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#and angst isn't funny

diamonds-a-lapdog · 3 months

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Ultimate fandom crack

Pokemon × Digimon × Dinosaur King × Bayblade: Metal Fusion × Bakugon × BuddyFight

#someone needs to make this happen #imagine all the protagonists in the same room #the amount of nostalgic #and angst isn't funny #early 2000s #bakugan #dragon king #beyblade #fandom crack

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chaosfantasmic · 2 months

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Lu fandom I love you to death but PLEASE write centric about other characters BESIDES WILD I'm begging y'all. Like yea he's good, he has trauma and stuff like that but what about SKY The guilt of starting everything and getting told "you suck bitch" to his FACE And wind who had to stab a man and save his sister at 12 and wars like yea wild has war trauma but what about WARS ITS IN HIS NAME I love wild but y'all use him WAY TOO MUCH, and water him down to "funny depressed gender man that sets things on fire" and ignore the fact that he's actually pretty mature sometimes. Like yea there's a bunch of interesting things you can do with him but be honest HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE DONE THAT ALREADY What about Times magic, wars not being canon, four and the minish, Sky and oh my god the OPPORTUNITIES y'all miss with this man. And its sad bc if wild isn't your favorite in the fandom, then your basically in the trenches when it comes to finding good centric fics for literally ANY other character. No hate to y'all wild lovers out there, but as a wars fan, good angst for this man is like a delicacy. I love wild when he acts like how he does in the comics, a little chaotic but still mature. Y'all don't have to hate him I sure don't, but there are so many missed opportunities yall dont use over something that's arguably been done a million times.

(but pls don't go harass wild fans after this that won't solve anything)

#legend of zelda #linked universe #linked universe wild #lu wild #linkeduniverse #please im begging #Maybe its bc the fandom is full of ppl who only played botw and totk and literally nothing else but hw is on the switch #And for a while botw and totk were the only games I played and I did like wild #But then I discovered wars ON MY OWN and I liked him ALOT #But he got screwed over bc his game isn't canon and nobody really knows abt it #That and he gets watered down to “fruity pretty man”#Its fine if you do that for funny memes and stuff cause there yknow memes #But for an angst fic?

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feroluce · 1 month

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I've only recently started having my own thoughts about Emanator!Sampo and I think my favorite version of this is that he is technically an Emanator, it's just that he doesn't talk about it because Aha is a dick who only blesses people that don't want it and Sampo hates it here dkjxkdkdck

Aha blessed the Mourning Actors! A whole faction of people who have specifically made it their life's mission to resist Elation! They made a literal worm their Emanator just to see if it would be accepted into the Genius Society! And when it wasn't, Aha just as easily killed it and tossed it aside! So I feel like there is a good possibility that Aha looked down at Sampo, this little oddball who doesn't seem to even like Epsilon or a lot of the Masked Fools and was like.

Hey.

You know what would be really really funny.

And I feel like being an Emanator wouldn't even be a plus for Sampo, because of how he operates. Sampo excels at blending in; he managed to smuggle himself onto a planet

that had been isolated for 700 years,

with only one (1) single city on it,

and going even further, he snuck himself into the Underground,

where the population is even more sparse,

and STILL. Not a single accusation of him being an alien! Not even after the Astral Express lands and proves that interstellar space travel is possible! Sampo is so thoroughly ingrained into Belobog that yeah, some people admit they don't know his origins, but none of it ever comes with the question of whether he actually is a Belobog native or not. Sampo knows exactly how to blend himself into his surroundings in the most subtle way possible. And being an Emanator, something far more powerful than any normal human or Pathstrider could ever hope to be, would only throw in a massive extra variable for him. Sampo would have to be so so careful to keep a lid on his Emanator traits, to keep up the appearance of being totally normal and average at all times. It doesn't help him at all.

And this part is pure indulgence, but I love taking Aha's closeness with mortals, and THEIR tendency to take human form, and twisting it into a case of THEM using Sampo as a vessel.

I want Aha to look at Sampo the same way all of us look at Sampo. A chew toy. A plaything. Something to shove through the meat grinder. Aha thinks Sampo is hilarious and a funny, silly little guy, and THEY want to put him in Situations just to see what he does. Sampo is not a fan.

This though, this is what makes Sampo so wildly entertaining as a vessel. Because Aha knows that Sampo does not want to be a vessel, does not even want to be an Emanator, and THEY find it SO much fun to watch the mental gymnastics he has to pull to convince himself he's ok with it, this is fine actually, because he's not exactly about to tell off a literal god. He doesn't feel like getting a smiting today, please and thank you.

Because squeezing yourself into a human vessel is so different than merely adopting a human disguise, there's already a human soul in there, it's kind of a tight fit. If Sampo doesn't make room, doesn't all but dissociate right out of his own body, it could cause. Consequences.

And so, Aha always gives a warning, just to watch him squirm.

It begins with the sound of bells.

Just little ones, at first. Small, clinking little sounds that could even be considered nice. Something almost gentle, like a wind chime in a pleasant breeze on a warm day. This is the signal for the countdown.

Sampo breathes in, breathes out. Makes himself as small as possible within his own body.

The bells rise and multiply, tinkling wind chimes give way to sleigh bells, to shopkeepers bells, the sound of something inevitable approaching, something entering.

Sampo breathes in, breathes out. Dilutes himself, weaker and weaker concentrations.

The bells rise and rise, multiply and multiply, celebration and tragedy resonating in the sound of church bells, ringing bright and loud, the sounds of weddings and funerals both the same.

Sampo breathes in, breathes out. Becomes like smoke, like vapor. Hollows himself out.

Empty, empty, empty until he echoes, like a bell, like something with the sole purpose of being shaken and rattled around, a thing to be struck, the sounds jarring and punched out and gasping and piercing the air, the lung, the eardrum.

Sampo breathes in.

Beaten he rings, bashed in he sings.

Aha breathes out.

#sampo koski #hsr sampo #hsr aha #emanator!sampo #emanator sampo #hsr #honkai star rail #my fics #pardon me I've been listening to a lot of kara kara kara by kikuo lately dkxjkskdmd #I really like Emanator Sampo theories and even think canon is pointing that way- assuming he isn't just Aha in disguise #but I also like Sampo being a pathetic little guy. a squeaky toy. just a little dude.#and thus. this skzjnskdkd #an Emanator but pathetic about it haha #stringing Sampo up like a piñata so I can beat him with the possession angst stick ☆#he just has a lot of personality. Sampo is very bright and vibrant and distinctive-#-and always perfectly in control of himself to put on the best show.#so I think it's most jarring to see him dissociate- to see him go completely still and quiet just trying to breathe and settle #breate and settle breathe and settle breathe and settle #until he looks distant and hazy and goes unresponsive. until he feels like he is barely within his own body.#aha thinks this is funny #sampo tells himself he does too because it's easier that way #(shaking hands with Aha and Sparkle as I too like to mess with Sampo and put him in situations snkzjsjdkd)

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bunchofdoodlesinspace · 3 months

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"Charmix: a temporary power-up gained when a fairy is able to overcome a personal insecurity."

I guess this is a continuation of this post?? I blame this mostly on the fact I've actually been rewatching the early seasons of the show again LKJFKLHG

But I got slapped in the face with this mental image of Phil standing up to the Ender King and gaining his Charmix in the process, because he's able to get past his insecurities about being a father and keeping his eggs safe :D

Also! I decided to do the style of Charmix that I created for my own personal redesign series that I. have yet to post art of. But shhh I just thought the glowing lines would look cool okay just roll with it-

#qsmp #philza #philza fanart #winx club #cupcake draws stuff #this isn't the only idea I've had w this concept too actually #but I'll need more time for the other one bc it'll be longer KJGKJ #can't believe this is kind of an actual AU now it was supposed to be a funny lil joke #and then I started thinking of all the ANGST and PLOT POTENTIAL #and now we're here #not that I'm upset about that I'm having a great time w this ngl

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resident-gay-bitch · 11 months

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Day Three of @steddie-week - discover / first kiss / kiss on my list

find the previous day here :)

The afterlife wasn’t what Eddie thought it would be. Granted, he didn’t think it would be like anything. He’d gone the majority thinking that after death there's just… nothing. Like, it’s just death. Eternal darkness. Whatever. Most people would give him weird looks when he’d say that, most believing in at least a Heaven and Hell, but Eddie didn’t care. It’s what he believed, and that was that.

But if there was an afterlife, this was certainly far from what he’d expected. You know, maybe it would be insanely hot or cold, like just a severely uncomfortable temperature, and decolate lonesome, maybe some form of morbid torture, or the distrant screams of other lost souls drifting through the halls of corridors of Hell. Or, on the slight chance he’d made it to Heaven, he’d get greeted by some angel or whatever and everyone would be in white togas or something.

He certainly didn’t expect the afterlife to look like a hospital room, or to sound like a beeping machine and snoring and distant laughter, or smell oddly sterile, or feel comfortably warm.

He also didn’t expect to feel super good about it.

“Jesus- kid!” He heard a gruff voice say, and it was familiar.

What the fuck was Uncle Wayne doing in my afterlife?

And then his body was shocked with the warm feeling of a full bodied hug and his senses were filled with the thick scent of a woody aftershave and cheap detergent and instant coffee, and Eddie couldn’t care to question why his uncle was dead too, he just wanted to hug him. He hadn’t hugged him in a very long time, and right now, it felt super nice.

It was a long hug too, and he was pretty sure Wayne was crying.

He hadn’t seen Wayne cry, ever, except for that one day when Eddie got put into his care after his mother had died.

Wayne pulled back and planted his hands sternly on Eddie’s shoulders, and his cheeks were all wet and his under eyes were all swollen, and it was a very strange thing to look at. Wayne wasn’t a vulnerable person, and he allowed himself to be vulnerable around Eddie, when Eddie was hurting, but never to this extent. The man looked distraught.

Eddie supposed he did just die, so it was nice to know one person wasn’t feeling so hot about it.

“Never do that again, kid.”

Eddie furrowed his brow, “Do what?” His voice sounded weird, a little scratchy. It bugged him out.

“Die.” Wayne said sternly.

Eddie pulled a weird face and started to giggle, “Erm, I don’t think I can promise that, Wayne.”

“Promise it.” He pressed again.

“I promise… I will not… try to die.” Eddie said with a nod and another giggle, “I don’t have much say over the matter.”

“Fine.” Wayne gruffed, and then pointed a finger at him, “No dying until I’m long dead.”

Eddie didn’t like the sound of that. Of Wayne dying. Wayne wasn’t supposed to die. That’s just not a thing that can happen. Eddie needs him too much.

Wait.

Waynes already dead… if they’re here.

In the afterlife.

Oh my god, Waynes dead.

Eddie started hyperventilating.

“Wo- woah, woah, what’s going on, son?” Wayne pressed a hand over Eddie’s hear and tried to calm him, “I- I’m sorry, I’m not… I didn’t mean- I didn’t-”

“No!” Eddie shook his head, he felt frantic. Wayne couldn’t be dead. He just… he couldn’t. He wasn’t supposed to die! Fuck, “Wh- why are you here?”

“I’m-” Wayne looked like he was choking up and Eddie hated it, “Wh- what did I do? How can I… g- get a nurse-”

“Hey.” Another voice drifted into the picture and Eddie felt another set of hands on his chest and shoulder, slowly guiding him back down into his pillows, “Hey… hey… shhh.”

“Wh- what’s…” Eddie looked at the voice, and it was an Angel.

Huh, Eddie always thought Angels were supposed to be like, those big scary things with the eye in the middle and like, rings around it or too many wings, and it looked like it was supposed to trip you out. That’s what the damn Bible said. But hey, he guessed humans got something right.

They were beautiful creatures, Angels. They had soft features, and pretty pink lips, and freckles smattered over rosy cheeks, and gorgeous eyes, and strong shoulders, and fluffy brown hair, and moles that scattered it’s tanned skin, and muscles, and wore yellow sweaters.

Eddie relaxed a little in the Angel's presence.

He never thought himself religious, but after coming face first with divinity such as this, Eddie thought he might start praying every day.

“Relax. You’re okay.” The Angel said again, and Eddie listened, “What’s wrong?”

“He can’t be here.” Eddie whined, he felt his eyes grow a little wet and he struggled to lift a hand high enough to point back at Wayne.

The Angel furrowed its pretty brow, “Why not?”

“He can’t.” Eddie shook his head, a stern whisper, “It’s too soon.”

The Angel clenched his jaw, “Do… Do you want him to leave?”

“Please.” Eddie begged, because if anyone could grant life to a mortal again, it would be this Angel, wouldn’t it?

“Really?” Wayne croaked, and Eddie turned to look at him, “You don’t want me here, kid?”

Eddie shook his head, Wayne has to live. He has to. Eddie wont be okay if he doesn't.

Wayne's breath hitched, “W- well, alright then.” He stepped away from the bed and Eddie already missed him, “B-bye.”

Eddie looked at the Angel with desperation, “He’s going to be okay?”

The Angel swallowed, “Hes… what?”

“You’re going to make sure he’s okay?” Eddie pressed, and he really hoped this Angel did what was best for Wayne, “You’re going to watch over him?”

“Sorry?” The Angel looked confused.

Weird. It must be his first week on the job or something.

“Will my uncle be okay down there?”

“Down where?” The angel asked and looked over to Wayne.

“On earth.” Eddie said with a sassy shake of his head, because where the fuck else would he be talking about?, “Where people live?”

“Wh-”

“Eddie.” Wayne interrupted, stepping a little closer, “Are… Where do you think you are right now?”

“I dunno.” Eddie shrugged, “Heaven? Is that what you call it here?” He looked back to the Angel.

“Heaven?” Wayne asked again, “Didn’t think you believed in that-”

“Shh!” Eddie pulled a stern face at him and gestured his head toward the Angel, “Don’t tell it that.”

“It?” The Angel asked.

Eddie turned back to the beautiful entity, “Do Angels have gender?”

The Angel furrowed its brow again, and Eddie heard Wayne snicker from behind him, and then the Angels' already rosy cheeks turned even pinker, “E- Eddie…” it knew his name? Fuck, of course it knew his name, it was a damn Angel. But Eddie was still a little awestruck because wow, something that beautiful is addressing him?, “Do- do you think I’m an Angel?”

Eddie blushed a little this time, “Am I not supposed to figure it out?” He thought for a moment. Maybe Angels take the form of a human to blend in, to not scare people with their super big scary eye or whatever, “Sorry- I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

The Angel smiled, and it was so pretty. It had a lovely set of pearly whites too, and Eddie maybe wanted to run his fingers along them.

“Ed…” Wayne put his warm, roughed up hand on Eddie’s forearm and smiled, “Do you think you’re dead?”

Eddie nodded, as if it was obvious, “I died… it was… oh, Wayne, it hurt so bad.” He scoffed and shook his head, “Wished you were there… but it’s okay. I had Dustin… and Steve.”

Wayne’s eyes widened a little, “Oh, you had Steve did you?”

Eddie nodded, “Yeah…” He sighed a little dreamily, “He’s so handsome.” And then he giggled.

Wayne grinned almost evilly and sat himself back down in his chair, “I bet he is. Did you tell him?”

“Oh yeah.” Eddie nodded, “He was the last thing I saw, you know? Such a pretty face.”

The Angel's breath hitched behind him, and then Eddie turned to look at it. The Angel sat down too, and Eddie thought it kind of looked a little like Steve. A lot like Steve, actually. It was so pretty.

Eddie giggled and reached a finger out to draw it over the Angels cheek, down over its nose and the top of its lip, “Like you… but… sorry, Steve’s more beautiful.”

“What?” A third voice entered the conversation, with a little shriek. Eddie looked over to see… oh no, Dustin. Dustin dropped all his things and threw himself at Eddie, climbing up onto the bed and wrapping himself around him, “You’re okay!”

Why was everyone dead?

Eddie held Dustin tight and looked to the Angel, “Why is he here too?”

It looked confused again, and so did Dustin. Dustin looked actually quite hurt, much like Wayne did before, “You… you don’t want to see me?”

Eddie shook his head, “Of course I want to see you…” He looked back to the Angel, “Take him back.”

“Take him back?” The Angel asked.

“Both of them!” Eddie felt himself well up a little.

“Is he okay?” He heard a fourth voice whisper, and he looked over to see Scott whispering in Wayne's ear.

No! Not Mr. Clark too. Fuck, why was everyone dead?

“All of them.” Eddie demanded, “Make them all live again!”

“Eddie thinks he’s dead.” Wayne said simply, addressing Dustin and his partner, “He’s high on pain meds, and he thinks Steve is an Angel, and we're all dead here with him in the afterlife.”

Scott seemed to relax a little at that as he sat down next to Wayne, and Dustin slumped back into Eddie’s chest.

“Your name is Steve?” Eddie asked the Angel, “Did you steal his face, and his name?”

The Angel- well, Steve apparently - blushed and smiled a little bit, “I’m really sorry.”

Eddie sighed and pouted, “I suppose it is a nice way to settle me in.”

“Yeah?” Steve asked.

Eddie hummed, “So beautiful.”

Dustin made a strange sound, “Steve?”

“It’s not Steve.” Eddie pressed, and looked back at the Angel, “I’m very sorry, Angel. You are beautiful, but you don’t compare to my Stevie, so I cannot call you that.”

The Angel turned very red. Eddie hoped he didn’t make it too angry, but he just couldn’t replace his Steve like that.

“Your Stevie?” Dustin screeched.

Eddie felt his heart drop.

“He… he said that before I…” He swallowed. His head suddenly felt very clouded and if he wasn’t already dead, he’s sure this might just kill him, “Please tell me I didn’t make that up… I can’t have made that up. I- I need it to be real. For so long, I’ve… he… he said he sees- please tell me I didn’t make it up. Please tell me he called himself mine.”

He looked desperately to the Angel, because they were supposed to be these… be all, know all creatures. And Eddie was sure that if it didn’t know, it could just check in with God or something.

“Please tell me it’s true.” Eddie sobbed, his eyes pleading, he suddenly felt very tired again.

The Angel looked a little saddened as it looked at Eddie, still red in the cheeks. It smiled softly, it’s eyes darted over to Wayne and then it ducked its head, “N- no. You didn’t make it up, Eddie.” Oh, sweet heavens, literally. Eddie was okay now, “I- he… he really said that. Steve said he’ll be yours, as long as you’ll have him.”

Eddie smiled dreamily and sunk back into his pillows, “I’ll have him forever. I’ll wait for him. Can you tell him I’ll wait for him?” He looked between Dustin and his uncles, “When the Angel takes you back to earth, will you tell Steve I’ll wait for him? He can have a happy, long life without me, and when he gets really old and dies of old person things and comes here, I’ll be waiting.”

Wayne gave him a very soft smile, “I’m pretty sure he already knows, Ed-”

“Just promise.” Eddie said sternly, “He has to know that I love him.”

The Angel gasped and Eddie looked over to it.

“You-” It shook its pretty head, “Love?”

Eddie nodded, his eyes very droopy now, “Hey Dustin?”

“Yeah?” He responded, his voice a little drifty, like his head wasn’t fully in the game.

“Can you look after Stevie?”

“Yeah.” Dustin nodded and looked over to the Angel with a sweet smile that Eddie really loved, “Promise I’ll look after him.”

“Good- and- and you too. Look after yourself… too.” He closed his eyes and hummed.

“Okay.” Dustin whispered, “Hey, Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you just… one more time for us, tell us how pretty you think Steve is?”

Eddie heard a swatting sound, like someone just got smacked. He couldn’t help but smile, of course, every time Steve popped into his head he had to smile. He loved Steve. And Steve was so pretty. Prettier than a goddamned Angel, apparently.

“Oh, he’s so pretty.” Eddie giggled and pried opened his eyes, “Don’t you think?”

“I mean, I don’t think.” Dustin shrugged, “Max does-”

“What?” The Angel said.

“I dunno, it’s the chest hair.” Dustin said.

The Angel shrunk down into its seat with more blush in it’s cheeks.

“Why don’t you think?” Eddie gasped and looked at the Angel, “Look, is that not super pretty.”

“Erm…”

“But, make it less blurry, and a little bitchy, and then you’ll have Stevie.”

“Blurry?”

“It’s so blurry in here.” Eddie said, and then he giggled, “You look so fuzzy.”

“Bitchy?” The Angel asked, and crossed its legs with a little sass.

“Mhm.” Eddie nodded, “Bitchy- Wayne knows.”

“I do.” He grinned and nodded at the Angel, “Steve’s sassy.”

The Angel's eyes widened and it lowered his head, as if it was shy, “Is not.”

Eddie giggled again, “So bitchy.” He bit his lip just thinking about it. Every bitchy remark he’d heard get called in school. The bitchy remarks thrown his way in the last week of Eddie’s life. The little hand on the hips pose he’d pull when giving one of the freshmen a look of disapproval. So bitchy, “So hot.”

“Okay.” Dustin said quickly and shook his head, “Time for night night’s, Eddie.”

Eddie pouted.

“You’ll be able to see Steve when you wake up.”

Eddie immediately closed his eyes, and everyone laughed a little. He thought for a moment- he did not want another dead person in here. He opened his eyes again, and Dustin groaned.

“He can’t be dead too.”

Dustin made a strangled face.

“Like…” Scott leant forward to speak, “You’ll be able to look down and watch over him.”

Eddie relaxed instantly. He liked the idea of that very much. Hopefully he could help keep Steve out of trouble too. Guide him in the right direction.

“And you’ll re-alive all of them?” Eddie asked the Angel, pointing out at the three people in the room.

“Promise.” The Angel nodded once.

“Okay.” Eddie smiled and closed his eyes again, thankfully, he was so tired, “Night night.”

“Night night.” Wayne said with a little chuckle, and then Eddie was out.

When Eddie woke up again, the room was very dark. He rubbed his eyes and groaned. It was a good sleep, a very good sleep. He had a dull ache in his side, and an ache in his bones he supposed was from not moving in a while and sleeping on this rock of a mattress. He looked around and vaguely remembered waking up in a hospital room before, but he didn’t think it was a hospital room before.

He looked around to see Dustin weirdly splayed out on an armchair he was pretty sure Wayne occupied before, and then he found someone else sitting in a little chair on the other side of his bed. His face smushed down into the mattress by Eddie’s hips, his hand reached up over Eddie’s thigh and rested on his stomach- his fingers intertwined with Eddie’s own.

Oh god, it was Steve. Steve in his sweet yellow sweater, sleeping uncomfortably, half on Eddie’s bed, holding Eddie’s hand.

Why did he remember an Angel sitting in that same position?

He gently stroked his thumb over the back of Steve's warm hand that- ohhh, Eddie couldn’t believe he was holding. All his dreams were coming fucking true.

And not only that, but he lived. He lived and Steve was holding his hand.

Life was looking up for Eddie.

He dared to reach out and run his fingers through the soft hair on Steve's head, and it was even better than he’d imagined. Light and fluffy, silky and smooth, so soft. Eddie hoped Steve would let him do this forever. He played with Steve's hair as carefully as he could, trying to remain soothing so he wouldn’t wake.

But it was useless. Steve lifted his head and yawned and looked at Eddie, and all Eddie could do was freeze. He froze, one hand sitting in Steves, and the other sitting flat atop his head. They both blinked, once, twice, and then Steve was smiling.

“You’re awake.”

Eddie nodded.

“Your hand is on my head.”

“Sorry.” Eddie swallowed and pulled it back.

Steve laughed, “It’s okay, it felt nice.” He laid his head back down on the mattress, but this time he turned so he could face Eddie, “Keep doing it?”

Ah, this must be the universe apologising for all the fucked up shit that’s happened. Eddie ran his hand through Steve’s soft hair again.

“You still high?”

Eddie snickered, “Don’t think so.”

“Good.” Steve smiled, “Whilst that was really funny, it did bring up some awkward conversations.”

“Oh god…” Eddie swallowed, “What did I say?”

“Well, for one… you thought Wayne was dead and then you thought the same about Dustin and Mr. Clark- who, by the way, was a shock to see here.”

Eddie snickered, “Oh, yeah…well, you can understand why it’s not common knowledge that they’re together- you don’t have an issue-”

“No, god no.” Steve rolled his eyes, “Just… my middle school science teacher was the last person I expected to see waiting at your bedside, crying over you.”

Eddie’s heart swelled, “How long was I out for?”

“Three days.” Steve said with a sigh, “And then you passed out for another seven hours… Wayne and Scott have gone home to shower, they’ll be back in an hour or two.”

“Okay.” Eddie said quietly.

“You also thought I was an Angel.”

Ah.

“Right.”

“It was… amusing.” Steve smiled, “You kept asking me to make sure they’d all be resurrected.”

Eddie laughed softly, “And I see you’ve done your job well.”

“I take it very seriously.” Steve nodded.

“As you should.”

Steve gave Eddie a warm smile and closed his eyes for a moment. Eddie felt him squeeze his hand softly, like he just needed a moment to process it - Eddie, being alive and here right now, with Steve.

The thought of that gave Eddie butterflies.

Steve opened his eyes again, and Eddie had to take a moment to appreciate just how beautiful they were. The room was dark, but there was just enough moonlight being cast through the window (and glowing flashy things on Eddie’s heart rate monitor and everything all around him) to illuminate his soft features, and Eddie thought maybe that Angel was still in the room with him. Steve could very well be one, with beauty like that and a heart like his.

“What are you thinking about?” Steve whispered after a while.

Before Eddie even processed the question properly, his damn mouth was betraying him and speaking on its own accord, “You.”

“Ew.”

Eddie’s heart sank. Ew? Ew? Okay, Eddie could handle a little rejection, but he thought Steve might be a little more mature about it than that.

Only it wasn’t Steve that said that, was it?

“Get a goddamned room.” Dustin groaned and rubbed his eyes before flopping into another uncomfortable looking position.

“We have one.” Steve sat up, resting his elbow of the arm that held Eddie’s hand on the mattress and the other one gestured to the entire room, “You’re just in it.”

Dustin groaned and pulled the blanket up over his head, “Gross.”

“You’re gross.” Steve snapped back.

“Stop.”

“We were having a moment, Dustin.” Steve cocked his head at the boy, who was still hiding behind his blanket, “And you ruined it.”

“Stop having moments when there are fourteen year olds in the room then.”

“Sorry that Eddie woke up whilst you were in here. Not my fault.”

Eddie was enjoying this conversation very much. Watching on with a bright smile.

“It’s entirely your fault.” Dustin pulled the blanket back and deadpanned him.

“Listen here you little shit.” Steve whispered sternly and pointed a finger at him, “You either shut up and go back to sleep, or you go get a soda or something.”

“I’m tired.” Dustin whined.

“Sleep then.” Steve wabbled his head.

“You’re so annoying.”

Steve gave the kid the bitchiest smile he could muster, “Likewise.”

Dustin flipped him off, and Steve flipped him off right back.

Eddie looked at Steve dreamily and bit his lip.

“Oh ew.” Dustin said again and kicked his covers off, “Eddie, get a grip man.”

Eddie blinked and looked at Dustin a little confused, so did Steve.

“Steve, never be bitchy around Eddie again, look at him. This is repulsive.” Dustin muttered and grabbed his backpack off the floor, “I’m getting a soda.”

Steve snickered and winked at him, “Have fun.”

Dustin flipped him off again and left the room.

“What?” Eddie muttered.

“Apparently you like it when I’m bitchy.” Steve said simply, shuffling his chair a little closer to lay his head down again. However this time, rather than resting it on the mattress, he rested it on Eddie’s thigh.

Eddie turned bright fucking red and Steve giggled. How the fuck did he know that?

“You talk a lot when high.”

Eddie smiled shily, oh, “Ah, yeah… that’s… that’s something I’m working on.”

Steve laughed. They fell into a comfortable silence again, and Eddie rested his hand on the back of Steve's head and sifted his stiff fingers through Steve’s hair. He honestly couldn’t get enough of it. He tensed when he noticed that Steve had started to cry. He stopped his movements entirely, looking down at him as the tears started to fall from his pretty eyes.

“Don’t stop.” Steve sobbed, his voice so brittle and quiet, on the verge of breaking, “Please don’t stop.”

So Eddie didn’t. He tightened his grip on Steve's warm hand (which was a little clammy now, but so was his own) and continued to run his fingers through Steve's hair. Steve cried, but it wasn’t a broken cry, it didn’t twist his gut and make him hurt. It was soft, almost as delicate as a flower. Eddie felt a little strange for thinking this, but it was a pretty cry. Steve looked awfully pretty whilst crying right now. He switched between quietly sobbing with his eyes closed, leaning into Eddie’s thigh and soaking the blankets with his tears, to just looking at Eddie with a saddened smile, the tears still falling and his lip still trembling, but not as painful. He thought maybe Steve was fighting between emotions; finally letting himself feel all the pain they had to go through, and being so utterly grateful that they were alive, and here, together. And so Eddie kept stroking his hair, and offered Steve small smiles, and that’s all he could do, and that’s all that Steve needed.

He found it a little ironic, actually. Well, not ironic, more so just… bittersweet. When Eddie was bleeding out in Steve’s arms, Steve ran his fingers through Eddie’s hair to soothe him and it made him feel a little calmer. And now, here Steve was, crying to Eddie, looking more vulnerable than Eddie had ever seen him, and Eddie was stroking Steve's hair.

He thought it was a little poetic, in a messed up sort of way.

“Thank you.” Steve sobbed with a sort of sniffle that followed. He dragged their joint hands towards his face, and kissed Eddie’s knuckles that were a little roughed up and scarred, now that he looked at them, “Thank you.”

Eddie swallowed the lump in his throat, he had a feeling Steve wasn’t thanking him for stroking his hair.

“Of course, Stevie.” Eddie whispered.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” He squeezed Eddie’s hand.

“Me too, Sweetheart.” He fluffed Steve's hair, and Steve smiled, blooming pink again.

He sobbed into Eddie’s thigh again, and Eddie’s eyes suddenly felt very wet themselves.

“Come here.” He whispered, gently nudging Steve's shoulder.

Steve sat up - their hands very unfortunately disconnecting - and he wiped his cheeks with the sleeve of his sweater, “You sure?”

Eddie smiled and pet the spot on his bed beside him, and peeled back the covers, “Ah… don’t mind the hospital gown, promise I’m usually more decently dressed than this.”

Steve laughed wetly and climbed up onto the bed beside Eddie, and curled into his side, his head resting on Eddie’s chest, one of his legs hooked over Eddie’s. Eddie tucked the covers back up around their waists and put his arm around Steve, fighting off the pain that came with.

Steve took his hand again, and looked up at Eddie.

This would probably be the right time, if ever, for Eddie to lean down and kiss those pretty swollen lips of Steves. To hold him and tell him he loved him. To say everything and nothing at all. But a horrible feeling sunk deep in his chest told him not too. It ate away at him and told him Steve would never want that. It’s just the heat of the moment. Don’t be stupid, Eddie.

Eddie swallowed and laid back into his pillows, looking up at the roof. Steve sighed and settled in against him, his thumb now rubbing soft circles over the back of Eddie’s hand. Eddie sifted a hand through his hair again.

I love you, Eddie thought to himself, I love you with every bone in my body, and all the blood in my veins.

“Oh god.” Dustin groaned as he walked back into the room, “It’s gotten worse.”

Eddie couldn’t help but grin as the boy flopped down into his chair again.

“What’s your problem, Dustin?” Steve whispered, his voice still wet from crying, but he was doing his best to put on a brave face for the kid, “I thought you wanted me and Eddie to like eachother.”

“Yeah…” Dustin shook his head at them like this was an obvious fact, “But not this much.”

Eddie felt his cheeks blush.

“So, you wanted us to be humble acquaintances?” Eddie asked, his fingers playing with the hairs at the high of Steve's neck.

“No.” Dustin scoffed and sipped on his soda, “I wanted you to be friends… like, good friends.”

“Ah, we are good friends.” Steve said.

“No.” Dustin shook his head, “You’re like, in love with each other. I don’t need my two big brother figures being in love with each other, that’s gross.”

“You think of us like brothers?” Steve asked, a little in awe.

Eddie couldn’t help but feel the same, “Yeah, you think-”

“I shouldn’t have said that.” Dustin muttered.

Wait.

“Steve.”

Steve tensed, “Y… yeah?”

“Are you…” Eddie swallowed, “Are you in love with me?”

Steve furrowed his brow and looked up at Eddie, “Well…” He shrugged.

They could both feel Dustin glaring at them from over there.

“You- you want me?” Eddie’s breath caught in his throat.

“Yeah.” Steve said, as easy as breathing, “Do… you remember our conversation before you- before?”

That was real?

“Wait…” Dustin stood up, “You mean to tell me that you’re here, cuddled up in bed, and you think this is just… friends being friends?”

Eddie’s eyes widened and he felt himself blush a little more, “Is it not?”

“Have you not been making out in my absence?”

“Making out?” Eddie almost shouted.

“Ah, no.” Steve said, “Eddie just woke up from a coma, Dustin. As if I’m just going to have a heated makeout session with him about it!”

“Have you kissed?”

“Not yet!” Steve skwarked, “What did I just say?”

“Well, I’d assumed you’d have kissed him- Jesus… it’s just been Eddie this, Eddie that, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie for the past three and a half days Steve.” Dustin folded his arms over his chest and sassed him.

Steve deadpanned him, “Now you know how I feel.”

Dustin blushed and looked at Eddie, “I didn’t talk about him that much.”

“You realise the only reason I feel this way about Eddie is because you wouldn’t shut up about him- I know him better than I know you at this point, kid.”

Eddie swallowed, his heart was beating so fast. So fucking fast right now. Steve… Steve loved him? Steve wanted to kiss him? Steve has wanted this for longer than they’ve even properly known each other? Just… just like Eddie? Oh god, oh god, oh, god-

“Fine, but you can’t be all mushy and gross around me. Just… kiss your boyfriend, Steve!”

“I would if you weren’t standing here, telling me to kiss him- plus, I don’t think Eddie actually wants that?”

Huh.

Is Steve on drugs now?

Wait, boyfriend?

“What makes you say that- he litteraly professed his love to you whilst high, thinking you were so beautiful you had to be an Angel, Steven.”

“Don’t use my legal name.” Steve glared at him, “I say that, because… well, it’s none of your business, actually.”

“It is my business, since I’m the reason this is happening, apparently.”

“Can you just give me and my boyfriend some space, please?”

Boyfriend?

“Well-” Dustin stopped mid sentence, and looked dead at Eddie, “Ah… are you okay?”

Steve turned to him and gasped, “Oh, my god, Dustin, get a nurse- Eddie, Eddie what’s happening? Where does it hurt?”

“Boyfriend?” Is what Eddie squeaked out, his heartbeat thudding so loudly in his ears he could barely hear the heart rate monitor's rapid beeping sound.

“Wh- that…. Are you…” Steve sat up, frantically checking over Eddie, “Dustin, get. the. nurse.”

Eddie could only stare at Steve, “You love me?”

“Not important- Dustin!”

“He’s fine, Steve!” Dustin shouted, “Look at him.”

“He's gonna have a heart attack or something!” Steve was on edge.

“No.” Dustin laughed, “Oh my god, you’re such a loser, Eddie.”

Eddie opened and closed his mouth a few times.

“Dustin-”

“He’s fine.” Dustin sighed and grabbed his backpack, “I’m going to visit Max.” He walked for the door, and Steve was about to lose his shit, “Just kiss him, man.”

Steve looked back at Eddie as the door swung shut, and Eddie just started nodding his head aggressively.

“You- are…”

Eddie reached forward to grab Steve's hands and pull him closer, “You love me?”

Steve’s eyes widened and he sat back on his heels, thinking for a second, “Well… well, yeah?”

“I’m your boyfriend?”

Steve kinda smiled, “Yes?”

“Ohmygod.” Eddie muttered, “Ohmygod.”

Steve's shoulders relaxed, “You didn’t know?”

Eddie shook his head, his heart rate slowing slightly but it was still beating faster than normal.

Steve sighed and slouched back into Eddie’s side, cuddled up against the pillows again, “Do you want me to kiss you?”

Eddie nodded rapidly, “You want that?”

“Of course I do, baby.” Steve smiled and brushed some of Eddie’s hair out of his face and behind his ear, “Do you?”

“Of course.” Eddie muttered, too nervous to move closer, “O-of course.”

“Okay.” Steve laughed softly, “I can kiss you.”

“And… it wasn’t a dream?” Eddie asked, his voice a little quiet as Steve moved closer, his heart rate spiking again, “You- you’re really mine?”

“As long as you’ll have me, Ed’s.”

“Oh.” Eddie melted, and Steve finally kissed him.

It was the best kiss that Eddie had ever had.

It was one of the best things in Eddie’s entire life.

Eddie would have Steve forever and longer, for as long as he could.

read Day Four here

\/ a dodgy art piece for this one \/

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hopepetal · 5 months

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hi bera its an evil day if i trapped you in a wee bird cage and said the only way you can be free is if you kill off one of the main 5 knights who would you abolish

Hi Clo!

Picture this: you are the sole ruler of a vast and wealthy kingdom. For years, you have watched over your people from afar, keeping a mysterious and aloof persona. You care deeply for your kingdom and its inhabitants, but do not show this to those outside of your innermost circle.

You are a peace-loving ruler. Keeping neutrality throughout the years has paid off, as have striking up trade deals and agreements with the other strong kingdoms. Of course, credit where credit is due- your kingdom's vast wealth and power tend to scare away any potential aggressors.

You try your best. And for a while, it's good enough. It's wonderful, even! Your people are happy, your kingdom is thriving, and the gods are pleased. But eternal happiness is a hollow promise, and nothing gold can stay.

War comes for your kingdom, and it is brutal. You stain your hands with the blood of thousands, and the weight of a thousand griefs rest heavily on your shoulders. Your crown could be made out of thorns, for the pain it brings you when it adorns your head.

Your kingdom is victorious, at a price. Always at a price. Peace is forged in death, written in blood, and sealed with grief. You are not the same after the war, and loneliness sings her song in your once bustling castle halls.

You become cold and cruel. Your quiet kindness is forgotten as your gaze turns to ice and steel. You care less and less for your kingdom- they'll all die, anyway. No use in shedding tears for them.

You live. Long, longer still. Too many years have passed, but Death seems content to keep you waiting. You've grown bitter, so much so that it taints every taste. Your kingdom falls into ruin. You are ousted. You still live.

Surely, this is what brings you to ask me this question. For I cannot imagine any other reason to bring such cruelty down upon a creator who cares so deeply for his creations that they are practically extensions of his very being.

...the answer is Scar, by the way. He gets killed by Grian.

#answered ask #boatem knights au #(not really this isn't canon)#but it's funny #knights of the angst table

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feroluce · 2 months

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Thinking tonight about Caelus, and the nature of his loss and his grief after the Everything that went down in Penacony during 2.0.

Because Acheron, Black Swan, and Misha kind of knew of Firefly, they at least met her, but they didn't like really know her, and Caelus never even got the chance to introduce her to the rest of the Astral Express Crew. The only person who would have talked to her much was Sparkle, who is. Probably not really someone Caelus is interested in grieving with skznmsks

Anyway, all this to say, I like thinking about how alone poor Caelus is in his grief, because he was the only one who knew Firefly. He's the only one really mourning her. There's no one to talk about her with. There's no stories to trade or memories to reminisce with anyone over. It's not as though he knew her for long, but still. No one else knew her at all.

And I love the thought of all of this coming bubbling up, hot and acidic and bitter, during a conversation with Sampo, who Caelus just so happens to run into in the Golden Hour. Poor Sampo is kinda blindsided, he knew shit was going down in Penacony, but yeesh. And he just. Isn't quite sure what to say about it all, because he's never really encountered this before. His feelings about the Masked Fools are...a mixed bag, but he's been a part of them for a very long time, and when you're with a close organization like that, it's hard to feel alone, in grief or otherwise.

So Sampo sits there on their little bench that the two of them have occupied, and he thinks of his old friend April, how she'd died in his arms cackling and spitting her own blood after a heist gone wrong, and how after he'd dragged himself back to the World's End Tavern they'd all held a Fool's Funeral- which is basically just a big party where everyone gets really really drunk and reminisces and toasts the dead and celebrates their life.

He still thinks about her a lot, and he remembers how the time he'd most keenly felt her absence was on Jarilo-VI, the one place where he couldn't talk about her because he couldn't say anything to give himself away as an alien. The Fools still tell stories about her every time he goes back to the Tavern. His first toast of the night is always in her name. Even now, all these years after she'd died, Sampo is still learning new things about her. He's never had to grieve her alone.

Caelus doesn't have any of that.

He might never have that. As they speak, Caelus has no proof that Firefly was even her real name, or if she dreamt with her true appearance. He might not ever find out who she even was.

And just imagining that kind of loneliness hollows out a strange little pit, right behind his sternum, deep between his ribs.

So Sampo claps Caelus' shoulder and offers him a deal. Come find him outside of the dream. He knows a guy who can get them a lot of beer for really cheap-

("Is that guy you and your five finger discounts?" "Whatever do you mean, dear friend, I don't even know the meaning of the phrase, hehee.")

-and they can hole up in a bar or a hotel room or something, and get completely shitcanned. Tell him all about Firefly, tell him everything, and he'll tell Caelus about April and everyone else he's ever lost. Sampo will carry Caelus' memories of Firefly with him, and at least this way, Caelus will be a little less alone in remembering her. And the next time they cross paths, Sampo will be the one to bring her up, and to tell her stories, and Caelus can get to be the one listening. He won't have to be the only person to talk about her anymore.

Caelus rolls his eyes when Sampo avoids another remark about sticky fingers, but...ok, yeah. That sounds good. Nice, even. Thank you. Caelus bumps his shoulder against Sampo's. Sampo bumps back.

(They find each other again the next day, and true to their word, get themselves completely and utterly shitcanned. Caelus talks more than Sampo has ever heard him; every minute detail, every word choice, Firefly's every odd little mannerism and habit. Because Caelus wants to make sure this will outlive him, that even if the Stellaron dwelling within him finally burns him to a crisp and he really does up and kick the bucket, or even, godforbid, if he forgets, he wants to make sure someone remembers her. She deserved that.)

((And it takes quite a while, after that. Caelus doesn't see Sampo again until after everything has settled down. On his last day in Penacony, he finds the guy slinking out of a seedy back alley and all but runs right into him. Sampo happily leads him to some dive bar in an even seedier back alley that Caelus has never even heard of, and Sampo raises his glass. "To Firefly! Who sounds like she probably would have hated me at first, but I would have liked to have met her anyway."

And Caelus stares at him, almost looking startled, long enough that Sampo worries that he's read him wrong and brought this up too soon. He's halfway into planning how to talk himself out of this situation when Caelus finally throws back his head back and laughs, tells him that yeah, Firefly would have politely called him out on every lie he told, and all their conversations would take twice as long with the way Sampo is so full of shit.

And he can see it, the same way he watches and sees through everyone, that Caelus' eyes have a tightness to them, his knuckles are nearly white around the handle of his mug. But he smiles. He hits his glass against Sampo's far too hard and throws it back and gets foam everywhere like he does every time they drink because the guy's about as elegant as a raging bull, but those things don't lessen the genuineness of his smile.

The grief is there, but so is the elation, and those emotions aren't a sliding scale between one or the other. It is all of both and both at once, and that's what contents Sampo enough to throw his own mug back when Caelus makes a toast of his own, "to April!!".))

#caelus #sampo koski #hsr caelus #hsr sampo #sampo & caelus #sampril #honkai star rail #hsr #my fics #me a few days ago: my favorite silly little guys uwu #me today: ANGST #honestly I feel like this isn't even a super strong angst though #it's more just. bittersweet? melancholic? something.#I JUST. REALLY LOVE STORIES ABOUT THE NATURE OF GRIEF #and 2.0 laid the groundwork for that beautifully woohoo #I just remembered this probably isn't common knowledge oops but April is the cute red haired girl in Funny Bone #her name was revealed by the creators on twitter. she's named April like April Fools!#anyway I ship it hardcore now thanks bucket boi & studio #but anyway yes I love and adore the loneliness of the trailblazer's loss and grief after 2.0 #because we know from Sunday that Firefly is “spiritually dead” but the trailblazer wouldn't have that knowledge #and they wouldn't know her identity or about any of her connections to other people #and I love that juxtaposed against Sampo and the possible strange nature of his own grief-#-given how the Masked Fools operate and how they see Elation in everything and everywhere #Sampo is no saint- like at all lol- but I do like him and Caelus getting along and being bros #and I don't think it would be terribly ooc for him to care about someone he sees as a genuine friend #he maybe rarely considers someone a genuine friend. but still dmxjjdjdk #listening to Sam's boss theme as I tag this... have been listening to it a lot ever since I finished 2.0 tbh #it's probably what inspired a lot of this haha #because it does sound strong and intimidating and imposing #but you can hear it

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can-i-see-your-passport-please · 11 months

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I find it soooo fucking funny when people say HLVRAI is only sillies with absolutely no angst, it's JUST jokes and there has NEVER been ANY angst, and then they get mad at people for writing angst because it's a "funny gmod series."

Like even aside from the fact that if it's handled well and with care, dark topics can be discussed, it's just. Oh you mean the funny Gmod series where the tutorial character found out he's just an AI and was so broken and horrified by the realization that he wanted to wear the protagonist's skin like a meatsuit to escape? The funny Gmod series where the main character canonically has PTSD and maybe psychosis and got betrayed, amputated, and almost killed by his friends and talked about how he was just feeling complete despair over it? The funny Gmod series where the protagonist tries to kill himself on screen multiple times and expresses suicidal thoughts several times? THAT funny Gmod series?

#tw suicide #suicide #it's so stupid jdnsjfnjdsnnjsdfknjsnj #girl in what world is hlvrai ONLY and ENTIRELY a ''funny gmod series''#like. it IS a funny gmod series! but don't pretend it's JUST funny gmod series #because it isn't. how the fuck can you look at dr coomer's arc or gordon's whole cocktail of trauma and mental illness and allll of that #and conclude that it's JUST a funny gmod series #it is funny and a gmod series. but that's not ALL it is.#ask to tag #god it's soooo funny when people get mad at angst in hlvrai fics GIRL CANON HLVRAI HAS ANGST IN IT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT #CANON HLVRAI HAS AN EXPLICITLY SUICIDAL MAIN CHARACTER #NOT EVEN SUBTEXTUALLY EXPLICITLY HE ATTEMPTS SUICIDE LIKE THREE TIMES #if you wanna focus on the sillies in hlvrai that's okay #and if you wanna avoid the angst in hlvrai that's also okay #filter out the angst and enjoy your sillies #but like #don't be surprised when people start making angst out of a series that had a fair amount of angst fkndskjfnds #seriously did these guys not watch act 3?????#suicide tw #not maintagging this since i am above that and also suicide discussed but.#cassie rambles #proshippers dni #just in case since even though this shit isn't black and white proshippers could claim me as their own for saying you can explore dark shit #dude the problem is you guys romanticize and fetishize it :/ if you wanna explore dark shit fine by me just don't act like it's a good thin #but i'm not getting into thattt

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