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the-odd-job · 3 years

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Close Your Eyes to This Disaster Chapter 5: What Have I Done?

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Chose Not to Use, Rape/Non-Con Category: Other Fandom: Transformers G1 Relationships: Megatron/Sunstreaker, Megatron/Sideswipe, Sideswipe & Sunstreaker Characters: Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Ratchet, Prowl, Optimus, Ironhide, Jazz Additional Tags: Dubcon, Sticky, Abusive Relationships, Mind Games, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Canon-Typical Violence Words: 4118

( Previous )

They didn’t contact the Ark after Soundwave lifted the jam over their communications systems. What were they supposed to say? They had no idea. Maybe they would know once things weren’t so fresh, but as things stood…

So, instead of letting a single spark know about what had happened, they sat side by side on the open field for the better part of an hour, going through their newly reacquired memory files, and Sunstreaker staring at the trickle of fluids seeping from his valve. They dried slowly.

He needed a wash. Especially after getting ‘faced on the dirty ground–

…He needed a wash.

Instead they sat in silence, trying to just make sense of this turn of events. They couldn’t change the past even if the memories made it difficult to understand why their relationship with Megatron had even been a thing–

But he was one to talk when even the present him hadn’t done what he was supposed to do, what the smart thing would’ve been.

He’d slagging… Fragged the mech. Or gotten fragged by him—technicalities when the truth was that he hadn’t… Disliked it. His spark was still abuzz with all manner of emotions that weren’t even supposed to exist, but that grew more undeniable the longer he looked at them. He wasn’t ready to call the mess love, but it wasn’t… Inconsequential. There was affection.

Why was there affection?

What was wrong with him?

They came no closer to answers no matter how long they sat there and eventually Sideswipe roused them with a quiet, “Should head back. They’ll want to… Want to know what happened.”

Back to the Ark, looking as they did—like something had happened. They had answers to some of the command’s questions now, at least, and they would need to… Report all of this. Somehow.

Though maybe without going into his personal crisis. How much detail they would give outside of that they could decide on later, once the time came.

Sunstreaker nodded and after he’d transformed his modesty panel back in place, they cleaned away the evidence of his little frag session before returning to the road. They were a little past the midway point of their patrol so they didn’t turn around, but rather continued onward after some… Extremely painful transformations. Sunstreaker especially.

At least they could still transform and drive, though, despite the damage they’d taken. Their ability to drag their own afts back meant they didn’t need to contact the Ark just yet. Or, ever. They kept their comms off the whole way back to the Autobot base, content to live in ignorance and not know if someone was trying to contact them. With the speeds they had traveled the first portion of the patrol route, they weren’t going to be late even with the… Delay, or the fact they weren’t driving their usual speeds on their way back—both because they were both in varying amounts of pain, and because they weren’t looking forward to whatever might happen upon their return.

Mostly because of the latter.

But they couldn’t dawdle forever and ever, and slowly but steadily their distance to the Ark decreased until they were driving over the desert surrounding the ship. Closer and closer, to the point they made visual contact with the mostly buried vessel—and the lone figure silhouetted against the light coming from the open entrance.

It turned out to be Prowl, his wings held stiffly behind him as they approached–

But they fanned in surprise when the Ark’s light touched the brothers and mercilessly revealed their less than stellar condition. Sunstreaker grit his denta through his transformation back to his bipedal mode as parts scraped against each other in ways they definitely weren’t meant to, torn plating screeching as it was forcefully shifted into its other configuration.

He met Prowl’s optics with challenge in his own, daring the damn mech to say something about the state of their frames.

Prowl didn’t comment on it though. “Ratchet,” was the only word he spoke. He needn’t say more than that, anyway. They needed repairs and when the SIC stepped aside to let them past him, the twins didn’t do more than head inside—without so much as an impish comment from Sideswipe.

He could just see Prowl’s frown from the corner of his optic before they’d passed him.

They were leaving drips of energon and who knew what else behind them as they walked the halls towards the medbay, but they were on their own pedes and moving under their own power. That was good enough. Luckily for them, they saw no one else before they’d reached the medbay doors that parted with a hiss. Ratchet was already waiting for them, arms across his chassis and face stern. Prowl had probably let him know he could expect visitors.

The medic had one look at them, his expression tightening all the more from what he saw. “Megatron?” he asked even as he ushered the brothers to medical berths, ready to triage their injuries.

“Yeah,” Sideswipe confirmed. They laid down and… Said nothing more.

Ratchet filled the silence, anyway. “Didn’t I slagging tell you to not come back to my bay because of him?” he growled at them, thoroughly scanning them both before he focused on Sunstreaker, likely because his injuries were slightly more severe. Megatron knew how to hurt.

And yet, it could’ve been so much worse, damage wise. He could’ve been dead.

“You were kept from longer patrols for a reason,” Ratchet continued, removing and transforming pieces of Sunstreaker’s plating away to take a look underneath with surprising caution. The fact he wasn’t even half as rough as he usually was said a lot.

Indeed, everyone knew he could’ve died. That he, frankly, should be dead after something like that.

“No one wanted to risk Megatron succeeding in whatever he wanted to do with you, for your own damn good—but no, you cannot possibly listen. Did you even think? You knew he was gunning for you, but off you were anyway! Oh, and Cliffjumper and Brawn are in hot water too because of you, not that I expect you to care.”

Sunstreaker stared at the ceiling and let Ratchet do his thing and say his piece. The medic quieted suspiciously once he started on the damage on his chest, transforming his armor aside, then his protoform too when the damage ran deeper than he expected. He didn’t really react, but Sunstreaker still knew the exact moment Ratchet came by the damage to his spark chamber. He made sure it wasn’t about to off him—it wasn’t—then… Placed his servos on the berth next to Sunstreaker’s frame and leaning onto them—looking at him, searching his face.

Sunstreaker reluctantly met his optics. “Twins,” Ratchet said, too quietly to go well with his usual demeanor.

But then, this wasn’t his usual demeanor. “What happened?”

The big question.

Sunstreaker’s gaze shifted back to the ceiling. They tried to think of what to say, how to start—because there was the what, but more important felt the why. Besides, he wasn’t too eager to talk about the fragging. It wasn’t necessarily damning depending on his own response to it, but… That was the problem. Why it wouldn’t be damning.

Yeah, he didn’t really want to go there. He still had his pride.

But that was only what he wouldn’t say. What would he say?

He reset his vocalizer several times in indecision—almost said one thing, then decided against it. Almost said another thing, but on the last second decided against that too. Ratchet didn’t rush him, surprisingly.

They gave up on finding the perfect words, eventually, and just spoke. “Did you know I was Megatron’s lover?”

That didn’t look to be what Ratchet had been expecting, if the way his optical ridges shot up and he leaned back was anything to go by. Sunstreaker couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t what they had been expecting, either.

“What? When?” the medic asked after he’d recovered some, leaning back in. Sunstreaker didn’t meet his optics this time, just stared at the bright orange ceiling, counting the scratches he already knew by spark.

But he answered. “In the Pits.” It wasn’t a secret they had been Pit fighters. It was part of their reputation even if… Even if they hadn’t actually remembered it. Weird as that detail was, it had always been undeniable that their fighting style screamed gladiator. The war had further refined their skills, but anyone who knew their shit couldn’t claim it wasn’t clear as day that they had gotten their education in the Pits. What had claimed their conscious memories hadn’t done so to the subconscious, background ones. Something had been left behind in that near total wipe.

A wipe that wasn’t as permanent as they had always thought. “Ratchet?” Sideswipe spoke up, prompting the medic to glance over his shoulder at him. “Did you know part of my memories were locked away?”

Again Ratchet looked surprised, but then nodded, carefully. “Yes. It’s in your restricted medical files and I’ve looked at them myself.”

The twins frowned. “Why did you never tell me they weren’t completely gone?” Sideswipe asked.

Ratchet frowned too. “You had already spent most of the war without them and didn’t seem to be adversely affected by their absence. Depending on what they contained… You could have had an adverse reaction—that could have distracted you to the point you wouldn’t function at your best anymore.”

And were possibly killed as a result, they could conclude that much without Ratchet stating it directly. Their best had kept them alive. If they didn’t have that anymore?

“You should have still given me the choice,” Sideswipe said with half a growl. Primus, why was everyone, anyone, every time, anytime, always so eager to take their choice from them? They could’ve gone without that being the repeating theme in their damned life.

Ratchet was quiet for a moment, then nodded slowly. “I’m sorry I didn’t. I should have given you the option to remember, despite the potential cost.”

His field flared, confirming the apology was genuine, that the words were sincere.

But Ratchet was only one in a long line of medics they had had poking around in their systems. Any one of them could have offered them their memories back.

No one had. And despite this one matter… Ratchet was still the best they’d had.

Their number one medic cleared his vocalizer, glancing between them. “Did something happen to those memories? Can you access them now, somehow?”

Both twins nodded. “It’s what Megatron wanted,” Sunstreaker was the one to answer out loud. “For me to… To remember him. Soundwave restored them.”

“You put up a fight, first,” Ratchet said the most obvious observation in the world, looking back at Sunstreaker’s frame. His optical ridges drew down very low. “He didn’t offer, did he?”

They snorted. “One guess,” Sideswipe said, and just that was enough to turn Ratchet’s mouth into a thin line. By the common estimate it wasn’t really Megatron’s style to ask before he did what he wanted to do. As much as they now knew about some other sides the warlord also had… The basics were still the same.

But there was also… “Ratch, did you know what was in those memories?”

Ratchet shook his helm. “No. They were inaccessible even with a cipher without the patch I assume you got. If I had known…”

He trailed off, but they could assume there were several ways that could’ve potentially gone down. Maybe it would’ve been reason to give them the memories, or it could’ve been a reason to intentionally withhold them; maybe it would’ve made them suspect or seen as risk factors for the nature of the relations they’d had.

Maybe it could’ve been something else.

“Do you remember all of it, now?” Ratchet asked.

They nodded. “Far as I can tell, yeah. At least it’s all on a timeline that actually makes sense. What… Why did we even lose those memories? Did it have something to do with the slave coding?”

Ratchet straightened, displeasure written on his face and in his field likely due to the mention of the coding—but he didn’t look surprised. That was really answer enough. “Yes. Your record says that the removal of the slave coding from your systems corrupted the memory of the entire time you had the coding. The medic that performed the operation didn’t even try to restore them.”

And no one after that had done so either, not even Ratchet, but that was where it had all begun. They frowned. “Why not?”

“According to his written explanation, he ‘didn’t see it necessary’,” Ratchet said with air quotes, “and that ‘the memories could be traumatic’, so ‘patients are likely better off without them’. Mind you, he had no immediate way to restore them, anyway, so I expect getting you in fighting condition and on the field as soon as possible also played a role. The fix was only discovered later.”

Ah, priorities. Sunstreaker growled to himself. “Waste of time to make sure some gladiators have their memories, huh?”

“Apparently. And I fell into the same hole without thinking—again, I apologize for that. Megatron shouldn’t have needed to step in for you to get them back.”

It was probably too late to slag that original medic. Most of their species was straight up dead and chances were he was among those numbers, rather than in the ranks of the few hundred still living.

But oh how satisfying it would have been to give him a painful piece of their mind. True, their lack of memories hadn’t bothered them or come with any unfortunate side effects that they knew of, but those were their fragging memories. They had a right to them!

“I agree.”

It was only after Ratchet spoke that they realized Sideswipe had ranted out loud. His mouth snapped shut on that stroke of self-awareness, but at least they hadn’t divulged anything important in their distraction.

Their medic sighed and scanned Sunstreaker’s frame again, as if he didn’t already have all the readings. “If you’ll let me, I’ll have a look that the memory patch is working as it should, and after you’re repaired, the command would like to have a meeting with you to sort this mess out. Are you alright with that?”

About what they expected. The twins nodded their agreement and Ratchet got to work.

——————————————————

Soundwave had done a perfectly good job with the restoration of their memories, it turned out. The physical damage to their frames took some hours to repair, but by the end of it they were good as new. Sunstreaker’s spark chamber was back to having no torn holes left by a former love’s claws, his chest armor back on the task of protecting it, cut energon lines put together—so on and so forth to all of the injuries they had acquired. They’d need to do some repainting as soon as possible, but first… The command wanted to hear what had happened.

That landed the twins at the table of the meeting room usually only the command used, instead of their quarters doing far more important things. Sunstreaker was frowning down at the bare grey piece on his thigh, sour in mood for several reasons by now. That was one of them, and fraggit, it was one he could’ve done something about if it wasn’t for the impatience of others.

But no. Couldn’t have that.

“Twins. Could you start from the beginning?” Optimus requested. “We would like to understand Megatron’s interest in you.”

Sideswipe, at least, was looking at the members of the command that had gathered just to listen to them—Optimus, Prowl, Jazz, Ironhide, Ratchet, Wheeljack. Red Alert wasn’t invited for some obvious reasons. He’d probably glitch just at reading the report of this… Pits, they weren’t looking forward to dealing with the accusations that would follow.

“Beginning beginning?” Sideswipe asked to make sure, but they didn’t wait for an answer before Sunstreaker had already begun to speak.

They wanted from the beginning, they would get from the beginning.

Sans all the detail. He was not going to go too deep into his private life for them. “I met Megatronus in the Pits and we became… Lovers. We stayed that way for several vorns, until the start of the war. However, I was a slave and my frames slave coded, and on removing the coding when joining the Autobots, all of the memories of the duration of having the slave coding got messed up and out of my reach. That’s what Ratchet says, anyway. I’m not a medic.”

Sunstreaker didn’t lift his gaze, but Sideswipe saw Ratchet nod at the questioning looks he got. That confirmed, Sunstreaker continued, “So, I didn’t remember any of that—my time in the Pits, what Megatron was to me—for the entirety of the war. I also never ran into him during the war, up until the Exodus and ending up on Earth. Looks like he hadn’t really let go of me, though.”

“He was trying to make contact with you?” Prowl frowned. Sunstreaker shrugged. That seemed like the sensible answer, didn’t it?

“And you didn’t remember him so you had no idea he might even want to do that,” Jazz surmised. “Looks like buckethead decided to just corner you when you wouldn’t talk to him willingly.”

“Looks like it,” Sideswipe sighed.

“What did Megatron do, exactly?” Optimus asked, all gentle and careful as if these might be some unpleasant memories for the twins and he didn’t want to upset them. Sunstreaker looked up enough to direct his frown at him. The Prime, of course, looked as earnest as ever.

“Soundwave occupied Sideswipe,” Sunstreaker nevertheless started, as much as there wasn’t much to tell—not much he wanted to tell. “Megatron fought me into a standstill, and when I didn’t recognize him, he had Soundwave restore our missing memories.”

And that was all he wanted to say about that, so that was all he said.

It didn’t satisfy the command, though.

“That was all?” Prowl asked, sounding a little skeptical. “He didn’t want anything else? He didn’t say anything?”

Sunstreaker revved a tune of annoyance and let his helm fall back to stare at the ceiling instead of anyone else. Sideswipe dropped his gaze onto the table, but everyone would be able to tell they were lying if they said that was all. Megatron coming along, returning their memories to them, and buggering off right after just didn’t make much sense, did it? He had to tell them something.

Primus damn it all, but Sunstreaker bit the bullet in the most vague way he could. “He talked about how he’s missed me; apparently he thinks there’s still something between us. Told me not to forget him again, then left.”

There was quiet as everyone digested those news. Jazz was the first one to speak. “That’s how he feels about you, if he was speakin’ the truth. How do you feel about him?”

Right. Did Sunstreaker still love Megatron? Was he going to run right back to his former lover’s arms to continue where they left off?

He lifted an arm to run a servo down his face. What a fragging mess… No, he wasn’t about to run back to anyone, but his feelings? He wasn’t as sure about his feelings. They weren’t listening to sense very much.

“He was never the easiest mech to be with,” he eventually landed on saying, dropping his arm and tipping his helm back forward to stare at the opposite wall past everyone looking at him. “What I remember makes a damn big part of me wonder why the pit I was with him in the first place. ‘Sides, he made a piss poor reintroduction.”

From the corner of his vision he could see Jazz’s visor flashing just a bit. The TIC could probably read between the lines that he wasn’t just referring to the fight, but blessedly, he didn’t say anything. The others didn’t look surprised in the slightest. Wasn’t it so easy to imagine it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows with a mech like Megatron? Because it wasn’t. It really wasn’t.

And yet…

But they didn’t need to know about the and yet. He was going to sort himself out without bringing his loyalties into further question, thank you.

“How do you go from being that bastard’s lovers to becoming Autobots?” Ironhide wanted to know. Sunstreaker glanced at him, offering the weapons specialist a shrug.

“We were slaves. That doesn’t always leave you with an overabundance of options.”

“Twins,” the Prime said almost immediately, sounding damn concerned all of a sudden—not that he hadn’t been concerned for this whole duration, being the caring sort— “Did you join the Autobots willingly?”

Oh boy, Optimus wasn’t going to like the answer. Sunstreaker met his optics head on and said it as it was: “Not everyone had the privilege of choice.”

Their grand leader looked downright distraught at that, but Prowl took the turn to speak. “If Megatron still has an interest in you, we can expect he’ll try to get you to his side–“ an assessment Sunstreaker didn’t exactly disagree with, “–but the real question is your response to such attempts.”

Sunstreaker nodded his understanding, and the SIC continued by asking, “What would you like to do about this?”

Everyone’s attention was squarely on him. Sunstreaker gushed a heavy round of air from his vents. “I’d prefer things didn’t change,” he said to even partially alleviate the obvious concerns of where his loyalties would go from here—and he wasn’t lying, either. “I’ve gone the entire war fighting for the Autobots and felt perfectly content that way. This isn’t swaying my thoughts on that.”

“Kid,” Ironhide said, a little carefully, “If you’d gotten the choice in the whole thing… Would you have joined the Autobots?”

Sunstreaker huffed–

But couldn’t pretend to find that funny for more than a handful of seconds before he sighed. “I wasn’t in the… Mindset. Something drastic would have needed to happen for me to make that choice for myself.”

Again there was silence as the command considered that answer. Then Optimus’ attention turned to Sunstreaker’s twin instead. “Sideswipe, what is your take on all of this?”

The brothers frowned, but Sideswipe didn’t waste much time jerking his thumb at Sunstreaker. “What Sunny says.”

It didn’t seem to be the answer the Prime was looking for based on his own frown, but it was all the answer he was going to get. He didn’t push further, either, though that may have just been because he didn’t have the time before Ironhide was voicing another question. “How’d the slagger even know how to set yer memories right?”

Sunstreaker shrugged, but Ratchet answered, “It’s in their restricted medical files. If someone got their hands on those, they’d know the cause, the state, and the fix.”

Prowl joined in on all those already frowning. “So we may have had a security breach.”

“Seems likely,” Ratchet agreed.

“Gotta give to ‘im, he was determined to have you remember again,” Jazz commented. “Figuring out you’d lost your memories, gettin’ the reason and the remedy, cornerin’ you to rectify the situation… This can’t be all he wants.”

“Agreed,” Prowl said, looking between the brothers. “No doubt he will have further intent for you—and he may not ask for you agreement for any of it.”

“I’m aware,” Sunstreaker growled. “Doesn’t mean I’m just going to slagging roll over and let him have his way.”

Except hadn’t he already done that? Hadn’t Megatron only needed to speak select words and touch him right for him to let the fragger get what he wanted?

But ‘facing was one thing. Whatever else Megatron was after… That was another. He would be more prepared next time, too.

It wouldn’t happen again.

He earned several nods for his words. “We will work around this,” Optimus promised. “Megatron will not be given a chance to do what he wills with you.”

“Does that mean I’ll still be kept from going far from the Ark?” Sideswipe asked, reflecting the twins’ unhappiness with the idea.

“Do you not agree it’s for the best?” Prowl asked in return, one of his optical ridges rising. “Or would you rather this event repeat itself?”

“…Point taken,” Sideswipe muttered to that, far from thrilled with that, but… Did they really want to run into Megatron again?

“Let us know if something happens despite our precautions,” Optimus said. They nodded their understanding and the Prime continued, “Dismissed. Go get some rest.”

( Next )

#transformers #maccadam #maccadams #sideswipe #sunstreaker #jazz #prowl #ironhide #ratchet #optimus #fic #2021 #disaster

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the-delta-42 · 3 years

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Liberation

Optimus fired several shots into a Vehicon Flier, the Decepticon crashing to the ground. Mirage looked through the scope on his rifle, taking out Decepticons, while also counting off where the Decepticon heavy hitters were. He’d already counted off Dreadwing, Soundwave and Knockout.

Ironhide shifted himself carefully, as not to knock Adrien off his shoulder. Marinette was riding with Ultra Magnus, the two taking the situation seriously, as in more serious than Cosmic Rust. Jetfire and Trion transformed and landed in front of Optimus.

“Wheeljack’s cloak worked like a charm,” Said Jetfire, his battle mask and visor retracting, “The Decepticons didn’t see us observing them.”

“Not even Soundwave noticed us.” Said Trion, as Konton stopped beside him.

“I think Soundwave’s got bigger problems right now.” Said Mirage, before chucking his scope down to Optimus, “Correct me if I’m wrong, but that looks like Blaster.”

“Blaster?” Asked Marinette, from Magnus’s shoulder, “Who’s that?”

“Blaster was our Chief of Communications back on Cybertron,” Said Cliffjumper, as Arcee frowned, “The last anyone heard, he’d vanished at Tyger Pax, after Soundwave activated a Space Bridge inside the base, making it collapse in on itself.”

“How many other Autobots are there?” Asked Sideswipe, frowning.

“I’ve spotted Jolt and Mudflap,” Said Mirage, “So, Skids isn’t far behind, I think I saw Sunstreaker, but I couldn’t really tell.”

Marinette frowned, “How many Autobots were with Blaster when that base went down?”

“Seven or eight, give or take.” Said Mirage, waving his hand.

“We will need to contact Blaster, have him pull his forces away from the Decepticons so that we can all regroup.” Said Optimus, advancing further into the ruined city.

“Already on it,” Said Jazz, looking down at his wrist, “Blaster will meet use next to the Louvre, it’s one of the places that the Decepticons are ignoring.”

“Once we have regrouped and planned our next course of action, you and Adrien will become necessary to taking down Megatron.” Said Optimus, looking at Marinette.

“That’s if he decides to make an appearance.” Said Marinette, as Ultra Magnus frowned.

“Megatron has always prided himself as a leader who’s led by example, he will be in the battlefield.” Said Ultra Magnus, as Wheeljack scowled.

“It’d be best if you and Adrien remain with Magnus and Ironhide.” Said Optimus, before looking at the city again, “There is less chance of either of you being harmed that way. Wreckers go with Ultra Magnus and Ironhide and provide covering fire for us, Jetfire, Springer and Trion, perform ariel bombardments, Bumblebee, take Arcee, Jazz and Cliffjumper to rendezvous with Blaster and his team, everyone else is with me. We will meet up at the Louvre, now Roll out.”

“Hold on.” Said Ironhide, as he shifted into his vehicle mode, with Ultra Magnus doing the same. The group of humans and Autobots broke up, each heading in a different direction.

Blaster shot a Vehicon through their spark, with Mudflap and Skids sped around an Insecticon, Jolt was patching up Sunstreaker and Windblade, while Leadfoot and Airazor were retrofitting a Decepticon fighter to work with Autobot inputs.

Blaster caught sight of a mangled protoform, he wasn’t sure if it was Powerglide or Perceptor, as both had been in the general area of where the Space Bridge had cut off. A shot flew past Blaster’s head, making him turn and see Bumblebee with Arcee, Jazz and Cliffjumper charging towards them.

“Great to see you, Blaster.” Said Arcee, as Bumblebee tore a Vehicon’s arm off.

Cliffjumper jammed his tri-cannon into a Decepticon’s chest and obliterated its internals, with Jazz punching another Decepticon into submission.

“Do any of you have vehicle modes?” Asked Arcee, as Bumblebee walked up to them.

“Only the grounders, those of us that can fly still have our original alts.” Said Blaster, before firing at a Decepticon.

“Do you know where the Louvre is?” Asked Cliffjumper, looking around.

“Yeah, we’ve still got a signal with their worldwide network.” Said Blaster, as Jazz nodded.

“We’re to regroup with Optimus there, I suggest you help Jetfire, Trion and Springer with their bombing runs.” Said Jazz, before he fired a shot at an Decepticon.

Blaster nodded, before he, Airazor and Windblade took into the air and set out to look for the other three flying Autobots.

Kup scowled at the Decepticon below him, as Bulkhead, Wheeljack and Konton took up positions flanking the Decepticon and their group. Ultra Magnus and Ironhide drew their weapons and opened fire on the group of Decepticons, taking most of them out before they could react.

Bulkhead and Konton pummelled a Decepticon until it was just a pile of scrap metal, as Brawn punched a Decepticon towards Wheeljack, who then impaled it on his swords.

There was a thumping on Ultra Magnus’s chest, prompting him to open it up. Marinette groaned and slumped he head out of the hole, “Sorry, I think I threw up on your seats.”

“I was aware.” Said Ultra Magnus, allowing Marinette to hop onto his hand.

“Where’s Adrien?” Asked Marinette, as Ironhide shifted his shoulder to reveal a turret with Adrien sitting behind it.

“He’s got mah flank.” Said Ironhide, before the panel that had been protecting Adrien snapped back into place.

Magnus glared at Ironhide, before readjusting his internals so Marinette was a bit more comfortable inside him, “What happened to Steadfast?”

Ironhide grimaced, “I loaned him to Optimus, Prime said he needed him for something.”

Ultra Magnus frowned, before he heard the sound of engines. Hound, Ironhide and Bulkhead readied their weapons, just as Arcee, Bumblebee, Jazz, Sunstreaker, Cliffjumper, Mudflap, Skids, Leadfoot and Jolt drove up to them.

“Aw, shit, now we have added weight.” Said Hound, prompting Konton to hit him.

“The flyers are joining the other three in the sky,” Said Arcee, looking up at Ultra Magnus, “They’re going to regroup with Optimus and meet up at the Louvre.”

“Very well, Soldier.” Said Ultra Magnus nodded his head, “Now, get ready, we still have more than a few Decepticons between us and the Museum.”

Hound, Kup, Ironhide, Bulkhead, Konton and Ultra Magnus all transformed and waited for the NEST soldiers to get in, while Brawn, Smokescreen and Wheeljack proceeded on foot. Bumblebee glared at the wreckages.

“Megatron’s going to pay for this.” Said Bumblebee, as he advanced with the rest of the Autobots.

Elita watched as Optimus tore through the Decepticons between them and the Louvre, Mirage had spotted Megatron, looking unwell, sitting on the remains of the Eiffel Tower. A Vehicon was shot out of the sky by Jetfire, with Springer and Trion dealing with other flyers. Sideswipe was covering Crosshairs, who was covering Drift, while Warpath drew the Decepticon’s fire.

A turret that’d been built by the Decepticons suddenly exploded, as Blaster, Windblade and Airazor flew over. Hot Rod and Cogman returned from their scout, dragging Lockdown behind them.

“Look what we caught.” Said Hot Rod, throwing Lockdown in front of Optimus.

Trion transformed and landed next to Optimus, Elita frowned at the wound her adopted son was bearing.

“Lockdown, why are you here?” Asked Optimus, as Prowl trained his gun on Lockdown’s chest, “The last I was aware, you were a neutral bounty hunter and not a Decepticon.”

“That, Prime, is my business and my business alone.” Said Lockdown, as Hot Rod punched him in the back of the head.

“Answer the question.” Snapped Hot Rod, while Trion levelled a rifle with Lockdown’s head.

Sideswipe prodded his swords into Lockdown’s back.

“I guess my loyalties are truly with the Decepticons.” Said Lockdown, smirking, before Optimus shot him in the face.

The now dead bounty hunter fell to the ground, as Optimus glared down at it, “We should be clear to head to the Louvre, Knockout’s sticking with Dreadwing and Dreadwing isn’t going very far from Megatron.” Said Mirage, peering through his scope again, “Looks like Soundwave’s dragging something to Megatron… It’s Starscream.”

“Anything else happening over there?” Asked Sideswipe, as Mirage frowned, and his entire face went slack.

“Megatron just tore Starscream’s spark out…and he’s just taken a bite out of it.” Said Mirage, disgust clear on his face.

“Eww, disgusting.” Said Crosshairs, as the Autobots started to move out towards the Louvre.

Trion transformed and took to the air again, signalling for the other flyers to head for the Louvre.

The Autobots looked around the cavernous space around them, it’d been mainly left alone, while the rest of the city was being torn apart.

“With Blaster’s interference,” Said Ultra Magnus, as Brawn and Bulkhead looked at some art, “Only a quarter of the Decepticon arm remains, with most of them easily distracted.”

Ironhide looked over the map Windblade had provided.

“It seems Megatron, Dreadwing, Soundwave and Knockout are not moving from their place near the Eiffel Tower,” Said Ironhide, frowning, “Considering what Ratchet told us over the comms, Megatron wouldn’t be able to smash a scraplet.”

“I bet he’s regretting killing Starscream now.” Said Mirage, as Steeljaw returned and rejoined with Blaster.

“Apparently, Airachnid’s turned up and met the same fate as Starscream.” Said Blaster, as he reviewed the footage from Steeljaw’s optics.

“So, he’d finally gone completely mad.” Said Cliffjumper, as he looked out a window, “Dreadwing’s been quiet.”

“Even so, we have a direct opportunity to end Megatron, once and for all.” Said Optimus, engaging his battle mask, “Move out.”

The Autobots got a total of thirty feet, before Soundwave landed in front of them. The Decepticon silently looked at them, before retracting his visor.

“I am here to defect.” Said Soundwave, before his visor snapped into place, playing footage showing Megatron killing Dreadwing and other Decepticon forces, “Unaccounted for; Shockwave, Knockout and Slipstream.”

Optimus frowned, before narrowing his optics, “Soundwave, when did Megatron succumb to the Dark Energon?”

“Three Solar Cycles ago.” Said Soundwave, before Optimus noticed that Laserbeak was missing.

“Was Laserbeak consumed by Megatron?” Asked Optimus, making Soundwave flinch.

“How’d we know if this weren’t a trap, Prime?” Asked Ironhide, glaring at Soundwave.

“Because, Soundwave wouldn’t use defection as a ruse, even if it was on Megatron’s orders.” Said Optimus, as Elita called for a ground bridge and ordered Bumblebee to escort the other Autobots away, while she, Ultra Magnus, Ironhide, Jetfire and Optimus remained to deal with Megatron. Marinette and Adrien quickly made their way to the roof of the Louvre, as Optimus and his team approached Megatron, who was prowling around the area like a caged beast.

“I always thought that when he defeated Megatron, we would be fighting a powerful warrior to the death,” Said Ironhide, watching the Decepticon leader, “Not performing a mercy killing.”

Optimus unhooked the Star Saber from his back and approached Megatron. The Mindless Decepticon froze, before slowly looking at Optimus.

“Forgive me, Brother.” Said Optimus, as Megatron roared and started to scramble towards him. With one quick stroke, Optimus removed Megatron’s head, the Decepticon skidding to a halt behind him. Megatron’s headless body flailed, before falling still.

Optimus heaved the Star Saber up and waved it, giving Marinette the signal to transform into Ladybug and release the cure. Optimus watched as the city was fixed around them, all traces of war gone, the ladybugs had even restored the lifeless husks of the deceased Decepticons. Optimus gazed down at Megatron’s face.

“Farewell, Brother.” Whispered Optimus, as he called for a ground bridge.

Marinette grinned as she watched Optimus shake ‘hands’ with the new Mayor of Paris. There’d been a memorial service for everyone killed in the Decepticon attack. Optimus had also managed to locate the All-Spark, deep below the surface, in an underground cave.

“I’m also proud to extend the offer,” Said the Mayor, “of French citizenship to all the Autobots.”

Marinette tried not to wince at how loud the cheers were.

From what Soundwave told Optimus, Gabriel had been crushed to death by Lockdown, while Lila had caught Megatron’s optic and had been integrated with one of Starscream’s clones and renamed Slipstream.

Marinette paused at the sight of Cliffjumper illegally parked with a parking ticket under his wind screen wiper.

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thanksjro · 4 years

Text

Dark Cybertron Chapter 8: Swoop is a Good Ally

Bumblebee doesn’t turn into a convertible, but that won’t stop Megatron from riding around with his legs hair in the wind, as the two of them book it for Iacon from the Crystal City. Bumblebee’s making great time, despite carrying a dude who is significantly larger than he is. As the burning city comes into view, they discuss the fact that the Titan that’s making its way downtown (walking fast, and it’s homebound) is full of Shockwave ores. The life and death ones, to be exact. This is a problem, because that means it’s neither alive or dead, and you can’t kill something that ain’t alive.  Then Megatron goes on about how Cybertron needs him, and has always needed him, to end oppression.

Mighty high opinion of yourself you got there, Megatron. We’ll see how that plays out as the day goes on.

Over with Starscream, our fearless leader’s reflecting on how true the term “rat bastard” fits dear Rattrap. Rattrap��s more concerned about the fact that people are literally dying right now while Starscream has a pity party. Good thing Rattrap brought some party guests.

Starscream double-checks that all these friendly faces aren’t with the Titan, then gets called incompetent by just about everyone. Prowl puts together a strategy for this nightmare scenario, staring directly into the camera and showing off his lovingly rendered nose as he starts giving orders. While everyone else is going to be either rounding up the injured or trying to pick a fight with a dude roughly 50 times their size, Prowl’s going to try to figure out how to stop the Titan.

Back inside Metroplex, things are looking tense, as Nautica and Chromia are about a hair’s breadth away from beating the Rod Pod Squad to death. In an effort to dispel the hostility, Getaway points at his bellybutton, and then sat Nautica’s, quoting Optimus Prime and saying that there’s no reason to fight, because a bunch of little murderous bastards are about to pour in and cause some trouble for everyone.

And then a bunch of little murderous bastards are about to pour in and cause some trouble for everyone.

Everyone starts climbing up the rope Nautica and Chromia dropped last issue, except for Whirl, who would prefer to spend his time kicking ass as opposed to hunting for Metroplex’s brain. As the gang crawls around in the vents- because of COURSE they do- Nautica realizes that she’s talking to none other than Ratchet, and has a bit of a moment. Ratchet’s more concerned with the concept of gender being introduced into his world.

You’re right, Ratchet, it doesn’t matter. Just let people live, dude.

Everyone ends up in the left shoulder blade area of Metroplex, where his brain is, and where we meet Windblade- our fan-created character, and a huge part of why IDW had to jam the concept of sexual dimorphism into their continuity posthaste.   In 2013, the Fan Built Bot polls were held on the Hasbro website, where fans could vote on several traits of a new character. One of these traits was gender. 

Which I’m sure Furman was thrilled about.

The majority rule was for a female Transformer to be created, one hailing from Kaon, who was an Autobot telepath who turned into a jet and had a sword. Not all of this information was kept, simply because it didn’t jive with what had been established about gender previously. Things were still very messy, so Windblade’s place of origin was changed.

But we’ll get to that later on.

Right now, all you need to know is that Windblade is here to keep Metroplex alive.

Over in the Dead Universe, Nightbeat leads Team -Imus to Kup, the lot of them blasting and gunning down zombie robots the whole way. Cyclonus still has the Hollywood Tuberculosis cough. When they reach Kup, Orion Pax calls him old. Cyclonus has a gun now. Rodimus explains why he’s got numbers carved into his palm.

After the nightmare that was Overlord happened, and then the Luna 1 stuff, Rodimus enacted the Crisis Act. Now, the last time we saw the Crisis Act was in Eugenesis. It’s been a minute, so here’s a refresher:

In this case, Rodimus enacted the Act on himself, having the crew of the Lost Light vote on whether he should remain captain. 89 voted for him to get the boot. This weighs heavily on his mind, so much so that he’s decided to carve the vote into his hand, so he can never forget those he failed.

Off in the corner, Cyclonus is dying, but this isn’t about him, this is about Rodimus’ sense of guilt.

Orion isn’t thrilled with how Rodimus handled the situation- he claims that Rodimus would have simply stepped down from his captaincy outright, if he really felt that badly about the situation.

Off in the corner, Cyclonus is still dying, but this isn’t about him.

Not my space dad.

Nightbeat scoops Kup off of his bed and helps the old man stand, not that he needs it. No sir, this crotchety old bastard is so full of piss and vinegar, he’s gotta have the entire Industrial Revolution backdropping his big badass speech.

And then that final claim is tested, as Cyclonus’ limp body is fastball-specialed into Kup’s torso. Nova Prime’s here, and he’s pissed. Orion decides he’s gonna square the fuck up. It’s time for Prime Prime-Time Fight Time.

Back inside Metroplex, violence is taking place, as Whirl, Getaway, and Skids are eviscerating the Ammonites. Over with Metroplex’s brain, Windblade is explaining her whole deal.

Chromia, don’t be fucking rude.

Windblade is a City Speaker, a robot who can interpret the the lights and wave patterns of a Titan’s brain module for the purpose of communication. It’s a pretty sweet trick. Brainstorm doesn’t care about that though- he’s more concerned with getting the hell out of here. Ultra Magnus agrees, though he’s more concerned about the current state of Cybertron and the fact that Shockwave’s still running around. Windblade tells them to do whatever, but she’s gonna stick with Metroplex. It’s at this point that we find out how our new friends got here in the first place.

Turns out Thunderclash’s ship was taking new crew members on, and these three lovely robots were a part of the new blood. The Vis Vitalis ran into Alpha Trion not too long after they joined, freaking the hell out because Metroplex- his best friend in the whole entire world, as established in Spotlight: Orion Pax- just vanished.

Not sure how you lose an entire city that you’re riding around inside, but whatever, Alpha.

Alpha Trion was worried about his friend, but not enough to stop looking for the Holy Grail. So he had Chromia, Windblade, and Nautica come out here to do it. Unfortunately, they haven’t been able to do much. This might be why Metroplex pulled the Lost Light over to this rinky-dink little water planet- so he wouldn’t die.

Do you think Roberts and Barber were aware that they were having a bunch of male characters walk all over the hard work of these female characters, by way of making them better at the thing they were sent here to do? Do you think they thought about that? Because that’s pretty much what’s happening here. They’ve been here all of ten minutes, and Nautica- who is a quantum mechanic and engineer, as will be established- has been outdone by a bunch of doofuses who’ve only got the benefit of being properly established characters helping them out.

With a little set up, Metroplex’s brain is plugged into the Lost Light’s engines remotely, and Ultra Magnus tells our boy to rise and shine.

Back on Cybertron, Fixit and Flatline are about to throw down, which Starscream thinks is hilarious. There’s a whole medical slab that contains only a single shin. People are laying in trailers, but I guess that lone shin has priority for whatever reason. Outside, Scoop is being a good lad and helping get the injured to safety. Rattrap is also there.

The Titan has hit the city limits, and everyone’s shooting at the thing to cope. The Dinobots are upset because they’re being ignored, but at least Swoop is proving to be a good friend, as he’s already acclimated to Slug’s name change. Good on you, Swoop.

The plan of attack here is shooting the Titan in the neck until the signals to the brain are cut off from the rest of the body. It’s not really working out so hot, but smart boy points for trying, Prowl.

A building explodes, because we haven’t had an explosion yet this issue. Prowl, whose little red chevron seems to be shrinking by the panel, asks Soundwave for his opinion on the current situation. Soundwave goes “I dunno” and then Megatron shows up.

Friggin’ drama queen.

Prowl, who’s had about enough of everyone at this point, breaks out a gun and tells Megs to start talking before things get uglier than they already are.

Megatron has a plan. Are you ready to hear it?

He wants everyone to:

Load up on ships

Fuck off into space

Come back later when the DJD show up

Bumblebee does not like this plan. He dislikes it very much, in fact, and throws Megatron’s legs on the ground in protest. Megatron pouts about being called a meanie warlord shit-for-brains.

Bumblebee rattles off a very inspiring speech about the perseverance of the Cybertronian spirit, and how you should never give up, and oh would you look at that Metroplex just showed up with the Lost Light.

Time for some Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots. Hell yeah.

#transformers #jro #dark cybertron #issue 8 #mtmte #issue 26 #maccadam #Hannzreads #overthinking about robots #incoming analysis #text post #long post #comic script writing

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mocacheezy · 4 years

Text

(forgot to actualy post this when I first wrote it, anyways, rechecked the info with the help of wiki, so have my thoughts on TFA Megatron (S1))

So I finished the first season of Transformers Animated, and let me just… Let me just EXPRESS my feelings for TFA S1 Megatron and the shit that happens to him:

So Megatron has the Allspark in his sight after so many many years of searching. It’s on a tiny Autobot repair ship, shouldn’t be a problem to get it right? Except while fighting the Autobots a bomb planted on him (by Starscream, he should see this coming) detonates. He survives that with damage to his right arm, gets inside the ship and is facing off against 5 autobots (clearly repair crew, and not in sync) in no gravity. One of them manages to cut his arm off, he is down by an arm, big deal, ‘tis but a scratch, he’s fine.

… No like seriously, this doesn’t stop him. He ALMOST GETS THE ALLSPARK!

Except that the leader of this troublesome repair crew kicks him off ship, causing him to crash on Earth. The only thing intact is his head (that Sumdac finds). Is he dead? Is he in a coma? Whatever it is, Sumdac tinkers with what he found.

50 years later, Megatron wakes up, can’t move, can’t do anything really because he is literaly a HEAD (ᵃˡˢᵒ ʷʰⁱˡᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ʳᵉˡᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵃⁿᵗ ᶠᵘˡˡʸ,ⁱ ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵉᵖⁱˢᵒᵈᵉ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵇᵘˡᵏʰᵉᵃᵈ “ˡᵒˢⁱⁿᵍ” ʰⁱˢ ᵇᵒᵈʸ…ᵖᵘᵗˢ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍˢ ⁱⁿᵗᵒ ᵖᵉʳˢᵖᵉᶜᵗⁱᵛᵉ), sees that Starscream was the one who tried to kill him and almost suceeded (or did he suceed? Again, not 100% clear on the function of that Key… It heals, it upgrades, it gives life and sentience… Did it REVIVE Megatron or did it just wake him up?)

And what does he do?

I MEAN LOOK AT THIS?!

He is LITERALY ONLY A HEAD, WITH SO MANY OF PARTS EXPOSED OR WIRES HOOKED UP TO SUMDACS MACHINES.

MACHINES THAT HE CAN’T USE, BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO PRIMITIVE.

AND DESPITE ALL THAT!

THIS GLORIOUS FUCKER!

STARTS PLANNING RIGHT AWAY! HE KNOWS THE SITUATION IS BAD AND HE BIDES HIS TIME!

He eventualy risks what little… Advantage? Is being locked away in the dark an advantage? When there’s autobots around being hailed as heroes, yea I think it might be though Megatron wouldn’t admit it… I think? Not outloud that’s for sure

Anyways, he risks it with exposing himself to Sumdac.

And then proceeds to deceive Sumdac! Like, Sumdac is smart. I actualy did need to take a step back and go “damn this poor man really is way over his head”, because on the first glance it seems really dumb to fall for a lie like that.

(I actualy would love to talk about the Professor in the future, especialy by just looking at him as a character on his own… BUT THIS IS MEGS SPOTLIGHT SO *yeets away for another time*)

AND MEGATRON IS NOT 100% GOOD AT THIS “I am an Autobot” THING. He lashes out! He is impatient, he is angry to the point of wrecking the lab with the energy surges and there are moments when Sumdac doubts that he himself can fix this mess he made, especialy with how angry this “Autobot” is.

But SOMEHOW, this glorious FUCK manages to turn most of the damage those outbursts cause into very convincing explanations for his reactions, WHILE also pretending to be useful and “helping”.

He can see almost everything from where he is, once he masters the connections with the cameras and etc. in the tower and things across the city. He deflects or “explains” why his plans included flamethrowers for amusement bots, and, let me say this again!

HE IS ONLY A HEAD AT THIS POINT IN THE SERIES!

A HEAD!

He is pretty limited with what he can do HIMSELF! Sumdac is not an ally, he is more of an enemy that isn’t aware of the power he holds over Megatron.

And he is doing everything FAR too slow.

That everything being mainly, getting Megs a body.

AND WHAT’S EVEN BETTER?!

There are so many robots around, all of them reverse enginered from Megatron himself, and none of them are of use to him. And when he DOES manage to get them to listen, something always interferes (Dinobots were a semi sucess, Soundwave rebelled, but did end up wearing a con badge (and boy was it eerie to hear Soundwave say ‘machines supperior to humans’ and how they will be all destroyed… Great episode that one) ).

So the robots of this planet are useless to him. He has to try and find a way to manipulate human criminals to do his bidding, getting him the materials Sumdac apparently can’t get without raising suspicion. Not that it’s hard, but they are useless as well, especialy with the Autobots meddling, so that also fails.

And there is always that Key. That he can’t just ask for, but can’t get no matter how he tries. And by god, does he try.

His only real, longe term-ish line of self defense at the moment is Sumdac and his guilt over using a friend of the Heroic Autobots…

AND THEN!

HIS DECEPTICONS ARRIVE!

And he isn’t even sure if he can trust them, given that his Second In Command blew him to pieces. So he has to gamble and hope for the best with Lugnut.

Which is clearly tiring because, as much of devout follower as Lugnut is (the fanfics are all spot on, writers of TFA Fandom amazing job portraying this mass of devotion), it gets annoying real fast when you are trying to get things done and really need to get a body asap, and the only one you can count on is determined to sing praises to you everytime you give an order.

Not even THAT seems to bring him any closer to his goal. And then Sumdac finds what remained of his body.

Pretty good for 50 years of weather exposure, eh?

BUT it seems he will have to keep waiting, because the blizzard that is raging outside causes a blackout, so the Tower is using the backup generator, so Sumdac declairs a delay in repairs.

Megatron alternates between bluster and sweet-talk to try to get his way, but it’s no use. Megatron attempts to call Lugnut again for assistance.

(Source: tfwiki)

From the looks of it, he came back online at the begining/end of fall, so he’s been,

pretending to be an Autobot (one who is a friend of bots he knows very little about, the ones who caused him to become like this in the first place)

pretending to be useful and helpful to Sumdac in exchange for attempted repairs (all of which have failed)

keeping his temper in check (good thing he can save the slip ups with quick thinking…)

for about… 3 or 4 months?

And no way to leave the lab?

With Sumdac as his only company?

Probably also in discomfort given THAT HE IS HOOKED UP LIKE THAT?!

With his ghoulish hand in sight that was/is CLEARLY being used as a chair for an organic?

… Yea. Imagine doing all that, being this close to finaly making progress, and instead being told “Weather bad, no can’t do, wait a while longer”.

So if Sumdac fears enough for the safety of his planet, he’ll surely work faster right? That seems to work somewhat…

Then comes Starscream.

The absolutely last Decepticon Megatron needs right now. So Megatron has to pretend he doesn’t know Starscream tried to kill him. With Starscream CLEARLY planning to kill him for good this time.

He is a head, what can he do?

We can soon see Megatron can take great joy in punishing that fragger, with limited resources he has, while Sumdac finaly works on his body.

The only fun perk of being a “friend of the Autobots” so far.

And then Blitzwing and Lugnut arrive. I swear, I was sure with all the talk Lugnut was doing, there was no way Megatron will actualy get that body.

Good thing they got the Key and that Sumdac didn’t think/wasn’t able to put in any override codes or sound the alarms.

What followed was a gorgeous villain reanimation/reconstruction scene and I loved every second of it. I mean, just look at this.

So, Megatron finaly has a fresh new body.

(gorgeous fucker)

He fights the Autobots, (if I start talking about the details, this post will never end), defeats them and does a magnificent job of offlining his SIC.

(Like, I love TFA Starscream. I really do. This purple bastard is a joy to watch, but given what he did, seeing him get offlined in such a dramatic, yet quick and efficient way(and knowing he comes back anyway)… Let’s just say, I was very pleased.)

The “Fuck you Starscream, Die 1.0” however, lets the Autobots escape and the chase begins.

Here I would like to thank the animators for giving both Bots and Cons gorgeous Magical girl-esque transformation scenes, because they are all beautiful BUT MEGATRON, HOLY HELL, I AM LOVING THAT HELICOPTER!

And they are back on the Ark, fighting in much the same way they were the first time,

But Megatron has no apparent weaknesses, except perhaps being cluttered with little shards of Optimus Prime after he finishes beating on the Autobot. Their one-sided fight carries them into the hold of the ship, where Megatron succeeds in acquiring the AllSpark…

Megatron manages to GET THE ALLSPARK!

SO MANY YEARS OF FIGHTING AND SEARCHING, AND HE HAS IT!

And he puts it in his spark chamber. Or in front of it.

…

Megatron. You just put an anchient artifact in your chest.

I… Listen, this is a step above Megan and his SpaceCocaineStraightToSpark Nonesense, BUT ALRIGHT!

I GUESS IT IS “SAFER” THAN HOLDING IT IN YOUR HANDS WHILE FIGHTING AND GLOATING.

Before he can celebrate, he is temporarily downed by Isaac, who knows enough about Megatron’s circuitry to disable his equilibrium sensors—

(”well fuck you too Sumdac”, I mutter to myself)

but although he drops the AllSpark Key in his stumble, the tyrant isn’t down for long. Megatron is about to finish Prime, when Sari hurls Prime the Key…

the kid Megatron could easily crush when she was standing infront of the Allspark (BUT HE DIDN’T!) throws the key to Optimus.

…

Who proceeds to jam it into the Allspark.

…

In your chest Megatron.

…

Where your own spark is, Megatron.

For the Lord of Decepticons and quite an old fellow, who I’ve just sung praise to, that was so dumb…

A destabilized Megatron flees the ship before the AllSpark explodes inside his chest, dispersing its energy throughout the atmosphere.

HE BLOWS UP! AGAIN!

This time his body is mostly in one piece, and he has Sumdac as a hostage but…

This Megatron does not have luck on his side.

He really does not.

The only reason he is still functioning is, that he is too stubborn to give up and die.

The whole “TooStubbornToDie” does seem to be a Megatron trademark, and makes me love his character even more.

TFA Megs. S1 and I already love him so much.

To finish up this rant of mine…

Someone get him a damn blanket and force him TO TAKE A DAMN BREAK! REST YOU STUBBORN FOOL!

#Moca screeches #Moca watches #transformers animated #tfa megatron #seriously dude please take 5 minutes off #Long post #For some reason the read more is not cooperating

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ultracreativelywritten · 4 years

Note

Love the latest Steverella drabble! Can we have the rest? Stevie-boy NEEDS a happy ending!

Starscream stared at the discarded mask on the stairs, the mysterious mech wanted to be found. The seeker smiled, he knew that he had made the right choice.

“I have made my decision! The mecha who perfectly fits this mask will have my servo in marriage!” Of course, that made so many mechs and fems flocking to his side, all jamming their faces trying to get the mask on. This would be fun.

_______________________

St-3v3 shivered as Soundwave followed him into the kitchens. “Is everything alright Step-creator?”

“St-3v3: went to the ball. St-3v3: knew that he wasn’t supposed to go to the ball.”

“Step-creator?” St-3v3 took a step back in fear.

“St-3v3: has caught the attention of Starscream. Megatron: should have caught the attention of the future winglord.”

“Soundwave: has made a plan with the current winglord if the stranger in the mask hadn’t been found that Starscream would bond to Megatron. St-3v3: will be hidden until Megatron’s and Starscream’s bonding ceremony.”

“But, Megatron doesn’t know what Starscream is truly like! They would never be compatible.”

“St-3v3: will stay silent or be incinerated.”

“But-”

“But: nothing. St-3v3: will follow Soundwave’s plan or else.” Soundwave left the kitchen as the door rang.

“He sounded serious!” St-3v3 jumped as the two mechs from the night before appeared.

“We won’t let Screamer marry someone he doesn’t love.”

“How?” St-3v3 had no idea how these two would be able to help.

“Just let us work our magic~” The red one smiled as the blue one broke down the door.

________________

“Here is the Energon you requested.” St-3v3 placed the Energon on the table.

“I thought that no one else was in the house?” the guard was not happy that he was lied to.

“Have him put on the mask~” Starscream smiled, he knew that the drone was his drone, but he had created all of this pointless pomp and circumstance so he had to put the mask on the drone.

“You’re not serious, are you? It’s a mindless drone!”

“I said everyone, and I meant everyone. You’re not scared are you Megatron?”

“Of some drone, never.”

“Great!” Starscream clapped his servos together, “then you’ll be fine if we put the mask on him~”

“Starscream: wasting his time.”

“I think not,” the seeker placed the mask on St-3v3, it fit perfectly, “I think we found our mysterious guest.” Starscream leaned into St-3v3’s audals, “I knew it was you the moment you walked in this room. Sorry for the fuss.”

“It looks like we found our missing… consort.” The guard struggled to say. The winglord was going to have a fit, but if this drone made the prince happy then no one would object. His only hope was this one could survive Skywarp and Thundercracker with Starscream. Soundwave and Megatron watched in horror as Starscream and St-3v3 walked out of the house.

#transformers #starscream #ST-3V3 #soundwave

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transformers-extrication · 5 years

Photo

Blitzwing enters the show! Info below!

Blitzwing is not a natural triple changer.

Upon reaching Earth Blitzwing discovered the smell of a grass field after a rainstorm was in fact INCREDIBLY soothing to him. This apparently extends to all ‘damp’ plant-life on Earth which he claims has a ‘specific scent’.

Even now, the very mention of Megatron's name causes him great anxiety leaving him whimpering and pacing up and down.

Triple Changers are not so common, but Megatron praised their versatility in war and demanded more of them. This is what lead to Blitzwing being taken and strapped down to a table. Shockwave, surprisingly, was one of the few who vouched for Blitzwing, informing Megatron that a proper upgrade to a Triple Changer would take time and care due to its complexity. Megatron told Shockwave he wanted a new triple changer within three days or both their heads will decorate his throne.

Blitzwing suffered through being practically torn apart piece by piece his pain receptors hardly deactivated, cuffs preventing the slightest of movements. New parts jammed in unceremoniously, new lines of code force-injected into his systems… the amount processor and system crashes he went through was ridiculous.

So it’s of no surprise this is what caused him to swan dive into instability.

His face now changes depending on his behaviour and temperament:

The “blue” face is his often the dominant one, his core temperature is often low at this point, making his face and expressions stiff and unwavering. He seems to have a better grasp of himself like this and engages in more strategizing like this.

The “red” face is when he ‘explodes’ having fits of anger no Decepticon wants to even be near let alone fight by. Like this his core temperature skyrockets, heating up his face to that colour and causing his armour to ‘puff out’ (think a cat trying to make itself look big) with steam coming from him as he vents said heat.

The “dark” face, however, despite the rage of the red one, is the most unstable. A giggling wild card he loses any sense of control or self-preservation and just lets loose with everything he has because he can. Like this it’s as if his face plates ‘shrink’ causing his face to ‘twist’ into a more skeletal/jagged appearance.

Much like Skywarp he has a rather childish sense of humor that still seems to be clinging on. Just.

His instability as a rushed, unnatural Triple Changer means he sometimes has trouble keeping his T-cog set and might spontaneously transform. While he enjoys transforming sporadically and rapidly in battle to surprise enemies with things such as a tank dropping out of the sky on them at high speeds, it also causes him a lot of stress with all the constant transforming that does not help his state.

He actively fled once Unicron showed up during the Unicron wars. Decided that was a big old ‘nope’ and left. Everyone else was too panicked (or had fled too) to notice so he got no repercussions.

Despite what some might assume, Blitzwing is in some way, aware of his facial change and how it connects to his mood. As such when the Quintessons first appeared and he saw them change their face as they told the Decepticons of the “Energon, revenge and riches” working for them would bring he instantly distrusted them and skulked away.

Blitzwing overheard the Quintessons discussing their lie of the “Decepticon Matrix of Leadership” because he heard them discussing how curious it was that Galvatron rejected power, energon, slaves and revenge but fell for that. Blitzwing didn’t get to warn Galvatron about it, however, as the Plasma Energy Chamber released a pulse of energy that knocked them all offline.

During the later ceasefire Blitzwing tried to ask why Galvatron was so interested in a Matrix. He got a quiet mumbled response about the Matrix and ‘unicron protection’.

He was the first Decepticon to happily follow Galvatron after the Quintessons in a chase to get revenge however, whether that was because he too wanted revenge for their lies or was just gleeful for some unrestrained mayhem it’s not known.

Astrotrain is close to Blitzwing, the natural Triple Changer is aware of Blitzwings more unnatural past and acts as a sort-of guardian to him.

Blitzwing was one of the ‘cons whose issues were gradually helped, or at least not so ridiculed by the other ‘cons anymore, after Soundwave and Scourge pushed the Decepticons through a mental health course. He’s still struggling with the stability part.

He wags his tail. But given his tail doubles as the cannon to his tank mode, it’s not always advised to be standing behind him. Just in case.

#Blitzwing #transformers #maccadam #transformers au #fan design #character ref #art

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sunderedstar · 5 years

Text

Transformers Iacon Literature Fest 2019

it’s time for @cannibalisticcutie’s TFILF again! already missed a few days, alas. so I’m just gonna rec some good angst AUs, since they’re my jam!

Reprise d'Attaque by @neveralarch

Fencing AU! Because in what other sport would Starscream have a convenient excuse to take a flying leap at someone with a pointy weapon? Reprise is the first fic in the Attaque Composée series, and I don’t know a thing about fencing, but I know some good writing, some delicious Starscream trauma, and some sweet Starscream/Wheeljack when I read it. The translation from canon Autobot/Decepticon wartime interaction to a long-standing space alien robot fencing feud is perfectly done, the Starscream characterization is fucking crisp, Stageflight is best girl who emulates Starscream’s victory screech when she scores points, and in at least one tumblr-only ficlet Wheeljack jokes about getting a mustache. 10/10, would scream again. I need...more...

And I Alone Have Escaped To Tell You by @astolat

With an additional plug here for @shibara‘s absolutely gorgeous fanart for this fic, located here: http://shibara.tumblr.com/post/179461125334/aaaah-it-is-finished-this-piece-is-a-lonnng. It feels almost redundant to rec one of Astolat’s fics when they’re so well known, but the fact is her writing is phenomenal, I’m a sucker for competency porn-style/time travel/fix it fic (especially ones where you get to explore people’s reactions to someone who’s just that good), and I do so enjoy works that do Quintessons right. Cyclonus winds up with a second chance to do things right after losing everything, and by god is he going to be good at it.

You Are Listening To by @zekkass

Nonbinary Soundwave, check. A stunning exploration of some G1 AU worldbuilding, check. Soundwave/Optimus, check. Soundwave is a deeply integrated part of the living comms/datanet, part of the unique kind of community politics and culture that stems from what kind of information and coverage you provide in the network as you move up in the city, and I adore the perspective and tone it gives the narration from Soundwave’s point of view. I recommended it already for last year’s TF literature fest, but I’m doing it again.

Your Face Becomes The Sun by @spockandawe

I just reread this at regular intervals and noodle about Starbladejack to friends constantly. The slow, growing discomfort as Wheeljack struggles to balance his old relationships with his current loyalties when he goes to visit Earth, while OP pushes more than he should, and then the relief and comfort once Wheeljack gets some space to breathe is v cathartic, and I love it.

#tfilf #transformers #maccadam #idw #neveralarch #astolat #spockandawe #zekkass #starscream #soundwave #wheeljack #cyclonus

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galvatronsthighs · 5 years

Photo

Here he is! Story under cut!

Cyclonus was one of many seekers who found themselves drawn in by the fancy speeches and bold moves made by a fellow gladiator.

As a member of the ‘younger leagues’ of a gang of flying gladiators engaging in aerial battles, he knew where Megatron was coming from and was more than willing to follow this up and coming, new leader. As such he often made flights around the ‘base’ of this building revolution, accepted into the ranks and made a part of the flying division, size and physical strength putting him in the high ranks immediately. Not only that he was very loyal and also had a strong sense of commitment that made him a mech of interest to Megatron.

It was during one of these flights near the headquarters that Cyclonus saw something bright purple falling from the sky!

Realising someone had managed to fall from the higher levels the Seeker dove forwards grabbing the mech mid-air and holding him tight until he calmed down enough to be moved. Slowly Cyclonus lowered the now calmer mech to the floor. He was surprised when the fellow thanked him with the biggest hug he’d ever had since he moved from his caretaker units house! The duo introduced themselves and Cyclonus learnt this clumsy, affectionate guy was named Galvatron. Without a moment’s hesitation, Cyclonus found himself invited to hang out with Galvatron’s friends at MacCadam’s where he met Galvatron’s other friends, Like Bumblebee. It seemed great! Being around Galvatron was like a welcome breath of fresh air from the stuffy Seeker trainees he was usually around. Even Bumblebee hit it off with him, jokingly calling each other “The Horn bro’s”, even then he still wound up talking to Galvatron more.

He always seemed to like making him laugh and when Cyclonus laughed, everyone knew about it, but Galvatron seemed to giggle and immediately try making him laugh again.

Megatron’s training regime got more and more strict and harsher, Cyclonus could hardly find time to hang with his friends so much anymore. Though that changed when he found Galvatron at the barracks window tapping for him to come outside, he and Bumblebee had snuck in to hang out with him, it had been Bumblebee’s idea but only prompted because he claimed Galvatron was worse than a wet cyber-cat without him around. It warmed his Spark to know they still cared for him. Trying to find some way they could spend more time together Cyclonus invited them to his practices, it became easier to slip out with them and hang out. Galvatron started greeting him with a hug each time. He saw MacCadam’s more and more as they hung out, even if Maccadam himself was saying more and more strange things about him. So what if Galvatron smiling made him smile? You’re always happy when a friend’s happy, duh. Although… Galvatron was getting more withdrawn and quiet it… hurt in a way Cyclonus hadn’t felt before. During one particularly intense bout of training; Cyclonus was part of a devastating crash, his wing was broken and practically hanging off. He’d lose it if something wasn’t done quickly. Bumblebee and the field medic rushed off to get a stretcher to take him away but Galvatron stayed by making a distressed warbling sound as he fussed over him. It was at that point Galvatron turned green. Cyclonus was shocked as the light bathed over him and the returning medic and yellow scout looked on as Galvatron’s new energy wrapped it’s way around his wing and through his body. The energy surged through Cyclonus’s self-repair circuitry making them feel a thousand times stronger, his wing snapped and twisted in on itself, new filaments, wires and joints spread out. Just like that Cyclonus’s wing was good as new. He was too distracted at the pristine wing jutting from his back that he didn’t notice the warmth spreading through his chassis as a tired but happy Galvatron flopped over him in a big hug. It was certainly strange but Cyclonus tried to push it out of his processor, it wasn’t until a couple cycles later when Bumblebee cornered him that he started to make sense out of the myriad of strange thoughts bustling through his processor. The little yellow scout showed off a video on his device, Galvatron was hugging him after healing him and Cyclonus could see his own cheek plates brimming with a tinge of colour. Bumblebee had a smug look on his face that only grew in intensity as Cyclonus desperately tried to deny the video evidence but it was no use the little scout was not leaving and was not going to let this go. He fumbled shyly with his digits still trying to sidestep the issue when Bumblebee grabbed his arm and physically dragged him (to the best of his abilities) along, pushing him in front of a very confused Galvatron. “I… date….. Us… me?” Came the eventual stunning question after Cyclonus spent forever umming and ahhing. Bumblebee thankfully cleared it up when Galvatron had no idea what he was talking about. Galvatron seemed just as shy as Cyclonus when he finally nodded a ‘yes’ in response. What followed was what Bumblebee called “The most adorably awkward hug I’m surprised Primus himself didn’t rise up to yell at you two to kiss already”. Everyone seemed to ‘aww’ at their relationship, they blushed when they held hands, which really was something as they held them constantly. Maccadam cheered and gave everyone a free drink. Bumblebee (badly) sang them a love song as they went out for a meal together (he managed to sneak in with an instrument just to play at their tableside) before being chased out by staff. Even Soundwave seemed to quietly drop by and give them tickets to a Rosanna concert. They hardly left each other's side and it filled Cyclonus’s spark to the brim with a warmth he hadn’t felt before. Although, Galvatron seemed distant, there were days when Cyclonus wouldn’t find him where they agreed to meet, he’d just get a short message saying Megatron had made plans for the day. That was fair, he was their leader so no big deal right? Then Megatron showed up more taking Galvatron away mid-date and crashing their nights. Tired of this Cyclonus waited in Galvatron’s room one night, waited for him to return. When he did Cyclonus saw him covered in freshly welded gashes, his optics strained to the point of leaking and his own stabilizers so shot he was shaking like a leaf. He hardly had the energy to deny Cyclonus when he bounded forth and wrapped him up in a hug. It was at this point Galvatron broke down and sobbed. Megatron was hurting him, experimenting on him. Tearing bits of him open and jamming energy rods inside, monitoring him, his energy, his power running haywire everytime it happened, how it hurt and burned. How Megatron furiously snapped and threw him around like a ragdoll when they were alone, how… How he only saw darkness in the grey leaders spark whenever he touched him. Cyclonus was dumbfounded, left to hug his boyfriend as he cried. He didn’t want to believe that Megatron, for all his promises of a great Cybertron, his promises of a better, united world, would do all this. But the scars and wounds didn’t lie. He could not in good conscience allow the one who brought light to his life to suffer so, he wiped away his tears and promised him, as long as he functioned he will rescue him from this torment.

They shared a poignant kiss vowing to be free of the torture, to run away and be free together, but it would be difficult. He knew there were rising tensions between the rising factions, the only way to fix this would be to crawl to the Autobots. Knowing which side he stood on Cyclonus met up with Bumblebee and told him he had to get Galvatron out of there. He was shocked and a little nervous when Optimus Prime appeared alongside the scout. Bumblebee had picked up on his odd behaviour and the not-always-well-hidden scars on his friend and had passed on this information. Optimus had agreed that it combined with certain qualities displayed by Galvatron lead him to be very concerned at the young mech staying in Megatron's care. But Megatron was no fool, he noted his ‘weapons’ little friend acting concerned and knew that he had befriended those who sided with Optimus. As the tensions got higher the guards around Galvatron increased and as much as Cyclonus tried to argue, he was moved further and further away hardly able to see him at all. He could only dread the things that were happening to Galvatron but knew he wouldn’t be able to get to him like this. It was a awful time but he pretended to be loyal to Megatron, doing anything and everything he said no matter how degrading. Hope came to him when he saw a little yellow ally rushing about the base, but it was short lived, the Autobots were raiding the base and Cyclonus knew why, but the fighting was not enough to cover up the screams. Pitifully Cyclonus made weak attempts to shoot at Bumblebee his shots arcing wide and always missing, he pinned the blame on the attack happening before his weekly calibrations and his aiming system had not been tuned up properly. When the base near exploded in a flush of energy he took his escape, slipping away in the confusion he easily spotted Optimus Prime and Bumblebee. It broke his spark like a thousand raging Predacons to see the state Galvatron was in, pale, broken, tortured. Little chunks of energon practically growing through his armour. Bumblebee gave Cyclonus a pat on the shoulder, the seeker had ignored him and grabbed Galvatron’s hand. “Come with us” Bumblebee urged, “they’ll know” “Yes, in light of everything that’s happened you are fully welcome to our team” Optimus concurred. He couldn’t he knew he couldn’t. Cyclonus squeezed Galvatrons hand looking him in the optics once more before turning to Optimus. “I can’t and you know it, they’ll send everyone after him, I know not what they were doing to him but they will not let you take him. They will find you and your Ark and you will be destroyed.” Galvatron whined trying to get him to stay but Cyclonus squeezed his optics shut, knowing that if he looked into those pleading eyes he would crack. “They think I’m loyal again, I must go back, I must tell them false information, claim you went the opposite way. It won’t be much but it’ll give you time!” Galvatron struggled and weakly whined in Optimus’s arms he begged for Cyclonus to stay, the look on Optimus and Bee’s face told the same but they conceded they probably wouldn’t make it otherwise. Galvatron still tugged on Cyclonus’s hand, his broken vocal unit had been buzzing constantly with pleas this whole time. Cyclonus tried to pretend he wasn’t crying. He cupped Galvatrons helm and pressed their foreheads together. “Do not worry for me, I will find you again, nothing will stop me, I will flee as soon as I’ve lead them astray. We will be together again no matter what happens, nothing will stop me… because I love you” Unable to take looking at him one more time lest he fail, Optimus told him the location of the Ark’s launch site and Cyclonus flew away. He wiped his face and circled back to the base, he found a running group of cons and yelled to them that he saw a red figure moving off to the west and came for immediate back-up. Almost instantly everyone was flocking to the west side desperately searching for the fleeing Autobots but came back empty handed. It was not fun listening to Megatron’s wrath at losing his most “prized possession”. It made Cyclonus sick to hear those words used to describe another living being. He took part in the repair efforts and kept his head down, he had to wait for the perfect time to slip away. Except he didn’t, there was a sharp pain and then his systems went offline. Drugged up and chained up was all Cyclonus could comprehend the few vague moments of consciousness he managed told him as such. Blurred figures stood nearby, he could make out colours. Megatron and Shockwave were shuffling about. Words were distant too. “Drone… Spotted… Nowhere… Lied…” “Traitor…” “Location… Ark…” “Tell… NOW...” “Refused… “Cortical… Patch…” “Failure?…” “Emergency… memory… gone…” If he thought hard enough he could almost think of what they were saying but his vision was suddenly taken up by what looked like darkness. A blurry light began to shine and he realised Megatron had his cannon aimed point blank at his face. He registered a moment of pain before going offline again. When Cyclonus awoke again he was stood up and fully operational, sans one optic, but that didn’t matter, not like he always had two, did he? Cyclonus was his name right?. “Cyclonus” Megatron strode in front of him and memories seemed to click into place, he thought. “Yes my lord” He saluted in return to his glorious leader and master, yes this was right. “Ah good, how wonderful to see you’re… back online after the Autobots attacked” He mused, “I have a task for you, just to… check, you’re still in ‘the right frame of mind’” Megatron snapped his fingers and two nameless seekers brought a pair of femme’s in and threw them to the floor. One was small and had little horns on their head the other was tall and held her emotions better. Upon seeing him both of them seemed shocked and tears were falling down both their faces. “Cyclonus!?” Their voices echoed deep within Cyclonus’s core but he didn’t know why. “These two are traitors and are responsible for letting the Autobots in to our base” Megatron continued, ignoring protests from the two femmes, he then handed a gun to Cyclonus “You know what we do with traitors right? Execute them.” Cyclonus cocked the gun, and looked at the two kneeling prisoners. Traitors right? Execution? Not like he actually knew these two anyway. BLAM BLAM Energon was smeared up the walls as two quick shots took the femme’s out. Megatron was delighted and seemed ecstatic with the outcome. “Excellent! Excellent!” He praised rubbing his hands together, “You always were such a loyal and dependable soldier Cyclonus” Cyclonus merely nodded in gratitude at his leader’s praise. He was allowed to leave to his barracks, though he didn’t understand why Soundwave told Megatron his actions were “sick”. It was all alright. He excelled as a brutal and devastating force upon the Decepticon ranks and was soon allowed to head off to Earth in search of a vessel full of Autobots to be destroyed. Notes/Extras:

In reference to his Armada-self, Cyclonus has a loud distinctive cackle and is often unable to stop himself from laughing for a long time.

He is physically a tank, he’s exceptionally strong and can take many a hit that’d be dangerous for a normal bot. His engines are even strong enough to break out of a planet's atmosphere if enough energy is available. However, while he can build up an impressive speed it takes a while for him to get going and he traded maneuverability for it.

One of Shockwave’s drone’s saw that Cyclonus was never in the direction he claimed the Autobots to have gone and as such was giving false information.

When torture methods didn’t work in getting Cyclonus to spill the information he knew of they tried a cortical psychic patch to get to his memories but Cyclonus deleted and destroyed the memory of the Ark’s location in a desperate attempt to prevent them from knowing.

Megatron shot his eye out and his horns were clipped more for ‘symbolic’ reasons.

His entire memory was wiped, all he remembers is being a aerial gladiator and following Megatron, he knows nothing else.

He isn’t aware of it yet but Megatron made him kill his own parental/caretaker units as a test of loyalty.

When he finds Bumblebee on Earth his distinctive appearance triggers a memory in the Autobot scout who immediately calls him his “Horn bro”.

This is enough to give Cyclonus a tiny fragment of his old self back, enough to know that this little Autobot has/knows something important and needs to be kept alive/away from the rest of the Decepticons.

He follows Bumblebee and Windblade at a distance too nervous to go near; Windblade calls him “Bumblebee’s amnesiac puppy” for his odd behaviour.

Unfortunately Bumblebee doesn’t remember enough to be of more help other than knows he does trust this guy, for some reason, and there’s something important he’s forgetting.

#cyclonus #transformers #maccadam #cyberverse #transformers cyberverse #attempting art #Cyb AU

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afterspark-podcast · 3 years

Text

G1 Episode 41: Transcript

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: What's his face- the one that you said Rodimus would make out with-?

O: I like that!

[Intro music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon! I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're going to be talking about episode number 41: Making Tracks. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Sure, let's do it. Once upon a time in New York City, something, something, cars being pretty-

O: So we open up with two punks in the background on a rather beat up pink car.

S: In the foreground we see a blue corvette stingray with a large winged Autobot logo on its hood.

O: ‘Cause it's a Tracks episode y'all!

S: One of the punks says, “Those wheels are rude!”

O: Wait, wait is that- was that actual 80’s slang? I feel like I've never actually heard that used by, you know, a person.

S: Neither have I and I don't know- neither of us existed then, which I guess dates us rather.

O: We were but a twinkle in our fathers’ eyes.

S: Apparently, Tracks is just what they've always wanted as the two punks pick his door locks and hop on in.

O: One gets into the driver's seat and the other spots an expensive looking red boom box in the back seat.

S: They jam to some tunes on our buddy Blaster.

O: I'm really confused, why do they not just use Track’s stereo?

S: Maybe they're listening to whatever cassette Blaster has got in his player.

O: Ah, yes, the soothing sounds of Eject. Please note: Eject does not actually appear in this episode.

S: Yep, he is Sir-not-appearing-in-this-film today.

O: Because Soundwave is allowed to have buddies but Blaster does not get any for a while, I swear.

S: They're on break. They're always on break.

O: They're always on break.

S: The two punks drive the new joy ride to a shady warehouse and meet an even shadier man.

O: Apparently Tracks is only worth $800.00, which is still too little- even adjusted for inflation at $2526.99.

S: Oh, that's so accurate.

O: Thank you, inflation calculator.

S: I would think that he'd be worth, you know, closer to $8000.00 in current, uh, US dollars but this is probably a chop shop and they're definitely not getting paid market value if we're here- for anything here.

O: I’d say they're getting ripped off, even.

S: Yeah.

O: So Tracks says nothing about this clear insult but transforms into robot mode, scattering all the humans.

S: One of the punks is still carrying Blaster, who transforms and picks up both the punks like two naughty little kittens.

O: The shady chop shop guy makes it just outside the door before running headlong into Optimus and then he pulls a gun on Optimus and shoots at him.

S: And it's a laser gun, no less. How did this man get a laser gun?

O: Though the power of 80’s cartoons and they're not allowed to use real bullets.

S: Oh maybe this should have been our first, uh, hint about who our true enemies are on this episode.

O: Perhaps, maybe.

S: The Autobots head on back to Sparkplug’s garage after, you know, finishing busting up that chop shop

O: Is this a new thing that Sparkplug’s acquired since getting chummy with the Autobots or has he had this this entire time?

S: He's the most interesting man in the world, I mean it could be either.

O: It really could, but to make this more confusing when they arrive back at the garage it really does look like an Autobot construction of some sort, not a man-made one.

S: It's even Autobot orange, how about that?

O: Hey, you know, do you- do you think they went shopping for just the right Earth paint color to match? Like they can- or did they have paint on the Ark? I-I have concerns, I have questions.

S: Someone probably went and got, you know, color swatches and compared them to the Ark.

O: They made Sunstreaker do it.

S: Oh, Sunstreaker, Tracks, and they went and, you know, got Carly because she had better color vision than Spike.

O: Obviously. So Tracks talks about how he likes New York and he could stay here forever.

S: His teammates poke fun at Tracks cosmopolitan preferences, even saying he'd rather hang out with humans than them.

O: Okay, so apparently Tracks is so attracted to humans even before meeting Raoul that the other Autobots regularly kink shame him about it.

S: Oh, he just cares about the culture. He's a man of culture-

O: [Laughter] Uh-huh, uh-huh.

S: If you will.

O: Sure.

S: Our current New York roster includes not only Optimus, Blaster, and Tracks, but also Powerglide, Cosmos, Seaspray, and Hoist and Huffer.

O: Yay, Cosmos!

S: It's gonna be a weird, weird day for New York.

O: Yeah, they must be used to it by now. Optimus sends these various Autobots out to patrol the area but Tracks walks off in a huff to go take a drive.

S: And apparently the state of New York City is so bad in the 80’s that immediately after getting on the road three dudes run out into the street and try to rob whomever they think is driving Tracks.

O: Those windows are either tented or these are the dumbest robbers in existence who are trying to rob an empty car.

S: They're opportunists. Dumb opportunists, because they are in fact the dumbest robbers in the world as they eventually realize that there is definitely no one in that damn car.

O: And they also have laser guns and shoot at Tracks.

S: One of the shots hits his tire and he goes careening into a convenient lamp post.

O: Obviously, Tracks is devastated by the cosmetic damage.

S: He has discovered that New York is not all bright lights and fancy shit.

O: It's also men with laser guns.

S: Tracks tries to transform but apparently getting dinged up like that was just too much damage.

O: A young man sees Tracks and is basically like, “Oh well, it's damaged but still a sports car. I'm going to take it home with me.”

S: What he actually says is: “Well, apparently nobody wants you so that makes you mine,” like, that is not how that works Raoul!

O: Haven’t you read fanfic? Of course that's how that works!

S: Well, considering some of the random accidental baby acquisition things that I've read-

O: What!? [laughter] Baby acquisition was the thing that got said to me today! I had to hear it now so do you, dear listeners.

S: Let's put it this way sometimes fanfic is very weird.

O: Indeed.

S: Accidental acquisition- accidental baby acquisition. ...Yeah, no, that is not how any of that stuff works. Tracks is currently unable to drive and the man enlists some people to help push him into an abandoned lot of some sort.

O: Of course, this young man, as we alluded to earlier, is Raoul and he, again, comments on whoever owned Tracks before, he owns him now.

S: Tracks replies, “Nobody owned me, I'm mine.”

O: Raoul did not expect his new car to talk to him tonight.

S: Well, I think if I was Raoul i would have, uh, maybe taken a step back to-

O: Rethink my life choices?

S: Yeah, but so- yeah, Tracks asks Raoul to repair him and we find out that Raoul intends to sell him, presumably because he has promised a car to two dangerous characters named the Geddis brothers by midnight.

O: Raoul says, “The first time I try to steal a car and I get one with a big mouth.”

S: Track is being somewhat snooty about however Raoul got car parts at this time of night but Raoul's not in the mood to get, you know, a lecture from a car.

O: He pops open Tracks’s hood and comments on “What the hell is all this machinery?” only, you know, without the hell because we are talking about an 80’s cartoon, before snipping an innocent looking wire.

S: Cutting said innocent, delicate, little wire completely incapacitates Tracks.

O: Because, apparently, that's the main cable to his computer and that seems like quite a design flaw. I hope that doesn't become important in any way, shape, or form later in this episode!

S: [Laughter] Hint.

O: Hmmmmmm..

S: Sea spray is patrolling the river and is cranky about humans being litter bugs.

O: While Powerglide and Cosmos report to Prime that they have not seen any Decepticons or Tracks.

S: Hoist complains about being stuck in traffic due to a car accident and hops out of Huffer to help.

O: Which is hilarious because Huffer is shorter than him in robot mode but Hoist apparently has no problem riding in him.

S: And when we say riding in him, we mean riding in his cab, not in his back seat or you know-

O: Whatever you want to take that as an innuendo for.

S: Well, that wasn't what I was thinking- I was just- he's not riding in like a pickup truck bed or something.

O: Oh, yeah, okay I get ya. Huffer laments that they can't all just fly like Tracks before we cut back to Tracks and Raoul.

S: Tracks is looking much better as this front end has been hammered out and, you know, fixed up and Raoul is in the process of polishing him.

O: Which I'm sure Tracks is appreciating.

S: Mm-hm. Two large, adult men have apparently stopped by to shake this teenage boy down.

O: These are the Geddis brothers and they want their car and even call Raoul a bad little boy.

S: Yeah, that's, um, well I mean that's incredibly creepy, by which I mean it's the creepiest thing they could have possibly said.

O: In this exact scenario, yes. Raoul’s in immediate danger! Cut to commercial.

S: Or Shockwave modeling, you know, striking a pose.

O: And after we're done with that, uh, we're back and, uh, these guys insinuate they're going to give Raoull his own set of cement shoes.

S: Well I guess they're part of the mafia or something?

O: I don't know what they are but yeah they're like, “Uh, can't give us a car? Murder.”

S: Yeah, and then Tracks comes to the- well, comes to the rescue by driving up and transforming and putting the intimidation on and because, you know, and the guy's grand plan to get away from the giant metal man is to chuck Raoul at him.

O: Who is, obviously, caught gently in Tracks’s hands and is totally fine.

S: Tracks is a very careful fellow.

O: Yes, I would hope so.

S: So the two Geddis brothers hop in their car and speed off.

O: Cue a not so high-speed car chase as Tracks transforms and chases after them with Raoul in tow.

S: Passing by such renowned New York locations as the Casablanca Abba Cafe.

O: Don't forget about the Appliance Store and Bar or, quite possibly, the Store and Bra. We can't tell.

S: It's unclear. Also the Fashion Forker.

O: Because I don't know what was going on with these names but, boy, are they a joy to read. Raoul thinks that they have lost the Geddis brothers but Tracks says, “Hardly,” and takes to the air.

S: And it is at this point that, uh, rap- Tracks finally introduces himself to Raoul.

O: Yeah, Raoul's basically just been calling him ‘car’ this entire time, I think.

S: I'd rather suspect Tracks has been pouting over that.

O: Probably. Uh, Raoul and Tracks do lose sight of the guys near the docks and head back to the empty lot from before.

S: Tracks has reached the conclusion that the Geddis brothers are working with the Decepticons.

O: Which, you'd think, if you were working closely with either the Autobots or the Decepticons, you'd take the time to learn their damn badge colors so you don't accidentally ruin your entire plans by mouthing off to the wrong bot, because I don't remember what the Geddis brother said to Tracks but they were, like, “Wait? What are you doing here?” or something, I think, to Tracks.

S: Yeah, something like that and, I mean, it's an 80’s cartoon. Nobody's getting points for intelligence here, except maybe Perceptor.

O: Because Percy always gets intelligence points. Tracks asks Raoul to take him to where the brothers are storing the stolen cars and Tracks says he's going undercover... as a stolen car.

S: Again!

O: You know, because that's what you just spent all night doing.

S: He knows what he is. He knows he wants- he knows he has to be the damsel in distress here. They arrive down at the docks and see a parade of cars on a bridge crossing the Hudson into Jersey.

O: I regret to inform you that at this time we are legally obligated to make a New Jersey joke. A-hem! Of course the Decepticons are in [New] Jersey!

S: Ah, the Geddis brothers crossed the bridge and Tracks and Raoul will follow.

O: Back with Powerglide, he reports spotting Starscream to Optimus.

S: Starscream realizes pretty quickly that he's being followed and tries to lose Powerglide but is shot at by Cosmos who wishes him a terrible day.

O: You know, considering the last time they met, I can hardly blame Cosmos for not liking him.

S: Neither can I because, yeah.

O: That whole idol thing? It just didn't go over super well, you know.

S: Yeah. Starscream lands and transforms, running into a shopping mall that somehow- somehow scale to fit them. Roughly.

O: And somehow still open. Like Tracks, earlier, kind of insinuated it was rather late at night, but whatever! Cosmos and Powerglide follow him in but Starscream opens fire on both of them and the smattering of humans in this huge- again- very empty mall.

S: Yep. Powerglide and Cosmos repeatedly lose sight of Starscream, who really should still be in their line of sight.

O: Because he's like one floor up from them! That's how this is going, essentially and so I'm just like, “Do you two need your optics checked?”

S: Maybe!

O: Ratchet, it's time for an eye exam!

S: Yeah, time to check out their sensors. Starscream gets the drop on them again and knocks them off a higher level of the mall before escaping via smashing through the ceiling.

O: Because nobody can use a fucking door.

S: Yeah, no one can really use a door here. Powerglide and Cosmos report into Optimus who, based on Starstream's escape direction, concludes the Decepticons are in New Jersey and most likely the Pine Barrens.

O: Pine Barrens!? I am now massively disappointed by the lack of Jersey Devil in this episode.

S: I don't think they have the budget for the Jersey Devil.

O: I mean, if you've seen the Jersey Devil- I- Honestly, I am devastated, devastated! I did not get to see great Transformers’ animation for this demonic beast, because I want it so bad.

S: Maybe the Jersey Devil will appear in some other iteration of Transformers at some point.

O: But will he be-

S: Just imagine it.

O: But will it be bad 80’s animation, Specs?

S: Well, someone could do, um, Transformers versus American cryptids and potentially do it with bad 80’s animation.

O: That sounds like a delight. However, speaking of the Pine Barrens, the Geddis brothers drop off all the cars and then they send all the drivers back to the city on a bus.

S: Of course, the camera pans over to the right and we see Megatron who was apparently in, uh, plain sight this entire time or showed up extremely stealthily in the last five seconds.

O: The Geddis brothers having delivered the shit ton of cars, asked Megatron where their million dollars is. Megatron being Megatron just aims his fusion cannon at them and says, “Right here.”

S: They shoot at Megatron with their teeny little peashooter laser guns which is just as ineffective against him as they've been against all the other giant robots that have been shot at in this episode.

O: The two humans manage to dodge the fusion cannon blast and presumably run off into the woods.

S: Tracks and Raoul are in the trees nearby and Tracks only just now attempts to contact Optimus but is unable to due to a broken radio.

O: Soundwave and Rumble are loading cars into a giant conveyor belt as Tracks gets closer to investigate.

S: Tracks is really pulling a Daphne this episode, it feels like.

O: [Laughter] It really is.

S: As the cars are pulled into the building Scrapper is waiting just inside with a giant sword- I keep wanting to say laser sword but I don't remember- and he hits them with the sword. Tracks is not happy about possibly becoming robot sushi and the wire repair from earlier conveniently chooses that moment to fall to pieces.

O: Raoul used electrical tape, or at least it certainly looks like electrical tape, and speaking from experience- electrical tape does not just fall apart like that!

S: It's plot.

O: [Laughter] I know it's plot but they should have used, I don't know, like masking tape or something that doesn't stick very well.

S: It’s plot.

O: [Laughter] Oh, right, right, right, right- switching my brain to off.

S: Raoul notices that Tracks isn't moving and whisper-shouts at him to get out of there.

O: Tracks is immortal danger, time for a commercial break.

S: Raoul runs out and yells at the nearby Cons that they'd better not touch his car.

O: Megatron gives him a look that can only be described as “Where the fuck did this one come from? We had gotten rid of the humans.”

S: Unfortunately, humans are a bit of an infestation, Megatron.

O: Raoul-

S: They will turn up wherever.

O: They truly will, and then Raoul lies and says he had a bomb in his car.

S: Raoul goes big.

O: Megatron then threatens him with his fusion cannon for a bit, uh, because he wants him to remove the non-existent bomb.

S: Starscream and Soundwave are just, you know, chilling nearby.

O: Rumble was just here. Is he on coffee break?

S: Probably.

O: [Laughter] See, the Decepticons have legally mandated breaks is what I'm getting from this.

S: They stop at the conveyor belt and Raoul fixes Tracks, who quickly transforms and opens fire.

O: And then the two of them basically run away.

S: Yep, and Ravage and Rumble follow on foot.

O: So much for that coffee break, but now Tracks is running low on energy because he's kind of been all over the place tonight.

S: He feels faint.

O: And he plans to make his last stand in robot mode.

S: Hey, you do what you got to do, I suppose. But Raoul runs off, trying to draw the cassettes away.

O: And Ravage nearly gets him before being tackled out of nowhere by Sideswipe.

S: Bee and Jazz arrive as well and the three of them chase off the Cassettes.

O: Tracks and Raoul are brought back to the Autobot base or Sparkplugs’ garage anyway, and shortly after the missing cars which were modified by the Decepticons begin to enter the city.

S: Optimus, Ratchet, and Blaster attempt to stop as many as possible on a bridge. I mean, good idea: natural choke point.

O: Right but then all the cars transform into robots and fire on the group of Autobots.

S: Meanwhile Bee, Sideswipe, Inferno, and Tracks take on the cars that have already entered the city.

O: Thankfully the cars are terrible shots and miss the Autobots. Unfortunately, they end up hitting a nearby skyscraper and it gets on fire now.

S: Inferno goes to play King Kong and climbs up to put it out and then Ironhide, Huffer, and Windcharger engage another group of cars.

O: I love that when these Decepticon cars transform all of their robot modes are the exact same red and yellow color scheme despite their vehicle modes all being different colors.

S: Um, the- the Decepticons got all of that, uh, got all that paint on discount or something.

O: [Laughter] Obviously.

S: On the bridge, Ratchet examines one of the downed cars and realizes they're being, you know, they're remote controlled.

O: So they broadcast a jamming signal and all the nearby cars, at least, stop.

S: The Autobots then head to the Pine Barrens to destroy the Decepticon base of the week that Tracks and Raoul found before.

O: Optimus yells, “We're putting your company into bankruptcy, Megatron!” Did Cybertron have bankruptcies?

S: Either that or the Autobots have been very well educated on Earth's financial systems which I would not put past, you know, Prowl insisting that they know.

O: Right my brain just went- obviously, Spike told them about this. Then they were educated about Earth financial institutions by a 14 year old boy mostly just because it's funnier.

S: Oh and probably, uh, Sparkplug coming in and having to-

O: Correct him?

S: Re-educate them.

O: [Laughter] Anyway bankruptcies aside, another firefight ensues.

S: Raoul has the power of a crowbar and God on his side and runs into the building to destroy the control panel but is quickly snatched up by Megatron.

O: So, wait, you're telling me that not only did Raoul just march off into that building, by himself, to wreck shit but also that Megatron was prescient enough to go inside and stop him despite being outside three seconds ago?

S: Yep.

O: Alright then.

S: Megatron walks back outside with Raoul and tells the Autobots they’d better stop firing.

O: Raoul, to his credit, is attempting to get out of Megatron's hand this entire time.

S: Tracks is threatening to turn Megatron into scrap metal, himself, if he harms Raoul.

O: Again, they've known each other for, like, a couple of hours, tops. They're, like, ride or die, it's great.

S:Mm-hm. Unable to get out of Megatron's grasp, Raoul reaches into his coat and pulls out a can of spray paint, mashes a button on Megatron's torso, opens a panel and then sprays paint into it.

O:This is apparently enough to completely incapacitate Megatron, who falls onto the ground.

S: Soundwave and Rumble grab Megatron and fly off to the main Decepticon HQ.

O: And they're never seen again. Obviously not. But, uh, a well-placed shot from Tracks causes the entire building to go up in flames.

S: Well, that was, uh, incredibly badly built.

O: Are you insinuating that the Constructicons have shoddy workmanship?

S: Well, they may not have been the ones called in to do that this week.

O: I mean, fair. He has so many. Even the Constructicons need a break.

S: Back in New York all the Decepticon cars are parked in and around Sparkplug’s garage.

O: They plan to fix them all and return them to their actual owners but Sparkplug’s not sure if Ratchet and him can handle it, even with Wheeljack helping out.

S: Raoul takes this as his cue to leave but Tracks walks over and picks him up and drops him next to a nearby car, apparently volunteering his labor.

O: The two bicker good-naturedly as the episode ends. So they are a couple now, right? Right?

S: Mm-hmm.

O: Yes!!

S: Or at least ride or die buddies, who may eventually evolve into a couple.

O: For clarification they're not actually in a romantic relationship because this was the 80’s but there is some fanfic which we have for recommendations in a moment but join us next time for: The Autobot Run. In which the Autobots will do no running... because they will not have legs.

B: [Laughter]

S: Oh yeah. It's a race, dudes. So, Owls has, uh, our fanfic recommendations for today. If you would like to take it away?

O: Uh, if you're not aware from my jokes during this episode, I actually really like Tracks and Raoul as a pairing so I just actually had these all ready, uh, which doesn't happen that often. Um, so our two picks for today are: “Danger, Sudden Swerve” by Chibibee or, uh, Rebecky_Mo in parentheses. It is G1 Cartoon, it is PG-13, it's slash, our pairing is Tracks and Raoul. Our characters are Tracks and Raoul, and in summary, “All it takes is one wrong turn to find yourself somewhere new and amazing.” Uh obviously this is based on this episode having Tracks in it and it is a collection of shorts.

O: And then our second fic for today is: “Following the Tracks” by LittleMissSweetgrass. Continuity is actually Transformers Prime for a change. It is rated T, it is slash again, characters and pairings are Tracks and Raoul although I do want to point out that there's actually a lot of characters from a lot of different continuities that get pulled into this one which makes it a lot of fun. So a lot of the human characters from IDW show up, um, as well as some Autobots that basically got humanized as human characters within the context of they were in relationships with some of the other human characters but, uh, it's really neat- it's nice to see some of these characters that have basically not popped up in anything for years like, uh, is it Asteria or Astoria? Uh, the one that's in love with Powerglide.

S: Yeah.

O: She pops up-

S: I don’t actually remember her- I don't remember her name, I'm afraid.

O: I bet- but her, the rich chick, uh, pops up. So does Chip. It's really nice, definitely recommend, uh, it is unfortunately ongoing so has not completed yet, so I'm, like, it's- it's very good and I read every single update, uh, but in summary, “At the start of Transformers Prime they mentioned that it's been three years since the last Decepticon attack but what if it was also the last time they lost a team member? Tracks was attacked and abandoned in New York City with no way to contact his fellow Autobots. It just so happens that he meets a young man that will help him survive amongst the humans until he can make it back to his team. But what if they can't make it back to them before they leave Earth?” And again it's a Tracks/Raoul recommendation.

S: I know I need to read that one.

O: It's just- it's okay I have had the worst time keeping up with fics this year because 2020 is the gift that keeps on giving. I realize this will get posted in 2021 but we are recording it at the end of 2020.

S: Yeah, it's been a bad year, folks but I think you already know that.

O: Most people do anyway. So our, uh, [art] recommendation for today is Lantana, uh, they have a Tumblr and a Pixiv and their thing is chibis basically, uh, kind of, uh, that's a bit of an oversimplification but their colors are lovely and they have some very super-super-super-duper cute chibi robots. They're soft, they're colorful, I love them, and I want to give them all hugs. So, uh, some of the ones we're recommending: one of them is, uh, it's basically at least an IDW-esque Megatron but done up as a medic. That makes a lot more sense if you've read the comics, I'm sure, um, and then there's one where, uh, they decide- where his Decepticons decide to get him a birthday present. That birthday present is basically a, you know, a captured and tied up Optimus Prime in a giant present box.

S: Tied up with a big pink ribbon.

O: Of course. And then our other one is a Soundwave with a bunch of itty-bitty kitties and him feeding them. It is super cute.

S: Like, initially, I thought that this was a weird Polly Pocket situation where Soundwave had a Polly Pocket house for cats in his chest- it does not but-

O: That would be funny. They've also got a lot more stuff they've posted since I added them to our recommendation list, that is also gorgeous including some Shattered Glass stuff which, because, I love Shattered Glass and there's not a ton of stuff of it, so, uh, yeah, check out their work. It's lovely.

S: Yeah, it's really pretty. I really like the Soundwave and cats.

O: It's- it's just- it's so cute.

S: It is very cute and that about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Spotify, and Youtube, just to name a few. And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, Youtube, or AO3! Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: I’m Owls.

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

#transcript #g1 episode 41 #afterspark podcast #afterspark

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schalaasha · 4 years

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Soundtrack of the Year 2015 Post Archived

Originally posted January 18, 2016 on the old forum.

I don’t have much to say other than ... I’m tired of 2015. Haha. It was a rough year so I didn’t get to listen to everything I’d wanted to! I did get to listen to the Yasunori Mitsuda remix album, and a bunch of albums that Solune and I talked about over the course of a few months. My shortlist was apparently longer than some expected, and I do think 2015 had a lot of great albums. Although the Canadian dollar sank like a tank (and this isn’t going to change heading into 2016), I did try to listen to as many soundtracks as I could. However, I will readily admit that I did not get a chance to listen to everything like I usually do in previous years. Personal life combined with work combined with the crappy dollar combined with falling in love (this is a good thing), kind of made it a little hard try to check out new stuff. I was fairly on top of everything for the first half of the year and then everything kind of fell apart towards the end. The decision between my number one and number two soundtracks was fairly tough. I went through a lot of mental wrangling in terms of the question “do I vote with my heart, or do I vote with my head?” I don’t usually like going with my heart when I vote for game of the year or soundtrack of the year. It feels completely biased on my part, and I feel like I’m not evaluating something with clarity or based on its own merits. Then I sort of realized, “Well, isn’t that the point?” In my head, Undertale takes the win. In my heart, though, something else does, and it’s entirely based on context. So this year, I decided to go with my heart. Listening to my heart feels weird. I feel very strongly about two soundtracks this year, and therefore, I have decided to go with only two. This is also the first time that I think I’ve written a list where I’ve played all the games. I could be wrong on that front, but this comes as a genuine surprise. I am disappointed with the lack of Falcom on my list, but I am not entirely comfortable throwing a vote Tokyo Xanadu’s way because I’m almost finished the game. While I do have a lot to say about Tokyo Xanadu’s soundtrack at the moment, I would much rather experience the music further in context before throwing a vote its way (but the soundtrack is really good, and the game itself is quite fun!). Previous Posts: 2011 Soundtrack of the Year: 1, 2 2012 Soundtrack of the Year: 1, 2, LTTP Post 2013 Soundtrack of the Year: 1, 2, 3, 4 2014 Soundtrack of the Year: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 Soundtrack of the 6th Generation: 1 / 2 / 3 I decided to forego the awards this year, particularly because I decided to forego my Worst Soundtrack of the Year award. My pick for that would be more than a bit controversial, and I think a few folks know what that one is so I’ll let it slide under the rug. Honourable Mentions x. Ori and the Blind Forest : I’d been waiting for this soundtrack for months before the game came out, and it did not disappoint. I was going to make it #3 on my soundtrack list, but halfway through my writeup for it, I felt as though I lost my motivation to write about it. Therefore, I am only including a top 2 this year. A lot of the tracks are incredibly emotional (Light of Nibel, and whenever there’s a rush to quickly platform (Restoring the Light, Facing the Dark), the pacing of the tracks do the level design justice. x. Tokyo Xanadu : Mixing electronica and violins makes this soundtrack fairly classy, from the upbeat yet elegant Strayed into Passage to the characteristic Believe It!!. Falcom hasn’t lost it; the sound is just evolved to fit Tokyo Xanadu’s tone. x. Nights of Azure : Holy shit, Nights of Azure is some hot shit, and I wish more people listened to this soundtrack cuz Solune and I love it so much. Moving from some hard rock (Malicious Roses and Edge of Apocalypse to the jazzy Hotel Ende. I wish I had way more time to spend with this soundtrack and imported the game because the soundtrack is definitely Top 5 material. x. Splatoon : Shooters aren’t my thing. If everyone I tweet didn’t bring this soundtrack up when I was asking for help with the archive, then I probably wouldn’t have known about the soundtrack’s variations. Sucker Punch, Ink Me Up x. Legend of Legacy : I like Legend of Legacy. Or, at least, when I played the Japanese version of it. It had stuff I liked to nitpick and the game is certainly not for everyone. The music itself feels like an extension of Hamauzu’s recent work. Ex: Twin Dimensional Battle, Initium (one of the better town themes he’s composed, imo) x. Kirby and the Rainbow Curse : I didn’t finish this game. I, uh, didn’t feel like it jived well with me, and anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely adore Kirby. But this game has some fantastic tuneage, from Great Cave Escape to Dethskullk Jam to The Final Battle. A lot of the soundtrack drives back to previous Kirby games, which is to be expected. However, the tone of the music moving directly back to Kirby Super Star sounds felt right. x. Transformers Devastation : I had to laugh when NTom64 brought this one up to me, just because I... wasn’t expecting it? I didn’t play the game, so I don’t know if any of the music fits the context at all (never mind that I saw the Transformers movie and I know The Touch fits super-well), but holy crap, the music is incredible and I think it deserves the Badassery Award. Sample: Face the Devastation 2. Undertale

Toby Fox

It’s not even a damn contest. I can reiterate what everyone has said in this thread up to this point about Undertale, but it’s undeniable that this is one of the best soundtracks of 2015. Heck, it might be the best soundtrack of 2015 if the whole “voting with your heart” thing didn’t get in the way for me. Basically, it took a lot of convincing to get me through this game. For one, another GAF member (Shadow Hog) gifted me the game on Steam because I essentially refused to play it at the time. And I’m still thankful that he did. I played through the whole game with Noi doing his own playthrough and we pushed each other through the game. It took some prodding from EmCee to finish off the game and get the True Pacifist Ending to add more meaning to the soundtrack overall (and I took Noi with me in tow for that, too). Now that doesn’t mean I don’t like the game. I just got spoiled on the endings and a lot of things before playing the game because, well, a lot of people wouldn’t shush about it. When I played the game, I felt like it was about the journey not the end. The game’s musical journey is fulfilling. Writing about Undertale’s soundtrack feels like a daunting task simply because there is just so much to say. From references to other games, to leitmotifs being used in single areas, to different types of instrumentation, to different soundfonts being used... there’s a lot of things to say about the soundtrack, and even just glancing through this entire thread, there are a lot of different things that people are saying about it. Undertale’s soundtrack is fairly difficult to review. There are a lot of tracks (well, actually, that part isn’t too difficult; I’ve reviewed 100+ track albums before), they all have extremely varying track lengths, and they all use different soundfonts that somehow create a cohesively-sounding album in the end. Overall, the album encourages the listener to be attentive: to soundfonts, to leitmotifs, to different references to other games, and more. There are twenty-three leitmotifs in the entire soundtrack. Undertale’s soundtrack release also composes of music that hasn’t been used in the game. I think the best way for me to approach the soundtrack, and Noi and I were talking about this last night when he was trying to get me to stop panicking about writing this post in general, is through discussing the leitmotifs. It’s like he said to me, “When you listen to <track>, what do you think of?” Well, there are a lot of things to think of. Nearly every single theme in Undertale references something else internally and externally. There are so many albums and soundtracks that use underlying motifs for everything, but Undertale kind of goes for the nth degree with respect to subtext and motif usage. The soundtrack opens up with Once Upon a Time, serving as the Undertale theme and the primary leitmotif in the game. The thing about the Undertale theme is that I guess it’s supposed to evoke a comparison between either Pollyanna or Eight Melodies. Going into the Start Menu continues a Mother comparison in terms of the Fun Naming themes without the “OK desu” part. More of the Undertale motif picks up in the comforting midi string theme Home, and it’s here that you start piecing together that all of the thematic similarities between each theme and their usage essentially crafts a story. Or at least, it lets the player have expectations of characters or areas. I particularly like the B-portion, where it sounds like it’s channeling some of the acoustic-driven themes Chrono Cross. It is also here that the player recognizes that Undertale’s soundtrack isn’t just a mesh of soundwaves; it uses midi to its advantage and thus steps up soundfont usage even further. The Undertale motif doesn’t surface until much further into the album under the Hotel and Can You Really Call This a Hotel, I Didn’t Receive a Mint On My Pillow themes, which are more flamenco-based, upbeat and resort-like. I particularly like the latter theme simply because it merges the Undertale theme with the uptempo nature of another character’s leitmotif (rather, the leitmotif isn’t used, but the tempo is). The live acoustic with the final Undertale theme in the neutral ending is so, so good. It mixes another leitmotif from His Theme and the Undertale theme to create a piece that’s used in a particular area that weaves in and out of battle and serves as an excellent conclusion for the six-hour journey. The Undertale motif is used in further pieces on the soundtrack, but I will elaborate on those further down the line. Your Best Friend is the next motif and it’s kind of one of my favourites simply because it comes from this stupid two-channel harmony but extends into something else entirely as the motif is used beyond this track. The next track is a major spoiler, but This theme is hilarious out of context because it’s just amazing how much mileage a 23-second loop got in six entire variations with different samples and soundfonts entirely. It makes complete sense in-game, but listening to it out of context like I initially did, I had to wonder why a 23-second initial loop got so much mileage and different soundfonts applied to it in one single theme. Finale has a ton of synth bass applied to it and I adore its pacing with a piano lead turning into a backing. Trying to apply the theme to a synth bass-orchestra is a nice touch too. Ruins is one of the more curious tracks in the game because it’s referenced several times in places that I didn’t particularly expect. I love the B-portion after the introduction because the percussion is so good. It’s the first place where you start realizing that everything is all connected. Ruins is further referenced in Waterfall, for instance, and it’s an entirely different area altogether. In fact, the Ruins leitmotif fits into another character’s motif altogether and gets a bit combined. Undyne has her own leitmotif, which sounds rightfully knightly and gothic (yet the loop is incredibly short), but in battle themes and general themes concerning Undyne, a lot of the leitmotifs intervowen into these themes are that of Ruins. The few themes that are raw arrangements of Undyne’s own theme in another soundfont (and I may add that the sampling is fairly decent for some of these soundfonts) entirely is Dating Tense!, and Run! (which I feel is a better arrangement of the two). Undyne’s battle theme, Spear of Justice is a hot number, with several portions throughout the track dedicated to sampling other themes: from Undyne, to Ruins (specifically, the version of it in Waterfall), Don’t Give Up, to An Ending. The backing makes the theme for me, and the introduction hits the right notes, especially when they’re held. The C-portion with the different arrangements and instrumentations of Undyne’s theme before the loop is so melodic and catchy. Battle Against a True Hero also samples a bit of Ruins itself, bringing a little more percussion and synth strings into the fray. Additionally, the Waterfall/Ruins motif also lends itself to Another Medium and CORE (with those two themes adopting thematic elements based on the characters that integrate themselves into the plot of those areas). Another Medium is probably the biggest theme that popped out at me. I played through Undertale together with Noi and we just sat there talking while this theme was playing in the background while just going “baby, this theme is so good, isn’t it?” to each other. Aeana brought it up with me, and I did indeed feel like it references X-Naut Fortress. And a lot of themes in Undertale, thematically-speaking, references a lot of other themes from other games, whether it’s in terms of a soundfont used, or just... being like Dating Fight! and Oh! One True Love. Temmie Village is fucking stupid and it isn’t even cohesive, and I love it. I enjoy the stupid soundfonts used, and I enjoy that it’s supposed to refer to the music played whenever a character’s behaving like an idiot, due in part to the lack of percussion in the track overall. Death by Glamour is one of the more fabulous tracks on the entire soundtrack. The piano harmonies aren’t as cohesive as possible, and the beat is kind of frenetic, but I think that’s what makes the piece its own. It’s an arrangement of CORE, Metal Crusher, and It’s Showtime! It’s a gigantic showcase of, well, being kind of like… um, Roundabout by Yes. The reference was so good that I had to laugh. Even the bass and percussion was replicated so well. A few folks who’ve played the game, and know where Roundabout is from may also get an additional reference, and then everything will make complete and utter sense. Definitely up there with some of my favourite tracks in the game. From here on, I guess I should probably not discuss names of tracks. The penultimate boss‘s theme is one of my favourites. For all of the emotions it evokes, and for the callback to this theme at the beginning of the game (which I truly enjoy has a few channels compared to the actual theme which uses more channels), I can’t help but to feel like it’s my favourite? It sounds like the most honest theme in the entire game. Even though it’s entirely honest, it’s an arrangement of this small theme from another of Fox’s works. It’s nice to see it expanded into something with greater detail. I love the C-portion of this track, due to the percussion and synth voice degenerating into synth piano and chiptune prior to a piano in a lower range taking over prior to the loop. It assists with making the pacing so smooth and frenetic, and emotional to boot. Even if I didn’t hear the theme in context, I’d still feel the same way. Noi and I did another ending last night together. When we heard Here We Are, I mentioned to him that it sounded fairly... Meguro-like? Perhaps that was an error in terms of analysis on my part, because upon further consideration, it reminded me a lot of OFF and Yume Nikki. It also uses the soundfont for this, though it’s not readily apparent. One of the more interesting tracks, Amalgam is a strange sampling of Earthbound tracks integrated into one thing that’s kind of cohesive taken as one whole product. Finally, what a lot of people feel the theme that caps the entire soundtrack off is the final True Pacifist boss theme. Or rather, both of its themes. Noi and I sang the whole things to each other while we were playing through the ending together. In fact, EmCee refused to let me vote for Undertale until I’d finished off the True Pacifist ending, and I could tell why. The first half of the track I linked is one separate theme for an entire phase, using three different motifs dedicated to stronger Undertale themes, opting for a synth violin opening, then transitioning forward into a synth guitar and chiptune. Undertale likes to lie about its upfront appearance. You suspect the entire soundtrack to drown in chiptune, but it doesn’t. The second theme, completely obliterates that notion, opting for a stronger sense of synth/electronica with a combination of guitar, drums, and a nice little xylophone. It’s a very pleasant and semi-rock-opera-esque way to cap off the soundtrack as a whole. I suppose, that the strongest suit that this soundtrack has, is that it tells every character’s story. The synergy between every piece in an area dedicated to that particular character, and also callbacks to other area themes is so flawless that sometimes it’s not even noticeable until you start to think about it. The soundtrack isn’t entirely flawless. A lot of the unused tracks simply sound like that: unused and unpolished. It’s nice to have them there, but they stick out in not the best way. I feel like tracks on the album should have additional loops. Speaking about the soundtrack in a game context, it’s difficult to narrow down a shortcoming because the way each theme is used is dedicated and carefully placed. Undertale was a pleasure to experience, both the game, and its soundscape. It’s an inspired album, internally and externally. It’s probably a stupid and silly reason, but I can’t help but to compare the soundtrack to what Nier the game was: a collection of different references to everything else and nods to other games woven into one thing. Of course, the collection of different soundfonts and different samples in every theme and from theme to theme is really… strange, but I kind of dig it? It’s a testament to the fact to a lack of cohesion doesn’t necessarily break a product because I feel as though Fox got what he wanted out of the game and out of its soundtrack’s lack of cohesion. It’s all over the place, but it fits. It’s different, and out of context, it sounds like the strangest thing, and even in context it sounds like the strangest thing. But because it’s so strange, it sounds so natural and fitting. Undertale is a strange journey. Its soundtrack being strange, yet so cohesive is absolutely fitting, and it has earned its spot as one of the best and strongest soundtracks of 2015.

1. Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward (patches 3.0 to 3.15)

Masayoshi Soken (some original tracks by Nobuo Uematsu)

This is where I decided to listen to my heart. I really wanted to give Undertale the first spot, because speaking as an evaluator, I felt that Undertale was the most consistent soundtrack of the year and the most impressive soundtrack from one single person. However, as I keep playing Heavensward and experiencing what I feel and what my friends feel, I can’t help but to think with my heart instead of my brain. I picked up Final Fantasy XIV after years of Noi asking me to play the game with him and I didn’t really want to start playing it because I wasn’t interested in any of the jobs until Ninja was implemented. Perhaps it might be slightly unprofessional on my part (lol “professionalism” when it comes to organizing a thread) to choose a soundtrack based on my personal biases and experiences that is game-specific as opposed to the musicality of a soundtrack. A lot of my decision-making with respect to this soundtrack has a lot to do with personal experiences, so please bear with me. A lot of Final Fantasy XIV’s soundtrack, particularly pieces from A Realm Reborn and the 2.x patch content, can be a bit mixed. While some of it is amazing, like Thunder Rolls or Torn from the Heavens, some of it doesn’t feel entirely cohesive. This is due in part by some of the music being remnants from the game that Final Fantasy XIV was, and the game Final Fantasy XIV is today. It is also due in part to Masayoshi Soken having not come into his own entirely yet. Soken has composed for other games, such as Mario Hoops 3-on-3, but these games typically side-games or games that don’t have a lot of traction outside of niche circles. I believe, even since last year, I was waxing poetic about Soken’s work simply based on out of context experiences with his music. Now that I can say I’ve experienced his work in context, it’s even better, and I understand the following he has. Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward is, for the most part, Soken’s time to shine in the sun. Although the main theme, Dragonsong, was composed by series’ veteran Nobuo Uematsu, many of its leitmotifs are carried on throughout the entire soundtrack. I do feel as though Dragonsong is more cohesive than Answers; however, that is a personal bias considering I liked Final Fantasy XI’s theme, Distant Worlds, far more than Answers. Truth be told, I did not start warming up to Answers until my Free Company started raiding the Binding Coil of Bahamut more often. That being said, there’s a lot of what Dragonsong does, which works for me more than Answers did (and I’m typically not a huge fan of Uematsu’s vocal pieces at all). Susan Calloway’s diction is, as usual, incredibly excellent. Hearing her voice feels like a gift. As some may recall, I’ve studied vocal music, trained as a mezzo-soprano, so hearing another soprano with a lot of control feels amazing to me. Physically-speaking, it’s hard to control your voice when you get into a higher range and your voice is more of a power voice than a paper-thin voice. My vocal coach and I spent sessions together trying to get my voice under control for Phantom of the Opera pieces where I did both parts when I was younger, even. I’ve come to admire sopranos who can get it done flawlessly, and Calloway is one of them. It’d be an honour to hear this live one day. While the lyrics describe nothing but the legend of Saint Shiva, Hraesvelgr, and the history of Ishgard itself, the way the music is composed, with many of the note holds, some of the simplicity and elegance melodically-speaking, and the feeling and diction emanating from Calloway’s vocals makes the music more meaningful. I feel that way every time I let the game’s opening trailer roll. Many of the game’s themes revolve around Dragonsong’s motifs. Well, “many” is probably falling short of how many truly use its motif. Despite this, as Thoraxes and I had discussed months ago, this soundtrack demonstrates a lot of Soken’s growth as a composer. Dragonsong appears numerous times in different motifs, from the slowest, most delicate pieces, so the more energizing pieces. I enjoy the redone prelude, since much of the instrumentation used in terms of strings is more evocative of cold and loneliness, which enhances Heavensward’s thematic elements a little more. I’ll personally be sad to see the theme go when 4.0 rolls around, but I love leaving the game on the start screen just to listen to it even more. The boss theme, Ominous Prognosticks, is more melodic than the A Realm Reborn boss theme, and it’s even better. It’s easy to hum, and I love the percussion and brass. The percussion drives the entire thing and the strings and brass carry it all the way through, especially frantic bit in the C-section. When the theme launches into the main melody in D, extending into the main Heavensward melody, with the chorus, it’s paced so well with the percussion hitting hard then extending into the main traditional Final Fantasy battle opener prior to the loop. It’s one of the better boss themes in the series, and it’s incredibly catchy. The Primal themes in this game are different from those of 2.1-2.5. Ravana’s themes demonstrate that Soken’s not all about rock operas or metal. The first half is a hilarious waltz. The strings make this far more than the chorus. But then you’re blasted into the second half with some hot bass (throatsinging) vocals and setting itself far apart from the other upbeat primal themes. The instrumentation doesn’t run far from the vocals, and the brass doesn’t overtake any of the vocals, letting the lyrics play out gracefully. I can just sing “the war still wageth on” when it comes up because I know when it’s coming up in the movement. I like it. It’s one of the better Primal themes in the game because there’s a lot of depth to the instrumentation and care taken in lyrical writing. For the second primal theme, Bismarck, Soken decides to go with more electronica as opposed to rock or what he did for Ravana. More drum and bass, and it sounds really good. It’s the first primal theme out of the two main ones that I gravitated towards because of the bass. The second phase adds some piano and slight vocals. The bass and percussion stand out more in front of the rest of the music and it’s something I always appreciate in any sort of music because bass anything is my sort of jam. The second portion of the track where the piano is added is nicely rhythmically-paced, integrating vocals. It’s hard to say out of the two primal themes which one I enjoy more, but it entirely depends on my mood. Heroes is the final boss theme of Heavensward, and it integrates parts of Dragonsong into the theme. Even listening to it while writing this up, I find myself humming the harmony because it’s my favourite part as opposed to the lead melody or the vocal portions. The portions where the main melody of Dragonsong flows in, it’s difficult not to be enraptured by the string sweeps, the percussion, the orchestration, and the brass. The Azys Lla theme is one of my absolute favourites. I don’t know what to gush about first. The introduction with electronica? The organ melodies (oh hell yeah, the organ melodies)? The theme is a deliberate nod to Final Fantasy VI’s New Continent, albeit with different instrumentation. I love the backing, too. It’s not something you typically hear unless you have a good audio system, but in some good headphones, during the downbeat/piano portion in D, there’s some really nice stuff being done with hi-hats and synth vocals. It’s fairly different from other area themes in the game overall, and it stands out by being a completely different genre from everything else. I have a very deep affection for Coerthas Western Day, and Coerthas Western Night, simply because they were really the first two themes I went out to experience for myself when I got to the Heavensward patch. The instrumentation in both is so melancholy, hinging on strings and piano in a cold wilderness. At the same timeChurning Mists Day and Churning Mists Night don’t get a lot of love in-context because... well, not a lot of people like that place. It sucks. Musically speaking, both themes are really nice inverses of each other and easily told apart due to a complete difference in terms of instrumentation. One is a beautiful piano rendition, and the other is draped in strings and plucking. The introductions of each piece are fantastic and tender and slow. Contention, linked previously, is one of my favourite themes in the entirety of Heavensward, and half of the reason is because it’s a very important theme for me. It is supposed to illustrate a deeper connection between two characters in the Heavensward narrative, and hence it’s a graver arrangement, led by a piano, of Dragonsong. However, in a personal sense, I generally associate the theme with Noi and me fighting then making up, or just being together listening to the theme and telling each other that we love each other very much. Thus, Conviction is very important to me, both as a game-player, and as an individual. Musically-speaking, it’s a wonderful grave piano arrangement of Dragonsong, and it doesn’t necessarily build or change outside of synth strings being added in a layer. Nothing necessarily overtakes the piano until a small grave climax in the theme. It’s very tender and I love it very dearly. I kind of dislike the Idyllshire Day and Night themes, and I find the Hinterlands Day and Night themes fairly unremarkable. I feel like they don’t necessarily add anything musically or add anything with respect to musicality other than “here’s this town theme, it sure sounds like a town theme”. The Hinterlands themes simply use instrumentation that don’t necessarily tug on my ears. By contrast, the Ishgard themes (Pillars : Night / Day; Foundation Night / Day), are much better and more grounded in emotion along with motifs for Dragonsong better portrayed through instrumentation. The piano, the brass, and the organs play out the prestige of a town theme mixed with a main title theme, and it’s a pleasure to listen to every time. However, the main dungeon theme for the dungeon in the Idyllshire area, Ink Long Dry, is one of my favourite themes in all of Heavensward. That jazz piano is some of the hottest stuff on this side of D4. The bass stands out, and while the time signature for this piece is weird, and everything about the piece is so weird, it’s the most relaxing piece in the entire game for me outside of another soon to be mentioned. Jazz fused with some weird instrumental hip hop in the main portion of the track, and it sounds so good. Out of the two postgame dungeons in 3.0, I like The Fractal Continuum more (not just because my damage-per-second shoots through the roof based on my job, but it doesn’t hurt!). While Neverreap sounds like a standard arrangement of The Sea of Clouds, Fractal brings its own fun melody to the table with organs, synth, a nice backing guitar, fun backing percussion and hi-hats, a nice little piano. But man, listen to that percussion. It’s almost to die for and I’d love to drum that myself if I ever got better at playing the drums. The Alexander themes are a true treasure. It’s something you kind of expect from the area, and from Soken himself due to his previous work and which genres he chooses to set his themes. The ambient theme doesn’t get a lot of play, and honestly due to the area, it doesn’t get a lot of love either. I kinda dig it because it reminds me of 90s rave music. The electric guitar melody is pretty hot, the organ is hard to hear but it adds a lot of melody, and the backing synth is jammin’. The one theme that everyone loves (well, not Jucksalbe :V :V) is the boss theme! This shit right here is super-hot. The lyrics are hot (dc, dying, dying, electricity!), the percussion is so fucking good in almost every section of the theme (particularly A-portion prior to a verse, with the electronica). The introduction is so good, and I’d love to hear an entire piano quartet rendition of the entire theme because of that. Sometimes I go in, hum one part of the melody and Noi hums the other for the harmony and it feels so good to know someone else gets it. Metal is probably the one theme that some folks who don’t play the game might know? There was a live version done at a panel and some non-FF14 players thought it was hilarious on my timeline, anyway. The lyrics are lore-specific, with FF14’s Goblinspeak pervading throughout the entire theme. This is where “No Busydeals For the Wicked” comes from, and you can’t help but to sing along to it to have something to laugh at because folks aren’t doing their jobs in the raid and not picking adds up when they should also the tank isn’t stunning the legs ... and... what? Metal is a theme that’s more or less a typical Soken theme. The lyrics don’t kick in until the battle actually starts and someone’s hitting something. The instrumentation is so caustic, particularly due to the reliance on hard percussion coming from all angles. The synth and the electric guitar pick up at a fantastic point during the theme’s chorus, and I especially love the bit during the second verse with some of the off-beat string points. It’s so frantic and sounds added in because they were late to the party, but it fits so well. The 3.1 themes are a bit hit-and-miss. The Diadem and its battle theme sound great for the first few times, particularly because they invoke the traditional prelude, and it hinges on more of an orchestrated sound as opposed to the rock or gothic themes that we usually get for raids. The B-portion of the former theme is probably the best part of it as opposed to the introduction which includes the prelude, because it sounds more militaristic due to the percussion, and yet, it evokes a sense of wonder due to the brass and flute. That being said, like any MMO theme like this, it gets very repetitive very quickly, particularly before its loop. The battle version of the Diadem theme is really cool due to the pacing of the track, and because it integrates the classical Final Fantasy battle theme introduction. I like it far more than the exploratory theme, and I kind of wish it had a longer loop because I’d rather hear that for 90 minutes straight as opposed to the exploratory theme. The two dungeon themes in 3.15 are really good, though one is old. Pharos Sirius only got a new (very excellent) piano introduction, and I wish the rest of the piece were more arranged to set it apart from its easy mode predecessor. Saint Mocianne’s Arboretum is gorgeous. I’ve used it as study music. The woodwind introduction, with the piano D-portion is my favourite. Never mind that the dungeon itself is gorgeous; the pacing of the track itself, particularly in its C-portion with its pacing piano prior to the loop and the B-portion relying more on strings and guitar, allow the player to perceive a sense of beauty and magnificence with respect to a slight reference to Final Fantasy IX. It’s a very nice arrangement of the Dravanian Hinterlands theme, and it makes the theme even more respectable. The new Vanu themes are so well-done to me. They’re so evocative of some Genso Suikoden III pieces that tried to inspire the same tribal tone but those themes weren’t always so successful at it. I especially enjoy the piano in this theme, combined with the underlying backing and percussion. It sounds so frenetic and disjointed, but it works so well, and I’m glad that these themes were integrated into the patch. The Gundu theme may not start off as strong, but its final portion before the loop has an excellent orchestrated background with a flute lead. I couldn’t help but to think, upon hearing the themes in the patch for the first time, that Soken grew a little bit. He’s not confined to rock anthems or electronica anymore. He can still land into traditionalist territory and set himself apart. I don’t have much experience with the Lords of Verminion theme because I don’t usually do the event. But man, it reminds me of Mortal Kombat. It’s so easy to dismiss it because of the electronica backing and the percussion, but the best part of it is the violin passage. Even then, it’s unfortunate that the loop is so short, when matches are apparently five to ten minutes long. The Void Ark themes are probably the best new pieces of music in the 3.1 patch. While traditionally gothic, it’s not every day that we get organ and piano-filled themes like that in Final Fantasy XIV. Void Ark’s Calm Theme relies on its organ, its piano, plucking, and softer percussion. I feel like I know the melody in and out because I have someone humming it in my ear every time I run through the dungeon with him. There are times when I literally have to tell him to shush because I’m concentrating on healing or hitting a thing, but it honestly makes me love the melody more because it tells me that the melody is quite catchy. Even during the battle theme, I can’t help but to sing the main melody along with Noi because it keeps me at ease when I’m in a tough situation. I do enjoy that the brass became more prominent in this version as opposed to the organ and piano in the former. The Echidna boss theme is still a variation of the Void Ark theme, but it includes choral work, more brass, and more percussion. The bells return and there is a sweet interlude in the C-portion with the original organ and flute before picking up to the main instrumentation. The final theme added in patch 3.15 is the (final boss spoiler) Primal Extreme boss. Some people kinda hate because it’s not enriching enough, but I love it. I love the B-portion, post percussion introduction, with the piano prelude joining an arrangement of the main final boss theme/Dragonsong arrangement. It’s a good arrangement in a completely different key. After the big bombastic portion finishes, a piano transition occurs which I absolutely adore. It’s backed by synth and very little percussion, and the portion slightly arranges the Azys Lla theme. It then transitions to a paced choral portion of Dragonsong with a final brass fanfare before looping. I haven’t done the fight yet because the running joke is that my FC is busy doing silly distracting things instead of new content (hey man, 3-4-manning content is plenty fun!), but man I’m sure I’ll love it in context when I do finally do it. I had asked Noi to run the Aetherochemical Research Facility with me on Friday because I was still struggling to vote between my heart and my head. And after our run was over, I realized that I should go with my heart. Listening to Dragonsong arranged with more percussion and emotion (brass/piano) made me realize a lot of things. Heavensward as a whole brought me closer to a lot of other people whom I consider good friends of mine. It brought me much closer to Noi in ways I wouldn’t have dreamed of three years ago. Talking about our experiences with the soundtrack, a few of us singing the soundtrack to each other, going “whoa” at some new pieces of music, and gabbing a whole lot about different parts of it made me realized that maybe it’s not so bad to go with your heart once in a while. From a technical perspective, Heavensward’s soundtrack is not perfect. It definitely has a few duds. Speaking from standpoint reflective of soundtrack cohesion, while Heavensward elects to use Dragonsong everywhere throughout its entire soundtrack, it isn’t successful in some areas, and it ends up being dragged down because of it (ex: Sohm Al; this is an arrangement for the sake of an arrangement to me). Heavensward’s highs more than make up for its inadequacies, however. This soundtrack, despite essentially being a motif arrangement soundtrack, demonstrates that Soken has grown very much as a composer since A Realm Reborn. And patch content demonstrates that he still is growing. I look forward to seeing what Soken does next, and I genuinely hope that he gets attached to a mainline single-player Final Fantasy game for everyone to experience his work.

#soty2015 #undertale #finalfantasyxiv #heavensward

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verdigrisprowl · 6 years

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Nov 27 Dancitron Movie Night - The Jungle Book

Prowl was pretty much out of it all night. His deep suspicion of singing dogs and his inability to tell dogs from other mammals made the movie more unpleasant than it otherwise would have been.

Prowl is baffled at how long it takes people to be considered fully mature in Soundwave’s universe. Then again, he was sent off to become a police officer at like five days old.

Today ItsyBitsySpyers 7:50 pm *Soundwave's itching to move again, but there's no way he's doing that right now - so he's just sitting on his usual couch with a feeler lightly tapping in time* *Drinks and snacks where they usually are, minis where they usually are, all that.* Swoop 7:51 pm *is comparatively clean, put together, and stapler gun free tonight* Swoop 7:53 pm *scoops up a huge stack of snacks and toddles on over to Bird* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:55 pm *Soundwave is thankful for that. His mind is six places tonight and none of them are handling Crazed Dinobot Toddler Shenanigans.* *Bird is jamming out to the music right now, but she'll somehow fit popping the occasional treat into her mouth into it all, along with a whistled greeting* Swoop 7:56 pm *is all giggles and heart-eyes while he bobs along with Bird* Specs 7:56 pm *what's this? a whole cartful of treats! who wants mercury drops, energon truffles with soft silver centers, and cookies with delicate mercury and silver additions?* Bevel 7:58 pm *trundles in* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:58 pm *ZORI DOES! Brave scorpion leap from the nearest couch back onto the cart 😄 * *Frenzy waves yo to Bevel* Bevel 7:59 pm *waves* Specs 7:59 pm Help yourself, friend! 😄 *it's always nice to see people snacking happily* Bevel 8:00 pm Thanks! *will take something with mercury and join the twins at the usual table* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:01 pm #thank you #:D

*He will try to pick up a cookie that's like 1/4th his size and hold it overhead with his pincers. It won't quite work. Bonk to the head and startled beep.* Specs 8:02 pm *the dragon will try not to grin at how adorable Zori is* You okay there? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:02 pm #oh yes #I am fine #can you break this? #please? *Holds the cookie out* Bevel 8:03 pm *dances a little in her seat to the music* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:03 pm *Frenzy and Rumble join in a little. They're tired, but if their seatmate is dancing, why not?* Swoop 8:04 pm You Bird good dancer <3 Bevel 8:04 pm *grins* Specs 8:04 pm I can! *the dragon delicately snaps the cookie in half* Again, or is this good? *she probably should have worn gloves for this. oops.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:04 pm {{Best dancer!}} Preen preen. Swoop 8:04 pm Best EVERYTHING! Magnum Ace 8:05 pm -pings Soundwave for permission- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:05 pm *Zori holds the cookie up one more time to compare it to himself and whistles happily.* #it is good! #thank you~ *Soundwave casually pops a bridge open for the Leaguers, about fifty feet from the door just to be safe.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:06 pm *Little arachnid mouthparts nom nom nomming that cookie while still on the tray. It's a good viewing point. He'll watch from here.* Specs 8:07 pm Always happy to help out a friend! *the dragon delicately brushes residue off her paws while trying to be subtle about it. she licks those sometimes, better not have energon on them when she does!* *she'll sit near the tray. Swoop probably won't crush her here, and she gets to hang out with her favorite scorpion! win/win* FakeProwl 8:08 pm *shows up, sits down, props his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands, zones out.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:08 pm ((10 minute warning, grab your snacks and stuff)) Magnum Ace 8:08 pm -and he's going to trot through the bridge- Bull 8:08 pm *Follows in after Magnum* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:09 pm *Soundwave pings Prowl hello before resuming the tiny timing taps.* Magnum Ace 8:11 pm -time to find a seat- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:11 pm [[Greetings, you two.]] Magnum Ace 8:11 pm Hello, Soundwave Bull 8:12 pm Hello. *he waves up to the bigger mech* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:12 pm [[How are your sports events going?]] Swoop 8:12 pm ((do i want Cheetos or ice cream)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:13 pm ((both)) Swoop 8:13 pm ((sick)) Magnum Ace 8:13 pm ((BOTH Swoop 8:13 pm ((LOL)) Bevel 8:13 pm *likes this songs greatly* Swoop 8:13 pm ((well the audience has voted and it is a clear tie. I suppose I must.)) ((mint ice cream and white cheddar cheedos)) ((pregnant food)) Magnum Ace 8:13 pm ((haha! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:13 pm ((just needs a pickle)) Swoop 8:14 pm ((I have olives)) Magnum Ace 8:14 pm ((that works Specs 8:14 pm ((I didn't know this song was real)) FakeProwl 8:14 pm ((... did you think it was a fake song...?)) Specs 8:15 pm ((to be entirely honest, I put it in the category of "shit I made up in my sleep")) FakeProwl 8:15 pm ((oh lmao)) Magnum Ace 8:15 pm Our games are mostly practice ones right now Specs 8:16 pm ((some songs just show up when I'm sleeping and get stuck in my head, there's one that's like "I need an SOS you'll be my SOS" and I don't think that song exists, and there's others too)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:16 pm [[Ah. You are not battling actual teams right now?]] *Listen to him. Battling. Like it's an arena match. Clearly not a sports mech.* FakeProwl 8:17 pm *mumbles* Playing. Magnum Ace 8:17 pm ...they're games, not warfare ItsyBitsySpyers 8:17 pm ((i know three songs about SOS's)) Swoop 8:18 pm *shoves an entire handful of goodies in his face like the mannerless child he is* Bull 8:18 pm *Bull Armor knew that some they had been through could be considered 'battles' but says nother* Bevel 8:18 pm ((there's also a band called the S.O.S. Band)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:18 pm *Soundwave looks over to Prowl, briefly confused before he realizes it's about how he worded things.*

[[Oh. Yes. Playing.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 8:19 pm ((OKAY warnings... tbh i don't remember, i watched this months and months ago. fire and violence and tigers threatening to eat kids and bees and falls from heights and things like that.)) Swoop 8:20 pm ((sounds like swoop's day to day life)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:20 pm ((i am pretty sure y'all have at least seen the old one, not terribly different)) Magnum Ace 8:20 pm But, yes, mostly practice right now ((m'kay! Swoop 8:20 pm ((Not only have I seen the old one. I've seen the video my parents took of me as a toddler ROCKING OUT to the Bear Necessities. I'll never be able to escape that dance.)) Bevel 8:21 pm ((lol ItsyBitsySpyers 8:21 pm ((i have learned something new and powerful today)) [[May your practices be promising for the coming matches.]] He's pretty sure matches is still the right word. FakeProwl 8:22 pm *mumbles* Games. Specs 8:22 pm *the dragon's eyes widen* It's so green. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:22 pm *Ravage pops his head over the bar, then runs over to Soundwave to park himself on the empty side of the couch. He knows this. There's a him in it.* Bull 8:23 pm Thanks, it'll be awhile til we play another game. Swoop 8:23 pm Him on Dinobot Island? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:24 pm *Damn. Still wrong.*

[[Games.]] Magnum Ace 8:24 pm Thank you, but as Bull said, our season is over for now. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:24 pm {{Nooo, no Dinobots.}} Swoop 8:24 pm No Dinobots on Dinobot Island NOW. Decepticons broke island. Us leave. FakeProwl 8:25 pm *absent-mindedly pats Soundwave's knee, then props his chin up again.* Specs 8:25 pm They're fuzzy, there must be snow SOMEWHERE... Swoop 8:26 pm ((thank goodness there's no steeljaw here, they would have got a howl going)) Specs 8:27 pm *the dragon hums contemplatively. how could anything be so dry?* Swoop 8:27 pm Oh, him a .... porky pine. Kehehhh. It like Him Snarl. Poke! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:27 pm *Amused huff at the knee pat. At least Prowl was polite about correcting him.*

{{This long ago time story, no Dinobots.}} //Looks like you, Frenzy.//

\\I LIKE IT.\\ Specs 8:28 pm *the dragon gasps delightedly at the crocodile* It's a cousin! ...Well, kind of. No wings on it. Swoop 8:28 pm No Dinobot > : Them thirsty Swoop 8:30 pm You Bird not a good wolf. You tricky! Keheheh! Specs 8:30 pm *giggles* Hatchlings are all the same, aren't they. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:30 pm {{Peh, wolf.}} Swoop 8:30 pm Wolf lame. No flying. Specs 8:33 pm What a good docent. Swoop 8:33 pm Why tiger mad? Magnum Ace 8:33 pm ..... ItsyBitsySpyers 8:33 pm @Prowl: (txt): Tired today? Specs 8:34 pm *gasps again at the crocodile* Weird wingless cousin! I hope it lives. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:34 pm [[Humans do not belong in their spaces.]] Swoop 8:34 pm Why? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:34 pm #what is cousin? FakeProwl 8:34 pm @Soundwave «Yes.» Bevel 8:35 pm He said a human hurt him. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:35 pm *Small acknowledgment nod. He'll try not to be too taxing today.* Swoop 8:35 pm So? Specs 8:35 pm Most, well, dragons, aren't furry like me. Still the same shape, mostly. Four legs, thumbs, wings, tail, head. And most of our kinds can't make viable eggs together. So we call each other cousins. Specs 8:37 pm *gets a little emotional about the docent. that's the best of what a docent is supposed to be, poor wolf* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:37 pm #the Bagheera is a cousin? #to Ravage? Swoop 8:37 pm *rolls over so he can sprawl out properly with the goodies set out in front of him and his chin in his hands* Specs 8:37 pm *looks over at Ravage* *looks back at Bagheera* I think you should ask him. Magnum Ace 8:38 pm -coughing laugh at the cousin question- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:38 pm =...Passable.= Swoop 8:39 pm *flicks his wings* There birds in movie? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:39 pm {{Maybe. We see.}} Specs 8:39 pm *the dragon smiles a little* That's our answer, Zori. Magnum Ace 8:40 pm !!! Swoop 8:40 pm *perks up* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:41 pm =Memories.= Swoop 8:41 pm Him going die kehehh Way too slow FakeProwl 8:41 pm *Prowl's rooting for the dog that looks like Ravage.* Specs 8:41 pm *the dragon, too, is supremely confident that Bagheera will win that fight* Magnum Ace 8:41 pm -it's like him attempting to outrun Mach Windy, insane- Swoop 8:41 pm ((long live the king)) Magnum Ace 8:41 pm ((SWOOP NO Bull 8:42 pm Kid; please stay away from the horns. *knows how dangerous they can be* Specs 8:42 pm He did not stay away from the horns. Swoop 8:42 pm KEHEH! That fun. Me Swoop jump on other Dinobot that way before. GRAB! Magnum Ace 8:42 pm He apparently decided to do just that Bull 8:43 pm At least their horns don't move. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:43 pm *Ravage paws the couch in thought.*

=Hm. Stripes. Should find him. Speak.= Magnum Ace 8:43 pm True. That would have been bad ItsyBitsySpyers 8:44 pm *Soundwave gently strokes Ravage's back. They will look for him later, when this is over.* Swoop 8:45 pm ((jesus christ)) Bull 8:45 pm ! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:45 pm #D: #no! #why? Magnum Ace 8:45 pm -startled upright- Swoop 8:45 pm *cackles* DEAD Specs 8:45 pm *the dragon barely blinks* Because that's how people with more teeth in their skulls than brains solve problems. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:45 pm *Zori tries to burrow into the cookies.* Swoop 8:46 pm *rooolls over onto his back, giggling, then spreads his wings out as far as they will go for maximum floor coverage* *tosses a treat up for Bird* Specs 8:46 pm *she carefully covers Zori with cookies. he is safe. she will fight anyone who bothers him* Whirl 8:46 pm *trots on in, heading for the usual table. Are Shovel and the Gang seated there tonight?* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:46 pm *Nom nom treat!* Bevel 8:46 pm *they are* Swoop 8:46 pm *makes grabby hands at Bird* Magnum Ace 8:46 pm -reaches over to pat at Bull- Bevel 8:46 pm *waves to Whirl* Whirl 8:46 pm *excellent; he will bob his head at his table buddies as he sits* Magnum Ace 8:47 pm -best to not look- Specs 8:47 pm *the dragon hides her head under her tail at all the drowning* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:48 pm *The twins will punch Whirl hello. Zori will whistle and wave* Swoop 8:48 pm You Soundwave always pick movies with no flying! Kehheh. Them have wings, them have nooo problem! Whirl 8:48 pm *he accepts and welcomes the punches; Zori will get the greeting-beep in response* ((o boy. the most hilarious miscast of the film)) Specs 8:48 pm Waterlogged wings are a bit of a- *gasp* A skin! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:48 pm //Ew. What the frag.// Swoop 8:48 pm Lidard Whirl 8:48 pm ((i like scarjo but her voice was a bad fit for thissun)) Swoop 8:48 pm *Lizard Bevel 8:49 pm Skin? Specs 8:49 pm Usually you are supposed to eat those, really. There's too much you lose by leaving them out in the open. Well, so the cousins say. I don't shed my skin. Whirl 8:49 pm *peers at the dragon* Is that what you do? Just. Shuck it all off sometimes? Oh, well, nevermind. Question answered. Bevel 8:49 pm I thought skin kept organic organs inside? Specs 8:50 pm I think it helps with healing their scales? I'm not very clear on that. I know my skin is more elastic than theirs would be. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:50 pm \\MAYBE SOMEBODY KILLED IT.\\ Specs 8:50 pm It would have color if it was killed! That's just the top layer, I think? I'm not sure how that works. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:50 pm //Heh! I like whatever these fraggers are.// Swoop 8:50 pm Keheh them STEAL Bevel 8:50 pm *laughs* Whirl 8:51 pm Sneaky little glitches. Heh. Specs 8:51 pm *the dragon has to laugh too. what a trick!* Whirl 8:51 pm I guess that's how you weaponize cuteness. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:51 pm //Wouldn't know nothin' bout that, would we?//

{{No~}} Specs 8:51 pm *the dragon fluffs her fur out and looks at Whirl with them big ol eyes* Weaponized cuteness? What's that? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:52 pm @Prowl: (txt): Why tired? Rest disturbed? Swoop 8:52 pm Oh It snake ItsyBitsySpyers 8:52 pm *Chimera flaps down from above, intrigued by the appearance of a snake, and has a minor explosion to reform itself appropriately. Mimic them, and all that.* Magnum Ace 8:52 pm .... Whirl 8:52 pm *regards her, deadpan* Something that doesn't work on me. Bull 8:52 pm That's a big snake. Whirl 8:52 pm *a lie, it does. Zori defeated Whirl with his cuteness alone* Specs 8:53 pm Damn. *the dragon looks back at the snake* Do those live in trees, on earth? They look like things that live in the oceans where I live... Swoop 8:53 pm Eyes Magnum Ace 8:53 pm Glad we didn't run into any on the island Specs 8:53 pm ...They don't do that, though. Swoop 8:53 pm Fire Bird Bird Look, them live in cave too Magnum Ace 8:54 pm There's the explanation FakeProwl 8:54 pm *It takes him a moment to register the question.* @Soundwave «... More or less.» Whirl 8:55 pm Oh, hey. Didn't know Ravage was in this movie. Bevel 8:55 pm Ha Swoop 8:55 pm Kehehh Him touch teeth Specs 8:55 pm *blinks, and looks at Ravage* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:55 pm @Prowl: (txt): Source? =What.= FakeProwl 8:56 pm @Soundwave «Insomnia.» Whirl 8:56 pm ((speaking of hungry pythons it's Jerry's dinnertime)) Swoop 8:56 pm Nose Specs 8:56 pm ...Actually, nevermind. *the dragon looks back at the screen* FakeProwl 8:56 pm ((that's definitely a bear, it sounds the same as in skyrim)) Specs 8:56 pm ((jerry! jerry! jerry!)) Swoop 8:56 pm Him live in cave tooooooooo Specs 8:56 pm That's what those scaly noodles do. They coil. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:57 pm @Prowl: (txt): Unpleasant. Assistance required-wanted? Swoop 8:57 pm HIm kid ask lots, lots of question ItsyBitsySpyers 8:57 pm <<The Kaa is a serpent. The Kaa is not food.>> Whirl 8:57 pm *was that Chimera speaking? How rare; Whirl looks over* Magnum Ace 8:57 pm Oh He's sending him after a beehive That's a bad idea Specs 8:58 pm Sorry, Chimera. I meant that as shape, not as edibility. *the dragon blinks* Winter is not coming. There is no snow. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:58 pm *Chimera's first third is swaying in the air while they process the existence of the Kaa.* Specs 8:59 pm *the dragon offers Chimera a pat* Bevel 8:59 pm *trying to figure out if Kaa is bigger than Chimera* FakeProwl 8:59 pm @Soundwave «... None available.» Magnum Ace 8:59 pm -pokes Bull- -cover your eyes- Swoop 9:00 pm bumblebees ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm *That was a much... MUCH bigger snake than they are. But they may be able to learn how to protect themselves by squeezing. As soon as they finish thinking about the idea.* Specs 9:00 pm *the dragon stares at the beehives in fascination* Are those edible? ((I love that line)) Bull 9:00 pm ugh... heights Specs 9:01 pm Well, clearly THAT'S edible. Whirl 9:01 pm Just about anything is edible if you're determined enough. Swoop 9:01 pm ((gross lol)) Bevel 9:02 pm *will put a hand out for Chimera if they're interested* Magnum Ace 9:03 pm -nudges Bull again- It's safe ItsyBitsySpyers 9:04 pm *Soundwave tilts his helm - he could interfere with the schedule if Prowl needed a few days to try to find recharge - but if Prowl says none is available, he will not push the matter. Prowl knows himself.*

*Chimera slithers around Bevel's arm and enters energy conservation mode.* Swoop 9:04 pm propaganda Specs 9:04 pm *the dragon cackles. she likes this movie* Bevel 9:04 pm *best kind of jewelry* Whirl 9:04 pm Welcome to the best table in the house, Chimera. *gestures expansively* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:05 pm *Optic flicker.*

<<Thank you, the Whirl. Why is it best?>> Bevel 9:05 pm Because we are all here! Whirl 9:05 pm All the coolest people are here. Hell yeah, Shovel gets it! Bevel 9:06 pm *grins* Swoop 9:06 pm tricky Specs 9:07 pm Winter is a long time away. I can't believe there's no snow. *winces. the poor docent.* Swoop 9:07 pm Him Tiger eat puppies ItsyBitsySpyers 9:07 pm <<The shapeshifter is warm.>>

[[The less snow, the better.]] Swoop 9:07 pm Oh there birds Bull 9:07 pm I have a bad feeling... Magnum Ace 9:07 pm . . . Bevel 9:08 pm Not nice. Whirl 9:08 pm Figure of speech. It means, basically, awesome. Specs 9:09 pm *winces again* I hope the docent doesn't die. Swoop 9:09 pm *chirps back at the screen* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:09 pm //So that's what kinda Earth bird the 'Beak is. Huh.// Swoop 9:10 pm kehehehhh Him bear lazy Whirl 9:10 pm *snickers* Swoop 9:10 pm like Snarl ItsyBitsySpyers 9:10 pm *Raspberry* Specs 9:10 pm *the dragon wiggles and taps her front paws* FakeProwl 9:11 pm *There's music. Why's there music.* *IT'S A SINGING DOG.* Bevel 9:11 pm ((omg ItsyBitsySpyers 9:11 pm ((i'm dying)) FakeProwl 9:11 pm *Prowl can't escape them.* Swoop 9:11 pm *giggles* Specs 9:11 pm *the dragon tries to sing along, but she is a bad singer and has never heard this song before. please bear with her* Swoop 9:11 pm *tosses a treat in the air for himself* Swoop 9:12 pm ((fucking brutal XD)) Specs 9:13 pm ((destroyed)) *snickers* *bagheera's like a docent version of ravage* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:13 pm *Just about as cranky too.* Swoop 9:14 pm Why cat mad? Bevel 9:14 pm Tricks? Specs 9:15 pm *hums the bare necessities song- badly* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm [[The bear is ruining his plan to move the human to the human land.]] Magnum Ace 9:15 pm Because the one he was protecting was played as a fool Swoop 9:15 pm Cats can tricky. Ravage tricky. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm *Ravage flicks his tail and sticks his nose in the air, optics closing briefly. Yes. Yes, he is.* Specs 9:16 pm ((elephants don't growl)) Whirl 9:16 pm Those things're cool. Specs 9:16 pm They look a little bit like one of the cousins, too. But not very. They don't have long tails, or wings. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:18 pm [[Why they do not kill the tiger and allow the human to stay and assist is beyond him.]] Swoop 9:18 pm It baby elephant Specs 9:18 pm ((bear dad and panther dad)) I can't imagine that Bagheera would lose to the tiger. Whirl 9:18 pm Honestly, yeah. The tiger's big, but there are a LOT of them. Maybe even trick him into that snake's pit. Bevel 9:19 pm Even if Bagheera could not beat him, I bet everyone together could. Whirl 9:19 pm Yeah. Especially now that Mowgli's done those big guys a favor. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:19 pm [[The... elephants? Are enormous beasts. Surely a stampede would destroy the tiger.]] Whirl 9:19 pm They could definitely take the tiger in a fight. Bevel 9:19 pm They could do it as thanks for saving the baby! Specs 9:20 pm Mmm. They're big, but size isn't everything. Magnum Ace 9:21 pm They're all scared of the tiger Whirl 9:21 pm It's not, but it doesn't hurt to be huge. *he would know, he is huge* Magnum Ace 9:22 pm His large reputation keeps them at bay Specs 9:22 pm It doesn't hurt to have teeth, and claws, either. Whirl 9:22 pm ...huh. Swoop 9:22 pm Kehehhehhhhh Them grab Specs 9:22 pm And, clearly, thumbs help too. Magnum Ace 9:22 pm That too, but I bet the reputation is what keeps the larger animals at bay ItsyBitsySpyers 9:22 pm =Thumbs are overrated.= Whirl 9:22 pm Agreed. Swoop 9:23 pm Him Ratchet say thumbs in medbay *flops his wings around* ' Specs 9:23 pm Not everything in the universe can be as awesome as you two, however. Us lesser beings need thumbs. Whirl 9:23 pm That's fair, that's fair. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:23 pm {{Him Ratchet smart medic, you listen.}} Swoop 9:23 pm Kehehhheheh Me know Bevel 9:23 pm *wiggles her thumbs absently* Swoop 9:23 pm Him best medic ever Specs 9:25 pm After all, a universe full of Ravage and Whirl? That would be... *wracks her brains for the word she's looking for* indescribable. Whirl 9:25 pm It would be loud. Swoop 9:25 pm Kehehhh Specs 9:25 pm Ravage isn't loud? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:25 pm //Naw. That's a universe fulla Frenzy.// Whirl 9:25 pm I'm loud enough for me AND Rava-PFFT. Swoop 9:25 pm Flying way way better than climb Whirl 9:25 pm Frenzy is loud enough for all the rest of us put together. He's a damn professional. Swoop 9:26 pm ((i am excite)) Specs 9:26 pm Some dragons climb glaciers without using their wings, Swoop. *the dragon huffs a little, though. she thinks it's stupid too.* Magnum Ace 9:26 pm ? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:26 pm =Me. Loud.= Scorn snort. =Never.=

\\EVERYBODY GOTTA HAVE A LIFE CALLIN'.\\ *Frenzy puffs his chest out.* //Needs more cowbell, I guess.// Whirl 9:26 pm ((omg)) Swoop 9:26 pm ((NEEDS MORE COWBELL)) ((o m f g )) Specs 9:27 pm ((moar cowbell)) Whirl 9:27 pm Holy--he's even BIGGER. That Tiger wouldn't stand a chance. Magnum Ace 9:27 pm ....they're not supposed to get that big Specs 9:27 pm I don't think he can leave that building... He's too big. Bevel 9:28 pm That is a really big monkey. Swoop 9:28 pm ((YES)) Specs 9:28 pm ((he's the mobster orangutan)) Swoop 9:28 pm Him King? Magnum Ace 9:28 pm They're not supposed to get that /big/ Specs 9:29 pm *giggles* Ears in his ears! Swoop 9:30 pm (( OH MY GOD)) ((this is actually the best)) Whirl 9:30 pm Well. Specs 9:30 pm *wiggles and taps again* you--o-o-o Whirl 9:30 pm His singing could definitely kill the tiger. Swoop 9:31 pm Him want fire a lot... It not hard. *blows just one little puff of a flame that goes right out* Magnum Ace 9:32 pm ... Bevel 9:32 pm *laughs* Swoop 9:32 pm ((that squint is so walken)) Specs 9:32 pm *the dragon giggles too* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:33 pm *Rumble dims his visor and affects a hoarser voice.*

//But, now ya come to me, and ya say, "King Louie, give me papayas." But ya don't ask wit' respect. Ya don't offer red flowers. Ya don't even think to call me Gigantopithecus. Instead, ya come into my ruins on the day you're s'posed to go to the village, and ya ask me to give fruits for nothin'.// Bevel 9:33 pm *giggles* Specs 9:33 pm *cackles* Whirl 9:33 pm *BURSTS OUT LAUGHING* FakeProwl 9:33 pm ((PFFF)) Swoop 9:34 pm *doesn't know why we are laughing but laughs anyway* Whirl 9:34 pm Nice, Rumble. A classic. Bevel 9:34 pm Monkey army. Specs 9:34 pm It's like a sport. Whack-a-monkey. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:34 pm //We gotta do that one some t-- aw yeah, monkey fight.// Magnum Ace 9:34 pm !!! Whirl 9:34 pm Not a bad Brando either. Specs 9:34 pm If he's big enough to break rocks, he's big enough to kill a tiger. Whirl 9:35 pm And yeah, we should. Maybe we can swing another Culture Club sometime. Yeah, he'd pulverize that tiger. Swoop 9:35 pm Why them say human has fire? Him not dinobot. There no human fire. *pats his throat* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:35 pm {{Humans make fire.}} Specs 9:36 pm *the dragon attempts to imitate the monkey squeaking* Swoop 9:36 pm Not MAKE. Not ... *lacks words so he just pats his mouth* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:36 pm {{Noooo, them use sticks. Little wood.}} Swoop 9:36 pm Monkey can't wood? Specs 9:36 pm Oh. Swoop 9:36 pm KAHA! Dead. Magnum Ace 9:37 pm ..... Specs 9:37 pm This is why you don't live in buildings too big for you. Swoop 9:38 pm Him not so fast. Cat catch. Magnum Ace 9:38 pm He's got a long head start though ItsyBitsySpyers 9:38 pm {{Them monkey not knowing how make wood-fire.}} Swoop 9:39 pm Why not? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:39 pm {{Nobody teach.}} Swoop 9:39 pm Ohh Okay Windchill 9:39 pm *Is LATE to a movie with FIRE?! Wow what a tragedy.* Whirl 9:40 pm See, this is how you get revenge. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:40 pm [[This will not end well.]] Bevel 9:40 pm If he runs too fast that fire will go out. Swoop 9:40 pm FIRE! kehehh Whirl 9:40 pm Burn absolutely everything to the ground and annihilate your enemy. Windchill 9:40 pm *Time to sit his booty down.* Specs 9:40 pm Get revenge by consuming your foe and everything they created. Whirl 9:40 pm *bobs his head at Windchill* Swoop 9:40 pm Him burn cat. Tiger. Whirl 9:40 pm Yep. ...maybe literally, depending on who you are. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:40 pm [[There it is.]] Magnum Ace 9:41 pm .... Bevel 9:41 pm Oh no. Whirl 9:41 pm pretty sure my pal Blurr takes "consume your foe" to a whole new level. Windchill 9:41 pm *Does the Pocahontas wave and takes a seat.* Magnum Ace 9:41 pm -doesn't like Blurr much, thanks- Windchill 9:41 pm Look at all of those pretend animals. *snorts* Magnum Ace 9:42 pm ....... Swoop 9:42 pm ((OH MY FUCKING GOD CHILD)) Whirl 9:42 pm Damn right. Magnum Ace 9:42 pm ((damnit kid Specs 9:42 pm Why doesn't he just attack Shere Khan? Windchill 9:42 pm He's wearing a diaper? Wow what a baby. Whirl 9:42 pm Nothing wrong with being the scariest thing in the jungle. Windchill 9:42 pm I'm impressed. Swoop 9:43 pm Him burn everything Magnum Ace 9:43 pm ((gdi kid Whirl 9:43 pm I mean, I'd do exactly what the tiger asked. Windchill 9:43 pm *chinhands.* *Wolves are overrated but okay.* Specs 9:44 pm I agree. The tiger wants to be destroyed? Fine by me. Whirl 9:44 pm Should've burned him when he gave you the chance. Swoop 9:44 pm Him bear lazy. Not lots of fighting. Tiger better. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:44 pm *Ravage snorts. Being a wolf and having a pack didn't save the lupine Steeljaw from him and the others.* Windchill 9:45 pm Pathetic. Bevel 9:45 pm Ha, distraction. Magnum Ace 9:45 pm -shouldn't they be trying to put out the fire?- Specs 9:45 pm *the dragon giggles a little. get him, earth ravage!* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:45 pm *Hiss.* Swoop 9:46 pm Everything burning really fast for GREEN leaves and stuff. Whirl 9:46 pm If the fire's hot enough, I guess. Windchill 9:46 pm Can he even breathe up there? Specs 9:47 pm Things being dry helps. But I can't imagine he can breathe up there. I couldn't, anyways. On the other paw, I would also probably be on fire, so. Windchill 9:47 pm Or see. His eyes would be watering enough to put out the fires all by themselves. Swoop 9:47 pm Being on fire pretty fun Windchill 9:47 pm Unrealistic. Specs 9:47 pm You're made of metal, Swoop. I am not. Swoop 9:48 pm Fire fun for everyone : > Magnum Ace 9:48 pm The tiger is not paying attention to danger Specs 9:48 pm ... *the dragon scoots away from the dinobot* Magnum Ace 9:48 pm He's too focused on revenge And no, fire is not fun for everyone Windchill 9:48 pm What the heck kind of tree looks like that? Kinda cool. I mean, for a tree. Specs 9:49 pm Ravage's cousin said it was a fig creeper? Windchill 9:49 pm *Maybe he'll look it up later.* Magnum Ace 9:49 pm -says the mech who sets one of his pitches on fire- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:50 pm =Poor hunter. No calm.= *Even in the prison riot, Ravage kept his cool while slaughtering the guards.* =No patience.= Windchill 9:50 pm Dirty boys. Swoop 9:50 pm That bad perch Magnum Ace 9:50 pm Dead tree Swoop 9:50 pm Creak creak Specs 9:50 pm That's why your cousin should have beaten him. u_u Magnum Ace 9:50 pm It's going to break Swoop 9:51 pm KAHHAHHAHH DEAD Specs 9:51 pm Dead. Whirl 9:51 pm Nice. Windchill 9:51 pm I guess he was flammable. Bevel 9:51 pm He won with tricks. Specs 9:51 pm If he's furry, he's flammable. Trust me. Swoop 9:51 pm Swing over fire look fun : > ItsyBitsySpyers 9:51 pm *Half-squint. Good. That would have been a fine lesson, if the tiger were Cybertronian. Too bad he's a flesh creature.* Bevel 9:51 pm Really good trick. Windchill 9:52 pm Ah yes, the fire that conveniently douses itself. Oh never mind, there it is. Kinda. Swoop 9:52 pm Bird Me Swoop want swing to play Whirl 9:52 pm ((the lick. bless)) Specs 9:52 pm ((bless panther and bear dad)) Windchill 9:52 pm Um. Bevel 9:52 pm ((I didn't notice that the last time Specs 9:53 pm *the dragon giggles a little. look at those proud docents. it's adorable.* Windchill 9:53 pm That is a giant baby elephant. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:53 pm *Soundwave leans forward a little. Are they building a-- they are. How fascinating. Do actual elephants do this?* Magnum Ace 9:54 pm Oh, wow Specs 9:54 pm Go clean off the hatchling, docent wolf. Windchill 9:54 pm Yeah okay. Swoop 9:54 pm There lot of wolves not lots of other animal who they eat Windchill 9:54 pm The wolves ate everyone else already? Swoop 9:55 pm kehehe, maybe! Specs 9:56 pm *gentle gasp* Docent wolf is the leader! Bevel 9:56 pm Or they mostly stay away. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:57 pm #:O #he did not go away! #that is a good end #I like it Swoop 9:57 pm ((oh, does he not go back in this one?)) Specs 9:57 pm *wiggles and taps* It looks like he doesn't, Zori! Windchill 9:57 pm Oh my god. Magnum Ace 9:57 pm That was...interesting Swoop 9:57 pm *bounces* Windchill 9:58 pm *Is that...it must be.* *His one true fear.* Bull 9:58 pm It wasn't too bad. Windchill 9:58 pm *CHRISTOPHER WALKEN.* *Goes bugeyed in horror.* Specs 9:58 pm *gets to gently flapping wings along with her boogeying* Bevel 9:59 pm *nods along to music* Magnum Ace 9:59 pm -settles again- Windchill 9:59 pm *What manner of evil is this?* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:59 pm #rude!! #they were walking! Swoop 10:00 pm KA! Book catch him. Windchill 10:00 pm *Horror has settled into a kind of annoyance.* *Finally, it's gone.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:00 pm [[Ah. So this is where this song is from.]] Windchill 10:01 pm Well. That was a movie I guess. Swoop 10:01 pm That movie pretty good. Even if no birds. Or dinosaurs. Or both. Windchill 10:01 pm There was a peacock. Swoop 10:01 pm Yeah Windchill 10:01 pm That's a bird. Swoop 10:01 pm but Windchill 10:01 pm I think. Swoop 10:01 pm him not do anything Windchill 10:01 pm That's true. Lazy bird. Swoop 10:02 pm Kehheh Bird not laaaaaaazy Her busy busy with eating keheh ItsyBitsySpyers 10:02 pm *Soundwave idly wonders if the serpent was telepathic. That eye trick was impressive.* Windchill 10:02 pm *Uses every last iota of control to not roll his eyeballs.* Eating is a good thing to be busy with. Swoop 10:03 pm yup Windchill 10:03 pm What if... I eat you? Swoop 10:03 pm No Specs 10:03 pm *the dragon stretches out* I think it's time to go back, before Whirl's friend eats me. Goodnight, everyone! *pat for Zori! pat for Chimera!* Swoop 10:04 pm Me Swoop keheh Me bite YOU Windchill 10:04 pm Yeah, I might just. Swoop 10:04 pm noOoo ItsyBitsySpyers 10:04 pm *Zori bleeps a goodbye, waving a pincer.*

#thank you for the cookie Windchill 10:04 pm Up and start eating people without warning. Whirl 10:04 pm Seeya, dragon. Swoop 10:04 pm That Grimlock thing kehehh Windchill 10:04 pm It could happen. Swoop 10:04 pm You not king Whirl 10:04 pm Windchill, I'm hoping you have enough self-control not to devour my friends. Windchill 10:04 pm *Waves at the retreating tasty morsel.* Specs 10:04 pm Always a pleasure to make cookies for my favorite micron. Seeya, Whirl! Windchill 10:05 pm Do you see me actively eating your friends right now? Whirl 10:05 pm *bobs his head goodbye* Windchill 10:05 pm They don't even look tasty. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:05 pm *Tiny gasp! Zori is a favorite? He's just gonna wiggle.* Whirl 10:05 pm No, but just because you're not up to doing something ridiculous NOW doesn't mean you won't later. Windchill 10:05 pm Well. Whirl 10:05 pm I know you too well. Windchill 10:05 pm To be fair. Swoop 10:05 pm *streeeeeeeeeeeeetches all his scrawny limbs out in many directions* *wings everywhere* Windchill 10:05 pm I haven't eaten anyone in a long time so it's either not really a problem, or I'm overdue. I guess we'll see. Wait. No. Do greyfaces count as people? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:06 pm [[Only some of them.]] Swoop 10:06 pm lots of people has GREY face Windchill 10:06 pm Oh, well. I've definitely eaten a few of those. Bevel 10:06 pm Greyfaces are annoying. Windchill 10:07 pm They don't mess with me much anymore, so. It paid off. Whirl 10:07 pm I don't count 'em as such, nope. Bull 10:07 pm 'Greyfaces'? *Bull Armor looks curious. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:07 pm [[Yes. They do seem to be quiet these days.]] Pause. [[He's not sure that is a good thing. It never has been before.]] Magnum Ace 10:07 pm They're annoying Windchill 10:08 pm Let's just say that I'm probably not planning on eating anyone. It's not really healthy for me. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:08 pm //Greyfaces. Y'know, the weird little grey things poppin' up sometimes, doin' 'n sayin' weird scrap.// Swoop 10:08 pm Not healthy for THEM kehhehh ItsyBitsySpyers 10:08 pm //Pow, 'n suddenly you got baseballs for eyes or somethin'.// Magnum Ace 10:08 pm Bull, the three days I couldn't practice was because of them Bevel 10:08 pm They do not bother me. *pleased* Windchill 10:08 pm Swoop's got the right idea. FakeProwl 10:08 pm *hears his name, looks up* ??? Bull 10:08 pm I have not run into any of them before. *unless they were talking about Sharky-dorgs* Swoop 10:09 pm Me Swoop have LOTS of right idea FakeProwl 10:09 pm *... no wait, that was "pow," not "Prowl." zones out again.* Windchill 10:09 pm I don't know about that, kiddo. Oh wait, excuse me. Swoop 10:09 pm :V Windchill 10:09 pm Not kiddo. Whirl 10:09 pm They've turned me into a bird at least once. Windchill 10:09 pm You're a big boy now. Swoop 10:09 pm Yah me Swoop have BIRTHDAY Whirl 10:09 pm But that was kinda fun, to be honest. Windchill 10:09 pm You're an old fart now! Swoop 10:09 pm Yup ItsyBitsySpyers 10:09 pm {{Bird remembers Whirlybird. Neheheheh. Skritches.}} Swoop 10:09 pm Me Swoop am 33 YEARS now Whirl 10:10 pm *immediately squints at Laserbeak. How dare you* Magnum Ace 10:10 pm I've heard they also turn you into humans on occasion Whirl 10:10 pm *but I mean. U right* Windchill 10:10 pm The bird was...I think I slept through most of that. Did I? Swoop 10:10 pm Scritches? 😮 Windchill 10:10 pm *Looks mildly alarmed.* Swoop 10:10 pm *where are they he wants the scritches* Windchill 10:11 pm *Windchill has claws he can scritch like a DEMON.* Bevel 10:11 pm They turned my creator into a human once. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:11 pm *Fight her, Whirl. She has a Dinobot.* Swoop 10:11 pm *is a dinobot* Whirl 10:11 pm *you know whirl would happily fight a dinobot* Windchill 10:11 pm *Windchill would fight anyone.* Whirl 10:12 pm I'm not going to remind you of the things you said when I was a bird. Windchill 10:12 pm *Doesn't mean he would WIN, 'specially not on purpose. But he would fight.* Whirl 10:12 pm Not being able to talk was a little irritating, but I could taste, so... even trade. Magnum Ace 10:12 pm They sound like they cause chaos Windchill 10:12 pm I remember I kissed your bird head. And the deposit made in my mouth. Swoop 10:12 pm Whirl was bird? Whirl 10:12 pm Also being the same size of these mooks *sidelong glance to the twins* was a novel experience. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:12 pm [[They are helpful on occasion.]] Windchill 10:12 pm That's about it. Whirl 10:12 pm Briefly, yep. Thanks to the greyfaces. Swoop 10:13 pm *flaps his wings* Fun HUH? Magnum Ace 10:13 pm Helpful? What I've heard is mostly...not Windchill 10:13 pm *Has noticed that they seem to be listening to real music.* Bull 10:13 pm *is even more confused* Windchill 10:14 pm I don't think I've met a helpful greyface in my life. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:14 pm [[Oh, yes. Now and then one of them will act on a shred of kindness. They have assisted him a few times before.]] Whirl 10:14 pm Oh, yeah. Analogue flight is great. I had the best of both worlds--analogue wings AND rotor arrays. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:14 pm *Rumble snorts.*

//You oughta be our size more often. Get away with LOADS more scrap, heh.// Swoop 10:15 pm *grins at whirl* wicked Windchill 10:15 pm Granted, seeing as I've taken to killing them when they piss me off, which is all the time, they're probably not much inclined to be nice to me. Whirl 10:15 pm Just goes to show you how good I am at getting away with stuff now, while I'm huge. *smugly* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:15 pm *Rumble's mouth opens and closes for a moment before he just shrugs.*

//Yeah, I can't argue that. Like, at all.// Magnum Ace 10:16 pm . . . All right then... Whirl 10:16 pm *snickers* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:17 pm *Soundwave thinks back to how he used to handle some of his worse greyfaces and looks over at Prowl. Too bad he can't ever talk about it. It would probably amuse the mech to find out an alternate was responsible for convincing him to stop.* FakeProwl 10:17 pm *~oblivious~* Magnum Ace 10:17 pm So...will they stop if I ignore them? Windchill 10:18 pm ...Maybe. Bevel 10:18 pm Or they might get worse. Swoop 10:18 pm Bird Windchill 10:19 pm Smushing 'em's easier. Magnum Ace 10:19 pm . . . Swoop 10:19 pm *is oblivious to the soundrack of his future playing in the background* Magnum Ace 10:19 pm I'm not as large as almost /all/ of you ItsyBitsySpyers 10:19 pm *There's reasons he's not using the ones with video footage. That's for another night.* Windchill 10:19 pm Greyfaces are small. Whirl 10:19 pm They go away eventually. I haven't seen one in a long, long time. Magnum Ace 10:20 pm So ignoring them should work? Swoop 10:20 pm Bird, you see grey magic stuff before? Windchill 10:20 pm It's worth a try. Bevel 10:20 pm I only saw them when I was a newbuild. Magnum Ace 10:21 pm -he'd rather not be on the bench for three or more days again- Windchill 10:21 pm But if they rain dildos on your head or make you bleed from your unmentionables...don't say you weren't warned. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:21 pm {{Lots, many many. Them bother Boss most timing, not Bird much. Quiet now. Questions, not many trick.}} Magnum Ace 10:21 pm What and what? Windchill 10:21 pm ... Let's just say that I have a reason to kill them on sight these days. Several reasons. Magnum Ace 10:21 pm ? Swoop 10:22 pm Oh. Neat! Me Swoop.... umm.... dunno... *legitimately cannot recall if this is a thing that happened before to him, given that he's from a pretty batty universe to start with* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:22 pm [[He prefers the ones who ask questions.]] *Taps his leg, thinking.* [[Not that the inhabitants of the multiverse aren't capable of bizarre or unpleasant things all by themselves.]] Bull 10:22 pm .... ItsyBitsySpyers 10:23 pm [[But at least they have never convinced a small horde of sentient insects to crown him their king.]] Windchill 10:23 pm *Feels personally attacked.* Bevel 10:23 pm *giggles* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:23 pm *Glance at Bevel. He hears you.* Swoop 10:24 pm *glances over at the speakers and feels kind of weird, can't explain why, he's just glad the song is over* Bevel 10:24 pm *giggles harder* Windchill 10:24 pm Anyway, greyfaces are generally stupid and do the same things over and over. Magnum Ace 10:25 pm ..... Windchill 10:25 pm *Or, would if he hadn't put a dent in their population.* Magnum Ace 10:25 pm I really have no idea what you are talking about. But okay Windchill 10:25 pm That's probably a good thing. Swoop 10:26 pm *scrunches up his nose* what noise? Windchill 10:27 pm *Tries to not snicker at Swoop's face.* *Fails.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:28 pm [[Music.]] Swoop 10:28 pm *rolls his optics at soundwave* Windchill 10:28 pm Him Swoop no like? Swoop 10:28 pm Me Swoop like HER BIRD music : > ItsyBitsySpyers 10:29 pm [[Then you can attend the next newbuild night to listen to it.]] Bevel 10:29 pm I like it. Swoop 10:29 pm Me Swoop not NEWbuilt. Me 33 now. Windchill 10:30 pm That's right. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm [[You are under two million. You are a newbuild.]] Magnum Ace 10:30 pm ... Windchill 10:30 pm Our little baby is...*makes a dramatic show of wiping away a tear.* ...all grown up. I'm so proud. Swoop 10:30 pm Two million is SOOOO MANY! Magnum Ace 10:30 pm -RIGHT! Not going to ask ages now, they have to be up early tomorrow- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm \\HE'S *YOUR* KID? THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH.\\ *Ask them ages next time. It'll be a hoot.* Windchill 10:31 pm No, thank Primus. Well. FakeProwl 10:31 pm *at some point, Prowl gradually became conscious of the fact that there is not, in fact, a movie playing anymore.* Windchill 10:31 pm I mean. Magnum Ace 10:31 pm Soundwave? Can we get assistance home now? Bevel 10:31 pm *welcome to the after party, prowl* FakeProwl 10:31 pm *he started picking up on the conversation again somewhere around the time Soundwave said that anyone under two million was a newbuild.* Windchill 10:31 pm If he were he probably wouldn't have turned out like that, so you're mileage may vary. FakeProwl 10:32 pm *looks at Soundwave like that's the wildest thing he's ever heard.* *admittedly, his "that's wild" face is a 😐 face, but still.* Swoop 10:32 pm Two million SO SO MANY Magnum Ace 10:32 pm -he will and probably just /stare/- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:32 pm [[...What? No it isn't. Not here.]] Windchill 10:32 pm Is it? *Legitimately doesn't know.* Swoop 10:32 pm Uh huh Windchill 10:32 pm Huh. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:33 pm *Looks at Prowl. How is that surprising? You know how old he is.* Windchill 10:33 pm I've been told a million is a lot. FakeProwl 10:33 pm *you're considered a newbuild until you're TWO MILLION?* Magnum Ace 10:33 pm ...... FakeProwl 10:33 pm *TWO? MILLION?* Magnum Ace 10:33 pm Wait Wait, hold on Two million years? Swoop 10:33 pm Me Swoop aaaaaaaaaaalmost 50! That a loooootttt, Soundwave. Not a newbuilt. Bevel 10:34 pm My creator is like fifty million. *she might have added a couple million there* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:34 pm //So's Bird.//

{{NO! Not fifty!}} Mutter mutter sounds like forty-something. Bull 10:34 pm Million? ... ItsyBitsySpyers 10:34 pm \\WE'RE LONG-LIVED, BUDDY.\\ Swoop 10:34 pm How old Bird is? *giggles* Magnum Ace 10:35 pm I can tell. Bevel 10:35 pm *waves her hand dismissively and grins* Close enough! FakeProwl 10:35 pm ... I'd spent over half my life at war when I hit two million. Windchill 10:35 pm Is a gazillion a big number? *He's heard that one before, too.* Magnum Ace 10:35 pm . . . Can we go home now? FakeProwl 10:35 pm In your universe, mechs aren't even considered competent to make their own decisions until then? Bevel 10:36 pm We can make decisions before two million! ItsyBitsySpyers 10:36 pm [[Your timeline is shorter. He would not count y-- one moment.]] To the Leaguers: [[There will be a bridge waiting outside when you are ready to take it. Try not to dwell on the age matter too much.]] Magnum Ace 10:36 pm -nods- Okay...and thank you Swoop 10:37 pm Two million toooo maaanyyyy. Me Swoop can kill mech TODAY. That grown up thing. Bull 10:37 pm Umm, thanks. Maybe see you guys next week. *waves* Bevel 10:37 pm That is because it is different in your universe. Magnum Ace 10:37 pm -scrambles down and out. Time to get home- Good night Windchill 10:38 pm *Waves because it's polite to acknowledge people or something to that effect.* Swoop 10:39 pm Me Swoop want to see Bird doing music thing LOTS! Not wait for Neeeewbuilt Night. That for BABIES. Windchill 10:39 pm Oh... ItsyBitsySpyers 10:39 pm [[Where was he... two million. Yes. Technically it is one and a half million years, but with so many records missing and different planetary schedules he finds it easier to check a whole number.]] Windchill 10:39 pm So that means I can go? Swoop 10:39 pm (( every time swoop says the word baby or babies, he WILL say it like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFzXIplizck )) Bevel 10:40 pm *not going to dwell on the fact that she's been fighting and killing since she figured out how to really transform* Windchill 10:40 pm (( Oh my god. )) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:40 pm //How old are ya, Windchill?// Whirl 10:40 pm ((omg im sorry if anyone said anything to whirl i got distracted by an extremely cute beetle)) Swoop 10:40 pm *was conceived for badass 80s murder specifically and has no idea what adult night could possibly be where he isn't allowed to attend* Windchill 10:40 pm Wheh? FakeProwl 10:40 pm ((share it)) Windchill 10:40 pm (( I saw ur beetle post I would be distracted by that precious nibbler 2 )) Uh. I don't do math and so don't know how old I am. Swoop 10:41 pm Bird, Bird. Tell Him Soundwave that Me Swoop not a baaaby. Me can do ANYTHING. Dinobots can do anything! And listen to Bird music is a thing! Whirl 10:41 pm (( http://megaweapon.tumblr.com/post/167964851515/thebabys-exoskeleton-has-darkened-completely-now )) Windchill 10:41 pm It's a mystery...it's history... Whirl 10:41 pm ((uhh that didn't... paste quite right bit ot's a video of the beetle being cute)) FakeProwl 10:42 pm ((what a cute)) Whirl 10:42 pm Yeah, I was grown long before I was two million, too. Swoop 10:42 pm You Whirl tell Soundwave too! Tell Him that Me Swoop can go to Dancitron on NOT Newbuilt Night. Windchill 10:42 pm *Furrows his brows.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:43 pm @Prowl: (txt): What reason, surprise? [[It is his business. He will restrict you to the night he considers appropriate.]] Swoop 10:43 pm :V Bevel 10:43 pm I am two million so I do not have to go to newbuild night anymore. *she really should go to Dancitron on a regular night sometime huh* Swoop 10:43 pm What APPROPRIATE? Whirl 10:44 pm Pfft, as if, Swoop, this isn't MY house. Swoop 10:44 pm Dinobots NEVER appropriate Windchill 10:44 pm *Snorts.* Hell yeah, that's the right attitude. *He's never appropriate either.* Whirl 10:44 pm *looks to the twins* How old're you two, anyway? If you told me, I've already forgot. FakeProwl 10:44 pm @Soundwave «That seems an absurdly long time for a person to be blundering about too cluelessly to be trusted to handle his own life.» Swoop 10:45 pm *back swoop up here, prowl* *LetTheDinoDrink2018* FakeProwl 10:45 pm *oh no, you should absolutely not be trusted around narcotics of any kind* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:45 pm //We're, uh... 20 million?// \\18 MILLION.\\ //Frag it. Somewhere in there. Busted chronometers, y'know.// Death'll do that. Windchill 10:45 pm *Briefly wonders if he might be a baby by comparison to anyone else...decides not to worry about it.* Swoop 10:46 pm *whines* Biiird Bevel 10:46 pm You were dead? Windchill 10:46 pm *He's pretty sure that he's older than Swoop, so good enough.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:46 pm {{Bird never dead, what you talking about? Peh.}} Swoop 10:46 pm ((windchill and swoop at newbuilt night)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:47 pm {{What Swoop?}} Whirl 10:47 pm Well. ...damn. Bevel 10:47 pm *so confused* Whirl 10:47 pm That's a long time to be alive. *what an INTELLIGENT AND THOUGHTFUL RESPONSE WHIRL* Swoop 10:47 pm Me Swoop want to listen to You Bird. Newbuilt Night, no Newbuilt Night. : < Whirl 10:47 pm *he's honestly a bit flabbergasted* Windchill 10:47 pm (( That would be...bad. )) Bevel 10:47 pm I guess. *shrugs* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:47 pm {{You swoop Newbuild. You go that night.}} Swoop 10:48 pm 💔 *u cut him deep bord* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:49 pm @Prowl: (txt): Not blundering. Soundwave explains; patience requested. Windchill 10:50 pm *Crosses his legs.* FakeProwl 10:50 pm *acknowledging ping* Swoop 10:50 pm : < Windchill 10:51 pm Numbers schmumbers. Swoop 10:51 pm yeAH Windchill 10:51 pm *What.* Swoop 10:51 pm Me Swoop can do anything 2 million year bot do : < Windchill 10:51 pm Except display a modicum of common sense or rational decision making. Swoop 10:52 pm You meet Huffer? kehehhh Windchill 10:52 pm ... Does he do drugs? Bevel 10:52 pm Huffer whines a lot. Windchill 10:52 pm I would too, with a name like that. Swoop 10:52 pm Huffer get smack a lot kehheeh For say dumb stuff AT bots Windchill 10:53 pm Wow. He gets smacked...for saying dumb stuff? Swoop 10:53 pm Yup Windchill 10:53 pm Huh. Bevel 10:53 pm That is mean. Windchill 10:53 pm I wonder how much of MY life that explains. *Not enough of it.* Actually. Swoop 10:54 pm Him Grimlock say Him eat Huffer but Huffer kehhh Huffer probably give tank ache kee Windchill 10:54 pm Most of my recent smackings are for putting my mouth on Whirl so that's warranted. Whirl 10:54 pm Damn right. Windchill 10:54 pm Yeah. That's how I consent to being smacked. Swoop 10:55 pm (( my personal favorite huffer pic http://tfwiki.net/mediawiki/images2/4/4f/DivideandConquer_shutupHuffer.jpg )) Windchill 10:55 pm I ask for it. Whirl 10:55 pm Don't YOU get any bright ideas, neither. *peers at Swoop* Bevel 10:55 pm *can't argue there, she's punched bots for similar* Swoop 10:55 pm Bright idea? Windchill 10:55 pm (( BEautiful. )) Bevel 10:55 pm ((omg Ironhide plz FakeProwl 10:56 pm ((i looked at optimus's chest and i first i thought that was a nightmarish upside-down reflection of optimus's face)) Bevel 10:56 pm ((his whole hand fits over his face i can't Whirl 10:56 pm If you didn't get it right away, I ain't explaining. Bevel 10:56 pm ((i did too puff Swoop 10:56 pm Him bite you? Windchill 10:56 pm I think what Whirl means to say, is...don't have any ideas at all. *Gasps in faux offense at this insinuation.* Windchill 10:58 pm *As if Windchill has ever been anything but a gentle lover.* Swoop 10:58 pm ??? Whirl 10:58 pm I don't know who you're asking what, at this point. Windchill 10:58 pm *Except when he's not and legit bites people.* Swoop 10:58 pm *points to windchill* Him bite you *points to whirl* Whirl 10:58 pm Nope. Why the hell would he BITE me? Swoop 10:59 pm *cocks his head, has no idea what we're talking about oanymore* Windchill 10:59 pm Because you're so tasty, Whirl. I just can't help myself. Whirl 10:59 pm Don't you start spreading rumors about me. Windchill 10:59 pm Mmmmhmmmm. Bevel 10:59 pm Ew. Windchill 10:59 pm *Licks his lips grossly.* Sorry. Old habits. Whirl 10:59 pm Ugh. Windchill 11:00 pm I love rumours. They're like a disease. Swoop 11:00 pm *blows raspberries at this whole conversation* Bevel 11:00 pm *...not sure if she imagined that apology, what's in this drink?* Windchill 11:00 pm Anyway. Swoop 11:01 pm Bird! Me Swoop want to go play. With you! Windchill 11:01 pm I'm hardly the one spreading rumours when you've got everyone lined up to feast on your corpse the moment you kick the bucket. Has nothing to do with ME. Whirl 11:01 pm I've got exactly ONE PERSON. Windchill 11:02 pm Yeah, and he's lining up. I'd eat you if you'd share. So selfish. I mean. Think about it. I could eat you and you would be a part of me. /Forever./ Bevel 11:02 pm *gonna pet Chimera instead of being part of this conversation yep* Whirl 11:03 pm That's horrifying. Windchill 11:03 pm I know. Whirl 11:03 pm And my cue to leave. This has officially gotten too weird for me. *streeetches* Windchill 11:03 pm I have a macabre sense of humour, I can't believe you haven't noticed already. Whirl 11:03 pm Catch you losers later. Bevel 11:03 pm Night, Whirl! Windchill 11:03 pm Bye, sucker. Have fun with your space boat... Without me... FakeProwl 11:04 pm *if Bevel wanted to avoid the conversation, she should have planned ahead like Prowl and not gotten adequate sleep for three weeks. It makes it very easy to zone out.* *although, admittedly, very hard to do anything else.* Windchill 11:04 pm Actually it'd be cool if you showed some pics sometime. Whirl 11:04 pm When it's actually fixed up I'll invite you lot over, or something. Windchill 11:05 pm That's fair. Swoop 11:05 pm Bird. Me Swoop want to stay with You :X Windchill 11:05 pm Maybe I'll even bring that butt I owe you. You can mount it on your dashboard. That would be fun to explain. Whirl 11:05 pm Y'know, I think I'll pass on THAT... but you did just give me an idea. Bevel 11:06 pm *like pay attention to the movie but she'll consider it in the future* Windchill 11:06 pm You're welcome. I honestly haven't found a butt yet. Since MINE isn't good enough for you. *turns up his noseless face. Snubbed.* At this rate I'll probably have to resort to killing someone to take their butt as a trophy. Which is horrible. Whirl 11:07 pm Sorry, I'm very selective about my butts, mech. Windchill 11:07 pm You're not sorry in the slightest. Whirl 11:08 pm Okay, fair. I'm not. *hops up* Windchill 11:08 pm It's okay, I forgive you. *Shoos Whirl away. Shoo!* Windchill 11:10 pm *Is honestly more shocked that nobody seems to have a problem with him killing someone to steal their butt than anything.* Swoop 11:11 pm *would kill for shits and giggles so...( ** Bevel 11:12 pm *has killed for money?* *or whatever counts for money in some universes, energon, ship parts, whatever* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:12 pm @Prowl: (txt): Underworld traversed after creation. Dangerous terrain, horrific creatures, strange mechs. Blundering survivors: rare.

Aboveground, decisions made. Purpose, rank, location. Transfers effected. There, additional knowledge given. Work, social, life navigation, government propaganda... last, most required. All more, if high caste.

Low caste mechs often released early. This, not considered problem - dead unfinished low-caste newbuild: unimportant, replaceable.

Soundwave believes all deserve full time. Second opinion: Soundwave's timeline: ancient; much learning required. Survivors: experienced warriors. Time understanding, navigating new society, learning self-protection: vital. This, neutral zone. Safe place. Soundwave refuses assistance, situations: fresh faction persuasion, war restart; association without appropriate identity awareness; potential mental, physical, legal endangerment; other.

If exception requested, source: Prowl timeline mech, personal judgment formed Windchill 11:12 pm *Disgusting, all of you.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:12 pm Span differences already known. Here, two million rule: firm. Swoop 11:14 pm *is going to eat this entire dish of treats one after another while staring at Bird, play with him gdi* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:14 pm *WHOO now i can read what i was missing* Bevel 11:14 pm *mercenary thank you* Swoop 11:14 pm ((writing a book there cro)) ItsyBitsySpyers 11:15 pm ((there's a lot of HC behind his rule and i have to condense it and then condense it more into his speech ;; )) Windchill 11:15 pm *Probably killed more people, if you count organics, than anyone in this room, by virtue of being a Decepticon. Still judging you for not judging.* Swoop 11:16 pm ((no rush! I'm rewatching that video with the SICK Lucio player with King of Swing for the song lol)) ItsyBitsySpyers 11:16 pm *Soundwave would contest that claim, but frankly he'd rather not bring up how much death he's personally responsible for. And Prowl can make his own claim, though Soundwave would suspect he's sort of the hands-through-someone-else variety.* FakeProwl 11:17 pm @Soundwave «... It takes you a full two million years to learn the bare minimum needed to function well enough to go to a regular bar?» *That sounds to Prowl like either pathetically weak learning retention abilities or an extreme disregard for the basic intelligence and competence of mechs who had reached maturity but had yet to reach an arbitrarily high benchmark to qualify for adulthood.* Windchill 11:17 pm *It's okay because Windchill can't count.* *So we'll never know.* Swoop 11:17 pm *is at a crippling murder disadvantage by virtue of his age and the small number of surviving Cybertronians at the tme of his birth and would be SO OFFENDED if this was part of the conversation out loud* FakeProwl 11:17 pm *Prowl will make no claim because it would involve jumping into a conversation he isn't even hearing.* Bevel 11:18 pm *Bevel doesn't take anything Windchill says seriously so she won't judge anything he says as she's pretty sure it's a lie to get someone to react* Windchill 11:18 pm *One day, Swoop, one day.* *He tells the truth most of the time. Short of the rhino sweat incident and some stupid thing he might have said last week.* *It's complicated.* Bevel 11:20 pm *so many conversations not actually happening ha* Windchill 11:20 pm *It's for the best.* Whirl 11:20 pm *slinks off* Windchill 11:20 pm *YELLS.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:20 pm *The twins wave as Whirl goes* Windchill 11:20 pm BYE SUCKERRRRR. Bevel 11:20 pm *you're still here?* Swoop 11:20 pm *licks this dumb plate clean* Windchill 11:21 pm *Sniffs.* Bevel 11:21 pm *no wait there he go* Windchill 11:21 pm *Wipes away another tear.* I'll miss him... *Hand over spark.* I'll never forget you, Whirl. Bevel 11:23 pm *gently coaxes Chimera awake* I have to leave now and I do not think Soundwave will let me take you home. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:24 pm [[It will do them good to be around others who do not mind them. Go ahead.]] Bevel 11:24 pm Awesome 🙂 Swoop 11:24 pm *chirps* Windchill 11:25 pm *Makes a face.* Bevel 11:26 pm *then she will be taking her new arm band and heading out, but not before bidding everyone goodnight and waving* Windchill 11:26 pm *Waves casually.* Swoop 11:28 pm *pat pats at Bird* Me Swoop want to play now ItsyBitsySpyers 11:28 pm {{We go.}} Swoop 11:28 pm : > Kaaaay *follows Bird off to whatever Activity she picks* Windchill 11:29 pm This feels anticlimatic. I feel...hungry. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:37 pm @Prowl: (txt): Soundwave stated two million years considered maximum. Reminder: Most time spent before: government. Importance reduction: severe. Society also broken, changed; less learning time required.

However, Soundwave's duty: protect patrons. Cannot perform, defend self/business if established guideline: ignored, new risks: ignored. Therefore, all elevated, level: former full high caste time requirement.

*Small shrugs. It was the best he could do for himself and the newbuilds with how the world has changed.* Windchill 11:38 pm *Time to FEED.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:39 pm *Take some of the snacks with you. There's always tons of them, thanks to Laserbeak's appetite and the dragon's supplying.* Windchill 11:39 pm *Probably not on people.* *Nope.* Windchill 11:41 pm *Has been perpetually starving since the war began, it's easier to forego snacks altogether than test his self control and risk eating all of them.* FakeProwl 11:41 pm @Soundwave «... That's still a massive maximum.» Windchill 11:41 pm *THAT WOULD BE GREEDY.* Windchill 11:42 pm *He has enough guilt to deal with without adding that nonsense to it.* *Creeps out like a creeper.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:43 pm *Soundwave pings Windchill goodnight as he leaves.* Windchill 11:43 pm *Ew, he's been spotted.* *FLEES.* *Flees RUDELY.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:47 pm @Prowl: (txt): Remedy's age: 83 million. Alpha Trion--

*Never mind how old Soundwave thinks that mech actually is.*

--Older. Soundwave's belief: native newbuilds coping capability: high.

Noted side benefit: peaceful club nights. Death threats, brawls, unpleasant historical descriptions: rare. Good balance. FakeProwl 11:50 pm "Coping capability"? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:51 pm (txt): Rule acceptance, fuss: minimum. FakeProwl 11:52 pm ... You're... saying they have an unusually high natural inclination toward unquestioning compliance? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:53 pm (txt): Negative.

*And he looks vaguely alarmed by the idea, sitting up straight.*

(txt): Suggestion: If expected lifespan exceeds twenty times restriction length/higher, restriction length: minor inconvenience. FakeProwl 11:54 pm ... You're suggesting that youth are patient? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:55 pm (txt): Prowl knows comparable alternative location? FakeProwl 11:55 pm ... Location? *when did they switch from talking about ages to talking about places?* Yesterday ItsyBitsySpyers 11:58 pm (txt): Affirmative. If visitation desire: retained, comparable location: unknown/inaccessible, patience: enforced.

*Pause.*

(txt): Unless comparable location BUILT. Permitted, difficult, unlikely. FakeProwl 12:01 am ... Oh, you're talking about permission to visit your bar. No, I don't c— I'm not talking about that. I'm just, trying to get a grasp of your universe's conception of maturity. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:11 am (txt): Difficult. Known, understood framework: outdated, unrelated, irrelevant. What importance, full Vosian political behavioral knowledge, proven handling ability? Vos: ruined. Political structure: gone. Titles: unimportant. Negative. Alternative: Underworld escape success? Basic wilderness survival skills possessed upon emergence; nothing else known.

Total time after ceasefire, initial newbuild reappearance: <5 years. New concept not possessed. FakeProwl 12:13 am But even as it was before your war, I can't get my head around— Here, let me illustrate this. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:13 am *Settles in to listen.* FakeProwl 12:14 am *And when he says "illustrate" he means "use math," of course.* FakeProwl 12:15 am The oldest mechs in your universe can reach, from the sound of it, around a hundred million years. Is that a fair estimate? A hundred million for you, and for my universe—as far as we know—it's more like ten million. So based on our known recorded histories, your mechs max out at about ten times older than my mechs. Ten times. But it takes your mechs fifty MILLION times longer to be considered matured. FakeProwl 12:17 am So, even taking the proportional ages of mechs in your universe and in my universe into account... I'm—I'm trying to figure out what you spend all that time doing. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:32 am (txt): Education, practice, social connection, monitored activities; all extended lengths. In false memories, many centuries practicing single skill until perfect. Time spent not problem when upward mobility, personal activity choice: minimal.

(txt): ...That, if fortunate. Majority not included. Recall statements: "low caste mechs often released early", "low caste newbuild: unimportant, replaceable". Well always creating. Brief instruction, basic knowledge, early removal/termination. [][][]All that time[][][] expectation: not long, if theirs. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:34 am *In other words, if you were lucky you did what you were always going to do over and over and over because nobody else was vacating their position. And if you weren't, it didn't really matter.* FakeProwl 12:39 am Yes, I heard the part about the low caste mechs. It's unfortunate but irrelevant to my point. When I said fifty million times longer, that's ALL our mechs—including the very top of the social hierarchy, the mechs that probably got little gold stars next to their alt-modes in the Grand Cybertronian Taxonomy. Our proto-senators didn't spend any more time being prepared for the world than our flashlights, and—by the sound of it—that time was shorter than even your most oppressed. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:52 am (txt): Perhaps Prowl's timeline efficiency: higher, stagnation: lower? Similar events achieved within span fraction.

(txt): Perhaps two million years not true required time reflection. Instead, average time between upper caste position vacancies. Then, stalling, new maturity line required.

(txt): Perhaps direct math: nonapplicable. Earth horses, walking within minutes. Earth humans, full year.

(txt): All unknown. Apologies. FakeProwl 12:56 am ... Maybe. *vaguely, to any and all of the above.* Sorry, I—don't think I'm... equipped, currently, for speculating on all this. *How many times had he had to ask Soundwave to clarify what he was saying? Forget trying to make sense of WHAT Soundwave was saying, Prowl was barely keeping up with HOW he was saying—* *He'd forgotten to give Soundwave permission for telepathy. The whole night. He goes very still, and turns his optics off. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.* ... I should go home. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:59 am *He will return the light knee touch, though it's more of a rest than a pat. Patting seems like it'd come off as patronizing right now.*

(txt): If Prowl desires. Recharge: important; age discussion postponement: acceptable. Rest. Soundwave sees soon. FakeProwl 1:01 am *Recharge. Yeah. That'd be nice.* Evening. ItsyBitsySpyers 1:02 am (txt): Goodnight. FakeProwl 1:02 am *And with that, he disappears.* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:06 am *Soundwave opts to spend the night on the couch, and after about an hour spent wondering why Prowl has insomnia instead of getting to sleep himself, he'll pull the generator out and tuck it close by. Uneasy rest happens after that.*

#chat

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the-odd-job · 4 years

Text

Ashes of Icarus chapter 8 - Dance With the Devil

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Chose Not to Use Category: Other Fandom: Transformers Characters: Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Megatron, Ratchet Relationships: Megatron/Sunstreaker, Sideswipe & Sunstreaker Additional Tags: Dubcon, Unplanned Pregnancy, Mechpreg, Sticky Words: 4468

( Previous )

Well, they managed to escape Ironhide’s training for a bit.

Four damn months straight in the brig.

And after that they expected them to be in any mood to follow orders. Jumping off the walls was the only thing they were doing. They’d sparred with each other, with Ironhide, and with some of the other warriors—beating up Cliffjumper in particular had been intensely satisfying—which had burned off some of their restless energy, but nowhere near enough that they would’ve given a single fuck about what they were told to.

Perform this attack, defend then, do that here and that there, and by Primus stop attacking already!

Ratchet had gotten a lot of guests, and had yelled much at everyone and no one in particular. Ironhide received some of that too, and the rumor had it Ratchet had even visited Prowl.

Probably to complain about the stupidity of doing what he had to the twins. They were high energy and temperamental, and that combined very badly with forced inactivity. The end results were… Explosive.

Ratchet knew that. He knew them better than most did, after fixing their frames and rooting around in their heads as much as he had. The medic had always done what he could do to fix and manage the damage their coding had endured and thus mitigated as much as could be mitigated of what their behavioral issues were caused directly by warped programming.

But a lot of it couldn’t be fixed, and a lot of it originated from the spark, not the processors. Even Ratchet could do nothing about that, at which point it became a game of dealing with the external factors that could cause them to flip some unpleasant switches.

Prowl should have known that too, and he probably did, but the methods to get them to obey had always been scarce. They had little respect for rank, a lot of trust in their own ability to do things better, and in general lacked a lot of the motivation to just listen. They didn’t doubt Prowl was one fantastic tactician and could no doubt turn the tides of any fight with his carefully placed orders, but…

Frag, it just chafed to do what they were told. Plus it was boring more often than not.

They were loose cannons, always had been. Point them at the enemy and hope for the best, that was really all you could do most of the time. Prowl had had more success in commanding them than really any of their previous superiors, but even his control was far from perfect.

And it had failed entirely in the last battle. It wasn’t that surprising he’d try some drastic measures—by Autobot standards—to force their cooperation. Keep them from the battlefield if that’s what it took, extort them until they caved and listened just for the chance to get to fight.

How the Autobots intended to manage without them on the field, he didn’t know, but Prowl seemed confident they weren’t necessary. Useful, but not necessary.

Sunstreaker hoped they’d find out that wasn’t the case. They couldn’t be so irrelevant that the Autobots could do well without them.

There had been two battles so far, though, and the word was that those had gone… Well enough.

But he’d seen the amount of injuries the combatants had returned with. Enough to signify a hard battle.

Would it have been easier if the twins were present? He liked to think so.

Even if that was the case, Prowl had clearly come to the conclusion the extra injuries were worth it if it meant forcing the twins into taking heed of the things he told them. Did that mean they were just that much more effective when they played according to Prowl’s plans?

Who the fuck knew.

But Ratchet had given his recommendation, and according to it the twins had gotten sent out on the single longest patrol route to get rid of some of their energy. They were under strict orders to not speed, but everyone knew that for as long as the roads were asphalt, they would speed. The human speed limits were for humans, not for beings in all ways superior to them, complete with reflexes and bodily controls that far surpassed anything the humans could manage.

Of course, the human authorities wouldn’t agree with that, but by the time they were climbing the mountain roads to far quieter areas, they'd run into no police cruisers that could’ve tried to chase them or otherwise signal their disapproval of the speeds they were going.

Sideswipe was blasting music and singing along as they drifted around bends in the road and rocketed the straight spans, the roar of their engines not quite enough to drown out his voice. Very pleasant voice. Sunstreaker didn’t mind listening to it. With the sounds of their frames, they would have never gotten to enjoy those of nature anyways, even if he’d been so inclined.

He could still enjoy the scenery. Well, sans color. But at the speeds they were going, they’d need to stop to kill time at some point anyway, lest they wanted to be done with the patrol route way ahead of schedule and give away that they had definitely broken every single speed limit along the way. He could transform and have a look at the colors then. What would there be, green, green, and more green...

The jam fell upon them fast, all thanks to the speed they were going. The music Sideswipe was streaming cut off as did their access to all external signals, all within the span of seconds.

Why did he feel like they’d been here before?

They both screeched to a stop, reading their scanners, although nothing was showing up on them yet. What had Ratchet said to do if this happened? Back out of the jammed area and report it?

Sideswipe was waiting on him to decide what he wanted to do. On the chance this was due to what they thought it was…

They would continue. Even if it was something else, they could probably handle it without dying.

He could feel Sideswipe’s phantom nod before his brother set back in motion and they drove onward, not quite as fast as before.

Until… Two spark signatures showed up on their scanners.

Excitement surged in Sunstreaker’s spark even as his engine growled. Megatron’s signature was unmistakable, as strong as the mech himself.

And the other one was none other than Soundwave, again. What was he, his leader’s wingman on top of everything else? Must be nice.

Once they made it to a valley between two mountain peaks… The trees were more sparse here, giving room for their kind to maneuver. The two signatures on their scanners stayed put through their approach, until they could make visual contact with the Decepticons.

Sideswipe felt considerably less wary than the last time now that they had different expectations of how this might go down. And Sunstreaker? If he’d anticipated last time, that was nothing compared to the pissed off expectation of this time. Oh, he hadn’t forgotten how Megatron had flat out ignored him the last battle they were allowed to attend.

They transformed a good distance away from the other two mechs. Soundwave was standing off to the side again, but Megatron was blocking the entire road, and they weren’t exactly built for off-roading. Even if they’d wanted to get by, they’d had to have gone through him.

Not that Sunstreaker particularly wanted to get through. “You have some fragging guts,” he hissed at Megatron instead, throwing all caution out the window and stalking towards the tyrant. This time he didn’t bother hiding his field, because the anger in it was very, very real, and worked well to drown out his other emotions. “What, just gonna show up when it suits you?”

Sideswipe hung back, his laughter echoing in their spark. He didn’t bother hiding his field either, and it was full of mirth for all the world to teek.

Yeah yeah, laugh it up, this was so much fun.

Fragger.

“Was I supposed to do something else?” Megatron asked, cocking an optical ridge at him. Sunstreaker snarled and lunged the last few feet, hooking his digits into a gap in Megatron’s armor and wrenching.

Megatron growled right back at him, but Sunstreaker dodged the fist that was flung at him—only to get clawed by Megatron’s other servo.

“I haven’t seen you in battles recently,” the warlord noted, and for the life of him Sunstreaker couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or entertained.

Sunstreaker was annoyed, though. More than, he was fragging furious, and let that sound in his voice when he responded, “Oh I’m fragging surprised you’d even notice.”

Megatron gave him a look, but what the emotion behind it was was no clearer. “Is this about the last battle you attended?”

Yes.

Sunstreaker grunted noncommittally, then from pain when Megatron tore him off his pedes and sent him crashing into the ground. He managed to scramble back on his feet before the tyrant could pin him this time, though, and charged right back at the larger mech like it wasn’t one of the most foolish things any Cybertronian could do.

“You do realize I don’t owe you anything?” Megatron asked next. Sunstreaker glared up at him between one attack and the next, his face twisting into a snarl he’d never manage to make look anything other than pretty. Ah, the curse of being unbelievably attractive.

“You raped me! I think you slagging well owe me.”

Megatron growled at him. “Don’t pretend you weren’t into it.”

“Not the point,” Sunstreaker ground out, landing another dent on Megatron’s armor and barely dodging out of the way of a hit that would’ve given him a significantly larger dent.

“You could have told your side what happened.” This time he didn’t manage to jerk out of the way in time and Megatron’s claws dug into his side. Blood splurted from the wound deep enough to damage larger fuel lines.

Neither of them paid the pink any mind. Megatron stared him down. “Did you?”

He had to already know the answer. Or guess it, anyway, if he didn’t know for sure.

Sunstreaker grit his denta, but confirmed it anyway. “No.”

“And why is that?” Neither Soundwave nor Sideswipe made a single move to interrupt them, verbally or physically. Sunstreaker didn’t know if he was grateful or not when Megatron steadily drove him towards admissions he did not want to give.

Some distraction from this line of discussion would’ve been welcome.

Sunstreaker stayed silent aside from the revving of his engine, and Megatron continued. “You want it.”

He did.

“I do not!”

Megatron snorted.

“Oh slag right off,” Sunstreaker snarled at the lack of belief he was met with, ramming his shoulder into Megatron with enough force to make him take a step back. He couldn’t truly test the tyrant’s balance, though, and had to retreat that instant to deny Megatron the chance to grab him.

“Why have they kept you from battles? You tore through my troops last time, you and your brother.”

Sideswipe puffed up with pride and even Sunstreaker felt a burst of satisfaction. All he did was sneer, though. “So you did notice, huh?” Megatron didn’t say anything to that, only forced Sunstreaker to dance away from another grab that would’ve likely ended the fight right there and then. Injuries were piling on the both of them. Dents, torn plating. The kind that could be explained away with just regular hand to hand combat.

No sword marks that would’ve made very little sense. “It was because we tore through your troops,” Sunstreaker eventually responded, on this side of reluctant, but ultimately seeing no reason to not disclose reason—and offer an explanation for why they were out of the fight for the foreseeable future.

You know, just in case Megatron would think it had something to do with him. He shouldn’t flatter himself like that.

“Did the Prime disapprove of your violence?” Megatron sneered, a touch of genuine displeasure in his field, as was probably the norm when he thought of Optimus. The leaders of the two sides of the war predictably just didn’t get along.

But could it be something more than just that?

“We had our orders,” Sunstreaker grumbled, biting back a groan when Megatron’s fist glanced off of his already injured side. Fragging hurt. “We didn’t listen.”

“The Autobots keep you muzzled and shackled.” There it was, that heat of beliefs the tyrant held tight to. A burst of curiosity ricocheted between him and Sideswipe, and Sunstreaker wasn’t sure which one it had come from.

Did Megatron really give a damn about how the Autobots treated them? His field teeked offense that Sunstreaker didn’t quite understand.

“If you fought for me I would use your full potential.”

...What had he said last time about not letting surprise get the better of him again?

Well, he just failed at that. Sunstreaker stumbled a step, and that was enough of an opening for Megatron to grab him by the upper arm, yanking him flush with the larger mech’s chassis. He snarled and fought against the grip, useless as that was. It was too tight, Megatron was too strong—and completely ignored the digits of his free arm that dug into his side.

And the kick to his shins, for that matter. “I’m not a traitor,” Sunstreaker hissed, staring up at the burning red optics, feeling their heat—and knowing his own frame matched it, his vents panting already, and harder by the moment.

“Oh, but you already are,” Megatron growled at him. “You want my spike, enough that you lie to your leaders. Aren’t relations with the enemy explicitly forbidden in the Autobot code, hmm?”

Damn him, but he wasn’t wrong.

Sunstreaker had no argument to that, but he revved his engine all the same, even as something thick and hot pumped through his lines, setting him aflame.

“You know it as well as I do,” Megatron said in a low rumble before wrapping a servo around his waist and pulling him up off his pedes. Sunstreaker scrambled against his chassis, but then rough lips had already found his. His vents gasped, Megatron pressed him against himself, and if their kiss had been brief and chaste last time, this was nothing like that. Megatron bit his lower lip and when Sunstreaker’s mouth fell open from the sting, the tyrant’s glossa pushed straight in.

Sunstreaker shivered from helm to pede as his mouth was thoroughly plundered, the heat of it traveling down his frame until it settled solidly in his groin. He could feel his valve slicking even further, and Primus, but here he was again, about to get fragged by the enemy and turned the fuck on from it.

He moaned. Slag him to pit and back but he moaned into the kiss and didn’t even try to pull away. He should’ve. He really, really should’ve.

But he didn’t.

Megatron’s servo, the one not holding him about his waist, traveled along his frame until his aft was cupped. Before he could think better of it, Sunstreaker wrapped his legs around the tyrant’s waist, pressing their frames closer together until the heat from their engines mingled, the thrum of Megatron’s frame vibrating into his own.

Megatron ground them together, and pits, but the heat wafting from his cover matched the one coming off of Sunstreaker’s. Sunstreaker took pleasure in knowing Megatron wasn’t unaffected by this either—but then again, if he wasn’t, why would he do any of this?

One day—one day he’d find out why the warlord had taken a sudden interest in him… But in the right now Sunstreaker only wanted one thing, and Megatron had it.

But he wasn’t about to ask for it.

It didn’t matter. Megatron wanted it too, and he had no qualms about taking it, with or without a permission. That worked for Sunstreaker just fine.

Without ever letting up from his mouth—the press of lips against lips—Megatron lowered them to the ground, Sunstreaker’s back hitting it surprisingly softly.

But what wasn’t soft was the way Megatron moved against him. He might’ve removed his glossa from its thrusts into Sunstreaker’s mouth, but it was only to bite his lips instead, sharpened denta more than grazing the mesh of his faceplates. One of the tyrant’s servos slipped between them, brushing against his valve cover before the tips of his claws pressed into the seams again, the demand clear.

Sunstreaker didn’t open. The claws pressed harder—Megatron bit harder. And he didn’t need to say it when it was so clear in his gestures—open, or this comes off entirely.

And that still wasn’t something Sunstreaker wanted to explain to his side.

He relented with that threat, retracting it. Megatron’s digits slipped into the sopping opening, first one, then two, then three, until Sunstreaker was grinding against them, his vents blasting scorching air. He had to strangle his vocalizer to keep his moans from breaking loose, but his engine revved and his field became a viscous thing, bleeding his arousal all over the place.

He wanted it. Everyone on the scene knew he wanted it, and Sideswipe only stood by and let him have it. Soundwave too, for that matter, but then his only reason to be here was likely to keep Sideswipe from interfering.

That was no concern.

Megatron grabbed his aft tighter and lifted his hips after he’d removed his digits from his valve, and there was the snap of another cover retracting before the impossible width of the larger mech nudged against his valve, then pushed in. It split him so fucking wide–

And Sunstreaker wouldn’t have it any other way. He groaned with utter satisfaction as Megatron thrust in all the way, sheathing the entirety of his spike into his body—and there was a lot to take there, both in girth and length. He was full in the best fucking way by the end of it, and Megatron, the slagger, barely gave him time to adjust before he’d already fetched his spike, only to ram it back in.

It was violent, harsh, uncaring, and Sunstreaker loved every second of it, the scrape of the warlord’s spike against the sensors of his valve, over and over again as Megatron chased his pleasure and drove Sunstreaker higher on the side, slam after slam. His engine couldn’t keep up, stuttering and roaring as his arousal built to that point where his mind turned to fragging mush and only the pleasure mattered.

And still Megatron pressed into his frame until his crotch and the backs of his thighs complained with every impact, sure to dent under the assault of Megatron’s thicker, stronger armor.

Sunstreaker closed his optics to the torrent of sensation, but even so he just knew Megatron was watching his every reaction. The fragger’s field had that taste of self-satisfaction to it, the like that a mech got when they knew they were unraveling another despite the victim’s best efforts.

And oh, but Sunstreaker tried to hold back, to deny the pleasure in his systems, to prolong the experience–

But it was a battle he was quickly losing. His valve tightened until Megatron was growling against him–

And Sunstreaker came. A hoarse cry rose from his throat, his frame snapped taut, charge crackled all across his plating, and fucking Primus but it was one of the best overloards of his goddamn life. Megatron kept thrusting through the spasmodic ripples of his valve, drawing it out further and further until Sunstreaker thought he might go mad, the pleasure multiplying to levels that utterly blinded him and fritzed his processors.

He could only focus on that, Megatron’s spike hammering into him… And Sideswipe.

Sideswipe, who was on his knees on the ground, moaning through his own overload, overwhelmed by what Sunstreaker was experiencing.

And then Megatron, finally, lost his restraint and slammed against him one more time before the arcs of miniature lightning shot out from the gaps of his armor and the hot pulse of transfluid joined the mess in Sunstreaker’s already drenched valve.

He was panting, but with Megatron’s frame atop him, there was little he could do to truly cool himself. Sunstreaker’s optics opened and he stared up at the sky, past Megatron’s bulk…

Then he tilted his helm back to have an upside down view of his brother. Sideswipe was staring at the ground, his fans running high, but as unexpected as his reaction had been… He wasn’t opposed to it.

It was pretty fun, actually.

Sunstreaker chuckled, prompting Megatron to look at him, and at the last minute the twin remembered he was supposed to glare.

Which he proceeded to do. The corner of Megatron’s mouth twitched like he was fighting back a smile.

Fucking bastard.

...Who was really good at fucking.

Like, really good.

...He was fragging doomed, wasn’t he?

“Did that feel good?” Megatron rumbled at him, and this time he did smile.

Sunstreaker glared harder. “Go jump in a fucking smelter.”

Megatron had the audacity to laugh at him, but he chose that moment to pull out, thoroughly distracting Sunstreaker from any retort he might’ve had. Instead he shuddered, hating the cold air that invaded his gaping, empty valve, and immediately missing the heat of Megatron’s frame when the tyrant sat back.

Missing that? What the pit was wrong with him…

A lot of things, honestly.

“You were driving along your patrol route–” Megatron spoke up. He’d pulled a cloth from his subspace and was wiping his spike with it. “–Until a few of the Stunticons intercepted you. You fought.”

“We’ll tell that much once we get back to the Ark,” Sideswipe said, drawing everyone’s attention. His brother was inspecting the lubricant leaking from the seams of his panel.

It didn’t look one bit like Sideswipe had fought anything, because he hadn’t, but they could fix that easily enough. “I mean, that’s totally something we’d fail to report right away,” Sideswipe continued, looking up with a wry grin.

“Very well,” Megatron said, his optics shifting back to Sunstreaker and flashing with… What? Lust? Anticipation?

Megatron leaned down, and before Sunstreaker could string two thoughts together, another scorching but chaste kiss was already pressed to his mouth, melting away any thoughts he was even trying entertain.

He was going to hell for this, but Unicron’s tailpipe if he wasn’t enjoying the ride there.

“I look forward to our next encounter,” Megatron growled at him, the tip of his digit resting under his jaw, sharp and dangerous–

And then Megatron pulled away and rose to his pedes, his equipment safely tucked away, but fluids still splattered on his groin and an unholy amount of paint transfers telling the story of their illicit affair.

But it wasn’t like there was anyone to tell Megatron he shouldn’t be doing this. He could go home looking however he wanted to.

Sunstreaker, on the other hand?

He and Sideswipe would need to do some covering up again.

Sunstreaker didn’t even bother sitting up as he watched Megatron walk away. Soundwave transformed onto his servo again, and then the tyrant and his Third were already shooting away from the scene of the crime, just like last time.

Sideswipe came over to him once the Decepticons were gone, a grin on his brother’s face. They’d both had fun, hadn’t they? “Okay, let’s get cracking. Prowl might still send someone to check out this location.”

And Sunstreaker very well couldn’t march into the Ark looking like he did now, yeah.

------------------------------------------------------------

It was an appropriately long time later that they arrived back at the Ark, a little worse for wear. They’d banged up Sideswipe too, in keeping with their story of the both of them having fought the Stunticons.

First stop, medbay. Sideswipe commed Prowl on their way there. ::Hi Prowl! Yeah, yeah, it went well. But! We ran into Drag Strip, Dead End, and Wildrider. Didn’t sustain any serious injuries but we’re gonna run by Ratchet. You want our reports afterwards?:: And there it came, the ‘why didn’t you comm. anyone about this?’ ::Weeee didn’t think it was that important?:: Sideswipe offered with just the right amount of hesitation to sound truthful. ::I don’t think they were doing anything more ‘an driving around before they ran into us and decided to start trouble.::

Ah, yeah, they shouldn’t be the judges of that. ::Sorreeeeh. We’ll make the reports extra good to make up for this, deal?::

And they got their permission to do that. Fantastic.

Now, Ratchet. “Raaaaatch!” Sideswipe hollered the moment the medbay doors opened for them, which was perfectly unnecessary because the medic was in the medbay proper and looked up when they entered.

His expression darkened when he saw them. “What the slag did you get up to?!” he asked as he dropped whatever he was doing and marched towards them. “Berth apiece, stat!”

The twins walked over to the nearest two berth and sat on them. Sideswipe grinned. “Fun with some Stunticons~ ‘Least Motormaster wasn’t there, imagine how that would’ve ended.”

Sunstreaker snorted. Yeah, the messes they’d be if the crazed Optimus wannabe had been present…

The messes they should be because Megatron had been present.

Except he hadn’t wanted to fuck them up, just fuck one of them.

“Did you call the Ark?” Ratchet asked, and oh dear but those were promises of bad things in his voice, right there. Sunstreaker had to fight back a grimace.

“Uhhh… No?” Sideswipe was very careful when he said that, but it wasn’t enough to save them. Sideswipe got a hit on the helm first, then it was Sunstreaker’s turn. He growled in affront, rubbing at the new dent on him that blended very well with all the dents Megatron had caused.

They’d fixed the uh, ones around his thighs and crotch, to the best of their ability anyway, but that was it. He was banged up, his plating torn at places, claw marks on him—Sideswipe looked a little better, but not by much after what they’d done to him in the name of their cover story.

“Do you at least feel calmer?” Ratchet growled at him as he began his scans.

Boy, did they. Sunstreaker couldn’t stop his grin. Sideswipe laughed. “Do we ever~ That was good.”

Heh. Yeah.

Ratchet rolled his optics. “Good, I guess. So help me if you do that again, though! What is it with your inability to accept help?”

“Not our fault we can handle shit,” Sunstreaker huffed.

He got banged on the helm again. Ratchet, seriously.

“Stow that attitude. You’re not invincible.”

Yeah, Megatron had proven that well enough.

...These would be very long repairs if he was all Sunstreaker could think about.

( Next )

#transformers #maccadams #megatron #sunstreaker #sideswipe #ratchet #fic #2020 #ashes of icarus #megasun #ashes

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chaozrael · 7 years

Text

Cards against Cybertron 437 answers

Thx again to everyone who helped!!! Questions are here Link @decepti-auto-docs @e512 @horns-and-heels

1. Tarn

2. Functionism

3. Leakers huffing coolant fumes behind a dumpster in Rodion

4. A Time Travel Paradox

5. Death by traitor’s wheel

6. Chief Justice Tyrest

7. Nightmare Fuel

8. Militant Monoform Movement

9. Eight billion organic corpses rotting in the light of a binary sun

10. Thunderwing’s pretender shell

11. A big bag of T-Cogs

12. Leadership of a Mortilus death cult

13. Explosions

14. Interfacing in the exhaust pipe

15. Police brutality

16. Ten Ammonite prostitutes

17. A barrel of diesel-based hooch

18. A really nasty virus

19. Lubricant

20. Four million shanix in ill-gotten gains

21. A weak energon spritzer

22. Ten terrabytes of Lithonian porn

23. Autobot Special Ops

24. Soundwave fendered out of his mind on circuit boosters

25. Deep-throating Perceptor’s scope attachment.

26. Suppressing the memory of Beast Machines

27. Shockwave’s spectacular rack

28. Femmes with spikes

29. Taking lurid photos of suggestively posed Transformers toys

30. James Roberts’ private swimming pool full of tears

31. Being physically unable to orgasm without the mentioning of Starscream

32. A tone-inappropriate Weird Al dance number

33. Yet another sex virus infection

34. TFA Jazz’s crotch arrow

35. Whoever thought Kiss Players was an acceptable idea

36. Shota Bumblebee

37. The irresistibly soft, yielding delight of TFA Optimus’s lips

38. Watching Rescue Bots as trauma therapy

39. Pharma transforming his hands into dildos

40. Relentlessly mocking the inferiority of Rodimus

41. The unstoppable horror that is Michael Bay

42. Another bunch of shitty recolors

43. Drift sucking spike for drugs

44. Getting Star Sabered

45. Robots in disguise

46. War without end

47. Erotically inhaling bees

48. Peace through tyranny

49. Backfiring and walking away

50. Stealing a warworld

51. Interfacing with a turbofox

52. Doing the right thing

53. Going into combat while high as frag

54. Not giving two scraps about Rodion

55. Starscream

56. My collection of high-tech sex toys

57. Fragging Optimus Prime in exchange for a promotion

58. Misfire

59. A thing with three heads that keeps insisting it has no head

60. Galvatron the Barbarian King

61. A dead MTO

62. Land mines

63. Cannon fodder

64. K-Con recruitment office

65. A mission into uncharted space

66. The Wreckers

67. Taking volunteers

68. Chilly interface with a refrigeration unit

69. The Galactic Council’s stupid hats

70. A shock baton up my valve

71. Jacking into a generator

72. A first-printing edition of Towards Peace

73. An Autobot insignia

74. A really, really big gun

75. Electric shock therapy

76. Prowl’s sexy, sexy doorwings

77. The Covenant of Primus

78. Human germs

79. A steamy affair with a senator

80. The Matrix of Leadership

81. A blowjob from Megatron

82. Empurata

83. Primus on a bike

84. Unicrons severed head

85. The universal greeting

86. An issue of Racer Weekly, the Blurr edition (With the full page spread)

87. Camien make-up

88. A signed picture of Thunderclash

89. Rungs eyebrows

90. The Scavengers

91. The DJDs grandma

92. The Magnus armor

93. A face full of mnemosurgery needles

94. Cyclonus’ nightstick

95. Starscreams hooker heels

96. Bad fanfiction

97. Whirls boob cannons

98. Rodimus’ irrational hate for hats

99. The Rodpod

100. A portal to Cyberutopia

101. Tailgate crying through his visor

102. A vial of innermost energon

103. The power of love

104. Lockdowns missing hand

105. Devestators crotch

106. A briefcase

107. 10.000 Legislators

108. Trolling on the Big Conversation

109. An undead turbofox

110. Sentinel Primes (TFA) massive chin

111. Desecrating a corpse

112. A chainsaw sword

113. Overlords luscious lips

114. Flowers made of dead people

115. A horde of horny Insecticons

116. Mechs with mustaches

117. Homemade circuitboosters

118. Ratchet‘s complete lack of enthusiasm towards your bullshit

119. 5 virgin Seekers

120. A rendezvous with a tyrant of your choice

121. A specific paragraph in the Tyrest Accord

122. One of Rung‘s current theories on Lost Light group dynamics

123. Tranquilizers for combiners

124. The mysterious contents of Optimus Primes trailer

125. Prowl flipping tables

126. Semi dry pre-war midgrade with a hint of mercury. On the rocks.

127. Motor oil

128. Religious fanatism

129. The fucks James Roberts never gave.

130. Exotic little Cybertronian N.A.I.L. colonies

131. Overpriced hedonian trinkets

132. Shady backstreet medics

133. USB slots

134. A whole lot of messed up and tangled wires

135. Any moner‘s dream

136. A one eyed, one horned, flying, purple people-eater

137. Boobie headlights

138. Squishies

139. 4 million years of practice

140. Not giving a shit about lower castes

141. Any senator

142. A long and winding rhetorical excuse

143. Blip

144. Groundbreaking scientific proof

145. Perceptor's skope

146. Flywheels enormous feet

147. Thruster heels

148. Sensitive wing syndrome

149. Processed energon

150. Too much engex

151. Their inner demons

152. Hippies from Caminus

153. Traces of peanuts

154. A certain type of tires

155. Clogged tubes

156. A big fat spike

157. Basic hygiene rituals

158. A thorough massage

159. A third ridiculous and completely made up faction

160. A manipulated vote

161. Decepticon dictatorship

162. A little dancing group of miners

163. To be deaf and numb

164. A suppressed desire

165. A sentinent being

166. A non-sentinent being

167. Beautiful garbage

168. Half of their protoform

169. Their first embarrassing paintjob

170. Stick on tattoos

171. The greatest Autobot of all times

172. Cybertronian healthcare

173. Blowjobs for everyone

174. A reason to celebrate

175. The reason for his existence

176. A boygroup from Praxus

177. A sizekink

178. A passionate relationship

179. Twisted wires

180. Ritualized Iaconian folk dance

181. His botbook profile

182. A Decepticon spy

183. An Autobot spy

184. One million Shanix with a rather questionable origin

185. One million years dungeon!

186. Grinding gears

187. The altmode of their dreams

188. A field of sparks

189. Something unknown but with a peculiar smell

190. Chipped paint

191. Screeching tires

192. A flame paintjob

193. Death sentence

194. Tumblr

195. Drumming on the next best bot's chassis

196. More tires

197. Overrated upgrades for valves

198. Suction cups

199. Lonely veterans

200. Human clothing kink

201. A broken spark

202. A simple misunderstanding about paintjob colour that lead to a total shitstorm

203. A pile of scrap

204. A quick escalation

205. Sparklings

206. That ass

207. Hope

208. Poor life choices

209. �� My existential gay crisis

210. Unfathomable stupidity

211. A windmill full of corpses

212. Actually getting shot, for real.

213. Teaching robots to love

214. A tank full of Sharkticons

215. Daring to be stupid

216. Cyberforming an entire planet

217. Eating a G.I.Joe

218. Vos´ face

219. Whatever Tarn is compensating for with his double arm canon

220. Loki Maximo

221. Decorative spikes

222. Bad luck Pipes

223. Showing off your step dancing skills and accidentally killing a random bot

224. Something that came out of Tarantulas butt

225. Botflix

226. Untagged porn

227. A trigger warning

228. Getting overcharged at 8 am

229. Witwicky white trash

230. Energon-Sushi that has gone bad

231. That prick Prowl

232. His daddy

233. Beauty products by Overlord

234. Popular dance hits

235. Primus, our lord and savior

236. A robot STD

237. A super soft padding

238. Your monthly oil change

239. A sudden and overwhelming hunger for ener-jonnies

240. Swapping fuel in public

241. Big, big pedes

242. Every face mask ever

243. Many little sockets on the side of his frame

244. A heavy burst of electricity

245. Five nights at Swerve´s

246. Tyrest´s crown of “spikes”

247. Covfefe

248. An even smaller version of Minimus Ambus

249. Domestication

250. A jammed door on the Peaceful Tyranny

251. 150 Autobots

252. The cancellation of “Till all are one”

253. Elita-1

254. A dead minibot in a box

255. Like 1000 caged sparkeaters

256. The gentle flap of some doorwings

257. A leisure center for retired Autobots

258. A good scolding from Nickel

259. The lack of oral hygiene

260. A bastard trapped in another bastard

261. Drift's criminal record

262. His nasty ex

263. At least three

264. Decepticon dance hits vol 1 – XX

265. Fancy fizzy drinks named after fierce Decepticons

266. More bad Crossovers

267. Just a black hole

268. An exact version of this in the my little pony universe

269. The softness of beastformer fur

270. 100 twerking seeker butts

271. Bad roleplay

272. Our hopes and fears

273. A nice game of “Dodge the blowtorch”

274. A leaking gearstick

275. Literal sparkplugs

276. The Co-captain

277. 50 shades of Tailgate

278. Wasps in my waste tanks

279. You wouldn't understand. It's a Combiner thing

280. Thats just another one of Elita's secrets

281. None-stop buttsex

282. Having a crush on your leader for centuries

283. Swindle's dead body

284. Gay Constructicons

285. A Cybertronian named Lubeguzzler

286. Overclocking your CPU out of boredom

287. Lesbian Spiders

288. Sum fuk

289. Tire butts

290. Gladiator erotica written by Megatron

291. Rejected outlier abilities.

292. Turning emblems upside-down

293. Your worst childhood's nightmare

294. More phase-sixers

295. Ambulon's better half

296. Onslaught´s bitterness

297. Starscream's underfraggedness

298. The worst holomatter avatar

299. Robot bollocks

300. Synthetic spikes hanging from the ceiling

301. A tank drainage

302. Ejecting their spike

303. Horns

304. Datapads

305. Megatron's fleshli-Cannon

306. Shooting your best friend

307. Soundwave's highly talented data cables

308. Starscreams ego

309. Liege Maximo's prison cell inside Carcer

310. Rung's candy collection

311. Gentle trigger strokes

312. Titan spikes

313. Unauthorized brain module surgery

314. Needle fingers

315. Optic Cleanser

316. Fleshies

317. Heat simulation chips

318. The „botfather“

319. A Tale of Two Tankors

320. An engorged scraplet

321. Engineering a time machine just to stalk your long dead crush

322. Ratchet´s favorite wrench

323. Robo boobs

324. Ack!

325. That time someone thought gelatinous spikes were a good idea.

326. He can't deal with this right now

327. Spike enlargement surgery

328. Optimus getting slapped

329. Megatron getting some fiiiine booty

330. A weird obsession with humans

331. Misfire's secret booze storage

332. Spinster's hands

333. Gently crushing golden thighs

334. Rust

335. An enraged pistachio

336. The real reason Roddimus hates hats

337. Ark-1

338. A handful of confetti on Garrus-9

339. Galvatron's goddamn sexy thighs

340. Storing candy up his gun barrel

341. An alt-mode kink

342. Party ambulance

343. Combiner gang bang

344. Predacon glossa

345. Sniffing beastformer butt

346. The large plug

347. Build-a-bear horrors

348. Engex

349. Knockout's astranged uncle

350. Breakdown and Knockout becoming parents

351. Fidget spinner spinner alt mode

352. That sparkle bot down the street

353. A dirty boy

354. A thick boy

355. Shockwave's bosom

356. Sneezing sparklings

357. A softly purring engine

358. The Cybertronian equivalent to snoring

359. Soundwave's perfectly sculpted aft

360. Bumblebee's butt screw

361. Insecticon infestation

362. Incesticons

363. Wheeljack's mouth fixation

364. Unicrons beard

365. Unicron! Not Unicorn!

366. A mask covering his ugliness

367. Bad dentals

368. That bar on Caminus

369. Blurr's turbo spike

370. What happened back then in the teen-bot summer camp

371. Rodimus discovering emojis

372. The burning frame of your enemy

373. The smell of victory

374. Dr. Octogonapus

375. Bayformers Optimus' Prime's boobs

376. Crosshairs attitude

377. The swarm

378. One tiny beeping bean

379. Weaponless Ironhide

380. Your crackship

381. Hydraulic twerking

382. Five thousand starving scraplets

383. Trypticon's Dinospike

384. Pre war hypocricy

385. Grimlock's happy leg

386. That one container of bad engex

387. Wheeljack's "Special" experiments

388. Eggs

389. Popular waxing techniques during the golden age

390. Helex´ cooking

391. Cyclonus' broken horn

392. Violently pelvic thrusting at your neighbor

393. Killmasters wand

394. Squealing scientists

395. The urgent need to align all your pens to the left

396. It's a Lost Light thing, you wouldn't understand

397. Bulkhead's "Bulkhead"

398. Dating boats

399. Seeker screaming sessions

400. That one time Optimus was actually right.

401. Space fashion

402. Swerve's stripper pole

403. Bunny suits on bots

404. 40 buckets

405. Quintesson poop

406. My new line of Pipes shoes

407. Prison gayness

408. Froid's yaoi arms

409. Whirl, making ticking noises

410. Bellydancing Drift

411. Deadlock, aka Bleplock

412. Subsidized aerobic classes for middle sized grounders

413. Being too big for the transport shuttle

414. Prowl's excess weight

415. Actual headcanons

416. Rewind's alleged sex tapes

417. Incompatible drivers

418. Human collateral

419. Holding Perceptor's legs so he can shoot things

420. Rodimus' magic butt crack

421. Seeing Cosmos in space and not saying 'Hello'

422. Sleeping baby beans

423. tfw2005 fuckboys

424. Cannibalistic Insecticons

425. A good old EMP blast

426. Your motherboard

427. Dinobot tranquilizers

428. Exactly what you get when you mess with a taser

429. Lugnuts P.O.K.E

430. A cheesy tune written by tarn in his spare time

431. TFP Arcee's secret third wheel

432. Waking up next to a beastformer and knowing that nothing will ever be the same again

433. G1 physics

434. Humansonas

435. That awful snarling sound Dinobot keeps on making

436. Verity in short shorts

437. Bikini day on the Nemesis

#Cards against cybertron

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