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nebulous-frog · 6 years

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The Prince and His Helper Ch. 3 (Finale)

Summary: Dan and Phil work together at Disney World. Dan is Prince Eric’s handler, and, well, let’s just say you never see Phil and Prince Eric in the same place at the same time. Dan really likes Phil. He’s been known to get a little jealous at the most idiotic of times, but his heart’s in the right place.

Part One Part Two

Word count: 11,382 (this chapter- 17,212 overall)

Rating: G

Warnings: Some swearing, food mentions

Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, First Date

Author’s Note: It's finally here! Thank you so much for your patience :) Massive thank-you to @imnotinclinedtomaturity, without whom this fic probably wouldn't exist and it certainly wouldn't be this good.

Link to AO3 Fics Masterlist

Dan was really excited.

He was on his way to Phil’s actual house to pick Phil up for an actual date.

Dan was about to go on a date with a Disney prince and real-life angel named Phil. How his heart hadn’t yet fallen out of his ass from the sheer power of emotion, Dan wasn’t sure. Phil was literally Dan’s ideal man. And Phil had agreed to go on a date with him. As excited as Dan was, he was equally filled with anxiety at everything that could go wrong.

Don’t fuck it up, Dan.

On the drive over to Phil’s house, Dan worried that he had somehow gotten the wrong address, or that his phone’s GPS had sent him the wrong way, or that he’d be late to pick Phil up, or that Phil would have already left his house and moved back to England.

It was ridiculous, honestly, but Dan couldn’t help it. He really wanted this date to work out.

Every red light added to his stress. He kept glancing at the little clock in his car, watching the minutes pass. He was supposed to pick Phil up at 7am sharp, but the time ticked closer and closer, and Dan felt like he wasn’t getting anywhere closer to Phil’s house anytime soon. His nerves grew with every second that passed, and he found himself chewing on his lip in anticipation. He had done his best to leave his house with time to spare, but now that he was actually en route, he wasn’t sure he’d made it out the door in time.

He’ll be so disappointed if I’m late. Dan the Fuck-Up, as usual, can’t even be bothered to make it to a date on time. Classic-

“Arrived,” said the mechanical voice on Dan’s phone, interrupting Dan’s spiral of thoughts.

Dan pulled over in front of a small house. It looked like it might have been white, but Dan couldn’t be sure in the faint early morning light.

He anxiously checked the clock again. It was 7:06.

Bloody typical.

Phil had told Dan to text when he arrived, saying it would be easier than knocking on the door and waking up Phil’s housemates and suffering their persistent teasing. Dan didn’t waste any time grabbing his phone from the passenger’s seat and texting Phil. He didn’t want Phil to have to wait any longer than he already had.

Dan: im here

Phil’s response came within seconds, startling Dan.

He responded so fast, he must have been waiting. Dammit, Dan, why are you always late?! He’s probably mad about it.

He took a deep breath and opened the message.

Phil: gr8 gimme 2 secs i’ll b right there

Dan let out the breath he had been holding. Phil wasn’t mad. At least, Dan assumed so, since Phil said he was coming.

Nervously, Dan’s hands began dancing and tapping randomly on the steering wheel of his car.

He’s coming. Oh my god, the date is about to start. Oh my god.

He looked outside the window, anxiously watching the door of the house- but then he looked away to look at the road because watching the door meant actively waiting for Phil to exit his house, which was stressful in itself because it made him think about how much time was passing and how much time Phil had to change his mind and decide not to come on the date after all.

This date has to be perfect. If it’s not perfect, he won’t want to go on another date and you’ll end up alone and sad.

Dan noticed his leg was bouncing erratically from the nerves and forced himself to take a breath.

It’ll be okay. He wanted to go with you this time, so he clearly must like something about you. Just chill out.

Suddenly, the door to the house opened and Phil stepped out, turning and locking it behind him.

The nerves struck Dan again as Phil approached, manifesting in even more intense finger tapping. Phil’s hair was quiffed up off his forehead, and Dan ached to run his fingers through it. He wore a red plaid shirt, well-fitted to his broad shoulders and making his biceps pop. His black skinny jeans had rips in the knees, giving him a bit of an edgy aesthetic that Dan knew didn’t reflect Phil’s true nerdy, kind personality. Dan was intimidated as hell by Phil’s appearance. How could he look so put-together this early in the morning?? It literally was not fair, and Dan felt inadequate in his own ripped black skinny jeans and cherry blossom button-up. His leg started to vibrate again, and he rolled his eyes at himself.

Get it together, Dan.

They made eye contact through the windscreen, and Phil flashed Dan one of his absolutely adorable smiles. Dan’s heartbeat picked up even more at the sight, and he managed a small smile in return.

He’s so perfect.

Phil arrived at the passenger door and pulled the handle. The door didn’t open. Phil shot Dan a confused look through the window. His brows were furrowed, and there was a cute little wrinkle in the middle of his forehead. Phil pulled the handle again, then pouted up at Dan. His bottom lip was sticking out, and his eyebrows were lifting.

What? Why isn’t it ope- Oh.

Dan sheepishly flipped the “unlock” switch on the control panel next to his arm, then motioned for Phil to try again. This time, it worked, and Phil slid into the seat with a cheeky smile.

“And here I thought you were excited for this date,” Phil teased lightheartedly.

Shit! Now he thinks I don’t want this!

“No!” Dan exclaimed loudly, eyes wide and hands reaching out as if to grab Phil’s arm and keep him in the car.

Phil blinked, tilting his head to the side and furrowing his brow. Clearly, Dan had confused him again.

Dan winced at his own unending awkwardness, then backpedaled to try to salvage the conversation that had barely even begun, god, get it together, Dan.

“I am really excited for this date, Phil, you have no idea,” he began, refusing to look at Phil. “I’m just also really nervous-”

Phil’s giggle interrupted the beginnings of a rant that surely would make Dan feel much worse. “I’m kidding! I know you’re excited,” Phil laughed.

The fondness in Phil’s voice caused Dan to cautiously look at Phil out of the corner of his eye.

Sure enough, the fondest of smiles graced Phil’s lips. Dan could feel himself blushing, and he hoped Phil wouldn’t notice (but he was sure the color on his cheeks was glaringly obvious).

Slowly, Phil reached a tentative hand out to one of Dan’s, gently prying his white-knuckled grasp off the steering wheel to intertwine their fingers. Dan stared at their linked hands in wonder. Phil’s hand was a little smaller and a lot paler, but it looked perfect in Dan’s. Dan felt a clammy warmth coming from Phil’s palm, and he relaxed a little when he realized that must mean that Phil wasn’t feeling as confident as he seemed- at least Dan wasn’t alone in his nerves.

“And it’s okay that you’re nervous. I’m nervous, too.” Phil leaned in closer to Dan to whisper conspiratorially, “Plus, you’re really cute when you blush.”

Dan figured that Phil would probably think Dan was “really cute” most of the date, then, because he couldn’t seem to get his cheeks to calm down. If anything, he was pretty sure his cheeks were getting even more red.

Flustered, Dan didn’t know what to say in response, so he just looked back at the road, shaking his head in slight disbelief.

I don’t know how he could think I’m cute when he’s obviously the cutest person in the universe.

Dan swallowed nervously. “We should- uh- get going. The whole point of getting up before daylight was to get there early, right?” Dan said, deciding to ignore Phil’s comment entirely.

Phil shrugged and leaned back in his seat, releasing Dan’s hand so he could drive.

He carefully checked that the road was clear before pulling into the lane.

Although his eyes were trained on the street, Dan could practically feel Phil’s self-satisfied grin. He couldn’t help the blush that just wouldn’t go away, not when he knew Phil was smiling because of him.

That cute bitch. God, I’m a mess.

Phil must have sensed Dan’s current inability to converse like a proper human being, and decided to take pity on him because he took charge of the conversation.

“I’ve always loved Disney.” Phil said thoughtfully. “I was definitely that kid who sat inside all day rewatching The Lion King until my parents couldn’t stand it anymore.” He chuckled at himself, then continued. “I think they eventually broke the tape on purpose.”

Dan pictured it - a tiny Phil sat in front of a shitty ‘90s television, dressed in absolutely horrendous ‘90s fashion, and singing along at the top of his lungs. He was probably dreadfully off-key even then.

He laughed at the mental image, glancing over at Phil as if trying to picture this adult man in the same situation. “That sounds cute as fuck, Phil,” he said through the laugh.

“Does it really?” Phil asked, sounding surprised. ”Seems a bit annoying, if you ask me. My parents certainly thought so,” Phil mused.

Dan shook his head, and snuck another glance at Phil.

“Definitely cute as fuck,” Dan adamantly assured Phil. He was almost offended that anyone could be annoyed with Phil. “And you know what, The Lion King is amazing, so we are gonna sing it right now, on the way to Disney, because we are adults and no one can stop us,” he declared.

Shit, what if he doesn’t want to, though?

Dan quickly side-eyed Phil, saying, “You know, if you want, that is. We don’t have to.”

But Dan’s concern was unnecessary, as Phil was already grinning and pulling out his phone to find the soundtrack.

“You’ve done it now, Howell. The offer has been made and there’s no going back,” Phil said just as “The Circle of Life” began to play from his phone.

“Naaaaaaans lasagna baby itsy baby!” Phil sang along loudly. He was extremely pitchy, but he didn’t seem to care.

“What the fuck, Phil!” Dan yelled through a hyena laugh. “Those so aren’t the lyrics, oh my god!”

Phil ignored him and continued to sing, moving to the background chorus “lyrics”: “It’s a llama, penguin and a llama. It’s a llama, penguin and a llama.”

Dan laughed harder, doing his best to keep his attention primarily focused on the road.

He’s having so much fun with this. I bet it’d make him happy if I sing like that, too.

Dan would do pretty much anything to make Phil smile, so he joined in, singing, “It’s a llama, penguin and a llama” just as loudly and carelessly as Phil.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dan could see Phil turn his head to look at him. Dan felt himself absolutely melting under the fond giddiness in Phil’s gaze.

Today’s gonna be such a good day.

They spent a majority of the drive singing along to various Disney songs, sticking to The Lion King at first but expanding to some of their other Disney favorites like Mulan (Dan loved singing his dramatic rendition of “Reflection”) and The Little Mermaid (they couldn’t not. Phil was Prince Eric, after all).

“So, I told you what my favorite Disney movie growing up was, now it’s your turn,” Phil began as the last note of “Under the Sea” faded away. “What did your poor parents have to put up with?”

Dan blushed, his eyes darting over to glance at Phil. “It’s kind of embarrassing.”

Phil scoffed. “Impossible. I’m sure it’s perfectly endearing.” Dan shook his head but Phil continued, sounding almost petulant. “Either way, you have to tell me because I already told you mine.”

Dan rolled his eyes, but gave in. Phil could probably make him give into anything. “Okay, fine. My favorite Disney cartoon was Winnie the Pooh. It’s lit-tra-ly why I have such a posh accent.”

“Awwwwww, I love Winnie the Pooh!” Phil cooed. “He wasn’t my favorite, but he was so wonderful.”

Dan glanced over, surprised by Phil’s enthusiastic reaction. Phil was already staring back at him with a small, fond smile.

Just as Dan was about to speak up, maybe change the subject because he still felt a bit embarrassed, Phil spoke again. “You know, I’m not all that surprised your favorite was Winnie the Pooh. You kind of remind me of him, in a way,” he said thoughtfully.

Dan smiled, but couldn’t keep the confusion out of his expression, his head tilting to the side slightly and his eyebrows furrowing.

“I really remind you of Winnie the Pooh?” Dan asked, baffled.

In his peripheral vision, Dan caught a glimpse of Phil. Phil was staring out the window like he was deep in thought, scrunching up his eyebrows slightly.

“Yeah,” Phil answered. “You’ve got this kind of calm chillness about you, but I still know you’ll work hard to get what you want. Like, you work for what you care about but still take it easy every now and then, if that makes sense. And you seem to care a lot about your friends, which is very Pooh.”

There was a thoughtfulness and sincerity to his voice that caught Dan off guard. How does he know that about me already? Does he really pay that much attention? Warmth filled Dan as he considered that maybe Phil liked him as much as he liked Phil.

But then Phil grinned, continuing cheekily, “But I’m pretty sure what you want usually isn’t a pot of honey.”

Dan let out a snort. “Most of that was actually very perceptive of you,” he replied fondly, glancing over at Phil with a soft smile.

Phil shrugged. “No, not really. It’s not that hard to recognize that you’ve never taken a pot of honey to work,” he tried to say casually, but he couldn’t quite keep the amusement from his voice.

Dan groaned and rolled his eyes, but he laughed affectionately. “You’re such a dork!”

“Your mum’s a dork!” Phil retorted in a faux-defensive tone.

“Oi, you leave my mum out of this!” Dan laughed, reaching over to poke Phil’s leg.

The conversation dissolved into laughter and more meaningless, but fun, banter. Dan lost track of the time, his brain in autopilot as he drove them the rest of the way to Disney, and he found himself almost sad when they arrived. The drive had gone so well, what if things got awkward when they were wandering around?

Dan’s worry didn’t last long, however, as Phil continued to talk just as he had in the car. As they walked into the park, they made a quick list of rides they had to go on, and then they were off.

Creepy dolls sang “It’s a Small World” to them (Phil regretted that suggestion; he told Dan he definitely gave himself nightmare material for weeks), they journeyed through the Caribbean with cunning pirates to find Spanish gold, and they took a tour through Neverland. Each ride had a long enough line that they could talk for a short while, but they didn’t feel like they were wasting the day just waiting around.

Big Thunder Mountain Railroad was definitely Phil’s favorite. He made Dan go on it three times in a row. And because Phil just looked too adorable when he was excited (his eyes lit up as he smiled and bounced on the balls of his feet, insisting they had to go go go again right now, it’s so fun!), Dan couldn’t say no. Plus, it was kind of a small cart and they were rather tall. Dan wasn’t about to give up the chance to be squished into Phil’s side.

They wandered into Liberty Square for lunch. Dan had timed it perfectly, because it was just before a parade was supposed to begin. He thought Phil might enjoy seeing the characters and hearing the music as a guest rather than an employee for once, since he was always so excited about the magic of Disney. Dan loved it when the magic would excite Phil; Phil’s inner child would shine through, lighting up his face and making him giggle in wonder.

“We have to go to Sleepy Hollow,” Dan insisted as he pointed to the restaurant with one hand, excitedly tapping Phil’s arm with his other. “They have the best damn chicken and waffles you will ever have in your life, and there’s a little picnic area so we can watch the parade go by.”

“I’m more of a pancakes man, to be honest,” Phil said dubiously. “But I’ll trust you.” He flashed Dan a wide smile.

“These are so much more than a breakfast food, Phil, they are art. They make sandwiches out of the waffle and put this spicy chicken inside and-” Dan moaned theatrically- “I can’t explain it, it’s just so good.”

“Okay, okay, lead the way!” Phil conceded, and gestured for Dan to go ahead of him. Dan reached behind him and pulled Phil after him by the forearm as he hurriedly made his way into the restaurant.

Phil let Dan pick his waffle for him, and then took out his wallet to pay.

“Hey, no, put that away!” Dan insisted, pushing Phil’s arm down. “I asked you out, so I’m paying.”

“But-” Phil started, his hand still reaching into his wallet.

“Nope.” Dan lightly hip-checked Phil out of the way and handed his card over to the cashier. “I’ve got this, okay?” He turned to look at Phil again to see him rolling his eyes, which worried him until he noticed Phil’s small smile.

“You’re ridiculous, but okay.” Phil gave Dan’s shoulder a mini shove to retaliate for the hip-check.

A few minutes later, they retrieved the waffles and sat down at a table near the edge of the patio so they could see the parade when it came.

“Are you ready for your life to change dramatically?” Dan asked seriously as they each picked up their waffle sandwiches.

“Well, now I’m a little scared. That’s a lot of pressure riding on this one sandwich,” Phil teased. He eyed the sandwich skeptically, eyes narrowed in distrust.

“It’s deserved, believe me,” Dan said. “Come on, then. I’m waiting for your reaction.” Dan leaned in closer and stared at Phil eagerly, holding his breath.

Phil eyed his sandwich with a curious expression - part wary and part excited - before he leaned in, opened his mouth wide, and took a big bite.

He seemed to consider for a moment, and then his eyes widened comically. He looked at Dan with pure wonder on his face. His lips were tilting up into a smile, even though his mouth was full of food.

“I know,” Dan said, nodding seriously.

“How - it’s - oh my god,” Phil groaned around his bite of food.

“I know,” Dan laughed. He leaned back in his seat, relieved at Phil’s reaction. “You like it, then?”

Phil nodded vigorously, already going in for another bite.

Dan laughed again, then took a bite of his own sandwich and moaned at the flavor.

“It’s really spicy but it’s so good,” Phil managed when he finally swallowed. He chugged a few gulps of water, then dove back into the sandwich.

Dan felt a strange sense of pride well up in him. Phil had trusted Dan’s suggestion and it paid off brilliantly.

Just then, the front of the parade passed by their seating area. The magic of seeing the characters wasn’t as strong for Dan or Phil now that they’ve done parades and meet and greets before, but that didn’t stop them from enjoying it. Mickey Mouse waved at them, and Phil squealed in delight.

“Hi, Mickey!” he called excitedly, bouncing in his seat a bit and waving his arm wildly.

He’s so precious, oh my god.

“Mickey Mouse waved at me, Dan! I feel special,” Phil exclaimed, looking at Dan with the gleeful excitement of a child.

“You are,” Dan said softly. His body was frozen, his hands half-raised to his mouth with the last few bites of his waffle sandwich, but his eyes wandered Phil’s face, taking in the joy and giddiness. Phil’s happiness was infectious, and Dan found himself smiling affectionately at this excitable man who had somehow agreed to go on a date with Dan, of all people.

Phil’s face flushed, and he broke eye contact for a moment to look down at his food tray, then cautiously looked back up at Dan through his lashes. Dan felt a fresh surge of affection as he saw how bashful Phil got at the compliment.

They stared at each other silently for a moment, faces turning redder by the second, until Dan cleared his throat.

“So, uh, you liked the waffle, then?” He pointed at the sticky mess left on the tray where Phil’s sandwich used to be.

Phil nodded. “Life-changing, as advertised. Thanks for the suggestion.”

“I’m glad you liked it,” Dan replied. He cleared his throat again. “So, after the parade crowd clears out a bit, do you wanna go to the Haunted Mansion?”

“Definitely,” Phil agreed.

It didn’t take long for the crowd to disperse once the parade ended, and then Dan and Phil were off to find the Haunted Mansion.

On the way, they encountered a traffic jam where some families were apparently meeting a character. A huge crowd of people stood in the way, blocking the whole path. Dan felt a twinge of sympathy for the handler, knowing how hard it could be to keep a crowd under control, especially in walkways. As a handler, he hated when people tried to force their way through, but he was a man on a mission. He’d just try not to be too aggressive.

“I’m gonna go for it,” Dan decided, already sending mental apologies to the handler. “Stay close?”

Phil nodded, and Dan pushed himself into the small gaps between people with Phil on his heels.

Except Phil wasn’t quite as on-his-heels as he expected. Dan had moved a little too fast for Phil to keep up in such a cramped space. A hand grasped onto Dan’s wrist, and he jumped, glancing back quickly to see Phil’s arm outstretched.

Phil’s basically holding my hand. It’s fine, nothing to worry about. Totally cool over here. It’s all good.

They finally broke free of the crowd and could stand next to each other again. Dan expected Phil to drop his wrist now that they had room to maneuver, but he didn’t. Instead, Phil’s hand slid down to lace their fingers together.

Dan’s heart beat faster, and he stared down at their clasped hands. Be cool, Dan, he’s just holding your hand.

“Is this okay?” Phil asked tentatively.

Dan’s head snapped up to make eye contact. Phil was blushing and looked like he was making a concerted effort not to hide his face.

“Hm? The hands? Yes, that’s fine. It’s - it’s great. Perfect, really.” Dan fumbled, flustered.

I said be cool, that is not being cool.

Phil’s free hand rose up to cover his mouth slightly, trying to hide a giggle, but the crows feet around his eyes gave him away.

“Nooooo, don’t laugh at me!” Dan whined.

“I’m sorry,” Phil said through his laughter. “You’re just too adorable.”

Dan’s cheeks were definitely bright red by now. “Shut up,” he grumbled. He stuck out his bottom lip in an exaggerated pout.

“Awwww,” Phil cooed. “You’re really not making me think you’re less adorable, if that was the goal.”

Dan let out an exaggerated huff and walked slightly ahead of Phil - just far enough ahead to keep up his dramatic charade, but close enough that they could still hold hands.

They arrived at the Haunted Mansion line and worked their way to the front. Along the way, Dan and Phil took turns reading out all of the silly tombstones of the dead residents. Every so often, Phil would laugh at one of the funny ways of dying and say, “That’s you.”

On the ride itself, Dan cozied up to Phil as much as he dare. The seats were much bigger than Big Thunder Railroad and he - unfortunately - didn’t have to squish into Phil’s side in order to fit. He didn’t want to drape himself all over Phil, but he wanted to be as close as was reasonably possible, so he settled for sitting close enough that their sides touched from shoulder to knee.

Is this too much? Is he uncomfortable? Oh, god, this was a mistake, wasn’t it.

But then Phil’s foot bumped Dan’s, nudging it gently before hooking his ankle around Dan’s.

Dan looked at Phil, happy to know that apparently Phil wanted to be close just as much as Dan, but Phil was steadfastly observing the other side of their cart. Dan rolled his eyes fondly and relaxed into the chair.

Their cart turned a corner, and the ride properly began.

Some of the spooks startled Phil throughout the ride, and Dan laughed at him for it.

“Really, Phil? How didn’t you expect that to pop up?” Dan would tease, squeezing Phil’s hand briefly.

“Shhhh, I just wasn’t paying enough attention!” Phil would reply, squeezing right back.

About halfway through the ride, the cart spun around and began descending a sharp hill backwards. Gravity squished Dan and Phil to the middle of the seat, right up against each other.

Dan breathed in sharply as their bodies pressed together even more than they already had been, and he quickly looked over at Phil’s face. Phil was already looking at him, blushing heavily.

“Hi,” Phil whispered shyly. He flexed his fingers around Dan’s before squeezing gently.

Equally shyly, Dan squeezed Phil’s hand and whispered, “Hi.”

When the cart straightened out, neither of them made any effort to readjust to sit farther away from the other. Dan felt his heart soar when he realized that meant Phil wanted to be close to him, too.

Not long after, the ride came to an end. Phil let go of Dan’s hand to climb out of the cart, then reached back to offer his hand as a support as Dan followed.

“How gentlemanly,” Dan commented with a slight quirk of his lips. Inside, he was gushing about how sweet Phil was and how much he loved the feeling of the soft skin of Phil’s hand against his own. He worried Phil would let go of his hand as soon as he got off the ride, but Phil only adjusted his grip to interlock their fingers again. He brushed his thumb over Dan’s knuckles, and butterflies erupted in Dan’s stomach.

As they left the Haunted Mansion set, they debated where to go next.

Phil’s vote was the Winnie the Pooh ride.

“Come on, it’s such a cute one! Besides, you said you loved Pooh!” Phil eagerly suggested.

Dan laughed and let Phil pull him across the park to the ride.

He wants to make me happy so much. I’m supposed to be making sure we go on rides he likes but he’s over here pushing me to do something for personal nostalgia’s sake. He’s so sweet.

Fortunately, the line wasn’t too long, so they passed through the interactive buttons and animatronics until they made it to the carts.

They had to drop their hands to climb into the carts, much to Dan’s annoyance, but he relaxed when Phil sat down probably closer than was strictly necessary.

Phil leaned in to whisper in Dan’s ear, “Will you hold my hand if I get scared?”

Dan let out a loud laugh, turning his head to look at Phil.

“It’s just Winnie the Pooh, so I doubt that’ll be a problem.” His hand found Phil’s anyway as the ride began to move, already desperate for the comforting warmth and the accompanying rush of giddy excitement that Dan was beginning to associate with holding Phil’s hand. Dan felt a grin breaking out on his face, playing it off as excitement for Winnie the Pooh. He looked around at the walls, quickly reading the giant storybook page that set up the story for the ride.

Just before they entered the ride, Dan looked back at Phil with a soft smile and quietly admitted, “I like holding your hand, even if you aren’t scared.”

Phil bit his lip around a giddy smile, and Dan’s heart just about melted at the sight.

“Oi, you’ll miss the ride if you keep looking at me,” Phil complained, nudging Dan’s elbow with his own.

“Mmm, but I really like looking at you. Especially when I get you to blush like that,” Dan teased, nudging Phil’s shoulder playfully. He relented, though, deciding to enjoy the ride as Phil insisted.

It wasn’t a particularly thrilling ride, by any means. There were a few jerky turns and wobbles, but no dips or spins, and the pace was fairly slow. They both giggled as the ride bounced up and down, mimicking Tigger’s bouncing.

Dan loved it anyway, partly because of the nostalgia of Winnie the Pooh and partly because of how into it Phil was. He never was actually scared, but he pretended to be when they came to the section of Heffalumps and Woozles, squeezing Dan’s hand harder and bringing his other arm to hug Dan’s. Phil’s head came to rest on Dan’s shoulder, and Dan went perfectly still.

Oh my god. He’s so precious. Don’t move, Dan, or he’ll move.

Luckily, it seemed that Phil had no intention of moving away from Dan for the rest of the ride. He stayed snuggled up to Dan’s arm for the last few minutes of the story, then reluctantly detached himself as their cart came to the end.

“That was a great idea, Phil. I’m glad you dragged me over here,” Dan said happily as they exited the track area. He couldn’t get the dopey smile off his face.

Phil gasped, ignoring Dan entirely in favor of pointing to the alcove next to the ride and tugging on their still-clasped hands.

“Look! Tigger and Pooh are there for photos!” He turned to Dan, expression extremely serious. “We have to go get pictures with them.”

Dan was on the verge of saying no. They most likely knew whoever it was in the costumes, so some of the magic was already missing from the experience. Besides, it would definitely be weird if two awkwardly tall adult men got in line to meet Winnie the Pooh.

But Phil looked so excited and happy, Dan couldn’t find it in himself to decline. Instead, he sighed in mock exasperation and gestured for Phil to lead the way.

Phil’s face lit up even more, making Dan smile and shake his head fondly.

He’s such a dork. I love that he’s so willing to let himself be a kid at Disney. He really makes the magic come to life.

The line to meet Pooh and Tigger was significantly longer than the line for the ride had been, so they occupied their time by sharing anecdotes about their childhood experiences. Phil had several stories about the crazy things he did or believed as a kid, like how he thought the “D” in the Disney logo was actually a “G” or how crowds cheering at football matches scared him to the point of tears.

(Dan, of course, found this very endearing and jokingly promised he would never cheer at a football match in front of Phil.)

In exchange, Dan told Phil a few stories about some of his more embarrassing failures and awkward moments growing up, like how he got fired from his last job for selling an axe to a twelve-year-old.

Finally, they made it to the front of the line and got to meet Tigger and Pooh. They each got to hug both characters, much to Phil’s delight. Before they took the picture, they also got to “talk” with the animals. Neither character could actually say anything, but Tigger had some very articulate gestures.

He looked at Dan, then pointed back and forth between Dan and Phil, who was having an animated conversation with Pooh and completely unaware of the attention. Dan wasn’t entirely sure, but he thought maybe Tigger had caught on to their affection. Sure enough, Tigger placed both hands over his heart and tilted his head.

Blushing, Dan laughed. “Yeah, we’re here on a date,” he confirmed in a low voice, trying not to attract Phil’s attention away from where he talked with Pooh. It wasn’t that the date was a secret, Dan just felt a little self-conscious that he was talking to one of his childhood idols - and probably coworkers, honestly - about a date.

Tigger gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up - or at least the closest thing he could get to a thumbs up in his costume. He took Dan’s hand to guide him to Phil, made them hold hands, then moved to stand on the other side of Phil. Pooh stood next to Dan, and they were ready for pictures.

Dan and Phil both blushed profusely at Tigger’s antics, even though they’d already been holding hands all day. It was just a different experience when someone else noticed their feelings and nudged them together, showing Dan that maybe they did work well together. Plus, Dan realized that he was about to actually take a picture while holding hands with Phil, which would immortalize this perfect moment.

They took a few nice pictures with Pooh and Tigger, then bade them goodbye and left the meeting spot, still hand-in-hand.

“That was amazing! Tigger saw right through us, didn’t he?” Phil chuckled.

“He definitely did,” Dan agreed. He swung their clasped hands around slightly, enjoying the sensation of the contact. Casually, he added, “I wonder if it’s anybody we know today… We’ll definitely be hearing about this at work later.”

“Shhhh!” Phil clapped a hand over Dan’s mouth. “That’s Tigger, not somebody we know!” he scolded, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

Dan rolled his eyes and smiled under Phil’s hand. “Of course, how could I ever forget,” he deadpanned, though it came out warbled and muffled.

Phil narrowed his eyes at Dan suspiciously, then nodded once. “I don’t know what you said, but I’ll take it as an apology. No more ruining the magic, right?”

Dan sighed dramatically, then nodded.

Letting out a satisfied hum, Phil dropped his hand from Dan’s mouth and looking around at their surroundings. His eyes landed on the gift shop for Winnie the Pooh, and he immediately started pulling Dan towards it. “I just had the best idea!”

“I’m not sure I like where you’re going with this, love, the look on your face screams mischief,” Dan said warily.

Did I just call him “love”? Oh shit, it is definitely too soon for pet names like that. Shit, that was too much.

But Phil didn’t comment on it. If anything, his smile got wider as he mercilessly tugged Dan along.

“Shh, trust me! This will be amazing, I promise.” Phil sounded particularly excited about this idea of his.

When they entered the shop, Phil made straight for the back wall. He let go of Dan’s hand to pick up two Mickey Mouse ear hats, one Tigger and one Pooh.

“I’m buying these and we’ll match for the rest of the day,” Phil declared adamantly, sounding like he’d already made up his mind.

Dan blinked in shock, glancing quickly from Phil to the hats and back again. “Um, what? Phil, those are, like, $30 each. I can’t let you get them for both of us on a date I asked you to, that would be ungentlemanly!” he exclaimed.

Phil giggled. “You think I care about that? You’ve already been such a gentleman so far. You bought lunch and everything! Besides, I want to get them. It was my idea, anyway, it’s only right I pay for them. Plus, you’re forgetting that we get a cast member discount, silly. Come on, please?” Phil stuck out his bottom lip and opened his eyes wider in a puppy pout.

Dan hesitated, momentarily distracted by how endearing that expression was, before contemplating the issue at hand. He didn’t want to push it too much and make it seem like he thought Phil couldn’t afford the hats or something, but he also didn’t want to make Phil pay for them.

Although, he’s right - it was his idea. Surely he wouldn’t have suggested it if he wasn’t willing and expecting to pay for them…

“Alright, fine,” Dan relented. “You can buy us the hats, but I’m buying dinner.”

“You already paid for lunch, though!” Phil exclaimed with a tone. “It’s really not necessary-”

“But I want to treat you,” Dan mumbled sheepishly, tugging gently on Phil’s hand. He looked up at Phil through his lashes as he continued, “I want you to feel special today, you know? This should all be about you.”

Dan’s free hand reached up and brushed some of Phil’s drooping quiff off his forehead, eventually resting his hand on Phil’s cheek.

Phil nuzzled into Dan’s hand slightly, looking a little conflicted for a moment.

“Oh, alright then, if you insist. You can pay for dinner later. But right now, I’m going to get these hats and make everyone jealous of our relationship,” Phil announced with a flare.

Relationship? Does that mean he wants to be boyfriends? Is it too early for that? I mean… I think I want that, but does he? I know we’re still only on the first date, but this feels so natural that it would just make sense to make it official, wouldn’t it?

Dan decided to tuck the questions away for now, swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat as he followed closely behind Phil to the registers.

Phil quickly paid and picked up the hats from the counter, turning to face Dan.

“Alright, then, let’s see it on you. May I?” Phil asked, gesturing towards Dan’s head with the Pooh hat and smiling.

My hair is going to hate this…

Dan leaned forward in answer, presenting his head for Phil. Phil slowly fixed the hat over Dan’s head, placing the chin strap under his chin to secure it in place. He reached up and messed with his hair, carefully pulling out a few strands from under the hat. Usually, Dan wouldn’t let anyone fix his hair for him because he alone knew how to make it look good, but he didn’t complain as Phil fluffed the exposed ends. Somehow, he felt like he could trust Phil to do it right. After a lingering moment, Phil pulled his hands away, and Dan tilted his head back up so Phil could inspect the results.

He inhaled sharply and stared at Dan with an unreadable expression.

“What? Does it look weird?” Dan asked, suddenly nervous. He took out his phone to use the camera as a mirror.

It actually wasn’t too bad; his hair was definitely more of a mess now, but he actually looked fairly good with the hat.

Dan looked back up to see Phil still staring at him, now with a beaming smile.

Dan blushed at the attention, and Phil cooed.

“I knew this would be a good idea. You look fantastic,” Phil assured Dan, reaching up a hand again and gently brushing his fingers through the visible floof of hair poking out from under the hat.

“Thank you,” Dan mumbled, feeling the blush continue to burn on his cheeks.

Phil smiled brightly at him, then dropped his hand from Dan’s hair.

“My turn!” Phil thrust the Tigger hat towards Dan’s hand, then tilted his head down so Dan could put the hat on him.

Dan stretched the elastic over Phil’s chin and pushed the hat back onto Phil’s head. He brushed his fingers through Phil’s quiff to make sure his hair wouldn’t look weird, marvelling at the softness for a moment, then removed his hands.

Phil’s head tilted back up, and he was grinning, and his face was so close to Dan’s that, for a moment, Dan’s brain short-circuited.

“Thank you,” Phil giggled.

The giggle was enough to pull Dan’s brain back together in a flurry of thoughts.

Great, my cheeks are going to be permanently pink around Phil, apparently. It doesn’t help that he looks unfairly pretty in that Tigger hat with his stupid gorgeous quiff poking out just a little and he looks so excited and happy and wait what did he say again? Was I supposed to respond? Oh yeah -

“You’re welcome,” Dan awkwardly said a few beats too late.

Phil giggled again, not seeming to care about Dan’s awkwardness, then reached into his pocket for his phone.

“Let’s take a selfie, immortalize the moment,” Phil suggested.

Oh my god, yes. We are too cute, and I need a picture of Phil looking like this so I can look back on this moment and absolutely melt. He looks so happy.

“I’ll take it, if you want. I’ve mastered the perfect selfie angle with my noodle arms,” Dan joked, stepping closer to Phil.

Dan expected Phil to just stand next to him, but apparently Phil was in the mood to murder Dan because he stood closer than he really had to for the picture and then reached out an arm to wrap it around Dan’s waist.

Dan’s selfie arm faltered briefly at the sensation of Phil’s warm arm on his body. He barely bit back a surprised squeak, since he knew that would make Phil think he was uncomfortable and he’d move his arm. That was the last thing Dan wanted. Phil’s half-embrace felt so strong and comforting and safe, Dan wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to survive when Phil eventually moved.

“Ready?” Dan asked, voice a little shaky.

“Yee!” Phil replied.

Dan snapped a few photos, changing the angle slightly to try to capture the perfect shot. Normally, for a picture like this, he would give a half-smile, or maybe a smirk, but right now? There was no way he could keep the ridiculous grin from his face.

And then Phil turned his head and kissed Dan right on the cheek as Dan snapped a picture. Dan’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in shock.

Did he just - he’s still - oh my god. Oh my GOD. Okay, okay, okay, shhhhh, calm down before he gets weird about it, come on, get it together, Dan.

A flaming red blush spread across Dan’s cheeks and his mouth spread in a face-splitting grin for the last few pictures Dan took. Butterflies zoomed around his stomach like they were trying to escape, and a few seemed to find their way out as giggles. A few of the giggles erupted from Dan’s throat, and he covered his mouth with his hand to prevent any more from escaping

Dan wasn’t sure what to say as Phil pulled away from his cheek. He wasn’t even sure where to look. He could still feel Phil’s strong arm around his waist, and it made thinking difficult. His thoughts swirled wildly as he tried to figure out what to do. Should he look at Phil and let him see how Dan was still reeling? Should he run away? Should he act like nothing happened and look at the pictures? And would he ever stop grinning like a madman?

He opted for sending Phil a shy, happy glance, then pretending like nothing had happened (which was a little hard to do around his grin, but he tried to ignore that detail). He cleared his throat and looked at his phone, opening the photos app and scrolling through the selfies he took.

“There’s probably at least one good one in here,” Dan said to distract himself. He looked through the pictures, quickly skimming past the ones where Phil was kissing him to find the first photos.

“Wait - Phil! You’re not even looking at the phone in any of these!” Dan exclaimed, looking over at his date in mock irritation.

Phil was already looking at him with a fond smile. “Of course I’m not looking at the phone. How could I, when you’re here in front of me?” he asked softly. His face was open and honest, and the fond smile twitched until it grew into a full grin.

Dan’s cheeks darkened again. He opened his mouth to respond, but all that came out was a sort of strangled, “Oh.”

Phil giggled, his tongue poking through his teeth.

How does he keep getting more and more adorable, oh my god. This man will be the death of me.

Phil’s arm dropped from around Dan’s waist, much to Dan’s disappointment.

“Come on! We’ve got more rides to go on!” Phil reminded him gleefully.

He quickly re-discovered Dan’s hand (making butterflies zoom around in his stomach again) and began pulling him out of the shop again, already going on about how he wanted to go on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad again.

Dan shook his head fondly, but followed Phil anyway.

A few hours later, they had ridden all Phil’s favorites another time as well as the Winnie the Pooh ride, this time with their Pooh and Tigger ear hats, and they realized they were both starving.

They meandered over to Pinocchio’s Village Haus for a quick dinner (Phil got chicken nuggets, which Dan found endearing as hell), and then headed back out for a few more roller coasters before they had to find a spot for the fireworks.

“Phil, I know you love the roller coasters, but we really have to go pick our place to watch the fireworks!” Dan laughed, tugging Phil’s arm to get him to stay out of the line for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. “Besides, we’ve already been on this one three times. Haven’t you had enough?”

“You can never have too many pirates, Pooh!” Phil exclaimed excitedly. He tugged right back on Dan’s arm in a desperate attempt to return to the Pirates ride.

Dan rolled his eyes in exasperation. “But the whole point of coming here was to show you the fireworks!” He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout and batted his eyes at Phil. “Pwease, Phiw?”

“Awwww, now that’s just cheating,” Phil whined. He pouted in return, but Dan wasn’t having it.

Dan jutted his bottom lip out even further, and Phil cracked.

“Oh, alright then,” Phil sighed. “Lead the way.”

A smug grin made its way onto Dan’s lips. “That’s what I thought. Follow me, my liege,” Dan said with a mock bow. He took a great deal of joy in the soft giggle he heard Phil make.

When Phil had agreed to the date, Dan had immediately made sure to reserve them a spot in front of Cinderella’s Castle, where the view would be best. They headed to that area now, waiting for an attendant to allow them into the reserved section directly in front of the castle.

Even though it was still light out, there was a long line of people waiting to get into the reserved area, so Dan and Phil took their place at the back and hunkered down to wait.

“So, where do the fireworks come from, again? Like, which way should I be looking?” Phil asked, inspecting the area around them as if he expected a firework to go off any moment.

“There’s a whole song and show and everything that’ll be around the Castle,” Dan told him.

Phil nodded absentmindedly, still looking around the park.

Dan took the quiet moment to appreciate the memories of the day. He thought about how excited Phil had been that morning, and how happy Phil had been when he learned that Dan loved Winnie the Pooh, and how insistent Phil was about the Winnie the Pooh-themed hats they were both still wearing. Dan thought about how good and right the whole day had felt, with the never-ending conversation and playful flirting and hand-holding. God, the handholding. He couldn’t get enough of the feeling of his hand gently clutched by Phil’s. Sometimes, Phil would run his thumb over Dan’s knuckles, sending all coherent thought flying desperately from his brain and attracting all the blood to his cheeks, making it painfully obvious how much he adored Phil’s actions.

As they waited for the fireworks, Dan tentatively moved his own thumb over Phil’s hand, wondering if Phil would have a similar reaction to Dan. The blinding smile Phil sent Dan told him that yes, Phil liked that just as much as Dan.

Phil took a small step in so their sides were entirely pressed up against each other, then leaned in to be even closer.

“Thank you,” Phil whispered with a light smile. “Today’s been great.”

Dan beamed. The whole goal of the day had been to make Phil as happy as possible. He was proud to say that he firmly believed he had accomplished that goal, and they hadn’t even seen the fireworks yet.

“But you haven’t seen the fireworks yet. That was supposed to be the great part of the day,” Dan reminded him.

Phil laughed gently, reaching up his free hand to carefully cup Dan’s cheek. Dan’s heartbeat quickened as he subconsciously leaned into the touch.

“Oh, Dan,” Phil sighed happily. “The great part was spending time with you, no matter what we did.”

Phil’s thumb caressed Dan’s cheek, and Dan’s brain shorted out.

He- I- Great? My face? His hand? My god.

Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, all Dan could think to say was a breathy, “Oh.”

Phil’s responding laugh brushed delicately against Dan’s face.

“Speechless, Howell? That’s surprising,” he teased. “I like seeing you all flustered. I’ll have to keep making it happen.” He winked at Dan in his special Phil way, where it’s more of a blink than a wink, then let go of Dan entirely and turned towards the line, which had finally moved forward to allow people into the reserved section.

Dan blinked in surprise.

What just happened? I didn’t even notice the line move. What is this boy doing to me?

He shook himself slightly, quickly catching up to Phil and re-clasping their hands.

Should I address what just happened? What would I even say? I’m not sure I know what happened, anyway.

Dan chanced a glance at Phil and saw a smirk playing at his lips.

That’s a dangerous smirk. He looks mischievous - he’s way too pleased with himself. It’s probably best if I just move on, before I make more of a fool of myself.

“Phil!” he began, louder than he expected. He winced internally, begging himself to be less awkward. Clearing his throat, he tried again, lowering his voice to a normal volume this time. “So, are you ready to see the most beautiful, captivating thing you will ever see?”

A full smirk formed on Phil’s face.

“I’ve already seen him. He’s actually somehow letting me hold his hand,” he said teasingly, swinging their hands pointedly.

Dan groaned, looking towards the heavens as if asking for God to come save him from this dork, but he couldn’t disguise his smile, nor his accompanying blush. “Oh, that was cheesy as hell. I walked right into it, too, didn’t I?” He looked back at Phil with a shake of his head.

“You certainly did.” Phil grinned, bumping Dan’s shoulder with his own. “And now you’re all blushy again, how adorable!”

“You’re a menace. A danger to society. Too pure for this world,” Dan deadpanned.

Phil snorted. “One of these things is not like the other.”

In a sing-song voice, Dan replied, “But all of them describe you perfectly.”

Phil bumped Dan’s shoulder again, harder this time. “Your mum’s a description.”

“What?!” Dan shrieked out in a hyena laugh. “That- that doesn’t even make sense!”

“Your mum doesn’t even-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Dan warned teasingly. “Leave my poor mum alone.” To make sure Phil didn’t take him too seriously, Dan squeezed his hand lightly. If his heart raced a little faster when Phil squeezed back, well, no one had to know.

“So, where are we going to watch the fireworks from?” Phil asked.

Dan hummed in thought, looking around the open area for a good spot. “How about right there?” He pointed to a place near the front of the section, but far enough back that they wouldn’t block everyone’s line of sight with their tallness.

“Perfect,” Phil agreed with a content nod.

Phil followed Dan to their spot. Once they got there, Dan hugged Phil’s arm with his own free arm and rested his head on Phil’s shoulder.

Dan looked up at Phil from his shoulder. “Is this okay?” Dan asked. He felt Phil nod.

“It’s perfect,” came Phil’s fond reply. Phil squeezed Dan’s hand once, then brushed his thumb over Dan’s knuckles again.

If he hadn’t been leaning on Phil already, Dan was sure he would’ve fallen over completely in a swoon. Phil somehow knew exactly what to do to make Dan unbelievably happy, and Dan was living for it.

For a few minutes, they stood in silence, just enjoying each other’s presence and the feeling of their bodies pressed together as they waited for the fireworks.

The lights around the crowd went out, and Cinderella’s Castle lit up.

“Is it starting?” Phil asked.

Dan resisted the urge to sass Phil, because honestly, what else could be happening? Disney shut down the park with everyone still in it?

Instead, he hummed quietly in affirmation and snuggled closer into Phil’s shoulder.

Music began, and the crowd was entranced. Oohs and Ahhs rang out in the plaza with every new animation and special effect. The lights and the music, combined with the magical experience that is spending a day at Disney World, always delivered a spectacular performance.

But Dan wasn’t really paying attention.

Dan was looking at Phil. Well, some would call it staring, but Dan couldn’t bring himself to care.

Phil’s expression was so relaxed, so happy. Every new piece to the show had him gasping in delight, a childlike wonder in his eyes. Dan couldn’t get enough of it.

And then Phil seemed to notice that Dan wasn’t watching the fireworks. He turned his head slightly, looking at Dan, who was still carefully resting on his shoulder despite the Pooh ears.

Normally, Dan would’ve been embarrassed to be caught staring, but all he could feel was an overwhelming affection for the man who had spent the whole day trying to make sure Dan had a good time, even though Dan was meant to be treating Phil.

A fond smile grew on Phil’s face as he and Dan got lost in each other’s gaze.

“Hi,” Phil whispered just loud enough to be heard over the fireworks and music. His free hand moved up and carded through Dan’s exposed fringe slowly, then came to rest on his cheek. His thumb delicately traced Dan’s cheekbone.

If he could, Dan would have purred at the gentle motion of Phil’s thumb. Instead, he sighed through his nose and leaned into the touch with a smile. He trailed his fingers along Phil’s forearm, appreciating how Phil shivered at the sensation. “Hi.”

Phil’s eyes quickly flickered over Dan’s face, and his smile grew. “You’re pretty,” he stated simply, as if it were just a fact that the whole world should know.

Dan turned to hide his face in Phil’s shoulder in embarrassment.

“You can’t just say things like that,” he whined. “They do weird things to me and make me feel all soft.”

Phil’s hand moved from caressing Dan’s face to rest comfortingly on Dan’s waist. “But it’s true! And I love seeing you blush when I tell you so.” Phil wiggled his elbow. “Come on, let me see your pretty face.”

Grumbling false complaints, Dan slowly lifted his head to look Phil in the eye.

“There it is,” Phil whispered adoringly. He shifted his hand up from Dan’s waist to gently cup his face, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb.

Dan felt his blush intensify and looked away for a moment to try to regain his composure. When he finally felt ready to look at Phil again, he found that Phil’s gaze moving slowly over his face, taking in every detail.

It was a whole new feeling. Dan had realized throughout the day that, yes, Phil did actually kind of like him, but the way Phil looked at him now was so much more - more even than just moments before. This was an intense gaze, which intimidated Dan a little, but mostly he was just overwhelmed with happiness at the brilliant realization that Phil liked him. Dan felt wanted in a way that stretched beyond just the physical, and he was overcome with emotion.

His eyes could no longer stay still on Phil’s. They trailed over his features, just as Phil’s were doing to him, and took in the sharp cheekbones, the beaked nose, the freckles and spots, the way his pink lips contrasted his pale skin. And then all he could look at were Phil’s lips. Their soft curve into Phil’s small half-smile, the way they pouted out slightly. They looked soft. Kissable.

Are they as soft as they look? Would he kiss me if I asked?

Dan somehow managed to pull his eyes up from Phil’s mouth to see his eyes instead. He wanted to know what Phil was thinking and know if he had any chance.

Phil was still looking at Dan’s face, but it seemed his sights were stuck on Dan’s mouth. Dan felt a shiver course through him when he thought of what Phil might be thinking. His shiver seemed to jolt Phil out of his thoughts, as his eyes snapped up to meet Dan’s.

They stood still. Dan’s thoughts were caught in a constant loop of kiss me, kiss me, kiss me as he tried to work up the courage to ask, but he wasn’t sure he could bring himself to say the words.

Come on, just ask! You want to, and he seems like he wants to, and you just have to go for it. Just say it. He won’t say no. But what if he does? What if I’ve been reading the whole situation wrong?

As Dan’s internal crisis continued, Phil took a small step forward, eliminating the last traces of space between their bodies. Phil’s lips remained ever so slightly apart, like he wasn’t sure he had Dan’s permission.

Emboldened by Phil’s move, Dan made a decision. Slowly, his eyelids fluttered closed, and he leaned in the smallest bit so their lips brushed.

Phil’s hand on Dan’s cheek slid back into his hair, just below the edge of the Pooh hat, and brushed his fingers through the curls. Dan sighed into the kiss, and Phil’s lips moved softly against Dan’s.

It was a little tentative, and their noses bumped together awkwardly at first, but it felt right. They kept it slow and purposeful, just exploring the feeling of each other. Dan wasn’t sure he’d ever had such a perfect first kiss, and he drowned in the sensation.

They pulled apart not too long after the kiss began. Bashful smiles grew on their faces as their eyes opened, and Dan bit his lip in an attempt to keep from grinning too much. Phil’s tongue poked between his teeth a little, and Dan’s heart melted.

Phil’s fingers disentangled from Dan’s, and Dan panicked.

He doesn’t want to hold my hand anymore? What did I do wrong? Did he hate the kiss? But then why did he smile? What no-

Dan’s thoughts were cut off by the feeling of Phil’s now-free arm wrapping around Dan’s shoulder and pulling him in to cuddle into Phil’s side. Phil’s other hand found Dan’s again, and he clasped them in front of their bodies.

Oh. Dan giggled. That’s better, then.

He rested his head on Phil’s shoulder, careful to tip his head far enough backwards that he wouldn’t dig his Pooh ears into Phil’s neck.

This is the best first date ever.

They had missed most of the fireworks just staring at each other and kissing, but they caught the grand finale. Phil periodically made small noises of wonder and amazement that Dan wished he could bottle up and keep forever.

Too soon, the fireworks ended. Phil turned to Dan with a tired, but happy, smile, which Dan returned.

They made their way back through the crowd and to the parking lot, still hand-in-hand. It was a bit of a long walk, given the number of people trying to leave and the crazy distance from the park to the parking lot, but they were content to walk it in silence. The silence was comfortable, like a warm hug or a soft kiss. Dan wished the moment never had to end.

They eventually made it to Dan’s car. Dan held the door open for Phil and shut it behind him, then went to open his own door and sit down behind the wheel.

Phil let out a deep, happy sigh. “That was really fun.”

“Yeah, I had a really good time,” Dan sighed happily as he started the car. He didn’t move the car yet, though. Instead, he sat back in his seat and looked over at Phil with a small smile.

Phil’s hand crept forward and caught Dan’s over the middle console, squeezing gently.

“I’m sorry you missed some of the fireworks, though. That was kind of the whole reason we came,” Dan said plainly, like he felt like it had to be said. He wasn’t sorry at all, actually, as what made Phil miss the fireworks was infinitely better than the fireworks themselves. He was also fairly certain Phil wasn’t too bothered by it, but he felt like it had to be said, anyway.

“Hmm, I’m not. But, hey, that gives us something to do next time,” Phil said casually, looking over at Dan, the ghost of a smile playing at his lips.

It took Dan’s brain a moment to process Phil’s words

“Next time?” he asked hopefully, a wide grin spreading across his face. Please, this was amazing.

“Yep. Maybe we’ll go to Epcot to see those fireworks, instead.” Phil smirked. “Or maybe we’ll miss those, too.”

Dan’s heart skipped a bit and red flooded his cheeks.

Fuck. He wants to kiss me more? He wants to do this again. Oh my god.

Laughter outside the car jolted Dan out of his thoughts. A family walked past, and Dan watched them find their car.

“Well,” he began. “I guess we’d better start driving home.”

He put the car in gear and moved them towards the line of cars trying to leave the park. Phil started talking about his favorite funny moments of the day, and Dan chimed in with a few Phil missed. Phil also insisted that Dan tell him he was right about the Pooh hats.

“They were the most important thing. They completed the whole picture. You’re the one always going on and on about aesthetics! There’s no way you think they weren’t the best idea ever,” Phil argued playfully. He had a smug grin on his face and he poked Dan’s arm a few times to drive his point home.

God, he’s cute. He so wants me to agree with him, but I can’t give up that easily, Dan thought mischievously. A smirk formed on his face as he started to rile Phil up about it.

“Well…” he drawled. “Winnie the Pooh doesn’t fit my aesthetic, especially not right now. Yellow ears with this pink and blue shirt? Major clashing goin’ on here. I definitely look ridiculous.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Phil’s jaw drop in mock outrage. Dan’s smirk grew as his plan succeeded.

“Winnie the Pooh fits everyone’s aesthetic! There’s never a wrong time to wear Pooh ears, and looking ridiculous is the best part of it! Plus, we looked so cute together that it had to have been worth it,” Phil declared indignantly.

“Hmmmm…” Dan hummed thoughtfully. “I suppose we were a little cute, maybe.”

Phil squawked. “A little? Only a little? I’ll have you know we were definitely the cutest people anyone saw at the Magic Kingdom all day,” he insisted. “Everyone was jealous of us.” He crossed his arms with a huff, shooting Dan a sour glare. “It was the best idea.”

Dan finally couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore, letting it out in a loud burst absolutely drenched in fondness. He reached a hand out and pried Phil’s arms apart so he could hold Phil’s hand.

“I’m just messing with you, Phil! I loved the hats and the cute couple aesthetic and how jealous we made everyone else. They were the best idea.” He chanced a glance over at Phil, who had finally relaxed back into his seat after tensely arguing his points. Dan sent him an affectionate smile. “Thank you. They made my day. Well,” he added after a beat, “maybe not quite. The fireworks would be hard to beat.”

Phil blushed heavily, biting his lip to hide a grin. “Good. Great. The hats and the… fireworks.”

Dan pulled their clasped hands to his face and pressed a delicate kiss to the back of Phil’s hand, delighting in the quiet giggle it tugged from Phil, then let go of Phil’s hand to put his hand back on the steering wheel.

After a few minutes of companionable silence, they moved on to talking about their jobs and why they worked at Disney, describing the incomparable feeling of bringing the magical joy to everyone who visited. Somehow, these conversations led them all the way back to Phil’s house. Dan wasn’t sure where the time went, but he wished it would come back.

He pulled over in front of Phil’s house and put the car in park, resting his hand on the middle console.

I really don’t want this to end.

Apparently Phil didn’t want it to end either, as he made no move to get up. He just sat, staring at his house for a moment, then he turned to Dan.

“I really did have a great time,” he said quietly, reaching out to play with Dan’s fingers.

Dan smiled softly, meeting Phil’s gaze. “Me too,” he whispered fondly. He moved his hand slightly so it was holding Phil’s, and he squeezed gently.

“Thanks for treating me. It was sweet of you.”

Dan’s cheeks flushed, and he looked down. “You deserve to feel special,” he mumbled.

Soft fingers brushed against Dan’s jaw, carefully raising his face so he would look at Phil.

Phil’s so beautiful. How did I even get here?

“So do you,” Phil whispered. “So, if it’s okay with you, I’ll take you out next time.”

Dan nodded slowly. He was completely speechless with happiness. Phil had just confirmed that this would happen again, and Dan was thrilled and just a bit overwhelmed, especially with how Phil’s hand caressed his cheek and how close Phil’s face was to his.

And then Phil’s face came even closer, and Dan’s eyes closed as their lips touched.

It was a soft and sweet kiss, shorter than the ones earlier that night, and it left Dan wanting more as Phil pulled away.

“Goodnight,” Phil whispered, his breath fanning across Dan’s face.

“Goodnight,” Dan replied softly, his eyes locked on Phil’s. He wished the night didn’t have to end, that he could spend more time with Phil, but he didn’t push it. Maybe a different night, but not right now. The rest of their day had already been perfect, anyway.

Phil smiled, then turned and got out of the car, quickly walking up the walkway to his house.

Dan stared after him in a daze, reaching up and touching his lips with his fingers. He let out a lovestruck sigh, then smiled wide as he started to drive back home.

A memory came to him as he drove, and he smiled, then laughed.

He definitely didn’t need to worry about some six-year-old coming and stealing his Phil away.

#phan #phanfic #fluff #getting together #au #prince and his helper #first date #disney fic #food mention

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selfishblogarticles · 6 years

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sleeping your way to the top: how to use sleep to fuel your dreams

“I've got a dream worth more than my sleep” and other quotes like it have been adopted by millennials as the catalyst for late nights fueled by energy drinks followed by caffeine-induced mornings, but is this really the best way to achieve our dreams?

We are drawn to the idea that the only pathway to success is through sacrifice, pain, and a series of trials and tribulations. It makes success sexy and alluring with a dash of exclusivity.

If achievement means throwing everything you have at something and giving up anything for it, then failure (or at least consenting to mediocrity ) must equate overindulgence and laziness making sleep and the idea of rest it’s mortal enemy.

We see The Successful as these superior humans running purely on the steam of their dreams. However, time and time again we read blurbs of celebrities who are forced to cancel shows and appearances because their bodies had simply reached their limits.

Chronic illness, obesity, reduce sex drive, and mental illness have all been linked to consistent sleep deprivation.

While hustle, sacrifice, and self-discipline are major ingredients to living the life of your dreams as with everything moderation is key and balance is a necessity.

The national sleep foundation recommends adults should aim to reach somewhere between 7-9 hours of sleep each day, in order, to promote productivity and wellness.32% of successful people go to sleep at 11pm with 28% waking at 5AM (an hour shy of the recommended time) and 22% waking at 7AM.For most of us, that means going to bed sometime around 10pm and rising between 5 to 7AM. Leaving roughly 15 to 17 of waking time to get our carpe diem on.

still, no matter what it always seems like there is never enough time in the day to accomplish all of our task nor enough sleep to provide us with the energy to complete them efficiently!

So what do we do? Neglect ourselves and recklessly pursue our dreams with fingers crossed that we don’t self-destruct? Hideaway and resolve to love only our beds and our moms for all eternity?

Not quite.

The key to mending our relationship between our dreams and sleep lies in our personal understanding of how we need to sleep then creating a sleep routine and sticking to it.

Sounds easy enough right...

Many successful people have figured out how to make sleep work for them to propel them closer to their dreams by implementing self-specific sleeping regimens.

This requires an extreme amount of self-discipline and attention to your current sleep patterns to see if they are working for or against you.

Some important questions to ask your self when mapping out your sleep plan are:

What is a realistic bedtime for me?

The best way to start mapping out your sleep is to sit down and plan out your day the night before jotting down all of your must do’s and the time it takes to accomplish them.

Having it all laid out before you can make it easier to find to time to make sleep a priority. Start with planning for 8 hours of sleep starting roughly 3 hours after your last meal of the day. Moving your time up or down based on your self-evaluation paying specific attention to how you feel each morning.

What time of day do I feel most energized?

Leveraging your peak productivity times can make a dramatic impact on your grind.

For example: if you are most active and creative at nighttime it makes no sense to force yourself to sleep at 9pm just to toss and turn for hours in bed because your brain is still wired.

Tip: doing a brain dump before bed has been shown to help quiet the restless minds of creatives in order to reach premium Zs.

Try buying a journal to place on your nightstand and before bed write out a list of task for tomorrow or simply jot down everything on your mind laying it to rest as you close the book and place it out of sight for the night until the next morning.

How do I feel when I wake up?

This question should be asked repeatedly while setting your bedtime. All sleep in not created equally and the quality of your sleep is important. Poor quality can leave you feeling sluggish even after a full 8 hours.

How often do I wake up during the night?

Waking repeatedly during the night is a sure sign that you are not getting your best sleep.

tip: if you wake up during the middle of the night and are unable to fall asleep after 10-15 mins that light exercise or activity could help you get resettled.

You may also consider using a journal to write down any ideas that come to you at night to be revisited when you wake.

Is my sleeping space sacred?

Sleep researcher Shawn Stevenson, states that your bedroom should be a sanctuary for sleep. Setting you bedroom to around 68 degrees is optimal, keeping it dark as possible, and keeping electronics far away are some of his suggestions you can read the full article on 21 health sleep habits here.

I, personally, use sleep sounds to get in the mood to snooze accompanied by my trusty diffuser,

I’m sure by now your thinking wtf Jade!

if I don’t have time to get everything I need done what makes you think I have time to conduct a multi-step sleep analysis on myself and develop a sleep regimen?

Listen, love, I know you have places to go and people to see (or do depending on what you are into ) but You have to make sleep a priority.

Although sleep can seem like a waste of time, it is responsible for a wide range of processes that help us concentrate on important tasks and make sound decisions. It is a vital part of your health regimen akin to eating healthy and working out regularly. There is no reason to ever feel like your racing toward success; be patient with yourself and enjoy the process.

At the end of the day, you have to decide if it is more important to complete a lot of things haphazardly and in a fog or to put forth your best work and crush your goals like a boss?

#sleep sleepsmarter rest #motivation girlboss entrepreneur habitsofhighlysuccessfulpeople #success #business #selflove #selfcare #selfishblog #jlselfish #mentalhealth #health #wellness #yoga #diffuser #meditation #passion #creative #influencer #contentcreator #youtuber

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toumakibangs · 6 years

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This is my family: I found it all on my own. [Part V. Christmas]

SERVICE NOTE: Here we are with the last prompts of the TouMaki Month! I’m so very sorry for the delay, but I went long with writing because of work issues and after that I’ve been without internet for a while (still am, technically)! If you’re reading this, it means that he last fics have been queued and they’re being uploaded as we speak: a post every two hours, from 3pm to 5am, CEST time. My advice is to check the blog if you don’t want to miss any, because if you’re going to browse the tags (‘toumaki month 2018’ and ‘toumaki’), Tumblr will only show you three posts per blog.

Anyway, at 7am CEST time we’ll upload a recap post featuring ALL the entries to the Month, so you can browse them more easily (I’m also saving the final Goodbyes and Thank You-s for then).

My apologies again for the wobbly schedule and I hope you’ll enjoy these last fireworks!

Prompt: “Quiet! They can hear us”

Jules’ Notes: The long-awaited conclusion of our multichaptered SingleDads!AU! :D

The package that Makishima is holding hits the doorframe with a thud and Toudou hisses.

- Quiet! They can hear us!

- They could hear us just fine even an hour ago, but I didn’t see you getting so worked up and worried over that, earlier.

- That’s a lie and you know it!

- I had to press a pillow into your face to muffle the noise.

- It was just. One. Time. Besides, this is different: I would have never wanted to get interrupted by either of our toddlers, but them hearing us during this? It’s going to ruin their Christmas, and I cannot allow it.

Makishima regards him with high eyebrows and a newly found respect.

- Neither can I. Which is why I was trying to be as silent as possible. But evidently I was not silent enough.

- Let me help. They called me Sleeping Beauty in high-school because I could move in perfect silence, especially while dealing with bicycles.

- I asked Arakita and he said they all called you Forest Ninja behind your back.

Toudou loses his composure.

- That’s so lame and absolutely not true!

- Shut up!!! They will hear us!

Toudou slaps his hand over his mouth and lets Makishima take the lead.

It’s Christmas night, Makishima invited Toudou and his child over to celebrate the holiday the Western way and right now they’re leaving tiny, wrapped-up bikes (complete with helmets and training wheels) under the tree for Sakamichi and Sangaku to find, come morning.

They’re also easing their way into a relationship that looks more and more promising as days go by. It’s not the first night they spend together, but it’s the first time they do it with the kids in the house. Said kids are currently sleeping in Sakamichi’s bed (large enough for the two of them), although not out of their own volition: they’ve tried to stay up late to meet Santa, offer him warm milk and biscuits and ask him how he manages to bring presents to all the good children of the world in one night, but sleep won them over a little before 11pm. The parents tucked them in and were planning on setting up the morning scene before retiring into the privacy of Makishima’s bedroom themselves, but someone had to drink the milk and eat the cookies, and the couch was very comfortable, and they had not indulged in some little display of affection for the whole day – so one thing led to another and it wasn’t until late into the night that they got up and retrieved the presents.

The bikes were Toudou’s idea, one that Makishima agreed with wholeheartedly: there were biking circuits at the parks they attended and paths easily accessible in the mountains that the boys would have loved to ride. Engaging in some kind of sport would have done both Sakamichi and Sangaku good, and they had been talking endlessly about bikes since the time they had crossed a bunch of cyclist during their last trip to Hakone. Their enthusiasm for the sport had skyrocketed when they had learned that both their parents were well versed in the art of road racing, and held a special interest in climbing hills. That bit of information had been a pleasant surprise for the adults too, one that had kept them up over a beer or three in Toudou’s apartment one evening when Tadokoro’s sons had invited Sakamichi and Shunsuke for a sleepover and Sangaku was spending the night with Toudou’s sister. They had attested, on that occasion, that both of them indeed sported the leg muscles of people who cycled regularly.

When the bikes are safely nestled under the lower branches of the tree, partially hidden by the garlands and shiny baubles that he and Sakamichi picked together last year to celebrate their first Christmas as a family (but still very much visible for the attentive eyes of over-excited children who are looking for presents), Makishima stands up and offers his hand to Toudou, leading him into his bedroom. He closes the door without making a sound, and gasps softly (more out of pleasure than of surprise) at the warm body suddenly pressed against his back. He trails his fingers over the toned arms loosely draped around his waist and leans back until he only has to turn his head to press his lips on Toudou’s cheek and jaw, making him shiver.

- Hello.

Toudou finds his lips again and Makishima turns into his arms to kiss him in a more comfortable position. It passed virtually no time since they snogged each other on the couch, but the privacy of a bedroom awakens even the most dormant libido and it’s not long since both of them feel the need of make things horizontal and take them onto a mattress. It’s new, this kind of longing: though a late bloomer, Makishima has always been familiar with sexual urges and the craving of an intimate touch, but while in his early twenties, also thanks to an alternate lifestyle and work environment, he’d given in to all of them and indulged in lots of sex, casual and not, now it’s different. He’s not changed in the sense that he’s lost interest in sex, but he’d had other priorities, lately, and found another kind of balance that was too precious to disrupt with flings and too demanding to leave him time for a relationship. But Toudou fitted in that balance because he had stemmed from it, falling into Makishima’s lap when he least expected it, when he’d given up on this side of his life – maybe not for good, but certainly for the time being. Toudou makes his stomach clench and his hands itch, he awakens latent cravings and sates them with an expert touch and no rush. Being with Toudou is comfortable in the way relationships while being a single gay parent never are. Their schedules don’t always match, but they do very often. They both understand when the other has to call off their planned date because his child has an upset stomach, or because the day was just too long. They don’t roll their eyes when the other ends up talking about his kid for most of the time, because they know what it feels like, needing to vent, needing a friendly ear, needing someone that knows what it’s like. Being with Toudou when it’s just the two of them behind closed doors, toddlers safely forgotten for a couple of hours, is satisfying in all the ways that count – fulfilling, even when their evenings don’t end in an orgasm. They haven’t been able to really sleep together many times, so far: there are just so many nights off a single parent can take, but Makishima doesn’t feel sappy to admit they’ve been magical. And magical is this one too, and not only because it’s Christmas.

Makishima tugs him down on the bed and kisses back, soft and pliant, and Toudou rediscovers what it means caring for someone that is not his son. Because Makishima, in a totally different way from Sangaku, rekindles his instinct to protect and care for someone else. For an adult, for an equal, for an independent human being that doesn’t really need a shelter, but you want to provide for anyway – because everyone needs a little pampering every now and then and, above all, because it makes you happy. And it makes Toudou happy indeed, to be wanted like this, to be craved for the man he is. Makishima’s hands on his body are a blessed reminder that he’s still made of flesh and blood, and that he has yet to stop giving on such department. The time they spend together with or without their sons, the laughs they share, the intimacy – he feels like a perpetually starving man whom only these things can sate. Makishima quenches his thirst and eases his mind, holds him up when he feels wobbly and shows him some colour when he feels blue. Makishima reminds him every day that being a single parent doesn’t mean being single in every sense of the word, not to mention alone. Makishima sends sparks through his body and milks it dry like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and it probably is, now that he thinks about it. And it can be even if they both are responsible for two young children with a troubled history. He sleeps better, when he does so with Makishima. He wakes up much more rested, after passing an evening or a couple of hours alone together – and it’s such an addicting sensation that he’s not ashamed to admit he’s been doing everything in his powers to keep feeling it. To make sure nights like this one can be more than a sweet exception.

They didn’t go all the way back in the living room: too risky, and maybe too soon, but they can now – and although they take their sweet time, it almost feels like release comes too soon. It always does, in their opinion. And tonight, more than ever, when they lay back after tidying themselves up (at least one positive thing about having toddlers around is that you’re never out of tissues or wet wipes), half-clothed and drowsy, they feel the bulky and quite cumbersome presence of the elephant in the room. Toudou addresses it and his doubts, but he knows he’s speaking for both of them and maybe, just maybe, he hopes that the night, on virtue of being Christmas and, therefore, holding a magic of its own, will bring the best answers.

- What do we do, now?

Makishima curls up on his left side to mirror Toudou’s stance and look at him.

- About what?

- This. Us.

Makishima sighs and rubs his face and eyes. Toudou instinctively brings up a hand to rub his arm and caress his head. Makishima holds onto it.

- I don’t know, honestly.

- Come here, please.

Makishima rolls into his embrace, but Toudou feels like he’s the one being held and supported – that’s the kind of power Makishima has on him.

- I… I don’t know if I can keep doing this, Maki-chan.

Makishima tenses and Toudou makes a shushing, soothing sound not very different from the ones he uses with Sangaku, when he fusses.

- …d-do you want to quit?

Toudou hugs him tighter.

- No. Quite the contrary, actually. Do you want to quit, now?

Makishima shakes his head, and pulls him closer.

- Not at all. Quite the contrary, if I could have it my way.

They sigh in unison, minds reeling but tension slightly dissipated now that they have implicitly stated they’re on the same page about their feelings for each other.

- What do we do, then?

Makishima kisses him, and although it doesn’t solve the issue it’s still a welcome, not to mention of fundamental importance in order to put things into perspective, interlude.

- Do you think we should tell the kids?

Toudou sighs.

- They will start asking questions, if we keep this up. Better yet, I feel that if we decide we’re being more open about this and more or less officialising it, they should know the truth.

Makishima nods.

- To be honest, I’m more worried about the reaction of all the other people who might hear about this, and how Sakamichi might respond to that.

Toudou kisses his forehead.

- I know what you mean. But it’s not like we don’t have a trusted net of friends and relatives who might have our backs and, by extension, our kids’. I can’t promise everything will always go smoothly, but I’m positive that our children will always have a safe circle of people they can rely on, and they will always know how much they’re loved.

- I really don’t want to disrupt Sakamichi’s life, right now. Or put my selfish needs before his well-being.

Toudou swallows. He’s asked himself the same thing, over and over, in the past weeks: is it being selfish, on a parent’s part, to think about their own chances at happiness?

- I know I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, if my actions directly caused Sangaku harm or distress, after everything he’s been through and after everything we’ve accomplished together.

- Exactly.

- …but I also think that kids can only benefit from their parents’ happiness. I mean… I’m better, when I’m with you. I feel better, afterwards. More energetic, more relaxed. And Sangaku notices. Because I’m better with him too. I certainly smile more.

Makishima squeezes him in an emotional display of agreement.

- If we tell the children and act transparent, spending so much time at each other’s places wouldn’t be so weird or unusual anymore.

- Indeed, it wouldn’t. Although I believe I will have to hold onto my and Manami’s apartment quite tightly: he has developed a routine and it’s given him a stability I wouldn’t have hoped for. He has improved a lot, lately.

- Me too: Sakamichi has got used to his house and his room – he likes it a lot, here, has a sense of belonging. I can’t take that away from him. Certainly not now.

They sigh again, although it has a more melancholic sound to it, now. This time, it’s Toudou who leans in for a kiss.

- It’s not ideal, but I fear it’s the best we can hope for, at the moment.

Makishima agrees and kisses back.

- We’ll make do, for now.

They are woken up by the shrill cries of over-excited children who just found out Santa did indeed leave something for them under the tree – and of course they have to tell their parents first, even if it means barging into Makishima’s bedroom and climbing both on the bed and on top of their respective fathers to jump on their legs until they’re awake. Luckily, they pulled apart during the night, and Sakamichi and Sangaku didn’t catch them in compromising positions.

They get pulled into the living room as soon as they’re awake enough to keep their eyes open for more than three seconds, and once in charge of screaming toddlers running around the sofa and the tree in anticipation, they do indeed forget everything about sleep.

The bikes elicit the intended reaction, and they spend a good part of the early morning mounting all the pieces, taking pictures and checking the weather to promise the children that yes, if they behave and agree on dressing appropriately they can go in the courtyard and try their new bolides after breakfast. Which is a loud and messy affair. But an extremely joyful one, as well.

They manage to have a couple of hours of untainted fun in the open before it starts snowing again, and although they allow the kids to play a little among the snowflakes, it’s soon clear that they’d better get back inside. There’s a little protesting, but the prospect of more presents to open and of a second breakfast made of pancakes is enough to bribe the kids into agreeing.

Sangaku and Sakamichi drew each other Christmas cards at kindergarten, and obviously prepared more elaborate ones for their fathers, full of childish love and devotion and, in Sakamichi’s case, glitter. Toudou and Makishima pretend they don’t see each other’s wet eyes as they thank their kids profusely and coddle them shamelessly.

Toudou has gifted Sakamichi a Love!Hime set of bike decorations and hat, while Makishima got Sangaku a baby-blue backpack for their excursion with tiny angel wings sprouting from the sides. As the children talk excitedly about their new possessions and enjoy the holiday, Toudou touches Makishima’s arm to get his attention.

- Actually, I have something for you too.

It’s a golden necklace that Makishima has mentioned during one of their dates. It’s at the same time perfect and absurd, because Makishima got Toudou a similar one that he, too, noticed during the same date. The instinct is to jump each other’s bones right there right now, but they can’t in front of the kids and settle for helping each other putting on their respective necklaces, although with a little more touching than necessary, maybe.

Then the kids stop playing to look at them, and ask about the presents they’ve just exchanged, because it’s weird for adults to do that, isn’t it?

It takes them just a quick glance to understand and silently agree that yes, this is it, because the atmosphere is perfect, they have the best excuse to introduce the matter and it’s Christmas, which kind of means nothing can go wrong today - therefore this is not only the right moment, but the one and only too. Toudou swallows and clears his throat.

- Sangaku, Sakamichi… – he starts, and he exchanges a pregnant look with Makishima, who smiles at him, takes his hand and nods, giving him courage. The kids look at them expectantly. Toudou takes a deep breath, but Makishima senses his uneasiness and comes to his rescue.

- Boys, there is something we’d like to tell you.

#toumaki month 2018 #submission #toumaki #julesdrenages

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divinediva13-blog · 6 years

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Alcoholism

Tonight I want to talk about the affects of Alcoholism and how this impacts Relationships. Before I met my current partner I was with a Man who abstained from Alcohol - Why? Because his Mother was an Alcoholic and he didn’t like what he saw and grew up with - And didn’t want to take the same path as his Mother.

Many people who choose not to drink alcohol do so for the same reasons - or have seen the severe affects alcohol can induce on the human psyche.

Growing up I enjoyed nothing more than having a nice cold bourbon at the pub. My Mother did not drink a lot but would drink on occasions, and I guess through my upbringing I knew that getting ‘blind’ wasn’t necessary and was able to have a few drinks here and there without issue.

When I broke up with my ex partner I met a Man who ticked all of the boxes I wanted in my ideal man. He was charming, he was sweet, flirtatious, easy going , fun loving and very persistent. He and I were also quite drunk the night we met, celebrating a Public Holiday at one of the local pubs in our city.

Until this point in my life I alcoholism did not directly impact my life. My ex and I had other issues that split us apart, such his lack of motivation and inability to hold down a decent job. It put pressure on our relationship and as a result we split.

Meeting my new man, and looking to live a ‘new’ life with a fresh start, I recall our first date and him cooking me a glamorous meal and bought over a bottle of champagne. Although by rule of thumb I would not drink with my meals let alone throughout the week, I let my guard down and chose to enjoy the romantic moment in my fresh start.

That following weekend he came to my house, and he bought with him 3 beers to sit down and drink to watch the footy. This concept was very new to me as I had been with a non-drinker for most of my adult life up until this point.

I recall thinking to myself that I needed to lighten up as people have social drinks all of the time, and yes I did enjoy a drink or two at times, maybe I had become uptight given my ex-partners alcoholic mother and the values it imposed on him.

The following week he came to stay and bought over a carton of beer. I was okay with it - after all he had demonstrated sensible drinking behaviours on the occasions I had spent time with him.

This is where it all began.

To get to the crux of the matter that I want to talk about, over a period of 3-6 months I progressively noticed his increased drinking habits.

He worked a 7am - 4pm job and I worked night shift - from 1pm to 11pm.

The hours we spent together (as he had moved into my unit) consisted of early mornings and late evenings from 11.30am onward.

Due to the fact I wasn’t home in the afternoon once he had finished work, I didn’t have a problem with him coming home and having a few beers. Understandably I also recognized that by the time I got home, he was extremely tired as he had been up since 7am that morning. However - I started to notice that it wasn’t just tiredness that was making him fall asleep on the lounge before I got home everynight - he was drinking a lot of alcohol while I wasn’t there.

During the week when I would arrive home, we would have a small conversation and he would pop himself off to bed, which was cool with me. I recall our first argument. It took me completely by surprise.

It was his sisters birthday and we had been invited to the pub to have dinner and drinks to celebrate.

I had an early/late shift that night. The dinner started at 7pm and I finished at 9pm. We spoke on the phone that afternoon and I recall him saying to me that he was happy to skip dinner, wait until I came home and we would go there together to have a few drinks after the dinner. I thought it was sweet.

I came home that evening pumped to go out and spend some time with him and his family - I found a note on the table - it was quite abusive hence the reason I was taken by surprise.

It stated something along the lines of his brother had come over, they decided to leave early (which was fine with me) and that he didn’t want any bullshit or for me to have a problem with it. And if I did - I could basically go get fucked.

Not once that night did I have a conversation with him about him leaving early of me having a problem with it. What I did have a problem with was the note he had left me and the abusive message.

I recall trying to phone him to find out what was going on. At first I honestly thought it was a joke. He didn’t answer his phone. It created an enormous amount of anxiety for me. I felt helpless, confused and unsure of what I had done to deserve this kind of treatment.

He pocket dialled me by accident - I could hear music in the background and him talking loudly. I thought he had attempted to call me but soon realised what had happened.

I tried him multiple times again - and finally he picked up. I asked him what the hell was going on, why he had left the note, and where he was. Little did I know at the time he had been drinking all afternoon - was totally innebriated and out of nowhere a rage kicked in.

He didn’t tell me where he was, he told me he didn’t want me to ruin his night and that he had every right to be out celebrating his sisters birthday without shit from me.

I was dumbfounded - I had no understanding of where his train of thought came from, why he thought that and why he was being so aggressive toward me.

I worked out there were only a few venues in town where he could be. Normally I would have just stopped it right there and hung up but I was so upset I wasn’t sure why this had happened and wanted to confront him.

I found him at one of the local bars - I recall walking up the stairs and he was surrounded by women. He turned over and saw me and then said in a loud voice ‘oh oh - and there she is right now’.

He had been talking about me to his sisters friends. And he was blind drunk.

I was embarrassed and furious - we argued in front of his sister and her friends. I felt terrible about causing a scene but just could not understand why he had treated me this way.

That was the very first time. It ended in a loud argument outside the front of the venue followed by me actually punching him in the face. He was vicious - I was sober. I don’t condone violence either. I soon learned you don’t fuck with a man who is completely drunk and has a trigger switch.

The next morning...

He apologised profusely and so remorsefully. I accepted it. It was our first big fight but I had to voice my opinion and ask all the hard questions of how it all eventuated. His response - “I don’t know - It was stupid - I was drunk - I’m sorry - It will never happen again.”

These words have become all too familiar in our continuing relationship over the last 10 years.

I’m not going to go into every single event that has happened in this particular post. There are too many to name.

Skipping forward to tonight - So it is his sisters 30th birthday.

We have many periods of abstinence drinking alcohol during our time together. Over the last month we have been drinking on a Saturday night at home - having a games night with a female friend I reconnected with recently. It has been tame, controlled and the nights have been full of fun and many laughs.

Again - I begin to think to myself - I can trust You. We have rebuilt our trust and set our boundaries and expectations around alcohol and I’m comfortable with you going out on your own and drinking without me. (which is usually the better outcome)

I dropped him off to the venue this afternoon and asked him to be on his best behavior and reiterated my anxieties about him drinking and for him to take these feelings into consideration. He promised me he would not have a late night and would be home by 6.30pm for dinner and a quiet night.

We are quite broke this week so I believed sincerely that he would do the right thing, make an appearance and have a few beers and come home.

Each time he has made these promises they turn awry. It never works out the way it is planned and this is from past experiences.

But silly me holds hope that THIS time - Things are going to be different.

THIS TIME he is going to respect our conversation and agreement - this time he KNOWS how these things go down, has learnt his lesson from past experiences and won’t let me down on his promise to me.

Stupid Me.

I hated myself this afternoon when I dropped him off. In my mind I did doubt him - then I beat myself up for thinking so negatively and being so untrusting of him. I think to myself ‘You are the one with the problem - Not him’. Have faith in him.

He let me down.

I dropped him off at 4.45pm this afternoon - It is now 2am in the morning and I’m sitting here writing this post. He’s still not home, and it’s starting to look like he probably won’t come home.

My gut instinct told me this afternoon this would happen - And I didn’t listen to it.

Fool me once - Shame on You - Fool me 20 times Shame on Me.

I feel like a fool.

After almost 10 years he still cannot commit to me. I should have known the first time. Quotes like ‘A leopard will never change his spots’ come to mind.

Do I tolerate it? Do I keep silent? Do I confront him about it.

His Alcoholism has had him locked in jail, he has ended up in assaults and has recently finished community service for his most recent.

When he is not drinking, he works hard, strives to be sweet and attentive, is extremely creative and I’m aware he lacks self confidence.

I don’t know what to do now. I feel lost, abandoned and am losing hope.

I’m of the belief that not one single person will read my post tonight - Leaving my thought to float about the internet like a lost butterfly. But if you happen to stumble across it, I ask your opinion - What would you do.?: Because I don’t know....

Divine Diva

#alcohol #alcoholism #mentalhealth #relationships #relationshipadvice #alcoholandrelationships #mentalabuse #needyouropinion #help #helpme #whatwouldyoudo #aa #abusiverelationships #alcoholic #recoveringalcoholic #ineedadvice #adviceonalcohol #feelinglost

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ladyhannahjane · 7 years

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How to Create a Study Routine

Hi, guys! So I realized between the last #Study Saturdays post and this one that the task of making a study schedule would be made a lot easier if you first had a study routine. So this week I will explain how to make a study routine. Next week will be about study schedules.

Also, I am defining the two a bit differently. Study routine is more fixed and study schedule is both more detailed and depends upon your work for that week.

(P.S. I didn’t go to public school -- I was homeschooled -- so I’m not very knowledgeable at how to study for that. This post is based on my experience at college.)

There’s so many different methods to do this. I will explain two of those ways.

The first step to creating any study schedule is having a place to write it down. I recommend working everything out on paper first and, if you prefer digital calendars, to then transfer it to Google Calendars or whatever electronic calendar you use. (The great thing about Google Calendars is that you would be able to make a separate calendar for your studying that’s apart from your personal calendar.)

If you prefer written, then there’s some great free printables made by Tumblr users for the express purpose of making a study schedule. My personal favorite is this one by @theorganisedstudent, or you could browse through my #free stuff tag, because I have a thing for printables LOL.

The second thing is to write down the times. My day usually runs from 7am to 11pm right now, so for every hour I am awake I make a slot for. (However, using printables means you have a limited amount of time slots, so you have to find a way around this. I ended up not including the times of day when I had classes and went by an hourly basis. If you could go by every 30 minutes, that would be great too!)

I started by blocking in all of the permanent fixtures in my week -- things like class times, work, extra circulars, commute times, and sleep (I go to sleep a lot earlier on the weekdays than on the weekends). These are events that happen regularly every week and will most likely not change.

Now here’s where we split into different methods.

Method 1

Method 1 is the looser and more flexible one. It’s great if you have teachers that like to change due dates and suddenly announce homework not mentioned in the syllabus (grr).

There’s three types of “sessions” we’re going to be working with in Method 1:

Study sessions: The title is pretty self-explanatory.

Fun sessions: These sessions are so you can have set times where you just enjoy yourself and don’t get over-stressed by school.

Responsibility sessions: These are for chores, running errands, and just general “getting stuff done.”

Each session’s time will be more or less depending upon what your life is like. For example, although I am currently working right now, during the fall and spring semesters I am a full-time student, so I will be able to devote the bulk of my energy to school. But if you have a job, you probably won’t be able to spend 6 hours a day studying.

Look at the free, unblocked time you have every day and add up how many hours that is. Now it’s time for the math-y part.

Here’s how I calculate how long each session should be:

Study sessions: They say for every one hour you spend in class, you should spend two hours studying. I will be taking 18 hours, so I multiplied that by 2 and then divided it by 7 (for every day of the week). I roughly estimate I should be doing about 5 hours of studying a day then. (EW.) These should then be divided into 2-3 hours long each. (And note that doesn’t mean you should be studying 2 hours straight. I recommend either using the Pomodoro technique or studying for 50 minutes, taking a 10-15 minute break, and then repeating.)

Fun sessions: This is pretty fixed. You need to about 6 hours every week just to relax and chill. You can divide this up however you want and place these 6 hours anywhere you choose. I like to have 30 minutes every evening to just pamper myself and then the remaining 3 1/2 hours I spend with my best friends on Sunday.

Responsibility sessions: I don’t have a lot of adulting I have to do right now (thank goodness), so this takes me about 1-3 hours a week to get all my errands run, my space tidied, and my chores done. I usually reserve these tasks for Saturday.

Now that you have roughly the blocks, it’s time to place them into your schedule. There’s really no other trick for this than to work and rework it until it suits you. Be realistic, but don’t overwork yourself. Try to leave one day a week (I choose Sundays) where you have a significantly lighter workload, and use this day to recharge.

Notice that within your studying blocks, you don’t have to decide what subject you will be focusing on. If you don’t feel like working on X right now, you don’t have to -- you can work on Y. It’s for this method that a study schedule (which will be discussed next Saturday) is most useful.

Method 2

The first step to Method 2, which is a bit more rigid (and which I personally work better with, since I like structure) is to take a look at your subjects and rank in levels of difficulty: easy, medium, and hard. Factor in whether a subject requires a lot of reading or is a struggle to understand or takes practice (like math). @thaniastudies has a great method for ranking classes here.

Hard classes get 2 hours per day of studying.

Medium classes get 1 hour per day of studying.

Easy classes get 30 minutes per day of studying.

Then block in your schedule. This is really up to you LOL, customize it as you want. Because this method says what you should be studying, it’s requires more discipline, but if you ever have those moments when you look at your workload and don’t know where to start, this should help conquer that feeling.

This took so effing long to write. 😂😂 Hope it was helpful thougggghhhh and next week is Study Schedule. Have a lovely week, y’all!

#mine #study saturdays #studyblr #study tips #masterpost #my masterpost #College Tips #college prep #back to school

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strmyweather · 7 years

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“We rise / and we fall / and we break / and we make / our mistakes”

(This is Part II of a multi-part post. Read the back story here.)

I’ve written before about the power of community when it comes to exercise, and recently read an old article in the New York Times that makes the same point regarding diet and general longevity—that healthy habits are often mutually reinforcing, but only as long as there’s a network of support. Almost everyone I know has heard me gush about how much I loved my Philadelphia CrossFit gym and its associated social network, and although the move back to North Carolina has overall been an extremely positive change, it took me a while to find the right exercise fit once I got here. Every place I tried was missing something—either the location wasn’t convenient, the class times didn’t work with my schedule, or the coaching style wasn’t a good fit. I briefly found ‘my tribe’ at a brand-new CF gym—that ultimately closed after less than a year for financial reasons, its members fanning out across the Triangle to all manner of other facilities.

Out of frustration, disillusionment, and lack of options, I ended up taking six months off from CrossFit altogether and trying a different style of training, focusing on stability and mobility, with a lot of isometric holds and kettlebell work (one gym member, casting about for a description, called it ‘strength yoga’). To its credit, this style of activity—watched closely by very knowledgeable coaches, with form as the absolute highest priority at all times—went a long way towards helping me neurologically rewire my posterior chain and finally heal a nagging back injury. However, it just wasn’t CrossFit, and although I kept showing up—half-jokingly referring to it as “taking my medicine”—I didn’t have the same drive that I remembered from years past. In Philadelphia, I’d walk out of the gym after a tough session on Monday morning already feeling excited about what we might get to do on Tuesday. In this environment—although I certainly saw others around me who exhibited that enthusiasm—I just didn’t feel it myself. My attendance slowly dropped from 5-6 days a week to four, sometimes even just three. My social circle, which for years had been centered around the gym, shifted to other outlets—which wasn’t altogether bad, but meant that there was inherently a lot more food and drink involved, with a lot less communal understanding of how that food and drink fit into a larger health framework. This combination of factors meant that weight gain—already an issue due to having lost my physically intense city lifestyle of bike-commuting and walking several miles a day—accelerated.

Eventually, the coach at the ‘strength yoga’ gym, who was also a personal friend, told me to my face, “You’re coming in here every day wanting this to be CrossFit, and it’s not. You’re not bringing your best attitude in here because you’re not doing what you want to be doing.” He was right; more importantly, he had a specific gym recommendation that, although it was a comparatively longer hike from my home, turned out to be a great fit. Finally, after two years, I had a community again.

The first six months were spent recouping some of my strength—I had lost a lot of ground, more so than I would have expected. I started matching most of my old barbell numbers after a few months; however, gymnastics movements—not my forte even at the best of times—did not progress at nearly the same rate, in part because I was still carrying 15 extra pounds. I kept showing up, kept completing the workouts, but during those first months, there was still a sense of ‘duty’ about it. Mentally, I was glad to be back, but my abilities were still so far below where I used to be that, emotionally, I didn’t yet feel like I could fully commit without simultaneously opening myself up to the full impact of that crushing discouragement.

I didn’t sign up for the CrossFit Open in 2017, mostly for the bruised-ego reasons above—I knew I wasn’t at the level I’d been in years past and that attempting to perform as such would only serve to frustrate me. However, we still completed the Open workouts as part of the regular class sessions, and during the second week, I ended up completely on my own at a 6am Open session with my favorite coach. And out of the clear blue, that day proved to be the mental turning point for which I had been unconsciously waiting for so long. It wasn’t that I turned in a particularly noteworthy performance; the bigger motivator was the simple experience of a knowledgeable and perceptive coach matter-of-factly giving me her full attention, making a strategic plan for how I should approach the workout based on my objective level of ability—and then my being able to successfully execute that plan in practice. Gasping on the floor afterward, I forgot the workout itself almost immediately in the shock and unexpected relief of its execution. Despite a thoroughly mediocre score, the waves of emotion surging through me were overwhelmingly positive. It felt good to treat a physical task as though it mattered. More than that, I was completely taken aback by the forgotten luxury of having someone else accurately analyze my capabilities and tell me—correctly—how to attack a challenge, rather than me having to make strategic decisions on my own. I realized that because I was ostensibly an ‘experienced’ athlete now, that upon changing gyms, CrossFit had become yet another area of my life where I had to be the one in control—and that I had somehow resigned myself to that state of things without question. But in Philadelphia, it had been a relief and a joy to walk into the gym each day and know that I could surrender, that those coaches knew both their sport and me as an individual athlete well enough to consistently know what was best for me in any given situation. They knew when to push and when to back off, how to keep me physically safe while still helping me to progress as an athlete. I didn’t question or doubt them, because there was simply no need. And there had been a quiet joy in releasing that responsibility. In our modern adult world, that kind of unconditionally trusting relationship is rare and precious. I had understood that, and treasured it—and had sadly assumed that I’d just never find it again once I left Philadelphia. The day of 17.2, I realized I had missed that trust so deeply that I had entirely shut it out its potential.

Still sitting on the floor bathed in sweat, I was abruptly reminded that THIS was what I loved about CrossFit: the relationships. The sense of feeling thoroughly and intimately ‘known’ and being advised accordingly, in the face of something very hard. Being able to fully trust someone else’s guidance. Feeling like someone else is ‘invested’ in you, even just for a few minutes. These were experiences I’d had all too rarely in the previous 18 months. Leaving the gym that day, I felt the flicker of the old fire reignite.

I actually said aloud to a friend of mine, as he arrived for the 7am session, “Okay. I know this sounds weird. But I feel like I might be ready to ‘start trying’ again.”

“Welcome back to the club, kid,” he said with a grin.

Two weeks later, the weight-loss journey began in earnest. But for that, you’ll have to wait for Part Three. :)

#crossfit #nutrition #RP #RPstrength #RenaissancePeriodization

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1000wordresearchreport · 7 years

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Reply From Draw With Jazza

I did get a reply form jazzy but he said he get some many replies everyday he cant answer them all. he have given me a list of question that he gets asked the most and his replies to them, they are what I'm looking for in this chapter but they will be very usefully throughout the rest of my report

Dear Student,

I really like to support students and used to be able to answer interview and survey questions but unfortunately I get so many requests for responses along with my normal emails that I am unable to assist any more on an individual basis. I have created a list of past questions and responses which I will send you and I hope they may be of some assistance to your research. Apologies for the generic answer but I get hundreds of emails every day and time constraints make individual interviews impossible. I realise that your questions may not be answered by these documents but this is the best I can do to try and help in some way. Also here is a link to an online interview I did http://www.federationstory.com/drawing-has-never-been-so-interactive/ and I have linked in the questions below to a few autobiographical and relevant videos on my channel. All the best with your project!

Jazza

1. What was the first Job you ever had? Target as a checkout assistant

2. Did you always want to be an artist/animator? Yes- although not specifically animator sometimes I wanted to be a director, sometimes a musician

3. Was there a turning point in your career? Moving away from game design and starting the YouTube channel

4. Did you have a mentor or someone that inspired you? Christopher Hart when I was young. Also Adam Phillips.

5.You’ve got a large following on YouTube but how did you start out? and did you ever think you would have such a large following? Have a look at this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNDY6FWGgmE No I never thought it would get this big but now I find my goals increasing all the time

6. A) Are you surprised that your making a living from Youtube? and not only you but so many other people? B) Do you find that your channel on Youtube allows you to make a comfortable living? People who make a living from Youtube often don’t make it from ad revenue but have to find other ways to support themselves. I have a shop that sells digital art products and that allows me to be a professional Youtuber/Artist and this is a really important support to my channel. I used to take pretty much any freelance work I could get in the beginning- as another way to earn a living, although now I find I have less time for freelance. I am an author and have my first book (on Character Design) commercially published at the end of the year, as well as contributing to other publications. I do still take on occasional freelance but mostly larger commercial projects

7. What do you feel makes you different from other artist on YouTube? That I put my face and personality in my channel a lot. I try and have a community and be informative as well as fun, spontaneous and entertaining.

8. What do you wish you had known before you starting uploading videos to youtube? Be careful how much work to set myself. I tend to underestimate the time it takes to do things and take on too much.

9. Is there anything you dislike about the platform (YouTube)? I wish it was easier to report stolen content.

10. Tell me about your process from idea to implementation? I come up with a lesson plan or script, then I film/record, then I do a rough edit and beyond that I add assets such as video footage or images, finally I polish the edit, render and upload

11. Do you use social media as part of your strategy? Yes I use Twtich, Facebook, Twitter

12. What are some of your biggest achievements? Building a large audience, collaborating with reputable companies, Interviewing talented artists, writing a hard copy book soon to be published in the US and a grant which you know about from Screen Australia and Google

13. What does a typical week in your life look like? Up at between 6-7am, off to the office where the magic happens. I have a schedule planned out about a month ahead which involves the days I am recording and the days I am working on supplementary projects. I don’t finish until 6pm usually, then I try and get to the gym and see baby Jazza.

14. Would you say creative block is an obstacle for you? if so how do you overcome that? Long answer-This should help answer your question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lh17KFLbuEE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqzFpUbbhuc

15. Do you have much time to work on personal projects? NO NO NO, I wish I had more time, …. I try and work on things I love and also that work for my business

16. What are some of you favourite tools and software that you use?

I use Adobe Flash (now Animate CC) for my animations, which is good in that it can be used to create interactive mediums like games/apps as well as animations. ToonBoom is an animation specific program that is quite popular, and though I have not used it very much I plan to do more work with it in the future. I use Adobe Photoshop for my Digital Paintings and image editing.. I use a Wacom 24 HD which is a high end LCD tablet for professional use. I talk a bit about tablets here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pqmDjGQmJA

17. Do you get much work outside of your channel? Yes but most of my work comes initially from my channel or from my website but usually from my reputation that is mainly built through the channel.

18. Have you ever turned away work? If yes why? All the time- pretty much every day. The reasons are usually a combination of: 1) Unrealistic budget expectations (want me to work for free or almost free) 2) Unrealistic project expectations (feature film/music video) with little understanding of the amount of work involved 3) Strange project that I do not like or I consider inappropriate (I won’t work on obscene or adult content) 4) I am already booked up (which I am for at least 10-12 months usually)

19. What do you like to do in your spare time if you get any? I enjoy a game of Dota, some nerdy role playing with mates, spending time with baby Jazza and my wife.

20. What advise would you give to someone trying to start their own channel? Work hard, be consistent, have integrity, release what you consider to be quality content

21. Pepsi or Coke?

Coke

22. How did you go about getting into the industry? -Did you have connections or was it a case of putting your work out there as much as possible? I draw constantly- then became professional through YouTube: Have a look at this video- basically I kept putting my work out there, Newgrounds and obviously YouTube helped a lot with this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNDY6FWGgmE

23. What advice would you give to a young animator trying to get into the industry? Becoming a professional animator is not an easy road. There is no one way or sure fire path to success but one thing that you must adhere to is hard work. People who treat it like a profession even when they aren't being paid and try consistently, taking every opportunity to improve their skills, have the best chance of success. Remember it takes doctors and lawyers 6-8 years of daily study and it’s the same with art and animation. Keep practicing, put yourself out there in the animation community and be determined (and a bit thick skinned)

24. Do you prefer working as an independent freelance animator or as a professional at a studio? - Why do you prefer (whichever you prefer)? I have never worked for a studio, just run my own. I have toured some as I may need to set up larger one day and have been interested in how the larger studios work, but I don’t think I would enjoy animating one particular segment repeatedly. I like being part of the whole creative picture.

25. How did you find the transition from aspiring animator to professional? -Did you face any problems you hadn't anticipated? I had to get a handle on the business and legal side and it is not my strong point. Copyright releases and IP contracts, terms and conditions, deposits- now my wife handles most of that end which is a relief.

26. There has been some speculation that CGI is leading the way for animation and that 2D will become irrelevant. What are your personal opinions on this? No I don't think 2 D will become irrelevant. I think new tools will make producing animations more accessible though.

How did you first get started with art? Have you always been into drawing? I have always been in to drawing (since I can remember)! Art has been my escape, my way to tell stories and create characters since I was a child. I was sometimes quite lonely at school and I was bullied a bit when I started high school, so at lunchtimes (and even during class I admit) I would often sit by myself and draw.

How old were you when you first made the transition into digital art? About 12 years old when I started playing around with early versions of Photoshop and Flash, I got my first tablet at 13.

How have things changed since then in terms of technology? When digital art emerged as an option I knew I wanted to jump on board. I got my first tablet and didn't look back. Obviously since then software and tools have come a long way! However right now things are moving on again and I am so excited because on the channel I have just begun to create 3D art in virtual reality. It's an exciting time! There will be more development in the software and tools for VR art (in the same way as there was with digital art) and no doubt that this is just the beginning.

When did you realise you’d be able to draw for a living? I had dreamed of writing a 'How To Draw' book since the age of 12, but it's not until recently that I have been able to make a stable living in the art world. I began to feel confident about making an OK wage about 3 years ago, when I began to get some reasonable freelance jobs, mainly as an animator rather than solely an artist. It wasn't stable but it was suddenly paying the bills. The problem was animation is very slow work and there was only one of me, so it was always going to be limiting in terms of making a stable wage. I had to convince my wife that it was worth turning down freelance on occasion to keep focusing on my YouTube channel, where I could see building a reputation and better potential for growth than one person animation. The YouTube channel eventually brought the offer of my first published book 'Draw With Jazza- Creating Characters' and even a children's television art show.

How did you get started with your YouTube channel? Before YouTube I used to work as a Freelance Flash Game Designer, but the Flash Game market was taking a nose dive. I had already started doing little art tutorials on YouTube, at first on a channel that contained a mixture of stuff (music etc), because I am usually working on creative projects of my own, but I noticed the art tutorials were quite popular. That is when I decided to start Draw With Jazza and see if it would grow into anything. It was lucky I did, as earning money in the Flash Game market was getting more and more difficult, Draw With Jazza began to grow and gave me the next direction in my career just in time, as I could no longer support myself with Game Design.

How quickly did success come there? You could say both quickly and slowly! I think a lot of people who start a YouTube channel want to see automatic viral videos, the reality is it take a lot of channels years to build an audience (it did mine) and the ones with the initial viral hits often don't go on to be long term successes. My channel definitely wasn't viral and it took a few years to get momentum, but then it grew quickly. In total I have been on YouTube for about 4 years and after year 1 I had about 5,000 subs, it took 3 years to reach 100,000, now at the beginning of my 5th year I will hit the 1 million mark and I am so excited about that.

What do you think is your secret, and how do you keep things fresh? I love art and I make content that I would be interested in watching. Although I pay a bit of attention to what is popular, popularity is not the main driver for my content choices, as I feel when you do that the content gets 'fake' and lacks quality. I really believe in making videos that I have enjoyed making and I hope the fact that I believe in what I am doing, comes across! It's not just about art, but also about showing your personality and letting people in. I definitely only do what I believe in. I'm not saying every video is perfect! Every now and again I make a video and I think 'that didn't turn out so well', and sometimes I still have to release it, as doing three videos a week doesn't leave me much room for error. Ironically sometimes the ones I'm not so proud of are really popular videos. You have to be willing to put yourself out there warts and all. My art challenges (left hand drawing, blindfold etc) don't show my best art (that's for sure) but they are very fun to make and popular content.

What would be your advice or top tips for anyone looking to get started in digital art? The same as my advice for any beginner artist, practise, work hard and don't be too tough on yourself. I think most people expect to be good quickly, or maybe when you look at developed artists they make it look easy and then you compare yourself to that. It took good artists, not hours, but years and years of practise. You need perseverance and patience with yourself.

Are there any mobile/tablet apps you’d recommend people should use for drawing on the go, and why? There is Photoshop Sketch and an Illustrator equivalent but I forget what it's called. I personally work a lot on the go but I run Photoshop off my Windows Tablet, that is capable of running the full program. A lot of people like using Sketchbook.

What would a good beginner’s setup be? For digital art you need a descent tablet of some sort, and it doesn't need to be expensive, but get one made for art. You can get started with a basic Huion or Wacom tablet (even picking up one second hand from ebay if necessary). The tablet will need a PC or Laptop with Photoshop or similar on it. There are way more expensive 'tablets' that aren't really made for art and won't give you the same results as a cheaper option, made with artists in mind.

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