#also some of you dont know how internalised homophobia works | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

helisol · 3 years

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dude im not sure you will get it after reading this either, but you Can read it now

okay so first of all do not expect me to adhere to rules of grammar or Proper capitalisation, I am writing from the heart

so it’s been said before by other people but if Quark and Odo didnt look like the aliens that they are but instead like two regular prettybois the fandom would do cartwheels over their dynamic and Not call them a crack ship. because really, their dynamic fucking SLAPS and I’m here to tell you Why.

their surface-level dynamic is “Respected and Talented Security Chief and Cunning Immoral Businessman who are in Love but pretend not to be” and that's just an off-brand version of enemies to lovers! which is excellent and for some people that’s all you really need to get invested in a ship.

but some people look at it and go “Hm, no, that’s not enough. I mean, they work as friends but it doesn’t really have to be romantic.” and to that I say you are Absolutely Valid, not everything has to be romantic.

it just so happens that these two fuckers have one of the most compelling romance stories ever, and it’d be a shame not to explore it.

so before I dive into the internalised homophobia and repression, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Quark as a character.

because if you have brainworms like me you can kind of see that its an honest to god greek tragedy.

this guy comes from a race of people where being kind, ethical and fair is considered Abnormal and Horrifying. and I’m not gonna call Quark out of all people kind, ethical or fair but,,,

you ever notice how he’s A Much Better Person Than Pretty Much All Other Ferengi?

dont get me wrong, Quark is still a bastard, but every once in a while his True Character shines through. and I say True Character because guys,,, the way he behaves around other people is an Act. he’s pretending to be something he’s not.

he has to try so hard to be a good ferengi it’s honestly painful to watch at times. because he is a SHIT ferengi!

he loves his friends- because that's what the ds9 crew are. they’re his friends! and it makes him miserable because that's not! normal! for a ferengi!

let’s compare Quark and Rom for a second.

Quark reeks of self loathing because a lot of the time he just Doesn’t act like a ferengi is supposed to, and this drives a lot of conflict in the show. he knows how a ferengi should act, it’s just that he can’t!! fucking!! do it!! but he still tries and tries to fit into that mold, which straight up ruins his life on multiple occasions.

Rom is also not a Model Ferengi, but he lives without hating himself. and it’s mostly because he doesn’t care about how a ferengi Should act, he’s loved and cared for even when everybody knows that he’s a shit ferengi! because his non-ferengi-ness works to his benefit. it encourages and highlights his abilities as an engineer. the success and love he finds make it easy for him to be content with his true self. Unlike Quark, who doesn’t get unconditional love from anyone.

its so!! tragic!! because you can see what Quark is really like!! his true self!! he’s a nice guy who cares for people!

its right there all the time and it's so blatantly obvious. especially in episodes like “Body Parts”, “Bar Association”, “The Way Of The Warrior” and “Ferengi Love Songs”

his own wiki page literally calls him “a compassionate and generous man by ferengi standards” which pretty much translates to “not really a good ferengi”.

anyway so Quark is a tragic figure or whatever but we’re actually here for the REPRESSED! HOMOSEXUAL! TENDENCIES! that he and Odo both exhibit.

with characters like garak you don’t really need to have brainrot to pick up on those tendencies, because that was something andrew robinson chose to do, on purpose.

and to be fair, Quark wasn’t intended to be Any kind of representation, not even by the actor. I’m just pointing out that he Does look and act and talk like a little gayman.

I will admit that he is Painfully Straight in the text of the show, but on a meta level he’s just. a dude who has a serious case of repressing his real personality. and taking it a step further- he also represses his feelings towards another man.

and that man is Odo.

a few things on him:

Odo is literally desperate to be a person. unlike Quark, who at least has the comfort of belonging to a society of people with a set of rules and expectations, Odo has never met anyone or anything like him in all his years of life.

like, we all know Odo basically grew up in a lab, right?

with people who didn’t know anything about him. who he was so unalike that they literally called him “Nothing”

but he still learned to look and talk and act like them (because if he didn’t he’d feel *pain* which is very fucked up by the way?)

so we know for a fact that Odo wants to be recognised as a person- which is why he tries really hard to conform to the ideals of the society that raised him. instead of exploring his nature as a shape shifter he maintains a humanoid form, picks up a job and creates an entire personality around what he wants to be seen as. but not what he really is.

and that's the thing that causes all the conflict between Quark and Odo. the type of person odo wants to be seen as is the polar opposite of whatever the fuck quark wants to be seen as.

In the same way that Quark acts like a Normal Ferengi, Odo acts like a Normal Security Officer. and in a cruel twist of fate, the Ferengi happens to be the antithesis of the Security Officer.

If you only look at them as the things they act like, and not the things they are, you might say they’re way too different to like each other, right?

but,,, if you think about the fact that they’re both putting on this act,,, this performance of idealised versions of themselves,,, you can see that they are The Same. They Are Both Gay Repressed Loser Aliens Who Try To Act Like Things That They Aren’t!

Imagine you’re Odo.

Imagine that you’re Nothing, because you’re not like anything anyone has ever seen- and because you are Nothing you don’t fall in love with anyone for years and years. since who could love something that isn’t like them at all?

But then one day this Thing shows up in your path and you just hate it. Because it’s not like anything *you* have ever seen. It’s disorderly and looks grotesque and it’s criminal to boot.

It’s all the things you learned would make a “Bad Person” It’s everything you aspire not to be, because if you were any of those things you would BE PUNISHED.

But the trouble is, eventually he’s not an “it” anymore, he’s “Quark” and you see him every day of your miserable little life because you live on the same damn station in space and it’s hard to avoid each other.

He also happens to be one of the only things in your life that are constant. He will never leave because he is stubborn and greedy and you just *hate him so much* that you’re convinced he must be doing all of it to spite you. And yet you also can’t seem to leave him alone.

So Odo Must Hate Quark. everything else is a non sequitur for him. he can’t not hate Quark.

because Quark is, and i’m sincerely sorry to apply christian fucking imagery to this, The Forbidden Fruit.

If he liked quark he’d admit some kind of moral failing. it would be the end of his act. but on the other hand...it might be a good thing, because at least he could have quark.

but Odo can never go through with biting into this apple because the consequences are horrifying to him. he could never have quark because, according to his performance, he would Never like quark to begin with.

and here’s a take for you: Odo's Brand Of Internalised Homophobia Doesn't Stem From Heteronormativity. It Stems From The Fact That He Was Kind Of Assigned Asexual At Birth.

and the show sort of alludes to this, for real! not just subtext! canon! except the writers used the wrong person.

because instead of Odo having these Forbidden Feelings for Quark he has them for,,, Kira.

but since this is My Quodo Manifesto you’ll understand that i am 100% willing to just toss that part of canon out the airlock.

so Odo does canonically have that mindset of “no one could ever love me” for decades he repressed any and all feelings of love to avoid getting hurt. in the show he breaks this cycle of repression when he takes a chance and enters a relationship with Kira. yay?

but we all know that aint it chief. and part of the reason why That Ship Ain’t It is the fact that Quark is Right There. and he is simply the more interesting choice for odo.

he and Odo literally share the same problem and have weird intertwined character arcs! they are both dreadfully afraid of not conforming to the ideal versions of themselves, so they reject everything that could challenge their Performance!

on some fucked up level they hate each other *and* themselves individually. and this hatred makes them reject parts of their real identities for the sake of protecting their image. which. yknow. in gay people. is internalised homophobia!

so you can see that they’re both repressing A Lot even if you view them as Friends, but the most important thing in this kind of romantic dynamic is usually,,, when the characters *stop* repressing.

and the thing is. the thing that Kills Me with these two. They Never Get That Moment. Thats Why You Need The Brainrot To See Them As Romantic.

The Ascent gives us an example of what happens when they both take their act too far. I mean, who could forget “Fascist!” and “Fraud!” That is what odo thinks of quark’s performance and vice versa, but we don’t really hear them adress the fact that they *are* playing these roles to a ridiculous extent.

We also never get an example of what would happen if they dropped their act instead of over-performing it. or rather we don’t get to see both of them drop it.

And the reason why we never get that moment is because there’s this one key difference between Quark and Odo.

Quark knows that he’s constantly repressing his true nature and his feelings for odo. We pretty much hear him say so in the iconic root beer scene in Way Of The Warrior. he knows that he’s not a good ferengi but he keeps up his act.

So quark is aware enough to feel that sweet sweet self loathing. But Odo isnt self loathing as much as he is just self sabotaging.

and this subtle difference between them is why, at the very end of the show, we get “That man loves me, can’t you see? It was written all over his back!”

this moment is quark dropping his act and asking odo to do the same. he wants to hear a genuine Goodbye from him because they have known each other for Decades and they are Friends. but odo is so unable to express the feelings he’s been repressing all these years. that he self sabotages again and just walks away.

even though this is like. very anticlimactic. considering I just spent 2000 words talking about how Odo and Quark are Most Certainly Gay For Each Other.

The fact that their ending is so Weird is the reason why quodo is so engaging and appealing to me? especially post-canon quodo.

like, the amount of “what if’s” this ship has are Astounding.

What if either of them had dropped their act a little sooner? What if they both did, for just a moment, and it was the straw that breaks the camels back?

What if Odo comes back after a few years? What if Quark comes to get him?

What if, in that moment in the finale where Quark drops his act, Odo had returned the gesture? What if Gag-Reel Quodo Kiss.gif Real?

with the depth that I read into their relationship, those what ifs are really fun to think about.

anyway its 1 am and i’m not an english major so literary analysis is not like, my strong suit. plus most of this was written in a late night screaming session with a friend who has the exact same opinions as me. i just think aliens hot and in love. thats all.

#the SOUND of my HEAD hitting my DESK with TERMINAL VELOCITY #quodo #star trek

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communistkenobi-archive · 3 years

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hey uhhhh i really hope this doesnt bother you but youve mentioned before that you read a lot of "are you a trans guy or butch" posts and i was wondering if by chance you still had the links to them? im sorry if this makes u uncomfortable you dont have to asnwer in that case

Totally not a problem! Actually a really great resource was the r/FTM subreddit - if you keyword search “butch” or “lesbian” in that sub you’ll get a lot of helpful threads of people discussing their experiences on whether or not they’re a butch lesbian or straight trans guy, and in my experience they’re pretty chill regardless of where you fall on that question. I found the r/butchlesbians subreddit more hostile to this discussion, but there are also some good threads on there.

In trying to answer specific questions about your sexual & gender identity, what I found most helpful was asking myself “can I be happy with a woman as a lesbian? can I be happy with a woman as a man? when I have children, do I want to be their mother, or their father?” Thinking about your future goals re: your romantic partners and family and trying on different versions of yourself in that future can be helpful.

For the longest time I thought that my inability to see myself with a woman was because of internalised homophobia (and when I was much younger that was definitely part of it), but even as I became okay with gayness, that feeling didn’t go away. The only way I can envision a happy future for myself is as a man - a husband, a father, a brother, a son.

And something else too is like, it is okay to mourn that shift in identity in some ways. I took a lot of pride in being an out lesbian in academia and in my extended family, about being better & smarter & louder than the homophobic and misogynistic men who would dismiss me as an annoying bitch. What I’m grappling with now is having to set aside my (reasonable & well-founded) distrust of straight men so that I do not turn that disgust inwards, while also using the experience of living as a woman who once dated men & has been assaulted by men to inform how I treat women as a man.

I think the incredible thing about transmasculinity is that you can exemplify all the very best parts of manhood by informing that masculinity with your prior experience of being treated as a woman in society. I know how men treat women, I know how often they let women down or don’t stick up for them or belittle them for things as petty and harmless as the way they eat or what they wear. And I remember even before I started consciously questioning my gender identity, I constantly told myself that I could do & be better than that, that I was furious at men for not taking such easy and obvious opportunities to be better and being intensely jealous of them as a result, because I wanted to yell at them and tell them they didn’t deserve to be men if this was how they “did” masculinity.

I realise not all of those thoughts and feelings are like, the most politically correct or directly fit into political understandings of how society works (no one “deserves” privilege over others no matter how good they are, etc), but they are how I experienced the world trying my very hardest to be a woman.

And also - I think you can feel some or maybe even all of these things and still consider yourself a butch lesbian. This isn’t a simple question of “am I a man or a woman?”, because butch lesbians have their own complex and nuanced understanding of their gender that is often times entirely outside that binary. I know it’s been said in trans spaces many times before, but answering the question “what will make me the happiest?” often answers the other question “who and what am I?”, and I don’t think you can honestly answer the latter before answering the former. trans identity is about your happiness with yourself!

#misc.txt #questions in spaaace #barbecue dad but make it slutty #and if you wanna talk more anon I’m open!!!#long post

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deadandphilgames · 3 years

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Genuine question are you out to like everyone? If so, did you have a mental hurtle to get over? If not, do you want to some day? Lastly do you have any advice for someone struggling to justify coming out?

This got a bit long winded so ill put it under a cut 💜

im out to everyone except my family.

yes, i struggled a lot with coming out to myself and most of the people around me. i was about 7 when i learnt what being a lesbian meant because my sister would use it as an insult to me and call me a “stupid lesbian”, then my mother said that she would be “disappointed” if one of her children was gay :) so that had a lot of impact on me even to this day. the main mental hurtle was shame, i felt disgusting and wrong and broken. I would often cry about it and felt like i was worthless, and would actively try to ignore this part of myself (which didnt work). i was about 14 when i came out for the first time. and honestly, i felt worse afterwards. i came out as bi at the time because that was how i felt, i was still convinced i could be attracted to boys and just chose to marry a guy and never have to deal with it (i know thats not how being bi works but 14 year old me had a lot of internalised homophobia)

After i came out, i felt really idk wrong and gross, mainly because i now realised like this was a part of my identity that i was stuck with and i had to accept that one day i would make my mum disappointed because her daughter is gay.

once i turned 17 i had come out to most of my friends, the reason was that i had started to attempt to feel okay with being gay by making jokes, and i didnt want them thinking i was homophobic akdasjd. it still felt weird and uncomfortable coming out honestly, because i wasnt comfortable with my identity and it kinda felt rushed i guess? i felt like i needed to tell everyone i could so then i would have to feel okay with it. idk i had no logic to it i just wanted to stop feeling wrong.

i do hope to be out to my family one day and not care about their opinions but i know that wont happen soon, im just not ready for them to know and that is perfectly okay.

My advice is that coming out is overrated in a sense. its not going to magically make you feel loved and accepted, and i wish id been told that as a child so i didnt feel rushed to come out to all my friends. if you dont want to tell anyone, dont. its no ones business but your own. the closet exists for a reason: for you to feel safe. if you feel safer and happier not announcing to everyone your sexuality you dont have to.

a thing that really helped me was tumblr honestly. seeing how many people on here arent cishet made me feel less alone and it also made me stop associating the word “lesbian” with an insult (i didnt use lesbian as a term for myself until i was 20 because up until then it still felt like a bad thing that my sister used to insult me), so if you want to start feeling ready to come out, id say start small and online. you dont need to post a coming out post, you can just add your identity to your bio on tumblr and bam, youve just come out in a casual way.

you shouldnt feel pressured or feel the need to justify coming out. you can tell whoever you want whenever youre ready, theres no rush. its perfectly okay to keep it to yourself, and its equally as okay to shout it from the rooftops, you just need to do whatever feels right for you

#lmao this turned into therapy with allie #sorry this took me a bit to reply i wanted to do it properly #and i cant be bothered to proof read this so im sorry if it doesnt make sense kakjsdahsd #anonymous #asks

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doomstypewriter · 3 years

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would u do forbidden love, secret relationship moceit? i was thinking a pseudo-historical au, ideally with homophobia as the motivator for the forbidden/secret part but if u absolutely dont wanna do that janus being an outlaw would also work i suppose. just some whacky bois sneaking through windows to hang out, nearly being caught smooching, funny hijinks, then! sudden melancholy about how in love they are & never being able to show it

Finally, anon, I am done!!!! I gladly present to you the final chapter, just in time for Valentine's Day (call that timing (once you read the thing you'll get this reference)).

Hope you enjoy it, and thank you for giving me the chance to write something this cool!

<< Chapter 1 AO3

We call it an affair because it's a forbidden romance

Word count: 9376

Summary: Janus is dumb. He may be intelligent, but intelligence isn't at odds with poor foresight. So he makes a mistake that can get him killed. Romina is very gay and very angry. Patton is confused but does his best. Virginia is the only one with a functioning brain cell. Or, how a chain of misunderstandings almost ruins everything.

TW: Seemingly Unsymphathetic fem!Roman (not really, she is just feeling very hurt and angry and it is all resolved eventually), mild transphobia, mentions of blood, mentions of violence (there is a sword fight), mild misogyny, internalised misogyny, internalised homophobia, homophobia, mild threats of violence (again, the sword fight), swearing... I think that's all, but if you spot anything else tell me.

Chapter 2: The rest of their lives

The light raised above the darkness and it was morning again. In two days time, Patton would be meeting the countess, just so he could start properly courting her, not because his father wanted to get a title and land for his son. To suggest such a thing would be ridiculous. Scandalous even!

Reputation ruining…

Janus got up from his cot, unfit for the heavy silks that covered it, some stolen, some gifted by Patton. He looked at the things surrounding him. His house wasn’t so bad. It was in fact bigger than the places inhabited by most peasants, and a palace compared to the things in which people like him had to sleep… the things where he had had to lay in. The house consisted of one room, like most, but the size made up for the lack of divisions.

This was a cave reimagined as a home. The walls had been lined with timber and thoroughly coated with stucco, the curving grooves of its application were not that noticeable, Janus was not a professional but he had certainly done his best. Aside from the absence of windows, it didn’t resemble a cave. There was a section of rock he had left uncovered at the very back, where water seeped out of the wall and provided him with a steady source of the thing. He would prefer not drinking watered-down stucco.

He began to get dressed. All of his clothing was stored within a small but beautifully carved cupboard he had stolen from a manor in Bohemia. He had plenty of garments from here and there, five outfits in total! Stolen as well.

In the house, what he hadn’t crafted himself he had stolen. Perfume bottles from France, boots and gold from the Kingdom of Aragon, a stiletto and a medium-sized silver mirror from the Republic of Venice… he even had two tapestries.

But, even then, it was nothing compared to Villa Morandi. He surrounded himself with opulence to quench his thirst for wealth, the easy life of those above. His home was an illusion, a taste of richness, in which a poor man could pretend. This was not a place where Patton could live, let alone want to.

If he was to spread rumours, then what? A plan of keeping Patton to himself would not succeed and his lover’s life would be as good as done.

After packing his fanciest clothes and putting on the ones he used for travelling, he set to leave. He carried his stiletto, a grappling hook and a sword, all three perfectly hidden under his cape.

Using a hidden pulley system, Janus moved the boulder that hid the entrance to the cave, returning it to its place afterwards. No one would find his home no matter how long he left.

The path down the slope of the mountain twisted and turned. Janus was in no disposition to waste time, so he went across the forest. Half-lost in the trees lay the cabin of a woodsman’s family. A while ago, Janus had left them a steed along with one florin. The family cared for the horse, not knowing exactly what to do. As the horse appeared and disappeared, bringing them thirty soldi each time, they began to get the gist. Upon reaching the cabin, he headed for a well-built timber shed where his horse waited, fed and rested.

He left thirty soldi on a small stool at the corner of the shed, mounted his horse, and galloped away.

The Regio county manor was two days away by horse.

Patton left yesterday, as his carriage would take longer to get there, stops and all, than one man on horseback.

Janus paused at the base of the mountain. With one whistle his hawk surfaced from the sea of trees to land on his forearm-length glove.

“You are to find Signor Morandi’s and Patton’s carriage. Follow them without drawing attention to yourself, find me and report to me at dusk. If anything urgent were to happen, come to my side immediately”.

-------------------------

His room at the inn felt quiet despite the muffled sounds from down below, where people chanted and told stories.

The cool breeze wouldn’t be half-unpleasant if he wasn’t leaning on the ledge of a wide-open window. I also didn’t help that he was in his underwear. Father would certainly scold him for letting himself be seen in his linen undershirt. Some may think he was waiting for some disreputable company.

It was more hoping than waiting. Also, Janus couldn’t possibly be disreputable. Out of costume, he had no reputation whatsoever. He liked to keep it that way. His real identity had no friend nor foe, in that he found safety. It had been hard to trust each other. Believe a criminal could be good. Let the son of a merchant become a friend, form an opinion of Janus, the original one. A part of him felt so proud, to see him grow, believe him, love him… another part found it sad for people to miss on such a wonderful person.

Nights like this made him nostalgic. The first floors had tallow candles cast their diffuse glow onto the streets. Cobblestones seemed softened by the warm tint. Darkness rendered malleable to the light. It all made him miss Janus even more.

The touch of his palm, holding the weight of his lazy head, a poor substitute to Janus’ hand.

On such a night they had met. How scared he had been! A bit angry too… captivated as well, even if he couldn’t admit it to himself at the time.

Patton smiled in contemplation.

He had spotted him right there, sitting out of the adjacent window, ready to jump and make a run for it.

“Stop! You will get hurt, good sir!” at first he did not realise the true nature of what was happening.

To think Janus could be harmed by jumping off a window! He knew better now. Balconies were his true weakness. Thankfully, the only balconies he climbed now were his.

“Oh, I’ll stop at once. Care to join?” Janus said as he pulled a stiletto out of his cape.

“You are stealing!”

“I would never!” he feigned indignation.

“Then what is it that you are doing, good sir?”

Oh, Patton could still hear the laugh that had followed, velvety and insincere. It brought a chill up his spine.

“Stealing, of course”.

“That is vile!”

“Is it? You’re all allowed to provide for yourselves by buying fabrics and goods created by others. Am I not doing as you do? Are merchants not thieves? How can you tell a vile man from another? What do you know of this world, dear?”

“Well… I... I know for certain that the woman in that room, the one you are stealing from, sir, is not wealthy. She may look the part, but that is thanks to heirlooms. Her family has been impoverished for two generations”.

“Does it make you virtuous to spread the secrets of others? Isn’t gossip frowned upon by those of…” he lifted his gold rosary from under his shirtfront with the tip of his blade “your inclination”.

“I am merely explaining so you may be persuaded to accept my gold in exchange for returning her possessions”.

“Why shouldn’t I just take your gold and keep her stuff too?”

“We may be allowed to provide for ourselves in ways others may view as vile, but should we condemn those who cannot on the account of not wanting to express vileness or having no means to? I do not mean to intrude, sir, but the thoughts behind your words betray your stance in this dilemma. You shall find more satisfaction in stealing what you believe was already stolen. A poor woman is not worth your pride, nor ridding you of the chance to make me lose mine”.

Janus frowned as if he didn't expect him to say something like that. Later he would confess to him that what shocked him was hearing him say something smart. It keeps on surprising him whenever he does.

"Quick, hand me your gold and I might consider it".

"No, sir, I expect you to leave what you have taken first".

He did try to hide his eagerness. But, how his cape rustled, once inside, betrayed him. What kind of thief was so noisy? He thought to himself. Once they had built trust, Janus explained that he had been quite shaken up by his offering. He neglected to mention the reason why. Patton imagined it was because he found his disposition to put himself in harm’s way for others ridiculous.

The thief’s half-concealed face emerged from the window.

"Will three florin do?" Patton asked, pulling his coin bag.

Janus looked at the rich embroidered fabric almost in awe. If only, for a second.

“I suppose…”

“Well, then, there you go, sir”.

His hands pried the bag open, ready to pull the golden coins.

“Hmm…”

“What is the matter?”

“I could always just go back and get all the stuff”.

“Is it not enough for you?” he showed him the three pieces of gold in his open palm.

It was as if he could almost feel him licking his lips. The part of him, dark, often chastised, made him shake and quiver. His knees felt weak, somehow. This hunger in the thief’s eyes, almost akin to wonder, at the sight of gold, as if he had never seen so much before, it made him want to… dear Lord, no!

“To put such a price on mending the error of my ways” he laughed, staring right through him with those green eyes. Patton’s knees threatened to buckle for real. “It isn’t very much, now, is it?” he leaned forward, and if Patton leaned as well maybe he could… what? Fall from this height for a pretty thief?

“What do you want, then?”

That had been a first for Janus, Patton was certain. He didn’t quite get his reaction, but, picturing it again some days later he figured the thief was taken aback.

“Uh… tha-that fancy coin bag of yours will do. Consider me a gentleman, I wouldn’t want to fleece you completely, the first time”.

“Oh, I’m sure”.

“Ha”, Janus stared at him in disbelief.

Patton felt mortified.

“I-I mean…”

“Are you always this eloquent or is it just poor skill when it comes to existing?” the sentence did not sound as condescending as it should have, more like borderline flirtatious.

Words would not come to him.

“The coin bag, please”.

His arm moved on his own, careful to avoid touch. It would be a bad idea to give this man a chance to tip him over the ledge. For a moment, he hesitated. This bag had been gifted to him by his father, he had two made for the two of them. It was two of a kind. But… the woman next door’s wellbeing was far more valuable than any piece of fabric. No matter how treasured.

Janus dangled the bag from his pointer finger, right next to his face. Side-eying his price, he spoke again:

“Looks like the virtuous are also the most stupid”.

The thief readied himself to jump. Patton knew he had to say something, because, this moment, it told him he would regret it if he didn’t.

“It is not about virtue, but goodness”.

For a moment he thought he had heard him stop breathing. Then, he jumped. Patton jumped in his place as well. He couldn’t help but bring his entire torso out of the window.

There he was! Running. He had made no noise in his landing.

Just when he was about to disappear into the shadows, this weird new acquaintance looked at him one last time.

Back then, Janus vanished for a while. Patton had come to learn that he would always return one way or another.

Like now.

A shadow moved, carefully, on the roof tiles at the other side of the street. Patton whistled, trying not to be too loud, not that anyone below would hear him. Knowing it had been spotted, the shadow flew to his side.

“Hello, big guy”.

After a rustle of feathers, the hawk landed at his left.

“Why the grumpy face?” Patton laughed. “I know it’s just your brow feathers. You’re so handsome” he caressed the top of the bird’s head with one finger.

“He sent you all the way here. You must be tired. I don’t have any food for you here, but I’m sure I can get you something to drink”.

Patton poured some water into a basin and carried it to the window, he placed it on the floor.

“There, it’s supposed to be used to wash your face… I guess you can do that too if you want”.

The hawk flew inside and drank it all dry.

“You ought to tell Janus”, he began saying as he bent his knees, “to stop worrying so much. I am okay. I know he is concerned, but it will all be fine. Also, when you get home, ask him when is he going to let me visit, I’d love to go”.

-------------------------

The carriage clattered over the stone pathway. Inside, the curtains were drawn, but a pang of curiosity made it so Patton moved them, ever-so-slightly, aside to take a discrete look.

Big was an understatement when one tried to describe the Regio manor. It was a three-storey building comprised of a first floor with a rusticated facade that had four small windows on each side, the centre being interrupted by a wide mason staircase presided by a classic structure of pilasters, then followed by an entablature and a pediment with the most ornate of tympanums. He imagined the staircase lead to the primo piano nobile. To both sides of the main entrance were two sets of four architrave windows built in perfect symmetry. Above it all, was the third floor, which mostly mirrored the second, but had a total of ten slightly smaller windows, as there wasn’t another central element to interrupt their flow.

If this marriage agreement moved forward, one day, this would be technically his. It will be his wife’s, but, as spouses, they are supposed to share it all. Villa Morandi will be hers as well, it was only fair.

A part of him felt bad for not having had the chance to keep contact with Lady Romina Regio previous to now. How was one supposed to feel when they get no say in who they marry? Father, at least, had asked him. Yes, he risked disappointing him, but, ultimately, the choice was his. Will this woman, on the account of her status, be allowed such a choice? He feared her parents were the only people who would decide. Father too. Does she even want the father of her fiancé to take this from her? Is it right to deceive themselves like this, to have God bind them when no love is to arise from this union? Is a potential friendship worthy of the sacrament of matrimony?

Patton knew two things with certainty: he wanted to be a good friend to Lady Romina Regio and he could not sacrifice his feelings for Janus to achieve it.

They were guided inside by Virginia Fusco, Lady Romina Regio’s personal servant.

The entrance consisted of a corridor, divided into three naves, by two rows of ionic columns made of rose gold marble. Above that, there was a straight ceiling with five rows of twelve coffers, all richly painted with floral and geometric motifs. His boots looked cheap in comparison to the flooring they walked on. Big and polished terracotta tiles in a diamond pattern covered the ground, the corners were clipped to accommodate small white marble accents.

Once they passed the entrance, this father was led upstairs by another servant, while Virginia instructed him to accompany her elsewhere.

“I am glad you arrived here safely after leaving Villa Morandi. Has everything been well?”

She stilled for a moment.

“Uuh… thank you for the kind concern, sir. Things in the house have been… busy due to the news of your engagement to her ladyship” she began walking again.

“I was asking about you”.

“Pardon?”

“When I asked, before, I wanted to know if you have been doing well. It must be stressful to be sent back and forth between the palazzo and Villa Morandi during the last weeks, especially being a personal maid to her ladyship, it is uncommon for someone like you to be used as a messenger”.

“I shall do anything her ladyship requires. Any task”.

“Oh! Sorry! I did not intend to say you would not”, Patton stopped dead in his tracks.

Virginia turned around and stared at him in confusion.

“I… when you first arrived I did not expect her ladyship’s personal servant to be at my home. Her ladyship’s maid is supposed to stay with her, so I thought something bad might have happened… The trip in between is not too long but done enough times it can prove to be energy-consuming”.

Patton was met with even more confusion from Virginia, so he kept babbling in hopes of fixing his mistake. “Not that you would not be willing to put up with it for her ladyship, I am sure. I did also not mean to assume anything, that is why I asked in the first place, I only meant it kindly…”

“Sir, it is alright”, she began saying.

If Patton had not been as worked up with the conversation as he was he may have detected the slightest hint of amusement coming from Virginia.

“Her ladyship is--”

“Oh! Oh, that too! I did not mean to not inquire about her ladyship’s wellbeing, part of me dared to hope I could meet her today and ask her in person…”

“Sir, please, follow me. I am afraid we cannot keep the person I am taking you to waiting, you see, her ladyship finds it upsetting”.

Patton laughed.

It caught Virginia off guard. People were not supposed to behave so… openly within these walls. At least she wasn’t used to it.

“You must excuse this man’s oblivious nature, I should have realised where you were taking me earlier”.

“Sir, I am undeserving of your apologies. But, if we keep stalling, her ladyship will require one”.

“Of course, lead the way”.

-------------------------

His horse reached the palazzo just in time to see the Morandi’s carriage passing by.

Unlike his dear Patton, he did not have an invitation. Sneaking past the guards, an easy task if you asked him, had to suffice.

The place was huge, it was to be expected from such a family. Janus couldn’t care less for the grandeur, not when he couldn’t get his hands on it, and that wasn’t the reason why he had come there.

It would seem the Regio had it going on. The palazzo was relatively new, built, at most, fifty years ago. If you checked the list, all of the items relating to appearance did justice to the status of the family. Looking closely though…

There were only two boys and an old man tending to the gardens. Gardens as big as everything else, mind you. So, clearly, they were understaffed. Which was precisely why Janus had been able to hide between a set of unkempt bushes to change into today’s costume. As long as he managed to avoid getting any leaves of brunches stuck, it would all be fine.

Back to the Regio, though. If one was as much of an expert at judging other people’s wealth as Janus was, save that one time with a woman at an inn, it became obvious that the counts were missing on the money. Firstly, the manor had been built recently, but most certainly not after the war. Secondly, the guards were as many as one would expect, but not as… on guard -curse Patton’s sense of humour- as they should. This just told him they weren’t being paid that much. Then was the matter of understaffing.

And, of course, Patton’s presence here.

Janus had not forgotten Signor Morandi’s words. Patton could only afford to marry a countess because the Regio could not afford anyone less wealthy.

The clothes were on and he was inside the house.

Why did these people never put any sort of vigilance at the servant’s entrances? It never occurred to them that even if people wouldn’t steal their laundry, perhaps they would get in with the laundry. Pathetic.

It made his life easier, though.

He was in.

He was in and he was going to… what?

For starters try to find any dirt on Patton’s dear future wife. Maybe any belongings that could give him some leverage. Just to be safe.

Janus knew Patton would keep his word, even if it destroyed him, and it would. Nobles always wanted offspring. Janus just wasn’t sure if Patton would be up for the task when someone did not have his pretty eyes and his masculine figure.

Causing troubles for his beloved was the last thing he wanted. But, if it came to it, Janus would do anything. Whether that meant creating accidents, blackmailing or appointing a convenient kidnapping during a wedding night.

He went up the servant’s stairs and reached a second-floor gallery, open to the courtyard below.

Just when he was about to leave, his ears caught some hushed shouting coming from above.

-------------------------

“How could she do this to me!?”

Romina stormed the third-floor corridor, without any bearing nor destination.

“Your ladyship, please, we must go back!” Virginia ran behind her, speaking between her teeth.

“Did you see him, Virg?”

“Yes, I did, your ladyship”.

“I-- this is outrageous!”

“I beg you, can we not have this conversation here, your ladyship?”

Despite Virginia kindly pointing out that the third-floor gallery was hardly an appropriate location for such or any kind of discussion, Romina did not heed her request.

“I was going to become a princess! And because of this, I am deprived of royalty! Because my sister fancies herself a man!”

“For the love of…, you know what, no. I am tired of this. She dresses like a man, she talks like a man, she looks like a man and she feels like one. In which way is she, no, he, not a man?”

Romina grimaced at her own words. Still, she was far too angry to let go of her resentment.

“In the fact that he has no honour. He lied to me, several times. First by promising we’ll stay together. Then he did not care to tell me I had a brother, didn’t even trust me for that, and now he has abandoned me. And what for? He saw that pretty ‘scientist’ or whatever he calls himself and decided to follow him to the end of the world. How come he gets to be a pirate when I have to become a wife?!”

“Romina, please, shut your big mouth before anyone overhears us” Virginia warned.

“So now I must be quiet!”

“Yes! For your sake, you dumbass”.

“Well, I will not be quiet, you… you sonnetist of elegies!”

“That’s not even a--” Virginia placed her hand on the bridge of her nose.

As if to make her point clearer, Romina kept walking into the gallery.

“I don’t care! You know why? Because now I have to replace him in a destiny none of us wanted, but at least he had been prepared for! What am I going to do?”

“How about you begin by coming back--”

“He leaves me like this, to be mocked and compared to him,--”

“Oh Lord, why do I even bother--”

“--who ran away. How could he be so selfish!? Let me ask you this instead, how can a man surrender his word and his honour so readily?”

Then, Virginia stilled completely.

She didn’t know whether she felt angry or deeply saddened.

“What wouldn’t any of us do to seize the freedom that we have forever been denied? And, who wouldn’t cast away honour to be free and loved? Can’t you identify with that, or are you a liar too?”

“I…”

“Is it Remus who you’re angry at?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think. I am still going to have to get married to some random person--!”

“Oh, shut up! At least he’s nice! Do you know what he did when he met me? Because he came to personally receive me, you see. He asked for my name! Not only that, but he remembers it. Just when I was taking him to see you, he asked me how had I been! Have you any idea how many people do that? You are so privileged you cannot get your head out of your stuck-up ass, Princess. Nobody ever cares how people like me are doing!”

“Oh, so that is what this is about! Well, sorry I can’t pepper you with attention every waking moment, love--”

“Fuck off, I already know that, stop making this about you!”

“But it is about me!”

“You’re so lucky you get to marry a kind man! Any other person would just use his status to be a self-righteous narcissistic asshole, yes, Princess, like you, but not young Signor Morandi so quit mopping!”

“Well, if you like him so much, then why don’t you marry him instead?!”

Her hands gripped her apron tightly. Virginia could not bear her gaze at the moment. She bit her lip as if that could help her to cope with the backlash at the sheer stupidity of Romina’s words.

“I am sorry”.

“You… at least you’re… hmm…” she took a deep breath. In part to give herself time to consider what to say carefully, but, also, to calm down. “Male-inclined. I… your ladyship, if I did not serve you I fear I would only be any good left in a nunnery. You must understand, if I could choose who to marry, well, kind and considerate is not much of my type, as you must be aware. Neither is Signor Morandi”.

“If…”

Romina returned to her side.

Her hands, littered with all sorts of rings, made Virginia’s hands give up on holding the apron. The labour-stained pair were squeezed safely.

“Please, please look at me”.

The request made Virginia want to refuse. But, aside from her position, these were the kind of situations in which Virginia could not deny Romina.

“If I could choose who to marry, it would be one who would make me a princess, not on the account of status, but with word… if you know what I mean”.

Virginia rolled her eyes.

“The only one that dense here is you”.

“The mouth on you. I am going to have to keep you by my side”, she paused for a second and then whispered, “my love”.

Her gaze was most intense upon hearing that. The pair of dark brown eyes opening in a way that could be described as feline.

“No nunnery could be at your level when it comes to sarcasm and bossing other women around. I, at the very least, can hold my ground for longer until you get me to do your bid--”

Finally, Romina was quiet.

Virginia gripped her shoulders, squeezing the puffs of her dress’ sleeves, with the tips of her fingers touching against the golden netting that covered Romina’s chest. It was as if she was trying to drink the life out of those lips. Her very being was buzzing with want and anger.

The bejewelled woman became pliant, yet passionate, under the touch. Bravery, whenever it surfaced in Virginia, was something to behold. Even more of a thing to experience.

“Fuck” Virginia covered her mouth with her hands as she abruptly parted.

“Likewise. Oh, I feel dizzy” she smiled.

“No, not that way. I… shit… I just did...that! And here!”

“Now, now”, Romina grasped her hands.

She caressed the base of Virginia’s thumbs with a devoted look.

“Ro…”

“No reason to panic, my nightly gale”.

“Well, I wouldn’t be so sure about that” a voice came from the other side of the gallery.

-------------------------

The room was quiet.

No.

The room was completely silent and Patton had no idea what had gone wrong. He never intended to say something that could harm anyone’s sensitivities. It just never occurred to him that someone could be offended by a pun about the weather.

This first attempt at friendship had not been… great.

His father would certainly laugh at Lady Romina Regio’s decision to storm out of the room upon hearing a silly joke. He would make nothing of it. He’d say womanly outbursts were to be expected. Darn it, most people would say so.

Ignoring it would be simple.

Patton could not ignore it.

Firstly, it became clear to him that her ladyship had no say in her marrying him. Not only that, but she might feel strongly against it. Secondly, and most important, he intended to build a friendship with her.

Considering the circumstances, the best he could do would be to find her and speak from the heart. If he explained to her that he meant no ill by making a joke, or to be insensitive by indulging in frivolities in the face of such a serious matter as their first meeting, she might feel better. And, if she still refused him, he could offer to call the entire thing off.

Except that would be a terrible idea. Her family needed the money and going back on his choice would make her chances even more difficult. But, maybe, she wanted that. Her reaction pointed to it. Father would be very disappointed, the last thing Patton wanted was to be a bad son. But wasn’t it worse to force a woman into a marriage? Also, Janus. He’d be free to remain with him for longer.

What was he going to do? He didn’t know what the right answer to this was.

Talking to her. Patton could start by doing that, but first, he needed to find her.

-------------------------

This wasn’t the kind of dirt he had expected to find, but only a moron would look a gift horse in the mouth right now.

The servant girl’s passion came out of nowhere. He almost wanted to take notes.

“No reason to panic, my nightly gale”, said the countess, still entranced at the sight of her maid’s hands.

She had just given him his cue, so Janus could not help but oblige.

“Well, I wouldn’t be so sure about that”, he said leaving his hiding spot.

Instantly, they turned to look at him. The countess let go of the other’s hands in a jolt. Her demeanour changed in a second. So, not only was she a countess, but also a terrific actress.

“Oh! Good day sir! Are you, by any chance, lost? My servant can…” she looked at the aforementioned.

Her maid was having none of it. She eyed him suspiciously, ignoring how her mistress’ body language asked her to calm down.

“Were you coming to see his lordship? I am afraid he is busy at the moment”.

“Oh, well yes. I was sent by Marquess Sanders to inquire about a series of matters relating to war expenses” he said as he took off his cape.

By revealing his outfit he hoped to gain some credibility. Looking rich always got people off your back. Especially when you carried a sword.

The countess’ eyes lit up in recognition of his dusack. Dusacks were one of the main weapons sent by Marquess Sanders during the war, this one so happened to also have the family crest attached to the scabbard.

Normally, he would have covered it to avoid getting Thomas into trouble.

“Well, in that case--” Romina began to say.

“Excuse me, sir, but I am sure her ladyship would first like to see the letters that his lordship always has his people carry”.

“Is your maid often allowed to talk over you, your ladyship?”

“I...uh…” Romina looked at her maid for help.

“Well, that is to be expected, as she is allowed to do much more than that, is she not?”

The maid squinted at him.

“Oh, that thing? It was a… a token of friendship!” the countess proudly proclaimed.

While she may be a fantastic actress, she surely was a terrible liar. The maid scoffed in the way Janus could not, whether it was due to hearing her lover say something that ridiculous or because of the awful lie he could not tell.

“If that is how I treated all my friends I am certain my lovers would be confused”.

Both women caught their breaths.

“I would, of course, not be so indiscreet as to say anything, for a price, that is”.

“What is it that you want?”

“I’ve heard you are soon to be married--”

The maid looked at him even more intensely, and then…

“Your ladyship, this man is deceiving you”.

“Yeah, I can tell, we were just discussing--”

“You dense ass, not now, all the time! His money bag over there, it’s Signor Morandi’s!”

Oh, fuck.

Well, it couldn’t be helped.

Janus unsheathed his sword and pointed it to the maid’s neck.

“I suggest we keep this matter quiet, or else I’ll have to keep it quiet forever”.

-------------------------

Patton’s efforts to find Lady Romina Regio or her servant, Virginia, had not been successful so far. He had explored the main areas of the house, now finding himself at the first-floor courtyard.

The smells coming from the kitchen, where the staff worked in their earnest to prepare tonight’s dinner, danced in the air. Patton sat at a stone bench, wondering what else he could do. His only chance would be waiting until both families dined together. He’d wish to apologise to her ladyship before that, so they could indulge in the dishes without any looming over.

Then, the faint sound of a voice coming from above called his attention.

It was barely hearable due to the clankings of nearby cooking. But there was no way he wouldn’t recognise it.

“I would... be so indiscreet … price...” Patton could make out.

Indeed, it was Janus’ voice. If that and the words ‘indiscreet’ and ‘price’ were anything to go by, he was blackmailing someone.

Her ladyship was nowhere to be found and Janus was being Janus nearby. It didn’t take too much to put two and two together.

Patton moved around the courtyard while staring upwards.

There they were! He only had to find a way to…

Oh no.

Janus was pointing his sword to Virginia’s neck.

Before Patton could realise what he was doing, his feet were already running upstairs.

-------------------------

This would have been a great time for both of them to bail, hadn’t a sword been pointed at her. But, that's life. Some days you wake up next to your lover in her chambers with a deep feeling of dread over, well, everything; other days you are about to get basically beheaded, what can you do.

For starters, Virginia was going to fight, because she didn’t feel particularly inspired to think at the moment.

“Please, do not hurt her, I beg you”, Romina said.

Wonderful. Virginia was either about to get hurt or be very lucky on her own accord.

She quickly leaned back and ducked, taking advantage of the man’s attention being redirected at Romina’s plea.

Definitely, she was getting hurt, not lucky, as the sword fell down on her with a swift swoop.

That was it.

Then, Romina pulled another sword from the pocket opening of her dress, crossing blades with the thief, but, most importantly, saving her life. She was going to be really cocky about it, if they made it out in one piece.

“Well, this was a lovely surprise”, the thief said as Romina and he circled each other, edges sliding in a sharp sound, “but if you don’t give it up, you’ll end up maimed and, after that, let’s say… your maid may take a nudge downstairs”.

Romina slid the sword away and twirled it back to strike. The thief had enough reflexes to put his dusack across his face before it got cut in half.

A strong clank echoed all over the gallery and the courtyard below.

“You foul fiend! You may be brave enough to threaten me, but your overconfidence in thinking you can get away--” she struck again, “with endangering her--” Romina turned them, making it so Virginia was behind her, as if to underline her words, “shall be your downfall”.

“Thank you for enlightening me, your highness” the thief began to say.

He overpowered Romina by twisting their swords. She collided against Virginia’s chest after the villain shoved her away.

“This has, clearly, proved how friendly you are. By all means, tell me, are you also willing to die for all of your friends?”

His next move was more successful now that he had gained more range of attack. The thief plunged forward in a piercing motion. Romina stopped it with a backhanded sweep, then turned on herself, making it so his blade pointed to the ground.

“I would die for her, any day”.

Virginia did not have the right to feel as flustered as she did, not when they were in mortal danger. Somehow, Romina’s best romantic lines happened whenever she did not speak them directly to her. Seeing her look that fierce when fighting may also factor into it. Why did Princess always have to be so intense?

“Is this a confession? Scandalous!”

“It is a promise”.

There was a delicate balance between each other for a moment. Their eyes locked in a stare.

It was so strange, Virginia thought. This man keeps on threatening them, but he hesitates. What was holding him back? Also, why steal a coin bag when you plan on blackmailing someone? Yes, it had to be planned, otherwise, the marquess lie made no sense, too much preparation involved for that to be a coincidence. Could he actually be sent by the marquess? But, why? The Regio and the marquess had had a wonderful relationship over the years.

Something didn’t fit.

The thief moved ever so slightly. Romina, clearly, wasn’t taking any chances.

In a display of quick reflexes, she side-kicked him on the chest, making him stumble backwards.

While the thief struggled to regain his footing, Romina sliced through the cord keeping Signor Morandi’s coin bag attached to his waist. She smiled playfully.

“For someone so smug, you are surely a clumsy opponent”.

“I’ll give you clumsy” he replied stepping forward and thrusting with the sword.

Romina blocked his attack effortlessly, but, soon, Virginia realised that wasn’t the thief’s intention. His right foot was just in front of the bag, ready to move it towards him like a hook.

“Ro, the bag!” Virginia warned.

She looked down and smirked.

“This the price of greed”, Romina mocked as her sword turned to strike the thief’s right leg.

The dusack crossed blades, again, with Romina’s before it could do any damage.

“Your willingness to lose a leg over some gold only proves the worth of your lot”.

He leaned closer to Romina, looking at her in the eye as he twisted their swords to get the upper hand.

“You know nothing about me or what I stand for”, he said in a deep and menacing voice.

Romina laughed in between her teeth.

“I may not, but I know one thing”.

“Oh, and what is that?”

“You just got distracted”.

Romina’s foot slipped past the thief’s, kicking the coin bag away from him. He ran to his left while blocking Romina’s attacks at his right.

What was so special about a coin bag anyway?

-------------------------

Patton began to hear sword fighting noises just before he reached the entrance to the stairs.

What was Janus thinking? Engaging in a face-off with Lady Romina Regio, who not only was a countess with an apparent disdain for weather puns but also a remarkable swordswoman, had to be one of his worst ideas to date.

While he had faith in Janus’ skills, he also knew that her ladyship’s fencing instructor had been fired, as a lesson, after she stabbed a man on the shoulder during a ‘casual’ duel.

-------------------------

The coin bag was kicked and pushed from one place to another by the thief and Romina while they dodged attacks.

“Is it the gold you are fighting for or is it your pride, villain?” she said, smirk reflecting on her blade.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to project your desires onto others? So honourable protecting her frail maiden!”, he pushed forward. “Still… it would almost seem, not because of the self-indulging banter, that you only duel to flatter yourself”.

“The one who is so set in getting a stolen coin bag dares to lecture me on selfishness!”

Romina used her weight to stop him from making her retrocede any further. Her grin widened, satisfied in this victory.

“Takes one egoist to know one”.

Right then, the thief made a sudden move.

“Romina!” Virginia exclaimed.

“I’m fine!” she said, wiping the bleeding cut on her jaw.

The thief looked at the prized coin bag that he now held in his hand.

“Loved beating you, but I think I will take my lea--”

He was interrupted by Romina’s scream. Her sword wooshed several times in front of his face, barely leaving him time to bend backwards to avoid it. The dusack clancked against the floor.

“Shit” the thief cursed.

Things looked dire for the thief. With his sword out of reach, there was little he could do. Romina’s sword flashed by one more time, slashing through his left upper arm. Despite the painful burn of the cut, his left hand did not let go of the coin bag. Nevertheless, he fell on his knee, clutching the wound with his free hand.

“I will make you an offering, villain”, Romina pointed at him with the sword, gloating over his tilted gaze. “Return Signor Morandi’s coin bag to me, and I shall let you go”.

“Your ladyship, kindly get stabbed in the chest”.

She turned his back on him, twirling her sword while at it.

“As you wish”.

Time froze before Romina could even think about delivering the killing blow.

Virginia saw the thief reach for his boot, pulling out a stiletto. He stood up and positioned his knife pointing upwards. Because of this, Virginia panicked, already imagining the tip breaking through Romina’s lower back and into her chest.

Immediately, she ran in front of the thief, head empty of thoughts, only consuming fear. At the same time, the thief began a descending motion, making Virginia realise where he aimed for.

‘He’s going for her leg!’, Virginia thought.

This would not help. When they crossed, the thief’s knife was at the height of Virginia’s gut.

Virginia looked at him in terror.

The thief looked at Virginia in panic.

The fabrics of Romina’s dress could be heard twisting in the air, as she turned around, only to see the back of Virginia’s head.

“No!” Romina cried.

In yet another display of quick reflexes, the thief let go of the stiletto, just before it could do any damage.

Romina only heard the blade fall as she shoved Virginia aside.

She punched him on the left cheek, leaving the outline of her rings imprinted on his skin, red and slowly swelling.

The thief’s boots staggered backwards.

He fell face up in the middle of the gallery corridor.

Faster than ever, Romina’s sword moved and settled its tip at the base of the thief’s neck, sort of mirroring how he had threatened Virginia.

Virginia brazed herself against the wall. Her breathing heaved like the bellows trying to get the fire back up. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw young Signor Morandi emerging from the path that connected to one of the third-floor staircases.

“Please, do not hurt him, I beg you”, he said while catching his breath.

Romina looked upwards to stare at him.

“What is the meaning of this?! Do you know this man? Did you send him?!”

Sometimes, Romina could outmatch Virginia when it came to reaching conclusions. This just so happened to be the worst possible moment.

“I--”

Only Virginia saw how the eyes of the thief went wide at hearing young Signor Morandi’s voice, his frown when Romina accused him.

“Look at me!” the thief shouted.

“Trying to protect your master, villain?”

“That is not quite… this is a complete misunderstanding, if we talked--” young Signor Morandi began to say.

“Shut up!” both Romina and the thief replied in unison.

“Stop talking nonsense, your highness”.

“Oh, so it is nonsense! He seems to know you, how do you explain that?”

Virginia squinted at them, getting the sense that she was missing something more than ever.

“Janus, please, let me tell them the--”

“We now have a name for our thief!” she announced triumphantly. “So you do know each other! Let me tell you, Jolliest Caesar, he has betrayed you. Whatever you paid him seemed to be less than enough, so he stole your father’s coin bag”.

Young Signor Morandi’s eyes went straight to said item, lighting up in recognition and some other emotion much harder to identify.

“Is this the outcome you desired? I thought you were silly, I was... persuaded to believe you were kind. But, this? Do you owe your father so much disrespect?”

He grimaced in response, looking away. Meanwhile, Janus pursed his lips in a thin line.

‘Why does it matter to him?’, Virginia wondered.

“Signor Morandi is an upright man, someone who carries himself proud and virtuous. I will not insult him by denouncing you to my family, but I hope you learn to have--”

“Oh, poor and noble Signor Morandi! Rid of a coin bag, whatever will he do?!” Janus shouted.

The gazes of all people present turned to him.

“It’s not as if he could buy another. Are we to pity him?! He is so good! You defend what you think to be the property of a man who would gladly pull any pair of lovers apart. Gift his son to a stack of classist swine in exchange for a title! What an estimate of his worth!”

One could almost marvel at him having the nerve to spit his anger even under the point of a blade. Romina frowned, taken aback.

“But he’s so upright! Admit it, you couldn’t care any less about this ridiculous coin bag, you just want to use it as an excuse to keep your affair with your servant hidden. Am I the one you wish to kill or does it make you feel less powerless to pretend you’re stabbing another man? None of us gets a choice”.

Young Signor Morandi held his breath.

Virginia let hers out. That was it! Of course! How could she not have realized earlier?

“Spilling my blood won’t change that! I may not be good, but I can at least see through the lies, and you aren’t good either. You’re as selfish as I am and you won’t get to keep her, we never do”.

“What?” Romina answered.

She looked at Virginia, then at young Signor Morandi, then back at him.

“Are you seriously doing this? I could make these your last words! What is wrong with you! This is madness. I am about to die” she began to mock him, “let me make this moment into a speech about society and another man’s stolen money. Who does that? I know I am dramatic, but, at the very least--!”

“Princess, shut up!” Virginia shouted.

“Excuse me, I was only trying to give some fair critic--”

“Not the time. Also, you are completely missing the point!

“What do you mean?”

“Do you know how we always talk after dinner?”

“That is not what we do after…”

“Yes”.

“So what is your point? Oooooh!”

“Now you get it…” she closed her eyes.

“They also talk…” Romina smiled.

“Hmm”.

“And he is actually…!” she pointed back and forth between the two with her sword. “They are…!”

“We are, and if you would” Janus flattened himself against the floor.

“Your ladyship, please, my Janus has had enough of sharp objects for…” young Signor Morandi looked at him.

“For forever, put the sword away”.

Romina did as requested and promptly offered a hand to help Janus get on his feet.

“You are one menace of a woman”.

“Thank you”.

“What is going on?!”

A large set of rushed footsteps accompanied the question. The four turned around to see his lordship, Count Regio, his wife, Signor Morandi and a myriad of servants.

“Oh, father, mother!” Romina exclaimed. “Signor Morandi”, she greeted more formally.

“Romina, what is the meaning of this?” said Count Regio.

“Your lordship, your ladyship”, Janus spoke after a bow. “I was sent by Marquess Sanders”.

Romina turned to look at him. His attire was mostly back in place, a part of her couldn’t help but be impressed. After spotting the family crest on Janus’ dusack, the counts’ expression changed from confusion to shame.

“Romina, did you duel this man? Apologise this instant!” Count Regio looked livid as he spoke. “We already had to be rid of her fencing teacher, do not worry, Signor Morandi, we will also dispose of her swords”, Countess Regio reassured.

In the scandal, Virginia was the only one to notice the coin bag forgotten on the floor. She stepped to the side, knowing no one would pay attention to her, as per usual, especially with such chaos. The coin bag disappeared under Virginia’s skirts, dragged by her foot. Young Signor Morandi walked past her and nodded in a silent gesture of gratitude. Perhaps one person did notice.

“Your ladyship, that will not be necessary, I come as a new fencing teacher, an early engagement present of Marquess Sanders”.

“But how did he know…” Virginia muttered.

Janus did hear her and went on:

“He was very impressed by the letters sent by your daughter. Marquess Sanders believes that someone with such impeccable diplomacy, and a disposition to secure the future relationship of her family, should not be deprived of outstandingness. To preserve such remarkable, dare I say, rare, qualities on a lady, he sent me. Marquess Sanders hopes my instruction can further her skills and aid her to grow more accomplished than ever before”.

“Oh, that is fantastic to hear!” Count Regio said, looking a lot more uncomfortable than her tone would suggest. “But, Lady Romina, as you already are aware of, is engaged now. We ought to hear young Signor Morandi’s opinion on the matter”.

-------------------------

All eyes turned to Patton.

“Actually…”

For a moment, he doubted himself.

Lying, as he had always been told, was sinful. But so was ignoring the struggle of the weak, breaking your word and not honouring one’s spouse.

Most importantly, Patton had to honour his heart.

If lying was the price to pay… well, so be it.

“I asked her for a demonstration. I have always harboured a burning admiration for her dexterity with the sword. Her ladyship is truly heroic and radiant when duelling”.

Romina turned to look at him.

It would seem he had managed to become friends with her after all.

-------------------------

The moonlight shone in its quiet dance with the nightly air. This was, once again, a clear summer evening, but it marked the end of an insane day. The sounds of dining and chatting had died out. Everyone, gradually, left for their rooms. Janus, crossing the gardens, intended to do the same.

Climbing with a wounded arm made his ascend harder than usual. Luckily, the ostentatious facade of the palazzo gave him countless points to anchor himself to. Slowly but surely, he got to Patton’s open window.

As what felt like always, Patton held him by the lapels of his cape and pulled him inside.

Rather than saying hello, Patton kissed him. It was gentle, devoid of the despair that had marked all their meetings during the last weeks. Patton pulled apart just as softly.

“Here”.

Janus stared at the coin bag in his hand and smirked.

“Dear, if you keep on offering me your money you’ll turn into the worst noble ever, and I, the worst thief”, he said with no real smugness.

Patton laughed.

“Virginia retrieved it when nobody looked”.

“I’ll remember to thank her”.

“Please, be nice this time”.

“You saw that?”

“Yes. Janus, pointing at someone with… that thing… don’t do it again”.

Janus shrugged and leaned in to kiss him again. A pair of hands pulled on his cape, that fell on the floor, forgotten.

“I don’t think” Janus half-laughed, “I could get away with it again”.

His bandages were fresh. The bleeding had stopped, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Patton stared at it and furrowed his eyebrows.

“I could have lost you today”.

“You saved me again”.

“Well, that isn’t entirely true”.

“Oh, why would that be?”

“You managed to stand your ground until I could save you”.

“Call it good timing”.

Patton smiled.

“What’s so funny?” Janus smiled as well.

“I’m happy. We… we are going to be together after this. I even gained two friends”.

“You keep meeting the strangest people, dear”.

“I’ll have to make sure that you kids don’t get hurt”.

“We’ll try to be in our best behaviour”.

Patton got closer and whispered:

“Liar”.

Janus swallowed and stared at him, suddenly feeling defeated, yet happy about it. He loosened his belt, letting it fall to the floor with his dusack.

It made an awful lot of noise. Patton looked down, almost in disbelief at Janus’ newfound capacity to make a sound.

“Hmm. Where did you really get that sword? Romina could get in serious trouble if…”

“Don’t worry, Thomas won’t mind covering for me”.

“Thomas? You know the marquess?”

“Let us sit on the bed, I think that you deserve to know this secret”.

Both of them got comfortable on the ridiculous wall of pillows placed against the headboard of the canopy bed.

“I used to work for the Sanders family. Ever since I was a boy, I tended to the horses, which is how Thomas and I became friends in the first place. As we grew, he decided to make me his personal servant, and, aside from learning to lie as easy as speaking, I also learned I hate rich people. Thomas is okay though. I think you and Thomas are the only rich people I tolerate”.

“Well, that’s rich”.

“Patton! I’m telling you my tragic story!” he said, not at all bothered. “Anyhow, I decided that wasn’t for me, so I told Thomas. He was sad, but he respected it. Before I left, he gave me his own sword, I guess as a safe-conduct of sorts, maybe to remind me I could always come back”.

“That is… a lot”.

“I know. He’s a good friend. Believe it or not, I’ve never used it until today. I… couldn’t let you get caught in any of my… shall we say, activities, so I figured…”

Patton grabbed him, mindful of his wounds, and pulled him close.

“You need to let other people in, Janus. I know I’m kind of silly, but I can still help. I wish you could see that when you let people know you they want to be on your side. You are someone worth knowing”.

“And you are more of a bastard than people give you credit for”.

His laughter made them shake a little. Janus stared at Patton’s joyful expression feeling satisfied.

“I guess I am”.

“Pity you don’t want to do anything wicked with it”.

“I’ll leave that to you, just, tell me beforehand”.

“How else would I be saved last minute, dear?”

They stared at each other for a while. It hadn’t fully hit Janus until now that this, this thing right now, would be his life from now on. Thinking that, perhaps the world wasn’t as cruel as he had always made it to be.

“You are so good”.

Patton kissed him again.

“Only when nobody’s looking”.

“Jan, name’s Patton, not nobody”.

“You think you’re so funny”.

“Am I not, when I make you smile like this?”

-------------------------

Taglist: @joylessnightsky , (the following interacted with my tagging request post, so I assumed you wanted to be tagged, if not, please tell me) @jerasings , @daemoade , @grandhairdofarmgoop .

#moceit #prinxiety #ts janus #ts patton #ts virgil #ts roman #fem!roman #fem!virgil #moceit au #renaissance au #renaissance!Patton #renaissance!Janus #sanders sides fanfiction #moceit fanfiction #doomstypewriter #doomywrites #dooms requests

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ughgclden · 3 years

Note

bee, love, don’t apologise, please, it’s okay, and first and foremost, are you alright?? i hope you’re taking care of yourself, love, but i understand, i don’t think there’s been a year since third grade that i haven’t gotten pneumonia in the winter. I hope you’re feeling alright!!

honestly, dead poets society is one of my only personality traits anymore, i find myself drawing parallels to it constantly, for no reason but i love thinking about it. i’ve watched it so many times at this point, it’s,,, concerning. those tests always take me way less time than they give me, and i used to feel really awkward, i remember i took a bio one once, four hours they gave me, 45 minutes in, i was finished, and the moderator didn’t believe me. i aced it too, like the silly little neil kinnie i am. i’ve gotten used to the ‘worse’ side of being a neil kinnie, and honestly, now that my mum isn’t as controlling about everything as she used to be, it’s easier to deal with. i remember once, i’d gotten an 89 in algebra, and she threatened to pull me out of the fall show. that was a neil perry moment if i ever had one lol. the biggest thing these days is just imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome like oh you’re not hispanic enough, but also, you’re not queer enough, nonbinary enough, things like that. It’s exacerbated some days, but i try.

i watched the it movies on my cousin’s hbo,,, i may or may not have used it without her permission since she forgot to log out of my computer, but that’s neither here nor there. i remember having such a hard time taking the first one seriously initially, because of all the new kids on the block jokes, having a mum who was obsessed with them made it hard, especially when i actually got them all- in truth, the only midnight premiere i’ve been able to make was the force awakens, and i had school the next day too. i’m definitely a richie kinnie, and i have the internalised homophobia (only towards myself though) to prove it /hj my waterbottle has both a sticker of neil on it and a sticker of the r + e carving on it. in case there was any doubt about me lmao. stan kin makes sense for you, honestly, i can see it, i can see it.

okay so listen- no really, i’d bought them with the intention of only drinking half of one that night and spreading them out like that, but then came 9:45pm, and i had a research paper (on womens’ pockets/lack thereof) due at 10am that i simply hadn’t even started, so i downed them all in an hour and got the paper turned in at 5:56 in the morning. but i scare you huh? /hj bee, you’re too sweet, in truth, i’m fairly inelegant, but i try, as for the comforting and cosy, i’ll take you at your word, since that is something only someone interacting with me could discern. i do try to be kind to others for the most part. mainly i think because i’m usually on the other end of mean people.

i’m just perceptive like that bee, i dunno what to tell you, something just tells me, you know? /j and thank you, i always feel a little silly talking about it, because most of the tattoos i want are dead poets society tattoos, i guess some part of me, within the part of me that feels so incredibly tied to it, feels as if if i were able to get a tattoo i’d owe it to the movie in some way, if that makes any sense. i’ve already begged a friend of mine to go with me to get my first once i get to new york, the question though, is what to get first. i’ve got time to make a decision (for once in my life) i just spend a lot of time thinking about it.

honestly, i have never known a school rule to make sense. banning ripped jeans? banning dyed hair? it’s almost as if if they don’t stifle everything natural about kids expressing themselves they dont feel like they’re doing anything. but i digress. the same-sex couple rules were. awful. 12 year old me had enough going on without having an administrator yell at my friend and i for hugging in the courtyard and not leaving until we were a foot apart, but hey.

okay, jumping over a fence to go to a mcdonalds? how coming of age indie movie manic pixie dream girl of you /hj

200k words, is that a challenge? also ahaha not at all like my italian uncle up there just opened a ‘pizzeria’ /hj but mob!star au? might be a project i should start… granted, i’m not as good a storyteller as you, but i can try.

when i was little, i wanted to revolutionise things, i guess. i even actually wrote out a campaign, i wonder if its still somewhere. thank you for believing in me, but these days, bee, i’m thinking less about changing the world, and more about making it the next few weeks, and then the ones after that. little star was aware of so much, but also so little. i wonder what they’d think of me now, honestly.

i did, in fact, teach archery, it was so fun but my arms got SO SORE, and the kid who challenged my archery skills seemed surprised when i actually,, hit the bullseyes. my inner susan was happy then. incidentally the experience is also why i made a playlist called “touchstarved and wanting to teach you to shoot a bow” which low-key slaps when i’m lonely. and bee omg i cannot believe you said im better than susan pevensie i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life thank you- and yes, yes it was named aslan, however did you guess? /j prince caspian<33333

i’ll let you know my results from the tournament, as soon as they come out, and i say this having just put on pjs after taking off my suit, and sitting in the room with my cat in my dear evan hansen hoodie, frantically refreshing the results page because i’m anxious and impatient.

i hope you have a good night, with fitful and restful sleep, i’m sorry this got to be so long, but you know me, i certainly can talk. i’m honestly shocked i even made it to finals, considering i was running off four hours of sleep, having gone to bed at three last night. whoops.

all my love, hugs, and a warm mug of tea,

yours,

star✨

p.s i said yes so that?? happened?? it honestly feels surreal but we’re not gonna be in the same place anymore come the end of this year, so that’ll be something to deal with

P.p.s might just start adding spanish or latin or russian phrases to these if i keep having to translate your cute french bee /lh /hj

star my love, i know you said don't apologise, but i think the word 'sorry' makes up about 60% of my vocabulary. i'm okay!! was just a bit icky, but luckily i've recovered now!!

that's so nice - and again, makes so much sense for you. i think you would work perfectly in welton, i know it. i love bringing the messages from that film into my own life, as silly as it may sound. i'm astonished, and so fucking jealous of you. i used to finish tests maybe half an hour early, but hours is so impressive??? fun fact i did finish my physics final in about 45 minutes and slept for the other hour <3 neil would b proud my love!!! oh my god - i'm so sorry that happened??? but that is also so neil kinnie??? it seems futile me saying this, but i assure you that you are hispanic enough, and queer enough, and non-binary enough. you are enough, period. more than enough even. imposter syndrome is the worst, and i'm so so sorry you're dealing with it.

she did that to herself, you just saw an opportunity /lh a midnight premiere of the force awakens sounds so cute though omg - i hope you had the absolute best time. the r + e carving actually broke me. as a die hard reddie shipper since 2017, seeing the movie make it basically canon?! had me a mess in the cinema.

you are ridiculously comforting and cosy, everything about you feels like a warm hug from a familiar face and i love it. and the way you write is so smooth, it makes me think of a quill smoothly gliding across parchment, the deep black ink unsmudged and pristine. that seems a little pretentious of me, but oh well.

i also want some dps tattoos!! i desperately want "and still we sleep" from todd's poem, and was also so so tempted to get an outline drawing of meeks + pitts dancing on the roof. i love that, and i can't wait until the day you get it, whichever one it may be. my one concern is becoming addicted to them and making my bank account suffer - at least my piercing obsession is a little easier to fund /hj

i've NEVER gotten that - they claim it's 'distracting' but how on earth would it be?? when i got to college, no one was distracted by my dyed hair, and i certainly wasn't distracted by other people's outfits or painted nails. you were yelled at. for hugging. a friend.. what the fuck is wrong with these people??

just call me ramona flowers star /j it was possibly the highlight of my school career, sans hiding in the back room of the music room to avoid a maths test

i bet you're an amazing storyteller, if these letters are anything to go by. it would be a new york times best seller, i know it

we all have to take things one step at a time, i think. that's the only way i really get through things if i'm honest. one day after another and the cycle repeats. i love wondering what young me would think of me now - i'd probably be intimidated of myself, but i like to think i'd be proud that i'm still here, pursuing something i love

that playlist. sounds nothing short of sheer perfection. i too am touch starved and want to teach someone to shoot a bow - even though i.. cannot shoot a bow... but i can wield a sword so, it's close enough.

i saw your message about the tournament results - im so fucking proud of you!!!! you deserve it so so much and i couldn't be happier for you. see, your words and ideas are changing the world, even if you don't realise it.

ps; that is so fun???? omg im so happy for you star, you deserve tis <33 i hope towards the end of this year whatever happens leaves you both happy, no matter how far the distance.

pps; omg no.. please don't do that.. aha that would be awful... definitely wouldn't make my heart race.. haha not at all

all of my love, star. pardon the pun, but you are out of this world ;) i'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes;

il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé <3

#asks <3 #anon asks!#star anon #long post

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floatingbook · 3 years

Note

I recently found your blog and im in love with your writings. I guess I just needed to went about this. Anyway theres this female youtuber that I watched for a long time now. She makes good animal content and is an ornithologist. Her style of content is also right up my alley. (1)

But the thing is shes homophobic. I knew this for a while now but on one of her recent streams she explicitly stated how disgusted she found gay people using very popular homophobic slurs in our language (not English). And like I dont hate her or whatever. I like her content and even her personality vice. she herself is gnc in her style and is not married. she gets a ton of comments from men telling her how weird it is and she addressed it in multiple videos saying how stupid she finds it (2)

but like this whole thing makes it difficult to just enjoy bird and lizard videos lol. recently we also got a new professor at my Uni. and while she considers herself tolerant she said quite a few. homophobic things as well. like she said she'd kill her son if he was gay, jokingly. but whats funny in that? anyway I talked about this with my groupmate whos lesbian and she told me she hated this but tries to not pay attention to it. she thinks its best to just ignore it.(3)

and like I think shes right. we cant change anything about this, our country is very homophobic. so why pay attention to it? Im secure in myself anyway. but its still so difficult to just not thing about it and enjoy everything else.have you ever dealt with similar feelings? how did you cope with them? sorry for long message. im also a lesbian if it matters. (4)

No need to apologise for the length of your message, sister! I’m sorry you’ve had to face this; but which lesbian, sadly, doesn’t? It’s all too common for us to be faced with this kind of non-physically-harmful homophobia. And at first glance, we tend to discount it, yes. After all, we are “secure in [our]selves”, we know there’s nothing wrong with being lesbians, that we’re not ill or cursed or whatever nonsense. In the long run, and although it doesn’t do the same kind of damage as homophobic physical harm, I think it’s more worrying. Especially because it appears so harmless at first, such a matter of personal opinion — we can’t really change the way these people think, they’re always going to harbour those kinds of thoughts.

But even if you’re a proud lesbian and fine with yourself, it still makes you internalise the fact that homosexuality is somehow wrong. Of course being regularly exposed to that kind of ideas, of content, is going to affect your wellbeing. Even if it’s “just” a passing remark from a youtuber, or a “joke” from a university teacher, or an aunt sharing a bigoted stereotype about homosexuality, or a random individual being interviewed on TV during a conservative march, or a priest mentioning once in a while how you’re going to end up burning in hell just for existing. These comments can lead us to feel terrible about ourselves, straight into self-hatred. They also, whether we like it or not, create a hostile climate for us. It’s not healthy to exist in an environment where you know that people despise or outright hate you, even if they don’t know that you specifically are a lesbian. You’re always going to be wondering how your teacher would treat you if she somehow found out. Would she lower your grades? Would there be any kind of retaliation? For every homophobe who makes homophobic jokes or share any other type of homophobic position, there’s always the worry of escalation to physical harm. As a result, you’re always, even if not completely consciously, on the lookout.

I think the best thing to do with these people is to cut them out whenever possible. I know that you like that youtuber’s content, but you’re always going to be wondering in a corner of your mind “when is she going to be homophobic again”. I’m sure you can find other women talking about that kind of subject, and if not on youtube maybe in podcasts, in documentaries, or on blogs. It’s eminently frustrating to loose a source of information and entertainment, but you also have to take care of yourself, and sometimes that means removing homophobes from your life. Here, a reminder that it’s not your job to cure them of their homophobia. You don’t have to put up with them. Much in the same way that women don’t have to waste their time explaining to men how we are human beings deserving of rights and dignity and a life free of oppression too.

In the case of your uni teacher, you can’t do a lot but bear through it. It’s good that you’re not alone; support your fellow lesbian, and make sure that you don’t let the hate, however how casual, get you down. I don’t think it’s about “ignoring” it as much as not letting either despair or rage take up too much space. It’s normal to feel depressed that homophobia is so widespread, but you can try to balance it out with the knowledge, shared by many of your fellow lesbians, that being a lesbian is perfectly normal and even wonderful. Same for anger at the homophobia, it’s perfectly normal in the face of bigotry and hatred, but please make sure that you use your anger as fuel for positive action and don’t just let it simmer and fester into giving up and depression and helplessness.

We don’t have to be resigned to the homophobia. You can sensibilise your friends to the problem, and hopefully find people who’ll embrace you for who you are. You can move to less homophobic places; you can create lesbians clubs, gatherings or communities; if you are determined and want to play the game and work within the rules of the system, you can lobby and agitate for reforms to law to make your country less homophobic. We don’t have to tolerate homophobic people. There are some things on which we can refuse to compromise.

(same anon who wrote about female youtuber)also Goddammit these straight anons are so ridiculous. sorry for my language. how can they not see their privilege? literally the entire fucking world is telling you that relationships with men are good and pure and "correct" and you DARE to come to a LESBIANS blog and whine about a tiny group of lesbian women who tell you that maybe men aren't the end all be all im just so sorry for their stupidity sis.. crazy you still have to deal with this shit :/

I’m used to it, not that it’s pleasant, but yes, sometimes it’s baffling how little reading comprehension and self-awareness some people exhibit on here (and out there in the world). I hope you have a very pleasant week, anonymous sister, and that your lesbian friend does as well ;)

#anonymous #answered #thanks for the support sister #i hope you face less homophobia going forward #i wish the world was a better place #cue sad weary face #we can never catch a break #lesbophobia #homophobia

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wariocompany · 4 years

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whats ur opinion on which dr characters sexualities are like canon or heavily implied? its frustrating being on drtwt sometimes bc i have no clue if ibuki is bi or lesbian coded or if kokichi is bi/pan/gay. i dont want to erase anything but damn if danganronpa is annoying with how ambiguous some shit is

hahahaa i was just thinking about this!

as far as sexuality “coding” goes, there’s many layers. there’s characters who have an active point made about them not being attracted to the opposite gender; these characters being nidai, ishimaru, and chabashira. nidai having his scene with owari where his total lack of attraction is pretty much played for laughs, ishimaru saying that the strongest kind of bond there is, is his bond with other men and it’s “not the same for women”, and chabashira being.... chabashira.

then there’s characters who can be inferred to be gay or lesbian simply because there’s no proof of them being opposite-gender attracted and they are sga. this would be characters like komaeda, ouma, and komaru.

for both of these tiers, i can understand getting offended when people ignore these implied sexualities. m/f content for nidai, ishimaru, chabashira and komaru makes me wanna punch a wall, to be honest. but i tend not to bother people about it because i don’t see the point in calling someone out for just... not being god at understanding a character. literature and video games are for everyone, not just those who can read between the lines. the issue is that many don’t understand that arguing that komaru, komaeda and ouma “COULD be bi” simply because their bisexuality isn’t disproven, is a russell’s teapot argument and is extremely stupid.

then we get to the bi characters. in my humble opinion (just cuz you brought her up) mioda is bisexual, and the issue is too many people use her island mode “not being canon” as a reason that she isn’t. (they also say it’s because imposter is nb, which is bullshit because he is implied to be a transgender man, so... so much for ignoring coding, am i right?) but if we do that, what happens to ALL the implied bisexual men? like oowada, who REAAALLY had some blushy moments with naegi? or tanaka or souda (who could also be considered gay)? not to mention how many of nidai’s gay moments come from there too? you’ve got official content by the very same writers making in character content and you’re just gonna pick and choose when it’s a valid point and when it isn’t?

the picking-and-choosing is also a sign of just how few people know what coding actually is. it has to be intentional. unintentional gay coding simply does not exist. that’s where characters like asahina lie, where the writers - all cishet (probably) men- are just so bad at understanding women that they wrote a woman who feels disconnected from her womanhood due to never falling for another man; and they don’t realise that is Literally A Symptom Of Compulsory Heterosexuality.

so this much wouldn’t make asahina lesbian coded, for instance. she’s DEFINITELY a lesbian, but this is a reinterpretation, not coding. people in this fanbase can’t tell the difference. the same goes for oogami. i am like, 99.99999% certain she’s bisexual, but the writers have tried many a time to #Cancel!(tm) sakuraoi via oogami denying it, and again the writers are very very unlikely to understand how internalised homophobia works to such an extent that they were intending for her to be bisexual.

a lot of the implied sexualities are simply done by the process of elimination. hagakure had that one quote about how cloud watching dates “don’t work when it’s two guys” and seems to have fleeting attractions to girls, so we can infer that he is, unfortunately and regrettably, straight. with hanamura, he was attracted to various people regardless of gender, so we can deduce that he’s bi. and so on and so forth.

if i could say one thing and have everyone in the dr fanbase understand, it would be that reinterpretations aren’t coding. however, i would ALSO want to say that people don’t need to get pressed that chabashira is a lesbian, for instance.

the issue is that people inherently politicise sexuality. “chabashira didn’t make an announcement that she’s a lesbian or anything! you can’t say she is canonically! hurr durr hurr!” but when people are like, “omg chihiro babey :D” no one says “but... she’s not canonically babey”. or even, say, “kirigiri is really smart”. kirigiri isn’t, to my knowledge, “canonically” smart. she doesn’t say “i’m smart”. but to infer such a thing is not offensive nor does it start discourse.

i think the same should apply to sexuality. being able to infer such a thing about a character shouldn’t be a big deal. god, who fucking cares if ishimaru is gay? cool. you don’t need to try to disprove it. why are you so hell bent on making it not so?

#hi de ho #sorry if this is a bit... badly written idk #Anonymous

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koko-bopp · 4 years

Note

Amongst the fics that you've written, which one(s) are your favourite? 🙈 And could you link them?

This was actually a fun question djjdjsj!! What's your favourite fic of mine?? Everyone can tell me :D

jimin x male!reader — kiddo — you and your husband, jimin, take the time to learn more about your son, since tween years can be a little stressful. FLUFF!

this was actually so fun to write because omg domestic and family AU's are so so cute :((

taehyung x male!reader — truth of dare — truth or dare with a dirty twist and an adventure-hungry Kim Taehyung.

it's erotic and confident tae is best Tae but also omg bottom Tae is phenomenal.

jungkook x male!reader — three times — you and Jungkook both have a crush on each other, anyone with an intellect can tell you that. but everytime you two persue each other, the universe seems to be against you. SMUT

This is my taste of erotic but also funny?? Like also low-key feminine kook and dirty talk and 😩😩 yes

mingi x male!reader — singularity — homophobia sucks, internalised homophobıa is worse, but not being able to think you can trust your friends to meet the love of your life? that's horrible. ANGST

i cried writing this, I was sad by it actually turned out to be like a venting-fic, my friend cried reading it too.

sehun x gender neutral!reader — ex — you're coincidently partnered with you ex boyfriend's new boyfriend, you claim you don't have feelings for Sehun anymore, yet one thing leads to another and confessions start rolling out. ANGST/FLUFF

it was sweet and and sad, like a rainy day, it was like you didn't know if you should be mad at y/n or happy for sehun :)

taeil x male!reader — good-skin routine — taeil’s doing a livestream and you join in from time to time, people just love the two of you together. FLUFF

IT WAS JUST SO CUTE AND FUN!! LIKE OMG BABYING YOUR PARTNER IS SO MUCH HFJSSJDJ FUN!

doyoung x male!reader — arrogance — you're determined, driven and a student who carries himself with confidence, never accepting second place as an option. Doyoung mistakenly gets himself into your bad books, and yet he also finds himself crushing on you.

it's competitive, lots and lots of tension and completion, also the whole enemies to friends is 10/10 :D

jaemin x male!reader — popular — you're really popular at the University you're attending, especially among the girls, you're basically a dream-boy for some. Na Jaemin also has a little crush on you that he's been pretty good at hiding. FLUFF

I like stories where the characters aren't explicitly together, one talking about how much they like the other and unknown to them that person likes them too, it's nice :)

jisung male!reader — just a little bit longer — duty calls but Jisung's boyfriend is heavily persistent that their cuddle session is much more important than absolutely anything and everything they need to get done. FLUFF

soft boyfriend's and y'all just wanna cuddle and you got work and Jisung dont want you to go :(( what's not to like??

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cosmic-affinities · 4 years

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First line game- WIPs

I saw this thing where you post the first line of all of your WIPs and I decided to expose myself and the sheer amount of WIPs I have, its mainly Bakudeku but I do have a few Drarry ones as well. If any of my shitty descriptions excite you drop a comment and it will get bumped up on my list of what to finish first (I won’t be posting any of the bkdk ones until the first one on this list is finished being uploaded, I have a promise to a friend that I must uphold)

Along with that if you see the ones that have ‘(working title)’ next to them and you have a better idea for the title leave it in the comments! I give them all working titles so I dont have to click through a bunch of stuff named ‘Untitled Document’ on my docs.

Last thing, I’m posting this as a sort of accountability along with the ‘game’ so I will try to update this as each of these gets finished, if you are interested in being a beta for any of these feel free to send me a chat or post it in the comments (some of them are already beta-ed so I may or may not need another)

1) Fantasy Meets Reality- Bakudeku on AO3 “Midoriya! Bro, open up!”Izuku woke with a start, there was a voice outside his door and he was too tired to recognise it.“Izuku, what’s going on? Why aren’t you opening the door?” A second voice called out.To prevent any further yelling and knocking Izuku stumbled out of bed to his door and opened it, he did not expect to see Kit and Kirishima waiting on the other side.

This is the start of chapter three (Chapter one and two are already posted!) A quick run down, this fic has the bakugou from the fantasy AU (the end screen of the stain arc) come into the real world, i named him Kit to differentiate him from Kacchan. Basically Kit comes into the regular world and Kacchan has to see him and Deku interact!

2) Know Him Well (working title)- Bakudeku

“Dunce face, don’t you understand the concept of personal fucking space? Take a damn step back, you're basically slobbering on the damn nerd.” Katsuki pulled lightly at Kaminari’s collar, silently pulling him away from Izuku.

This is going to be a oneshot get together fic that shows how well Katsuki and Izuku know each other. Basically senarios present themselves to our main idiots where the rest of class A slowly realises that these two know each other surprisingly well, including mutual pining and some medling from their respective squads.

3) A Week (working title)- Bakudeku A week.

Katsuki told Izuku how he felt and then ignored his existence for a week.

He kissed Izuku and decided to act as if it never happened.

This is a one shot based on a twitter thread I read that did not end the way i wanted it to so I asked permission to rewrite with a happy ending and they allowed me to. It is an angsty get together fic with lots of underlying and internalised homophobia and fear of what getting together could mean for our two aspiring pro heroes. Erasermic is a reassuring presence and a slight plot device.

4) Truth (working title)- Bakudeku “Hey be careful there! You don’t want to fall over!” Izuku chuckled at the child he was holding onto, at least some good came out of his detour through the park.

“Oh my goodness sir! Are you ok?” A worried woman rushed over, seemingly more worried about the green haired stranger rather than the small child.

This is a one shot in which Izuku gets hit with a truth quirk and has to stop himself from being too forthcoming with everything he says. Get together fic that will hopefully give you second hand embarassment.

5) Izuku Withdrawl- Bakudeku

“In addition to your normal schedule this week, you will also be paired up with someone from this class to work with a support course student to update some of your gear. This is as much an assignment for you as it is for the support course, when you become a prohero you will need to be able to communicate what types of upgrades you want for your costumes, if you can’t you will be stuck in broken or subpar gear which will only hinder you in fights. You will find your partner from your class and the support student you will be working with posted in the common area of your dorm and outside this classroom, now class is dismissed.”

This is a oneshot in which the pair get (purposely) hit with a quirk that makes it incredibly painful for them to touch, Bakugou plays it off as if it would not be a problem until they find out how often they truly casually touch. The quirk will wear off in (reportedly) 3-4 days and by the end everyone is noticing the increasingly irritable Bakugou snapping at everyone who dares to bring it up and the increasingly hurt Midoriya (makes more sense withing the confines of the fic) and get together that is truly painful for everyone involved.

6) The Frenchman and the Parselmouth- Drarry

“Draco, darling, come help me with the laundry!” A voice echoed throughout the big house.

This is a multichapter eighth year drarry fic in which the two are roommates who create a tentative friendship until one morning Harry hears Draco speaking french (as you probably guessed from the title lol) and has a gay panic. The ensuing gay panic leads Harry to enlist the help of his favorite professor Remus Lupin (who also happens to be with his god father because fuck canon Wolfstar is alive and happy together) to try and figure out his own feelings and how to make them obvious to Draco. I really love this story and it will definitely be finished eventually but it needs so so much work because it started as a convoluted headcanon and then one major scene in the begining was changed (actually is in the process of being changed) and so it needs quite a bit of TLC before it is anywhere near ready to post. Let me know if this (shitty) description excites you and maybe it will get bumped up on my list of what gets finished first.

7) Loathing.... Right?-Drarry(with a hefty side of pansmione and blairon) on AO3

Draco woke slowly, later than normal, he and Pansy had stayed up a while longer, he wanted to avoid seeing Potter for as long as possible. As his eyes adjusted to the light in the room, Draco looked around, his eyes landed on Potter’s sleeping form, for a moment he allowed himself to indulge and raked his eyes over the fit body asleep across the room. He knew he shouldn’t be allowing this to happen, but Draco couldn’t help himself, this is the only time he let himself feel so strongly. The only time he let hope sink in, when Potter was unconscious and serene, unaware of the brooding next to him.

This is the begining of chapter four as the first three chapters are already up on AO3. This fic is (another) eighth year Drarry fic in which they are roommates, roughly based on the song ‘What is This Feeling’ from Wicked (mostly in the first three chapters tbh, if you listen to the song you’ll get why it doesn’t last for the entire fic) This fic has the golden trio paired up with the slytherin trio as dormmates and they all come to terms with their surprisingly more than friendly feelings towards their respective roommates, defintely focused mainly on Drarry but you still get quite a bit of the other two ships as well, I’m working hard on chapter four but I’m having a bit of a block at the moment

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bow-woahh · 5 years

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Spop Fic recs (Catradora)

(finally)

Hello Catradora trash can's today I finally give you what I've been promising for MONTHS - a fanfic rec list. Because, if you didn't already know, I read A LOT of Catradora fanfic, probably too much and although I'm definitely not the best judge of...anything, I really wanted to make this post, so here it is, weeks late.

(it's a long one though)

I’ve written my full opinions n shit on like the first 10 multi chapters and one shots because there’s a lot lol, and some I remember better than others (tbf I've re read all of them at this point), but yeahhh. For the others, I’ll describe it in less detail and a bit more jokily lol.

I'm sorry I haven't just linked all the fics bit I just want this to be out of my drafts loll, and I can assure you most of these are pretty easy to find, I apologise for the laziness though haha

Also I’ve tried to find the all the authors tumblr or other social media, but I couldn’t for all of them which sucks, so if you happen to be the author and I left you out, please comment :)

Anyway, Y'ALL NEED TO GET ON MY LEVEL SOOO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO HERE YOU GO:

(here's a key first)

Key:

(o) = ongoing

(f) = finished

[G]=General

[T] =Teen and up Audiences

[M]=Mature

[E]=Explicit

Multi-chapters:

1. Upper West Side by ceruleanstorm (o) 100,000+ words

@princessofgayskull

[Modern AU] [T]

This fic is so amazing!! It goes so deep into their psychology and past and damn is it hilarious at time. Also, I love the premise of it - Catra is a Uber driver and Adora ends up as her passenger. It's a fairly slowburn as it goes deep into the two girls' lives and really gives time for the relationship to develop naturally and that is honestly really appreciated because it makes the good moments between the two even better and more rewarding if I'm honest. A lot of angst though. All the other characters we know and love are also written amazingly in it too, and are made equally important. All in all, I love this fic and everything about it!

As of writing it has fairly infrequent updates, but each chapter is 10-20k+ words and has 9/12 chapters so...there’s a lot.

2. For my Sake by doublepasse (f) 100,000+ words

@doublepasse-writes

[Canon Compliant][E]

The story and world building is just - WOAH. This one is quite the slowburn but boy is it worth it. It's set a couple months to a year after season one, where Catra finally captures Adora but the tables turn very quickly when capturing her nearly results in her death, which Catra (unsurprisingly) didn’t want. The story has some BIG plot twists and is definitely one of the best canon universe Catradora fics I’ve ever read and the ending was very satisfying, but also open ended, BECAUSE there’s a part 2 coming and I couldn’t be more excited!

(Also, there is one chapter with nsfw content in it, but it has a sfw version)

3. Skinny Love by Maychup (o) 89,000+ words

@maychup

[Canon Compliant][M]

Another amazing fic that takes place in the canon universe that has such great world building, and is very plot heavy. It takes place days after the S1 finale and goes from there basically. The premise of it is similar to many fics and one shots you’ve probably read - sleeping with the enemy. From the first chapter it seemed like it could have easily been a five chapter easy redemption fic but nooooooo, it goes a lot LOT deeper. I feel like this fic did such a great job on character development, Catra’s specifically, she grows so much throughout the fic. She is also such a mother to all her Horde pals in this and I love that haha.

At the time of writing, it’s still ongoing, and boy am I excited to see where it goes. It’s also super angsty and has a fair-ish amount of smut so be warned!

4. The Heiress and The thief by Fuhadeza (f) 58,000+ words

@fuhadeza

[Regency AU][M]

As it says in the fic summary, it is literally the She-Ra regency AU I never knew I wanted likeeee, it’s so good! Premise - Adora is taken by Lady Brightmoon, leaving her boarding school, and her best friend behind, Catra, and everything is fine until her old friend face resurfaces. This one had me screaming at times (most of them did, but this especially). It was a really enjoyable read and I honestly loved the way the author dealt with love and the way Adora dealt with her feelings and just ahhh- read it.

5. Faded with feelings by yesimgay (f) 24,000+ words

[Roomates AU][T]

This fic. I read this a WHILEEE ago but to this day this is one of my favourite fan-fics ever like it’s hilarious, and fluffy and unproblematic and sometimes you need that tbh. Everything you need to know is established in the first chapter but the way it is done feels so natural, as if it’s just Adora‘s or Catra’s thoughts and I love it. Also the premise is GREAT - Catra has ADHD and smokes weed to help with it, and Adora accidentally takes an edible, which is when shenanigans start to ensue.

6. Dream of Me by DBsean (f) 18,000+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

Although it is on the shorter side with only five chapters, this was another fic that was so so good in quality and premise. For whatever reason, Catra and Adora start sharing dreams, enabling them to share moments together that they (unfortunately) can't have in real life, due to them being on opposite sides of the war, and in turn - enemies. The angst in this fic literally KILLED ME, and the characters dialogue is so good as well! I also recommend you check out some of the authors other fics, they're all great!

7. we've been making shades of purple out of red and blue by darklady21(o) 19,000+ words

[Roomates AU][M]

Another Roomates AU, bUT instead of being best friends, the two barely know each other, or interact at all...GREAT RIGHT?!? Honestly though, I think the author did a great job in making it not seem too rushed, especially in the setup and establishing how although they know each other, they DONT know each other, so the first couple chapters are basically that stage where they are learning more about each other and leaving stupid post it notes around the house, and it just feels so natural and great! Updates aren’t super regular, but there’s already nine chapters (as of writing) so definitely check it out, as well as their other works too!

8. Razorback by Starr_Reborn(o) 22,000+ words

[Canon Divergence AU][M]

Apparently, the author wrote this with the intent of it being fluffy. From the title you can tell that is NOT the case. At all. This one HURTS. This is very very angsty, and also has some themes of rape in it, so if that kinda thing triggers you I might wanna skip out on this one. It is a really good fic though and stands out from a lot of the others because of the way it is written. Chapters aren’t usually longer that 1000 words and the writing style is quite disjointed at times, and it a lot of the time a stream of consciousness. At times it can even be a little confusing or hard to follow, but I find it makes it even more interesting, and also means it will probably be a fic I come back to once completed. It is genuinely so unpredictable, I have no clue where it’s going, but I really love it for that!

9. Sunflower by TechnoSkittles (f) 6000+ words

@technoskittles

[High School AU][G]

Oh, BOY. Oh boyyy. This fic - it's 8 chapters and only 6000 words yet the story is just- Ahhh READ IT. It's so good! And like the author in general is so amazing at writing like check out all their works (especially their latest one shot omg I loved it). Anyway, read this, it's not too long, it's cute and also genuinely surprising, the ending was not something I saw coming AT ALL, so YEAH!

10. I like me better when I'm with you by lesbians_harold(f) 22,000+ words

@lesbians-harold

[High School AU][T]

Just a nice, fun, fluffy high school, friends to lovers AU. Catra moves to Adora’s school senior year and the twos friendship is quickly rekindled, after a rocky start albeit. Adora is a big ol’ jock and Catra draws which is a headcanon I LOVE. It’s written so well, and the characters are also written well too! It is a lil angsty at times, but not to worry - but it does pay off, I assure you.

11. I thought we were best friends by vanilla107 (o) 45,000+ words

@vanilla107

[University AU][T]

Breakups. Lots of breakups, and angst. This one will mend your heart then hurt you. BE SCARED. But go read it. I mean it. It's good!

12. Dirty Dancing by LilLegalLoli94 (o) 9000+ words

@lillegalloli94

[Dancing AU][M]

Basically lots of (sexual) tension after years of not seeing each other because Adora moved to Brightmoon Dance Academy. It's good. Real good.

13. Back to Black by eveynull (f) 6000+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

(Post War) Gays go and visit their past, staring angst, and featuring your favourite co-star - fluff!

14. how things are supposed to be by maggiesbombshell (o) 11,000+ words

@yeunslegacy

[High School AU][M]

A jolly slowburn that will hurt your soul because (internalised) homophobia and gay.

15. Some things you don't see coming by Trashibesensei (o) 20,000+ words

[High School AU][T]

Adora being a big ol' jock, and Catra being a big ol' gay. I’m not even gonna explain it, you have to find that out yourself.

16. A quarter after three by Maychup (o) 11,000+ words

@maychup

[Youtuber AU][M]

Adora's gay panic settles in when she bumps into her childhood bestie, Catra, live streaming in the streets of LA. My favourite part of this fic has to be the YouTube comments she gets. This one will make you laugh. And go AWWW CUTE.

17. A Song to My Heart by DemiRebel (f) 8000+ words

[Neighbors AU][G]

The cute girl next door keeps singing loud, and it sounds BELLE, so what else would you do other than creepily listen?? 10/10 for premise.

18. Occupied by Nny11 4000+ words

@nny11writes

[Modern AU][T]

The most hilarious soulmate AU I've read tbh. One word - bathrooms.

19. Whispering Dreams by dragonesdepapel (f) 7400+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

Adora finds a wounded and sick gay so obviously, she helps her out, much to her protesting. This fic will honestly make you go through the five stages of grief. Big ol' oof.

20. Why you SHOULD bring in your untrained cat to the rebellion by locuas (f) 6800+ words

[Canon Divergence AU][G]

This fic is a literal joke. But it will probably be the best crack you will ever read, so. READ IT.

ALSO HERES A LIL SELF PWOMO OF MY MULTI CHAP:

What drove her insane, 13,000+ words (f)

One shots:

1. hang tight (all you) by TechnoSkittles 9000+ words

@technoskittles

[High School AU][T]

This is a fic that will break your heart and mend it. It's about Adora coming to terms with her sexuality throughout high school in a pretty unsupportive environment, added onto the fact she has a crush on her best friend. It's paced so well, nothing feels rushed and although it's only 9000 words, it manages to flesh out characters that aren't even in the show, and it obviously does a great job with the topic at hand - sexuality and homophobia. Like it honestly touched my heart, reading it I genuinely wanted to cry. I loved everything about it, from the moment it started to the last line. It's just written in a way that is probably relatable to so many people who are or have struggled with coming to terms with themselves, and shows how for some it's really not an easy thing. It's also written beautifully, and I PROMISE you won't regret reading this! Definitely check out some more of their works too, they're all great reads!

2. you're my favorite song (and it's stuck in my head) by artemiswords 16,000+ words

@artemisbye

[High School AU][T]

A belle valentine's day fan fic which I just,, ahhhhh this is some of the best 16k words I've ever read, it's so nice and fluffy! Premise - Catra has to take the bus to school, and ends up sitting next to this cute girl on the bus, Adora, and listening to TayTay (Swift), sharing earphones with this complete stranger. Obviously, Catra develops a crush, but she is sure Adora is straight. It's written so well, and is such an enjoyable read, with so many great moments and dialogue. Music is a very prevalent theme (which you can tell from the name tbh) in it, and the amount of song references in it also make it feel so fleshed out in a way, like their both just teenagers with somewhat questionable music taste. Just all the exchanges they have are great, especially the ones over text and social media, there were so many funny moments too. DEFO, recommend if you wanna read something nice and lighthearted!

3. The Interlude That Never Ends by FMLClexa 2000+ words

Twitter: catrxs

[Historical AU] [M]

Angst. Quite angsty. But also fairly fluffy, it has a good balance. And the writing style is just so - it gets your heart wrenching despite being fairly short, and is also very poetic, and I don't know about you, but I love things like that! The fic is a historical/soulmates AU where they are bound to fall in love, no matter the period they're reincarnated in. It's one of the most creative fic ideas I've ever read, and the concept is executed so well, which makes it even better. And it's, so so damn sweet ahh, read it read it READ IT!

4. is there a knife in your bed or are you just happy to see me? by ceruleanstorm 6000+ words

@princessofgayskull

[Canon Universe][T]

This fic was everythinggg, it is so cute, like it’s basically 6k words of fluff! Also, if you didn’t already notice, the title (and the fic) heavily references the fact Adora keeps a knife under her bed (I DIED when that happened in s2). Set post war, Catra sneaks away from her post to visit an overworked and stressed Adora in Bright Moon and cuteness ensues. I honestly just love everything about this fic, we need more fluffy and funny fics like this! The dynamic the two have in this is perfect and the dialogue and general writing style of it is great! And Adora’s internal dialogue in this honest to god had me dead. Needless to say this is one of my fav Canon Universe one shots.

5.Girl’s Become Lovers (Who Turn Into Mothers) by A_Zap 2000+ words

@azapofinspiration

[Canon Universe][G]

This has to be one of the cutest, well written, fic I’ve read! Catra brings home the only survivors from a tragedy her and Scorpia stumbled upon, but one thing Adora doesn’t expect is for them to be children. The,, emotions in this are so raw and powerful. Even though they obviously have these new little people in their life though, their problems don’t just go away, they still have their own issues, and have to deal with them while looking after these kids. In general they handle mental health so well, and Shadow Weavers lasting effect on Catra SHOWS and it shows hard. Honestly, it made me want to cry at some parts and the ending was EVERYTHING, so reAd IT.

6. baby, i'm a house on fire (and i wanna keep burning) by wittchers 7000+

@huremsultan

[Medival AU]

A really fun fic to read, with a very original premise: after the Horde defeats the kingdom Bright Moon, Hordak is crowned, Queen Angella was killed, and Princess Glimmer is missing, which leaves Lady Adora forced into an arranged marriage with Lord Catra, to keep her people happy. Obviously, being an arranged marriage, with her enemy, she ain’t too happy about it, nor is Catra. But they have to put up with it, and each other. Honestly, like the development of their relationships is sooo good, and there is the perfect balance e of angst and fluff (if you can call it that?) so don’t worry it won’t kill you! Like ahh, the emotions in this - so well described with so little words. And the ending is great, in general it’s great!

7. Adora Casts: Zone of Truth by Hemogobbler 2000+ words

@hemogobbler69

[Canon Universe][T]

Literally just 2000 words of utter cuteness and hilarious dialogue haha. Premise - Catra has just defected recently, and is still warming up to Adora, is still slightly shut off from her. So, to try remedy this, she gets a truth serum from Madame Razz, and slips it into their food, leading to them talking honestly about their feelings for the first time in a while. I just love it so much because I feel like this is genuinely something Adora would do, and also something I’d probably do in her situation - Catra opening up is a rare occurrence! Also, as I said, their are some really funny, laugh out loud moments, which out of context are so weird, yet somehow manage to make a lot of sense. Anyway, if you just had a bad day, I think this fic would definitely lift your spirits.

8. bloom by kimah 4000+ words

Twitter: whitehotmoons

[Modern AU][G]

A post break up fan fic where Catra's therapist suggests Catra write down her feelings, which leads her to write the things she hates about Adora, and their interactions they've had since their break up. The way it's written is so... angsty but like, not? I'm bad at this. Literally, reading this I really felt Catra's pain, and I just wanted to give her a hug at times. Adora too. The small details the author outs into the characters makes the characters all that more realisitic too, and I love it! Seriously though, the angst, will, get, you.

9. I do adore by thankskelley 6000+ words

Twitter: cosmicsporks

[Modern AU][G]

A Catradora fake dating AU. Is there anything more you need in life? Catra and Adora are are roomates, and one day, Adora bursts in, saying she finally came out to her parents, and also that her parent had assumed they are dating... leading her to ask if Catra could pretend to be her girlfriend for while. What could possibly go wrong? Hmm?? I've always loved the whole fake dating premise (to all the boyss) and with characters like Adora and Catra, (especially Catra like she is a TEASE) I always thought it'd be great. Who doesn't love oblivious gays? Their dynamic in this is also great, especially all the flirting and teasing. BUT, of course, it also a bit angsty too. I can promise you you'll love it!

10. Chocolate and Roses vs. Heartache by Trashibesensei 9000+ words

[High School AU][T]

Another high school AU...I know I have a problem leave me alone. This time, if you couldn’t tell by the title, there’s some heartache involved, because: this Valentines Day, Adora doesn’t spend it with her best friend (now ex bestie) Catra. Even despite her popularity that she now has due to being the star player of Bright Moon’s soccer team, she can’t shake of how much she yearns for her old friend. Somehow, even with all the angst, it is still sO fucking FUNNY, the way Mermista was written was great, and she had some of THE best lines. But yeah, it’s so pure and just - Catra needs a hug, Adora needs a hug, they need to hug EACH other tbh! It had a very nice and hopeful message, and also kinda surprised me with the end.

11. someone you like by caela 5000+ words

[High School AU][T]

As a gen z, or x, or whatever the fuck I am, I always appreciate a fic where the characters say stupid shit over Instagram to their crushes which results it getting a date to prom. Although I can assure you that would never happen to me. But this So FUCKING cute and funny so READ.

12. this is what it's like when we collide (this is how you bring me back to life) by azul (7daysoftorture) 5000+ words

@bluelipgloss

[Canon Universe][G]

This galaxy brain fic is amazing and that’s ThE TEA. Catra gets a wish stone from Hordak and we all knowww, WHO she (subconsciously) craves - Adora, which obviously leads to hell breaking loose, because, disaster gays. Anyway read this it’s great and made me feel forget about the cruel world we live in.

13. Five Times Catra was a Cat and One Time the Cat was Catra by sunscreams 2400+ words

@catradoramma

[Canon Universe][T]

A BELLE, well written 5 + 1 which is just pure fluff (some hurt/comfort too) and Catra being Catra (so a loveable pain in the ass) after joining Adora in Bright Moon.

14. Vital Signs by SereneKarma 2000+ words

@serene-karma

[Modern AU][G]

Like a dumbass Catra breaks her leg and gets put in hospital, but hey - it’s okay as long as she’s got a cute nurse to look after her! It’s pretty funny just based on the concept alone so read ThIs BiSh.

15. You put the cracks into my moral code by Littleamethystc 3000+ words

@littleamethystc

[Gang AU][T]

Catra is a hotshot mafia member, Glimmer and Bow are the PoPo, and Adora is underestimated as HELL. It’s also pretty funny, like the whole concept is just perfect, so check it out!

16. The Best Gift I Could Ever Ask For by blueninjasharpshooter 1500+ words

[Modern AU][G]

Just a short n sweet fic of Adora celebrating her birthday which she forgot, and also Adora has a pocket knife in her boot, which is so accurate lmaooo. As well as having the most accurate character portrayals, AWWWWwwwww, was my reaction to the end of this fic, so read it to find out wHY.

17. but i still don’t wish death on ‘em (i just reflect on ‘em) by ayushi_writes 1500+ words

@ayushipop

[Canon Universe][G]

(Post S1) A year after the battle of Bright Moon, Adora and Catra are standing on a cliff, and Catra finally has a chance to end it all. But WilL she?!?! Let’s just say, Catradora are the queens of promises.

18. Whiskey and Eggnog by briony8969 3500+ words

@briony8969

[Modern Christmas AU][G]

A cute Christmas fic where a nervous Adora goes home for the first time in months with her new friends from college, scared of what they’ll think but more scared of a certain SOMEONE she hasn’t spoken to in months. So basically: sexual tension gAlore.

19. She's a Regular by BaronVonChop 1500+ words

@baronvonchop

[Coffee Shop AU][G]

Adora is gay. Catra is gay. Catra works at a coffee shop (badly), and Adora goes to said coffee shop soo much, that it gets on her friends nerves, coz she very obviously likes to flirt with a Catra. It’s funny too. That’s it. That’s the fic and I love it.

20. Hand in Hand, We Make Our Way to The End by thethirdphiladelphiavireo 6500+ words

[Canon Universe - Soulmate AU][T]

Catra and Adora figure out they are soulmates after years of not knowing what it meant, but OBVIOUSLY, cannot communicate like mature humans, because - same.

21. How Do You Tell A Girl You Really Like Her Eyes? by Gay_Panic 1000+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

(Pre Canon)Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, a very gay, very wholesome, very nice first kiss fic. They are very gay for each other in this one, they don’t even care if KYLE catches them kissing.

22. Tender Moments by yesimgay 1500+ words

[Canon Universe][G]

(Post-war) Catra still feels guilty about everything she did to Adora in the past, so instead of sleeping at the foot of the bed as usual , she decides to sleep next to Adora...So there’s fluff, lots of fluff, and it is very tender.

23. Perfectly intertwined by dragonesdepapel 2000+ words

[Canon Universe][G]

On Catra’s first official day in Bright Moon, Adora drags her to a festival and they do cute things and it’s cute, and you should defo read it.

24. a girl without freckles is like a sky without stars by dear_universe 900+ words

@catralovesgirls

[Canon Universe][G]

More bed sharing because I CANNOT help myself, I love fics like these! Catra can’t sleep without Adora on her first night at the rebellion, so, she knocks on Adora’s door and things go from there.

25. Something to remember you by by DBsean 3000+ words

[Canon Universe][G]

Adora sneaks back into the fright zone in attempt to retrieve something, when Catra catches her. It’s cute af. Despite the circumstances.

26. Skiffs & Ships by mysteryinc 900+ words

[Canon Universe][G]

(Pre-show) Just two gals being pals who missed each other a fuck ton while on separate missions. It’s pretty cute.

27. Starstruck by InvisiblePinkToast 2500+ words

@invisible-pink-toast

[Canon Universe][G]

(Pre-show) A lil bit of angst, and nightmares, and a little bit of fluff, Stargazing and bed sharing - what more could you need?

28. a truth so loud you can't ignore by adverbialstarlight 2500+ words

@adverbialstarlight

[High School AU][T]

Catra ignores the growing feelings she has for her best friend, until the truth is so loud she can’t ignore it (see what I did there?) But for real tho this fic really gave me angst that hurt my soul then fluff that healed it, so we StAN.

29. Horde kids are just Like That by gerti 1500+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

(Canon Divergence) What would happen if when Adora defected the Horde, her and Catra where still girlfriends? Read this to find out because it’s FUCKING hilarious lmaoooo, like it’s so absurd but somehow still makes perfect sense.

30. The First Step by oldmountainsoul 2900+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

(Post S1) Apologies which end in getting shoved out off trees are now exclusively for the Catradora fandom only.

31. (You’re My) Haven by giraffewrites 400+ words

@giraffewrites

[Canon Universe - Pre Canon][G]

(Pre-Canon) Adora only kisses Catra when she thinks she’s asleep, but my girl Catra ain’t playing no more so one night she just goes in for the KILL, Aka, cute dorks just being cute dorks.

32. Beyond the Screen by SereneKarma 5000+ words

@serene-karma

[Youtuber AU][G]

If you can't tell I really like YouTuber AU's. Catra being the angsty gal she is starts a YouTube channel to rant about her old best friend who practically vanished when she was 15, and her viewers (who definitely have no life) end up finding her.

33. come on, sugar, don't you leave early by thesqian 1500+ words

Twitter: @crnkgmeplys

[Modern AU][G]

Two gays at a gay wedding, who clearly have some shit going on, but it’s okay because gay weddings always bring gays together. I said gay a lot in that sentence. Read the fic, it’s short n sweet and cute, so you can’t go wrong!

34. but we could never stay away (from each other) by adorassword 1500+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

Catra and Adora have a nice, not so nice chit chat on Adora’s balcony late at night, - these two need LOVE, and I needed a hug after reading this coz damn. Damn.

35. bad ideas by ranpoandpoe 1000+ words

[University AU][T]

How we all wish thinking about your crush at 2am would go. That’s the only context I’m giving, so READ IT.

Also, here are some of my fav one shots I’ve written:

Two Sides Of The Same Coin 1000+ words

[Gang AU][T]

If I was perfect 2500+ words

[Modern AU][T]

And check out my Catradora week series, however my fav is:

damn you, unrequited love 7000+ words

[Modern/Sixth Form AU][T]

Here are some more series packed with fics that I’ve really enjoyed too!

Catradora Oneshots by clicheusername5678 @hey-adora

Catradora Tumblr Prompts BY sunscreams @catradoramma

if I grind my teeth at night, would you hear it? By poetroe

in the bottom of a coffee cup + pieces by inkwelled (their stuff is great)

Twitter: adorascatrq

Anyway, I hope you guys appreciate this, it took quite a while lol. I had a lot of fun making it, and I hope you check out some of the fics on the list (maybe all if you're a crazy mf)

Until next time (:

#micah n spop #spop #she-ra #she ra and the princesses of power #catradora #fic recs #micahs fic recs #micahs recs #adora #catra #spop catra #spop adora #fan fics #she ra netflix #i ship

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