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waywardfacegarden · 6 years

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Broken Souls

I’m trying to post this on Ao3 but I have tried to do it like 50 times and it doesn’t get posted, so. Okay. I’m gonna post it here.

This is the first chapter of a multi-fic to my friend @lesbiankankuro!!! I love you girl!! Happy Birthday!! You’re awesome!!

Summary: Who says soulmates stories have to be perfect? Who says everything will work out since the beginning? Who says it won't be hard and tough all the way until you finally meet them and after you meet them? Who says it will be easy?

Sasuke and Naruto. The not so conventional soulmates. The pretty boy, misterious, full of secrets, hide under couples of shadows; the favorite between the girls, prodigy and survivor of the prestigious Uchiha family and The 2007 Tragedy. And the fool, clumsy, clown of the classroom, dead-last. The newbie that came to town too late and that no one knows why. Full of secrets too, full of demons too.Sounds like a pretty unmatched pair, doesn't it?Their story is not perfect, not even near. But they're perfect for each other.

In a world where, in some way, the cosmic dust (the space matter, the one that composes you, the one that mixes with each fiber of your being), is impregnated like ink on your skin when another person cries because, inexplicably, the chemicals in your brain are connected to that other person, meet Sasuke. Meet Naruto.

The story of two broken souls who need each other to heal.

The story of two broken boys who find each other and fall in love.

Notes: Hey! First of all, this fanfic is dedicated to my friend Rav! She is totally amazing and today is her birthday! So if I can’t go and see her to give her a hug or something, at least I tried to write something! I love you, dipshit, you know! Thanks for everything you've done for me and I really hope you enjoy this! It's a long journey and I really don’t know if I'm doing this right, but I really tried! You know you are super special to me!

This originally started as a one-shot but, lucky me, it became too long and tedious to write in a single chapter, so I decided to expand it and write a multi-chapter! My first, in fact! I have everything planned and some scenes from other chapters written already, especially the last one, so I hope to finish it and update very soon! I don’t think it will be longer than 5 chapters. I hope so. However, the updates may not be as fast as I hope they are, because the school starts in a week and totally consumes me and I usually need a lot of time to write a single chapter. I worked hard in a week of holidays to be able to finish this alone. So, if I'm late, I apologize in advance and I hope you have patience! Thank you very much for understanding!

Like I said, it's my first fanfic of several chapters so I'm not sure what I'm doing with this. It is a soulmate au, like it says in the tags, a very unconventional one since the center of the story is that, but at the same time it’s not. If that makes any sense, hah. The fic will be more focused on how their relationship grows until they both realize that, in fact, they are soulmates in this crazy world. It's in my style (though I feel like is very different from my usual stuff) and probably very lazy and boring at first (and along until the end) but well! Here it is! And I hope you enjoy it!

Thank you for reading! Let me know your opinion in the comments!

(Sidenote: I have not written for a long time, so I am very rusty, sorry for the rustic and coarse writing style, I hope to improve as I continue.)

Clarifications: I have no idea how the Japanese educational system works, neither a school in Japan, and, although I know I could certainly have researched, I was more comfortable handling the system in America, since it is more familiar to me. I hope it doesn’t bother you.

The school cycles managed here are semi-annual, as in my school, and they cover from August to December and from February to the beginning of June (based on my school located in Mexico, I apologize if there are confusions).

The name of the Annual Konoha Tournament is "will of fire" in Japanese, but because my Japanese is terrible and I have no knowledge of it I used a translator. Correct me if there is an error, thank you.

Obviously Konoha doesn’t exist in real life, but I have decided that in this world Konoha exists and is a semi-Asian county located in some state of America after the agreement made in the "Civil War of Japan" and vs USA in the Second War World in 1945. (Obviously all this is a mixture of real story and fiction /more fiction/ but I hope it's not confusing for any of you!)

Madara’s death (who dies before Hashirama) according to wiki is still unknown and there are no official dates, but I needed it to be by that date, so it was the one I used (this can be confusing but you will all know what I’m talking about when you start reading!)

Excuse my vague knowledge of sports and martial arts too. I did what I could.

The huge amount of parallels with the canon is because I love doing that, heh. I hope it doesn’t bother you and I hope there is not much ooc around here! I really tried to make it as close as possible to their characterization in canon!

Any question about something that is not understandable is received! I'll gladly answer unless I know it's a spoiler! Thanks again for reading!Oh! And! Also! English is not my first language and this not beta-it, so. Sorry for any grammar mistakes guys! I tried my best!

Prologue.

Around the world, along with the time, there have been said and discussed endless things about the soulmates. It is talked about in science, mathematics, astronomy and its respective branches. Spiritually or even religiously. Is talked about energy, the universe, the cosmos. About atoms, chemicals, magnetism. How it is mathematically and scientifically impossible, even stupid. Is talked about angels and souls and reincarnations. About other worlds and parallel universes and particles. About other lives, past lives, cosmic or spiritual or astral connections. Is talked about the creation of the world. About God.

It is explained or refuted by crazy and gimmicky and outlandish and incoherent theories and ramblings. They shout and murmur arguments and essays and thousands of letters and facts and words and ideas.

The truth is, though, the concept of soulmates is controversial. Credible, not credible. Coherent, logical, inexplicable. Crazy, stupid, meaningless, wonderful.

It's all those things.

A soulmate is a crazy concept. Wild. Brilliant. Wonderful. Unbelievable.

But it exists.

In a world.

In this world.

Unpredictable. Crazy. Inexplicable. Probably even ridiculous.

But possible.

Not everyone has one.

A soulmate.

Others have it but it died a long time ago. Years ago.

Others have it and it still is not born when they come into the world.

Others have two.

Sometimes, soulmates don’t like each other like that; but they work, they connect, in another way. They have a role in each other’s lives. They are attracted to each other and they turn and dance around for their whole life until they meet because they work like a magnetic field and powdered iron.

It's complicated.

It's not as easy as they paint it in the movies.

Comments fly and they become dust and travel and the world hears them.

“You don’t understand your soulmate all the time and it doesn’t work as you always think.” They say. “Sometimes it is not what you expect. Sometimes it is much more complicated than it seems. Sometimes they just don’t connect the way you would want them to. Sometimes life revolves and they die and you never get to see each other.” They whisper. They scream.

Sometimes you two never meet.

It's strange.

It's hard.

It's new and it turns your stomach in a knot and you feel your head spinning and you feel on the peak of a cliff about to fall.

It is much deeper than a simple word or concept or explanation allows you to see.

A soulmate is not exactly what you want. It is what you need.

It is the gift of the universe to you.

Naruto longs for a soulmate.

With all the problems.

With all the smiles and laughter.

With everything.

Ero Sennin tells him stories about soulmates all the time. He tells him how it feels to have one and how it feels the ink that bathes your skin. He shows him the flowers that fill his wrists and dance between his fingers. He tells him how his parents were kindred spirits and shows him pictures of them smiling side by side.

Naruto asks questions. Naruto observes.

Naruto looks at how he looks at Baa-chan with dreamy, dazzling and dancing eyes and doesn’t understand it at all. He looks at him as he smiles at her with soft edges and looks perhaps too long at the way she picks up her hair or the way she sits or the way she laughs. He looks at him while he keeps looking at her while she is not looking back.

He silently watches him as he pursues her and tries to make her laugh. He watches him try so hard.

He watches him smile brightly as he looks at his flowers.

And he looks while Baa-chan only looks sad when looking at hers.

Distant. Taciturn.

He looks and doesn’t understand it.

Until he does.

Years later.

The first time his soulmate cries, the sky does too.

The first time his skin fills with swirls of colors and the ink marks his right wrist with delicate strokes, the sky is screaming.

It rains outside. It rains like it hasn’t rained in months. The sky is dark and the clouds dance in the sky like giant cottons bathed in a pale gray. It's raining and Naruto is only five years old and the world revolves a little around him.

He can feel it burn on his skin. The way the ink burns and itches on the back of his wrist. It hurts a little. Not too much, but enough to notice. It leaves a stinging after the flower is outlined on his skin. The petals touching part of his hand, the center at the point where it connects with his arm.

It is bright blue.

It is pretty.

His soulmate should be very pretty too.

His first flower is a rose.

A blue rose.

His knees sting a little when he falls into the ground. There are tears that threaten to fall on the edge of his eyes, and everything looks very blurry, but Naruto rubs his small fist hard on his eyelids and forces himself not to let them fall. He pushes himself to his feet and two seconds later there is a foot that is pushing him back towards the ground.

There is laughter around him and the children say cruel things as they kick the dirt out of the yard in his face, in his eyes.

Everything is very blurry. And it hurts. On his chest, on the trail of blood that falls on his knees. But more than anything, he is angry.

Naruto screams back, Naruto screams back as they laugh at him, but the others don’t listen to it. He screams, the anger bubbling in the back of his throat, because it bothers him, because it's unfair, and because he's going to kick everybody's ass, they're going to see, he's going to—

They laugh at him.

They laugh and laugh and laugh and the laughter echoes inside the walls of his mind and it hurts.

It hurts, and it bothers him that it hurts.

He keeps screaming even when the kids have left, with their mocking smiles and their faces of disgust and their eyes that reject him, that judge him, that consume him.

And it hurts, but it is more anger (that burns, that ravages everything inside of him) than pain.

He clenches his fists, he stands up. The kids are no longer there but his face still has dirt and the warm blood continues to slide slowly below his knees.

Adults who walk around send him harsh, disgusted looks over their shoulders, as if he were something unpleasant in the middle of their path.

They don’t help him.

They never do.

And he comes home with a new scratch and a new bruise and more pain and anger that makes a hole in his chest and rumbles throughout his body. And there is the angry look on Baa-chan’s face, not with him, but with others, dying in concern as she carefully cleans his wounds. There is Ero-sennin again, trying to smile without the smile reaching his eyes.

And it happens again.

And again and again and again and again.

For a long time, Naruto doesn’t understand why everyone looks at him that way. With disdain, with mockery, with disgust.

He doesn’t understand why they hate him.

He didn’t do anything, did he?

For a long time, Naruto feels angry. Feels pain.

The world is hard. It makes you fall and it drags you on your feet a couple of times.

Naruto knows it since an early age. He savors it in his mouth.

But if there is something that Baa-chan and Ero-sennin have taught him, if there is something that his own spirit has taught him, it is to keep his head held high. It is to resist breaking, even when the world is breaking you with everything it has to push you down.

So he does it. He gets up again and fights back and doesn’t cry in front of others, even if it hurts.

Over time, he also stops crying in solitude.

Over time, he learns to not feel so alone. He learns to never give up.

The second flower appears in his skin when he’s six years old. It is painted on his left arm this time, just right in the inner elbow.

It is also blue.

It is also beautiful.

There is a shower, a spate of flowers a few months after he’s seven years old.

On his back, on his stomach, on his shoulders, on one of his collarbones.

They are all blue. Of different sizes, different petals, different pain.

They are all beautiful and pretty too.

The shower of flowers stops when he turns eight.

No flower even shows up again.

Not in weeks, not in months, not in years.

Until it does again.

When he’s fifteen.

Looking back, Sasuke always had something that attracted Naruto in an almost inexplicable way. Whether it was in a negative or positive way, there was always something about him that caught Naruto's attention as the magnet attracted the metal. Since the beginning. And looking back again, Naruto seemed to attract Sasuke somehow as well. Both circulating and dancing around each other even without the other knowing, consciously and unconsciously.

So maybe it's not that weird. Maybe a part of him always knew and the other was denying it.

"Baka, that's my seat!" When Naruto looks up, with his chin still resting on his crossed arms in the desk, he meets some familiar, pretty, big green eyes and soft pink hair falling in waves behind thin shoulders.

"Sakura!" He can hear the tinge of hope, happy and sparkling, tinting his own voice as he raises his head to where she is crouching. Her green eyes move with annoyance towards him and her crossed arms tighten on her chest as she begins to rattle the ground with one of her feet. It's an habit she has when she's irritated, Naruto knows it.

"I said, you're in my seat, baka, move."

Naruto is about to answer about how beautiful she looks with that new ribbon when a shrill voice echoes behind them.

"Excuse me, did I hear well? Did you say that this is your seat? It seems that your big forehead is finally affecting you, Sakura, because I think that's my seat."

Sakura raises her eyes to where the blonde girl looks at her with a mocking smile behind him. Naruto can see the murderous aura that begins to emerge in wisps of steam out of her; one of her strands of pink hair falling carelessly over her face. His long fingers twitch in fists at the sides of her body and Naruto hears her growl "Ino" in a tone that reminds him of long nails making contact when sweeping over a chalk board and (as much as he did not want to compare the girl of his dreams with an animal) probably to the low growl that a wolf or lion makes when it has located its prey (or in other words: strident, dangerous, a little alarming) before leaning over Naruto's head and clash her forehead with the other girl’s, who continues smiling, without flinching in the least.

"This is my seat, Ino-pig."

"I don’t see your name written on it."

It's amazing how one's voice can sound so annoying and the other so sparkling. Ino seems to enjoy every time she makes Sakura angry. She even seems happier now that she has a smoking Sakura a centimeter from her face. Her blue eyes shine amused.

"Ugh," Sakura groans. "You only want it because I want it! What is your problem?"

Ino does not take her eyes off of her. Her smile does not waver, not even a little, but it takes a more crooked turn when she says:

"You only want it because Sasuke is next to it."

At the mention of the bastard, Naruto collapses a little on his seat. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. Why does everything have to do with him? Why would someone want to sit next to him? Why does Sakura want to sit next to him? What does everyone see in him?

"Hey! If they are fighting for the place next to Sasuke, then I got here first, so technically..." begins to say a girl whom Naruto does not remember her name.

"I arrived before you! The place next to Sasuke is mine then!"

Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke.

What the hell do the girls see in him?

Naruto keeps thinking, annoyed, and doesn’t realize that he has stood up and is grunting inconsistencies between his teeth until Sasuke's dark eyes look straight at him.

Huh? Why is him so close? When did he get there? Why is he in front of Sasuke's seat so suddenly? When did he stand up?

Stupid Sasuke. It makes his brain stop working well.

"Any problem, dobe?"

The way he says the nickname is almost condescending, and that's another problem (another, besides his stupid hair with the shape of a duck tail and his stupid pretty-boy-face and his stupid eyes that are always looking at you like he’s better than you and his countless list of stupid things in which, in fact, he was better than him, the bastard), Sasuke likes to provoke him. He likes to make him angry. For some reason. What is, if not, the explanation that he is always calling him silly nicknames and showing off that he is better than him in everything? (Because yes, he does show off that he is better than him. Someone can’t be that perfect at everything and not expect that the worst in class to notice and humiliate himself in front of everyone. Sasuke had to be winning in everything in order to make him feel bad, is obvious.)

"Teme..." he growls, hands hard on his desk as he leans towards him. He challenges him with his eyes. He does not even know what he's exactly challenging him to, but he must be challenging something, right? That's what rivals do. And Sasuke is Naruto's rival self-proclaimed by Naruto himself, so yes, he must be challenging him to something, whatever it is.

But of course, Sasuke doesn’t even back up a bit. Not an inch, not a millimeter, and his eyes are implacable, inflexible, untamable. They don’t give in or falter or hesitate; fixed on him as if they want to engrave something there where they look.

"Naruto! Stop looking at Sasuke like that!"

"Baka! Get away from him!"

"Teach him a lesson, Sasuke!"

Naruto barely registers the voices that scream and begin to explode around him when they realize the fight of looks in which they are. For some reason, the only thing he can focus on is Sasuke and the feeling that begins to flow through his veins, through his skin. It happens every time he has to compete with the bastard. It's strange. In addition to the irritation and annoyance and anger that he makes him feel... Sasuke also lights that other thing inside of him. The adrenaline. Raw and hot that begins to bubble inside of him. That makes him want to fight and compete with him all the time.

But then. Then it happens.

The detonator.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I hit you?"

Pulling the trigger.

Everything stops. Because Sasuke is right in front of him and Naruto moves so fast until he closes the small distance between them and collides with him.

And they kiss.

It lasts a very short time (although little more than acceptable, but he was surprised, okay? Give him a break) and is clumsy and without technique and Sasuke's lips are cracked against his own (points for getting something in which he is not perfect, points less for the way he got it). You can see his eyes expand a fraction before returning to his normal size, and his lashes flap, long, of the color of ink, above his pale eyelids. His skin is very pale.

The room is silent. Cloudy silence.

The kind of silence that is there before a storm breaks out.

The kind of calm is there before a hurricane.

And there is a hurricane.

The moment they manage to react, the moment Naruto manages to make his brain work again and break back (too fast, too abrupt. No lying, his neck actually cracks a bit), everything is still, as if any sudden movement can break the fragile ice on which they hang.

Sasuke looks at him.

He does not seem angry or annoyed or irritated or happy or... nothing.

He just looks at him. Stares at him.

And Naruto swears he seems a bit surprised, even confused, but before he can discern what might be going through his head, the murderous aura that he felt emanate from Sakura's pores a few moments ago comes back in waves much stronger and falls straight on him. His skin bristles.

Looking to the side, a group of girls are looking at him as if they want to tear off every limb of his body and eat it later.

Sakura is in the center.

The warning of danger that begins to ring loudly in his brain is enough to break— anything strange that was there before.

"Naruto! I should have been Sasuke's first kiss!"

Oh no.

And for some reason, that is just the moment when things start to change.

Don’t misunderstand. Sasuke was already an annoying, smug bastard with a stupid hairstyle before the kiss, but now Naruto feels that weird thing in his stomach every time he is too close to him.

Is annoying.

It makes him more angry.

He supposes that it is disgust in some way, because that kiss was Sakura's. Sasuke had no right to take it.

But whatever it is, whatever it was, Sasuke is his first kiss, and that irritates him (maybe much more than it should) a lot.

Sasuke Uchiha is his first kiss.

Just thinking about it stirs his stomach strangely.

God damn.

Sasuke is already better than him in everything (in the classes, in P.E., in the art club, the martial arts club, the literature club… even his eyesight is better, his stupid eyes that can see the letters of the poster on the other side of the soccer field), even if it costs him and it bothers him to admit it.

Did he also have to take this from him?

That bastard.

Iruka sensei hates him.

It's a fact, and it hurts, because Naruto believed that Iruka was one of the few teachers who really treated him well and even appreciated him. (He even took him to lunch at Ichiraku the first time he got a B on one exam. No one teacher had ever done that except him.)

Naruto trusted him.

He was wrong.

It's not like that. Iruka sensei hates him, and the day Naruto realizes it is the day when Iruka sensei commits the greatest possible betrayal.

The day he assigns the teams for the final science project of that year. The project that is worth 90% of his final grade and the project that, if he doesn’t pass with at least a C, he will have to repeat the school year.

Yes, the tragic day when Iruka sensei betrays his trust.

"... Team Six is..." He is saying, with his soothing voice echoing in the room, while Naruto thinks, still without knowing about the utter betrayal, "Awesome! He hasn’t named Sakura-chan yet, so he can still put me on the same team as her. I hope I’m with her. Really! With her and... well, it doesn’t really matter, as long as is not Sasuke."

"… Team seven is Uzumaki Naruto," he continues, breaking Naruto's thoughts for a moment. Hope bubbles within him and then, "... Haruno Sakura ..." Yes! Believe it! Naruto raises his hands in his seat while Sakura's head falls. Naruto doesn’t pay attention to it even if she is in front of him because he is busy celebrating in his head. Iruka sensei is the best! Iruka sensei loves me! Iruka sensei is...! (wait for it) "... And Uchiha Sasuke." (There it is, betrayal.) Iruka sensei hates me! He thinks, as he deflates in his seat, while Sakura jumps in front of him.

"Yes! In your face Ino!" She shouts, pointing a finger at the girl who just looks at her with crossed arms and rolls her eyes.

Iruka sensei gestures for Sakura to sit down. She obeys, and he is about to continue naming the teams, but Naruto gets up from his seat and points an accusing finger at the boy who seems as imperturbable as ever, with his hands joined in front of his mouth in an annoying habit that he has.

The dark eyes look at him out of the corner of his eye and his eyebrow raises a little, and that makes Naruto even more irritate.

"Naruto..."

"Iruka sensei!" He interrupts. "Why do I have to be on the same team with a liver like him?!"

Immediately, before the professor can silence them, the comments begin to float around him.

"Liver?"

"He doesn’t even know how to insult properly."

"I would like to eat liver. The one my mom prepares is..."

"How troublesome."

"What a fool he is."

"Sasuke doesn’t deserve to be on the same team as him."

"Tch."

Iruka seems about to collapse when he rubs the temples of his head with one hand and asks for silence.

"Naruto," he says, in a tone of sermon-activated, (as if he was not the one to blame for Naruto fair complains), "Sasuke had the best grade the last partial, and you had the worst..." there are giggles around him when he says, but Iruka continues anyway, "... I did it like that so it would be balanced."

Naruto stays there, gaping before dropping into his seat again, resigned. Growling low in his throat, complaining about stupid pretty boys with better grades than him.

So yes, Iruka sensei hates him. Because there's no way he can appreciate Naruto and put him on the same team as him. It's like putting Sakura and Ino together. It’s just wrong in every single possible way.

Sasuke, Sakura and he meet for the first time in the school library at five in the afternoon, two days after Iruka announced the teams, to start working on their science project.

Sakura is already sitting there when Naruto comes in (he recognizes her shiny hair in an instant), in a chair on the table next to the shelf with the letter F and the huge window on one side of the wall. She has her hair pulled back in a cherry-colored ribbon and a pink dress that matches her hair. His bright green eyes look up from the thick book she is reading when she hears the footsteps approaching.

There is no trace of Sasuke.

Naruto waves at her. She frowns.

"Saku..."

"You're late," she says, squeezing her fingers into the book she holds while Naruto drops into the chair next to her.

He wrinkles his nose.

"Sasuke is not here either!" Naruto says, indignant, because it's true. "I arrived…!"

"Silence!" The librarian shouts at him from the space she peeks out in counter. The voice is strong and authoritative. Naruto shrugs back in his seat.

"... earlier." He completes, in a quieter voice, though he still has a frown on his face.

Sakura rolls her eyes. "Sasuke is not late, he's just..."

"Did you find what I asked for, Sakura?" Interrupts a familiar voice behind him. Naruto turns around to stick out his tongue, but Sasuke ignores him anyway with not more than a little frown.

Sakura stutters a little.

"I— uh— I was looking for it but..."

"It's okay." Sasuke sits in the other chair and opens the book he's carrying in his hands. He pushes it a little towards the center so that his two classmates can see it.

The title “How to make an electromagnet?” is read with cursive letters in the cover. Naruto grimaces. Too complicated. How does Sasuke expect him to pass if he doesn’t even understand what they're supposed to do?

"I was explaining to Sakura that as we are seeing atmospheric or natural phenomena the teacher asked for an experiment on that. I thought maybe..."

"Magnets are not natural things! I'm not that stupid!"

"Dobe..."

"Don’t interrupt Sasuke, Naruto!"

"But…!"

"Silence!" Is heard on the other side of the room.

Sakura and Naruto shrink, Sasuke grimaces.

"As I was saying, I was thinking that we could make a tornado of fog or sand in a container. It is not as complicated as it seems, but for that we need to make an electromagnet first. Sakura thought it was okay, but..."

"You're not even asking for my opinion!"

"Lower your voice, baka, and stop arguing with Sasuke." Sakura hisses.

Sasuke pulls his lips to the side. Frowns. He looks irritated. "Hn. It's fine, dobe, what..."

"Don’t call me that! I'm not a loser! You think I’m one but I’m not!"

"Naruto! Lower your voice!"

"But Sakura, he..."

"Just say your idea, baka, he just said he’s going to listen to it. Even if it's stupid," she says, sounding irritated.

Sasuke glances at her.

Naruto grimaces.

"Well, wouldn’t it be easier to make just a volcano or something?"

"That idea is stupid, Naruto. Stop being so useless."

Naruto collapses a little on the table. His voice comes out as a hurt mutter when he speaks. "That hurts, Sakura-chan..."

"Well, it's the truth!" She says, with the same tinge of irritation bathing the edge of her voice.

Sasuke frowns. He looks at Sakura as if he wanted to say something to her, but he squeezes his lips and looks at Naruto instead.

"That idea is very basic, dobe. Is probably most in the classroom would do it."

"So what? What really matters is that we do the best one, not how many there are! You'll see, Uzumaki Naruto will make the best volcano that...!"

"Ugh, Naruto, you're so loud," Sakura complains. "Why do you never listen to Sasuke-kun? He…"

Naruto collapses back in the seat. Sasuke actually seems a little annoyed at the way Sakura starts talking too sweet and squeaky and leans towards him.

"Sakura, that's enough, you're also as annoying as he is. Probably more." He says, in an irritated tone.

She recoils from where she is clinging into his arm, her lips twisted down, her cheeks turning red. If it was not because her eyes are shining as if she were about to cry and her expression was so hurt, Naruto would be or laughing at how the Great Awesome Sasuke Uchiha lost his control and reacted like an common irritated teenager or complaining because he just said he was annoying (not as if it's something new for Naruto, he knows that Sasuke thinks he's annoying anyway, they have a lot of clubs together and every time Naruto calls him a bastard or an idiot, Sasuke responds with dobe or clumsy or irritating or, worst of all, one which he doesn’t even know what it means, usuratonkachi, what kind of people say such long insults?), but he will not do either of them because Sakura is about to cry.

"Bastard..." he growls, as he watches Sakura starting to cry. Sasuke raises an eyebrow at him, "what kind of...!"

Before he can throw himself at him, there is something holding him from behind. He starts throwing fists in the air trying to break free. Sasuke keeps looking at him as if he expected him to suddenly get free and start attacking him. Sakura wipes her eyes, she looks embarrassed, and immediately says:

"Sorry, Naruto is..." She starts, but something in the lady's face must stop her, because she closes her lips and bends her head in apology.

"I want you three out of the library."

"But...!" Naruto starts to protest.

"Out."

Sasuke and Sakura collect their things while the librarian takes Naruto's backpack with one hand and drags him with the other.

"Look what you did, Naruto!" Sakura shouts, when they are already outside.

"He started it!"

"Hn."

"Bastard!"

"Stop being so vulgar, Naruto!"

Their first time as a team does not start very well.

That same afternoon, while the shower water runs through his skin and Naruto can carefully inspect every corner of his body, he realizes something.

Sakura cried that same day.

Sakura cried that same day and Naruto doesn’t have any new flowers painted on her skin.

Sakura is not her soulmate.

It hurts a little more than it should.

The next day, Ino doesn’t stop looking at Sakura throughout the class. It's strange. In a way, it's like she knows what happened. Naruto wonders if Sakura talked to her about it.

He watches her carefully all day anyway, because he doesn’t know his intentions and Sakura has cried just yesterday, she doesn’t need someone else being rude to her.

Sakura may not be her soulmate, but Naruto still likes her, a lot, and he will do anything to keep her away from feeling bad. He knows that, from the bottom of his heart.

That same afternoon, they meet again in the library.

They argue again.

Sakura doesn’t cry this time, but Sasuke and Naruto argue so loudly that the people at other tables begin to shut them up. (More like Naruto screaming and Sasuke saying "hn" every time, which irritates him even more).

They are taken out of the library again.

The third time, they decide to start doing the work outside the library this time, instead of inside.

It makes things improves a little. At least this time they are already outside.

March arrives and with it comes the beautiful and fresh spring and, with it, the famous annual event of Konoha: The Martial Arts Demonstration Tournament "火の意志". Name inspired by the spirit and soul with which the co-founders of Konoha (and also founders of the event) worked, Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha.

The Academy, where he studies, is well known for its high scores and for the biggest number of first places won of all the schools that participate in the event at a state level.

Each year, the event is recorded and televised by ESPN and other channels and sports chains on April 16, in honor of the day one of the founders died. It is seen and known throughout the country, broadcast even on several foreign channels. It is an important event where students of second and third and last grade usually participate in order to obtain scholarships or be more recognized in the industry of this type of sports.

Naruto knows that his godfather Jiraiya participated in Japan's famous Civil War when he was younger, before starting with his trivial and stereotypical saga of adult novels (no, Tsunade, it's not cheap and denigrating pornography, it's high class literature with scenes that explore sexuality openly) just like his parents in their last years before moving to America. He was a trained ninja who fought against and beside wise samurai who trained him hard. It's something that Naruto always aspired to be when he was a child and Ero-Sennin told him stories of his adventures and his amazing, big deeds and feats with Baa-chan and the old man who likes snakes. The three of them were (and are) literally legends who fought on the fronts and saw the best and worst things in the war. Known as classic war heroes: a talented young man with deadly skills, knowledge of someone who you would think has lived a hundred years, strategic, a little cruel, sinister and mysterious; a diplomat, beautiful, incredibly strong and intelligent kunoichi with the most impressive medical knowledge and skills; and finally a kind and charismatic young man, famous among women, strong and clever and cunning. Peace symbols known among all clans. The three born leaders. The three forts. The Big Three. Veterans. Survivors. Now a successful businessman, the head running behind the Department of Hospitals all around the state and a famous writer. His own father was a student of Ero-Sennin and was known as The Yellow Flash since his very early beginnings for his speed, and fast strategic plans that guided his side to victory in the last years of war. His mother, Kushina, was known as well as the "Red Hot-Blooded Habanero". She was a general of troops; she was intense, passionate, impulsive, strong and temperamental, along with a lot of other things. She had a record of battles won as well.

In other words, Naruto carries it in his blood. The action. The passion for Martial Arts. He always enjoyed watching the tournament on television, even from a very young age, and since he moved to Konoha last year he has been training hard at the martial arts club for it.

Being born from the coolest people doesn’t mean that he was born with the skills, though, even if he had the blood and the potential. Naruto is clumsy and absent-minded and lose focus very fast. But he is more determined than everyone in his class. He’s stubborn and strong and smarter than he is given credit for. Since the beginning, he has trained harder than anyone to improve. To prove himself. To prove that he can be better than everyone, even Sasuke. And from being absolutely lousy, he feels he has an opportunity to be selected in the tournament this time.

Usually, first-year students are considered novices, and because of that, they are not allowed to participate, but this year is the 100th anniversary, and (as in the previous year) they will make an exception if they are good enough to be qualified in the internal preliminaries.

Naruto seriously wants to take the opportunity.

Last year he was a novice, he was new, and his technique was fatal, but now he has improved a lot.

He feels ready for it.

So when his eccentric professor in a too-flashy green leotard passes them a list at the club that afternoon to sign up those who want to be in the preliminaries, Naruto does not hesitate a second to write down his name. His careless calligraphy is just below the neat, clean handwriting that paints the name "Sasuke Uchiha." Hah.

After the class is over, the teacher reads the names that are written on the list and makes them stay a moment later to give them a motivational speech. He gives them a thumb up and speaks too loudly while there are tears in his eyes and gives a speech about the "passionate and flourishing youth of Konoha". Naruto doesn’t understand most of what he says, but he appreciates it.

He feels motivated, in fact.

However, things go awry.

As he is leaving the gym, he can hear the annoying, noisy and scandalous voice of the dirty, careless, dog-loving Kiba Inuzuka barking (yes, barking) derisively:

"So the loser decided to sign up? You're stupider than I thought, Uzumaki."

Naruto clenches his fists as he turns to face him.

"I'm going to kick your ass, dog's breath!"

Kiba smiles with his sharp teeth and mocks him. "If you go against me, you're going to wish that you never wrote your name on that thing." He says, and laughs. He turns around before Naruto can even answer, and Naruto clenches his fists and feels his anger boil inside of him.

"I’ll show you how wrong you are!" He shouts.

Kiba laughs again, without turning around, and makes a sign in the air with his hand, as if he is belittling Naruto's threat, as if he didn’t give a damn. It makes Naruto boil even more. "You’ll see!" He roars. He turns around and looks at some of his teammates, including Sasuke Uchiha watching. "All of you!" He shouts. "And you too, bastard! Even more than everyone here! I will kick your ass!" He threats, pointing his finger and pressing the tip into his chest. Sasuke doesn’t back down at all, (no surprise), even if Naruto's face is very close to his. His eyes look down at Naruto's finger, and then they go up to look at him straight in the eyes. He raises an eyebrow. His mouth curves a bit.

"Tch. All right, moron." He says, as if Naruto’s words were nothing.

Naruto frowns. Why do they all act as if his threats were empty? Like they didn’t care at all? Like he couldn’t...?

"All right." Naruto says.

The half-smile of the bastard only twists a little. "Hn."

If Naruto didn’t know him well, if Naruto didn’t know how much of an idiot he is... The way he looks at him... Sasuke almost seems to be paying attention to him. He almost seems to accept Naruto's threat. He almost seems... Like he’s defying him too. Huh.

"I’ll show you all!"

And with that, Naruto walks away down the hall.

Conversations explode even before he takes two steps.

"You cannot be in the same place without fighting for two minutes?"

"Tch. How troublesome."

"Shikamaru, can we go to the barbecue on the way out? Mom gave me money to ..."

Naruto boils.

I'll teach you. I’ll show you. You all will see.

The next time they meet after the announcement of the tournament, Sakura can’t attend. "An event from her mother," she says, looking a little embarrassed as she clutches her hands shyly and says it more to Sasuke than Naruto.

Since they have a late martial arts club that afternoon, they decide to stay two hours in the gym after school.

Their work is still a disaster, but at least they have agreed on the project. It will be the tornado of fog. Naruto has reluctantly agreed with many of the points that Sasuke mentioned. And Sakura agreed with him since the beginning.

As bad as the bastard is, and as much as he pisses him off, he's actually good at organizing. For some reason, he knows Naruto better than he thought and gives him tasks that are complex but simple to perform for him. Or simpler than other tasks would be at least.

Sakura, on the other hand, is an innate and good researcher to get materials from different sources, and Sasuke has assigned her many tasks that she has successfully accomplished.

It isn’t finished, nor even close to completion, but they still have time. So things at least have a beginning.

They don’t talk a lot. Sasuke is sitting cross-legged on the first step of the bleachers, buried in a thick-volume book called Science for Beginners and taking notes from time to time in a notebook that he has by his side. He bites the tip of the pencil between his teeth, rotates it between his fingers. His hair falls on his forehead. He is silent. And Naruto is too busy doing... his part, to be talking. It’s not like he’s too distracted seeing him, of course not. Why would he do that? Because Sasuke Uchiha actually does something human and bites his pencil? Pfft. No.

They are alone in the huge gym, with the murmur of the voices of the corridors around them and the echo of the sole of Naruto's shoes striking the floor while he is in charge of reading the chapter that Sasuke told him. They are alone; probably less than one meter away from the other when there is too much space in the gym.

They are alone and it is... much less... chaotic than Naruto thought it would be. Of what probably his whole class thought it would be. And it's not exactly nice, but not unpleasant either. It's at a neutral point, he guesses. Somehow, Naruto thinks, he must have gotten used to Sasuke's company after all those afternoons outside the library, because Naruto doesn’t feel like fighting so much with him this time. Because the silence that surrounds them is almost soothing.

"Hey, teme." He says as he turns and rests his feet on the second step, his head hanging upside down to the floor.

Sasuke looks up from where he has his head stuck in the pages of the book, and the black, long fringes at the sides of his face fall delicately on his cheekbones.

Naruto drops the book he's reading on his stomach and nibbles at the nourishing bar with chocolate chips that, in fact, doesn’t taste as bad as he thought it would (in fact, it's very sweet), and that Sasuke gave him at the beginning of the session because, yes, dobe, you need to eat something so you can work better and don’t fall behind; and, I’m sure you didn’t even have breakfast, did you?

Let Sasuke Uchiha be the mother hen type of friend. Huh. Who would have guessed. Not that they are friends or anything. He just tolerates him more. Just that. That’s all.

Bastard, do you think you can tell Naruto Uzumaki what to do? If the bar didn’t taste so good, I would not even have touched it to begin with.

"Dobe. Are you going to tell me something or...?"

Right.

"Do you think we will have to fight each other on the preliminaries?" He doesn’t know why, but the question has been spinning around in his head. The sole idea makes him excited.

Sasuke's mouth twists a little. He raises his eyebrow. "I don’t know." Then he adds, in a tone that sounds a lot like a mockery. "Why? Are you scared of me?"

Naruto snorts, throws his arms in the air. "Of course not. If anything happens and we actually fight, I'll sweep the floor with your stupid mop hair, you cocky bastard."

Sasuke raises his other eyebrow. "I thought it was a duck's tail."

"It can be both."

"Hn."

"Anyway, if we face it, it's obvious that I'm going to win. And afterwards, you'll have to admit that I'm better than you in every possible way. Because I am. And then, the whole school will have to do it, because Uzumaki Naruto has just got left the famous Uchiha Sasuke out of competition. And…"

Sasuke snorts. "Famous? I didn’t know you held me in such high esteem."

Naruto frowns as he bites the bar. He mumbles between his teeth, "Cocky bastard."

And then Sasuke Uchiha smiles (rather, smirks, but still) and says something that, somehow, goes inside Naruto's brain and breaks it.

"Good." He says, ignoring Naruto's insult, and as if he's not just going to say the thing that's going to put Naruto’s stomach up to jump a lot, later. "Whatever it is, I just want to know if I’m strong enough or not. To know the answer, I really want to fight the strongest ones. I've seen you train lately. The truth is, I want to fight you too."

Holy.

Ramen.

Naruto blinks as his eyes focus on the ceiling. His mouth hangs a little open even before he realizes it.

Does that mean that Sasuke recognizes him as a rival, that Sasuke Uchiha believes he is strong enough and worthy of fighting with him?

For some reason, that fills him with happiness from the tip of his feet to the tip of his head.

He doesn’t stop smiling after that for a long time.

"Kiba Inuzuka vs. Naruto Uzumaki" is written on the printed sheet stuck on the door of the gym, a week before the preliminaries, just below "Shino Aburame vs. Sasuke Uchiha".

That explains the disdainful smile that Kiba gave him this morning.

Kiba is strong, he is very strong, and Naruto knows it.

"I'm going to kick your ass, dog's breath!"

But Naruto Uzumaki never goes back on his word. He’ll show him.

He’ll show everyone.

It is a promise.

He trains. Hard. For a long time. In the evenings. Every day. In the mornings on weekends. He strives. More than anyone.

"I want to fight you too." Sasuke's voice echoes in his head, over and over and over and over again.

For some reason, it gives him more energy and strength to continue.

Three days before the preliminaries, when Naruto is arriving at their usual table outside the library, Sasuke and Sakura are already there. Which is not very strange or unusual, but this time, Sasuke and Sakura are talking, and it seems to be about something important.

Sasuke looks serious, and Sakura looks embarrassed. At least, she is blushing.

Are they talking about something romantic?

Naruto's heart rolls over in his chest. In a bad way.

On the other hand, Sakura always blushes when she's with Sasuke, so... It can't be... She... They can't... That is...

Naruto's heart rumbles in his chest. Hard. And it hurts more with each step he takes.

However, the pain doesn't last that long, because now that he remembers it, Sakura had that exactly same expression when she was about to cry the previous time that Sasuke told her she was annoying.

Holy... Naruto swears over all the delicious ramen in the world that if Sasuke makes her cry again he will...

"Oh, Naruto, hi!" Sakura says, her green eyes focusing on his.

Sasuke goes silent immediately.

Naruto looks at him. Then at Sakura. And back. And back.

"Is everything okay?" He asks, and Sakura smiles at her, almost shy, almost embarrassed.

"Oh, yes, of course, I... Sasuke and I were just talking about the advantages of using a new material in the fan holder that the device will have. You know, because the other material can get wet with the fog and ruin the project."

Naruto frowns. "Okay," he says, as if it isn't.

She smiles wider. "Seriously, thanks for worrying Naruto, but everything is fine."

Everything is fine.

Okay.

Okay, everything is fine. He will believe her. For this time.

Two days before the preliminaries, a miracle happens, because when it is five o'clock in the afternoon and Naruto starts putting his things back in his backpack to finally leave to his home, Sakura turns to him, him, Uzumaki Naruto, not Sasuke, and says:

"Hey, Naruto, do you think we can go home together? It's okay if you can't, but I've seen that you take the same path as me, so until we deviate, it would be fine if we go together, don't you think?"

Naruto stops, his science notebook half way into his backpack, and turns to see her. He blinks.

"Really?" He says, grinning. He is sure that his eyes are shining too.

Sakura smiles, her eyes soft. "Yes, really," she says, while nodding.

When they start walking, she seems like she wants to say something to him, but she stops and lets Naruto speak instead. She is friendly and listens to the conversation and asks questions from time to time, although she doesn't talk that much. She smiles, many times, but she seems a little distant, nervous.

Naruto wonders if something happened. Maybe.

Maybe not.

Sakura does not mention anything, and even if he wants to ask about it, he doesn't. He gives her space. If she really has something she needs to say, she will do it. When she feels good or comfortable enough to.

The next day, at the end of their work session, Sakura wishes both of them good luck for tomorrow.

The preliminaries are exclusively for members of the school, of all grades, and only those who are in the club can participate in them, but those who want to go and watch can do it if the date doesn't interrupt with their class schedule. Sakura tells them that she is going to go and support them both. She mentions that they should all go to the gym together, to give each other mutual support, or whatever. It's a bit strange, and Naruto thinks that maybe she's just trying to be nice when she smiles and points out how they're starting to work better together and how they are more united and bonded with one another, and how going the three of them would help both of them to give themselves a sense of tranquility and familiarity before the start of the fight.

He thinks she's decorating things to makes them look better than they are, but she's partially right. They have fallen into a routine, they know each other better. None of the three discuss as much as before. Even before Sakura began to behave more kindly around him, she didn't shouted at him as much as before anymore, she was calmer around him. Maybe she's right. Maybe is better if all the three of them go together. Maybe his nerves would calm down a bit.

Naruto and Sasuke look at each other for a second, and then nod.

Yes, it should be a good idea.

She smiles brighter at their answer.

They meet in the hallway at eight in the morning, half an hour before the preliminaries start. Sasuke is already there, dressed and leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His eyes are closed. Naruto thinks he may be trying to focus himself. Maybe he's nervous.

He knows he is. But more than nervous, he is anxious. He's going to totally kick Kiba's ass, he made a promise. Believe it!

He's about to greet Sasuke when he hears Sakura coming. She arrives almost at the same time as him and runs to catch up with him. She has the red ribbon in her hair again and pretty pink-chewing-gum shoes. Naruto smiles at her and waves a hand when he sees her running towards him.

"Hey!" She greets them when she gets where they are. "How are you, nervous?"

Sasuke doesn't open his eyes from his position on the wall.

Naruto laughs at the question.

"Hn."

"Pfft. Of course not. I am anxious! I'm going to so kick dog's breath's ass!"

Sakura beams. "All right! It looks like you two prepared yourselves a lot! I'm sure you both will win!"

Naruto smiles, nods, raises his fist in the air and is about to say something really cool when...

"Sakura!"

That happens.

A boy with thick eyebrows, a bowl cut and a leotard very similar to the one that always carries his martial arts teacher is running towards them, waving a hand to say hello.

"Sakura Haruno!" He shouts, his voice too loud. There is a girl with brown hair gathered in two buns running behind to reach him and, further back, a boy with long hair with a stern expression and crossed arms is following her, walking. When the leotard boy comes to where they are, he gives a thumbs up and smiles. He practically shines. He doesn't even seem affected though he just run through the whole corridor as if there were a bull chasing him. "Be my girlfriend, I promise that I will dedicate my life to take care of you!"

Sakura blinks quickly, her arms limp at her sides. Naruto is so surprised that he almost falls over. He looks to one side, and even Sasuke seems to have found something of interest in the conversation. He has not moved from where he is and has not uncrossed his arms from their position, but he has opened his eyes to see the owner of the voice.

Sakura tilts her head to one side, the wave of pink hair falling on her side. "Uh, oh... I..." She stumbles over the words. "Sorry, who are you?"

Naruto laughs at his response.

The boy does not seem depressed even a little because the girl has not said _yes_ to his not-too-normal proposition, he just smiles wider; but, again, we are talking about the kind of guy who runs in the middle of a corridor and knows the name of a girl just to ask her to be his girlfriend. Everything is possible. "I'm Rock Lee! I…!"

The girl who was running after him finally comes to where they are and hugs the boy, Lee, from behind (though it looks more like an octopus trying to crash its dinner with its tentacles) and covers his mouth with one hand. She gasps a little, "Are you serious? You know you're too fast, that was cheating! And I told you to not scare her!" She scolds him, frowning. She points to where Sakura and Naruto look at the scene with big, wide eyes. Naruto seems more like he's about to fall into the ground and start laughing his head off, but Sakura seems more curious than anything. "Is that the face of a girl who hasn't just got scared because a random boy has just run to her to ask her to be his girlfriend? I don't think so!" She waves her free arm in the air as she says it, looking like a mother scolding her son because he just took a lollipop at the super when she told him not to and is now eating it. She does not wait for the boy to answer, and turns to look at them. Her expression changes to an embarrassed one, and she laughs awkwardly as she stills cover the other boy's mouth. "I'm sorry about that, he's usually like that all the time."

"Weird?" Naruto offers.

"Baka!" Sakura says, punching his arm.

"Ow, Sakura-chan, that hurts!" He moans, rubbing the spot where Sakura's knuckles have just bruised.

"Don't be rude!"

"It's the truth!"

Sakura gives him a death glare that makes him shut up. She looks embarrassed towards the others, and says, "I'm sorry, it is. Um. He meant that he's... too eccentric." It sounds more like a question than an affirmation, but the other girl laughs.

"No problem. We know that Lee is weird. We don't love him any less because of that. I'm Tenten by the way. He is Rock Lee, as he said, and our silent friend from right there," she points to the boy who is a meter behind her, with his arms crossed and dressed in an elegant combat suit. More elegant than Sasuke's, which is saying a lot, "it's Hyuuga Neji. All three of us will compete today! We are of second year!"

"This year's rookies have guts." The boy says, ironically, superbly. "Tch. Rather, I would say that they are presumptuous or very stupid. We prepare ourselves a whole year and they think they can beat us so easy? It is an insult."

"Uh, Neji..."

"Hey, Girl Hair! If you have a problem with me, let me tell you that I can kick your ass right here and right now, so...!"

There is a sigh at his side. "Dobe..."

Sakura goes forward when Naruto walks towards The Idiot with his fist raised and takes him by the arm to stop him. She laughs nervously. "Naruto, be nice." She says, with a tone everyone can hear. She pulls him towards her and her face contorts a little. "Are you crazy, baka? They are sophomores, think before you act! Besides, he's the genius of the Hyuuga family, have you ever heard of him? He has won more fights than anyone in this school, in just one year. He has medals of international events. He's going to massacre you if you fight him." She whispers vehemently.

Naruto is about to say, "I don’t give a shit if he's the prince of Europe or whatever, I want to kick his ass!" but something catches his attention at his side.

Sasuke moves from his place against the wall. His expression is tired, although Naruto can say that Neji's comment also irritated him. He can know that by the way he moves. Too rigid, though he’s trying to seem like he doesn’t care. "Tch.” He says. “Let's just go to the gym, dobe. It's getting late anyway."

Naruto frowns and growls low in his throat, because that’s not the answer he was expecting, but a look at Sasuke calms him down a bit. Sasuke’s eyes are fierce beneath irritation. They say to him, we are only going to be able to teach him what we are capable of in combat, dobe. Shut up.

They tell him he's dying to hit something right now, and to be honest, Naruto wants that so badly too.

So they move and they walk pass the group in front of them, both Sasuke and Naruto determined. Sasuke is calmer than Naruto, who walks around smoking, but his movements are definitely more intense.

Maybe it was a good thing to run into that asshole. It motivated them more.

"Hey, what's your name?" The Girl's Hair Jerk asks when they go two steps in front of them.

Sasuke turns and kind of smiles, condescending, challenging. Naruto likes the intensity and ferocity in his eyes. They have this fire that he always has when he’s challenging Naruto, but they’re even more intense. It gives him the good kind of goosebumps for some reason.

"I don’t need to tell you that. You will know it when they name me for having won."

Ohhhhhh. Okay. Wow. So Sasuke can be Sassuke. Wow. All right. Okay. Excellent.

Naruto laughs, and if it weren’t because he knows Sasuke will ignore him, he would have said something like "high five, dude! That was brilliant!"

So yes, Sasuke has just crushed the ego of a guy with an elegant last name and another boy has just proposed to Sakura as a knight in armor in a green leotard.

It was a good way to start his day.

The preliminaries begin at exactly 8:30 a.m.

Sasuke and he are sitting in the stands, on the last step stuck to the ground, next to the other competitors. The second year group is next to them. Sakura is right above. She squeezes their shoulders as the coach beings the lot to see the order in which they will participate.

Naruto gets the number 10. The last one.

Sasuke gets the number three.

Naruto doesn’t know which option is better. He doesn’t think so much about it, though.

Sakura wishes them good luck when they start the tournament.

Bushy Brow (as Naruto decided to nickname him since this morning, because Guy with Green Leotard is too-long), is the first one to fight. He goes against another senior student whose name Naruto can’t remember.

Actually, Bushy Brow is awesome. Naruto realizes this two seconds after he starts the fight.

He is fast. Very fast. He is incredibly agile and flexible and lethal too.

Naruto and Sakura make identical expressions of "Wow!", "Cool!", "Awesome!", "He's fast!" At the same time. Both waving their arms or jumping in their seats.

The girl sitting next to Naruto, Bushy Brow's friend, laughs when she sees them.

"He's amazing, isn’t him?" She says, as she watches her partner totally smash his opponent in less than two minutes. "He tried so hard to get where he is right now. He wanted to show everyone that a "simple injury" was not going to stop him, although what happened to him was more than just an injury. The boy with whom he fought the last tournament almost left him paralyzed. Or at least unable to participate in this kind of fights."

The coach announces that Lee is the winner right at that moment, when Bushy Brow gives a last combined kick that leaves his opponent knocked out on the ground. Wow. That movement is magnificent. Naruto has to ask him how to do it.

But returning to the topic that Bushy Brow almost dies...

"What?" Naruto says.

"Really?" Sakura asks, also returning to the conversation. Her eyes are wide open. She seems really surprised and horrified at the same time. Her voice is also tinged with concern. "He must have been very strong then! His opponent! Because Lee is really impressive!"

Tenten turns to see them while still applauding and smiles sadly. Her eyes look somewhat dark, as if she were remembering a bad memory. "His opponent was strong, yes, but more than anything, he was crazy. It is very sad. For a moment I thought— We all thought that— But Lee has always been impressive. Very strong too. He has always known how to get out of difficult situations and improve. I should have imagined that he would recover without any problem. But still, I was so worried. And Lee became very depressed at first, even if he was trying to hide it. I get it. That all his dedication could have gone to trash just for one fight— And the thing is… he always had to try so hard because of his condition, so..."

"What condition?"

She frowns. "Oh. How strange, I thought everyone knew. Lee has chronic osteoporosis. Weak, small bones. That means it's very easy to break them. A sport like martial arts should have leave him on a stretcher weekly. But like I said, Lee has always worked hard, especially thanks to Gai Sensei. He gave him the power to dream and to think that his dreams could come true. But then the accident happened last year and Lee almost gave up everything he had worked for, but Gai Sensei helped him a lot and we..."

"I don't think it's pertinent to be talking about our partner's condition with them, Tenten." Jerk with Girl Hair murmurs next to her. "Also, Gai sensei was wrong that time, filling his head with dreams like that, Lee could have died in that operation."

Tenten turns to him and gives him a wry smile. "Oh come on, the whole school, or at least most of it know it already, they will find out one way or another, I don't see the problem, and besides, about the other thing, you were also worried about him that time, don't pretend that only Gai Sensei supported him in his decision, we were part of it."

The boy has an annoyed expression on his face, crosses his arms over his chest. So the Jerk has a soft spot for Bushy Brow. Huh. Everyone has one, he supposes. But that doesn't take away how presumptuous he is and the expression of superiority in his face that makes Naruto want to knock out his teeth.

"Tch, do whatever you want."

Tenten rolls her eyes. "I swear, you two, honestly. But anyway," she continues, turning to Naruto and Sakura again. "A miraculous woman came after Gai Sensei went in search of her and operated him. It was a difficult decision, Lee could have died, and the healing possibility was 20% at best, but she was really impressive and patient and the operation cured him as much as possible. Lee had to do movement therapies afterwards, but just look at how he is. He did all of them in two weeks when he should have work at least months with them, and he kept training to get through. It was a complicated, very hard year. Gai sensei, Neji and I support him all the time, but he obviously was very sad to think that something could go wrong and he could never stand up again, or use his legs, or move easily. His whole life has been twice harder than anyone else, so I'm not surprised that he now tries the triple, but still."

"Wow." Sakura and Naruto say in unison, just when she ends with a somewhat sad smile.

"I know." She grimaces. "And the guy he fought with last year? A psycho, for sure. He went crazy. Lost all control. He almost kills him. I'm sure he knew about his condition because he made some... movements that put pressure on the bones. It's just that, as far as I know, nobody had ever been able to even hit him..."

"Amazing."

"He must be very talented!"

"He was. But when Lee hit him one time... and then another... and another... I mean Lee is too fast. He didn’t even see it coming. He went crazy. The host had to stop the fight and penalize him. It is very likely that this year he won’t appear again, which is good for you guys! I would never want to run into him again."

"Wow! Bushy Brow is really awesome! Get out of something like that! He is really strong!"

Tenten smiles and nods. "Mhm. He's incredibly annoying but I've always admired him a lot. And…" Before she can finish, a voice interrupts her from below.

"Tenten!" When she looks down, Lee is crying and smiling brightly at her. "Neji! I passed! I passed!"

Tenten gives him a thumbs up. Smiles. "Well done Lee!"

Neji nods besides her. "Good job."

That only seems to increase Lee’s cry. And it only gets worse when Gai Sensei appears behind him.

Tenten grimaces and stands up. "I'm sorry, but I have to go and... try to get those two to not drown or something."

Naruto and Sakura laugh. "Sure."

Naruto looks down at the scene unfolding on the field.

To be honest, and fair, if Naruto had the same story as him, he would probably be crying too. So it's not that weird.

And he sure is strong. Awesome too.

He would like to fight with him.

Looking to his side, he sees Sasuke as he looks down at Bushy Brow as well. Naruto wonders if he heard the story. He wonders if Sasuke wants to fight him too.

That would be interesting. Bushy Brow and Cocky Bastard. Hm.

"Hey, Sakura," he says, with shit-eating grin, looking up. She stops looking at Lee to look at him.

"Hm?"

"Your boyfriend is really cool, don’t you think?" His smile grows like the Cheshire cat.

"Baka." Sakura growls, as she punches him again, this time on the shoulder.

Naruto's smile hesitates a little. "Okay, okay, I was kidding, I was kidding!" Naruto begins to cover himself while Sakura throws him more punches. He laughs anyways.

The bastard is pretty impressive too. He wins almost immediately. Naruto almost feels bad for Shino. That last movement sure was going to hurt for a week.

By the end, almost his entire class has arrived. They gather next to where Sakura is and observe and make comments from time to time. Shikamaru's comments are the most analytical of all. Naruto likes to listen to them. He’s always right when he says who will be the winner.

When it's time for his fight, Naruto is anxious. Sakura smiles at him to give him good luck and even Sasuke looks at him a little more than he should and crashes his fist with his when Naruto puts his own in front of him.

Oh yeah. Naruto is going to sweep the floor with Dog’s Breath.

"So, who do you think will win?" Tenten asks them.

"Kiba." Ino, Chouji and Shino say. Hinata and Shikamaru remain silent.

"Naruto." Sakura and Sasuke answer, at the same time.

Tenten blinks, then laughs. "Okay?"

Shikamaru turns and frowns at Sasuke. He doesn’t seem annoyed or angry, but a little surprised. And curious. The others have astonished expressions while also looking at him. Everyone knows the animosity that exists between them. The tension. The usual bickering, the mutual desire to be in each other's throats all the time. But they also know they've been getting along a little better lately, maybe...

"Why do you think Naruto will win, Sasuke-kun?" Ino asks, clearly surprised. Shikamaru by his side seems genuinely curious. It is normal, Shikamaru’s strong point are the facts, the strategies. He wants to hear the arguments of how someone like Naruto, someone who started so bad at the beginning and was still very clumsy when he signed up, could beat one of the best students in the course.

"Naruto is strong." Sakura says, and it seems like she means it.

"Sakura is right." Sasuke agrees. "Naruto can be clumsy and distracted, but he's strong. He's really stubborn too, he wants to participate in the tournament more than anything, and he's determined in his goals, he trained very hard. Kiba is one of the strongest in the course, yes. He is brutal and strong, but also coarse and impulsive. Especially impulsive; he doesn’t think that much about his technique precisely because his strong point is brute force. He most likely would go with all he has and would try to finish off Naruto from the beginning of the fight. Naruto knows it, he has analyzed his fights, his style; he can be distracted and everything, but he is smarter than people give him credit for, I saw him train a lot in his blockade, he probably thinks about avoiding fighting at first until he gets Kiba tired. Kiba is tough, and he has a lot of energy, but being as reckless as he is makes him wear down everything from the beginning, which is a weak point. And knowing the dobe, if Kiba provokes him enough, he may start fighting as well instead of dodging, but even then, even if Kiba is smart or fast or strong enough to make Naruto fight instead of blocking, the fight will be reduced to see who gets tired faster. In other words, a fight of resistance; and Kiba can be tough and resistant, but Naruto definitely has a lot more stamina than Kiba. He will endure it more than enough."

Sasuke finishes just as the coach announces the start of the fight. His classmates look at him surprised, shocked.

"That's a good point." Shikamaru points out. "Very good points."

Sasuke leans forward, his eyes focused on the field. "Hn."

He doesn’t pay much more attention later to the looks that Sakura or others "surreptitiously" throw at him out of the corner of their eyes. He is too focused on something else.

In the end, Sasuke is right. Naruto tries to dodge a lot at first. It costs him a bit, Kiba has improved a lot and is faster than before, but in the end, Sasuke's analysis is correct. Kiba goes with everything since the start, he doesn’t contain himself, not even a bit. Naruto doesn’t do it either when he starts to counterattack. And although it takes a little longer than Sasuke had in mind, Naruto seriously kicks his ass.

Both pass the preliminaries. And that’s amazing.

Ero-Sennin buys him a bowl of his favorite ramen that night. Baa-chan rents his favorite movie to see it with him.

Sakura makes both of them homemade bentos as a gift.

His classmates don’t exactly congratulate him, but they look really surprised. Naruto doesn’t care that much, Kiba's bitter face as he growls all day long is enough to make him happy.

Girl Hair passes, just like Bushy Brow.

Part of Naruto seriously hopes that, if he doesn’t have to fight Sasuke on the tournament, he'll fight him. He wants to kick his fancy ass too.

Two days after the results of the preliminaries, Sakura is walking besides him again, both heading home.

"You know," she is saying, "it was really smart to change the temperature of the container, Naruto, I don’t know why I didn’t think about it sooner."

Naruto blinks. "Huh?"

Sakura looks up at him, her eyebrows raised slightly. "The temperature? On the thermometer?"

Naruto tilts his head and blinks, searching in his brain if... "Ah!" He says, while one of Sakura's eyes trembles a little, like a twitch. "That!" Sakura looks at him and the fingers at her sides twist, as if she wants to hit something. "That was just an accident when I was—" Sakura takes a deep breath, one, two, one, two. She says to herself to calm down, to breathe, to not despair. "I mean," Naruto says, laughing a little nervously. He scratches the back of his head, smiles like when he wants to apologize for something, "yes, that! That was totally on purpose! Yes, I— I just thought it was obvious, you know," he continues, as he puts his arms behind his head and grins openly. "Uzumaki Naruto is a genius, you know! Believe it! He's the best at... Uh, are you okay, Sakura? You look a little… altered."

Sakura raises an eyebrow, clenches her fists at her sides. She smiles at him, though it seems more like she wants to scare him than to reassure him. Her voice is somewhat tight when she speaks, forcibly sweet, as if she was trying very hard not to scream. "What? No! I'm fine! I'm perfect!"

Naruto frowns. "Um, but your eye..."

Sakura raises both eyebrows. "Mm? No, it's okay!"

"But it's shaking."

"Oh, it's just a nervous tic, I'm fine, don’t..."

Naruto lowers his hands from behind his head. He’s going to touch her shoulder, "Are you su—?"

"I said I was fine!" She screams, her eyes a bit mad. Naruto flinches back.

"Sorry!"

She looks immediately sorry. "Oh! No, no! I'm the one who’s sorry! I shouldn't have screamed at you! I'm. I'm just nervous that’s all."

Naruto stops in his tracks. He blinks. "Uh? Nervous? Why? We've been doing this for many days."

Sakura stops and turns to face him. "Um, yes, but... There's something..." She doesn’t look at him, she looks down instead, and rubs her arm shyly. "Well, uh... It's just that, the reason why I called you to go together the other time, and these times, it's not exactly because we take the same path."

Naruto blinks. His heart begins to bounce madly in his chest. He wants to smile, although he is very nervous all of a sudden. Excited? Scared?

"I... Well, it's... I wanted to apologize."

Naruto's heart slows again until it returns to its normal rhythm. Oh. So it wasn’t— Sakura wasn’t going to— Good. Good. Part of him already knew it anyway. He is not sure if he is happy or not because it is an apology instead of a confession though.

However, Naruto is a bit confused. "Apologize? Why?"

Sakura rubs her arm timidly again. She looks to the left, to the right, to the ground. "Well. For everything. For calling you useless and dumb, and yelling at you. We're a team now, I shouldn’t have..."

"Oh!" Naruto says, interrupting her. "It's okay, Sakura! Don’t worry about it!"

She stops looking at the ground to look at him. She tops herself with bright, cerulean eyes and a bright smile. She blinks. "Seriously? You forgive me… Just like that?" She seems genuinely surprised at his reaction, as if she didn’t expect it to be so easy.

"Yes, why wouldn’t I?" Naruto grins. He puts his hands behind his head again. "It's all good! No problem! Now we're walking together, aren’t we? We've done it several times! It's nice! I like it!"

Sakura blinks a couple of times before smiling. Her eyes become soft. The softest they’ve ever seen with him before. She seems genuinely calm and sincere when she says, "I also like to be with you, Naruto, maybe we should walk together more often. Maybe even on the mornings before we get to class, we have the same schedule, right?" She says and turns to continue walking.

Naruto does not realize that he is standing there blinking and gaping like an idiot until Sakura looks over her shoulder to nod at him. "You're not coming or what?" She says, almost laughs, at his dumb expression.

He nods, because he's physically incapable of talking in the moment.

Sakura just... Sakura just said it was nice being with him? That they should walk together more often? What? Is he dreaming? If so, please don't wake him up.

He knows her words can be empty, full of false promises, but he chooses to believe in her.

He feels like he can believe in her.

They walk together after their work the next day again.

And the next day.

And the next.

And the next, and next, and next.

And the next week.

They even start walking together in the mornings too.

She doesn't talk a lot the first times. More like listens and nods and smiles. Sometimes, Naruto makes her laugh.

The next week, though, she starts to talk too.

She is so pretty and smart, Naruto thinks. And he’s happy. He really is.

Everything is fine. Everything is more than fine.

Until it isn’t.

To be honest, Naruto must have suspected something was wrong. It's not normal for Sasuke to be so quiet all the time. Well, it is. But the silence that was there in the last afternoons was... different. More tense.

Sasuke acted differently. His movements were very rigid. His answers sharp. He didn’t even try to fight back when Naruto made an offensive comment about his hair at one time. He just decided to look angry and irritated and sit there. Besides, Naruto had seen him look at Sakura and him when they start to chat more animatedly in their sessions. He had seen him look at them in the classes. He had seen him look at them when they arrived in the morning and, when his eyes casually met Naruto's, he pretended he wasn’t looking.

Something was very weird in there.

Naruto wanted to ask what was happening, why he was acting like that. It wasn’t very normal on him.

And maybe he should have asked.

Maybe.

The next Friday, Sakura arrives a little late. Before she does, Sasuke and Naruto are alone in the table. Is quiet and there's not many others around.

Naruto greets him when he arrives and he is taking notes in his notebook. Sasuke greets him back, without taking his eyes off the book for more than three seconds to look at him.

Naruto laughs. "You're really more nerdy than I thought, you know, teme?"

Sasuke frowns. He actually seems a little irritated.

"Do you know where Sakura is now? She has the container, so I can’t try the modification without her." He says, raw and plane, as if he had no emotions.

Naruto frowns. "No, why would I know?"

Sasuke lets out something very much like a snort. "Well, you and she have been hanging a lot these days, haven’t you? I assumed she would tell you, since you two are suddenly very close friends." He mumbles something else between his teeth that Naruto cannot hear because Sasuke's face is covered with the book.

Naruto begins to feel the familiar discomfort that starts to burst in the back of his throat when he speaks with him. "What are you talking about, bastard? She and I just walk together home. Besides, why do you care about that? We’re not supposed to be irritating and annoying to you?"

Sasuke stops writing, but he doesn’t look at him yet. "I don’t care, dobe." He says, as if he cared.

"Then why do you mention it?"

"It was just an observation of what I had seen these days."

Naruto snorts, rolls his eyes. "I knew you've been seeing us weird these days. What's the matter? Why does it bother you that Sakura and I are together? I thought you weren’t interested in her that way."

Sasuke is now looking at him, and his eyes are fire. There is a wrinkle between his eyebrows. He looks angry.

"And I’m not." He states. "Not like that."

"So?" Naruto shouts, leaning over the table to look closer at his eyes. To show him that, whatever it is for, he won’t give in on this fight.

Sasuke's face contorts. As if he wanted to say something but at the same time he was trying very hard to swallow the words that scream to get out.

"Hn."

Naruto raises his eyebrows, "That's it? Hn? The Great Sasuke Uchiha gives up?"

Sasuke seems about to punch him in the face. Naruto smiles. That's it. He thinks. Get angry. Fight.

"I don’t understand what you’re talking about." He says, as if he was clenching his teeth. "I'm not giving in. I'm just not going to fight you over something that doesn’t make sense."

"You're not going to fight me because you know you're jealous and it's ridiculous."

"I'm not jealous!"

"Yes, you are! Admit it! You like her and you're jealous because I'm with her! And I’m not even with her like that, by the way! I just walk her home!"

Sasuke's eye has a twitch. He squeezes his hands hard on the table, Naruto can see his knuckles go white. His gaze is intense, penetrating in Naruto's eyes, as if they wanted to make a hole in his head.

"I didn’t think you were so stupid, dobe," he says, and he seems sincere, angry, finished; tired, "but apparently you are."

"What do you mean, bastard? I'm not stupid! You're just stubborn!"

Sasuke rolls his eyes, the way he does before finishing a fight. Before leaving Naruto screaming threats alone in the hallway because he is not interested in discussing with him anymore. He takes the book again and turns the page to read, although his movements are visibly stiffer than before.

"And you are dense like a brick."

"Hey!" He shouts, putting his hand on the pages of the book so that he cannot continue reading. Sasuke ignores him, drops the book and takes his notebook instead to keep writing down notes. "Don’t ignore me! That— What the hell do you mean? Bastard! Listen to me!"

Ten minutes later, when Sakura arrives, she finds them on the ground, wrestling like 5 years old. Both entangled with each other. Sasuke has Naruto’s legs immobilized, but Naruto is punching him in the side. Everything is a tangle of arms and legs.

"Guys?" She asks, sounding like she wants to strangle them both and like she's genuinely curious about what the hell is going on.

They stop a little to look at her from their position on the ground, their breaths fluttering.

"He started!" They both scream at the same time.

"It's not true! You threw yourself at me first, dobe! What the hell did you expect me to do?"

"You were ignoring me, what the hell did you expect me to do?" He says, imitating his voice with a fake fancy voice.

Sasuke rolls his eyes. "That's why! You can’t stop being immature even for a minute!"

"I'm immature? Really? Well, Sasuke, I don’t think mature people ignore their classmates when they talk to them as if they were five years old!"

"And there you go again with that! Who is the one that looks like a five years old right now?"

Sakura just facepalms herself. God, these guys.

Naruto thinks that maybe, maybe, he should be upset. He should be angry with Sasuke for fighting with him and for being ridiculously jealous of something that was not even happening! And that he didn’t even have the right to, considering the number of times he had an opportunity with Sakura and he wasted!

Naruto thinks maybe he's being very stupid, but the truth is, he is not angry.

Sasuke stops acting weird after that fight. He doesn’t mention anything about the fact that Sakura and Naruto are spending more time together. He’s very quiet again, but in the usual way. And he fights Naruto again, the way he always does. It's as if, in a way, the fight would have helped him to vent whatever it was... eating him inside.

Everything returns to normal again.

The most normal that can be with them, at least.

Sasuke and Naruto argue, yes, but Naruto would dare to say that it is almost... friendly.

It's strange. The way their relationship moves and changes and distorts like a flame of fire in different weathers. With water, wind, heat, cold.

Naruto wouldn’t have it in any other way, though.

Their teamwork is much better with each passing day. Naruto is sure that they will get an excellent note at the end.

Naruto is still training. A lot. All the time. Sometimes, Sasuke stays with him in the gym in the afternoons. Other times, Naruto finds him leaving when he is going inside, or the other way around, when he is the one leaving.

Is like they even kinda have a routine.

Two days before the tournament, the fights and the order of them is announced.

Naruto’s fight is the penultimate one. And next to his name is written the elegant name Hyuuga Neji.

Oh yeah.

Naruto is anxious.

Sasuke is up against a guy named Sabaku no Gaara. Very famous in the eastern school, (the big one, somewhat rustic, but outstanding in qualifications and competitions in the dry regions of the county), apparently.

Hm. Anyway, Naruto is sure that the bastard won’t be so bad. He most likely wins. But Naruto is going to destroy him in the scores, oh yes, believe it!

The big day arrives and it's— well, Naruto is more nervous than he thought.

Jiraiya wishes him good luck in the morning before leaving him at the door of the stadium. He apologizes for not being able to be there, he says he will see him on television.

Naruto smiles at him and tells him that it's okay, that there's no problem. He says goodbye to him while he sees him getting away in the car.

There are many people when he goes inside and many cameras too. Many more people than he thought... oh holy ramen...

For a moment, he thinks he's going to throw up. He feels dizzy. Maybe— maybe he was wrong, maybe he wasn’t ready and...

"Hey, Naruto!" Sakura greets him when Naruto is about to turn around and go back to the exit. "You finally came! You look good! Come on, I saved a place for you and Sasuke-kun! We are up with the others in the class. Let's wait for him there, okay? He hasn’t arrived yet."

Sakura's smile makes him calm down again.

Pfft. What was he thinking. He's Uzumaki Naruto, he obviously won’t have any problem. He came here ready to show everyone who he is, and now it's the time.

Naruto Uzumaki doesn’t back down at his words.

Sure.

He pushes his nerves to the bottom of his stomach to them be replaced with a load of adrenaline.

Besides, he hasn’t shown Sasuke what he is capable of yet.

The bastard will see it too. Naruto will boast him with how much better than he is.

So Naruto smiles and follows Sakura into the crowd and listens as she talks about how anxious she is to see them fight and who she believes will win in other fights and what she has heard from the other schools.

All right.

Naruto is ready.

Naruto is more than ready.

The tournament starts.

And… Sasuke hasn’t showed up. Sasuke has not showed up and the first fight is him, the prodigy of good genes, against the lethal redhead beast of the eastern school.

Not that Naruto cares, of course, but why the hell does not he show up.

The fight is postponed on the orders of the jury until the next fight.

Dammit. The bastard better show up already.

The first fight is between two seniors.

A blond girl of the Eastern school fights against an exotic-pink hair girl with weird tattoos of the North Music School. The fight is interesting. Both of them are very powerful and intense in their fighting style. In the end, the girl from the east wins. Temari, that's her name.

Naruto watches the fight with enthusiasm, occasionally glancing at the empty seat beside of him. He knows Sakura does it too, he knows she's worried. What the hell is wrong with that bastard?

Sasuke doesn’t show up. The fight is postponed. Again.

Two more fights.

Another.

He still doesn’t show up.

Naruto doesn’t know why it gives him an ugly feeling in his stomach.

It’s not like something bad happened to him, right?

Another fight.

"Hell, what's wrong with that bastard? Is he cowardly enough to not even show up at the fight? What is he thinking?"

Shikamaru on his other side lets out a sigh. "Naruto, stop being so restless. I'm sure he will come, he is just delayed for something."

"But he doesn’t show up! Ugh! It's making me nervous!"

Shikamaru gives him an ironic smile. "You're worried about him, huh? You two are really starting to get along, apparently."

Naruto stutters. "I— wha— no— we— I mean— I just want him to come so he can see how much I have improved and how much better than him I am! He said he wanted to fight with me! I'm sure if he sees me tonight I'll scare him to death and he'll have to admit that I'm better than him! Uh… Um. Yes! That! I—"

Shikamaru scoffs. "How troublesome. Tch. It's okay, calm down, I was joking. I know how much you two still like to be in each other’s throats."

Naruto sinks into his seat, crosses his arms and murmurs incoherently in a low voice. He is beginning to feel warm in the face. Stupid Shikamaru.

He doesn’t care about that bastard. He doesn’t.

Of course not.

Sasuke still doesn’t show up by the middle of the event. Naruto thinks he's going to have a heart attack by the end of the night. He doesn’t stop bouncing his knee against the seat in front of him. He doesn’t even pay so much attention to the fights because he's looking sideways at the door.

Stupid Sasuke.

It's almost the end of the event and it's time for Naruto's fight. It is the penultimate fight of the night.

He doesn’t know why the fact that Sasuke is not there to see him gives him a bad taste in his mouth, but still, he needs to make Sasuke aside for a moment and focus.

Naruto came to show everyone what he is capable of.

And so he does.

Naruto gives everything he has in that fight to show that he's worthy to be there. That he deserves in every single way to be there. He has hoped to prove it all his life after all.

So he tries to push Sasuke aside for a second, and he fights. Fights for himself.

Fights to prove to superb idiots like the Hyuuga genius that he, Uzumaki Naruto, can kick his and anybody’s ass. Especially the ass of a talented genius who is older than him. In particular someone’s ass who Naruto has to prove wrong when they say he’s a loser.

"It's your destiny to lose. Accept it.” He spits at him in the middle of the fight, with his pretentious long hair and his strange tattoo on his forehead. With cold eyes the color of ice in light. Violets. Hard, recriminating, broken.

Naruto shows him.

He shows him that he can win.

He shows him that he can "change" destiny. That he can choose.

He shows him that all his words about destiny and so on, are nothing more than trash and bullshit.

Naruto teaches him more than one lesson that night.

Naruto frees Neji that night. From whatever it is that is chaining him.

Something happens. Naruto breaks him, surprises him. In more ways than one.

Neji is not the same boy later that night. Or ever again.

Neji changes. For the best.

Neji learns something deeper that night.

His eyes are no longer so harsh. They don’t look so broken by the end of that fight. And maybe he didn’t win the fight, but he won something more.

Naruto not only wins the fight that night and demonstrate that he can. Naruto wins respect.

Another trigger in his life. Another detonator.

Neji Hyuuga. The boy of destiny that Naruto manages to win.

The genius of the rich and powerful family Naruto manages to break.

The genius that respects Naruto by the end of that night.

Neji Hyuuga, the guy who shoots something that day and makes Naruto's life a lot easier later.

Sakura runs and hugs him when he gets off the field. She smiles and congratulates him and Naruto feels good, feels better than he has in a long time.

Neji walks towards him as Sakura fills him with hugs and warm smiles and words of encouragement, with Lee crying inconsolably and clinging into his arm and Tenten smiling kindly at his side (his eyes are a bit weird, they have a strange mixture of worry and relief in them), and shakes his hand.

And everything is fine.

Everything is incredible.

Everything is great.

Except, that when they go up the stairs to the position in the fifth tier where Sakura is sitting with him, she tells him that Sasuke hasn’t arrived yet, and the horrible taste on his mouth returns again.

All his classmates congratulate him when he sits down, including Kiba, who seems genuinely impressed. Everyone looks like it.

And it's great, it's amazing, except that Sasuke is not there.

Naruto doesn’t know why it disappoints him so much.

Lee's fight is the one that follows. For someone who has just cried, Lee doesn’t seem vulnerable at all when he goes up to the combat area.

His eyes are determined and his posture explodes energy everywhere, it tells them how ready he is to fight.

Lee is brutal in that fight. He’s fast. Faster than anyone Naruto has ever seen. Naruto can hardly see the movements he makes because of how fast he is. He is agile, strong, lethal.

In the end, he wins the fight in less than a minute.

A record, apparently.

Sasuke shows up at the last moment, because apparently, he is a fucking show off and wants Naruto's heart to explode, the fucking bastard. He shows up right after they announce the winner of Lee's fight against a senior, in a sleek new suit and with his always-in-place hair. His gaze is tough, his posture is somewhat rigid.

Naruto doesn’t care about his new suit or whatever, Sasuke is there. Finally. Super late, but there.

"You always do what you want to do, don’t you? Arriving at the last minute when your fight is the first, damn presumptuous bastard.” Naruto tells him (when and how did he get down the stairs so fast, it's a mystery), Sakura running after him to catch up with him, but he's smiling, and Sasuke smiles too.

"Hn. That smile. I assume that you won?"

Naruto is inflated with pride. "Yup. So I'm better than you."

Sasuke scoffs, but his smile returns to its place. "That remains to be seen, dobe."

"Whatever. Good luck, bastard, and don’t lose."

Sasuke's smile twists, like he’s saying, who understands you? You’re giving me mixed signs. "I don’t intend to."

Naruto smiles. "Okay, then."

And then he turns to go back to the stands.

Sakura gives a shy wave with her hand and smiles bright when she finally gets there. "Good luck, Sasuke!"

Sasuke gives her a nod. "Thank you."

She smiles wider before following Naruto to their seats.

Naruto almost falls over as he runs back to sit down. It's a little embarrassing, because he loves to watch that tournament every year, and he always gets too excited, but he can’t remember the last time he felt so eager to see a fight before.

God. Sasuke sure is going to kick that guy's ass with the weird name of the Eastern school. He can be a prodigy, or a "beast", or whatever. Sasuke can be an idiot, and a bastard, and apparently a show off but Naruto recognizes that he is very talented.

He will kick his ass for sure.

The plans change and his eagerness becomes panic when Sasuke's opponent shows up and the host starts announcing the fight and the reasons for the delay.

Naruto does not listen to the host and his apologies, instead, he hears Tenten's gasp in front of them and watches Lee's shoulders tighten a bit.

Sakura also notices it.

"What's going on?" She asks.

Tenten turns in her seat, her eyes looking dark. "It's him, the one who injured Lee last year."

"The one that left him almost unable to fight again?" Sakura screeches, horrified.

A visceral terror begins to eat him inside.

The only thing he can think about is one thing: I can’t allow Sasuke to fight with someone like him. He is a monster. Sasuke can get hurt. Really, seriously hurt.

He doesn’t know that he is standing and ready to go to stop them until Lee is dragging him to his place again. Naruto appreciates Bushy Brow, but if he doesn’t move...

"What's wrong, Naruto?" Shikamaru questions, standing two places from him.

"That stupid guy without eyebrows almost killed Bushy Brow last year! I can’t let him fight with Sasuke! I have to prevent—!"

He is desperate. Sasuke— Sasuke can get hurt. He can’t— he won’t let that happen. He… He has to…

"Naruto-kun! Calm down! I'm sorry I made you worry, but everything will be fine!" Lee leans at an exact 90 degree angle and goes back up again in front of him. He gives a thumb up and a bright smile, very similar to the ones Gai sensei gives in his motivational speeches. "I'm sure! I was not ready to fight him that time, he was a worthy opponent, but I'm sure Sasuke-kun is too! I've seen him fight, he's amazing! Much better than me at that time! Sasuke-kun burns with the passion flame of youth, I'm sure he will do very well! Have faith in him! Trust him and the intensity of his spirit like the fire of a sunset!"

Half of those around them look at Lee as if he’s a weirdo. Others seem either on the verge of crying or laughing. Sakura still seems worried, but his classmates look at him to make him sit down.

The host announces the start of the fight.

With a dark feeling of guilt, he sits down.

He doesn’t want to let the fight happen, he really doesn’t.

But maybe Lee is right. Maybe he should trust Sasuke. Maybe it would be too selfish of him to go and stop the fight.

"Okay." He murmurs.

"Excellent!" Lee shouts, sitting back down again.

The fight begins.

Apparently, the reason why Sasuke hadn’t show up before and why it took a while to start the fight even when he arrived, Naruto would realize later, was because he suffered an injury two days before the tournament. Not very serious, but enough to damage his shoulder. His tutor didn’t want to let him participate in the event. The judges didn’t want to let him either.

But he's Sasuke Uchiha. The prodigy of one of the founding clans of Konoha. Of course he was going to fight.

Even with the injury, Sasuke makes an incredible presentation. Sasuke is precise, fast, impeccable. Even elegant. He is mortal. Lethal. And yes, maybe by the end of the round, his movements are a little more erratic or careless, but that doesn’t stop him from winning. Gaara shreds him a little. Gaara is almost a real monster. He's too talented, his skills are deadly. He is ruthless, cruel. Some strokes and movements make Sasuke actually grimace, even if his speed prevents Gaara from touching him many times. Gaara is almost as fast as Sasuke is, and his block is fantastic. However, after the time pass and Sasuke is still so resistant, Gaara begins to... despair. He presses, pushes him to his limits. Hard. He overstrains himself, it can be noticed. His movements are too abrupt, disorganized, desperate. He is losing control.

Sasuke's prowess is inflexible, he almost never hesitates. Naruto knows him, that's one of his many advantages; Sasuke doesn’t give up, ever. He has proven to be a worthy rival to Naruto many times precisely because he doesn’t give up. But things get complicated. Naruto knows him way too good to know that. He's not doing so well. Gaara is not having mercy.

Naruto feels something ugly burn his throat. Panic.

"Sasuke! Stop being such an idiot and stop playing and fooling around, you bastard! Show him what you can really do, dammit!" Naruto screams from the bleachers. Naruto roars, with his annoying, loud voice, using all the strength his lungs have.

Somehow, Sasuke becomes more... lethal and intense, from that moment. Is like sharping a sword that already has edge.

In the end, he wins.

Naruto is filled with relief inside of him. For some reason.

"What a lame way to win, Sasuke bastard, you're all beaten up!" Naruto laughs (if it's from relief or because he's making fun of him or both, Naruto doesn’t know for sure) from the stands. He smiles, delight. And Sasuke looks at him from his position in the field. He is breathing hard, Naruto can see the way his chest rises and downs irregularly, heavier, but he smiles at him anyways. More like smirks at him than genuine smiles, but that's fine. Sasuke is fine. Beaten up, sure, but fine.

Sasuke rolls his eyes like he knows what Naruto’s thinking. His eyes are mocking, teasing, and he says something with his lips before going down the side of the field. Naruto can read it clearly.

“Usuratonkachi."

Tch.

Bastard.

There are loud applauses and shouts and smiles and flashes of huge cameras that don’t stop taking pictures of them after they gather all the competitors to announce the first places and they have to go up on the big field to get their medals.

Men in suits move from one place to another with friendly and strict faces among seniors, in search of their next stars or to give offers. The competitors begin to surround themselves with people who congratulate them on all sides, even if they didn’t get any of the first three places.

There are laughter and tears and bright smiles and many people and Naruto feels a little dizzy.

He has just won second place. In the famous Konoha Tournament televised internationally. Wow. He really wish Ero-Sennin and the old woman were there.

Lee doesn’t give him much time to get depressed about that, though. He is crying next to him. He seems more proud of himself than is possible, although Naruto feels the same way he does. He congratulates Naruto, or at least Naruto thinks he does, because he doesn’t understand what he’s saying completely between all the tears that are coming down his face. He and Gai sensei hug him and cry on his two shoulders before hugging each other and crying even more. It is such a show to watch. Naruto watches it a little disturbed before Tenten arrives, with Neji behind her, running with a smile towards Lee. Her smile vanishes when a Lee full of tears turns to her with all her energy and stamps himself against her in a bear hug. She sighs, resigned with a face of "oh well, if I don’t have another option…" as she pats him on the back and congratulates him and says soothing words above his head. And anyone who would look at her face would say that she is irritated, but her eyes are soft, and there is a curve in her face, in her mouth, when Gai sensei appears to one side of her and cries and screams about how proud he is and about youth and sunsets and fire and sunrises. She is happy. Almost amused. Exasperated, yes, but soft. Like saying, "God, I really love this pair of dumbasses."

Neji approaches Naruto while he focuses too much on looking at them. He greets him and shakes his hand. He looks much calmer than Naruto has ever seen him. In peace. Almost... Happy. Much better than a praised genius who just lost a very important fight.

"Congratulations, it was a good fight." He says, in a calm voice, and Naruto smiles.

"Thank you!"

Neji nods. "It would be good if it ever happened again."

"Of course, Hyuuga, it would be amazing to kick your ass again!" Naruto says.

The boy actually smiles. More like the corner of his mouth pulls a little up, but it seems genuine.

"You are very different from how I thought you would be. You taught me many things today, Naruto."

"Oh yes, Naruto Uzumaki is awesome, believe it!"

Neji's eyes seem a little amused, and he seems about to say something else when Tenten calls him out.

"Neji, I need help here!" She screams, as she is crushed by two bodies with green leotards that cry.

Neji looks over his shoulder and sighs, a little tired, as if he's used to dealing with that kind of things. When he turns to say goodbye, he smiles a little, although it seems more of a challenge than a sincere smile, and there is a bit of that arrogant tenacity and determination in his eyes when he looks at him.

"I hope we have the chance to fight against each other again, Naruto."

Naruto nods, smiling brightly, and Neji smiles a little wider before turning and going to save Tenten.

Two seconds later, Lee is clinging into him and Neji has a look of horror as Lee cries over him and squeezes him in his arms, as if physical contact makes him more uncomfortable than ever. He doesn’t do anything to get rid of him and push him away, though, he only complains, with his arms limp at his sides.

Naruto laughs. He stops when something at his side catches his attention. A few meters away, on his left, there is a group of girls who shout and scream and push each other to see... something. Or more like someone.

In the center of the huge circle is Sasuke Uchiha, with his first place medal hanging around his neck and an irritated expression on his face.

Bastard.

When he starts to walk towards him, Sasuke catches his gaze a meter away and manages to get out of there in one piece.

He seems really relieved when the girls see where he is going and don’t follow him.

It's almost funny. In an ironic way. The way Sasuke gets so much attention when he doesn’t like it a bit.

"Smug bastard." Naruto says, when they're close enough without people around them. "Getting all the girls’ attention like always."

"Usuratonkachi." He says, like he's trying to be all smug about it and make him jealous, though he actually looks relieved to be finally alone with him and away from the hungry horde.

Naruto almost laughs. He smiles, almost cocky, and points at the medal hanging in Sasuke's neck.

"This doesn't mean you're better than me, huh, bastard? I was way cooler than you there. And I didn't win that lame."

"Tch. From what I saw..."

"You didn't even see my fight, you liar!"

"I saw the last part. They have a big screen outside and I was arriving when you were fi—"

"You saw it? Really?"

"That's what I'm trying to say, moron."

Naruto grins. He doesn't know why, but Sasuke actually looking at his fight makes him really happy. Maybe is because he's definitely getting stronger, and that way he can show off to him.

Sasuke looks like he's going to say something more, but Sakura's voice interrupts him before he can say anything.

"I finally find you two! Congratulations, guys! You deserve it! You two fought amazing, I'm proud of you both!” She is saying, smiling brightly as she gets closer. “Naruto, you were so cool back there, the training is making you so strong!" She smiles, but then her eyes toughened and she punches him in the arm. Hard. Naruto's smile goes off and dies in a grimace instead. He rubs his arm. "But you are still so reckless, baka! I was worried for a moment there!"

Naruto makes a pout while still rubbing his arm. Hell, Sakura is strong.

"Hey! I was perfectly fine! I had everything under control! If you're going to worry about someone, it should be Sasuke! He was the one who went against the devil without eyebrows!"

Sasuke frowns when Naruto points his finger at him. Sakura's face fills with more concern.

"That's right. They told me what you did, Sasuke-kun! That was very imprudent! More like, I don’t know, something Naruto would do."

"Yes, exactly!" Naruto shouts. Then he grimaces as he turns to look at Sakura. "Hey!"

Sakura ignores him as she reaches out and touches Sasuke's shoulder. He doesn’t say anything, but his face indicates that he is trying very hard to keep himself quiet and not scream at her to get away.

"Fight with an injury like that! Sasuke-kun! You could have get more hurt, I..."

"Wait, the bastard did what?" Naruto blinks.

Sakura turns to face Naruto. "He fought with a shoulder injury that should have disabled him! That's why he was late! His tutor was not going to let him participate in this!" She explains.

Naruto opens his eyes wide. There is something of the cold feeling he felt in the stands when they said that Sasuke was going to fight against someone who could kill him tumbling in his stomach again. "What? That's very stupid, teme! And you say I'm the stupid! You're very stupid! I told you you were stupid! I've told everyone that you are!"

"You had us worried!" Sakura says, accentuating what she says with the expression on her face.

Naruto stops. "Yes, we—! Wait, no! I was not worried!"

Sakura decides to ignore him, Naruto thinks, because after she says, to make it sound even worse, "Naruto almost stopped the fight! And he didn’t even know about the injury! If he had known..."

"Hey! No! No, no, no, that's not true, I wasn’t worried about him!” Sakura looks at him, an eyebrow raised. “Well, yes, I was, but only because. Uh. Because, um, I— is, because he's my rival! Yes. Okay? That’s all! And he promised to fight with me sometime! He said he want to fight me! And I want to kick his ass! If he killed him, I wouldn’t be able to! It was just that! That’s— That’s all!”

Sakura blinks at him while Naruto babbles and screams and waves his arms in the air. Sasuke actually seems a bit surprised, his eyes open a fraction more. Naruto starts feeling warm on his face.

"I swear!"

Sasuke blinks. Then he looks at Sakura, who still looks at Naruto with a mixture of surprise and confusion. "I didn’t try to worry..." he says, and he glances at Naruto, who looks away, "… in whatever way," he points out, as a clear hint to the babble that Naruto has just released, "I was fine, that's why I fought, I..."

There is a pause.

"Sasuke-kun?"

When Naruto turns to look at him again, he gets surprised. Sasuke's eyes are dark, looking at something behind him with an emotion Naruto can almost call hate. Naruto almost recoils back, Sasuke's gaze is too intense. Penetrating. And his whole face is shrouded in something somber, dismal. Dark. It gives Naruto a bad taste in his mouth. He had seen Sasuke irritated, annoyed, but as far as he can remember, he hasn’t seen Sasuke really, actually angry at all. Not even once. He didn’t even know that Sasuke could hate something. Less with that intensity.

Naruto frowns and puts a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. The tension in Sasuke's body disappears, though not entirely.

"Hey bastard, are you okay? What's wrong?" Naruto's voice is enough for Sasuke's eyes to soften a little, but they don’t stop to look at the point behind Naruto. Naruto looks back and follows Sasuke's eyes to find a tall boy with glasses that, by the light, cover his eyes, and a... Man? Woman? Man. A man with long hair, marked makeup and a macabre smile. His spooky eyes resemble those of a snake, fixed on his prey, fixed on Sasuke.

"Do you know them, Sasuke-kun? Who are they?" Sakura asks out loud, echoing some of the questions that begin to fill Naruto's mind.

Sasuke doesn’t answer. Instead, he says, "I have to go. See you later."

Sakura stretches her arm and takes him from his wrist. Sasuke doesn’t turn to look at her.

"But you need to go to the nursing first, Sasuke-kun!"

"You guys go first, the dobe needs to get checked his wrist." He says, and without looking at them, he lets go and keeps walking.

When he goes halfway, the snake-eyed man’s smile widens in a way that gives Naruto chills. The other boy puts his glasses on the bridge of his nose and opens his arms. He leans a little towards him and says "Sasuke-kun! We were just going to say hello!"

Naruto frowns. Something about that... feels off. It just... doesn’t seem okay. It gives him a bad taste in his mouth. A strange feeling in the stomach.

Sakura sighs at his side. "That was weird, but well, Sasuke-kun is right, Naruto, you need to take care of that hand."

Naruto frowns deeper when Sasuke gets to where the duo is.

"I know you care about him, and I do too, but Sasuke-kun will be fine. He knows how to take care of himself, and no matter how strange they may seem, you don’t have to judge them by their looks, okay? Sasuke-kun seems to know them. Besides, there’s a lot of people here, I don’t think anything bad will happen; he will be just fine. Come on. Let’s go get you checked.” Sakura's voice is soft, but her grip is a bit harder than it should be as she grabs him by the arm and pulls him, and when Naruto glances at her face, Naruto sees it. It can be noticed the way she tries to hide it, looking away, hiding part of her face with her hair. Her eyes are full with worry.

And although he feels bad and hesitant to do so, although he feels as if a weight were squeezing his stomach and something visceral and ugly was burning his throat with every step he takes, although there is a voice in his head that screams at him from the back to get Sasuke away from there, away from them, although all of that, he keeps walking.

He leaves Sasuke behind.

At that time, he doesn’t know that he will regret doing it years later.

Naruto is corned and asked for autographs before arriving at the nursing. There are smiles and they give him polite hugs and he receives attention from all sides.

It's fantastic. Almost unreal. Surreal. It almost seems like a dream. It's what he's always dreamed of.

It would be better if Sasuke was there, though.

Ero-Sennin takes him to dinner at Ichiraku with Baa-chan that night. He lets him order all the bowls he wants.

He tells him that he saw him on TV and that he is very proud and that they even recorded his fight on a CD. He tells him that he is more famous than he is between the ladies in the neighborhood now while he laughs and ruffles Naruto’s hair. He orders one of those double ice-cream palettes that split in half and shares it with him while he smiles and tells him how proud his parents would be of him.

Tsunade gives him a necklace with a shiny pendant and kisses his forehead when she hangs it on his neck. She smiles at him and tells him kind words and congratulates him with warm, soft eyes.

Ero-Sennin accuses him of having more luck than him with pretty girls.

Naruto laughs.

It is one of the best nights of his life.

His classmates congratulate him a lot (not as much as Sasuke, but yes) the next day.

Even Kiba does.

Things improve a lot from there.

Over time, Naruto learns to hide and push that bad feeling he had at the tip of his mouth when he saw Sasuke with that man in a corner of his mind and not to worry about it.

The three end their science project two weeks before the delivery date. They get an A+ and congratulations from Iruka sensei.

Things are better than they have been for a long time.

In case someone was wondering the places of the tournament:

First place: Uchiha Sasuke.

Second place: Draw, Uzumaki Naruto and Rock Lee.

Third place: Sabaku no Temari.

Thanks everyone for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments! Thank you!! This chapter was more than anything an introduction to how the dynamics of everyone starts here. I hope you liked it!! Thanks again!! And I'm sorry for so many notes, lol.

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genki-sensei · 6 years

Text

Musical Lesson 99: 伊藤由奈(Yuna Ito) - I'm Here

Hi all! It’s been a long while since our last Musical Lesson. I was on a roll near the end of July and early August, but then impermanence. I needed to adapt to changes and that resulted in less engagement with the blog. The sands of time continue to flow, and life moves on and on. I hope to be able to move through the remainder of the Musical Lessons. I have an end-point in mind, so let us proceed.

The music video for the Musical Lesson can be found HERE. Japanese lyrics can be found HERE, and English translation by me below.

Beyond the door of isolation, SO LONG

The morning embarked by one’s self

The look that shows courage, SO HIGH

Won’t brake

The situation of not running away

Always NO MORE

Over freedom, it’s more important, I KNOW

Because I came to understand

Now, FOR YOU I fight

When you pray, wrap up that hand

Shake the nightmare with the same zeal…

SHAKE DOWN, Run the path you believe in

I’M HERE, No longer lose your way

If you are wounded, until it is ingrained

If it’s the end of that familiar way of living

It’s better to burn red

FIND OUT, Hope no matter when

STILL SHINE, inside this chest

Dig it out, CAN YOU FEEL IT?

Rather than fearing having lost something

The single embrace of love

Beyond the darkness, SO I WANNA GO…

Even some meetings, SO FAR

Only swaying in distant memories

Rather than unclear separation

TO HEART, add a scar

Won’t sink into loneliness, NO CRY

Have a vow can’t give up

FOR YOU, will oppose the destiny that toys (with you)

Someday towards your source

The time you return will come

The tomorrow (you) believed…

BREAK DOWN, to penetrate [and carry out] your wish

I’M HERE, already won’t yield

If it’s true-reality, with uncovered-skin

Only your pride for yourself

Is always here

YOU KNOW, the answer no matter when

TURN OUT, heart/spirit cries out

Better to extend your hands, CAN YOU TOUCH IT?

More than a crowd of empty-hands at night

The single embrace of love

The distant light SO I WANNA GO

(SO I WANNA GO) x8

SHAKE DOWN, Run the path you believe in

I’M HERE, No longer lose your way

If you are wounded, until it is ingrained

If it’s the end of that familiar way of living

It’s better to burn red

FIND OUT, Hope no matter when

STILL SHINE, inside this chest

Dig it out, CAN YOU FEEL IT?

Rather than fearing having lost something

The single embrace of love

Beyond the darkness, SO I WANNA GO…

SHAKE DOWN, I’M HERE

FIND OUT, STILL SHINE

I’M HERE

~ Lines to Note ~

The word 孤独 (kodoku) was translated as “isolation,” but it can also be translated as “solitude or loneliness.”

The sentence 君が祈る時は　その手包み込むよ (Kimi ga inoru toki wa, sono te tsutsumikomuyo) was a little tricky to translate. The first portion of the line is simple; “When you pray/wish.” The next part of the line is translated directly as “that hand, to wrap up.” What isn’t indicated is whose hand is being wrapped up (either the singer’s, or the listener who is praying); also, what is the hand being wrapped with (maybe rosaries? Mala beads?). The line was simply translated as “When you pray, wrap up that hand.”

After the previous sentence we examined, it is followed with 同じ熱にうなされ (onaji netsu ni unasare). ‘Onaji’ means “same; identical; equal; uniform; equivalent; similar; common (origin); changeless; or alike.” As seen in previous lessons 熱 (netsu) can be translated generally as “heat” or “fever; temperature.” In a more positive context, it can be translated as “zeal; passion; enthusiasm.” Negatively, it can be translated as “mania, craze, or rage.” In this context, I preferred to translate ‘netsu’ as “zeal.” The last word うなされ (unasare) is the command-form of the verb “to have a nightmare // to make noise during a nightmare.” This last word describes an action not commonly referred to in English. This line was translated as “Shake the nightmare with the same zeal.”

The line 傷つくなら　奥まで (kizutsukunara okumade) was tricky to translate. The word ‘kizutsuku’ can be translated as “to be wounded; to get injured // to get feelings hurt // to get damaged; to get chipped; to get scratched.” This word is difficult to translate because we need to use context clues whether this refers to a physical wound or emotional damage; moreover, the extent of the damage is also vague (a scratch is much different than an injury like a broken leg). The phrase ‘okumade’ was also tough to translate. ‘Oku’ means “inner part; inside; interior; depths (e.g. of a forest); back (of a house, drawer, etc.); bottom (e.g. of one's heart); recesses; heart.” Also, ‘made’ is particle that means “until (a time); till; to; up to // to (a place); as far as // to (an extent); up to; so far as; even.” The line was interpreted as “If you are wounded, until it is ingrained.” The latter portion of the line can also be translated as “as far as the bottom of the heart” (this might be the feeling that is more invoked through this line).

Another difficult line is 失くすことを恐れるより　愛をひとつ抱いて (nakusukoto wo osoreru yori, ai wo hitotsu daite.) The verb ‘nakusu’ means to “to lose (something); to mislay // to get rid of; to eliminate; to remove.” The verb ‘osoreru’ means “to fear; to be afraid of.” ‘Yori’ is a particle that can mean a couple of things. The form portion of the line was translated as “Rather than fearing having lost something” (instead of “lost,” “eliminated or removed” could have also been used; which would have given the line a different connotation”). For the latter portion of the line, it is directly translated as “love; affection; care // attachment; craving; desire,” “one,” “to embrace; to hold in the arms; to hug.” The line was translated as “The single embrace of love,” but alternative translations could be: “Embrace One Love” or “Hold (that) one affection;” or even “Embrace that desire.”

One phrase that is simple to understand but difficult to translate properly in English is 傷をつけて (kizu wo tsukuete.) ‘Kizu’ means “injury” in a general sense (from something as small as a scratch to something as deep as a scar; and also includes emotional damage). And ‘tsukeru’ means “to attach; to wear” in a general sense. This phrase is used after saying “TO HEART,” so the line was translated as “TO HEART, add a scar”

Another phrase that is difficult to translate is 君の元へいつか　帰る時が来るよ (kimi no moto he itsuka, kaeru toki ga kuru yo.) The word ‘moto’ means a bunch of things, but in this situation refers to “origin; source // base; basis; foundation; root.” The former portion is translated as “Someday towards your source.” The latter portion of the phrase uses the verb ‘kaeru’ which means to “to return; to come home; to go home; to go back.” What we should notice about the verb is that there is a focus that the place of returning is home (or a place like home). The latter portion of the phrase was translated as “The time you return will come.”

Another interesting phrase is 真実なら　素肌で (shinjitsu nara suhadade). The word ‘shinjitsu’ can mean “truth or reality,” but I translated it as “true-reality” (by combining the meaning of each of the individual characters). The word ‘suhada’ means “bare (naked) body; complexion (e.g., face).” The word is a combination of the character ‘ 素 ’ which means, “elementary, principle, naked, uncovered;” and the character ‘ 肌 ’ which means, “texture, skin, body, grain.” The phrase was translated as “If it’s true-reality, with uncovered-skin” (to keep the translation tamed). If I wanted a more mystical translation, the phrase could have been translated as “If it’s true-reality, with principle-body.”

The last line we will examine is 夜に群れる儚さより (yoru ni mureru hakanasa yori). ‘Yoru’ means “evening or night.” ‘Mureru’ means “to crowd; to flock; to swarm.” And ‘hakanasa’ is the adjective ‘hakanai’ as a noun. ‘Hakanai’ means fleeting; transient; short-lived; momentary; ephemeral; fickle; vain // empty (dream, etc.); mere (hope); faint (possibility). The tricky word to translate is ‘hakanasa.’ The line was translated as “More than a crowd of empty-hands at night” (since the line previous referred to hands). This line is proceeded by the line “The single embrace of Love.”

~ Analysis ~

On to the analysis! We will go through the song section by section. When we reach our deeper themes, we will refer to previous songs covered.

The song begins with the singer stating that they are beyond the door of loneliness or isolation. It has been very long since the morning the singer embarked on their journey. The singer first presented a show of courage. This show of courage indicates that the singer was anxious at first, but now they embody that courage highly and now they won’t waver or stop. The current situation is that they no longer run away (from their duties, responsibilities, and so on). The singer understands that over their own freedom, there is something more important. Because the singer came to understand or realize something, they now fight FOR YOU (the listener).

The singer addresses the listener and states that when we pray, we should wrap up our hands. (We can imagine that we are wrapping our hands with prayer the same way a boxer wraps their fists before a match.) Likewise, we should shake or break the nightmare with the same heat, fervor, or zeal as the singer. With this fervor and zeal, we SHAKE DOWN the obstacles in front of us and run the path we believe. The singer reminds us that I’M HERE, encouraging us to walk the path we believe without getting lost or wavering. If we get injured or wounded in the process or journey, we should let it leave a deep and lasting impression on us. If at the end we simply continuing our familiar and comfortable way of life, the singer recommends that is better to burn red (as in, we should live life with more passion and zeal, with more ‘netsu’ or heat). In this condition, the singer states we can find hope no matter when. Moreover, this ‘netsu’ or heat STILL SHINES inside of our chests. All we need to do is search for it, or dig it up from inside of us. The singer adds, CAN YOU FEEL IT? Next the singer directs us by stating that rather feeling afraid that we lost something (or that we eliminated something inside of us), we should feel or experience the single embrace of love; or alternatively, we should only hold on to love or affection. The singer ends their directives by stating that they WANNA GO beyond the darkness.

The next section begins with the singer reflecting on their distant memories with the people they have met thus far in their life. They indicate that rather than having ambiguous and unclear separation from people, it is better for them to have left a scar or wound in our hearts. The idea behind this recommendation is that it is more painful to be unsure romantically about the status of some relationship (i.e., a “it’s complicated” relationship), than the pain that comes from clear separation and knowing that one will not reconnect romantically with someone (in the latter, there is the opportunity to move on and mature after the clear separation). Even though the singer has pain in their heart, they won’t sink into loneliness and cry. The singer has a vow they cannot give up; and FOR YOU (the listener) they will oppose and go against destiny which is toying with our lives.

Next the singer assures that we will someday reach our source, our origin, our foundation, our root. Moreover, the time will come when we return home (however we identify or imagine ‘home’ to be). As such, we should believe and have faith in tomorrow.

Next, we should BREAK DOWN and penetrate our wishes and carry out our aspirations. The singer again reminds us they are here, and assures us that they won’t yield or give up. Next the singer points out that if this is truth and reality, then we should bare our bodies (and not cover anything up). With our bare bodies, what always remains is our self-pride. If we know the answer no matter when, our heart/spirit TURNs OUT and cries-out. Next the singer recommends that it is better to extend our hands (rather than just keeping to ourselves). They then follow-up by inquiring CAN YOU TOUCH IT? The singer then indicates that rather than reaching out to a crowd of empty hands at night, it is better to reach out and embrace one love. Now the singer states they want to go to a distant light.

The singer repeats that we should SHAKE DOWN the obstacles in front of us and run the path we believe. The singer again reminds us that I’M HERE, encouraging us to walk the path we believe without getting lost or wavering. If we get injured or wounded in the process or journey, we should let it leave a deep and lasting impression on us. If at the end we simply continue our familiar and comfortable way of life, the singer recommends that is better to burn red with ‘netsu.’ In this condition, the singer states we can find hope no matter when. Moreover, this ‘netsu’ or heat STILL SHINES inside of our chests. All we need to do is search for it, or dig it up from inside of us. The singer adds, CAN YOU FEEL IT? The singer again directs us by stating that rather feeling afraid that we lost something (or that we eliminated something inside of us), we should feel or experience the single hold of love. The singer concludes by stating that they WANNA GO beyond the darkness.

Alright, on to deeper themes! Let’s start by picking up where we left off at the end of our analysis of Birds. We left off in doubting whether we can trust the wind in leading us towards a sky paradise. Our main concern was whether we can trust the wind, or the wind personified as a spiritual friend or teacher, in leading us to a sky paradise. We should be doubtful of this spiritual friend of teacher unless we are able to carefully examine their intentions and aspirations in taking the role of spiritual friend and teacher. The singer in I’M HERE is someone who takes the role of a spiritual guide and is quite clear in their goals and methods (let’s refer to this spiritual friend and guide as Yi [short-hand for the singer Yuna Ito]). For starters, Yi states clearly that their focus in not on their own individual freedom, but instead, they came to understand the importance of fighting FOR YOU (the listener/reader). Moreover, Yi states clearly that they won’t run away and sink into loneliness; instead, they will oppose the destiny that toys with our lives. Yi also clearly states that their goal is to go beyond the darkness and move towards the distant light. Yi is willing to courageously exclaim I’M HERE so as to continuously encourage us to proceed on our own journey to freedom.

We may continue to harbor doubts towards the Yi’s sincerity. To challenge these doubts, we should examine the possible development and growth of Yi as a spiritual friend or guide. The song starts with Yi moving beyond the door of loneliness and isolation. To be able to endeavor and move beyond this arduous door, we can imagine Yi going through similar difficulties as the singers’ in Small Song and Sonic Dash. We know Yi has experienced deep wounds, and their heart has been scarred by their experiences. Instead of turning to despair, with the same strength as the singer in Abintra, Yi may have decided “to accept the cold, the pain, the separation and the tears,” and “awakens their life” to “attain their true self and future” [lyrics from Abintra]. We can also imagine that Yi is similar to the singer from Brand New Day who is unable to toss away memories, has strong belief in themselves, and seeks the freedom of the heart/spirit. Both the singer and Yi are bravely making themselves available to others; the former who found “evidence of coming to be covered in love,” learned “to live strongly without fearing anything,” and even “extended both hands even to pain” [lyrics from Brand New Day]. Yi describes the “single embrace of love,” which may be strikingly similar to the feeling of “coming to be covered in love.”

As stated above, we can make the assumption that Yi, as a spiritual friend or guide, is coming from a place of experience. Moreover, it is apparent that Yi has found a powerful, internal source of hope and vigor. Yi advises as to find the STILL SHINE inside our chest and queries us on our determination, CAN YOU FEEL IT? Further evidence that Yi discovered some powerful internal source of hope and vigor is that they suggest that if we have found some true-reality, we should leave it uncovered and naked. Moreover, if we found some internal answer, we should TURN OUT (our heart/spirit) and let the heart/spirit cry-out (likely, whatever internal truth we believe we discovered). Yi having realized some internal truth, reaches out to us listeners and comforts us by saying I’M HERE, FIND OUT, STILL SHINE, I’M HERE, and by not yielding in their fight and protection of us. Yi further implores us to extend our hands and inquires, CAN YOU TOUCH IT? This is not the first time we have observed this level of caring and compassion for another. These sentiments towards the listener is also shared by the singers in Negai. Those singers state, “Over this, I desire nothing / Won’t make [another] wish in this life / Just want to be by your side.” The singers also add, “Again understanding the meaning of those red tears / Why do these hands, seek for love? / “Understanding pain” / That is my final wish.” Again, we can observe similarities in their wish to be of benefit to others. In this aspiration, we can also observe the same expression of wanting to understand the pain of others.

When understanding the pain of others, it is very easy to fall to our knees in sadness and despair. However, for many of the singers discussed thus far, they have a common trait that protects them from being overwhelmed by the pain of others. This common trait is faith. Believing in one’s self and faith are important qualities in keeping hope alive and with persevering through pain and hardship. As illustrated by the singer in Brave Your Truth, “BRAVE YOUR TRUTH, BRAVE YOURSELF / Therefore strongly transform / Piling up endeavors and prayers also.” Yi understands the importance of prayer, and instructs us to wrap up our hands when we pray, and to shake our nightmare with this shared heat. This heat or ‘netsu’ was discussed in Brave Your Truth as a “fever of un-catchable loneliness” that was conveyed to the listener. In I’m Here, this fever/heat or ‘netsu’ is again shared with the listener, and again this ‘netsu’ empowers us to fight and battle our nightmares. It may be this ‘netsu’ that Yi instructs to burn red, and it may be this ‘netsu’ that STILL SHINE. With this heat/fever of ‘netsu,’ it is unsurprising that this heat/fever continues to try and spread, and Yi’s heart/spirit cries out (or, ‘sakebu’)

Not to go too deep down the rabbit-hole, this is not the first time we came across the strong feeling of wanting cry out and screaming. The singer in Namida ga Koboretara states “Life is merely bursting to an outcry.” It appears that this singer is also overflowing with ‘netsu’ as they state: “In the depths of the breast, appears to burst open / The thought (and/or) feeling is surely the truth right?” Moreover, it is likely the heat/fever of ‘netsu’ that causes the singer’s breast to tremble, their tears to overflow, and what beckons them to transmit their thoughts and feelings into our language. As I mentioned in Musical Lesson 76, Namida go Koboretara is a call to action. The singer experienced great suffering from merely observing the pain of the world. In order to overcome this pain, the singer resounded or allowed the thoughts and feelings in their breast to roar and rumble. The roaring of the breast, likely caused by ‘netsu,’ may be a virtuous thing (like bodhicitta), especially if the roar instills faith and compassion in others and awakens them to our shared reality. This spreading of the heat/fever of ‘netsu’ is comparable to the spreading of happiness as demonstrated in this true-ish Buddha quote: “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the single candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” It is very possible that Yi and many of these other singers share this candle-like-‘netsu’ and this may explain why they are so active in caring for others.

Where does this leave us now? Throughout this analysis, we observed a spiritual friend or guide that proudly declares “I’m Here” and offers their hand to us. We have been skeptical of this spiritual friend or guide, who is a personification of the wind in Birds. Now we have the opportunity to take this hand… but again, should we? One important consideration we should weigh in this decision is the intentions of this spiritual friend and guide. In I’m Here, the singer states that this task of fighting on our behalf is more important than their own freedom. This is an important quality we should examine when evaluating any spiritual friend or guide. It is far too easy these days to come across spiritual teachers that give spiritual guidance only to satisfy their desires and to serve their own ends. When we examine spiritual teachers like Jesus and Buddha, they were revolutionary in that they can Be Love, and they had the quality of taking our burdens as their own. And how were they able to bear such burdens? Well they were fueled and energized by their boundless love and compassion for others. It is important for us to understand that this love is not directed towards oneself, but is a selfless form of love that is directed towards others (I would argue real selfless love is extremely rare; properly applied by Jesus/Buddha, Saints/Bodhisattvas, or similar spiritual guides from other traditions). This may be The Word love the Beatles spoke about that can set us free.

So what is the take away? Well, there are spiritual teachers that offer their hand, and likewise offer their love so as to benefit us spiritually. Whether we accept “the single embrace of love” is up to us (and our contemplation and reasoning on the intentions and goals of the giver-of-that-love, and the pros/cons of accepting that love). There are spiritual friends, guides, and teachers from various traditions that extend a hand of love towards us. Next we will examine one of the possible outcomes if we decline to reach for the hands that extend towards us. Look forward to the next lesson~~

~ Poetry ~

Uploading a storm

Words that tear into the flesh

Truth shining falsehoods

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