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thebroccolination · 2 days

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“IF NO ONE ACCEPTS YOU, YOU HAVE ME”

Lately I’ve seen the narrative around Krist shifting from “he’s homophobic” to “he was homophobic, but he got better :)” so!

Let’s go back to a moment in 2017 during a ceremony where Krist and Singto accepted an award from the Thai branch of the gay magazine Attitude (now defunct). That’s the magazine that published this photoshoot:

[Attitude, 2018, promoting SOTUS S] (they also did one in 2016 for SOTUS)

Krist said that a friend of his once came out to his parents, and the parents wouldn’t accept him, so Krist told his friend, “It’s okay. If no one accepts you, you have me, and I accept you for who you are.”

So, yes, Krist was hotheaded when people kept harassing him about his sexuality, but can anyone truly blame him? No one looks at all the times he answered politely. Just the one time he broke. [EDIT: I just spoke with someone who was there when the infamous IG story was posted, and they said: “Krist's tone and demeanour when he emphatically said "no" was like, y'know, still friendly. It's like when friends tease you relentlessly and you say ‘no’ more forcefully to get them to stop?” And that actually was my first impression of it back in 2020—a joke that landed badly. And it lines up with his first apology: that he felt badly because his answer was taken out of context.]

There are people today who film these guys at the urinal. Who treat them like property because of money and time spent on them. Who hire trucks to drive around their company building making demands. And it’s 2024. GMMTV has legal teams on this stuff now. But you and I can’t imagine what kind of invasiveness Krist and Singto went through in 2016 as one of the first pairs in the BL industry to gain overnight fame and rabid, unprecedented focus from millions. Of course he snapped. It’s widely known that fans and reporters target Krist over Singto to get information even today because Singto never gives anyone the satisfaction of a reaction, but Krist is a people-pleaser and truly struggles with saying no to people. He’s always been the emotional one, the one who overthinks, the one desperate to make people happy. And when fans wanted to force KristSingto to publicly say that they were secretly dating, fans thought they could get Krist to break first, and they were right. (Personally, I always thought the Instagram story was an exaggerated joke that was a barely veiled “drop it.” EDIT: I’m glad at least one person who was there at the time can corroborate this.)

Then interfans came along, marked him as an easy target, and maliciously miscast him as a bigot to wave after wave of new interfans who never bothered to research further after a random person on the internet told them he’s a homophobe.

Krist asked his parents for their blessing to audition for SOTUS when he was still a teenager. He was afraid of what they’d think, but because his parents are lovely people, they supported him. And they still do. Krist’s father has a running joke that he’ll let Krist marry Singto if Singto brings a durian for the dowry.

I never included Singto in my clarification thread because I knew how quickly people would dismiss anything with Singto as conniving, tricksy fanservice. But you really don’t know anything about Krist until you see him with people he considers his safe spaces. That includes people like Mike. Like Gawin. Godji. Oat. These people who love him because he’s earned it.

I know I talk about this a lot. But I won’t ignore it when people try to twist his character, especially with I see them making assumptions about the premise of Ex-Morning. All I believe is that he was angry and afraid and overwhelmed. Then he reacted, apologized, and learned how to handle the fame and the invasiveness better.

Please stop trying to claw marrow out of a past mirage.

#krist perawat #i’m just gonna post this now before ex-morning promo and kristsingto activities really get going #leave my son alone thank you

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peachesofteal · 2 days

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RAAAAAAAAH CHAPTER 13 BRO!!!!!

as always, i read it like a rabid animal, and then reread the prev 4 chapters and then reread this again HAHA

your work ages like fine wine, and i read and treasure every word of it, especially on rereads when i can make myself slow down to really take it all in <3

"He takes it all away. Every time." made me WEEP!!!!! its what she DESERVES!!!! the dependability and the escape into him and simon (simon takes charge obvs, but johnny is just as much an outlet. sweet sweet boy)

i think he also realizes that she's seeing it as escapism and starts to fall away a bit, bc of how he stops her and asks to check in. it makes me curious abt his and simon's early relationship, if he's recognizing the same pattern of behavior and comparing them.

going on with that, when she was showing them her scars, AUUUUUUGH. that hit so hard man. the “No but… they’re hideous.”

“No.” Simon croaks, voice thick. “There isn’t a single part of you that isn’t perfect.”

SIMOOOOOOOON he sees so much of himself in her. its gotta be heartbreaking, knowing she's where he used to be. he gets it fr. i cant imagine two people more suited for her, someone who's been where she is and got out, and the person who's helped get that someone out of that pit. fuck dude. you're so good at this HAHAHA

im not gonna say nothin abt the good girl stuff…. but heehee!

also also "I'm not a little human nurse" made me laugh so hard LMAO pure arizona from grey's. ive been watching it lately (started right before you started posting simple math actually) reading the hospital bits of SM, you do a really good job of capturing the same energy and stakes and work dynamics that you get watching grey's. im honestly still waiting for the other shoe to drop on the stupid attending marshall, there's always something that a shitty attending can mess up down the road lmao

the ending on this chap killed me though. they knew she was flighty, and that she's smart and capable, but its gotta be so hard to get the relief of her coming back after the day out without answering the phone, only to find the papers the next morning. in bunny's defense though, she mentioned in chapters before moving in (i think before graves hurt her?) with them that she had to start looking at outs, and these papers aren't a 2-day turnaround; she probably bought them weeks ago and only now picked them up. i could be wrong though! i think its unfortunate timing, but she also probably just wants the relief knowing that she's got the backup plan accessible. as much as she loves the boys and penny, she's still not used to having the dependability. the safety scares her, or at least gives her the idea of a false sense of security, since she's been on edge for so so long.

i give her big smooch. poor bun. poor boys, and poor penny. manifesting the worst for graves, truly, rot in hell you idiot american

i hope you're feeling better, its lovely to read your works but even better when you're doing well yourself ❤️❤️❤️

I loved reading this! I adore you.

I love how you noticed that Johnny does stop to check in. He has a very firm grip on her mental and emotional state, (it’s not his first rodeo) and he knows just how to bring her back.

The two of them + Bunny is really a dream come true even if she doesn’t realize it yet (they do) and it will take a lot of time and work on everyone’s part.

I think your notes in your last paragraph are pretty spot on, too. Bunny will talk about it more in the next two chapters but- getting a new identity is not a two day turnaround.

Also yeah, I was channeling Arizona with that line 💀 I was hoping someone would catch it!

10/10 I love your breakdowns, no notes, perfection, they always make me smile.

#peaches asks #frogladder

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redshoes-blues · 1 year

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Let's Talk About Clocks, Baby

Something is off with the timeline, emotions alter time, Mike is in danger, and it'll be up to Will Byers to fix this whole mess.

I'll be taking a look at some of the most prominent clocks and time references in Stranger Things to see if we can learn anything from them. At the heart of this analysis is the idea that Will is the antidote to the time fuckery. Oh, and also emotions have the power to alter the movement of time. Aka emotionsgate?! And gay love will save the day. This is a long one, so I hope you enjoy your read! :)

"We are all time travellers, if you think about it."

We've all been talking about the time shenanigans going on in Stranger Things, lately, so in my current rewatch of ST3, I've been looking out for any possible hints that could have been foreshadowing for ST4. I've found a couple.

First, let's bring in the Starcourt Mall clock.

This is the clock used in the Russian code. You know, the part that goes "when blue meets yellow in the west"? Yeah, that clue is inside a CLOCK

We all know about colour theory, how the Russian code has a possible ST4/byler meaning and how certain characters are coded with colours (blue = Mike, yellow = Will), so that bit is obvious. And yeah, colour theory is a bit overdone, but hear me out!

The fact that clocks are Vecna’s symbol and that’s the thing the blue and yellow part of the code has been applied to?! Wild.

The obvious main clock symbol is the grandfather clock at the Creel house that appears in the visions of Vecna’s victims. In the visions, the same clock rings four times (meaning four gates). It's even this very clock that orchestrates the fall of Hawkins. But clocks also appear behind Max before we learn that she’s the next target. This is massive foreshadowing!

So all of this got me thinking of clocks and time, and all of the theories floating around that show how important time is going to be in ST5. The whole plot of the final season is going to be about defeating Vecna, who is associated with clocks, and dealing with Upside-Down-Hawkins. This last bit is extra interesting since we know the Upside Down is set in the past.

And for a long time my main theory has been that Will is the key to finally defeating Vecna. Which I still think will be true, but I also think it’ll have more to do with the time shenanigans than I originally suspected.

I mean, Dustin isn't far off when he says this in ST4:

Will's connection with Vecna is special. From the parallels between him and Henry to Will the Wise and the numerous hints that he has untapped powers. And especially the fact that he's the one who realizes the Mind Flayer and Vecna are still alive (in ST3/ST4, respectively).

So, because Vecna is associated with clocks, I've been looking out for other clocks during my rewatch. Which brings me back to this:

The Starcourt Mall clock is specifically mentioned in the text. In fact, it's part of the Russian code. It isn't just a prop, but a piece of the plot. That's what made me do a triple-take while watching, this time around. It isn't just a random clock.

So, if Will is yellow and the key to defeating Vecna (more on that shortly), then what does the clock say about all this?

If I allow myself to get extra meta with the visual analysis, the fact that the clock’s hands play into colour theory could be a clue. It's the hands that are yellow and blue: the active parts of the clocks which have the ability to move through time. The hands of a clock show time moving. As we know, time in the Upside Down has stopped for some reason. It's stuck in a loop related to Will's disappearance.

Entering the UD is a bit like time travelling. And as El said at the start of ST4, we're all time travellers.

In fact, we know that Henry’s powers have some effect on time. Or at least on the Creel clock. Because when Henry first taps into his powers, the grandfather clock's hands start to move backwards. It’s implied that Henry is making this happen.

The same thing happens later in the season, when Vecna is showing Nancy the vision of Hawkins’ future. It includes this clip of the Creel clock with its hands turning backwards:

So, in a way, Vecna is altering time. We aren’t sure how or why yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it has something to do with emotions or trauma (which I'll get into soon). Especially because Vecna's attacks have to do with trauma, and the antidote so far has been positive emotions and memories that are brought to the surface through music.

Clock Magic?

Another thing to take into consideration is how the Creel clock is connected to Henry's powers, and also seems to possess power of its own. We see this when Max "dies" and the fourth gate is created. The Creel clock chimes four times, and then the Upside Down begins to leak into Hawkins. We can see this in the two GIFs below (shit quality, sorry about that!):

The clock chimes four times and then there is a "frenzied ticking" which builds throughout the scene as Hawkins falls to Vecna. The scene implies that the clock itself has something to do with this.

What does this mean for the timeline in ST5?

We know the Upside Down is in the past. Specifically, the day Will vanishes (November 6, 1983). It seems likely that it works as a time loop, with the same day on repeat until the cycle is broken. Or maybe there are several days which repeat themselves until it resets at the point Will enters the UD. We really don't know for sure. But we do know that it's definitely the past.

What does this mean for Hawkins? Is Hawkins becoming stuck in time as well? Will it be cut off from the outside world because of this? Is the clock slowing down time, ensuring Hawkins remains stuck in its current state because emotions (we'll get there, don't worry)? I definitely don't have the answers yet, but please let me know if you have any ideas how this could be working. It's all so fascinating!

But however it works, there's definitely some time fuckery going on. Whether it's related to the Creel clock itself or Vecna's powers, or whatever Will has done that made the UD shape to himself — well, again, who knows! Not me, but I wanted to point it out because it's clearly going to be a massive part of ST5.

Will is the Antidote

Season 5 is going to be about defeating Vecna (obviously).

But first: in order to stop a villain, you need an antidote to their powers. Right now, El and Vecna share most of the same powers. She hasn't been able to defeat him yet, even though her powers are the strongest they have ever been. There's a missing piece there.

We see this illustrated in the D&D game at the start of ST4, which serves as foreshadowing for the events that happen in the season. An 11 is rolled, but it's a miss. It isn't until Erica (an unlikely hero and outsider in the game) rolls a 20 that Vecna is defeated. And then that exact thing plays out in Hawkins when El isn't able to defeat Vecna.

We have yet to see what the IRL 20 will be, because Vecna "wins" at the end of ST4. He gets what he wanted when the four gates are created and Hawkins falls. But my guess is that it'll have to do with Will. Everything began with Will, and it will end with him too.

Which brings me back to Will and the clock. Because Will serves as a foil for Vecna as a character. They are both sensitive and different (read: gay) and have an abusive parent who tries to make them fit into societal expectations — to no avail. They both draw. They both have close connections with the UD and Mind Flayer. But here we're getting a bit of a Star Wars light side / dark side of the force parallel, where Will has chosen to be good and Vecna has become the villain.

One character is trying their best to work through their trauma, and the other is lashing out in anger.

All of this is to say that I think the Starcourt Mall clock could be a bit of foreshadowing for ST4 and the role Will plays moving forward into ST5. Just as Henry is able to stop time in the UD, Will will be able to move it forward again.

This could happen in any number of ways, and I'm still not sure how the weird time shenanigans will play out, but what I am certain of is that Will is the key to solving everything. And it will likely come down to emotions and healing his traumatic past.

Time and Emotions

At the very start of ST4, El quotes something Joyce tells her about time. She says that emotions slow time down, but they also speed it back up. She then directly mentions time travel in relation to our emotions.

"Joyce says time is funny like that. Emotions can make it speed up or slow down. We are all time travellers, if you think about it."

Given this line about time travel being related to emotions, I think that emotions/feelings/love are going to be the thing that allows Will to fix the UD and defeat Vecna.

This bit about emotions is huge. Because we see that the UD is shaped by Henry, and is later shaped around Will’s vanishing. Emotional and traumatic memories for the both of them. In Will’s case, did time in the UD dimension slow down because he left an emotional imprint on the landscape, via his trauma?

And if this really is the case, then it only seems natural that the process of saving Hawkins will be wrapped up with Will healing his trauma. Just like how Vecna's victims can be saved through music and positive memories/emotions.

Like the cleric he plays in D&D, Will is going to save Hawkins, healing his own trauma and dealing with his emotions in order to move forward.

How?

Realizing the power within himself in both a literal and metaphorical sense. Harnessing the powers he has and his connection to the MF/Vecna, yes, but also by learning that he is a valuable person who doesn't have to make himself smaller for the benefit of other people's happiness.

Confronting his trauma relating to the Upside Down, maybe by helping to close it off once and for all; or by restoring it to its pre-Vecna state. Healing that dimension so the leakage of Henry Creel's trauma doesn't seep into Hawkins any longer. And in doing so, healing the trauma within himself.

Accepting his own queerness and learning that being different doesn't make him a mistake. Realizing that he is loved and deserves to feel this love. Part of this will be related to coming out, and I think another piece will be related to requited love.

All of these have to do with his emotions, and they will be the way he’s able to save Hawkins.

Because when we look at Vecna and his victims, what he represents as a metaphor in the show, we're dealing in the area of emotions and trauma. For Max, she is dealing with complicated feelings after Billy's death. But she also represses those feelings and doesn't open up to her friends until it's almost too late.

If we look at Patrick, Lucas suspected he was dealing with abuse at home, but Patrick never talked about it with anyone. Same with Fred's guilt about the hit-and-run. He's terrified of the idea that he'll be found out. In the case of Chrissy, her own boyfriend has no idea about what she's going through.

So not only are Vecna's victims dealing with trauma, mental health issues, and complex emotions, but they are also actively repressing these emotions.

Not to get too psychoanalytic here, but healing from trauma and dealing with your emotions properly requires you to be open, rather than repressing what you feel. I think this is one reason why music is used as the antidote to getting Vecna'd. Because music allows us to deal with our emotions in a more positive way. It also connects us to positive memories, like Running Up That Hill does for Max, or Should I Stay Or Should I Go does for Will.

In Will's case, a large piece in his character arc is learning to accept that he's gay and has feelings for Mike. Really, this has been most of his arc for ST3 and ST4. This isn't resolved yet, so he'll be continuing to deal with this self-acceptance (and eventual coming out process) in ST5.

To bring it back to that Starcourt Mall clock: Will is the yellow hand on the clock, but it isn't just him that's implicated in all of this. This is yellow meeting blue that we're talking about!

The blue hand. What is Mike's role in all of this?

So if clocks = Vecna, and Will is going to be the antidote to healing Hawkins, then Mike has his own important role to play as the other hand on the clock (and also as the boy Will is in love with, and a main character who is repressing a lot of his own issues).

If Vecna has another target, it's going to be Mike.

[GIF doesn't belong to me! You can find it here]

I feel so strongly about this. For SO many reasons.

Here's a bulleted list of some of them:

Mike has displayed feelings of self-loathing over the course of the show (cliff scene, I'm looking you right in the eye)

He represses his emotions, both to his loved ones and the audience — and potentially with himself

The above GIF is a very ominous parallel between Mike and Max which suggests Mike may be about to get a Vecna vision. HOWEVER, the scene is from Will's POV, so we don't see what Mike sees

Which is its own point: we haven't seen what Mike sees in all of ST4 (except briefly in the couch scene, which I analyzed here), as well as most of ST3. His inner world is deliberately hidden

If Mike is gay and/or in love with Will like I believe he is, there will be a lot of unresolved feelings to deal with there. The kind of micro-trauma queer folks deal with, especially during the 1980s

The tense relationship between Mike and both of his parents, but especially Ted. This point doubles when you contextualize it with Ted being a Reagan supporter (aka a rampant homophobe whose disgusting treatment of queer men in the 80s led to thousands of deaths)...who knows what kind of shit he's said to Mike that we haven't been shown

The whole trauma of having his best friend "die" and then turn up alive, as well as the similar trauma of believing El was still out there even though everyone assumed she died

Probably other shit I'm forgetting. But mostly how weird he's been acting, and especially how terrified he looks on that couch

I know lots of people assume Will is Vecna's #1 target, but I actually don't think he's a target at all. Will is more akin to a Luke Skywalker type figure who Vecna wants to team up with, turning him to the "dark side" because he sees Will as similar to him. There's a reason Vecna didn't have Will killed like everyone else.

As we’ve learned: emotions can speed up time or slow it down. I’m thinking there’s probably a metaphorical thing with positive vs. negative feelings as well. Like: not dealing with our trauma and repressing our negative feelings leads to a person being stuck in the past. In a literal way with the Upside Down, but also a metaphorical way. Positive emotions work in the opposite way, allowing us to let go of the past and move into the future.

Emotions can turn back the clock. They can slow down time. Emotions = time travel

The above scene is from the end of ST3, when Hopper's letter is being read out as the Byers move away. Hopper is describing how he was afraid of change (the future, El growing up, things changing), so he tried to stop that change. He tried to TURN BACK THE CLOCK. And look at who the camera pans to when he says this...

In a scene which directly mirrors the hug between Karen and Mike when Mike runs home believing Will is dead.

Both scenes have Heroes playing in the background, by the way. A song which summarizes all of the queer themes in the show, which I did an analysis of here.

Mike is a character who we don’t know anything about the internal world of. Which I think is a massive red (green?) flag for his chances of getting the Vecna treatment, given that he’s really the only main character who we don’t hear from in this way. The only time it even appears like we might be hearing from him, he’s just parroting what Will tells him to say to El.

So, for me, the blue hand (Mike) in the clock (Vecna) is foreshadowing for the fact that he may be targeted by Vecna in ST5. Maybe he's already been targeted and we just haven't seen it from his POV, yet. I actually think this will be the reason Will stops repressing his powers and learns how to use them (whatever they are). Or learns to use his connection to the UD in order to save the love of his life.

Because if all of this time stuff comes down to emotion, Will needs to accept that his feelings for Mike don’t make him a mistake. He needs to learn to accept himself. And is there any better catalyst to enact that change than Mike being in danger? We saw how a life or death scenario made Max open up a bit more to her friends, and I feel the same will happen with Mike and Will.

So, to recap:

Clocks represent Vecna and also play into the weird time shenanigans that ST5 will definitely deal with

The Starcourt Mall clock has yellow (Will) and blue (Mike) hands to indicate that those two will play a key role in defeating Vecna

Will: is the antidote/positive opposite to Vecna; who Henry could have been if he healed from his trauma -> this means Will is the only one who can stop Vecna for good

Mike: prime target for a Vecna'ing in ST5 due to his whole aura, and this will probably be the catalyst for Will kicking into gear and solving shit

There's some funky stuff going on with the timeline/possible time travel stuff that is way too detailed for this analysis, and it's definitely an essential part of ST5 that we'll be dealing with

Emotions alter time and may even play into how time travel and the speeding up / slowing down of time works in the show

Healing trauma, dealing with emotions, and accepting yourself are all going to be major themes in ST5, and this will be the way that Vecna is defeated: the power of love?! I love to see it

Also: the Creel house clock might have some power of its own?

Author's Note

Well, that's it! The power of gay love saves the day. Truly iconic, if you ask me.

This analysis has been so fun to put together over the last week, and I hope you all have fun reading it as well! Originally it was meant to be a breakdown of the Starcourt Mall clock, but then I remembered the quote about emotions and time travel and it kind of had me gnawing at my screen because hyperfixations, so there's that.

As always, I love to hear people's thoughts on these analysis posts, so if you have any ideas that go along with this, feel free to add onto it. Or you can send me an ask if you have any questions! I'd love to hear what you think! :)

—Em

#this is like 3000 words lmao #and I think I still have more to say about it - especially the emotions/time stuff #anyways clocks are fun let’s talk about clocks. and emotions. and trauma. and gay love #oh and time travel!#st5 theory #mike you’re in danger! run!#byler #will byers is a hero and henry creel deserved a better childhood #what the FUCK is going on with that creek clock btw - I can’t figure that but out #byler analysis #byler meta #stranger things analysis #st5 theories #stranger things theory #stranger things meta #vecna #the upside down

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themyscirah · 7 months

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Thinking abt Jessica Cruz and the ability to overcome great fear again

#everybody including canon: omg hal is the greatest lantern kyle is the best etc. etc.#HOWEVER OKAY. my vision.....#with like 15 to 20 years of our time i could expand on stuff and give her THE character arc okay #like im just saying yellow lantern jess arc could ACTUALLY be so good bc i would do it as a way to bring her back to the corps stronger and #better and more assured #in herself because like its not about NOT being afraid is about OVERCOMING it and bravery isnt the absence of fear but action in spite of it #et cetera et cetera #like okay i was kidding when i said i think shed be more powerful than kyle or hal #because theyre both totally overpowered in their own way ofc with hal's willpower abilities at like insane levels and kyle's command of the #emotional spectrum being what it is et cetera #BUT. jess has such an interesting relationship with the ring and BEING a green lantern and its like i want to go deeper with that. like down #to the center of the earth deeper. because i feel like shes a character that would have such a great connection to being a lantern and would #especially be the one to embody the 'overcome great fear' phrase at its core #also like THE RELATIONSHIP SHE HAS TO BEING A LANTERN-#all the lanterns have interesting relationships to the corps or what it means to be a gl but for me jess's is just SOOOOOO compelling and #rich and just. being a lantern saved her life. becoming a lantern GAVE her her life BACK. on multiple levels!!!#like quite literally bc of the fact that volthoom died in her body before she got the ring but like before she became a gl she wasn’t living #a life at least not socially. even when she was power ring i still doubt HIGHLY that she even really left the watchtower when not on mission #because like. they glossed over it but the power ring doesnt come off. she was always like that and even with her control over it always a #little primed to blow and i think that's something jess was aware of even if the rest of the jl wasn't as much #bc she like was always reminded of how precarious her power over the power ring could be like it said HORRIBLE things to her all the time!!!#like on power it would be just calling her names like verbal abuse #so even while she had control over the ring it was a tenuous sort of precarious state and she was very aware of that!!!#and i feel like thats what it often comes down to for jess: control. i think its a key part of her character that she desires that sort of #control over herself and her fear due to feeling a lack of it for so long. and THATS why i think that yellow lantern jess has SO much #potential bc it has a huge chance to explore her relationship with the concept of control and harken back to her origin and early days as a #hero.#gosh i went on a tangent here but yeah. LOTS of feelings abt jess #basically a whole meta in the tags tbh #jessica cruz

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kitwing-moving · 1 year

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okay ummm one last cringepost before i go to bed i think eichi would like how hard i try to like. support him and always be there for him. and ofc i cant always come to his side because im busy or something but i always call him once im able and ask if he needs anything and i think he likes how much more energetic i get when i talk to him. sometimes though i tend to get a little? pessimistic out of nowhere in situations that piss me off and it always catches him off guard since he's used to me being upbeat and stuff 24/7 so he cant help but chuckle a little and it raises my mood a little and im like. Sorry i was being rude ^^;

#🐾.txt #'sorry i was being rude' didnt even say anything rude just grumbled and huffed and reluctantly went with the flow #angel paws #also um. kicks a rock. he'd be a little frustrated at how often i hold him at a distance from my own emotions and stuff despite me always #trying to help him with his. and while he does appreciate my dedication to him he does want me to open up more to him instead of just going #Ahh yeah (situation) sorta sucks but whatever itll be over with soon dw about it!!!! and i dismiss it #i do think it would take me a loooong time esp since i dont like to burden anyone else with what i feel especially if i cant #describe it. and i am a very intense and passionate person in general and so i do feel like itd be a overwhelming for him but.#he still wants to help despite that ok sorry this turned into viveichi essay i can have my bit of #cringecoping ok? snf snf...

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pepprs · 2 years

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ok update i just finished making my card and i said / drew (lol) basically everything i wanted to say in it (except for the things i definitely can’t say now that this is happening lol). so i think maybe i might be ok with not saying what i want to say directly to her. but then when i say that im not ok with it at all LOLLLL so i think i need to sleep on it and maybe see what tomorrow brings

#purrs #sobbed hysterically writing the message and that was like 4 hrs ago (yeah.) and im still like dizzy and puffy eyed from it. i am not having #a good time lol. and it’s only going to get more intense this whole week and i don’t know if i can handle it. ive been overstimulated /#sleep deprived for like 2 straight days bc yesterday i was doing everything in my power to avoid thinking abt it and today i was doing #everything in mt power TO think abt it including being subjected to things that were hard and ofc the walk being a flop kinda lol. but omg.#mutuals i know it’s so deeply cringe but i have been vagueposting abt my work life since before i even got the fucking job. i know i look #mentally ill about it and i definitely am but my colleagues past and present are my best friends and my number 1 reason to be alive #actually. so this is just. idk. this feels very……. especially when this is someone who was never supposed to leave this suddenly. who i thou #thought i had years and years left with. and it’s just over like that and we have to say goodbye and i know it’s not even that big of a move #but it’s actually killing me. like physically. that this is happening rn. i don’t know what the fuck im going to do. and we aren’t even f #gonna be able to grieve openly at all but we are grieving and she doesn’t even.. like idk. maybe it just hasn’t occurred to her that we are.#but we literally are and its soooooooo bad. it’s so bad. i feel like im having a bad dream every day. i already felt like nothing was real #anymore and this helped abt -50000% with that sensation. like wtf is going on rn. she’s LEAVING. ON FRIDAY. FOREVER. FUCK!#but uh yeah the point is i do want to talk to her and if it was anyone else i would. but when it comes to emotional stuff and being honest #w each other abt how one makes the other feel… we are incompatible im afraid. she doesn’t want to talk abt it and all i want to do is talk b #but im shy and weak so i cave and just do everything in my power to give her what she needs and then i feel shattered for the rest of the #day / week / whatever. it fucking sucks and im not like that w anyone else in my little irl world (except my p*rents ofc LMAO) but it’s like #onmgggggg. can we please just talk abt how it is so painful you are doing this and comfort each other in it somehow. LOL! like i am in so mu #much pain i can’t even speak and she didn’t even look at me when i flicked my eyes over to her during the silences. CRINGE! girl she doesn’t #care about you 😭😭😭😭 except she does. idk. it’s just sooooo. idk. my brain is not right it hasn’t been since i got the news. i think im dying #delete later #OMG ALSO it is now the wee hours of july 26 which means that 3 yrs ago right abt now i did something so very stupid that made me have my #first very bad breakdown ever and it led to me realizing i needed counseling again. so maybe in the spirit of this anniversary i will do #this stupid thing (of asking to talk and then saying what i want to say even though i wrote it out) and then have a very bad breakdown and t #then go to counseling 🥳✌️

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noxtivagus · 2 years

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HSJFKDKSK I MISS PLAYING FFXIV

#— says me when i literally just played it two days ago #fr tho listening to stormblood ost feels just especially nostalgic #it reminds me of all the things of ffxiv that i used to love (and still do!) so much #and all the things i miss :(#like doing ivalice raids was such a treasure #and beast tribes ! i used to be so consistent w them i have nearly all my beast tribes maxed out !#i've been slacking on arr (i did max out the ixali tho) + i haven't even started on endwalker #pls ameliance is the only custom delivery i haven't maxed out. i haven't even unlocked her T_T #before endwalker came out i was nearly maxed on a lot of classes and stuff despite only playing for half a year #in summer months i remember playing so consistently. i spent a lot of time actually having fun w my friends iirc #school started more stress combined #thinking on back then damn younger me really needed a hug T_T #wtf does that say about me now when i'm struggling w very similar things as back then 🤨#my notes from back then are just as sad as now hhhhh #'social life sucks' 'bottling my emotions' 'too little time' 'missing out' 'no motivation' 'i cant write anymore'#'so many possibilities paths and regrets' 'curiosity breaks me' 'yearning for the past'#huh reading the ff quotes i also have written here are so embarrassing #anyways more from me back in november 'my mood seings are on a whole other level these days huh' haha #'finding that inspo to write again but i still cant find the words' 'when i can write again ill know that my im fines arent lies anymore'#'i want to be a pillar for those around me but how can i be when i can't even support myself properly?'#'you want to be there for others but... god you dont even have yourself put together. but it makes you smile so much when you help others.'#'its alright to be selfish sometimes you know? to admit that you feel overwhelmed'#'caught up in the past. catching up in the present. thinking about the future'#i have a lot written down here ah reading the old things i write feels so comforting. i still feel the same way as i do from ages ago #'just lose yourself to music and to the silence... you're in that moment all alone and it feels so nice'#no wtf i'm reading all this rn and even when i'm in pain i write in a somewhat poetic way ouch it hurts me and leaves me vulnerable?#NOOO I WAS GNA DO SMTH AN HOUR AHO BJT I FORGOT oops #time to pull myself out of this daydream i can mull over my thoughts again later. now it's time to move and be fucking productive #my muscles ache actually can i just go back to sleep T_T #my arm actually rlly hurts rn idk why but my sleepy ass has the urge to do smth stupid instead of rest

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drchucktingle · 4 months

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my masks

hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.

im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great.

lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is.

unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.

the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.

ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield

anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum

when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned.

later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.

HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.

anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’.

when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.

one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’

so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?

my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)

from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept.

the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.

eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.

lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.

this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.

the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.

a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual.

fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist

#actually autistic #chuck tingle #tingleverse #buckaroo lifestyle

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joyful-soul-collector · 9 months

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I've seen a lot of people talking about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects women and how well it does that, so I wanna talk about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects men and how well it does that. Because it does that really well tbh.

At the beginning of the movie, it's made very clear that the Kens are constantly competing with each other, and trying to prove their worth, their Ken-ness, to both the Barbies, and more importantly, to the other Kens. In fact, multiple times through the movie it's shown that Ken seems to find the opinions of other Kens as a motivator for him to do things. He tries to show off to Barbie only after he sees the other Kens saying hi to her. He only starts dancing with Barbie when he sees the other Kens dancing with her. He only goes with her to the Real World after another Ken accuses him of cowardice and he decides to prove him wrong. Barbie says "Ken's not cool!" and Ken responds "He is to me."

This shows so damn well what the patriarchy is like for men. Because for the Kens it's not necessarily about Barbie, it's about what other Kens think of you. Being a man you are constantly, incessantly trying so damn hard to prove to the other men around you that you are a man, the manliest man to ever man, the best Ken to ever Ken. Literally doing backflips trying to prove yourself. And this is before patriarchy is even officially introduced to the story, there's no undertone of power yet, this is just what it's like to be a man around other men. It's toxic masculinity.

And when the patriarchy is introduced, that's increased tenfold. At first it looks like they've banded together to take power, but really they're still competing with each other, they're just doing it differently. Rather than competing to see who can get Barbie to fall in love with them, they're competing to see who can be the manliest, have the manliest stuff, wear the manliest clothes, have the manliest house and decorations.

And then they literally go to war. War is considered one of the few places where it's socially accepted for men to be more emotional, form deep and personal bonds with other men, and that's exactly what happens in the movie. They go to war, and there's an entire song where they bond and learn not to fight with each other anymore.

And that I think is the message from the Kens. For men, the way the patriarchy affects them is it forces constant competition and animosity, even around people that are supposed to be your friends. It makes it impossible to express your feelings unless they're with a romantic partner, and all of this turns you into a pent up ball of emotions with nowhere to go.

Which means that the message is: In order to fix the way the patriarchy oppresses men, men need to learn how to form close bonds with people, especially other men. Because like Barbie said to Ken, he needs to discover who he is without her. Men have learned to lean on women as a crutch, using them to figure out how to Be A Person and express emotions in a healthy way, but this can very quickly turn into a woman feeling like she needs too be his mother and teach him how to do these things. And Ken was 100% doing this, or at least he was trying to throughout the movie. Ken was so desperate for Barbie to be in love with him, not necessarily because he loved her, but because he needed a person he could just exist as himself around. Because he couldn't do that with the other Kens, the only person he could be himself around was Barbie.

And what's so great about the end of the movie is that the Kens did eventually figure out how to form close bonds with each other! They went to war, argued and fought, but by the end of the song they were holding hands, kissing each other on the cheek, telling each other they were enough. Even when Ken is up in the dreamhouse, crying and saying that he looks stupid, all the other Kens start shouting back up to him, saying that he looks cool. And Ken responds by giving one of his new friends his coat, which was clearly very important to him.

What the Kens did, that's what men in the real world need to do. They need to form close bonds with other men and stop competing with each other. Hopefully not by going to war the way the Kens did, Barbie isn't a blueprint for solving the patriarchy lol.

I'd be happy to do it through a song though.

#barbie #barbie 2023 #the barbie movie #ken barbie #barbie movie #greta gerwig #ken #barbie ken #meta #barbie meta #barbie movie spoilers

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bleedingoptimism · 5 months

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Steve likes to watch youtube videos of a guy who restores old consoles. It soothing to him, it relaxes him. He likes watching how he restores them, fixes them, makes them look brand new.

He also enjoys watching him work for… other reasons. Weirdly, he thinks the guy is kind of hot, even if he never shows his face. He looks fit, with the way his shirts stretch over his chest and are loose on his tiny waist and he’s always wearing cool belts, black leather with studs or chains. He likes the way he moves around, manic and a little clumsy but incredibly precise when necessary.

Steve especially likes watching his hands, thick strong fingers, bony wrists, noticeable veins, and short clean nails that sometimes have chipped black polish adorning them.

He sometimes thinks about those hands when he's alone, but, well… no one needs to know about that.

🎮🤲💖

Eddie has a fairly popular youtube channel… And a huge crush on his next-door neighbor. He simply cannot decide if the dude is cutter than hot or vice-versa.

'He sure is nice, though,' he thinks, when one day he gets a large package of replacement parts that he’s struggling to get inside and the guy walks up to him, asks if he needs any help, and takes the heaviest box with no effort at all.

He says his name is Steve and then stares at Eddie's hand for a really long time when Eddie extends it for him to shake after getting the boxes inside his studio.

He hears Steve’s little 'oh', under his breath and then sees him blush prettily before mumbling ‘He needs to go, now.' And stumbling out of Eddie’s place.

Eddie chuckles to himself as he watches him leave, definitely cute AND hot in equal parts.

🎮🤲💖

A few weeks later Steve's mom tells him she needs help getting rid of some of his nonno's old things and he finds a LOT of cool stuff that look just like the ones Eddie restores on his channel.

He and Eddie have been slowly getting friendlier over these last couple of weeks and he’s been dying to have an excuse to talk to him more, so he takes the items home and then goes to Eddie's and very nervously tries to offer them to him but doesn't know how to explain he knows he's a youtuber without looking like a weirdo because Eddie’s never shown his face.

He stumbles and blushes a lot, barely making any sense and Eddie mistakenly thinks he's trying to ask him out and says,

"I'd love to go on a date with you," Smiling and hiding his dimples behind a lock of hair he's been playing with since the moment Steve started stuttering.

Steve completely forgets what he was trying to say or do and says he'll pick him out at 6.

The date is amazing, it feels like they are meant to be. They get along so well, talking, laughing, and already making fun of each other as if they’re old friends. And they are definitely attracted to one another. If the way Eddie practically tackles Steve with his rush to get his mouth on him when they get back, it’s any indication.

Steve is very on board with this and he enthusiastically kisses him back. They kiss desperately as he fumbles with his door handle to get it open. When he succeeds, he walks them backward into his place not wanting to stop kissing Eddie, but stumbles and falls flat on his ass.

When Eddie turns on the light he sees Steve sprawled on top of a bunch of boxes full of old technology. A lot of emotions go through his face, ‘he’s so expressive’ Steve thinks a little enamored, having still not realized how much trouble he’s in.

But Eddie looks confused, then shocked and scared, and finally, angry,

"Steve, what the fuck?"

‘Oh, shit…’

“I can explain!” he says immediately, standing up and walking toward Eddie as he backs away,

“I didn’t want to ask you out-” Steve starts but interrupts himself when Eddie huffs, turns, and starts walking towards his own apartment, “Shit, fuck! No- That’s not what I meant, Eddie! Wait-”

He turns again and glares at Steve but then his eyes go wide, “Steve,”

“Please, let me explain-”

“Steve-”

“I did- do! Want to ask you out! I like yo-”

“Steve!” Eddie screams and Steve stops, shocked, and finally focuses. Eddie is staring at him and he’s so pale even his freckles have changed color. But no, wait. He’s not staring at him, he’s staring at his arm and Steve looks down to see… a lot of blood.

“Oh,” he says faintly. He must have cut himself on a sharp edge when he fell. Too worried about Eddie, he hadn’t even noticed the pain, but now that he’s seeing the cut, it fucking hurts.

“Oh,” he says again, realizing he’s feeling kind of dizzy, ‘that's way too much blood,’ he thinks.

“Jesus Christ!” Eddie huffs, takes off his flannel shirt and wrapping it around Steve's arm, he pulls Steve by his other hand toward his van.

“Oh no, your cute shirt,” he mumbles and hears Eddie snort before he slams the door of the passenger seat and goes to the driver’s one.

They go to the hospital in silence. It's tense. Steve tries to explain himself but Eddie shuts him up harshly, tells him to save his energy.

Even so, when they get there, Eddie still holds him gently by his good arm as he helps him inside. He tells the nurse what happened because Steve is having a hard time focusing right now and then tells him he’ll wait outside for him.

He gets stitches and a tetanus shot just in case because he doesn't remember when was the last time he got one and gets weird looks when he refuses painkillers, but no arguments. He’s given a little juice box and is told he can't get up until he finishes it.

A few seconds after the nurse leaves, the door opens and Eddie walks in. Steve looks up and smiles at him, but Eddie doesn’t smile back and Steve shrinks a little on himself.

Eddie sits on the chair facing the overbed table Steve is perched on and sighs, moving his hand in little circles motioning like, ‘Well go on. Explain yourself’

Steve looks around the room and thinks about where to start. He can't look Eddie in the eye, so he stares at the little juice box in his hands. It's got a cartoon orange in the front. The drawing it’s awful and kind of scary.

Taking a deep breath, he starts, “I've been watching your videos for a long time now. I have- I am- I-”

He fumbles for what to say, even if this date is already ruined…it's not exactly a good first date topic, is it? How fucked up he’s inside.

In a flash, images of his father’s violence, running from home with his mom, going to live with his nonno, taking care of him as he slowly lost his mind with age while his mom worked her ass off to feed them, getting cheated on, losing his “friends” because he didn't want to bully freshmen, working as a babysitter and getting almost beat up to death by his kid’s stepbrother… he shakes his head and shrugs,

“I've been through some…stuff” is what he says in the end, looking up at Eddie. He doesn't look mad anymore, his expressive eyes look concerned. Steve worries about what was it Eddie saw in his own expression, but it surprises him how easily he read him. He’s usually so good at hiding it.

He breathes in again and keeps going, “Your videos, they calm me down when I've, sometimes I get anxious and-” he clears his throat, again, not wanting to tell Eddie about the panic attacks, the nightmares.

But it seems he doesn't have to, Eddie looks at him like he gets it.

It makes Steve want to keep talking, “Watching you work, seeing you fix things, leave them like new, no sca- marks, no problems, just working again and beautifully clean. It makes me feel better.”

Eddie gives him a small smile and Steve returns it, “I really like your hands…” he blurts out and then closes his mouth quickly, blushing furiously.

Eddie’s eyes go wide and then he smirks and stands up slowly walking up to him and taking Steve’s hands on his own, they both stare at their joined hands for a while, the touch feather-like and soft.

“You recognized me because of my hands?” Eddie asks him a little incredulous.

Steve giggles, “I saw the logo for your channel on your studio that day I helped you with the boxes,” he clarifies sheepishly.

Eddie blushes and opens his mouth in a silent ‘oh,’

Steve draws small circles on Eddie's knuckles with his thumbs, “When I came over today, I was just trying to offer you those stuff at my place, they were my grandfather's” he explains, “I didn’t know how to say I knew who you were without looking like a weirdo and I got nervous and you thought I was going to ask you out and I wasn’t planning to but you are so beautiful I-

Eddie kisses his cheek and Steve shuts up and looks at him surprised,

“I’m sorry I freaked out,” Eddie says, “I thought- I don’t know what I thought- I was just upset you didn’t actually like me.”

And Steve immediately answers, “I like you” a little too excitedly.

Eddie smiles at him so warmly it makes his heart rate pick up, “Good. I like you too.”

He blushes and looks down at their hands again unsure, “Do you really? Even tho I’m…”

“What?” Eddie asks, squeezing his hands reassuringly.

“Broken?” Steve whispers.

Eddie hums and drops his hands to hold his face, “Not broken, baby” he says lovingly and kisses the crease between Steve’s brows, the top of his eyelid, his nose, and the corner of his mouth. Then hugs him and Steve buries his face on Eddie's neck, and breathes him in.

A minute goes by or an hour, Steve is not sure, and Eddie leans back enough to kiss him again softly and whispers, “Some things don't need to be fixed Steve, just held.”

𝒻𝒾𝓃

coffee? a hug? ☕🥐💕

#stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #i wrote something #modern au #trying out this new read more feature i hope it works!#im kidding #i do hope people click for the rest tho this goes places

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cozage · 7 months

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Omg I hope it’s not too late! Happy 2K yayayayay it’s been really fun watching you grow 😭. I remember when your blog was pretty new and I asked you for advice on how to make my own and you said try not to make a 2nd blog. I was wondering if I could have option 1 with a S/O who dated the monster trio but they broke up so now they are trying to win their heart back.

A/N: still my greatest regret is making this a secondary blog but it all worked out! Hope you are doing well :) thanks for being along for the ride. Characters: gn reader x Luffy, Zoro, Sanji Total word count: 1k

Get You Back

Luffy

Luffy tries his best to move on because he thinks that's what you want. Even though he hates going to bed alone and not sitting next to you at dinner, he tries to get over it.

At first he acts like nothing happened. He still runs to tell you stuff as soon as he finds out something, and he always wants to take you on adventures. Sure, you broke up, but you’re still nakama, right?

Nami explains to him that you need some time before things will go back to a sense of normal, and Luffy agrees to give you space. But god, he hates it. He’s so lonely.

One night, he can’t take it anymore. He knows it’s your night to keep watch, and he joins you in the crow’s nest. He knows he should let you be, but he has to try one more thing.

“Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?” he asked, looking out over the stars.

“I’ve already forgiven you, Luffy.” Your voice is sad, and he knows that you’ve been lonely too.

He turns to look at you, eyes wide and heart beating hard in his chest. “Do you think we’ll ever be together again?”

“I-” you stop, captivated by his wide, hopeful eyes. “I don’t know,” you answered truthfully.

“I miss you,” he admitted. “I miss you so much. I hate going to bed and I hate not being around you during the day. I hate when I find a cool bug and I can’t show it to you, or when we visit an island and you don’t join me on an adventure. I just want things to be normal again. I’ll do anything, please.”

“I want to be with you, Luffy,” you said. “I just-”

He lunged for you, his lips attacking you with desperation and eagerness. You can feel his words turning into actions; you can feel how much he has longed to kiss you and touch your skin again. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll work out this time.

Zoro

Zoro didn’t think you were serious when you said it was over. So, when he went into his room and couldn’t find any of your things, he was confused.

He sought you out, curious. “Hey, where’s your stuff?”

But you just rolled your eyes. “Get it through your brain Zoro. Unlike you, I say what I mean. We’re over.”

Oh. That last fight had been a breakup fight. Now he understood.

But he saw the pain in your eyes. He knew you didn’t want this outcome. So he’d just have to prove that he was worthy of you

He doesn’t beg for you back, but he keeps his word with everything he does.

When you ask him to do something, he does it. Hell, even if the cook asks him to do something, he does it without complaint (especially if you’re in the room). He always keeps his word. Always.

Part of him acts like nothing happened. He still shares booze with you, naps near you, laughs with you. But he won’t ask for you back. Even if its the only thing he wants.

After about a month, he’s had enough. It’s just the two of you on the ship, watching the Sunny as the others run off to the island.

“When are we going to go back to normal?” he demands, storming up to you. “Don’t you think we’ve been apart for too long?”

“I told you, Zoro-”

“Don’t say it.” His voice was gruff as he pushed you up against the wall and pinned you there with his own body. “Please, don’t say it.”

“We’re bad for each other,” you whispered, trying to ignore the mess of emotions you were feeling at the moment.

“We’re not,” he argued. “I swear we’re not. Let me prove it.” His lips hover over your mouth, waiting for permission. “Please, let me prove it.”

“One more cha-” His lips crash into yours, and you find yourself melting into the touch you had missed so much over the past few weeks.

Sanji

This man is the best at apologies. He knows no shame and smothers you in love.

Every morning, you get an immaculate breakfast. Your snacks and desserts are the ones he knows you adore. You are pampered beyond your wildest imagination (which is impressive after dating Sanji for so long. You thought you had seen it all.)

Fresh flowers at your bedside every morning (where is he getting all of these flowers??). Rose petals lead to your bedroom at night. You’d think you were on a honeymoon.

It’s almost annoying. It’s almost too much. But Sanji knows when he’s starting to become annoying, and he’ll let up slightly, just long enough for you to calm down. And then he’ll start back up again.

The biggest thing for you though, is the next time you go onto an island.

His eyes stay on you. They hardly even linger as he walks with you, Nami, and Usopp through the shopping district.

If any pretty ladies walk by, he doesn’t even bother to look. He’s so captivated by you that he doesn’t even notice anyone else.

While your back is turned or while you’re shopping, he doesn’t even gawk at any islanders (Nami and Usopp watch him for ANY hint of flirtation. There is NONE.)

He only vanishes for a brief moment in a jewelry store, coming back with a little bag of his own. “Cufflinks,” he explains. “My other ones broke.”

When you all get back to the ship, he pulls you aside and gives you a bracelet full of aquamarine stones that reminds you of his eyes.

“Please, be mine again,” he begs, holding the box out. “It hurt to breathe without you. I need you. Please.”

“Sanji,” you breathe out. “It’s beautiful.”

“Just like you,” he whispers. “Y/N, I’m so-”

You jump into his arms, pushing your lips against his. You missed that sweet taste of vanilla that was always on his tongue, and you had a feeling you wouldn’t ever have to go without it again.

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mirohlayo · 5 months

Text

MOONSTRUCK | LN4

moonstruck (adjective)

unable to think or act normally, especially because of being in love.

( you just made lando loose all his senses )

warning : none, fluff

word count : 886

note : looks like an etablished relationship but no, just lando crushing on you lol. wrote something short for this one bc i think it suits much better. also kind of related with wonderwall post.

!! english not my first language !!

a great race.

it was such a perfect day. time seemed to stop for a while, like people had to enjoy every single minutes of this unreal moment. ends of races were often filled with happiness and a sense of pride always won over fans and racing teams. it was the amazing sport of formula one.

the drivers always celebrated their podium. with friends, race team, engineers, family and any others close people. it was an overload of joy mixed with lot of positive emotions, and these were such precious moments that must be cherished at all costs. but not everyone has this chance. this chance to say you did a great job, to say you drove well. when you feel like you're just not good enough. your being hurts you so much as if you were stabbed everywhere. no one wants to feel like that. and luckily, that wasn't the case for lando.

he did an amazing race. a fantastic job. as soon as he jumped out of his car, his race team congratulated him and praised him for his podium. p2, that's just incredible for the mclaren team. and of course, oscar was proud of his teammate. just like you. you were so proud of lando. you never stopped believing in him, you were always the one to cheer him up. that's why today he hugged you a bit longer than usual, his arms wrapped you tightly against his warm body. in that moment, everything seemed perfectly perfect. the rays of the sun dazzled only you two, in each other's arms, like a reunion of two souls who had been separated for far too long. it felt just like him and you against the whole world.

and with heavy hearts, the pilots had to separate from their favorite person to return to the one final task : post race interview. so as did lando. he gave you a soft smile filled with an amount load of love and let you out of his embrace. he took place in front of the interviewer, and kept his concentration for the race questions. the spot was that the mclaren team was still in front of him a few meters further, so he could still see the people he loved celebrate the efforts of both mclaren drivers. he saw lots of wide smiles, sparkles in all eyes. everyone was still cheering and lando's heart felt full of happiness and love.

his mouth was speaking words, answering bunch of questions about how was the race and stuff like that. a noisy background, filled with laughters and cries accompanied deep lando's voice as he was still talking to the interviewer. his eyes scanned everywhere, sort of a habit he have every times it was post race interview time. he looked from the mclaren engineers to his tired but proud teammate, from the fans of the paddock club to the others drivers. and then he saw you. your person.

his gaze immediately softened, as if he had found reassurance in you. his eyes laid on you so effortlessly because every time a weird but pleasant sensation seized him, as if he was hypnotized by a stunning thing. you were shyly laughing with his manager, charlotte. a crystal clear sound escaped from your mouth which turned into a beautiful smile. the way your eyes slowly squinted, shiny sparkles in them, your cheeks' lines came out and embellished even more your face. your perfect side profile that lando's couldn't help to look at. the sun rays colored your skin in an orange-pink shadow. now it seemed like the world stopped. he captured an unreal moment of you. wow. you just looked like a goddess. a pure gem he wanted to chase after and keep it for himself. and just with this glimpse of you, he started to loose all his senses.

now he was stuttering. he acted clumsy, saying dumb and incoherent things. he stammered on his words, let little "huhh" "hmm" out of his mouth while he was thinking about what he have to say. but he couldn't think because now all his attention was on you. nothing came into his mind but only this picture of you. he even started blushing and a shy smile took place on his lips. god why he was so fucking lost every times it comes to you ? it's just unfair how much effect you did to him. but soon the interviewer finally saw his awkward position and finished quickly the interview.

then he ran to join his team, especially you. you turned to face him, and without any hesitation you hugged him tightly. because it is never enough hugs. oh how his heart craved for your touch. your body pressed against him, your breath on his neck. he was for sure so in love with you. and whenever you would ask him why he acted so clumsy around you, he always had the same answer. "you just stress me that's all" he would shrugged. but actually, the most correct answer would be "i just don't know anymore how to act normal because of you, your person and your presence. because after all i think i'm just a bit too much in love with you".

yeah, it was the perfect answer. and that without any doubts.

#lando norris imagine #f1 imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x you #ln4 imagine #lando norris fluff #lando norris #ln4 fluff #ln4 fic #ln4 x reader #ln4 #ln4 x you #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fluff

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princessbrunette · 1 month

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how do you think would rafe react when crybaby!reader gets upset when he unintentionally hurts her feelings and she’s serious upset and not adorable upset? yk what i mean? like suddenly he’s realizing she’s not being dramatic but really hurt🎀

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i feel as though season one rafe would do this the most often. season 2 rafe is very intentional with his words because he’s learnt to be more careful not to get himself in trouble, esp towards the end of season 2 when he’s spending a lot of time with limbrey and her brother and you can see him acting a lot more grownup. season 3 rafe is actually fairly gentle, especially around women — he’s figured out how to conduct himself and is very set on changing his ways which is why he’s very respectful towards sofia and also very mindful of kiaras space when they were trapped at singhs together — if she flinched when he’d come too close he’d immediately stop approaching or he’d slow his movements and put his hands up to show it was okay. season one rafe however, doesn’t give a fuck how anyone feels really.

most importantly, he doesn’t know how to have a girlfriend yet. i was speaking about this last night in dms with indy — and it seems very clear that he doesn’t get how to handle you yet. he doesn’t seem like he’d understand that he needs to take you on dates still once you’re in a relationship or ask you to be his valentine etc, not seeing the point of it. so i can definitely see him messing up and hurting your feelings really bad.

he’s very much a boy, and likes to do boy shit with his friends. stand around and drink beer and talk and watch the game. he doesn’t mind you being there, but if he’s wrapped up in conversation with his friends he kinda doesn’t care so much if you’re there because he’s happy doing his thing. say you’re at the country club and this is happening, your boyfriend laughing and being obnoxious with his pals. you’d approach and he’d give you a little side hug, pulling you to his side but he’d continue talking to his friends and not so much you.

“what are you guys doing?” you ask quietly to just him and he glances your way.

“uh, just hanging out? you didn’t find any of your little friends to talk to?” his hand drops to your lower back and you blink up at him obviously.

“yeah they’re here just… wanted to be with you?” you furrow your eyebrows and he briefly laughs at something kelce said, only offering you half of his attention before looking at you again.

“well we’re just doing guy stuff, a’ight? go hang with them. don’t need to hover around me, i’ll just come get you when we’re leavin’.” its an offhand comment, but your face immediately falls. ‘hovering around him’? when the two of you were alone he often demanded all of your attention, but now with his friends here it was like he didn’t care at all. to add salt to the burn, he gives your ass a little pat and let’s go of you. “go on.” he hurries you along.

you feel that hot feeling in your chest and you can feel yourself getting upset. “i think im going to go home.” you’re polite as you can be but your voice shakes and it catches his attention, following you when you take a few steps, still half smiling.

“wh— are you serious? why?”

you avoid his eye like you don’t even know him, lifting a shoulder and brushing him off. “just— just want to.” he watches you wipe your tears away as you leave the club, and he sighs in confusion, taking a sip of his beer.

topper was actually the one to teach him about how to handle an emotional girlfriend. he sighed out a “i don’t understand this girl, man.” when you were out of sight and after some convincing— rafe learned the valuable lesson of grovelling. he shows up at your door an hour later, pink in the face from being in the sun and a little warm and sweaty.

“uh, can i come in?”

he lets you cry into his chest as he squints at the wall in confusion trying to understand you. he did love you, believe it or not — he just didn’t have a way with words.

“look okay, you know when i say shit i don’t mean it, alright? i’m a guy it’s — it’s just what we do. i didn’t mean for you to take it that way.” he cups your face, a strand of his pushed back hair fallen onto his forehead.

“you hurt my feelings.” you mewl, and his heart does infact melt a little, blinking rapidly as he sighs in frustration with himself.

“whats gonna make this better? huh? you— you wanna punch me or something?” he asks desperately which actually gets a giggle from you. “well what then?”

“just want you to like me.” you sigh sadly and he stares at you dumbly.

“i do. so now what?”

“prove it.” you huff and he shakes his head a little, dumbfounded.

“prove i— okay.” he grabs your face, pulling you in for a kiss.

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#tracymbcm #rafe cameron prompt

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