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fu-yao · 3 years

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tagged by @leonzhng thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋

i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena @yibobibo @lan-xichens @purplexedhuman @aheartfullofjolllly @lanzhansmiles @nyx4 i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!

putting this under a read more for reasons

MEN 2010 – 2016

literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)

tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes

harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years

louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart

ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014

harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly

choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot

brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)

jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos

misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)

henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)

MEN 2016 – 2021

min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??

kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard

park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)

kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day

jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys

choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu

xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx

wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok

lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me

bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho

WOMEN

this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time

ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts

perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her

andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty

lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked

alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay

park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)

kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members

shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D

xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage

lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao

peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on

legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14

zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.

will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute

jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off

castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did

kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF

howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl

lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot

mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)

#thanks for the tag hanyi my hands hurt now </3 #tag game

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tracle0 · 4 years

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happy sts!! (?) or maybe just a happy saturday? nonetheless, question time! since I got to read recently about the inspirations behind the wip4 main characters' names, I was wondering what the motivations were behind the names of the main characters of your other works! maybe both from your perspective as a writer and from an in-story perspective? and how do they feel about their names?

Happy?? STS?!?! Saturday is good and happy and it is STS, whoop! I like this question but it’s gonna be a very underwhelming answer and I apologize for that.

Sonder was. Very dull, not gonna lie, it’d just be looking for mostly generic names that seemed to fit the brand haha. The most notable backstory names are probably Andy and Atlas.

Andy came from an inside joke with a friend that no villains can be named Andy. I wanted to prove her wrong, so Andy was named Andy and now I do not trust Any Andy’s. Full name Andrew Peep, which he does not like and prefers Andy. Probably a family name, which is sad because he does not see his family.

Atlas came from me being like ‘wait shit I haven’t named this character yet’ and asking a friend for a name. She spat out Atlas Barnabus like it wasn’t the best name in the world, and I was in awe. Definitely named after the Greek Titan, was not aware of that at all, very much likes their name.

Collateral - hhhh okay listen. Listen Collateral and names give way to one of my dumbest Collateral stories, you’re gonna have to hear this out.

So when I was first writing Collateral, I’d already found both Cain and Theo their names that fit - Theo cause it sounded nice, Cain named after the Caine in the Gone series. But they didn’t have last names, which was an issue, so I was looking for a last name for them. I knew I wanted Cain to have a last name starting with either C or K, cause alliteration, and pulled Kavon out of thin air. I liked it, so it stayed.

A few weeks later, in film studies, we were learning about Kim Novak, and I liked the name Novak, so stole it and gave it to Theo.

I did not notice their names were the same forward and backwards for a year and a half, until a friend pointed it out to me. This was not deliberate at all. It Just Happened and I plead ignorance to that tomfuckery.

Anyway, they both are alright about their names. Theo prefers Theo to Theodore cause no-one got any time for all those syllables. Cain once found out about Biblical Cain and spent about three hours going down that rabbit hole before going ‘alright whatever’ and moving on.

Speaking of moving on - DIAS. I can talk a bit more about that cause that was recent.

Ant comes from the word ‘antagonist’ actually - I wanted to write about someone who saw themselves as The Bad Guy, which Ant definitely does a lot of the time. It’s a nickname, and I have no idea what their real name is, nor where the nickname comes from, but they like Ant. Their last name - Carnell - is a family name. Not my surname, but someone in my family somewhere had that, and I liked it so yoinked it and gave it to Ant.

Leon! Leon went through a lot of changes in his name - originally he was Tag, which also comes from ‘antagonist’ but I hated that, so changed it to Tad, which I also hated. So he was without a name and it was getting closer and closer to Nano and the time I’d write his story and I was like ????? what do.

What I did was drew him a bit. A friend in film class (man, film class really helped to name my characters huh) saw the doodle and was like ‘ooo who’s that’. I told her it was a character in my book, and no, he doesn’t have a name, you should give him one, and she spat out Leon. And hey it actually really works, he can keep that, except wait, he’s Jewish, needs a Hebrew name and I’d like to give him a specifically Jewish surname. Some looking on Jewish name websites gave me Tzalka, and some more looking gave me Cohen, cool, done.

In-universe, Leon’s name came from his grandfather - it was DIAS Leon’s middle name, and when he left home, he wanted to leave That Part Of His Life behind as well, so swapped from Tzalka to Leon, which he definitely prefers.

Uhhh other characters - Vincent came from a fandom (which I’m about 90% sure is FNAF ngl) and I went ‘okay well I like the name so shall associate it elsewhere’ and gave it to Vinnie. Last name had the same deal - Scullary came from...

Phew, okay, side tangent. One of my first characters I made was named Skullary, which came from the play ‘The Road’ which I watched when I was younger. The person playing that character had a really bad cold, so had to use a microphone to make her voice heard, and she fucking killed it, and the voice was so interesting I wanted a character who used it, so stole the name, except I misspelt it as Skullary instead of Scullary oops. Anyway, I wanted to re-use that name, so gave it to Vincent. He likes his name well enough but Definitely Does Not Like Going By Vinnie, so definitely don’t call him that.

Simon came from the game Simon Says, because it is The Most Silvertongue Game and it made me laugh that his name is such an obvious pun.

Bonus: wip4 obviously mostly came from filmmakers, because the obsession of that book is filmmaking, as you know. Buster Keaton and... Just Mika the musician, he’s the odd one out. Lynne Ramsay and George Lucas gave a lot of characters a portion of their names.

I am, however, gonna go on a tiny tangent about Keaton’s last name because it delights me, and then also probably Percival’s name because that amuses me.

So! Keaton is Spanish - his family comes from Spain and he speaks Spanish as well as English. I’m sure his deadname is probably something very Spanish, but it’s a deadname so we don’t talk about it. I wanted to find a Spanish surname for him, cause like... obviously it doesn’t have to be Spanish, but I wanted it to be, so I was scrolling through Spanish surnames for a while.

Palomo is a legit Spanish surname in use, and it means pigeon. Keaton likes pigeons. So I was delighted and I always forget it but that’s his last name.

Percival! Percival’s name is actually a fill-in. In a Discord chat I’m in with my friends, I sometimes join the voice chats but cannot talk cause Anti Microphone. So I type instead, and sometimes get bored and just spam words. And the name Percival was very funny to me so I spammed that.

So, when I needed to name the Bad Guy of wip4, I gave him the name Percival as a joke, and it. Seemed to work. I no longer spam Percival in the chat.

Anyway there you go, the entire history of where names in my WIPs come from. Spoilers; not the most interesting, but it is long and I hope you found some bits funny or enjoyable.

#sts #asks #albatris #ngl most names are inside jokes to myself in some for or another #and just happened to also work with characters I wanted to write #which came first the personality or the name #abelia came because percival is apparently a french name so if he's french and his family have such a big emphasis on being french #his sibling would also have a french name and abelia was one of my favourites that I found #and she prefers abby #also thank god lucas is a french surname cause I was Not gonna give them a film related name but then george lucas existed #I do not like george lucas so it works well #also go to sleep blz

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pjmochii · 5 years

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drabble list :)

Message, or leave an ask, saying which member you want, what scenario, and which drabble number, and i’ll write it!

MEMBER:

• Kim Namjoon

• Kim Seokjin

• Min Yoongi

• Jung Hoseok

• Park Jimin

• Kim Taehyung

• Jeon Jeongguk

SCENE:

• fluff

• angst

• smut

• idol!au

• nonidol!au

• streetracer!au

• mafia!au

• college!au

• badboy!au

• nerd!au

(you get my drift :))

PROMPTS:

1. “i want you. Only you.”

2. “because I love you!”

3. “you make me so happy.”

4. “you’re seriously a man-child.”

5. “it’s cute when you blush.”

6. “oh god he’s serious.”

7. “this is awkward...”

8. "when were you going to tell me?"

9. "you've got a cute laugh!"

10. "move in with me?"

11. "are you jealous?"

12. "can you do me a favour?"

13. "what do you mean, the door is locked!?"

14. "you owe me ten bucks."

15. "sorry, was i interrupting something?"

16. "wanna bet?"

17. "i'm not scared!"

18. "oh fuck, he saw me."

19. "come on, it wasn't that bad."

20. "i'm not crying. i have allergies."

21. "well, i'm happy you think of me when you're drunk."

22. "i thought you hated me!"

23. "you can't fall in love with me."

24. "you're such an asshole."

25. "wow, you're pretty."

26. "why?"

27. "hey, are you okay? i heard you screaming."

28. "i can see you, you know?"

29. "that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard. of course i'm in."

30. "if you die, i'm going to kill you."

31. "i had a nightmare about you and i wanted to make sure you were okay."

32. "at least i know what i want."

33. "don't say a word."

34. "is that my sweater?"

35. "you're bleeding all over my furniture."

36. "you look... wow."

37. "you're mine."

38. "i want to see you."

39. "shit. that's hot."

40. "someone will see us!"

41. "you're good at this."

42. "stay with me?"

43. "come here."

44. "i don't care!"

45. "we should stop."

46. "i think i just fell in love."

47. "are you asking me on a date?"

48. "you're so whipped."

49. "i fall in love with you more and more everyday."

50. “you’re so whipped.”

51. “i fall in love with you more and more every day.”

52. “let’s run away and get married.”

53. “can i kiss you?”

54. “hypothetically, if i asked you out, would you say yes?”

55. “you’re perfect.”

56. “you mean the world to me.”

57. “care to dance?”

58. “forever?”

59. “i don’t like when you say things like that, to me you're perfect.”

60. “you’re soft and warm and i don't want you to move.”

61. “i love kissing you.”

62. “i’m just glad you're safe, i wouldn't know what to do if i lost you.”

63. “god, you're so beautiful.”

64. “he’s not my boyfriend!”

65. “i always want to kiss you.”

66. “i think it’s adorable how easily you blush.”

67. “don’t tell me not to worry, because i’m going to do that anyway.”

68. “if you're so cold, why didn't you say something? come here.”

69. “you look really cute in that.”

70. “i missed you so much.”

71. “like what you see?”

72. “you’re so perfect, and i’m so fucking lucky.”

73. “try to stay quiet, understand?”

74. “we’re in public, you know.”

75. “don’t smile at me like that.”

76. “i heard shower sex is fun, and right now, you’re making me want to find out.”

77. “i really don't care, you still look hot and i’m trying not to kiss you senseless right now.”

78. “can i at least take my shoes off before you pounce on me?”

79. “oh my god, do that again.”

80. “you can be wearing a trashbag, and i’d still want you.”

81. “i’m going to be late because you can't keep it in your pants.”

82. “do i love you? yes, do i like you? that’s still up for debate.”

83. “you didn't have to do this, you know.”

84. “need some help?”

85. “if you're so bored, i have other ideas on how to pass the time…”

86. “well geez, if you don't like what i’m wearing, i can go and change.”

87. “if you think i don't feel anything for you, then you're more stupid than i thought.”

88. “what? no, i never said that…”

89. “they’re wrong about you.”

90. “if i kissed you right now, what would you do?”

91. “you’re not nearly as smart as you think you are.”

92. “it’s too hot.”

93. “you wanna bet?”

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nubnubblr · 5 years

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If You Do .7

THEA

"We'll take my car," I stated, my mother mode had kicked in.

I was good like that in a crisis, there would be time to freak out later, for not I just shut off everything else and just focused on what needed to be done, which was something we definitely needed in situations right now. Charlie had turned into a mess, not crying on the floor but she couldn't focus and she was shaking like crazy. Jae was quiet not really sure what he was supposed to do considering 90% of his personality was making jokes so things like this were a little too real for him, and BM was no good in a crisis, not when it involved someone he cared about. He could only think of the person, not what needed to be done or how to help,he was in a consistent state of borderline meltdown.

"What do we need?" BM frowned looking around the room.

"We don't know what's going on, so just go get in the car, I'll lock everything," I ushered everyone out.

Jae started slowly moving towards the door, BM not far behind him but Charlie just sat there, completely oblivious to what was happening, she was stuck in her own head not really hearing what was going on.

"Charlie," I called, she kind of looked over but she wasn't really listening.

"Jae, BM," they didn't say anything but they came back.

"Take her to the car," I nodded towards Charlie who was staring at the wall.

The helped her to her feet and directed her outside, I made sure all the windows were closed and the animals had water and fed them early, I wasn't sure how long we were going to be at the hospital.

They wouldn't tell her anything else over the phone, just that he was in ICU which left everyone imagining the worst. The first thought was car accident, but we won't know for sure until we get to the hospital.

I grabbed my keys, wallet and left, locking the door behind me. All three of them were sitting in silence, I didn't bother saying anything, I just started the car and drove. The hospital wasn't too far away, it was about 20 minute drive which didn't normally seem that long, but it a completely silent care it felt like hours.

When we finally arrived at the hospital, Charlie was still basically shut off, she walked between the boys who watched her like she would fall apart at any moment, which wasn't that far fetched.

We got to the front desk where a lady with a smile greeted us.

"Good afternoon, how can I help?"

"Yeah, hi, we're looking for Sam Kim, he was brought in not long ago, we were told he was in ICU,"

"Are you family?"

"He's out brother," I nodded.

"Okay, let me look him up for you,"

"I can't find his name, are you sure it was here he was brought?"

"The lady on the phone said Fiona Stanley and ICU," I stated trying to squash the ball of panic rising from mt stomach into my throat.

"Okay, just take a seat and I'll call the ICU to see if they have him, sometimes they don't have time to put them in the system," she stated.

I bit back my anger, I realised now was not the time or place to blow up at someone but the fact we didn't know what happened to him or why he was here in the first place was driving me insane.

We were there for almost twenty minutes before someone could tell us where he was. the lady at the counter finally stopped with her string of phone calls, and called me over.

"I'm so sorry, he isn't actually in ICU anymore, they're so busy up there today they didn't have time to update the files on system," she stated. My heart dropped and tears started to build, my nose started to sting.

"What do you mean he isn't in ICU anymore?"

MARK

"So last night was fun," Jackson stretched, we'd only woken up ten minutes ago, well I had, he only came out of his room about a minute ago.

"It was fine," I shrugged.

We ended up drinking with Drew for an hour or so, Jackson got a little towards the drunk side but not to the point he was a handful, I had a few drinks but was for the most part fine.

"That girl was crazy," he stated.

"Which one,"

"That BM guy's friend, I wonder if they got home okay?" he questioned thoughtfully.

"Who knows, she seemed like a psycho, girls like that shouldn't drink," I shrugged.

"So what's the plan for today?" I asked sipping at my coffee.

"I was going to take a drive out to see if another store had my phone model in stock because I won't have time to do it tomorrow before they shut and I need to make some calls today for work, but then I realised it was Sunday and they would be closed, so I'll just find the numbers in my contacts on iCloud and use the landline," he shrugged.

"What calls? It's a Sunday,"

"Roster and payslips," he shrugged, picking up the phone from the kitchen bench.

"And our landline is dead," he sighed sitting it in it's cradle to charge.

"Just use my phone," I shrugged throwing it too him.

"What is wrong with you?" he panicked as he reached to catch it.

"What if I had of dropped it?" he frowned at me.

"I would have just bought a new one tomorrow,"

"It must be nice to have to time to go to the phone store and just buy a new phone while you're supposed to be working. I'm going to have to use my lunch break," he huffed.

"Again, working is your choice. But I'll pick your phone up tomorrow so don't worry about it," I stated.

"Seriously?" he smirked slightly.

"Yeah, whatever. Just write the exact model you want and I'll pick it up from you tomorrow," I nodded.

"You're the best," he smiled.

"It's no issue," I shrugged.

A nurse came to direct up through the hospital. The lady at the front desk had explained that he wasn't on the system in ICU because he was in the middle of being move out of there and into a private room, apparently he had private health insurance.

He was stable and no longer needed to be in ICU, which was good but Thea almost climbed over the desk and killed the lady for wording it like he had died.

Charlie was still in her own head, Jae and I walked either side of her as a precaution as the nurse explained the situation to Thea, she'd tried to talk to Charlie but she wasn't listening. She most likely wouldn't actually be able to function until she sees for her own eyes that he is okay. We got to his ward, Bianca was sitting in the waiting room when the nurse directed us down to Sam's room. She frowned as she seen us and got up.

"What are you doing here?" she frowned at Charlie who didn't even seem to register she was being spoken to.

"Charlie is his emergency contact, they called us," Thea stated.

"You can't go in his room," she crossed her arms over her chest defensively.

"Yes we can," she stated.

"I'm not aloud in his room," she defended.

"You're not his family," Thea retorted.

"I'm his girlfriend," she snapped.

"You're his play thing, now go away," Thea was getting angry, honestly her handle on her emotions was probably starting to wear away, she could only shut it off for so long.

"He loves me," she frowned.

"Lead the way," Thea ignored Bianca, turning back to the nurse.

"Unless Sam say's otherwise, you get to stay out here," she threw over her shoulder at Bianca.

"You can't do that,"

"I can actually," she nodded and we continued following the nurse down the hallway towards the room they had put Sam in, while Bianca just stood there frozen.

"I thought she would follow," Thea muttered more to herself than anyone else.

"She probably feels guilty," the nurse commented.

"She should, she gave him food poisoning," Thea shook her head.

"She is also the reason he had to have his stomach pumped, she gave us the wrong information and with the information she gave and his vomiting, we thought he had alcohol poisoning,"

"So he didn't need the pump?" I frowned.

"No," she shook her head.

"She is seriously the dumbest person I have ever met," Thea rolled her eyes.

"This is his room, I'll let the doctor know you're here and he will be by shortly to explain everything better to you," she smiled gesturing to the door on the left.

CHARLIE

We piled into the room, Sam was sitting up right in the hospital bed looking exhausted but there weren't any tubes sticking out of him, just the IV so he looked fine. The numbness faded and was replaced with concern, relief, and anger.

"Hey bro, you okay?" BM asked.

"You look like shit," Jae chimed in.

"Looks better than you do," Thea stated.

"You idiot," I shook my head. Sam gave a smile and laughed a little, he reached for his stomach and winced. The other three frowned at me.

"Don't laugh," I frowned sitting on the end of his hospital bed, kicking my shoes off I crossed my legs and kind of just glared at him while he talked with the others until the doctor came in.

SAM

The doctor walked him holding a clip board with what I assumed as my information on it. He frowned down at it and hummed over it before looking up.

"Mr Kim, how are you feeling?" he asked. Charlie's face had relaxed slightly but she still glared at me.

"Exhausted, like someone vacuumed my stomach and not in a good way," I shrugged.

"Is there a good way to vacuum someone's stomach?" Thea frowned. BM hushed her which resulted in her glaring and pouting at him.

"I apologise for that, we were lead to believe you had alcohol poisoning, so your stomach was pumped as protocol. We were misinformed, you were actually suffering from salmonella poisoning and a lactose attack. The reaching and vomiting from that caused a tear in your stomach which is where the blood was coming from," he explained.

Thea frowned at me, Charlie glared, and both boys rolled their eyes.

"But he's okay right?" BM asked.

"He's alright, we're just going to keep him in for a couple days for observation and to make sure the tear gets better and not worse,"

"Thank you doctor," Thea gave a small smiled, the doctor nodded and left the room.

"Just so you know if you weren't hospitalised I would hit you," Thea stated.

"Thea, be nice," BM stated.

"Why? He was stupid enough to eat something he knows his stomach can handle on top of eating something someone who has zero experience in cooking made him, that's self inflicted,"

"Thanks for the sympathy Thea," I nodded.

"She's just being mean so she doesn't cry," BM stated.

"I can hit you," she warned.

"With your little feather punches?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Both of you knock it off," Charlie rolled her eyes as there was a knock at the door.

"Sorry, there is a Beunka out here who says she's your girlfriend and is wanting to see you," the nurse poped her head in.

"No," both girls stated as I nodded.

"Ignore them, they're just mad. She can come in," I nodded.

"Why would you do that?" Thea frowned. Charlie just rolled her eyes.

Bianca rushed into the room to my side, she glared at the girls, mainly Charlie for sitting at the foot of my bed, but there was no way she was going to move especially if it was an issue for Bianca.

"Oh my god, baby are you okay?" she looked my over grabbing hold of me hand.

"I'm fine," I sighed.

"No thanks to you," Thea snapped.

Charlie looked like she wanted to kill Bianca, but she stayed quiet, probably biting her tongue. Thea wasn't exactly capable of doing that. I think if Charlie opened her mouth things would get ugly.

"Me? You let him drink and get alcohol poisoning," Bianca defended herself.

"He didn't have food poisoning," Charlie seethed through clenched teeth.

"How do you explain him throwing up blood and needing his stomach pumped," she asked full of attitude.

"First of all, he didn't need his stomach pumped, secondly, he didn't drink enough to get alcohol poisoning, thirdly, he is a grown ass man, no one lets him drink he's an adult capable of making his own dumb decisions, and finally you fed him dairy when he was lactose intolerant and you used either bad or under cooked chicken or eggs and gave him food poisoning. So don't act all high and mighty when you almost killed him,"

"He's not lactose intolerant, and even if he was I didn't put lactose in it, so it wasn't my cooking,"

The way Bianca said it insinuated that it was Thea's cooking that had almost killed Sam. Thea was quiet for a moment, her teeth clenched, her fist in balls, her eyes fixed on Bianca. Out of the many moods Thea has, this one was both the scariest and hardest to predict, the calm before the storm, or at least the silence. Silent Thea only meant a handful of things, she was asleep, she was in pain, she didn't have a response to the insult because it had actually hurt her, or she was trying to calm herself so she didn't physically assault you, the restraint never lasted long. It didn't take a genius to figure out which one fit the situation.

"Thea knows how to cook, and he has only eaten food you've cooked in the last 24 hours," Charlie defended.

"Sam can you please tell them it wasn't my cooking? And clearly Thea messed up somewhere," she rolled her eyes turning to Sam.

Thea took a deep breath. Usually a sign that the restraint she had was about to slip.

"How else would she know it was egg or chicken. She knows it was her and she's trying to blame me," she continued.

"Why don't we go and get coffee, who wants coffee?" I stood up dragging her with me.

"I'm good," Charlie and Jae stated at the same time.

"God no," Sam shook his head.

"We'll be back," I stated lifting Thea off the ground as she went to lunge herself at Bianca.

CHARLIE

"It wasn't my cooking," Bianca stated again.

"It sort of was," Sam grimaced.

"But I didn't use lactose. Where do you even find that vegetable?" she frowned.

"Oh my god," Jae mumbled.

"Lactose is in milk genius," I rolled my eyes.

"Why are you sitting on his bed?" she turned to me and frowned.

"Because I am,"

"You have a habit of sitting or sleeping in his bed," she stated.

"What is your point?"

"He's my boyfriend, not yours,"

"That's fantastic, do you always try to kill your boyfriends?" I asked emotionless.

"I didn't try to kill him,"

"Okay," I nodded not really want to make Sam anymore uncomfortable that he already was.

"Get off his bed," she frowned.

"No,"

"Yes,"

"Beunka, she's not doing anything wrong," Sam sighed.

"She is trying to take my place,"

"She's just sitting there," he sighed again.

"Yeah it's not like they're sleeping together," Jae stated. Both Sam and I glared at him then Sam avoided looking at me.

"You realised he probably doesn't want to deal with an argument, What with getting sick and almost dying," I stated, she just rolled her eyes and ignored me.

SAM

Thea and BM had come back not long ago, Thea looked like she'd been crying so I was getting whatever emotional block she had put up to get everyone here had dissipated. But I was thankful for them being back, I felt a little less trapped.

Bianca had sat coddling me while simultaneously glaring at Charlie, and Charlie had refused to move and ignored anything Bianca said to her. Which irritates her and Jae wasn't helping with his commentary that just annoyed her more, sometimes I swear Bianca pretended to be dumb, but I think it's more the case she is only some what smart when it comes to certain things, like jealousy because there is no way someone can fake being that dumb for so long.

"Yo, what's the time?" Jae asked as he was pulling his phone from his pocket.

"Oh I've got work," he continued.

"I'll take you," Thea offered, it wasn't really weird for her to offer/mother. But it was a little strange that she was being nice to Jae, their relationship is literally built on insults and making fun of each other.

"Why?" he frowned skeptically.

"Because by the time you leave here by bus and get home to get change and then leave for work, you'll be late," she shrugged.

"So you're going to drive me all the way to work?"

"I was going to just drive you to the house but yeah I guess I can do that," she shrugged.

"Are you okay?" Jae raised an eyebrow.

"I'm fine, I'm going to the bathroom while you make up your mind," she stated leaving the room.

"She's weird today," Jae frowned.

"She's been crying, she's probably feeling a little too drained to fight with you," BM stated.

"Why was she crying?"

"Because the rest of is suck in situations like this," I shrugged regretting the movement.

"And she cries at everything," BM added.

"She deals with you lot no wonder she cries," Charlie stated.

"How has she managed to make this about her?" Bianca sighed rolling her eyes.

No one said anything, it looked like Charlie wanted to but she just rolled her eyes and kept quiet, which I was thankful for. I honestly didn't want to lay here and listen to them arguing.

"Dude, where's your necklace?" Charlie frowned.

I reached up to my neck suddenly feeling the absence of the chain and pendant that usually hangs around it and there was nothing.

"I don't know?" I said slowly.

CHARLIE

"They took it off you when you were brought in," Bianca shrugged as if it were nothing.

"Why?" Sam frowned.

"Dude it's protocol, relax, I'll go ask for it," BM stated trying to keep the piece.

Everyone knew how much that necklace meant to Sam, you didn't even need to know why to know; I mean he has never taken it off.

"It's just a necklace, it's not important right now, Sam should be resting," Bianca stated.

"Charlie why don't you come with me?" BM stated before I could say anything. Usually I wouldn't have gotten off the bed, but I needed a minute or two away from Bianca before I peeled her face of her skull.

"You don't need to play guardian all the time," I sighed as we walked down the hall way towards the reception for this wing.

"I like playing guardian," he shrugged.

"How are you doing?" he asked after we were quiet for a moment.

"I'm fine," shrugged.

"Really? Because you seem kind of mad," he hummed.

"Because she infuriates me, she's ridiculously dumb and she annoys me,"

"Okay," he nodded.

"So you slept with Sam?" he gave me a side glance.

"What's your point?" I raised and eyebrow as we got to the desk.

"I don't have one," he shrugged turning his attention to nurse.

"How can I help you?" the nurse smiled at us.

"Our brother down the the hall had his necklace removed when they took him through. We were just wondering where we would get it from?" I asked.

"What was your brothers name?"

"Sam Kim,"

"Oh, we handed that straight over to the girl that came in with him, she should have all of his stuff,"

"Bitch," Charlie mumbled turning around heading back towards Sams room.

"Thank you for your help, that wasn't directed at you," I gave her a smile before chasing after Charlie.

She was already half way back down the hallway, to be fair it wasn't a long hallway but Charlie was livid.

THEA

Jae and I walked back through the halls. We'd gotten half way back to the house when he'd realised he'd got his days mixed up and didn't actually have work so we turned around and came back. As we turned the corner we seen Charlie in Bianca's face a few meters away from Sams door.

Charlie look furious, Bianca look terrified and was failing at trying to show she wasn't. It was weird, I mean we don't like Bianca, and sure we make comments at her or about her and I've almost smacked her once or twice but, not Charlie. Charlie had an amazing hold on her temper, she generally just let things go because she didn't see the point in getting so worked up over something, it was probably a lot to do with her growing up with her brothers. I looked at the scene, clearly Bianca had pushed it too far, I noticed the necklace hanging from Bianca's hand, I couldn't be sure but from where I was standing it looked broken. Charlie snatched the necklace from her and slapped her across the face.

BM was quick to snake and arm around her waist and pull her away from a cowering Bianca, Jae jogged down the hallway, me not too far behind.

"Dude," Jae frowned, clearly I wasn't the only one confused by her mood.

"Put me down," she snapped at BM who was unsure if he should do it or not. He looked to me for help.

She wasn't me, she'd already got a smack in and was done, she probably just wanted to be alone right now. I nodded and he placed her back on her feet.

"Can I have your keys please?" she asked, I didn't think twice I just handed her my car keys and she made her way down the way Jae and I had just come.

"Are you going to explain what happened?" I turned to BM.

SAM

Jae, BM, and Thea made their way back into my room. Their mood was different from when they left.

"Where are Bianca and Charlie?"I frowned.

Bianca had left not long ago to go to the bathroom I was a little worried she'd got lost.

"Bianca went home and Charlie had to go do something," Thea shrugged.

"What?"

"Don't know, she just said she'll be back," she shrugged again, Jae rolled his eyes at her, it wasn't his normal Thea eye roll and this wasn't really a situation for it anyway but I didn't think too much into it.

"Okay, did you find my necklace?" I turned to BM.

"Yeah, they have it locked away there getting a someone to go get it and bring it too you, everyone is just busy right now," BM stated not really looking at me. Jae rolled his eyes again.

"What?" I frowned at him.

"They don't have your necklace," Jae started. My heart stopped.

"What?" I felt like ice.

"Jae," Thea frowned at him.

"What? I'm not going to lie to him," Jae shrugged.

"Where is it then?" I asked a little worried about what they would say.

"Are you going to explain what you saw or do I have to tell him from what I was told?" He asked

"Charlie is going to kill us both," BM sighed.

"She'll get over it," Jae shrugged.

"Can someone tell me what happened to my necklace?"

"They gave it to Bianca when they took it off you, Charlie and I were coming back down the hall after being told this and Bianca was standing outside your door with it in her hand before we reached her she pulled it until the chain snapped, Charlie, I assume, has gone to get it fixed," BM explained.

"You assume?"

"She got mad and slapped Bianca which is why Bianca left, then asked for Thea's keys and left without another word, she has your necklace now," BM continued.

CHARLIE

I'd walked in and out of three different jewelers, none of them could fix it on sight they all had to send it away and I couldn't do that, I could let someone else look after something so important so I just kept looking for someone who could fix it on site. It wasn't like it was be actual chain that was broken, it was just the clasp.

I was walking into another jeweler when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I figured it was either Jae or Thea trying to see where I am.

"Good afternoon, how can I help you?" an elderly Scottish man greeted. It was an old school jeweler, privately owned not one of the big name chains so I was hoping he wouldn't have to send it away.

"I have a necklace with a broken clasp that I need fixed today,"

"What kind of clasp?"

I pulled Sam's necklace from my pocket and hesitantly pasted it too him, he lent over the glass display cabinet full of antique jewelry.

"When was the last time this was maintained?"

"I'm not sure, it's my friends, he got it from his grandmother a few years ago, I don't think he's taken it off since, so at least 4 years," I shrugged.

"Mm," he nodded.

"Can you fix it? Without sending it away,"

"Lass, look around you, this isn't the type of place that sends things to others to do their job, I can have this fixed for you in 10 minutes, if you don't mind waiting,"

"I don't mind," I shook my head.

"Take a seat then lass, back in a moment," he gestured to and old style lounge.

I sat down, and checked my phone.

(1) New Message(s)

Sam: I can get it fixed later, so calm down and come back to the hospital. Thea's mothering me and won't go away, come save me.

Charlie: Let her mother you, it makes her feel better. I'll be back soon just have to do something first.

4 notes · View notes

chipsandwaffles · 6 years

Text

Nu Kappa Tau - Love

Synopsis: Sometimes the most obvious thing to say is the hardest. Member: Doyoung/Reader Word Count: 8,116 Notes: a fic that’s been sitting around collecting dust for ages... it corresponds with THIS as well, so, read together?? or one before the other?? it doesn’t matter. enjoy ^^

“Oh my fucking god…” You stare down at your grades in horror, seeing the eleven out of twenty staring back at you, as if mocking you. You weren’t angry at the grade necessarily, you were angry at the person who gave you it. The name staring back at you telling you who graded it is mocking you even worse than the numbers.

Of course Kim Doyoung graded it. He was the worst TA in the history of TA’s (even though he wasn’t actually a TA) because he always singled you out when he was grading. He gave you bad grades for no reason even on things you know deserved a perfect score, all because he could. You challenged it every time, but, even so, it was tiring to always have to go to him to convince him to change your grade.

You just wanted to go one assignment without having to see his stupid face and his stupid, cute smile looking at you as he told you after arguing for a good minute that he’ll review your grade.

“…Y/N, you okay?” You look over at the voice speaking to you, seeing Yuta, one of yours and Doyoung’s mutual friends. He was smiling like he knew something with that stupid smirk on his face, and you glare at him.

“The fuck are you looking at?” You ask. He points down at the paper in your hands, making you look down at the score and Doyoung’s name again. It was still mocking you.

“What’d you get?” Yuta asks. You look back up at him, and his stupid smirk was mocking you just as much as Doyoung’s name and your grade.

“…what’d you get?” You question back. You swear if he got a higher grade than you, you were going to kill Doyoung.

Because while Doyoung gave you bad grades for no reason, he gave Yuta bad grades because he just wasn’t good at school. Which, was fine, he wasn’t here for school he was here on an athletic scholarship.

But, even so. If you got worse than Yuta, then Doyoung was dead.

“Fifteen out of twenty,” Yuta says.

You feel a tinge of disrespect and your blood boils at Yuta’s words. Fifteen out of twenty. Fifteen out of twenty was a passing grade. Yuta barely ever got passing grades. Fifteen out of twenty was better than your pathetic grade of eleven. Fifteen out of twenty is what you should’ve gotten at least.

You scrunch up your assignment in your hands and stand up, slamming your hands on the table.

“Where the fuck is Doyoung?”

Right off of campus there’s a bookstore and café that lots of college students frequent when the library was full, one that you frequented as well because you knew you’d get peace and quiet there no matter what.

Not to mention Doyoung worked there, and you always liked watching him work in his cute apron while you studied.

It was kind of ironic that even though Doyoung managed to piss you off to no end with his grading, you still managed to have a crush on him. It’s not like he was a bad guy by any means, because every time you talked you’d have a fun and interesting conversation. And sometimes he’d give you free muffins too, and sometimes he helped you out with homework you didn’t understand. He was an awfully sweet guy, really.

Not to mention he was cute, and tall, and made the best chocolate chip muffins you’ve ever eaten in your life. Everything about him screamed your type.

You blame your freshmen self too, because freshmen you got one ridiculously big smile from Doyoung during your first class together and you’ve been keeping your eye on him ever since. In case maybe there came a chance in which you could ask him out for coffee or a late-night snack.

But, as you stomped your away across campus, you didn’t want to do anything with Doyoung besides punch his stupid, pretty face to a pulp. This bad grading shit had gone one too long, and the fact that Yuta had somehow gotten a better grade than you was the icing on the shitty cake that was Doyoung.

Your stupid crush had kept you from killing him before, but no more. It was time to put Doyoung in his place.

You shove open the door to the bookstore, ignoring the looks you were getting from the few customers and Johnny, one of Doyoung’s friends and coworkers. Your eyes search the place until they land on a head of bright, orange hair walking out of the backroom, surprised filling his face when he spots you.

“Kim. Fucking. Doyoung.” You stomp your way over to him and shove at him, making him stumble back. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Huh? You think you’re so high and mighty because you grade papers for fucking professors like the suck-up you are, right?! You’re not even a real fucking TA-”

“Y/N, what-

You throw the crumpled-up assignment you’d been squeezing in your fist at Doyoung, shoving him again. “You can’t just give me bad grades because you feel like it, you fucking asshole! You make me feel like such a fucking idiot every time I get my assignment back because I know I did fine on it and then you just-

“Y/N- can we-

“No, shut up!” You can feel tears welling up from being so upset with Doyoung, and he genuinely looks concerned about you. If he was so concerned, he shouldn’t have graded you so poorly in the first place, especially when you knew you deserved a better grade than fucking eleven out of twenty.

“You gave Yuta a fucking better grade than me- And Yuta never gets better grades than me- are you fucking trying to piss me off, Doyoung?! Huh?!”

Doyoung opens his mouth to speak, but you shake your head, taking a step a back and interrupting him before he can say anything. “You must get like some weird fucking kick out of seeing me pissed off and crying- fuck, I hate you so much, Doyoung, you stupid fucking asshole!”

You turn around and stomp back out the way you came, shoving past some customers that had walked in and ignoring any calls of your name from Doyoung. You were going to go back to your dorm and cry there and avoid anyone else for the rest of the day. You deserved that.

And while you were at it, you were going to crush any feelings you had for Doyoung, because he didn’t deserve you liking him. Not that asshole.

Nakamoto Yuta, 10:11 A.M hey you left your backpack in the classroom yesterday

Nakamoto Yuta, 10:11 A.M if you swing by the frat house I can give it to you

You stare at your phone, your eyes stinging from the light and from being so puffy from crying yourself to sleep last night. You felt pathetic and like shit, and Yuta’s texts didn’t help.

Going to the frat house, the Nu Kappa Tau frat house, the one that Doyoung was president for seemed like the dumbest idea. There was a huge chance that he’d end up answering the door, and if that happened, you don’t know if you could keep yourself from crying or worse, yelling at him again. Your throat hurt from yelling at him before, and you didn’t feel like making it worse.

You move your hand out from your blanket and text Yuta back.

You, 10:13 A.M meet me at the library or on the soccer field or something

You, 10:13 A.M I’m not going to the frat

You have no time to set your phone down because a few seconds later, Yuta has already texted you back.

Nakamoto Yuta, 10:13 A.M I refuse to put on pants today just to meet you and give you your backpack back

Nakamoto Yuta, 10:13 A.M meet me at the frat or I’m telling ten when he gets back from Thailand that your new best friend is jaehyun

You whine at Yuta’s texts and throw the covers off of you, texting him back as you move around to gather fresh clothes to wear after you showered.

You, 10:15 A.M I fucking hate you

Nakamoto Yuta, 10:15 A.M <3 see you soon

The frat house is located down the street from campus, a fifteen minute walk if you felt like it but you wanted to spend the least amount of time getting there and getting back to the safety of your bed, so you end up driving. Luckily, morning traffic isn’t bad at all so you make it there in record time and park behind the house.

You text Yuta that you’ve arrived and don’t even bother knocking on the door, hoping he’ll just come down from his room and give you your backpack. Then you could leave and be on your way. Maybe you could stop at one of the convenience stores and pick up a snack on your way back. Yeah. That sounded nice.

The door opens while you’re in thought wondering what to get on your way home, and immediately your eyes trail up a tall, lean body and end on a face that you didn’t want to see. This is why you didn’t want to go in the first place.

“Y/N- hey-

“I’m not talking to you. Where’s Yuta? I told him I was here.”

“Uh, yeah, about that…” Doyoung steps back and gestures for you to come inside. “I’m the only one here. I asked him to text-

You stop listening to Doyoung and turn around, stepping back down the small staircase of the frat house and back towards your car. You should’ve known better than to trust Yuta of all people. He always pulled shit like this.

“Y/N!” You’re halfway to your car when you feel Doyoung’s hand around your wrist, tugging you back. “Y/N, please don’t leave. I wanted to apologize- I made muffins.”

That stops you from trying to break free from Doyoung’s grasp. Doyoung’s muffins were so good, and if they were chocolate chip, how could you deny them? They were there for the taking.

You curse yourself for being so easily swayed by Doyoung’s stupid fucking muffins.

He releases your arm when you turn back around and start back towards the house, following after you until you’re in the kitchen. You take a seat at the island and watch him pull out two trays of muffins from the oven. He sets them on the counter in front of you.

“Give it a minute they’re-

“Ow!”

“-hot.” You wave your hand back and forth and glare at Doyoung. It wasn’t his fault that your hand was now stinging, but, you were still going to glare at him.

He sighs and moves around the kitchen, grabbing a bowl, filling up the bowl with water, dropping a few ice cubes it in, and then placing it in front of you.

“Just soak your finger in the water for a bit. It’ll feel better,” he tells you. You grumble but do as he says, the relief coming almost instantly. You weren’t going to thank Doyoung, because you were still pissed at him so you two enter an awkward silence.

Doyoung busies himself with pulling out the muffins and putting them on a tray with some tongs, which is the weirdest way you’ve ever seen someone handle muffins before. He doesn’t seem to notice your judgement, clearly preoccupied with whatever might be on his mind. You hoped it was an apology. You were already waiting around longer than you wanted, and if he didn’t apologize soon you weren’t going to be happy.

When the muffins have cooled enough, you pick one off the plate, the one that definitely had the most chocolate chips, and start picking at it, still waiting for Doyoung’s apology.

You kind of hate yourself for still sticking around. You swear it was because of the muffins, but, you knew it was more than that. You knew your stupid crush had you sticking around, waiting for Doyoung to apologize so then you could go back to whatever weird, not entirely a friendship, thing you had with him.

You’re halfway through your muffin when Doyoung finally speaks up.

“…I’m sorry.” You look up at him, cocking an eyebrow to let him know you were listening. “About… this entire grading thing.”

“I don’t know why you’re such a jerk about it. Like, you know I got a good grade, just give me a good grade,” you tell him. Doyoung nods his head and pulls a muffin off the plate, beginning to pick at it.

“I know, Y/N. It’s just…” You roll your eyes at Doyoung.

“You better have the best excuse for why you’ve been giving me shitty grades or else I’m gonna throw all these muffins at you.”

Doyoung is silent again for a long moment. He shoves pieces of muffins into his mouth, and you notice his ears turning red. Was he embarrassed about his reasoning? You stay silent, waiting for Doyoung to talk when he was ready.

“Well, uh, Yuta…” You groan at hearing Yuta’s name. What the fuck did Yuta tell Doyoung so that he’d give you bad grades?

“Oh my god, Doyoung-

“He told me,” Doyoung starts, interrupting you. “He was telling me about how he got laid for like, the third time in one week and I… I asked him how he got girls to like him so easily because I… wanted to know if maybe I could use some of his tips to…”

Doyoung pauses, looking down at his muffin. “To get you to like me and he said “make her hate you” because apparently all girls love that? He was… really convincing when I questioned him.”

“…Doyoung-

“Okay, see, I thought it was going great, you know? Because you always had to come to me when I gave you the wrong grade and you clearly weren’t happy about it. He was telling me it was working so I believed him- and then he told me to give you a worse grade than him because that’d definitely work but…”

“It didn’t. Do you know you’re an idiot?” Doyoung nods his head.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Doyoung, first of all, Yuta hypes himself up all the time. He doesn’t get laid for the exact reasons he told you. He’s a fucking jerk and he pulls shit like this and just pisses girls off. Second of all, why would you ever listen to Yuta about relationship advice? You’d be better off asking Johnny because at least Johnny is nice.”

“I know- I’m sorry, I really am-

“You don’t know how bad I want to throw all those muffins at you,” you say. Doyoung actually looks like he’s about to cry, and you’re not sure it’s because he’s genuinely upset with himself or because he might’ve ruined whatever you could’ve had together. Either way, it makes you want to forgive him.

“I’ll stop giving you shitty grades, Y/N. I’m sorry. I really am.”

You pick up a muffin off the muffin plate and set it in front of you, staring at it. You were going to forgive Doyoung, you know you were, but he needed to make it up to you before you could. You sit there quietly, thinking of all the ways he could before leaning forward and hitting his shoulder to get his attention.

“I’m going to forgive you,” you say. Doyoung’s face brightens up instantly.

“Really?”

“Mmhmm. Not yet though. You need to make it up to me.” Doyoung agrees, nodding his head and leaning forward waiting for what he had to do. “I want you to make me dinner every day this week. And I want it to be so good that I can shove it in Yuta’s face because he can’t eat it.”

“Done.”

“And I want free muffins for the rest of my life.”

“Okay.”

“And on our first date you’re buying everything-

“First date?” Doyoung looks hopeful, a small smile on his face. You have to stop yourself from smiling back.

“Yeah, first date. Because I like you, loser. Without the help of Yuta and his stupid tricks. You should’ve just given me a muffin and asked me out on a date.”

“…Yuta said that was lame and you wouldn’t like that,” Doyoung says. You can’t help the eyeroll.

“No more listening to Yuta about relationship advice, either. If you do, I’m going to break up with you.” Doyoung laughs at that and with the smile he has on his face now you can’t help the smile that appears on your own face.

“Deal.”

“And I want 1000 kisses by the end of the year. Once I get all 1000, you’ll have my forgiveness.” Doyoung leans closer to you, and for a spilt second you think he might actually kiss you.

“That means I have to kiss you almost three times a day.”

You stare at him, your eyes flickering down to his lips and for another spilt second, you think you might actually kiss Doyoung.

“I’m okay with that.”

“Okay. Done deal then?”

You nod. “Done deal.”

“What are you smiling about?” You look away from your phone and to Doyoung who was sitting next to you, his own smile on his face.

“I was just thinking back on how we got together. You were so stupid back then for listening to Yuta,” you tell him. Doyoung frowns and crosses his arms.

“I wasn’t that stupid,” he tries. You roll your eyes at him.

“You were the stupidest,” you say. You lean forward and press a kiss to Doyoung’s cheek. “But it’s okay, because I fixed it.”

“I thought my muffins kind of helped,” Doyoung says.

“I mean, they helped me from not beating you up for being an asshole.”

Suddenly, you’re being pinned to the couch, Doyoung on top of you and his hands pinning your arms to your side. “They must’ve not helped that much since you were still mad at me for another week-

“You really made upset me! I had every right to be mad at you-

“Uh-huh. You totally didn’t just pretend to still be mad at me so that I’d end up making lunch for you too, right?”

You bite your lip, trying to keep yourself from smiling. Doyoung was always so perceptive. “…Nope. I totally didn’t do that.”

Doyoung rolls his eyes this time and his hands release yours, only for them to go to your sides. He starts tickling you, making you squirm underneath him because tickling was always a weakness. He knew how to exploit it at the best moments too.

“Doyoungie- stop it!” He doesn’t listen, only continues until you’re both out of breath from laughing so hard. And then he’s kissing you, his hands trailing up your shirt until it’s being thrown to the floor. His lips move down your jaw, to your neck, leaving kisses on every inch of skin Doyoung can.

“Doyoung- I have to get going soon-

“You have five minutes,” he says. You feel his hips grind against yours and you give in immediately. You did have five minutes to spare.

By the time you’re done fooling around, you’re well past the time you were supposed to be somewhere. Doyoung doesn’t seem to care, because even as you’re trying to put clothes back on he clings to you, making it take longer than needed.

“You’re so clingy today,” you tell him. He nuzzles his nose into the back of your neck, humming out a noise of agreement. “Any reason for that?”

“I just like you a lot,” Doyoung says. You smile and shove on one of your shoes, fixing it as best you can while having a clingy boyfriend hugging you before turning around in Doyoung’s arms.

“I like you a lot too, but I really do have to go. I was supposed to meet up with Mark twenty minutes ago.” Doyoung steps away from you and lets you put on your other shoe, and then your backpack. When you’re done he wraps his arms around you again and pulls you close for one last kiss.

It lasts longer than a goodbye kiss, not that you mind because you loved kissing Doyoung, but you really did have to get to Mark. You pull away after a while and smile at Doyoung. He smiles back with this soft smile, and you’re about to tell him goodbye but he opens his mouth first.

“I love you.”

You blink a few times at Doyoung and laugh.

You don’t mean to laugh, it just comes out. You quickly cover your mouth and step back, his expression falling from his face. You reach behind you to open the door, stepping out of the way so it can open up.

“I-I gotta go- I’ll text you later, okay?” You step outside, ready to run away but Doyoung stops you from closing the door.

“Y/N-

“Sorry! Mark’s waiting! I’ll see you later!” You don’t even bother closing the door, instead just rushing down the steps of the frat house and to your car. You don’t bother to look back, nor do you look at the door when you’re about to drive away. You needed to get away as quick as possible. The faster you did, the faster you could stop thinking about what just happened.

“Y/N, are you okay?” You look up from the assignment you were reviewing for Mark, seeing the obvious concern on his face.

“…Yeah, I’m good, why?”

“You’ve been looking at the same question for the last half hour... Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t have to help me study today…”

You shake your head and tell Mark you’re fine again, but you knew you weren’t. You had tried focusing on his assignment, but all you could think about were the words Doyoung told you before you left.

I love you

You feel like an idiot, because you should’ve just said you loved him too. Because it’s not like you didn’t. You and Doyoung had been dating for a year already, and there had been multiple times when you wanted to tell him how much you loved him. He was your first good boyfriend, the one who matched the best with you and the one that had made you happier than anyone before. Even after the whole Yuta crap in the beginning, he was still the best.

But you know why you laughed instead of saying it back. Your last boyfriend who said that wasn’t exactly the best guy, a total asshole even worse than Yuta. It was in high school, and, being as vulnerable as you were as a teenager, it didn’t exactly help you for future relationships.

Doyoung had said he loved you and you freaked out because you were terrified.

“Y/N.”

You’re snapped out of your thoughts to see Mark looking even more concerned than earlier, and you sigh, realizing you needed to say something to make him feel better.

“Mark, can I give you a hypothetical situation?” You ask. He nods his head. “Okay, so, let’s say Johnny has a girlfriend, right?”

“Right…”

“And said girlfriend got hurt in the past, right? She had a shitty boyfriend who made her lose trust in lots of guys but then she met Johnny and trusted him, you know? And after being together for a while, Johnny says he loves her.”

“She said I love you back, right?” Mark asks, his eyes widening in hope. You laugh a little, because Mark was cute getting wrapped up in your sort of hypothetical situation.

“Mark, it’s hypothetical.” He seems to remember that and rubs the back of his neck, laughing awkwardly.

“I totally forgot, oh my god. Okay, go on.”

“So, let’s say she didn’t say she loved him back. Not because she doesn’t, but because she’s scared of being hurt. Do you think… Johnny would understand if she… didn’t say it until she was ready?”

Mark thinks for a moment, and you look down at his assignment, thinking for yourself.

You’re not sure if Doyoung would necessarily understand, because Doyoung kind of had a fragile heart. If you said you couldn’t say you loved him back, he might think it’s because you didn’t and then let it get to his head. You definitely didn’t want that, and, you’re pretty sure Doyoung was freaking out anyways on his own back at the frat house. Either way, this whole situation was already a mess.

“I think he’d understand if she couldn’t say it back,” Mark speaks up, gaining your attention back. “I mean, it’s not like she doesn’t love him but she just can’t say it. He’d totally understand.”

“Okay…”

“But, if she’s afraid of getting hurt, why did she trust Johnny long enough for him to be able to say it? Was she expecting to break up with him before he said that? I mean, it kind of seems like she doesn’t trust him not to hurt her, but at the same time she does trust him not to hurt her?”

You stare at Mark, frowning. “She’s a very confused girl, Mark.”

“…Y/N, this doesn’t seem all that hypothetical.” Mark stares back at you, and then leans forward, his voice turning into a whisper. “Did… this happen between you and Doyoung?”

Even if Mark was kind of a clutz and sometimes too innocent for his own good, he could be just as perceptive as Doyoung when he wanted to be.

“…Doyoung said he loved me before I came here and I kind of… ran away.”

“Did you say anything to him? Before you ran away?” You shake your head. “…Y/N, I think that’s worse than explaining why you… can’t say it.”

“I know- I just- I freaked out. I freaked out so bad.” You feel tears pricking the corner of your eyes and you hang your head in your hands. Mark is quick to move next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders for comfort like the sweetheart he was.

“Y/N, you should talk to Doyoung,” Mark mumbles to you. You sniffle and nod, knowing he was right. If you didn’t, it was just going to get worse.

“I’ll- I’ll do it later I need to help with your assignment. I said I’d look it over for you so-

“You should take a minute to yourself first. I don’t mind.” You pull away from Mark and stand up, ruffling his hair. He really was a sweetheart.

“Thanks for listening, Mark. I’ll be right back.”

Mark smiles at you. “No problem, Y/N.”

It’s two days after the whole incident with Doyoung, and you finally have the courage to answer his texts. You had been ignoring the frat chat and Ten as well, not wanting to say anything to him. As much as you loved your best friend, you knew damn well he’d say something to everyone else. So, you kept quiet from him and Doyoung and everyone else.

Until now, of course, because Doyoung needed some sort of reply from you.

You, 2:03 P.M passed that quiz with a perfect score

You stare at your reply, knowing you had completely ignored any of his previous texts but that was the first thing that came to mind. Doyoung would be happy you got a perfect score anyways.

Within seconds, a text is sent back to you.

Doyoung <3, 2:03 P.M perfect as always

You, 2:03 P.M :)

Your fingers hover over the letters on the keyboard, not sure what to say next. You hadn’t exactly thought that far; you just wanted to talk to Doyoung.

The messages moving up the screen distracts you and you read what Doyoung has sent.

Doyoung <3, 2:04 P.M if you want to ignore what happened the other day we can

Well. You weren’t expecting that. You think for a moment, trying to figure out what to say to Doyoung. You definitely didn’t want to talk about this over text, but you also didn’t want to leave him completely in the dark.

You, 2:06 P.M I don’t want to ignore it

You, 2:06 P.M but I don’t want to talk about this over text

You, 2:06 P.M I just kind of need some time to think about it?

You, 2:06 P.M we can still act like normal and talk but I just need some time

You, 2:06 P.M is that okay?

That seemed good enough for now. Hopefully.

Doyoung <3, 2:06 P.M how much time do you think?

You, 2:06 P.M not long I promise

You, 2:06 P.M just a little bit and then we’ll talk about it

You, 2:07 P.M okay?

Doyoung <3, 2:07 P.M okay

Doyoung <3, 2:07 P.M just keep me updated

You, 2:07 P.M <3

The thing about college is that sometimes you can just get ridiculously busy for no reason. Which happens to you while in the middle of your problems with Doyoung.

You still think about the whole thing of course, but really, it’s on the backburner while you focus on other things. You had a test to study for, your job gets busy while you cover someone’s shift for three days, a problem comes about between two of your friends, assignments start piling up, and then you hear that Epsilon Chi Omicron is having a frat party that you have to attend because Nu Kappa Tau is attending and you were practically an honorary member.

Not to mention you were dating the president, so, if you didn’t show up, then someone was going to ask questions.

The two weeks leading up to that is rough, and you barely have time to talk to Doyoung or visit the frat house. He gets worried at first, because you’re stressed and just wanted to help you relax, and then he gets frustrated because you still haven’t talked. Two days before the party, you tell him that you were sorry for being busy and that you’d talk at the party, and he agrees and leaves you alone.

Even though you had left your relationship with Doyoung on the backburner for those two weeks, you figured it was now or never to talk about it at the party. You knew what you needed to tell him and what to talk about, so it’d be fine.

And, hopefully, he’d understand and maybe when he told you he loved you, you’d be able to say it back this time.

You’re nervous. You’re so fucking nervous. After the mess in the group chat that happened earlier with everyone figuring out that you and Doyoung were kind of having problems, you had a terrible feeling in the pit of your stomach.

And it worsened the second Doyoung walked into the Epsilon Chi Omicron house, his eyes locking onto you. He points upstairs and then heads up, repeating his texts in physical form, and you look away to make eye contact with Taeyong. He gives you a thumbs up for support and you smile, leaving Mark with him and then heading upstairs yourself.

Doyoung is standing at the end of the hallway, and the closer you get the more nervous he looks. At least you weren’t alone.

You shouldn’t be nervous though. It was going to be fine. Doyoung and you were going to be fine.

You hoped.

“Hey,” Doyoung looks up at you and when you’re close enough he pulls you into the room he’s selected for you two and after closing the door, wraps you up in his arms.

After not seeing Doyoung for two weeks, after only talking over text and once over the phone, after not feeling his hands on you or feeling his breath tickle your ear, a wave of relief washes over you. Doyoung made you feel so safe and good and with just one touch he made you feel like nothing was wrong in the world because you were with him. That feeling in your gut was gone just by Doyoung holding you.

You feel like crying because how could you just walk out on such a good thing when he said I love you.

“I’m sorry,” you choke out, wrapping your arms around Doyoung. He squeezes you tightly and you feel a kiss being pressed to the top of your head.

“It’s okay. We’ll talk. Don’t apologize.”

Doyoung and you stay like that, in each other’s embrace for a while, with Doyoung eventually beginning to rock you back and forth to the music that was playing downstairs. It’s not at all a slow song, but it makes you laugh that he was trying to slow dance anyways.

“You’re such a dork,” you tell Doyoung.

“I’m your dork,” he replies. It makes you smile hearing him acting like normal. And, you feel like this entire talk was going to go alright. If not better than alright.

You eventually move to the middle of the bedroom you were in, sitting down on the floor (because no way were you touching that bed) across from each other. You cross your legs underneath you, with Doyoung doing the same and you smile when your knees touch. Even the smallest, innocent touch like that made you happy.

“I missed you,” he says. You look up at him and reach out for his hand. You wanted to hold it while you talked.

“I missed you too.”

Doyoung squeezes your hand when you entwine yours with his, and then you’re sitting there quietly, thinking about what to talk about first. You move your foot to the rhythm of the music downstairs, the movement helping you gather your thoughts. At least this party was good for something.

You take a deep breath, look at Doyoung, and start talking.

“So, back in high school, I had this boyfriend, right?” Doyoung nods, his eyes focused on you, listening intently. You’re glad you had his full attention.

“I thought he was great, you know? Because I was naïve and he was like, my first real boyfriend. He took me on dates and bought me gifts, I mean, he seemed great on the surface. Really. And then like, this was our last year of high school, so we were applying for colleges and crap.

“And he found out we weren’t going to go to the same university. Which seemed like whatever because that happens. I thought it was totally fine but he didn’t like it. He got so upset because he wanted me to go to the same school as him and then from then on he just started being really… shitty. He’d question me on everything and if I said I was hanging out with people he just accused me of all this shit.

“And I probably should’ve figured something was wrong when he told me he loved me like… really soon. I mean, within the first month or something. He just started to get so controlling over all this shit and I eventually couldn’t take it anymore so I tried breaking up with him.

“But he just wouldn’t let me go? I mean, it’s fine to be heartbroken over a break up but he got obsessive and he’d follow me home and he was just being creepy and all this shit. And he’d tell me over and over again that he loved me and I was the only one for him and it was just way too much. I never told him what university I got accepted into so luckily all that stopped after we graduated but like, that shit kind of fucks with you, you know?”

Doyoung nods, clearly still listening, and he squeezes your hand again, letting you continue.

“Like, this probably really wasn’t obvious at all when we first started dating, but… like, sometimes I questioned everything you did and I compared you to him. Because I didn’t want to date another guy like him. I was so afraid you’d tell me you loved me within the first month of us dating and I wouldn’t tell you where I was going sometimes because I just… I was so scared you might be just like him.

“And, I mean, clearly you aren’t, because I’m still with you after a year but there was all that initial fear and then… you said you loved me. And, this is so stupid, because it’s been a year and we’ve known each other for a while and done so much together so I can see why you said it but…”

You feel Doyoung’s other hand reach up to wipe at the tears that had started falling. You hadn’t even noticed you had started crying.

“I just got so scared, Doyoung. All that shit that happened back in high school just came back and- it was so stupid because you’re nothing like him and you’re so sweet and great and I like you so fucking much- but- I don’t know I just got scared and I feel like shit because of it because you were probably expecting me to say it back and everything and I didn’t-

“And it’s not like I don’t, you know, I just- my first boyfriend just fucked it up so bad for me. I didn’t even tell my friends I loved them for so long like, it’s just hard for me. I don’t mean for it to be, it just is.”

Doyoung wipes some more tears that had fallen, and you pause yourself, taking a breath. Doyoung decides to speak up while you’ve stopped talking.

“I was scared too,” he starts. He doesn’t continue at first, clearly not confident in what he was saying. It was kind of funny, because Doyoung was always so confident in his words, but this was different. You’d never had such a deep talk like this.

“Because I dated this girl in high school and she just… she was so mean to me even though I tried so hard to please her and it was an awful relationship and when we broke up I thought I’d just feel like shit and never like anyone ever again.

“And then- then I met you freshmen year and I thought “oh, it won’t be so bad to try again” and when I fucked up with that whole Yuta shit I was so pissed at myself. But then you gave me a chance and I tried my best to be so good for you- and- this is… hard to say, but, when I realized I loved you I kept thinking about her because if she was there she’d tell me “she doesn’t care” and “she doesn’t want to hear it” and I ended up deciding I wouldn’t tell you until you told me.

“But that day I just kept looking at you and kept thinking about it and when you stuck around even though you had to see Mark it made me think maybe it’d be fine to tell you, and then you said you liked me a lot too- so, I figured- you know?”

You and Doyoung must be in sync, because tears are falling from his eyes too. You reach up your hand to wipe at them and he smiles at you.

“I think we’re both scared, Y/N. And, we’re learning things together, right? I think we’re really good for each other and… we’ll just help each other get past this kind of stuff. Yeah?” You nod your head and move your hand behind Doyoung’s head, pushing it closer to yours until your foreheads are touching.

“Right. We’re good for each other. So good.”

“So fucking good,” Doyoung agrees. “It’s okay if you can’t say you love me right away. I understand why you can’t. I just… don’t run away again, please? That… hurt more than you not saying it.”

“Mark said that too,” you giggle. “I won’t run away again. Promise.”

Doyoung leans forward just that little bit more until your lips are touching, and for a while, you sit there in the middle of that room and kiss each other. At some point you even climb into Doyoung’s lap to get a better angle, and you stay like that, kissing Doyoung. It makes you happy and feel relaxed, like you didn’t have to worry about anything at all as long as you were with Doyoung.

Of course, that bliss could only last so long, because you had to go downstairs and join the party and release Taeyong of Mark duty.

Which you definitely regret considering Mark wasn’t even at the party anymore. The stress had only been gone for that hour you spent with Doyoung and now it was back, worse than ever. Most of your friends were drunk (except Yuta, but fuck knows you weren’t talking to him) and then Doyoung suggested you go talk to the Sigma Mu Epsilon girls, which, honestly, was worse than talking to your drunk friends.

You only did it for Mark Lee, that was for sure. All of Doyoung’s intense stares from across the dance floor while he texted you to talk to them definitely wasn’t what made you do it. You just had to find Mark Lee.

You drag one ridiculously drunk Jaehyun over to the group of girls standing off to the side of the dance floor, because if they didn’t give you answers, they’d give you answers when you passed out Jaehyun’s phone number to all of them.

Which, in retrospect, was probably such a shitty thing to do as a friend, but you needed to find Mark. The last time someone got lost at a frat party, it was Jaehyun and he ended up breaking his arm after falling out of a tree into his own throw up. That wasn’t pleasant to deal with at all, so, before something like that happened to Mark, you needed to find him.

And if that meant giving away Jaehyun’s phone number, so be it.

“Y/N, I told you I never wanted to see your face-

“Yeah, that’s great and all. Don’t really care. You guys know Mark, right? Cute, about this tall, was probably hanging around one of your freshmen girls…”

“He’s my soul! No- soulmate!” Jaehyun pipes up next to you, laughing at his own words. You ignore him, keeping on with the conversation at hand.

“Why should I tell you that?”

“Because he’s not here anymore, and I’m supposed to keep my eye on him-

“I don’t have to tell you anything-

“Oh my god- I will give you Jaehyun’s phone number- honestly, I’ll give you all his phone number if you really want it, if you just tell me if Mark wandered off somewhere outside of the party with one of your girls. Right Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun laughs and nods his head. “Yesssss.”

“See? So, please. Did you see Mark?”

The sorority president, the one you know doesn’t like you, rolls her eyes and points to the door. “He left earlier with one of our freshmen girls, yeah. Not sure where they went, but your best bet is probably somewhere by the lake.”

“Lake, great. Got it!” You shove Jaehyun into the group of girls before they can keep you there any longer and rush off to get Doyoung, taking his hand and dragging him out of the house with you.

Doyoung tries asking questions, but you know if you answer any, he’ll just keep asking more and more so you just drag him down the street of frat houses and sororities, ignoring any other drunk college students that were giggling and stumbling as you passed by.

It only takes a few minutes for you to reach the lake that sits at the end of the street, and surprisingly, there’s only a few people wandering around. You pass by the couple making out at the edge of the water, the three boys stumbling back towards the street, and head straight to the dock. You know Mark is sitting there with whatever girl he decided to drag along, because his bright neon hoodie with “NKT” and “Mark” printed on the back sticks out like a sore thumb.

Doyoung calls out his name first, and then you right after, and he looks over, pulling away from the girl and standing up. You and Doyoung rush over to him, your footsteps echoing loudly as you go.

“Mark Lee, what the hell were you thinking?!” You stop in front of him and grab at his shoulders, shaking him roughly.

“Y/N- I just-

“Don’t make excuses! I was so worried- next time don’t turn off your phone you little punk! I don’t care that you left but you didn’t say anything-

“I told Taeyong-

You move your arms to wrap around Mark’s neck, putting him in a headlock. You rub your fist across the top of his head, and he starts complaining, trying to get you off. “You told Taeyong when he was drunk off his ass you fucking little punk. Little punk who turns off his phone and makes me fucking worry. Little punk who’s going to get grounded for sneaking off-

“AH, Y/N!” Mark manages to get you off of him and pushes you away, making you fumble back into Doyoung. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you, holding you there as you flail at Mark.

“Ah, you’re so embarrassing…” Mark whines. He turns to his girl and apologizes to her, but she just giggles and shakes her head, finding the whole thing quite entertaining. That was good at least. You didn’t want Mark crushing on some rude girl.

“We’re just glad you’re safe, Mark, right Y/N?” Doyoung asks. You quit your flailing knowing fully well you weren’t getting out of Doyoung’s grasp and stare at Mark.

“Yeah, we’re glad you’re safe, Marker. You’re just lucky you didn’t end up like Jaehyun his freshmen year… I would’ve killed you.” Mark laughs awkwardly at you.

“You’re such a mom, Y/N…”

Doyoung must sense how awkward the situation was at this point, because he starts dragging you away from Mark and his girl, telling Mark that you’ll see him back at the frat house. He hugs you from behind until you’re a safe distance away from the lake, knowing that you won’t run back to Mark this far away.

“You should’ve let me push him into the lake,” you tell Doyoung, looking back at the lake. You can’t see Mark anymore, which was probably the best for the both of you.

“We’ll scold him later, Y/N. I didn’t want to embarrass him anymore in front of that girl.” You look up at Doyoung, smiling.

“We’ll scold him later? Like, together?” Doyoung looks at you and nods.

“That’s what we do best, don’t we?” You laugh and stop Doyoung in the street, turning him so you’re facing each other. Your hands reach up to caress his face and you pull him down to press your lips together in a sweet kiss.

“We should go back to the house,” Doyoung says when you pull away. “Haven’t heard you scream my name in a while.”

You immediately shove Doyoung. “You’re so nasty, oh my fuck.”

You start walking away from Doyoung, but, just as quick as you had pushed him away, he’s back on you, hugging you from behind again. “You love it.” He won’t let go, so you end up staying like that, waddling back towards the NKT frat house.

Not that you really mind that much.

“Do you think it’s really necessary to wake them up like this?” Mark asks. You, Hansol, and Doyoung were standing in the kitchen, pots and pans in your hands, ready to start banging after you counted down. The drunk assholes that lost Mark last night deserved to wake up in an asshole way.

“Mark, when you become president of the frat house, you’ll understand that sometimes these things are needed,” Doyoung explains. Mark only laughs a little before going back to his breakfast.

“Whenever you’re ready, babe.” You look at Doyoung and smile, because the way he looks at you is so fond and nice. It warms your heart to no end. It almost makes you want to tell him you love him.

Almost.

“Did you know I like you a lot?” You ask him.

“I do. I like you a lot too,” he replies. Hansol groans next to you and count offs instead of letting you do it because clearly you were preoccupied with making heart eyes at Doyoung.

The second he says zero though, you and Doyoung don’t hesitate to join in on the noise together, in sync as always.

#kim doyoung scenarios #kim doyoung imagines #Doyoung Scenarios #doyoung imagines #nct fanfic #nct scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #nct imagines #sheep writes #i've gotten lazy with making gifs

270 notes · View notes

isobel-thorm · 6 years

Note

Hi! You can pick whichever quote you like for the prompt because you always have good takes on things, but I thought “Quit smiling at me, I can’t stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that” might be a fun one if you need someone to decide! It can be John/Nic too (I never noticed the John/dep thing until that one anon and now I’m scarred lmao)

Y’all are out here trying to make me cry, aren’t you? Thank youuuu!! :3 Also thanks for giving me specifics because I can’t decide anything for shit.

John/Deputy Nic: Lil’ Red Riding Hood

Two weeks had passed since the Tree Incident between John and the Deputy. And the bane of his existence had just finished off blowing up every silo in the area, according to the last reports that had come in a matter of moments ago. His people had at least listened and known he wasn’t fucking around when he asked for immediate updates on her progress. He had flipped on the radio to find the Deputy’s frequency, only to hear Kim Rye halfway through congratulating her. He waited with a white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel of his car for her to stop, and once she did, he jammed his finger onto the talk button. “Deputy! That’s not very nice. However you feel about my brothers and I, you’re still ruining supplies for the innocent people we’ve taken in.”

There was silence for a few moments. Then, just as adamantly as he had spoken: “I know they’re full of Bliss, you ass, don’t even try to bullshit me.”

“Ah, you’ve done your research. At least you’re an educated nuisance.”

“Takes one to know one, right?”

John laughed at that, fully willing to admit he had walked right into that setup. The laugh died in his throat when he saw a pillar of smoke rising from the woods, barely a two minute drive away.

Nicolette never drove a damn car in the valley unless it was absolutely necessary or she knew he was coming after her, so this was going to be fun. He was going to be the hunter for once. There was no way she had made it that far. He drove a few hundred more feet, turned the car off and got out. He fished out a couple of bliss bullets from his pocket he had been saving for just this occasion when he stopped in his tracks.

There she was, a matter of yards away, sneaking through the woods. The fact she had donned some oversized red hoodie in addition to those infuriatingly short shorts forced an amused scoff out of him. He had been the wolf to the Woodson’s three little pigs a while ago, and now here he was, ready to be the wolf to her Little Red Riding Hood. Oh, this would be fun. He made quick work of slipping into the treeline.

She hadn’t even sensed him. He had heard Jacob had started to notice her as of late. Maybe he’d whip her into shape. Or he’d end her- hardly a preferable option, but the fact that she was none the wiser to a threat was ridiculous. He made it within a few feet of her, timing his steps with hers just to add precaution against the noise.

She finally seemed to sense something off because she stopped in her tracks, scanned the treeline in front of her and opened her mouth to call out, and he lunged.

The pair of them went down hard, and he had half a mind to notice that he let his arm shoot out to take most of the impact before her head did- something to overanalyze later, he was sure.

She cried out and thrashed for a while until he came into focus, and the fight in her immediately dropped, and he was pretty sure he saw her roll her eyes. “Ugh. You.”

“Me. You know, you called this a game last time. Checkmate.”

“Can you just Bliss me, because I swear to God if I have to listen to you wax poetic one more time…”

He did enjoy her spirit. “Gladly.” He reached down, retrieved a bliss shell he had also held onto just in case the hunt took him to a place where the Deputy could get a hold of a shotgun- as it often did, and cracked it open at chest level. He blinked a few times, trying to rid his vision of the white spots that dotted it after a while.

She groaned again and before long, she went limp.

He hauled her to her feet then over his shoulder, stumbling for a couple of steps as he went. Fucking Bliss.

He made it back to his car, loaded her into the co-passenger seat (he’d rather risk her there than in the trunk) and drove back to his bunker.

When they made it, he shook her awake. “Come on now, sleeping on the job doesn’t bode well for you.”

She groaned again, then smacked his hands away. She looked around, then sighed at her surroundings, and then at the hood of his car. “You would have a Charger…” she muttered to herself.

He fought the urge to respond, then exited the car in order to pull her out of it. “Up and at ‘em.”

“I can walk,” she protested, making a weak- was that supposed to be stepping? - motion at his knee closest to her in order to keep him back.

“And how would that work for you? Vote of confidence for me to my people, having you walk with me around the grounds, but for Hudson? Imagine that, her own rescuer walking along casually.”

“Kind of hard not to tell I’m on Bliss right now.”

“You know that, I know that, but does she?”

She groaned. “Put your hands anywhere near my ass and I’m clawing your throat out.”

“I’ll be the perfect gentleman.”

“I doubt that,” she muttered, and then promptly went limp against him.

It was his turn to roll his eyes. He got her situated on his shoulder and headed inside.

She was going to be the death of him, he knew it.

He had unceremoniously dropped her into the chair he had put her in the last time. It had been ten minutes since, and he had given her arm a couple of whacks for good measure, but she was still out cold. Maybe she had just had a rough few days and her body needed the rest, considering he had barely dosed her. He had almost been tempted to go get the tattoo gun til he ruled that no, she needed to be awake for that. He wouldn’t have her atonement begin when she was unconscious and unaware. Another few minutes passed, and he was bored. He retrieved a bucket from one of the rooms nearby, filled it with water, came back and tossed the contents onto her.

She came to with a shriek. She looked around, shoved her hair out of her face, realized where she was and whose company she was in and deflated as much as she had when he had pinned her down in the woods.

John leaned back on the table. “So, here we are again, Little Red.”

She squinted at him, then looked thoughtful. “Right. The sweatshirt. Original.”

John merely smiled in response. “I’ll ask… again. Are you ready to confess, are you ready to say ‘yes’?”

She stared at him for a few seconds, and then laughed- nothing like the rough, sarcastic laugh he had been on the receiving end of from her many times.

He ignored her, figuring she was still finding her way out of the Bliss. It wouldn’t be the first time people had struggled with it, and the rude awakening probably didn’t help, but he did want to get things moving. “You’ve had your fun, you put up a good fight, but aren’t you tired?” he walked back over to the chair and put his hand on it, bending his arm at the elbow to loom over her.

She shrugged, still smiling. “Of this situation? No, not really. Of you? Yes.”

He brought his free hand to grip her throat. “Now, we’ve been over wrath… I’m sure you can think of something else you’re guilty of.”

She was laughing. Again.

He snarled and tightened his grip on her and she finally, finally flinched before scoffing again. “Problem, Deputy?” he asked.

“Yes, you are-”

“Pride,” he cut her off. “Wouldn’t have taken you for being prideful-”

“Thought you would’ve known I’m full of surprises by now,” she countered.

“I do. Now, if we can just get on with this. It’s just one word. And then you can tell me anything. Everything.”

“Wouldn’t that be more than one word?” she countered.

He tightened his grip again. “Do you really want to test me right now?”

She beamed again. “That’s… kind of part of the job description nowadays. Not my fault you let me get away with it.”

He forced himself up into her space, chest to chest, nose to nose. “You know, the people of this county see me as the crazy one. They should see you now, laughing away. Quit. Smiling. Confession is a serious matter. You’d do well to stop so I can say my piece. I am growing tired of your interruptions.”

She opened her mouth, mouth at a downward slant- to sass him back, no doubt- but then, damn it, that smile again. “Can’t say a full sentence just because I’m smiling? Oh, John- heh, do I distract you?”

He wanted that smile off her face. to rip her throat out. He wanted to strangle her. He wanted to… something. He inched forward again and tried not to look alarmed when she came back at him so their noses bumped. No one had the balls to push back that much when he pushed them. She was something. He realized how heavy he was breathing over nothing and went to look away- only to glance at her lips a half moment too long. How easy would it be to win this particular round, just by closing that particular distance- taste her, sate his curiosity, confuse the Hell out of her for once.

The radio in the opposite corner crackled to life. “John?”

He hissed and pulled back and stalked over to the radio. It was Owens, one of the dumbest people in his ranks. Of course he’d interrupt this. “What?! I’ve got the Deputy here, this better be good.”

“It’s Sharky Boshaw. He showed up at the Ranch, started burning the fields. It’s almost to the house.”

John tensed, then slammed his hand into the transmitter. “Then stop the fire, find him, and kill him!” he turned back to Nicolette. “Your boyfriend isn’t surviving the night,” he hissed, jabbing a finger in her direction. He tore out of the room and went to exit the bunker, taking the steps two at a time. He made it out, crossed to the top of the hill and looked out towards the ranch. Knowing Boshaw, the man would’ve been done as much damage as possible in a short time. But there were no smoke plumes- not even anything resembling a cloud in the sky. He hit the transmitter again. “Owens, what the fuck is going on?!”

“Hey there, John! Your buddy Owens can’t come to the radio right now on account of him being a touch dead!”

He’d recognize Sharky Boshaw’s grating voice anywhere.

To add insult to injury, the man practically cackled. “Man, what a trap that was. And you walked right into it. For a lawyer, you really are a dumbshit.”

John yelled out, then turned sharply and tore back into the bunker. He made it into the room he had Nicolette in, and naturally, she was gone. That’s what he got for trusting Bliss over her goddamn reputation. It was a mistake he wasn’t going to make again.

He went back outside, got up on one of the rocks that provided a decent vantage point of the surrounding area.

Sure enough, there she was, nothing but a red dot just before the horizon, headed east. Too far ahead to catch anytime soon on foot, and she’d be clear out of sniper rifle range if he went to go get one of his people or a gun himself.

She’d won. Again.

“That Nicolette?”

John nearly jumped at the voice that was suddenly beside him.

It was Nancy, the wolf in sheep’s clothing in the H.C.P.D that helped gift wrap the Sheriff and the Deputies’ arrival… but still seemed to root for them nearly equally than the Peggies themselves. She was wearing that same, angry-but-impressed look on her face that she usually got any time she heard about their antics. Of course, his own facial expression faltered when he realized his matched hers at that moment.

Nancy looked him up and down, stuck out one lip and nodded. “Told you you’d like her. Your secret’s safe with me.”

John nearly choked on his tongue and gave the woman an incredulous look as she headed back into the bunker like the conversation hadn’t happened. They had probably sent her to check on why the Hell he was running so fast before, and his heart pounded, wondering just what story she was going to give them.

Fucking Nancy.

He was about to go storming back into the bunker to do potential damage control sulk and figure out another plan, but then realized it was best if he headed home. Sure, the threat on the Ranch had been a ploy, Owens had probably been nowhere near the ranch, but now wherever he and Sharky had been, at least two of the biggest Resistance members knew he wasn’t there, and it was open for attack. He got into his car, floored the gas, and made it home within a few minutes.

After a few patrols of his own, he was finally satisfied no one was around aside from his own people. He went inside, dropped into the chair beside the radio in the great room and clicked the transmitter. “Oh Deputy…” he sing-songed.

“Miss me already, John?” she responded after a moment.

He couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at his lips. The very thing he had asked her minutes before he learned about the Tree Incident during her first escape. “I always miss you. I’m afraid this time it was literal. I’m just making sure you’re not stuck in a tree again.”

“Tree free.”

“Good. Shame, though. Would’ve enjoyed playing the hero again.”

“Mm-hm. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a few things to blow up in Jacob’s territory so we can finally be introduced.”

“Ah. Fair warning, dear, Jacob’s far less kind than I am. Do be careful when you pay my brother a visit. I never told you about what goes on in the mountains.”

“Oh?”

He flinched What the Hell was he doing, she was the enemy, the thorn in his side, the bane of his existence. “I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise. Just… do keep your wits about you. I’d hate to see that pretty little brain of yours focused on something else other than our time together.”

“Bye, John.”

“Goodbye, Deputy. Do make sure you come back to me.”

The radio was silent after that. He leaned back and shut his off. He hadn’t meant to extend the warning. She was interesting, but she was the enemy. Why the Hell had he done it? Why the Hell was he worried? Not about the situation but the Deputy herself? He swore under his breath. He needed to check himself and his vested interest in the woman. He glanced up when the door opened. He shoved the radio out of reach.

“Hey, Boss. Joseph’s coming up the road.”

Right, because things couldn’t possibly get worse- and he couldn’t be more torn about the entire situation at hand. He inhaled sharply and ran a hand through his hair and over his clothes to try to collect himself. Another time, Deputy. Another time.

“I’ll be out in a minute.”

#Anonymous #John Seed #John Seed x Deputy #Johnnic #Deputy Nic #SS writes

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cinnaminja · 6 years

Text

stripped (2) ; kim jongdae

Words: +1.5k

Genre: Angst

Rating: T

Warning(s): Language, Mentions of abduction

{ part one | part two }

[ A/N.- this was long overdue... this was only supposed to be a sequel but I think this turned into an accidental series. they will be a part three to this because I hate cliffhangers just like the rest of you probably do.

“Don’t cry again… I don’t like it when you cry. You’ll be fine with me! I’m a good person. I’ll be good to you. All you need to is—“ he leaned across toward me — “listen to me.”

The glint from our first meeting was now apparent in his eyes. You could see every bit of threat and emotion sparking intimidatingly. The warmth was gone. The friendliness was forgotten. The happy-go-lucky façade was stripped away to bare the core of sin.

This was Kim Jongdae.

It was strange seeing fear in a man that invoked fear. This was a sign of weakness and I wasn't sure if he knew it but if he did, he wasn't ashamed of showing it.

We had been standing in front of the door leading to his house for awhile now. His eyes were transfixed on the doorknob but he made no move to open it. He appeared to be pondering something extremely crucial as if whether he opened the door or not would alter his whole life. The hopeful side of me wished he was having an internal battle with his subconscious that guilt-tripped him for taking me against my will.

After what seemed like forever, Jongdae finally made up his mind and unlocked the door by punching in the passcode. I guessed he was back to his ironically cheerful self since he had gestured for me to go in first in a mock gentlemanly fashion; even so, I preferred this side of him over the raw and uncut version I witnessed earlier.

The inside was surprisingly well-kept. I wasn't sure what I was expecting from someone with a personality like a two-sided coin but it definitely wasn't a modern, warm looking environment full of pictures and souvenirs from different places. Two things I learned from Jongdae by surveying the interior was that he had money and that he had a solid social circle.

"Welcome to my humble abode," he said after he let me look around his living room. "I think we should go upstairs to my room because they might --"

"Jongdae, is that you?" A voice called from atop of the stairs.

An upbeat man with pink hair thundered down the steps with a visible frown that jutted out his bottom lip childishly. He wasn't aware of my presence yet judging at how he focused his attention onto Jongdae, who was now trying not to express how anxious he was feeling.

"Kim Jongdae, do you have any idea what I had to go through to cover your ass because that place you 'worked' at was hounding me over your sudden resignation?!" The pouty man exclaimed while throwing his hands up. "I had to make up the dumbest shit on the spot!! How they believed me I have no idea but for fuck's sake, at least warn me when you're gonna do something stupid!!"

My mouth was agape the entire time he spoke. Jongdae resigned from the place my dad worked at? I knew he was lying to me when he said that they let him out early for working hard but I had no idea he actually resigned.

"I'm sorry, Baek, I forgot," he side-eyed me as he replied to his friend's outburst.

'Baek' scoffed. "You better be. I could've thrown you under the bus and told them all about your creepy habits. You owe me BIG."

He turned on his heel, ready to walk away from him smugly, but he froze when he finally laid his eyes on me. He pointed straight at me and looked back and fort between me and Jongdae with shock evident on his face

"Who is... Is she... Did you -- oh my god," he stuttered. "It's her!"

"Yes now please tell me Minseok isn't here right now because if he is, you might want to lower your fucking voice so he doesn't find out."

He stared at me but directed his voice back at him. "He isn't here right now but you're so lucky he isn't"

I took a step back out of instinct when he approached me. Jongdae's friend assessed me from all angles and gave an approving nod.

"Keep your distance, Byun Baekhyun," Jongdae warned.

Baekhyun gave me a wide grin and stuck out his hand as if I was a guest in his home.

"Nice to meet you, Dae's lady, I'm one of Jongdae's best friends, Byun Baekhyun!" He leaned forward slightly, "Not to scare you or anything but you're screwed when Minseok gets here but don't worry! I got you and that loser's ass over there covered."

"Baekhyun"

I stared at his outstretched hand in thought. This guy was an accomplice to Jongdae's crime. He lacked common sense and a subconscious just like him and for some reason, I expected him to be as creepy as he was seeing that they lived together. The curling smirk, the shining eyes glinting with fake promises... it's no wonder that they got along so well. They were alike.

Suddenly I was afraid of the third person they mentioned. Would he be like them too?

"I'm not touching you," I hissed out.

Baekhyun retrieved his hand, placing it over his heart instead in faux hurt.

"Ouch! The queen bee stings! Dae didn't tell me you were a feisty one."

"You think I'd sit back and let you two fuck me over?" I glared at him. "I'm not like those girls in the movies. I refuse to throw myself at your feet."

Jongdae's gaze on me hardened. There was an unspoken threat swimming in his eyes and I was reminded of how he told me to 'behave' before he shoved me in his car.

Baekhyun on the other hand let out a hearty laugh.

"Oh man, this is amazing!" He wiped away his nonexistent tears. "You're definitely better than I was hoping for, I like you."

He held up two thumbs. "Welcome, new housemate"

Just as he said this, the beeping sound of the lock pad outside was heard from inside the house. Panic erased Baekhyun's grin and fear settled on Jongdae's face.

"Fun's over, we need to go upstairs," Jongdae rushed as he went to me and steered me to the staircase.

The pink fluffed man stopped him. "Wait, it's better if he knows now because I can't be there for you when he bursts in your room to clean sees the ladybug over there trying to climb out the window"

"Baek, please not now! Maybe in a few hours when he isn't so --"

"Isn't so what?"

All three of us turned to find a blond man dressed in a black-suited business outfit. His sharp eyes glanced between Jongdae and Baekhyun who was trying to shield me away from his view.

"Tired!" Baekhyun blurted out. "We know how tired you get from work so we wanted to get out of the way and let you relax."

The one called Minseok clutched his jacket in his hand. "That doesn't matter because I clearly see the woman cowering behind you two.

"I don't know what I was expecting to see when I got Baekhyun's text about how Jongdae resigned from his mediocre job, maybe Baekhyun half-dead with Jongdae trying to kill him but it sure wasn't another mouth to feed" -- he sighed -- "The two better explain why Jongdae's weird obsession is here before I make sure both of you are half-dead"

Baekhyun shoved the brunet forward, urging him to explain.

Jongdae cleared his throat. "You know that job was only a source to get more information about her. I found a chance to get this whole thing over with so I decided I didn't need to be there anymore."

Minseok crossed his arms. "Still doesn't answer what I asked you"

"I'm getting there," he said. "This is the result from that chance I took. You know how impatient I can get so I quit, followed her and then kidnapped her"

The intimidating blond took in his words as he focused his eyes on me. He did a mini assessment like Baekhyun did but how he raked his gaze over my figure made me feel minuscule and beneath him.

"I see"

"There are no bruises, I checked," Baekhyun spoke up. "Well um, except for her wrist..."

I held up my wrists and saw a ring of purple going around my right wrist. A deep sinking feeling pitted my stomach when I realized it was from when Jongdae dragged me out of the mall in his iron grip. The mark of his hand was imprinted on my skin.

"That's careless, Jongdae"

"She was fighting me," he mumbled.

Minseok rubbed his temples. "You don't hurt things you like, especially not people"

"...I know"

"Okay. Why don't we have dinner first and then we can talk about this mess?"

Baekhyun already made a bee line to the kitchen so he could avoid having to witness Minseok's silent rage. His voice was called, "What does the lady like?"

I stayed silent.

"I'm making whatever we have, okay? If she doesn't like it, don't kill me."

I grumbled. "What makes you think I'll eat?"

Jongdae glanced behind me. "You'll eat"

'...I guess I'll eat'

#exo imagines #exo scenarios #cinnaminja spice

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gossiplolly-blog · 6 years

Text

The World is Fucked 🌐

You don’t need to be a scientist or global warming expert to know that 7 billion people are going to have an effect on the planet.

The deforestation on a massive scale is clearly wiping out millions of wooden lungs. Surely that is agreed by everyone, unless you are the dumbest douche-nozzle alive?

Billions of cars, trucks, trains, ships, among other things like generators and fossil fuel addicted machinery are doing lots of bad, but nothing good to our atmosphere.

Plastic is killing our oceans and fish, which will most likely kill us eventually. They absorb it into their bodies on a microscopic level as well as in large chunks.

Have you seen the dead bodies of sea birds on the Pacific Islands? They’re Wandering Albatross, if my memory serves me correctly? They are full of fucking plastic, man. Imagine if we eat so much plastic that we literally starved to death because our stomach couldn’t hold any food. Yet we don’t do anything meaningful to stop it.

Then we’ve got the religious fanatics dishing out evil like they’re Caligula. What is wrong with these people? They’re even killing their own sort. Not like they care about the enemy. If you breathe you can be made to stop breathing. Absolute whack jobs.

How come the intelligentsia tell the gangsters that you need to be a good boy or girl and stop fighting one another. Yet it’s okay for politicians to be gangsters and go to war. What’s wrong with showing love instead of a bullet. Send Kim Jong Wrong a box of chocolates and ten-high class prostitutes. That should sort him out. Imagine the smile on his face?

Sounds like a daft idea, but, dude, the normal shit they tried for the last fifty years hasn’t been working, has it? Therefore, we need to try some new age shit that’s cheep and cheerful. Just imagine the headlines. Kim Dong Un goes on Jeremy Kyle USA.

The signs are on the wall, but instead we look at the carpet and pretend it hasn’t got dog shit rubbed into it. Heck, it’s like the caribou have migrated through the living room and we’re still watching Dancing With The Stars and haven’t even noticed one, even though it’s Christmas time and they look like fucking reindeer. “Honey, was that Rudolph?” “Don’t be so bloody stupid, Eric!”

There really isn’t much difference between the petrol sniffers and petrochemical polluting average Joe. Even if you don’t drive you’re most likely guilty of using a house full of oil-based products. You’d have to be a Neanderthal to live an oil-free life in 2017. Shit, even they had oil, but animal ones are relatively harmless in comparison.

In summary: the world is fucked and has been for a long time. It’s going to be fucked for a long, long time, unless the future has something different in store. Peace. Pussy. Chocolates. 🎂

It’s the only hope we have in unfucking the unfuckable.

#GlobalWarming #Deforestation #TheWorld #TheGlobe #PlanetEarth

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dialogfetzen · 7 years

Text

Min Yoonji hated school, hated the world, but today it was extremely bad.

Huddled together on a bed in the schools sickroom, a not-so-hot-water bottle pressed to her lower abdomen, Yoonji felt like dying.

Her painkillers refused to do their magic and her water bottle wasn't hot enough to simply burn the horrendous pain away, so all she could do was sit around and play on her phone, making a suffering sound every now and then when the cramps got especially hard to bear.

At least she was alone in the sickroom (ignoring the grumpy school nurse), so nobody could see her weak like this.

No need for pretending to be all tough when her abdomen is punishing her for her disinterest in reproduction.

Her cramps were especially horrible today, probably thanks to her mothers weird kharma, who just yesterday held one of her speeches why Yoonji at least should try to have some interest in boys since one of them could be a rich CEO in a few years and she better prepares for her future and her children now than later.

Yoonji shudders, remembering the useless talk they had and the endless talks that are going to come in the future...

„Excuse me.“

Yoonji looks up as she hears a familiar voice, taking a peek between the white curtains that separates each bed to see Kim Army standing there, telling the nurse that she's feeling unwell.

The school nurse looks at Army like she isn't buying it – and Yoonji has to admit that Army is doing a shitty job at acting here -, but the nurse agrees on letting Army rest anyway.

Army throws herself on one of the beds as if she owns the place, ignoring Yoonji like she doesn't know her and taking out her phone.

That kinda hurt?

Not that she and Army were particularly close now, it's been only that one incident were Yoonji had helped Army with her weird boyband pillow and a few shared lunches under the stairs, when they both found nobody to sit with during their breaks and it was too awkward to eat alone.

Maybe Yoonji was just overly sensible thanks to her mood swings that came with her period and that's why she kind of felt betrayed. She never had mood swings before, but that was the only reasonable explanation here. There's no way in hell she actually cared for someone at school, and even less while not being on the receiving end. No way.

With a tiny pout on her lips, Yoonji goes back to playing with her own phone, refusing to accept that she was sad.

A few minutes pass, as Army suddenly point her finger at Yoonji with a surprised “Ah! You!”, her face brightening up with a very dumb and absolutely not super adorable smile when she realizes that she's sharing the sickroom with Yoonji.

Yoonji was quick to cover up her heart making a jump in her chest with a lazy wave of her hand, trying to be as bored and unhappy about the company as possible.

Mood swings. It had to be mood swings.

“Why are you here?” Army asks, but as soon as she sees the hot-water bottle she nods with pity in her eyes.

“Strawberry weeks?”

“What?”

“You know.... that time of the month?”

Yoonji looks at Army with disbelieve in her eyes, baffled everytime Armys uses her weird alien language.

“Yes, strawberry week, but I would be okay by now already if I just could get a hot-water bottle with actually hot water!” Yoonji explains, raising her voice so that the school nurse could hear it.

“I am sorry to hear that it's this bad for you. I hope you feel better soon. Luckily I don't feel any pain at all during that time, so I actually have no idea what you're going through, but I imagine it's horrible!” Army explains, looking at Yoonji like she only has a few hours left to live.

“What, it's not that bad, I can take a bit of pain- wait, you don't have any cramps at all?”

Army shakes her head with a satisfied smile.

“Guess your weird hormone balance is good for something in the end.” Yoonji mutters under her breath, trying to look unbothered when a new wave of pain is trying to kill her from inside.

“What are you trying to say? If it's that I'm ugly, you should come up with something new.” Army says unimpressed, scrolling through something on her phone.

Great Min Yoonji, great. You did it once again.

“No, that's not what I meant,” Yoonji tries to save her thoughtless comment, sitting up straight to show that she's sincere about it. “I was talking about your height and – oh god I think I have to puke.”

She suddenly felt hot, started to sweat while her throat tightens in attempt to keep inside what tries to climb up.

The school nurse walks up to them, annoyance clearly visible in her face. “This is a sickroom and you're here for resting, not for babbling. If you feel better, you are free to go back to your classes.” she says, letting her eyes rest especially long on Army, who stares at Yoonji who constantly gets paler and paler, having a hard time to breath.

“I'm serious, I have to puke” she weakly says, trying to suppress the first gagging reflexes until the nurse quickly shoves a bucket into her hands.

From that moment on, everything went down.

Suddenly there were several voices that weren't there before, rushed movements around the whole room, a burning sour taste in her mouth she gladly threw up into the bucket, more voices, and suddenly- silence, just a shy, large hand carefully stroking her back.

“Are you done?” Army asks Yoonji after she finally sits up again, faintly nodding as an answer.

Her throat is on fire and tears are rolling down her cheeks. This was definitely not how she wanted to be seen by anyone, especially not Kim Army.

“Where is the nurse?” Yoonji asks as she tries to calm down, wiping away every sign of her weak moment with trembling hands. God, how she hated life right now.

“She had to head off to the sports hall because it seems like some students crashed together during PE. I hope it's Soohyun or someone else from my class!” Armys answers, her eyes beaming with excitement while getting rid of the bucket Yoonji just gagged into.

Yoonji can't hide a smile at that, amused by how much the hope of an injured classmate can light up Armys face.

“May I ask why you are here? You look fine to me” Yoonji asks after a while, now reminded that Army had a class to attend to instead of keeping her company in the sickroom.

“Our PE teacher is sick and our replacement teacher just let's us play some ballsports” Army answers matter of fact, like it's completely obvious that of course she would stay in the sickroom then.

“Ballsports? What, are you allergic to that or what?” Yoonji asks, not even trying to hide the mockery in her voice.

Army looks down onto her hands, her mind clearly somewhere else again.

(Ok wow, she really had long but slender, delicate hands. Yoonji feels like reaching out to them for no apparent reason, just holding them to compare the size difference or something.

Must be her mood swings, yes. They obviously got the better of her again.)

“Dodgeball.” Army answers suddenly, still trying her best to look like it's no big deal.

“We all always play dodgeball when our teacher is sick and, you know, I'm tall and clumsy and an easy target, so I try to avoid that classes as often as I can” she adds, smiling like it can't be helped.

Rage immediately flares up in Yoonjis chest, having no hard time to imagine how the other girls picked on Army with every given chance.

“And the teacher is doing nothing?!” she asks, the cramps and the acid feeling in her throat forgotten for the moment.

Army just shrugs her shoulders, offering a quick smile like she's sorry for the things others do to her.

With a heavy sigh Yoonji lays down on the bed, ready to die as the cramps start again. School is surely a toxic, rotten place and no environment to grow up in.

“Should I refill your bottle with hot water? I know an electric kettle close by.” Army offers and Yoonji suddenly feels like the world maybe wasn't that bad as long as it contained weird but lovely Kim Army – and an actually hot-water bottle.

With a relieved, begging nod Yoonji gives her the bottle - as three of Armys classmates enter the sickroom in their sports wear, two of them crying, one of them with blood all over her face.

Yoonji grins with satisfaction as her eyes meet Armys, who's just as happy as her to see the misery on the other girls.

“I can't believe they are such retards, can't they look where they're going?” the girl who's crying asks while she's helping the bleeding girl to not ruin her clothes.

Taking a closer look, it probably wasn't as bad as Yoonji had hoped, just some nose bleeding.

“It's all her fault” the bleeding one hisses and takes a bitter look at Army, like she indeed had punched her in the face. Army though didn't reply, just sat down on Yoonjis bed and ignored them, clearly satisfied enough with one of them being hurt.

But Yoonji wasn't taking shit.

“What's your fucking problem? She was here the whole time.” Yoonji shouts, sitting up and staring at the three on the other bed.

“If she would've been in class like everyone else instead of skipping PE, we would have played in our usual teams and this wouldn't have happened.”

“Yes, sure” Yoonji deadpans, but unfortunately it hadn't the offending effect that she had hoped for, though the one with the nosebleed started to cry again, demanding to know what the school nurse is taking so long.

“What do you know? You're not even in our class, you have no idea how it is to suddenly join a team with a bunch of idiots.” one of the girls replies matter of fact while stroking through the hair of the girl who's crying, trying to calm her down.

“Yeah, playing against them is one thing, but being in the same team with those morons is something completely different.” the other one adds, obviously up for a fight.

Yoonji frowns as Army takes out her phone to distract herself, clearly not missing the subtile insults. “This is the dumbest excuse for being shitty at sports that I ever heard in my entire life” she replies while moving closer to Army, not surprised to see her scrolling through some photos of boys with way too much make up on.

“Why are you siding with that ugly beanpole anyway?”

Something in Yoonji snapped, Without any second thought she grabs the waterbottle from Armys grip, gets up and slaps it into the girls face.

“What the-? You can't hit me with a water bottle?!” the girl claims with a shrill voice, staring at Yoonji with wide eyes, unable to believe what just had happened.

“You prefer my fists then?” Yoonji offers, holding them up to prove that she gladly would use them if that was what the other girl wanted, but was unfortunately interrupted.

“Min Yoonji! Leave immediately!” the school nurse shouts with a warning tone in her voice as she enters the sickroom, leaving no space for discussion while guiding another girl in, who clearly had seen better days as well.

Yoonji grabs Armys hand at that, hot-water bottle tucked under her arm, leaving the sickroom with satisfied steps.

“You're so cool!” Army says in awe the second they're on the hallway and Yoonji can't help but smile, quickly looking away. “You think so?”

“Of course! I should have filmed how you slapped her with that water bottle, that was awesome!!” Army answers with excitement in her voice, slowly interlacing their fingers. “Where are we going now?”

Yoonji takes a quick glance at their hands, trying to block out all the answers she wants to say now but better shouldn't.

“You said you know where to find and electric kettle, right?”

Whatever consequences may await her for her behaviour, all she had done was clearly because of her mood swings. Or at least that was going to be her excuse.

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dwestfieldblog · 7 years

Text

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY AMORAL COMPASS

Back from a couple of weeks from the island...I managed to avoid watching any TV news whatsoever, but of course ended up going through a daily paper to catch up up the unfolding nightmares...The easy stuff first...the greeting phrase 'Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen' is no longer acceptable to use as an address to passengers on the London Underground...because of 'belonging to yesterday' and might be construed somehow as offensive to those with sex changes and those who are undetermined as to their gender. It has been substituted with 'Good morning everyone'. Hmm. Surely after having thought long and hard (arf) about about penis removal, vaginal implants and oestrogen supplements and the male right to wear female clothes OR vice versa etc etc, one would be HAPPY to be called that which the individual truly felt themselves to be? Political correctness is a soul numbingly ridiculous conceit which will lead to total destruction of sanity and will only breed deeper mistrust and hatreds among dangerous idiots. And a sense of misplaced righteous pride among those who seek to fill their time with utterly empty causes.

If you are a bisexual woman, you are a female. If you are a masculine lesbian, you are a female, If youare a cross-dressing man, you are a male in touch with your feminine side. If you are a homosexual man who takes the more 'submissive' role, you are a gay male.Etc etc. If you are pre Op, you are the sex your heart tells you you are, male or female. If you are a human being who could take actual offence at being called a lady or a gentleman, you are a moron.Well, then again, who likes being pigeon-holed eh?Arf. Next....

Brexit will apparently cost 36 billion pounds, WELL worth it eh? We will just have to print more notes on plastic paper. Every penny helps...and at least G.B got 3.5 billion quid from selling arms to Saudi Arabia, so we will only be morally bankrupt. Britain on the hunt for more useful cheap deals includes Chlorine dioxide washed chickens from the always healthy USA. Dr Fox of our government blustered that Americans have been eating such for years and there is nothing wrong with them... Ermmmm...Hmmm...Eventually we will find that Fox ends up on the board of chicken exporters. No puns needed. It's all foul:-) (Fowl, geddit?) How much of the imported chicken is real anyway? Pumped with water and antibiotics...Mc Donalds continue to advertise that their burgers are 100percent cow. Yes...hooves, tails, entrails and eyeballs all. But at least they are being truthful eh? Let's hope the politicians in the pay of Monsanto are the first to discover their grandchildren are born with three arms. (Or more likely, they only eat the expensive foods not imported for the proletariat.)

Speaking of antibiotics... the English newspapers were full of the 'new' idea that now, perhaps, maybe, people should not finish their course of such pills when they feel better. In direct contradiction to the accepted usual doctor's warning to take the full box/es to make sure. The building of resistance is growing. Another story mentioned that the regular drinking of alcohol can stave off future diabetes...I am only just starting to think (yes I am this slow) that doctors haveno real feckin idea about some basics, even after centuries of experiments on human white mice.

Meanwhile...Wu Xialou the three foot Chinese robot now in use, which can create arrest warrants and approve indictments...'Case management robots'...love the way they almost look friendly. Not long before Robocop is a reality. And AI goes all Terminator on us.

'When people who can read and write start fighting on behalf of people who can't, you just end up with another kind of stupidity. If you want to help them, build a big library or something somewhereand leave the door open'. T.P

So, one more time for the world...thrill at the possibilities of existence...

www.halexandria.org/home.htm

Meanwhile again, 'various' countries continue to respond to threats they themselves created in order to justify their heinous actions. Hello to Turkey, North Korea, Russia, the USA and...well,most countries have been doing this for a while. History is full of messianic little men with complexes wanting to make their country great. Hello Nero, Napoleon, Hitler, Stalin, Blair, Putin and Trump. How tall is Erdogan? Or the next guy...The Pilsbury Dough Boy/Kim Wrong Un has been rejoicing over his North Korean penis missile now being able to reach 6,200 miles. Hello America. Duck Fart's rhetoric matches Chairman Cheese's bizarre rants for rant. Little dogs like to make noise. 'Fire and fury' indeed. Yap yap yap, have them put down. (Using only sarcasm and satire of course. Wouldn't want the NSA to think I meant such admirable leaders should be shot like rabid canines. No sir.)

Referring to the situation, a spokesman for the Chinese government was quoted as saying; 'The man with nothing to lose does not fear the man with something to lose'. AKA'The barefoot man does not fear the man with no shoes'.

Donald actually referred to global warming as being a hoax invented by China. No, not fake news. Safe in a world where every president is as paranoid as the people.

POTUS/DOOFUS...arf...I saw a documentary last week which reminded me that good old boy President Nixon (a very honest guy) used to speak of himself often in the third person, just like Duck Fart continues to do. Draw your own conclusions on the wall in blood graffiti. But now, after many workplace postings of those 'absolutely qualified' to do their jobs and who, a few weeks later were sacked for following the law, or believing in their own importance more than paying obeisance to the president, the White House is now full of generals...(an 'axis of adults' as it has been described)... So, things are looking up eh? Obviously the world is far safer in the hands of those directly connected to the military industrial complex who follow the orders of a mentally unbalanced gurning egomaniac. And as for his plan to work with Russia on a 'cyber security unit'...'Not the dumbest idea I have ever heard, but it's pretty close', as a member of the Senate's armed services committee said. Yup.

Watch closely for his reactions to Russia's imminent massive wargames.... 100,000 soldiers to be in play on the Eastern side...Is this whereFinland, Estonia et al are invaded to protect the holders of Russian passports?

'There is nothing better than an external threat to keep everyone focused in the wrong direction'.

My last blog had wrong information, (aka; 'alternative facts') courtesy of Russian sources being quoted in the Western press, it seems that the Daesh death cult leader Baggy Daddy is still alive. Would have thought he was looking forward to fast track paradise but it appears that clinging to the desert like an infectious sand tick and having sex with kidnapped under aged girls is more preferable. Better luck next time says the unsmiling peace monger.

A true shame on Hindus in India for false accusations, leading to actual murder against Moslems for being rude in various ways to cows. Yes, yum yum cows. The killers have had no punishment whatsoever. Legal terms of imprisonment for killing a cow can be from 5 to 14 years (very reasonable eh?...whereas manslaughter can be 2 years. Nice to see a country who gave the world Yoga have such a balanced perspective.) The world expects this crap from other mainstream religions, not you.

Another TV reality show bites the big one...Eden. Paradise Lost...23 people (of course) agreed to be put into the Scottish highlands with the most basic tools, enough food for first 100 days. Of course they divided up fast into male/female Alphas/ Betas/Lord of the Flies factions and imploded fast into dire horribleness. If the future of our beautiful planet is to be decided/populated by those types who wantto be on television, we are absolutely fecked. Fecked is the mystery word tonight...it avoids me having to pretend to be polite and use asterisks, whilst retaining the clear meaning. It has appeared due to me watching a great interview with Cillian Murphy.

Sherlock or Homeland,Boardwalk Empire, House of Cards, Peaky Blinders, Taboo,or Billions,better and better TV series, at last, great acting, direction and scripts, some real intelligence on television to balance the mass culture of dumbing down via the conspiracy of counter-evolution. But just maybe....

'Good and bad are fairy tales, we have evolved to attach an emotional significance to what is nothing more than the survival strategy of the pack animal'. We are conditioned to attach divinity to utility... good isn't really good, evil isn't really wrong...'The Holmes sister...

And now a long quote by a dead American genius, circa 1982.

‘’People are just not accustomed to excellence because, when you go to school you are not given the criteria by which to judge between quality this or quality that. All they do is teach you just enough to be some kind of a slug in a factory, to do your job so you can take home a pay check, and consume some other stuff that someone else makes. The thing that separates Americans apart from the rest of the cultures in the world is we're so fukcing stupid. This country's been around for a couple hundred years and we think we're hot shit...we don't even realise that other countries have thousands of years of history and culture and they're proud of it, and when we deal on an international level with foreigners in policy...they must laugh up their sleeves at us because we are nothing. We are culturally nothing. We're only interested in the bottom line. And I think that a country that doesn't do something to sustain its culture, whatever it is, doesn't invest in it, doesn't keep it happening, isn't proud of it,maybe they just shouldn't exist, because its the culture and the beautiful things a society produces, those are the things which should survive for thousands of years, not the designer jeans.’’

Something almost normal, (for a change)...In the last blog I wrote that magpies sound like Edgard Varese...having spent a couple of weeks doing gardening in England, I will alter to that 'they sound exactly like a wire rake being scraped across concrete'. Check it out after you have spent an hour cutting down a ten foot hedge......

'the main object of the ego's desire to separate from the wave is to avoid death'

Walking around the streets and watching, sitting at home catching up on the newspapers...If Britain ever has to fight a war with soldiery again, we are surely doomed. There is a hollow which has been created in my country in the last few decades, an energy lost. Teach Bravery, Morality and determination at schools. The mass are hypnotised and malleable. Perhaps the freezing shower of Brexit will result in some type of revolution but we have undermined ourselves and are naked, wide open and powerless to be taken total advantage of...by both our former allies as well as our genuine enemies.

Getting closer to the future of serotonin, noradrenalin and dopamine in newborns to determine their predilection to becoming criminals/ rebels/ sociopaths/ musicians etc. By 2023 don't be surprised if your baby is taken away for longer than normal and injected with extra balanced goodness at the same time as being implanted. A brave new world, right around the corner...Mind you (arf) most of us could do with more serotonin, might just make us evolve into better human beings...Speaking of which/witch....

www.RAWILLUMINATION.NET

Have fun, you astral kids...23 skiddoo and all hail Discordia....

How am I? Thank you for asking...I now have a new health problem to go with the six others...at some point all of them will make themselves felt at the same time as a new depression and I will do the holy deed (not a joke or a cry for help, just calmly factual) but not just yet. 37 songs recorded so far in 12 five hour sessions...I have decided on one more session of recording to finish the two double cds, plus an extra cd of strange things and am doing the next book while there is 'time'. Apparently, I am a 'romanticist' and 'libertarian'. Loved the way the first epithet was used in a very negative way by a religious pragmatist.I am just optimistic enough to believe that human entropy can be avoided...the pessimist occasionally wonders if extinction is also a type of evolution. Dancers on a postcard to the unusual address...Deliver us from evil, for WE are the power and the glory.

'I remember when all this will be again'.

Lucid Dreaming in the Sky with ....Maybe a lover losing control, maybe the moonlight of alcohol. Maybe the temple of a mystic cabal, maybe the muse of a young femme fatale..

.Holy days over...time to go back to school...bunk off and self educate...it never did me no harm eh? See you after the autumnal equinox...Love. Love more.

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arcanakrp-blog · 7 years

Photo

KIM JOON – STRENGTH. AGENT 08.

[ FILE TYPE: CLASSIFIED ]

//: LOADING PROFILE: KIM JOON ...

international age: 24 birthplace: seoul, south korea arcana: strength team number: six

//: LOADING MUTATION: FERAL MIND ...

application one: hunting intuition — Joon possesses an enhanced instinct/talent for hunting and tracking down prey people to capture and/or kill. In terms of missions, he is able to use this to track targets down if necessary, and it is also extremely helpful in noticing the behaviors, patterns, and weaknesses of targets.

application two: anger empowerment — Joon has the ability to gain strength from his anger. When he is angry, he becomes stronger, faster, and more durable than he would be otherwise. However, this is also his most dangerous state as he has very little control over it and is quickly overwhelmed causing him to enter an animistic state where he has no control over his actions

application three: enhanced instincts — He possesses stronger than normal instincts, primarily in terms of predatory instincts like in hunting and in battle, however, it can be applied to other areas of life on occasion. Joon is able to process situations differently, although not necessarily more logically, and instinctively choose the most successful move

overall strengths and weaknesses: — He has always been good in a fight, but with the addition of his enhanced instincts and strength he has become even better, as long as he can keep his cool. He’s able to quickly pinpoint weaknesses in opponents and use them to his advantage. He has also learned to rely more on his instincts in combat than pure logic and strategy, but he still struggles to trust himself entirely due to the unpredictability of his other abilities.

Joon’s strength is a blessing and a curse. Essentially, the stronger Joon becomes the less control he has. If he is able to keep his anger to a reasonable level is able to control himself and his strength, however, once he reaches a certain point, he is no longer able to control himself or his actions and is reduced to almost an animistic state. He is unable to differentiate between friend and foe and will instinctively attack anyone or anything that crosses his path. When in this state, he is an incredible force to be reckoned with, but he is also unpredictable, which makes it difficult to harness in missions. This is not a state he typically enters willingly and it is used as a means of maximum destruction as opposed to a mission that requires tact and subtlety. Entering this animalistic state is very draining and leaves Joon exhausted. This can last anywhere from hours to days depending on how long he was out of it. At the time, Joon is unable to control his thoughts or actions, however, when he has calmed down again, he is able to remember everything he did while out of control, for better or worse.

Despite being a one-man wrecking crew, Joon’s abilities have also made him a natural in reconnaissance. Before Joon gained a relative amount of control over his anger and was more of a liability on missions than an asset, he spent a fair amount of time honing his reconnaissance skills from the ARC. Hunting intuition and enhanced instincts pair together extremely well and make it very difficult for people to evade/hide from Joon. He’s able to physically track targets while also being able to remotely analyze movements and make reasonable predictions about what their next move may be, however, this is more difficult to do and is never an absolute guarantee since people can move unpredictably at times and their instincts could conflict with Joon’s, or as he says, they’re wrong

//: LOADING HISTORY ..

PRE-MUTATION

Joon was fairly neutral. He wasn’t particularly good or bad, smart or dumb, but that didn’t stop him from getting into trouble for the dumbest shit. He spent his high school years partying, getting into fights, and running from the cops for the most part quite successfully, but when it came time for him to grow the fuck up and get a life, he hadn’t exactly garnered the greatest reputation. Luckily, Joon was good with his hands and had spent his summers restoring an old car long forgotten in his grandfather’s garage which was just enough to land him a job as a mechanic. It paid enough to secure him a shitty studio apartment a few blocks away from the shop and still have enough left over to go out to grab a beer with his friends a couple times a week and not starve to death, so Joon couldn’t complain. Actually, he could complain and did very often about the shitty plumbing and being bored to tears changing oil all day, but he also didn’t care enough to try to change it, so he got over it.

Old habits die hard, sometimes not at all if you’re Joon, which is why he found himself smoking outside a bar while holding a cold beer to his eyebrow to prevent it from swelling when the meteor shower started. It was the burden of being the biggest guy in any given bar; someone always had something to prove and trying to fight Joon seemed to be the most common way to go about it. Unfortunately for them, Joon wasn’t one to discourage violence and shutting people down in the form of broken noses just so happened to be one of his favorite hobbies. He wasn’t usually one to start fights, but he did love to finish them. Stars were a rarity in Seoul with all the light pollution from the city and it was even rarer to see a meteor shower. For a moment, Joon wondered if he had been hit harder than originally thought, but once he was sure he wasn’t seeing things, he instantly began digging in his pockets for his phone to text his friends to come out and see. He didn’t even have a chance to unlock his screen before a flash of light filled the sky blinding him. It could have been seconds or minutes, he couldn’t tell, but by the time Joon’s eyes could focus again, he decided that the stars could go fuck themselves and went back inside without telling anyone about what he had just seen.

POST-MUTATION

Joon didn’t dream, and if he did, it wouldn’t be about driving off into the woods to find some meteor, which is probably why it felt like each and every detail of it was seared into his brain. He could feel the ground beneath his feet and the way his jacket sleeves caught on branches as he wove his way towards where some dream instinct told the meteor should have landed. When he woke up that morning, he could have sworn he could still smell the dirt and trees surrounding him, but the reality of waking up in his shitty studio apartment in Seoul told him he was losing his mind.

The change in Joon wasn’t immediate. It was a slow burn of splintered door jambs, a dented steering wheel, and countless coffee cups martyred against thin apartment walls. He blamed it on stress, work or whatever, until he couldn’t even pretend to lie to himself like that anymore. A dead end, 9 to 5 job can drain the life out of you, but he was pretty sure it didn’t do this. The smallest things would send a swell of rage red hot and alive through his veins until Joon’s entire body trembled and all he could hear was the sound of his blood rushing through his ears. Looking back, it was a miracle he kept it together for as long as he did, even if it was a bit pathetic by any other standards.

The first time he lost control it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, thankfully. By that time, he had already stopped hanging around crowded clubs in favor of small bars tucked away in alleys and back streets where he could safely keep human contact to a minimum. All it took was a look and Joon was seeing red. His brain seemed to shut off losing control of his body and any thoughts that didn’t involve destroying anything he could get his hands on. Unfortunately, he got his hands on pretty much everything by the time the police got there, but by then, he had managed to calm down enough to not want to tear them limb from limb, and for the first time in his life, Joon went them willingly. The entire fight, if you could even call it that, was stuck on repeat playing over and over again in his mind. He could remember the screams and the feeling of their bones snapping under his fists, in his palms, but worst of all, he could remember the terrifying satisfaction it all had brought him. Joon had never been weak, but he had never felt so strong in his entire life. He had also never felt so out of control or as helpless as he did in the back of that squad car. That was the moment Joon began realizing he had become a monster.

They tested him for every drug under the sun, it was the obvious explanation for what he had done, and when they came back negative no one was entirely positive what to make of it. Regardless, multiple instances extensive of property damage and assault were more than enough to put Joon away for a couple of months. He didn’t even last a week. Turns out everything about prison pisses Joon off in the worst way and news of an inmate cracking cement walls and fracturing steel doors because someone made eye contact with him in the cafeteria traveled fast in the right circles. The Collective came to collect him in a matter of days.

He went with them under the guise that he was being transferred to a higher security facility; not that it particularly mattered, no one was putting up a fight for Joon to stay after the chaos he had caused in only a couple days. They promised to help him learn to control himself. They called it his “ability” like it wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen to him, and they were ready when he flew across the table with clenched fists and fire in his eyes. They made their offer as if “no” had ever been an option for Joon, as if there was still a place for someone like him out in the world. He knew they all knew better than that, but at least they had the decency to pretend. The promise of a hefty paycheck didn’t hurt either.

Joon was one of the first of the Arcana to be found, subtlety wasn’t exactly a part of his skill set, but he was relieved to see he wasn’t the only one who had recently become a time bomb. He learned to cope, somewhat, with the cards he had been dealt in the following months and years and began to realize it wasn’t all bad. He eventually reached a point where he could be around people again without the fear of breaking at any second; he still teeters on the edge of disaster nearly every day, but he has become a bit better at managing it. Once he began to level out, Joon realized that his strength and rage weren’t all that he had gotten that day and began working on improving his other abilities with much more success

#arc.app #arc.strength #fc.park chanyeol

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