just talking/worrying about my life

i really really want to go away to college, partly because i actually really like school when i'm not a) severely mentally ill and b) having to take classes i hate and c) 100% online classes, and also because i really want to be more independent and not live with my mom and college feels like a good opportunity to do that (and i've lived in the same city since i was 6, i would really like to live somewhere else)

but to be honest i'm terrified that i won't get accepted anywhere out of state and then it's like... what do i do now? i didn't do as well on my SATs as i could have had i known about the test more than 2 days in advance. i'm a high school dropout and most of my community college transcript is withdrawals. i did do well in the classes i actually completed and i did really really well on my GED, but it's been so long since i've been in school or even really doing ANYTHING that i feel like i'm just not smart enough, or just too out of practice to even get in anywhere. and if i do manage to get in, i'm terrified that i'll go away and won't be able to handle school, or won't be able to handle living alone, or won't meet any of my personal goals i want to accomplish during college, and i'll just have to drop out and move back with my mom (which is not the end of the world if it does happen, i love my mom and i know she'll support me, but i don't want it to happen anyway). and then it's like... college is so insanely expensive. i know i'll have my parent's support but it's SO much money and then i like... have to pay for food, what if i'm horrible at feeding myself and i relapse and have to drop out? what if COVID gets significantly worse and i'm alone in a strange city and i get sick?

i know that all of this is the extreme what-ifs i do in any scenario, and i always, always doubt my capabilities for everything, and more often than not it turns out much better than i expected (like i was CERTAIN i was going to fail the GED at first). and if i don't apply to schools there is zero chance that i will get in. i know i'll be able to survive no matter what happens, and i have parents who are well off and who will always let me move back home if i need to.

but somehow when i was 15/16 and just assumed i was going to die before my eighteenth birthday everything seemed less stressful. now i'm here, alive, wanting to live, 19 years old and it's like. now what.

It was Maid Day today yesterday a week ago so I got struck by inspiration to draw the worsties, and it ran away from me into a whole AU where they’re coworkers at a maid cafe. She’s a med student & this is just a part time job, and this is his depression job while he gets his life back together. He needs something he can be workaholic about to forget what it’s like having a personal life and personal issues. He’s actually the accountant, but the new hire janitor (Izutsumi) doesn’t show up for half her shifts and is a sloppy worker, so he gets the extra work of doing her job on top of his because he’s undervalued and overworked. Of course, janitors also have an uniform to keep the aesthetic cohesion as they go about cleaning the place, of course.

Senshi’s the part time cook you only see slivers off, he’s kind and warm when you do see him and have a chat but most shifts he’s in and out the kitchen without a trace. Laios and Falin are regulars because Falin and Marcille are besties & in the same med school, Laios accompanies Falin as she visits her friend at work and gets hooked on the food. Chilchuck has to remind Marcille to work instead of chatting with Falin for an hour, and next thing he knows she’s distracting him from work too. That’s it that’s the AU. Inspired by this idol AU fanart a bit <3

This was not meant to be birthday gift but well…… Happy bday Chil!!!

Read from left to right

Did anyone else get roped back into liking fnaf after the movie like that SpongeBob episode where Sandy lassos Patrick back to her and he explodes

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

Okay so we all agree that thw is gorgeous, everything about it looks amazing, but one thing that bothers me is that all of the characters look too soft? They look airbrushed and their skin is too smooth and their hair looks too clean?? I feel like the first movie did such a good job, you know their skin had texture and they looked greasy and dirty and stuff, and I feel like we definitely lost that as we went along? This might've been a problem in HTTYD 2 I'm not sure, but I feel like the 3rd movie is the worst offender

i also feel like they changed their teeth as they went along (if i'm not mistaken they were like 15 in the first movie, and by that point you aren't losing anymore teeth (and vikings don't exactly have braces)), like they look straighter and smaller and stuff.

I'm not even gonna get into what they did to Valka bc that was egregious.

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august 24, 2021 8:15 p.m. rainbow bowling

Constant need to throw Hornblower into math academia and discover new flavors of how unwell he can get

People like Bill Jr. got all kinds of things wrong about Scully but probably none moreso than thinking it was tragic that Mulder was dragging her along on some descent into madness, when actually the real tragedy was how few of the people she loved ever realized it wasn't a descent.

(It couldn't be bc 1. it's not madness and 2. she was already there.)

Karen: LMAO every guy I meet reminds me of my big brothers that's so funny except if Paul is already my brother and you're also a brother that's a bit awkward, huh Hot bartender: THATS MOVING REALLY FAST AND I LIKE YOU AS A PERSON BUT - Karen: having my brothers date would be SO WEIRD Hot bartender: Well on the bright side I literally cannot speak more than five words to him so we aren't dating because he's so cute

(Everyone else: that is somehow the most depressing bright side we never want to hear)

Kiss Me in Komorebi+ 🌸

[Episode Five] One Last Push!

And there we have it, folks! With a wonderful night of revelry, drinking, smoking, and revelations abound fully on the books, Daniel's settled down for a nice, long snooze before the very first Rose Ceremony of this Challenge!

Who will stay? Who will go? Stay tuned for the next episode of SimnationTV's Kiss Me in Komorebi+ to find out!

[ Part 30/30 ] 🌹

what you’ve got to understand about working conditions in education (and also other care-oriented careers) is that if they’re shit, two things are true at once:

that does not ever excuse being cruel to a kid, no matter what

until those conditions are fixed, education will continue to suck absolute shit

this is because when working conditions for teachers are really bad, many of the good teachers who recognize when they are reaching a point where they can no longer be the sort of teacher the kids deserve due to burnout WILL quit. they will do the responsible thing and go away for their own sake and the sake of the kids. and you end up stuck w a combination of new teachers who are trying their best but won’t last long, burnt out teachers who are trying their best but have nothing left to give and therefore aren’t very effective at actually teaching, and cockroach shitheads who take out their misery on the kids.

we have all had terrible experiences with bad teachers, many of them flat out traumatic, but for fuck’s sake please try to look at the systemic underpinnings of the problem for one minute. spitefully declaring that teachers don’t deserve good working conditions or even the right to complain about bad working conditions because ms. whoever in 5th grade was a bitch is only going to create more of her. if you want good teachers then we need an education system they can survive in

PLEASE SEND GOOD VIBES YALL

i have an interview in an hour at my old job and i am DESPERATE to get it 😭

been unemployed since august and have $13 to my name with over $10k credit card debt from paying bills. cards are maxed out now and i've been so so depressed.

pls pls pls guys if you pray, pray for me!!

For The Alliance.

Every shower should come with a water pressure fast enough and a temperature hot enough to kill a man

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