#also look at me trying to gender him correctly and use the correct pronouns. they’re a fucking ass
Text
okay so i.. just gotta vent/rant. don’t read if you’re uncomfy? also brief tw! suicide mention in the 2nd last paragraph
i can’t exactly tell you why yet, but god, i’m not okay right now. i’m angry. sad. hurt. i feel played. yk, my ex is abro & genderfluid? i think? at least their insta says that, tho idk how often they update that. but his whatsapp pfp currently has an mlm & a trans flag on it, so, at least rn, they’re trans mlm and i think he goes by he/they? and, like, i’m happy they’re comfy in his identity and all that shit. like, pop off, ig. nice you can be you. but i feel so fucking played by this goddamn bitch. at least i’m now 100% sure that i’ll never ever go back to them no matter what?
when we were in a relationship (that was uh 8 months in 2020/2021, from october until very early june) he basically forced the label 'woman' onto me. back then, they were a non-binary lesbian going by they/she, i think. not too sure about the pronouns, but that doesn’t really matter. the problem was the label lesbian. they knew well before our relationship that i identify as demiboy. and for me, there was nothing lesbian or wlw about that. i identified as omni ace, with a pretty big mlm lean. they knew there was zero girl in me and still identified as a lesbian, saying i’m an 'exception' and all that stuff. tbh, i don’t think he ever saw me as anything that doesn’t include girl or is heavily male. and, idk, i’m just fucking angry. because, now, after a year, he’s fucking gay. they’re identifying as a person that could be attracted to me with labels that i’d be okay with in a relationship. (like, idc if you’re lesbian & attracted to me. kinda contradictory with my identity, idc tho. but as soon as we’re dating & you’re a lesbian, i’m not comfy.) it’s fucking with my head, fr. why?? why could he never be gay for me??? why did they have to be lesbian?? i forced myself to be genderfluid for them. we called our relationship lesbian because he wanted to. i ignored all of me and tried to identify as a non-binary lesbian for them, just so he’s comfy. and now, suddenly, he’s fucking mlm.
i know they aren’t at fault for identifying the way they do, but it fucking hurts. like, i made myself out to be a whole other person for 8 months!!!! eight!! while not comfy at all!! and 4 out of those, i wasn’t even happy, and only stayed bc i was 99% sure he’d go kill himself once i break up and i was so fucking afraid of that!!!!!
i can’t fucking put the shit i’m feeling right now into words. i’m not livid. i’m not bawling my eyes out. i guess i’m just angry. pained. disappointed. hurt. idk. but not happy, not happy at all.
#idk just a rant/vent#i fucking hate them. i hate them!! i hate him!!!!!!!!!#i hate him so much. i hate them! i hATE THEM!!! I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!#sorry that felt good. that was very good i wish i could’ve screamed it#man i’m so. fuck i hate him so shitty fucking much!! there’s not enough swear swords to describe it#i could fill books with all of the things i want to tell them but i don’t think it’ll ever be enough#it makes me very sad too. we had an amazing relationship as besties#(at least before i noticed how toxic he actually was all the time lol)#ngl i don’t think i was a lot better but i can’t remember any of my actions so i’ll never know for sure#also. no. i’ll never forgive them. and i’m okay with that#and no. i don’t think talking it all out is an option. i don’t think we could ever work together again#no matter in what relationship#i want to tell him all of these things but i don’t even know where to start#maybe i should really just write books lol#also look at me trying to gender him correctly and use the correct pronouns. they’re a fucking ass#but ig he still deserves the basic right of not getting misgendered#and no this isn’t me trying to look like a good person#this is me trying to get people to understand that misgendering is never okay#unless it’s a cishet transphobe who misgenders you on purpose. but yeah#no misgendering people you hate ty
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Self-Made Man (Karl Heisenberg Trans Headcanons)
(CW: mentions of gender dysphoria, misgendering, unsafe binding, and other unsafe transition practices.
Also, PSA: DO NOT try binding with bandages or duct tape. Use a proper binder that is correctly sized for you. Do not be like Karl here, who will eventually learn from his mistakes.
Anyway, enjoy!)
Figured himself out around the time he hit puberty, more specifically when he heard about what AFAB people had to go through during it.
Basically his thought process about it was "What the fuck? What the fuck?? I don't like this, I don't like where this is going, mission abort, MISSION ABORT--"
Had to deal not just with gender dysphoria but also the painful Cadou experiments Mother Miranda imposed on him. HOW FUN.
Even when he wasn't on the table being picked and prodded, when it was time to "go home" and recover, he could barely even look at himself without feeling like himself.
It was pretty much only by the time he was (physically) 15 that he had had enough. If he was going to suffer under the bird bitch, he better at least be seen the way he wanted to be.
He insisted on being referred to as a man, and wasn't afraid to correct anyone who either made a mistake or deliberately does so.
If they did it on purpose -- and he knows if they did -- then he starts yelling. Just fucking screaming. Very loudly.
If they keep trying to talk without using the right titles and pronouns, then he would yell over them. Repeatedly. Without fail.
He doesn't have full control of his magnetic powers yet so this was the best he could do. And it's not like anyone would dare to try anything physically with him, not with Miranda on "his side".
As soon as they get it right though, he's just quiet and nodding, though with a seething glare that said "Don't ever try me again, fucker."
It was very effective.
The huge baggy coat that he still frequently wears was sort of just his version of a "dysphoria hoodie". It did the job.
When he was younger, he got his hair cut short every chance he could. He thought it made him look more manly that way, and people would take him more seriously as a man with short hair.
Did a lot of dangerous things (unknowingly) while trying to medically transition on his own. It was mostly because he was too impatient to do actual research then.
Tried binding using the tough bandages the Benevientos kept around their house because he wanted his chest to be AS FLAT AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.
Moreau and Donna had to talk him out of it when they found out, only after he kept passing out during every family meeting since he started.
Donna instead gave him a proper binder when she did her own research on trans essentials. Karl thinks it doesn't get him as flat as the bandages did but at least he could breathe now.
He still wore it for days at a time though, which was also very terrible. He was incredibly lucky that his healing factor helped him not get fucked up in the long run.
Obtained testosterone from the Duke, who for some reason didn't question it, but without proper prescriptions so he just started injecting willy-nilly all because he did some cursory research about how it can masculinize bodies.
Once again had to be talked out of by the Duke and Alcina (back when she still cared about his well-being) when the former found out about what he was doing with it.
Was forced to see a doctor close to the village lest he lose his supply of boy goo.
Isn't afraid of injecting himself when necessary. One time he tried using his powers to do it with no hands. He almost missed and didn't do it again after that.
Has a few tattoos that inconspicuously also served as marks for his injection sites.
Definitely tried performing top surgery on himself. Alcina had to wrestle the scalpel out of his hands.
Like he was READY, he had an anatomy book on one hand, he had already marked on himself what and where to cut. He looked at a mirror and thought "okay titty go bye bye"
But alas, Alcina had to ruin everything. (She didn't ruin anything, Karl would've probably given himself an infection if he tried slicing himself open.)
In a way though, he found out that his "siblings" cared about him and how he approached his transition. It was kind of sweet.
Mother Miranda cares so little about Karl that him transitioning was no big deal at all. As long as she could still use him.
(He thought it was kinda funny but also sad that she had no regard for him whatsoever that she ended up indirectly supporting him instead. It was a weird way to look at it.)
When he finally did get surgery (safely and legally), his mutation helped him heal ridiculously fast. What would've been a few weeks of recovery and months of scar healing instead lasted just under a month.
Which was great for him because he wanted to get back on his feet as soon as possible. When he was up and running just two days after surgery and could remove the drains and post-op binder, the doctor was too bewildered to even speak.
Whenever he was alone in his factory, you bet your sweet ass he's shirtless 99% of the time. Dude didn't threaten a surgeon pay for surgery not to show off his nips.
Like most things in his life, his name was actually something he never thought of during his transition.
He didn't have that big of a problem with his deadname surprisingly, and he just kind of relied on everyone referring to him by his family name. Even Miranda only ever called him Heisenberg.
Though the thought of distancing his old self from his new self was appealing. Getting people to forget who he was before and being known as someone else, as who he was now -- yeah, that sounded good. So he decided on...
Karl.
Short, simple, and a name that pretty much no one could fuck up saying. It was perfect.
He rarely ever heard it when he was called, but finding it scrawled on Miranda's notes while he was snooping around one time almost... made him smile.
(Did she care? Or did she also just think it was easier to write than his deadname? Meh, oh well. Best not to dwell on it too much.)
Doesn't care for getting bottom surgery, but does want to get a hysterectomy. The potential for periods is always going to be a bitch.
Started growing out his hair when his beard was filling out. He thinks long hair is quite high maintenance though and he doesn't want it to get in the way of his work so it never goes past his shoulders.
Loves talking just because he loves how his voice sounds.
Proud of who he is and his journey to get where he is today. He only learned the term "transgender" recently, and once he did, he thought "Hey that's me!"
If anyone tries to be even the slightest bit disrespectful to him and his gender identity...
...they're getting thrown down the cellar with Sturm.
"It was your choice to be an ass, it was my choice to see you sliced to bits. Have fun!"
#resident evil village#resident evil 8#re8#karl heisenberg#lord heisenberg#trans karl heisenberg#i may or may not be projecting onto this funky metal man#thought he sounded like an elvis impersonator at first#he still kinda does#but he's grown on me in a way i didnt expect#trans headcanons#karl heisenberg headcanons#ftm karl heisenberg#ftm headcanons#cw gender dysphoria#cw misgendering
56 notes
·
View notes
Note
hello! could you talk a bit more about the original (as in jp, not localization) ouma's personality and speech patterns? you've mentioned that he tends to trail off or speak more softly when it is implied he is speaking the truth, etc. and how he is not so loud/intentionally obnoxious. //btw when does he call himself a fairy? that's so cute
I got a couple of questions asking about the fairy line Ouma has, so I don’t mind sort of rolling them both into one! And I’m more than happy to talk a little more in-depth about Ouma’s speech patterns and personality in the original game, too!
Since I’ll be covering some late-game spoilers, I’ll put the bulk of this under the cut, so be careful when reading!
First off, I cannot stress how much I recommed playing ndrv3 with the Japanese voices enabled. If you’ve already played through the English dub but never experiened the original voice acting cast, I promise you won’t be disappointed. The Japanese cast are all fantastic, incredibly talented VAs who, unlike the dub, were hired specifically for these roles and not just re-casted from previous DR games.
Hiro Shimono as Ouma gives an absolutely incredible performance. The localization might still have many flaws in its translation and omission of certain lines or punctuation, but you can still very much get a feel for how Ouma’s character was intended by listening to Shimono’s performance. Re-playing the game with the Japanese voices will definitely let you hear how soft and tonally different Shimono’s performance is in places from the English dub, and compare it to the way in which many lines are written and punctuated as if Ouma’s yelling at everyone.
That isn’t to say that Shimono’s Ouma is never loud or excited: Ouma is a character whose moods and façades are all over the place, and therefore his performance requires a voice actor who can similarly change moods and intonation on a dime. Ouma is very much loud and haughty and deliberately annoying when he’s supposed to be, but his voice is also low and ominous at other points when he’s trying to be scary. And again, it’s soft and hesitant in places where he’s considering divulging some of his information, or when he’s insisting that all the things he does are for everyone’s sake, because he cares about them and doesn’t want anyone to die.
These moments feel so much more genuine in the Japanese version of the game--because they’re meant to be. As fantastic of a liar as Ouma is, it’s much easier for us, the player, to tell when he’s lying on a re-play, knowing the information from chapters 5 and 6 that we do, and looking at cues like his sprites (often his blank-faced ones) and, yes, his delivery of certain lines.
This probably sounds like me just gushing about what a fantastic voice actor Hiro Shimono is, and in part that’s exactly what it is, but I want to stress that pretty much every single voice actor in the Japanese cast is just as fantastic and that they all do their jobs incredibly well. With all that gushing out of the way, I’ll move on to talking about some of Ouma’s actual speech tics and the way he refers to other characters.
Like most things about him, Ouma’s speech patterns are sort of an interesting mix and even seem a little contradictory at times. He uses the very masculine pronoun “ore” (オレ), but he also refers to nearly everyone (with only a handful of exceptions) by their surnames and the much more childish honorific “-chan” (i.e. “Saihara-chan,” “Akamatsu-chan,” “Amami-chan,” etc.)
The use of “-chan” is very interesting. Honorifics in Japan are extremely complicated and tend to mean different things depending on who is using them. Typically, “-chan” is seen as a very feminine way to refer to someone else, commonly used in close-knit friend groups among school girls.
There are, of course, a few notable exceptions to this however: often times, middle-aged or elderly people will call a child “-chan” regardless of gender, as a way of showing they find them cute and endearing. And sometimes, people will use “-chan” to refer to other things they find cute, such as pets, or even to refer to themselves in a sort of informal, tongue-in-cheek way.
The fact that Ouma uses “-chan” as an honorific to refer to nearly everyone in the game stands out quite a lot: by and large, boys don’t use this term to refer to other boys. Using “-chan” to refer to anyone you’ve just met or don’t know very well is already somewhat frowned upon, but a boy using it to refer to other boys is especially rare. This helps set Ouma’s character up as someone who is both incredibly casual and informal with others (not to mention, you know, quite coded). Considering childishness and lightheartedness are traits Ouma values, and how much emphasis is put on him having “a very innocent, childish streak that’s hard to hate,” it makes sense then that he would talk like this.
Not counting Monokuma and the Monokubs, the only characters who Ouma doesn’t refer to with “-chan” are Gonta and Kiibo, who he simply calls by name. This also says some interesting things about his character.
Gonta is easily the character who Ouma interacts with the most often, as well as the charater he hurts the most in the end. Ouma’s choice to exclude Gonta from his usual way of calling people is, I think, a testament to how much Gonta really wanted to be friends with him, even if their friendship was never exactly on equal footing.
Meanwhile with Kiibo, I feel the choice to exclude him from his usual way of addressing others is indicative of how much Ouma tried to remind himself that Kiibo “wasn’t human,” and therefore how suspicious he found his presence in the killing game. We know Ouma suspected Kiibo and likely even had an inkling of his role as the audience proxy/camera in the game, due to how Kiibo’s picture is one of the only others set aside on his whiteboard besides Saihara’s, with the word “weird” written next to it (he also clearly guessed about the cameras after Gonta’s line in chapter 2, as we see from how he commissioned Miu for the bug-vac).
Ouma clearly enjoys teasing Kiibo a lot, and their banter reads very much like a manzai comedy duo; I feel like Ouma often tried pushing himself to remember that Kiibo “wasn’t human” on purpose in order to not get too attached to him or too distracted from his goal of ending the killing game. I don’t think Ouma’s decision to exclude Kiibo from the way that he very particularly referred to most of the rest of the group was just an accident or a coincidence.
Honorifics aside, Ouma also refers to several characters in interesting ways. He often uses “daisuki na ___-chan” (大好きな) to refer to some of the other characters, a phrase which more or less equates to “my beloved.” He uses this phrase with Saihara more than any other character of the game, but there are a few other instances where he does use it with Amami, Momota, and (if I’m remembering correctly) Kaede. Pretty much every single instance where the localization put, “because I love you” or “because you’re my favorite” whenever Ouma was talking to Saihara was usually a point where he would specifically call him “my beloved Saihara-chan.”
In chapter 4 during the scene where Ouma is alone in the parlor of the VR world, he also specifically, exclusively refers to Saihara as “suki ni natta hito” (好きになった人), literally: “the person I fell in love with.” This line was changed in the localization to, “when there’s a person I like,” which is more or less literally correct--however, the phrase “suki ni natta” is much heavier and more loaded with explicitly romantic implications than “suki” would be on its own, as it’s often used in Japanese love songs and shoujo manga love confessions.
Worth noting in my opinion is the fact that this is the exact same phrasing Maki uses to describe her romantic feelings for Momota. Since Maki’s feelings for Momota are considered canonically confirmed because of this, Ouma’s feelings should be considered equally canon, but a lot of people don’t know this because, well, it’s sort of been lost in translation.
And now, on to the fairy line! Ouma calls himself a fairy in chapter 3, when he pops up in the middle of Saihara and Korekiyo’s discussion of the katana in Korekiyo’s lab. Full of enthusiasm, he decides to touch the sword and examine it for himself; Korekiyo starts to object, but Ouma interrupts and says:
“Come on, it’s not a big deal! I’m like a fairy, so it’ll be fine!”
I’ve always really loved this line and thought it was super adorable, both as a nod to how fairies aren’t supposed to be able to touch steel in most fae mythos, as well as the fact that fairies tend to also have a love for mischief and pranks and lies. The localization apparently didn’t like it so much though, because this line is simply changed to, “Come on, would I lie to you?” instead.
One final thing I can think of as far as Ouma’s speech tics go is that his laugh in Japanese is romanized as “nishishi” instead of “neeheehee,” as this is closer to the Japanese onomatopoeia for the sound horses make--but I actually don’t mind this localization change at all! “Neeheehee” definitely looks a lot closer to the word “neigh” and helps capture that horse joke in a way that I feel like western players can more easily understand.
All in all, while I still definitely feel people can like and enjoy Ouma’s character from playing the localization alone, I still stand by my opinion that listening to the original Japanese voices helps give a much better picture of how the character was intended to come across, and really shows how much depth Hiro Shimono put into his performance. He’s quoted in the official ndrv3 artbook as saying that he believes Ouma is someone who’s actually “really meek if you take away his strong wish to outwit everyone” (credit to @kaibutsushidousha for the art book translation), and I think this interpretation of Ouma really shows through in so many of his lines.
Thank you both for the really fun questions! I hope I could provide some more interesting information about Ouma and the translation!
298 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey cliona! I have questions. For women (or anyone femme-alligned I guess). Because I was AFAB and I'm trying to figure out if I'm really trans or if I'm just subconsciously making it up for attention? and I don't know, I just feel like you're a really nice person and I feel safe asking you these questions.
And these questions may be super weird so it's okay if you don't answer them/ don't feel comfortable answering them. Like seriously, they're very personal so it's okay if you ignore this or only respond to some.
Do all cis women feel weird about their... you know... boobs? (I don't know what to call them sorry) when they're growing up? (I'm sixteen) As in, do you look at them and go "oh they look nice, I'm fine with them." or do you look at them sometimes and think "I don't know how I feel about this."
Do you sometimes wish you didn't have them and wish you were a cis guy so that you could go shirtless sometimes?
Do you ever wish you were born as a guy? (not because of the male privilege but just. because. I don't know don't really have a proper reason beside I just feel like it would feel better? I don't know.)
If someone (consistently, like not as a one off mistake) used he/him pronouns for you would you be really uncomfortable with it and correct them or would you be okay with it?
Do you ever look at fanart or just look at a guy and go "holy fuck I want that." or "I wish I looked like that"? (like every time I see Logan or Sirius I'm just like I WANT TO LOOK LIKE THEM I WANT TO BE THEM. and I don't know if it's just because I want to look attractive? but then again, I never feel that way when I look at fanart of a woman? I don't know.)
I'm sorry if this is weird or creepy. You can choose not to answer it, I'd totally understand. Thank you!
Also sorry this is really long and basically me ranting but I'm just desperate at this point. Gender is tiring.
Hiya! First up,  if you’re feeling like you might be trans, I don’t think it’s something you would do for attention! Gender is tiring and none of this is weird or creepy, I just hope I’ll be able to help a lil!
My dudes, I’m gonna get real up and personal in this answer with some shit I’ve been wondering if I would ever speak openly about so here we go!
Do all cis women feel weird about their boobs?
Okay let’s just dive right in! I actually was born with a condition known as Poland syndrome which means I was born missing my my right pectoral muscle - basically I’m saying that I only have one boob. I have my left breast but I don’t have anything on my right side because there is simply no muscle there so I might have a little bit of a different relationship with my breasts than other cis gendered women but I will still try answer this as best I can! Any weirdness I do feel about them is related to the vast asymmetry etc but not because I feel uncomfortable having breasts. I intend on having plastic surgery to get me that other boob, not cause society or whatever, because it’s genuinely what I want. I have a prosthesis (so a fake boob. It’s silicone and I call it Larry) and the all my bras are specially designed with pockets for my prosthesis and while they’re functional and comfortable and stuff I am so excited about being able to wear pretty bras. As soon as I get my surgery (if it works out) I am going to buy so many nice bras and shirts with low cuts and all the things that I have never been able to wear because they don’t fall correctly on me. (While I know I might not be the best person to speak about having breasts, I also think I might be perfect because ever since I was 9 years old I’ve had to think about what I wanted, and I love them! I’m excited about the clothes and bras I can wear with them so maybe that might help put your own feelings in perspective)
So I ever wish I was a cis guy so I can go shirtless?
I do not. I actually imagine getting my surgery so I can go shirtless! I mean, not that I’d go running around shirtless on the regular and stuff, but it’d be nice to have the option. I imagine it with breasts though, not without
Do I ever wish I was born a guy?
I think the only time I’ve ever thought about it is when dramatically singing ‘if I were a boy’. Otherwise, nope I’ve always been very happy with the body I was born with
If someone consistently used He/him pronouns for me, would I feel uncomfortable/correct them?
I’m very privileged in being cis in the sense what if someone misgenders me, I’m okay with it. I mean, if it were constant I would definitely correct just so that they would know, but it doesn’t bother my what people call me because I am very secure in myself and my identity
Do I look at fanart of guys and wish I looked like that?
No, never. Bar the occasional jealousy for Sirius Black’s hair, my only thoughts when I look at fanart of guys is admiration of the artists talent or just loving the art, not wishing I look like them
I hope this helps a little!! I wish you all these best of luck and I’m sending so much love. You’re always welcome here any time!💕💕💕
#question time with clíona#cliona's corner#gender identity#body imagery#cw body talk#poland’s syndrome
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some late night ramblings Re: gender and toddlers bc I can't sleep.
I mentioned a while back that my kid's pediatrician asked if he could tell boys from girls and how much it upset me, like, can you?? (<-- I regret not saying it. I should have.) At the time I said no, he thinks everyone is a boy.
I soon realized I was wrong; he doesn't think everyone is a boy, he just only knows/uses he/him pronouns. Boys are he/him, girls are he/him, inanimate objects are he/him. I've been working on it with him every time he gets it wrong (but it's not working at all)
Ignoring for a minute that I don't particularly like that my 3yo can correctly (or as correctly as anyone else) say 'that boy won't play with me' or 'that girl took the ball'... (Like, how can he tell? They’re just kids...) Even though he can't grasp pronouns I'm glad that he's exposed to gender neutral on a regular basis thanks to the librarian that does toddler time at the library, Mx. Jude. I feel like it's scary to tell parents your proper pronouns because so many people are shitty but I'm glad they did. I guess I should write a comment card or something? Or is that patronizing?
I've been working on my own pronoun use, too. I try to remember not to assume and to use neutral terms unless I know otherwise. Kinda hard to unlearn a lifetime of cis stuff but I try. Sometimes I mess up in my head at work -- hard not to make assumptions when speaking with a nurse named Angela -- but I (think) I always remember when leaving a note saying who I spoke to be neuter about it.
It’s already paid off. Kiddo is in swimming lessons and his teachers rotate all the time so I was introducing him to the week’s teacher. I don’t know if I would have caught myself if it wasn’t easy to see that the teacher was wearing clothes that came from a different department than their AGAB but it slowed me down enough that I remembered to use a they/them, despite my brain telling me I could just assume their gender and sexual preferences based on a glance. I’m really glad I did bc when I tell you their eyes just LIT UP and being called they/them by a new parent.
So much so even my mom saw it, I think. Or maybe she picked up on me continuing to use those pronouns when talking about them later? I don’t think I ever mentioned them again though. I do know that I saw mom use the correct pronouns weeks later when we saw them again, in that way where she had to slow down before she said it to remind herself to use they/them. I know it’s a struggle for her. It’s hard to re-learn! She’s very good about Mx. Jude in front of kiddo but sometimes will slip when talking to be about them.
I probably slow down the same way, though I try not to. It doesn’t come naturally yet. But I’m glad that I’m working on it. And I’m glad people from my mom’s generation are too.
I grew up with Fox News playing like 24/7, except when we were in the car: then it was Rush Limbaugh. I believed all the rhetoric. But occasionally something someone said would seem Too Unfair to me, and if was coming from my mom I would say so. One time a butch woman (I think. Who knows.) was spending, like, a long time primping her hair in the Target bathroom. Mom muttered something like ‘she’s spending an awfully long time on how she looks for someone who doesn’t care how they look.’ and I was like ‘who says she doesn’t care?? Just because YOU don’t like women with short hair doesn’t mean SHE doesn’t like it. You don’t know she cut it just to say ‘fuck you’ society.’ (though, now that I’m older and wiser, more power to them if they did. I also like to imagine they were getting ready for a date or talking to a cute cashier.)
She used to say It’s okay to be gay but they shouldn’t be *married* they can just have ‘civil unions’. It took me YEARS to stop believing that, but when I did I found an excuse to bring it up again so I could say something about it.
And folks? It worked?? Like I didn’t notice at the time. I don’t think she really responded either time and the subject moved on. But even she still remembers that time in the Target bathroom because it left such a ‘o shit the kid’s right’ imprint on her, and it’s made her think about some things more critically.
But now we’re at a point that my mom will text me about how my kiddo loved playing with Mx. Jude today, just casually in a text. I didn’t even know where she learned that Mx. was a thing. She didn’t learn it from me. (I’ve since gathered she probably learned it from the teacher.) I’ve never really talked her much about gender outside explaining why some people go with bi and some pan and some other ones out there.
Which! Side note. When her teenaged nephew came out as bi to her sister, and then the sister talked to mom about it, mom was able to explain ‘just because someone’s attracted to multiple genders doesn’t mean it’s always all genders equally; sometimes it is, or sometimes people will still have some preference to girls or boys but are still bi’ because apparently of all the things I said to her about it that one was like a lightbulb for her. I have no idea why it mattered in the conversation tbh, only that she later said she was happy that she understood that now, thanks to me.
I hope this isn’t patronizing to mom, and I don’t want anyone to think ill of her bc she’s super amazing and caring and works so stupid hard for this family. But it’s just great to see that other former Fox-News watchers can just learn to teach themselves to be progressive.
(Dad’s changed a lot too but not in an anecdote-able way, not as socially, so idk how to describe it. Definitely thinks more critically though.)
One more before I resort to sleep meds I guess. My cishet BFF just informed me that her spouse is a transwoman. She’s wanted to tell me forever (like 6 month I think) but they weren’t out about it yet and it wasn’t her place to tell, all I knew was that her and spouse were in therapy about something she couldn’t talk to me about yet.
I focused more on her reaction to it when I was talking to her, because I know how much she hates secrets and has wanted to talk to me about it and I wanted her to tell me all the things she’s been holding back. And also their family’s reactions because they suck. (The reaction is that everyone thinks her wife is going to hell, even the wife’s mother.) But the first thing I asked was how to spell her wife’s new name.
When the conversation was over and I had her permission to tell others I informed my spouse and mom, because they also know my BFF and might talk about her spouse and I didn’t want them to accidentally misgender/deadname her.
My mom’s first question was how to spell her wife’s new name 😂 (and then if she was using she/her pronouns or smth else).
Idk. It’s exciting. I’m happy for all you funky little queer folk. I’m sorry my ass is taking so long to catch up. I’ll make sure my kiddo is better than me. Forgive him for misgendering over half the population currently (and most inanimate objects).
#now that i've written it all it's like way too personal to post right#but also#I've already written it all...#it's a good thing my posts only get like 4 notes#Also for the record my kid will know that we use he/him only for convenience#but not to assume we're correct#and they can correct us at any time with our full support#anyway I saw a kid at his swim lessons in head-to-toe-to-towel spider man merch from the boy department and I assumed girl#just because he had long hair???#wtf me#I knew not to say anything out loud so that's good#my husband has long hair. He got a lot of shit growing up because of it#(utah sucks)#what's wrong with me#hope mom doesn't see this but I've got too many followers on my side blog
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Guide for Writing Trans People
Written by a Trans Man.
I’ve seen a lot of different posts on how to write trans characters (absolutely none on how to write cis characters and I am so lost on how to do that oh my goodness) but maybe I’ve got a different perspective and maybe I’ve got something you haven’t heard before. Let’s go!
Terminology
There are a lot of different genders out there, not just male and female. Some people think Trans men and women are some outside of the binary extra gender, which is very much not true. While many trans people do fall outside the binary, there are a lot who are strictly male or female. Therefore their genders are male and female. The trans part is not part of the word, it is a definer to state that the person is transitioning, that is all. So when you write trans man or trans woman the words are separate, not transman or transwoman.
A trans man is someone who is transitioning his appearance for society to view him as male.
A trans woman is someone who is transitioning her appearance for society to view her as female.
The reason I am wording it this way is because they were already their genders. They have always been their genders. Transitioning is greatly influenced by the way we are treated by society, the same way that beauty standards influence people to contour and get surgeries and whatnot.
Demi means mostly in terms of gender so a demi boy is someone who is male most of the time and a demi girl is someone who is female most of the time.
Agender is someone who has no gender
Genderfluid is someone who shifts from gender to gender
Genderqueer is someone who’s gender is nondefined by other terms
Two Spirit is a third gender that encapsulates masculinity and femininity (according to Wikipedia) that is only used by Native Americans
Third Gender is a gender that can encapsulate or be a completely different solid gender like male or female
Nonbinary is someone who is somewhere on the spectrum between genders and their gender is defined by them
Pangender is someone who has all genders
Androgyny is not something that actually relates to gender as much as it does presentation. Presentation does not inherently tell you someone’s gender. Being androgynous just means that someone fits right in the middle of societies expectations of male and female and their AGAB cannot be guessed by onlookers.
AGAB AFAB and AMAB mean Assigned Gender At Birth, Assigned Female At Birth, and Assigned Male At Birth. At birth someone will often assign a gender to a baby based on their genitals and parents tend to show off what sort of genitals their baby has with accessories and colors. Pretty creepy if you ask me.
FTM and MTF has been deemed problematic but many still use them. They mean Female to Male and Male to Female. The terminology states that the person’s AGAB is their initial gender and they are becoming the opposite when, as stated before, it’s more that they were always their gender and now society has to catch up.
Gender Nonconformity can be practiced by anyone regardless of gender. It just means that they do things that aren’t expected of someone of their gender like men wearing skirts (for some reason?) or women growing beards or a nonbinary person not being androgynous (for some reason that’s become an expectation)
Intersex is not a part of the trans umbrella, even though it is often lumped in and people who are intersex can also be trans. It is a sex (different from gender) in which different parts of genitals and chromosomes and hormones are produced in a way that deviates from the norm. Many intersex people undergo genital reconstruction or reduction surgery when they are infants (and can’t consent) in order to fit the mold better. Intersex people can be cis.
Cis just means that someone agrees with the people who assigned them a gender when they were a baby and how society treats them.
Slurs: Don’t use them. There are a lot. If you see it in a porn category you probably should stay away from it.
Pronouns
Pronouns are highly personal and can be a myriad of things so I will not be going over all of them. They do not always match presentation (a long haired man with breasts is still a man) and many people will use multiple sets of pronouns or fluctuate between them for what they feel most comfortable with.
Common pronouns are: they/them, he/him, she/her
Less common pronouns are: xi/xir, fae/faer, it/its, e/em, per/pers, ve/vir, zie/hir
Neopronouns: People make up pronouns all the time since they are personal and these new pronouns are just as valid as any others. Someone made up his and hers after all. When making neopronouns the main thing to be aware of is consistency. You want the different forms of conjugation to make sense and you want to spell them the same way every time.
Appearance
As has already been stated, there’s no correlation between gender presentation and gender and many trans people are unable to present the way they want to due to the economy, genetics, health, or community. Still, people do what they can to pass or feel comfortable in their body and these things need to be in mind during descriptions. People tend to think of the slight things that make people not pass are unattractive and will point out a woman’s 5 o’clock shadow or a man’s high pitched voice as flaws. These things do not necessarily need to be skipped over but they can be described in a way that doesn’t distract from the characters gender.
Try to stop thinking of an hourglass shape as an intrinsically feminine trait and height as an inherently masculine one. There are cis women with full beards and cis men with round jaws. Exploring different features, combining them, and seeing how they meld will give your characters more depth and help with differentiating them from one another. A good rule of thumb is, if you mention something that people don’t immediately clock as the characters gender, describe it as gender accurate.
Misgendering
This is another one that I would say don’t do but there are characters who the writers don’t always agree with. Misgendering is extremely harmful, puts trans people’s lives in danger, and can out them without their permission. The narrator should never misgender a character unless the character does not realize they are trans until the story is underway but this should be rare. The trans character would have no reason to ever misgender themself and may talk about how they presented in the past but will, most likely, still refer to themself with the correct gender. The POV character may misgender a trans character upon meeting them but after being corrected should fix their behavior unless you want your audience to dislike the POV character. Friends of the trans character should not misgender the character unless they are in a situation in which being correctly gendered would bring them harm, otherwise they’re not good friends. Family may misgender the trans character if they are not out or if the family members are terrible people.
Dysphoria/Euphoria
Dysphoria is when there’s a painful discrepancy between mind and body, like when someone knows they are one way but they don’t look the way they feel. Misgendering can be a large cause of dysphoria, as can hearing a recording of their voice, reflections, binding and tucking not hiding what the individual may want to hide, height, muscle structure, bone structure, etc.
Euphoria is the exact opposite of this. It is an extreme sensation of peace and joy in personal gender presentation. This can be caused by hormone replacement therapy, correct gendering, presenting in a way that feels natural, and acceptance.
Dysphoria is not necessary for being transgender.
Social Groups
Look around your friend group. Notice anything eerie? Notice how most of your friends are similar to you in a lot of ways, especially IRL friends? They’re people that you trust and expect to keep you safe while having a fun time with because you share interests and experiences with. Same for trans people. This is why, if you look at my friend group there’s 2 genderfluid, 1 agender, 1 nonbinary, 2 trans women, 1 trans man, and 1 cis man (who’s a cousin). If you have just 1 trans character in a group of friends it is going to read as a need for diversity points and that character is less likely to feel safe with discussing trans issues due to no one around them being able to relate.
Outing
This is one that a lot of people have a hard time with and even trans writers mess up a lot. We all know the infamous scene of someone walking in on a trans person changing and, hopefully, we know that this is not only cliche but actually harmful as it tends to lead to the idea of “lying” when it’s really just not anyone’s business and that trans bodies must be on display. I would say that you shouldn’t have to out your character because coming out is dangerous for real trans people in a lot of situations and it normalizes the idea that trans people must doxx themselves at any moment but due to the lack of representation and the nature of novels, you pretty much have to out your characters. No amount of subtext will be as beneficial to a trans reader as cementing the fact that there’s someone they can relate to in canon. Luckily outing a trans character is a lot easier than people think.
Some of us can’t shut up. A lot of trans people will hint at it a lot and just flat out say it if they’re in similar company. If we see people who we feel confident are also queer we often drop hints that we understand we’re safe, they can come to us (especially in a retail setting), because we want a community. The amount I bring up my masculinity is very very often, to the point I’m surprised people aren’t annoyed with me. I don’t pass very well so I wear a lot of brightly colored buttons that explicitly state my pronouns. There’s also this very strong urge to correct people who use gendered language for things that don’t need gender (like sexual organs and menstrual cycles). There’s nothing wrong with just saying that a character is trans.
Resources
The best thing you can do for your story is research. The trans people you know are not google and they do not deserve to be treated like google. You can use google. Here’s some stuff I found on google:
Dummies | Transequality | EverydayFeminism | Scriptlgbt
But no matter how much research you do it’s not going to be as useful as a sensitivity reader. Once your story is complete ask people to read it as beta readers and sensitivity readers and listen to the people that fit your minority characters.
Some musicians to check out for inspiration
I have to recommend music. I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t.
Agender: Angel Haze | Mood Killer
Androgyne: Florian- Ayala Flora |
Genderfluid: Aja | Miley Cyrus | Dorian Electra | Jana Hunter | Ruby Rose | Sons of an Illustrious Father | Eliot Sumner | Maxine Feldman | Chester Lockhart
Genderqueer: Sopor Aeternus | CN Lester | Planningtorock | Chris Pureka | Sam Smith | Rae Spoon | Vaginal Davis | Ezra Furman | Randa | Vivek Shraya
Genderneutral: Grimes |
Nonbinary: Arca | Mal Blum | Justin Vivian Bond | Adore Delano | Grey Gritt | Rose McGowan | Shamir | T Thomason | Beth Jean Houghton | Openside | Fraxiom
Pandrogyne: Genesis P-orridge
Trans Man: Alexander James Adams | Bettens | Little Axe and the Golden Echoes | Cidney Bullens | Meryn Cadell | Ryan Cassata | Quinn Christopherson | Beverly Glenn Copeland | Quinn Marston | Clyde Peterson | Schmekel | Lucas Silveira | Billy Tipton
Trans Woman: 1.8.7. | Nadia Almada | Vacancy Chain | Barbra Amesbury | anohni | Estelle Asmodelle | Backxwash | Mykki Blanco | Namoli Brennet | Tona Brown | Sara Davis Buechner | Mya Byrne | The Neptune Darlings | Simona Castricum | Lili Chen | Jessie Chung | Coccinelle | Jayne County | Bulent Ersoy | Deena Kaye Rose | Bibi Anderson | Marci Free | Teddy Geiger | Gila Goldstein | Laurie Jane Grace | Romy Haag | Ai Haruna | Juliana Huxtable | Mila Jam | Christine Jorgensen | Lady | Left@London | Amanda Lapore | Liniker | Jennifer Maidman | Michete | Trevi Moran | Angela Morley | Ataru Nakamura | Octo Octa | Dee Palmer | Kim Petras | Axis of Awesome | Katey Red | Patricia Ribeiro | Danica Roem | Jackie Shane | Breanna Synclaire | Sophie | Ramon Te Wake | Terre Thaemlitz | Cindy Thai Tai | Titicia | Venus Flytrap
Two Spirit: Tony Enos | Cris Derksen
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
reaction: ateez s/o being nonbinary
anon: maybe ateez reaction to their s/o being pan and defining themselves as nonbinary (yes okay i literally just described myself)
note: you also described me so!!! uwu anyways a gift bc im avoiding studying for finals. *reminder that this is just my opinion* also ateez doesn’t support terfs, truscum, or transmedicalists :) also this lowkey just turned into ateez as trans rights activists 👉👈
Hongjoong:
he seems like a pretty open guy, spent time learnign about gender and sexuality and sex and the differences
literally doesn’t matter to him what gender you are, as long as you still love him you’re all good
when you tell him he lets you speak before asking any question
prefaces every question with “i don’t want to make you uncomfortable so you don’t have to answer”
if you decide to change your pronouns or name he’s 100% on board
askes you who he can tell and correct when they misgender you bc he doesn’t want to out you or create any dangerous situations
buys you lots of new gender affirming clothes and celebrates small victories with you, like getting correctly gendered in public
he’s your number one hype man
Seonghwa:
he is confused at first
like wtf is a nonbinary, but then you answer his questions and he googles the ones he’s too embarrassed about and BAM everything’s good
honestly as long as you’re still his baby he’s happy
is very aware of the gendered pet names he called you in the past and works very hard to find gender neutral alternatives
starts with normal ones like honey, or little one, but it slowly descends into madness
“hey sweet pancakes” “my lovely cloud” “my favorite cutie patootie booty”
spends time educating the boys so they know how to address you now
he makes sure everyone respects the absolute hell outta you
no misgendering or mean comments here
or seonghwa will beat them up
Yunho:
this boy is the absolute sweetest thing in the entire world
when you come out he’s 100% supportive and ready to help you do whatever he can to help you feel gender euphoric
really just an angel
starts reading up more on trans identities and how he can support the community as a whole
buys trans flags/ nonbinary flags to hang up
he’s just really excited to be there for you and be the best ally he can be
is calm when helping you explain it to others and when you get frustrated he is there to educate when it gets exhausting
the kinda person to then question his own gender and question gender as a social construct entirely and start getting angry at baby gender reveals and color associations and fights back real hard
Yeosang:
we all know yeosang shy, but he’s confrontational
someone fucks up your pronouns, this boy is THERE AND ready to calmy educate as long as people are trying, but fight if they’re disrespectful
obviously gives you all his clothes to wear if you decide you’d like a more masc look, but will take you shopping to buy you a new wardrobe if you decide you want to change the way you present
is always telling people “just bc my s/o looks like *insert sex here* doesn’t mean they’re not nonbinary” “clothing has no gender”
loves you with his whole heart and knows that the boys have his back always if they have to defend you
the kind of person to recommend resources that he can spread to help educate other people
kind smart boy trying to save the world
San:
very loud about your gender and pronouns
not in a dangerous way, he always knows who is around but screaming about how proud he is of you
always has the best intentions but some times gets caught up on things
“but if you don’t believe gender is like a real thing why are you so worried about wearing men’s clothes?”
you have to explain that even though you don’t like gender, the world does and presentation, although it is an individuals choice, you are attempting to appear more *insert gender here* in order to be perceived a certain way
this boy always has questions and criticisms of gender
ready to fight terfs, truscum and transmedicalists
gets in comment fights on the internet and attaches sources to back him up, san is serious as hell about this
Mingi:
confused to start
gender is super confusing anyways but the fact you can be neither/both really sends him overboard
switches name/pronouns right away and works real hard not to slip up
asks lot of questions all the time
“so if gender isn’t on a spectrum, how does it work? like it is a pool of ducks and your gender is a duck just swimming along, no correlation to the other ducks?”
watches a lot of trans youtube videos to further understand
seeing other peoples experience really helps understand you and gender as a concept
king of gender neutral terms and pet names
you’re his royalty and nothing less
Wooyoung:
sweet boy
a sweet lil boy who listens so well and tries his best
buys you things that he knows will make you feel gender euphoric
loves u more than anything in the world
he just really is proud of you for being vocal about your gender and standing up for yourself and educating people
absolute angel boy who has your back
if your relationship with him goes public he makes sure to always talk about your pronouns so its clear what they are
gets angry when the media misgenders you
so vocal about how trans rigths are human rights
always finding new ways to educated himself and the people around him
Jongho:
like san he’s ready to fight anyone who tries to fuck with you
YOU GET A TRANS FLAG ! yOU GET A TRANS FLAG ! THE KITCHEN ! THE LVIINGROOM ! EVERYTHING IS TRANS AND GAY NOW!!
no but really tries his best to show you how supportive he is of you bc he wants you to know that who you are isn’t wrong
he knows the worlds a shitty place, and wants to make you feel safe at home with him
reads up on lgbtq+ rights and things to get a better understanding
uses his public platform to make sure lgbtq+ atinys know they are loved and always safe with ateez
a vocal ally !
he’s just the best boy i am soft now imaging jongho at a pride parade smiling and waving flags and :((((((( my boy
37 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey so I’m trying to explain to my best friend what it meants to be non-bianary. It’s hard because I identify as a cis woman & I want to be sensitive to nb folks. I also want to explain it correctly. When I tried she replied “well they obviously have to know if they are a man or a woman.” I told her not everyone feels like a man or a woman but I couldn’t elaborate. She just doesn’t understand. What do I say?
Even I have trouble explaining it. I just know I’m not a woman, but not a man either. I don’t want society to perceive me as either of those things because it feels wrong. But everyone’s experience is different, so I can only speak for myself. And I will explain this to the best of my ability based solely on my own experiences.
In order for your friend to understand that there can be a person who feels like neither woman nor man, she first has to detach genitals from gender, and understand that they are not dependent on one another. I think that’s where many people get stuck, especially cis people, because there are two main types of genitals — vagina or penis. If she can see a pre-op trans person as the gender they identify as (for example, if she can see a transwoman with a penis as a woman), then she’s already got this idea! Some people are born with both types of genitals, and so you’d think maybe they feel like both a woman and a man, but that’s not necessarily true. Some intersex people feel like one of the binary genders (woman or man) and take hormones and/or get surgery to match that identity. So genitals and sex do not equal gender.
Gender is a social construct. Women and men are treated differently by society in certain ways. And it has nothing to do with what’s in your pants, because how do people know what’s in your pants when you’re walking around? Identifying as a woman means that you want to be seen as a woman and treated as such. And identifying as a man means that you want to be seen as a man and treated like one. But what happens when you don’t want to be seen as either of those because neither of those things feel right? ...or as both? Or maybe one day you feel like you’re a man, and the next you feel like you’re a woman? What then? How do you choose when both feel equally incorrect...or equally correct?
For me personally, I feel like somewhere in between. When I stand with a group of women, I can relate to some things, but I don’t feel like one of them. I also feel that when I’m with a group of guys. It’s the same feeling your friend gets when she’s with a group of guys. She can relate in certain ways, and she can hang out with them, but she knows she’s not one of them. And it’s not because she doesn’t have a penis like they do, but because she is a woman and identifies as one. I get that feeling with both of the binary genders — that I am an outsider. If she still has trouble disconnecting genitals from gender, then ask her this...
Imagine you feel exactly the same way you do now, like your soul is the same, you still like the things you like and you still are who you are, but you wake up one day and you have a penis. And it’s not a temporary thing, you’re now stuck with it forever. This is your body now. Do you want to start living like a man now just because you have this new body part? Do you start going by he/him pronouns even though it feels wrong? Do you go into the men’s bathroom when going into the women’s bathroom feels right? What do you do then?
For some people, being called she/her and he/him pronouns feel equally wrong. And going into the women’s and the men’s bathroom feels equally wrong. And being called “ma’am” or “sir” feels equally wrong. And when you’re standing in a room and someone says “okay all women stand on this side of the room, and all men stand on the other side of the room” some people just truly don’t know where to go. And what’s in their pants, or on their chest, or what clothes they’re wearing, doesn’t matter. Gender is something inside you, not outside. You feel it in your soul, and everything you choose to do on the outside is a form of expression based on who you are and what feels like you. So, the outside (the body you’re born into) doesn’t determine the inside (your soul)...but rather, the inside determines the outside.
All humans are so similar in ways we don’t even realize. We try so hard to separate women and men into these two drastically different categories, but they’re not all that different. We all feel, we all bleed, we all love...we’re so similar. And no matter what body you’re born into, hormones can change it very easily. If a born female takes testosterone hormones, their voice changes, they grow body/facial hair, fat redistributes from the hips/thighs to the belly and other areas to give a straighter looking shape and strong jawline, the clitoris grows to look very similar to a small penis, they stop getting their period (for the most part), and their sex drive raises. And when someone born as a male takes estrogen hormones their body changes as well and they stop growing hair everywhere, and sometimes their penis shrinks, and fat changes to give a more curvy shape and soft looking face, and their sex drive lowers, and so on. Here are a couple of examples:
(A person born as a female who changed testosterone levels)
(A person born as a male who changed estrogen levels)
I don’t know either of these people and if they’ve had bottom surgery, but let’s assume they didn’t and they have the same genitals they were born with. If you saw these people on the street, you would assume the top person is a man and the bottom is a woman, despite what’s in their pants. Because these things such as body/face shape, hair, etc. are the things we use to determine woman or man...things that hormone levels create. And we treat that person a certain way based on that outer appearance (AKA, the amount of estrogen and testosterone in their bodies). So if you think about it, the fact that our bodies can change so easily just from changing hormone levels, means that we’re not all that different from each other. Separating “woman” and “man” from each other in such a drastic way is a societal idea, not a scientific, because anybody can look like a woman or a man without surgery no matter what sex (female or male) they’re born as. And so if that’s the case, and we can easily go back and forth, then doesn’t it make sense that some people can feel, and be, somewhere in between?
Some cis people will never get it because their body matches their gender identity, and so it’s very difficult to imagine the real possibility that for some people, it doesn’t. And that’s okay. It’s a lot to wrap your head around, and it takes a lot of time and a lot of patience for the idea to start to make sense, especially when we live in such a binary world. But everything is a spectrum, even gender. And just because you are on one of the very ends of that spectrum and you were born into a body with the right amount of hormone levels to match your identity, doesn’t mean that everyone is the same.
I hope this helps!
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not A Hardship
TUA Pride Month, day 5: Coming out
Diego has been sitting on a thought for a while now: How did Five adjust to his identity so well? I mean, he knows that the kid read Vanya’s book. And she had the courtesy to at least use his name and pronouns in the godforsaken thing. But he must’ve looked like a complete stranger - an imposter. He was 13, forced to see his dead, transitioned sibling. Five hasn’t once slipped up on his name or pronouns since he’s been back.
TW: Slight discussion of misgendering/transphobia
Diego Hargreeves has had to “come out” many, many times throughout his life. Certainly more than most people barely out of their 20’s. He’s been out as male for 15 years now, bisexual for 10. The process of coming out certainly isn’t a one time thing: you don’t just tell people once. It’s a never ending cycle.
He’s gone through the uncomfortable coming out process to his new coworkers when he found their eyes lingering on the scars beneath his pecs a little too long to just be a passing glance. He has to come out on every first date, a little part of him terrified of the reactions to come. He's been subjected to too many ignorant, spiteful words - too many T slurs for it to get any easier. He has to disclose his identity to new doctors, hoping his extensive google research of trans friendly professionals proved to be right.
And every single time he goes through this he still experiences the heart dropping anxiety he did the first time he came out. 15 year old Diego stumbled through his words, his bangs shielding his glazed over eyes as he found solace in Klaus on his bedroom floor all those years ago.
The only sibling he hasn’t really come out to yet is the now littlest one of the bunch, Five. Diego came out two years after he disappeared. The two were never the closest as children, not like Five and Vanya or Klaus and Diego. Five was always too wrapped up in overcoming what Sir Reginald deemed plausible for him to notice much else. And Diego himself was too immersed in his own personal training and ranking to spend much energy on the boy three ranks below. The second Five disappeared however, Diego’s anger caught up to him. His brother’s disappearance then followed by his other brother’s death was the slap in the face he needed to truly realize the monster they grew up calling Dad.
But that was then and this is now. And now, they’ve avoided the end of the world. Now, they’re all living under the same roof again, relearning what it means to be a family. Because their sense of brother and sisterhood is certainly warped due to their upbringing. It meant relearning everything they thought they knew about themselves and one another.
Diego has been sitting on a thought for a while now: How did Five adjust to his identity so well? I mean, he knows that the kid read Vanya’s book. And she had the courtesy to at least use his name and pronouns in the godforsaken thing. But he must’ve looked like a complete stranger - an imposter. He was 13, forced to see his dead, transitioned sibling. Five hasn’t once slipped up on his name or pronouns since he’s been back.
And every sibling had their own adjusting period with his identity. Klaus of course was the most receptive, taking little to no time to gender him correctly. The first week though, there were a few slip ups. Allison took a few months, Ben around the same. Vanya avoided using gendered language for him for quite a while, just saying ‘Diego’ or ‘Number Two’ instead of pronouns. And Luther, well, the guy tried his best. He saw how his face fell every time he messed up, how quick he was to correct himself. And that’s all Diego could ask for really.
But Diego can’t exactly imagine that being something on Five’s priority list during his time in the apocalypse.
“Oh yeah, I’m 13 years old and I’m stuck in the goddamn end of the world right now! But let me focus on my dead sibling and uhhh not misgendering or deadnaming them. Also, how am I going to survive winter?” doesn’t quite seem all that plausible.
So Diego’s just going to ask him. Well, he’s been trying to that is. He’s been standing in front of Five’s door venturing on ten minutes now, working up the courage to just knock. They have all been trying to do that lately - communicating. They actually talk through their thoughts and problems. And so far it’s proven to be beneficial. Who knew that efficient, healthy communication actually worked?
Five swinging the door open, properly knocking the man square in the head, snaps him out of it though. He stumbles back a few steps, hand jumping straight to his forehead.
“Jesus fuck, Five!” He hisses, rubbing at his throbbing temple.
Five rolls his eyes, taking a step back in his doorway and shoving a hand in his pocket.
“Maybe you shouldn’t just stand in front of doors, Diego. I heard that’s a good method in avoiding getting hit by one.”
“I was gonna knock, dude. Maybe cool it with the violent opening?” He scowls, dropping his hand.
“I’m assuming you actually want to talk about something instead of just throwing insults? Because you and I both know we could do this all day.”
“No I,” He clears his throat, “I wanted to talk, yeah.”
Five nods and steps aside, motioning Diego to come in. He’s pleased to find his walls are no longer covered in chalk equations. They haven’t been since they found Five passed out in his room, every single wall littered with equations. He worked himself out so thin that he didn’t wake up for another three days. He’s been getting better at taking care of himself, his family always reminding him to take breaks and whatever else he needs throughout the day.
“So,” Five takes a seat at his desk chair and Diego on the mattress, “What’s on your mind?”
Diego stares at his interlocked hands in his lap, his thumb twisting at the ring on his index finger.
“I just, I never really-” He stops himself, trying to picture what he wants to say in his mind. Not purely because he’s afraid of stuttering, no. But because he’s not even quite sure how to word what he wants to say.
“Is this about you being trans?” Five finally asks after a few beats of silence, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.
Diego looks up at the question, meeting Five’s eyes.
“Yeah, it is.”
“I just wanted to ask why, or like, how you adjusted so well I guess? It must’ve been a lot seeing me...I mean I know seeing us like that couldn’t of been easy, of course.” Diego prefaces, placing both hands out in front of him and waving them slightly,
“But I probably looked like a-a completely different person to what you knew.” His voice is noticably smaller by the end of his rambling than when he started.
Five listened patiently as Diego spoke. He sucked on his cheek in his mouth, his brows furrowed ever so slightly. “Well, I was able to figure out it was you by the tattoo. And you were always so angry when Grace made you wear bras. It was easy to put two and two together.” He explained, waving a hand in the air and the other one still tucked.
“And as to how I adjusted? I read Vanya’s book of course. And I had to relearn the way I addressed you in my head. I worked on it for ages, adamant on gendering you correctly. Number Two, Diego Hargreeves. Brother. He/him.” Five went on, putting up a finger with each word.
“There were times I messed up of course. And I definitely was not happy with myself when I did.”
“But-”
“No Diego, I already know what you’re going to say.” Five interjects, leaning down to rest his elbows on his knees so he can stare at the man at eye-level,
“That wasn’t a hardship for me. It was important to me. Important I gender you correctly, to give you the respect you deserve to be seen as who you are. Yes, I had a lot hard shit to deal with. But coming to terms with you being my brother certainly wasn’t one of them.”
Diego swallows, processing the weight of Five’s words. The fact that he cared that much about him, that he loved Diego enough to do that for him, spoke volumes.
“Five, I-” He stops himself, standing up and closing the space between them. Five stands up, beating Diego and wrapping his arms around the taller man’s waist. Diego smiles softly, wrapping one arm around his shoulder and the other cradling his head. He leans down and places a kiss on top of his hair, “Thank you, Five. I love you.”
Five grins, scrunching his brother’s sweater in his hands and letting out a muffled,
“I love you too, Di.”
#trans diego is near and dear to my heart!!!!#always#whipped this out in 30 mins on the bus aaa#diego hargreeves#five hargreeves#the umbrella academy#tua#tua fanfic#the umbrella academy fic#trans!diego#transphobia //
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
ThePedanticRomantic Rebuttal: “Traps” Don’t Exist And Here’s Why
youtube
This video has been out for a month, so maybe nobody cares about it. I made a previous debunking, but decided to re-do it. If you still care, you’ve come to the right place. If you don’t, then why are you still reading? There’s two other rebuttals on this, one which I’ll link because I liked the video, the other I won’t because... I didn’t.
First thing’s first, kudos to PR for clarifying the Lily Hoshikawa situation. Really frustrated at people trying to weave Lily into what she isn’t. Unfortunately, that’s about the only good thing I have to say about this video.
Second thing, before we move onto The Beef. Neither Astolfo nor Ferris/Felix Argyle are nonbinary/trans. Astolfo does use they/them pronouns sometimes and their gender is listed as a secret sometimes, but they also use he/him pronouns, and get listed as male. Astolfo has a very teasing personality, liking to mess with people, and that’s painting the medium by reflecting that mindset in some of the official guides and stuff. That’s the exact same tier of joke as a girl’s character sheet listing her weight as “that’s rather rude to ask”, but you somehow believed that was an official sources even though that only happens sometimes.
The Felix situation is even more blatant ignoring of the actual character. The reason Felix acts girly is because Crusch, the lady of house Karsten, is something of a tomboy and people expecting her to act like a real lady gets in the way of her work. They made a promise to each other, with Felix lending Crusch his “knightly side” and Crusch lending Felix her “girlish side”, so Crusch would be unobstructed in her duties and Felix could excel at serving her better. Demanding to be called Ferris and declaring himself a “pretty girl” is part of this, so he could seem more feminine and “make up for” Crusch and otherwise hold up the promise. Blocking secondary sex characteristics is also this. If he went through puberty and became more man-ish, that would break the promise because he couldn’t be girlish like what he promised. Felix doesn’t actually identify as a girl. He outright says he is a man “in both body and soul” and one chapter is outright titled “Felix Argyle is a pretty boy”.
ThePedanticRomantic used Lily’s backstory, context, and character to point out how she was trans, but completely glossed over all of that for Astolfo and Felix to lie about them being nonbinary and trans respectively. It’s incredibly transparent (pun not intended), because Lily’s explanation takes the first 5 minutes of the video, Astolfo gets 10 seconds, and Felix gets a minute.
Second, the video really bothers me as someone who is vaguely interest in language, lexicon, and all that junk. Pedantic spends several minutes talking about how Trap evolved from “crossdressing boys who make pingy feel funny” to trans and other similar identities too, making the point that the language is too fluid to just say “well that one’s wrong”... But then she says that because it’s gone too far, it’s unable to be reclaimed or used non-offensively? That’s doublethink so bad I got whiplash and am now typing from the hospital. Language can have multiple uses, but still have “wrong” use. Like, let’s look at “Lterally.”
Speaking on strict terms, Literally means “exactly, without exaggeration”. “That bear was literally nine feet tall”. But people also use literally in a figurative sense. “That bear was literally the size of a house”. I’m sure there’s a proper word for this, but it’s taken on a slang connotation. Both of those sentences were “correct” in that they both flow correctly, and you get what the person means, but by the book, the second person was incorrect because that’s not what the word means, and they stretched it for some purpose.
Similarly, let’s look at “trap”. “Bridget from Guilty Gear is a trap” is correct because this fits the original definition of the term, and the intent of the usage aligns with what the majority of people mean when they say this, contrary to what the video would have you believe. “Erica Anderson from Catherine is a trap” is incorrect because she, a trans girl, doesn’t fit the original definition of the term, and even though you know what people are egging at when they say this, they are the minority, and the vast majority would agree that they are using the word wrong, in addition to the fact that they’re probably dicks or at the very least misinformed.
Additionally, Jasou and Otokonoko, while I like those words and a buddy o’ mine even uses them frequently, are not the solution. First of all, you even said that the history included both crossdressing men, and trans women. So does Trap and Drag Queen and any other word implying some degree of not conforming to gender roles. This seems to be saying that Jasou and Otokonoko are “good” simply because they haven’t been “tainted” yet. Tying into the second point, what’s to stop transphobes and Edgy People and other buttheads from adopting Jasou and Otokonoko and use those to refer to trans people. At best, we’re just rotating words and sooner or later, we’ll be right back at square one. At worst, you’re actively ringing a dinner bell for them. You know that these kinds of people love jumping on “safe words”, mandating a newer, gooder word that doesn’t have offensive connotation will just encourage them to use it in an offensive sense, and then we’re back to square one.
Perhaps the biggest one of all though, ties back into the idea I discussed with Literally. The intention of the user matters a whole lot. Trap alone is just a word with a few implications and meanings attached, but it’s nothing until someone applies it, and what it’s applied to. If a person calls a crossdressing anime boy a trap, that’s not transphobic. If a person calls a transgender anime girl a trap, that’s transphobic. Similarly, if you call a crossdressing boy a crossdresser, that’s not transphobic. If you call a transgender girl a crossdresser, that’s transphobic. If you call a crossdressing man a man, that’s not transphobic, If you call a transgender woman a man, that’s transphobic. You wouldn’t make a video trying to state that “crossdresser” or “man” are innately transphobic words and that we should stop using them and replace them with something else, you would correct the person using those incorrectly that it’s incorrect, and if they persist, you dropkick them like garbage into a trashcan.
And, while this isn’t as strong as the other points... The “far right memetic anime fan” burn says more about you than it does about any dissenters. If you end your thesis with “and if you disagree, you’re bad”, all it does is display a lack of confidence in your persuasive and informative skills on your part. To anyone who was on the fence, you guilted them into agreeing with you for fear of being called a transphobe, to anyone who disagreed with you, you just stacked the deck because now they’ll already have people predisposed to thinking them a monster, and to people who already agreed with you, you just pandered to them.
I’d also recommend watching this video by TheSMonroeShow. Seeing it on my dash inspired me to re-do this rebuttal, and he focus more on the general history and connotations and junk where I mostly focus on ThePedanticRomantic’s statements and how language works.
youtube
#thepedanticromantic#the pedantic romantic#trap#jasou#otokonoko#rebuttal#discourse#oh no renardie is posting#infoxicated
18 notes
·
View notes
Note
Any tips on writing nonbinary characters? Like, any 'do's and 'don't's? I really wanna get it right, so I thought I'd ask someone who actually identifies as nonbinary :)
Any tips on writing nonbinary/trans characters?
I got two asks for this (maybe from the same person?) and it’s taken me some time to write an answer since this is such a broad... question.
Thing is, nonbinary is both a gender in and of itself but also kinda an umbrella term? Since you also have people who are agender, bigender, genderfluid, etc. who would also technically fall under the umbrella, but don’t call themselves nonbinary since that’s not the label they want, and since the latter labels are a lot more... specific.
Non-binary simply means that someone identifies as a gender outside the binary of man and woman and that’s it.
There’s also the fact that I’m pretty sure I have some opinions other nonbinary people wouldn’t agree with (for example, I dislike neopronouns. Xir/Xe and Zie/Zir are the only ones that’s pronounceable to me. And I straight up dislike nounself pronouns and actively avoid people who only use nounself pronouns since to me, they are. Too hard and complicated to use. I remember reading a really good post on why nounself pronouns are linguistically incorrect in English and how to properly format them to be correct, but I dunno where that post is now) which is also why I have been hesitant about this.
Also it’s a complex... hmm thing. So yeah.
I think the first thing to ALWAYS remember when writing a minority character is that their status as a minority is not their only trait. Don’t use cliches. Don’t make them one-dimensional and make an enby’s entire personality revolving around the fact they’re enby. It’s othering, at least to me, and just plain bad writing.
Another thing is, even tho I wish there were more books out there about being enby (are there any really out there at all?) for the most part I think cis authors should be careful and kinda tread around writing about an enby’s life and being enby. Unless you have done a shit ton of research, know exactly what you’re doing, and have talked to multiple different enbys (and not just over text either), I would merely have the character. Be there.
1) it’s a lot easier who wants to do all that research??
2) still counts as rep (as long as it’s positive)
So how do you write (possibly?) positive rep for a enby character? Let’s go back to pronouns. The most versatile and acceptable pronouns for enby people is they/them tbh. It’s completely gender-neutral. There are enby people who use gendered pronouns as well (She/her, he/him, maybe they use all three!) but writing-wise, it would be easiest to keep to one set of pronouns to make the writing easier to read. I dunno about anyone else, but I for sure would get tripped up and confused if a character’s pronouns change throughout a book. (Maybe it can be written well idk but I don’t think I’d like it personally sorry) so for the most part? I suggest just sticking with they/them. It’s the easiest to write.
Also, I suggest to never call your enby characters “it”. Yes, some irl enbys like “it” as a pronoun, but to most it’s dehumanizing, so it’s best to avoid it I think.
Interestingly enough, even tho they/them is the easiest to write with, it can also be a little tricky at times! Sometimes you’ll have to format sentences differently so readers can understand the difference between the singular and plural forms of they/them. Personally, it’s a fun writing exercise to me! So if anything, writing about an enby character can actually help stretch some different writing muscles so to speak.
And speaking of pronouns, never ever have the narration misgender the character. Never. Hell, usually, I don’t even have characters or even the VILLAINS of my books misgender characters. And my reasoning behind this is: I dislike using transphobia/enbyphobia as a tool to show a villain is evil--their actions alone in the novel should be enough. And two: if even the evilest of villains aren’t transphobic... that says a lot to me. It speaks VOLUMES and is a lot more powerful of an (unsaid) statement then having your villains be transphobes. (but that’s just my opinion ofc!!)
Now, to me, if you’re just writing about a enby side character, I would just have them. Be there. Not misgendered, everyone regarding them using the proper pronouns, and avoiding gendered language (which can be hard as it is hardwired into us without us even knowing, for instance!) so make sure you edit accordingly.
Also, and I think this should be OBVIOUS by now, but PLEASE do not write a “forced coming out” scene. Like, where the cis character walks in on an enby character changing clothes or whatever. Like. That is. So over with and done. Ik that terrible trope fits trans men/women characters better, but I think it’s still important to say here, esp if you’re writing an enby character who tries to pass as the opposite of their birth gender or binds/stuffs/packs/etc at all. It’s uncomfortable, possibly triggering, and honestly? Super cliche. It’s bad writing, my friend.
And whether or not you want to make the direct statement that they are an enby is kinda up to you? There’s arguments for and against it. If you can fit it into the story safely without making anything clunky, go for it! You can either have the character themselves tell someone how they identify, or maybe they’re being introduced and they ask the person they are introducing themselves to to use “they/them” since they are an enby. I’m sure there are other, more creative ways to do this, but yeah. This specific topic is super situational so I would have a sensitivity reader (or two!) to read over what you write to make sure it’s okay.
Okay the last thing I’m gonna talk about is character description. Ignoring the fact I personally am terrible at it, there’s a kinda huge divide here.
For one, a lot of authors and I think enby people in general don’t want others to know their birth gender, which is understandable. And with writing, there isn’t any visual clues besides what you write down. The world is your oyster, you can have your character look like anything, the reader won’t know the birth gender unless you use gendered language.
The tricky thing is this, tho: the stereotypical enby person/character is someone who is skinny white and vaguely masculine. I, personally, despise this stereotype with my whole being. Imo, enby people can dress and look however they want. Clothes are just fabrics we put onto our flesh bodies. If girls can enjoy pants and boys can like dresses and skirts, then enbys can dress however they want to as well. That’s a freedom I think everyone should have. Clothes don’t dictate gender. Enby people also can’t control what they look like. Some people.. just won’t ever be able to pass as androgynous (unless they Really Work at it, like me!!) and it’s unfair to them I think as well.
That being said, writing an enby with feminine clothing, for example, will probably have your reader think of them as DFAB, unfortunately, unless you are really careful.
Other things that can make your reader think of an enby’s birth gender: describing them having to wear a bra or having a period, describing if they have to shave their face or not or how much facial hair they grow, describing their genitalia AT ALL, describing them with certain face/body shapes, describing their hair length (possibly), if they wear a binder or stuff a bra or pack, describing if they wear makeup and the list can go on.
Some people would think you should avoid this completely, which is why vaguely masculine is what people go for. it’s the typical androgynous look (which isn’t bad pe se and I don’t wanna insult anyone who looks like that!) but imo what would be more normalizing and important is to have enby characters look how they want, choose if they wanna wear a binder or not, if they wear makeup, and etc.
Some people might thing the above is completely fine and that it’s important to show anyone can be enby and you’re still valid as an enby even if you might not “pass” for instance or don’t try your best to conceal certain secondary sex characteristics. Others might think you should make your enby characters as androgynous as possible, even in the stereotypical way.
Which view is right? Dammed if I know, and I don’t think one is or not. But it is something to think about. I think the stereotypical response to a cis author would be to go with the safest option and allow enby authors write about enby characters breaking gender roles, but honestly, it is your character. Whether you make your enby character vaguely masculine to avoid those pitfalls or go balls to the walls and do whatever you want because enbys can dress and look how they want fuck you all is up to you. Do what you think your character would do and design them to match their personality. I don’t think people should be boxed into what sort of characters they are allowed to make.
And don’t be afraid to make mistakes. It’s okay if you fuck something up by accident or are accidentally insensitive. And honestly? Groups of people aren’t a hivemind. No matter how good your representation is, there will be someone who disagrees with you and thinks you didn’t “write it correctly”
all I can say is: learn as much as you can, always strive to keep learning and listening, and do the best you can. You can’t succeed if you don’t try and you can’t learn without making a few mistakes along the way.
(And as for trans characters... I myself am not a trans man/woman so idk how to best say what not to do, but I think it follows the same as above for the most part? I’d ask the opinion of a trans man or woman first rather than an enby like me, as even I have fucked up writing about my trans woman character in the past. I’ve learned a lot since then, but I think I am still learning and would rather not educate someone on a topic such as that. Also this post is already long and I am Tired of writing about this topic lol)
I rambled a lot as usual and I am so so sorry. It’s late and this was SUCH a broad question I didn’t?? Really know how to answer so YEAH SORRY if this is no help at all!! I tried my best!!
#shutuplanx#writing#writing advice#nonbinary#enby#my writing advice#man i hope i dont get anyone nasty on this post LMFAO#if i do ill just ignore n block them i guess#Anonymous#lbanswers
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey, I have a trans question... it's kind of hard to articulate, but basically I came out, and my parents are accepting in that they accept me, but they don't really... believe me? They don't gender me correctly, but instead of making me mad at them, it makes me feel like maybe I made a mistake and I really am a cis girl. Part of why they don't see me as a guy is that I present pretty femininely and don't bind or anything, and I guess I could change my entire wardrobe and my body but I (1/2)
am comfortable with who I am. I'm this weird mix of feeling like I shouldn't have to change anything about myself, because someone who looks like me should be able to use he pronouns and male language, but I also think I'll never pass as I am. Basically everything is making me doubt myself, but the idea of living life as a cis girl makes me feel like I'm going back in the closet, not like I'm being my true self. I don't know how to stop doubting.
This ask as a lot of stuff to talk about so I’m going to go bit by bit with it.
Firstly, if your parents are misgendering you, they don’t accept you. If they don’t believe you, then they don’t accept you. At least from my perspective. Perhaps there’s something else going on here, but from the way I see it, if they’re denying your gender identity, they might say that they accept you, but they don’t.
Next, I also tended to react to this sort of thing by confusion and not anger. For me, because I have a close relationship with my parents (it was rocky for a bit in the middle but has since smoothed out), and because I “came out late” (I was 18ish) I felt that my parents must know me better than I knew myself, and that was why they didn’t believe me. I feel like, based on the part of your message where you talk about going back in the closet, that you’re having similar thoughts that I was. It sounds like you know within yourself that you’re trans, but your parents’ refusal to accept you properly is causing you to doubt your own perceptions of yourself. If you know that living as a cis woman would feel wrong, like going back into the closet, and not make you happy, then you’re trans, and the issue is no longer “am I trans?” but rather, “how can I get my parents to gender me correctly?” so they stop causing these unfounded doubts.
In terms of how you present, I honestly commend you. I’ve reached a point in my dysphoria where I could never do that, but I’m a fairly masculine guy presentation-wise, and it just sounds like that’s just not your thing. And that’s fine! There are plenty of feminine cis men. Because your parents know you, know who you are, and you’ve explicitly told them that you want to be gendered in a certain way, they have no excuse to gender you any differently, regardless of how you present. You’re right, someone who presents like you totally has the right to want male gendered language applied to him.
However, with general society, you’re getting into sticky territory. I agree with you that if you’re comfortable, you shouldn’t have to change a thing about yourself. I also agree with you that if you tell anyone that you prefer male language and he/him pronouns, they should use them and nothing else. But, you referenced a fear of not being able to pass, and I’m going to be honest with you, you’re fighting an uphill battle with general society.
The sad truth is that society is very cisnormative, and we as a trans community are trying to challenge that, but progress is slow. If you present very femininely and don’t have any “masculine” features to balance that off (facial hair, flat chest, square jaw, etc., and again, super air quotes here, because these are not just masculine/male traits) the people that gender you on sight, the strangers passing by, the shop clerks and baristas, they will gender you as female. If you want to, you can correct them, but at some point you’re going to have to decide if that’s something you’re interested in doing, if that matters to you or bothers you if your friends and family do gender you correctly.
I want to make something abundantly clear: I think the politics of passing are largely bullshit, but I’m also saying that as a trans man that passes and personally values passing. But I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that if you that the way things currently are, every single person will gender you correctly on sight. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing! Passing is all about what you value. If you value passing to the people you interact with daily (friends, family, classmates, etc), but couldn’t give a damn about the barista at Starbucks, that’s absolutely fine and more power to you.
I also want to say that regardless of if you “pass”, it’s no excuse for people who know better to misgender you, and I think that’s the heart of what I’m trying to get at here. You are trans, regardless of your parents misgendering you, regardless of if you don’t present masculinely, you’re still trans, you’re still the gender you say you are, and those who know better, those who’ve been corrected, have no excuse and no leg to stand on if they misgender you. Those doubts are coming from a place of anxiety because society is cisnormative and doesn’t believe that trans people are real. But if the idea of going back in the closet, or not living authentically, makes you as upset as you say it does, you’re trans, and like I said before, the question is not one of your identity, but rather, how you can get the people around you to treat you correctly.
This answer is getting very long so if you have follow up questions about that or anything else, please let me know, and I hope this helped.
7 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
soloandre
Andrea P.
jodieeehua-blog
立夏時分
mysticalspacetaiphoon
gay trans robo cat girl
grovexlindberg-blog
Turn Turn Turn
