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atthebell-moved · 11 months

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Hi, i hope you dont mind this ask, but i noticed that in your bio post you mention you speak 4 languages and are learning 2 more, and thats honestly so cool and inspiring!! Do you happen to have any language learning tips you used so far that you like? Im in the process of learning french as my 3rd language and while i have the structural knowledge of how to learn a language, i have hit somewhat of a wall in my learning process rn i think. So while i know language learning varies a lot from person to person id still apreciate knowing other peoples process if youd be okay with sharing :] hope youre having a nice timezone

hi! i definitely don't mind, glad to hear you're learning a new language :D big reminder at the top that i'm just some a guy who's way too into languages and linguistics. you want to ask me about jewish theology on the concept of knowing, go right ahead, but in terms of language pedagogy, this is just my personal experience from learning a lot of languages and spending a lot of time thinking about this stuff, though i do have some experience in education. take everything i say with the grain of salt of my personal context!

my initial tips kind of revolve around your goals; do you want to get generally better at the language, or are you specifically looking to strengthen certain areas? if its the former, i recommend doing anything and everything, but most of all practicing, and practicing with french speakers (or speakers of whatever language you may be learning). it might be embarrassing, especially if you're trying to speak with native speakers, but it is hands down the best way to learn, and it means you get very hands-on practice.

if you want to strengthen certain areas, it can depend on which, and it can also depend on your learning styles and what works best for you. for a couple examples: if you want to improve pronunciation, flash cards can be really helpful, and i know quizlet has ways of including pronunciation. if flashcards aren't your thing, i recommend listening to native speakers (i.e. youtube videos, podcasts, etc. etc.) and repeating after them to try to get down their pronunciation, and i recommend a variety of them so you pick up on how pronunciation varies by accent and region. another example: if you want to improve comprehension/listening ability, again, i recommend listening to native speakers and getting the hang of what theyre saying; this is particularly helpful if you can watch something with subtitles in the language as well in your own native language(s) so you can pick up on exactly what they're saying. i do this sometimes when i'm watching cellbit-- instead of putting stream captions on english, i put them in portuguese so that i can see what he's saying along with hearing it. this works well for me though bc i read pretty well in most languages i speak/am learning and i already speak spanish, which makes reading portuguese very easy. again, it depends on your own learning styles and what works for you, so find something that really clicks with your brain and run with it. and this goes for any goal you might have-- if it's being able to read books in french, you can practice reading kids' books and move up to something more advanced; if it's translation specifically, you'll want to look a bit into translation studies and look at professional and amateur translations to see how it's typically done.

there's also the context of the language itself-- yiddish literature is a HUGE part of yiddishism, and translation is also a really important factor for a lot of people, so we read a lot of books and poems and did full translations of texts as practice, but for some languages, there's far more emphasis on song, oral storytelling, writing, or any number of things. if you've previously focused on some elements while learning other languages, it can be strange to switch to something new with another language, but it really helps round out your understanding of the diversity of languages and how cultural context has an impact on it all.

my big big big tip is to practice as much as possible and, if you think you're plateauing at kind of an intermediate-advanced level, that's very normal. every language i've studied, you reach a point where you have a pretty decent grasp on a lot of technical things, but you still don't necessarily feel super confident in the language. i recommend studying new vocab, as that will make you feel more like you can speak it at any opportunity, and engaging in media in the language, like i said above. when i got into advanced yiddish, we read and practiced and had conversations constantly, and it helped me gain a lot of confidence that i was able to open a text and know a lot of what was being said, including vocab, without having to reach for a dictionary all the time or ponder exactly which auxiliary verb was being used, or to be able to express myself really clearly to my peers.

i think it's easy to feel railroaded after you've got a lot of grammar and structure down, so you need to find new ways to gain knowledge and confidence in the language so you don't get stuck at that level. also find a crew to speak french with!! i wouldn't have learned yiddish nearly as well as i did if i hadn't had friends in my classes and built connections in the yiddish community at large, and i think that's a really meaningful way to engage with a language. language is about human connection, so finding ways to build that really does help. and don't forget to review!! you will, if you're like me, get caught up in some element of the language and then may misremember some basics, so it's always good to review those and keep up with anything that might start to slip your memory.

one last thing! if you learned another language as a kid or a teen and now you're learning as an adult and finding its not quite as easy, this is also really normal. kids' brains are so, so good at absorbing information, particularly languages, and it's very normal to get into your twenties and thirties and be like "why can't i learn this as fast as i could as a kid?!" the easiest time to learn a language is as young as possible, but you are not late to the game or slow. you just came at it at a different time, and you're still going to be able to pick it up. especially if you're trying to learn in between other classes and work and just general adult life, it's just going to be a bit harder, and that's okay! for thousands and thousands of years people have been learning new languages at every age and you are not alone in that. may we all have a decent time at it, and best of luck to you. bonne chance!

#asks #anons #i cant think of more specifics rn but if i do ill add them in a rb or something #nonnie if you or anyone have something in mind though feel free to ask #this is so long sorry im deranged and also getting into my fifth and sixth languages im feelinggg how much harder this is now #esp outside of a more formal learning setting

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menalez · 11 months

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I could definitely be wrong, but as an autistic person I honestly read the 'different language' thing as just an expression of how it feels to be autistic, not insulting your English. The way my thoughts connect to each other in my head and come out of my mouth is so different from the way they do for people who aren't autistic, and it really does feel like speaking a whole different language. Trying to get people to understand what I'm saying is very difficult and I do have to apologize and clarify a lot, and honestly, it does get exhausting, because a lot of people will refuse to believe what I actually meant because the words I said didn't translate into that for them the way it did for me and it's hard for them to understand that what obviously means one thing to them obviously means another thing to me.

Not saying macro is in the right here, but I also read you saying the part about things 'leading to the conclusion that' as you stating the conclusion as something that you believed to be true--in hindsight and after your explanation, I realize that was a silly way to read it, but it happens so often that I'm more wary of it. I don't think anyone here is intentionally misinterpreting words; this kind of misunderstanding isn't uncommon for autistic people. It's just a pile of misunderstandings.

I started talking way too much, but my point is, I think that was what the 'different language' thing meant--the child comment was uncalled for, but I don't think it was about your English at all. Again, though, I could be wrong.

Hopefully I worded all of this in a way that 'translates' properly. I'm a little tired so stringing words together is harder than it is normally, so if any of this came off wrong, I'm very sorry. I'm honestly not trying to take sides here, I don't feel like I know enough about the whole situation to make any solid judgments on it, I'm just trying to help clear up the misunderstandings because I'm very familiar with how easy it is for these things to happen. Also, I always enjoy seeing you on my timeline, you seem like a cool person and I don't want you to maybe feel hurt over something that came off wrong. (Though in this context, it really should have been worded differently.) Obviously I don't know how you're actually feeling about it, but, well, insults are hurtful. Sorry for stating the incredibly obvious there, like I said my words are not forming well.

Sorry for the very long ask. Hope you're doing well!

but afaik butch-reid'd is not autistic as well is she? i can understand though bc very often im saying things and it feels like people are somehow reading entirely different (which is what they just did to me, funnily enough) but i wish theyd perhaps avoid such comments with me bc seriously the amount of times this week alone that people have made weird comments to me about my english or language abilities is .. too much. i ignored it bc of that bc i was like what is up with this comment why do peopl keep saying things about my language abilities to me -_-

anyways im mostly frustrated now that even after explaining at least twice that i am simply saying that people reading ur words literally does not mean theyre out to get u and trying to misconstrue u and whatever else, & its ok to simply correct them and move on, theyre now intentionally misconstruing me to call me ableist lol. like im supposed to give everything they say the most generous interpretation ever, but even when im clarifying my words repeatedly i dont deserve the same.. its odd. especially when i dont think im saying anything unreasonable when i say "people arent intentionally misconstruing you by reading ur words as they are literally written, youre simply wording them unclearly & can clarify it and then move on. if it requires knowing u personally and already having positive feelings towards u to understand what ur saying as u intend it then it is simply unclear"

anyways thank u anon and i appreciate hearing ur input <3 im just baffled by how i was trying to politely explain sth to them and i got repeated insults in return

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antiloreolympus · 3 years

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10 Anti LO Asks

1. The trial happening right now bothers me because we get to see how Thanatos and Echo reacted to this, but Demeter and Persphone don’t know and I know why they don’t know yet. However you think that would tie some more stuff up together

It was Minthe, Thanatos and Thetis who whistle blew on Persphone. Meaning Thanatos would probably be called to trial and would have to face persphone and I would hope say something to her BUT I kinda doubt that’s gonna happen.

But the other thing to this Minthe is a plant who can’t testify. Are hades and Persphone hide the fact she’s a plant and pretend she’s missing or are they gonna say “yeah I still don’t have control over my powers but I’m queen now” HOWEVER I truly believe RS is just gonna not address these two plot points until way later.

FINALLY Eros and Psyche KNOW the last person Daphne was seen with was Apollo, did they chase after her after he got shot by the arrow? We don’t know. We don’t even know what they’re doing about Psyche. Did Eros and Psyche even see the Daphne tree? Are they going to try and sneak in to tell Persphone?

I know the plots gonna focus more on HxP secret marriage at the court trial rather than the actual consequences and the fact people are turning into greenery left and right. (It’s not Persohones Faullt Daphne is the way she is but RS needs to focus on other plot points I feel)

2. like, age gaps, height differences, and power imbalances dont always have to be bad, the issue to me is that the way rachel does it is hyper-focusing on how young, small, and child-like/unexperienced persephone is compared to the old, giant, and all powerful/mature hades is like ... yeah obvs people are going to find it creepy? how would they not?

3. i honestly cant stand the "theyre immortal gods the age gap doesnt matter!!" agreement because like??? ok??? then she could easily be 300 years old then? she shouldnt be so borderline underage then?? like the immortality aspect actually makes the age gap worse, not better??

4. i realize getting nitpicky over unimportant characters in lo having american names is a bit dumb, but it does speak to just how lazy rachel is and how little care she has for greece and its mythology. there are countless english names that are also greek, yet even that's asking too much of her. percy jackson isnt a perfect series, but even the characters (who are in america) have greek influence and meanings put into their names and characterization, something rachel doesn't even attempt to do.

5. ok but thats a good point, because rachel seems to be taking physical wounds to matter more over the mental ones, when thats not how trauma works. her writing on zeus is reflective of her writing minthe, where she confirmed she has a severe untreated mental illness and that's linked to her evilness, and thus what she should be punished for. meanwhile persephone own mental issues can be bastardized as a "yass queen" thing?? somehow?? its just bad writing all around.

6. i kinda wish lo fans would listen to their own logic and give the same leeway to the other characters. theyll scream from the rooftops that hades and persephone and hera can be awful people all they want because thats ~realistic~, meanwhile minthe and zeus and everyone else are held to such extremes they can never meet and are hated and despised for nothing in compared to hxp or hera. either hold your faves accountable or let off on hating characters who do the same as them.

7. i see a lot of lo fans excuse how everything drags as "thats how a slow burn works" and its like ... no? because most of that slow burn isnt even hxp, its rachel forcing in more plots we dont need, and when its hxp, you look at the timeline and how they act and its actually neck-breakingly fast? like if as much time had past in LO as irl time then yeah, four years is a slow burn, but its only been maybe a month in comic? so its not slow for them at all, but it's a drag for the readers.

8. See, the difference between Lo!Hades and Punderworld!Hades is that PW!Hades has so much personality, he and Persephone are literally bustling with life (even though one of them rules over a realm of dead XD) AND their interactions are so cute with their awkward attempts at flirting and failure at doing so. Persephone is still somewhat sweet and “pure” but she’s also a bit of a spitfire, she’s not easy to surrender, she has wants and dreams and that little differences makes her character likable!

We NEVER get to see anything like that with LO!Hades and Persephone, we don’t see them have these sweet interactions, these heart-fluttering moments, because there’s no base or foundation for those sorts of moments! It’s always these very out-of-character unrealistic scenes expected from a married couple, but they just met! It doesn’t feel natural, it feels forced and rushed and so slow at the same time.

Although Punderworld makes Demeter overbearing, i love her characterization i really do, waAAAY more than LO!Demeter, because we actually understand her reasons for her overprotective behavior and we get to see her in a more sympathetic light/manner in the newer chapters, we see her as more than “mean mom hates bf”

9. Daphne and Thanatos were adorable. Like, Daphne was a sweet, caring girl with genuine interest (and power/agency) and Thanatos was a shy, awkward guy who was just doing his best (and not pressuring her). They weren't perfect, but it was something! Why couldn't LO be about them?

10. What I find funny is that Minthe and Thetis have a more defined friendship than Persphone and other female characters.

Minthe and Thetis ARE TOXIC don’t get me wrong but both characters are aware of each other’s motives. Minthe knows not to trust Thetis fully and is straight with her on her opinion of Thetis. But the readers clearly know their relationship as well as the characters.

Persphone is in gray areas with most her female friends. The beginning of the story we are lead to believe Artemis and P are besties with the dress sharing and the way in P’s mind they’re holding hands with Hermès. But clearly now their relationship is a question mark and they’re both more detached than we thought. Artemis was just being nice to P letting her stay with her because they’re both in the TOGeM but they’re probably more like acquaintes at best.

Daphne and P we know they’re friends but P isn’t straight with her. Like Daphne is P’s only named friend, but did P think of her as the other overbearing nymphs? We don’t know because they’re all pink and some of them are dead. Despite being told they grew up together we don’t even know much about their relationship what do they like about each other? Does Daphne agree with Demeters parenting or P’s need to leave? When did Daphne get to move to Olympus? I feel like the plot just says “these two characters are friends “ but doesn’t elaborate much. Why did P let Daphne in her room at Hades mansion and not the other nymphs? P told Daphne that Apollo is dangerous, but it was a little too late. Also why didn’t P have her phone number when she got to Olympus? Wouldn’t she know to contact her on insta or something? P was like “omg I know no one except Hermès “ but that’s not true! Daphne! I could go more but I think we get the picture that Daphne’s plot point is having the readers be told Persphone has friends but she doesn’t but she does.

Were shown that P and Meg are getting along because P was nice to Meg, despite Meg being silently jealous of P, but what about Meg now? Is she ever gonna tell P that she’s jealous of P that she had a mad crush on Hades, even her journal? Or is that all gone now? Does Meg even matter any more or is she now here just to support HXP?

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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sikereviewdotcom · 4 years

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strawberry shortcake s2 ep1 - horse of a different color

this one was suggested by someone who couldnt keep their mouth shut and not sing the strawberry shortcake intro theme in the middle of our economy class

no one wanted to hear that, but they went ahead and then i actually followed up on that train of thoughts i remembered about the fucking cartoons and i knew it pronto: its a must-see shit its like slightly above the level of magical school bus series, but the final rating is for the fin not the beginning so lets begin this horseshit:

were reviewing “horse of a different color”, it focuses indeed on strawberrys horse, honey pie pony (its her entire damn name, how sweet right? like all of them, i got diabete from this review but its the cost of maintaining this blog anyway, the kids are playing together on a that tree having fun jumping around like chimpanzees hooba hooba but sadly our filly quickly realizes she cant play king kong with them and keep falling on her ass,

yet since theyre all retarded or young (id say its a fifty-fifty case for them kinda normal ig, i mean they ARE literal 6yo) they try several ways of getting her up on that tree, not thinking how to get her down if they ever were to succeed (good for them: aint happening) its child labor too btw, from an horse still same deal what if honey pie fell down on them? crushing them corpses with her mighty pounds? the findus company would be delighted to hear such news, im sure its some quality (sweet ass) horse meat

once it all fails she understands a horse isnt meant to climb a tree, too big too fat its four legged, not even entertaining the relationship giraffes have with trees

but it aint over, then (after a talk with herself) hp hears the laughters of a bunch of kids which catches her attention, it always does who can ignore that sorta noise? although she aint annoyed by it shes just into the idea of riding a bike now, shes even gonna get a go at it oh yea thats it we finally found her human hobby gogdamn shes a backward furry

of course it fails aswell since she has no hand for the handle and shes heavy so i guess its the reason why she rides into w/e and cant stop? because otherwise she couldve also just.. actually it makes no sense does it? i mean she couldve easily stopped the ride actually how is that kid bike even holding her? ive never tried putting a pony on a bike for 6 y/o but i doubt about its capacity in not being crushed aswell as i doubt in the kids bones not being severely damaged after a visit under honey pies horsy buttcheeks

but all of that really makes her sad: she cant play with her human friends and shes the only horse around strawberry land or whatever see me tearing it for her, theres so much emotions in this episode especially after that filly trynna get kids to get into some horseplay horseshit like dude theyre only 6, lets go easy on them, might have a problem with the parents of the kids watching this episode no one even thought how fucked up this one part is? sure horseplay isnt only sexual or w/e but it still is the visual of 6yos on all four jumping around and neighing together with their ass a little bit too exposed wow im going on a dangerous road here? aint i? not gonna sue the writers im sure it was their subconscious speaking probably got issues from their childhood, eventually got them sorted out since 2004 what do i know? aside from me not caring

back on track : after seeing horsey being so sad the kiddos decide to get her a horse friend but where the fuck? they got no idea, they are proud nonetheless and go tell honey the good new until they are like “wait but we have no idea where to find horses!” ofc we get a big reveal, some serious strawberry shortcake lore: actually all the horses, ALL OF THEM FROM THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET are on one (1) single island: ice cream themed to diversify it all they are just chilling over there in ponyland and for some reason this one here got lost or idk guys she took the boat and checked the rest of the world out as an even younger filly, found strawberry and her friends and decided now she was a centaur slash humanrry furry human, idk you get it but shes their friend and so on to introduce the concept of an AWESOME island full of equestrian activity and ofc ice cream but its kinda lame because who cares? everythings already made out of food, also why isnt the ice cream melting? its one water? nevermind for the introduction as i was saying, hp sings an horrendous sounding song it deteriorated my ear drums they got pierced or something or maybe im exagerrating? either case horses cant sing:

so to the ice cream land they go, huh

of course it wouldnt be a big adventure without an almost broken bridge oh no whatever shall we do? could we possibly cross it safely? lets try it out guys: yay it worked good for us little stress and suspense it was wack how they got honey pie out of the hole her big ass hoove made im mesmerized by the power of friendship and sugar at this point, just in full awe for the rest of the episode probably over dosed on all the ice cream flavoured horseshit, i got some all over my mouth its dripping on my desk i gotta clean that later

next thing we know: horses its all this episode is about (aside from labor) but you see, so far hp would switch between normal human language and neighing well turns out her other fellow equines can only neigh and so they just neigh together while our english well-spoken mammal translates to the moronic kids who just smile smuggly

of course the animals are having a welcome party then, dancing around while the morons are just bored, harsh one being a cartoon character isnt it guys? w/e theyre gonna ask for honey pie to come back home now, convinced that her natural habit isnt her place and she loves them too much to just leave them and never come back and break any plans they ever had together- oh shit looks like shes leaving forever huh? what a plot twist mark that on the bitch quota for today

the first one to leave is the little boy btw, important thing to note: hes the biggest pussy he cant even face reality: oh no, no more pony back time before sleep thats quite a bummer, downer and man how are they going to survive now they got no animal to watch over them? jesus theyre soon, on the boat (idk where they got it from idk why suddenly theyre on a boat because then theyre once again gonna cross that bridge but ok) anyway yea theyre having a relationship crisis during that ship trip yada yada ah and the bridge, because (see i do not call them morons for now reasons obviously they deserve this title not only because theyre 6 but also because they are just daft:) they proceed, once in the middle of the bridge all 4 of them, to stop and wonder

“will the bridge be able to hold all of us? wont it break? damn i wonder if it will crack” and they talks without moving until vlam: a tree comes and breaks it (dont ask) so now theyre in trouble:

back to ponyland: bitch pie realizes how much she misses her actual friends and that she can speak english which her other horse friends cant do so she is special and probably abnormal, shes a big outcat of the pony society and has no other reason but to escape her incoming death sentence for fraternizing with the humans of course none of the second part is true, she just wants to see the kids again so she says asta la vista baby to the neigher team and runs away see, she hasnt taken the boat and yet also arrive to the bridge? why a boat sequence then? i will skip this for now but it WILL play in the rating, imagine im the parent of the youngster watching this crap and i have to endure it

if it sucks this bad and is this illogical i might just get bored and change the channel, idc my progeny aint gonna be watching this in either case, ill make them watch political debates then interrogate them on what they learned after what but it wasnt actual political debates just random furry youtuber venting with their fursona sprites animated and thats how you make your kids retarded, the kick of this joke is that i aint planning on getting any kids but totally gonna make them watch classics too such as the attack of the killer donuts as soon as they reach 6 so they wont be dumb and probably not getting diabete or w/e in their adulthood

then honey pie saves the kids btw all of them, heavy shit

and they all go back to strawberryland, happily after a big “wow i missed you sm, you are my real friends w/e if you dont look like me i aint speciest guys really!” theyre all vegan too btw so this works for them i havent watched enough strawberry shortcake episodes to know if they ever eat meat but i have doubts seeing how theyre into a very cannibalistic diet which include eating dessert when obviously thats what they are at least half part, this cartoon raises a lot of political questions it may have a deeper value than i first attributed to it

the end: another terrible song plays about horseshit and how tasty it is

thats all folks

so the rating: big 6/10, so you know 5/10 if its a decent kid show where im highly eager to click on the x and get back making jams but nah

surprisingly enough, i only wanted to stop watching half of the episode and not the entirity of it so credits for thats since im an adult and not a kid, imagining kids enjoyed this sweet childish cartooness or w/e now why +1? its because of how many political questions it raised, how it made me think about our society and cakes yknow its more than kids having a conflict with an horse it talks about veganism, specism, handicap, cannibalism, the management of the limited ressources were exploiting and so on yea really makes you think, its subliminal messages to make kids smarter: they watch their dessert-imbecile counterparts doing bs and then get it right irl: good ah- it also makes it better for you when youre watching this with your kid, you suddenly transcend to another level of spirituality, existential crisis activated or at least reasoning mode or w/e youre willing to name this the point is you arent bored still despite all of this i rated it quite low for such a serious kid cartoon what couldve possibly made me tic? 1) kids are morons and cant understand all of this, not clear enough for the targeted public 2) projection onto the characters/dialogues from the writers of their childhood traumas (the horse play event didnt go unnoticed, karren brown) 3) my little pony ripoff 4) its controversial, our society, especially in 2004 couldnt understand the depth of this shit and finally 5) i got so much ice cream flavoured horseshit all over my desk god help me this is so filthy what a fucking mess i would totally recommand it to anyone who feels like being blown away by the statements made in this work of art 6/10 but really we all know in the future, itll be a 9/10, some ahead-of-its-time-crap

tg, out

#strawberry shortcake #cartoon review #cartoons #sike reviews #child labor #pony labor #art #classic #diabete fuel #reviews

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dahniwitchoflight · 5 years

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Alrighty, So I got through the beginning prologue of the epilogue and through the first 5 pages of Meat.

Even though I did stream my stream of conciousness on twitch, im probbaly not gonna be posting that on youtube

Instead what I’ll be doing is writing down my thoughts and notes on tumblr after I stream each time

Speaking of, the next time I will be streaming is tomorrow April 29 at about 8pm EST for about an Hour again here: https://www.twitch.tv/dahnimae

the way my life schedule is now is I can probably do this for about an hour a day after work, so I think I can get through the epilogues quickly in nice digestible chunks

At least for Monday and Tuesday anyway, after that Ill have to make sure im not doing anything else

but anyways, here are the rough thoughts I had during the epilogue, up to the first 5 Pages of Meat:

First off, I got some thoughts from Rose about how the Heroic versus Just death system for immortals is apparently derived from an emotional value of what is “Good” or “Bad”, what is good or what is bad ultimately being derived from what someone or something “feels” is good or bad, so theres some subjectivity in that judgement, which makes sense considering how individuals are able to affect that judgement in homestuck canon, Aranea proposing her own individual morality onto the clock, as well as Caliborn just destroying the clock/idea of dividing things into good or bad

because Rose describes the system of describing what is canon or not canon or outside canon as being less emotional in nature than that of the of the god tier death clock

her exact words are “Good and bad are words that don’t mean anything, beyond a certain threshold of mortal consideration.” its not said outright but its basically implied

Speaking of, so Canon is made up of three “Pillars”

Truth

Relevance

Essentiality

now, truth is easy to distinguish from the other two, it’s the idea of reality. If something is true, that means it really happened. If something is a lie, that means it didn’t happen, or it wouldn’t happen, it does not exist.

Basically an idea of Hope versus Rage

Relevance and Essentiality are a little harder to seperate, and Rose doesn’t do much to seperate them either

but Relevance is tied to an idea of Context, it’s something that has meaning or importance to what is “currently” happening, the idea of the present conversation one is having, the current thoughts someone is thinking about, the object they are currently looking at or viewing, or just the exact point of focus of the current moment in time

something that is irrelevant is something were not looking at currently, something were not focusing on, or something that’s just not improtant or meaningful right now

basically an idea of Light versus Void

Essentiality is then an idea of a “must”, and idea, no matter when or where or how it happened. It Must have happened or it Must happen in the future. Its the one most closely tied to an idea of destiny, fate, or prerequisites for a more down to earth definition. In order to grow a plant, you MUST plant the seed.

The planting of the seed is essential to the plant ever growing in that spot, if no one plants the seed, the seed will never grow, and the plant will never exist. The plant’s entire existence depends upon that seed being planted.

something that is non essential, can still be true and relevant, the plant is a rosebush, or a tree with apples, or has green leaves versus purple leaves etc but if that exact property were to change into a different one, the core requisites of it’s existence does not change, it’s seed was still planted, it still grew into a plant. (within reason of course, but how essential something is does depend upon the context for why its essential, if its essential because its roots hold the ground together in the future allowing another event to happen, then it must be a plant with strong and deep earth fastening roots, what it is and why, is relevant to its essentiality, so the two are interwoven in a sense)

Basically an idea of Time and Space, but Rose doesn’t seperate them as neatly from Light and Void (she could have easily glossed them over into a single “importance” factor, but she didn’t)

it may be that the distinction itself is needed, but not necessarily a requisite to getting John to understand what she meant.

Essential, but not entirely Relevant to her current circumstances :)

but then she goes onto describe the different combinations of those three pillars and what they are and do

Inside Canon = It is True, it is somewhat Relevant, It is somewhat Essential

Relevance and Essentiality being treated as like percentages from 0-100%, inside canon requiring nonzero amounts for both, while Truth is more black or white, it either is True or is not True

Outside Canon = True

so the amount of relevance and essentiality can be nothing, or essentiality zero, but is must be True

and then Not Canon sort of overlaps what might have been two other categories, I guess the distinction of which doesn’t really matter for now, since were dealing with what is canon, not what isn’t canon

Not Canon = Untrue, with varying percentages of essentiality/relevance

I have my own ideas of what happens to other combos within the Homestuck mythos, theyre not complete but basically as follows:

True, Essential, Relevant (Canon Homestuck)

True, Not Essential, Relevant (Paradox Space Comics)

True, Essential, Not Relevant (Hiveswap)

True, Not Essential, Not Relevant (Outside of Canon)

Not True, Essential, Relevant (”Not Canon” = The Epilogues)

Not True, Not Essential, Relevant (”Not Canon” = Fanfiction/Audience Generated Content)

Not True, Essential, Not Relevant (”Not Canon” = FriendSims)

Not True, Not Essential, Not Relevant (Not Homestuck)

That’s basically how I’m divvying up the majority of distinguishable homestuck aligned content into those three pillars anyway

Rose did also Call Truth the foundation for which Relevance and Essentiality can do their thing, and that did go into how in order for the Friendsims to flip from being not canon to really canon (Hiveswap) it just needs to flip the switch into True

same for Fanfiction of Homestuck/Audience generated content in general, flipping the switch into True makes the Paradox Space content, which is essentially ascended Fanfiction content

and then for things Outside of Canon, they have a tenuous position, because while as long as they remain True, they are still Canon, their Truth value remains conditional upon their values of Relevance and Essentiality, since the closer they dip into zero or negative values, the closer they drag True from flipping to Untrue.

To remain true, or better yet, to integrate into Canon proper, they need to prop up their Relevance and Essentiality values

They need to become the centre of attention, the point of current focus, and they need to have some impact on events in other parts of canon

and all who understand this also understand that characters inside the story don’t get to decide directly how relevant or essential they are to the story, the Audience (and the Author) do

Rose has the idea that the answer lies in the Audience and their expectations, and the audience’s expectations for any story boils down to: the Hero must defeat the Villain.

John is the Hero, Lord English is the Villain. John must defeat Lord English for those outside of Canon to become Canon once again. It’s self explanatory in both ways.

sidenote though, the way John must defeat Lord English is also hilariously self explanatory in both ways.

John will use the cursor Juju to defeat Lord English since it is the only thing that can defeat him. John won’t have to think about how to use it or when or where. Since the cursor Juju is essentially just a plot hole that John fills suddenly out of nowhere perfectly and with ease and immediately will solve the problem no real effort needed.

John will defeat Lord English using the power of a literal Deus Ex Machina. (but a Deux Ex Machina that’s been symbolically hinted at being the secret weapon all along and which the audience is entirely aware will be the thing used to defeat LE it was more a matter of when then How, making it actually a Chekov’s Deus Ex Machina. And I guess the opposite nature of those two things equals out pretty nicely, The Deus Ex Machina is exactly that, an easy and simply solution to all of canon’s ills, but it feels earned instead of handed out randomly like a Chekov’s Gun would feel earned, while simply losing the difficulty of properly using a well set up Checkov’s Gun. Best of both worlds, worst of none)

But,

Different characters seem to have different thoughts on how best to solve the problem. Characters like Dirk it seems

Dirk seems to be operating under a sort of opposite position to Rose, that instead of propping up the audience’s expectations of the Hero, Dirk wants to prop up expectations of a Villain.

Though I’ve only gotten to page 5 of Meat, it seems pretty clear that Dirk’s intentions are to make either himself or Jane a Villainous character.

The reason being is because he may be aware that people can stick to stories for various reasons, including, either liking the villain a lot, or wanting the villain to Go Down.

lots of people like Game of Thrones because of how much they hated Joffrey, I know I was that.

and so far, Lord English hasn’t actually been that much of passionately hated villain? Like that’s pretty clear to the story and characters themselves, why even go fight him? Oh because its technically necessary okay fine whatever I guess

Meanwhile, we have a figure in Homestuck that’s already a pretty untapped source of Passionate Villainy, that covers quite a lot of the bases of canon and not canon, Paradox Space, Hiveswap, Homestuck, Fanfiction, Friendsims (and I wouldn’t be passed saying probably these epilogues as well)

Doc Scratch.

And Doc Scratch is pretty much a parallel of villainy of Lord English

Because where Lord English seems to physically embody certain characters, Doc Scratch seems to mentally embody them.

Caliborn, Equius, Gamzee and Dirk.

and with all this talk of Ultimate Selves already happening, what happens when one small part of your ultimate self is tainted by this kind of existence? This being, this apparent ultimate villain, tainted by villainous desires, something you know should be rejected

Do you embrace it fully, and see no difference between this being and yourself, internally incorporating it into your ultimate self (Caliborn)

Do you submit that part of yourself to it? Essentially, “giving up” that part of yourself, excizing that slice of your ultimate self as “someone else’s ultimate self” and therefore cutting off it’s influence “Here have it, it’s yours if you want it”? (Equius)

Does your Soul get torn through it’s middle, split like a broken piece of glass? Half on one side, half on the other. A mirthful broken pair of ultimates. Dissociated from eachother enough to be considered seperate yet two halves of the whole, inseperable yet divided. (Gamzee)

Or do you allow “yourself” to be entirely overwritten by the other? Does one bad apple spoil the bunch? Does it infest and infect, slowly, piece by piece, cell by cell, like a virus spreading, changing, overlapping, until everything that was You, your ultimate self, your essential Being, is no longer what is was.

Will your Heart be Broken Dirk?

You make jokes about cutting pieces off yourself before it’s too late, like it’s the only solution. That piece of you is gone, it’s rotting, and it’s spreading fast.

But you need someone else to do it for you now. Somehow, right now, you’re not building up the resolve to cut off your own head like you might have done before. Have their insidious roots taken hold in you that deeply?

Destroy “Yourself” or be Destroyed by Yourself Dirk

But I guess it’s different when you’re just cutting off a piece of flesh representing “you”

Are you more hesitant to cultivate or destroy your ultimate self itself? To suddenly force yourself to decide what kind of person you are? How does a computer program itself while it’s running?

Ignorant of that fact that everyone is constantly doing that to themselves all the time with the choices they make, what they choose to do, or the kinds of people they decide to be?

People decide who they ultimately are with their own choices, they may not have access to directly fiddle with their ultimate selves as if it were a physical being under a microscope, but what most people do or what Dirk has the ability to do are functionally identical. He’s just overthinking it and getting too caught up in the pretentious philosophy of it all

#Homestuck #Meat or Candy #Epilogues #UPD8 #Dirk Strider

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talkingtotheapples · 5 years

Text

Hey remember when I said I’d do a lyric analysis of northern downpour, and then didn’t do that for like 6 months? yeah here we go:

the opening line of Northern Downpour: “if all our life is but dream” really sets the tone for the song, its half quoting a children’s song; establishing the almost nursery rhyme aesthetic the has going on for large parts. The changes Ryan makes to the line also reveal important thematic elements in the song--“life is but a dream” is changed from a definitive and general statement; its no longer commenting about general reality but rather questioning all his established feelings about their relationship. He is turning to the other person and saying “is any of this real? is this all a fantasy ive built up in my head?” it feels almost as if he is Begging them to contradict him, to tell him what they have is good and Real and not just “broken glass”, that for a second looked like “diamonds”, and although theres a desperate uncertainty to how hes wording these thoughts “/if/ all our life is but a dream” “/do appear/ to be, just like broken glass /to me/“ you get a sense its less that he’s unsure and more that he has this realization and he is /Praying/ he is wrong.

The second verse seems to be the other person’s reply, but instead of addressing his thoughts and questions they turns to what seem like general criticisms of him “i cant believe that genius only comes across in storms of fable foreign tongues”, this line seems to be a dig at how he expresses himself: unorganized, wild, and hard to understand, while they insist thats this cant be the only way, they offer him this rather than, as noted before, addressing his fear that they’re relationship is nothing more than a fantasy or a dream.

The chorus seems to shift away slightly from the conversation the first to verses are detailing, the tone also switches back to the nursery rhyme that was present in the first line of the song. It’s directed to a personified version of the moon, a common theme in english nursery rhymes, it’s also reminiscent of ‘rain, rain go away’ although reversed in meaning. Overall the line is almost a prayer, begging the moon to say in the in the hope that that would freeze this moment forever, this hope adds a sense of anxiety to the whole song as if whatever happiness is held in this moment is fragile and will inevitably end with the day break. Using a child like tone gives the line an innocent edge, innocent as in ignorant rather, he’s asking for an impossible thing, wording it like a nursery rhyme or children’s song acknowledges this, asking for this night/this moment/ maybe even this entire relationship to last is as fruitless as child singing to that rain in the hope that it will bring fair weather

“Sugarcane in the easy morning/weathervanes my one and lonely”; speaks of Contrast; the first line feels to me to be about happiness and contentment: sugarcane is sweet and wonderful but also simple and natural, he also used the word ‘easy’ which i think compounds that, its a situation that is happy and beautiful but also effortless then you add the setting of the morning time which brings with it a sense of domesticality, and so the line paints a picture of a relationship or situation that is blissful and warm but natural and content also(much like a home)This is immediately contrasted with the next line; ‘weathervanes my one and lonely’ : weathervanes are an image that instantly conjure(for me anyway) ideas of isolation, they are distant from everything, they’re an object you own but have no physical contact with, this is then emphasized by the weathervane being described as lonely, Ryan, by using a possessive phrase aligns himself with the weathervane, creating the suggestion they are the same(he is also isolated and alone). Further more the choice of a weathervane suggests location as well, theyre an object rarely if ever found in the city, an object that is completely connected to farm life, as this is a song written by someone who lives in a city but travels long, long distances through the country seeing things like weathervanes would be a visual reminder that he’s a far from home as it well as being an object that is ‘lonely’ in its own right, bringing us back to the ‘one and lonely’ part, they’re joined together by their equal loneliness.

we shift back to the conversation here with a description of the of the other person talking: “through playful lips made of yarn”, Ryan has been using body imagery through out the song, and theres often been a subtle personification of the body parts, which is very true in this case. Instead of the speaker being simply described as talking the words move through their ‘playful lips’, which gives the words an edge of agency in their own right. But in this case he hasn’t just personified the lips, he’s also given them a sense of the artificial, by describing them as being made of ‘yarn’, not only is it a artificial material, it also has a strikingly different texture to lips(the line wouldnt have the same effect had he used plastic instead) the description gains a very haptic feel to it, but also alien and strange, potentially indicating his feelings towards the other person at this point.

The emotion of the verse starts shifts back to the more distraught feeling at the start of the song, the “Capricorn” is described as “fragile” and the words the came from the “playful lips” now “unravel”. As if the as the conversation progresses the other person gets more and more upset, and their speech more jumbled.

There isn’t a clear indication who or what ‘that fragile capricorn’ is, the natural inclination is that it’s the other person(presumably they are a capricorn) but its place in the verse seems to suggest otherwise— it seem to be the cause for the mood change, “/That/ fragile Capricorn /unraveled/ words like moths upon old scarves”, like it is the cause for the unraveling, I want to argue that its an outside force or situation, potentially the conversation they are currently having; tentative and hanging over their heads.

this is immediately followed by, what ryan described as the central line of p.o.: “I know the world’s a broken bone but melt your headaches call it home”, in the context of this song potentially being about a troubled relationship it could be taken to be about that specifically, a plea either to the other person or himself to keep working on the problems in their relationship, but I think its almost meant to be taken in general sense,(potentially as well) its not enough to just acknowledge the ways in which your life, or the wide world is hard and harmful and then to wallow it that pain, rather you have to then be proactive in that situation and Make It Better(which is a bit of a theme in jon’s solo music but i Digress).

the song then moves back into a repetition of the ‘sugarcane’ line, eventually interlaced with ‘hey moon’, finally the song ends on two new lines: “You are at the top of my lungs/Drawn to the ones who never yawn” and return to the body imagery that has ran through the song, “you are at the top of my lungs” has implication of someone ‘taking your breathe away’(tho its infinitely better worded that i actually feel guilty describing it as such but i dont know how else to put it). yawning is a sign of tiredness or boredom so the opposite of that invokes connotations of focus or intensity, tho i got to say im unclear as to whether that line refers to Him being “drawn to the ones who never yawn” or the other person, I default on it being the other person because of the wording but it makes more sense to me if it refers to ryan idk

basically northern downpour is a song that sits tentatively strung between the knowledge that maybe this relationship isnt the healthiest and being So in love with the other person that you almost dont care but mainly desperately want to be proved wrong, desperately begging the moon to stay in the sky so this Good moment doesnt end and you wont have to face reality by the harsh light of day

Some Notes

•this might be a a bit of a hot take idk it isnt really what i thought about the song until i thought intensly about each line for hours but once i landed on it the more i became convinced that was what the song was talking about, its still just my interpretation tho, how ever you interpretated it is just as valid u know, and if you wanna send me your thoughts about northern downpour(or any song off pretty odd lmao) please feel free! i obviously have Thoughts lmaoo

•kinda wanna write an entire piece about how northern downpour, dangrous blues and lie to the truth are basically a trilogy, kinda wanna cry

•i had to physically stop myself from writing an entire paragraph about how ‘i know the worlds a broken bone but melt your headaches call it home’ is a progression from the central ideas of fever and im real emotional about it but i managed to control myself cos it didnt really fit

#also feel free to to send me a message if there are typos in this i tried hard to edit it but i wouldnt be suprized if i missed some #ryan ross #pretty. odd.#panic! at the disco #patd #txt #long post #sorry i donno how to do readmores on mobile and the desktop version really didnt want me to post this 😫

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inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years

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I'm a bit embarrassed to ask this. Have you ever read a fic that, stylistically, it's beautiful, linguistically it's tight, and it's obvious the author poured their whole self into constructing the plot, crafting the world, and nailing down the characterizations, but... You just don't get it? Like, perhaps there's some insight you're missing, and it's almost there, you think maybe you're close to getting what the author is trying to portray, but you just can't make the connection necessary?

(Embarrassed nonny continued) You even reread to make sure you didn’t skip anything, but it’s like it just seems that something missing? Or that you’re the one missing something vital? So you go to the comments to see if anyone else is confused, but all you see are lovely, supportive compliments about how beautiful the story is (and it is), or how heartwrenching it is (usually so). But you seem to be the only one not getting it?

(Embarrassed nonny cont. again) Is it destructive to let the author know that I think a story is beautiful in it’s telling, but that I don’t quite understand it? I don’t want to offend the author, who has clearly worked very hard, and I appreciate them so much. But, I want to understand the story they’re telling, even if I’m the only one not getting it. If that even makes any sense. P.S.- thanks for always taking time to listen to fandom woes and fielding requests. You’re a champion! ❤

Hi Nonny!

First of all, there’s nothing for you to be embarrassed about! Stories are partly about authorial intent, and partly about reader interpretation; no two people will interpret a story the same, and no author SHOULD expect a reader to interpret their story exactly as the author intended. SHERLOCK is a perfect example of this (the writers SAY they meant it to be one thing and literally the ENTIRE FANDOM is divided on what’s actually being shown on screen), or if you want to be more classical, the works of Shakespeare as well.

In fact, Shakespeare is a perfect example of your problem: I love Shakespeare: it’s beautifully written, it sounds lovely to the ear, and it invokes imagery based on how someone interprets it. But I sure as heck have NO idea what I read until someone explained it to me, or how I SHOULD have interpreted it (which, is oxymoronic to my point, I know…). Only after I hear how someone else interpreted the work, I can then RE-READ a work and begin to understand what was meant by it, and then develop my own interpretations.

I’ve read a few fics by a couple authors in this fandom where I LOVED their writing, but I had NO idea what was happening until I re-read the fics… it’s a reading comprehension thing with me, I’m sure (my brain tends to move a bit quicker than I can read and talk, and in turn it also tends to wander when my eyes aren’t going fast enough, LOL), but a lot of times, if I just read a fic a second time I can then grasp the words my brain omitted the first time and then really enjoy and love the fic. I hate that about me, but that’s how my brain works… Perhaps it may be the same with your brain? If a fic is well written and you enjoyed it but just had some comprehension issues, perhaps a second read-through will help you as it has done with me :)

So, now to answer your question: if after reading a fic, and you don’t understand it, is it okay to ask the authorial intent of the story? Unfortunately, there is no yes-or-no answer to this question, Lovely, as every author is different. Personally – and this is just for me speaking, and what I would do or what I would not mind if I were the author – I think it’s alright, so long as you are respectful to them! Dig around their user pages and you can often find ways to interact with the author outside of their fics, or information about whether or not they want to read criticism etc. on their stories. If an author doesn’t want any interaction, they’ll be very clear about it, but most authors have ways to get in touch with them, so to ME that’s a saying “hey, if you have any questions, here’s how to get a hold of me!”.

If they have a Tumblr with asks turned on, you can even do it like you have done for me here; write exactly what you mentioned, just tweak a few things: Mention how much you love their prose and their storytelling, and you can really feel how much love they put into the story. You found it interesting, though you’re unclear on a few parts. Ask them kindly how they intended for an audience to read it. Many creators appreciate honesty when talking about their works, so just be honest and say that you didn’t understand something and wouldn’t mind a bit of clarification about something. They can’t fault you for not understanding something, and if they do, well… I find that rather ableist, in my opinion: That’s like telling someone with dyslexia to just stop mixing up letters, or someone who’s native language isn’t English to just learn one of the most complex languages in the world with so many structure rules that make no sense half the time…. *shrugs* It’s harsh of me to say, I am sorry about that, writers, but reading comprehension doesn’t come easily for everyone.

ANYWAY, back to my point: An author, so long as you are respectful (and maybe peppering in some compliments and praise never hurts either… a lot of us creative-types have praise kinks) and don’t throw a backhanded compliment (like don’t say: “Your work is so amazing! Though I think you should make it easier for people to understand it, your words are too complex”), they will be more than happy to write out their intent for the story. Let them know it’s YOU who’s not understanding (so, “I have trouble understanding this part” as opposed to “you should make this work easier to read for everyone”… make the onus on YOU). DON’T be demanding (like, don’t say something that can be interpreted as “it’s YOUR responsibility to cater to MY need to understand”), and be patient for a reply.

You can see why this isn’t an easy yes-or-no answer, LOL.

Essentially, kindness begets kindness, and respect begets respect. And – this isn’t an attack on you personally with regards to this ask, because I know my audience are adorably shy beans – it might be a show of good faith and intentions to stay off anon when you ask your question; it shows the author that you aren’t being malicious, just simply a smol bean who loves stories and want to learn more about theirs. BUT, it IS okay to stay on-anon if you are shy / worried about not the author but other people interpreting it the wrong way, just make sure you tailor your question to the author in a respectful way that it comes across as respect. Perhaps something like this:

Hi, [author]! I really love your story, [story title]! It’s well-written and I can really tell how much you love this story and how much soul you put into it. I just had a question for you with regards to [name concern here]. [state question here]. I have trouble sometimes with [reading comprehension, English/language, dyslexia, etc.], and I would love to know what your ideas and thought process was for [character, plot point, situation, etc.]. Understanding what the author intended really helps me enjoy the stories even more than I already did, and your thoughts would be really helpful for when I re-read your story! Thank you so much for your time, and thank you for blessing us with this beautiful story!

Or something like that, LOL. And if you genuinely aren’t a native-language speaker, let them know that it’s not your first language so you’re just honestly not grasping a colloquialism that’s common in English but not in, say, German. It’s more common than you think! I’ve had people ask me in private before about a phrase I’ve written or about how they should interpret a meta of mine; I’ve never taken insult upon it, and in fact I love helping people understand my work so that they can enjoy other peoples’ content in the future.

As an additional thought I just had, I think a good example of fandom-understanding-authors is, actually, the @johnlockficclub; every couple months or so we read new stories, and then at the end of the story, we ask authors our questions about their intent of the stories, and in turn the author gets an interesting (I hope) insight into how various people interpreted their stories. Even during the live-chats leading up to the author q-and-a, we all see how we each interpreted certain sections of the chapters we read that week, and see various viewpoints we never considered. So I think that is a wonderful way to see authorial intent vs. reader interpretation, and as far as I know, all the authors we’ve “interviewed” loved just getting that kind of feedback for their stories. You should join in on at least the author interviews just to see how they go and give you some ideas on how an author will take feedback. It’s so fascinating to me!

Just a fun little anecdote that oftentimes, it is a positive experience for an author because most of them love to talk about their stories – their stories are their children, and they care deeply for them, because it’s a part of them, and it’s an expression of their love. They WANT you to understand and enjoy their work. It’s a cyclical thing: if you understand their children so you can love them too, then they will love their fanbase and will want to continue to write since they received feedback that was validating to them that they produce work that people enjoy and want to know more about.

Finally, I’d love for some authors to weigh in on their thoughts about this; would you be offended if someone loved your story but would want your clarification on some things, or want to know how you intended for the audience to perceive it? Please let us know!

Sorry this answer was so long, but I hope it helps!

P.S. Aww, you’re far too kind, Nonny! me. XD

#steph replies #my advice #fan fiction #authorial intent vs reader interpretation #my thoughts #Anonymous

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decadentrpg-blog · 5 years

Photo

WELCOME EMILY, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF HELOISE DELACOUR

Admins Note: Heloise was certainly a difficult choice to make but after much assessment, I want to say that I absolutely adore what you’ve brought to the table! From build up of her background to every little historical reference that was placed within your application, it cohesively created this duality that Heloise has! I’ve enjoyed every interaction she has as well as the clarity and rationale behind her thinking! Your faceclaim request for Virginia Gardner has been approved. Congratulations on your acceptance again, please make sure to head your way to the checklist and submit your account within the next 24 hours!

Out of Character

Name / Alias: Emily

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: Twenty-two

Timezone: GMT.

In Character Application

Full Name: Heloise Delacour

Sexuality: Lesbian.

You like girls. No, that’s wrong. You love girls. You love the smoothness of their skin. You love their gentle curves, their bodies like oceans, refreshing and divine. You love stroking their hair as you lie between sweat-soaked sheets, curling it around your fingertips. You love sharing lipstick shades so it won’t get too messy when you kiss and the sound beaded dresses make when they hit the ground. Most of all, you love who you become around them. Bursting at the seams with euphoria, without a trace of shakiness in your footsteps, you unveil the creature you fought so hard to become - self-assured and valiant. You always slipped into her without thinking about it, knowing instinctively, that this was right. This was who you were supposed to be.

Gender/Pronouns: Cis-female, she/her

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor.

The hat was adamant. They wanted you in Gryffindor. They wanted you to learn to harness your own roar, the find power in your sort of bravery - perhaps even to tame the brasher instincts of your peers, to calm the storm inside of them. Not every kind of bravery favours the bold, the defiant, the loud. There are different kinds of bravery. The courage to carry on when the chains around your neck drag you to the ground. The strength to try and try and try. The valour in turning yourself into an anchor, a steady weight for the rest of the world to ground themselves on. There are all sorts of bravery in this world, each as useful, each as needed, as the last. Children, yourself included, see so much, but so little at the same time.

You didn’t glimpse the potential in yourself. You wouldn’t for many years yet.

But the hat knew.

You pleaded for Hufflepuff, knowing you’d be able to carve a home out of the house. The world underestimated badgers, sneering at their perceived lack of intelligence, wit or ambition. You didn’t see that at all. You saw steadiness, a bedrock to build a person upon. It wasn’t a leap of faith. But society couldn’t be built around those who flew. Someone had to be waiting, down below, rooted to the earth, ready to catch falling angels.

The hat laughed.

“Better be…” Panic rose in your chest, a knot tightening inside of you. “GRYFFINDOR.”

They weren’t unkind to you. But you were the fawn in the pride of lions, the hovering figure in the background, the mute who never could make herself heard. Years later, with your personhood more fully attached, half of you wistfully wishes you could go back and do it better. Do it again. And yet, in your heart, you know there’s no value in looking backwards. You must journey on.

Head canons:

Trigger warnings for violence, war, alcoholism and mentions of abuse.

I. la petite fille

Your father - and you only have the confidence to say this now you’re a fledgling, grown to use her own voice - always cared far too much about what people thought. Cream of French society, darling of the elite, a career-hungry politician intent on climbing the ladder. Ironically, the sunshine in your soul can be traced directly back to him. And yet, where yours is woven into the very essence of your being, a warm touch to steady a storm, an easiness to still a monster, a brightness to diminish the darkness, his is a mask, a choking falseness. It was that, more than anything else, that scared you. He changed before your very eyes - shaking hands and kissing cheeks one second - to plotting behind their back the next. Nothing about him was real. He slipped between your fingers, never a solid thing to hang onto.

(The feeling, you know, is mutual. You were a grand disappointment. Too timid to follow in his footsteps and too honest to lie. You’re mostly strangers now, each unable to understand the other).

Your mother you know a little better. An English rose, she fell for your father’s charms one summer, a fling that never was supposed to turn into a marriage. You were the bump that interrupted those plans, the shame that would have befallen her good name. Both parties were hastily married and that was that. You’ve always wondered if she blamed you for it. Always been too afraid to ask. Your mother, you know, was miserable, far far away from home, shackled to a man she barely liked, forced to play the part of politicians wife. When she played it well, there was harmony in the household. But if she slipped up…all hell broke loose. And her, with her love of expensive wine and flirting with other people’s husbands, did mess up. You never witnessed the war inside of your father unfold, merely lived its after effects. Silently, you’d pull a blanket over your mother’s quivering frame and give your father his favourite cigar.

(As you grew, you became rather good at predicting the ticking time bombs. So before the storm ravaged, you nearly always scrambled to safety, grabbing your teddy bear and retreating to the back of the wardrobe. You never found a secret world in the back of there, but you did find safety - and that was a comfort in and of itself).

Peacemaker, your father would sometimes say with affection, your mother with scorn. You’d gulp and nod silently, opinions kept to yourself. Over time, a survival instinct became a pattern and from a pattern into a habit. Such things are hard to shake.

Ii. maison choisie

Your mother hailed from London’s big smoke and your father made Paris his home, so you’ve always been accustomed to cities - you could even say it’s in your blood. But nowhere ever felt like home more than your Grand-Mere’s home a stone’s throw from Amiens. Reluctantly, with great effort, your father would make the bi-annual privilege there, dragging your mother in tow. You never had to be forced, you galloped ahead, a country girl at heart. There was something so liberating about Amiens, especially in the summer, where the line between the fields and sky was impossible trace and wildflowers bloomed. Your grandmother was kinder than your parents, the only one who could pull you out of your shell - but even then, only when you were alone. More a hedgewitch than practiced individual, she used to set you upon a stool as she practiced her potions, entrusting you with the responsibility of stirring from time to time. She was the one who taught you that magic had more than rigid purpose, that it would be as beautiful as life itself.

She also taught you a second, valuable lesson.

You remember the very first muggle you met. You remember them because they waved joyfully as you stepped into the town square - and knew your father by reputation, your Grand-Mere by face. Your father, ever the diplomat, turned his face away, pretending not to have heard. You, bashfully, didn’t meet their eyes either. It was only later, when your parents had been placated by a bottle of wine or two, that your Grand-mere took you aside.

“Why didn’t you wave back?” Dumbstruck, you look for somewhere to scurry away and hide. Gently, she took your hand into her own. “I won’t hurt you chérie.”

“Maman et Papa didn’t.” And you never were awfully comfortable around strangers, bashfulness seizing control of you.

“They were wrong to.” Bopping your nose, your grand-mere drew giggles from you. “They didn’t wave because he was…” her voice strained over the English word. “A muggle. Have they told you not to talk to muggles?”

You shook your head.

“Don’t let them. There will be some, especially when you go to school, who tell you not to talk to witches who have muggle parents. You musn’t let them order you around. No one is any better or lesser because of the blood in our veins. Even muggles…they’re not witches. But they’re not the enemy. After all, if I never spoke to a muggle, I’d never speak to anyone! Never forget that.”

You promised you wouldn’t. You haven’t since.

Iii. armes de guerre Ultimately, it was war that drove you away from your beloved France and your cherished Grand-mere, who refused to stand down and flee when the German troops overran Amiens. You like to imagine she would not take a cowards way out, apparating whilst the others were rats in a barrel, trapped by the advance. You like to imagine she fought to defend her farm with every trick up her sleeve. You like to imagine she remained strong and valiant until the very end. But you’ll never know. The war snatched her from you, her story lost to the wind. All you had left was an owl from the French ministry and the personal condolences of the French Minister La Magie.

It took you a very long time to summon the courage to return. And even then, you couldn’t do it alone. Kenshin stepped in without being asked, the year after you left Hogwarts, stability at your side as you confronted the ruins of the happiest parts of your childhood. Violence had ravaged the landscape, scarring those who survived. Left with nothing, you saw the hallows of hunger in their sunken cheeks and poverty wrecked on their bones. Beauty had perished and been left to die. But in the ruins of her farm, you saw all was not lost. The Peach trees were still rooted, their bounty just as sweet. The goats, against the odds, made it out of the shelling alive. The old stool you had once assisted your grandmother had merely cracked, not splintered. Life went on - and through the cracks of darkness, light emerged.

You saw something of yourself in that light.

A hopeful creature, timidly taking her first steps into the world. A passionate believer in the strength of goodness, in victory and vanquish over evil. That progress, ultimately, would triumph. That even in the face of blasphemy, there is room for beauty, for brightness. The trick is in finding it and nourishing it, so that it may grow.

From seed to sapling to great oak.

The spark within yourself ignited that day. You felt your grandmother’s presence and smiled. You mourned, not in sadness, but in joy - for all the happiness that had been, for all that would yet come.

The world treads down on optimists, mocking their faith. But you’ve learnt there’s courage in that kind of relentless determination. That day, you felt its whispers in your soul. That day, you swore to let it go free.

Iv. soldat improbable The time that followed ‘The Great War’ was supposed to be the long peace. If you look with hooded eyes, you’d find that in the cityscape of New York. Illicit drinking. Parties that last until dawn. Jazz bands. Woman’s emancipation. There is so much beauty, so much progress. But squint harder - and you’d find an underground war, a cold one, lurking just below the surface. It’s cause is more just than any muggle one ever fought. It isn’t a battle between great powers, princes and their cousins. It’s between right and wrong, progress and past, egalitarianism and inequality.

You know you’re not a likely candidate to fight in it. Most overlook you, sneering at your daintiness, soft smiles and open heart. They should understand that it’s what makes you strong, too. All you want is some small part in this larger battle, to be a part of the greater good. More than anything else, you’re a visionary, able to picture a world beyond this hatred. If you can see the brightness, you can be the brightness, a bedrock for those wearier than you, a guide for those who might come in your direction. You’re no warrior, not in the conventional sense, but not every battle should be fought with a weapon. Some need softer tools. You could be that person.

It is the sum of your duties with Dahlia. You see yourself in her, the girl you were but a few years ago, timid and unsure of the power in her own voice, but possessing a rosy heart. She deserves better. You long to show her that, to share your brightness and certainty in betterness, to pull her from the den of snakes and away from the Pride Society. You’re not asking her to fight, for the Coalition, for you…never. You simply want to help her. You would do anything - give her the means to runaway, a safe roof to shelter under, because you long to see her flourish. You’re just so afraid of failure…of failing her, your duty and yourself. The powers against you are overwhelming, those who wield the weapons lethal. The horrors she confesses terrify you. Light, as bright as it is, can be snuffed out. That is your greatest fear where Dahlia is concerned.

V. Coup de main As fun you’ll admit the parties Wren and Kenshin drag you out to are, you couldn’t carve a life out of them. Pleasure is for hedonists - and you do not count yourself among their ranks. When you found your own voice, the grit beneath porcelain skin, you were determined that it should count. You sought purpose in yourself, a way to matter. Almost as if you were trying to prove yourself…to yourself.

You found clarity in the most unlikely of places. A non-descriptive building in Queens - that would appear empty to an unsuspecting muggle. It’s purpose only became clear when you stepped inside, finding an overworked and overwhelmed refugee agency. In the aftermath of the great war, the creation of a dozen new states in Europe, thousands of wizards chose to emigrate instead, heading to the United States in search of a better life.

It’ll be tough work, the supervisor warned, staring you up and down, disdainfully. You bit your lip. Old habits die hard.

I’m tougher than I look. Promise. Your voice rang with clarity, in how true that statement had become.

You began volunteering on a trial basis. You distributed donations and held shaky people in your arms. You played with children and made puppets dance. After a fortnight, you began to offer your services as a translator, hoping to connect people into the interior of the US. A little while after that, you suggested you could be used by the organisation at large, rather than ad-hoc.

You felt a rush in your chest, advocating for yourself. You felt strong and brave and…right.

VI. bizarreries personnelles

Here are the little things that make you, you.

You never broke the habit of walking on your tiptoes, a legacy left from a childhood full of ballet dancing. Slender limbs, porcelain skin, your teacher used to sigh and wish you centre stage. Bashfully, you refused, your cheeks darkening. The spotlight was never yours to claim.

You cannot cook without making a mess. In your presence, the kitchen comes a bomb sight, ravaged by war. Nose flour-stained, fingers sticky, you chase Kenshin around the kitchen. You always catch him. He always allows himself to get caught.

Your pastries are infamous, light and puffy, the sort only the french know how to make. You refine your recipes with magic and tap your nose whenever anyone asks for their secrets. (Later, in fine ink, you pen them a letter, containing the details).

You despise British food. You ate dutifully at Hogwarts, too shy to even dream of asking for an alternative. Toad in the hole. Pies. Casseroles. Blegh.

You bit your fingernails until you were fifteen years old. Your mother enchanted them after that, exasperated at your lack of self-control. The spell has long worn off, but the manicure never lasts long. It’s a nervous tick.

You used to chew your hair. You threw off that habit by twelve.

Birthdays are your favourite times of the year. You take great pride in the gifts you give friends, a thoughtful gesture behind each one. You do, however, despise your own birthday. Being at the centre of attention makes you uncomfortable, you’d much rather spread and share the joy. Luckily, everyone’s learnt not to throw you surprise birthday parties. Instead, you have small, intimate gatherings.

(You and Kenshin have a ritual. A cupcake at midnight as eve becomes day.)

You’re hopeless at keeping plants alive. There isn’t a green bone - or thumb - in your body. You failed herbology miserably.

But you’re incredibly attentive when it comes to writing in your diary, daily and in french, to prevent eavesdropping eyes. A habit you haven’t shaken since your days in Gryffindor.

Your patronus is a lamb. An individual with a lamb patronus has a sort of natural innocence about them, and have a very serene disposition. They are kind to most, though they tend to have a difficult time reaching out and expressing themselves. They have a shy aspect of them that is not only social, but inner, which makes them hesitant to do many things. That said, they are very patient and calm creatures, which allow them to be workable with this nature.

You talk too much when you’re nervous. Far too much. About things that have nothing to do with anything. The weather. The latest show that opened on Broadway. The dance craze everyone’s talking about. Whether you should get a bob. You blabber, filling the space with…words. It’s endearing to most, but you despise it in yourself.

Your wand is 9 ½”, french-made and slim. Beech and Unicorn Hair. “The true match for a beech wand will be, if young, wise beyond his or her years, and if full-grown, rich in understanding and experience. Beech wands perform very weakly for the narrow-minded and intolerant. When properly matched, the beech wand is capable of a subtlety and artistry not seen in any other wood, hence its lustrous reputation.”

Languages are your forte. You have a knack for wrapping your tongue around them, inheriting a little of your father’s silver-tongued mantle. French is your mother tongue, but you’ve added English, Spanish, Italian and a pinch of Latin to the mix.

When you’re making a bold declaration or gesture, you rehearse the words in your mind the night before, like a politician preparing for a speech. You muse over the most effective way to get your point across, the comfort a person will be most receptive to, or whether it’s better just to hold someone and let them cry.

Connection expansion:

I. meilleur ami (Note: I’m happy to change all of this if the Kenshin player disagrees, this is merely my interpretation).

“Mon Frere…” Kenshin catches your grin. Deliberately, his mouth forms an ‘o’. “Ma sœur” You wince at the deliberately butchered pronunciation, but smile nonetheless. He’s always had a particular knack for that, drawing the happiness out of you. And you for him. The only label that fits your description is that of platonic soulmate. Or big brother. For truly, the lines between friendship and family have blurred, that you can’t tell them apart. Certainly, he feels more like family than your own blood ever did.

You met on your tenth day at Hogwarts, in the middle of Herbology class. Devil’s snare wrapped around your hand, you panicked, but were too shy to raise you concerns, suffering in silence. Where few did, Kenshin noticed you - and calmed you down with that bluntness of his. Before you knew it, you were smiling, then laughing and then free. You’ve been attached at the hip since - and shall be, until death do you part. The years did little to change the pair of you. Where some friends grow apart, you grew together, slotting like two jigsaw puzzle pieces. By third year, you were spending Christmas together, Kenshin sensing your unspoken reluctance to go back to France and face the holidays with your parents. After your first one together, you confessed the truth, honesty no one had even known. But most of all, he brought light into his life - different to yours, more brazen and bold. Like two twinned suns, strung across the sky. He is your confidante, secret keeper, joker, dance partner and now, roommate.

The latter made sense. When the two of you ended up in New York at the same time (it’s impossible to imagine the two of you oceans apart, impossible and terrible and dreadful), it made sense for the pair of you to find a two-bed apartment in Manhattan and make it your home. You are as compatible roommates as you are friends.

And, for the first time, he made a house a home.

II. le fruit interdit (Again, I’m happy to alter things dependent on plotting w/ Prosperina’s player) You shouldn’t want to kiss her. If you are the doe, she is the wolf - a huntress determined to strike clean. In your heart, you know you should hate that dynamic, as you know you should despise her - resent the intimidation that rises through your bones, abhore the uncertainty she makes you feel.. You should be afraid. Very afraid.

And in so many ways, you are. You’re scared of what your attraction to her says about you, now that you are both girls grown, living with the choices you make as adults. You aren’t school children anymore, you aren’t praying to be noticed, doodling hearts with your names encased in it. You’re fearful of what might happen if you find yourselves alone, in a dark - or a light - room. But you’re more frightened, in a strange way, of nothing happening at all.

With Prosperina, there are so many unspoken anxieties, so many things you can’t possibly wrap your head around, that you can’t possibly know. Why she notices you now. When you began to crave the burn. If the risk is worth a moments ecstasy. How beauty could wear such thorns.

You know, now, how Eve felt, in the Garden of Eden. Just one bite, the snake hissed. Just one kiss, Prosperina whispers. You have no wish to shed your wings and toss yourself from Paradise’s gate. But she’s just as beautiful as any angel you’ve ever gazed upon.

In Character Paragraph:

Thursday night, 9pm sharp, the Yale Club. Dress elegantly. Heloise didn’t need to glance down at the invitation to know its contents, her heart having memorised them ten times over, skipping a beat each time it paused at a cursive. Even Prosperina’s writing was beautiful. She would have liked to say that the invitation was unexpected, out of the blue and had been firmly rejected. Yet, since she distastes lies, she could not.

Heloise had, however, made an attempt or two to excuse herself. Sending an owl in return, she had outlined her disapproval of the Pride Society and its galas in no uncertain terms. Prosperina had take an age to respond - deliberately, Heloise supposed, to make her nerves hop and jump. When she had, Heloise could almost taste her tone. It’s not one of those. It’s for charity. Don’t you support charity? She had caved. Heloise couldn’t be sure if that was strength or weakness, good or bad.

Three days later, another letter had arrived. Wear pink. It matches the blush on your face.

Stepping into the room, Heloise steeled herself, a picture of defiance in angel-white, beads reflecting the light back.

Not so long ago, she would have cowered, a ghostly slip of a thing, trembling in the corner. Glass of champagne stitched to her hand, she would have sipped until someone had taken pity on her - and even then, she might have fled. That worked under the assumption she plucked the courage to attend at all. Time sandpapered everyone, some for the better, others for the worse. Heloise liked to think she took after the former.

The first eye she caught was from across the room, her gaze instantly drawn to the slip of a girl shrouded by demons, unable to do anything but stare from her cage. Dahlia. It hurt to see her here, to see the shackles bound and to know she was powerless to help. To approach her, to take her hands into her own and wrap her arms around her shoulders was to betray her newfound friend, to expose her doubts to the world. There was cruelty in watching her suffer - but there was greater cruelty in taking a hammer to the foundations below her feet. That wasn’t Heloise’s job. Hers was to encourage Dahlia to flutter her own wings, to learn how to fly. All in good time. Smiling softly across the room, she let her face say what her tongue couldn’t. Stay strong, keep the faith.

The second pair were Prosperina’s - appearing from nowhere, sneaking up behind. Departing from conventions and norms, she didn’t bother with small-talk. “You look ravishing. But not as pretty as you would have had in pink.”

Tongue-tied, Heloise searched for a response. No one had the power to shrink her anymore, now that she had freed her voice from its restraints. And yet, that didn’t mean anymore wit had returned to it. In times like these, she prayed for Kenshin’s presence at her side, always ready with a sharp retort, the sort that drew him closer to someone. Or even Wren, brazen and bold, who spoke without thought. You don’t want to impress her! One voice screamed.Not like you imagined you might, a lifetime ago.

And yet, a little bit of her did.

Heloise spurned her interest. But a little bit of her didn’t want to do without it either.

“I - Thank you. You look…” Staring at Prosperina for the first time, Heloise felt the breath be stolen from her lungs. Divine. Enchanting. “Like a million bucks.” Slanting her voice into an American accent for comedic effect, she immediately regretted her choice no sooner had it been said. “And this…it’s certainly big. Very big. I suppose that’s good. The more people you can fit in, the more donations you can collect for charity.”

Prosperina laughed. Heloise was never sure if she was being laughed at or with. She preferred to think it was the latter.

“The committee had a few reservations. Something about…vermin control. The guest list is rather exclusive, you see.”

Confusion flashed across her face. It wasn’t as if New York was a stranger to rodents…but something about her tone, about the look on her face…made it clear that it wasn’t animals she was referring to. Without noticing, Heloise had become a player in the game. The smile froze on her face. “I sure hope that isn’t a reference to the architects who built the place. Or the perfectly nice people going about their business on the floor below. They’re not doing any harm.”

“Ah yes, the No-Maj’s, as our Yank friends love to say.”

Heloise tensed on the mention of that word. She despised it. No-Maj. So…derogatory. And rather rude. As if they didn’t count as people, or deserve respect, on the merit of something they didn’t have - and had no choice in having. “I hate that term. I hate - you shouldn’t talk about them like that. Nobody should. They’re hardly hurting anyone. And technically, this is their territory so really we should - be respectful.” Exhaling heavily, she steadied herself.

“Oh,” Prosperina leaned in, all smiles now, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “You’re such a doll. I was only playing. But I can be nice, if you ask nicely.” Her touch felt like electricity, the sort of chemistry that couldn’t be duplicated or faked. When it was real, it was real. “I’ll go fetch us expensive champagne to make amends.” Half-purr, she broke off and Heloise dropped her gaze. “Pink Champagne, I think.”

Cheeks deepening into rosy-red, Heloise watched her depart, wishing she could look away.

Extras:

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strawberryspeachy · 4 years

Text

I wonder if im about to get fired again

Last year i got fired because a teacher who acted like he wanted to be my friend hated when I reciprocated that want.

Ive worked with about 55 other teachers since him and none of them

Ask about my weekend every week. Ask about my friends. Ask about my personal life. Stare at me in the office. Lean over me and touch me. Come look through my folder that im holding to just point out the paper im looking for (they just offer me a new one if they think i dont have it)

But. I was totally stalking him. And got fired.

Now im working at 2 schools

One with 4/5 horrible teachers

The other with 4/5 wonderful teachers

At the horrible teacher school one has been (and i dont say this about people often. Actually ever. I assume ppl hate me... but this woman has bee - well)

K so i made a newsletter for the schools. The good school put it out for the students and that was that. The bad school told me i could distribute it. So i asked this teacher where

She took me into the hallway and showed me a board. She told me to put the papers on those walls. And then she gave me pins. So i did.

Then she told my company i put papers up without permission

Ive worn the same clothes to all 7 schools ive worked at plus two camps. Never got a complaint. Until now. She complained about my skirt and socks

She said in a fly away statement when i started that because were teachers we cant travel because of corona and must stay home - it irriated me because i clearly understood that she was telling me that i need to stay home when im not working. Fuck that! But i just agreed with her. Her first question after my summer break was “you had a long vacation, did you go anywhere”

She asked in a happy voice - pretending that was wanted to hear about something exciting. But. Bitch i have a good memory. I told her i mostly stayed home and only went to a nearby town.

K so like. Thing is. She knows im probably lying (cause im young and not from this country. No one would stay home for a month) so the way she responded was kinda pissed off that she cant prove me wrong or report me or anything - then in the middle of class she asked about my housemates

1) i have no control over them

2) your first question was already invasive and this is stupid

3) youve asked me a question that i cant answer correctly. If i say i dont know youll say i might have corona because my housemates probably brought it home. If i say they went out - same thing. If i say they stayed home - another obvious lie. I told her that they are all students and had class so I think they were home. Again. She was annoyed by this answer

She constantly makes side remarks about “foregners”

She wont translate the questions that students ask her to ask me - and when i understand them and answer she acts flustered and annoyed

Shes bad at english and writes shit incorrectly - gives it to me to cold read - then gets mad when i trip over shit thats written incorrectly

She changed the song early last month because I liked it

She talks to me like im a clown hindering the class - walking over and telling me (a person standing quietly waiting for instruction) that now the students must study - the way a parent would tell a 7 year old not to bother the sleeping dog.

I TRIED to have a normal conversation with her because she seemed to be trying and i felt bad. She said it was hot and cold off and on and told me what temperature it would he the next day in celcius. I just said oh. And felt the tention. So i tried to ease it by chuckling and telling her “sorry. You know how america uses Fahrenheit? I dont really understand celcius.” She immediately —- wait hold on

This school makes us write down our temperature in the morning as though that does ANYTHING to stop corona - they dont even check - she harrassed me upon walking in the door to WRITE DOWN MY TEMPERATURE

—- k so no. No easy conversation. She immediately got serious and went how do you understand celcius for your body temperate then??? I told her i convert it.

A couple periods late she inturrupted another teacher talking to me about class and stopped me from going to class to ask me ‘if you dont know celcius how do you write your temperature down in the morning?!?’’ I told her i have a japanese thermometer and just write down what it says. Then she tried to play if off and chuckled like - oh ha i was just wondering. Whats the difference (her face was like enraged before that btw) she asked what the average temperature in Fahrenheit is and i quickly spit out 98.6 while grabbing my book to leave for the class i was now running late for

Shes full on feuding with a boy who “CANT SPEAK JAPANESE” and is “NOT JAPANESE” she tried not to bitch but also bitch about him to me - through this i learned that his mom is Australian. He was born in Japan. Also if her english didnt suck so much she would know that hes not fluent in english

She like the other teachers ask me questions that they dont want answers to. And sometimes is not even just - i wanna write this sentence wrong - does it make sense

No. It doesnt (correct answer- anything you write is correct. Dont worry. Dont ask me. Your perfect)

A couple weeks ago she told me that the song the other teacher chose is a japanese song that was translated into english. She asked it its gramattically correct. I told her that songs dont need to be grammatically correct so its fine. Then she asked me if it makes sense. I told her that its a bit vague but its fine.

She didnt know what vague meant. She asked me to write it down so she could look it up later. Not sure how she took that as an insult but Im sure she did.

And the song is vague. Id figured out that it was a song that was either written for a weird tv show or translated from something else before she even told me

Shes always late for class. She doesnt even leave for class until the bell rings. If she walks in and i was talking with the students - she looks highly uncomfortable - so ive stopped talking to them before she arrives

She wont let them ask me questions. Only her (these past two points go for the other crappy teachers too)

She cant make up her mind whether she wants me to say hello first or her. She cant make up her mind on what she wants me to read or whether she wants me to stop at commas or read full paragraphs or what - and she gets annoyed when i cant read her mind avout it —the others do this too

She reads sentences she wrote (incorrectly) out loud even more wrong - but apparently (going from her face) even though she doesnt know the word for fucking SENTENCES - and calls them “englishes” she heard me add the s to a word that should have been plural but she wrote as singular. She never says the fucking plurals or adds them where they shouldnt - but of course she heard my quick slip of adding an s onto a fucking word

- which really just shows thats she pays way more attention trying to find me doing something wrong than literally ANYTHING ELSE she does

Theres more. Im tired. And so very stressed. Tomorrow i have a meeting after school which i told my company rhat if they want my time they should pay me for it and told them theyre welcome to come to my schools (the one i like and normally can he stress free and get home early from) station

They made up bs as to why they can pay others but not me but did say theyre gonna come to the station

Last tome with the fucking “hanging stuff up without permission” i was of couse told i was in the wrong (BECAUSE JAPANESE CAN DO NO WRONG) and forced to say that i need to communicate better 3 times

Howd i start this? Watch me get fired? Yea i was fired on like the 23rd last year. Watch me get fucking fired again - for again. One racist ass peice of shit teacher

“Well you just gotta suck it up and accept where you are on the food chain” k look. Do you know how much easier and less stressed id be if i was able to do that?! I just. CANT ok. I refuse to think that i am less of a person than any other person. People can treat me that wat and do all they want. But i refuse to think that i am lesser. I am a person. And if i have to respect them they should respect me. Its a reciprocal fucking thing i cant fucking kiss ass

I lived in a house with a woman who wanted me to kiss her ass - and i basically chose not to be treated like a dormat and pike she was my lord. And thus got mentally and emptionally abused for 24 years.

I cant fucking kiss ass. I can be polite. But i cant kiss fucking ass dude. I just cant

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jangbyul · 7 years

Text

I was debating whether I should post this here but i decided that I would because more than anything I want to be able to remember this experience and for those who continue to read this post, maybe it can provide them with more insight on how things operate at Kpop concerts. also, I hope this post can provide some laughter and that whoever reads it, will fall in love with vixx even more because heck I sure did <3

warning: the following blurbs you are about to read contains many many grammatical error and may not even make sense because I wrote it after the concert at around 2am in an attempt to remember everything so please bear with me OTL I also didn't go into too much detail about the format and setlist because I mainly wanted to remember the things VIXX did and their cute interactions with one another. enjoy!

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Rehearsal

They came out in their casual clothes and omg they looked so freaking fluffy!!! And can I just say that they have such amazing skin like holy they didn’t have makeup on but they still looked pretty and glowy and flawless like how? Hongbin was in this navy long zip hoodie and a plain white shirt paired with blacked jeans? Damn he looked so good in such a simple outfit! Poor bb looked so sleepy though :( hyukkie omg I feel bad because I don’t remember exactly what he was wearing but I think he was wearing a white shirt as well? I was too focused on him being adorable and teasing Leo haha so they performed 2 songs during rehearsal - good night and good morning as well as dynamite and during dynamite hyuk playfully tapped Leo’s cap xD so yeah Leo was wearing a baseball cap with Chicago on it? And his outfit was mostly white, I would say his was the most laid back for sure! Ravi was in a black tee and black pants and a black beanie as well (all black lol) i am sad to say that Ravi looked tired as well and didn’t smile much but he still killed his rap parts though! Next is hakyeon! That boy was dressed up looking chic as hell! He was also in an all black outfit but he had a leather? jacket on and black skinny jeans. He looked like he was in a good mood because he smiled quite often and said some things to the audience. Last but definitely not least is jaehwan. He was in a black hoodie which this scary picture of a doll on it lol as well as black jeans. He was sooo freaking smiley and there were times where he kinda bounced around on stage? He waved a lot to the audience and when rehearsal was over he was the last to leave the stage ^_^

Actual concert

this was such a blur! I was so sad we were only allowed to record 3 songs so I don’t even have a video for on and on (which is my fave song). But they all killed it! 100% killlllled it and they sound just as good live as they do on their CDs, no joke. since Im a hongbin stan I glued my eyes to him the majority of the time but seriously when it comes to dancing, hakyeon draws so much attention. Just the way he effortlessly moves and theres just so much passion when he dances. I couldn’t help but stare *_* jaehwan dances with a lot of power and confidence and he might not be the main dancer but I still think he did an amazing job! hyuk when he dances he’s freaking MANhyuk! he also has a lot of power when he dances like I don’t know how to explain it like his moves are just so intricate? hongbin my precious bean sweated so much LOL it was to the point that he grabbed a towel every chance he got and turned away from the crowd to wipe it xD I could tell he was super focused when dancing and damn he moves fast like one sec he was on the left side of the stage and then the next he was already on the floor on the right side of the stage! Judging by the amount of sweat and how he kept wiping his upper lip cuz of the sweat, he really worked hard <3 (he also freaking did a lip lick thing that drove me into a frenzy ugh) during to us, all the fans held up a banner and just enjoyed the song together. it was such a good feeling, to have so many starlights in one room and have vixx right in front of us ;;;;

Apart from the songs they also did this interactive-ish thing with us! Like prior to going into the concert we were allowed to write something we would like them to do on a sticky (ex. Jaehwan please do aegyo) etc and so hyuk designated himself to be the “MC” and how it worked was that each member would choose one of the stickies for the member on their right. Leo chose first and he chose one for jaehwan and what he had to do was sing a part from his musical. He did so without using his mic and at that moment I knew exactly what an angel sounded like *_* everyone in the crowd was in awe that I think we cheered too early because it looked like jaehwan wanted to continue still but stopped and clapped and then went back to his seat. Hakyeon even pointed out that the crowd was just waiting to scream because we went from “ahhhhh” to “WOOOOOODFGDFGDFGD” real quick haha next jaehwan chose a sticky for hakyeon! He took his time choosing and hakyeon actually got off his seat and went up to jaehwan (I guess to make sure he isn’t choosing something too difficult for hakyeon to do lol) and while jaehwan was choosing he beatboxed a little which drove us insane <3 hyuk said somethings like “oh choose for your love N, you bro N, your mother father N” XDD jaehwan finally chose one which was also for hakyeon to perform a song from his upcoming musical? I wasn’t too sure if it was from a musical because the translator there sucked lol hakyeon said he had to prep because he doesn’t rmr some lines but in the end he sang beautifully like he never ceases to amaze me with his voice that is just so suitable for ballads & lullabies yenno he kept going until hyuk had to intervene and tell him to stop he still kept going and it got crazy when ken started singing as well haha such cuties!! Anyway so next hakyeon chose for hongbin and omgosh I saw my sticky and was really hoping hakyeon would choose it but he didn’t OTL i wrote it for hongbin, asking if he could sing a ballad because precious bb has a lovely voice and deserves to sing more! In the end hakyeon chose one in which hongbin had to do aegyo and boy did he struggle! The first time he did it it was pretty quick but still adorable nonetheless because his voice went all high pitched eeee so hyuk actually made him do it a second time and it was slightly longer and his voice went from high back to his usual lowish voice cuz he got so embarrassed.. hongbin said something and the translator said hongbin was sad because starlights didn’t understand his true feelings TT I guess he really didn’t want to do aegyo :( hongbin chose for Ravi and my Rabin feels were reignited because hongbin took two stickies and allowed Ravi to choose one! Ravi chose to also do aegyo I think? And he ended up doing the “oppa song”??? some cute music played and Ravi had to do aegyo to it but it seems like he was prepared and did it without hesitating that even the members joked and commented that he was really good at it LOL our Ravi may be the badass rapper and has tats to prove it....but he is too cute when he wants to be :3

Somewhere in there Ravi had to do an eye battle with hakyeon and lol hakyeon was so pumped and ready, being so confident he was gonna win and had that smug look on his face while provoking ravi by playfully hitting him on the chest. In the end hakyeon did win (but I feel like thats because he purposely made Ravi blink HAHA). Ravi chose for hyuk and hyuk had to dance to chained up double speed! That of course was too easy so it got ramped up to triple speed and I think later to quadruple speed?? Triple/quadruple speed was hella fast and hyuk was moving so fast that by the end of it he was so exhausted and joked that he can never do a concert again! He looked a bit frazzled afterwards so ken was like are you ok??? Oh yeah and we somehow got ken to do triple/quadruple speed as well but he didn’t even try to go super fast because srsly it’s killer! Hyuk was still recovering so Leo asked if he could chose his own and hyuk let him. Leo chose to perform a bit of whisper with Ravi!!!!! It was just the chorus but they did a bit of the chore and leo sang without the music and Ravi rapped without the music as well *_* because leo cheated by basically making it into a joint mission with Ravi, hyuk later chose another sticky for leo LOL this required leo to write each of the members name with his belly button xD poor leo didn’t want to do it at all and kept saying its weird!! He struggled so much and actually did his signature collapse onto the floor dying from embarrassment HAHA he managed to complete it but he did so by moving his entire body across he stage like he sat right next to hyuk on the right side but by the end of it he was all the way to the left side standing right in front of Ravi haha ken and hyuk demonstrated that you don’t have to move ur entire body but just your upper body xD then they wrapped up that segment and performed some more songs! after the final song when they were bowing and exiting the stage, ken did not want to leave and kept waving and blowing kisses ahhh those bbkins <333 hongbin legit had to come out, and drag him off the stage LOL then hongbin popped back out and did a heart with his hands ahhhh

I also just wanted to note that jaehwan was just a ball of sunshine throughout the entire concert. He constantly waved enthusiastically and smiled his puppy smile. he was just so playful and when fans shouted I love you to him he would immediately say I love you too back and jokingly act like yeah the fans love me most XD jaehwan definitely climbed up my bias list after this and I’m just so glad I got to witness his playful humorous side in real life. it made me think back to vixx’s reality shows and how the members always mention that theyre thankful for ken because ken jokes around and does his best to lighten up the mood after a stressful day ;A; Hyuk also made such a big effort speaking English to us and although it was just short sentences, I was still extremely proud of him and thankful that he made that effort <3 hakyeon too said a lot of sweet things to us and his humble self kept thanking us when really we should be thanking him for gracing us with his presence!!!!! Leo kept his cool demeanour for the majority of the concert, It wasn’t until the very last few songs where they came out not in their usual stage outfits that I saw leo being extra smiley and literally jumping and spinning on stage XD he went right next to jaehwan and started jumping with him (KEO IS REAL OK) hakyeon also made sure to go left to right and say bye to the fans and wave! Same with jaehwan hehe hongbin was mainly on the opposite side of me and oh how I wish he was on my side more during the last few songs!

I noticed that jaehwan was the most popular here like so many people I met that day were jaehwan stans hehe Ravi was also really popular and hakyeon too! Whenever hongbin sang I screamed extra hard because I really want him to feel just as loved and appreciated and same goes for hyuk too because those two have so much to offer!

Photo Op

I was such a nervous wreck LOL my friends and I were all strategizing a plan, trying to make sure we’d end up in front of our biases. it was 15 people per group so when it was our group’s turn I legit blanked out and just tried to navigate towards hongbin. So the order was N, Hyuk, Hongbin, Ravi, Ken, and Leo. I stepped onto the stage and was immediately greeted by N’s smiling face and wave. I waved back automatically and seriously couldn’t do anything but wave Lol i was way too stunned by his 6 foot beauty and that small eye contact! *_* I ended up somewhat in front of hongbin but like on the floor and not on a seat but its okay! The photo op was super quick like they took 2 pics and that was only like 20 seconds! the staff rushed us and kept telling us to move move move -.- As we got up to leave I quickly turned back and looked at hongbin and told him I love you ahhhh he looked at me and smiled and waved and that was all I needed to turn into a big pile of mush ffghfghfghf *_* I think I was able to catch eye contact with jaehwan after and I tried to say bye to leo but failed LOL as I got off the stage I still couldn’t believe I was able to muster up the courage to say something to hongbin eeeep! Oh and vixx is known to be giants right so I was expecting them to tower over me because I’m only 5’4…but up close they weren’t as tall as I expected. yeah they were impressive in height but not what I imagined I guess xD But yeah the photo op went by so quickly and I’m praying to god I look somewhat descent in the pictures they took lol rip

Im so sad that the concerts over and you bet I’m going to suffer from PCD for the next few weeks T_T but I’m just so thankful to have been able to experience this and to finally see them live! all the while meeting some pretty awesome people along the way! It was definitely a memorable concert that I hope to remember many years from now :)

#vixx #personal #shangri-la vancouver #171029

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stairwaytomidnightfm · 5 years

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A Stairway To Midnight Radio-with I.M

DJ Yoo Han With I.M As The Special Guest

DJ: Good evening, Earthlings! How was your Thursday so far, in this not-so-hot night as the summer is coming to an end. For the next two hours to your Friday, I, DJ Yoo Han as usual will be your company and slowly send you to your slumber. For those who are still at work, or on their way home, stay safe and be careful~ Starting from now, the phone line and the comment section is now open! Leave your song request, or share any stories about your week. Let’s share those story, type them in while I play the first song for tonight. Also, before the song starts, I would like to say that we have a special guest, who is currently sitting right beside me. If you’re wondering who it is, stay tune to our midnight radio~

( NOW PLAYING ► WHO AM I by I.M )

DJ: Alright, that was a song from I.M with “Who Am I”, which is currently my favorite song to listen to at night. How was it? It helps you to relax even more, doesn’t it? Speaking of the song, based on what I mentioned earlier, we are having a special guest for tonight! Without further ado, please cheer for I.M !! (the loud cheer from the staffs heard in the background) Please introduce yourself to our audience~

I.M : Wow thank you. So much. Ah, hello, good evening, ( in english ) I am I.M ( back to korean ) and I’m a rapper-slash-producer from SELFMADE. Though I haven’t made an official debut yet, I’ve got a lot of other hobbies as well. I’m happy to be a guest today, please take care of me!

DJ: It’s so nice to finally meet you, I.M-ssi! All of the sudden, the room has turned brighter since we have a new face to be with us for the next two hours! The staffs are all smiling now! First of all, let’s talk about the song we played earlier on, ‘Who Am I’. What kind of story you can share to everyone here who’s listening the radio right now, when it comes to this song? To me, it speaks about finding our true self, giving our best to do what we want. Is there any inspiration or a backstory to why you wrote this song?

I.M: It’s my pleasure to be here! I hope everyone enjoyed my song, one of my earliest releases. The lyrics are personal to me and it’s special because it goes so far back. When I younger, I wanted to be a genius like my father. I tried to enroll into a science academy and studied well, but even when I forced it it didn’t feel right. So I left school and thought I wanted to travel. I ended up being passionate for music and art, I finally decided to become a rapper. I wanted to be refreshing and put my name down somewhere. ( laughs ) This song was written years after I changed my path but still, it was relevant as I wrote it. Starting with a new blank slate is okay but it is hard work to find your true self. I’m a confused kid sometimes but at least I have something I’m passionate in.

DJ: That’s interesting...I guess if you really have found your passion and worked hard for it, then anything is possible. Since you have been creating music for a while, what was the biggest obstacle you have experienced so far? I’m not asking this to cower our listeners, but to motivate them to pursue things just like you. Do you have any memorable events that helped shaping you for who you are now?

I.M: Yes..I’ve been working for a few years now, and even though I was still a teenager, I felt like I was late. Like I wasn’t experienced enough. But now I understand that a good drive will get your further than you may expect. Don’t ever stop, or give up. Hard work is the secret. There’s times where it’s not easy but the last thing I wanted was to quit. I just wanted to feel satisfied. When I was finally satisfied with something and shared it, I never got tired of it. Every time I hear that people I love also love something I’ve done, I don’t forget those moments. To be proud and have everything pay off, it’s worth everything.

DJ: We’ve jumped to a deep talk right away, haven’t we? (laughs softly) But I’m 100% agree that working hard and giving your best to the things you love will give you the best result as well. I think many of our listeners would feel they’re about to give up when the day is ending, but always keeping a positive mentality for tomorrow is also one way to go. And if we’re willing to change our perspective, then nothing is really impossible, isn’t it? Say, I.M-ssi, let’s talk about your music intensely now. What’s new from you? Are you going to release any new songs in near future?

I.M: Ah, no.. ( chuckles in response ) You’ve got to look forward, and find beauty in times that still feel dark. Keep an open mind, at least that’s what I learned. Oh. The last personal thing I released was a mixtape in February. But I do have plans for the future. Keep a close eye on other SELFMADE artists too, haha. But I would like to release a complete album sometime next year. But the dates are undecided. In the meantime I’ll still be hard at work so if anyone expects anything before the year ends, don’t worry. I don’t think there’s more I can say.

DJ: If you reveal everything here, there will be no more surprise for your fans, isn’t it? I see how it is~ I’m looking forward to what’s coming from you next, I.M-ssi! 2019 is just...3 months away from now? If you think about it, it won’t be long until you release it! Once it’s out, please come here again and we can let our loyal listeners listen to it to. And please ask SELFMADE’s artists to come to my radio show as well~ (laughs softly) and for the recent song you released this year, shall we give it a listen before we take a break? Please introduce the song to our listeners.

I.M: I can hardly believe 2018 is ending so soon.. I hope to come back next year too! And with a complete album I’ll have more to talk about. I’ll ask them to come but.. If anyone at the company is listening! Please join A Stairway to Midnight too! I think any of the other artists will enjoy it. They’ll be a lot more fun than I am. But yes, let’s move on. This is Fly With Me by I.M, enjoy it well listeners!

DJ: Alright, we’ll be right back after a short break.

( NOW PLAYING ► FLY WITH ME by I.M )

#live:broadcast

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trendingnewsb · 7 years

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Salma Hayek: Trump couldn’t build a wall without illegal Mexicans’

Her new film, Beatriz at Dinner, already has Oscar buzz. But on top of the acting, Salma Hayek is also saving animals, running charities and beating the hell out of a Trump piata. Johnny Davis meets Hollywoods busiest firebrand

It was after a neighbour shot her dog that Salma Hayek realised Donald Trump would become president.

I thought it was a crazy thing, that it would never happen but then something really tragic happened to me, she explains. I have a ranch in America and a neighbour of mine killed my dog. Hayek, who owns around 50 animals, including 20 chickens, five parrots, four alpacas, two fish, some cats and a hamster, says that Mozart, the tragic German Shepherd in question, had never attacked anyone. And the authorities in dealing with the neighbour, and what he did How is that legal? [Police have said the neighbour shot her dog after he found it fighting with his dogs in his garage.] Just to understand what was the normality of things. I realised in this moment, Oh my God: hes going to win.

Hayek, a Mexican immigrant to America who identifies as half-Spanish and half- Lebanese, lives in London and is married to a Frenchman who happens to be Franois-Henri Pinault, billionaire CEO of the company that owns Saint Laurent, Stella McCartney, Gucci is perhaps uniquely placed to have firm views on Trump, Brexit and immigration, and well get to them.

Hayek is primarily here this morning to talk about her new movie, The Hitmans Bodyguard. We are at a press junket for the film. Elsewhere on the first floor of this smart London hotel are Samuel L Jackson, Ryan Reynolds and Gary Oldman, answering questions. Junkets can be dispiriting, and rapport can be in short supply. That is, unless youre Salma Hayek, whose personality could light up a funeral. She arrives in a riot of black and red polka dots, tottering shoes and glossy hair, 5ft 2in and somehow 50 years old, although agelessly beautiful. She plonks herself into an armchair, hoists her legs up, and proceeds to tug the small table between us towards her. Do you mind? Theyre bringing me food. I like my food.

Hasnt she had breakfast?

I did but Im still hungry, she grins.

A round of avocado on toast is spirited into the room, accompanied by a mystery shake in a plastic container. (A second round soon follows.) Famous since she was a soap star in Mexico in her 20s and with 40-plus Hollywood films to her name, Hayek has done literally thousands of interviews. What does she make of the publicity circuit?

Im good! she says. I just pretend Im having a conversation with a new friend.

Other half: Hayek and her billionaire husband Franois-Henri Pinault. Photograph: Tony Barson Archive/WireImage

Indeed, Hayek proves impossible not to like. She may be the perfect chat-show guest: various presenters have hooted along as shes shown off pictures of her Donald Trump piata, discussed her experience as a late-developing teen immersing herself in holy water and praying to Jesus for breasts, or confessing she accused Monsieur Pinault of having an affair after discovering text messages from Elena, only to discover Elena was a language-teaching app.

In fact, we have Pinault to thank for Hayeks turn in The Hitmans Bodyguard. The comedy-action caper is basically a mismatched buddy movie for Jackson and Reynolds, hitman and bodyguard respectively. Hayek is only in a few scenes, but as Jacksons imprisoned criminal wife she matches him profanity for profanity.

I think Salma steals the whole movie, says director Patrick Hughes. I challenge anyone not to fall in love with her because (a) shes a polymath and (b) she kicks ass.

I have to tell you: action is not my favouritest [sic] genre of films, Hayek says. But I married a man who really likes them. So I became an expert. So I see them all!

The image of fashions most powerful CEO spending his downtime like this is intriguing. What is his favourite action movie?

Oh, its like Sophies choice for him, I think.

What about Die Hard, I suggest.

Oh, he loves Die Hard. But we love Bourne. She claps her hands. Sometimes he doesnt even like [a film], he says: Oh my God, that was so bad! But he still has to watch the whole thing.

Its a man thing, I say.

Yes! My brother likes that one, my father likes that one and because of that, when we were doing [The Hitmans Bodyguard] I was able to say it was going to work, because it had a lot of the stuff that the good ones have.

Mexican heroine: Hayek playing Frida Kahlo in Frida with Alfred Molina as Diego Rivera.

Similarly, do actors always know when theyre making a turkey?

Oh yeah! Hayek says, crunching through her toast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know. And unfortunately Ive never been wrong!

Her CV is mixed. The first Mexican actress to break into Hollywood since Dolores del Ro in the pre-sound 20s, shes played a lesbian taco in the kids film Sausage Party and so-so roles in films such as Spy Kids 3D and Wild, Wild West. But she also earned an Oscar nomination for Frida, her 2002 portrait of Frida Kahlo, and The Hollywood Reporter has just tipped her for 2018s awards season for Beatriz At Dinner, in which she plays an immigrant who clashes with a self-made billionaire.

At first, she says, she hated being famous. This was terrifying because in Mexico when you do a soap, at this point she leaps out of her chair and heads for the door Dont worry, Im not escaping Hello? Her security guard appears with a pack of American Spirit cigarettes. My soap was seen by 60% of the country, so its every day, in their house. Do you mind? Do you want one? she says, offering the smokes. So you become very familiar, like youre their cousin or something. Ive never been so famous since. I kind of hated it.

Taking aim: Hayek in The Hitmans Bodyguard. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

If she hated the attention so much, I wonder why she headed for Hollywood. But Hayek is battling with the curtains while she attempts to heave open a sash window so that she can smoke, unlit fag in her mouth. Not relishing the idea of Hayek tumbling on to the streets below, it seems only polite to help. For a few seconds she holds back the curtains, while I struggle to wrench the window.

Oh my God, that was so easy, she says. I really did want to be an actress, not just be famous. Its a different thing. Because I was famous on a soap! That doesnt make you a great actress. So I went to America to start all over again.

This was the 90s. She played extras and enrolled in the Stella Adler Academy Of Acting in LA, alma mater to Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro. And this is how old I am, she [Adler] was still alive! She was 90 and she was still teaching and flirting with the young boys. She was a tough cookie but she was brilliant.

Hayek could barely speak the language – My English sucked worse, there werent any parts. Mexican women played maids or gangsters wives. And thats if you got lucky.

Hayek threatened legal action against one director.

I was screen-testing for the lead in a film and they said that it was not written Latin, but they wouldnt mind changing it. I learned the script but when they sent me the pages [for the audition] there was none of the things I had learned, it was another role. So my agent called them and they said, Are you crazy? Shes Mexican. We can change [the race of] the bimbo, but not the lead.

Fashionista: at Stella McCartney, spring/summer 2016, Paris fashion week. Photograph: Bertrand Rindoff Petroff/Getty Images

She got her agent to call back. Would they please just give her five minutes to audition for the part shed learned?

And they said, Absolutely under no circumstances. So I said, OK, you tell them that they either see me, or Im going to sue them. And they said, Theres no point in her coming, even if she had been the best audition she would have never gotten the part but now we hate her. Does she want to come knowing that we detest her? They kept her waiting for five hours. They wondered why would she do this to herself.

Ive never said this to anyone, the name of the director, but it was Ivan Reitman. And I said, Well, I thought that the director that could see Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito as twins [1988s Twins], and Arnold Schwarzenegger giving birth to a child [1994s Junior] maybe could see a Mexican as a fashion editor. I thought I owed it to the new generation of Mexicans. That if I got this right, maybe something will shift.

Years later, she bumped into Reitman and he apologised. We had such a lovely conversation, he was so elegant, Hayek says. He said, I was wrong.

All of this pales next to the hill she climbed for Frida.

I was obsessed, Hayek says. I was endeavouring to do a film about an artist in a time when all the films about artists had failed. Already [the studios] were going, Oh no. Then Id say, Its a period piece about Mexicans! And theyre communists! Its a love story between an overweight man and a woman that limps and has a moustache!

Committed: Hayek campaigning for womens empowerment with Guccis Frida Giannini and Beyonc. Photograph: Ian Gavan/Getty

One studio did eventually take it on, Edward Norton (her partner at the time) rewrote the script for free and Hayek called in favours from co-stars including Ashley Judd, then one of Hollywoods most bankable faces. It opened in two cinemas. Its success, I suggest, must have been all the sweeter.

Yes, she says. Because [the studio] dismissed it. I didnt even have a poster!

It may not surprise you to learn that Hayek is a committed activist: her list of charitable endeavours is too long to go into here, but it includes her own foundation helping women and children in Mexico, and the feminist charity Chime For Change, founded with Beyonc. Its so massive I dont even know what to tell you. I dont just do awareness, I actually do strategy. Im on the board. It takes a lot, a lot, a lot of time.

Other projects receiving the full force of the Hayek commitment include her range of nutritional juices, and a beauty line which she created herself. She also has her own production company, which helped turn the TV show Ugly Betty based on a Colombian telenovela into a worldwide hit. I ask where this drive comes from.

Its been there since Ive been a child. A sense of justice and responsibility for the human race. How can we be better? Because a lot of people dont think that way. They think: How can I pay less tax? And so when I see things that make me think we are degrading and degenerating mentally it makes me want to do something.

She has been hugely successful. Shes married to one of the worlds richest men. (Their daughter, Valentina, attends school in London.) She could just put her feet up. Of course, its a cheap question we already know the answer.

Why would anybody want to sit around and do nothing?

Hayek says that she made it clear she would always remain financially independent from her husband, whose net worth is around $17.3bn. Which may explain money-job films like Sausage Party.

Mirror mirror: Hayek guest stars in Ugly Betty with America Ferrera. Photograph: Danny Feld/ABC

At the time I met him, I had already decided I didnt want one of those [ie a husband], she says. I had set myself up for a completely different life. I was ready to live on my ranch that is a sanctuary for abused animals. I would come to LA and work a little bit. I was not planning on spending. I had no interest in jewellery or clothes or cars. I had everything I wanted. Maybe I had a guy here or there. I also thought I couldnt have children. Then he [Pinault] came along, swept me off my feet, changed my entire universe and knocked me up.

Can she remember what they first liked about one another?

Yes. I asked him, if he had not been doing what he was doing, what would have been his dream? And he said an astronaut and that was my dream! Then we started talking about different theories of physics, which is my secret passion. And soccer! Im a huge soccer fan [she supports Arsenal]. Just random things that nobody knows I like. It was just magical.

As a global citizen at a time when the world seems to be closing in on itself, is Hayek optimistic for the future?

Very optimistic. I have to look for the positive about everything.

Hayek campaigned for Clinton. Hows it going to end for Trump?

I can promise you hes not going to build the wall. You cannot build it without the Mexicans that are illegally in the country. That is what makes the economy so strong because they are paid less than half, with no benefit. Its just not going to happen!

Hayek is banging her fist on the table.

His days are numbered! Even if he becomes a dictator and rewrites the constitution and now the presidents can stay 12 years! Still his days are numbered!

Salma Hayek: activist, actor, producer, juicer, businesswoman, friend to the animals and all-round proper laugh. You wouldnt mess.

The Hitmans Bodyguard is in cinemas on 17 August