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#also that the show ~technically~ ended like literally 14 years ago
imwritesometimes · 10 months
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it's like I get really enamored with the idea of this fic but then when I sit down and try to work on it in any way I realize how much work I'd actually have to put into it to see it to completion and I completely freak out and shut down
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insanityclause · 7 months
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Now that Loki season two has closed the TVA Handbook on Loki’s story, the question remains as to whether Tom Hiddleston has bid adieu to the MCU. It’s hard to imagine a better ending for the former God of Mischief, and since Loki‘s potential series finale aired last week, Hiddleston even referred to the episode as the “conclusion” of his 14-year journey with Loki. However, when pressed further on the subject this week, he then created a little bit of wiggle room for himself to return someday. 
For Loki executive producer Kevin R. Wright, Hiddleston’s finale performance felt like a goodbye of sorts.
“I think his approach to that performance certainly was [a send-off], and I think we all felt that on set,” Wright tells The Hollywood Reporter.
But similar to his lead actor, Wright is quick to issue his own caveats.
“We wanted this to feel like a proper ending for our show, but that does not mean that there won’t be more Loki or stories within this world,” Wright adds. “We just wanted to give this a proper ending in a way that we often don’t get to do in the MCU.”
Wright, who originated much of the series’ foundational elements through his own pitch years ago, says that he’s still making the case for more TVA stories in the MCU.
“I would love to keep telling TVA stories. Internally, people pitch everything, and I’m actively like, ‘I want to do more TVA!’” Wright shares. “It will just end up being about where it makes sense for them to come in, in the future, but we all look at that corner of the MCU and go, ‘God, we’re just scratching the surface.’”
Below, during a recent spoiler conversation with THR, Wright also addresses a couple Mobius fan theories and how he’s looking forward to developing future TV series in a more traditional fashion.
So, in the end, instead of killing Sylvie to save time itself, Loki makes the ultimate sacrifice for the good of everyone else, and in doing so, he tasks himself with literally holding the fabric of existence together. And to me, that’s both a tragic and triumphant end. Why was this the right note to end the series on?
I’m glad those are the two feelings, because that’s what we were going for. (Laughs.) I don’t know if I can answer that beyond what you just said; it’s just the right ending to the story. We always knew the show was going to end with Loki on a throne, even in season one, and it was never about where he was going. It was always about the feeling we wanted audiences to feel when he got there, and it was about building the story that led to that feeling. Ultimately, because I don’t want to get too into the weeds on the last ten minutes of the show, we all feel like the answers and the intentions are there on screen. 
But what I can say, generally, is that we are all really bored by the binary of hero-villain, good guy-bad guy, good choice-bad choice. In the real world, choices are really complicated. Real heroism often goes completely unrewarded. It often involves people who are making really tough decisions and will never benefit from the sacrifices that they’re having to make. And if you can build a superhero comic-book story that dives into the weeds of a more complicated heroism, then that was a challenge that was worth it to us to try. And Loki is the best character to do that with in many ways.
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Technically, did Loki become the God of Stories, or a personified version of Yggdrasil, the Norse Tree of Life?
Are those mutually exclusive? It all comes back to questions of free will. Is he writing stories, or is he allowing stories to continue to be told? Is he weaving them together? It’s an interpretation of what exactly he did there at the end, but I think both can potentially be true.
Of course, anything is possible within the comic book genre, but this finale feels like a send-off for Tom Hiddleston as this character. Do you think we’ve seen the last of Tom’s Loki for at least a long while?
I think his approach to that performance certainly was [a send-off], and I think we all felt that on set. We wanted this to feel like a proper ending for our show, but that does not mean that there won’t be more Loki or stories within this world. We just wanted to give this a proper ending in a way that we often don’t get to do in the MCU. But also, in Marvel comics and the history of comics, the end of a comic run doesn’t mean the end of that character or those stories. And if there’s another story to be told or further stories to be told with what we’re doing here — and it’s with the right filmmakers and the right writers and the right team — then we would love to continue to see Tom. I also said this in season one, but I honestly think Tom will play Loki until he’s Richard E. Grant’s Classic Loki. It’s about the right thing and when we’re doing it, and being really careful about how we build those stories. 
The TVA still has some unfinished business, as they have to track Kang variants. So will the TVA appear in the MCU again at some point?
I would love to keep telling TVA stories. Internally, people pitch everything, and I’m actively like, “I want to do more TVA!” It will just end up being about where it makes sense for them to come in, in the future, but we all look at that corner of the MCU and go, “God, we’re just scratching the surface.”
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360 sets. You begged and pleaded for them, and they were worth their weight in gold. Kasra Farahani also sounded optimistic that this approach might become more common on other MCU projects. So do you think you’ve successfully made your case to the crested blazers of the Marvel Studios Parliament? 
We’ll see. It comes down to the speed at which we make streaming shows, and that’s natural for TV. That’s not a Marvel speed. You’re shooting a lot in small schedules, and it’s benefited by having sets and not having to do a ton of VFX in every shot. It makes good practical sense, and there’s a reason why people did it for a hundred years of moviemaking. It’s about when it makes sense for our stories, certainly, but we’re also telling comic book stories, and sometimes, things have to be more fantastical than what you can build. So it’s about being smart and how you do it. I love it, and I know our team loves it. When we were shooting Loki, we had a number of filmmakers who visited set, and their reactions were like, “They let you build all this?” And it’s like, “Yeah! Wait, you’re not? You should be doing this, too.” (Laughs.)  So, long answer short, yeah, I think people have seen what we did and they see that it’s an option now, and will hopefully embrace it.
Fan theories can be both a blessing and a curse, as your friends on WandaVision know, but have you lost any sleep over not making the McDonald’s kid a young Mobius (Owen Wilson)?
No, but I love that theory. I also saw that maybe Mobius is an Odin variant, and that was really imaginative and cool, too. So it was never discussed and I never lost sleep over it, although I read all that stuff and I love it. Partially why Loki feels more densely layered than some other projects is we know that people are looking at it in that way and are digging into everything. So everybody on the team really embraces that and goes, “If it’s in frame, it has to hold up the scrutiny.” We’re either subliminally hiding things in there, or we’re putting things in there to misdirect so that we can better impact people with something more surprising. But I love that people engage with it that way, and I hope that they see that we are engaging back with them in how we build the show.
And what about a medium shot of Loki and Mobius on the tandem bicycle? Do you regret that you won’t see that meme for the rest of your life?
No, because I can go online and I can see it in all of the amazing fan art. It’s out there. We knew you just had to handle that with a very light touch, and the audience will fill in the blanks. And they beautifully have.
Marvel made a bunch of release date moves recently, and we’re not going to see much of you in 2024. Are you a bit relieved since Marvel Studios’ own temporal loom won’t be overloaded? 
What’s exciting to me — and this is something [head of streaming at Marvel] Brad Winderbaum has talked about — is what I personally will get to be making next. We’ll really be able to have the time to slowly build it, find the right team for it, find the right people to develop it, build a pilot and build things on a more traditional schedule. It’s a little bit like the sets. It’s good, it’s practical, it’s smart, and when things are done right with the right team, these projects can be really, really good. And I think Loki is really, really good. So, if we give the development and production cycle the right amount of attention and build a calendar in a way that allows us to really do this correctly, you will get to see more projects that are of this caliber. It’s just about giving the creatives the space and the resources to do things properly. So, ultimately, this is a really good thing. I know people want more, but I also know that if we take time with it, they will appreciate what they get.
Well, the ultimate compliment I can pay all of you is that I didn’t care much for Loki prior to this series, and not because he was a bad guy or anything like that. This show fulfilled the original promise of these Marvel Disney+ series by deepening this character in a way that the movies don’t have time for, and I have nothing but fondness for Loki now. So Loki should be the case study for how valuable Disney+ can be for Marvel.
One, thank you. Two, I agree. I know that our writers, Justin [Benson], Aaron [Moorhead], Kate [Herron] and everybody would also agree, and that was the most appealing part of this. You can slowly take your time and build a really fulfilling story. We have very little action this season. (Laughs.) There’s a lot of thrills and there’s a lot of big stuff, but it was about really taking our time to build a character story that can feel truly fulfilling. So I look forward to being able to do more stories this way.
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lalalaugenbrot · 5 months
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15 questions + 15 friends tagged by @nougatbit
1. Are you named after anyone?
i don't think so but as far as i can retrace my name it's greek, somehow ended up in russia and then was made popular outside of russia via doctor zhivago's lara/larissa... (still have to read that!)
2. When was the last time you cried?
I cried from an allergy i have to certain skin cremes last night at the cinema... apart from that i don't remember atm but certainly not long ago
3. Do you have kids?
nope
4. What sports do you play/ have you played?
i did swimming when i was like 14 (i still like swimming a lot but i'm not in a club or anything anymore)
5. Do you use sarcasm?
no :-)
6. What is the first thing you notice about people?
this has always been a weird question to me... their??? face?!?!! (*laughs nervously* wouldn't that always be the first thing to notice about someone???)
7. What's your eye color?
blue
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
a weird opposition. i don't really like horror movies and i prefer the ending a story needs and deserves, so some stories (e.g. a story on two traumatised young men who love and need each other more than anything or anyone else in the world in a mediocre prime time crime show) certainly deserve a happy end, other stories (e.g. a film that displays some severe social grievances) often should not have a happy ending because there isn't one to be expected in reality either... except for sometimes, for example, when it is about two queer men in 1913 Britain, finding and loving each other against all odds and all social norms, written by a gay man in the same era, then of course a happy ending can be imperative even :-)
9. Any talents?
people don't tire to tell me how ~creative i am... and that despite my apparent total lack of (visual, auditory, sensory) imagination 🙃 so there's that
other than that... i think i am good with words and i write since i literally can write and nothing brings me more joy than having written.. writing has been like the most important thing in my life for 26 years now even though it has always been something that happens more like 'in the background' of everything else
10. Where were you born?
in one of the (imo) most village-like "Großstädte" of Germany... if i told you where you'd probably know it because of one specific thing... i've been all the way to other continents and people knew it just because of that
11. What are your hobbies?
most hobbylike things are probably analogue photography, building stuff around the house (shelves etc.) and going to the cinema (or like film in general)
12. Do you have any pets?
no, but i had mice and i miss them... if i had more time and more space to have an adequate place to keep them i'd like to have mice or rats again...
13. How tall are you?
1,73
14. Favorite subject in school?
hm. not sports. i had a 'compulsory optional course' in physics/informatics and i always say it changed my life bc that's where i understood that i like and am good at technical and computer stuff... i also liked pedagogy (nrw superiority), the obligatory history course in 12th grade specifically and in the last years also maths... god do i miss solving math problems 😭😭
15. Dream job?
i wrote this in my friends journal when i was like 10 and it is still true but i think i am a bit past the point where this will ever happen but it's 'director ' (of films)... but that involves networking and other people and putting yourself out there... and uh... i just don't see that happening (i have directed but not in the slightest professionally), the other one of course has always been 'author' and i guess that could still happen... someday in the future maybe... you know, when I'm a grown-up
tagging: @diersten @tiny-steve @sinnsenke @mcfif @black-cat-aoife @silverysnake @free-piza @lachricola
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narwhalandchill · 9 months
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(HEAVILY suspect genshin 4.2 AQ weekly boss leaks, massive spoiler if its legit etc etc but take with a Colossal grain of salt, also general 4.0 & 4.1 spoilers jic, i am going moderately insane)
i would like to formally apologize in advance for the person im about to become if childes whale (or 'it' more likely than not) is genuinely going to be the 4.2 AQ weekly boss what the fuck. What the fuck
Listen. Listen. Listen.
ive been saying for YEARS that this fucker is a bigger deal than just he hee minor miniboss turned neutrally aligned friendly rival on the fatui harbinger gauntlet. ive been coping ive been starving seeing him get literally no relevance or new abyss lore for years as fanon butchered his character beyond recognition. but i knew. i knew they werent putting those lore breadcrumbs in there for nothing and like. im trying not to lose my mind just yet its still highly suspect claims but. itd make so much sense. itd explain everything.
the oratrice was not wrong. if the primordial anti-french bathwater is connected to the whale all along its no wonder it deemed childe guilty as the one with 'its' traces remaining on him all this time especially as the latent yet-untapped power resulting from that past encounter has clearly begun to surface. theyre registering as one and the same to the oratrice. and for the whale to end up as a weekly boss its Very clear theres an explicit link there.
and like? if the whales been behind fontaines rising sea levels and tied to the primordial water all this time lurking somewhere just underneath the nation of hydro im just. was childes instinct to come to fontaine specifically due to his worsening mood rly much coincidence at all or was 'it' beginning to call for him due to sensing that hed soon be ready to awaken his potential? his stories suggest quite clearly that this was what happened when ajax was 14 as well - the abyss called to him as did he to it, frustrated as he was with his ordinary life, seeking the potential he had within. ready to nurture his trouble-mongering nature into a true force of chaos and a nexus of strife. isnt this just the same thing all over again?
and the celestial star-cruising whale is his constellation. that kind of link isnt giving me a "chance encounter you happen to get latent powers from". and for skirk to explicitly state that awakening 'it' was a feat unheard of before ajax. that no one had ever done it before. theyre deeply intertwined if not outright the same entity on some cosmic level - just different incarnations somehow. shits getting Real and i fucking knew there was something up YEARS ago
anyway hooooly shit i am going to fucking lose it i really really hope its real. and like sure sure knowing its coming is technically a spoiler but also not really? bc now its just the how and why and when. is skirk going to finally show up? is childe going to summon 'it' either on accident or on purpose? would he utilize the imminent threat the whales presence poses to force both furina and neuvillette into emergency mode given how abyssal creatures are literally kryptonite for dragons and celestia-approved divine beings alike? is that why traveler ends up having to face it instead? bc those 2 would literally get irreversibly corroded by the abyss from one hit?
alternatively, will childe want to fight it? bc ppl dont talk about this for some reason but hes always had a voiceline about what we now know 100% was 'it' and bro genuinely wants to go back to the abyss full send just to throw hands with the whale to prove hes surpassed the past terror that gripped him upon their first encounter and that hes overtaken it with his own power. which with the new lore drops of their deep connection definitely isnt giving childe replacing and becoming the new incarnation of the abyssal star-whale at all nuh-uh. surely. (i want it so bad)
anyway. holy shit. heres hoping this doesnt just age like shit DUFYDUGHFGDJSHDK i really want an AQ final fight thats not just harbinger of the week for the 4th time in a row. theyre fun and all and like yeah arguably childes ties to it kinda make it a harbinger fight but also not? bc this is about his abyssal links nothing to do with being in the fatui. and its the whale anyway not him per say
anyway heres hoping we get that 3rd final boss fight to the death with him in the celestia arc for once and for all when hes finally reached his peak. first we fight him at his incomplete level in liyue. then his abyssal whale. then 3rd time him in his final form thank youuu
but like. still emphasizing. this is NOT reliable leaks or confirmed yet so hold your horses. very sussy whisperings from some ppl who do have somewhat of a truthful track record but nothing concrete. i just went insane enough with the very idea that my brain made me type this madness out regardless
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2dkapsddr · 5 months
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December 31st, 2023 - IIDX 31, DDR A3, Arcaea, PIU Phoenix, ProSeka
NOW IT'S THE REAL GRAND FINALE!!! And what better way to celebrate than getting permission to pay Round 1 a lil visit?? (Granted at the cost of paying breakfast at my workplace for my whole family during one of their busiest days, i still feel so bad...)
since i had just eaten a chocolate croissant and 1 (one) pancake, i started off slow and warmed up with my favorite game to play on a full stomach (not really): IIDX EPOLIIIIIIIIIIIIIISS (dan dan dada daan dan dada daan dan dada daan dan dan dan)
stiiiill doing the usual of practicing with RANDOM, but getting more comfortable with using hard gauge! only problem? i forgot premium time (and lost two credits to it)
meh, i'll do better next year (i think)
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now, this part was the biggest part and the greatest change of plans i've probably had. originally, since the cab was empty, i was gonna go play sdvx to continue warming up and since i didn't wanna throw up my breakfast still. but then i decided, "yea, i feel fine enough. to the ddr cabs! (also i have sumidagawa karenka stuck in my head please help)"
and what i found at the cabs as a result was... a new year's eve tourney i had no idea about!! hosted by the one and only hambones!!! and (almost) EVERYONE was there to game!!!! sign ups were still open, and a friend from there was Really pushing me to sign up, so i signed up and did a warm up set at first before moving on to the qualifiers!
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set A of the qualifiers consisted of Dancer in the flare ESP-13 (DDR A, banger), Like A Star ESP-14 (DDR A3, way harder than i thought it'd be), and Electronic Dance System Music (DDR A, i set my scroll speed too low). Once I did it, it was... very dissatisfying. I could've had better MA, but I struggled finding the timing window and had poor EX score overall.
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set B though? KILLED IT. it consisted of Going Hypersonic ESP-15 (DDR A20, very technical rhythms), Black Jackal ESP-15 (DDR A20, more of an MA challenge), and Firestorm CSP-16 (DDR A20, chart added in A20 PLUS, hope you like shocks!), and since I'm a huge fan of uppers charts, I had a blast putting on a show for everyone waiting to get the tourney on (since i was the last one to arrive and last one to finish my qualifiers). Got an AAA on Going Hypersonic and 2g on Black Jackal, and also a really neat upscore on Firestorm!!!
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when all was said and done and the tourney scores were tallied, i ended up 5th place overall; barely falling short of the top 4 that would play a new set of two 16s and a 17 that were all really fun... but i was pretty satisfied with my score regardless!!! while i waited for the tourney to end and the results to be announced, i remembered arcaea was having their new year's 100 memories promotions, i finally claimed it for the first since since i downloaded the app 5 years ago!!! ...only to find out that the memories expired 2 days after claiming them (literally Why)
as soon as i got them, though, i Instantly knew what i wanted to buy. that's right. OVERDRIVE!!!! played it three times while everyone else was playing: first attempt was a 69% gauge fail, second attempt was an almost-AA 9.49M, and third attempt was a sick 9.63M jump!!! def worth the impulse purchase
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anyways, back to the tournament: after everyone played the three songs, the scores were tallied once more and the victors were called up one by one to claim their prizes. after the top 4 were announced (ambones obvs being 1st), the Hambones Award for Rising Star of the Tournament was announced; pulling ahead by 1 singular vote, it was... ME!!!! 2DKAPS DDR RISING STAR!!!! i was so happy to receive it, and even happier (sorry) when i saw the prizes, which were INSANELY COOL!!! a MAX 300 badge, a Valkyrie Bloom sticker, and some sick shades!!! (and $6 too somehow LOL)
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as much as you'd wanna think this post is over now with everything i had written before, NOPE!!! the tournament may have ended already, but i STILL had time to play some extra sets before leaving!! (gotta make up for missing that banger tourney set)
also holy shit tumblr is lagging because of the sheer length of this post LMFAO so we gotta be QUICK!! ROLL IN THE BANGERS!!!
Roppongi A 996k GFC!!!
ELECTRONIC SPORTS COMPLEX ESP-17 GFC!!! (AAA Never)
Death by Glamour ESP-14 AAA!!!
MENTANPINDORADORA AAA!!!
HOU DSP-16 FIRST TRY CLEAR ON FLARE V!!! I SAVED THE BIRD!!!!!!!!
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decided that wasn't enough and wanted to close out the session with an extra set, which i Immensely regretted (i was in no shape and no fullness to play sadly)
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after all this, i went home to take my Last Shower of 2023:tm: and take it easy for the rest of the year over at my sister's house... but i still had my phone to play on and some proseka to wrap up the year with!!!
so, with all of that writing and all of this buildup, i finally present to you: my last two scores (one append score and my very last AP) of the year! a really wonky and kinda lame year overall, but there was def a lot i wanted to talk about and def a lot more i'll write in the soon-to-come year recap document (along with a 2024 goals post tomorrow!!!), but i'll end it off with these scores and come with more in the next year! thanks for everything in 2023, everyone!!!
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semi-imaginary-place · 10 months
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red mage: so basically arya should be a thaumaturge or black mage. she's really really good at the destructive magic and terrible at the restorative magics. why find equilibrium when you can min max and be a nuke.
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have you heard of ... blue? or perhaps... green?
I really like x'rhun, great character
given x'rhun's history in the ala mhigo im disappointed the 60-70 storyline isn't going there, ah well time to see what idyllshire has in store.
I was just thinking at the end of the level 60 quest if X'ruhn is in his 40s then lambert probably is too and arya looks to be a teenager, wouldn't it be be messed up is she was his daughter or something. the only reason i didn't quite believe it is because lambert said he's been in a magical coma for many years.
fake memories? artificial humans? many possibilities.
i think its pretty interesting that despite its reputation it is not black magic that is the successor to void magic, it is red magic. and this is despite both black and void magic originating from mhach.
irony that the swashbuckling aesthetic class ends up being the demon summoning dark magic storyline.
wait that coffin is why witchdrop is haunted??
hey i happen to know a certain kitty cat that is a mhach specialist. too bad the questlines can't be interdependent.
hmm even the red mage writers get conjury and white magic mixed up
sorry arya but the 50=60 stuff was far more interesting than the 60-70 stuff
dragoon! ... orn khai just ate like 300 times his body mass in flesh
ninja: ok so we got a bunch of hingashi pretending to be from doma to smuggle a scroll out of garlemarld? I'm just waiting for karasu to be involved somehow. wait wasn't the house of sticks dude murdered like at level 20? there's karasu!
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2nd? 3rd? time the game has said the doman rebellion was 1 year ago. the other time I remember off the top my head was right after doma castle when you talk to the blacksmith.
I feel so sorry for Akagi. we sent him on a goose chase to the literal opposite side of the planet.
Why is Karasu so focused on Oboro. he cares more about messing with him than literally anything else.
hey if zakuro is a mercenary we could buy out her contract.
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oh that's interesting. yomei and all the shinobi we have met implied that ninja are from yanxia. but hanzo is saying that its from hingashi. then again all the shinobi we talked to were domans talking about their specific ancestral villages.
I totally do not remember who master sasuke is. and i don't think karasu is dead (again). oh master sasuke is the founder of oboro's village
whm: castrum oriens is an odd name given how it means east but is situated in the WESTERN part of the garlean empire
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huh you can tell who is a padjal at birth. i remember reading in encyclopaedia eorzea or something that children only find out they're a padjal when the horn start growing in at like 10-15.
uh sylphie aren't you like 14. letting at 14 year old run the show and keep secrets from the conjurers guild while void sent are running around sounds like a recipe for disaster.
why not relocate both gatty and sanche to gridania. sanche would get better medical treatment, gatty would remain with her mother, there would be more conjurers on hand to deal with voidsent incidents, and there would be padjal on hand to tutor gatty.
the writers did this to keep sylphie's importance to the plot but this is a massive plot hole that e-sumi is having sylphie be gatty's teacher. first because as e-sumi himself said sylphie is still learning as an acolyte herself, she might have powerful instinctual magic but her learned knowledge isn't that good. second she wouldn't know white magic or padjal specific stuff. this is such a bad decision. also sylphie is still a kid has shown to be overwhelmed by the scale of this problem and having to take care of and be responsible for another kid. i guess the excuse is that it's technically the wol who's suppose to be doing the teaching but we all know that the player isn't going to be doing anything.
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uh she jsut summoned a voidsent you sure she doing need more training its been like a couple months at most
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the-punforgiven · 1 year
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It's me tag
was tagged by @catfacedvampire It's been ages since someone last tagged me in one of these lmao
- Are you named after anyone?
No, apparently my name was a fairly last-minute affair when I was born and my mother took one look at me and realized I'd make a terrible Wolfgang
2. - When was the last time you cried?
December 18th, 2022. I wouldn't remember were it not for Discord timestamps lmao I had accidentally double-dosed on my antidepressants and was weeping tears of love and joy over the fucking Claymore being in Elden Ring while I was mid-shift at work
Interesting day, that was
3. - Do you have kids?
No. Don't really plan to either, not on my budget, and given I was crying over a sword in a videogame barely a month ago I don't think I'm mentally fit for one either lmao
4. - Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Yeah
5. - What's the first thing you notice about people?
Usually either their hair or clothes tbh, I'm faceblind as shit lmao
6. - What's your eye colour?
Idk either brown or green, depending on the light
7. - Scary movies or happy endings?
Idk honestly I love the horror genre but my tastes are so insane, weird, and specific that I also don't love a huge chunk of the horror genre and would prefer like, literally anything else Also I'm just a sucker for characters being happy, so sue me I like that things can work out alright as long as the story preceding it isn't boring lmao
8. - Any special talents?
I'm surprisingly good at playing music on like, small things that play notes that it isn't super expected to actually play music on, like how I used to be able to play the tetris theme on my mother's old cell phone keypad when I was like 12, or how I can play Unwelcome by Arsis on the Warframe Shawzin now
I used to be able to play the intro to Through The Fire And The Flames on Big Band's trumpet in Skullgirls back when I played that, but it's been a while and I'm pretty certain all my muscle memory for that game's long gone lmao
9. - Where were you born?
That weird little dirt orb that sometimes shows up between Venus and Mars
10. What are your hobbies?
Art, making stupid little tunes in Beepbox.co, fighting my friends with swords (highly recommend), Whatever you call the Fromsoftware Souls Game Brainrot that possesses you and makes you do co-op forever, loving it deeply and never tiring of it @mutuals I am begging you to play Elden Ring with me PLEASE Making music with instruments and my voice outside of Beepbox.co (though admittedly I've been having more fun goofing off with Beepbox lately lmao)
11. Have you any pets?
BEHOLD
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12. What sports do you play/ have you played?
I don't play sports, but I have an interest in fencing, though idk how well I'd play with not only a light whippy sword (I'm a longsword kinda person at heart) as well as having a sword restricted to only one hand (again, I'm a longsword kinda person at heart)
13. How tall are you?
idk like 6'3 I think? (Don't let my sister lie to you, she keeps telling everyone I'm 6'4 and I can't make her stop)
14. Favourite subject in school?
I barely remember school at all tbh but the student councilor also ran a creative writing class that was rad as hell, though I don't remember more than like three things that happened in it over the two years I was taking it lmao I also remember liking art class, but I was so bad with rules I'm kinda surprised I passed lmao, I just doodled whatever the fuck every day and the teacher was just like "Yeah sure, this'll do" and passed me lmao
15. Dream job?
Tbh Daisuke Ishiwatari is already living my ideal career path and I haven't thought of anything else I really want to do yet
That's a lie I just like, really deeply want to be in a shitty metal band made up of friends that tours in a van who doesn't sound all that great but you can tell is just pouring their fucking hearts out up there and so you kinda forgive them because the performance is just so raw even if the technical skill isn't great and there may be some issues with the faulty electronics and at least one of them hasn't changed their strings in like four years but they sound good they love what they do and they're easy to headbang too so like, what more do you need, really?
Idk who to tag but like, if you wanna do this, feel free to do it and just like, say I tagged you in it, I won't tell
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Hey no hate, you realize that you’re literally in love with your own version of Kazuichi right? Literally no one in this entire world thinks of Kazuichi the same way as you.
Heeheehee, yes! Ngl my ego is having a feast with that last sentence.
You've unlocked an essay! Have fun reading lol.
Honestly though, I do think of my Kazuichi as an extension of the og Kazuichi, but like, in a different timeline. Not an entirely different personality, even if it seems like that because I draw fanart of her at different points in time without much of an explanation.
I've been thinking about that rule of fandoms post I reblogged earlier. I feel like I only barely scratched the surface of a thought with my tags, but I only had a few minutes left in my break at work. Also, wasn't sure how personal I wanted to get on someone else's post.
At what point does fan-written character development end and "an entirely new character, completely different from the original" begin? Even characters in canon, written differently in some way, can be considered "not canon" by fans. Take "modern-day" Simpsons for example; there was one segment from a "recent" episode (honestly, I don't remember how long ago I heard this statement, so "recent" could mean anywhere from the past 10 years) where Bart genuinely asks "what's the 90s?" This made a lot of people angry, because Bart Simpson was a staple of the 1990s that embodied the vibes of that era, so hearing him say this felt like a far cry from his old self. This Bart is technically "canon," but a lot of people would argue that this is Not Bart Simpson.
Another example is Steven Universe Future. I did not like that epilogue season. I liked the 12-to-14 year old Steven's optimism, and it felt like they strayed so far from his character to have this kindhearted, loving character become so selfish and bitter and, there's no way to explain it without spoilers but he commits an act so heinous that I honestly felt like they took his blind rage too far just for shock value and sacrificed the entire character for it. But, some things just don't reach everybody. What I saw as "That's Not Steven", some people were able to enjoy and get a cathartic story of someone healing from trauma (I wish I felt the same about that show). For me, it was painful to watch, and I only finished the season to end my anxiety about it, seeing him get worse and nothing get better at the end of each episode was bringing me to tears ("Then how can you play Danganronpa if you're so sensitive?" you might ask? I have different expectations and standards for an edgy murder game for teenagers than I would for a kids' cartoon. I'm less shocked when violent acts happen in Danganronpa or Family Guy than I was at Steven Universe Future). Anyway I would consider this version of Steven Universe's character "not canon," and I cringe when people bring up his character in Steven Universe Future as canon, despite that, yeah, it's canon. It's canon but I hate that it's canon.
Anyway, I have a point here, and it is that what is considered strict canon to some may be considered more loosely by others. And fandoms are where we should be free to explore ideas that the writers cant do, whether it's because it doesn't fit the themes, or it isn't "marketable," or it's because the canon writers wouldn't come up with it, or just simply because you wanted to see it and no one can stop you. I understand some people have ideas about characters you'd want to keep the same, I do too! I hate when people reduce Kazuichi to just "fuckboy who flirts with Sonia and parties all the time and is really dumb" (tell me you fell for Kazuichi's act without telling me you fell for Kazuichi's act) or "sad pathetic meow meow" (like, aside from the "blorbo" language, this feels like one part of Kazuichi that gets misunderstood as the entirety of Kazuichi. Kazuichi can be pretty badass.)
Fandoms have been getting more picky and hostile lately (I'm realizing I have too, so I'm working on that), and I think we could all benefit from letting go of some of our stricter ideas about "sticking to canon" and being more easy-going about people writing a character differently than you would, especially because it's fanon. Because we're doing this on our own volition and not for a paycheck. Because kids writing for the first time shouldn't feel like quitting if they can't make the characters "on-model" or "in-character."
Also, Danganronpa at times is kind of poorly written and sexist, so why should I have to stress over adhering to the standards set by those writers and then carried on by teens in the fandom (who might be looking at it uncritically, not that I blame them they're still learning) when I can set some standards of my own?
The "canon" version of Kazuichi, according to the spinoff games I never played, is that she's forever doomed by the narrative to spend at least three years after graduation still pining over the same damn character who has repeatedly shown no interest. Also, doomed to keep the same appearance that she canonically doesn't like (and everyone else also looks exactly the same as their child selves). Like, this is the same character who changed her appearance in middle school because she was sick of being taken advantage of by people who didn't give a rats ass about her. There were other reasons too, but I feel like nobody talks about this one in particular: she wanted to change, so she did. So why does she need to keep the same appearance after that, when she's older and the stakes are lower and she's gone through so much and gotten some development in the second game's end? The meta reasons are so that Spike Chunsoft doesn't have to pay someone to update the sprite model, because Kazuichi is recognizable (marketable) in her canon look, and because it's easier to leave everything the same.
Personally, I wouldn't mind if Kazuichi wanted to keep the same appearance, that's what attracted me to her in the first place. But she herself isn't happy with it (evidence: the last FTE). I just filled in some blanks in the story in my own way, because there's a lot of ways to interpret her character and they don't have to fit in with whatever canon says is the way. I don't 100% trust Hajime's word, Chunsoft's word, or what other fans have to say. I'll listen to it, though, but yeah I am going with my own interpretation.
Don't worry, when I say "Kazuichi is a girl because I said so" I do mean my Kazuichi (and whoever else wants to make Kazuichi a girl, which, go for it!). I don't mean "I'll fight you on it if you think differently." My ideas for Kaz are just one possibility for her, there's tons of others and they're valid whether I personally care for them or not. I don't mind boy Kazuichi at all! I just...I love girls...so she is a girl. In my heart. On another level, I was tired of boy characters getting the cooler designs that don't have a boob focus, so when I saw her I was like "that one has to be a girl! I'm claiming her right now. And probably also a lesbian, just because!" And then I ended up adoring her, because she's so adhd/autistic and I relate a lot to her struggles in socializing and making friends. I hate when people say she's "not emotionally mature enough for friendships/relationships" (that's such a mean statement! I've heard it before about myself. It hurts to hear. ;-; It sounds very victim-blamey.) Yeah, her social problems from autism/adhd definitely play a large role in her problems in making and keeping friends, but another large reason she struggles is because other people don't get her, and that's not her fault. She tries, she tries way harder than I did when I was a teenager to make everyone like her, and it doesn't work, because other people can be shallow assholes who see a "weird kid" and just don't care. I'm not saying that's everybody who doesn't want to be friends with her, Kazuichi can also be mean and push people away and also can be bad at reading the room, but her struggle to make friends is not all everyone else's fault just like it's not all her fault. Some people just have too much neurodivergent swag or uncanny valley for others to get us. So we need to find each other.
Anyway, wow I guess I really needed to talk. It frustrates me that so much of my story is only in my head right now. I want to actually show the progression of Kazuichi's character (so that her character progression looks less like "I just pulled this out of my ass" and more like "I swear guys, I'm actually going somewhere with this! It'll make sense later!") and my s/i's character progression too (in the fanfic we grow alongside each other and because of each other), but it takes time to write a story when I'm also learning the work-life balance. This was my first year having a "real job" and of living alone, I basically get home after the 8 hours of busywork and then get to drawing Kazuichi and watching cartoons and playing video games. Trying to be really patient with myself.
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judyhopps934-mt-zd · 3 years
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Thoughts on Miraculous Shanghai: The Legend of Lady Dragon
Warning: Spoilers! Other than that, have fun!
Also, if you want to watch the full English Dub, click here!
I love how we saw Fei's backstory as to how she became guardian of the Prodigious and how it was actually stolen because there are people who want money from her adoptive father's studio. It was also sad to see that the values her father implemented into her fade due to the circumstances they found themselves in. I speak for all of us to say that this girl needs a hug.
The intro as always is beautiful! Since it was not the first thing we saw, I was confused when looking through the episodes on YT.
I always enjoy Marinette's monologues, and this one was over how she looked forward to her holiday (it was like a vacation type thing). And how she looked forward to spend time with Adrien since his father was going to let him out. It was all perfect...
...until she went to deliver Uncle Wang's package and found out Adrien left for Shanghai at the last minute. But all is good though because she could go to Shanghai, deliver the gift personally, and see Adrien.
It hurts me to see that the writers made Marinette's purpose to go to Shanghai is to see Adrien when she can do that in Paris! It frustrates me that her character development goes back to square one, even as the protagonist of the show. People might point out this was before season 3, but I have a few points that say otherwise or that the writers are mixing things up. But first, the plot points and thoughts of everything else.
Also, I get that Marinette is 14/15/16 at the time of this episode, but how likely is it to send your child on their own halfway across the world??? On SHORT NOTICE??? I swear Sabine and Tom are too chill with this, but then again, there would be no story.
Also, I love how Ladybug and Chat Noir took the opportunity of their patrols without akumas to bond more. The Ladynoir in this episode I stan!
Gabriel you piece of trash! If you did not plan to spend time with your son, why take him to Shanghai when he was hoping to spend time with you?! And do not say "for business purposes" because even though Adrien is a face in the brand, at least don't give him false hope and that bs!
Nooro, thank you for trying to talk Gabriel out of it, but he is literally a wall (talking to Gabriel=talking to a wall)
I will say, the waiting for 15 years thing is very concerning.
Uncle Wang has been looking forward to see Marinette in person in Shanghai to learn more about her roots. He is ecstatic and its just heartwarming and heartbreaking when you think that part of Marinette's stay will be related to Adrien.
At least we see one thing that makes Marinette's stay not all about Adrien though: she is genuinely interested in her origins! Like when she asks about her family's traditional songs and about her mom, even learning her real name!
Speaking of which, Sabine's name is Xia Ping and only called herself Sabine when she started living in France. Also, I love her photo!
Bastille the bird that was around since forever is an icon!
Also, I can't believe Uncle Wang has not taken a break since Sabine moved to France, like what the hell??? Give this guy a break for goodness sake.
Thank you Gabriel for having one brain cell and allowing your son to leave the hotel! We still hate you for everything else though.
Its cool that Kwamis speak all of the languages. It is also the most logical thing because their wielder could be from anywhere. My question is are they taught the languages, does it form when a concept forms in the universe and they start existing, or like everything else is it magic?
Gorilla is iconic for two reasons: he is still a self care king, and he was willing to give Adrien some space to get action figures.
And now as I wrote that, this is where I am getting confused and start to believe this is post season 3: 1) Gorilla seems less anxious about being in a new place (unlike NY where he stayed in the hotel room the entire time), and 2) His obsession for action figures was shown in Party Crasher (season 3), which makes me wonder if the explanation is during season 3 or this episode hints at season 3. For the first point, it could be because Gabriel was not in NY to his knowledge.
Fei appears again and explains how she views the world and how she also uses that to help and take advantage of others.
She almost steals Adrien's phone and miraculous until Gorilla steps in. It hurts me because she is a good person but had to resort to stealing for a reason that we will explore soon.
Plagg, we always say your stomach causes trouble, but this time, you brought Adrien to Marinette's uncle...
...but also that ironically separated them as Marinette found them just as they climbed into the taxi.
This is also where Fei (wearing a disguise) crosses paths with Marinette and steals her purse. Then she went for the kwagatama and miraculous.
Things get worse for Fei as these boys that took a photo with Adrien earlier started chasing her. Then Marinette started going after them.
That is when she realized she was robbed and understandably, she was more horrified of losing her Miraculous.
Adrien shows up to Uncle Wang's home/restaurant. So many iconic moments happen.
1) Bastille says something about love between Marinette and Adrien. And Adrien responds with the line that makes us want to jump into the TV and talk some sense into him.
2) You say that "she's JuST a fRIenD" yet you stay over with her mom's uncle so you can surprise her lol. Adrien, you kill me and every other Adrienette fan with this contradicting statements.
Speaking of Marinette, she gets lost and has trouble communicating with others because she does not speak Chinese. And at some point says that she regrets not taking lessons?! Uh, what does this imply, that she refused lessons or that she did not have the opportunity for lessons??????? I NEED ANSWERS!
Can we say once again how talented and artistic Marinette is? Bad time? Moving on!
Uncle Wang is unaware of Marinette's tardiness, and Adrien just jokes about it. Considering that she is technically missing (reality is that she's lost), I don't think its time to joke about it.
The lady that gave Marinette some earrings that look like the Miraculous is so nice and bless her soul
The person from the pawn shop is the bad guy that we see at the very end of the NY special! And he knows about what happened to Fei's father! I am grateful that he sees no value in Marinette's stuff so he won't sell it for a lot, but I hate how he's greedy for money and was willing to exploit Fei's hunger for answers and Marinette needing her miraculous for personal gains.
Meanwhile, the boys from the photo with Adrien that chased Fei were trying to get Marinette's attention (they found her kwagatama when Fei dropped it running away and fighting them), but she thought they were gonna attack her. And then she bumps into Fei, who helps her escape.
Marinette finds comfort in Fei for being willing to "help" her (remember that she was gonna bring her to the pawn shop). She also finds Fei as a helpful, kind person who is brave: something that Fei does not see in herself, but does not have the heart to tell Marinette the truth.
Meanwhile, Chat has transformed to find Marinette and its the most endearing thing I've seen! Adrien, you blind oblivious fool! You care about her more than you think!
They arrive in the pawn shop, Tikki escaped the claw machine, and Marinette finds the earrings...for 100000 Yuan.
Fei, understanding what its like to have something entrusted to you be stolen, gets in a spat with the pawn shop owner in Chinese, accusing the owner for greed and accusing Fei for theft, while Marinette just stands her.
Also, when did Marinette become naive???????? I get that she's in another country and they are speaking in a different language that she does not understand, but based on the tone of their voices and shouting, I feel like she should have sensed something was off.
Fei swaps the earrings the lady gave Marinette and took the miraculous back. To the lady, this is why your soul is blessed. So bless your soul!!!
Apparently, Marinette realized what happened and said that Fei stole her earrings and feels bad for the man. Girl, you do not have to feel guilty for the man! He was about to destroy them before he thought about sentimental value! Also, he did not pay Fei anything for them! (Felt that this should be brought up because even though Fei was wrong in stealing her stuff, she was also robbed from potential cash and answers, therefore the man was owed nothing.)
The boys from Adrien's photo are actually vigilantes of Shanghai (and will be referred as such from now on), wanting to bring Fei to justice for stealing, which catches Marinette's attention, but not enough to ask any questions.
Also Marinette is not wanted as a criminal. She is missing as Uncle Wang called the police.
Fei still lives in the school, which has been in ruins. Despite not having much, she still offers Marinette a cup of what I believe is water (or tea?). See peoples, Fei is a good person at heart (if y'all aren't aware of it by now)
Gabriel saw and recognized Marinette. This is horrifying and if it is prior to season 3, we see why he tries so hard to target her. Or reasons why he targets her in season 4 along with everything else we know from "Truth".
Fei should have been given the chance to explain why she stole Marinette's things, but the pawn shop owner was like "you know, I might as well expose Fei myself"...
...and it really broke Marinette, who heavily trusted her. But she can't dwell on it for long...
...because AKUMA COMES FOR THE PAWN SHOP OWNER! AND HIS FAN SHOOTS KNIVES! AND HAS GREEDY MOTIVES! AND HELPED HAWKMOTH GET INTI THE CAVE WITH THE PRODIGIOUS!!!
Also, Nathalie was involved in obtaining the bracelet years ago. Again, the 15 years thing is concerning.
Marinette flees to transform, but not without telling Fei how she broke her trust and how she feels that Feinwas not genuinely helping her. It hurt me so much!
Ladybug transforms, hears Chat's voice-mail (to which she is swooned by the fact her kitty cares for her civilian self), and calls him. The best Ladynoir scene so far!
So the prodigious is like a jewel with powers, there is only one prodigious from what we see, and that one prodigious has multiple renlings that only the wielder can see. Oh, and the bracelet is like a key. Cool.
I don't like how Fei's Lady Dragon outfit looks whitewashed, but at least her hair is red instead of blonde (which still does not make this okay)
Epic Showdown between the akuma, Hawkmoth, Ladybug, and Lady Dragon. Hawkmoth corners Ladybug and Lady Dragon gets caught in some rocks.. All hope seemed lost...
...until Chat shows up and frees the akuma with the help of a basketball.
We learn something new folks: the same butterfly can create a different akuma. This is very frightening because...
The statue that determines who is worthy of the prodigious gets akumatized! The horror!
Also, if the statue says Fei cannot become the dragon because her intention to seek vengeance for her father is not noble and worthy, then what makes Hawkmoth think he will be successful in becoming the dragon??? Because it seems that his intentions are not pure or noble. Just saying.
Hawkmoth notices the akumatized statue heading to the city and all of a sudden remembers about Adrien. Confronting the statue, he gets turned into ashes(?).
CHAT, HAWKMOTH IN ASHES WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR THE BETTER IF THE STATUE DID NOT DESTROY SHANGHAI AND YOU WOULD NOT THINK AS SUCH IF YOU KNEW HE WAS YOUR FATHER! But I am not mad at you, just wanted to point out your irony.
ML WRITERS, WHY DO YOU KEEP KILLING OFF CHAT????? LADYBUG DOES NOT NEED ANY MORE TRAUMA AND THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY!!!! I AM SCREAMING INSIDE!!!!!
Fei is understandably upset and blames herself for what happen. I want to hug her so badly.
Marinette reassures Fei and forgives her, even though Fei felt that she could not be forgiven.
The structure they were standing on collapses and it was Fei as the Dragon who saved her, not Chat. Honestly, I love how it turned out as it strengthens their friendship, but I still prefer a Marichat alternative. WHERE IS THE MARICHAT PEOPLES???
Final showdown!
Poor statue guard was upset about the damage they caused as an akuma, but Miraculous Ladybiug fixes everything.
Fei learned an important lesson: let justice take its course, not enact revenge. But it was quite funny to have the pawn shop owner be flown away to court in a literal sense.
The bracelet has a renling-like creature, who is just so adorable, especially since they missed Fei and was waiting for the day they would be reunited. Aww!
Ladynoir version of the Moon scene from NYC! Except no dancing, just them challenging each other over who will get to Paris first if they traveled in opposite directions. No one shall ever know we were in Shanghai as civilians lol (Reminds me of my best friend when eating grapes during choral rehearsals)
Marinette, Adrien, Fei, and Uncle Wang enjoying a birthday (?) dinner was wholesome.
I love how Uncle Wang calls them boyfriend and girlfriend because of how they act around each other, yet Marinette and Adrien both deny it. Bruh, these children need to open their fricking eyes! I really wanted to jump through my phone screen!
The Shanghai Vigilantes came to return Marinette's kwagatama necklace. They are so precious even though we thought they were enemies in the trailer.
Even though they were at odds at first, love how the Vigilantes blushed when Fei played the accordion and she's just like "whatever". I stan an asexual queen.
Do I even want to know what Marinette accidentally said when she mispronounced "sister" in Chinese? Based on what Fei said, probably not.
Uh...NOW I WANT TO SEE MORE OF ADRIEN TEACHING MARINETTE CHINESE! While I do take some issue of Adrien (a white French boy) teaching Marinette her culture like most of us had issue with in "Kung Food", I also want to see them interact outside of school and hopefully bond. ML writers need to keep their word otherwise Adrienette stans will riot!
Love how the final scene turned out! Its just *chef's kisses*
Also, the hell with the business trip?? It was mentioned once again IN THE ENDCARD! It might not be as interesting, but I want to think that there was more truth to it.
Also, wifi troubles kept interrupting the show at crucial moments, but okay.
Overall, I live for the Shanghai episode! The animation is just as incredible as the NY special (which I also live for) and I love how this episode has a great focus on Fei and the prodigious. I mean, before the intro, she tells her story. And she has her monologues alongside Marinette's. In many ways, it's refreshing. Also, Ladynoir and Adrienette stans will be satiated with the scenes associated with each ship. Also, I love Fei's character development! And the final scene is wholesome!
I won't lie though: there are a few issues regarding whitewashing Fei's transformation and such. It is important to see these things and as a good friend of mine always says: you can enjoy something while also being critical of it. And that is very important no matter how devotive to something you actually are.
Anyways, we are being well fed with all the Miraculous content and I will see you all very soon! Also, get some sleep peoples! I know some of you aren't sleeping!
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Raise the Stakes, part 14
Aaaaaaannnnnnd we're done! I literally decided on this ending today and I'm posting it before I start to get THE DOUBTS. I hope you enjoy it and thank you so, so, so much to everyone who's liked/ commented/ messaged along the way.
There's mention in here of an interview that did actually happen a couple of days ago and what's included is pretty much what I've read online. That said, I've embellished some for the purpose of the story, so I'm not claiming to know anything.
Previous sections are on the Master List.
Pairing: David Finlay x OFC x Jay White
Word count: 2,767
Content advisory: other than the usual language, nothing really. Should I be cautioning people about angstiness? Because there's angst.
Thought you should see this.
The toneless message with its link is ruining your day. You can’t stop looking at it, but you don’t want to open the link again because you don’t want David to see it. Not that you have any reason to feel guilty. If anything, he’s the one who has some explaining to do but he also has the biggest match of his life tonight, the one where he can finally put the years of tension and rivalry with Jay behind him. You want to be supportive but you also want some answers.
It can wait, you tell yourself for the hundredth time. You’ll talk about it tomorrow. Or next week. All the time in the world. At least, that’s what you hope.
The whole day, the two of you are together but you have to keep a little bit of distance. Don’t want to get distracted and he has to conserve all the energy he can. Doesn’t stop you from touching each other, of course, but even when you do, it feels like you’re still at a distance. He’s trying not to think about anything except tonight. Or maybe it just looks that way. Maybe he’s thinking about his future beyond tonight, when he moves on. It would be nice to know if he wanted you to move on with him but he’s not letting you in on his plans. Hell, if it were up to him, you wouldn’t even know that there were plans.
You’d expected Jay to have some sort of mocking comments. How come the boyfriend you’re so in love with is giving interviews talking about signing with another company, moving to another state, changing everything about his life, and you don’t know anything about it? How Jay had looked at that interview and immediately known that you weren’t aware of it is beyond you. It’s unnerving sometimes, his ability to figure things out when it comes to you. You suppose it’s one of the reasons he’s always been able to get under your skin and make you do what he wants.
But aside from the initial message, he doesn’t say anything. You think that maybe it was a ploy to see if you’d confront David and start a fight before their match, because that’s exactly the kind of ugly trick Jay loves. When you arrive at the venue, though, you see him getting out of a car at the same time. He doesn’t look scornful, doesn’t shout something insulting, doesn’t strut like a damn peacock in mating season, nothing that you would normally expect from him. He looks straight at you and doesn’t smirk or sneer. On anyone other than Jay White, the look might be interpreted as concern.
Technically, you’re supposed to be there for all the performers but at this point, there’s very little left for you to do. It’s all on them now and if everything turns out to be a garbage fire, it won’t be because of any failings on your part. So you do your rounds to make sure everyone has what they need, knows their cues, gets any questions answered. But you always circle back to where David is and stay for as long as you can before your nerves get the better of you.
And then there’s the one person you should check on, but don’t. You aren’t completely derelict. You check with the people he has around him, you even lower yourself to telling Chris Bey that he can text you if his majesty needs anything. Strangely, you don’t hear anything. You text Jay once to say that you’re available to help. You keep it professional and don’t mention anything about the link he sent earlier, so you’re expecting him to needle you about it, or at least act like you’re useless because you aren’t spending your entire day catering to him. Nothing. You’re almost tempted to go check to make sure he’s not sick because one thing Jay White has never been is one to stay quiet when something is bothering him. Maybe he feels sorry for you, in which case you’d rather he yelled.
You enjoy as much of the show as you can but you spend the last minutes before his match with David, largely quiet, just holding each other’s hands. You walk as far as you can with him and, as his music hits, squeeze his hand extra tight. He turns and gives you a soft, quick kiss before leaning back and doing it again, deeper.
“I love you,” he says, cupping your face in his hand.
“I love you too.”
He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself of something. You sound like you’re calling after a train that’s already left the station.
Against your better judgment, you stay where you are. Jay arrives, already acting his part, hands tapping idly on the belt that, in theory, is the reason they’re fighting. You stare at him waiting for him to acknowledge you but there’s nothing. His music swells and he heads out like you’re not even there.
“Just like old times,” you mutter to yourself.
And still.
You watch from backstage as Jay holds his belt up, grinning and preening like he never had a moment’s doubt. You know him well enough to know that’s not true. He keeps cutting looks back at David as if he’s expecting to have to defend himself again, as if he doesn’t believe that he’s truly vanquished him.
The audience doesn’t share his insecurity, cheering him on like he was the hero and David the villain. He’s obnoxious and self-centred but they love him anyway. It makes you feel a little less stupid for the years you’d spent doing the same.
A couple of assistants help David backstage, holding ice to his neck and making sure he doesn’t collapse on the way to the locker room. He looks angry, sullen, and bitter, but not injured, which is a relief. You turn away from the scene in the ring and follow him back to his dressing room, taking over from the dojo students on ice duty when you get there. You don’t speak. You figure it’s better to let him decide when he’s ready.
You’d love to, of course, because despite the fact that you don’t want to make his night worse, it’s becoming unbearable to keep everything inside.
“Where does it hurt?” you ask quietly, picking up a new cold pack.
“Everywhere,” he mumbles.
You hold the ice against his lower back, remembering the awful hit he’d taken on the ring apron.
“You looked great out there.”
“Didn’t feel so great.” He gives you a little smile. “Onward and upward, right?”
“Or southward?” You don’t even mean to say it out loud because this is absolutely not the time to bring it up and certainly not in this passive aggressive way.
“Southward?” He raises his eyebrows like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about but you can see immediately that he does.
“Nothing, it’s ok.”
He sighs. “What’s southward?”
“Do you need another ice pack?”
“Uh oh, sounds like someone’s been reading the dirt sheets.”
“Just making a joke.” You wish you hadn’t brought this up because now you have to try to cram it back into its hiding space in your brain. And you have to suppress the fact that you’re actually kind of angry.
He watches you, trying to gage your state of mind. “Shouldn’t listen to idle gossip.”
That hits like a slap across the face.
“It’s not gossip, David. You did an interview with Wrestling Observer. If people are speculating or have questions, it’s because of what you said yourself.”
“It’s just talking. I didn’t confirm anything.”
He seems a little proud of this, like he’s very clever for getting people talking about what they don’t know. He doesn’t seem to have an issue with the fact that you’re one of those people.
“It’s all there, though,” you murmur. “Talking about how much you want to work in the States, that you want to try somewhere new, that you’re moving to Florida. You’re going to NXT, right?”
He shrugs and avoids your eyes.
“Were you ever going to tell me about any of this or did you figure I’d be able to piece together where you’d gone from news clippings and Reddit posts?”
“Of course I was going to talk to you. Nothing’s final yet.”
“So you were waiting until you bought a house in Florida and signed a contract with another company? Then what? You’d wake me up one morning and just say ‘bye babe, I’ll be living in another state from now on?’”
“The opportunity came up. This,” he gestures to the two of you, “is still really new. I didn’t want to introduce all these complications.”
“David, I’m not some girl you picked up in a bar. We’ve known each other for years. You’ve talked to me before about your contract renewals. Seems like you could have told me something.”
“I was going to tell you something. When I had a better idea of what I wanted to do.”
“You told a journalist, a ‘dirt sheet’ in your own words, that you’re in the process of moving to Florida. That seems like you have a pretty clear idea.”
“Ok, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to find out. You don’t even read that stuff normally.”
“You’re aware people are talking about this on social media, right?”
He grunts but doesn’t say anything more. It’s infuriating. He looks resentful that he has to explain himself, like he didn’t think this was going to be an issue for you. Finally, he meets your eyes, guilt very clearly evident now.
“I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. I’m an idiot, I could have figured out that you’d see something, or that someone would tell you.”
“It is my job to know stuff like this, all other considerations aside.”
“Believe me, I did not want you getting this from some random dweeb on Twitter.”
“I wish it had been a random dweeb on Twitter.”
He looks surprised and then it’s like part of him collapses when he realizes what you mean.
“Got up this morning to a one line text and a link to the article from our old pal. You know, making sure I’m not out of the loop.”
“Asshole.”
“In this case no. Somehow, you managed to cede the high moral ground to a man whose morals are generally nonexistent.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Well, this is hardly the ideal moment to have this conversation, but I want to know if and how you see me fitting into this new life you’re going to have.”
He shrugs a little. “How do you want to fit in?”
The realization hits you hard. “You don’t think this is going to last, do you? You didn’t think I was serious.”
“Wanting is a lot easier than having.”
“Maybe for you.”
“No, that’s not what I meant, it’s just that I… You’re right. I didn’t think I needed to consider you. It wasn’t part of my decision-making process.”
“You’ve been setting this up for weeks. All this has come together at the same time you’ve been with me almost every day. If I wasn’t part of your process, that was the decision right there.”
The two of you stare each other down but there seems to be nothing left to say.
Eventually, you rise to your feet and stammer, “I’m just going to… I need to take a walk or something.”
You wander around the place, watching the crew rushing to pack up. Eventually, you find yourself outside, where the ring still stands, bathed in the glow of the safety lights. It seems forlorn in front of the empty seats but there is still a kind of magic about it. That’s what draws people to this business, you suppose, the feeling of magic.
Since no one else is around, you climb up and through the ropes, kicking off your shoes. You’ve been in one before, but always just to set it up or break it down. You’ve never had an in-ring moment. And there’s a reason for that, which is that you can barely wrestle your way out of your winter coat. But as long as you’re here and you need to do something to take your mind off the sensation that your chest is about to rip.
You run, or jog, from one side to the other, bouncing off the ropes as you do, the way you’ve watched dozens of men doing for years. Although you know the “ropes” are actually steel cables with a plastic coating and you’ve handled them before, it surprises you how much it hurts when you hit them too hard. It’s not the worst pain you have right now.
You pick up speed a little and then practice letting yourself “bump”, a fancy way of saying fall flat on your back. Each time, you knock the wind out of yourself a little but you get right back up and continue your running. Finally, you have enough momentum that you’re able to just roll yourself into a somersault, and sure, it’s not the most perfectly executed thing, but you keep your body straight and you pop right back up. Just like a pro.
“Ta-da!” you say to yourself.
That’s when the tears come. It’s not falling to pieces, but the stew of emotions inside you just starts to leak out. What the hell do you do now?
There are some footsteps behind you, echoing a little in the empty arena, and you see a man’s approaching shadow loom behind you, pushing his long hair back from his face as he crouches down. So you’re not startled when a thick pair of arms wraps around you and you feel his face pressed against your neck.
“Come home.”
You give an unhappy laugh. “Home is kind of a weird concept right now, Jay.”
“You’re always home for me. I guess I was hoping you felt the same way.”
You snap your head to look at him, pulling back enough so that you can focus on his eyes. In all the time you’ve known him, you don’t think he’s ever looked as calm as he does in this moment.
“Congratulations on your win.”
“Yeah, I get to be a target for a while longer.”
“Stop pretending you don’t love it.”
“Sure, I love it. It’s nice. There are other things I love more.” He runs his fingers over your cheeks, cleaning away the remains of your tears. “I’m sorry about sending you that story earlier.”
“All the shit you’ve pulled over the years and that’s the thing you apologize for?”
“Oh I meant I’m sorry that I had to be the one to send it. I don’t want you to shoot the messenger or anything.”
“If I haven’t shot you by now, I think you’re safe.”
He laughs and pulls you back against his chest, kissing down your cheek and neck. Then he stands, pulling you right up with him and letting his lips trail over the crown of your head.
“Come on.” he whispers, taking your hand.
“Wait, I need my shoes.”
You dart over to pick them up and he’s right there to help you into them and to lead you through the ropes and down the stairs. That’s when he plants his lips on yours, firmly, so that you can feel it in your knees.
“I need to go get my suitcase inside.”
“Do you always carry everything with you wherever you go?”
“I’m headed straight to the airport from here. Catching a red eye back.”
“Skip it. Leave tomorrow.”
“Just like that?”
“Sure. I have a really nice room.”
“I know you do, I booked it.”
“Always taking care of me, aren’t you?”
“Oh wow, he noticed.”
He kisses you again, a little longer, digging his fingers into your back, and your body melts against him of its own volition.
“I’m not coming back if everything is just going to go back to the way it was, Jay.”
“I didn’t come running after you because you’re good at managing my schedule.”
You give him a sceptical look but you can't entirely keep from smiling.
“Look at me,” he grins, “I’m a god. Any woman would want me and you have me. You should feel like you won the lottery.”
“Yeah,” you drawl, letting him wrap an arm around you as you walk away together, “I won.”
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specsforwoo · 3 years
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Son of Morpheus | Demigod!Lee Jeno
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Parent Deity: Morpheus (God of Dreams and Human Dreamers)
Allegiance: Hypnos
This boy loves to sleep
Like LOVES to sleep
He could be found sleeping anywhere
High key his mom found him sleeping on the kitchen floor one day
And ever since he was little
He was able to remember his dreams with intense detail
His family just thought it was a 4 year old’s imagination running wild
Until the night terrors started
He was tormented with them
They started around the time he was 7
They still happen today, just much less in frequency
But when he was younger
They were really bad
Like he would wake up screaming and crying
And it took ages for him to calm down
It got to the point that his mom was considering taking him to a child psychiatrist
He found a way to calm himself though
He began drawing out scenes from his dreams
No matter what they are
Light and airy or nightmarish
It helped him cope in a way
Life continued on
And he started opening up to his mom about his dreams
He talked about a young man with tan skin and dark curly hair
And wings of a white warblers
He told stories of epic battles
Of courtrooms filled with music and sleeping bodies
Of sleepless nights talking with a man sitting on the moon
Jeno couldn’t tell if he was scared of the man or not
As he entered middle school
He started being able to interpret his dreams
Other’s dreams too
He kept it a secret though
It terrified him
He learned to accept this too
As he did everything else
But then he learned he could predict others dreams
And it scared the shit out of him
He told his best friend, Jaemin first
Jaemin just gave him this knowing look and took him to his mom
His mom sat him down
And for the first time in his 14 years of life
His mother pulled out a photo of his father
And he was shocked
It was the curly haired man that he saw every night in his dreams
Sitting there next to his mother in a cafe in Greece
He was fucking confused
Like really fucking confused
Until it clicked
That was his dad
His dad had wings of a garbler
HIS DAD HAS WINGS OF A GARBLER
Am I going to grow wings too!?!?!?!?!?!?
No, you idiot. Jaemin
I’m not?
No, you have to earn them. Also Jaemin
So that night he was lying in bed
Questioning whether or not he wanted to fall asleep
Knowing he would have to confront his father there
But a cloud with a dreamcatcher with dew drops hanging from the strings shrouded with a calming silver light appeared above his head
And he fell asleep instantaneously
His father was sitting there
Talking with the man who embodied the moon
The man that he didn’t recognize made a comment and vanished after he caught sight of him
His father turned around. It was like he hadn’t aged a day since the photo see saw
Do you know who I am?
Uhhhhh. A dude with white warbler wings??? That haunts my dreams every night. Who also happens to be my father?
He didn’t mean to sound as sarcastic as it came out
Yes, that is all true, though I don’t ‘haunt’ you. But, do you know who I am?
No
He sat him down in the dark pavilion, explaining about the gods and goddess, the war and everything in between, even how he was born.
Do I like…. Have half-siblings??
No, but Jaemin is your cousin. His father smiled
After that, the dream faded off and he was peaceful for the rest of the night
Waking up, Jaemin was passed out on the couch in the living room
Picking up the nearest thing (a remote) he threw it at the boy on the couch, causing him to wake up
WHY IN OLYMPUS DID YOU NEVER TELL ME WE ARE TECHNICALLY COUSINS????
Not my place?
Anyways start packing, Mom said I can take you to camp with me this year :)
Yes, Jaemin calls Jeno’s mom his mom
And so he went to camp with Jaemin that year
It was nothing like what Jaemin described
It was WAY cooler
On the first day people were milling around everywhere
Jaemin led him over to a couple older kids with badges around their necks
Hey Jaemin!
Jaemin introduced them as Johnny and Ten, both sons of wind gods, both camp leaders who were helping all of the new kids get around and find their cabins
They’ll take care of you, I have to go find her.
Jaemin basically dumped Jeno on their shoulders so he could go find his girlfriend smh
Jaemin told us you were Morpheus’ kid, we were thinking about putting you in the Crios cabin? Does that sound okay? We would put you with Jaemin but he said you should get to know other campers your first year here. The shorter one spoke up
The taller one, Jaemin introduced him as Johnny, pulled out a gold coin, flicking it into the air while muttering something, and a wavering rainbow appeared in front of them
Put me through to Taeil and soon the rainbow was showing an older boy as well with a red undercut over some astrology papers
The rainbow??? Was facetime???
Ten obviously saw the shock on poor Jeno’s face, carefully explaining what an Iris message was and how to do it
After that he settled into demigod life pretty quickly
Jaemin introduced him to all of his friends, the Dream team, even some older campers who he was close with
He even liked the Crios cabin so much that he decided to stay there past the first year. The Morpheus cabin was lonely and Jaemin always had his girlfriend over trying to get her to sleep
The night terrors slowly subsided and soon his dreams were more peaceful than anything else
But one time he dreamt about a girl, right around his age, running into camp, a dark aura surrounding her but obvious scared
It wasn’t the dark aura that worried him, Kun and Jaehyun both had a dark aura, both sons of gods related to death
But her aura was different, it was mixed with madness, it was close to driving her insane
Even though it was only a dream, he couldn’t shake it off
He asked everyone that he knew, especially Jaemin, he found out a while ago that he was the one who founded the camp, what the aura could be and no one knew
He also started watching the border of camp everyday
Not stalking it or anything, just glancing over whenever he had a chance
A couple weeks past and Jeno was convinced that it was just a really weird dream
But then you actually showed up
Same way that it happened in the dream
You ran into the borders of camp like you were out of your mind, you were paranoid, no one could even touch you, not even Sicheng
When Jeno had heard what happened, he ran down to the pavilion
There you were, on the ground, covering your ears, eyes wide open, terrified to shut them, and shaking in fear
Once he had pushed his way through the crowd, he placed his hand over your eyes and shortly, you had fallen asleep
After that, Sicheng had moved you to the infirmary with Jeno’s and Johnny’s help
He found that you were severely dehydrated, and even he couldn’t describe the aura around you. It wasn’t that of Kun or Jaehyun’s but it was definitely similar
You were were in and out of consciousness for about 3 days and when everything finally settled down, a raven with a snake in its mouth appeared over your head
It was symbols that no one had seen or heard of, not even Jaemin or Taeyong
The boys spent the next couple of days researching who the symbols could belong to, and eventually they found it: Melinoe
Goddess of ghosts and spiritual passage who brought mortals nightmares that drove them insane
That would explain the way you were when you first came into camp
After that, Jeno stayed by your side every step of your recovery
He also helped you to manage the nightmares and control your powers
He had been there before, dreams were a tricky subject and nightmares made it even more complicated
But slowly you got the hang of it
And slowly Jeno started to have a crush on you, and slowly it turned into more
When he finally asked you out, you were ecstatic, it would be a lie to say that you hadn’t developed feelings for Jeno since coming to camp
And when camp closed for the summer- except for the few that stayed, he found out that you were attending the same university
He had been studying astrology while you were in the art department, soon, everyone in campus and camp knew who the two of you were
Y’all were inseparable
The Dreamies even accepted you into their group
(Jisung is your favorite don’t tell Jeno)
You eventually ended up moving in with Jaehyun
He had become like your older brother at camp
When Jeno wasn’t able to help you learn about your powers, Jaehyun was there to help
He even got his mom to visit personally and talk to you about your own mom and what he role was, and most importantly, that she wasn’t a bad person
Jaehyun knew the pain that you dealt with having a parent being a literal embodiment of death
And soon enough, it was even like Jeno had moved in with Jaehyun with how much he was at the apartment
Jaehyun was okay with it as long as he didn’t wake up in the middle of the night :)
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dreamersscape · 3 years
Text
In Which I Attempt to Wreak Havoc Upon Panharmonium's Heart. Or Something.
Because I am an awesome friend, clearly, and possibly making people sad/verklempt is definitely an excellent way to (belatedly 😔 but I did start before the 15th!) celebrate Kakashi's birthday, right? ;)
I will admit up front that this is nowhere near as deftly structured and compiled as your Kakashi fanmix, @panharmonium, but that is precisely why I'm not even going to try to organize all these songs into individual playlists. Yet. Plus, I have a tendency to over-explain so this way I can better expound on why certain songs remind me of certain characters. Sorry that I sorta went a little... overboard?
Everything--except a few that aren't available on spotify, I'll link to them directly--can be listened to HERE.
What I'm Looking For - Brendan Benson | Kakashi → I may be a little biased with this one because it fits SO many of my favorite characters so well, somehow, but there's just something about the upbeat/tongue-in-cheek musical cues/delivery of lines such as 'I visit hell on a daily basis, and I see the sadness in all your faces' that just feels so Kakashi to me.
Happy Ending - MIKA | Kakashi → This is presumably a breakup song, but I enjoy it so much more in a non-romantic context (and the song itself isn't really boxed in with overtly romantic framing, so I appreciate that!). Anyway, some very important instructions IMO for listening to this with Kakashi in mind: everything before the bridge is about Kakashi up through his ANBU years, but when you get to the 'little bit of love' refrain, picture Kakashi meeting Tenzo, and then becoming Team 7's sensei, opening back up to Gai, adopting all the other leaf genin, assimilating Sai and Yamato into Team 7, and it keeps building with Kakashi gaining more and more loved ones to fill the hole in his heart, and then cry tears of joy with me! Just my personal suggestion. :D
Light - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team 7 (/all his kids)
with every heartbeat I have left I will defend your every breath
→ I've seen this song used for ship vids and I'm all ????? about that because this is clearly a song about the love you have for your child! But I suppose if one of my favorite pastimes is aggressively re-interpreting love songs in non-romantic ways, I can't begrudge the opposite process... too much, lol.
Heroes - MIKA | Team Minato
your blood on me/and my blood on you/but to make you bleed/the only thing I wouldn't do/.../I wish there was a way/to give you a hand to hold/'cause you don't have to die in your glory/die, to never grow old
Long Lost Friends - Transit | Kakashi & Obito
how long/do you have to say that/this is not the person I used to know/you are not the person I used to know/.../because lately, you've been looking at me like you've seen a ghost/and isn't it obvious who's been missing who the most
→ What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck!
Against the Voices - Switchfoot | Kakashi
'cause everybody knows/the hardest war to fight/is the fight to be yourself/when the voices try to turn you into someone else
Out of the Darkness - Matthew and the Atlas | Obito? Yamato? Kakashi? Itachi & Sasuke? Naruto & Kurama? → I'm a bit undecided about this one, or if I should just not worry about choosing one character and just let myself feel all the "inner darkness is not an innate characteristic, Danzo! They're just grieving/in a lot of pain, and they can find their way out of that dark place!" feels.
Save A Place - 1969 | Kakashi & Sasuke
so I'll keep away and save a place for you/and I'll only make the same mistakes as you/.../when all the blood all over your fingers is dried up/the pain will still linger
→ I'm not uber-confident in picking out really fitting Kakashi & Sasuke songs yet, but I hope this hits a lot of the right notes for you. :)
Thrive - Switchfoot | Kakashi
I'm always close, but I'm never enough/I'm always in line, but I'm never in love/I get so down, but I won't give up/I get so down, but I won't give up
→ See, it says right there that he's never in love! Not the crux of the song, and he's not always 'in line' either, but still! :)
Disarm - The Civil Wars | Kakashi & Obito
the years burn, burn, burn
→ I don't know how I keep collecting fictional relationships that work so well for this song, but literally every single line of this song hits so hard for these two?? Will never recover from this. (Also, I usually disregard when 'my love' pops up in the last line of the chorus, as the mood dictates. :) It's pretty incidental as is IMO.)
Renaissance - Paolo Buonvino & Skin | Sakumo & Obito & Kakashi & Naruto
let me show you one last time/let me show you one last sign/you can find it/I can't say that I can change the world/but if you let me, I can make another world for us/let me suffer all for you/make this vision all brand new/we can fight them/I can't say that I can win it all, [but] come with me and I will make my words stand tall
→ Okay, this is a very odd choice given that it's actually the theme song for a different show about the Italian renaissance (if you happen to see this, Mirjam, don't hate me!), but this could be IT! The "those who break the rules are scum, but those who would abandon their friends are worse than scum" anthem that's all about building a better world based on these principles! I really hope our sharing-a-brain talent translates to listening to this song in this way because I am feeling SOME KIND of way about this!
The Lament of Eustace Scrubb - The Oh Hellos | Kakashi → I really liked the song you chose from this album for your fanmix, so now I've feeling a tiny bit too on-the-nose with my choice, but I guess this is just a Kakashi album all around. 😆
Glass Heart Hymn - Paper Route | Kakashi(+ Obito) & Sasuke(+ Itachi)
memories as heavy as a stone/ I am empty, in my end you are my beginning
This Is Home - Switchfoot | Yamato & Kakashi (+ Team 7)
and now, after all my searching/after all my questions/I'm gonna call it home
→ All finding-where-you-belong songs are actually Yamato songs. True story!
Faust, Midas, & Myself - Switchfoot | Obito
you have one life left to leave/you have one life left to lead
→ Could this be any more perfect for Obito? It even has creepy-old-man!Madara!
Pluto - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi
Always Gold - Radical Face | Kakashi & Obito/Sasuke & Itachi/Naruto & Sasuke
all my life, I've never known where you've been/there were holes in you, the kind that I could not mend/and I heard you say, right when you left that day/does everything go away?/yeah, everything goes away/but I'm going to be here till forever/so just call when you're around
→ ...but mostly Kakashi & Obito because 'there were holes in you' 😭😭😭
Lemon Boy - Cavetown | Yamato & Kakashi → You already know the delights of this song of course, but I gots to be comprehensive. :)
Everywhere I Go - Lissie/cover by Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team Minato
danger will follow me now everywhere I go/angels will call on me and take me to my home/well, these tired eyes just want to remain closed
→ I chose the Sleeping At Last cover for maximum angst, 'cause sometimes it be like that.
Uneven Odds - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi
maybe your light is a seed, and the darkness the dirt, in spite of the uneven odds, beauty lifts from the earth
→ ...just like an earth style: mud wall :') Okay, okay, bad jokes aside, the seed metaphor of course makes me want to associate it with Tenzo, but this is clearly a Kakashi song!
Twenty-four - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito
life is not what I thought it was twenty-four hours ago/and I'm not who I thought I was twenty-four hours ago/still I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/you're raising the dead in me/I wanna see miracles/to see the world change/wrestled the angel for more than a name/for more than a feeling, for more than a cause/I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/and you're raising the dead in me
I'm Still Here (Jim's Theme) - John Rzeznik | Kakashi
and how can they say I never change?/they're the ones that stay the same/.../they can't tell me who to be/'cause I'm not what they see/.../and their words are just whispers/and lies that I'll never believe
→ Yeah, I might've accidentally imprinted on Treasure Planet as a 14 year old, and then someone made sure this song would forever live in my heart by making a fanvid of it with my favorite character from my robin hood show, but! He's still here!
See You Again - Wiz Khalifa (feat. Charlie Puth) | Kakashi & Obito/Team Minato
how can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?/everything I went through, you were standing there by my side/and now you gon' be with me for the last ride
→ I am being very unoriginal here, and there are in fact already fanvids made for these relationships set to this song (along with many others featuring different Naruto relationships), but I don't think I'll be able to rest until I translate the movie playing in my head whenever I hear this song now into an actually watchable format. After all, they have come a long way from where they began, and I intend to make that both as touching and ironically hilarious as possible!
Goodnight, Travel Well - The Killers | Kakashi → Admittedly, I got this idea from a magnificently crafted fanvid done for my robin hood show, but I genuinely think it would be really interesting to make something similar for Kakashi centered around the time he technically died but got better? I don't know how to explain it, but I think it fits quite well.
30 Lives - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi & all the people he's loved and lost → can be listened to here.
A Pound of Flesh - Radical Face | Kakashi
then today I wake up feeling easy/and find I'm on more familiar roads/I got a darkness wrapped inside me/but now it ain't so hard to let it go/so keep a candle burning in the window/I'm almost home
Hold Back The River - James Bay | Kakashi & life getting in the way of him being with his precious people (you may be sensing a pattern here) → @the road of life: Let! Kakashi! And his People! Hold! Each! Other!!! Also, 'tried to square not being there, but think that I should have been' is absolutely about Sasuke's defection and Kakashi adding it to his long list of undeserving self-recriminations.
The Fall - Imagine Dragons | Yamato & Kakashi → 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Shadowman - K's Choice | could work equally well for Kakashi or Obito, I think
any time tomorrow a part of me will die/and a new one will be born/any time tomorrow/I'll get sick of asking why/sick of all the darkness I have worn/any time tomorrow/I will try to do what's right/making sense of all I can/any time tomorrow I'll pretend to see the light/I just might/.../and doesn't it make you sad?/to see so much love denied/see nothing but a shadowman inside
Paint - The Paper Kites | Kakashi & Team 7
still there's a wound and I'm moving slow/though it don't show, though it don't show/I've got a hole where nothing grows,/how little you know, how little you know
→ A song for just how much Team 7 doesn't know about their sensei.
Always Find Me Here - Transit | Kakashi → ...most likely at the memorial stone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (why am I like this)
Taste - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi
it’s bittersweet, it’s poetry/a careful pruning of my dead leaves/it’s holy ground, a treasure chest/I'm on my knees and only scratch the surface/like fists unraveling, like glass unshattering/we’re breaking all the rules, we’re breaking bread again/we’re swallowing light ’til we’re fixed from the inside
Help - Hurts | Yamato & Kakashi
take my hand and lead the way/out of the darkness and into the light of the day/.../'cause I know what I've been missing/and I know that I should try/but there's hope in this admission/and there's freedom in your eyes/.../I can feel the darkness coming/and I'm afraid of myself/call my name and I'll come running/'cause I just need some help
→ NO ONE TOUCHE ME.
Your Soul - RHODES | A mish-mash of Kakashi & Tenzo and Rin & Obito & Kakashi and Gai & Kakashi vibes? → So like, 'oh you know when you're alone/I'm holding on and on and on and on/to your soul' reminded me of your 'when you're all alone...the only thing you really think about is dying' 'but when there are two of you...the only thing you can think about is surviving.' and now kakashi - who just saved his life - is asking him 'did you want to die' and yamato is saying 'no' there are two of them and yamato wants to SURVIVE. tags as well as Gai's steadfastness as a friend, and 'I just wanna hold your hand' made me think of Rin's "Well then, I'm just going to have to connect the two of you." while holding their hands, and the sunlight/'soul shine'/'your light' motif is just A Lot in this song!!
7 Years - Lukas Graham | Kakashi → Alright, yeah, there are already approximately a gazillion pre-existing Naruto AMVs for this song and even one or two focusing on Kakashi, but they don't capitalize on all the angst possibilities in many of the lyrics or reach the fluff potential of 'will I think the world is cold or will I have a lot of children who can warm me [when I'm old]' and I cannot abide that!
Putting The Dog To Sleep - The Antlers | Kakashi & Sasuke → Okay, on one hand, this song is One Big Oof. But I do like the (potentially odd) way I've conceptualized it for Kakashi & Sasuke? Like, the first half is Kakashi going through all the tragedies in his life and getting lost in ANBU, but then in the second half it transitions to him wanting to prevent Sasuke from having to be as alone as Kakashi once was and they can face life together? It makes me emotional!
Trust Me - The Fray | Kakashi & Obito
I found a friend, or should I say a foe?/said there's a few things you should know/we don't want you to see/we come, and we go/here today, gone tomorrow
→ There are a few lines that call Tenzo & Kakashi to mind, but mostly it's Obito & Kakashi.
The Lightning Strike (What If This Storm Ends?) - Snow Patrol | Kakashi → I had to, right? My mindscape is a little murky/scattered about what specifically I want to think about when I listen to this, but obviously it has to do with Kakashi in one way or another.
Kettering - The Antlers | Team Minato(???) → Honestly not sure if this will make any sense, but yeah, vague team minato vibes?
Swans - Unkle Bob | Kakashi & Obito/Rin/Minato/Kushina/Sakumo → They should be by his side always!!!
Looking Too Closely - Fink | Kakashi → I honestly feel rather ambivalent about this one too, but I can't deny 'truth is like blood underneath your fingernails/and you don't wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself/looking too closely' always destroys me because... well, you know. I love suffering. :(
Souvenirs - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito & Rin
wolves - Switchfoot | Kakashi
snowfall for the battlefield/roses for the father's sons/see them red on the ground:/bleeding/when the revolution came/we were more than hungry men/we were hoping for more:/bleeding/end. begin again./all of my world is collision and spin/hope is a world that has yet to begin/awaken, oh sleeper/awaken, oh sleeper/a new day begins
→ I wanted a wolf-related song too. :)
PRODIGAL SOUL - Switchfoot | Obito, Itachi, & Sasuke; just all them wayward Uchiha boys
Coming Down - Dear Euphoria | kid!Kakashi & his relationships
the shell/that I wore/it wasn't for fun/it wasn't to make you/stick around/it was for survival/it was what I've learnt/it was for the sun/.../our love has grown/our love has flown
→ Another one I'm a little unsure of whether it makes sense outside of my head or not, but I like the vibes?
Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons | Kakashi & Yamato? → Hmm, can I maybe submit this as a Kakashi-&-Yamato-just-need-to-mske-it-through-this-war-so-they-can-have-a-bright-bright-future song?
All Is Well (It's Only Blood) - Radical Face | Kakashi → ...he said as he's bleeding out or after he's thrown himself in the line of fire protecting someone he thinks is a better person than himself...
Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi
when the hour is nigh/and hopelessness is sinking in/and the wolves all cry/to fill the night with hollering/when your eyes are red/and emptiness is all you know/with the darkness fed/I will be your scarecrow/you tell me to hold on/oh, you tell me to hold on/but innocence is gone/and what was right is wrong
→ In a similar vein to the previous song. But goodness gracious! Were they NOT straight up describing Kakashi here?
Amaryllis - Shinedown | Yamato & Kakashi → Just tossing this one out there, not sure if it will make sense or if it's a reach... but I like it?
lost 'cause - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Sasuke
are we a lost cause?/or are we just lost 'cause/we won't be the future we refuse to see?/and if I'm your lost cause/it'll be your lost 'cause/you won't see me as I am, the possibility/that I'm not the enemy
→ 214 feels. (And before and after that, but yeah.)
Through the Ghost - Shinedown | Kakashi & Obito
so many silent sorrows/you never hear from again/and now that you've lost tomorrow/is yesterday still a friend?/.../everything that mattered is just/a city of dust/covering both of us/did you hide yourself away?/I can't see you anymore/.../did you hide yourself away?/are you living through the ghost?/did you finally find a place/above the shadows so the world will never know?/the world will never know you like I do ... like I still do
Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men | Kakashi → Just Kakashi having little chats with his ghosts, totally the most heartwarming way to conclude this section. 😅
Sleepyhead - Passion Pit | Kakashi → Just kidding! Here's a slightly less morbid song for the Most Tired Boy Of Them All.™ (Random aside: this was my customary song to listen to on my walks to 8AM organic chemistry classes; I found it strangely soothing! On a different occasion, after a particularly long day for her, one of my roommates didn't have the energy to make it to her bed but nevertheless requested a lullaby from us. So I obliged by playing this song for her, but she didn't seem to gain the same peace of mind from it as I did. 😄 I know it's not my place to propose anything like this, but it does amuse me to imagine bookends!Kakashi in these situations, even though it's not OChem classes he has to go to.)
General/Miscellaneous:
Rise Above It - Switchfoot | Ensemble
don't care what they're telling me/we can be what we want to be/.../just because it's law doesn't mean that it's fair/.../don't believe the system's on your side/.../the curse is spoken/the system's broken; rise above it
→ I mean, how could I not think about Naruto when this song also has the lines 'hear us sing tonight like the last night on earth/we will rise like the tide/like dead men coming back to life/we are rising, rising'? It's fun to be literal sometimes!
Doorways - Radical Face | Allllll the traumatized children → Someone has to put all those tragic childhood flashbacks to good use, after all.
Ghost Towns - Radical Face | take your pick of Itachi, Sasuke, or Post-Kannabi-Bridge!Obito
there's no comin' home/with a name like mine/I still think of you/but everyone knows/yeah everyone knows/if you care, let it go
Blinding Light - Switchfoot | Hey, Hiruzen? You may have coined the phrase, "children are the king" but I don't think you truly understand it... (insert Princess Bride joke here)
hey boy, don't believe them/we're the nation that eats our youth/.../still looking for the blinding light/still looking for the reason why/still looking for the sun to shine/all my life I've been living in the darkest night/still looking for the blinding light/to take me higher and higher
Brother's Blood - Kevin Devine | EVERYONE → ...but certainly so much you could do with Itachi & Sasuke, Obito & Kakashi, Shisui & Itachi, even Hashirama & Madara! Sakumo's teammates turning their backs on him and saying 'I don't know one thing about my brother's blood'?!?! There are SO MANY ideas I have for this song! It gives me chills and makes my brain scream.
We Need Each Other - Sanctus Real | Ensemble → Already mentioned this one to you, but I have to include it here for thoroughness' sake!
Whispering - Alex Clare | the Hidden Leaf's lost/ostracized children/orphans
who will care for the falling?/who will care for the falling leaves?
So this is probably a strange concept to come up with and apply to this song, but the 'whispering, whispering, whispering' parts brought Konaha's virulent gossiping/passing judgement about others and often kids they don't even know problem to mind, too, and yeah?
The World You Want - Switchfoot | Ensemble → If I were to make a fanvid set to this song, I would definitely keep a broad focus, but I can't deny that the lines 'you start to look like what you believe, you float through time like a stream, if the waters of time are made up by you and I, I could change the world for you, you change it for me' FOR SURE has strong Obito & Kakashi/Kakashi & Tenzo vibes.
Red Eyes - Switchfoot | Ensemble, but definitely many dashes of Uchihas 😄 → I would like to thank Masashi Kishimoto for creating a world where red eyes are a Thing of Importance so I can one day make a fanvid using this song in not just the tired or teary bloodshot-red eyes way, but in a very literal sense too.
TAKE MY FIRE - Switchfoot | The Will of Fire → 'Cause I think I'm sooooo clever. 😄
Above The Clouds Of Pompeii - Bear's Den | various parent & child relationships → This obviously derives from the not-caring-about-your-female-characters problem, but it always gets me that all the single parents in the Naruto universe are almost invariably the fathers! I guess sometimes you can safely guess that the mothers are still alive/exist, but either way we hardly ever get to see them. :/ The one exception I can think of right now is Kurenai, but maybe I'm forgetting another conspicuous single mother. Anyway, I don't know if this helps or hinders more a potential Naruto fanvid for this song, but regardless, it still gives me feelings?
Who We Are - Switchfoot | Ensemble → It just makes me inordinately happy that the chorus for this song starts with 'who we are (in the fever of our youth)', you know? :D
Brother - Kodaline | all the friendships we can stuff in here and then some → Quite a well known song I'm pretty sure, but I love how many dynamics one could showcase in a potential fanvid of this. And, not gonna lie, 'oh brother, we go deeper than the ink beneath the skin of our tattoos' deserves to be used in some sort of Tenzo 'n' Kakashi or Team Ro fan creation!
Special Bonus:
Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine | Kakashi & Obito → I'm not sure whether I would have realized how well this works for Kakashi & Obito on my own, funnily enough, but then I found this fanvid of it (containing only scenes you've seen naturally!) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It's so well done!
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sanchoyo · 3 years
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danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?
see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3
-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.
-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...
-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question
-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)
-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.
-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*
-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.
-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!
-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...
-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.
-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?
-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.
-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.
-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.
-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?
-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.
-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)
-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao
-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.
-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...
-is he....
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-you know....
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.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)
-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!
-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!
-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.
-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)
-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.
-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...
-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.
-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...
-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.
-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)
-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/
-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize
-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.
-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)
-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...
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-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)
-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!
-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.
-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!
-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(
-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!
-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)
-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.
-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!
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betweentheracks · 3 years
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Updates//Recent Inactivity
Hello all! This is me finally taking some time to sit down and offer up a rundown on how life is currently going as a means of explaining my inactivity. This is a personal post that is guaranteed to be both rambling and emotional so if that is not your cup of tea, I understand and happily advise you just skip over this post as it is not relevant to the actual content this blog was intended for.
EDITED: After reading this back I now realize this is really just me spilling the tea on my own life and is laughably dishy in details which is extremely not my usual stance on my personal privacy. But idk, it was cathartic so I'm leaving it as is despite the urge to redact 70% of what I say.
I'll start with the good news that I am officially out of lockdown and have remained COVID-19 free since my return home from the hospital. This also means my son finally was allowed to come home to me which is dazzling and exciting and also a little terrible too. He's at a precocious age where tantrums are the cool way to communicate and having been gone for so long completely thrashing his established routine has caused friction. He came home and his parent was not the same as when he left; is much weaker and less energetic than before, paler and shaky - but also there's the addition of my best friend having moved in to assist and take care of me/him while we all do our best to muddle through.
The readjustment has been rough and a lot of this week has made me incredibly thankful to have practically zero memory of how I was as a child. There have been injuries: I have been whacked in the face with the metal cover for a floor vent while dozing on the sofa instead of paying rapt attention to whatever silliness he was showing off to me, there was his complete dismissal of me asking him to stay back and away from the hot oven as I pulled lunch from it's fiery jaws only to then be faced with a toddler quickly approaching with his hand raised to touch so I naturally made a move to block him and in the process I let go of the oven door which slammed upward and clamped my arm tightly between it and the inside cavern of the oven while it was set to a roasty 400 degrees Fahrenheit - earning me a mangled arm with burns of varying degrees, and then we also had that fit where it seemed like a much more grand idea to scale the babygate cordoning the stairs and I had to rush up them to stop him from tumbling face first down two flights and of course did the falling all on my own and did it backwards then slammed painfully into the wall of the landing. This all happened within a 48hr time frame and makes me wonder why I am so catastrophically inclined.
I have bruises that range the majority of my spine courtesy of the wall and stairs, two minor first degree burns on my forearm that are in the shape of an equals and quite large despite the lack of actual pain I feel from them, and the underside of my forearm was instantly blistered then popped then melted down into a horrid glob of skin mush and sticky red-orange and is a second degree burn that I have been assured is no real cause for concern as long as I tend it with care. In all, I managed to escape my momjuries relatively unscathed and with a child that was scared senseless at having hurt his momma and is quick to listen and never stops cuddling me in the time since. Here's hoping he isn't significantly traumatized from this since exactly none of this is especially his fault and is due to my clumsy, accident-prone status in life.
So yes, The Toddler has returned home to me and after some happenings we have settled and are happy. However, his blast from the past father has suddenly just decided to reemerge after more than a year of radio silence and static and has slapped me with a custody petition. Hooray. While I have no worries on this matter due to my mother working for one of the top custody lawyers in the state and snagging him as my representation, and the utter lack of competency on my estranged baby daddy's end clearly being displayed in literally anything and everything the idiot does/says, I do have to now go through the overhaul of a custody case and that is just so weak and exhaustive. Not to mention the basis of his claims that I am not fit to raise a child are founded in my health concerns and the crazy work schedule I keep; ironically, my health is making it so that I have much less insane hours and makes this fairly moot but to each their own I guess. Also worth noting on this matter is that he only did this now because he was recently placed under penalty for child support back pay and nothing in this world matters to him like his money and this is his special way of getting one over on me for tampering with his meager earnings. (He's a wannabe musician - the soundcloud rapper sort, just so we are all on the same page here). If I thought for even a second this was a genuine desire to be an active and stable parent I would be a lot less pressed to act in favor of making it legally binding that he can only see him under a supervisory condition and share time evenly, but it just is not believable in the slightest.
So the thing is - my health is actually quite dismal presently. I'm due in for open heart surgery on the 8th of April and until then I have been doing my utmost to mind all the nagging I get from doctors, PT specialists, the surgeons that will be slicing and dicing me, and my in-family medical practitioner that sometimes remembers he is also my brother and not just an MD. But like, you guys, this surgery is terrifying and technically is two surgeries rolled into one. They'll be cracking my chest open and then stopping my heart while they lift it from where it sits sweetly unhinged and lopsided in my body and very finely shave away some of the excess muscle that has built up around the wall of my heart as well as some unfriendly scar tissue that has lingered since my last surgery years ago. Granted there is no accidental slip that nicks my ugly gargantuan heart and renders me as good as dead, once this first part is finished the other surgeon will need to be deft and very quick to place this ventricular assisting piece in the valve that has all but given up on functioning altogether and do so in the time remaining before the time limit for my heart being essentially unplugged from by body is up, which would also feasibly mean my death. Lots of exciting and terrible sounding consequences, am I right?
Well let's bear it in mind that I am just below 30 in age and therefore not duly experienced in the realm of facing down my own mortality via making all necessary legal arrangements and managing my affairs and assets so that, in event of my untimely death, the custody case still doesn't stand a chance of snatching my son away to the sad misfortune of being raised by a man that has stated openly he only has interest in his kids so far as what they can do for him/get for him in terms of benefit and that he would be unwilling to be hypocritical and never deter his children from drugs and a lifestyle of extremely questionable moral integrity and hygiene alike. Eugh. But I also have had to make sure there is a DNR in place just in case things go wrong during the operation, my will has also been finalized and notarized, all my savings and financial/material assets have been squared away to come into my child's inheritance when he is of age and, most importantly, a document that states clear and direct instructions for him to be placed in care of my mother or, if she is unwilling or incapable, he will be under custodial order and guardianship of my best friend whom he has always viewed as a pseudo-dad anyway. Legally binding and even in light of the paternity petition this document supersedes parental right by way of the provided evidence I have submitted to prove a lack of parental credibility. That's right, I spent days lowkey stalking and sleuthing about to capture what I needed to show this man for what he actually is and I have precisely zero guilt or shame for doing it; this is my child on the line and that means momma doesn't have to play by the rules of snitches getting stitches or whatever other scary street rules he tosses at me as idle threats. (He's done this routinely for all the years I have known him, and it is somehow both pathetic and hilarious because he knows for a fact that, if I wanted, I could throttle him in less time than it would take for him to form a rational thought between his drug soaked braincells - I was also a person of less than savory character not too long ago and can handle myself very well. But I digress because I am losing my track of thought.
After the surgery I will have so damn much PT and rehab, all of which will be specific to varying parts of my body that will need to be reworked and strengthened. Weeks, months of it really. This surgery is major and hits heavy enough that I will be in the hospital for at least 10-14 days just recovering from it without taking into consideration any number of complications that could pop up. Hell, if they get in there and find a situation worse than they currently have an understanding of in the limited capacity of cardiology tech can provide of such a gnarled beastly heart and realize they can't really do anything with it after all, I'll be added to the transplant list. I think this is more daunting to consider than the surgery, honestly.
In that way that doctors have about them, I was "comforted" by being informed that this was an inevitability and I would have been faced with this in a matter of years - less than a handful actually - but the way COVID-19 chewed through me sped it up. I'm sure my years of substance issues were also very helpful in this endeavor, but either way I still am unsure whether I feel better knowing this or not? Mostly I think I feel conflicted and hopeful tempered with the caution of life being super shady in the ways it has often brought me to the doorsteps of dying in situations that seem like odd chance. I also am gifted with being so capable in jinxing myself that I brought myself to COVID-19 ("The way life is going I'll probably square up with Rona next week or some bullshit." Positive test flagged within the following week) and also into labor ("Watch me go into labor on Labor Day since that would be the sort of universal pun that would strike my bad penny having ass." Indeed hatched my youngling on Labor Day of that year) by saying some things within the scope of my bad humor that instantly manifested as reality so I'm not taking any risks here lol.
The gist is that life is really stirring up the winds over here and so I haven't been online and posting anything that would make my blog valid in a fat minute. I do apologize for this and also for the fact that this post took me nearly a week to type up, but when things calm a little I will be back in full. For the time being I will be sporadic and do what I can when I can!
Thanks to anyone that read this mess all the way here! And a big thank you to all of you still supporting me!
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your-turn-to-role · 4 years
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Feralness of the NPCs? If you like.
this one took me a bit longer, because as critrolestats calculated a couple months ago, across both campaigns, matt has over a thousand npcs, and we'd be here all year if i had to rank all of them 😂
but in my attempt to brainstorm all significant npcs from both campaigns (though i'm sure i'm forgetting someone i'm gonna immediately remember as soon as i post this), i've got gilmore, allura, kima, jarett, kaylie, cassandra, kynan, artagan, kiri, essek, dairon, orly, yeza, and pumat sol, so i can do those guys!
(not including villains, figures we don't know much personal about like the bright queen, or guest pcs, because they're still technically pcs. also not splitting by campaign because allura and artagan appear in both)
1 - kaylie motherfucking shorthalt. i adore her so much, and she is feral as fuck. granted, she's highly competent feral, she's good enough at the flute to challenge scanlan, and good enough at the violin to be a professional fiddler (which, i reiterate, takes so much dedication to learn), and aes adan/the meat man definitely didn't become as powerful as he did all because of scanlan. but also, is a thief and a conman and will 100% get in a bar fight with just about anyone, absolutely unafraid to speak her mind, and her approach to meeting her father for the first time was to work out all her grudges by trying to kill him with a knife. see also - her epilogue was deciding to finish the schooling she dropped out of, but at a really fancy academy so she could prove she's better than all the rich kids, just really rub it in their faces. i so wish i could have seen it.
2 - kima will fight you. kima will fight anyone. i don't know why all the short girls in cr are so feral, but like literally all of them are just pure feral condensed into three feet of girl, i love them. kima is no different, except she has a dragon god on her side and also is very gay and she's great
3 - artagan. now, feral in large part constitutes an unwillingness or inability to play by the rules of a functioning society, and that's all artagan's about. show him a rule and he will run the other direction until he feels safe and then come back invisibly and use that rule to fuck with people. he has the chaos part down too, and i was almost gonna put him in first place. however, feral also implies something of a willingness for violence, and artagan doesn't really have that? like he does to an extent, but in the words of mr matthew mercer, "even the nicest of fey are weird and have their dark sides". and as far as fey go, artagan has been shown to care about people a lot more than he's ever wished them harm. like he's still feral, because he's an archfey and the entire feywild is feral. but like... relatively tame feral. give the boy a pen and some paper and he'll leave you alone.
4 - kiri. she's adorable, and is baby, but is also a bird with a knife whose catchphrase has more or less become "go fuck yourself!". i love her.
5 - orly's pretty chill. but also, let's be real, there's a limit to how non-feral a tortle sailor and tattoo artist with bagpipes fused into his shell can be. also is just generally down for whatever illegal antics the m9 feel like getting up to
6 - cassandra. i debated for a while about putting her higher, because there's definitely an argument to be made for that, but you do have to take into consideration how well put together and fancy she is at nearly all times. however. cassandra at no more than maybe 13 was the only person to not get caught in the briarwood attack, rescued her brother from the dungeon where they were torturing him and keeping the bodies of her other siblings, guided him out, got nearly murdered, and lived in a whitestone full of zombies and villains and vampire mind control for five years. she's feral under the surface, she's had to be
7 - jarett. god i love jarett, i forgot about him last time someone asked me my fave c1 npcs but he's the best. anyway, captain of their guard, good at fighting, terrible liar, Definitely Has Never Dealt Drugs Before, will go kill a dragon with you. but like, as long as you're paying him. he's doing this for money, not just out of base feral instinct. Probably Needs A Break.
8 - dairon taught beau and earned her respect somehow, so you know they're at least a little feral. but also, widely respected expositor of the cobalt soul, competent spy, and at least moderately capable of keeping beau in line, so that knocks down their feralness level a fair bit
9 - essek is a fancy boy, and definitely is beholden to a lot of rules. the whole floating thing shows that, like, he's pretty damn far from feral for most of the time he's in rosohna. but i debated who was higher between all the wizards for a while, and i think just because essek is (or at least was) neutral evil and is so driven by his hunger for knowledge and to explore the darker parts of dunamancy, that does push him up the feral scale a little bit. there's very little essek wouldn't do when it comes to discovering secrets. (also, you know, his entire job as the shadowhand, we've seen involves some fucked up stuff, so he's far from squeamish or naive in that sense)
10 - allura is a wizard and a politician and a fancy person and generally rather chill. but as far as the wizards go, wins second most feral because she's been an adventurer. she took down thordak the first time. casually reminisces about how weird all adventuring groups are when vox machina are like licking the weird powder they found in the necromancer dungeon and mentions she was like that too. girl's seen some shit
11 - pumat is not an adventurer, and has no wish to be, and on the whole, is not feral at all. but also, pumat swole.
12 - kynan, wants to be feral? and then was, kinda, for a bit, and then severely regretted it. has had his moments, but on the whole is a Soft Boy
13 - gilmore. we're definitely getting to the definitively Not Feral end of the scale now. i mean, points for crushing a man to death with his mind, also points for "if you could find a way for me to become a dragon, that would be sexy". but gilmore is extremely concerned at all times with putting on that charming and excited mask, he puts a lot of value on his image and practically nothing will get him to tarnish it (even when thordak nearly killed him and he was still barely hanging on, he tried to use prestidigitation to make himself look better, like... those walls run deep). is also just a really genuinely nice person, cares a lot about people, is very empathetic, and again, refuses to show negative emotion if it will hurt someone else in any way. it's hard to imagine shaun gilmore as feral in any way, and if he did get close to that, it wouldn't be in front of other people
14 - yeza. now, points for the slightly mad scientist vibe yeza's got going on, it seems to be veth's type. but also, veth has 100% of the feral in this relationship and they both know it
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shark-myths · 3 years
Text
Fic Writer Review
thanks for the tag, @setting-in-a-honeymoon !
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
60! which is a lot, and also doesn’t include the fics i orphaned from an old fandom (a controversial decision to me, by me)
2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?
867,941
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
so many throughout history, and some i’m sure i’ve forgotten. and yes, i’ve been writing RPF since age 13 and am developmentally stunted as a result. smallville, x-men, lotr, afi, fall out boy, battlestar galactica, mcu, iron man, marina del rey, mcr, star trek, supernatural, p!atd, and now the latest blessed sinkhole, cobra kai.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Stranger Danger
From Russia With Love
The Difference Between Real Love and the Love On TV
Boys Next Door/Assholes
Jet Black Crow
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
oh, I really mean to, i swear. but I have 340 in my inbox that I haven’t responded to. I appreciate my kind and supportive reviewers so much! I just don’t have a lot of time or energy, and I usually choose reading or writing with my time instead of responding to messages. your comments are a gift and I love receiving them so much!!!
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
lol in the olden days, I once ended a fic with a surprise suicide, because i was a cruel and mercurial child. all my fob fics have happy endings though! the fic I have online right now that gets the most ‘wtf is this ending’ feedback is the unreliable narrator ghost story, the ending of which is either happy or REAL SAD, depending on how you interpret is, is Baby You’re A Haunted House
7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
i don’t write crossovers per se but I love a good universe smash. the wildest one I’ve done is my beauty and the beast/coyote ugly peterick remix.
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
god yes, i started writing fic in 2003 and i cannot stress enough how different fandom was back then
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
absolutely I do, lots of emotional intensity but also good old fashioned fucking
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
a million years ago on deviantart
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes! it is the biggest compliment ever, you guys are too good to me
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
hahahahaha @carbonbased000
13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
hard question! rpf is my favorite thing to write because I love making transformations within set biographical constraints, it is by far my favorite way to be creative, but there are so many ships with interesting dynamics. i’m true blue for peterick but i also love fic with older characters who are all gritty and wounded navigating overt and internalized homophobia, and girl ships are the stuff of life. some of my favorite ships I never write for (for example, kirk/spock or various lotr pairings) because like. I have absolutely nothing to add, it’s already perfect. lawrusso is my favorite of the moment because cobra kai is an absolutely WILD show, it’s a blast
14. What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
UGH my ageswap peterick about Patrick letting everyone down again and again and again. literally I’ve been working on this fic for 5 years and only have like one scene left to write but it’s become a goddamn albatross around my neck
15. What are your writing strengths?
I’m funny and I use pretty words, and the fact that I want good things for all my characters shines through
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
will you laugh if I say plot? I am terrible at plots. almost all of my fics are just situations and how people react to them emotionally. the other thing is spatial descriptions, I can’t picture things in my head so i am wildly inconsistent and often just forget to add these in. oh, and I also get so lost in the dreamy emotional bits of people’s inner experiences that I lose my own narrative thread over and over and over again.
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I love it if you’re a student of the language, bilingual, or get someone who is fluent to beta that shit for you. if you don’t have the skillset or resources to do it right, there’s a real risk of cultural appropriation and fetishizing someone’s foreignness, so I’d steer clear. there’s the question of what it adds to the experience of the fic, as a reader or a writer, that has to be considered
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
afi rpf, and I dead-ass thought I’d invented it. you shoulda seen my brain explode when i discovered an entire archive just for that.
19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
I’ve reached a level of pride in my skill that I love most of the fics I finish—if I don’t, I tend not to finish or post! so I’m usually enamored with my most recent stories and have a deep appreciation for most of my gallery. but I do literally have a girl out boy tattoo and that universe (and how my amazing readers participated in building it with me) will always be the most personally important to me, regardless of whether its technical merit is outstripped by newer works
i tag--who wants to do this tag? @leyley09 @sir-transcelot @alienfuckeronmain @carbonbased000 @allkindsofplatinumandpercocet @rhea-imagined @all my other lovelies who feel like doing writing reflection as a means of procrastinating actual writing
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