A Guide On Lessening Yourself
(Or, What To Do Before They Cut You Open)
This guide has been created to prepare you for your upcoming procedure. Please read carefully and follow all directions in order to have the safest experience.
RECOMMENDATIONS:
- Do not eat. (Required; at least 3 hours before the procedure starts. No meats, no vegetables, no grains, and especially no fruits. Any remaining food that is being digested will get in the way.)
- Do not drink. (Required; at least 2 hours before the procedure starts. No water, soda, juice, soup, milk, coffee, or energy drinks. Any remaining fluids will get in the way.)
- Do not bleed. (Required; at least 1 month before the procedure. No paper cuts, nosebleeds, injuries or other form of your own blood leaving your body. Restriction of the expression of your mortality is imperative.)
- Do not dream. (Strongly suggested; at least 1 month before the procedure starts. No daydreams, no hopes, no wishes, no lifelong goals, and no nightmares. Avoid losing yourself within any fantastical trappings - these are the vestiges of a mortal mind.)
TIPS:
BEFORE
- Make sure to confirm your procedure date. Whether by checking online, asking your doctor, or praying, it's of utmost importance that you remember the specific time and day of your event.
- Make certain that this procedure is for you.
Though the process has already been scheduled, you still have options if you're unsure. Asking God or previous patients are the most authentic ways to learn about this process. Consider the benefits and consequences of the procedure as a whole - this will undoubtedly affect your life, but will it be more negative rather than positive? Will you be able to be happy again? If you are willing to accept such possibilities, continue on. Should you choose to, however, you may still opt out before the scheduled date by telling your doctor and/or healthcare provider.
DURING
- Make sure to arrive early to your procedure. Timeliness is key.
- Be flexible with your interviewers. Many angels are unfamiliar with human languages and may instead choose to communicate directly inside your mind. This may cause discomfort as well as the feeling of being stripped into nothingness. Don't panic and remember that you deserve a chance at holiness, regardless of your humanity.
- Be polite. Though your angel interviewers may have already visited Earth before, human customs are often difficult to adjust to. If an interviewer makes a social faux pas (such as revealing their true form), brush it off and continue the conversation as best you can.
- Be prepared for any questions regarding your past attachments, relationships, possessions, etc. If you've prepared well, you'll be able to answer with full honesty that you have left all possible remnants of humanity behind - that means no mistakes, no regrets, and no emotions.
- Should you pass the interview (you will be told after they have finished), be ready to experience anywhere from a small to large amount of pain. This experience usually lasts around 20 seconds, but some say it feels like an eternity of blinding, searing light. The scale of your pain will be a direct result of how successful you were at stripping away your humanity; the agony that follows will be the angels burning it off of you.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait thought it.
- Wait through it.
- Wait
AFTER
- If you've successfully passed the interview, survived the procedure, and become an angel, congratulations! The following tips are only suggestions, but may help you in adjusting to your new existence.
- Avoid brightening your divine light too much at once. You'll quickly realize that your new eyes are far more adjusted to light than a human's, making the world appear dimmer than before.
- Avoid speaking out loud to others for the first few millenium, as this may cause harm if done incorrectly. Instead, practice "speaking" through the visual and audible expression of abstract concepts.
- Don't expect to visit Earth again. More often than not, angels avoid the human world (most say it's too painful to linger), so it's very unlikely that you'll return. Don't come back if you possibly can.
Finally, enjoy your new status as part of the divine. Not many people get to experience the feeling - you have made it! Please enjoy the rest of infinity.
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whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!
this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!
warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her.
So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak.
You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work
you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then
nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place.
On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after
it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him.
but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening.
its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail.
Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn
its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench.
there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency.
when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-
all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river
Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay
“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.”
he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself.
but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything
its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found.
Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there.
Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames.
“We’re gonna find her, but not there.”
So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did.
He became a smuggler because of it.
Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way.
But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course.
The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him.
But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles
“You think she would have wanted this for you?”
the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence.
“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.”
All he can do is nod.
It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit.
It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live.
Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago.
its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo”
when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them.
Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands.
He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face.
Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity.
“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?”
Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be.
But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.
“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.”
Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again.
“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.”
He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples.
“One.”
The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun.
“Two”
Wait. No, they both do.
“Three.”
Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins.
“Four.”
Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet.
Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?”
Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless.
Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.
When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same.
She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head.
“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”
He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun.
“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?”
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these bones never rested while living; so how can they stand to languish in repose?
dreamling bodyguard AU??? - for @raven-star7
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“i have an appointment,” death tells him, “with a man here. not much longer now. in the meantime—drink your drink, dream. you might like it.”
morpheus obliges and takes a long sip of his ale. the urge to spit it back out is immediate and visceral, but she is watching him drink intently, eyes sparkling; he refuses to add truth to her jest.
“when i return to the dreaming,” he leans in close to be heard, speaking into her ear, “my first order of business shall be to plant a new grape varietal in the palace vineyards and name it in your honor, my sister.”
death lets out a bright peal of laughter and nudges him with her shoulder. “was the ale really so vile?”
but before morpheus can respond, a gale of guffaws draws his attention to its source, a table in the corner of the bustling tavern. the man seated at the center of the commotion puts down his tankard and looks around at his companions, grinning genially.
“death,” the man says, with all the handsome confidence of someone proclaiming an incontrovertible fact, “is not going to come for me.”
morpheus raises an eyebrow at his sister. “surely that cannot be the one—”
she nods. “there’ll be a knife fight, just outside.”
“ah,” morpheus says. “that is an irony indeed.”
his name is robert gadling, and he dreams of immortality.
“—and in another hundred years,” he is saying now, “who knows what the world will be like? in two hundred? how much better it might be?”
“an’ i suppose you plan t’be around to find out, do you, eh, hobsie?” scoffs one of his friends—but the gleam of wonder is upon the fellow as he looks at gadling. the others, too, crowd closer to hear gadling’s answer, drawn as common moths to a candle flame.
“this man...” morpheus frowns. “who is he?”
a pause, during which morpheus very deliberately does not glance back at his sister, for he can feel her appraising look, and knows she will see into him, as is her way, and read rightly that this night has discomfited him. “you know who he is,” she says carefully, as though she would say more but chooses not to. “you know everyone.”
“when he sleeps,” morpheus says, “he dreams of finding love. of having a child, one day, who will inherit his eyes and his stubbornness. he dreams of impossible things, sister, that his friends cannot imagine or comprehend. things that will not come to pass for centuries yet. he dreams of living forever—”
death rests a hand between his shoulderblades. takes the tension from him with her touch and leaves a little of her warmth behind. “nothing can live forever, dream,” she tells him, gently, “and no one. i walk alongside them all, in the end.”
“is it truly his time to go to the sunless lands?” now morpheus does look at her. “he inspires others. there is some greater purpose to him. do you not see it?”
his sister tilts her head, and morpheus can almost hear her thinking. in her face is the wisdom and kindness of all the years this universe has known, and a little mischief too. “it is hob’s time to meet death,” she says at last. “but he could find his greater purpose somewhere else.”
“my sister,” morpheus says, “you vex me. you cannot mean what i think you imply.” back in the dreaming a wind picks up, brisk enough to match the coolness of his tone and the gathering thunder in his gaze. he rattles the palace windows and stirs the trees and tears leaves from the hedges in the gardens.
yet his sister, in the waking, refuses to be disturbed. simply waits until he settles, and accepts his sourness with equanimity. “you could use a bodyguard.”
“a bodyguard who lost his life in a knife fight?” morpheus purses his lips.
“everyone has their off days,” she says pointedly. “you might see a knife fight or two yourself yet, you keep swanning about in the world looking like that.”
nonplussed, morpheus looks down at his own clothes—at his dreamstone gleaming richly on its cord about his neck, and his long black robes. the customary dress he has favored recently, even at home amongst his subjects. “i do not need a medieval peasant for a minder in the waking world. in the dreaming, jessamy serves me perfectly well. he certainly does not belong in my realm.”
“doesn’t he?” his sister’s eyes are back to twinkling. “you said yourself he’s the consummate dreamer. wishing for implausible things.”
morpheus watches the man get up and walk out of the white horse tavern. his hangers-on return soon to their drinking, though their raucousness, their hopefulness, is a little dimmed in his absence. the sounds of a scuffle, shouts, thuds, drift in distantly from the alley outside. morpheus bows his head.
death touches morpheus’ elbow, and slips through the door easy as a shadow.
when she returns, it is with hob gadling cradled in her arms.
he is so pallid, and so soaked in blood, and all the verve and boastful pleasure of before are so thoroughly gone from his face that morpheus thinks him dead, at first. then he opens his eyes, and his features contort with agony, and morpheus feels the dream that is still fervent in him, like a second pulse that thrums in time with his thready heartbeat.
the dream that calls out to be saved.
“please,” hob whispers to death. “not you. not yet.”
“did i hear you say, earlier,” morpheus asks him, then, “that you had no intention of ever dying?”
hob stares up at him from the comfortable haven of death’s embrace. his wish to live gives a valiant beat of its wings. “yeah,” he says, “that’s right.” there is red at the corner of his mouth as he smiles.
“you are dying, now.” morpheus kneels beside him.
hob laughs; choked and pained, but a laugh nonetheless. “not if—not if i can help it, my friend.”
“well,” death says, “as it happens, you can.”
“robert gadling,” says morpheus, against all reason, “i offer you a choice.”
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