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yostresswritinggirl · 1 year

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What Do You Mean I'm The New Grand Sage?!

Alhaitham, Cyno, Tighnari, Kaveh x Grand Sage! Reader; separate, gender neutral

In some twisted turn of events, Lesser Lord Kusanali herself thought you are the best candidate for the position of the Akademiya's Grand Sage. From a Haravatat Researcher to soon running a whole region, how do you deal with this? And do the prodigal scholars approve of you?

'It's been weeks now and there's still no proper Grand Sage.'

'If it were me, I would have fired the two remaining sages, they might scheme as revenge.'

'How can we trust the choices of the next Grand Sage anyways? What if history repeats itself?'

Despite the House of Daena being respectfully quiet with only murmurs and mumbles from the surrounding entourage, these unspoken words taunt and occupy the mind of the Dendro Archon as she takes into account all the thoughts of her people regarding the matter.

All the candidates for the Grand Sage and other sage positions, as well as the exceptional figures of each darshan (some of which are familiar to her) crowd around the table where the Lesser Lord situated herself.

Unfortunately, based on Nahida's standards, none of them qualify for the position.

"Lesser Lord Kusanali?" Opening her eyes, Nahida tilts her head to the Scribe situated on a seat next to her, a quill unused in his hand. "Is something the matter?"

"Just deep in thought." Crossing her arms, the god of wisdom would hum to herself as she tapped her chin. "For example, what would the new Grand Sage do once they get appointed?" And with that, she closed her eyes again.

As expected, more thoughts filtered through her mind as the audience took the bait and began pondering on the provoking question in their minds.

'Just do what the past Grand Sage did? Minus the evil? This is easy.'

'As a Grand Sage, I would probably fire all the personnel, they can't be trusted.'

'Cultivate wisdom and govern Sumeru as best as possible, right?'

'With the Lesser Lord in power, probably just answer to what she wants.'

'Hm, to what extent did Azar mess up the system anyways? It would definitely be good to fix the things that he deliberately abused as soon as possible, right? The unnecessary laws, look into the international affair decisions he's done too, he might have signed contracts that would be damaging to Sumeru in the long run -'

A hit! But an unfamiliar voice. Opening her eyes, the god of wisdom looked around the area to look for the voice to match a face.

"Are you looking for something, Lord Kusanali?" Cyno straightened up on his stance by her side as he watched the archon stand on her seat. The action urged him to scan the area too, albeit for different reasons.

'Why am I thinking about this right now? I should really hurry home -'

"Over there!" The crowd parts like the sea as everyone in the area turned towards someone in researcher garb. Which looks to be... drenched in water. Looking up from wringing the sleeves of your robe, you finally notice all the attention on you.

"Ah! Sorry about the mess, I fell in the fountain in front of -"

"You shall be the new Grand Sage, (Y/N)."

The whole Akademiya seemed to have quieted down to the point that you could hear the individual droplets of water splatter from your hair on to the marble flooring of the House of Daena.

"Huh?"

And like catharsis, everyone exploded in exclamations of disbelief. Including you.

"With their determination alone, their steadfast effort is enough to shape them to the right person to hold the title of Grand Sage."

With the absence of the Akasha Terminal and the person that holds records of documentations and research, Alhaitham was reasonably the person that people flocked towards for information about you. Despite the inconvenience, there are a lucky few that the Scribe entertained.

The male personally knows you as a Haravatat graduate who researched about the current civilization and quality of life of Sumeru in great detail, something that honored your name for being their darshan's most cited thesis. And when asked about your eligibility to be the next Grand Sage, he repeats those words, even when the archon herself asked.

After all, he himself had been privy to that determination. Your dedication to graduate and use your knowledge to create something worthwhile, beneficial, purposeful. A kind of vigor for knowledge so pure and immense that not even he remembers having the same amount of passion.

Even now as he pretends to be occupied with his book, he watches as you practically lay on the huge table for Azar the Grand Sage in exhaustion, Alhaitham was confident that your sighs results from your worry of finding the best solution.

He lowers his eyes back to the pages just in time with you finally lifting your head. "Alhaitham?" He pretends the small smile was out of politeness, not because you have yet to get accustomed to being entirely formal with him.

"Yes, Future Grand Sage?" Alhaitham masks his voiceless laugh with the book in his hand at the sight of you huffing, sputtering at the foreign title.

"Azar had you draft the gazette when he makes up a new law or order, right?" He nods, you grip your head as if you were having a headache, which is quite likely at this point. "If you don't mind, do you think you can give me a copy of all of the laws he created? And the meeting transcripts too?"

"That is certainly doable. However," you straightened up when Alhaitham stood across the table to stare you eye to eye, placing his book on your table. "That would be hundreds of documents to go through, are you sure you're able to utilize that amount for your perusing?"

The expression on your face showed that you haven't exactly accounted that part. But there it was, that flicker in your eyes that captures you so perfectly, the perseverance that had always kept you afloat. Now he can bare witness to it. "I'm sure."

Even if he didn't have to, Alhaitham stayed by your side the whole time, assisting you about certain laws and contexts if you ever needed it.

And when you fell asleep on the table after hours of reading, he immediately placed his cape on your shoulders, because you needed it.

Surprisingly enough, Alhaitham is the one who puts in a good word about your designation out of all of them.

What they're unaware of is that he's quite fond of you and your prestige, being in the same darshan had him subtly defending you from the rumors other darshans/candidates spread.

You should be grateful that you have Alhaitham as your Scribe. Not only is he meticulous and dedicated to his work, but he acts as your assistant with how closely related your positions are.

Perhaps his usefulness and help also stems with the fact that he was the most recommended candidate before he declined, and the knowledge he had honestly makes him look like your master and you his apprentice.

A lot of times, you end up comparing yourself to him when you feel like you're lacking.

Thankfully, Alhaitham's perceptive made him aware of your tells, and knows when you're having such thoughts. He would try to derail that train of thought immediately, subtly remind you of your progress, or straight up tell you you're wrong.

For such an emotionless co-worker, he sure does well with being your hypeman.

"A lack of harmonious relationship with the archon, even with the people of Sumeru, became the downfall of Azar, . That level of respect is crucial in ensuring that history would not repeat itself."

As Lesser Lord Kusanali's main guardian, it was only logical that his beliefs about what the new grand sage should embody reflects that. And perhaps there were also some details that influenced his opinion, details that he would never elaborate on.

This isn't the first time he had been less receptive to the decisions of the archon (the first being the punishment of the Sages, if you can even call it that) but this one has more potential to go awry than any other.

His cold stare only grew colder, sharper, now that you've been assigned the highest seat in the Akademiya. You can tell his prejudices without him having to spell it out.

The harshest of glares usually happen when you request an audience with the god of wisdom, him always standing by her side in case you become hostile. Which is honestly quite a hilarious take - you? Harming a god? But with the history of the previous Grand Sage's you can't exactly call his fault.

In your case however, despite the stories of Cyno's job as the General Mahamatra, you never once feared the possibility of his judgment on you as an academic. After all, if you had done nothing bad, then you're out of his case, right? So as far as you know, this is your first time knowing about each other's presence.

Although, being nominated after you fell in the Akademiya's fountain and made a mess everywhere you walked certainly isn't the best first impression.

However, after one too many times you feel a chill up your spine yet see no one when you look around the area for a possible cause, you're starting to suspect that he may know you more than you know him.

"She's currently resting in the Sanctuary of Surasthana, don't -"

"Ah, no, I'm not here to ask about Lesser Lord Kusanali today." At your sheepish demeanor, Cyno opted to close his mouth and wait for your reason to approach him. So you continued. "I was actually hoping if you could accompany me to Aaru Village."

"The desert?" Why him?

"I've heard that you've been closely working with Lesser Lord Kusanali to rebuild the relations with the desert side of Sumeru." Your fidgeting made him notice the thick notebook tucked under your arm. "I wanted to ask questions about the details, as well as see for myself what else could be done."

There was a long pause of silence that passed by with you mostly avoiding looking into his eyes directly. Humbled but respectful. Cyno sighs. "You're not in proper attire to journey to the desert, nor do you have the proper equipment." Your gaze followed his retreating form until he stopped and looked over his shoulder to you. "Are you coming or what? Standing around does not count as preparing."

"Right! I'm on it!"

It was a long process, but you managed to convince Cyno of your worth, especially when it comes to your efforts to help the desert. He had seen it all himself and at this point he couldn't deny it any further.

Cyno would find his tailing to be out of security instead of suspicion, often times finding himself walking by your side as your protector whenever you had to go out. After all, you're still an important figure, your safety is high priority.

Soon, it would be you who he would go to concerning updates about the desert, hearing out your efforts for rehabilitation. Your desert internship program to help Setaria with her education efforts is by far his favorite.

Despite being the General Mahamatra, he found a bit of his job description changing: being the protector of the Dendro Archon and the new Grand Sage.

Whenever you have to cross to the desert to either talk with the village chief or negotiate with the Eremites, he would always find time in his schedule to be your escort.

Perhaps it was his mistake to doubt Alhaitham's judgment on this one. At the very least, Cyno became your ever reliable check-and-balance.

"At the end of the day, well intentions are enough of a factor to understand the path one would trek no matter the adversaries."

Tighnari was positive that he wouldn't have to deal with the Akademiya anymore after Lesser Lord Kusanali, maybe even enjoy a more peaceful life in the forest now that the Withering had stopped spawning together with Eleazar disappearing.

But of course, the exiled sages just had to be dropped into his forest for their 'tap on the wrist' punishment. Perhaps that would be the end of the Akademiya pestering him now that there's no need to exploit him for some evil scheme.

Well, the world had never been to kind to the forest watcher, what would make this any different? The hybrid would sigh as he watched a group donning Akademiya robes approach Ghandarva Ville, none of which he's familiar with.

This is a larger group compared to the ones the previous sages trying to coerce him back to the city brought - now that he squints, there seem to be Corps of Thirsty members tailing the group, too. This doesn't bode well at all.

At least Cyno's there. "And what business do you have in Ghandarva Ville to cause such a ruckus so early in the day?" Straight to the point, Tighnari stares dryly at the person that seems to be in charge of the group.

However, at the sight of Cyno freezing up in his peripheral, the forest watcher immediately realized that this is unlike any other encounters he had dealt with. Unlike the arrogance of the other scholars and sages, he could see how you looked conflicted from speaking.

"Seeing as you don't look to be well-informed," ah there's the Akademiya scholar he expected. The researcher gestures to you. "The Future Grand Sage is here to see the exiled former sages in hopes to interview them about their previous positions."

He wants to bite back, he really does - why was he not informed beforehand? Why are there so many personnel with you? How sure are they that you are not trying to conspire with Azar? Why are YOU the next grand sage?

"Alright." And he will never admit the relief he felt when your despondent look immediately lifted at his response. "It's a bit of a walk from here. And being the person assigned to oversee their training, I would like to be there during the exchange too."

"Thank you." You cut off the arrogant spokesperson before he even uttered a single word of protest, presenting a bulky journal in your hand to the forest watcher. "I actually prepared a set of questions to ask that you could verify -"

Old habits die hard, and admittedly, Tighnari didn't want to treat you more than the people he works with everyday, the people around you can easily do that for him. But he refrained from letting any past prejudice cloud his judgment on your character: there is undoubtedly something different about you in comparison to the old sages, and he didn't want his attitude to change that.

One day during one of your many visits however, Tighnari may have spilled a bit about his discontent about the attention your entourage brings to his forest. Even with you next in charge, he still dislikes bringing the affairs of the Akademiya to the forest rangers' territory.

He thought his words was out of pocket when letters of notice regarding your arrival ceased. Did you get all the information you needed from the sages? Or was what he said finally drove you away? That wasn't at all his intentions.

One random encounter brought him answer when the suspicious cloaked figure waving at him from behind a tree turned out to be you. "You said you didn't want my personnel to come so I decided to visit discreetly from now on."

At least you were... considerate. Conversation came easy without multiple glares constantly stabbing him in the back, talking about your progress as well as the conditions of Ghandarva Ville on the way to the training area of the sages.

While he was wary and skeptical about your appointment despite his utmost trust in the dendro archon's judgment, Tighnari soon came to accept your honesty and determination.

That transparency and good-intended perseverance are what Azar lacked, but under your rule, perhaps Sumeru would really be in good hands now.

Tighnari leaned against the tree as he watched your passionate discussion with the previous Haravatat sage. Undeniably, you as you are now without the title, greatly reminds him of someone dear.

"We've long realized that wisdom alone begets arrogance. Perhaps fixing the prejudices against the pursuit of art and whatever this and that Azar has gotten his grubby hands on should be first priority."

"Let me through! I must speak with them, this is important matter, too! If the new grand sage is really -"

Turning your head towards the commotion, your conversation with Alhaitham ended shortly as a tuft of blonde became visible from the sea of Mahamata's trying to keep him away from you.

Patting the imaginary dust off his sleeves, Kaveh would look into your baffled gaze with unyielding resolve. "I've heard you had been meticulously gathering the opinions of Sumeru and thought I could be of help."

"Exercise some tact, Kaveh, we're in the presence of the appointed Grand Sage here."

"I don't need your sass today, Scribe -"

"No, it's fine, Alhaitham. I was actually planning on talking to Kaveh at some point, anyways." Wait, you are? Kaveh dumbfoundedly asked as he watched you move a few books around to get to a worn out journal under the pile. "I assume you're here to represent the arts."

Besides the conversation, Kaveh insists he takes you out to the Bazaar and his magnum opus to properly showcase the culture. Alhaitham, who looked positively displeased of the impromptu outing, had to stay back to focus on documenting a new batch of submitted thesis.

It was endearing to see someone as passionate about change in Sumeru as you talk about the harmful acts Azar published against the Bazaar and the pursuit of arts. Well, what else can you expect from the Light of the Kshahrewar?

Talking to him about anything and everything felt like you were conversing with friends, a very vocal and expressive friend. Especially when you're introduced to the Palace of Alcazarzaray, something he looks at with both pride and regret.

"I am simply making sure that Alhaitham had not brainwashed you with his sense of morality. Knowing him, you won't gather such thoughts about the importance of arts from him."

"Thank you for bringing this to my attention." You really were, after running around from here to both ends of Sumeru, you're very grateful that your source of info decided to come to you instead. "It's not an easy feat trying to undo 500 years worth of corruption."

"I can already see how Sumeru would be under your care." He flashes a genuine smile. "Thank you for hearing me out as well, future Grand Sage, I'm rooting for you. You're already doing much better than the previous Grand Sage."

It was a simple reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, but when he finally sobered up from the feeling of elation, Kaveh can't help but scream to his pillow about how buddy-buddy he acted to THE FUTURE GRAND SAGE!

Kaveh offers a fresh perspective and a lighter, reassuring encouragement in comparison. Perhaps being the person who knows less of the details helped form a positive judgment.

Like Tighnari, he keeps a level-headed approach when it comes to your position, but less about respect and more on shared beliefs.

When it comes to efforts to rehabilitate certain areas, Kaveh is always quick to offer his guidance and opinion. He knows you trust him due to his honesty and genuine want for a better future for Sumeru.

He's also the type to casually waltz in to your office when he has a brilliant idea or important information to share. At this point, he's talked to you more than the new Kshahrewar sage - if he's so adamant to be heard, why didn't he accept the nomination?

Whenever he stumbles upon you when you're outside or he sees you pondering the giant orb™ in your office, he's quick to voice his concern and urge you to take a break.

His intentions recently are hard to read, but he really does believe in you, and he's not shy to voice that fact.

You just find yourself missing the quietness of your office before Alhaitham and Kaveh's banter in front of your table became commonplace.

"The Akademiya and Sumeru as a whole would surely flourish under this new samsara if I were to lead it with you by my side."

Lesser Lord Kusanali gives a knowing look at the sight of you standing straight in the presence of the archon, opting to offer your seat (which she declined) and refusing to sit down as a sign of respect.

She didn't need to read your mind to know. "How have you been? I've heard from the others that you've been working really hard to prepare for your inauguration."

Conscious, you pulled at the grey sleeve signifying your position as the current sage of Haravatat. Admittedly, it was a little stiff and stuffy for you, thicker and more uncomfortable than your uniforms in the Akademiya as a scholar and researcher. You missed those times.

"I've gathered a lot of opinions and information about operating as a sage as well as the current matters of Sumeru." Nahida smiles widely at this, before her expression faltered when you still had a bothered look on your face.

As far as she knows, you've gathered all the resources you need, more than you need even. So why do you seem troubled still despite your meticulous preparation? "Is there something in your mind?"

"I don't - I respect your wisdom, I really do and I'm honored that you think of me this way. But I'm - is this really the right decision? Am I really fit for this?"

Oh, so it's about that! You looked up from your journal laying on the table at the sound of the dendro archon's giggles, not at all expecting that reaction. Was your question that laughable?

"Not at all, I'm just amazed that you haven't noticed." Floating over to where you stood, her tiny hands reached up to give you - head pats? Embarrassed but too scared to deny, you took the gesture. "Since that day, I was certain that there would be no other puzzle piece that would fit the position of Grand Sage other than you."

You part your lips to interject, but she was quicker.

"And besides, there are many who share my view. I'm not the only one who believes in you, and you will see it for yourself when the time comes."

"When the time comes?" Holding on to your hand, Nahida starts pulling you towards the elevator and out of the House of Daena. Only when you reached the double doors of the Akademiya did she finally let go.

"You have these doubts because you are a good person, (Y/N). And even then, your own thoughts cloud your mind from seeing that the only person that doubts you now," Nahida would gesture towards the door. "Is you."

Looking back and forth between the entrance and Nahida's encouraging smile, you took a deep breath before pushing open the door -

Only to be met by a roar of cheers and explosion of applause.

Your fellow Sages, Alhaitham, Cyno, Kaveh, even Tighnari (with his ears pressed down) stood near the entrance with smiles of their own. But looking past the Akademiya staff and scholars, a crowd made up of Sumeru citizens from Port Ormos, the Bazaar, Ghandarva Ville, and even Aaru Village occupy the platform and every inch of the paths going up and down the Divine Tree.

Their collective chants mixed together to convey their utmost respect and belief in you.

"Every single one of them are here to root for you," turning to your side, Nahida stood next to you with a gray hat cradled on her palms. "Grand Sage."

Biting your lip to stop a big wobbly grin, you finally let out a relieved sigh as you kneeled in front of the god of wisdom, closing your eyes as she walked forward to place the hat of the Grand Sage on your head.

"People of Sumeru, may I present to you the new Grand Sage, (Y/N)."

The overwhelming amount of support from everyone made you take off your monocle to rub at your eyes.

And when your biggest supporters stepped forward to congratulate you, everything felt just right.

You got this.

Can't believe my random idea got written first lmaao alright we're in the good feels arc now

@ireallylikehamsters

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #gender neutral #cyno x reader #alhaitham x reader #tighnari x reader #kaveh x reader #exile.flower #sumeru arc #cyno #kaveh #alhaitham #tighnari

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commsroom · 2 years

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i know it’s a popular idea, but i don’t think i can ever really be on board with the idea of lovelace having some big post-canon revenge tour. like, i can appreciate the catharsis of a good revenge narrative in other contexts, don’t get me wrong, but given the themes of wolf 359 as a show, and particularly the values lovelace expresses in her own character arc, i can’t see it as anything other than a tragic regression into the exact type of person she chose not to become.

“the whole epic rampage of revenge thing? isabel lovelace wouldn't do that. the terrible wretch that you people made isabel lovelace into? oh, she'd do that. but... i’m not going to be that person anymore. i’m going to be isabel lovelace again. even if i never have before.”

twice near the end of s3 hilbert calls lovelace isabel, sees in her some shared experience and reflection of himself and his willingness to do whatever it takes, by any means necessary, but he fails to realize that what he recognizes is the result of trauma inflicted on her largely by him. hilbert is a constant reminder of what lovelace has lost and what’s been done to her, and in some sick way that makes him the last link to her past. they both die, and she comes back, and he doesn’t, and she decides to be isabel lovelace again. i don’t think that’s a coincidence.

wolf 359 as a show seems to believe in the futility of revenge - all of dirty work, “and then what? who pays for this? who owns up for this murder? and for the one after this one?” - and places its faith instead in the power of individuals to break cycles of violence and abuse. and i think that’s relevant to the wording of lovelace’s final lines in the show: “look up some old friends, take apart goddard futuristics brick by brick... maybe go to disneyland? but first, i’m going to take a long vacation, somewhere warm and quiet, where nobody has any idea who i am.”

lovelace feels a sense of duty in dismantling goddard and holding them to account, but it’s a world away from the all-consuming ire and drive for revenge “run and hide” contained. i think that’s where the focus should be. it’s not about hurting the people who hurt her, not anymore. it’s about preventing them from hurting anyone else. it’s a final act of love and closure for the people she couldn’t save, to say: i’m still here. i remember you. i’ll make sure your families know the truth. i’ll make sure they never hurt anyone else, ever again. i can’t bring you back, but your deaths won’t be in vain.

i think it’s important to emphasize that lovelace is NOT a violent person. she doesn’t want to be. she doesn’t enjoy it. whatever she may have been driven to by fear and trauma and desperation, she chooses to be isabel lovelace, and that’s not the person isabel lovelace is. i hope she does help take goddard down. structurally. brick by brick. and then i hope she lives a good, peaceful, happy life, in the memory of all her loved ones who couldn’t. like minkowski in boléro: “so that we never forget how important it is that we're still here.”

#wolf 359 #w359 #isabel lovelace #i hope this doesn't seem confrontational at all it's just.#something that's been on my mind for a long time #i have some other tangential thoughts that i might get into later about. revenge in wolf 359 and how the alternative to that #isn't exactly forgiveness #it's about. healing it's about choosing to end cycles of violence and trauma and saying. i won't let you hurt anyone else #and i won't enact hurt. no matter how much i want to or how much you may deserve it. because taking away the power to do hurt #matters more than retribution #and that does kind of tie in to wolf's overall stance on rehabilitative justice #and it's very human. that someone can be an irredeemable monster to one person and someone else's best friend #obviously to differing degrees of severity but. there's something to it.#i do think jacobi and lovelace could potentially parallel each other in a post-canon scenario but it's because they've both #been in that place of all-consuming desire for retribution and had to step back from it. in their own ways.#and they're kind of the outsiders in a way because they've both lost Their people. lovelace is closer to the others than jacobi by FAR but.#it's not the same.#also re: clones in wolf 359 and how they're on opposite sides of that. experience.#the tiamat logs suggest maybe each clone is a little bit different in subtle ways but i think it's worth considering that maybe #they are identical at the moment of creation and the 'differences' the aspects of them that are amplified are a result of #minute differences in their experiences and ways they're treated from that point forward #but that the potential for all of those things was the same in each of them #there's also something about the use of names in wolf 359 #especially how often Full Names are used as a way to assert identity #to say #no matter who you become. what version of yourself you cultivate. you are still Yourself and no one can take that away.#it's a choice. and there's something powerful in that.#anyway. getting away from myself here.

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girlonthelasttrain · 8 months

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The revenge fantasy is often a mirror image of the traumatic memory, in which the roles of perpetrator and victim are reversed. It often has the same grotesque, frozen, and wordless quality as the traumatic memory itself. The revenge fantasy is one form of the wish for catharsis. The victim imagines that she can get rid of the terror, shame, and pain of the trauma by retaliating against the perpetrator. The desire for revenge also arises out of the experience of complete helplessness. In her humiliated fury, the victim imagines that revenge is the only way to restore her own sense of power. She may also imagine that this is the only way to force the perpetrator to acknowledge the harm he has done her. Though the traumatized person imagines that revenge will bring relief, repetitive revenge fantasies actually increase her torment. Violent, graphic revenge fantasies may be as arousing, frightening, and intrusive as images of the original trauma. They exacerbate the victim’s feelings of horror and degrade her image of herself. They make her feel like a monster. They are also highly frustrating, since revenge can never change or compensate for the harm that was done. People who actually commit acts of revenge, such as combat veterans who commit atrocities, do not succeed in getting rid of their post-traumatic symptoms; rather, they seem to suffer the most severe and intractable disturbances. During the process of mourning, the survivor must come to terms with the impossibility of getting even. As she vents her rage in safety, her helpless fury gradually changes into a more powerful and satisfying form of anger: righteous indignation. This transformation allows the survivor to free herself from the prison of the revenge fantasy, in which she is alone with the perpetrator. It offers her a way to regain a sense of power without becoming a criminal herself. Giving up the fantasy of revenge does not mean giving up the quest for justice; on the contrary, it begins the process of joining with others to hold the perpetrator accountable for his crimes.

— Judith L. Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

#well! x2 #reading journal #judith herman #trauma and recovery

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bestworstcase · 2 years

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Something about redemption is how some mistake humanizing people who've done some damn bad things (slavers, abusers, the worst you can imagine). That is, they might change but for now we're getting into the head of who has been framed by the show as "the worst." A descenter claimed that it's because we're tired of the news humanizing monsters and letting them get away with awful crimes, especially when they're people in power who'd get far more than a slap on the wrist otherwise. 1/

2/ Sorry if that sounded too vague. It's just a thought. We seem to like uncomplicated, easy-to-hate villains because we desire catharsis we never get in real life. Villains who are shown to be human in tandem with being despicable seem to feel like it's Fox News trying to make a martyr out of a monster.

it’s the christian hegemony

um my feelings on ‘redemption’ are pretty negative because conceptually it centers forgiveness as the mechanism for emotional and moral change (and in fiction very often skips over the actual. changing. to go straight to the absolution-through-forgiveness and gag if i wanted to read a morality play i would just read a morality play you feel me?)—ANYWAY

the thing about having a problem with news stories “humanizing monsters” is that the. the monsters in question ARE, in fact, human; human beings who chose to do terrible, depraved, repulsive things yes but to deny the humanity of evil people is to suggest that humans don’t have the capacity for evil, which we do. every person on this planet has the possibility of evil inside them and it doesn’t do anyone any favors to pretend otherwise. and while there is a legitimate and very widespread problem with human interest pieces and basic empathy being weaponized in a propagandistic fashion, the issue is not “humanizing monsters” it is entrenched systemic and personal bigotry that affords humanity only to members of the hegemonic classes. gkdhshk we fix it by challenging the dehumanization of marginalized victims, demanding empathy and acknowledgment of personhood for the people harmed by this, not by trying to expand the categories of people who don’t get to be human.

(also frankly a society that can’t hold someone accountable for evil acts without stripping away their humanity first is a society that is deeply, deeply sick.)

as it pertains to fiction and fandom redemption arc #discourse the whole discussion inevitably plays out like this:

AGAINST: this character did horrible things and is irredeemable! 😡 how can you even suggest letting them off the hook?!

FOR: but this character has suffered so much 🥺 don’t they deserve forgiveness?

AGAINST: no!! fuck this character! they deserve to be punished for what they did! [optional: insert unhinged revenge fantasy]

FOR: but this character’s past suffering is already punishment enough! 🥺 they deserve a chance to heal

AGAINST: what about all the people they hurt, huh? HUH? why should those people have to forgive this character just because this character had a bad life?

FOR: but this character just needs love and then they can be a better person 🥺

on and on and on. in every fandom. about every character. even the laundry list of irredeemable wrongs the “against” side always comes out with sooner or later tends to sound the same. eventually someone on the “for” team will bring up zuko and everyone against will produce a list of all the reasons this character isn’t like zuko and could never be zuko. kshfbsh fundamentally both sides of this argument agree that forgiveness is earned through punishment/suffering and the point of argument is always, always whether the villainous character has been sufficiently punished.

fun game: every time you encounter redemption arc discourse—whether for or against—start mentally replacing “redemption” and “forgiven” with the phrase “try to become a better person.” like: does cinder fall deserve redemption? does she deserve to try to become a better person?

see how that changes the meaning of the question? how it reframes the discussion such that the villainous character is no longer a passive receptacle for redemption or punishment or forgiveness but an active participant in their own character development? and how by focusing on the agency of the villainous character we place the onus for moral change on them rather than on the heroes?

does cinder fall deserve to be forgiven WHO CARES WHY DOES IT MATTER—but if she wants to do better? if she decides to crawl out of the darkness she’s burrowed herself into, what does that look like? what does she do? how can she atone for the terrible things she did? how do her changing goals and different choices shape the world she lives in and what do the other characters do in reaction to that? what does healing mean to her? if the possibility of her joining the heroes arises, how do the characters navigate that situation and the countless fraught, painful, contradictory emotions that it’s bound to inspire? like—hfbfks i’m using cinder as an example here because she’s the locus of most of the redemption discourse happening in the rwby fandom, but these are general questions. fundamentally i just don’t care about the bizarre moral calculus of whether a character’s personal suffering does or doesn’t outweigh their wrongdoing and entitle them to forgiveness.

tbh personally i don’t—i never have—find any catharsis in uncomplicated evil villains; like, they can be really FUN? love a character who’s just a complete fucking shitheel for no reason. and it can also be very satisfying to watch heroic characters defeat them, but for me that satisfaction is no different from the satisfaction of watching a character overcome any serious obstacle. like, uh—i got the same sense of satisfaction out of jaune grieving in front of pyrrha’s memorial as i did out of blake and yang taking adam down, you know? it’s about the culmination of the emotional arc, irrespective of whether there’s a bad guy to defeat or not.

(and then there’s also the secondary issue a lot of stories have of like, is this actually an uncomplicated evil monster or is this a character who challenges a legitimately bad status quo but the story is written by neoliberals so they’re also going to like shoot a baby or something so the audience will know that challenging the status quo is something only #evil people do?—or the subtler but no less obnoxious variant of is this actually an uncomplicated evil monster or is this just some guy who has been designated #evil for having goals that don’t align with what the protagonists want? nothing will get me to sympathize with a villain faster than a narrative double standard or a narrative that is constructing a cartoonishly evil strawman because it wants to wibble about how challenging systemic evil is even worse than systemic evil.)

hdjfhdjs not to say that people don’t or can’t feel catharsis over seeing villains get their comeuppance because plenty of folks do! it’s just a very big Can’t Relate thing for me haha

i just go wild for characters who are interesting, and what interests me is emotional complexity and dynamic character development. morality doesn’t really… come into it except for characters who have fraught relationships with their own morality, in which case the fraught internal conflict is what interests me irrespective of the actual moral inclination of the character. (this is also part of why redemption discourse exasperates me SO much; all ethical bones i have to pick with redemption conceptually aside, making forgiveness the focal point and fulcrum of change just totally ignores all the interesting junk in favor of treating the character like a static object and it’s BORING.)

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griseldagimpel · 2 years

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In Today’s Edition of People Being Wrong on the Internet

This is going to be a vague-post because I don’t feel like going through the effort of anonymizing the screencaps of the Bad Take in the Our Flag Means Death fandom that just irritated me. And ye gods do I wish blocking people on tumblr meant that I wouldn’t see their shitty meta anymore. Anyway, in no particular order, here goes:

Izzy is not Ed’s abuser. If Ed secludes himself from the rest of the crew, that’s because of Ed’s [depression-influenced] decisions; Izzy’s not locking him in. Nor do we ever see Izzy try to prevent Ed from interacting with the crew as a whole.

While there’s a lot of co-dependency and toxicity in Ed and Izzy’s relationship, it says a lot about both that Ed accepts Izzy’s honest (and often vulgar and abrasive) opinion, and that Izzy feels comfortable speaking so freely to him.

When Izzy tries to leave (in episode 4), it’s Ed who stops him from doing so. When Ed effectively has to choose between Izzy and Stede (in episode 6), he watches Izzy row away. Ed is not trapped in a situation with Izzy.

Izzy doesn’t want to be in control of Ed, although he does want Ed to act a certain way (because he believes it’s necessary for them to Not Die). This isn’t even, like, a virtue on the part of Izzy; he’s just very clearly a submissive. He wants Ed to be in charge and to be Ed’s trusted right hand man.

Izzy didn’t sell Ed out to the British; he instructed Calico Jack to get Ed away from the Revenge before the British showed up. Come on, fandom! This is literally text in the show! Ed being remanded into the custody of “Captain Hands” isn’t Ed being enslaved to Izzy. It’s not even Ed being put in a subordinate position to Izzy because shortly afterward, Izzy speaks very passionately about Ed being Izzy’s captain, with Izzy talking about himself as Ed’s first mate.

From a Watsonian perspective, the reason Ed gets remanded into Izzy’s custody is because Badminton (if not the rest of the British) cares only about killing Stede. Given that Ed wasn’t supposed to be on the Revenge when the British showed up, him being remanded into Izzy’s custody couldn’t have been part of the original deal. There’s gap where we don’t know how Izzy persuaded Badminton to do that.

From a Doyleist perspective, the reason Ed gets remanded into Izzy’s custody (shortly to regain his position as captain) is that Ed needs to be positioned in the narrative as able to get off scott free...as long as he lets Stede die. The significance of Ed giving up everything for Stede (by enacting the Acts of Grace) only works if Ed had something to give up.

Finally, no, Ed’s violence against Izzy isn’t “reactive abuse”. OMG no! He punches Izzy because he’s angry at Izzy trying to get Stede killed. He chokes Izzy because he’s angry at Izzy berating him for pining for his boyfriend. And he cuts off Izzy’s toe and forces Izzy to eat it because Ed is asserting control over Izzy. If he was afraid of Izzy, he could have stabbed him in his sleep or put him on the next rowboat off the ship.

Here’s something important to keep in mind: nobody (except Ed) fucking likes Izzy. There’s a structural factor to abuse, and within the societal structure of the Revenge, Izzy holds no power except that given to him by Ed with him being Ed’s first mate. All Izzy’s authority is derived from Ed’s authority. Which is why, when he did become captain, he got mutinied against in, like, a day.

In conclusion, Izzy’s all around an emotionally stunted jerk with shitty interpersonal skills and some serious hangups. But give Ed some fucking autonomy! Let him being accountable for his own character flaws!

#our flag means death #meta #someone was wrong on the internet #but i'm being so brave about it #by not responding to them directly #because they don't deserve to be dogpiled for having written bad meta

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gch1995 · 2 years

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I'm seeing posts saying that Anakin and Palpatine are the only ones to blame for Anakin falling and the Jedi had nothing to do with it. I'm strongly of the opinion that Anakin did horrible things before and after he fell, and he is to blame for those things and should be accountable for them, and that falling was a choice he made, but also nothing happens in a vaccum so saying that the Jedi had nothing to do with it isn't true. Mostly because if Anakin and Palpatine are to blame for Anakin falling, then who is to blame for allowing Palpatine access to Anakin since he was a child??? The Jedi. If nothing else they're to blame for that. It never sat right with me that the Jedi let that happen and yet when Anakin got older they expressed annoyance that he and Palpatine were close.

Yeah, Obi-Wan and the rest of the Jedi Council aren’t responsible for Anakin’s actions against the Order. Regardless of the compromised agency and shitty circumstances, Anakin does hold at least diminished responsibility for his crimes. Morally, he knew it was wrong, and no one held a gun to his head when he turned on the Jedi Order to try to avoid potential abandonment from his wife, so, in that sense, Anakin is guilty for his crimes against the Order.

However, his actionable agency was also deeply compromised emotionally, psychologically, physically, and financially by all of these abusive, controlling, deceitful, elitist, hypocritical, isolating, manipulative, negligent, and oppressive adults with power of authority and/or guardianship over him who groomed him and used him for their own ends his whole lifw. Obi-Wan, Yoda, and the Jedi Council are some of those people responsible for failing Anakin as authority figures, mentors, and guardians by compromising his actionable agency, even if they didn’t intend for Anakin to be used and turn against them like that.

The entire Order didn’t deserve mass murder, but those with power of authority over him in it made it possible for him to become a weapon who was used against them. They didn’t set out to create a monster intentionally and maliciously like Palpatine, but they still contributed heavily to the creation of Darth Vader, nonetheless.

Not to mention the fact that Obi-Wan, Mace Windu, Yoda, and the Jedi Council had already blindly and unwittingly given Palpatine the ability to execute Order 66 against the Republic and the entire Order without the rest of the galaxy in the Jedi’s corner when they fell by deciding to take on the clones as a slave army without protest and close supervision, and by deciding to take down the head of the Senate on suspicion of him being a Sith without the rest of the chamber’s knowledge in secret, so, no matter who Anakin sided with in the end of Revenge of the Sith, the Jedi and Republic were fucked either way.

Anyway, yeah, while the entire Order didn’t deserve mass murder, and Anakin’s no innocent either, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Mace Windu, and the Jedi Council are responsible for allowing a politician they knew to be shady all along to have unsupervised access to him as a child under their care. While there are never any clear answers given about when Anakin started his close relationship with the Chancellor in the movies, it’s heavily implied that they started getting close when he was a child with them around the age of 9-10 years old because Anakin tells Obi-Wan “The Chancellor has been looking out for me since I got here” in Revenge of the Sith. At the end of The Phantom Menace, it seems like Palpatine has already started taking an interest in little Anakin. That Disney Obi-Wan comic where Mace Windu, Obi-Wan, and the Council all let a tween Anakin speak alone to Palpatine to protect their reputation just further confirms what was already heavily implied in the movies.

It’s why I also found Yoda, Obi-Wan, and the rest of the Jedi Council to be very infuriating in most of Revenge of the Sith. They are sitting there blaming Anakin for growing attached to the Chancellor because they all think he’s shady. Obi-Wan even has the nerve to presume that Anakin asked the Chancellor for a seat on the Council, even though he wasn’t in the room when they were talking, and he was the one primarily responsible for Anakin’s care as a child who let them speak alone in the first place. The worst part is they prove themselves to be blind and inconsiderate hypocrites yet again when Yoda and the Council allow for Anakin to be on the Council after Obi-Wan acts like an ass-kisser by suggesting they let him on, just so they can use his friendship with the Chancellor to their benefit to weed him out as a Sith Lord without the rest of the Senate’s knowledge.

It’s just a lot of hypocrisy and victim blaming going on towards Anakin from Obi-Wan and the Jedi Council in AOTC and the first half of ROTC. Anakin wasn’t right to commit mass murder against the entire Order, but he wasn’t wrong to distrust and resent Obi-Wan and the Jedi Council for being blindly hypocritical, manipulative, and self-serving assholes. He was clearly their victim before going dark, not the other way around.

#anti jedi council #yoda critical #the tragedy of anakin skywalker #obi wan critical #lady-of-the-spirit

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cherryblossomshadow · 1 year

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I posted 1,775 times in 2022

That's 459 more posts than 2021!

142 posts created (8%)

1,633 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@takiki16

@castiellesbian

@whetstonefires

@cherryblossomshadow

@suibianworks

I tagged 1,775 of my posts in 2022

#star wars - 375 posts

#i ramble in the tags - 294 posts

#i speak - 270 posts

#retag - 256 posts

#i copy tags - 253 posts

#i post - 174 posts

#kenobi series - 146 posts

#funny - 119 posts

#kenobi spoilers - 100 posts

#character analysis - 98 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#when you see a character treated to an act of love or service and then they pay it forward and you can see how much that meant to them?

My Top Posts in 2022:

Subverted Character Expectations

Viktor was introduced as feeling stifled by Heimerdinger and wanting to make scientific discoveries. “Do you think it was my life’s ambition to be an assistant?” Viktor watched his friend gain popularity, power, and a new relationship, even as Viktor’s own health deteriorated rapidly. Viktor had every right to feel jealous. But he never was.

Mel Medarda was introduced as a master manipulator. She steered the council meeting with a deft hand and openly desired more. Her family legacy of wealth and her desire to match that was one of the first things we learned about her. Honestly, I was ready to stan her as a problematic fave. I thought I knew which pitfalls her character would fall into. But she didn’t! She pursued peace! She was able to selflessly* sponsor him into the highest position in their city, without becoming subsumed into Jayce’s goals. Yet she also had no intention to use him to further her own goals. *Yes, I said selflessly, because honestly, I don’t know what she gained out of this. I know this is not necessarily the best scenario for Piltover’s citizens or even Jayce himself. But she didn’t do it for herself. I can only assume that because her family dealt in power, that helping Jayce accumulate power was something of a selfless gift from her to the boy she’s crushing on. Because who wouldn’t want power? Certainly not a Medarda.

Professor Heimerdinger was introduced as an archetype of the Old and Wise mentor. But he’s not in tune with the younger generations. He’s no Uncle Iroh or Mr Miyagi, with exactly the right nugget of wisdom for his padawan exactly when they need it most. When he explains his concerns about the arcane, he immediately offers his go-to solution ⁠— to wait. And he doesn’t take into account how maddening that feels to humans with a considerably shorter lifespan than him (especially when one of them is terminally ill). Which gets him overthrown in an absolutely believable way.

Silco was introduced as a two-dimentional, cookie-cutter villain in Act 1. His motivations were straightforward ⁠— revenge and revolution. But his relationship with Jinx really pulled him into three-dimensional space. Jinx was not just a vehicle through which to see Silco’s nicer tendencies; she was the reason he had any. And his struggle to gain independence for Zaun was that much more interesting when it caused conflict for him due to his valuing Jinx’s wellbeing (or what he saw as her wellbeing).

This is a show based on a video game! I was not expecting it to be even a little good, not to mention THIS good! I was absolutely expecting cookie-cutter characters and a million references to things I would have no way of understanding.

111 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

See the full post

170 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

What gets me about the SNL Try Guys video is their ignorance of context.

SNL ... honey ... that video was not for you.

You don't care about the Try Guys, and you don't have to. But that video was made for their fans, for the people who are already invested in them. You don't understand why they're upset about this abuse of power sorry breach of trust sorry "consensual kiss" so instead you made fun of men showing emotions and holding each other accountable. Look, I know there are worse situations, as you so bluntly pointed out. But that doesn't mean the Try Guys shouldn't have taken it seriously. That doesn't mean that there aren't consequences, that there aren't lives overturned (like the woman whom you dismissively called a Food Baby throughout your video)

275 notes - Posted October 13, 2022

Finn's Lighter

Okay, so this detail had me howling with delight, and it’s not even that subtle. But the lighter?

How Sevika accepted Finn's deal by letting him light her cigar?

See the full post

276 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Soldier Boy: I always wanted kids so I could do it better than my father

Also Soldier Boy, seconds after seeing his son for the second time: You're a fucking disappointment

5,971 notes - Posted July 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i ramble in the tags #about me #2022 #i post #most of those are organizational tags #again #:(#surprised that #star wars #is the highest tag #probably bc #kenobi series #?

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pyroclastic727 · 3 years

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Luz’s love language and what it means for the season finale

Content warning: discussions of Luz’s depression and suicidal tendencies

The Owl House is back!--and it’s a lot more depressing than before. While the adventures are just as deadly as the last season, this time our lovely Luz Noceda is being affected by their trauma-inducing qualities, and now she has depression.

This is largely reflected in the series itself. During Separate Tides, virtually every discussion is about the loss of powers. The townspeople deprive Eda of money and publicly humiliate her for her lack of magic. Luz goes bounty hunting for money to deal with magic. Luz literally tries to commit suicide in that cave, to get money that would somehow offset the debt of ruining Eda’s life.

Then we get to Escaping Expulsion, and things don’t brighten up. We meet the abusers--sorry I meant The Blights--and get a firsthand look at the source of Amity Blight’s fears. They spend the entire episode trying to kill Luz, because she doesn’t have any magic. Then Amity delivers a lovely speech about wanting to be a better person, while alienating her entire family and pretending to be crushed to death for an audience--yet another example of a character cutting ties and being publicly humiliated in order to express their love for Luz.

Overall the tone has become much darker--not in the way that there’s more eyeballs in places we shouldn’t have any, but in the way that Luz genuinely doesn’t believe she deserves to be loved, and the only way the message gets through to her is when other people copy her suicidal behaviors.

The issue, you see, is that she’s been showing signs of that for a while-- I just didn’t know how far Owl House was willing to take that. One of my analyses from last year points out that Luz demonstrates and understands love via acts of service--which is why she’s always throwing herself into dumb situations, and why she really appreciates when Amity ditches her friends to join her Grudgby team.

Season Two takes it a step further. In the ultimate act of love, Eda lets the curse overtake her and basically gives her life in order to let Luz get out of there in one piece. Luz didn’t come out unscathed, though, because now she’s seen that the best way to show affection is by suicide.

And she does this.

A lot.

You see, Luz doesn’t think she deserves love. She asserts this throughout the season. So these last two episodes have consisted of the people around her trying to piece her back together. Eda delivers the most amazing speech about self-worth--and while it’s the type of speech to frame on your wall and read every morning, it’s not quite sinking in for Luz.

That’s part of why Amity’s heroic display of love hits Luz so hard. Amity isn’t doing what she usually does, and trying to hold Luz’s hand for a minute at a time. This time, she threw away her relations with her parents for Luz-- a much more dangerous version of cutting off Boscha for the grudgby team. That’s why Luz blushes, that’s why she stammers a reply. Amity put her life in great danger, signing herself up for a much worse fate from her parents (as they’re now fueled by revenge) and, for that moment, agreeing to get literally crushed by an abomination.

You can also read all of this as a metaphor for how homosexuality is frowned upon by capitalist society and condemns you to public humiliation and ostracism in order to support the one you love, but that’s not what we’re discussing today. We’re discussing what this means for the finale.

Because here’s the thing. If Luz wants to show love, she has to do some grand and heroic gesture. If Luz wants to do something grand and heroic in the Boiling Isles, she has to have magic. That’s part of why she’s so damn suicidal lately: that’s literally the only thing she has power over. That’s the only thing she can do.

But there’s one thing that people haven’t taken into account yet. You see, magic is a force that’s shrouded in mystery, that’s granted to certain people via biological factors. It’s a privilege based on species. But at its core, magic is just a science that has yet to be understood by the people of the Boiling Isles. Luz, Eda, and Lilith have an ability that no one else on the entire island has: they know how to use glyphs.

Now, let’s say that everyone loses the ability to use bile sac magic, and glyphs are the only magic remaining.

That would give Luz an edge, right?

If glyph magic is all that remains, that means Luz can be the one to save Amity, instead of the other way around. As the person who’s been practicing glyphs the longest, she’d be the most skilled and the most capable.

She wouldn’t have to endanger herself to prove the lengths she’s willing to go. Not when she has an ability beyond what most others can do.

But that’s not reasonable, because why would everyone lose their magic? It’s not like there’s one person who is capable of restricting magic, and if he chose, he could take everyone’s magic for himself...right?

Oh, right. Emperor Belos.

You can check my post on covens as a capitalist metaphor for my full discussion. At the time, I read the capitalist metaphor as a statement on the world and nothing more. But now it has chilling implications.

You see, the point of capitalism is for one person to accrue all of the money for himself and force everyone else to work for him. Belos is this person, this monarch who takes the power of others. He’s building a portal for something, I don’t know what. That’s not the important piece here.

What’s important is that, once he has that portal open, does he need the covens?

Does he need his exploited labor force? He’ll have an army of abominations, so there’s no point in having any skilled fighters. So anyone who wants to use war magic loses that ability. At the season 2 ending, if he wants, Emperor Belos can take every kind of magic in the Boiling Isles.

Which makes sense, right? He outlawed wild magic for a reason, and it’s like Eda said. If it’s wild, Belos can’t control it.

But Luz, Eda, and Lilith have wild magic in their control. They’re the only ones who can. So if Belos takes all the power for himself, if he becomes a god among men, there will still be three people who can stop him.

And one of them is willing to do anything to justify her existence. Luz Noceda stop at nothing to take Emperor Belos down, and give wild magic to everyone.

#the owl house #toh #owl house #the owl house analysis #toh analysis #the owl house predictions #owl house predictions #pyro.toh #analysis #long post #luz noceda #amity blight #escaping expulsion #separate tides

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pinkfishs · 3 years

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Just finished d.p. and wow...I have a lot of thoughts but I think my biggest one is currently fuck the military. No seriously, fuck the military and everything it stands for.

PSA: As someone who knows practically nothing about the korean military system and had to do some research on my own after watching, everything I'll be discussing will solely focus on the show and the depictions of the military in the show alone(though I do have my gripes towards most military systems so keep that in mind)!

** SPOILERS AHEAD **

Before I get into discussing the actual contents of the show, I just want to warn viewers interested that this drama is fucked up. There are comedic moments and we are blessed to watch an incredible friendship between An Jun-Ho and Han Ho-Yul but that is a small fraction of the show. There is constant depictions of suicide, abuse and sexual assault and its incredibly dark so watch at your own risk.

Alright, moving on...d.p. immediately opens with our main character, An Jun-Ho, being bullied by an anonymous character whom we are shown later on(and wow is this bastard a gem). The show doesn’t waste anytime setting the tone and we already know that we’re heading into some fuckery. An Jun-Ho is offered the role of becoming a D.P Officer and essentially is in charge of capturing and arresting army deserters. This specific scene stood out to me at first because we are shown just how hostile the atmosphere is. As AJH is being offered this opportunity, a few of his fellow soldiers are staring in disbelief and anger and soon he is accused, in a “joking manner”, of doing sexual favors in order to achieve this role.

As the show progresses and we meet a few other army deserters, one of whom kills himself, we begin to realize that the soldiers are doing more than teasing others. We begin to open up to the brutal and corrupt world of the military service and the lengths high-ranking soldiers will go to keep this all under wraps in order to preserve their status and reputation. Between forcing one man to masturbate in front of the other, and putting a gas mask on a sleeping soldier all while filling it up with water just because he snores, the men are genuinely cruel to one another and it is hard to watch.

The show does a wonderful job at holding everyone accountable. Higher-ranking officials are shown to care more about their reputation, and other soldiers who aren’t being bullied and abused are shown as bystanders who allow the bullying to happen, and AJH is one of them. There is no innocent person in these situations other than the one on the receiving end of the bullying.

The character who made the largest impact in the show, in my humble opinion, is Suk-Bong, who is regularly harassed, bullied and sexually abused. We are only shown bits and pieces of his bullying in the beginning and assume that his role in the show will be minor, until he becomes a deserter himself. Hell bent on seeking revenge on the one who encouraged the bullying and harassment, the show captures as he slowly descends into a blind rage, rage that drives him to insanity. As we reach the climax of the show with SB pointing a gun to his abuser’s head, he utters the words, “If I want something to change, I should at least do something” and he then turns the gun on himself. These words are powerful and meant to show that this must be the beginning of change, that it has to be the beginning of change. By killing himself, SB believes that he is no longer becoming his abuser and that he is creating change that needs to happen in the military system.

The final closing scene crushes any last slither of hope we have when his friend is shown to be getting bullied and harassed as well. His suicide was nothing but another insane man killing himself because he couldn’t handle the pressures of the military. Nothing has changed, and nothing will change. We are hit with the cold reality that this is the flaw of an entire system and unfortunately one man can’t change something that has been the same forever. His friend then utters something similar, stating, “I should at least do something,” before turning his gun on everyone in the room and firing. Nothing has changed. It is the same cycle over and over again and we are left with darkness and dreary silence before the closing sequence begins.

Nothing has changed.

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

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Kisame x reader x Itachi? I feel they both team up and if like someone put there darling on jeopardy they would be very overprotective! What would happen if she got bad enough injured like there legs or arm?

I was pretty excited to write this. This is actually my first time writing about Kisangani because he was requested.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, manipulation, kidnapping, threatening, blackmailing, sadistic behavior, killing, death, abuse

Kisame and Itachi sharing a darling

🦈🍡I actually see both of them entrusting the safety of their darling to each other if worse comes to worse since they’re partners and pretty much the only persons they could ask for help. So you could be either Kisame’s darling at first or Itachi’s darling. I see the chances that Itachi might be more willing to ask Kisame for help since he focuses a lot on his darling’s well-being, he dedicates much effort into it. Kisame is more on the possessive side and doesn’t really like the thought of asking Itachi for help, but on the long run he ultimately wants his darling to be safe as well.

🦈🍡No matter who’s darling you were first, both of them will have a hard time accepting it. If you would be Itachi’s darling, the Uchiha would be silently enraged and extremely tense, knowing that Kisame tends to be a bit more sadistic and he doesn’t want his darling hurt. Kisame would be much more furious on the outside than Itachi and might just start picking a fight with the Uchiha. In a bad case scenario he might also turn his ire out on you.

🦈🍡You’re somewhat stuck in a very unpleasant situation with two highly dangerous men. No one of them is willing to share for quite some time, making it hard for you to deal with those two. They suddenly don’t get semi-peacefully along as they used to do. Itachi is just worried for you, especially when seeing how Kisame downright terrifies you and even hurts you and Kisame feels deep down scared that you will end up preferring Itachi since he’s the “better” guy in here.

🦈🍡But at one point the both of them will feel a bit exhausted from this constant game of who gets you for himself. Not only that, but both of them are also aware of the toll this can have on you. Itachi would be most likely the one who would consider this choice at first and at one point being the idea up, sounding somewhat bitter, but it’s best to do. He doesn’t want to put any more trauma on you than both of them already have and tearing each other apart doesn’t seem like a good thing to do. Kisame would be more dubious about this, but if the darling starts carefully trying to convince him, he might agree.

🦈🍡Despite a rather hard and more tense and hostile atmosphere I feel like after Konan and Pein they would make the best duo in the Akatsuki. Because they actually respect each other and might just see each other as something akin to friends. They’re pretty compatible and work rather good together. There are of course certain things along the road that are rather bumpy, one of them being Kisame’s sadism and insecurities. He just likes scaring and hurting his darling and now that the handsome and gentle Uchiha came into the picture, there is this fear of him that you’ll end up abandoning him for Itachi. And at first he doesn’t really know how to act and talk with you about it and ends up terrifying you, in a twisted desperate way.

🦈🍡And Itachi will catch onto this, he is not dumb. He understands where Kisame is coming from in a very small way, but is also against the idea of the man hurting and scaring you to get what he wants. He acts always cold when he sees it, but would also like to avoid a fight, especially in front of you since there’s the danger you might get hurt. The problem is most likely that Kisame and you don’t communicate with each other. Him because he doesn’t know how to express his emotions properly and you because you’re too frightened. It forces Itachi into a position where he has to play the bridge maker in order to solve the problem.

🦈🍡Kisame is the more cruel one, but also the more love-starved guy which can be used to turn the tables around a bit. Because once his darling starts giving him affection and love, he will turn softer and his soft spot can be carefully, but steadily, be explored and used. It’s what Itachi knows as well and he tries to make Kisame and you understand the problem of the other.

🦈🍡I feel like no matter how much both of them may try to keep you a secret from the Akatsuki, one day someone will find out due to the rumors flying around. There might be certain people who would be curious about the darling which will end in Kisame being far more aggressive than Itachi, who has to hold the man back. They don’t trust the Akatsuki members with you which is why they won’t let you meet them unless a certain situation happens. Pain most likely doesn’t care as long as the teamwork and the missions aren’t affected or else you’ll have to disappear.

🍡🦈In general both of them make sure that you won’t get in danger, especially since people might at one point know that you’re really important for both of them which makes people want to hunt you down, either for the money or to get revenge. Kisame and Itachi are aware of this and since missions of them can sometimes take really long, they will feel not safe to let you all alone when knowing a mission can last a few weeks. Sure, they keep you in an isolated and safe place, but your safety isn’t guaranteed despite all of that. Bad thing is that if someone would find you and you wouldn’t be able to escape, they won’t be there for your rescue.

🦈🍡It leads them after a lot of thinking and discussing to taking you with them as soon as they expect a certain time limit will be crossed over in a mission. They would of course search for a more safe place for you to stay whilst they do what they have to do.

🦈🍡They’re definitely an overprotective duo to have and Kisame is a naturally more violent person than Itachi is which is why more people die on his account than on Itachi’s. Whilst Itachi reasons a bit with people, Kisame doesn’t and just slaughters someone as soon as he’s pissed off which happens rather fast and he’s brutal with it as well. Itachi has to be provoked enough, but as soon as he’s triggered he becomes rather vicious with his enemies as well.

🦈🍡And hurting the darling is something that sets most Yandere off, these two are no exception. Whilst both of them will be ireful, the way they do is different. Kisame is more impulsive and just sees straight red when witnessing such a thing, it leads him to breaking out in a killer mode which is the worst thing someone can do. Itachi is more of a cold madness type and is still able to think more clearly than Kisame is who will go on a rampage. Feel like Itachi would focus more on getting you out of the place and attend to your wounds whilst letting Kisame unleash his full wrath.

🦈🍡Small injuries aren’t enough to make them go into full panic mode, though Kisame and Itachi will still let their ire out on who did it. But if it’s something serious that might just endanger your life, both of them become a bit paranoid.

🦈🍡Feel like the darling might actually be another member of the Akatsuki and will end up as an additional member in their team which would both of them fall for them around the same time since spending so much time with the s/o. In this case things would turn out a bit differently since being an Akatsuki member implies that you can take care of yourself just fine and both of them would end up respecting your powers. Kisame would still be at the beginning more sadistic and rude, maybe because you can and will put up a fight, but Itachi will eventually end up reasoning with him and you helping him doing so would definitely help.

🦈🍡In that scenario there is a higher risk of you getting hurt since you’re always accompanying them on highly dangerous missions and take part in them as well. It’s not like they don’t worry, but in the end both of them would end up being sane enough to know you’re strong, though Kisame might be a bit more on edge. The least they might do is training with you in which especially Itachi would make sure to point out your weak spots and what you could work on to become a good all-rounder.

🦈🍡If you should get seriously hurt in that case, they would become afterwards a bit more reluctant to let you fight directly in battles, Kisame more than Itachi, and it might lead them to temporarily forbidding you to go on missions, at least until you’re fully recovered again.

🦈🍡So both of them make actually quite the good combo together and Kisame will become a better Yandere to deal with due to Itachi’s help to reason with him. It’s most likely due to the fact that they don’t hate or don’t care about each other like some of the other members. They have something like friendship and respect each other. Feel like Kisame might end up letting Itachi make a lot of decisions since he respects his wise and intelligent personality and knows that Itachi tends to think in a long shot term.

#yandere naruto #yandere naruto shippuden #yandere kisame #yandere kisame hoshigaki #yandere itachi #yandere itachi uchiha

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lynkhart · 3 years

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MAJOR spoilers for the C2 finale of Critical Role so read at your own risk of you haven’t caught up!

I have so many feelings regarding Caleb and Essek’s intertwining character arcs I needed to explore, so strap in folks, you’re in for a bit of a ride! (But seriously though, this is like 4000 words long, I basically wrote an essay 😂)

At the start of the campaign, Caleb Widogast was dripping in guilt and self loathing and refused to believe he could ever absolve himself of his sins. Essek Thelyss was a cold, aloof individual who betrayed his people for selfish goals, and their differing yet mirrored narratives have been an absolute delight to watch unfold.

In the beginning Caleb truly hated himself. He shot down any attempt at a compliment, described himself as a ‘disgusting person’, outright rejected the idea that he was worthy of love, and never let the blame shift from him for what he’d done. When Beauregard and Veth/Nott pointed out that he was coerced and manipulated into killing his parents, he reacts in an incredibly visceral way, and I’ve seen several comments likening it to a victim of child abuse who was groomed into believing they were as responsible as their abuser, and I think that’s exactly how it was meant to be read. He doesn’t see himself as a victim, only a murderer, and punishes himself for it every day. We see this in the way he presents himself, dirty and unkempt because in his mind he doesn’t deserve to feel good about himself in any way. Other than Nott/Veth and Beau to a certain degree, he purposefully isolates himself from the rest of the group and it’s a long time until he feels relaxed enough in their company to drop his defences a little.

(Speaking from a purely meta point of view, Liam did an absolutely phenomenal job of showing this through body language and I’d love to see someone do a compilation video of it. He starts off very hunched and guarded, leaning his body away from the closest person to him and avoiding eye contact and physical touch; but by the end stands tall and sure of himself.)

Early on there were a few moments where he had the option to do some pretty dark shit, and I’m sure there’s a possible timeline where he gave into his desire for revenge and really lost his way, but I’m glad he stuck it out and worked through his trauma in the way he did. His PTSD and disassociation when casting with fire was tragic, but over time he was able to work through it thanks to the constant love and support of his friends who kept him from going off at the deep end.

Molly’s death was the catalyst for change in a lot of the party, and Caleb is no exception. On the verge of leaving the group prior to his death, the grief they shared, combined with their frantic attempt to rescue the other half of their party put things in perspective and gradually he learned how to be a person again, to care.

Altering time to save his family had been Caleb’s only goal in life, and so when Essek and by extension, dunamancy was introduced, you could see his eyes light up at the possibilities.

A huge turning point for him is aligned so closely with Essek’s redemption arc which feels quite apt I think. When Essek confesses to his crimes, Caleb delivers a beautifully iconic piece of dialogue where he acknowledges their similarities and how much he himself has changed as a person since meeting the Mighty Nein. (Source - CR wiki)

‘You listen to me. I know what you are talking about. I know. And the difference between you and I is thinner than a razor. I know what it means to have other people complicate your desires and wishes. And I was like you. Was. I know what a fool I have been for years. You didn't account for us. Good. That is life. Shit hits you sideways in life and no one is prepared. No one is ready. These people changed me. These people can change you. You were not born with venom in your veins. You learned it. You learned it. You have a rare opportunity here, Thelyss. One chance to save yourself, and we are offering it.’

This is not the same Caleb we met back in the Nestled Nook inn way back in the first episode. While not yet fulfilled or entirely convinced of his own worth, he knows he’s on the right path. That alone is progress enough, but that he uses his own experiences to help another escape those same chains of guilt says such a lot for his development. When he tells Essek that his ‘venom’ was learned, he’s also talking about himself and his own history of being manipulated and gaslit, with the implication being that it can be un-learned just as efficiently.

Caleb Widogast is selfish no more, or at the very least, doesn’t let his goals undermine anyone else’s anymore. Contrary to what he himself might still think, he is in no way a bad person. He loves fiercely and cannot abide seeing those he cares about in pain.

Early game Essek is what Caleb could have been if he’d rejected his friends and focused solely on his own selfish goal to undo his mistakes. Both are impassive at first and see the Mighty Nein as means to an end...until they get to know them and then their fate is sealed. The Power of Friendship wins once again!

At the beginning Caleb said he wanted to ‘bend reality to my will’ (sic) and in the end he does just that, though not in the way he originally intended. Destroying the T-Dock, and by extension the one thing he’d been building towards from the start, the chance to go back and change time, for me personally was the absolute peak of his journey. I rewatched the scene where Caleb revealed the truth about his parents death today, and it was really jarring to see just how far he’d come since then. It made me oddly proud actually.

I always felt like his plan to save his parents was the one thing holding him back from truly accepting their deaths, which is why the final scene of him in the cemetery with the letters for them hit so hard. He never truly gave up hope that they’d be reunited, but ultimately he realised he was merely postponing the inevitable and never allowing himself to live his own life. While time travel shenanigans would have been incredibly interesting to explore in game, choosing to let the past lie and not go back for them finally allows him to grieve and move on, and perhaps most importantly of all, to forgive himself at last.

I know some people were annoyed by Caleb’s decision in the finale to spend the rest of his life teaching rather than continuing to adventure, but I see it as the natural conclusion to his whole arc and his own personal victory.

He looked Trent Ikithon in the eyes, a man who he’d spent years wanting to kill and run from in equal measure, stripped him of his power and his voice (and ultimately his ability to harm anyone else) and finally spared his life so he had to live with the indignity of his defeat for the rest of his miserable existence. You couldn’t have asked for a more damning rejection of everything he’d been brainwashed into believing as a child. His dismissal of Trent’s position in the Assembly played into that as well. He never really wanted power for the sake of it; he had no desire for politics, he just wanted his family back, and while he didn’t get the one he started with, he made a new one for himself in the end.

As Caduceus once very wisely said:

‘Pain doesn’t make people; it's love that makes people. The pain is inconsequential; it's love that saves them.’

Caleb gets to break the cycle of abuse and teach a new generation of mages the way he should have been, with kindness and respect, and I’m pretty sure he’d have introduced a handsome drow as a guest lecturer from time to time. 😉

Speaking of...

Essek described himself as selfish and as a coward, forever putting his own wants and desires first, yet over the course of his journey with the Nein we see his priorities change drastically.

Having friends gives him people to care about, something he’s never had before, and it changes his outlook on life completely. For me, the first time we really see this is when he joins them for dinner in the Xorhaus and stops levitating. It’s a subtle thing, but meaningful. He explains that it had become an expectation of him, a quirk he’s known for, and so to feel comfortable enough around the Nein to drop that pretence is quite bold I think.

Much later, when he chooses to destroy the mini beacon they discover in Aeor in order to give everyone a long rest before the final confrontation with Lucian, he’s essentially giving up everything he betrayed his people for, just to keep his friends safe. The existence and context of that single artefact could have had an earthshattering impact on the Dynasty’s entire culture, forcing them to reevaluate their entire belief system and attitude to the Luxon, something he’d wanted from the start, something he helped start a war for, but he offered it up as a sacrifice without a second thought.

I’d say that’s a pretty big morality shift, and I’m super interested to see if Matt reveals if his alignment changed in the post campaign Q&A. I have a feeling he set him up as a potential BBEG but the party was like ‘no, you can’t have him, he’s ours now’ and that was the end of that. 😂

I think it says so much about the other characters too, that they befriended this person they barely knew, and when he was revealed to have done such terrible things, their first reaction was to give him comfort and an opportunity to atone. Jester held his hand while he confessed, and afterwards, while they didn’t immediately forgive him, they saw the good in him and wanted him to be better, which ultimately feels like what the entire campaign was about, leaving places (and people) better than they found them. It’s obvious that he’s never really had many friends before and has therefore never had the opportunity to be emotionally open with anyone, so seeing him gradually warm up to the Nein and allow himself to soften around them was really lovely to watch.

(Obviously, from a realistic moral perspective, he still fucked up big time. He’s still a godsdamned war criminal and really should have been put on trial for what he did, but I think from a narrative and personal point of view, his redemption arc was far more satisfying, so I’m glad it happened the way it did. (And not to derail but the rest of the gang have done some pretty horrific stuff as well, though perhaps not quite on the same scale)

He has a few moments towards the end that I absolutely love because they show that beneath the guilt and anguish, there’s an incredibly sweet and sensitive soul in there, just wanting acceptance. His dry jokes which often don’t quite hit, (the ‘I will punish the bakery’ line is such an under-appreciated one 😂) his simple joy at learning to garden in the Blooming Grove, and realising that he’d never been asked what his favourite food was before was actually kind of heartbreaking, because it highlighted how lonely his life must have been until that time. There was a moment pretty early on I think when he cast disguise on the party and Jester asked if he could cast it again to change the look of her outfit a bit and while he seemed to find it amusing, he refused, not wanting to waste a spell on such a frivolous request. Cut to their time in Aeor where he burns a fly spell just so he and Caleb can flirtatiously swoop around each other for a couple of minutes, all the while trying to beat Lucian to the city.

His breakdown when Molly’s resurrection failed really cemented to me how much he’d grown as a character. He never met Molly, his only knowledge of him was secondhand, through the eyes of his friends, but seeing it fail just broke him because he knew how much it hurt them to go through it all over again.

His comment to Caleb about not admitting defeat and wishing he could do more did get me wondering at the time if he was going to try and do something crazy, perhaps sacrificing himself via the Temporal Dock to make amends or somehow forcing another reroll, but I’m glad he didn’t. The conversation following that with Fjord was one of my favourites- he shows him acceptance and belief in his potential for the future, something he’s lacked for a long time, and when Caleb bluntly affirms afterwards that he is indeed an official member of the Mighty Nein, it’s the start of the rest of his life, and something he’s exceptionally grateful for.

It all leads to that final moment in Aeor with Caleb, when, presented with the opportunity to alter time and undo everything, he chooses to accept his decisions and carry the weight of his sins for the rest of his long life. That’s...huge.

He’s essentially choosing to live the rest of his existence as a fugitive, forever on the run, with no guaranteed peace or safety. He chooses to spend his life making up for his deeds, rather than looking for an easy way out.

I think that may have had a big impact on why Caleb ultimately made the same decision, as if Essek had been up for altering his timeline I think he’d have struggled to resist it himself. The conversation they had earlier in Aeor about their priorities and resisting temptation really comes to mind as well.

Now, to the relationship.

It was subtle, and not as ‘in your face’ obvious as the other characters, but I’ve been watching and hoping for a long time and I must say, it feels good to be vindicated.

(And if you have any doubt, both Matt and Liam confirmed on Twitter that their post finale relationship was 100% romantic)

I’d been hoping that Shadowgast would be a canon endgame relationship for a while, so the finale, and the aforementioned T-Dock scene in particular had me quite literally shaking with emotion as I watched live. Here you have two men, both damaged and guilt-stricken in their own ways, who find in each other a kindred spirit and a path to redemption.

They’re both very guarded and closed off people, but Essek in particular has a definite shift in the last arc of the campaign especially when it came to his interactions with Caleb. At the start he was quite aloof and stoic, though charming, and they had an instant connection through their shared love of the arcane, (anyone who couldn’t see them making heart eyes at each other when Essek was describing the different types of magic he could teach Caleb was clearly blind) but by the end he was incredibly open to showing his vulnerabilities and that takes a lot, especially for someone whose primary focus was to stay in control of every aspect of his life. The ‘Caleb, I’m scared’ moment during the Trent fight in particular made my heart ache.

No, we didn’t get a dramatic declaration of love or a cinematic mid-battle kiss, but I’d argue that their relationship was just as, if not more intimate than any of the other main characters were. They understood each other in a way the others didn’t, their shared guilt, feelings of inadequacy and their obsession with magic forged a deep connection from the get-go. Neither of them are big fans of PDA I think, though Caleb is tactile as hell (forehead touches and kisses, oh man, I’m so weak for those 😩👌) and some of their most iconic moments have them putting themselves in harm’s way to protect the other. Essek shaking off his forced guilt trip immediately after the now infamous forehead touch in ep140 was beautifully poetic, as was using his fortune’s favour to pull Caleb out of the rubble moments before. Caleb trying to include him in his Sphere of Invulnerability in the finale and Essek staying close to him the whole fight despite being obviously terrified of Trent was the icing on the cake. It’s clear that they care for each other a great deal; whether by the finale they’d consider it love is up for debate, but we know that’s eventually where it ended up and honestly, I love that. I deeply appreciated the fact Matt and Liam both emphasised that they took their time with their relationship, letting each other heal in their own way before they took the next step. All too often in media, and real life too sadly, a romantic relationship is seen as some kind of quick fix, and that a lover will somehow complete you or make all your problems vanish. They knew this wasn’t the case here, and that made it all the better.

While I would have *loved* to have seen them together as a couple right to the very end, the change in their relationship felt right, if bittersweet. I doubt they ever stopped loving each other, and if anything, choosing to shift to a deep and lifelong friendship over a romance that would cause them both so much pain is one of the kindest things you could do for someone you love. After all, friendship isn’t a downgrade, just another way of experiencing that same love, and it wasn’t as though they broke up and never saw each other again, it was pretty strongly implied that they remained a major feature in each other’s lives, they just changed their label slightly. Caleb would hate to have forced Essek to watch him wither away, and although his eventual passing would hurt Essek regardless, incompatible lifespans being what they are, having a period of time to adjust to it, to give them a buffer between the inevitable heartbreak was actually really sweet.

Their romance was no accident, they knew going in that it had a time limit, that it wasn’t going to be forever for one of them, and the fact they did it anyway says so much. They began their adventure wholeheartedly believing that they were both, in their own way incapable of love, only to later find it with each other. Whether their relationship lasted for a couple of years or multiple decades is irrelevant, what matters is that while it did they had a happy and fulfilled life together.

I know some folk wanted Caleb to use the transmogrification spell on himself so he could live on with Essek as another elf, or make him human instead, but that would have been way out of character for both I think. If they could have backwards engineered one of the rejuvenation stations in Aeor and used it to extend Caleb’s life by a hundred years or so, so he’d have a similar lifespan to Veth, now, I could have seen him possibly doing that, so he could spend more time with his best friend too, but nothing further I think. He longed to be reunited with his parents too much to postpone death unnaturally like that.

That both Caleb and Essek ultimately chose to live with their mistakes and make peace with themselves was incredibly cathartic, and I couldn’t imagine it playing out any better.

The fact Matt has explicitly stated Essek is Demi too means so much to me personally because the latter is a label I’ve been identifying with a lot recently, and it’s so rare for aspec relationships to get any representation! It has honestly given me a lot to think about over the last few days, and I really appreciate it.

To conclude, here’s a bit of shameless self promotion. I wrote this after watching the finale and honestly feel like it sums up my feelings on the nature of their relationship pretty well.

‘A casual hand on a shoulder, a waist, a wrist; a gentle kiss placed on a forehead is common between them now, an intimacy born of trust and mutual affection. Over time it grows, like a fire born of seasoned timber; gradual and steady, no spluttering kindling that flares and sparks, but a slow burn, one which lasts.

Their love is embroidered into every aspect of their lives together. Acts of service, of comfort, of understanding.

Sometimes a kiss leads to more than a kiss, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way they are content.‘

So yeah, I love these two wizard boys so very much and I couldn’t be happier with the conclusion of their stories. ❤️

#Critical Role #Critical Role Spoilers #CR Spoilers #shadowgast #Essek thelyss #Caleb Widogast #C2ep141 #C2ep141 spoilers #critical role finale

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thedreadvampy · 3 years

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Like this is something I've been thinking about for a while but I think just in a broad cultural sense we have a real issue with differentiating between empathy/sympathy and forgiveness and it's getting worse.

You can feel for somebody and understand their reasons without condoning their actions

You can hold somebody accountable for their actions without ignoring or diminishing their pain

Like not to be like ~ooh callout culture~ but I do think that an assumption allying a lot of modern callouts, for example, is that whoever has the most pain is the victim, with no responsibility for pain caused, and to hold someone accountable for pain caused you also have to imply they're lying or exaggerating their own pain

ok like the latest Contrapoints video. She very much continues to say 'TERFery is unforgivably harmful and your actions are responsible for destroying so many lives and you need to stop,' but she also says 'I understand that you experienced abuse and assault for so much of your life and that is awful. I know how easy it is to project your trauma or onto other things even when you've been safe for years. You shouldn't have had to experience that'. And a decent subset of Twitter was like Contrapoints Is A JKR Apologist but like...whatever you think of her in general, this was sympathy not apologetics. She never excuses JK Rowling's actions, she regularly says that JK's trauma doesn't excuse or justify her actions and that JK needs to change, all she's doing is recognising that JK Rowling is in pain as well as causing pain.

And a lot of people seem to really struggle with that dissonance

Like every time a character in The Magnus Archives evidences real-world-type evil - causing harm in ways that we recognise from our own lives, whether that's voting Conservative or having the type of entitlement that causes you to override other people and generally just be miserable to be around, there's this regularly repeated argument that comes up, the crux of which seems to be 'this character isn't sympathetic they're a bastard!' 'this character was traumatised! how can you say they're a bastard!' and it's like

calling them a bastard doesn't preclude sympathy for their pain. that's really to my mind why effective tragedy works. we empathise with and feel for the character's pain and understand their desire to win or to lash out or to seek power, but we also recognise that they have to fall and they have to fail because they continue to hurt people and not take responsibility for that

these are petty extremely-online drama but the underlying assumption, that to feel sympathy you must be letting someone off the hook, is really really really pervasive and really damaging

there's a couple of reasons this ability to hold at once that someone is hurting and that they are hurtng others is vital in the real world imo

1) treating empathy and accountability as the same thing serves abuse. I was talking to someone I love last night about how both of us, and a lot of mutual friends, have had a very similar experience with abusive relationships, where whenever we try to push back on poor treatment we're silenced, or we silence ourselves, with the reminder that they're suffering. They've had such a hard life. They're coping with trauma. At the extreme end, he mentioned a mutual friend who had a relationship with a genocide survivor who was vastly physically and psychologically abusive, but who they didn't feel able to be angry at or say anything about because of course they could understand and sympathise with how much pain he was in, and of course how could this small pain of being constantly violently abused mean anything against the trauma of experiencing a genocide? but from outside it's obvious that being a survivor of something unspeakably traumatic doesn't make it ok for you to do horrifically abusive things.

and like. this is a fairly extreme case. but I worry because every single abuse survivor I know has a story about how much pain their abuser was in. and sometimes it's stuff like the above and sometimes it's stuff like "it was really hard for me growing up without a dad" or "I grew up autistic" or "I'm depressed and tired all the time" or "I'm sick" but the underlying message is 'you can't hold me accountable, you have to sympathise with me'. and empathy without accountability only leaves room for empathy for them, not for you. you aren't allowed to be hurt or angry about what they did to you if you acknowledge that they're hurt and angry.

but that's not true, is it? They don't have to be lying or exaggerating their pain to have hurt you. A lot of people have been through some truly heinous shit but they are still responsible for their actions. but with almost any abusive relationship trauma becomes a tool for manipulation. if you say 'you hurt me' then they say 'why are you acting like my pain isn't real? I've been hurt! stop invalidating my pain!' and it's like yeah. you have. AND you hurt me. maybe I hurt you too, and I'm responsible for that. but it doesn't mean you didn't hurt me or that I'm not allowed to be in pain or angry that you hurt me.

2) without it we can't have justice. Justice means justice for everyone. true justice is transformative, community led and empathetic, because punishment probably doesn't stop crime. you know. 'happy people don't commit murder. they just don't' and it's important to recognise that people do things for a reason if we want to actually reduce harm rather than take revenge. but it's also important to recognise that their reason being understandable doesn't undo the harm they've caused or reduce their responsibility. if I burgle a house because I'm desperate to pay my rent and feed my family, my actions are understandable, but the person whose house got broken into is still traumatised and still had their stuff broken and stolen. Empathy for both of us is vital, so is accountability. I should be held responsible for their trauma and their loss that I caused, but the best way to prevent this happening again is to a) understand that I'm scared and hurting and b) change the material conditions that cause those feelings for me and others. And this unfortunately also applies to people who do much more unforgivable things. We don't and shouldn't have to forgive them, but it isn't forgiving them or letting them off the hook to say 'i understand why you're angry. I understand that you want to be the one doing the hurting. But it's not acceptable that you did this and you can't go on as if everything's fine. We will not let you continue to do harm.' because like. Pain Is Real. Everyone has traumas that shape them and a lot of them are deeply understandable. but. just because their pain is real doesn't mean their victims' pain isn't. there needs to be space for both.

this is what is meant by 'an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.' unacknowledged trauma begets trauma.

#big long ramble sorry #but i think this might be The Most Important Thing. to understand that compassion and accountability aren't mutually exclusive #abuse mention

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silcorynard · 2 years

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4BLE

“… fourteen hours of work and I was only paid for four.” The woman is incensed, waving a fistful pay stubs and time sheets. There is a rumble of discontented empathy from many of the miners in the room. A couple of eager children sitting with her start excitedly egging her own, wanting the story to be told faster, to get to the good bits. “But when I went to the foreman…”

Silco hears the door behind him opening, and glances over as a shadow fills the space beside him. A young man with broad shoulders and messy bangs bobs his head apologetically, but his sharp grey eyes scan the crowd as he unwraps his scarf and loosens the buttons of his coat.

Silco nods back, feeling a smile rise rise across his face without effort. He nudges the young man with his shoulder, for the crime of being late; the young man nudges him in return, playfully.

But then they both go still. They are listening, focused, on the miner who currently has the floor. There are some cheers and growls from the audience as she describes her bold decision and the punishment that followed, and the persistence that has brought her here to this night. She is one of them, and angry, and she knows her own worth.

Everyone in this room is here because they know their worth. Not as numbers on a pay sheet or a death payout, but real people that have been abused in the dark for too long. There are at least a hundred of them, crowded in this dim basement, smoking and drinking and airing their grievances.

Silco’s gaze travels over the faces, to where a few of the mine foremen sit in this crowded place. He had not expected those who lived comfortably to discover a conscience, but it was a pleasant surprise. Perhaps they’re only here because they fear ‘industrial accident’, - a term that has become a euphemism for ‘revenge’ in the mines - but they have had their turn to speak, to talk of their fears, of the hold the Company has on them. They may be paid more, but they are no less in a stranglehold. There are some good foremen, if they are willing to speak up and act on the miners’ behalf, if they are willing to endure suspicion from those below them, if they are willing to join the same fight.

In four months, the mine has become a very different place. It is still dark. The work is still hard. But the deaths of miners are fewer. It is a good start.

Silco is itching for what comes next.

More miners take their turn, saying their peace, being heard by their comrades as they speak of injustices and cruelties. The same stories told in different ways, the habits of the foremen and mine bosses and the Company laid bare for all to see. Some just want to speak and be heard, which is dangerous enough. But some want more, cultivating the same rumbling discontent and fire within them that Silco knows intimately. It’s these folks who are building something stronger. The number of those who are too discontent merely to complain grows daily.

Eventually, Silco will stand. He will make a point of thanking all the speakers and greeting the new visitors by name, before he calls the meeting to a close. There is work to do tomorrow, more shifts down in the mine, but they will continue to hold those in power accountable. He calls for watchfulness for corrupt behaviour, and to never let anyone be left on their own when pressure is exerted by the foremen or the bosses.

“We are stronger together,” he says. “Do not forget that. They will try to break up these meetings, try to split up work crews, try to silence us. Our dissent is bad for business.” He gives a thin smile as some scattered chuckles rouse through the room. “But we know what we are worth, and that we should be treated with greater respect.”

There is no call for violence. Violence should only be a last resort, a lesson learned through the months of their growing numbers. Punishments could be more frequent than the Company capitulations. So, no violence. Only unity, a line that must be recognised by those who look down from above.

Casual conversation becomes to warm the room. Families prepare to take their children home, while others linger for the tea and coffee, or come to Silco to hastily discuss concerns about Company interference or foremen who have abused their last chances to amend their ways. Silco listens, and nods, and gives each speaker his undivided attention. But he is mindful of the presence of the messy-haired youth, the one from the pawn shop, leaning against the wall and waiting for him in the background.

He’s watching Silco, and smiling faintly, with Silco’s coat in the crook of his arm. He’s a patient man, and this is important. He waits, and Silco is grateful.

It is late before they make their way out, and even the scarves and coats can’t quite keep out the winter chill. Silco fishes in his pocket for a cigarette, and the other for his lighter, needing something in his chest that wasn’t the cold. After all his life in the mines, it feels like there is a crust formed on the inside of his lungs, a crust that lets him breathe in the gas-tinged air of the underground but that cracks and burns when the cold air touched it. He can’t afford the implants - the eso-filters that so many could - so cigarettes will have to do. They’re cheaply bought with Company credits; it’s rare to find a miner who doesn’t have the same crusted feeling in their lungs from the gas and bad air.

“Sorry ‘bout bein’ late,” the messy-haired youth says, as they walk together. “Didn’t miss too much, did I?”

Silco allows himself a faint smile, the cigarette tip glowing like an ember as he inhales the healing smoke. “You’re usually so punctual, Vander. What happened?”

“Oh, you know…” Vander grins. “I just happened to pass a couple of Company boys while they were off to dinner.”

Silco feels a spike of alertness, unease. “How do you know they were Company?”

“I heard them mention the address.” Vander brings grease-strained hands out of his pockets, revealing a collection of spark plugs and engine wiring caught in his fingers and dangling over his broad palms. “Decided to have a look at their fancy cars before they came to visit.”

Silco exhales a plume of smoke, pleased at Vander’s initiative, but now thinking ahead in pensive concern. If the address of their meeting place had been known, that means they would need to find a new one. Good news and bad news, that was always the way, but it was important to keep one step ahead of the Company’s attempts to shut down the miners’ growing collective.

“You didn’t miss much,” Silco says, watching as Vander pockets the car parts. “It was the same story, told in a different way.”

“True,” Vander says, wiping his hands on an already-well-greased handkerchief, “But every story’s important, right?”

“Right.” Silco smiles approvingly. “You’ve been paying attention.”

“I always pay attention,” Vander grumbles, good-naturedly. “How long have you known me?”

“Long enough that I shouldn’t need to praise you,” Silco muses.

The messy-haired youth sputters. “Now, hold on.”

Silco laughs. It’s a ragged sound, but it’s a sound he can make, now. He didn’t think he could, but when it comes to the pawnshop boy, anything seems possible. Anything is possible.

Vander grins back, then exhales a breath visible in the chill air and folds his arms. “Snowdown’s almost here,” he notes, glancing up at the hazy sky.

Sometimes snow would fall over Zaun, grey and gritty from soot. But more often, it was dense grey sleet and dense mists and freezing winds, with frozen pipes and howling wind and lingering chill that walls couldn’t keep out. Snowdown was a time to huddle together with family, and think of better things.

Silco takes another drag on his cigarette. Just walking, for now.

Vander fills the silence, as he so often does. An observation of the weather becomes an observation of the weather as it pertains to Silco. “You gonna need another coat?”

Silco gestures to the one he’s wearing, and the scarf besides, both of them courtesy of Vander and the Last Chance. “This is more than enough, thank you.” A brief glance upwards, and a bare quirk of a wry smile. “You do spend a lot of time fretting about me.”

“Well, someone’s gonna keep an eye out for you.” He nudges Silco with his arm. “You keep forgettin’ to look after yourself.”

Silco, chuckling, nudges back. “Insurrection won’t raise itself. But I’ll be fine.”

“Oh, Silco.” Vander heaves a sigh, still smiling. He nudges Silco again.

Silco answers, with a little more force. And somehow it becomes a battle, two young men shoving and jabbing playfully at each other as they weave their way through the chilly streets of Zaun, never quite enough to bruise or unbalance. They’ve done this before, countless times, on countless walks, these past few months.

They ease up on this game. as they reach the river road. This is where their paths diverge, where Silco will follow the road uphill, back towards the mines, and Vander will go downstream, to the pawnshop and his home. Neither of them speak, as they go to lean on the graffiti-covered wall and look down into the listlessly-flowing canal. It’s a ritual, to linger here for a while longer, to smoke in the dark before going home. Silco lights another cigarette; Vander fishes out a pipe and a tin of dried tobacco.

“These are easier,” Silco tells Vander, waving the cigarette demonstratively.

Vander gives a rough bark of a laugh as he packs the leaves into his pipe. “Dad’d have a fit if I chose ‘easier’ over ‘the old ways’.” He puts away the tin and rubs his thumb over the pipe’s bowl, pressing down any loose leaves.

There were so many who came to Zaun with their traditions and rites and ways of living. Silco couldn’t begrudge those who had something to hold on to; Zaun could wear down so much, but its people could be stubborn. As well they should be. Zaun wouldn’t be the same without them.

Silco is starting to remember what it feels like to have something of his own to hold.

Vander braces an arm on the canal wall, leaning forward and down towards Silco. Silco puts the cigarette into his mouth and leans in, inhaling so the glowing ember of the cigarette touches and ignites the pressed tobacco. Silence, and focus, just the two of them breathing, watching the embers, until pipe and cigarette smoke rise together.

It is cold out. Neither of them ease back from each other, as they lean against the wall, watching the river, the city, and all of Zaun, exhaling their warm smoky breaths into the evening air. The wind isn’t as biting, with Vander blocking most of it.

The canal is an ugly thing. The river is choked, this time of year, with debris and residue, and the water crawls rather than flows. The water level won’t rise until the spring, when the rains and melt flush through the walled channel, turning the grey fluids a cleaner brown. For now, it’s chest-high mud and debris and chemical foam, and is a broad artery right down the middle of Zaun.

But on the other side of the river, across the canal walls, there’s more of the city, more of Zaun’s districts. There are wide stretches of warehouse and workshop, the slope of hills cut with roads, the towers string with cables and platforms and blinking lights. In the distance, almost lost to the darkness of night, are the mountains and cliffs that shield Zaun from the sea, a dark wall except the scar that opens out to the eastern port. This ugly river they’re looking at reaches all the way to the sea, eastward, as well as clawing northward into the heart of the Zaun city. Silco has seen the view over the southern mountains. Maybe, one day, he’ll see the eastern sea.

He looks up at Vander. Vander is also looking down the eastern view, his eyes distant and thoughtful. He must be thinking about the sea, as well; he’s an open book, and Silco knows him well.

And, sure enough, Vander murmurs, “You ever think about taking some time off?”

Silco smiles to himself. “Time off?”

“Yeah. We could take a trip down to the coast.”

“To the coast?”

“Get some sun,” Vander is smiling, now, lost in his thoughts. “See the water. Real water, not…” One palm lifts from the stone, gesturing to the canal in front of them.

“Real water,” Silco murmurs, flicking ash from his cigarette. “Real sunlight.”

“Yeah.” Vander nods, exhaling smoke through his nose. “Could be nice.” He takes the pipe from his mouth for a moment, thinking. “We should go.”

“Together?”

“Together.” He nods, and looks down at Silco.

Silco finds himself smiling. “Doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll think about it.”

Vander smiles back. “Yeah?”

“Maybe when it’s warmer, though.” Silco shivers, and looks back to the view, bringing his cigarette to his lips. “Cold as balls out here.”

Vander snorts a laugh. “Cold as Janna’s tits.”

Time off. Silco thinks, looking at the distant dark shapes of the broken barrier, past the haze and the city lights, where you might even be able to see the sky. Time off, and someone to go with, and then a home and a job to come back to. Vander makes the impossible sound so easy, so within reach. Maybe it isn’t impossible.

He breathes in his cigarette, and the smell of Vander’s tobacco, and he thinks about sunlight and the sea. “Cold as a w—”

He stops. He feels warmth spill across his skin, from that spot behind his ear, electrifying down his neck and arms and across his chest, around the gas-burned lungs and to the heart that quickens, unexpectedly, and then down to his toes. It happens in an instant, lightning-fast. A little jolt, all from a brief touch.

He looks up, his hand going to touch that spot on his neck, the gap between his hair and his scarf that had apparently been too much of a temptation for the messy-haired youth. Vander grins, somewhere between proud and sheepish, unrepentant but prepared to apologise if necessary. Breathless, teetering, hopeful.

Silco blinks, and blinks again, but the spot behind his neck continues to burn, touched by tobacco and stubble and the press of Vander’s lips. Even under his fingertips, the sensation doesn’t quite subside.

“Almost Snowdown,” Vander says, quietly. He’s blocking the wind. His face is earnest and his voice is low, like he’s sharing a secret.“Too cold to go to the coast, but…”

The hand Silco raised to touch his own neck now reaches up to touch Vander’s, to hook lightly under the youth’s scarf. He pulls, and Vander doesn’t need to apologise. It’s not as cold, today, as it might be. Silco hasn’t felt this warm in a long time, and this warm lingers even when they have to pull apart to breathe.

There’s a heartbeat, as they catch their breath, as they look at each other. They are both thinking about how warm it is. They both are breathless, teetering, hopeful, exhaling smoke and incredulous joy.

“Your hands are cold,” Vander whines, putting his pipe back between his teeth, and holding Silco’s hand between his own. “I’m gettin’ you gloves for Snowdown.”

“I don’t need gloves,” Silco says, amused, feeling oddly buoyant.

“I’m gettin’ you gloves,” Vander says,

The soft growl of his tone makes Silco smile all the wider, feel all the warmer. “You’re getting me gloves, fine.”

Vander grins, holding Silco’s gaze. “Yeah.”

There’s a blare of synchronised klaxon somewhere in the city, as some night-shift begins in factories through the four districts that border this part of the river. It’s late, very late.

Silco sighs, grinds out his cigarette between a graffiti’d pair of names, then flicks the extinguished stub into the river. Vander sighs, releasing Silco’s hand, then taps out his pipe on the edge of the stonework. This is how they’ve always marked out the end of their ritual. Today is so different. Today, neither of them wants to walk away first.

“You got work tomorrow.”

“I do.”

“Will I see you after?”

They haven’t moved apart. They should, but that spot behind Silco’s ear is burning, and Vander’s eyes keep dropping down to Silco’s mouth, and Silco’s eyes keep dropping to Vander’s, and the shadows both do something to their eyes.

“… yes,” Silco says, quietly. “You will.”

Vander’s smile is like the sunlight. It breaks out and warms Silco’s skin. “I’ll save you dinner.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I will, though.”

“Okay,” Silco says, like he has before. Capitulating to Vander’s kindness, over and over again. And now here they are, standing this close, and they haven’t even said goodnight.

His hand raises, touching the spot behind his ear. He makes a small noise in his throat. Vander grins. Silco finds himself grinning back, as much as the gas-paralysis allows.

“Tomorrow,” he says.

“Dinner,” Vander says.

Silco nods. Vander nods. Slowly, they pull apart. Vander goes north along the river. Silco goes south along the river. It’s dark, but they both look back, now and then, to catch a glimpse of the other’s movement under the hazy streetlamps.

The warmth follows Silco all the way back to his apartment, to the hollow rooms and the frozen pipes and the letters slipped under his door. He dreams of the sea, and sunlight, and Vander.

Silco sees the date, the next morning, as he signs in for his mask: his birthday. The fact stays on his mind all through the shift, through the sifting and sorting of ore and the pushing of carts and the smell of grease and dust and sweat, thoughts chasing him through the dark and through the glare of the mining lamps both. His parents should be here, to celebrate with him, to ward off the cold and cheer him with the traditions of his people, a people he has no connection to. The day weighs on him, heavy enough to make it hard to breathe, and he burns through most of his cigarettes on his break.

He feels lost. He wants nothing more than to go home and crawl under the covers and let the exhaustion of the work day sweep him to oblivion.

But he promised Vander he would come over for dinner. It’s simultaneously the last thing Silco wants to do and the only thing Silco can bring himself to do.

He signs out - seeing the date again, no mistakes here - then pulls up the collar of his coat and goes into Zaun proper. It’s a long walk. His body aches. The cold scrapes at his lungs, chills his scalp and his fingertips and his knees. He takes the circuitous route in case the Company has sent someone to follow him, but his heart isn’t in it. He’s thinking about his parents, dead eight years past, and how today seems a mere tombstone on the passage of time.

Above the shopfront of the Last Chance, the windows are warm with light. Silco stands there, and thinks about that warmth, about the spot on his neck where warmth like that slipped under his skin. Silly. Childish. But he wants that warmth. He doesn’t want to be alone. It is a thought so powerful that it almost makes him gasp: he doesn’t want to be alone. He hates the feeling, a feeling that follows him everywhere, even to the meeting of the miners’ collective or to the crowded tunnels and passages with whatever work crew he joins. He feels alone, but he doesn’t want to be.

He’s here for dinner. He takes the side door, and climbs up, and knocks. He realises he has come straight from the mines, that he’s filthy and tired and cold, but as soon as Vander opens the door, it doesn’t matter.

It is warm, in Vander’s home. Vander makes it warmer still. And on the table, with two plates of dinner waiting, is a bottle of alcohol. Silco does gasp, then, choking on something which feels like grief but doesn’t taste quite the same. He knows that bottle. He’d pawned it, months ago, when he first met Vander.

Vander’s eyes slide to the bottle, then back to Silco. Sheepish, but proud. “Saved one of ‘em. Just… just in case, y’know? In case we had something to celebrate? And, um, yesterday…” He falters, finding a silence he wasn’t expecting to fill. “… Silco?”

Silco doesn’t know what to say. His heart is pounding, his throat feels tight. His parents should be here, pouring for him to drink, telling him stories and celebrating this landmark sixteenth birthday. His parents should be here, but they’re not. The bottle is here, and there’s dinner, and the apartment above the Last Chance is warm, and yesterday he was kissed for the first time by the young man who saved this bottle and brought it out tonight. Silco doesn’t know what to say.

Before Vander can think he’s done something wrong, Silco hugs him. Tightly, fiercely, shaking. This isn’t grief, but it feels so similar. It’s mixed up with something more. It’s mixed up with everything. And it’s all because of Vander. How does he do this? How does he make the impossible seem possible? How does he put dreams of sea and sunlight in Silco’s head, and a lump in his throat, and a jolt that leaves him breathless from a single kiss? How does he know the right thing to say and do, every single time? It isn’t fair. Silco has no way of preparing himself for any of it. He’s fallen and he doesn’t care; he’s buoyant, and giddy, and gasping for air in what could be a sob or a laugh, or both, or neither.

Silco hasn’t celebrated his birthday in eight years, but tonight is a good night - and this is a good place, with very good company - to break that habit.

#the miners' son #fox and hound #cigar smoke #neatly printed on letterhead #some time back

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katzkinder · 3 years

Text

I've kind of been thinking about this for a bit, and rereading (again) C3 arc has just cemented it further for me

Servamp has a lot of important messages in it, but one that kind of gets... I don't want to say overlooked, but it does seem to fall by the wayside, even in real life, is forgiveness as an act of self care, rather than an absolution.

What I mean by this is how things like guilt, hate, and regret hold us down and prevent us from thriving as people. The first major example we get of this presents itself in Kuro.

Kuro has been wallowing in his doubts and regrets for two centuries when we meet him. It has exacerbated his depression to the point that not only does he refuse to feed himself, he also refuses to make his own decisions. Only once Mahiru helps him to confront that he made a choice he considers wrong is Kuro able to let go and move forward. He later on thanks Lawless for not forgiving him, because that grudge, the emotional pain he caused someone he loves, is what kept his worries in forefront of his mind and prevented him from rationalizing his decision to the point that he believed his own lie.

Now, C3 arc in particular has not one, not two, but three examples, at the least, of this coming into major play as well.

The most obvious examples are:

Touma

and Shuuhei

Once Touma finally learns to let go of his anger and his hatred towards his parents for the way they abused him, he's able to move forward as a person and do what he needs to to care for the individuals in his life who have loved him, namely Tsurugi. I have a post that’s been sitting in my drafts for over a year now about how Servamp deals with the concept of “breaking the cycle of abuse” that focuses on Touma because of how important the way Strike handles his arc is, because I got distracted and then never went back to it, laughs.

Meanwhile, for Shuuhei, his overwhelming and all consuming desire for revenge nearly cost him the life of not only himself, but also deeply, deeply hurt his best friend. Once he lets it go, he saves not only himself, but Shamrock, Iduna, Freya, and the lives of every single person, human and subclass, inside C3 by leading them through the most efficient routes to safety during the collapse.

The third act of forgiveness as self love can be found in Iduna. Yes she is holding herself accountable for the sins she has committed in creating what she now realizes to be incredibly vile weaponry, but rather than pity herself, she takes the encouragement others offer and moves forward to save people rather than hurt them. She forgives herself for unwittingly pushing Shuuhei to the brink and giving him the tools to become a monster, and in doing so, saves both him and herself, whether that be in a literal or a metaphorical sense.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting

It just means not giving the people who hurt you the power to keep doing that

Even when that person is yourself

#kat's katerwauling #servamp #servamp meta #shuuhei tsuyuki #touma taishi #servamp kuro #iduna nobel

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tiredcath · 4 years

Text

Zukka Fic Recs

after atla came back into pop culture i found myself falling back in love with zukka which resulted in me reading (almost) every zukka fic on ao3 and here are my favorites

Transference by The_Quatermasters (146k)

In a modern AU, Zuko has to deal with settling in a new school after expulsion, dealing with an angry ex and an abusive father. Maybe his new found friendships and growing closeness with Sokka will help him make it through.

Borderlines by The_Quatermasters (73k)

Three years after the war, the work still isn't quite done and the Gaang is scattered across the continents in their efforts to help the world recover. When Aang and Katara pay visit to the Fire Nation where Zuko is Fire Lord and Sokka acts as Ambassador for the Water Tribe, sparks fly between the siblings over Sokka's life choices.

Ashes Inside When You Finish Your Song by Muncaster (47k)

Sokka writes lyrics for his sister’s band. Zuko plays piano and is unnecessarily nice. Fellas, is it gay to write love songs about your friend and his golden eyes?

(AKA, a modern band AU featuring The Gaang, crappy software equipment, homoerotic lyrics, and the realization that maybe, if you think about a guy every night before you sleep, you just might be in love with him.)

sirens & sleepless nights by Satirrian (54k)

Life can be pretty hard living in a city under a totalitarian regime. Between adhering to the ridiculous curfew, keeping himself from being gunned down by a passing patrolman, and paying his unnecessary tolls to the state for, say, breathing, Sokka has his hands full just getting to work. Add aiding a resistance group on top of that, and Sokka should really be getting paid for this.

Then, one night, Sokka finds an injured patrolman collapsed in the street, who tells him with blood on his lips, “If the patrol finds me, I’m dead.”

Real Slow by surveycorpsjean (21k)

“I see.” Zuko closes the scroll. “Is the Water Tribe sending a replacement?”

“Uh yeah,” Sokka gestures to himself dramatically. “You’re looking at him.”

First by HoneyBadgerMole (20k)

Zuko has been nurturing a crush on the jock in his AP Psych class but he has been too scared to talk to him until they get paired up for a project.

the benefits of getting a flat tire by LesbeanLatte (64k)

Zuko makes an impromptu decision to run away from home after a disturbing conversation with Azula. Unfortunately, some plans are better when they're actually, well, planned. Zuko isn't counting on getting a flat tire almost as soon as he's far enough away from the city to really be in the middle of nowhere.

Sokka is immediately taken with the stranger he and his friends find stranded on the side of the road during an afternoon joy ride. However, he has no idea what he's getting involved with and a kind attempt to help a fellow teen in need turns into a massive coverup for a missing person who just so happens to be the son of the mayor of Ba Sing Se.

Azula was just trying to help her big brother - in her own way - by telling him things she thought he deserved to know. Now the situation has gotten wildly out of control. Did she enjoy seeing Zuko upset and afraid? Of course. Had she intended to endanger his life? Not necessarily, but of course, her idiot brother overreacted to everything and that's what happened and now she doesn't know how to stop the chain of events she's indirectly put in place like dominoes.

Operation Leverage by snowandfire (50k)

Sokka's instincts are onto something great. Zuko just wants to serve tea and brood in peace. Ironically, Toph is the only one who can see what's really going on.

The Stingray by Smediterranea (24k)

“You’re not carrying me.”

“I don’t mind,” the lifeguard says easily.

“I can just hop over.”

“On sand?”

Zuko will never admit it, but being carried feels pretty nice. The lifeguard sets him down and eyes him warily.

“Are you really all by yourself?” he asks in a worried tone. “No friends in town you can call to check on you?”

“No,” Zuko confirms. Tears are forming again with alarming speed; his foot throbs painfully with every passing second.

“What kind of burrito do you want?”

“You don’t have to —“ Zuko repeats.

“I’m getting al pastor. You like al pastor?”

AU: Zuko falls for Sokka, the super hot lifeguard who helps him after an unfortunate encounter with a stingray.

it's the illusion of separation by argentoswan (110k)

Sokka takes a job washing dishes at the new tea shop in town. It's a great gig, until he finds out his only coworker is his old high school bully. Sokka really should quit, but he also really needs to afford rent.

Also, Zuko is kind of hot now.

People like to think war means something by trying_to_spell_both_our_names_at_once (21k)

Sokka was the first to leave.

Somehow that hurt the most. . . . Not long after Zuko becomes Firelord, forces gather in the South and next thing he knows he's thrown into a civil war with almost no one by his side. Maybe healing is longer and more complicated than it needs to be, but with the right people by your side it is always possible.

a way that will destroy you by anothermistakemade (14k)

In the wake of Ozai's death, Zuko begins to fall apart. Sokka will do everything in his power to make sure that doesn't happen.

or, zuko might be losing his mind, but he also might just be really sad & traumatized

Those Who Favor Fire by CSHfic, VSfic (30k)

After a failed attempt on his life, Sokka fakes his death, dons a disguise, and infiltrates the would-be assassin's ranks in an attempt to bring them down from the inside.

Zuko learns of his husband's tragic death, mourns, and vows revenge.

Words Mean More at Night by DaisytheDoodleDog (28k)

Even ten years after the end of the war, rebellions rise and risk the balance of the nations. Sokka was willing to do anything to protect his people, which is perhaps why he's leading an army against the rebellion, attacking only as a last result. But Sokka's unwinding, it's taking a toll on him, and the only thing keeping him grounded are the letter Zuko and him exchange late in the night when no one can see the messenger hawks. But as they say, nothing's fair in love and war.

another word for wanting by eurydicees (23k)

Sokka begins to dream of his soulmate when he's eleven years old, and it just gets harder from there. Or, 125 moments soulmates share, and none of them come easy.

(In which your dreams are your soulmate's memories, and Sokka dreams of an all-consuming fire, growing and eating at his soulmate until it burns up the connection between their souls. In which they find love anyways.)

It Has Only Just Begun by Kirazalea (39k)

There is a bitter triumph in crashing when you should be soaring

Zuko had now chosen the path his uncle had been trying so hard to show him; he had someone who believed in him, who maybe loved him; he was travelling with the Avatar and they apparently had a plan to end the war. By all accounts, Zuko should be smiling.

But Uncle was gone (captured by Azula, and Zuko didn't think she would kill him, but he didn’t, couldn’t, know for sure). The Avatar was barely breathing (he could still die at any second and there was nothing any of them could do about it). Azula had conquered the last Earth Kingdom stronghold (all those innocent people who were now at her mercy). It seemed like, for every step Zuko took forward, the world sent him back three more.

But he was determined to push forward anyways. He needed to make his uncle proud, even if it was the last thing he ever did.

aka: zuko joins the gaang at the end of season 2

Nightmares and Reveries by HisMomoness (20k)

Zuko doesn't sleep because when he does, he's haunted by nightmares. Sokka worms his way into a job and makes it his mission to get Zuko to relax. Lots of head pets and one vacation to the South Pole later, Zuko might just be getting the hang of it.

Cue pining, some fluff, and eventual romance.

The One Who Stopped Time by ohhihoney (66k)

All hope was lost to Zuko until one day, his uncle asked a random person at the Jasmine Dragon to tutor his nephew. Gritting his teeth and embarrassed beyond the point of no return, Zuko gave the blue eyed boy his number.

Little did Zuko know how much Sokka would change his world.

Rubbed Off Stars by ohhihoney (2k)

Sokka wasn't going to just sit and watch the boy at the back of the bus cry while trying to rub off pride flags off his cheeks.

--------------

WIP

Ozymandias, King of Kings by Think_of_a_Wonderful_Thought (168k)

After that fateful Agni Kai, Ozai makes a different call. Branded as a traitor and banished to a prison camp, Zuko learns how cruel the Fire Nation can be to its citizens. Three years, a water tribe raid, and an unexpected meeting with a gang of over-enthusiastic idealistic children puts Zuko back in the spotlight. The revolution is coming and it wants another poster boy, but Zuko is not willing to lend his face to the cause.

Another Brother by AvocadoLove (312k)

It was a mission of revenge. There weren't supposed to be any survivors, but Chief Hakoda couldn't bring himself to kill the Fire Nation boy. Against his better judgment, he brought him home. A Zuko joins the Water Tribe story.

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BONUS : zuko x jet

Something to Hold Onto by Wildgoosery (122k)

Since the day the walls of Ba Sing Se fell, the Freedom Fighters have struggled to protect what remains of the city and its people. Jet and his second command, a mysterious boy named Li, have spent the summer piecing together an army, hoping for a chance to take the city back for good. But Li is also Zuko, and the time for that secret is quickly running out. Soon, he'll have to decide exactly who he is, what cause he's going to fight for, and where his heart lies.

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