at some point i will figure out how to write the post-canon, post-empire edelgard autonomy fic of my dreams. it just feels like a very big task and maybe like with playing the dane, i’m simply not old and traumatized enough to manage it yet.
but my vision is thus: it’s set years (realistically, decades) after the end of crimson flower, when everything has gone as right as it can possibly go. fódlan is thriving. the social reforms have taken effect. the nobility system is nearly eliminated, if not entirely so, with titles made merely symbolic. social mobility, welfare, and prosperity are high. there’s an explosion in arts and culture and technology. brigid and duscur have gained independence; relations with sreng and almyra are much improved; heck, maybe they've even figured it out with dagda. in my most idealistic version, leicester and faerghus would eventually be ceded back to become autonomous regions, essentially disbanding the adrestian empire. rule is no longer hereditary, but merit-based. there's a roadmap for the future, and everything is on track—and more than that, people at all points on the power spectrum have already seen it bear fruit. with or without edelgard, it will be pursued. there's buy-in. they believe.
of course, it's not perfect—nothing can be—but edelgard's vision has been fulfilled. the people are empowered. humanity is free. fódlan has healed.
and somehow, she's had enough time to resolve her goals outside of politics, too. those who slither in the dark have been eradicated. edelgard and lysithea's second crests have been successfully removed, allowing them to live if not full lives, then substantially longer ones than they would have with their twin crests intact. who knows—maybe she finally gets around to having that wedding.
point for point, every item listed in edelgard's manifesto has been checked off. the ghosts of her past have been laid to rest. she can finally take off her crown. she can finally pursue the quiet, humble life she's wanted for so long. she can finally breathe.
... but can she?
edelgard is nothing if not driven. her intelligence, vision, and sheer willpower allowed her to plan and execute a revolution against two countries and the most powerful institution on the continent, all while she was still a teenager. as royalty, her life was never truly hers even before she became heir to the adrestian throne, with all the additional baggage of survivor's guilt and the desire for vengeance and her need to ensure nothing that happened to her can ever happen to anyone else, ever again.
so what happens when that drive has no outlet? what happens when someone who has been constantly in motion, constantly working and planning and preparing every spare second of every day since she was fourteen years old, suddenly has to stand still? what happens when someone whose hands have been bound for so long—first literally in the dungeons of enbarr, then by the weight and responsibilities of her crown—is set free?
being edelgard, she would step away from the throne, no matter how hard it was for her to give up control. she's always been focused on the endgame, and she knows that if she doesn't let go, she'll be setting the wrong tone for fódlan's future. she's too devoted to that endgame to cling to power much longer than she needs to, though i could see her making some excuses and trying to iron out just a few more things to buy herself some more time to mentally prepare before she's done for good.
but who would she be then? who is the woman without the crown? what becomes of a machine once it is no longer needed, when it has made itself obsolete? what about when that machine is a person with legs and arms and an innate unwillingness to gather dust on a shelf?
what happens when you get everything you want? what happens when all your wanting has been for others to thrive, and now you have to want only for yourself? how do you discover who you are when you've spent decades being everything for everyone else? how do you find meaning again? how do you find purpose?
after a lifetime of devotion and passion and movement, how do you learn to sit with yourself, and be quiet, and be still?
gosh, i would love to meet her. i would love to pick her brain. but boy, i do not envy the work that girl has to do.
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in honour of this post, tags on another of mine i cannot remember that talked briefly about Rayla's issues, and that I've talked about Claudia and Callum's moments of being hypocritical, now I want to actually talk about Rayla's hypocritical tendencies cause it's something S4 and S5 made a fun little consistency - let's dive in
Rayla can sometimes ignore (or react indignantly to) other people possibly having their own reasons/justifications because she's tunnel visioned into only thinking about her own justifications as uniquely warranted
Let me explain
The first time I noticed this was in 2x03, mostly because it was one of those moments that made me laugh even though it's not trying to be funny because
Cause Rayla, honey, you know you lied to them too ("lying and hiding the truth aren't that different") - and Callum forgave you for that and is still your friend. Why would Claudia and Soren be any different to him? (And they are, but not the point of this point).
Now, unlike Soren (who is the person they're primarily discussing), Rayla didn't lie outright, but she did lie by omission - much the same way Claudia did. And Rayla has known her own motivations all along - probably worried they might give up on their mission if they knew (especially at the start), and she doesn't want them to hate her, and most of all by this point in the show, she didn't want to hurt them ("I'm afraid of hurting him" / "when you care about someone, it's hard to hurt them").
This made sense to me in terms of Rayla being good at being initially (often times rightfully, sometimes not so) indignant on her own behalf. She is able to justify herself and does so often, both angrily - as the next examples will show - and more neutrally ("How could I take his life?"). She defends herself both physically and personally to Corvus ("I didn't kill anyone"), she smarts at Callum when he (rightfully) tries to push at her ("I don't have to explain anything to you"), and is mad at Ethari when they initially talk ("Yeah, it's me. Surprised to see my face?"). This initial defense of herself doesn't usually persist and typically gives way to self loathing ("I can fix this" / "I don't deserve your trust, not yet" / "They're right to reject me") but it is there at first and is usually her first reaction, which is very fun.
However, this coupled together with the other two instances arc 2 brings up in terms of her being kind of a hypocrite makes it a pattern, beginning in early season four. (Callum also isn't at his best in early season four, saying he doesn't want to talk about stuff and then bringing it up the next episode to take a jab at her - but he's still dealing with the fallout of the problems she caused, so he absolutely gets more of a pass. As always, see my In Defense of Callum's Narrative Lens from way back in the day if you're interested in more of how his perspectives are portrayed.)
Because gee, Rayla, I wonder whose fault that is? And again, it does make sense that she's angry - she's spent two years just wanting to be with him with none of the messy complex heartbreak he had to go through because she was the one who made the choice to leave. She expected him to at least shout at her, not ice her out completely. And again, we see that initial indignant streak fade when he reiterates he wants to go, and she looks down disappointed, but accepting of it (and puts whether she'll stay or not in his hands, too).
Since she had a good reason for leaving, and it's what her parents did, while she expected anger, she also wants affection and love. Isn't her justification enough, in some ways? Shouldn't it be? And while Rayla wrestled back and forth with this, it's clear she does think that it should be (even if both seasons show she's starting to realize just why she was wrong).
But we do see this hypocritical tendency of hers perhaps pop up most prominently in S5 with Nyx
Again, in Rayla's head, lying and stealing the key wasn't perhaps the right thing to do, but the better thing to do than burden Callum with what she was going through / to be open and vulnerable. It makes sense why she'd do so - and her shot at Nyx gets a tiny pass cause she's technically sticking up for Ezran - but it still falls back on Rayla leaning too heavily on her logic / independent streak to justify actions that are actually counterproductive to having healthy, wilfully open relationships.
And this is something I love about TDP. Even when the characters are genuinely making the worst possible fucking decisions they ever could (hi arc 1 Viren, Claudia and Karim constantly in particular) you completely understand how and why they're justifying those decisions, and Rayla is no different. Doesn't mean they're right, doesn't mean it's not logically stupid or fair or whatever, but it's emotionally consistent, and that's what matters most in the end. And now we have a fun little consistency to add to the pile
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hi ik you don’t really do prompt rn but could we have some soft billdip hcs/drabble (or as soft as these two can get)? i’m a sucker for the way you write them and your works have genuinely helped me through the past weeks. even if not thank you for your works bc mmmm idk how you do it it’s just *chefs kiss* (:
Have some soft headcanons, then!
The first time Bill and Dipper took a bath together wasn't.... really a bath, per se. They'd probably run afoul of some supernatural skunk thing and had to soak in tomato juice, bickering about whose fault it was. The times they actually bathed together usually ended in water fights. Dipper half-drowned a couple times; Bill plays rough.
They've since settled down a bit! These days, the times they sink into one of Bill's hedonistic baths in his pyramid are pretty relaxing times to chat and flirt with each other.
And if Dipper's very sick or injured, Bill might even pick him up and set him in a warm bath, while taking charge of all the scrubbing down and rinsing of the pitiful mortal. While grumbling a little, but still!
Bill can cook. The trouble is getting him to stop adding ingredients that 'make things interesting', or go more along demonic culinary tastes - But he could, theoretically, make a decent meal. This is an uphill battle, since Bill's convinced following human recipes is boring and dumb. Dipper may even win it one day.
A fun fact that Dipper may or may not have learned by now is that Bill can purr! For the same reasons a cat might - calm, content, and relaxed.
However, Bill also hasn't done it in forever. For that kind of thing to happen, he'd have to be really content - to the point where let his guard down completely. Which I don't imagine he's done in basically.... eons? For all that he's had happy Party Times and pleased Winning Times and even Chill times, it's pretty impossible to ever really stop watching your back in the demon realm.
But say. After a great day. One where Bill's just won something, he's done something clever to pat himself on the back about, and he gets to chill with his husband in bed while Dipper rubs his back - just a calm, domestic-ish hangout where they're chilling - Dipper might feel and hear that rumbling start up. To his great surprise.
(And Bill's. He genuinely can't remember the last time that old instinct kicked in; it's unsettling.)
Here is what I imagine a triangle purring sounds like. It's more big-cat-like in the human body.
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We need more dressage AU because it’s a great story! 😁
What if Thena comes to the stall and hears Gil angrily discussing with another rider how it’s not okay what kind of hurtful and abusive methods he uses on his horse? And how he can’t let him continue to train with his horse since it got nasty injuries? 😳
"I'm telling you to take today off, he needs to rest!"
"I don't pay you to give me advice, I pay you to groom my damn horse!"
"You don't pay me at all!"
Thena picked up her pace from a brisk walk to a canter. She didn't like the sound of whatever was happening in the stables, and however it involved Gil.
"I pay the club fee, which pays your salary, stable boy!" the rider in question pointed out in a very haughty and yet also incorrect way. "So as far as I'm concerned, either you fit him with new shoes, or I'll find someone who will!"
"He wouldn't need new horseshoes if you hadn't have driven him into the ground!" Gilgamesh argued, not one to be intimidated by some rich boy. "You're not feeding him properly, you're letting him knock into hurdles that are too high, spraining his joints, it's gonna get him hurt!"
"It's a horse!" he spat back in Gil's face. "It's supposed to jump hurdles, that's the whole point of this place!"
"What is happening in here?!"
"Ah," the rider turned to her with an unfortunately familiar smile, "Thena, my lovely."
"Eros," she scowled, walking over to Gil's side, "what are you harassing Gil over?"
Reminded of the problem at hand, but also wanting to keep up his more charming charade, Eros shook his head. "Nothing to fret over, my love. The stable hand seems to be questioning if he should fit Pip with some new horseshoes. I insisted, but-"
"Eros, Gil is right," Thena told him in no uncertain circumstance. She put her hands on her hips, "Pip has been training nonstop and you're bound to run him ragged at this rate."
Eros kept an even expression on, but the faint twitch in his eye betrayed him. "Pip is a trained animal, my sweet. I'm sure he can handle standard training."
"It's past standard," Thena argued in the horse Pip's defense (despite the way he, like his rider, liked to invade Olympia's personal space). She shook her head, "Pip hasn't had a single afternoon off this week, and he's eating half the calcium Olympia is. You can't go on at this rate."
"I-"
"He," Thena corrected, holding her palm up to stop Eros before he could get even more on her nerves. "He can't go on at this rate."
"Thena," Eros tutted, "I know Pip is not a champion to Olympia's degree, but that is the purpose of pushing him."
"There is such a thing as pushing too hard."
"That's what I'm saying," Gil huffed, also crossing his arms.
Eros gave Gil a much - much - more derisive look. "Listen, mate, it's one thing for Thena and I to discuss our horse care. It's your job to carry out what we want done, isn't it?"
"Actually," Thena glared, even taking a step forward. "Gil is the expert, far exceeding our knowledge. If he had advice about your horse, you should be listening."
"Thena-"
"We're lucky to have a caretaker who actually cares about our horses' health!" Thena moved from speaking firmly to raising her voice, taking another step into Eros' space. "We know about what our horses can do, but he knows about what they shouldn't! He's the one who mixes their food and sources the ingredients and grooms them and cares for their hooves! We wouldn't place in anything if not for him!"
Eros blinked. Thena was leaning forward but far from face to face with him, given their difference in height. He did step back, though, and straightened his riding jacket. "I didn't realise our stable hand had such a devoted ally."
Thena narrowed her eyes at him. She refused to rise to his hackles; she refused to be an 'Ikaris' about this. "His name is Gilgamesh. And officially, his title is stable manager!"
"I see," Eros conceded, and yet still sounded like he was saying something condescending. He straightened his cuffs with their shimmering gold button. "I have no desire to be on your bad side, mi amore. So I will be off. Please, do as you see fit Mister...Gilgamesh."
Thena and Gil both watched as Eros strode out of the stables as if he had won something in their petty little argument (over his horse no less!). She huffed, "such a prick."
Gil snorted in the middle of trying not to laugh too loudly. He nudged her arm with his elbow, "I'm not allowed to say it...but I can agree when you say it."
"Agree all you like," Thena murmured, still glaring in the direction of the exit until Eros was assuredly out of sight. She huffed and uncrossed her arms. "He's always that insufferable too."
"I feel bad for Pip," Gil rubbed the back of his neck as he started moving towards the stall where said horse had overheard everything (and not attempted to come to his rider's defense once).
"I don't," Thena deadpanned, and Gil did laugh outright this time. She smiled, "it's not his fault, it's Eros' influence on him."
Pip was a brown furred and somewhat mangy looking horse, despite his rider's immaculate coif. He turned, immediately flipping his tail and whinnying.
"Olympia isn't with me, you menace," Thena immediately shot down the horse's excitement to see her horse with her.
Pip looked forward again, as dejected as a horse could look. He huffed.
Thena rolled her eyes. Both Eros and Pip loved sidling up into hers and Olympia's personal space to try out their charms, limited as they were. "Honestly, get those aged shoes off of him, leave them off. If Eros complains that he's not practice ready I'll handle him personally."
Gil chuckled, retrieving the necessary tools to pry up the horseshoes that were a little overdue to come off. "I would love to see that."
"I think everyone would, honestly."
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