finished honest hearts. underwhelming and more racist than i expected. the tribes really didnt get much depth or characterization. im still unsure if theyre supposed to be descendants of pre-war native americans or if they formed after the war bc they seem like ,, neither.

the fact that two of the tribes are blindly following these random christian white guys and the third one is 'just evil', is kinda fucked up.

im also still really lost on who tf daniel is supposed to be. like hes a missionary? medicine guy? the sorrows just trust him and everything he says about god?

it feels very much like the tribes are just part of the scenery and arent very well thought out. one thing i noticed was that when you encounter a white leg camp, waking cloud mentions that you can steal their totems bc theyll believe that the next battle is doomed (something like that, at least). she then says that we'd be using their own superstition against them. the use of the word superstition really stood out to me because waking cloud seems deadset on her own beliefs but easily dismisses those of the white legs. she doesnt want to go into a certain cave because she fears the wrath of 'the father who lives in the caves'. it just doesnt add up.

even without all the racist stuff (though its hard to ignore), the storyline just feels very vague to me. who are the white legs? why are they there? why are they "evil"? im supposed to just kill them automatically but without any clue as to why. and why do i need to ally with daniel and joshua without a second thought? i dont like daniel at all. joshua's a cool character, sure, but why am i supposed to trust him?

all around: not great, scenery is nice tho

You really didn't think that one through huh?

idk if im sobbing, wheezing, or choking on my tea <3

Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..

truly at the end of the day its all about receiving validation

Mermaid Alec while it's still Mermay!

Arakawa family brain rot: I just had the saddest thought about Masato returning from America, but from Masumi's perspective. He's prolly excited to see his son again despite the relationship tension. He's heard Masato has been doing great. His attitude has improved with his health. Maybe things will get better if he tries hard enough.

Maybe there's a chance to fix things.

And there isn't. Masato's just as vindictive and mean and manipulative as he ever was. And Arakawa finally has to mourn the son he never had. The son he told the world had died.

Do you think he ever regretted letting Masato get away with murder? Regretted that it wasn't Ichiban he still had in his life? I have a hard time with this because he loves Masato so much. I just wish he'd had the son who loved him out in the world with him y'know.

But we all know Masato ain't built for prison.

And I can't imagine like... Seeing Jo. Being relieved to see him again but immediately losing confidence because Jo looks so much more *tired* than he did. Ever together and composed but not really His Jo anymore. Not in the same way. It is never the same after he was gone so long.

I'm sure there are moments or even days where they fall into old patterns but I can't help but feel like (if Jo did in fact go to America w Masato) that that would be a defining shift in the relationship between Jo and Masumi.

Idk what this is really about but I got in my Arakawa feelings (I think be instared too long at the picture you posted). 🫰 Thanks for listening to me ramble byyyye~

EVERY DAY of my life i think of arakawa wondering if what they did regarding masato was 'the right choice'- like OF COURSE it was masato literally wouldnt have made it yet if it was the right choice why does it feel like such the wrong choice yeah...

i no longer like the piece ive spent the last 9 hours on :( but at least i got a very nice naked sabito out of it (AWOOGA- i mean ahem. Nice)

if max had been tasked to design this thing

For all the teething I've been doing on Pavo and Esti i haven't been able to like, actually write any thing for them recently mostly because I've been Busy.

But also because I'm snapping between like 3 ideas for them at terminal velocity and haven't been able to actually get anything written for them and it's like having pumas bouncing around my skull at mach fuck as though theyre house cats at 2 am when you're trying to sleep,

rrrrrrrrr im so frustrated with my writing. its just been weeks of struggle and whyyyy. idk i think i need to rework or rethink what im going for with this one or something, its like i can feel the threads of the themes i wanna do are sooo close to tying together but it just isnt quite reaching yet and so it reads like a stilted bland mess but the more i stare at it the further away it feels aaah

i know it can get there i kNOW it can, the ending and like aha moment is so cleaaaar that i think its almost too solid and thats why my beginning feels so fucked—like i just keep asking myself 'well if hes gonna get there in chapter 5, whats stopping him from getting there now in chapter 2??' i tHOUGHT i had reasons but now that im there i just keep instinctually writing him to have the connecting/realization moment anyway and like. if that's how it is then what even IS the story??? i need a break

Constantly torn between writing a character to be just a nice guy and writing that character to be the most fucked up creature in existence

meeting w the second intake coordinator for the ptsd clinic tomorrow before they assign me to a therapist, the app is like one hour long and im rly not looking forward to rehashing all my damned trauma again to a new person

Julien Miquel my beloved where would we be without your pronunciation videos

Upon further examination, I am leaning more and more into Otto being a nonbinary egg opposed to a nonbinary person who uses he/him pronouns. Thanks for the help Mi-ma <3

Wanna put your friend in a lil terrarium just to see what wacky things she does stg 😂

i actually Cannot Stress the migraine she gives me every time we hang out. like without fail she'll always say or do something that ranges from mildly questionable or irritating but relatively Whatever to How Have You Survived This Long Without Burning Your House Down Boiling An Egg

I literally had a dream about reading the worst fan fiction like fucking ever kiryu was just randomly a yandere and nishiki was trying his best to survive also kiryu turned into a dragon (deez nuts) halfway and let nishiki kill him for being a bad boy but he was so upset about having to kill his bro that he just lay in the corpse for a bit and thats when i decided to stop reading and i literally opened tumblr in my dream to complain about how bad it was like the writing went back and forth from being terrible to incredible and i found myself enjoying some parts and despising others. I skipped the first few chapters so i had to tab back out and read the summary like why are they in a beach resort and the summary didnt just tell me nothing but it was also double spaced between each line and very fucking irritating and while reading it i kept thinking this is extremely ooc and boring like they would not fucking say that