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curiousemwanders · 1 year

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FIC REC: Twist Of Fate

Twist of Fate by Oakstone730

Okay I have a lot to say about this fic and I’m going to try and say it in a way that makes sense. (AKA this is a long post!)

I often pick long fics to read at work between appointments with clients, and I read this over the last three days at work and after work because I literally couldn’t put it down. I finished last night and spent a good amount of the night still thinking about it. I’m going to start with the only negative thing I have to say about this fic, which isn’t really even a negative, but it’s that maybe it should be rated Mature, not Teen. There are a few scenes that were just a tad too steamy for me to be reading between appointments with clients. In any other context, I would not call that a downside.

We choose fics to read for all sorts of reasons; we want to see our favorite characters in different scenarios, we wish they hadn’t died, we feel the author has wronged them, or misunderstood them, we want plot holes to be fixed, we don’t like the jobs chosen for them in that god awful epilogue. In more recent years, I think that many of us who read Harry Potter fan fiction have strayed further from the original source material for some of these reasons. It’s so much easier to read a fic that re-writes their adult lives, that established the characters and their identities in ways that place them in direct opposition to the hateful politics and ideas that J.K. Rowling has begun to espouse. And I think this is right, I think it’s good that fic authors are doing this. However it often leads me to avoid, or ignore works that play more directly in the world that Rowling created. I don’t mean the wizarding world, I mean the canon. It often feels that the works that play in the canon, that build upon them, are however subtly accepting Rowling's ideas, her hatred. I know this to be faulty logic, projection of my fears onto the fic. But I would be lying if I didn’t say it’s stopped me from reading some, many, works. Including the great many works created before we knew just how despicable Rowling really is.

I preface with that information to say that I don’t often read stories that build in the canon rather than rewrite it or use it as a backdrop that the characters are recovering, evolving from. This fic of course does play in the cannon, it expands it, and at points does use it as a backdrop for character recovery. What I find so interesting about the way Oakstone730 writes this story, is the way they’ve interwoven their plot, their ideas, their character growth, with the canon, with what we already know of the story. And I do mean that they wove the story through the already existing canon.

I suppose this is the point that a succinct summary of the fic would be useful (I’ll try to keep it as spoiler free as possible, but read at your own risk). In Twist of Fate Oakstone730 begins with a prologue set during the trials after the war Harry learns that he not only lost significant memories, but that he also isn’t a virgin, or as straight, as he currently thinks himself to be. What’s more, that he likely had been having sex with his boyhood nemesis Draco Malfoy, who is currently on trial for war crimes. The story then begins in earnest with the Quidditch world cup where Harry and Cedric talk a bit about sexuality (important to note that Cedric is also gay in this fic). At Hogwarts, after hearing that Harry can resist the Imperius curse, Draco seeks him out, offering to help him in potions if he can help Draco learn how to also throw an Imperius. Harry gets Cedric involved in order to help them, and to protect himself. And slowly, over the course of several chapters, we see them begin to build a friendship, and eventually fall in love. We don’t get any hint of why Draco would erase Harry’s memories of him, at least not until Harry begins Occlumency training with Snape. It then becomes clear, for those of us who remember the books, that Voldemort could use Harry’s memories of Draco against him. This fact isn’t made fully clear to either of them until the summer before 6th year when things become untenable for Draco.

What I love so much about the writing and storytelling in Twist of Fate is that it takes canon and says ‘yeah, that’s what Harry remembered, let me show you what really happened.’ There were so many parts where I would sit wondering ‘is this where we’re going to break from canon?’ AND ‘how are you going to explain this part of the story?’ Each time the answer was, no, Oakstone730 never broke from canon, and each time I was amazed by how they were able to weave what happened in their story through the canon in ways that not only made sense plot-wise, but made thematic sense to the original canon and to this new version. One of the best examples of this in my reading was how the second task was handled during the Triwizard Tournament. Go back and read it, it’s masterful.

Along with this reading, we get a much more complex story of our characters, we see Cedric as someone who wasn’t happy-go-lucky perfect, but as someone with texture, with a boyfriend he didn’t get to see often, dreams of being a mindhealer, skills he certainly used with Harry and Draco. We see Draco not only as an ex-Deatheater in a story of redemption (as in many excellent Drarry fics), but as someone who is actively unlearning the cultish and unequal upbringing he was raised in. I find that struggle is often hard to write, and subsequently to find. Further we see him engage in the actions many of us wish he could have taken in the canon, acting as a spy, helping the Order from the inside. And most notably, he does this without even the thought that we would survive. Draco too is a woven character, playing the nemesis when needed, but showing to us, the readers, his true colors.

Harry’s character in this is another amazing example of both adding delicious complexity and the masterful weaving I discussed above. When we read the canon, we often see Harry as this boy who has experienced so much complex trauma, who can be so observant, but also so obtuse and unable to express himself. This fic takes that and shows us another way to interpret it. Instead of a boy who wasn’t able to express himself, we see him with Cedric and Draco actually processing his trauma, building resilience, and most importantly, being happy. And we see that when those memories are erased from him, his skills for managing stress, for understanding himself and others becomes blunted again. We see him unable to control his magic, unable to let his friends in, to tell others about himself, to the extent that he runs away and goes into hiding.

All together this fic was amazing to read, and I truly appreciate the ways it built upon the characters and the story. I love it not only for the simple joy of reading it (oh god I didn’t even mention the delicious angst!), but because I can see the depth of skill it took to write this story, and I can't help but be mesmerized by it.

#Long post #fic rec #drarry

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thewickerking · 2 years

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forgot why i avoid the rwde tag... like i wanted to get other opinions from ppl critiquing rwby bc i do it myself all day long and can surely miss some things and its good to keep ur mind open etc etc.

but somebody said smn along the lines of "if rwby had come out five years earlier i wouldnt claim its as homophobic as it is" (???? awful start) "but rwby came out in 2013. you know what else started airing in 2013?? Steven universe. korrasami become canon in 2014. Something about garnet in 2015. rwby has no excuse" LIKE WHAT.... yall gay marriage wasnt even legalized in the us like....

im not defending the homophobia of cast and crew members behind rwby and whatnot but theres very little homophobia in the actual show (i am not talking about promotional material or queerbait type discussions i just mean the actual show by itself) like theres not nothing, like jaunes man in a dress thing in volume 2 wasnt great and there couldve been a much better introduction of ilia and reveal of her being a lesbian (but ultimately shes like. a misguided teen who makes mistakes and changes for the better in like. a single season) and im sure some other tidbits im missing but like.

rwby isnt super homophobic ??? and saying its only bad cause it came out at the same time as steven universe but wouldve been ok if it was older is so??? bizarre???? like steven universe discourse aside (pls do not send me asks about steven universe) like. steven universe got censored and cut short for being as explicitly gay as it was. hell the owl house is having the same thing done to it right now, several years later.

anyways ive got a long list of issues with rwby i will recite at the slightest inclination someone wants to hear it, but homophobia isnt an issue i have WITH THE SOURCE MATERIAL, EXTERNAL MATTERS ASIDE (thats a whole other can of worms) and its such a footnote compared to other issues

oh also i scrolled a few posts down after quitting reading that post and they wrre having a conversation about someone on twitter posting an image of harley quinn and poison ivy with an editted image of crackers next to them and they said the tweet was ignorant bc of harley being jewish and implied the only reason harley quinn is pale is bc of the toxic chemicals she jumped in like..... shes literally blonde with blue eyes like yes shes jewish but shes still white and jewish people arent a different race.... why would you act like they are and frame it as progressive like. you do realize not considering factually white jewish as white is like. beginners antisemitism talking point..... like im not jewish so please let me know if im overstepping but harley quinn is white and i dont think someone calling her a cracker is suddenly antisemitic (if you disagree i am completely open to listening)

#i cant stand rwby critics i cant stand rwby fans the slim group of rwby fans i can stand are either my friends or the 4 rwby fans i follow #homophobia mention #antisemitism #ask to tag further?#.ares

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jonathanrook · 2 years

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🎬📺share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order🎮🃏 Then send this to 10 (anon or not, your choice)

fun fact! much like my eighteen page long fanfic rec list, i have a seven page long list of my favorite characters with extensive annotations. i picked ten of them and just copy pasted their entire description. i know this is just a silly ask game and no one really cares but. unfortunately you came to my house w this so you have to deal with the consequences. also here's the emoji key:

bill cipher (gravity falls)😈👹😳💲 i can and will fuck the triangle what are you gonna fucking do about it. i am not immune to tumblr sexyman or goth girls. look, at least i’m not trying to literally humanize him; take the evil bastard triangle or take nothing at all!!! i blame the scene where he steals the teeth from the deer and then puts them back. i also blame alex for being such a good voice actor. regardless i’m walking out into the nevada desert as we speak.

dorian gray (penny dreadful)🏳‍🌈💕😈👹😳👀💲 yea i watch penny dreadful for the plot *fast forwards through scenes dorian isn’t in* anyway every lesbian is legally allowed one real man to be unapologetically attracted to before the government takes notice and begins to tax them and reeve carney is my freebie. also idk if he counts as a monster but i’m saying close enough bc this is my list and i can do whatever i want.

guillermo (wwdits)🏳‍🌈💕😈👀 this man is too fucking pretty that’s illegal. i can’t believe harvey guillen invented gender good for him.

the handler (the umbrella academy)😈😳 mommy? sorry. like, the milf of all time. yea i watch the umbrella academy for the plot *fast forwards through scenes the handler isn't in*

red x (teen titans)💅😈😳💲 this man is transmasc and there’s nothing you can do about it. the sexiest line delivery in the entire show is in x when robin catches him trying to steal the xenothium and locks him in a cage and he goes, “c’mon kid. you don’t really think this little play pen can hold me?” anyway sir my highest score on the bdsm test is brat tam– *i’m taken out back and you hear a single muffled gunshot*

richie (it)🏳‍🌈🧠💕🧸👀🐺💲 absolute definition of character of all time. and you KNOW he can’t go back to childhood what the fuck!!! i would die for this man but ig eddie beat me to it yikes. the first time i watched ch2 i cried about it for twelve hours straight. i think i have grounds to sue muschietti for this unlicensed use of my image ngl.

scene (mymusic)💅🧠💕🧸💲 MY LITERAL BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER! sometimes i forget she’s not actually gay in canon bc it makes sense!! indie and jeff are comphet and flowchart is a creep! open your eyes sheeple!! conversely i think she’s the only character on this list who’s neurodivergent canonically by name so that’s dope! we stan a dyslexic queen whose disability doesn’t weigh her down!!

topher (dollhouse)🧠😈😳 every lesbian is legally allowed one real man to be unapologetically attracted to before the government takes notice and begins to tax them and fran kranz is the reason i have to pay. in this house we ignore the season finales. my boy is alive and there’s nothing you can do about it! this man is my poor little meow meow.

vampire willow (btvs)🏳‍🌈😈👹😳💲 yes she’s her own character. probably my actual gay awakening whoops. the wish?? hello?? you want a puppy miss i can bark. also unsure whether to mark her as real gay or fake gay but willow calls her “evil, skanky, and a little gay” which is a) gender and b) canon enough for me.

will (stranger things)🏳‍🌈🧠💕🧸🐺💲 look my mans is relatable for several reasons but the snow ball scene at the end of s2 was designed specifically to kill me in particular. i believe in will the wise supremacy. he just wanted to play dnd! we’ve all been there! oh god have i been there!!! i cried so hard after s3ep3 that my mom asked me if i’m gay whoops. sexy bitches don’t come out they just talk about how much they like richie tozier and will byers until the people around them take notice.

edit:

#also i'm not sending this to anyone if you want to pretend i'd send it to you send it to yourself on anon #i give you permission #long post #anon #question

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justmenoworries · 3 years

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Not Up For Interpretation - An Essay On Nonbinary - Erasure

(Trigger Warning: Misgendering, Transphobia, Nonbinary-phobia)

If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know this was a long time coming. I’ve made several posts about my frustrations concerning this topic and how much it hurt me just how socially accepted erasing an entire identity still is. While representation marches on and things have become better for nonbinary people as a whole, we still battle with a lot of prejudice - both intentional and unintentional.

In this essay, I want to discuss just how our identities are being erased almost daily, why that is harmful and hurtful and what we all can do to change that.

Chapters:

What does Non-binary mean?

Nonbinary- representation in media

So what’s the problem?

How do we fix it?

1. What Does Non-binary Mean?

Non-binary is actually an umbrella term. It includes pretty much every gender-identity that’s neither one or the other so to speak, for example, agender.

Agender means feeling detachment from the gender spectrum in general. If you’re agender, you most likely feel a distance to the concept of gender as a whole, that it doesn’t define you as a person.

There are many identities that classify under non-binary: There’s gender-fluid (you feel you have a gender, but it’s not one gender specifically and can change), demi-gender (identifying as a gender partially, but not completely) and many others.

Sometimes, multiple non-binary identities can mix and match.

Most non-binary people use they/them pronouns, but like with so many things, it varies.

Some nonbinary-people (like me) go by two pairs of pronouns. I go by both she/her and they/them, because it’s what feels most comfortable at the moment. But who knows, maybe in the future I’ll switch to they/them exclusively or expand to he/him.

There is no one defining non-binary experience. Nb-people are just as varied and different as binary people, who go by one specific gender.

There are non-binary people who choose to go solely by she/her or he/him and that’s okay too. It doesn’t make them any more or less non-binary and their identity is still valid.

If your head’s buzzing a bit by now: That’s okay. It’s a complicated topic and no one expects you to understand all of it in one chapter of one essay.

Just know this: If a person identifies as non-binary, you should respect their decision and use the pronouns they go with.

It’s extremely hurtful to refer to someone who already told you that they use they/them pronouns with she/her or he/him, or use they/them to refer to a person who uses she/her.

Think about it like using a trans-person’s deadname: It’s rude, it’s harmful and it shows complete disrespect for the person.

Non-binary people have existed for a very long time. The concept isn’t new. The idea that there are only two genders, with every other identity being an aberration to the norm, is largely a western idea, spread through colonialism.

The Native American people use “Two-Spirit” to describe someone who identifies neither as a man nor a woman. The term itself is relatively new, but the concept of a third gender is deeply rooted in many Native American cultures.

(Author’s Note: If you are not Native American, please do not use it. That’s cultural appropriation.)

In India, the existence of a third gender has always been acknowledged and there are many terms specifically for people who don’t identify with the gender that was assigned to them at birth.

If you’re interested in learning more about non-binary history and non-binary identities around the world, I’d recommend visiting these websites:

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/History_of_nonbinary_gender

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Gender-variant_identities_worldwide

https://thetempest.co/2020/02/01/history/the-history-of-nonbinary-genders-is-longer-than-you-think/

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/gender-variance-around-the-world

Also, maybe consider giving this book a try:

Nonbinary Gender Identities: History, Culture, Resources by Charlie Mcnabb

2. Non-binary Representation In Media

The representation of non-binary people in mainstream media hasn’t been... great, to put it mildly.

Representation, as we all know, is important.

Not only does it give minorities a chance to see themselves in media and feel heard and acknowledged. It also normalizes them.

For example, seeing a black Disney-princess was a huge deal for many black little girls, because they could finally say there was someone there who looked like them. They could see that being white wasn’t a necessity to be a Disney princess.

Seeing a canonically LGBT+ character in a children’s show teaches kids that love is love, no matter what gender you’re attracted to. At the same time, older LGBT+ viewers will see themselves validated and heard in a movie that features on-screen LGBT+ heroes.

There’s been some huge steps in the right direction in the last few years representation-wise.

Not only do we have more LGBT+ protagonists and characters in general, we’ve also begun to question and call out harmful or bigoted portrayals of the community in media, such as “Bury Your Gays” or the “Depraved Homosexual”.

With that being said: Let’s take a look at how Non-binary representation holds up in comparison, shall we?

This is Double Trouble, from the children’s show “She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power”.

They identify as non-binary and use they/them pronouns. They’re also a slimy, duplicitous lizard-person who can change their shape at will.

Um, yeah.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Did I mention they’re also the only non-binary character in the entire show? And that they’re working with a genocidal dictator in most of the episodes they’re in?

Yikes.

Let’s look at another example.

These three (in order of appearance) are Stevonnie, Smoky Quartz and Shep. Three characters appearing in the kid’s show “Steven Universe” and it’s epilogue series “Steven Universe: Future”.

All of them identify as non-binary and use they/them as pronouns.

Stevonnie and Smoky Quartz are the result of a boy and a girl being fused together through weird alien magic.

Shep is a regular human, but they only appeared in one episode. In an epilogue series that only hardcore fans actually watched.

Well, I mean...

One out of three isn’t that bad, right?

Maybe we should pick an example from a series for older viewers.

Say hello to Doppelganger, a non-binary superhuman who goes by they/them, from the Amazon-series “The Boys”.

They’re working for a corrupt superhero-agency and use their power of shape-shifting to trick people who pose a threat to said agency into having sex with them. And then blackmail those people with footage of said sex.

....

Do I even need to say it?

If you’ve paid attention during the listing of these examples, you might have noticed a theme.

Namely that characters canonically identifying as non-binary are either

supernatural in some way, shape or form,

barely have a presence in the piece of media they’re in,

both.

Blink-and-you-miss-it-manner of representation aside, the majority of these characters fall squarely under what we call “Othering”.

“Othering” describes the practice of portraying minorities as supernatural creatures or otherwise inhuman. Or to say it bluntly: As “The Other”.

“Othering” is a pretty heinous method. Not only does it portray minorities as inherently abnormal and “different in a bad way”. It also goes directly against what representation is actually for: Normalizing.

As a general rule of thumb: If your piece of media has humans in it, but the only representation of non-white, non-straight people are explicitly inhuman... yeah, that’s bad.

So is there absolutely no positive representation for us out there?

Not quite.

As rare as human non-binary characters in media are to find, they do exist.

Here we have Bloodhound! A non-binary human hunter who uses they/them pronouns, from the game “Apex Legends”.

It’s been confirmed by the devs and the voice actress that they’re non-binary.

Nice!

These are Frisk (bottom) and Chara (top) from the game “Undertale”. While their exact gender identity hasn’t been disclosed, they both canonically use they/them pronouns, so it’s somewhere on the non-binary spectrum.

Two human children who act as the protagonist (Frisk) and antagonist (Chara), depending on how you play the game. (Interpretations vary on the antagonist/protagonist-thing, to say the least.)

Cool!

......

And, yep, that’s it.

As my little demonstration here showed, non-binary representation in media is rare. Good non-binary representation is even rarer.

Which is why those small examples of genuinely good representation are so important to the Non-binary community!

It’s hard enough to have to prove you exist. It’s even harder to prove your existence is not abnormal or unnatural.

If you’d like to further educate yourself on representation, it’s impact on society and why it matters, perhaps take a second to read through these articles:

https://www.criticalhit.net/opinion/representation-media-matters/

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/arts/why-on-screen-representation-matters-according-to-these-teens

https://jperkel.github.io/sciwridiversity2020/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2019/05/22/why-is-equal-representation-in-media-important/?sh=25f2ccc92a84

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/why-representation-the-media-matters

3. So What’s The Problem?

The problem, as is the case with so many things in the world, is prejudice.

Actually, that’s not true.

There’s not a problem, there are multiple problems. And their names are prejudice, ignorance and bigotry.

Remember how I said human non-binary representation is rare?

Yeah, very often media-fans don’t help.

Let’s take for example, the aforementioned Frisk and Chara from “Undertale”.

Despite the game explicitly using they/them to refer to both characters multiple times, the majority of players somehow got it into their heads that Frisk’s and Chara’s gender was “up for interpretation”.

There is a huge amount of fan art straight-up misgendering both characters and portraying them as binary and using only he/him or she/her pronouns.

The most egregious examples are two massively popular fan-animated web shows: “Glitchtale”, by Camila Cuevas and “Underverse” by Jael Peñaloza.

Both series are very beloved by the Undertale-fanbase and even outside of it. Meaning for many people, those two shows might be their first introduction to “Undertale” and it’s two non-binary human characters.

Take a wild guess what both Camila and Jael did with Frisk and Chara.

Underverse, X-Tale IV:

(Transcript: “Frisk lied to me in the worst possible way... I... I will never forgive him.”)

Underverse, X-Tale V:

(Transcript: “I-It’s Chara... and it’s a BOY.”)

Glitchtale, My Promise:

(Transcript: (Referring to Frisk) “I’m not scared of an angry boy anymore.”)

Glitchtale, Game Over Part 1:

(Transcript: (Referring to Chara) “It’s ok little boy.”)

This... this isn’t okay.

Not only do both of these pieces of fan-art misgender two non-binary characters, the creators knew beforehand that Frisk and Chara use they/them-pronouns, but made the conscious choice to ignore that.

To be fair, in a video discussing “Underverse”, Jael said that only X-Tale Frisk and Chara, the characters you see in the Underverse-examples above, are male, while the characters Frisk and Chara from the main game remained non-binary and used they/them (time-stamp 10:34).

Still, that doesn’t erase the fact that Jael made up alternate versions of two non-binary characters specifically to turn them male. Or that, while addressing the issue, Jael was incredibly dismissive and even mocked the people who felt hurt by her turning two non-binary characters male. Jael also went on to make a fairly non-binary-phobic joke in the video, in which she equated gender identities beyond male and female to identifying as an object.

Jael (translated): “I don’t care if people say the original Frisk and Chara are male, female, helicopters, chairs, dogs or cats, buildings, clouds...”

That’s actually a very common joke among transphobes, if not to say the transphobe-joke:

“Oh, you identify as X? Well then I identify as an attack helicopter!”

If you’re trans, chances are you’ve heard this one, or a variation of it, a million times before.

I certainly have.

I didn’t laugh then and I’m not laughing now.

(Author’s note: I might be angry at both of them for what they did, but I do not, under any circumstances, support the harassment of creators. If you’re thinking about sending either Jael or Camila hate-mail - don’t. It won’t help.)

Jael’s reaction is sadly common in the Undertale fandom. Anyone speaking up against Chara’s and Frisk’s identity being erased is immediately bludgeoned with the “up for interpretation”-argument, despite that not once being the case in the game.

And even with people who do it right and portray Frisk and Chara as they/them, you’ll have dozens of commenters swarming the work with sentences among the lines of “Oh but I think Frisk is a boy/girl! And Chara is a girl/boy!”

By the way, this kind of thing only happens to Frisk and Chara.

Every other character in “Undertale” is referred to and portrayed with their proper pronouns of she/her or he/him.

But not the characters who go by they/them.

Their gender is “up for interpretation”.

Because obviously, their identity couldn’t possibly be canonically non-binary.

Sadly, Frisk and Chara are not alone in this.

Remember Bloodhound?

And how I said they’d been confirmed as non-binary and using they/them pronouns by both the creators and the voice actress?

It seems for many players, that too translated to “up for interpretation”.

(Transcript: “does it matter what they call him? He, her, it, they toaster oven, it doesn’t matter”)

(Transcript: “I’m like 90 % sure Bloodhound is a dude because he could just sound like a girl and by their age that I’m assuming looks around 10-12 because I’ve known many males who have sounded like a female when they were younger”)

(Transcript: “I don’t care it will always be a He. F*ck that non-binary bullsh*t.”)

(Transcript: “Bloodhound is clearly female.”)

(Transcript: “I’m not calling a video game character they/them”)

(Transcript: “exactly. The face was never fully shown neither was the gender so I’d say it means that the player is Bloodhound. So it’s your gender and you refer to “him” as yourself. It’s like a self insertion in my eyes.”)

So, let me get this straight:

If a character, even a player character, uses she/her or he/him, you can accept it, no questions asked.

But when a character uses they/them, suddenly their identity and gender are “up for interpretation”?

This attitude is also widely prevalent in real life.

Many languages only include pronouns for men and women, with no third option available. Non-binary people are often forced to make up their own terms, because their language doesn’t provide one.

Non-binary people often don’t fit within other people’s ideas of gender, so they get excluded altogether. Worse, non-binary people are often the victims of misgendering, denial of their identity or even straight-up violence when coming out.

People will often tell us that we look like a certain gender, so we should only use one set of gendered pronouns. Never mind that that’s not what we want. Never mind that that’s not who we are.

Non-binary people are also largely omitted from legal documentation and studies. We cannot identify as non-binary at our workplace, because using they/them pronouns is considered “unprofessional”. We don’t have our own bathrooms like men and women do. Our gender is seen as less valid than male and female, so even that basic thing is denied to us. I’ve had to use the women’s restroom my entire life, because if I go into a male restroom, I’ll be yelled at or made fun off or simply get told I took the wrong door. It’s extremely uncomfortable for me and I wish I didn’t have to do it.

And since non-binary people aren’t seen as “real transgender-people”, we often don’t receive the medical care we need. This often renders us unable to feel good within our bodies, because the treatment and help we get is wildly inadequate.

It’s especially horrible for intersex people (people who are born with sex characteristics that don’t fit solely into the male/female category) who are often forced to change their bodies to fit within the male/female gender binary.

And you better believe each of those problems is increased ten-fold for non-binary people of color.

We are ignored and dismissed as “confused”, because of who we are.

Representation is a way for Non-binary people to show the world they exist, that they’re here and that they too have stories to tell.

But how can we, when every character that represents us is either othered, barely there or gets taken away from us?

We are not “up for interpretation”.

Neither are the characters in media who share our identity.

And it’s time to stop pretending we ever were.

For more information about Non-Binary Erasure and how harmful it is, you can check out these articles:

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/common-non-binary-erasure/

https://www.dailydot.com/irl/nonbinary-people-racism/

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Nonbinary_erasure

https://traj.openlibhums.org/articles/10.16995/traj.422/

https://medium.com/an-injustice/everyday-acts-of-non-binary-erasure-49ee970654fb

https://medium.com/national-center-for-institutional-diversity/the-invisible-labor-of-liberating-non-binary-identities-in-higher-education-3f75315870ec

https://musingsofanacademicasexual.wordpress.com/2015/05/11/dear-sirmadam-a-commentary-on-non-binary-erasure/

4. How Do We Fix It?

Well, first things first: Stop acting like we don’t exist.

And kindly stop other people from doing it too.

We are a part of the LGBT+ community and we deserve to be acknowledged, no matter what our pronouns are.

Address non-binary people with the right pronouns. Don’t argue with them about their identity, don’t comment on how much you think they look like a boy or a girl. Just accept them and be respectful.

If a non-binary person tells you they have two sets of pronouns, for example he/him and they/them, don’t just use one set of pronouns. That can come off as disingenuous. Alternate between the pronouns, don’t leave one or the other out. It’ll probably be hard at first, but if you keep it up, you’ll get used to it pretty quickly.

If you’re witnessing someone harass a non-binary person over their identity, step in and help them.

And please, don’t partake in non-binary erasure in media fandoms.

Don’t misgender non-binary characters, don’t “speculate” on what you think their gender might be. You already know their gender and it’s non-binary. It costs exactly 0 $ to be a decent human being and accept that.

Support Non-Binary people by educating yourself about them and helping to normalize and integrate their identity.

In fact, here’s a list of petitions, organizations and articles who will help you do just that:

https://www.change.org/p/collegeboard-let-students-use-their-preferred-name-on-collegeboard-9abad81a-0fdf-435c-8fca-fe24a5df6cc7?source_location=topic_page

6 Ways to Support Your Non-Binary Child

7 Non-Negotiables for Supporting Trans & Non-Binary Students in Your Classroom

If Your Partner Just Came Out As Non-Binary, Here’s How To Support Them

How to Support Your Non-Binary Employees, Colleagues and Friends

Ko-fi page for the Nonbinary Wiki

The Sylvia Rivera Project, an organization who aims to give low-income and non-white transgender, intersex and non-binary people a voice

The Anti Violence Project “empowers lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and HIV-affected communities and allies to end all forms of violence through organizing and education, and supports survivors through counseling and advocacy."

The Trans Lifeline, a hotline for transgender people by transgender people

Tl:DR: Non-Binary representation is important. Non-Binary people still suffer from society at large not acknowledging our existence and forcing us to conform. Don’t be part of that problem by taking away what little representation we have. Educate yourself and do better instead. We deserve to be seen and heard.

#non-binary #agender #demigender #gender identity #essay #erasure #lgbt representation #misgendering #undertale #she ra spop #apex bloodhound #doppelganger #steven universe

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variousqueerthings · 3 years

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some thoughts on queerness in narrative (using cobra kai as a main point)

1. intro

It’s interesting getting to engage with pop culture right now versus even five years ago, where there was something kinda sordid and undercover about queer reads of text and even just talking about being into stuff very passionately while being queer in spaces that included creators was considered somehow icky (supernatural is always a good example, but definitely was just the most visible of these types of interactions between fans and cast/creators). Obviously that’s where a lot of modern definitions about queerbaiting and bury your gays comes from.

A lot of this kind of drama centred on queer ships rather than queer characters in their own right (dean/castiel, merlin/arthur, derek/styles and maaaan just a lot of white brunette/blond pairings, which is another post and I acknowledge that Lawrusso is also literally that... the irony)

But also this isn’t so much about “shipping.”

There’s a danger of flattening out the ways in which we create a dialogue with text when it becomes just about whether or not our ships become canon (in general the way fandom discourse revolves around ships can be incredibly unhelpful for engaging critically with text) – for context I am queer and I’m queer through my transness and aromanticness and asexuality, and I also write a fair bit of shippy fanfiction and analysis, but personally am not (always) thaaat bothered about how the connections with queer-coded people are realised in text, as long as those connections are acknowledged in a queer way. How that works varies from text to text. There is no one-size fits all proper queer representation.

An example: SE Hinton (because I just read The Outsiders/watched the movie) being really dismissive of people reading her characters as gay on twitter (why do we ever try to do this sort of deep textual analysis on twitter, why do creators – like Hinton – think that they ought to espouse opinions on twitter, why twitter folx?)

I wrote – kinda for the void, because I write a lot and I like posting some of that on tumblr, but I don’t expect people to engage necessarily – about how The Outsiders is absolutely a queer text, whether or not the creator intended for it to be. Long story short, queerness has been – and often still is – illegal and/or frowned upon in canon text, so a semiotics was created to make something queer if you knew how to read it. The fact that cis-straight creators play with and use those semiotics without knowing doesn’t negate the fact that that language is there and was deliberately created for that purpose.

That also doesn’t make it queerbaiting. Maybe cis-straight dumbassery, idk (wouldn’t be if you just went “huh, didn’t think about that, cool read”)

Intentionally playing with and acknowledging those semiotics also isn’t necessarily queerbaiting.

Definitely queercoding though.

Anyway this is all a bit murky territory, so let’s talk about Cobra Kai, my current little obsession, and about Star Trek, my always-obsession. Time-was you could get sued for your Star Trek fanfiction. Nowadays that fanfiction can get turned into a for-fun zoom play and read out loud by the two actors who played the original characters (Alexander Siddig and Andy Robinson). This is very fun, new territory for a lot of us.

Meanwhile Hayden Schlossberg and the other writers of Cobra Kai are openly aware of the fact that lots of people read their lead characters – Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence - as probably bisexual (and probably as in love) and are on good terms with several active members of fandom and fic-writing. This is… so fucking fun. And it doesn’t have that weird overtone of shit like Teen Wolf (“We’re on a ship” winky-face, followed by that about heel-turn “just think it’s weird and strange” or however tf it was described later on - that shit: definitely queerbaiting).

In Star Trek there’s a slim-to-none chance that these characters will ever become canonically queer in the main text, but the acknowledgement and the light-hearted open engagement with it makes such a massive difference (not that Siddig and Robinson weren’t talking openly about it as far back as the 90s).

In Cobra Kai there is no obligation to make Johnny or Daniel canonically bi because there’s been no promise to do so – there is, in my opinion, an obligation to create a world in which queerness exists and not just on the sidelines. In the same way as there’s an obligation to generally create a world that accurately depicts what LA looks like in multiple other ways (cough, not mainly white, cough). If a part of that were through exploring how 80s era toxic heteronormative masculinity could throw people deep into the closet for most of their lives, hey, that’d be a neat storyline (such a neat fucking storyline), but it’s not the only way to do it.

While I do like canonically queer couples in stories, I also think it’d really limit what queerness can do for a text if that were the only way it was represented - sure I ship Lawrusso, but I find the above-mentioned analysis of toxic masculinity’s effects on the characters-as-queer-coded to go much deeper than whether or not they get together.

I also would love trans and/or other-gender characters - we all know Johnny needs his “gender-what?” ignorance challenged and the potential for characters like that to fit into a narrative around trauma, loneliness, and misfit-families is kinda perfect (and when I say characters, I mean that plural, we’re not a one-size fits all).

Lastly I think there is also an obligation to do exactly what the showrunners are doing - what didn’t happen with Hinton or SPN or Teen Wolf or Star Trek of yore or so much other popular fiction: say, oh yeah, that language is absolutely there, we recognise it, we can read it and it’s not weird or sordid or something to be judged. So that’s already a massive thumbs up/promising start.

4. some final thoughts:

Idk where all this’ll go. I’m still missing a lot of canonically queer representation - and when I say representation I mean more than just shoving in a queer character into a scene and not thinking about how that affects the world that’s been established. But I’m feeling a lot better about queerness and story than I used to.

I’m hoping that whatever comes moving forwards in culture in general it’ll have some thought put into it. I’m hoping that queerness and queer allegory and coding will be recognised more and more as important reads of text and will go into informing how something is made (Hannibal, Black Sails, Sense8, Pose). I’m just hoping this’ll mean some interesting, intelligent, wildly varied narratives.

Just very excited.

#cobra kai #lawrusso #johnny lawrence #daniel larusso #my writing #garashir #ds9 #st: ds9 #julian bashir #elim garak #alexander siddig #andy robinson #i made an on purpose choice here to talk about m/m ships in my examples #to be very Precise in my comparisons #funnily enough all four shows i mention at the very end have more (and all canon) queer rep than that #i also had a tangent about the current weird discourse on what-you're-morally-allowed-to-ship but that isn't quite the point here #although in general i will reiterate that i find the focus on shipping to be very unhelpful and limiting and y'all need history lessons

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strangertheory · 4 years

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How not to talk about queer relationships: part 1

It is unfortunate that some fans will focus their attention on people that hyper-sexualize the relationship between Mike and Will instead of noticing the many, many queer fans that hope and dream of seeing a realistic, affectionate, wholesome and loving queer ship develop between two young teens figuring out their feelings as they grow up in a conservative small town.

I find it unfortunate that this person and many other fans are preoccupied with the idea that having a canon queer ship should be avoided because some folk might fetishize it. The deep irony of this logic is that if we had more wholesome representation in the media and more well-written and nuanced relationships between queer characters, wrongful perception of queer relationships would improve overtime in our society, and people would eventually not fetishize queer couples as much as they do currently.

A common reason that things are fetishized is because they are seen as taboo or unusual. In an ideal world queer people would be perceived as neither taboo nor unusual.

Queer people are not fetishes. We are people with feelings and lives and yes we also have desires too. LGBTQA+ people fall in love and experience feelings just like cis-het people do. And the queer community, and queer ships, should not be treated like something dirty or problematic that "shouldn't be canon" just because some people choose to hypersexualize them. LGBTQA+ individuals have the right to exist in fiction and in the real world without being treated like something lesser. Our love is just as beautiful as love between cis-het couples.

I recognize that the person who wrote this might not have meant to be prejudiced. They might even be queer themselves! They might have truly thought "I hate how people fetishize queer relationships" and then came to the conclusion that this means we need fewer queer relationships in the media. (Yea, I know: it doesn't actually make sense. Maybe they weren't thinking. But I want to give them the benefit of the doubt and label this as "accidental prejudice.")

But, as I've pointed out: this logic is inherently flawed. We need more queer representation if we want to fix this problem, not less.

I think it's a bit unfortunate, and a product of society's unhealthy fetishization of gay men as being hypersexual and threatening, that the most popular homosexual ship in the fandom is Harringrove rather than Byler, especially considering all of the narrative hints that Mike and Will have feelings for one another. @hawkinsschoolcounselor has a great write-up on this issue here that I strongly agree with.

The gentle, protective, and affectionate dynamic between Mike and Will in Stranger Things is incredibly beautiful and I think it has so much potential to be a well-developed, realistically portrayed queer relationship in the series. While I understand that it might not happen, I think it would be a severely missed opportunity if it doesn't, and I firmly believe that all of the subtle groundwork in the story is already there and that the writers intend to follow through with it.

Just because some fans can't "see it" doesn't mean it's not there. The number of people that still insist that Will is straight still boggles my mind. But I'm also used to people making that assumption in the real world, too. The same way that people dismiss the possibility of queer characters in popular media, they dismiss people in the real world too. We are constantly having to be loud and proud because if we aren't, our rights and our experiences and our feelings are ignored because people either assume we don't really exist, or that we are rare and unlikely to exist in their social groups, or that we are lesser and a perversion and not equally worthy of representation and consideration and love.

These assumptions are destructive and wrong.

#stranger things #byler #byeler #homophobia

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thatlastdanceofchances · 4 years

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Torchwood fandom survey results - part 1

Thank you once again to everyone who didn’t get scared by that horrendous promotional photo-manipulation and participated in the Torchwood general survey last month. The survey ended with 155 participants! I wasn’t expecting so many, you all are amazing!

As you can imagine, that’s quite a lot of data to go through so I’m making at least two posts. This one is about who the people in the fandom are and the next one(s) will focus on canon and fandom.

All the demographics results are under a cut to save your dashboards!

Disclaimer 1: This is a survey promoted almost exclusively on tumblr and the results are therefore necessarily biased by the demographics of tumblr users.

The first question was Where are you from.

No surprise in the results given that this is a BBC show: the UK comfortably leads the poll. If I’m not mistaken, there are people from all 5 continents, which is nice!

The next question was What is your primary language. Once again, no surprise: English is dominating with 80% of the 155 votes.

Salut aux 6 autres personnes dont le français est la langue principale! :-)

Next, What is your age. This one surprised me a bit.

Given the content of the show (especially some of the Big Finish stuff *side-eyes Corpse Day and Hostile Environment*), I wasn’t expecting so many people under 18.

Also, given that the show is almost 15 years old, I wasn’t expecting the fandom to be more than 60% under 25. I think this can be explained by both the fact that tumblr fandom tends to be in that age bracket and the fact that, as you’ll see in the next set of results, the number of new Torchwood viewers increased significantly after 2018. As @capnjackharkness figured out, it’s when the show became available on a famous streaming service. And it apparently worked in bringing in a new audience that was too young during the original run.

The next two categories were about gender and sexuality.

Disclaimer 2: I am sorry if anyone was offended by the fact that their identity was not mentioned in the survey. I used lists provided by a teen health site and added the option to add your own identity. Still, I definitely understand the frustration of being ignored and you were right in calling me out on this and I’m truly sorry.

Disclaimer 3: You have no idea how much joy it brought me to see so many diversity in the results! Out of the 155 participants, there were 29 unique answers on gender and 44 unique answers on sexuality. That’s amazing news for our fandom. Unfortunately, this means I’m going to have to group the answers to be able to present something other than raw data. I hope that the choices I make do not hurt anyone. If it does, let me know and I’ll take down the following results and only link to the raw data. Also let me know if something should be phrased differently. English is not my native language and I may not be aware that certain terms/phrases have a negative connotation.

For both questions (gender and sexuality), 1% of the 155 participants declined to answer.

The first question was: What is your gender identity? You can pick multiple answers. The list is from a teen health website, feel free to add your own identity.

First of all, 8% used the available Questioning label (alone or with other labels). Given the ages of the participants as seen above, I’m impressed! You guys have your shit more together than I had at your age! :-D

In terms of use of binary genders:

69% selected Woman with or without any other label

7% selected Man with or without any other label

2% selected Cisgender without specifying man or woman

21% didn’t choose either Woman, Man or Cisgender.

Once again, I think the overwhelming majority of people being women is to be tempered by the fact that this is mainly a tumblr survey. But I think the fact that 21% are not represented by the binary genders show the diversity and I hope the tolerance of the Torchwood fandom.

If we look at the data a bit differently to see if and how the binary genders represent the community:

39% selected Cisgender with no other label that falls outside of the binary genders

3% selected Transgender with no other label that falls outside of the binary genders

30% selected either Man or Woman as their only label

25% selected labels that falls outside of binary genders (agender, demi-girl, genderfluid, gender neutral, genderqueer, non-binary)

2% selected Questioning as their only label.

Take that Greeks bearing gifts!

The second question was: What is your sexual orientation? You can pick multiple answers. The list is from a teen health website, feel free to add your own orientation.

Similar to the gender question, 9% used the available Questioning label (alone or with other labels). Again, I’m impressed.

21% selected the Queer label, when 77% didn’t.

As for the ace/aro spectrum, 29% selected labels that fall on that spectrum. This includes: aromantic, asexual, demisexual, grey-aromantic, grey-asexual.

As for who the participants are attracted to:

11% exclusively selected labels that imply attraction to the opposite gender only (heterosexual)

19% exclusively selected labels that imply attraction to the same gender only (homosexual, lesbian, gay)

43% selected labels that imply attraction to several genders (bisexual, pansexual)

26% didn’t select any label that gives an indication as to which gender(s) they are attracted to.

Yep, for the Torchwood fandom, that makes sense! :-D

That’s it for the demographics! Again, given the amount of data, this is an overview of the results. If you have any specific analysis you would like, feel free to ask!

See you in the coming days for results on when we discovered Doctor Who and Torchwood, which extended universe stories we’ve consumed and liked and how we live our best fandom life!

#torchwood #torchwood eu project #hubapalooza #2020 torchwood general survey #organised data is the new sexy #data visualisation is my passion

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flowerflamestars · 4 years

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10, 17, 23?

These are so fun, thank you!

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

This is controversial, so disclaimer: I like Morrigan. I am extremely happy to have queer lady rep on a personal level.

But all rep is not automatically good rep, and in this case, I think the real problem is bad writing.

It is extremely clear in acomaf that sjm had one dynamic planned...and in between books canned it for another, but kept pieces...which further makes EVEN LESS SENSE. Feyre is super interested in how close Mor/Cas/Az are- she doesn’t really get what’s happening, but the focus on closeness is repeated, again and again and again. I’m going to come back to this, but basically, in no version is their history not Complex and not Something Feyre is Probably Getting Wrong for Assuming Straightness.

And then we have queer (and I’m using queer because the books don’t make it clear what her sexuality is- maybe she’s a lesbian. maybe she’s bi but only romantically attracted to women, we don’t know) Morrigan. And it takes what acomaf set up and makes it so much worse?

We go from Morrigan who forged a path and chose a family (a very queer trope, hey I wonder, that whole found family cannot also be straight???) to Morrigan, trapped between her two best friends by several entangled, terrible things. Azriel, who now scares her? Cassian, who she slept with at a cost that was ultimately MegaTrauma for both of them, and literal torture for her. Morrigan who maybe slept with someone she wasn’t even attracted to just for autonomy as a teen....and then definitely slept with Helion when she did not want to..to set a boundary with Az??

Can you hear me screaming?

Okay- so how do we fix this? How do we make this less of a goddamn weird choice? First of all, let’s take out the homophobia at all. High Fae are immortal- they have partners that aren’t the same species, why on earth would gender matter?

Cool, Morrigan is queer, but Morrigan didn’t live in fear of her best friends for five centuries.

But what do we do with the closeness, the rabid protectiveness? High fae don’t care who you bang, but you know who would, if we have to stay in canon’s shitty lil world? Illyrians, who safeguard their bloodlines in horrific ways already.

Azriel hates Illyria so much in the books- so much more than Cassian or Rhysand. Why might that be? Why won’t he go back- hey, maybe Azriel is gay.

Feyre’s Straight Vision, and also the viewpoint of a twentyish woman whose never gotten to see..anything: is that, LOVE? since you a man are looking at Morrigan who is wearing a wild cool dress

Az, watching to make sure no one is bothering Morrigan in the crowd: Solidarity (maybe based on horrific trauma or something)

Let’s compound further. Canon does it for us- Rhysand tells Feyre that Cassian slept with Morrigan as a dumb teen because he was jealous of all the time she was spending with Az. Not- he was jealous over Morrigan, he was jealous of Morrigan.

Bisexual Cassian babes- still figuring it out, but jealous about his hot best friend. And then, hello, terrible plot, totally traumatized by his first sexy exploits with a lady.

This closes the final loop: if Morrigan doesn’t want Az or Cassian, why is she so aggressive with Nesta? Because, after all they’ve been through, they’re all obsessed with protecting each other. I do think a happier, freer Mor would be a lot less terrible about Nesta, but a little shovel-talk bullshit would remain.

Because they all found each other and chose each other and protect each other, because they know being who they are isn’t always safe. Queer solidarity. Not to mention that Nesta is the first woman it’s been clear Cassian is going to absolutely fall for! No one wants him to get hurt again.

In sum: canon queer Mor bad, the possibility that didn’t happen of queer IC good?

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

Okay, I totally went this way for the first question, but I have a different answer!

Instead of the solstice party being the lowest point for Nesta, I would have made it the breaking point for Cassian.

He notices there’s no gift for her in the pile. Assumes kind of tiredly/sadly/bitterly that she isn’t coming- but then watches her show up. Sees the way no one even says hello to her, the resigned, sad face she makes when Elain hands her that glass of wine she didn’t ask for. Further watches Elain uncharacteristically throw back a drink, just to have to deal with peacekeeping.

And Cassian just feels sick. She’s lost so much weight- still beautiful, still so heartbreakingly Nesta, but like she’s going to shatter at any moment. And Cassian whose grieving, who lost so many of his people and in the end couldn’t protect her- Cassian cannot stand to watch that.

He makes it easy for her. Jokingly steals the glass of wine with some aside and drinks it himself. Doesn’t leave her alone. Doesn’t even look up to watch the self-made spectacle of Morrigan unwrapping lingerie- he’s too busy very quietly handing Nesta her single present, from him. She pockets it, wrapped, but Cassian will swear there’s something there to her nod, a softening for just a second.

When Nesta leaves- the second she can, the moment it’s over, Cassian finds her coat, goes with her. His presence stops Feyre from chasing after her. They don’t even talk. He just keeps up with her angry storming across town, lets her rage with her entire body because it’s like all the light suddenly returned- she’s hurt.

Nesta is hurt and he can help. Nesta is alone, and how could she not be? She doesn’t fit in this Court, doesn’t belong playing nice when Rhys hates her, when Feyre is happiest ignoring her- when Cassian himself feels like he’s outside looking in from the icy peaks of Illyria, out of place with the world feysand want now.

Walks her to her door, safe. Doesn’t press to go in, doesn’t overstep. Just tells her good night, tells her, happy solstice Nesta. Returns the next morning with breakfast he won’t mention goes uneaten, the day after and day after, until she’s waiting when he arrives and stomps down to the actually good bakery down the street with him.

Cassian never really leaves her alone again.

But first, behind six locks, under the light of the moon, Nesta will sit in her bed and look at the precisely wrapped beautiful gift Cassian, of everyone- her whole family, her whole world- thought to give her. She won’t open it until she’s ready, but Nesta will keep it.

Nesta will never forget.

23. Unpopular character you love? No one talks about him, but I can only imagine Varian is very, very cool dude. I cannot fathom anything but the complete lack of toxic masculinity that would be needed to look at a monstrous celestial being of a lady and be like, yep, I’m Just A Hot Sailor whose Kind of a Prince but I’ll love her quietly forever anyway.

Cresseida! Like, what, we’re supposed to dislike her for responded to Rhysand’s shitty flirting because she’s lonely because ya know, Amarantha killed the people she loves? Come on. Gimme that difficult woman rep.

He’s from ToG instead, but I love Lorcan. He’s just...such a dweeb. An emo little himbo mess. He’s so massively dumb about all his feelings unless they relate directly to Elide while she’s standing in front of him and even then, is getting them right at about 60% capacity unless it’s life or death and then he abruptly Gets It. Is willing to become Lord Lorcan Lochan for the rest of his days. Ruthless mess. Love it.

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k-s-morgan · 4 years

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I arrived here through a link which was shared in Discord ( about how Hannigram became canon) and wow while I ship I didn't notice so much subtext and even text. I see in Discord there are quite a few rude new members who have Hannigram they eventually leave or kicked out. Where does the denial come from? And how did the romantic story evolve ? Planned from the beginning or just happened

Yes, the deniers are always there, and frustratingly, I don’t think they’ll ever disappear. Even when some of them finally acknowledge that Hannigram is canonically romantic, they just switch angles and claim how everything romantic is a meaningless fan service from Bryan. I won’t pretend to know the motivation of each and every person, but since I’ve been here for years, here are the trends I’ve been witnessing.

1) Homophobia. Many homophobes can’t stand the idea that they liked the show with a central M/M romance. I’ve heard many, many ugly ‘arguments’ about this. Hannibal and WIll are too ‘manly’ to be gay, “in love” doesn’t have to be romantic, Bedelia is lying to Will when confirming Hannibal’s feelings (never mind that Hannibal said it himself), no sex = no romance, Will and Hannibal only had relationships with women so they can’t be in love, and many more. In rare cases these homophobes were forced to accept it’s a romance, they literally said, “Well, then I don’t like this show any more!”

2) Misogyny. Many viewers, especially male ones, despise the idea of shipping and think it’s something ‘silly teen girls or bored housewives’ do. They gloat in knowledge that shippers are never proved right (since most shows end with queerbaiting). To have a show where shippers’ reading is not only supported by the creator but where it’s actually canon is intolerable to them. They can’t stand the idea of being wrong. I had arguments with people who poured out their hatred toward Bryan Fuller for “letting them down” and “deciding to appease shippers”.

3) Victim Will syndrome. Some viewers see Will as a poor broken victim with no agency who keeps being abused by psychopathic and unfeeling Hannibal. They are incensed at the idea of there being a romance between two such different men.

4) Ignorance. Some people didn’t watch attentively and are very heteronormative. They are genuinely perplexed at where the discussions of romance come from.

5) Self-hatred due to homophobia. You’d be surprised as to how many people in this fandom struggle with their sexuality and act homophobically. They are drawn to Will and Hannibal because they relate to their relationship, but at the same time, they are terrified of it being “explicitly gay” because of what it says about them. I’ve had many discussions with people like this.

I’m sure there are other reasons as well, but this is what I encountered most often.

As for whether the romance evolved or was planned: there is no clear answer here. Bryan says contradictory things, Mads adds to those contradictions. In most cases, Bryan claims the romance evolved naturally because of Mads and Hugh’s chemistry. But he also said several times that he always planned to approach the show as a romance. Mads supported this take several times as well.

Because of this, I tend to believe in something in the middle. I think Bryan was always planning to introduce homoeroticism in Will and Hannibal’s relationship, but he never planned to make it this explicit because he wasn’t sure how accepted it would be. He did confess once that early on, he was wary of possible ‘gay predator’ stereotypes since in S1, Will and Hannibal have an unequal dynamic.

#hannibal #hannigram

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takaraphoenix · 4 years

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This may or may not be a touchy question (I guess it depends?), but how do you deal with hate with people who don't particularly like your work or the pairings you like? Because I've seen a fair amount of people stop creating content they want to make because of the backlash or hate they get simply for shipping something, so I do wonder... How do you do it? After all these years, how are you still standing, head held up high? – Much love! <3

I suppose a huge part in that is... personality? I mean, what type of person one is. Some people are very sensitive and negativity gets to them heavily.

Which, is ironic, because I am normally that type of person. I always overthink what other people may think of me and in real life I am easily deterred.

But something about the internet changes the dynamic for me.

If it’s in person? If someone looks me in the eye and criticizes the things I like? That has me fuming. But ain’t nothing more unpersonal than getting an anon and having this round fella with the sunglasses stare at you, or having a “guest” on AO3 comment something nasty.

Because they’re cowards. And the cowardice of the other party tells me that, so a certain degree, they themselves know they’re full of shit. Because if they were confident in what they’re saying, if they knew they were right with whatever they’re claiming, there’s no need to go anon. They could tell me “to my face” - as much as the internet allows that; by being logged in and starting a dialogue.

But someone who hides behind the grey round fella with the sunglasses to tell me I’m morally wrong? Makes me genuinely laugh. Because if I were, you had no reason to hide.

(At this point, I’d like to add, since you’re on anon too, that there’s different reasons for going on anon. Sometimes, it’s shyness. But if you think yourself morally superior to someone and want to ring the bell of shame behind them, you can’t hide behind anonymity. That’s different.)

I just really can’t take people seriously who hide in the shadows of anonymity to scream at me about how wrong I am. You’d do that with confidence if you knew you were right. But they’re wrong and full of shit. Because they are.

There is no “right” or “wrong” about taste. A ship ain’t only valid for being morally upstanding, pure, canon, whatever. And a person ain’t inherently vile for shipping something that’s unleathy, or toxic, or whatever buzzword they throw around.

Which is another part. I just... absolutely can not take anyone seriously who throws buzzwords around wildly and with no foundation, because they lack any common sense.

Yeah, they’re brothers and it’s incest, what do I care, they’re also fictional characters, I ain’t telling two real life brothers to bang and get married, what’s wrong with the people who can’t tell fiction apart from reality. That’s just pitiful.

I’ve also seen the other side of that. I’ve seen antis ship the exact thing that they’re judging, insulting and harrassing other shippers for. From incest to abuse apologism to just plain toxic canon dynamics. All the things they find a justification to harrass others about, but they ship things of that kind themselves. But their ships are ““different”“ from the ones they hate.

It all boils down to taste and it boils down to a bunch of morons who can’t grasp the concept of “taste” and the fact that... you can like something without it being pure and you can dislike something without it being every shade of morally corrupt.

They bend over backward to find justifications for why the ships they dislike are inherently bad, while they also bend over backward to justify why the exact same things they judge other ships for are actually wholesome and pure in the ships they like.

And at that point, I just genuinely feel bad for those people and am terrified for them. Because I am fully aware of what I ship. I know every deprived nook and cranny of my ships. I know the exact level of toxicity of the canon dynamics. I’m just also aware that they’re fictional characters. But the moment you start reaching to justify why abuse isn’t technically abuse, that’s when it becomes worrisome. And that’s what they do, to justify their own ships.

Now, I’m not gonna lie, this isn’t an attitude I always had and it’s not something I just woke up with one day.

I’ve been in fandom for 15 years now. I’ve seen a lot and I’ve dealt with a lot. I’ve seen when shipwars were primarily reserved to the canon straight love triangles. I’ve seen it devolve into “your ship isn’t valid the gays are getting in the way of the CANON STRAIGHTS”. I’ve seen the number of canon gays grow in media and how it affected these ship wars, invalidating ships where a canon gay ship was split up. And now this shit-show of antis.

My attitude grew out of seeing and experiencing a lot. I was lucky to be “raised” in a safe fandom environment, where the fandom olds took us youngsters under their wings and guided us, taught us how to improve our writing, helped us establish connections in a community.

And that last part, that’s important. Important in dealing with hate. Maybe the most important part, really. You have to find your community. Don’t let yourself be sucked into a circle of hate. Find the people who love the same things as you - the same show, the same characters, the same ships. Form friendships, find that community of positivity.

Fandom is what you make it. Even when other people try to make it something else, try to turn it into a hateful, gross place filled with harrassment and fear and moral policing. Regardless of how hard they try; your fandom is up to you.

Find the people who bring the positivity, who will come into your fics and leave reviews of love and positivity. And weed out the bad. Block them. Block the antis in your fandom, avoid them. Sometimes, preemtively going into an anti tag and just going on a block-spree can be really helpful already. You can block anons on tumblr too! Granted, only their ID, but at one point they’re gonna run out of devices to post anon hate from.

That much to my personal attitude toward it. Now to the act of actually dealing with it.

Many adivse, rightfully so, to ignore it. AO3 allows you to delete comments. On tumlr, you can just delete an anon and not answer it. Especially when you’re the type who is affected by it, not engaging is the best solution.

Personally, I like arguing with people. Everyone who ever talked to me might have noticed that. I live for a good argument. And I’m really bad at letting something just stand. So I usually argue back. I do that, because I am very bad at keeping my mouth shut, but also because it brings me a certain amount of glee to mock their nonsense.

I do it here. I have my “Dear Anonymous Shithead” tag where I address anon bullshit and anon hate from FFNet and AO3 - because FFNet doesn’t let you answer to anons. And then I delete the original comments on my fics, because I don’t like shitstains on my fics.

I call that approach meeting them on your own terms. Because they think they are doing something grand somehow by publicly leaving their vile comments on your fics. Delete them, take their voice away. Put it somewhere else to argue their nonsense on your own terms, mock them if you want, it’s fun. Fight your battle, the way you want to fight it - and that does include just deleting them and not engaging at all; that’s not running away, that’s self-care.

Like I said, my attitude’s not always been like that. It got me before too. Way, way back - and I really do mean way back, it’s been surely over five years ago - there was a tumblr account on here that spent an unreasonable amount of time openly hating on me. It’s the reason I avoided getting a tumblr, because back then I was not in a mental state to openly engage with such a hateful place.

And it’s still a hateful place; all those anti communities here. People proudly proclaiming they’re antis in their biography. People taking screenshots of other tumblrs or artists to mock them and make fun of them. The thing that changed isn’t tumblr, it’s me. I waited to engage with this place until I was ready to engage with it. I got my tumblr account when I already had the attitude of scoffing at anon hate.

I do think that only getting actively involved in a website when you are ready for it is another important part. The thing you mention in your ask, the people who stopped creating because of anon hate. It breaks my heart, it absolutely does, and I hate losing creators to it, but I do think that if those creators made that judgment call for themselves and their own mental health because they knew they couldn’t handle the harrassment, then they did the right thing. Even if they themselves may hate it, because they want to create. But sometimes, taking a step back is the right thing to do. I do hope that they will find it in themselves to overcome this and come back stronger, but constant harrassment and bullying can have severe consequences on a person and removing yourself from that kind of environment can sometimes be a last resort that needs to be taken.

I’ll also admit that I’ve been calculating what fandom to interact with to what degree ever since I got a tumblr account and started to see just how deep the hatred goes. Some things I might have created for, but I saw just how nasty the antis in the fandom were and... it wasn’t worth the fight for me.

Percy Jackson and Shadowhunters are my loves. My ride-or-die fandoms. I can, and will, fight for them. No one will chase me out of these fandoms, regardless of what kinds of insults and bullshit they throw at me. I’ve been here years longer than most of these newbie antis and I will be here long after they moved on to other things.

New things that I don’t have attachment to, I will weight if my level of interest in the thing will be worth engaging with the fandom nonsense with. Sometimes, it’s not, sometimes I make the judgment call for myself to step a way from a thing.

I admit, that happend with Teen Wolf too. Back when I did my last rewatch and enthusiastically engaged with it on here on tumblr, live posting about my rewatch and it... showed me startling, ugly sides of this fandom that I hadn’t known before, back when all my engagement had been to read fics and to write that one fic I had. That rewatch could have dragged me back into the deep end - but the brand of hate I encountered here... genuinely got to me. It really messed with my head, a lot, I’ve never been threatened before, I’ve never been insulted and constantly harrassed to such a degree. It was the first time I ever turned off anon on here, it put me into a sense of dread for just coming online for a while. I didn’t expect that, neither that it’d happen nor the extend of it or that it’d get to me like this. I still love Sterek to bits and pieces, it’ll be one of those ships I will always be attached to, but that experience with the bad side of the fandom made me recoil from getting involved with Teen Wolf again.

But in the Percy Jackson fandom? I’ve stood here for ten years now. I’ve gotten shit thrown at me about pretty much anything. I’ve also created over five hundred works for this fandom. I have received love and excitement in comments. I have received fanarts. I have received fanfiction to my fics. I’ve gotten fics dedicated to me by people who liked my work and wanted to write something nice for me. I’ve met one of my best friends and I’ve met my girlfriend in this fandom. Sure, I’ve been called names and been mocked, but I also know what I have.

I know I’m a damn good writer. I may not have much self-esteem, but what little self-esteem I have is located here, in the very thing they think they can attack. The thing is, I have no insecurities in this. This is the one area where you can’t attack me. And on top of that, I have that community of amazing people who love the same things as I do. I have the support, the friends, the shared hype. What do I care about some pitiful little fool hiding behind anonymity to whine about how wrong and gross I am? Their opinion weights nothing compared to that of the people who leave me anon love, who leave me squealy and excited comments.

To sum it all up:

Someone who has to hide behind anonymity is aware they don’t have the moral high ground.

Their definition of the “moral high ground” is so pitiful that it makes me feel bad for them.

I know the difference between fiction and reality and I pity the fools who don’t.

Find a positive fandom space for yourself and claim it.

Either delete anon hate, or meet it on your own terms.

Sometimes, I don’t. Sometimes, I lose and the hate does get to me.

You need to make the judgment call for yourself, if you can mentally handle a situation or not, and do what is best for you.

#About Me #Fandom Life #How To Handle Antis #Fandom Discourse #and how to handle that #Phoe Giving Advise #Anonymous

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multimetaverse · 5 years

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Tyrus in 3c

I’ve gotten a lot of asks about what might happen with Tyrus in the rest of the season and I’ll use this post to answer them all. We can already tell by the fact that they started this story line without the audience actually knowing that TJ is gay and that he and Kira only have 3 eps left that most of this plot is going to be subtextual and off-screen. Things have to end on at least a strained note for Tyrus in 3x15, the real question is whether they reconcile in 3x19 or if they only end up on good terms again as they confess in 3x21. The latter is always an option with Disney’s restrictions but there are some reasons to be cautiously optimistic that we’ll get the former and I have to blindly hope that TJ and Cyrus won’t be made into victims and will be allowed to be the heroes of their own stories. This will be a long post but tldr: what we know of Kira’s screen-time suggests that she’s largely redeemed by the finale, some sort of big gesture is likely needed for TJ to truly apologize to Cyrus like a rap or hug, it’s noteworthy that TJ’s scenes in 3x19 are all at school, and there are some interesting similarities between what’s going on with Jandi and Tyrus and noticeable differences between what’s going on with those ships and Muffy.

TJ and Kira have 3 eps left while Marty has 4-5 and Amber has 6 so already we can tell which story lines are most important. TJ disappears for three eps after 3x15 which is the longest he’s been away since he returned this season and the longest they seem willing to let the important love interests be off-screen. The gap is largely because the wedding is in 3x18 and TJ isn’t allowed to be there but eps 16-18 are likely to span at least several weeks in universe and suggests an opportunity for off screen growth and change on his part. Perhaps most importantly we know for the finale that Raquel was only on set for one day and that was the same day that all of the other main and recurring kids were on set so Kira is not going to get very much screen-time in the finale which along with the fact that she is even at the party suggests she’s already on good terms with Cyrus and TJ.

We know that Raquel was on set for only one day for 3x15 and it seems likely that Luke was only on set for a day as well during the filming of an outdoor basketball game with teen boy players; probably the same set up we saw in 3x13. This must be where Cyrus tries to talk with TJ but doesn’t really get anywhere, it will be interesting to see how angsty of a note they end on and if it’s meant to be something that sticks with us or something that they want us to forget about until 3x19. Fwiw it does look like TJ is wearing the same camo hoodie in 3x15 as he was in 3x07 so an angsty callback to’’ you’re the only person I can talk to like this’’ may be in the cards. Raquel never posted from set during 3x19 (presumably that’s when she appears though if she for some reason needed to have solo scenes with Cyrus she could potentially appear in 3x16 or 3x17). She wasn’t seen in any of the casts posts from that week so she likely wasn’t on set for more than a day for that ep either.

Three days of filming spread over 3 eps means Kira will be lucky to have more than 5 minutes of screen-time the rest of the season and that her redemption arc will have to be fairly quick. I have to hope that her redemption arc will begin in 3x15 when she realizes or is made to realize the hurt she’s caused TJ and Cyrus. Since Raquel confirmed that Kira knows what’s up with Tyrus I’d expect that the only way to redeem her would be for her to become TJ’s Buffy and support him in his sexuality as Buffy has with Cyrus which would mostly happen off screen but since they’re willing to let them have solo scenes could begin in 3x15, maybe with Kira offering to hear TJ out if he wants to talk. We need to see something from her that shows that she’s not an evil person and that she can learn to do the right thing.

I’d expect this plot line to look like a peer pressure/manipulation/being true to yourself plot line to little kids and the fear of homophobia story line it is supposed to be for older audiences. It looks like they’re trying to show a coming out story line where the fear isn’t internalized homophobia such as it was with Cyrus but external homophobia but I think that difference will escape much of the audience. We’ve seen TJ be so happy to hang with Cyrus at school or the park or at the spoon or at his work or with his friends so I wonder what little kids think of him suddenly being afraid to be seen matching with Cyrus.

Where does this leave Cyrus after 3x15? Again the audience has never had it confirmed that Cyrus likes TJ so that affects how the audience sees this conflict. Is he going to be allowed to talk about what’s going on with his friends or will this just be ignored until 3x19? Letting TJ be able to have solo scenes with Kira means that the show can wall this plot off from the rest of the show until 3x19 which is the route they’re going, I fear.

For Cyrus I think this will primarily look to him like TJ is ashamed to be close to him which is why I find it noteworthy that TJ is at school in 3x19 especially since before the re-shoots 3x19 was the last time the show filmed scenes at school. Cyrus feeling that TJ doesn’t want to be close to him would be devastating for Cyrus even if he’s not allowed to express it on screen. They had TJ say I’m sorry for the first time in 3x13 and he can say it again to Cyrus but I think TJ needs to show Cyrus that he’s important to him.

Jonah left Cyrus upset after refusing to wear their matching jackets in S1 and even though Jonah didn’t realize or care the hurt he caused Cyrus he did end up making it up to him by publicly praising him at the awards dinner and giving him a space otters jersey and a hug. I don’t think TJ’s apology would get anywhere near that level of attention but I think another rap is likely but this time it’s a more personal message from TJ to Cyrus. Or something like a hug or a callback to’’ He’s with me’’ from 2x08, something that shows Cyrus that he’s important to TJ. I’d imagine Kira would have to help out with whatever spurs their reconciliation so the audience at least doesn’t hate her anymore. I’m not saying TJ has to jump on stage and rap or hug Cyrus on stage but some sort of moment at the school in front of at least a couple of other people is needed for Tyrus to move past this conflict.

Luke was on set for two days in 3x19 and he and Josh had at least one wardrobe change so we’re probably looking at more than one day in universe. The potential Jandi and Tyrus scenes at the game could be very important as I’ll get in to in a bit. It also looks like TJ may have scenes with Buffy and Cyrus and Cyrus has a scene with Gus in the theatre which suggests Cyrus is getting more focus than usual and could be set up for a callback to 3x13 where Cyrus was miserable on stage but in 3x19 he’s happy.

So far in S3 Tyrus has been cycling through all their big moments: muffin, swings, dyscalculia, and somersaults. If the pattern holds we should get a look back in 3x15. I do think the audience needs something to show that TJ is gay and has a crush on Cyrus if this plot is to have any hope of succeeding. It mirrors something that @cyrusgoodboye noted after S2 aired; that in 2x12 Andi listed all the things Jonah had failed to do in what she thought was their relationship and then in 2b Jonah did all those things in the order she listed as they rekindled their relationship.

One thing that really caught my eye in 3x13 is the out of nowhere Jandi/Tyrus parallel they threw in with both Jonah and TJ letting down Andi and Cyrus (though for obviously different reasons). All of the GHC have a thing for sporty white guys but Andi and Cyrus have a more specific type: green eyed captains with hidden depths and secrets and poor coping mechanisms; which is why the both liked Jonah in S1. Andi and Cyrus are more alike than they are with Buffy just as Jonah and TJ are more alike than they are with Marty. Jonah and TJ have been written as foils from the beginning of TJ’s arc and the show even invented a past for them and has now established them as friends.

In contrast things are going much smoother for Muffy. The show could have dug into Marty icing Buffy out but the show blamed Buffy and dismissed it out of hand. That’s not to say they won’t have drama and angst but ‘’the boy I like has a girlfriend’’ is an order of magnitude less than the issues Andi and Jonah and Cyrus and TJ are facing. What’s also interesting is that Muffy is the only endgame couple that are together by the wedding. We know that Machel sinks in 3x17 as Marty is at the wedding in 3x18; he’s not there as Buffy’s platonic plus one. But obviously Tyrus doesn’t canon until 3x21 and Jonah singing You Girl to Andi isn’t until 3x20 which seems like that’s the big Jandi get back together moment. So both Jandi and Tyrus having scenes together in 3x19 shortly before they canon is very interesting timing and opens up the potential for more endgame parallels.

Another reason I think there may be another rap is that Terri does like to recycle her work and Cyrus realized his crush on TJ during the first rapology and during the second he could realize that TJ likes him back; it’s like poetry it rhymes. It would also create another parallel between Tyrus and Jandi as both of their love interests make a big gesture.

That’s not to say that Tyrus will get anywhere near the attention Jandi or even Muffy gets, it’s far too late for that, but it is interesting that the writers seem to be linking Tyrus with Jandi more so than Muffy; it does suggest a certain ambition on their part even if those ambitions are frustrated.

There are lots of interesting paths for the show to take in 3x19, but as always when it involves Cyrus’ story line, it’s a question of what they’ll be allowed to do. We have Andi and Jonah and Cyrus and TJ in the same scenes for only the 3rd time in the show and the first time they’ve been at the same game since 2x18. There’s potential for Jonah to call back to his ‘’are they friends’’ line and they’ve gone out of their way to make Jonah and TJ friends, will there be any pay off to that? Jonah knows that Cyrus is gay and knows what a look back means, Andi knows that Cyrus is gay and suspects TJ has a crush on Cyrus and is only allowed into Cyrus’ sexuality story line rarely, Buffy would be at the game and she knows that Cyrus is gay and suspects that TJ has a crush on Cyrus and has always been Cyrus’ staunchest supporter, hell Cyrus even has scenes at the spoon with Amber who knows what look backs mean.

The posters we saw in 3x07 spell out the endgame of all this; for TJ to take pride in who he is and for Kira to learn to respect others. Does TJ resuming his openly affectionate ways give Cyrus the confidence to decide to come out to him? The narrative is asking TJ to in a fairly quick time span be okay with being out to the whole world; something it has never demanded of Cyrus. With Andi, Buffy, Jonah, and Kira all knowing about them does that mean Cyrus and TJ will be allowed to act coupley in front of everyone at the party after they confess or can only those four other characters know? Does TJ even have scenes with Marty and Amber? Bex and Bowie are at the party and Bex likely knows that Cyrus is gay from their talk in 2x07 and both of them know who TJ is from 2x18, are they allowed to be the supportive adults who congratulate Cyrus or must they be kept in the dark as well? I can only hope that Terri managed to convince Gary Marsh to let her pull off a satisfying arc in these remaining eps

#Andi Mack #Tyrus #TJ Kippen #Cyrus Goodman #Kira #Jonah Beck #Buffy Driscoll #Jandi #Muffy #Andi Mack Meta #Andi Mack Season 3

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unfolded73 · 5 years

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Decisions (1/1) - schitt’s creek ff

Flashbacks to all the little decisions that brought David and Patrick together to their wedding night. Canon compliant through S5. Rated Teen, 5.6k

Yeah, I’ve got it bad for these two.

(ao3)

~~~~~~~~~~

“Was that okay?” David let his hand slide across Patrick’s abdomen, nails scratching through the hair below his navel. He spooned up against Patrick’s back, ignoring the post-coital sweatiness for once in order to cuddle.

“Okay?” Patrick laughed, or more accurately, giggled. “Did you really ask if that was okay? Because I think I might’ve actually blacked out for a minute there.”

David hummed, the path of his hand continuing to Patrick’s hip. “It’s just, it’s our wedding night, so I felt a certain amount of pressure to live up to expectations. Wedding night sex should be, you know, top five sex.”

Patrick rolled over to face him, his nose nuzzling against David’s bare chest. “Contrary to popular belief, I don’t actually keep score on our sex life.”

“Still--”

“It was amazing. You’re amazing.” Patrick kissed him. “You, my husband, are amazing.”

David tried not be thrilled by being called husband, he did, but his hammering heart had other ideas. He remembered stumbling out onto a Manhattan balcony the morning that gay marriage had been legalized in the States, hungover and with only a vague memory of whom he’d gone to bed with the night before, listening with half an ear as his polyamorous performance artist girlfriend at the time lectured her friends about the fact that marriage was a heteronormative construct to which the queer community never should have aspired in the first place. They all nodded sagely, taking drags off their cigarettes in the morning sunlight. David had nodded too, nodded in agreement that marriage was a prison, a trap, a refuge for desperate and weak-willed breeders. It sometimes occurred to him these days that his opinions back then had been thoroughly molded by those around him, pressed into his mind like handprints into soft concrete. Daniella said marriage was a construct, so David believed marriage was a construct. He wondered (not for the first time, or even the hundredth) what that David would think of him now, looking forward to a settled life with this one man who wore sensible Oxford shirts that he bought at the outlet mall in Elmdale.

“Do you ever think about all the tiny decisions we made that led us here?” Patrick asked.

David shook himself out of his reverie. “Hmm?”

Patrick pulled away far enough to be able to focus on his face. “I mean, there’s any number of ways that if things had gone slightly differently, you and I would never have met. Or at the very least, would never have ended up in business together. Or in a relationship.”

“See, I try not to think about things like that, because imagining never being with you would be very upsetting for me. And you know I don’t like my eyes to get puffy.”

“Yeah, you mentioned that to me several times today.”

“Well, it’s important,” David responded, lifting his hand and gesturing in the air for emphasis.

“Important enough to say during the ceremony, though?”

“It’s just that your vows were very emotional.”

“Yeah, I said those things because I like to watch your eyes get puffy,” Patrick said, smirking at him.

David huffed in annoyance, even has he cupped the back of Patrick’s head, fondly stroking the short hair above his neck. “Anyway, no, I don’t get all Gwyneth in Sliding Doors about my life choices.”

“I never saw that movie.”

David reared back, his eyes widening in horror. “Okay, I’m going to need a divorce.”

“Or we could just watch the movie,” Patrick said, grinning, and then leaning in to kiss him.

David hummed and smiled against Patrick’s lips. “Yeah, I suppose we could just watch the movie.”

~*~

Patrick opened the door of his increasing barren apartment to see Rachel standing there. Her eyes were red from crying, and his stomach twisted with guilt at the sight of her.

“Can I come in?” she asked, and what was he supposed to say to that other than yes, so yes is what he said, stepping back to admit her into the cardboard box forest of his living room.

Rachel looked around despondently. “So you’re really moving?” She was dressed in yoga pants and a sweatshirt, her long, red hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. Patrick wished he could hug her because he really needed a hug, but he kept his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jeans.

“Yeah.”

Her shoulders drooped at that, as if just by asking, she might make him change his mind and stay. Which, given their past, probably wasn’t an unreasonable thing for her to think.

“And you’re just going to drive; you don’t even know where you’re going to live?”

Well, no, that part of the plan he’d told Rachel wasn’t true. He’d wanted it to be true -- wanted to be the kind of person who could just uproot his entire life on a whim and head off into the sunset with no clear idea where he was going to end up. But Patrick was a planner, and in the end he’d been too anxious to go through with that level of spontaneity. Instead he’d browsed job websites until he found something weird but promising, working for a guy named Ray who’d hired him over the phone after a lengthy, very chatty interview. He’d even be able to rent a spare room in Ray’s house, so if Ray turned out to be a serial killer, at least Patrick was making himself fully available to murder at any time of the day or night. He liked to be accommodating that way.

He didn’t want to tell Rachel any of this.

She laughed bitterly. “And here I thought this time, the engagement would stick.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me, I’m sick of your apologies. All you ever do is apologize to me.”

So she came here to berate him, then. Great. Not that he didn’t deserve it, with as many times as he’d broken her heart.

“But I guess that you don’t want to marry me so much that this time you can’t even stand to be in the same town as me,” she continued.

He and Rachel had been best friends in high school, inseparable, and everyone expected them to start dating from the time they were fifteen. Everyone expected it so much that it was like they willed the relationship into existence, and Patrick let himself be swept along with the tide of their expectations. He’d kissed her for the first time after one of his baseball games because he knew he was supposed to. He’d had mediocre sex with her the night of their spring formal because their friends expected it. He’d come home from college and asked her to marry him because his parents and her parents and even the lady who worked the register at the local hardware store had been hinting at him about it. Then a few months later, faced with the fact that being engaged to someone meant you had to actually marry them, he’d panicked and broken off the engagement. That was only the first time he’d broken off their engagement.

It was possible that Patrick was an asshole.

“I just need a fresh start with my life, I can’t--” Stay here. Face you. Face my parents.

“So then go to Toronto, or Chicago, or somewhere normal that people go when they’re trying to get away from home.”

“It’s expensive to live in those places. And I’m a small town guy.”

“I don’t want you to go. I still--” She hiccupped a tiny sob. “I still love you, Patrick.”

He felt like he still loved her too, and also that he’d never had a clear idea of what love actually was. But he knew he couldn’t marry her. With so much uncertainty in his life, he was finally certain of that, albeit several years too late.

“Please don’t go.”

It would make a lot of people happy if he stayed. Rachel, his parents, his buddies from high school who still liked to drink cheap beer and watch hockey. The lady from the hardware store. In leaving, he was disappointing everyone. He could agree not to go, and that weight of disappointing everyone would lift.

Replaced by a heavier weight that he couldn’t quite define, but that had been pushing him down his whole life.

“I’m sorry, Rachel. I have to go.”

~*~

This fucking motel smelled funny, that was why he couldn’t sleep.

David turned over one more time, trying to get comfortable between the scratchy, low thread count sheets. He pulled the sleeve of his designer sweatshirt over his hand and cupped it over his face and inhaled, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to imagine that he was back in his own bed at his parent’s mansion. Or the bed in his Manhattan loft. Or even the bed of a stranger as he avoided the wet spot on the sheets and wondered if it would be easier just to leave now rather than waiting until morning. Literally anywhere would be better than this hellhole.

Flipping onto his back violently, David huffed out a breath.

“Oh my God, David, can you stop fidgeting for like, two minutes?”

“Fuck off, Alexis.”

She made an unhappy squeaking noise. “You don’t have to be such a dick to me all the time, you know.”

“I think I do.” He was still furious at her that she would have left with Stavros, abandoning him to their mother’s misery and their father’s misplaced optimism and this place.

“I could leave too, you know,” he added.

“Oh really, David? Where would you go?”

“To New York, where I lived.”

“Your apartment is gone, David.”

“I have friends, Alexis.”

“Oh, do you. Name one.”

He opened his mouth, but before he could say a person who definitely existed and wasn’t made up, Alexis added, “And I mean someone who would actually care enough about you to let you crash on their sofa now that you’re poor. Also, how would you even get to New York? We don’t even have a car. Or money for a plane ticket on a…” -- and here she shuddered -- “commercial airline.”

“Believe me, if I wanted to find someone to put me up in New York, I could. There are men who would be more than happy to send me a plane ticket if I asked.”

“Ew, David. Like a sugar daddy? Even you should have more self-respect than that.”

He snorted. Self-respect. As if.

“And anyway, you’re not the young twink you once were; no one’s going to pay you to be their boy toy now,” she added.

“Jump off a bridge, Alexis,” he said, in no small part because he feared what she said was true. He didn’t have any friends who’d cared about anything but his money and connections, and he probably was too old to attract the attention of someone who might support him financially just because he was pretty and good at sucking dick. A small voice in the back of his head told him he was better off without those kinds of people. He ignored it.

“Fine, prove it. Leave,” she huffed. “Go to New York and find some skeevy guy to support you, see if I care.”

A part of him was so angry with Alexis that he almost got up at one thirty in the morning and stormed out of the room. He’d find a way to get out of this town somehow. He’d walk. He’d hitchhike. He’d sprout wings and fly.

After a long pause during which he stayed under the too-thin bedding, David said, “I can’t leave, I need to be here for Mom. She won’t survive this without me.”

“Yeah, that’s why you’re staying,” Alexis muttered sarcastically.

“Shut up.”

“You shut up.”

~*~

“Feeling better?” Stevie asked as she took the joint out of his hand and put it to her lips. David watched as she took a deep drag and held the smoke in her lungs for a few seconds before blowing it up at the sky.

He leaned back on the worn picnic table behind the motel and looked up at the way the light filtered through the trees. Schitt’s Creek could be oddly beautiful when viewed from the right angle. And when high.

“Yeah. Better.”

“Done freaking out about the store?”

“Probably not, but I am presently done freaking out. At present.”

Stevie giggled, and David rolled over on the table to take the joint back from her.

“It’s the consignment part of it that’s crucial, but I wasn’t able to impart that to that uptight little cutie at Ray’s.”

“You talk like your mother when you’re high.”

David gasped, sitting up. “You take that back.”

Stevie blinked at him. “I just mean you use bigger words. Unnecessarily large words,” she overennunciated. “Wait, you said ‘cutie.’”

“Who did?” He shook his head side-to-side, trying to clear it. “I mean, I said what about what?”

“You said ‘that uptight cutie at Ray’s.’ He’s cute? You failed to mention that, you just said he was snippy.”

“He’s not cute; he was pressuring me to fill out a form. Nothing about that was cute.” David stretched back out on the picnic table.

“And yet you said it.”

“Also I’m pretty sure he was wearing Levi’s.”

Stevie clutched at her heart. “Oh my God.”

“You may not think I can tell when you’re making fun of me but I actually can. I just mean he’s not my type. Which doesn’t matter because I’m sure he’s straight. He was pretty much wearing the straight boy uniform.”

“You sure are worried about what this non-cute boy’s sexual preferences are, David.”

“Nuh-uh.”

Stevie didn’t respond to that, and so they were silent for a while. David continued to squint up at the sunlight-dappled trees and Stevie… thought her Stevie thoughts. David imagined this is what his teen years would have been like if he’d grown up with no money in a town like this: getting stoned with a friend on a sad picnic table behind a motel. No parties with half-naked models and bowls of ecstasy. At the moment, he couldn’t put his finger on any reason why this would have been such a bad way to grow up. He certainly could have used a friend like Stevie in those years. Someone to support him and to call him on his bullshit.

David took a deep breath and broke the silence. “I guess what I wanted to say before I was stoned is, maybe it’s not too late for me to give up on the store idea. My mother was right, I’ve never done anything like this on my own before, and any belated maternal instinct she may have had to encourage me--”

“David Rose, don’t you dare give up on the store. I’ll be furious with you if you do, I mean it.”

“There’s a lot I don’t know about running a business.”

“I know. But you can ask your dad for help. Or you can ask the cutie at Ray’s.”

“I hate you,” he said, but he reached into his pocket and ran his finger along the edge of Patrick’s business card.

“Please don’t give up on it, David.”

He rolled over and looked at Stevie, her black hair tousled in the light breeze. He felt the sudden urge to tell her he loved her, but he figured that was just the marijuana talking. He bit his lips to keep the declaration in and sat up. “I’m going to go down to the store,” he announced.

“To do what?” she asked, hopping down off the picnic table and taking David’s hand to pull him to his feet. The world tilted alarmingly on its axis from this new vantage point.

“To work on my business plan.”

~*~

Patrick called his parents on Sunday afternoons without fail. He felt like if he didn’t stick to the schedule, if he let a Sunday go by and didn’t call them, then he’d start going longer and longer between calls and eventually he’d barely talk to them at all. So he called, right on schedule, even though the thought of talking to them today had caused a ball of anxiety to form in his stomach for some reason that he couldn’t explain.

After the exchange of pleasantries and listening to the latest gossip from his hometown, an uncomfortable silence descended.

“So, I… uh…” Why was this so hard to talk to his parents about? Patrick squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the phone harder against his ear. “I’m not going to be working for Ray anymore.”

“Oh,” his mom said, and he could hear the mixture of confusion and worry in that one little syllable. “That didn’t last very long, did it?”

“I know you said Ray’s a little… scattered, but you probably need to give it some more time, son,” his father said in that deep, sonorous voice that Patrick had failed to inherit.

“Does that mean you’ll be coming back home?” his mom asked, and shit, of course she would jump to that conclusion.

“No, no no, that’s not why I’m… I’m going into partnership with another guy to help him run a store.”

“What guy?” his father asked at the same time his mother said, “A store?”

“Um, his name is David,” Patrick said, and it felt weirdly thrilling and forbidden to speak David’s name out loud to his parents. He frowned; what an odd thought. “The general store in town closed down, and David’s leased it to turn it into a space where he’s going to sell products from local vendors on consignment. It’s a good business model.”

“It sounds interesting,” his dad said, which sounded like a diplomatic way of saying ‘risky.’ Or perhaps a diplomatic way of saying ‘I can’t fathom why you would you give up a good job and a relationship with a lovely girl like Rachel to move to the ass end of the world and drift from one job you’re overqualified for to another.’

“It should be. I’m excited about it.” He paced across the floor, suddenly anxious to get off the phone.

“I saw Mr. Stephens a few days ago,” his father said.

“Oh, yeah?” Theo Stephens had been Patrick’s boss at the bank.

“He said your job is still available if you want to come back home.”

“Tell him he really needs to hire a replacement,” Patrick said.

“I think he did, but it didn’t work out. So he’s looking again to fill the position, and I thought--”

“I’m staying here in Schitt’s Creek, Dad.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but why? What does that town have that your hometown doesn’t?”

A rush of images filled Patrick’s head. The clean white walls of the store, and the nice way it smelled now that he and David had washed everything thoroughly and filled it with skin and hair care products. The way David smirked when Patrick said something witty and sardonic, like there was a big smile inside of him that he was barely containing. The way David’s long, ringed fingers looked as he pressed labels onto bottles of moisturizer and bags of tea.

“It has the store.”

“Oh, stop giving Patrick a hard time, Clint,” his mother said. “We just miss you, is all.”

Patrick’s face flushed with shame that he was making his mother sad. “I know, Mom. I miss you too.”

“You’ll keep us posted about how it goes with the store?” his dad asked.

“Yeah, of course,” he said, but there was a part of him that never wanted to mention the store to them again. It was his and David’s, and sharing it with people at home, even his parents, felt strangely blasphemous.

“We love you, son.”

“Love you, too.”

The next few days were filled with body milk and spreadsheets of vendors and inventory and laughter and his heart squeezing uncomfortably in his chest every time he looked at David across the room. On Patrick’s next day off, he got up early and went for a hike, like if he didn’t keep moving his skin might turn itself inside out.

Or like he might have to admit that he had romantic feelings for David.

It wasn’t that the thought of being gay had never occurred to him before; he wasn’t born under a rock, after all. But he dismissed it, because gay men weren’t like him. Gay men were like David, fashion-conscious and unaware of what a change-up pitch was. And then there had been Rachel and a few other girls in college, keeping him from seriously questioning his sexuality. He looked straight, he acted straight, he’d had sex with women. Although, true, he’d always wondered what the big deal about sex was, because he’d secretly never thought it was all that great. And true, he’d once sat in a darkened theater watching Avengers and spending a lot more time focusing on Chris Evans than on Scarlett Johansson. But he’d never really fallen for a boy either, and eventually Patrick had concluded that he wasn’t a particularly sexual person. That was a thing, after all; he’d read about it.

Then he met David Rose.

He spent hours working on the store’s budget and thinking about the turn of David’s neck. He stocked shelves and thought about David’s elegant fingers, with those silver rings that would catch the light and attract Patrick’s attention like a moth to a streetlamp. He stared into the middle distance, listening to the jazz that David insisted was an essential part of the store’s aesthetic, and thought about what David’s mouth would feel like on his own.

There was no use denying it: for the first time in his life, Patrick was falling for someone, and it was a man. And while that was confusing enough, the bigger problem was that it was his business partner.

Patrick reached the overlook point, and he stopped to catch his breath, sweat running down between his shoulder blades.

“I’m gay,” he said out loud to the forest, testing the words, the very concept, in his mouth.

“I’m gay. I’m very, very gay for David Rose,” he said, and then laughed. He sounded crazy.

An argument could be made that it would be the wisest course never to act on his feelings because of the business. The most likely outcome to sharing his feelings with David would be a humiliating rejection; Patrick wasn’t the kind of person David would be attracted to, surely, and the best he could hope for would be for David not to laugh in his face. Even if by some miracle David was interested, all that would probably lead to would be a short relationship that would inevitably end, leaving Patrick working day in and day out with the man who’d broken his heart.

He imagined asking David out, and David saying yes. Suddenly it was all he wanted, to go on a date with David, but he didn’t know if he’d have the courage to do it. Still, admitting that he wanted to, admitting what his feelings were, that was almost as good as making the decision to act on them.

“I’m so fucked,” Patrick said to the trees. They nodded in the breeze in agreement.

~*~

It was a rare day off from the store, and all David had wanted to do was sleep until noon and then lie in bed and eat a bag of chips and watch whatever was on the Hallmark Channel, which was available on the new cable package that his dad had gotten for the motel. Instead, his mother had woken him up with a list of chores, the latest of which was helping her to groom her wigs. So putting it mildly, David was crabby. He wanted to text Patrick and tell him about the trials his mother was putting him through, but Patrick was working at the store alone today and he probably wouldn’t appreciate the interruption.

“I like you and Patrick together,” his mother said, and David eyed her suspiciously, wondering if she’d finally learned to read his mind.

“There’s nothing to like yet; we’ve been on one date and we’ve kissed a few times, that’s all.” He combed the wig he was working on a little more vigorously, which got him a reproachful look from Moira.

“Perhaps that’s so, but the spark between you is pellucid for all to see.” She gave him a knowing smile. “He lights up when you walk in the room, and I dare say the reverse is also accurate.”

“Okay, well.” David bit down on a smile, lest he prove her point. “There’s still a lot that can go wrong, that’s all. And when things do go wrong, both my personal life and my business will be fucked, so.”

“Don’t be so fatalistic, David. You mustn’t assume that things will go wrong.”

“Things always go wrong.” He set the hairbrush down with a clatter. “I’m the first guy he’s been with. Literally the first man he’s ever kissed. It’s… it’s like holding a baby bird in my hand while riding a roller coaster. Any minute now we’re going to go over a big drop and I’ll forget and” -- he closed his fist tightly -- “I’ll crush him.”

“A very evocative avian metaphor, darling, but Patrick’s a grown man, not a bébé bird. Inexperienced with some activities, I’m sure, but he doesn’t strike me as someone who can’t take care of himself.” She gave him a sidelong glance. “Are you sure you aren’t the bird on the ferris wheel, David?”

“I said roller coaster,” he responded petulantly. “And hardly.”

Moira looked unconvinced.

“God, what am I doing, getting involved with my business partner? This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in a… lifetime of dumb things,” he said with a flourish of his hand in the air. “I should end it now, before things get even messier.”

Tilting her head and regarded him for a moment, Moira reached out and put a hand on his bicep. “You’ve often put your heart in the care of people who have hurt you. But that isn’t because you are feeble-minded. It’s because those people weren’t worthy of you. Patrick, I think, may be worthy of you.”

“Okay, you barely know him.”

His mother just smiled. “I have a good feeling about him, that’s all. Have a little faith in the power of love.”

“Ew.”

She ignored that. “I implore you, David, don’t end things with him before they’ve even begun. Open your heart to the possibility of joy.”

“Ugh.” David went back to combing out the wig. “Fine.”

~*~

“Hey, do you wanna get a drink after rehearsal?” Patrick asked, which made Stevie narrow her eyes at him in confusion.

“David’s not expecting you?”

“We are capable of being apart for an evening.” At Stevie’s skeptical look, he added. “I told him you were stressed about the show and that I was planning to take you out for a drink.”

“So you lied.”

“No, I didn’t. You are stressed about the show, and I was planning to take you out for a drink.”

Patrick was being weird. “What’s going on, Brewer?”

“Nothing’s going on. I. want. to. get. a. drink. Do. you. want. to. get. a. drink.” Each word came out in a monotone.

She huffed. “Sure.”

“Great.” He looked simultaneously frustrated that she was being so difficult and yet pleased that she’d finally agreed.

When they were released by Moira from Cabaret rehearsal, sweaty and exhausted, Stevie was surprised when Patrick led her toward his car instead of down the street to the cafe. “Where are we going?”

“The Wobbly Elm,” he said, unlocking the passenger door and opening it for her.

“We could just go to the cafe,” she said, but she got in the car anyway. Going to the cafe meant she might have to sample one of Twyla’s terrible cocktail experiments.

Patrick got in the car and cranked the engine. “I find that when I have conversations in the cafe, somehow half the town knows what I was talking about by morning.”

Stevie’s suspicion meter edged up a couple more notches. “You are being really weird.”

“I know,” he said, pulling out onto the main road out of the center of town.

“If something bad is happening with David, or if something bad is about to happen, like if you’re planning to break up with him, you better tell me now. If you wait until I’ve got a drink in me at the bar, I might beat you with a pool cue and leave you for dead in the woods.”

Patrick laughed. “Nothing like that, I promise. I don’t think you’ll feel the temptation to beat me to death.” And then he changed the subject to Cabaret, and Stevie let him, because she had an infinite well of frustration to express about the show and her part in it.

He let her rant the whole way to the bar, but once they had their drinks ordered, he put a gentle hand on her arm. “You’re way too hard on your performance, you know. Your voice is actually really good.”

She snorted, taking a large pull from her beer. “It really isn’t. I know what singers are supposed to sound like, and I don’t sound like that.”

“Maybe not, but you sound real, and you sound vulnerable. You’re gonna be a fantastic Sally; I mean that.”

Stevie flushed, uncomfortable with the compliment. “Thanks,” she said, and then cleared her throat. “Okay, what did you drag me all the way out here for?” Now it was Patrick’s turn to look uncomfortable. “Oh. Well, there’s something I want to do, and I’m hoping that if it’s a terrible idea, you’ll talk me out of it.”

“Okay,” Stevie said slowly. “It probably is a terrible idea, but what the hell -- what is it?”

Patrick took a long drink from his beer glass as if for strength. “I’m thinking about asking David to marry me.”

Stevie almost choked on her beer. “Oh my God. Oh my God! Patrick!” She wanted to hug him, but she wasn’t sure if they were hugging friends, or non-hugging friends. “Patrick, that’s amazing!”

He just nodded. “Yes, but is it a terrible idea?”

She had to pause at that. Had David ever mentioned marriage to her, or what he thought of it? She didn’t think so. “Have you ever talked about marriage with him?”

“Not in those terms, but we’re starting to talk about… really long term things. Being together years from now, and what we might do. It just seems like that’s where his head is, like he finally trusts that I’m not going to lose interest in him. And I want to… I guess I’m just a traditional guy at heart and I’d really like to have that whole thing. The wedding. The vows and the cake and the dancing.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “But I don’t know. Maybe he won’t want that.”

“I might’ve assumed that about David at one point, that he wasn’t the marrying kind. But watching him with you, like the way he was with your parents, and planning your birthday party?” Stevie smiled, and then suddenly she had to force back tears. “I think if I had to place a bet on it, I’d bet on him saying yes.”

Patrick let out a breath he was holding. “Okay, cool. Okay.” And then he smiled one of his soft smiles at her. “So do I have your blessing?”

Her eyes widened. “My what?”

“I mean, I could ask his father, I guess, but I don’t think David would appreciate that. Also I don’t think Mr. Rose would be able to keep a secret. And anyway, I feel like you’re the… you’re like the guardian of David’s heart, if that makes sense. So I think you’re the one I should ask.”

The tears became impossible to hold back now. Stevie felt like the play was scraping her raw as it was, exposing a deep well of emotions just below the surface. Grabbing a cocktail napkin, she dabbed at her eyes.

“Stevie, don’t cry, you’re gonna make me cry.”

Laughing, she handed him a cocktail napkin. “You’re such a softy.”

“I know, I know.”

“Yes, you have my blessing. I mean, I basically bullied David into realizing he was into you, so it would be pretty shitty of me not to give you my blessing to marry him.”

Patrick smirked at her. “Yeah, that would be pretty shitty, and you did what now?”

Stevie picked up her beer glass and clinked it against Patrick’s. “I love both you idiots.”

~*~

“Stevie called us idiots,” Patrick mumbled as they were both drifting off to sleep.

“Yeah, her wedding toast left something to be desired, and the fact that I cried anyway just shows how ragged my emotions were today.”

“Not in the toast, I mean when I asked for her blessing to propose, she said ‘I love both you idiots’.”

David pressed his resulting grin against Patrick’s forehead. “That sounds like Stevie.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m so glad my family lost all our money. I’m so glad you couldn’t stay in your hometown anymore and that Ray posted that stupid job online. I’m so glad we made all the right decisions that led us to right here, right now,” David said in a rush, like he had to get the words out before he changed his mind about saying them.

Patrick put his hand over David’s where it rested on his hip and threaded their fingers together, bringing David’s hand to his lips. “Me too, sweetheart.”

END

#david x patrick #david x patrick ff #schitt's creek #schitt's creek ff #my fic

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moonlit-maiden · 5 years

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On Nico di Angelo, "Pairing the Spare" and How to Shaft a Complex Character in Less Than 500 Pages

This will be long. Strap in. This is long overdue.

So more longtime followers of mine may already know this but I adore Nico di Angelo from the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. They also know I continue to eastly, to this day, about how he was handled at the end of the Heroes of Olympus series. Now, I've never fully delved into the 'why's and I will do so now as it's probably best to actually articulate it at some point instead of continually lamenting it without presenting rationale.

First: WHY do I love his character so much? It all boils down to shared/similar experiences for social ostracization. Growing up, I was quickly pushed out of social circles due to who my parents were; immigrants. Simply existing with the ethnicity and cultural heritage I had labeled me as untouchable. To sum it up succinctly; white but not the "right" kind of white. Keep in mind this was at the end of the Cold War; attitudes towards Slavic peoples were poor as hell. Fuck, they still are 30 years later! Nico is ousted due to his heritage too; being a Hades child. It's not something he chose nor controlled. He himself did nothing wrong to any of the campers yet when word got out they pushed him away. The same happened to me. As soon as the school kids and/or parents realized my parents were Slavic immigrants they shoved me out. It still hurts to this day. As such, I can deeply empathize with Nico.

Why does this matter? Because that blanket social rejections fucks people up. Nico is shown throughout the series to be distrustful, preferring to isolate himself. He has been shown time and time again he is unwanted due to being a Hades child. Eventually you just... stop trying. When you beat a dog enough times it stops coming around. This is the same thing. In addition, Nico has lost his elder sister, Bianca. The one person he felt understood him because she, too, was similar to him. Now I have Opinions on Bianca that would piss off 99% of the fandom but it's irrelevant here. Her death occurs shorts before or after it's revealed Nico is a Child of Hades. He is 10 years old with no one and the whole camp rejects him. It's a cruel thing to do to someone no matter how much you try and justify it. Rick did an incredible job highlighting how racism, ethnocentrism and bullying harms a child. Nico immediately became my favorite for this and I applauded Rick for having the balls to shine a very uncomfortable light on a situation similar to mine. A situation, I'm very sure many first generation or immigrant kids can relate to.

So where did it all go wrong? To be blunt, Blood of Olympus. Now, the final volume of the HHO series is a hot mess in general. Almost ALL characters get shafted on way or another with mischaracterization, simplification or backtracker on character growth. Not to mention the plot feels very slapdash and messy at times. But again, another subject. We see Reyna and Coach Hedge start to really get to know Nico and realize the extent at how bad his abuse has been at the hands of monsters and demigods alike. Neither feels this is right and shows it as best they can while respecting Nico's boundaries. In the previous book, House of Hades, Jason does the same thing. But then we finally get back to Camp Half Blood and shit falls apart for Nico's arc.

It's plainly obvious to anyone who's ready the series in full that Nico is traumatized, even moreso then most of the cast. He has been physically tortured multiple times, psychologically tortured by the camp and emotionally manipulated by several individuals. Keep in mind, by HOO, Nico is roughly 14. Fourteen. Can you even image how that feels?! He's only just now, after Jason, Hazel and Reyna's persistence that they will not hurt him, that they genuinely care for his well being, that they don't care about his heritage (and don't care about his sexuality, from Jason specifically). And then Will appears and Nico magically forgets 4 years of pining for Percy. It's so jarring, like a screeching record! This is when we enter the issue.

In writing, there are many rules. Like all rules, they can be bent of broken under certain circumstances. The rule in question is the 'pair the spare' rule. The rule states that if the pain cast has paired off, do not pair of the "spare" aka the odd man out unless it's been led up to. Rick chose to ignore this rule and pair Nico with Will, citing that as a canon LGBT character, he wanted to send the message to LGBT kids that they were worthy of love. This in itself is not a bad message. What IS bad is execution. First, Will is a background character. He very much has potential, don't get me wrong! But outside of having a few minor scenes in final volume of the PJO series, Will has only ever been mentioned in passing. From what we've seen, he and Nico have never interacted. On top of that, Will who is a healer, completely dismisses Nico's trauma. This is a very big red flag. When someone is traumatized, particularly psychologically, the absolute last thing to do is to dismiss the experience as "teen angst" like Will does. It shows absolute disrespect for Nico as a human being. And he is a healer. He should know better. In addition, Nico himself is not fond of the dismissive personality Will is displaying, the 'I'm going to tell you what to do' persona because he's a doctor so 'doctor knows best'. And in Nico's POV he says as much in his inner monologue! Yet he's "drawn to him". I'm sorry, but I call bullshit. Nico has been shown in 9 1/2 books to be quite smart, paranoid about social intentions due to past experiences and won't take crap from no one, not even his own father, the Lord of the (fucking) Underworld. Yet he'll just grit his teeth and basically follow Will's lead with little complaint? It's so out of character it's jarring and painful.

We briefly see Nico and Will in the first Trials of Apollo book. They're acting like the normal couple with Nico being the "sassy, snarky" one of the pair. Please note it's been 6-8months since the end of BOO, in-universe. In this one scene it completely erases Nico's trauma, very valid feelings of distrust and hurt, his struggle with both his heritage and his sexuality, his years-long unrequited love for Percy, his grief over his sister and his struggle to make connections with his fellow demigods. Love is powerful but its not a cure-all. It doesn't make the years of hurt and abuse magically disappear (trust me. I know.) and it doesn't change someone's personality to well-adjusted.

Pairing Nico with Will at the end of BOO completely destroys his characterization from a writing standpoint. All the real struggle, grief and unpleasant consequences of abusing and bullying people who are "other" in socially-acceptable ways is wiped away in less then 50 pages. It also send a very VERY dangerous message to LGBT youth; find someone you're attracted to and they'll fix you. That's a toxic message to tell to straight kids so why the fuck would you tell it to LGBT kids!? Unlike most LGBT character in literature that I can tell are shoehorned it, Nico was planned to be gay from the start, I have no issue with this. What I do have issue with is throwing his character out the window so he can chase some cute blond ass. Nico deserves better then that as a character. People who suffered socially-acceptable abuse deserve better then that. Immigrants and first-generation kids deserved better then that. LGBT youth deserved better then that.

THAT is why I keep getting so pissed; Rick took a genuinely complex character and fucked him over so he could lazily pair the spare and not be accused of leaving the only canonically gay character single. But there is a reason 'do not pair the spare' is a rule. It's better to leave a character single then slapdashedly pair them up. This goes double for characters who have trauma in their life and trauma is a serious issue that should be respectfully addressed. Love is powerful. Love helps to heal. But the love of family (Hazel) or budding friends (Jason and Reyna) is just as important, valid and send a powerful message. It sends the message 'you are not alone. You are worthy of love. You are a human worthy of regarding of both your experiences and your fears.' Pairing Will with Nico completely and utterly stomps on this message. It sends horrible signals to LGBT youth and scraps his complex character into the token goth gay boy. And Nico di Angelo deserves better then what he was given.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#nico di angelo #hoo #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians

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darkspellmaster · 6 years

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Costume designs and the role of the Skirt in the Modern Female Hero.

With recent discussions over costumes in regard to not only She-ra but in the past few years in regard to Wonder Woman and several other prominent female heroes, I wanted to step back and take a look at why a skirt, in a lot of cases, is actually a better option for a fight then say a very tight leather outfit.

I had this discussion with my male friend who had just started to read Wonder Woman with the New 52 and he asked why it was that people were upset over the redesign with the pants. My answer at the time was, they look like jeans, you can’t really fight well in jeans designed like that. They will rip and tear, and she is a warrior and shouldn’t have to be restricted by what’s on her legs for moving. A skirt or shorts would work better for her.

He at the time replied that she should wear pants. We went back and forth for a while until I brought up the fact that having a lady wear a skirt isn’t meaning she’s a weaker fighter, skirts are actually less restrictive for movement and one of the reasons why the Romans and the Greeks wore them into battle, along with the Scots who wore kilts. The idea of the skirt as a worn by a warrior predates a lot of modern conceptions as women and men wore the style when fighting. Lets we forget that part of the idea of armor during the time of the knights was because of the newer weapons that had supplanted the bronze age swords of the period with harder steel weapons, so they needed more to protect them than the light armor and leather that they were wearing.

However this idea of the skirt still stuck around regarding fashion for women, because, well, people like legs (although for a long period showing any legs off was a bad idea). Women, and men, in the entertainment world tended at the time to stick to shorts and it was shown in how Strong men were used for the Superhero look (see DC and Marvel with the outside underwear) while ladies like Wonder Woman were given more of a swimsuit/athletic look. Now the change to this started around the time of the whole issue with the Comic book Panic that came about because of the book Seduction of the innocent came out and freaked people out about various things in comics. Women at this time were wearing skirts, though they were limited.

This changed by the 1950s to Female heroes wearing skirts to show their feminine side. The idea had always been there that women could wear make up and look “dolled up” in comics way back in the days of Wonder Woman, because she wore make up all the damn time in the stories. Also a number of the female heroes were Girls, and seen as well teens and children. The reason being that girls in the period wore skirts. It was pretty much ordered by the schools that girls had to wear skirts at the time. It was the 50s. Into the 1960s things changed and you saw skirts replaced with pants, shorts and in some cases the start of the bathing suit look. The trend continued into the 1970s, and some what in the 1980s where the suits changed some, but were mostly one piece swim wear for the most part for costumes of some characters. It really wasn’t until the 1990s that you saw this “Overly sexy” look come about and I can point to the shift being by the late 1980s you had a lot of cheese cake showing up in movies, so to drive sales of comics (which the industry screwed up on it’s own) a lot of artist started to turn to making women look more desirable and wearing less. You can kind of thank Image Comics for a lot of that as well.

So why talk about any of that? Well to give an idea of where the skirts came from. Most heroes that wear skirts were invented in the 1950s and the look was popular among the female population. So of course you would have the characters in books wearing skirts. This never though replaced the fact that they were strong and independent characters that had their own villains to fight and later on allowed for newer female characters to come in and stand out as leads.

By the way for those that think that a strong character can’t wear a skirt and still kick butt, well here are a few characters that do wear skirts and are seen as iconic, independent and strong females that have inspired both men and women in all walks of life.

Starting with Super Girl.

Kara Kent, or Kara Zor-el is as strong as her cousin Clark and can pretty much take on anyone he can. She has the same set of powers that he does, and one version of her later became Power Girl who, depending on the writer, can in some cases lift twice as much as he can. She also almost single handed beat the Anti-moniter.

Marvel Girl -aka Jean Gray

Early costumes for Jean was this green piece after graduation. Her reason for it came down to her wanting to look different than the other members of her team and fashionable as well. She is, bar Xavier, arguably the strongest mutant on the planet with her mental capabilities, and has been shown to have so much power that the Phoenix force stayed with her for many many years after the first Saga finished.

Mary Marvel

Mary is the sister of Billy Baston, aka Captain Marvel aka Shazam. Like her brother when she calls down on the power of Shazam she can become Mary Marvel, who is just as strong and powerful as her brother, and blessed by the gods. This girl can do what her brother can, and, on top of all of that, has proven to be able to go toe to toe with Super Girl and Power Girl in recent years. She is a force to be reckoned with. (And Ignore the Black Mary Marvel stuff that Johns wrote for Countdown it made no sense.)

Flamebird aka Bette Kane

The niece of Kate Kane, Elizabeth “Bette” Kane started her career as a wanna be side kick and a fan of Robin. She grew to be as good a fighter as her aunt, and pre -52, she ended up becoming a teacher who was a strong detective in her own right. Her Aunt has taught her various forms of martial arts and the two train together as Bette intended to become a person that could protect others the way that she saw Robin (Dick Grayson) protect people during his tenure.

Bomshell version of Batwoman

Basically Kate Kane as a baseball player and wears the outfit that her team wears when she fights. It’s pretty much all the awesomeness of Kate Kane but just wearing a female baseball uniform worn in the 1940s.

Ms. Marvel aka Kamala Khan

While technically considered a tunic, the top part of Ms. Marvel’s outfit is considered a dress and can be worn as such. Kamala added the tights and other aspects because of her preference for dressing. However, yes that is a dress she has on. Also let’s not forget how powerful she is and how cool she can be even when geeking out. See her meeting with Wolverine for the first time.

The Sailor Senshi

When Naoko Takeuchi first created this group of girls she had one thing on her mind. Sentai. You know, Power Rangers. But she wanted to use fashion as it is one of her passions. So she created these strong girls who grow as the series goes on, but every one of them wears an outfit that is recognizable to the female population in Japan, that of the school girl uniform. Yes the skirts are short, but that allows for their movement and is part of the Sentai look of uniformity with color co-ordination. Also did I mention that Sailor Moon literally saved Earth and everyone from a darkness by the power of her love for it, and killed parts of Chaos, an entity that has existed since the dawn of time. Yeah, girls in school skirts can crush monsters.

Jun from Gachaman

Jun, or princess if you go by BoTP, is one of the strongest fighters of the Gachaman team. Her skills as a master of Kagaku Ninpo allow her to use her aglity to create powerful kicks and hits on her enemies. She also uses a Yo-yo as a whip and flail and it’s electric.

Wonder Woman aka Princess Diana, Diana Prince

Do I even need to talk about her? I think not.

Xena Warrior Princess

Played by Lucy Lawless until the early 2000s, Xena was a huge character, powerful and full of compassion. After being a battle hardened character who at one point was an enemy of Hercules, she later went on to spin off on her own show and became not only a mother, but also was seen as a gay icon for many women and men.

The Female lead in Assassin’s Creed Odyssey.

A Spartan by birth, our canonical lead here, as said by the development team and the books, sports the same fashion as her non cannon male counter part.

Both run around in a skirt and are warriors trained by birth to do battle with the forces that are causing issues for their people.

Chun li Street fighter

One of the oldest Video game heroines. Chun Li is an interpol agent and has many awards under her belt. A known master of various martial arts, she also is a sharp shooter. Her outfit is that of a Chinese qipao, a type of dress made popular in the 1920s, which she wears in honor of her late mother, and which she modified for movement.

So with that in mind I would like to Add She-Ra to this list of Bad -ass females that wear skirts when fighting.

She-Ra aka Princess Adora

With a strong sense of morality, the same strength as her brother when he’s in He-man form, and the skills with a sword and a gun, (and a strong jaw line to boot) She-Ra fights in a war that has nothing to do with her directly and left home to help her friends in the Rebellion. Her transformation is much like that of Mary Marvel, in that she calls down the power from Gray Skull and becomes a more powerful version of herself capable of fighting off Hordak and his evil Horde.

So, with that in mind. Anyone else know of any bad-ass female characters that wear skirts?

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