#and for full understanding what made me love him was the last route LOL so he's like...a little twisted to me
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If you could give 9s confidently sexy outfits like 2b can have what would you want them to look like?
Oooh that’s a fun question! Though I gotta be honest I’m not like…into 9S. He’s one of my favorite characters & Ig I do think he’s attractive but it’s not like "WISH HE WAS MINE!" That goes for all fictional characters I like where you could call it a crush? Or even if I think they look good in xyz outfit or art it doesn’t really mean I’m into them. Sorry that wasn’t your question but it’s a thing that's been on my mind 😅
Now for my extremely in depth answer that makes the first part seem like a lie!
Male silhouettes are very interesting to me because they’re so simple. I think a lot of designs phone it in and don't play around as much. You'll see a girl's outfit incorporating 35 fetishes, and then the guy has basic armor. Boooo!! Guys have attractive elements. They're just different. Anyway, 9S has some interesting things going on with his alt outfits especially that I like a lot.
My favorite is the Nier Reincarnation one
I like that you can see his arms pfft. I really like the shape of shoulders so I like when a male character design has a tight shirt and short sleeves like that. And the strip of skin showing on the arms is more creative than long sleeves. It’s like putting thigh highs on a girl instead of tights LOL Even the slouchy shorts play with his body shape a little. And is that a garter?! Nice...
Then, looking at two of his concept art outfits. The suspenders/body harness on B is really cool. I love body harnesses--especially like the ones those K pop boys wear. I keep a folder of outfit inspiration for my doll and a lot of it is pictures of K Pop boy outfits. I like what they do with chains on the hands and those half gloves. Admittedly I've always liked the aesthetic of bondage...
Then on C, I really like shorter shorts and bag strapped on his leg like hello??? There's some Fire Emblem cypher or comic art where they'd strap the tomes on the mage's legs and I'd always look at that like WOW!!
In his regular outfit, I like that he has a choker. Like why don't we put chokers on men more often? That's inspired.
Boots with heels are cool too! Like what Joker from P5 has.
I save a lot of gothic ouji/lolita pair outfits as well
To me the most interesting thing is the...effort. There's effort put into the masculine outfit. That's some beef I have with a lot of Rin and Len Kagamine outfits. It feels like they design Rin's & then slap shorts on it and say GET OVER HERE LEN without considering what would make Len look cool as a guy independently from Rin. (I am also a Len Kagamine fan)
I like to make fun of the Nier Automata pop up shop art. And this part is arguably more about how the character is drawn than the outfit itself but whatever.
This is from the Animate cafe, and I think they totally phoned it in on 9S. 2B feels over designed and not that great to me either. But just looking at 9S, what's he have? A basic suit with shorts? The tailcoat and sock garters are interesting but it's just...not doing anything for him. The shorts are giving little boy too. I know he always wears shorts but in this picture he doesn't feel equal to 2B. It's like hey 9S is here too!
BUT THIS
Ngl a friend totally sent this art to me to make fun of how over designed their outfits are. But this is my favorite anime promo art with new outfits we've gotten so far because they put equal effort into 9S. And the outfits are so lolita. They're a mess...together.
Going back to the main point though, I like when effort is put into a guy's outfit. Thee sexiest thing to me is...trying.
And personal elements I like are: showing the upper arms, harnesses, chains, cool boots, and stuff in that realm. I think 9S could pull any of this off. I'd like to see him have an outfit with slouchy pants. Or like...shoulder or waist cutouts. Even on a really simple all black outfit that can be cool. Show a little skin! Give me something!
I think that's all! K pop, cyber/streetwear, and gothic fashion are big inspirations for me when dressing my 9S doll and that's my general direction with him. I see 9S drawn in boyish looks a lot, but I think that since I have so many precious anime sons who are literal children, I like thinking of 9S as more mature and kinda cool. Like he could be hot...if he wanted
#asks#this is long so ill tag it forreal#9s#nier automata#and for full understanding what made me love him was the last route LOL so he's like...a little twisted to me#I won't deny that he is baby but a guy can be two things#reminder 9S is not my son. He lives in my house & I buy him jewelry
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i'm curious, do you know why or have and theories on why they make cloti kiss but clerith only hug/hold hands? I was thinking that clerith is more pure and their love is slowly blossoming aka slowburn which I find cute and very fitting for them but the clerith shipper in me is angry bc I would have loved to see them kiss LOL what are your thoughts?
I’ll be real with you, I don’t think either ship should have had a kiss yet and im astonished CT did and how it happened, i think its spoiled all the build up having it there when they’ve been arguing a lot and that it would have been so much more poignant after the LS sequence but now the moment is gone on a poorly framed kiss they’re never going to talk about again bcus it has no relevance to the plot. Thats why they have them agree not to talk about it. I think it’s a shame for people who have waited for 27yrs for that moment. And then after it no matter what they all have to play as Cloud has many non optional romantic moments with Aerith in ch 13 + 14. Reviews have mentioned how off and disjoined it is. I think that’s why they made sure to emphasise before the game came out that the dates were meant to be fun but don’t impact the story. But id be pissed if id waited that long for a kiss and that’s how i got it. and especially that in one route cloud looks like a dick but in another he doesn’t; that should really tell them something about the story. Why they gave them one idk, but I kinda wonder if it was getting them on the hook for p3 cus the last 2 chapters made CT fans real mad (even if they’re pretending otherwise on main, ppl have seen their discord and they’re not happy).
I think CA don’t kiss for a few reasons:
Cloud has remembered Zack, albeit incorrectly, much earlier. Through the game he has instances of jealousy towards him and that becomes more uncomfortable and confusing once he’s remembered they were friends. This has just happed before the dates and why when they get on skywheel he’s a bit awkward and won’t sit beside her! Of course that doesn’t last long; it was either nojima or nomura but one of them said in remake that cloud tries to keep distance between him and Aerith but he can’t do it 🥰🥰 but Zack definitely makes him more reluctant and unsure. Even when he reaches to take her hand it’s slow and cautious bcus he doesn’t know if it’s okay. And of course it is!
Aerith is fully aware Cloud is not himself. On his GS date she tells him she’s trying so hard to find him but in case you missed that as you did a different date, she also says it again in the sleeping forest; that cloud should focus on the real him she’s been looking for and leave Sephiroth to her. She knows there’s something up and kissing him knowing that is not something I think Aerith would do.
CA are the love that could never be ship. In the trailer for the 97 game, that was what they were described as. Part of the tragedy of clerith is that they have these budding feelings but before they have a chance to go anywhere Aerith is murdered. In the original cloud realises the depth of his feelings too late: at the end he says ‘I think I understand now’ and then expresses his desire to meet Aerith in the promised land. And all crossover material he’s in emphasises that he’s always looking for her. They are a star crossed lovers ship. And cloud is also dense and emotionally a mess; yes he likes her clearly, he shows jealousy for Zack, he goes on dates with her, he holds her hand and looks so happy to do so, but he can’t put all those feelings he has and come up with the right answer. In the church she confesses and he doesn’t quite get it and she, linking to her resolution imo (don’t fall in love with me) drops it and apologises and hugs him instead. This is all in line with the OG, that he’ll be hit with the full force of his feelings and what she meant in p3. Remember he’s just said he wants to go on more dates to create more ‘our spots’ with her. She looks happy and then sad when he says this because yay he likes her he wants to do this again, but of course she knows what he doesn’t: that they are about to run out of time.
So that is why I think they don’t kiss. I think it makes sense they didn’t! But I do think they’ll kiss in p3 for sure.
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hi rye how have you been spending your time LET ME TELL YOU.
kavetham? haikaveh? idk idc but them..
for starters i just want to put out there that if kavetham is my sakuatsu then cynonari is the sunaosa because i love them and if the bestie agenda isn't alive between at least one pair in the four i get so sad. anyways kavetham has taken over my ao3 and it's so bad LOL. this is mostly for me because i like having consolidated lists of fics i've read to go back to but i'll be kind and give the tumblrinas (?) a little taste too. anyways list under the cut also don't follow me for genshin i'm not a genshin girlie (famous last words)
pre warning, i think it goes without saying that there's like alcohol mentioned in like almost every single fic.. kaveh is (apparently but what would i know) not the healthiest when it comes to coping habits so .. forgive him..
check the warnings and the tags before you read!
truck, barter, and trade by Seungshi03 (T) 20.7k // when i tell you if you're going to read one fic on this list it should be this one. the humor. the plot. the kid. this needs to be framed and immortalized. they're so stupid they're so silly THEY'RE SO IN LOVE
rumors, fame, and reputation by rysarium (T) 27k // THIS. READ IT PLEASE. it's so so funny and very entertaining. you go from loving them to wanting to punch them so bad to loving them again. i will say i thought it was so unfair for kaveh to get the movie wrong because technically he heard it from source so what there was an interview 1034209384 years ago let al-haitham lie in peace (ALSO CYNO IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN YOURE SO FUNNY KING SPEAK YOUR TRUTH)
The Fall, the Rise, and Everything In-between by writingrosez (T) 22.9k // i really did dread the divorce arc in this one i knew it was coming but i really was hoping it wouldn't but it happened (when i say i verbally said NO so many times while reading this LMFAO embarrassing.. i'd do it again...) also poor lumine LMFAO
if i wake up and you're still here by alcyonenight (M) 8.4k // no because why did this fic literally have me punching my screen (completely real) while i was reading it. they both are so silly and dear to me (said in tears) but i love the hanahaki trope so bad and this was *chefs kiss*
burn up, burn out by alcyonenight (T) 8.6k AND pockets full of stones by alcyonenight (T) 11.6k // ELEAZAR AU!!! baby's first eleazar fic and it ruined her. miserably. i loved both of these so much, wonderful reads truly (they both made me so sad)
get on your nerves (to get your attention) by acynthe (M) 3.9k // what better way to get to know a character than by reading him pine over one person for way too long? right? anyways this fic really set me up into understanding that haikaveh = watching ice melt in the arctic during winter..
Work engagement by gwendee (G) 3.6k // silly little boys in their silly little parties with their silly little plans.. the line that stuck with me was bringing their love to new heights because cyno was right.. it was funny..
and yet by luminvies (G) 11.8k // this fic was so poetic and eloquent to me it was a wonderful read and kaveh is so silly girlie pop in it HAHA. but really, it was a wonderful read and i loved how fleshed out kaveh felt despite this being written before he was released LMFAO
In a Language He Understands by Maeyari (G) 13.2k // this was so funny and Kaveh becoming a homewrecker is so insane whaat (totally not fake and not clickbait) that aside, it was a very light hearted read and i enjoyed it very much
what are we by lionkeychain (T) 5.1k // if i had to re route you to Kaveh being the silliest dude alive it's this one right here. i would send you here. he is so . i am so . about him. AHHHHHHHHHH. anyways, he's just a dude with a lot of love ykwim?
inertia by smallghosts (T) 3.6k // i think it's funny how al-haitham plays fetch with Kaveh in like 85% of fics (this one included) anyways the summary was so funny i just had to read it and in context it's even funnier to me. Kaveh you're so funny ily king ('being in love with you is gross.' me: HELPDKLNLEEE?GLD>SD>? literal definition of boom roasted).
first love, worst love by caniculeo (M) 11.6k // babe wake up. the circus is back in town. babe go back to sleep. the girlies broke up.. again.. anyways. had to take a laugh break when al-haitham hit on nilou. literally put my device down and had to catch my breath. then when kaveh pointed behind al-haitham. oh god. ALSO highly recommend the second fic in the series with cynonari. cyno i love u my funny king.
Burgeon by gloomyparfait (T) 8.2k // another hanahaki fic rye? really? YES. please i love irrationality. they're so chewable in this fic i love them dearly. i need to blend them. mince them up like beef tartare.
okay this is not an extensive list (def missed some good ones i've read) and i have more i want to consume (!!!) but i haven't gotten around to some of the longer ones just cause my attention span is bad these days. i'm very excited for some of my future reads and so perhaps there will be a part two because i am down in the trenches right now. regardless, i hope you enjoyed this list and now it's time for me to disappear again. bye bye
also if you've written a fic on this list and you would prefer for it to not be on this list/on tumblr, just lmk and i'd be more than happy to remove you!
#genshin impact#kavetham#haikaveh#genshin fic recs#do i even know how to tag#i sure as hell don't know what to tag LMFAO#anyways don't expect me on here very much btw i'm just here to dump this and then i will skidaddle away#i will queue this for tomorrow sometime and then poof washy rye is inactive and no more once again#i always think about how my last post was such a lie LMFAO it makes me laugh i'm ngl#also i've been thinking about playing genshin again though as bad of an idea as that seems#like i really shouldn't because i'm busy with other things but alsooooooo#i SHOULD be doing grad school apps (the horrors) but instead here i am twiddling my thumbs with ao3 fanfics..#also you can't tell me otherwise but kavetham is so sakuatsu coded it's crazy i love them#anyways this list is a crazy way to start the school year off LMFAO my goodbye to summer ig
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tbh with you after finishing acosf and the bonus chapter for the first time, all I knew was I didn't want Elain and Azriel to end up together. I wasn't remotely passionate about Gwynriel and Elucien but I definitely knew E/riel isn't going to happen.
Mainly bc through out the whole series even if 3.5 books of it was from Feyre's pov and first person I didn't felt any spark between them. between Nesta and Cassian? NO DOUBT I new they were mates. as casual reader you can feel they're mate material. but even that rescuing scene everyone keep talking about that it's the main reason they're going to end up together fell falt for me!! bc Lucien wasn't there and I'm sure if he was... no one could've stopped him.
like acosf was the last nail in their coffin! sjm could've made me believe that they're endgame specially when it's 3rd person but she didn't even try lmao. but still I was like well... she made me like Nesta! she made me fell in love with her and understand her in a way it felt personal. she made me fall in love with Nessian and Feysand so she can definitely write E/riel that I might change my mind about them... but I was unsure and I was trying to convince myself lol (the way I kept telling myself that it's gonna be okay lmao)
but then I read the bc and it was over... I was done! the way Azriel thought about Elain made me cringe multiple times. the way Elain felt so small in that scene made me uncomfortable and the way he questioned Cauldron as he has some claim on her? oh all I could see was red!!! so that's why I was sure E/riel won't happen and even if it does I was done with this series I'm not even kidding...
so yes this was my experience with the book! and I brought this up bc I saw one of the E/riels say that if they didn't join the fandom they would've known people shipped Az and Gwyn and their irl friends also didn't know that...
honey sorry to break it to you but you need to raise you standards. bc if you didn't notice how toxic that interaction was... I feel sorry for you</3
i agree with you so much! like i admit i have days where i think "am i wrong? am i the delusional one?" because e/riels are just so loud and they get in your head sometimes you know, but then i remember all the canon text and that sjm loves her mates and... well... i feel way more confident. like it's so clear to me what sjm did in that bonus chapter but others don't see it? and az even said in hofas that he doesn't have a mate, so clearly he's given up on that nonsense lol
that rescue they like to bring up is so funny when you remember that the only reason az went was because nesta said he couldn't do it. that's literally it. he didn't care at all until she brought his skills into it. cassian volunteered first, but he didn't go only because his guts were spilling out. but you know, elain and az are true mates, even tho both times she was in danger he didn't react at all. yet they'll say he didn't care about gwyn when she was in the rite, but at least he actually did react to that
that's something i've said before, i may not care for e/riel, like at all, but if sjm did go that route i'm sure she could make me like it in some capacity. she's known for her romances! she can write it!! yet she didn't. she chose not to. instead she gave page time to gwyn and az taking glances at each other and bantering. huh weird... a new example i like to use is helion and the lady of autumn, they didn't even speak in acowar and yet they have that spark and insane chemistry, and all sarah did was tell us their backstory!!! so clearly she knows how to write a romance that'll get you hooked with nearly zero interactions and just a few lines of text. yet, again, she chose not to with e/riel
pretty sure i and others have said it before but if it were lucien calling elain "the third" we'd never ever hear the end of it, but because it's the hot broody bat it's uwu and sooo sexy and romantic!!!!! his part with elain gives me the ick, full stop. i've been sexualized and treated like an object (i had a friend who, after we stopped being friends, i found out had saved pictures of me and got off to them) and let me tell you, it doesn't feel good!! i don't get why they'd want that for elain. i don't think az is a bad person at his core, he's just... going through it right now but that's not elain's problem and she shouldn't have to be reduced to being his fantasy and nothing outside of that
here's a little message to the e/riels that think the average reader doesn't ship anything but e/riel. my irl friend is the most casual reader, she hasn't even finished acowar yet, she doesn't even go into fandoms of things she's passionate about and when i told her people shipped elain and az without any context or bias (i literally just told her they were shipped) she looked at me confused and said "why? elain and lucien are mates. elain and az are too similar, they wouldn't be good together" and by "too similar" she means they wouldn't push or challenge each other and well... she's not wrong lol. she also ships gwyn and az based solely on the "see you tomorrow, shadowsinger" quote i sent her so, clearly casual fans can see it too!
#hofas spoilers#cc3 spoilers#house of flame and shadow spoilers#antielriel#anti e/riel#asks#anonymous
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Ahh.,. Pukey Saeyoung anon again.
I wanted to take a moment to extend all my love and sympathies to those last few anons. I completely understand those insecurities. But you’re all wonderful people and the rfa would definitely love you no matter what…
Your response to that very last anon high key made me wanna cry lol.
I also have never once been asked out. And the only person who ever admitted to having feelings for me was like, 1,000 miles away and “stopped liking me after she got to know me” lmaooo
I never know if maybe some people have had interest in me before and I’m just too autistic to notice and have too many trust issues so I push them away without meaning to. Or if people are genuinely just. Completely uninterested in me. 💀
*I* think that I’m pretty fun and special and funny and sexy.
But I’m definitely kinda a strange antisocial type of guy lol.
I’ve also definitely spent a lot of time wondering if I would ever actually realistically end up with Saeyoung if I was in the scenario of his route..,
Bc I know that if I was in that apartment with him and he started acting coldly and trying to push me away. I’d get hurt a little too easily. And my borderline personality disorder would kick in and I’d probably start pushing right back. 😅
That combined with my complete and utter lack or experience or comfort with any even remotely romantic scenario…
Realistically I’d probably get a bad ending shdhdhdj.
But I’d like to hope that we’d figure things out… that we’d be able to understand each other enough to push through our respective defense mechanisms. I have so much love in my heart for Saeyoung Choi. I think I might be able to do it for him.
Idk if a day will ever come where I don’t feel mad insecure though haha.
I feel like it's easy to be insecure and afraid of a lot of things in life if you haven't hit the so-called milestones that are expected of you. If you aren't able to fit every life experience people expect out of you for whatever reason by a certain age in life, you feel like a failure and that you're not good enough. It's like if you're not able to get a date, a kiss, a job, go to college, finish a legacy by the age of 25, or what have you.
There is a rush to do everything or else you'll miss out. It's wrong to teach because that's not how life is. You don't need to have every bit of life planned out. Everybody gets to experience something for the first time at a different time. Just because you experience something at a different age than a peer doesn't mean you're failing.
It just means that your experience is different. Say your friend got their first kiss at 16 but you get yours at 22. Is that failure? No. You just had a different experience than theirs. You have a full life ahead of you filled with all kinds of experiences. Some things might happen sooner and some things might come later. That's the way it goes and it's okay if it's later in life. You aren't missing out and you haven't had a moment of failure.
Even if you can rationalize that it's okay to experience things at a different time in life? I know that doesn't take away from insecurities or fears or anything that you're going through. You don't have to be happy about it every day. You don't have to put on a fake smile when you know that it's exhausting. You are allowed to be disheartened in life. But, don't give up on yourself or assume that you're failing. Don't think you've done anything wrong. Don't count yourself out when you haven't found the right place right.
I can say this much to you. With communication, love, compassion, and faith in your relationship, you can put in the work to make things work.
No relationship comes easy. Everything is built off of communication and boundaries. You Don't Have To Love Yourself To Be Loved. It might take a little bit of work to make things smooth over with your dear Saeyoung, but it’s not impossible. Do you love him? Do you have faith in that? If the answer is yes then you can make this work. Give him time. Give yourself time.
A realistic situation in Mystic Messenger would be messier and harder to navigate than what our default MC can do. MC doesn't react like many of us do because it is made to be romanticized and work out every time. So, yeah, it would be different if you were in the apartment. But don't assume that means that you couldn't make it work. You can.
It might look a little different than the idealized form that you see in the game but that doesn't mean that it's any less of what you dream of. You can be happy with him. He can be happy with you. As long as you have faith in that, you can overcome a lot. You can make it work as long as you are trying your best.
If nothing else, be aware that he is just as insecure and afraid. He's not going into this knowing that things are going to be okay or even being confident in himself. So I think if you take a little bit of a step back you could see that you're not the only one who's afraid of this going wrong. Love is messy and tough but it is also beautiful and wonderful.
If you believe in it and he believes in it, this can work out just like you want.
I hope that one day you can look in the mirror and feel good about yourself. Even if it's only for a second. Even if it's only for a minute. Everybody deserves a chance to see themselves and actually like the person that's looking back at them.
The tldr; is simply that if you love them they will love you.
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hi!! gmmtv anon again ✨. i’m sorry for disappearing but real life was kicking my ass
the amount of fanmeets a lot of them do in general is insane. i do understand that this is how the company and the actors make a lot of their money, but come on they are overdoing it at this point. they are actors after all and not idols even tho p’tha called them “idols” 🗡️🗡️🗡️
i remember gem saying that he will have two shows next year, but idk if they will pair him up with a girl for the second one or if it will be another show with fourth. tbh before part 1 aired i was so sure they were gonna give winnysatang their own show with gemfourth as a side couple plus their own show as mains lol
i might check out some of joong’s scenes, but since it’s focused on the girls those scenes will very likely always involve film in one way or another. ugh it’s so annoying 😩
oh speaking of joong, a fan asked him at a fansign if he will have a show with dunk next year and he was like “no <3. Or maybe?” (https://x.com/allaboutnia_jd/status/1716433598008684595?s=46). i know they can’t spoil anything but this made me want to fight him hahahahah
so true! i’m glad we got a lot of new faces and that they’re actually giving them lead roles!!! you go gmmtv!!!
yeah mark was doing the most this year, and i love that for us and because i do5 think i would ever get tired of seeing his face. i’m still a bit sad about him having to drop out of cooking crush because getting more of neomark would’ve been epic. but it was also understandable because he had OF promo and shooting for last twilight going on at the same time. anyways, i do hope he will get offered more serious and maybe even lead roles now that he’s established himself an actor who can do more than just play the comic relief.
i’m praying for part 2 having even better shows than part 1 and pls it would be so funny if they gave taynew and offgun another show 😭😭😭
Hii!! :) Don't worry about it anon, no pressure at all to reply, life happens sometimes <3
nah the idol thing is so funny actually 😭😭 like some of these people are amazing actors, but extremely mediocre singers/dancers/etc at best hajskdj. i swear as soon as someone is even slightly marketable, off they go. i remember there were a couple markford intl fanmeets, even though i dont think they're gonna pair up again for a show
I definitely was expecting a het show for one or both of gem4th, but since the lineup's in 2 parts, it would make sense to save that for the 2nd installment (can already see the delulu fans not being too keen on it... gemini hung out with bimbeam recently and some people on twitter were.. yeah 😬) hopefully we get my love mix up soon after to kinda calm that 😂 (and then i'm completely wrong and we get another gem4th show 👀 i wouldn't be opposed either)
and another gem4th wnst show sounds so cute actually !!! i was honestly expecting a wnst leads show (not an ensemble), is it bad to still have hope for pt 2 🥺 at the very least, they seem to be going the full established cp route with wnst, they're gonna be in LOL next year + the logo. soooo if not pt 2, at the very least we'll surely get a wnst show in gmm2025 🤞
real, and given how many characters there are in ploy's yearbook, i can't imagine they're all gonna get a lot of screentime anyway. Also i didn't realise joong was paired up with film?? not the biggest fan of film (i'm sure she's lovely, i just don't vibe), sooo not looking too good for me 😅
JOONG WHYY 😭😭 he looks so smug, i dont know what to make of that <//3 ppw essentially spilled everything about their series before pt 1, surely he can give us some crumbs, not cryptic nonsense like that LMAO althoughh we've technically gotten a jd show 2 years in a row so maybe they're giving it a rest??
(also i was so confused by the person repeating himself in the background in english, took me way too long to realise it was dunk 😭😂)
(also anon, my bestie, this is kinda embarassing so keep it a secret for me <3 but i've been watching way too many of those jd tiktok compilations on yt lately 😭😭 i am the fan and i am being serviced 😌😅 hopefully we get another show soon tho)
i'm so glad mark's managing to make that jump!! he's such a good actor, both in comedy and more serious stuff :) i do hope we get more neomark at some point, i wouldnt want them to become a fixed pairing but i do wanna see them act together again
yesss i always see people not too happy about the lineups, maybe my expectations are too low but i'm pretty optimistic for pt 2 !! i rlly loved a lot of the shows in part 1, so hopefully they can match or top that :]
also anon did u see the last twilight trailer getting delayed 😭😭 gmm why (seem to be asking that a lot lately ajskdj) i rlly like jimmysea but i know they aren't as popular as other cps, and this isn't helping :((
#these asks are gonna need a keep reading label break thingy at some point considering how long they're getting 😂😂#gmmtv anon#asks
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i didn't know if i was gonna bother watching shadow & bone s2 since general reviews were basically: "it's CRAP" but watched it on a whim this week and am mostly happy with it actually
preface that i only read the og grisha trilogy and haven't read the crow books or whatever the heck came next that i think starred nikolai? so i only vaguely remember the story of alina and co and know little to nothing about the jurda parem storyline and where it's going and who will be involved or at least was involved in the books
but man. just from the perspective of someone who was immensely displeased with the ending of the grisha trilogy: I LOVE THIS ENDING. they fixed my biggest beefs with the og ending, and up until the very last scene i was like "ah still a shame alina never went darkside though" aND THEN THEY WENT AND SAID "BITCH SHE MIGHT" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE IT
in the books i haaaaated the implication that mal and alina were only together bc of ~destiny~ and they were only drawn to each other by the firebird power and even after knowing that, they didn't question it at all and were just like, "welp the universe tossed us together so guess this is it for us huh." so not only do i love show!mal more in general--they fixed up his personality so much and made me actually mostly like malina--but i wanted to kiss him on the mouth for being the one to bring up the whole destiny thing and give themselves a chance to figure out who they are without it. and i wanted to kiss alina on the mouth for accepting and understanding it. i would absolutely not hate malina being endgame in this universe the way i hated it in the books.
though i'm confused if alina is still engaged to nikolai now? she gave the ring back to him a while ago so i figured that was the end of it, but at the end the apparat made it sound like the betrothal was still on, and alina was wearing that very elaborate tiara/crown and stood beside nikolai at his coronation so. nikolina still possible?
though i will say that i really didn't feel any chemistry between them in the show and they were portrayed much more as friends than potential love interests. honestly i loved it. love triangles are exhausting enough, having to deal with 3 potential love interests in the trilogy was just. blaaaargh. as much as i loved nikolina in the books, i was kind of happy that i felt nothing for them in the show and it seemed like i wasn't supposed to. they really just came across as allies doing their best for the country, friends at most. there were a few moments that kiiiiind of came across as potential romance, but there was nothing to make me be like "fuck yeah nikolina." since they made mal 2.0 so much better, i genuinely enjoyed not seeing nikolai as legitimate love interest material lmao. but i could be into it in the future if there's a s3 and they decide to go that route.
i was worried the condensed storyline would be crap since i knew they were apparently putting all of books 2 & 3 into this season, alongside whatever the crows would be doing, but it worked so much better than what i vaguely remember of the books. book 3 was pretty much all meaningless page filler of the group being trapped underground and then going on a completely pointless hike to look for the firebird, so i'm glad they cut all that out. i liked the addition of the blade, if only to expand the world more and show us another living saint--go be besties with her alina. and really the best parts of both s1 and s2 were the crows. sorry i haven't read your books guys but y'all are the best. i fuckign love inej and nina and of course my gay little heart was so very happy with jesper and wylan and wesper.
(i do mostly like kaz, he's clever and witty and really cares about his crows, but sometimes he's just a bit too edgelord for me. i kinda like kanej but at the same time i think inej deserves a hell of a lot of happiness and kanej is just all angst all the time and after 2 full seasons of it i'm kinda over it lol. i was honestly super into that extremely brief hint of . . . inya? tolej? lmao. but yeah tolya/inej honestly sounds amazing to me. ofc i hope kaz can deal with his trauma and be more open--not even in regards to touch necessarily, but just be less consumed with grief and revenge in general. but his whole life is shaped around it and inej has dealt with enough shit and i just want her to be able to laugh and have some genuine fun, ya know??)
it wasn't perfect, and a lot of the dialogue made me cringe (i'm still facepalming but also laughing over that one scene where some grisha girl started saying, "i'd hoped--" and seemed like she was just gonna say some bland thing like i'd hoped this would be over or even just i'd hoped i'd get to sleep in an actual bed tonight but the darkling interrupted her with this completely angsty and overdramatic monologue about hope LMAO CALM DOWN EDGELORD IT WASN'T THAT DEEP). but overall i thought it was good! s1 was better but s2 made a lot of improvements to the books and i appreciate that they were willing to deviate and take risks to try to make a better story.
what i loved the absolute most wasn't just that they changed her love story, i loved that they changed the entire ending of alina's story. because the trilogy ending for her was TRASH. a woman becomes the most powerful person in the world, comes to embrace and revel in her power, but her endgame love interest won't stop sulking about it so guess she's gotta lose all her power and suddenly want nothing more than a quiet life on a farm. LMAO WHAT. it was absolutely infuriating and still is almost 20 years later lmao. having her stay in the capital and plan to actually help the country she worked so hard and sacrificed so much to save makes infinitely more sense; sure, at the beginning of the trilogy she wished she wasn't grisha or the sun summoner, but she comes to love the power and the realization that she can save ravka with it. as far as i remember, once she embraces it, she never wishes it away again. so it just felt grossly unfeminist and lame to take her power away in the trilogy and pretend that actually she secretly desired being no one in the middle of nowhere just raising a bunch of orphans. nope, that was just not alina.
so i am LIVING for her still having her power (though i'm not sure if she's got all that fully amplified power or she's basically reset to pre-amplifiers power after destroying the fold? i wish they'd cleared that up) and continuing to follow her dream to reunite ravka and make a more peaceful world for the grisha, rather than just run away with her endgame boy ugh.
BUT WHAT I'M LIVING FOR THE MOST WAS WATCHING HER FINALLY DO THE CUT AND REVEAL THAT SHE'S GOT SHADOW MAGIC NOW AND RATHER THAN BEING SCARED OR DISGUSTED BY WHAT SHE'D DONE SHE WAS FUCKING RELISHING IT
DARKLINA LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO
(i just mean that in a dark alina sense, though i would not at all be opposed to the darkling coming back to life and making couple darklina a thing lmao)
do i believe they'll actually make her go anywhere near actually dark? no. do i believe her endgame boy will be anyone but mal? no. do i believe they won't ultimately have her story end the same as in the trilogy? not really tbh. but at least there's some possibility here and it could turn out really interesting, or at least more satisfying than the og trilogy.
so yeah i hope s3 gets the green light. at the very least, i'd definitely love to have more of the crows.
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WHAT. We played in the exact same order!? That's so funny LMAO What are the chances!!! 😂 to think we both didn't follow the recommended route order at all and used a completely different route order.
I agree!! Shu quitting smoking for Teuta was so cute. I think one of my (very minor) gripes is how Shu didn't experience withdrawals at all, or ever felt the urge to light a cigarette after all that? I don't really count the one time he smoked with Yang because he was offered a cigarette, and he did put it out early. And yeah you're right that was really cute 🥺 out of all the LIs, it's Shu that I was least expecting to talk to her parents, but he really went and did it. Good job Shu.
HAHA I also get you on bringing up your faves whenever you get the chance, I also do it a lot albeit unconsciously haha oh Sasuke is in your top three, who are the other two if you don't mind me asking?
I like your thoughts on the last two chapters! You're one of the few people I talked to who kinda liked them LMAO in my case I was definitely one of the people who were disappointed. So much plot bombs were dropped that didin't have any hinting or foreshadowing whatsoever throughout the same, so it's just one unsatisfying surprise after another to me. It also gave me more questions than answers, which hopefully would get answered in the second season but also I highly doubt it. I really love the Carmen CG though. Also man I felt the opposite with Auld Lang Syne, it didn't feel calm to me at all LOL the effects were giving me a migraine, and the reveals (especially about Zora and Sauli) made me feel so sick. Then the game ended there and I just sat there confused. 😂
I know, I was laughing for days afterwards over the fact someone else bucked the recommended order and played the exact order I did.
True about the withdrawals thing; never really through of that. I'd say my gripe in general was the routes felt on the shorter side, so the writers had a LOT of ground to cover in not a whole lot of time. So I guess things like Shu struggling with quitting or more obvious romantic scenes in Mozu's route were glossed over due to those length restraints. Though, thinking about it, Shu's withdrawals had to be hellish because he said smoking was the way to bring him back to that day, but the nicotine had to be numbing in some fashion, too. So you have the two opposite components tied to past trauma that his clinging to using a now deeply ingrained habit, and you're telling me he was able to just change to lollipops on a dime? Yeah, I'm not buying it, but I'll overlook it because it's Shu. XD
And agreed. You would have expected Limbo, with his connection to his sister throughout the game, to be the one to do it. But nah, Shu was the surprise. :D I really liked it, though, because even though is family is a little odd and broken, it was very tight and meant the world to him. It was very precious. <3
I know I'm a bit of the odd ball when it came to those last 2 chapters. XD But whatever, LOL. I was definitely left reeling after the last chapter, so I understand that feeling. I binged that game in a matter of a week or two, so I hit the end and was just sitting in the adrenaline rush of "no, that can't be all!" XD
I haven't replayed that end, so I'll have to go back and replay it for a better answer. But for Auld Syne Lang, I guess I should have clarified that it didn't exactly calm me as much as it was relatively "calmer" compared to Full Circle. XD Because that end WAS one gut punch after another. (Also, yeah, those affects were brutal, I think at that point, I stopped paying attention to them and just focused on the text specifically.) As I was replaying the main route, though, rereading that Luka committed fraud for a sex crime victim's case was a punch to the gut! Like suddenly her motivations of being a cop and helping out that victim in particular was crystal clear. And painful. Like, there were hints that you just kinda gloss over at the time, but rereading them makes you applaud that bit of foreshadowing.
Left this for last, but as for my three favorite boys, I'm obsessed with Code:Realize. Victor Frankenstein and Abraham Van Helsing have been batting for top spot for a while. XD I adore both of them to pieces. Victor was top for a while, but I think Van has just edge him out by now. And that leaves Sasuke as solid third. XD No other Love Interest has left quite as strong and heavy of an impression on me as much as these three boys. (It's the glasses. Has to be. XD) Even though I definitely have others I love, these are hard and fast top 3 that aren't going anywhere anytime soon.
My love of Van Helsing is probably the reason I was drawn to Shu so much. They have quite a bit in common.
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BUSTAFELLOWS Part 6 - Full Circle and Auld Lang Syne
Aww, the card game with Professor was cool, mainly because we get to see more of Pepe and Carmen lol, I love them. Nice to know Pepe was a boxer and decided to follow Carmen after she saved him and understood his values. Loll at Teuta being crappy at taking photos. I completely forgot Carmen had a partner so it was kinda random when they started talking about it, and then now he's dying? Ooh, he's the older brother who tried to kill his younger brother in that organisation? Ooh so Alex is the younger brother who changed his face and everything?? And he got tricked by Vonda and ended up basically killing his brother? How did Alex "transfer" and change his body into a child?? Knee jobs? LOL🥲 Anyway, Vonda is very underwhelming as a villain and we still have no idea how it went between Alex and Theo so I can't condemn him, but considering that Theo was his brother, I understand how much Carmen must hate him for killing someone that seemed to really cherish him, because in the end, even when Theo passed away, he was still calling for Alex.
Alex talking about how recording videos of how police treated them (illegal immigrants etc) when they got captured as the only way that they could help each other because they were helpless against authority and power makes it quite saddening. Especially since even in the current day, one of the most effective ways to help someone really is recording what's happening to clearly show what happened, and to show it to the world so that the police or whatever can't hide it. Honestly, I'm not sure what to think about Carmen adopting Alex after all this. Like it sounds nice and everything, and she cares, but I don't really think she needs to rush into doing this nor does she even need to do it, mainly because she obviously still needs time to process it all and see how she wants to treat Alex after all this. She's not a "bad person" if she doesn't treat him the same, so it's kinda awkward to think that the story wants to make it seem like they can go back to how everything was eventually, but honestly even if I could eventually forgive someone for killing someone important to me, I don't think I could ever treat them the same imo.
I'm not surprised Zora is still alive, but I am kinda surprised Adam has a bigger role in the story. Ummm, the whole thing with Adam and Zora was...very random?? Lol, I have no idea how I should feel about it because it was just so out of nowhere with them having to destroy Teuta's memories of her brother with this random silly story that added nothing?? Like why? Honestly, I'd rather the whole Zora thing have been left mysterious or just as something that would never be resolved because it was honestly dumb imo. In regards to Professor Sauli, that was out of nowhere too and there's hints of him being a time traveller or something? But honestly, at this stage, what's the point? What does it add to the story other than giving everything a bad aftertaste to the mouth? Now not only is Zora an official terrible guy, but his existence and mystery was basically all for naught because it was such a dumb revelation. I mean, I wasn't fond of Full Circle either because considering how big of a thing the whole organisation was and how it was supposed to be integral to everything, the last two stories basically just dumped some "answers" to the readers and called it a day without really caring about how it was done or how to reveal it in an interesting way? It's like they just made us accept that yeah, Carmen made Full Circle, yeah Alex killed his brother, but so???? Why??? How??? Honestly, does it even matter at this stage, because none of the routes cared about it, and I really don't think these last two stories really added anything to the story. I did like Adam though, I think he's a very kind and protective guy, and I feel bad for him, but yeah, the game doesn't really give us enough time to really feel anything for Alex, Adam, Carmen etc. Needless to say, I'm feeling very unfulfilled. Honestly, I think the game would have benefited with a "true route" to answer all the mysteries they put out because these last two stories were very short and disappointing.
Overall, in terms of giving the ‘mystery’ a good conclusion, BUSTAFELLOWS definitely didn’t do that well because the two short stories at the end that’s supposed to answer everything was such a disappointing info dump that I kinda wish I never read because I think I was more satisfied with the story by forgetting that there was some sort of mystery in the first place. As for the routes, I honestly only enjoyed Shu’s route. When it comes to personalities, I quite like Shu and Limbo but everyone else was rather meh to me, and their routes really didn’t make me like them that much more. Personally, considering the hype around this game, it definitely didn’t live up to my expectations because I personally thought Limbo’s character in his route was just plain and didn’t delve much into him as a person and instead focused on the villain guy which I enjoyed more and I guess similarly with the other girls, I just felt like none of them really interested me whether it came to their backstories or how they were depicted. However, those little scenarios in the Side Bs were quite cute, so I think that I wouldn’t mind reading more about Teuta and their slice of life days because I honestly think the best part of this game was probably the common route. 6/10 game imo lol, I’m actually sad I didn’t like it because Teuta is quite fun and cute.
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Injury
Characters: Albedo, Childe, Diluc, gn!reader
Word Count: 3,657
Warnings: Blood, injury, slight violence, minor villain death
Premise: Sometimes the pain of others can hurt even more than one’s own. In which the reader is injured.
Author’s Note: Week 3 of keeping up my writing schedule let’s go! This week is a bit angsty, my forte (I think?) As usual part one – with Albedo, Childe, and Diluc – will be posted tonight and part two – Kaeya, Xiao and Zhongli – tomorrow.
At first this was going to be both your injury and your recovery but then the first character hit over 1.5k words so I guess this is going to be a pseudo-series. I really don’t know the definition of concise lol.
In the first part of my last fic I realize I gendered a word. I’m super sorry about that, and I promise to fix it and tag properly next time. Childe gets to go into the stone forest cause I say he can. I’m not sure if waypoints are diegetic or nondiegetic. I decided to make them so. Also the first hospital in China was opened in the early 1800s, and I know hospitals aren’t very “fantasy” but Teyvat has good medical science in my book.
Albedo
Throughout his life the one thing that Albedo never truly understood was peoples’ obsession with modesty, even when it was false.
There was a lot that Albedo was proud of in regards to himself; his intellect for one, his curiosity, his abilities as an alchemist, the fact that he feared little in the world. Above all perhaps was the pride he held in carrying himself without falling into hysteria, his grip on his emotions was impeccable and whenever he was unfortunate enough to see others gripped with a heavy emotion he was always left with a sour feeling in his mouth – a disgust for someone who had so little sense they couldn’t even control themselves.
This was a pride that left him quickly enough upon seeing you injured.
It wasn’t meant to be a dangerous expedition. It’d merely been a check of the vast network of caves and tunnels that could be found in Dragonspine. A route affair, mundane even in how simple it supposedly was. There was nothing to be afraid of. Albedo had told you that back at home and you’d smiled in agreement. Yes, there was nothing to be worried of, a few hilichurls at most and a temperature that could be easily kept in check with the right preparation. You’d be there and back in less than a day, no problem.
Everything, however, had gone horribly wrong. The cave that you two intended to explore turned out to be a vast network, full of tight tunnels and half submerged under freezing water. You two had managed that well enough, although once Albedo had almost slipped and fallen into the underground river, the whole outlook of the expedition was looking drearier and drearier.
Eventually you’d reached what had seemed to be the heart of the cave, floor after floor of ice with a hole in the middle, all lit up by crystal and scarlet quartz. It was an impressive sight to be sure and you’d stood a little ways away from the edge, observing the way the light refracted off the ice coated walls, waiting for Albedo to be finished with his sampling, enjoying the awesome sight in front of you.
Albedo had just finished when you’d let out a yelp. Whirling around he saw what had captured your attention – a wild snowboar who’d managed to wander in. The two of you watched the very confused creature in awe, only staring as it stomped the ground and charged right into the wall.
That was a mistake.
All of the sudden the cavern started shaking violently. Cursing the boar for its terrible – or maybe impeccable – aim the two of you sprinted towards the exit. You’d managed to gain the lead, not bogged down by Albedo’s extensive equipment, and had turned around near the beginning of the tunnel in order to help him. Just as you were heading back one of the many icicles that lined the roof of the cave came undone, landing with a sickening thud right where your collarbone met your spine.
You’d dropped like a rock, and Albedo felt his stomach to turn water and his mind turn to static, as suddenly all logic seemed to leave him, instead replaced by dread so overpowering he seemed to lose track of his surroundings, chained to the ground by something greater than himself.
You groaned and time seemed to unfreeze itself, instead accelerating at a breakneck pace. Leaping into action Albedo immediately dropped all of his equipment, the sound of glass vials shattering muffled by the cases that held them and the panic that was gripping him. Hauling you over his back he ran through the tunnels, wincing every time you made a sound and biting his tongue every time he shimmied through a particularly tight spot and it seemed it might not let the two of you pass as you were.
He could feel the blood seeping through his gloves. Your blood. Only a few minutes ago he wasn’t even sure that icicles could make one bleed. Now he wished he’d never found out, wished that he’d never asked to explore the caves of Dragonspine, wished that you’d never agreed to it. How could he have been so foolish, so blind to the dangers that waited in vast caverns of ice and snow, where the slightest wrong movement could spell your death.
Albedo could’ve cried when he sighted the camp. Indeed he might’ve, realizing that there were frozen tears on his cheeks only after you’d been taking to the medical tent. He hadn’t noticed, hadn’t noticed anything really in those terrifying moments between when you’d gotten hurt and when he’d made it to the camp. It all seemed not to exist in his mind, washed away by the emotions that had wracked his mind and body. Even now he couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t stop the tide of emotions that was crashing into him like a wave, utterly helpless as he was thrown this way and that.
The pride that he’d clung to was in tatters, and Albedo looked upon it now in disgust. He’d been so innocent, so foolish, perhaps mercifully so. But all that was gone, and his certainty had gone with it. There was nothing left of him almost; nothing except fear and anger and worry, and Albedo wondered when he might ever feel sure of everything again.
It was cloudy when you were released, arm in a sling, brace around your shoulders. Albedo wasn’t sure how much time had passed, it had seemed like an eternity. The urge to run up to you and wrap you in the tightest hug imaginable was intense, but the sight of the brace held him back. Instead he brought you hand up to his face, kissing your palm before holding it against his cheek. You smiled at that, but there was fatigue in your eyes and you said nothing. Albedo couldn’t blame you. He moved to let go and turn towards the path, somehow feeling unworthy of holding your hand after being the cause of your predicament, but you quickly grasped his hand once more. He smiled a slightly shocked smile, but made no move to let go.
As you two walked back to Mondstadt Albedo felt himself once more flooded by negative thoughts. Lowering his gaze so he was looking at the ground he paused for a moment.
“I’m sorry.”
Albedo found his voice cracking, tears welling his eyes even as he chastised himself for how stupid he must’ve looked. You were safe, you were going to be alright, the head of the clinic had said so himself. Why then did he still feel like he might crumble any minute? Shaking his head he moved to cover his face with his hand.
“Hey.” There was still fatigue in your voice, but there was also an urgency in it. You squeezed the hand you were holding, moving so you were facing him. “Hey, is it okay if you look at me?”
Albedo moved his head up slowly. He was truly crying by now, having given up all efforts to do so otherwise. You smiled softly as his eyes met yours.
“I’m alright, okay? And you shouldn’t blame yourself for this. I doubt that even the drunkest man in Monstadt could’ve guessed a wild boar would wander in a cavern and start a cave in. You can’t control fate you know.”
“I know.” Albedo forced the words out, although more and more it seemed impossible, his throat was too constricted to be anything more than barely coherent. “Still. I should’ve known. And I should’ve kept it together. I, why am I crying? Why wasn’t I in control? Why, why am I still not in control?”
“Because you’re human Albedo.” You replied, shaking your head slightly. “You’re the most wonderful human alive, but you’re still human. You mustn’t beat yourself up for what you are. I’d rather you cry anyways. There’s nothing noble in hiding your emotions, they must come out one way or another. So please, please cry all you want, long and hard. And tomorrow you can start your penance, alright?”
“Penance?” Albedo mumbled, still crying. You nodded, smile still nothing but fondness and understanding.
“Well someone’s going to have to help me for the next two months. And I know you’re too much a gentleman to make me stumble along myself.”
“Of course.” Albedo’s answer came fast and sure. He paused then, realizing that, by distracting him with the weeks to come, you’d managed to give him a pocket of time to calm himself, to feel himself once more firmly planted on the ground. Love mixed with anger and sadness in his mind, and for a moment he could only marvel at you.
Albedo leaned down to kiss you on the forehead. He’d do whatever he could to help you, this he promised himself. And this too he promised himself; you’d never ever be hurt on his watch again.
Childe
If there was anything that Childe hated it was a lack of control. The feeling of everything slipping through his fingers was something he’d felt often as a child, and that feeling had haunted him. When he’d signed up as a member of the Fatui he’d promised himself that he’d never feel that way again. He’d protect those he loved and he’d keep his life from falling apart. It was a promise he was determined to keep, no matter what.
You two had decided to go hiking. Or rather it was less of a hike and more of a rock climb. Childe had long bragged that the Huaguang Stone Forest was the most beautiful place to watch the sunset, and you’d finally gotten a free weekend. Waypointing your way there initially, your partner had taken an almost childlike joy from choosing which mountain was the highest.
“Childe have you decided yet? The sun is almost at the horizon.” You called out at the Harbinger. Childe was, much to your dismay, the stronger climber, and had taken to scouting ahead of time to see if the spot you were climbing to was any good. Now he glanced down at you, mischief written all over his face, his smirk flashier than usual. He put his hand on his chin and looked outward once more.
“Hmm… I don’t know…”
“Childe!” You exclaimed, your arms slightly killing you. You really wish that you’d convinced Childe to bring a roped and belay. Unfortunately that request had been met with a whine and an accusation of “that’s cheating!” You’d laughed it off at the time, but now you were starting to regret your partner’s recklessness. As much as you were enjoying your time – being alone with Childe always felt intensely special and you cherished every moment of it – you were also impatient to actually watch the sunset, and in your hurry you wondered if it might not be faster to climb back down and watch from the bridge.
“I do believe that we’ve found the tallest one!”
“Thank the Seven.” You groaned, hurrying to get to the top. Childe chuckled, watching you scale up the mountain.
“Oh come now, I had to make sure it was perfect! Besides you looked so comfortable perched there, it almost hurt to disrupt you.”
“When I get up there I’m killing you.” You shot back, reaching towards the ledge. Still laughing Childe stuck out his hand and you moved to grab it, pushing off with your feet as much as possible, determined to make it up the mountain in the next move.
The laughter died from Childe’s lips the moment your hand missed. Instead it was replaced by fear, cold and sharp as a knife, plunging straight through his heart. Time seemed to slow down, but you were falling so fast, falling, falling, falling. Catapulting himself off the top of the mountain Childe reached out for you. In his mind he was screaming. Glide. Oh please, for the love of the Seven glide. Please, don’t fall, it’s so high up. I couldn’t bear it. Please.
Still the words were stuck in his mouth, and his throat only constricted more when you hit the bridge with a sickening thud. Releasing his own wings at the last moment he landed on the bridge too, only a few meters away from where you were now crumpled up. Running over he scooped you up. You’d managed to right yourself at the last moment in the air so that you were landing feet first, but though you’d managed to protect your head your legs dragged limply, and one was bent at an awkward angle. Looking at your mangled form, listening to you as you screamed and whimpered in pain, Child felt overwhelmed by his vast helplessness. There was nothing he could do. Burying his head in your neck he sobbed.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
The journey to Liyue was excruciating, both for you and for Childe. Although there was no external bleeding the initial adrenaline of falling had no worn off and you felt every jolt and movement as Childe slung you on his back, wrapping his arms around your thighs and carrying you to the nearest waypoint and then to the Liyue doctor. Even when Childe was standing still you thought you might die from the sheer pain. So intense it was that sometimes you gave up, blacking out only to wake up feeling like you were drowning, the burning air around you almost too hot and too heavy to breathe.
Childe willed himself to numbness throughout the journey, only allowing him to collapse once you’d reached the hospital, practically ramming into the nearest chair in the waiting room, the situation washing over him.
How could he have let this happen? Hadn’t he made a promise? A promise that he’d protect those he’d love, that he’d never lose control of a situation again, that he’d never let those he cared about suffer? Where was that promise now? His whole world seemed to collapse in on itself now. He hadn’t been able to protect you. Despite his training, his reflexes, his vision, his everything. You’d still fallen. And as powerful as Childe liked to think he was, he still couldn’t turn back time and stop your suffering.
Finally the doctor opened the door and Childe was let in to see you. After informing him that you were on painkillers the doctor left you two alone. Faced with you laying on the hospital bed Childe sank into the nearest chair. Lacing his fingers through yours he drew circles on your hand over and over. For a moment you two said nothing, then Childe let his head rest on your hands. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, voice raw.
“I know.” You replied, mind a bit hazy from the painkillers, the magic infused herbs luring you to sleep. Still you pushed forward, needing to say something before Childe let himself be carried away. “I know, but it’s not your fault. And it’s not irreversible. The doctor says in 8 weeks I’ll be fine. Until then, we’ll just have to improvise.”
“But what about your adventuring? Your commissions? How can you do those if you can’t –”
“I’ll figure it out. Adventuring isn’t just monster slaying you know. And there’s no catastrophe in being in a wheelchair or on crutches.” You shook your head. Childe was still crying, and you could feel his tears running down your linked hands.
“Ajax.” Childe’s head shot up, surprised. He loved when you called him by his true name, it always seemed like a song falling from your lips. And now that song was filled with understanding, if not a bit of sadness. “I want you to not blame yourself.” You continued. “I know it’ll be hard, I know that these feelings won’t go away. And I’m not blaming you for them. I’m not happy about this either, of course I’m not, I just went through a world of pain. But I won’t be able to stand watching you beat yourself up for 8 weeks, I won’t be able to stand that look in your eyes every time you look at me. So please, please stop. If not for yourself then for me.”
Childe stared at your for a while. You waited, not wanting to rush his thought process. Eventually though he shook his head, a small smile finally breaking his expression.
“You’re too good for me you know. Alright. I promise to try. It’s the least I could do.”
“Thank you.” You smiled. Childe smiled back. He didn’t know how you managed to do it, how you managed to take his fears and look them in the face. All he knew at that moment was that he loved you. And for now, that was enough.
Diluc
Diluc stared in horror as the Fatui Bracer aimed a Geo projectile right at you, his horror multiplying into rage and terror as the concentrated energy flew through the air and landed right at the base of your ribcage. You crumpled at the impact, wheezing heavily, apparently stunned from the power and speed of the attack.
How could this have happened? Diluc knew that the Fatui were gathering in Mondstadt, something that the winery owner turned Darknight Hero couldn’t stand. But never did he think to see Fatui skirmishers right outside the walls of Monstadt, strolling along the beach of Cider Lake as if it were Snezhnaya. Never did he think he’d have to see another loved one felled by a member of the Fatui, and never did he think that he could bear the emotions coursing through him now.
He made quick work of the Bracer, hacking and swinging without rhyme or reason, barely able to comprehend what was going on. Everything felt oddly separated from him, as if he were watching through someone else’s eyes, watching as he burned through the Bracer’s shields as easily as if it were made of wax, leaving the man groaning and screaming in pain before silencing him altogether.
The feeling of separation only grew more powerful as he ran over to you. You seemed to be conscious, but your breathing was shallow and ragged, and the place where the Fatui’s attack had hit seemed mangled, one of your ribs having seemingly been broken. You were screaming, though it was hoarse and low and tired. Still if you were screaming you were alive, and at least Diluc could hold onto that.
Carrying you in his arms Diluc winced as you let out another shriek of pain. You two weren’t far from the gates of Monstadt, but every step seemed to be a thousand steps and what was surely only a few hundred meters instead felt like tens of thousands of miles.
You were going to be alright. At least the doctor had said you were going to be alright. Surely Diluc could be grateful for that? But he didn’t feel grateful, instead he felt anger and hatred welling up inside of him. He’d told himself it was no good to be an angry or hateful person, that doing so would only push you away, would only destroy the fragile bonds he’d managed to build between you and a selection of others. But still the anger and the hatred lingered, refusing to be quelled or stuffed away.
He wanted revenge. Revenge on the Fatui, on the Tsaritsa, on the uncaring world that let him be so tormented, and that so tormented the ones he loved. How could this have happened to you? You who were made of goodness, more goodness than he’d found in the world beforehand. How was this a fitting reward?
It was decided that you could stay at the Winery during the 6 grueling weeks that was to be your convalescence. Diluc said nothing on the way there. He was afraid what would happened if he opened his mouth. Already he knew his face was betraying the feelings welling within him. He didn’t need to make it worse, not now.
Arriving at the Winery Diluc carried you to his room, the nicest room there was. Up to this point you’d said nothing, and Diluc wondered if you weren’t too groggy to do so. However when you spoke up there was an urgency in your voice, one he simply couldn’t ignore.
“You’re angry. You’re trying to hide it but I know it.”
“I’m not the one in pain right now.” Came a curt reply. Diluc was looking at you with what others might’ve mistaken as a glare. Perhaps it was even that, but there was something beneath it, and you knew it ultimately wasn’t directed at you.
“I am. And I’m upset too. But I’ve accepted it. You need to accept that you’re angry too. Burying it won’t help, it’ll only make it worse you know. You have to acknowledge your emotions. You don’t have to hide them. At least not in front of me.”
The expression on Diluc’s face finally broke. The anger there was raw and palapable, but there was also something else, something he’d also buried.
“I was… terrified.” Diluc finally let out. “I was so terrified it frightened me. I… I thought I was going to lose you.”
“And you shouldn’t have to hide that either.” You prodded softly. “But I’ll be alright, I promise. So please, just be open with me and then we’ll go from there.”
Diluc nodded, finding himself unable to speak. Walking over to where you were laying down he peppered kisses all over your face, light and ethereal as butterflies.
He’d do right by you. That’s what he promised himself, after all the hiding and the pain. He’d do right by you. But he’d also not forgive the Fatui for what they’d done, and tonight when Monstadt was asleep the Darknight would be watching. And for any Snezhnayan roaming the streets and lurking in the shadows, there’d be no forgiveness.
#this is being posted later in the night than wanted so sorry about the typos#I'll reedit tomrrow morning I promise!#okay wow my computer almost crashed right now okay#albedo#childe#diluc#albedo x reader#childe x reader#diluc x reader#genshin impact#genshin impact fanfiction#scenarios#my writing
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🚨HLITF🚨
🍄Ayumu Shinonome🍄 - 2020 Special Story
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🎈🎉🎂🎉🎈
Ayumu Shinonome
17th of July
まあ、そうだろう。こんなのオレらしくもない。
でも、このサプライズを考えたのは一間違いなくオレだ。
(一年に一度のことだし)
Well, it’s understandable.
This kind of thing is so uncharacteristically of me.
But, I am definitely the one who thought about this surprise
After all, this event only happens once a year
.
Today is Ayumu’s birthday~
To celebrate it, I want to share with you guys the summary of Special Story from last year. (A translation will be provided too!!! 😉) This is a free story in 100恋+, everyone who voted Ayumu in year 2019 General Election will get access to read the story!
So without further do, here we go~
(This story will be told from Ayumu’s POV)
.
District S— (A popular downtown area in Tokyo)
2 P.M.
Student 1 “look, that person…”
Student 2 “Right, as expected!”
Student 1 “It’s a host, right.”
Student 2 “Definitely a host!”
The story started with Ayumu dressed in a formal suit, but there was a misunderstanding by a group of students. They thought Ayumu is a host (T/N: LOL!!! 😂)
After that, MC arrived and couldn’t help but admired Ayumu in his suit. And that just added the misunderstanding, the students thought a customer had arrived (aka. MC). Soon after that, Ayumu fled the scene and left her MC who hadn’t get to change her shoes yet. MC tried to catch him while plead to hold hands together.
We got flashback to two weeks ago in Ayumu’s Apartement. It’s all started because MC want to celebrate her birthday by having a date in formal suit. At first Ayumu thought it didn’t make any sense but later at Office Canteen (we got another flashback) Toru brought the topic that nowdays in SNS a ‘Man in Suit’ has an increasing popularity. Toru even offered to teach Ayumu how to do it, which was immediately turned down.
Toru Kurosawa “I don’t know who the other person is—“
Toru Kurosawa “But to prevent a rut, it’s important to do something different occasionally.”
Ayumu Shinonome “….”
Toru Kurosawa “I really don’t know who the other person is—“
Toru Kurosawa “As for woman who likes this kind of thing, I am sure she will be happy—“
That made Ayumu think that his MC certainly would like it so he decided to do that but he quickly regretted it. (T/N: 🤣)
For the next destination, they were going to a restaurant located on the 38th floor. MC was so ecstatic by the view and she is more excited by the afternoon tea set because the tea stand was five tiers high. But Ayumu didn’t seem to amused by it.
Flashback, Office Canteen. It was continuation of flashback with Toru. Now, they were talking about luxury afternoon tea at restaurant placed on the top floor. The tea stand was five tiers where usually it’s only two or three tier. Ayumu wasn't really convince when suddenly Soma chipped in which he though that there’s high possibility woman would love it. Especially if the woman loves food she would be curiou and would be happy just by having a five-tiers tea stand .
Present day, Restaurant. So we back at the present where MC had doubt if she could finish all the foods. Ayumu said that he was not worry about it at all, he said that if it’s her she would definitely finish everything. Later, Ayumu ordered afternoon tea set for two people and with original tea blend.
Ayumu Shinonome “Noisy”
MC “Eh.. I’m not…”
Ayumu Shinonome “Your stare”
Ayumu Shinonome “You’re staring intensely since a while ago”
MC who got caught staring at Ayumu then tried to explain herself, that because Ayumu is so handsome so her eyes were drawn to him. (T/N: I love how easy it’s for her to say it out loud. LOL) Ayumu wasn’t buying the excuse so MC explained it further that today was more special because Ayumu wore the suit for her. It made him 30% cooler, she was so happy and want to look at it again and again.
Flashback, Office Canteen. We got another continuation flashback, but now It was Toru gave out an advices about the importance of giving compliment on your partner’s clothing. Because if Ayumu wear a suit so his partner would be expected to wear a formal dress too. Since woman took longer time to put on makeup and do their hair so it’ll be good to praise them for the effort.
Ayumu Shinonome “If it’s about styling the hair, mine took longer (time)…” (T/N: Laugh 🤣)
Present Day, Restaurant. Ayumu took Toru's advice seriously so tried his best to compliment her.
Firstly he would compliment MC nonchalantly and casually but before he could said anything she had abruptly stand up and saying that she would excuse herself to change her shoes. She thought that Ayumu would make a comment at her shoes so she would changed her shoes right away. Unknowingly to her, she just missed Ayumu's attempt to praise her.
Ayumu was so perplexed, he thought he just missed his one in million chance to praised her. He tried to convince himself that it’s just Toru’s opinion and beside that her girl wasn’t really asked for a praise.
Present Day, Intersection. Although Ayumu said that he wouldn’t tried to praise her anymore but he kept thinking on how to compliment her. He was glad that MC loved the food and all but he still couldn’t figure out how to praise her. He thought that the dress was not bad, the heels went well with the dress and it’d been a while since he seen her in makeup. While Ayumu got worked up to praise MC, MC probably still had her head full of the afternoon tea. (T/N: Hahaha, MC please have mercy to this poor boy)
After that, they were talking about their next destination was and Ayumu pulled two tickets from her pocket. Those were tickets for Opera play.
Flashback, Office Canteen. It’s another continuation flashback where Toru made a list about places to go to in a formal suit. He suggested a luxury brand store, because when you go to luxury store in a suit you’d be treated politely and your woman companions would also feel like a celebrity. The other places are either a hotel restaurant or a bar with a nice night view where you could get close to each other with your partner. (T/N: Toru’s imagination is so wild!)
Actually, the one who came out with Opera play was Tsugaru. He recommended it thinking that it’d be a perfect date going to an Opera wearing formal wear.
Takaomi Tsugaru “However…”
Takaomi Tsugaru “Ayumu-san‘s partner may not understand what opera is though.”
Present Day, Intersection. So we go back to the present. Ayumu asked MC whether she knew what an Opera is. MC admitted that she didn’t really know much about it and probably never see one before. So that would be her first time to go to an Opera play. She was so excited to go to Opera for the first time and on top of that she was going with Ayumu.
Suddenly there was woman screaming that her bag got snatche. Before Ayumu could confirm what was happening, MC had already made a move. MC tried to block the thief but he escaped into back alley.
Present Day, Back Alley. While MC ran after the thief into the back alley, Ayumu choose another route. He predicted that the thief would go to his way, so Ayumu hoped that he and MC could trap him. As predicted the thief showed up and get trapped between Ayumu and MC. Little did the thief know, he turned around and ran toward MC. It happened so quickl that while the thief charged toward MC, she quickly catched his right hand and twisted it then she put her weight on him. (T/N: Love it when MC is in action)
Present Day, Intersection. After turning the thief over then hey went through interrogation. After finished it, they barely had enough time to go to Opera play.
Then there were whispers talked about MC’s clothes. The dress was tattered and there were holes in her stocking which probably she got that when she straddled the thief. She blabbered about changing his clothes or maybe buying a new one but the time was too tight. MC was so flustered. (T/N: Nooo, I am sad for her 😢)
Ayumu Shinonome “It’s alright, just leave it”
Strangely enough, the word just spilled out from me
Ayumu Shinonome “It’s not bad”
MC “Eh…”
Ayumu Shinonome “Today, you’re not too bad.”
She was so stylish before but now she is tattered.
But both of them are ’MC’
“It’s really not bad”
I tucked in her disheveled hair to make it tidy.
My girl looks up bewilderedly.
MC “Hm… Ayumu-san…?”
Ayumu Shinonome “Let’s go”
Present Day, Park. Later we know that they were going to a park. Actually they would go to the park after done with Opera play but the schedule was moved ahead of time because of the incident. MC was worried about her clothes but Ayumu assured her that it was okay because the park was already reserved. (T/N: Yup, Ayumu reserved the entire park for this occasion) That left MC in a daze.
Ayumu Shinonome “Hand”
MC “What…?”
Ayumu Shinonome “Left hand. Give it to me”
MC “Y—Yes..”
Ayumu then escorted her to the center of the park and they stop in the middle of gazebo (?) stairs.
Actually, this is the hardest thing to do for today
Well, it’s a birthday
It’s a special event so..
Ayumu Shinonome “3..2..1..”
As Ayumu snapped her finger, a lot of balloons started floating up. While MC was focus on the balloons, Ayumu picked up the hidden bouquet.
Ayumu Shinonome “Happy Birthday”
My girl opens her mouth in surprise
Well, it’s understandable. This kind of thing is so uncharacteristically of me.
But, I am definitely the one who thought about this surprise
After all, it only happens once a year
This is something that my girl would love
After that Ayumu asked MC about what her thought on the surprise. When MC didn’t answer him, Ayumu got panicking and thought that he had failed. (T/N: Uuugh my heart!🥺) It wasn’t the case tho, MC was so happy that she cried while hugging Ayumu. MC even started babbling about how much she love it and she wanted to stay together with him for a long time which Ayumu claimed that he didn’t understand what MC was saying. (Well, she was talking while crying hahaha 😂)
But later, we got to see that Ayumu actually understood what she was talking about.
That’s a lie.
Actually I perfectly understand it.
So please stay with me
Stay with me for the rest of your life.
Please don’t leave me.
I do things I don’t usually do and that’s because you've changed me.
Later Ayumu asked MC what she wanted to do. MC wants a kiss from Ayumu! That took Ayumu in surprise ’cause out of all things she could ask for, she asked for a kiss. He was reluctant at first because MC had just finished crying but then he surrendered to her and gave her a kiss.
Although it was salty from tears, Ayumu kinda liked the kiss. He thought that there must be something wrong with him. (T/N: no Ayumu. There isn’t anything wrong with you. You’re just whipped!🥺)
After kissing, MC declared that on she would do a surprise event on Ayumu's birthday which soon was declined by Ayumu.
Ayumu said that he don't need anything for his birthday. Then, MC started listing all the things she would do such as make Dinosaurs out of balloons, make 3D Dinosaurs Pancake or she might rent a museum. Ayumu then stopped her rambling with a kiss. (T/N: uugh MC and Ayumu are so adorable. I love them 😍 )
ほんといらないから。サプライズとか。
(キミがいてくれれば)
キミが、キミのままそばにいてくれてー
こうしてキスできれば、それだけで十分なのだ。
I don’t really need something like a surprise
If you’re there
You’re there, like you’re here now by my side—
If I can kiss you like this
That is enough.
.
.
.
So that’s all folks
The special story concludes the series of Peach Fanclub (2020). I miss him 😢
This special story just make the CGs 100% better!
I was crying with Mc when Ayumu give her congratulation on her birthday. My heart was fluttering when Ayumu tucked in MC’s hair then when he asked for her hand! I almost thought that he would be asking MC for ‘the hand’ (in marriage, LOL). There’s so many little gesture that I like in this story.
I really like his flow of thought and how adorable he is when he was awkwardly trying to please MC. I love it whenever he lower his tsun facade and show us his true sincere heart. I hope he could be more open to his MC. But it’s okay, one step at a time.
Props to our MPV, Toru Kurosawa! He gave all guidance for our tsundere mushroom throughout the story. Honorable mention to Soma and Tsugaru too!
.
.
.
Ayumu-san Happy Birthday! 🎉🎂🎉
I wish for many more story of you and your mc in the future too!
.
Lastly, I hope you all enjoy it!
Have a great day everyone ~ 😉 💕
#voltage inc#hlitf#her love in the force#恋人は公安刑事#ayumu shinonome#東雲歩#100恋+#Happy Birthday Ayumu#🍑 Peach Fanclub#love 365#It hasn't gone through proof reading. So I'll be editing it now and then 🙈
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FRUITS BASKET S3 EPISODE 8 RECAP AKA THE KYORU CHRONICLES PART 2 (plus a quick recap of eps 3-7)
aaaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I gotta get it out of me otherwise I won't be able to concentrate on work and I will be scrolling through the tag till the day I die. Everything from episode 3 of Season 3 literally hit me like an avalanche - literally cos I marathoned 3-7 over the weekend which I wouldn't advise unless you want an accelerated heartbeat - and I'm starting to realise... maybe I just wasn't ready for season 3. Despite asking for it, haha. Not gonna put as many screencaps for this one cos tumblr editing bay be trippin and I just don't have time nor emotional energy to be fighting with the picture uploads, sorry lol
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Episodes 3 - 7
I spoke before about how (despite my feelings about the characters) the English dub VAs for Akito and Shigure pair up really well audibly. And I think I feel the same way about both Yuki and Machi's English VAs! They both have the same soft spoken yet scratchy element to their voices almost like they are holding slightly back. Although, I'd argue that Yuki has been losing the element of slightly holding back as the anime has gone on which I wonder if the same would be included for Machi's performance?
I really like the presentation of Machi's trauma through her family's expectations to be perfect and how physical it is? How Yuki kind of encourages her to let it out in a healthy way? (Btw the whole chalk breaking scene in the meeting was SO FUCKING SMOOTH. YUKI IS A NERD BUT HE IS SO EFFORTLESSLY COOL A LOT OF THE TIME)
The age gap between Isuzu and Haru for sure isn't the worst age gap in this anime/manga but it's still a bit... hmm...
Episode 4:
In all seriousness, I know Akito deserves some sympathy but it doesn't change the fact that I still see her as a villain. Hurt people hurt people but it doesn't mean they should get away with it, I was honestly pleased Haru got that big confrontation with Akito to tell her WHAT'S WHAT but it was also somewhat... merciful?
Hiro's growth has been so beautiful to see, him realising there are bigger things than him from the event with Rin to his relationship with Kisa to then the birth of his little sister.
Kureno choosing to get his hands a little dirtier and paying the ultimate price for it (as far as we know so far in the anime lol) was great, he is the moon side of Tohru's sunshine.
Shigure... I still don't really get him and Akito's relationship. It's clear he's waiting for Akito to grow the fuck up but at the same time he's not creating an environment for her to grow and develop. He's decided to go with the 'tough love' route which I'm still deciding whether I like it or not tbh. Sometimes it feels necessary, at other times it feels shitty. I respect that he knows he's a scumbag and I don't deny that there are people out there who take revelry in the fact that they are awful but at the same time, him remaining unchanging despite everything feels... unrealistic. But considering throughout this story he doesn't seem affected by trauma, it's understandable, I guess?
Also... that scene where Shigure ponders about whether he should've been with Tohru is THE creepiest creeper shit he's EVER done in this series. No. 🙅🏾♀️
Momiji is best bunny boi regardless of how tall and 'manly' he becomes. 🐰His scene with Akito was so authentically him and he really did that shit. We love him. <3
I love the way that the curse breaking should (on surface) be a happy event considering all the trauma the zodiac went through because of it but it's presented mostly as loss as well as happiness. It's the realness of getting out of a bad relationship
Shigure basically laying it out to Tohru how Kyo means nothing in a very taunting way was an excellently painful scene and I choose violence. It was heartbreaking seeing how worthless they all saw Kyo compared to how Tohru saw him but... by this point I was just living in the pain so 🤷🏾♀️
The story visually showing how Isuzu is more willing to be soft after her whole ordeal through her fashion choices (e.g. the pastels, the cardigans) was really nice. And Haru being happy about Isuzu making friends with Tohru was cute!
It was nice we saw that Kazuma was still wary about whether Tohru loved Kyo for the right reasons, you'd assume after everything Kazuma would love Tohru as a match for Kyo but he's so emotionally intelligent and also just a protective Dad! Yay, good parenting!
Tohru's confession to loving Kyo was amazing however I still adore Kyo's confession a little bit more. Just a bit. Lol. However, if you add the moment later in episode 8 it trumps it completely. Ethereal goddess.
Kyo and Tohru's grandfather having a scene together was great and nice
Now that I think about it, I wish there was more a visual link in the story between Tohru adapting her speech to imitate her Dad and Momiji adopting his Mum's German accent. Albeit for slightly different reasons, it just adds to the unique connection Tohru and Momiji have. In short, I'm seeing this ship with my third eye now. I get it lol
I don't wanna screencap the scene where Kyo is haunted by both his deceased mother and deceased Kyoko and potentially deceased Tohru because it's the stuff of nightmares. But, it was a wonderfully done scene. You definitely understand fully and clearly why Kyo buried all of that trauma under his hatred for Yuki (I CAN'T WAIT FOR EPISODE 9, YOU GUISE!)
If Akito is a villain, Ren is the final boss. Although, with her type of villainy... I feel like I can kind of enjoy a bit more. She reminds me of a Greek God in the ways she master manipulates people and her desperation for control and power (I just read 'Mythos' by Stephen Fry, it's a great read lol)
It lowkey feels like every female character who's comfortable in expressing their sexuality in this story is punished in some way for it... this is an incomplete thought
Shigure as a child feeling like they should all be pitied is so... mature... I feel like I need more of an explanation for why Shigure is the way he is
Akito's ego death with Kureno? Amazing. I loved that she was at least aware enough to realise how Kureno had been coddling her all this time but again... doesn't excuse her crimes
But anyways...
EPISODE 8
Honestly? I really don't have much to say about this episode besides 3-5 points I wanna get out of my head. It's not a bad thing at all, it's just that there's still a lot left to play out from this 'arc' and this season in general that I wanna complete my thoughts on.
But I'll start with this:
Lol, isn't it funny?! Isn't it heart-wrenchingly funny how the relationship between Kyo and Tohru has kinda reverted back to how they were at the start of the series? The coldness of Kyo at the beginning of this episode (and throughout) was a bit of a gut punch considering all the light and fluffy moments that we've gotten between the two since the True Form arc.
Talking about the True Form arc, I feel like this episode is somewhat a repeat of the same emotions, same trials of the True Form arc. Kyo still 'runs away like he always has' but this time we get him being the most honest and confrontational with his own emotions and trauma than he ever has been during the course of this whole story. While trusting someone (Tohru specifically) for the first time with the whole truth of his story! He always seems to move one step forward and then three steps backwards and while it's a tad bit frustrating, it feels very... real. I'll probably complete my feelings how this arc reflects the True Form arc when we finish this section of the story in future episode(s).
Considering the fact that 80% of this episode is Jerry Jewell monologuing as Kyo and I never got bored really just sells his performance. Kyo was being incredibly cold this episode and yet the range of emotions through his performance made it feel understandable enough for you to empathise with it.
BrattyKid!Kyo to lighten the mood 😹I still wish he and Hiro had more of a relationship, I feel like they could have taught each other a lot. Well... mostly Kyo teaching Hiro tbh
Kyo rejecting Kyoka for her honesty and kindness and then later rejecting Tohru? Oh... kid...
Wow, I felt so good about that whole episode of Kid!Yuki helping Kid!Tohru get home and then it's slightly soured knowing KID!KYO was running about the streets alllll night into the morning?!?! I really did feel Kyo's frustration at not getting that win to actually do something right. And the irony of that being linked to him being unable to save Kyoka from the oncoming car?
Honestly, I don't know what my feelings are on Kyo being unable to save Kyoka. I don't even know what my feelings are on Tohru pretty much pushing that aside in favour of her feelings for Kyo. It's... complicated and I've been mulling it over in my head for the last 10+ years hahah However, if I was in Tohru's position I think I'd eventually come to a point where it feels like it's too late to really do anything about how bad I'd feel about it. Kyo's intentions weren't horrid, if anything he was just being a scared kid and he's allowed to be that. I just wish Tohru had a bit more time to evaluate it but considering she knew her mother well and assumes that wouldn't have been the full scope of what she had said, I don't have much of a problem with it in general
Lol, I love when Tohru gets a 'FUCK YOU, I LOVE YOU' moment with Kyo. 😂Another reflected scene from the True Form arc... only thing is that this time... it doesn't quite work. 😕
(Again, I love how all of these reflections are resolved in later occurences in response to the duality but I'll get to it next week when it shows hopefully)
Laura Bailey only had a few sentences in this episode but she killed it as always. Comparing her performance in 2001 to now is just... growth!
Ok, so Yuki automatically gets Best Boi in this episode for meddling and chasing after KYO of all people. Showing how he's personally done with hating Kyo. Realising Kyo is pretty much the only person who'll make his mother happy. I think he also lowkey wants to understand Kyo? But, we'll get to that next week.
....Oh yeah, Akito is there.
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In total, I liked this episode even though it has me anxious for the next one. We finally get the full picture of why Kyo is the way he is! Ahhhh - a weight off all our chests, I'm sure. I kinda don't like that they put the ending theme at the end of these episodes - the joyfulness doesn't really match up with the intense theme? But, that's just a minor gripe. And hey, maybe they just want the audience to know... it's all gonna be okay :)
See you next week!!!
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in response to ur great analyzing of tk in this episode: tbh i feel like i almost understand tk falling in with owen MORE if he was primarily taken care of by his mom. because let's face it, owen seems like the guy who doesn't want to be the bad guy and wants to be liked, and probably left gwyn to do the dirty side of parenting. so you have lil baby tk who has a FIREFIGHTER DAD, a dream for most young boys, and when he is present and there, is probably 'the fun parent' and i think it created a situation where at least in his youth tk definitely idolized owen. i think that's also shown in the season 1 finale when he's questioning why he became a firefighter and he realized it's because of owen. anyways just here to say that your blurb questioning why tk reacted that way gave so much nuance to the show where it's lacking and tbh makes me think you understand the characters way more than the writers and they should hire you okay thanks bye
@maurawrites (tagging you since you didn’t mean to send this on anon!)
There's a lot here lol. This is going to be long. Discussion stems from this post about 02 x 12.
First thing's first, I think if we are to understand TK and his character, we have to first understand who Owen Strand is and what kind of parent he is.
To begin: Owen Strand is a very selfish parent. This is not hate, just simple analysis. His whole life is focused on himself, his job, and his comfort. He loves his kid and would take a bullet for TK any day, but TK is not a priority to him. We see repeated examples of this in canon.
You said "Owen seems like the kind of guy who doesn't want to be the bad guy;" this is true. Owen cares what people think of him. He is brilliant, charismatic, charming, and always has to be the best and the smartest in the room, and he uses every one of his "favorable" qualities to his advantage. I love Paul/Marj/Mateo (obviously), and maybe this isn't entirely fair to say since it was the 911LS writers' decisions to go this route in an effort to make Rob Lowe's character look spectacular, but when I consider Owen Strand and the kind of person he is, it seems to me like he hired those three to make a statement (“I’m inclusive, these people are welcome here because I see their worth.”) Not necessarily tokenizing them, but, in a way, putting himself above all the backwater ideas one would expect of Texans. He hired Judd for the same reason, though it took a little more convincing. (”I have empathy for your plight. I am reaching out a hand to show you I am good and I am not your enemy”). That's not to say he's wrong, exactly, only to say that Owen is always consciously aware of who and what he's dealing with, and how to come out looking the best in any given situation. Simply: Owen's actions are statements to other people, and while not exactly a manipulation, it's definitely calculated.
So, of course he'd use that calculation with his son. Of course, given the fact that he was hardly around, Owen would want his son to adore him. Of course, he’d let the brunt of parental responsibility fall on his wife, regardless of the strain it must have put on their marriage with her always being the bad guy. TK definitely idolized Owen, but not because his dad was a firefighter, it goes deeper than that. He idolized his dad because those were the kind of feelings Owen cultivated. Note, I'm not saying Owen did this maliciously, by the way, I'm saying that this is simply the way Owen interacts with people. He preens under attention, even and especially from his son, and he knows how to get that attention. This worked for years, but as TK grew up and his maturity deepened, his perception of his dad would have changed. Owen's absences probably felt more pronounced, became more difficult to deal with, and it’s at this point that TK's worship of his dad morphs from blind adoration to "my dad is a firefighter, his job has his attention, therefore I want to be a firefighter because I want my dad's attention." I'm willing to bet that a lot, if not most of their conversations when he was a boy, were about firefighting. Not even really because TK cared about firefighting to the extent that his dad did (though he would come to love/appreciate it), but because it was common ground and a tool he could use to get closer to his dad. TK questioning his desire to be a firefighter and his subsequent transition from firefighter to paramedic is one of the first major life choices we ever see TK ever make. Even his sobriety was on Owen's conditions (though I believe TK would have gone back to being sober in his own time).
All of this to say that TK's actions in 02 x 12 can be interpreted in multiple ways and neither of them are wrong. Human beings are deeply complex creatures with deeply complex thoughts and motivations. I agree with this post that it's possible (and likely) TK was trying to incite a physical reaction from Carlos when he shoved him (as seen in the barfight scene, which I rewatched last night and whoo boy, that’s a meta for another day), but I also think it's possible that having to defend Owen against his boyfriend (a person who is supposed to love and trust him, and have his back) also triggered old feelings of childlike worship.
And while we're on the topic of TK's childhood and his relationship with his parents, I'd love to sink my teeth into TK's relationship with his mom real quick because I think, in some ways, TK believes he is the only one capable of truly evaluating and criticizing his dad (failed intervention notwithstanding). This goes back to the "us vs. them" mentality I made reference to in my original post. No one knows his dad better than he does, therefore no one is allowed to judge him so harshly (which he perceived Carlos as doing in 02 x 12). Considering that POV and the fact that TK’s relationship with his dad was built on common interest rather than natural father/son connectedness and cultivated in such a way that Owen shaped his affections, I think TK's relationship with his mom was rather strained. He probably sided with his dad in most arguments, didn't listen to his mom when she gave him a command/looked to his dad to see if he *really* had to do follow through, and things like that. Again, Owen did not cause this strain out of inherent or intentional malice, but it was an unintentional side effect of his actions. Side note: I imagine that was a very lonely household for Gwyn. But anyway, getting back to the topic at hand, I think as TK became older and started to see his dad for the complicated person he is, though unable to fully relinquish that childlike hero-worship (especially since at this point, the dynamic has already been established), he did allow himself to recognize his dad is kind of an asshole in some ways (which is why TK is even able to challenge him now). His mom, at one point on the outside of that “us vs them” dynamic, now rests somewhere in the middle as TK now fully understands that the issues in their relationship are not solely her fault. We see (minor) evidence of this in 02 x 07/08 (idk which) where he asks his mom if Owen said anything nasty to her upon learning that the baby wasn't his, I believe it was, with a tone full of disapproval. He’d still probably take his dad’s side more often than not, but he’d definitely approach the situation with a lot more nuance than he would have as a child.
Geeze, this was long. I wonder if I can get graded on this.
#tv: 911 lone star#type: meta#tyler strand#One day I'm going to talk about the inherent hypermasculinity of TK using the words man/dude when he's fighting#and how Owen is literally two steps away from profiling as a narcissit/sociopath/naricissitc sociopath#but today is most certainly not that day#anonymous#jack answers mail#answered#everyone please ignore the way i spelled narcissistic wrong TWICE lmao. i wrote this at midnight
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Reki and Langa’s dynamic
It’s speculation at my part and a shameless rant on what i like about sk8 just to get it off my chest I’ve been so fixated help
it’s 5am I’m at uni and i have a shit ton to do, am I really gonna make an essay about sk8 instead? yes abso-fucking-lutely. strap on to your metaphorical skateboards kids. this is going to be long ride
this isn’t to call out anyone lol so in case you get that impression I’m sorry. I understand everyone is out to interpret media in whatever they like and that’s fine, but sometimes i feel like either some missed some points of the story? anyway here are my thoughts tho
alright so what i absolutely love about sk8 is how they didn’t make anyone into a genius.Genius is a mockery of the hardships everyone does to attain that level of skills. And no Langa is not a genius or a prodigy which I will explain later. I’ve seen enough shounen animes back in the day and usually it’s ‘annoying heart of gold beginner vs. calm and collected genius’ they usually hate each other’s guts and bicker all the time though secretly, deep down care for each other but would rather die than admit it dynamic. While I’m glad we’re moving past that, I really thought Reki and Langa would be like that so....
imagine my surprise when Langa was the ‘beginner’ in skating. He has the potential to be a second sasuke here lol. (blue, handsome, cool) but no he isn’t. he’s an adorable idiot, an airhead, head empty only skating dude and i love it.
Reki as well. He could have been the usual protagonist. (sucks at his sport, loud, hardworking, and by the power of friendship he suddenly beats everyone else which i think is pretty overused at this point, don’t you think?) some people complain how Reki despite being the MC isn’t given screentime and hasn’t won a single beef. (and sure that’s true. he should have won some and langa lose some but we only have 12 eps so lol) but he’s not the usual protagonist you know? and sk8 isn’t about winning. if it was, I think they would have focused on the techniques. the hows and the what to do.
Idk if you noticed, but sports anime with winning in its goal would often explain in detail certain techniques. (see haikyuu) but shows like Free and Yuri on Ice isn’t exactly talking about how to win that seriously as Haikyuu did. It’s more focusing on the feelings and how their lives are affected with their passion for this sport. it’s about the character development!!! and i think SK8 is something like that too. It explores the character’s feelings rather than sport. (like what i tell my sister, they use the sport as a character device if that makes sense?)
this was literally in the opening lol. it’s really about the feelings you know?
so anyway it’s been pointed out several times that Reki was already feeling insecure about his skills in skating since ep 1 way before Langa came. But he still likes to skate and despite feeling never enough, he still enjoyed it. (some also pointed out that Reki’s reason of going into a beef against Shadow has been because he insulted his way of skating not because he wanted to be the best) so the show from the get go was already hinting at his self esteem issues.
this also implies that Reki has always been feeling like this in a while, added with his tendencies to bottle things up, it makes sense that he’ll blow up at some point and he’ll need to release all of those feelings. (so yeah i think this is just the right amount of eps for their fall out. i see some people complaining shush. otherwise it would also feel too rushed. this is years weighing him)
and i guess it’s also implied in here he’s had days like these too in the past! seriously it’s an ongoing problem he’s been carrying. i think 3 eps is pretty good enough pace to internalize it
so point: Reki was already down way before Langa came. langa just added to that. And don’t go blaming Langa cause the boy did nothing wrong.
Consider that Langa just lost his dad (i think we need more backstory on this though. please sdsjkdksl i need little Langa and his dad interactions) he just moved countries, and the only connection to his dad (snowboarding) is gone cause it doesn’t snow in OKinawa
though one also argues that Langa hasn’t been snowboarding since his dad was gone.
so for Langa, Reki introducing skating to him was revolutionary. You’re someone grieving over the death of what is probably the most important person in your life, the thing you love the most no longer gives you joy (as was shown in the flashbacks and basically Langa going ‘it’s the same’) and you’re in a new country with a language you barely are fluent. you can’t even read or write, and you barely have friends granted you don’t have much back in the day. it’s horrible.
and then this guy you barely know talks to you, befriends you, helps you get a job, and teaches you something you thought you’ve lost and through that you made more friends??
yeah you see why Langa likes Reki. You also see why he’s obsessed with skating. It’s kind of like a coping, a fixation. plus he’s bad with social cues i guess? the interview says he’s likely to get dumped for being too inattentive lmao and that’s what makes him interesting!
also the thing that really surprised me when they first interacted was how supportive Reki is to Langa. it also got to me with how much Langa thinks highly of Reki. Again a deviation to the ‘i say i hate you but deep down i care for you’ trope. they’re full on supportive and protective. i like that. it’s fresh to me. I thought Reki was going to the tsundere ‘hmph that’s not a big deal’ route at the start of ep 2 but he’s really amazed. (kinda also says he’s been very desperate for someone to share skating with but that’s another topic)
so Reki teaches Langa how to skate. and Langa sucks. Which was interesting to me because I thought Langa would be some flawless prince-like character. But nah. He trips and faints at his own blood lol. He’s so uncool and i love it.
Some people say Langa is over powered with a thick ass plot armor which gets him to win (which is why i see people saying he should have won against Joe and I actually agree that Langa should lose some beefs but again only 12 eps, so little time)
but I still wanna talk about it anyway so it’s revealed Langa was snowboarding since 2. That’s 15 years. I think that should be around the same time Joe and Cherry should be skating. and i think if you start earlier as a kid, your body develops differently. (should Langa, “an amateur” win against Joe a pro? the question falls more on whether you can classify Langa as an amateur) i think it’s like Langa being very used to motorcycle tricks from age 2 then suddenly he’s using a regular bicycle, and sure the feeling is mostly the same but there’s just something off. Your body doesn’t easily forget what you know, especially if it did it for 15 years. and so Reki customizes a board for Langa so it’ll feel exactly like snowboarding
So Langa has a customized board that he needed to get used to before he went pro. He really sucked the first few eps lmao. but that’s more of him getting used to the new rules. he pretty much told Reki in ep 2 that he can’t do a skateboard ollie, but he can do a snowboard one bec it’s attached to his feet.
(i may just want to add that one thing i also like about sk8 is that it really doesn’t care what you need for accommodation? if that’s how you do it best, then go for it. When Langa says to Reki he can’t do the ollie without the board attached to his feet, Reki immediately goes his way to accommodate him. usually people in real life might say ‘it’s not real skateboarding if you need a modification etc. but look at Cherry with a freaking AI board and people are like yeah whatever do what you want man. whatever rolls your board.)
so anyway Langa vs. Joe with Langa winning despite being an amateur? if you can even call him an amateur that is. Plus all his tricks are snowboarding tricks lol. everything he’s done is testament to his 15 years of snowboarding?? We don’t even know how good Langa is in snowboarding. Someone make a post about how difficult the snowboarding equivalent of those tricks Langa has done just to show people it means he’s pretty pro (I’ll even argue maybe Langa’s real talent is his creative ways of going around things which kind of why Adam is highkey obsessed, and calls Cherry who calculates everything to the last second boring but that’s a different can of worms I’m opening later) plus Langa barely won against Joe so there’s not much difference in level i think. Should Langa have lost though?
I think some have missed the point of that beef in Reki’s pov. and if the Renga reconciliation is done well, it would be worth it.
that beef got Reki to realize he what he really wants! that it’ll kill him if he can’t skate anymore! that he doesn’t wanna only cheer on for others and be a support! THAT HE WANTS TO SKATE BY LANGA’S SIDE WHICH IS THE REASON FOR ALL THIS INSECURITIES if Langa lost, that cathartic realization might not have happened. He might have gone to Langa and cheered him up, brushed off his insecurities and, made up with Langa halfheartedly without addressing his problems
I’m going to go back to Reki’s insecurities. In ep 6 he’s been afraid of being left behind, and sure Langa came back for him but he still forgot until midway. (will that parallel how Langa got too excited with the idea of skating, the same feeling he thought he lost forever. The same thing that he thinks connects him with his dad, and might have left Reki behind, but later remembers and goes back to chase him? hopefully) in ep 4 it’s obvious he’s afraid of the near death experience Adam gave him, and he’s just realized how different their skills were. in ep 5 he worries about Langa, enough to get nightmares about it. mixed with his friend getting hurt. it’s obvious the feelings are very very muddled there.
So he begs Langa not to skate with Adam.
And what did Langa do? say that he wanted to skate with Adam. (again he’s not the most attentive. he probably thinks he’s just skating with his best friend, all is good then boom. Reki leaves. as a person shit with dealing with other people, i don’t blame him at all) he’s trying to fix it though, but his bond with Reki primarily revolves around skating! how else was he going to warm up with Reki? He also doesn’t know that Reki has self esteem issues that’s always been there since the beginning. He probably doesn’t understand it too because he holds Reki up highly. in ep 6 when Reki was going over his board, Langa thinks he’s pretty cool. he didn’t hear what other said to Reki. He’s earnestly having fun with his friend
We should also note that Reki was never angry at Langa’s skills, he wasn’t resentful that Langa was far ahead. Again he’s been nothing but supportive. He doesn’t want to pull Langa down. He wasn’t like Miya’s friends that lashed out at Miya for being better. in ep 7 he tries his best to follow Langa
it feels like he’s mostly regretful that he can’t catch up. he doesn’t want Langa to slow down, he wants to go faster and meet him where he was. So it makes the realization that all he wants to do was be in equal with Langa more frustrating because he thinks he can’t keep up. (and this only ever started when he heard he’s like Langa’s plus one. there’s that daunting feeling about being pulled around. not being his equal)
if you need further proof, when Langa and Joe were having a beef, he wasn’t aggressively hoping Langa would lose. in fact he encouraged him. He worries deeply He calls him out when he was doing badly. Still very supportive as ever. So really the frustration isn’t to Langa, again, it’s all internal. He wants to be better
so he’s feeling shit and Langa goes to him in the middle of the rain, bless langa for trying, thinking talking about skating (what he thinks Reki loves and would probably cheer him up, not knowing that’s exactly his problem) tells him
which is probably the worst he could say.
THAT’S what got Reki mad, not really Reki being insecure though that’s part of it, that’s what they’re fighting about, Reki is angry he’s breaking his promise. He thinks Langa doesn’t care about Reki, that he’ll easily break a promise between them that Reki obviously cares about just so he can go skate with Adam who is way better than him. It blows to the self esteem. Reki probably also think that if only he was better, langa wouldn’t bother skating with someone that dangerous. it doesn’t help at all.
but langa doesn’t know this. he doesn’t see all this. Langa might have been too up the high of skating like in ep 6, he sorta left Reki behind again.
it kinda makes Langa’s mom’s words hit harder though
and he did just that. he got too engrossed.
It parallels adam, cherry and joe’s friendship then probably tadahsi’s too but who knows? reki and langa, and tadashi and adam might parallel too, the master and the student thingy Adam might have gotten too obsessed. So Joe trying his best to make sure Reki and Langa won’t end up like them hits a little harder in my chest ;’)
but Langa won’t be to engrossed i think
because unlike Adam who’s aggressively looking for his ‘equal’, Langa is just looking for someone who makes his heart beat, to make him feel like he’s skating with his dad again, someone he loves dearly. (there’s a parallel about loves here too between Adam’s and Langa’s. but I can’t write it now) and he probably already thinks Reki is his equal anyway. He just wants to have fun. he doesn’t think much about the skills.
maybe at first he does. that’s why he’s drawn to Adam but from ep 9, it was pretty much shown that skills really doesn’t matter from when he skated against Joe
if Adam easily discarded his friends because he think they’re boring (which was why the whole skateboard to the face thing with Cherry), langa doesn’t think like that
if anything Reki is important to Langa because he only has fun skating with Reki, who taught him how to skate and made his board. (his board that was customized to fit his style btw, and arguably the only reason he could skate that well. without it, he might as well be a beginner once again.) so without reki, langa is left with nothing. especially with his broken board
no fun in skating, no way of skating. He’s only manage to get this far because of Reki and he knows that now. All of it would be pointless if he doesn’t have Reki (and either he gets so obsessed in chasing that feeling again, or he stops completely) but in case you haven’t noticed it, Langa’s motivation revolves around having fun with skating no matter the skill or place. And he’s having most fun with Reki.
But Reki obviously doesn't know Langa’s feelings. He thinks Langa was forever looking for someone better. So he’s still caught up in the idea that Langa won’t want to skate with him (even though Langa has never shown this) and he left S entirely, thinking what he wants is impossible. fucking just talk you two motherfucker
(I also wanna point out that Reki has always been shown from episode one to be good at making boards. And that’s amazing? We need some support recognition and appreciation, seriously) I think maybe most who find problem with Reki not winning beefs like the usual shounen protags aren’t used to the nuance and perspective of being someone ‘ordinary’. Reki’s character is relatable because most of us feel ordinary, never enough, surrounded by geniuses, ‘inferior’. And if we’re being realistic since a lot are saying joe should have won because langa winning is unrealistic and you want realism so bad no I’m not salty at all there will always be someone better than you. ALWAYS. but what’s important is for you to have fun in what you love! in what makes you happy! AND even if you’re not good at one thing (in Reki’s part, skating) he’s also good at other things (making boards) so does he need to stop one for the other? no. He’s shown to enjoy skating with Langa, he doesn’t wanna stop it hurts him so much he quit. But he can also hone his skills in making boards as well as skate. He’s equal with Langa in a way he doesn’t even notice when he made that board for Langa, but even Reki’s presence alone makes Langa enjoy skating the way Reki also wants Langa by his side.
So I think the next ep is the best time to confront all these feelings. And how it happens might be what’s tricky. Like romantic or not, i personally can read it both ways though i prefer if they do become canon. (idk if it’s queerbaiting. i guess friends can care as deeply as that but ngl, these shounen bestfriends having deep connections that are written off as friends while also giving us bland af hetero love interests who did nothing but exist and be straight really is messing with my perception of romantic and platonic love irl) anyway their talk better be done really well, or else all those episodes of tension would be for nothing
It’s a nice perspective to give a shounen protagonist this time. It’s new, it’s fresh. How many incarnations of underdog turned the best at their craft can you take? variety is nice! and if you don’t like it, there are always a dozen other animes like that for you to turn to. to conclude, IT ALL GOES BACK TO THE START: WHAT IS YOUR HAPPINESS???! AND FOR THEM IT’S THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BUT IN A VERY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. FRIENDSHIP DOESN’T SUDDENLY GET YOU TO LEVEL 100000000000 TO DEFEAT THE FINAL BOSS. FRIENDSHIP IS WHAT MAKES DEFEATING THE FINAL BOSS WORTHWHILE
Anyway tldr; maybe the real Eve is the friends we made along the way :D and idk if I’m making sense but obviously I’m head empty only sk8. Renga needs to talk, i can’t believe they have the audacity to make a recap episode as if i wasn’t head empty only sk8 since february, and if there’s more emotional edging to come, i will burn some of the palm trees outside my house
#sk8 the infinity#sk8 anime#sk8 infinity#sk8 the infinity meta#sk8 meta#reki kyan#langa hasegawa#sk8 reki#sk8 langa#renga#reki x langa#just my thoughts#it's a long ass essay who am i kidding#i have 99 problems and renga is half of them#I'd like more characterizations though but it's like adam's story is the main focus of this thing#how fucked can you get that 3 people has issues with you directly?#3 indirectly?#while shadow is just there vibing#lmaoo#anyway long ass rant#this meta is for me anyway for when i start writing fics for this fandom#you're all just welcome to read it if you want#sk8 joe#Sk8 cherry#sk8 adam#kaoru sakurayashiki#kojiro nanjo#shindo ainosuke#tadashi kikuchi
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So, thing is.... I have not watched the episode. I just was spoilered on the explore page on youtube when looking up news and there it was. Thank you so much algorithm for ruining the only episode in 4 years that I actually would have liked to watch unspoilered. That’s off the table now of course…. That said. I will watch it later in full. So take all of this with a shitton of salt, because my opinion is basically based only on Dean’s death scene and Sam’s life montage and the ending in Heaven of them meeting again without any in between so I might miss some vital infos – and yeah maybe I should have waited to post after I have seen the full episode first, then again, it doesn’t really matter, my opinion doesn’t matter, as I have not been involved with fandom or tumblr in ages, but maybe my impression can help someone somewhere to feel a bit better about this ending.
So, with that said. And I guess this will be a surprise to most people, these little ten minutes of episode to me delivered more emotion – though the hair and make up on Jared as Aging!Sam was just awful lol so I am ignoring all that – than all of the past 4 years combined.
Is the ending dissatisfying? I can see how people think that. I have to say, I look at it more objectively since I am not involved in fandom etc. anymore. But imo and I really would not have ever expected to say that about an episode written by Dabb. Imo this ending does make sense. I see a lot of posts going around saying that this ending doesn’t make sense, because of the season long arc of the death of the author and fight for free will and that it is the badly written ending Chuck would have penned. And I kind of think no, it isn’t. It’s just that many people treated the past seasons or watched them with rose coloured glasses.
I have expressed in a single post last week why I have issues with Dabb’s era and people’s appraisal of him, because they excused all the bad writing with that only having been „Chuck’s bad writing“ and therefore Dabb and Co were so extremely clever and amazing and soooooo meta. Which yeah, no Dabb was no genius and neither was a Berens. It was objectively bad and lazy writing. This ending however imo actually makes sense – and people only hate it because they did not get what they wanted. Did I get what I wanted from this ending? Not by a long shot – for one: Dean would have deserved more. Much could have been done better, but from the quality or rather extreme lack thereof since Dabb took over, this ending is more than I ever would have expected possible.
So let me get into the meat of it and why I think that way. I can see why it is frustrating to accept this ending, because it feels like all of what they went through was for nothing, because it was never „truly them“ - and I guess that was Jensen’s biggest issue with that ending – and that Dean dies so quickly after just having been free(d). You see, if you operate with the death of the author and celebrating that fact, because it means true free will for the Winchesters then this ending simply – as dissatisfying as it may feel for the character who just achieved freedom – is a fitting one and indeed does not negate character development made (which arguably was influenced by Chuck and never real), but rather showcases it.
Dean dieing on a hunt, in a mundane fashion, due to a rusty nail many say is a disgrace, because it should have been an epic fighting scene or whatever. Why though? We had that countless times. We know Dean is a skilled fighter. He did many Big bads in. Why would it need one more for the final episode? Especially when considering all those times before Chuck has been pulling the strings (this is much more why I think they never should have introduced God in that way and go this route, because that in fact destroys all of the past – which again is why I think Jensen struggled with the ending). Again, I understand people’s discomfort, but I actually think Dean dieing on a hunt, in a mundane fashion, due to a rusty nail is a „good“ (as good as it can get with Dabb & Co) ending. Why? Because it all was entirely Dean. No Chuck. No big story. It was Dean. It was Dean writing his own story. Holding the pen. And That is all I ever wanted (would I have wanted it for him to be able to do it longer, hell yes, but even getting Dean’s joy of being free just for one day imo is worth it and worth more than a lifetime as a puppet for a cruel God). Dean died while doing what he believed in, what he loved doing, with his brother by his side and them both on the same page and not butting heads, he was there out of his own free will, he was not supercharged by an special weapon and he was most of all not indestructable because he was a plaything of God. He died, because he was/is free. Because that is what happens when life happens. And life is tragic. That’s what this is. A tragic death. A tragic death of a wonderful human being. And that’s always what I loved dean for: his humanity and his flaws.
And I don’t see/read it as Dean only finding happiness or true free will in death, though I understand why you could read it that way, absolutely. But imo seeing it that way only cuts things short. Dean was able to let go, he was able to say goodbye to Sam (now his whole speech about him being weaker than Sam etc., that part was enraging and unnescessary, but for the sake of the much despised „bigger picture“ I will ignore it here, because that part I have big issues with). That means he did „overcome“ his „always be there for Sammy“ and giving himself up in the process of doing that (and again yes, that he was only to overcome this when dieing makes this part pretty problematic, very much so – but then again, I don’t expect well crafted story from Dabb, so…). Every single time before (when God was still in the picture) the Winchesters did something bad to undo „death“, etc. whether that was what they would have done if God was not in the picture is up for debate, but in any case here Sam and Dean met one another on eye level. Sam let Dean go and he lived with the grief (yeah, the irony of Dabb trying to replicate „Swan Song“ with roles reversed just in a spectacularly worse way is not lost on me, believe me), but he kept going, didn’t go to extremes to reverse it. He lived with it. Because that’s how life happens. Most of the time it’s not fair. And it’s not what we deserve. But we „carry on“. And we keep writing our story. However a tragic one it might be. But at least it’s ours. We are the paper. We are the pen. And not a bit of spilled ink in Death’s or God’s book. And I happen to think that is as good as it gets…
Alright, those are my two cents on an episode that I haven’t seen lol. I am sure once I see it, there will be a lot of things I will probably dislike about it, but just from the small but probably big bits of the episode, these are my two cents. Don’t get up in arms over it. I am not here to fight. Have never been. And I sure won’t start now that I probably will never log back into this account. :)
#SPN Spoilers#SPN 15x20#SPN Series Finale#Supernatural Meta#SPN Meta#Pick up the pen Dean Winchester#Unpopular opinion#15x20#Carry on
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Many of Horror (Chapter one: This secret goodbye)
Fandom - How to train your dragon (movie franchise)
Ship - Eretlout (+ background relationships)
Wordcount - 3748 words
Fanfic summary - Moving on is hard, especially from something that doesn’t want to be forgotten. But it’s easier when you have someone with you who understands that mind-scarring agony, it’s easier when someone will hold you in the dark when all the monsters come out to play, it’s easier when you’re loved. But Eret is going overseas and Snotlout is left alone in a cold bed.
The dream is back and he feels sick. Sick in the head. (I really can’t think of a good summary for this, so sorry my dudes)
Tags/Warnings for this chapter - Mentions of past child abuse
So I have yet to finish this Fic yet but I’m just so excited to show it to yall that i just had to give you a little teaser!!! This fic takes place a year after HTTYD3 but the dragons never leave and Stoick never died because Hiccup deserved a whole family for more than one day (Dreamworks, i’m talking to you asshole)!
Also please check out The colour of friendship by Sarahenany and The colour of family by Thurdsday26 on the Archive because it they are big inspirations for this fic and if you love Spitelout bashing and Snotlout whump and found family then, oh boy, that is truly the jackpot of all Snotlout whump fics! Also, the title of this fic is based on the song Many of Horror by Biffy Clyro and this to the first like three lines and you’ll understand why!
Please enjoy and give me any feedback that you have, negative or positive, do not hold back bitches!!!! Haha lol bruh
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Eret is leaving today, but he'll be back in a few weeks, a month maximum if the summer storms keep at bay (Ruffnut prayed briefly to Thor before bed last night. She doesn't know why; it was an impulse thing). He, along with six other crewmates, will be sailing far up north to the port-island he once called home to establish a trading route for Berk and to perhaps arrange a meeting between Chief Stoick and the chief of his native village. The Northmen are good people, Eret had reassured during a council a week back, who've long been held under the sole of Drago's boot and will gladly reward those who levered that pressure with both miscellaneous goods and a long-lasting alliance.
The only problem with this grand adventure is that they'll have to travel dragon-less.
The Northmen too have been terrorised by dragons for generations and they will not hesitate to net, bludgeon, and flay the first dragon they see, even if said dragon has a rider on their back. Act first and ask later kind of folk, a mindset which Ruffnut is very familiar with. Eret predicts that the concept of living with dragons in peace and harmony is one his people will be suspicious of for a time, but he assures that they'll warm up to it eventually. So, the first few trips will be dragon-less and slowly they'll weasel their Berkian values in, a very cunning plan indeed if Ruff didn't say so herself.
So today is the day of departure and she's on her way to the docks for the send-off, alone for a change. Tuffnut, eager to be out the house and tired of waiting for her to finish braiding her hair, had nabbed Barf and Belch and left her on her lonesome to walk. At first, she'd been peeved to all Hel, rightfully so, muttering to herself about how easier life would be without her dolt of a twin till she remembered just how peaceful, well, peace was. As vexing as Tuff is, Ruff cannot deny her sibling love for him, but she also cannot deny the simple serene beauty of silence.
She's striding down a street of huts, the docks insight, when she hears a terribly familiar voice.
"You better be back in two weeks, if you're not, I'm coming after you,"
Snotlout.
Ruff pauses mid-stride and takes a step back, looking into a narrow alleyway between two huts. She steps closer and presses herself against the left hut wall, slyly peeking her head out to gaze searchingly into the shadowed alley where she'd definitely heard Snotlout's voice. As mad as she is (and she is mad), she isn't to the point of hearing imaginary voices in the shadows (not for a few years, at least).
There. Stuck between a wall and a bulky silhouette, is the short and distinctive shadow of Snotlout Jorgensen. The figure Snotlout is pressed against lets out a hushed laugh, head bowing and if wasn't for that laugh, she'd definitely be able to identify him solely for the dark outline of his facial profile.
Eret, Son of Eret.
Oh, this... This is interesting, very interesting indeed.
"No promises, we might have to delay returning if we see a storm on the horizon," Eret informs and Snotlout makes a displeased snort, to which Eret adds in response, "But if we don't then, we'll be back as soon as we can. Snotlout, you won't even know I've left,"
"It already feels like you've left me," Snotlout murmurs, head hung low, and it catches Ruffnut by surprise, that statement because it's such a vulnerable thing for Snotlout to say and the way he says it, quiet and anxious, is so alien to her.
The use of the word "me" too, makes her mind turn and burn with theories because there is something so very deep in the small, added word. She doesn't know what yet, but there is something painfully human about it.
Ruff watches the shadowed duo, transfixed as Eret lifts a hand to Snotlout's chin, tipping his head up so that they are looking at each other.
It's such an abnormal gesture for her to witness, especially between two people with whom she's never associated such tenderness before.
Eret has always been this tall, handsome, foreign stranger with a silky voice and a self-assured walk, who is as handy with a sword as he is on a boat, who's always there to help and give back to the people who gave him a better life. Snotlout has always been this hot-headed, confident loudmouth who is way too short to be as brave as he is and is way too good at singing for Ruff to admit, who's full of unyielding loyalty and howling laughter. But most importantly, they hate each other.
Or, now that she thinks of it, they did hate each other.
The last few months have been lacking the usual rivalry between Snotlout and Eret and she doesn't know why it's only hitting her now. At some point, they two of them became friends and she's pretty sure she isn't the only one who hasn't noticed, which is so peculiar because she, and the others, have seen the two of them hanging out at the sawmill and flying together at dusk to light the torches. Gods, they drank with each other last night and there hadn't been a single crass word spoken. When did this happen? She and the rest of Berk have gone blind!
"Snotlout, I'll be back. Soon. I can't promise you when, but I'll be back, and next time I go north, you can come with me," Eret assures, and though Ruff can't see Snotlout's features, she can feel the atmosphere lifting and hear the smile in his voice.
"Yeah?" There is something so hopeful and childish in the way he breathes that word, something that tugs at Ruff's heartstrings.
"Yeah, I'm sure I can convince Hiccup to spare you of your very honourable duties for a few weeks,"
"Hey, shut up!" Snotlout's foot jerks out sharply to jab Eret in the ankle, the former laughing breathlessly in response, "My work is honourable, okay? Someone has to test all those crazy weapons Hiccup cooks up and I'm the only man for the job, no one else is as brave as I am," He exclaims, all confident and cocky and familiar to Ruffnut.
"You're sure right about that," Eret says as he again raises his hand and, this time, it comes in contact with Snotlout's cheek, she can see the faint movement of his thumb smoothing over the skin beneath his eye. His voice is awfully soft with a terrible fondness that Ruffnut sometimes hears in Hiccup's voice when he speaks about Astrid or vice versa, it's a tone that she automatically links up to people who are fiercely in love.
Oh, Freya, they're in love.
"You gotta head down to the docks, Eret, you'll be late to leave... or whatever," Again, that insecure whisper is back and by Gods, it sounds so brittle and shaky that Ruff almost considers the thought that Snotlout might be crying.
She would be if she was about to be separated from her lover for an unknown amount of time, Ruff ain't afraid to admit that, but if Snotlout is afraid of anything, it's expressing feelings and emotions (He's afraid of proving he's human, proving he's weak). But then again, maybe it's easier for Snotlout to air out his inner thoughts in front of Eret because, well, they're in love and to be so intimate with someone, they're eventually going to see all the ugly parts that you hide beneath the pretty façade. Eret has probably seen the old insecurity they all know that still lurks deep inside Snotlout, raw and unfiltered, a thing from his youth that made him angry and afraid, a thing that was just as damaging as the scars on his flesh.
Ruffnut, nor anyone else on Berk, will ever forgive Spitelout for what he did to Snotlout. She will gladly say that the day he was exiled was the best day of her life and she will not be alone in the statement. Cruel, merciless, cold-blooded bastard deserved to be Blood-eagled if you ask Ruff and Tuff (probably Hiccup too, no one was more enraged than he was.)
(Ruff has never been afraid of Hiccup, except for once. He's far too lanky, too merciful, too kind, to be a scary guy. But that day, when Snotlout had lifted his tunic in the clubhouse and revealed the ivory scars that were striped across his back and chest, she'd taken a step back at the sight of the inferno that had kindled in his eyes, at the sudden look of mercilessness that had steeled his features, at the trembling fists clenched at his sides. He looked like a man ready to kill, like a man ready to burn then world to the ground, like a man ready to give it all up just for revenge. She was afraid of him that day. So, so afraid that she had nightmares about him for days afterwards.)
"I'll be a bit late, the lads won't mind," Eret says lowly, drawing Ruffnut from her walk-in memory-lane, and she feels her heart tug as he bows his head to press against Snotlout's, "I'll stay here. With you,"
Forehead touching, especially in Viking culture, is the tenderest way to touch the ones who mean dearest to you. Be it a lover, a blood-relative, a shield-brother, anyone who is buried deep in your heart. And here, in the shadows of an alley, hidden and quiet like a forbidden dream, two people hold each other. Soon, they will have to let go and isn't that the most heart-breaking thing? Letting go?
Her heart feels too big for her chest and she almost feels like a changed person by witnessing this, witnessing something she was never meant to see. Will love be like this for her too? Terribly tender and awfully soft? She doesn't know, Gods, she shouldn't be here.
Ruff tries to drag herself back but she's like a moth to a flame, unable to pull herself away from this blindingly beautiful display of love, so raw, so real. She never imaged Snotlout to fall so easily to soft caresses, but of course, he would. It is always our deepest wants that will bring us to our knees and all Snotlout has ever wanted is love, a gentle hand, a place to bury his heart.
They share a deep and long kiss. It makes her feel lonely and she doesn't know why. They part, breathing on each other's lips and holding each other tightly because they know, they know, they have to let go any moment. Their foreheads are still touching.
"Promise me," Snotlout whispers and she sees the silhouette of his Adam's apple bob as he swallows thickly, "promise me you'll come back. To me. Eret, promise you'll come ba-"
A quick but meaningful kiss quietens Snotlout's desperate pleas and Ruffnut has never heard him beg before, not like that, not like he's afraid that Ragnarök is about to fall upon them. Eret cradles Snotlout's face with his large hands. They are so close, they've almost become one shadow.
"I promise you, Snotlout," Eret vows, quiet but vehement, his lips brushing against Snotlout's, "I promise that I will come back to you,"
Another kiss is shared between them, sealing the oath that Eret has made and therefore making it unbreakable. Eret will return, he has to, and Ruff doesn't know what will happen if he doesn't. Something tragic, something unbearable to watch, something she can't allow to happen. She will not see Snotlout ruined again. So, she promises herself that if Eret does not return, she'll fly herself up to Valhalla, drag him back to Berk and the Gods best keep themselves to themselves and not get in the way of her mission, lest the know the true wrath of a Thorston woman.
"Come on, before Hiccup starts a search party," Snotlout says, voice stronger now that the promise of returning has been made, "Selkie's gonna want a proper goodbye too or she's gonna follow you the whole way,"
Eret nods in agreement and peeks his head out of the alleyway, looking up and down the street in search of any unwanted bystanders. In the sunlight, his eyes glitter amber and Ruffnut can make out his hand, large and golden, curled around Snotlout's.
"You sure you can handle her? I know that-"
"Gods, Eret, she's the timidest Thunderdrum I've ever seen! If I can handle Hookfang and a borderline psychotic Terror, among other things, then she's going to be a piece of cake," He reassures, almost sounding offended, and Eret chuckles softly as he gives Snotlout a fond look.
Ruff watches them step out from the alley into the sunlit street, hands no longer intertwined. She can make out the red flush on Snotlout's cheeks and the faint wetness beneath his eyes, which he wipes away hastily. The two of them share a look, secret and quiet, lips curled into gentle smiles, fingers twitching with the longing to touch. Then, as sudden as lightning, the tender-faces fall away and they leave, together but still somehow so far apart. They enter the real world not as lovers, but as friends, as a secret waiting to reveal itself.
For a few moments, she stays where she is, staring into the unlikely place of a secret lovers' farewell. Who knew that a place like this, small and dark, would hold such a tragic and beautiful moment? Ruffnut feels a mixture of emotions, the biggest one being happiness because bless the Gods, Snotlout has found love and if anyone deserves it, it's him.
At the after ceremony of Hiccup and Astrid's wedding a year back, a drunk Snotlout had suddenly embraced her tight and long and said; I'm gonna be alone forever, Ruffy, but that's okay, I got you guys, so... I not really alone. And being just as drunk as he was, she'd laughed and poured him another drink, dancing with him till the sun came to steal the night. She didn't remember what he said till a few days after and it had filled up with such a fierce and sudden sadness that Tuffnut had dragged her home, demanding an explanation for the terrible look in her eyes.
That's the thing with a twin like Tuff, the second her mood changes, he can sense it like a hunting dog catching the scent of blood. She can do it too, but Tuff has never been one to hide his true feelings while she, similar to Snotlout, would rather avoid the conflict of talking sentiments (even with Tuff). Her brother has to drag it out of her most times, corner her and say stupidly melancholic stuff like;
I can smell it, sister. You're sad.
Tuffnut is a curse and blessing all at once and she wouldn't have it any other way.
But anyway, she's overjoyed to see Snotlout in love and loved, but she's also anxious about it. Anxious in a way an older sibling is over a younger sibling when they start to dabble in dangerous things, in things that can get them hurt. And if love is anything, it's dangerous. If love can do anything, it can get you hurt.
Snotlout has been hurt enough. Snotlout has endured and lived through torture and torment, through betrayal and loss, through things she can't imagine surviving. She will not see him hurt again, not by Eret, not by love, not by anything. He doesn't deserve it.
The others will also share her feelings when they discover this secret love story, that she is sure of. Especially Hiccup, who in the past few years has become like an older brother to Snotlout (like the same way that Stoick has become a father to him, the same way Valka has become a mother to him). He takes his new sibling occupation very seriously and it is comical, the wiser brother and the reckless brother always at odds but always there to protect each other.
There's a headache brewing in her temple. Gods, she's been thinking and overthinking again.
It'll be fine, she reassures herself, stepping away from the alley and making towards the docks, the Gods wouldn't curse them all with more bad fortune, would they?
It's probably the most stupid question she's ever thought, in hindsight.
When she gets to the docks, it's jam-packed with dragons and Vikings alike, friends and family saying farewell to the crew and wishing them good fortune on their journey. The sky is clear and blue, perfect for sailing, and Ruff concludes that she wasn't the only one begging Thor to keep his storms to himself.
Immediately, her eyes are drawn to Tuffnut, dangling upside down from Belch's neck as he converses with a bemused Fishlegs. She's tempted to go over, but not yet, she has to do something first.
She quickly surveys the area, seeing one of the Berkian members of Eret's crew giving his vermilion Nadder a thorough farewell and a Northman kissing his Shield-maiden fiancé goodbye.
The Northmen, Eret included, were intrigued to see such wild and free women when they first came to Berk. Berkian women are hearty and frightening and hard to impress, daughters of wolves, bearers of warriors, the fiercest things on the battlefield.
So it had been a cultural shock to them, Eret had admitted one day, for their home only holds women who sew the clothes and make the food, who bear the children and tend to the house, who are quiet and timid and easily won over by a half-assed sonnet. Most marriages are arranged and many daughters are traded for land or gold, true love is a rarity to come by. Eret is proud of his home, but these are the parts he is ashamed of.
Astrid was the first woman Eret had ever seen to hold a weapon and he'd never met a woman as savage as Ruffnut before. Ruff will forever be proud that she was Eret's first taste of wildness.
There. She's found who she's looking for.
Eret kneels on one knee before Selkie, his beauty of Thunderdrum. She's orange like a sunset, pale and washed-out, with white flecks scattering her hide like parted clouds, matching her ivory belly, and Ruffnut has never seen a dragon with eyes that blue before. Selkie lets out an unhappy groan as she presses her face further into Eret's hand, eyes low in her grief as she listens to his whispers. Ruffnut can't make out what he's saying, but she's sure it's everything soft and reassuring.
Snotlout is close by, she notices, watching Eret with an open fondness. If Hiccup or Astrid walked by right now and took notice of the raw love in Snotlout's gaze, they would immediately know the truth. Clearly, she isn't the only one thinking this because Hookfang, stood beside his rider, nudges Snotlout with a warning hiss in the back of his throat. Never let it be said that Hookfang doesn't look out for Snotlout, he's ornery and easily distracted, but he makes up for it all with his loyalty.
Soon enough, the ship is ready and it's time to go. People gather along the docks and make their last hurried farewells. The drums begin and the chants of fortune echo across the waters, there's an intoxicating atmosphere permeating the air. Ruffnut hurries through the crowd, easily shoving unmoving folk to the deck in her haste because she has yet to speak with Eret. He's shaking hands with Chief Stoick and is about to go up the gang walk when she suddenly lunges herself at him.
"Ruffnut!" He gasps, surprised and clearly a bit uncomfortable, but he'll have to deal with her for the moment, "Thought you weren't going to- uh- show,"
"Course I was, idiot, and anyways-" She leans her head close to his ear and wraps a hand around his bicep, digging her sharp nails into his flesh threateningly as she whispers, "-I have to remind you to keep to that promise, Eret, son of Eret, I'm not going to have Snotlout hurt again. I was robbed of my revenge last time, I won't be again,"
When she pulls back, she flashes him a smile with too many teeth and bats her lashes with an intimidating gleam in her eyes. She's given this look to men who are now dead and it is Eret's choice if he wishes to be added to that mass grave. Eret stares back at her with shocked eyes, cheeks slightly red, and he clenches his jaw as he swallows thickly, rubbing a hand over the raised welts on his bicep. The drums echo across the water and the chanting voices chase after in earnest. After a bewildering moment, Eret gives her an awkward but thankful smile and nods his head in understanding.
"I'll keep that in mind," He says and all the tension in his muscles seem to slip away as Ruffnut softens her menacing gaze on him, clapping him boisterously on the already injured shoulder.
"Atta boy," She cackles, shoving him up the gang walk as she calls after him, a throaty laugh colouring her words, "You better be back in two weeks, you son of an Eret, or I'm coming after you!"
To her delight, she hears him laugh back at her.
The ship finally departs from the dock, sail high and proud as its pushed by the encouraging wind and the waves part smoothly as the bow cuts through the water, sure and steady. Some of the crew hang off the ratlines, saying goodbye to Berk (for now), and Eret stands, tall and almost warrior-like, on the stern. The salt-touched wind carries his dark hair and the sun reflects off his dark eyes, they glitter with a sadness that Ruffnut wouldn't have noticed if she didn't know the things she knew. His smile is melancholic, Gods, he already looks homesick. He's looking at someone and she already knows who.
Turning to look at Snotlout, she can see that his hands are balled up into white-knuckled fists, that his smile is forced and pained, that his eyes shimmer with tears.
Snotlout has always hated goodbyes. Especially ones that aren't supposed to last. Because they always do.
#eretlout#Snotlout Jorgenson#snotlout whump#httyd fanfiction#httyd#eret son of eret#oh god this is a lot#i have so much planned for this fic
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