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yunpointe · 7 months

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𝒃𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖

pairing: artist!hongjoong x gn!reader

genre: fluff, established long distance relationship

warnings: cursing, alcohol consumption

a/n: i wanted to write something for hongjoongs bday, so i hope yall enjoy it! sorry its late!

length: [2.1k]

Ding! Was it really time? Am I ready?

~ 2 days earlier~

How am I keeping a secret from my boyfriend right now? “(y/n), are you there?” Right now it’s two days before my boyfriend’s birthday. He has no idea that his friends and I have planned to surprise him on his big day. “I’m sorry for waking you up, love, I just wanted to hear your voice before I go to the studio.” “Sorry Joong, I’m here.” I was packing my bags as he was talking to me about his schedule for today. “I have a shoot with a very particular model today and I’m really not in the mood to deal with their antics today.” I’m packing based on a checklist Seonghwa sent me. He definitely didn’t help Hongjoong pack when he came to visit me last year. I remember Hongjoong forgetting to bring so many things. We ended up going shopping a lot for him while he was with me. “I’m taking the next three days off, hopefully.” “That would be nice. If anything, you deserve it, you work hard.” I finished putting the last few items in my suitcase and I put it near the front door of my apartment before retreating back to my bedroom. “I forgot to tell you babe, I got the gallery I wanted to showcase my work.” THE GASP I LET OUT. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m so happy for you!” I literally was kicking my feet for him right now. He worked so hard on his portfolio for this gallery. They denied him in the past for stupid ass reasons, but he got it now right in time for his 25th birthday. “Joong, that is a big deal for you, what are the guys doing for you?” “Knowing them, probably something insane. No one has said much and they are acting odd so I’m pretty sure they are planning something.” “Don’t spoil it for yourself! If they are trying to hide it, it will be good.” I laughed while thinking of his friends. “I won’t. I won't, I promise you. I’m actually looking forward to it.” He let out a short chuckle. “(y/n), I gotta go now, I’ll call you later. I love you.” “Okay Joong. I’m proud of you! I love you too.” After we hung up, I collapsed on my bed and decided to try and get some extra hours of sleep.

“So, you’re going out of town for a few days?” I turned away from my desk to face my boss standing outside my office door. “Yes I am. It is a personal matter I need to attend to.” Seeing my boyfriend and celebrating his birthday with him. “I see. Well, enjoy it!” My boss just waved her hand as she walked off. I figured after she had left me, it was time to take my break. Today I decided to go out of the office building for my break and go take a walk in the city. I took out my phone and thought why not give Seonghwa a ring to discuss the “surprise”. “Hello, This is Mr. Park’s phone. May I ask who is calling?” Oh his assistant! “Hello, this is his acquaintance (y/n), is Seonghwa able to talk now?” “One moment please, (y/n).” I’m not sure why I felt odd after speaking with his assistant. “Hello, this is Seonghwa Park speaking.” “Hi, Hwa. It’s (y/n).” He sounded so formal and his voice was deeper than I remember. “Oh! (y/n), what’s up?” I take it back. His voice dropped as soon as he knew it was me and his casual tone came so smoothly. “I was on my break and I wanted to reach out to ask how things are gonna play out when I fly out tonight.” “Oh of course! I’m so sorry we haven’t said much, we’ve been avoiding the topic since Joong is around a lot. I believe Yunho will be retrieving you from the airport with Yeosang and Jongho, Wooyoung is in charge of keeping Hongjoong busy, while the rest of us set up the house for the party.” I mean it's a plan. It may not be the best idea to have Woo distract Joong, but it's their plan. I gotta trust them. “Okay, sounds good. I’m so nervous to fly out, but excited, don't worry!” He laughed and just reassured me that everything will go fine. “Thank you, Hwa. I gotta get back to work now, but I’ll contact you later!” “No, thank you (y/n). Talk to you soon.” He hung up soon after and speaking with him made me feel more comfortable leaving tonight.

The flight was so long, my ass hurts, I’m tired, I’m hungry. I got my luggage down from the overhead bin before following the rest of my flight off the plane. I walked through the airport to baggage claim admiring the airport like I do each time I visit. When I had made it to baggage claim and retrieved all my belongings, I noticed a few familiar faces making their way towards me. Jongho didn’t even give me the time to greet him before he snatched my bags from me to carry. “Thank you, Jongho.” All he did was nod and smile at me before he started making his way toward the exit of the airport. “I am so happy you are here (y/n)! Hongjoong will be so surprised to see you.” Yunho slung his arm around me and started to lead the way toward the exit. “I hope so. How is the party planning going?” “It’s gonna be a good one. He will enjoy becoming twenty-five.” Yeosang just smiled toward me. It sounds like this party is almost like a surprise for everyone going, not just the birthday boy.

Staying with Seonghwa before the big day means I get to see the party plans and where it’s gonna be held. When we arrived at Seonghwa's penthouse it was decorated with banners that read “Happy Birthday!” and “Hongjoong’s 25th Birthday”, San and Seonghwa were busy finalizing the details while I went to unpack some of my things into the bedroom Seonghwa was letting me stay in before I surprise Joong. Coming out into the main room, the boys were discussing how tomorrow is gonna be like, hopefully. “Okay, so tomorrow is gonna be an all day celebration for Joong. Wooyoung is with him tonight at his place and is gonna take him tomorrow to breakfast with Bumjoong. We are gonna pick up the food tomorrow afternoon and then by the time we get back it should be around the time they will arrive. We will then surprise him with you and boom! Happy and great birthday party for Hongjoong.” It made me laugh at how they described the plan. It will be a great day tomorrow for all of us.

When I woke up the next day, it was afternoon. The time difference really messed me up, I guess. I walked out into the main room and saw that only San and Yeosang remained here. “Where is everybody else?” I began making some coffee while talking to the boys sitting at the island. “They went to go pick up the food. You are running late.” San just nodded along with Yeosang’s words. I couldn’t believe it was so late. “Why didn’t you wake me up? I gotta get ready!” I quickly finished off what I could of my coffee before cleaning up my mess. “Before they left, Seonghwa told us to leave you be. He said you would be up in time.” “I’ll have to thank him then when he returns, but for now thank you to you two. I must get ready now so excuse me!” I ran off to my room to grab my toiletries before retreating into the bathroom to clean up.

“You clean up nice, (y/n).” Yunho teased me while I struggled to fix my appearance. “Haha, so do you.” They returned not long ago from retrieving the food for the party. Seonghwa was setting it up on the island buffet style with the help of Jongho. “Wooyoung texted they are on their way.” San read the message from his phone then moved to check decorations and everything was in perfect shape. “Alright. Everything is set, now we just wait.” Seonghwa dusted off his hands and hopped onto the couch. I joined everyone else around the couch to wait for Wooyoung and Hongjoong to arrive. I couldn’t lie, I was nervous, not telling him I was coming. I'm not sure if he is gonna be happy to see me. “Do you think he’ll be happy to see me?” All eyes turned to look at me. “Of course he will be. Why do you ask?” “Well I didn’t tell him I was coming so I don’t know if he will be happy.” “He won’t be upset. The person he loves coming to see him on his birthday. I’m pretty sure he will be more happy than other times you have visited.” Jongho rested his hand on my shoulder. “Seonghwa’s right. He has been wanting you to come visit or to go see you, but neither of you have the time off from your work to visit one another. He will be very happy that you are finally here with him.” Jongho has always been good with words. He has always been very straight forward so I can trust what he says and take it to heart.

Ding! Was it really time? Am I ready? We all scrambled to stand up and around ready to welcome them. The penthouse elevator door opens and we see the faces of the two we have been expecting. “SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONGJOONG!” The twenty-five year old stands in front of the door looking in shock, but also he has a smile on his face. The boys welcome him first and give him their appreciation, then leaving him and I to ourselves while they dig into the food. Hongjoong didn’t give me any time to say a word before he engulfed me in a hug. “I can’t believe you are here right now.” I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. “I got in yesterday, so I could be here to surprise you today.” When he pulled away, he led the both of us over toward the rest of the boys. “Did you all plan this as well?” I swear all of them were stuffing their faces when he asked so most just nodded. “I mean I knew something was up, but this is insane. I am so thankful to all of you.” Everyone cheered and clapped that their surprise worked. Wooyoung poured some drinks for everyone and cheered for Hongjoong’s birthday and that he also got his gallery. The night was filled with joy, we drank, ate, and enjoyed spending time with each other.

The party went late into the night, but we called it quits eventually. Hongjoong had asked me to go back to his place with him so we left together. While heading back to his place he asked his driver to stop at a place. “I wanna show you something, love.” He walked around to my side of the car and opened the door for me. I looked at the building we had arrived at and recognized it instantly. “Joong, is this the building we discussed last time I visited?” Last time I was visiting, I told him that if I could, one day I would wanna move here with him and own my own business inside this building. It has been empty for a long time, but to me it's a cute building that could be a popular place if taken care of properly. Now, it has a sign in the window that reads “Sold.” “I wanted to fly you out later and surprise you with this. I bought this for you, I wanted to ask you to move over here with me.” My feet were glued to the ground as I stared in shock at Hongjoong. I swear I didn’t know when my eyes started to tear up. “We talked about one day being together in one place so we can make our dreams come true together. I want to have my gallery down the road from you and your business, so I can come see your smile while I take a break. So, (y/n), I want to ask you, will you be with me?” I swear I gave him the tightest hug and began to let my happy tears fall. “Joong, I want nothing more than to be with you.”

a/n: i took so long to finish this i’m sorry. i’m not sure if the ending is great. i just wanted to finish it so i could get it posted. so, i hope this was good! thanks for getting this far :)))

#ateez scenarios #ateez hongjoong #ateez hongjoong x reader #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez fic #ateez fluff #ateez reactions #ateez fanfic #hongjoong #yunpointe

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youkaiyume · 2 years

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Whelp. I just got suddenly laid off today. To most of my coworker’s shock, including my immediate managers who said we are short staffed and need me. But the official story is that they want to downsize due to the recession and I guess it’s cheaper to hire contractors than to keep in house artists. So I guess that’s that. Literally I have until tomorrow to say my goodbyes and pull any work I can for my portfolio as quickly as possible and then they’ll kick me off of all their networks. But because I work remotely I’ll still until sometime next month to give them back their equipment so there’s that.

Of course my initial feels is that I am very sad. I quite liked my company and my coworkers and the work that I was doing so it’s always tough to leave suddenly. Financially yeah. I might be worried but it’s not as bad as it was the last time I was laid off. Their severence (in theory?) is a little better than my last place, and I still have patreon so I won’t be completely bereft of income. For anyone who ever complains “why doesn’t raindrops update” well it usually updates and coincides when I am unemployed and have lots of time lol. So guess what will probably get updated soon.

Mostly I just feel tired because of course all the unemployment paperwork is coming and applying for unemployment as well as trying to go through and update my portfolio is just a lot of work. Finding a new job is a lot of work. I remembered it being a full time job in and of itself. Also hey trying to insure myself now and pay for that. hm.

Well, my optimistic goal is if I have all the time to put into patreon and the comic is that hopefully I can start growing patreon again and if I can get my income from there to be livable I would not have to go back to working for corporate overlords at all. But man, insurance sure was nice. Anyway, that’s an unexpected end to my week.

Turns out the horror of Halloween is unemployment lol. I’m kidding. I’ll be okay I think.

#text post #personal #unemployed again #the life of an artist

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pencilcat · 2 years

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Hi! I really love your work and was just curious as to how you became a comic colorist and waht that entails? that sounds super great but i have no idea how to even start my freelance artist career. TYSM!

I sort of fell into becoming a comic colorist by accident (got offered a quick job as an emergency fill-in, and kept getting offers after that haha). But I do have a BFA in Sequential Art, so I had some prior knowledge. A degree is not necessary however, and there is no one path to becoming a freelance artist. Here are some basic overall steps.

(1) learn the art foundations (color, lighting, rendering, perspective, design, etc.). And then learn the tools of the trade for what you want to do for work. In my case as a comic colorist, I needed to learn how to work digitally, quickly (to meet deadlines), how CMYK colors work, etc.

(2) Build a portfolio centered on what *you* want to do. Having multiple skills is good, but try to have a main focus (illustration, comics, concept art, etc.). For example if you want to be a comic colorist, find some (publicly available) comic pages to color! Show off your skills!

(3) Make sure your portfolio and artwork is EASY to find and quickly browse. And your contact info too! Don't rely on a tumblr blog or twitter media tabs. People who are hiring don't always have time to browse through lots of random posts to find your work.

(4) Stay informed of the industry you want to work in, and follow + chat with people who are active in it. This will also help you learn on how the best way to get jobs.

(5) Learn how taxes work (at least if you're from the USA, I can't speak on how other countries taxes work as self-employed). Seriously, this is something that people who first go into freelance don't think about till it's tax time. Even if you hire your own tax accountant, it's good to know how your taxes work, when to pay, what forms you need to file, how to save, and what you are allowed to deduct etc. It's a massive headache, but sadly it must be done. As a freelancer you are a business!

Hopefully this helps a little? A path to being a freelancer artist is a bit like a journey through life. No one takes the same path, but it's nice to know where some of the guiding points are.

#ask #reply #art tips

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highpoly · 7 months

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simply writing my thoughts on using blender to make my renders instead of MMD...feel free to scroll by

well if you ever wanted a more advanced MMD, blender is the closest you'll get LOL like it feels refreshing to be able to pose multiple bones all at once like wow...we really do have the technology...

that render was gonna be portfolio only but given that it's my first time actually using blender to render i figure i post it here as well. something i wish was better at would be the shadows but i learned that in EEVEE, the shadows are kinda bad anyways but they do plan on updating EEVEE itself Someday...

i wish i was better at node setups because i do have a very basic toon shader and i learned how to finally set it up when you have a texture thanks to this video. i think it's good and simple enough but it's not what i want to use for Every artwork i make. idk

something else i realized is that people edit their 3d renders afterwards in a separate software which makes sense i guess. i think just coming from MMD, i'm very used to doing everything in that program. at least doing this, i learned more about Clip Studio Paint.

a lot of my work in MMD typically involves loading in a shader after posing, doing some camera adjustment, then lighting. afterwards is more MME by color correcting with effects like ikClut from ikeno or some from okoneya with their o_Tonemap effects and adding filters like mashimashi's msNoise effect and sharpening from Elle's HalfBlur effect. so in terms of color correcting + effects i think that's where Clip Studio Paint comes in... but!

i think the shader thing is the biggest issue because i don't want it to Only be a simple toon effect, there's also another MMD effect where the shadows are really good and it makes it... more "realistic" looking (idk the word for it but just know it's not "toon" related anymore) and i like to combine it with ikGouache for a really nice effect. idk if there are any other shaders out there that are being distributed aside from KiryToonShader which is what i used for that render btw... i remember finding something from another blender artist but ngl there stuff was like. really horny HJASDFHJSAF idk if i wanna go and find it but interesting enough... they have their 3d models that are clearly anime/toon-like but the shader makes it look like they're a figure... idk this probably isn't a good description but it was like a perfect balance To Me... because ngl i hate it when people make 3d models that are Clearly supposed to be anime/toon-like and then give them the weirdest hyper-realistic look and it's usually never done right but the way they set it up? i kinda want to know more. literally the last thing i vaguely remember about them is that their shader wasn't very complicated and it was just the standard principled bsdf thing

well anyways here's to learning more about blender. hopefully i can make more in the future! thanks for reading :3

#xyz.log

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thistransient · 1 year

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- In addition to complaining about it, occasionally I do attempt to improve my lot in life: beyond the new bicycling endeavour, I have also finally extricated myself from my Chinese tutoring (under the guise of it being temporary, but really I think the relationship has run its course), and continued going to the “rope jam” evening I tried out last month. It was very rewarding the second time, persistence pays off! However, it came to light that the host also organises a monthly artist networking night, which at first I felt unqualified for when I looked at the sign-up form (I’m not a professional by any means), but was encouraged to go regardless. Sure. Okay. But one is recommended to hand out business cards? Dress smart casual? Have some sort of established social media? I only made an IG account a few months ago, with the sole purpose of looking at plastic surgeon results (I do NOT need another app to scroll endlessly on). I have nothing resembling a brand name, I do have a lot of imposter feelings because I never went to art school (backstory: my mother is a professional artist so I grew up around it, and was on the verge of applying for an art program for uni, but ended up getting a scholarship from a different place for foreign languages and settled for that instead). I am gonna do this though, and see what comes of it. I’ve had the vague intent for years and years to round up all my projects and make some kind of proper portfolio, maybe I’ll be motivated to follow through at long last?

- I’ve decided I am really truly done with taking language class just to stay in the country. I am going to leave and come back on a visa-free entry, and optimally find a job within 90 days, but if it takes longer than that, so be it. The destination is...*drumroll*...

Seoul. No I did not see that coming either. With Japan being ruled out on account of flight prices, and my Chinese visa being invalidated, I decided it was down to Bangkok or Manila (and possibly Palawan, as a friend from my Australia days is there visiting family). However, Bangkok simply did not spark joy, and all of the cheapest flights from Manila were red-eye (I refuse to do the sleep deprivation hangovers anymore). At some point it dawned on me that separate budget airlines to and from Incheon could be an option. My adventure/ordeal in Korea is the whole reason for the founding of this blog, and it’s been ten years since I left (without cancelling my phone plan, hopefully that doesn’t cause issues but I have a new passport now anyways). I feel it’s only fitting to return for some closure (emotionally, not of the phone plan), and experience everything anew as my current self (vs. severely depressed while working for a tyrannical hagwon boss). I was a little miffed to discover the government has implemented an “Electronic Travel Authorisation” that one must apply for to enter- it’s not a visa, and yet there’s a fee, but it’s good for two years? Whatever.

I was going to lament my dilemma of whether to keep my current guesthouse booking or try to find something cheaper on Airbnb, but in writing about it I’ve convinced myself it’s better to stick with the guesthouse- I’m not keen by any means on staying in hostel dorms at this point in my life, but I’d still like some measure of socialising, and it’s in a nice location near Gyeongbokgung Palace. I just want to wander around slowly taking blatantly touristy photos of things, and eat some good food!

#hopefully i don't freeze to death with my sub-tropically attuned body #i did post some art on my IG but my friend was like you need to tag this so people can find it #and i was like excuse me no i don't want to be found #the mortifying ordeal of being known and all that #ironically i really like being photographed but idk how to get into weird modeling #like for strange art projects not necessarily clothes #maybe something to write on my wall space of Things to Manifest

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kodigobacktosleep · 1 year

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Portfolio review went like a dream!

I got a lot of incredibly insightful feedback from art directors who work with illustrators, and that alone makes me so happy! Illustrators at my college rarely get an opportunity to meet with art directors who are familiar with this type of work. I also had the confidence of finally knowing where I want to steer my work towards: middle grade books! I've been so unsure and wishy-washy about what I wanted to do. Jack of all trades was an okay answer, but middle grade books? Rolls off the tongue more nicely for me. I feel satisfied with that answer.

Even better is that I got to meet with an art director from my dream company, and I was put on a list of artists they want to pitch to their team to keep an eye on! This is just. Oh man, I'm over the moon about it. They mentioned that with their other pointers that I might be able to get to the point of woeking with them in 2-3 years which is so quick! Hopefully I can keep it up and refine my portfolio, but hearing that I'm right on track to do middle grade books, that I have strong composition and great concepts makes me so happy.

#Career Day last month was an absolute bust so this validation is exactly what I needed #Over the moon!#Getting there one step at a time #Just gotta remember that I'm running my own race

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pbandjesse · 1 year

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After many hours of work, I have finished reorganizing the studio! I am very sneezy. But I am so glad I did it.

Today was honestly a great day. I slept okay last night. Getting up was hard. But I did and felt pretty good.

I got dressed and had leftover chipotle for breakfast. I had some crackers. And then I got all my stuff together to go to the armory.

I drove down there and thought about stopping at Walgreens to get my prescription but then I remembered the aren't open on the weekend. Annoying. But that is fine. I got to the armory and waited for Jess to get there.

When she did we went to get the snacks she got for the workshop participants. Very big bags of popcorn. I even got one to take home.

We got upstairs and got everything set up and I felt really good about the project.

I love teaching sewing. And we were learning three basic stitches. And then a satin stitch for a few that wanted to fill in spaces. We ended up having two kids, one teen, and threw adults participate. And it was so fun!!

I got to show off my coat. And I loved talking to the kids about their ideas. The teen volunteer is really into making and showed me the adorable stuff she makes. We talked about projects and how to store them. And how to get materials. I am glad I was able to share the best places to get cheap and cost effective materials. I also got to spend time organizing my thread. Jessica helped by sorting the blue box so it'll be easier to wrap later. It was a productive class all around.

Everyone was having so much fun that we ended up staying an extra half hour. I encouraged everyone to take thread to finish their projects and to keep their hoops and needles. Some returned the needles though and that is just fine. They all said they are.coming back next week. I hope they do!!

We cleaned up pretty quickly. And then I was off. Back to the house to get back to cleaning the studio.

It was embarrassing how much stuff was in the living room. But I needed the space to be able to sort and clean. Mr Will came over and I told him not to laugh at me but he said I was doing good. And that he has ordered the new door and it'll be here soon.

Besides a few little breaks, I worked on the studio from 1245 until 730. Basically the entire afternoon. I did take an hour breakfast for dinner. But besides that it was just. Sorting. And finding spaces on the shelves. Throwing away trash. Sorting paper. Pulling out my art and putting it in a portfolio case. Just really digging in and trying hard to make the space more conducive to finding the materials I needed.

I also filled three bags of stuff to donate. And 4 1/2 Rubbermaid totes to bring to puhtok.

When James got home they would help me fold all of our sheets and extra blankets and bedding. Then we chose a few to donate. I also moved some trunks around. And really made some space and feel so good about it.

I also kicked up a ton of dust. So tomorrow I will do more actual cleaning. But in the mean time I did sweep a lot of little bits of fabric and trash. James put our couch cushions in trash bags so we could store them in the fire place since I got the box out of there and consolidated that stuff that was in there. And I just feel like we accomplished so much.

We took a little dinner break. Cuddled on the couch. My dad called as I was putting away the last few things. We talked for a half hour it was really nice to hear him sound so strong he starts intense physical therapy soon. And it going to hopefully relearn to drive. I am proud of him.

And once I was totally done everything I could do I went and took a bubble bath.

Which made me feel great. I did a face mask. My skin feels so soft. And now I am in bed. James made me a sandwich. I am sipping juice. I am very ready to go to sleep.

I have the next two days off. And I hope to do my knitting and finish my last crochet squares so I can start attaching them this week. I hope you all have a great night tonight. Sleep well my friends. I love you!

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indiefilmer · 2 years

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Ways to make money…

Firstly you can’t do anything if you don’t have legit clients, so firstly you need to know how you are going to market yourself, learn about the different ways of social media marketing, going around making connections, etc. my best advice would be to personally reach out to local artists and let them know youre available if they’re ever looking for a shoot, or buy a sponsorship on a local IG page with a decent amount of following.

Know what’s in demand, Real estate videos, weddings, and music videos are two things that will always be in demand in just about every city and town. There’s also other things you can try people don’t even know about like acting and modeling reels for aspiring actors and models. Those are the best ways to really make some decent side money.

TIPs as to why you aren’t getting paid.

DO NOT promise or advertise something you can’t for SURE produce, if you know your skills are limited, or your equipment is, or you have a 2.5k quality camera, don’t go around promising or advertising yourself as someone who can produce creative 4k quality videos with drone shots, it’s common sense but A LOT of freelancers as a whole, especially ones starting out, think it’s fine or okay to promise something they don’t have or can’t deliver at that moment but will eventually get what the client is expecting before working with them, then the time comes and they don’t have it.

Also make what you CAN do sound realistic, or otherwise potential clients might assume you’re a scam artist, as someone who’s worked in marketing (where we helped improved older peoples Medicare/Medicaid benefits for free) Scam Artists are everywhere promising everything, don’t be offended or surprised if you’re offering the world and they assume you’re a scammer

If you have no portfolio, no name for yourself in your area, and living in a lower income to average income area or city but charging hundreds of dollars to clients dont expect many people to come bursting through your door begging to book you for any kind of work, they don’t know who you are, they don’t know what kind of work you can produce, and there are many “videographers” I see struggling to book clients, meanwhile they’re charging hundreds, and don’t even have a decent rig and don’t know about the nice color grading tool along with having no portfolio of their work on any of their social medias and show no real passion about what they do, but copy what everyone else is doing. In one simple short word Unprofessional. BE PROFESSIONAL it shows you take what you do seriously and have pride and passion for it…and if you do show it.

Hopefully this helps out somebody

#film #filmmaker #cinema #videography #entrepreneur #startup

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143-wakabamori · 2 years

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Hey, I'm a studyblr.

This is Romina. I'm a twenty-something college dropout trying to navigate her way through life. I started this blog to hold myself accountable to studying. There is also a part of me that likes the validation of other people seeing my work. It motivates me.

I haven't been in a nice headspace in a long time and have only started to pick myself up. I used to study Legal Management and was preparing for law school, but I realized that it really wasn't for me. Now, I'm doing certifications for UX design. I love how it's a mix of a lot of things that I like doing-- research, writing, designing while making use of concepts from different fields like psychology. I might try college again next year (if I can save up for it) and take Multimedia Arts in our country or get an online degree in Human-Computer Interaction.

Outside of studying, I like playing casual games like Sims 4, Stardew Valley and Minecraft. My goals include finishing the certification within the next three to four months, polishing my portfolio, keeping a bullet journal and finally going through my reading list. Hopefully, I'll have a job by the end of the year.

A fun fact would be that I handled a studygram & studyblr account with two other friends back in 2018-2019. One is studying to become a vet and another one wants to be an architect! We don't talk much now as we went to different universities, but we catch up from time to time. I'm very proud of them.

Anyway, here's to us. Here's to the future. Nice to meet you all :)

#studyblr #studyspo #bujo #studyblr introduction #study space #productive #student #university #studying #studyinspo #study notes #study aesthetic #studygram #mine

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gogoutori · 1 year

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Life update ramble mostly to get my thoughts together.

I don’t think most people in my life genuinely know how sick I am... Its making me end up second guessing myself/self-gaslighting like “maybe I’m not that sick..?” or I’m somehow being over dramatic. But I’ve had several actually disabled people reassure me that I’m not crazy and this is pretty normal for ppl with chronic pain. I have head pain literally every day at some level now but I’m at max amount of meds I can take outside of starting botox as well which I really don’t want to do with my nerves already so screwy. At this point I’ve just normalized it and work around it. I’m really tired though. Thats the thing I think most people don’t get is just how much this shit takes out of you. I did not understand it. I had an educated guess being around my sister but I was not prepared to be put on my ass so much and not be able to just charge through to do things I used to anymore. It sucks and I’m trying to work through understanding it and giving myself grace. But I’m very harsh on myself by nature, so its not the easiest thing to do. On top of people not understanding the depth of how out of it I am, I feel kinda shit for how flaky I’ve been, but at the same time I need to remind myself that I’m literally not doing anything wrong. My health has to come first even if it makes others feel inconvenienced. My people pleasing side hates this lol

But I’m trying to get better at it. I didn’t officially make any New Years resolutions this year, but I’ve started to shrink my world inward since Jan and focus more on my own physical and mental health. Shutting off the news and purposely trying to focus on mostly positive things. Cutting out negativity has helped a bit cause stress is a big migraine trigger. (any heightened emotion can be, but stress and anger are easiest to tip into starting a headache that leads to a migraine) Simplifying my life to focus on happier things has been good ot my mental health too. I had a lowkey intervention with some ppl helping me realize I was far too focused on other people and their problems rather than investing in myself in a healthy way. I haven’t taken on a therapist again yet, but my last one pointed out that I have a very unkind attitude toward myself and will be far more willing to help others first before seeking help for myself, which when paired with my passive nature, I end up getting taken advantage of even if I don’t see it as that. I know this, but confronting it is awkward. Being selfish to me is buying myself nice things, now it means saying no if I don’t have energy to do something or letting myself rest.

I’ve been trying to figure out new boundaries as well. I have to get better at voicing them though. Saying no is hard and I feel like I need to justify it with a reason instead of it just being an answer. I can’t be sure my decline in health is tied to my lack of selfcare in the mental department but I’m sure it wasn’t helping.

Either way, I am on to trying to be healthier for myself this year. There are a lot of good things I’m trying! I’m investing a lot in trying to get my art stuff up and going again. I’m throwing my hat into new cons around the east coast and haven’t been flat out rejected from any yet, which is pretty uplifting seeing as my portfolio is more sparse than I want it to be. I met a lot of awesome new artists at toracon and I’m hoping to see some more artist friends if I make it into any other cons this year. I’m unapologetically into liking what I like rn. (trying not to think about what ppl think about my over tweeting art for what I like etc) I opened a DBA for my sister and I to do more collab stuff and help her take on bigger projects without it messing up her ssi. We have been brainstorming lots of fun ideas and are looking to turn part of the basement into studio space we can work out of. I’m sketching lots of new ideas for apparel designs and I will hopefully get my webcomic and store going by the summer.

A lot of the good things in the works also hinge on how my physical health is, and I’m hoping to keep that looking better as well. ;w; Once we have more stable weather it should help. I lost about 10-15lbs from sleeping through meals or being too nauseous to eat, but once we have warmer weather I want to do a morning walk and eat something more regularly. I think a more stable schedule will help out too. It just gets thrown out of whack when you have to stay in bed cause moving makes your head throb. ;w;

Writing all this down is cathartic for me in a way. like typing a little plan or update to myself. Even seeing post memories come up from past years like “I have a bad headache” reminds me I’ve been dealing with this longer than even I think I have been and I’m not crazy. This whole thing is discombobulated, but its a snapshot in my life for now.

Reminding myself to rest, that I’m not crazy, that good things are to come~

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alejandramdcblog · 1 year

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FINAL CURATED PORTFOLIO.

1) LINE

- Horizontal and Vertical Lines

2) SHAPE- CHAOS & ORDER

- Chaos

- Order

3) BLACK ON WHITE & WHITE ON BLACK

- Black on White

- White on Black

4) 3 COLOR THAT BECOME 4

5) VIBRATING EDGES

6) PAGES FROM SKETCHBOOK

7) MUSEUM

—WORK

— GLASS-2

8) MIDTERM

9) FINAL ASSIGNMENT

— Album Cover: Queen

— Book Cover: The Bazaar of Bad Dreams Stories by Stephen King

10) PAGES FROM YOUR SKETCHBOOK

ARTIST STATEMENT

— This was my first art class since starting college. My learning experiences this year was a lot and I am happy with what i accomplish and learn this year with this class. Learning black and white (example. Lines) and how to color was a good experience. The art that i did some one them and most of them i am proud but some of them i know it needs better work. The wonderful teacher that i had this year also help me with my art and critique me for the better and i thank her for that. I want to improve more. I want to talk about my favorite material which was ink, with the assignment in black and white i love using the ink it was amazing and i love to paint with ink it was a new experience with material for me. With this state my favorite assignment was the last assignment since i get through express my likings through art as a band and a book cover. There was a lot challenges with this assignments and i happy that i can look back and with the nice critique i improve my art for the best of me. I overcame doing an assignment that was the midterm i started poorly with my work but after talking with my professor i use that best and change the hold aspect of the assignment and now i love it. Therefore, i want to say for my future i want to improve on my art work for myself and for the liking of other and hopefully become the animator that i dream to be in the future. Also express myself through my pieces.

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fatal-error-blog · 2 years

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Happy 6th Birthday, Fatal_Error!

Fortunately for him, I've had my hands full with other blog-related projects and tasks, so he gets to enjoy a quiet birthday this year. I hope everyone has been doing well! It's still been pretty quiet on the blog, which isn't awesome, but I've been working on some updates that should hopefully be ready to go out soon, which is awesome! As always I really appreciate everyone's patience with me and I'm just so jazzed to show ya'll what's coming up next. So for Fatal's 6th birthday, I thought it might be interesting to some to share 6 things that have been going on behind the scenes: 1) I FINALLY got a new job! In past posts I've mentioned having to take breaks/step away from the blog quite often in pursuit of job hunting and just general adulting. For those who aren't aware (or maybe are new here - if so, howdy!) I'm not a fulltime comic artist, and I don't rely on this blog or comic as any kind of primary source of income. So I've had to put a lot of energy and time into working on portfolio pieces that aren't just Fatal_Error (although he's in my portfolio, gotta represent!), putting in job applications, going to interviews (if lucky enough to get one), all of which takes a pretty tremendous mental strain and a lot of focus. And I've been at it for...like more than 2 years, lol. But I've finally gotten a new job, I start Monday, and I'm stoked! I'm going to have a lot more freetime to dedicate back into the comic and I couldn't be happier, because things in my opinion are about to get good. 2) The second volume of the graphic novel is almost ready for preorder! At this point I'm wrapping up the bonus comic (that those who get the second volume will see first, and will be posted online for free soon after), finishing up resizing some stuff, and just finalising the bonus preorder item and some items I want to release at the same time (like how I did with the stickers and poster last time). I'm aiming to open preorders in like, mid April. 3) In needing to plan ahead for future volumes, I have definitively figured out that there will be NINE chapters of the story in total, meaning that as soon as Chapter Five is done it's all downhill from there! We're almost at the finish line for the story!! 4) For those interested, I've been working on some Etsy shop updates with FE related items, because I haven't really added anything new in a while. Ideally it'd be nice to have them ready around the time that volume two is available but we'll see! 5) The Bluescreen Event is almost here! I've mentioned this before but Bluescreen is a side comic that I've always wanted to release as quick daily or every-other-day updates for as long as the side comic goes on for. This unfortunately requires me to have all the updates ready to go, otherwise I risk running out of updates before I can catch up. But I'm excited that it's almost ready! It's one of my favorite side comics and I think ya'll will enjoy it too. More on that later! 6) This summer (Summer 2022) I want to finally wrap up what had been started for Fatal's 5th birthday. So stay tuned ;) And that's all for now! I'm gonna keep working so I'll be able to update the story as soon as possible. Have a great day, folks!

#xed has something to say #fatal error birthday #6th birthday #fatal error #bluescreen #xedra art

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groovyzombiellama · 3 years

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The Golden/Stylish Trio

Title: The Golden/Stylish Trio

Requested? Yes.

Plot: You are an actress and shoot a project with Alex and Bill and the two of them have a crush on you.

Word count: 1617

—***—

Ever since you were a child, you knew that you wanted to be an actress, and it didn’t matter how many people told you that you shouldn’t dream so high and that you were gonna fail, that just made you want to work more just to prove them wrong. You were constantly told that you wouldn’t have enough work, and that being an actress is stressful and difficult. Of course you knew that, in their own way every job is difficult, but you didn’t mind it because you knew that you would have difficult moments, but you were ready for whatever that world had to throw at you, because at least that way, you would be doing something you love. You had the support of your immediate family, like your parents in the first place, and so you decided to take a chance and start your path towards making your dreams come true.

At first you had it quite difficult, not really being what the casting agent was looking for, both in terms of character and in your lack of experience. You had sleepless nights thinking about how you were supposed to gather experience when nobody wanted to give you a chance to gain any of it. And you expected this, so it wasn’t a surprise to you, and it just motivated you to do better and go to some classes and stuff, but that doesn’t mean getting rejected so many times didn’t hurt you. There were times where you would feel like the people who told you that you wouldn’t be able to make it were right and that you should just give up and go back home. Your family was alright with you coming back and going to college for something else, but just like your friends, they believed that you could do it and that every beginning is hard, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t succeed. And indeed, with patience, it started happening, you started getting cast.

Of course, you wouldn’t be able to get a lead role right off the bat, but you were getting work as eather a background character, or a very minor character that maybe had one or two lines. And even though it was something small and didn’t mean a lot of camera time, you were still extatic and extremly grateful and happy to even be getting any work at all. Your portfolio was growing, your list of work experience was becoming longer and longer, and a lot of casting agents saw your passion and dedication to acting, to the point where you even got cast as a supporting character in a movie, the so called “best friend trope”, and your lines consisted of pep talks and you were honestly just there to lift up the lead character. But it was the longest time you had spent in front of the camera so far and the most speaking lines you had gotten, so to say you were grateful and excited would be understatements.

You had no idea where all of this was gonna take you, but you were so proud of yourself for not giving up on your dreams. You even sent tickets for that movie to your cousins who didn’t believe you could make it and some of the people who bullied you and said you would never amount to nothing. It wasn’t to spite them, not too much anyway, because you never were a person to hold a grudge or feel good if others are feeling down. You just wanted to tell them that hard work will always pay off and that hard work can beat talent if talent doesn’t work hard. You were getting recognized and it was blowing your mind to be walking down the street and hear people talking about you as you pass them, guessing if you were the girl they had seen in that movie. And it made you smile every time. Eventually you ended up getting an e-mail that changed your life in a drastic way. A huge gig, bigger than any you have had before, with actors that you admired.

You had known Bill Skarsgård from his role as Roman Godfrey in Hemlock Groove, and as the iconic clown, Pennywise, in the most recent IT movies. And when your agent told you that he was gonna be one of your costars, you had to sit down, as your legs felt like they were gonna give out. He always seemed like a truly pleasant person to be around and an actor who really cares about the craft. And his good looks were just a bonus to a very amazing person. And that was the case for your other costar who once again gave you that feeling that you were gonna collapse if you keep standing. The Ivar the Boneless from Vikings, Victor from Outsiders, Alex Høgh Andersen. Alex always had the appeal as a literal ray of sunshine to you and it made your head feel dizzy to be working with them at all, and even when you met them, you couldn’t believe it was true.

Both Bill and Alex found you adorable as you tried not to fangirl around them, and be your cool self, or at least what you thought was cool. Bill had known about you as he had watched one of the movies you were in and he admired the way you put everything you had into your character, so he already knew some things about you, but even with that, you had managed to amaze him beyong belief. To Alex. meeting you was completely new territory, but he was enjoying every second of it, seeing the way every part of you contained the character you were supposed to potray. Even your eyes would show the emotion your character was supposed to be feeling that both men were dangerously close to apologising to you the moment they looked into your eyes as you were filming a scene where you were supposed to have a disagreement or fight.

Both Alex and Bill felt like they were learning a lot from you, as much as you were learning from them. And your vibrant personality, combined with that smile of yours were enough for them to develp crushes on you. It amazed them that neither one of them was able to say anything to you, that when it came to you, they would feel nervous or get tongue tied. When the two of them were talking and you came up, the shock on both of their faces, wide eyed expressions were almost comical as they realised the second they started talking about you that they had crushes on you. They didn’t want to make this a rivalry between them and try to win you over from one or the other. They were gonna leave the choice to you if you ever developped feelings for one of them and the other was gonna support you both. But that didn’t stop them from admiring you constantly and gushing about you in interviews and to each other.

As more time passed, the more the three of you started getting closer, so much so that they put up with the silly nicknames that you gave them and even though Billy and Lexie weren’t their favorite, and they honestly prefered some of your more creative nicknames, or standard “love” or “hun” that you loved calling people who were important to you, they cared about you enough to accept you just the way you were, which meant the world to you. Bill’s brother Gustaf was really glad that his costar from Vikings was friends with his brother, because the cast of the show had become like his second family in a way, and now you were a very dear friend to all of them.

Every interview that you did with these boys was a blast, you would always have fun and if they even sensed that you were feeling uncomfortable with a question or something, the both of them would create a diversion, as you woke up in them the feeling to be protective over you, but not too much that you feel suffocated, but just enough for people to know that you were not someone to mess with, both because of you being a strong and independent woman, and also because you had the two of them who had your back as much you had theirs. You three were truly a great trio, and your friendship was one that you were sure was for the books and that it was gonna last.

Regardless of the fact that their crushes were growing by the day and often times they had to stop themselves from spending entire interviews talking about you, they never forced you into anything, or tried to convince you that one of them was better for you than the other. And their biggest pet peeve was when you didn’t believe in yourself and always claimed that “people were just too kind to you” whenever someone complimented you, because they just wanted you to know that to them you were absolutely amazing and to so many people who were fans of you. But they appreciated that you were kinda using that to keep your humble nature, worried that if you started giving yourself that much credit, you would become vain and too self absorbed. They were thankful that they met you and hoped your friendship lasted a long time, even if nothing more developped from it. You were the Golden Trio, named by the entertainement industry, or the Stylish Trio as fans started calling you after Alex’s post, and you were happy with it.

---***---

SURPRISE @walkxthexmoon !! You wanted either one of aus that I do, but you were always sweet to me and kind, that you get all of it, written, gif and social media au :D <3 I truly hope you like it :)

I appreciate all of you guys and thank you all for your follows, likes, reblogs, I’ll never be able to thank you all enough. Every time I get an e-mail telling me someone followed me, it makes my entire week better and keeps me motivated! So thank you to all of you, I love you all so much, and if people are nice to me I do my damnest to be 10x nicer, because you deserve it back, so this fic took a lot longer to make than I thought, and hopefully it’s a good one and you guys like it, and just once again, I appreaciate all of you <3

#alex høgh andersen #alex hoegh andersen #alex hogh andersen #alex hogh imagine #alex hogh x reader #alex hogh andersen imagine #alex hogh andersen x reader #alex hogh andersen x bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard #bill skasgård #bill skarsgard imagine #bill skarsgård imagine #bill skarsgard au #alex hogh andersen au #alexhøghandersen

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getouisms · 4 years

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[ - 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒

𝐂𝐇 𝟎𝟓 - Loud Laughs

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: Y/n, a 22 year old successful model is tired of the tabloids shaming her about her dating status when she’s seen out with her friends. Unsure of what to do to stop the gossip, Oikawa suggests a fake boyfriend. Fortunately, Kenma knows the perfect person who’d go for an idea as stupid as that one.

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 … 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 … 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

“You’re being stupid,” you whisper to your reflection, watching your hands shake from nerves.

It’s stupid to be so nervous after spending almost the entire day with Kuroo yesterday and feeling so relaxed. Is it because you’re going to be one on one with him? Kenma was there yesterday, easing most of the tension if there was any. A soft sigh left your lips as you walked away going to your bedroom, deciding to at least be in a comfortable spot for this phone call.

He didn’t have to call; you mull over as you lie down. You don’t call to talk to your friends about their day often unless it’s a bad one. He’s probably nicer and calls his friends. A smile finds its way to your lips upon thinking that maybe he’s only nice like this with you. You wipe that away quickly, shrugging the thought off and dismissing it. He is just a friend, and you have no business getting into anything like that, anyway.

The phone vibrating against the soft comforter interrupts your train of thought. Swallowing the lump of nervousness, you pick it up and accept the call.

“Hello,” you start, voice laced with a thin veil of nervousness.

“Hey,” Kuroo’s voice sounds deeper on the phone, but he sounds relaxed, tired even.

It took his voice to wash over you for you to relax. Reminding yourself that no, it wasn’t Kenma that made you feel so comfortable, but Kuroo who made you feel relaxed. Any nervousness went out the window when he almost snorted Sprite out his nostrils.

“How was work? You sound tired,” you comment, smiling as he chuckles; laying back against the mattress.

“God, it was good but tiring. I want to hear about your work instead,” he asks, making you hum out faintly as you look over your nails.

“There isn’t a lot to it, really. I have a gig tomorrow, which consists of taking pictures and following pose guidelines. The rest of it is maintaining brand deals or updating my portfolio, auditions, socializing with fans, always looking marketable pretty much,” you conclude. A thoughtful hum fills your ear from the other side.

“Does the drama prevent you from appearing marketable?” Kuroo asks, and you can’t help but note the genuine curiosity in his tone.

It’s not like no one has taken an interest in your profession, but it is the first time someone’s cared enough to ask questions. Or appear genuinely interested besides seeing you model or asking if any other models are single. It’s pleasurable to have someone ask you about the in’s and out’s of your job.

“Not really? It is embarrassing when people I work with are dragged into it, but they understand, it’s not their first rodeo with a model. It’s a personal annoyance above anything else,” you mumble, sighing out quietly but feel a small smile returning once his warm laugh fills the microphone.

“Why are you laughing?” your smile turned into a laugh as you ask.

“I just got the mental image of a rumor about you and Kenma dating,” his laughs wheeze as they break up his sentence.

You already know he has a loud laugh that people could perceive as obnoxious, but his laugh only encouraged your own. It’s nice to laugh alongside him, plus he says nothing about your own loud laugh. He couldn’t say anything really, he sounded a little demonic if it was a laugh from the gut you’ve noticed.

“Oh my god, he’d stop being my friend for sure,” You laugh alongside him.

Your laughter continues for a few more moments, but when it quiets down, it isn’t awkward on either end. Your stifled laughter fills the call with little small giggles as you go back and forth telling one another to cut it out. Your laugh makes him laugh, you’ve noticed. When his laugh cools down, and you laugh, his laughter starts right back up again.

It took you both a few extra minutes to get yourselves together, but eventually, the stifled laughter turned into silence. A comfortable silence, and finally, Kuroo clears his throat with a relieved sigh.

“I thought my stomach was going to fall out from how funny that was,” He comments, making you giggle softly.

“Kenma’s hilarious, that’d be a funny situation for him. How long have you guys been friends?” You ask since Kenma didn’t tell you much besides playing volleyball back in high school.

“Since middle school. I didn’t really leave him alone, but he’s the person I can count on for anything. Hopefully, he knows it’s the same in return,” Kuroo mumbles, and you can hear the smile in his voice.

You’re nodding along, forgetting he can’t see you, which makes your hand slap across your forehead; a small wince spreading across your face.

“I can’t believe we haven’t been introduced,” you smoothly deliver, but you can hear the faint chuckle on the other line when the slap reverberates through the microphone. If he heard it, he won’t say anything.

“He’s a private guy, I didn’t even know he was friends with you. Bokuto almost passed out since you’re his favorite model,” Kuroo chuckles out, making you laugh softly.

“Atsumu is on his team, I can’t believe he didn’t tell Bokuto we were friends either. I’d like to meet your friends sometime,” your voice comes out hopeful, a hum of agreement emits.

“You can meet them anytime. How about your friends? I need details on Kenma’s secret life,” Kuroo’s voice raises out of intrigue, making you playfully roll your eyes with a growing smile.

“I met Kenma by tweeting that I really liked his stream, and he thanked me for the support, and I guess I grew on him. Tendou I’ve known since we were kids, our moms are friends, he’s that friend you can make peace signs with and cry taking selfies,” Kuroo’s laughter makes you pause, a faint flutter of your heart has you skipping a beat, “Oikawa and I met at a networking event. His agent wanted him to model my agent was trying to market me, and we both ended up meeting and hitting it off. Atsumu actually slid into my DMs to ask me on a date, I rejected him but we became great friends,” you finish, smiling at his faint laughter.

“I admire the guy for staying your friend after being rejected. They sound cool, I’d like to meet Kenma’s double life friends. He’s like Hannah Montana, I feel like Lily when she found out,” he sounds remorseful, voice wavering to not laugh at his own joke, but thankfully your laugh covered it.

“You can meet Kenma’s secret organization of friends. They’re all amazing, I just have to give Atsumu a stern talking-to since he can be an asshole sometimes,” you mention, voice soft.

“Protective asshole or just an asshole? He can’t be as bad as Kenma,” Kuroo jokes, it doesn’t fall flat on you.

“Protective. He’s smelly, but he’s one of my most cherished friends,” your voice is soft still, Kuroo matches it.

“I know we called to talk about our day, but I’m glad Kenma introduced me to you. Talking to you is relaxing,” he pauses, you feel your cheeks heat, “it was crazy in the office today so you took the edge off if that makes much sense,” he finishes.

“It makes sense, I’m glad Kenma introduced me to you too,” you agree.

“Awesome, talking to you saves me time from listening to Boyfriend by Big Time Rush for some stress relief,” he sighs out, as if genuinely relieved.

You didn’t know, but he grins on the other side of the phone upon hearing your loud laugh.

𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭: Kuroo told Y/n one chemistry joke, don’t believe atoms they make up everything, and she did laugh.

𝐚/𝐧: Greetings!! So this was a fun write, don’t be shy send me asks and let me know your thoughts! I love reading all your comments it’s so fun thank you guys for reading!!

𝐭𝐚�� 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 [𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃]: @tepescelsius @elianetsantana @honeymoneyy @a-wannabeweeb @oceanblooming @princeabomination @kagebunshiin @tadashi-simp @unicorngluttony @tamaguchi @sunflowerirl @snowsmuse @cherrytiara @tsukkisbean @iwaizoom @aegeanblues @angyboibakugo @manic-punker @miyayassy @kozumecuddles @starry-magicshop @agaashesmilktea @amarillyis @saturnfarie @yamaita @ptv-hades @runningwitches @missalienqueen @fo-love @shiningstar-byulxx @appleciderslut @amberisnotcrazy @drizzlenfizzle002 @satorisupremacy @vicassa @angrylittleriri @vyisa @boosyboo9206 @skylarkalchemist @yeahhemmings- @akaashikeijisthighs @bellesowl @yakus-yakult @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @heyyourecute @fi16ns @yuuuumiiin @carpecaelo @awkwardly-anxious-latte @crybabbicus @felix-issimus

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oveliagirlhaditright · 3 years

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The Mom Friend

Yeah… though Neku had certainly never signed up to be these four’s mom—and he still had no idea how that had happened—he now knew he wouldn’t change it for the world. Oneshot. Canon compliant. Mom friend Neku. Neo spoilers.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33385999

At first, if you had asked Neku if he had become the mom friend of the Wicked Twisters, he would have laughed in your face.

Because while he would admit he loved the youngins’—and was very protective of them—some old habits of wanting to be cool, and being somewhat rough around the edges, died hard.

But it was with Nagi that Neku finally realized that this was the case.

The girl had decided to go vegetarian, but her body was rejecting not having a lot of protein and thus needed something like nuts this very instance? Who was it but Neku, who went out to buy her some, at near three o’clock in the morning (because he was a good friend and had expanded his horizons that much), since her parents had recently died in a car crash and they could no longer do it for her, the poor girl.

So, Neku crept into Nagi’s dorm window around one-forty-five-ish—which, looking back on it, probably hadn’t been a good idea and could have scared his friend. But, hey: Neku had gotten used to being in the Game. And the week that Coco brought him back before he ran into Beat, he’d been in hiding, and had maybe gotten used to the idea some; and Nagi didn’t seem spooked, so maybe her mind was still stuck on sneaking around in the Reapers’ Game, too—and Nagi took the food out of Neku’s hands like it was the easiest thing in the world before ruffling his hair.

“Much obliged, Lord Neku,” she said as she fixed her glasses in this dim lighting, so she could see him better. Or so Neku guessed. “Now, hopefully, I can feel better enough, that I can work on my essay about the Canterbury Tales. …No one knows such suffering as me,” Nagi moaned, before going back to her bed and starting on the cashews.

“No, problem,” Neku said then—feeling sort of awkward, as he went to mess with a pair of headphones that were no longer on his person anymore—“if you need help with it… I, uhh, guess I could try and lend a hand. I have university coming up soon, too. And I know they’ll have me doing some English stuff, so…”

“Unless you want to be bored to tears, I suggest that you not make such a promise, unless your heart knows little joy,” Nagi warned him.

And Neku didn’t have to be told twice. So, he did backout of helping her with that paper.

But he knew when he visited Shiki soon—and she asked him what he’d been up to—she would still tease him about being the mom friend, for going out and buying protein for Nagi in the wee hours of the morning.

…

And it continued on like that… and Neku was somewhat loath to admit it, because hey: he had an image to uphold here.

But then again… maybe not, because if this was him pushing out his borders as far as they would go—as Mr. H had instructed him to do three years ago—Neku knew he would gladly do so… even at the risk was being called a “mom”, and even an “old maid”, or something.

Right now, Rindo had severely hurt his ankle… and who was he holding onto as they hobbled away, with designs to get him to a hospital? Neku.

“This is the last time I ever try something from the 90’s again!” Rindo complained, as Neku was half-carrying him to his car now (and how nice it was, that Neku could drive now—from memories of another him that hadn’t lost such formative years—that Joshua had implanted into his head).

“Yeah, Rindo… scooters were cool and everything—yours truly had one—but even I don’t know why you decided to try and bring them back now of all times… Especially since they had a bad habit of spinning right back around and nailing you in the ankle… which you know all too well now,”

And godamnit. Neku really had become the mom friend, huh, if he was now telling his younger friend this venture had been dangerous from the get-go, and how he could have easily seen that if he’d tried to?

Neku pulled on one of his spikes, irritated with himself here, but tried not to show Rindo, lest he think he was mad at him.

“Well, I’d thought about getting a motor scooter,” Rindo explained, Neku loading his pal into his backseat now. “So, I think that’s what got scooters on my brain… But I was trying to be green, and still think of a faster way to catch things in FanGo than walking! And now look where it got me. Oy! …But I guess I shouldn’t be complaining. This should be the least of my problems, when just a few weeks ago I was fighting for you guys’ survival, huh?”

And Rindo paused in where he’d been about to put a hand over his eyes, to peek at Neku now who was currently getting into the driver’s seat—as if he was asking for the past Living Legend to remind the new one to have his priorities straight.

“For real,” Neku told Rindo, whilst he started to pull away now. “When I got out, I was mostly thinking about the Game… about what Joshua did, and how even then, I still trusted him but couldn’t forgive him. And I was so excited to finally meet up with my friends—to finally have some and care about that—be glad, Rindo, that you got out with your friends, and there’s so much trust between you. Like there is between Josh and I now.”

And Rindo set down his phone then—apparently like he had when he first met Shoka in the RG—like he was really listening to what Neku had to say, and he had to appreciate that.

And it might have been his imagination… but Neku could have sworn he saw a flash of blue nodding his head at Neku’s words, as it sat back there with the injured Rindo.

…

The next time Neku ended up being the “mom” for someone in the Wicked Twisters, after the Game, it was with Fret.

It was towards the end of his and Rindo’s sophomore year of high school…

Fret had been ecstatic to come back to life, Neku had known, and wasn’t wasting his second chance. He had really thrown himself into his studies, Rindo had told Neku in private (quite proudly, Neku might add).

If he could keep it up, he would probably even be able to graduate early. And talent scouts were looking at him, Neku had been told: towards a kid who hadn’t strived that hard in school, but now was and excelling because of it.

Naturally, Fret had decided that his calling was fashion—everyone who had been playing the Reapers’ Game with him would have gathered just how much he loved clothes—and apparently he had really thrown himself into designing towards the end of the year, and was trying to put a portfolio together for Jupiter of the Monkey to look at: who the school was suggesting he try and intern with, as they had some connections with (and damn, if Neku didn’t wish he’d gone to Fret and Rindo’s school now, being a huge J of the M fan himself).

Part of Neku wondered why Fret just didn’t try to intern with Shiki during his senior year, but perhaps it was because he was afraid Shiki would just give him the position because they were friends and not because she really thought he was talented.

Anyway… Fret hadn’t gotten the internship. J of the M had said the Fret should try to use less color (you know what? Maybe Neku didn’t like them very much anymore…).

And since then… Fret had seemed to give up on his dream of being a fashion designer, and was trying to be an actor.

And, look: Neku had no problem if him wanting to do both, if he thought he could do it and this was really what Fret wanted… though call him crazy, but he felt like something else was at work here: something that Neku and Shiki had both experienced before.

So, Neku had sat Fret down to talk about it at Ken Doi’s—away from the filmmakers who were currently trying to film in Dogenzaka, that Fret had just been a part of—and laid it all out on the table, “It’s okay… to get Imposter Syndrome. I’ve had it before with my art. Even Shiki has before. But if you want to be an artist, you’re going to fall down a few times… Fret, I feel like you don’t want to be an actor, so much as you don’t mind people dinging your acting, because that isn’t something you care about as much as your designing.”

And after Neku had spoken, Fret somehow looked both like Neku had made him had an epiphany he hadn’t quite realized, and like Neku had stumbled upon the horrible truth he hadn’t wanted anyone to figure out.

Neku took a bite of the yummy curry that Ken Doi had been kind enough to make just for him, after he’d brought Joshua around recently (he’d said he’d missed the two of them. Go figure), and let Fret get his bearings.

And now he was sighing, and running a hand through his hair, much like Neku often did. Neku smiled, finding it hard not to sympathize.

“Oh, man. I really do have to get back into fashion, huh?”

“You do,” Neku agreed, wondering what wonderful articles of clothing Fret might come up with for him to wear in the future. Shoka, too. Really, with those two and Shiki and Eri, Neku had it made in the clothes department, and he was not complaining. “And it’ll be hard sometimes. But most things in life worth gaining are.”

And when Fret smiled back at him, Neku knew he’d made some progress here—which was good—and then he did one thing that was decidedly not mom-like, and let Fret get the bill. Why? Because Neku was a starving college student at this point, and Fret still had parents who paid for stuff for him.

…

And then the last person who needed Neku’s help (…for now, he guessed. Because apparently this was a full-time gig. And at this point, Neku wasn’t complaining because he happily would have taken custody of all the Wicked Twisters long ago if he could’ve), was Shoka.

…Who was freaking out after Rindo having tried to give her a promise ring and wasn’t at all being her usual FanGo loving self, where Rindo was concerned.

And, yeah… Shoka could be a bit of a tsundere sometimes, but Neku felt like the issue ran much deeper.

Neku also happened to see Shoka looking into the mirror a lot lately… And at first, he wondered if she’d become self-conscious like Shiki had been.

But upon hearing the arrogant comments that Shoka still said about herself—that Neku’s surrogate little sister so deserved to say, he thought—he knew that wasn’t the case.

He tried to use a bit of his soul power on her… because it turned out that Neku was strong enough to use it in the RG some, but all that really told the ginger was that it was a deep-rooted issue with Shoka and not what said issue was.

Finally, Neku knew he had to just talk to her.

“Let me in, Shoka,” he urged her—after he’d caught her looking at wedding dresses in her apartment at a group hang-out (it was just the two of them at said hang-out right now; everyone else had gone to get food for everybody). “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

And it was pretty fitting, Neku would later think, that he used Shiki’s old words to him with Shoka here, since she made him think of Shiki some—what with her favorite Mr. Mew hoodie and all. Especially when they’d been in the Game.

And at his question, Shoka sighed—like opening her thoughts to Neku was the biggest burden in the world—and dropped the magazine like it had burned her.

“What?” she demanded, fiddling with the zipper at her neck. “About Rindo? I feel like him wanting to give me a promise ring is silly—and of a time gone by—so of course I told him ‘no’, and give him a hard time about it. Not all of us can be you and Shiki, you know…”

And with that, Shoka seemed content to ignore Neku, and to go boot up her PS5 so she could play the “Stranger of Paradise” demo.

And, hey: more power to her—Neku thought it looked sick, too—but no way was he letting her get off that easily. “That’s a lie, Shoka, and we both know it. So, what’s really going on here?”

Shoka was sighing once more now—as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders. And it probably was, with this tragic girl—but she shuffled on the couch closer to Neku, which he saw as a good sign. “Fine… I guess I should have known that I couldn’t lie to Mr. Soul-Reader… I just- I feel I look too much like them: Ayano and my little sister. And I know it’s dumb, but I worry about it.

“Will I be like Ayano and settle into one thing? Like, say I get really into being Rindo’s girlfriend here… but I force myself to marry him one day, because he really wants that: what if we end up living a loveless life because of that, I didn’t want to tie the knot but forced myself to just because it was what he desired? And since I look like Little Sis… If Rindo and I do end up together, what if I end up dying young like she did and leaving Rindo alone. It’s too much.”

And here Neku had to pull Shoka into a small hug and kiss the crown of her head, whilst he ran calming hands down her arms. Shoka had been through way too much trauma for someone so young. It wasn’t fair. But even with all of that… Neku had to make sure she was sure of one thing right now.

So, he got off the couch and kneeled in front of Shoka, so she was looking into his eyes, and wouldn’t miss how serious this was. “Shoka… you definitely have a lot of baggage there, that I do think you should talk to Rindo about. And I’m so sorry that you’ve lost so much family for someone so young… but know that your family isn’t you. Their lives aren’t yours, nor are the things that they did. The things you do are going to be totally different from them, and you have to make those decisions for yourself. Got it?”

“Okay, Neku,” Shoka allowed, while she helped to pull Neku back up now. And she seemed to be blushing a little… but that was okay, because so was he. Neku may have been the mom of this little group, but big declarations of the heart like that could still be hard for him.

“Thanks!” Shoka beamed, before throwing herself at Neku to give him a quick hug this time.

And Neku laughed slightly. “No problem. Now, what do you say we get super far in this awesome demo before our friends get back, for being losers in forgetting to take us with them to get the food?”

“I think that sounds like a pretty sweet deal!” Shoka agreed, already pulling away from Neku and going for the controller.

Yeah… though Neku had certainly never signed up to be these four’s mom—and he still had no idea how that had happened—he now knew he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Especially when the rest of his children came back happy—which was always a perfect sight to see—and Shoka did end up working things out with Rindo.

It was a wonderful world, indeed.

Author’s Note: Yeah, I’m headcanoning here that the last Dive that you do (not counting Rhyme) for the little ghost from Shinjuku was Shoka’s sister.

Hope you all enjoyed!

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