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maddiwrites · 3 years

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Secret Lives

Pairing: JJ Maybank x reader

Summary: You and JJ never got along so your friends trap the two of you on a boat in the middle of the marsh to work it out. Only it doesn’t go as planned.

Note: Hi guys! This is my first writing piece. I tried not to do a two parter for my first one but it ended up being so long. Sorry! I would love to hear your feedback so feel free to leave me a message! Part two will be posted soon. Also I have completed a rewrite of the show with a JJ x Routledge sister pairing so keep an eye out for that! Also wanna shout out @skiesofthesketchy @malfoyfarms @collecting-stories because they were some of the first masterlists I read and I loved them and it inspired me to write my own. So thank you!

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: Language, angst, very slight mentions of abuse

Part 2

Y/N Y/L/N. That’s you. Or as some like to call you, Hannah Montana. You live the best of both worlds, living it up on Figure Eight and wearing hundred dollar dresses to fancy dinners and parties, sneaking expensive mimosas to brunches with your friends, and getting biweekly mani pedi’s with your sister. Meanwhile, when you’re not rolling around in the luxuries of Kook Life, you’re rolling around in the dirt with your Pogue friends, baking in the sun on a dirty small boat while drinking the cheapest beer one of the boys’ could get their hands on. Most Kooks hated you even when they wanted to be you. And most Pogues didn’t trust you even as they tried getting in your pants.

One of them being JJ Maybank.

Kiara introduced you to her group of friends right after freshman year. The two of you were the black sheep of Kook Academy. Both your families have money, sure. But you weren’t jerks about it. You enjoy a little pampering here and there, but you’re not tone deaf and superficial like the rest of your peers. You were so grateful that your science teacher paired you two together for that year’s science fair. You instantly clicked with the curly brunette and spent most of the class talking about whatever came to mind instead of actually brainstorming project ideas. After working together for months on a science fair project with a shared passion of wanting to help save the environment, Kie finally introduced you to her best friends.

John B and Pope immediately made you feel like one of the group. Sure, they were curious about your life but you never felt like you were being interrogated with questions. They included you on inside jokes and even gave you the nickname ‘Sassy’ after proving to them that you can hold your own in a verbal fight.

Thanks to JJ.

From the start he claimed to never like you. He hated where you were from, who your parents were, and that you never had a job. He hated that you didn’t even have to try to get people to like you. In his eyes, everything was handed to you on silver platter. You had a picture perfect life and all you had to do was bat your eyelashes and show off your pearly white teeth. He couldn’t stand you.

Yet, he was dangerously attracted to you.

He loved the way your hair shined against the setting sun, he loved that you didn’t wear makeup every single day like every other Kook on the island, he loved how your white jean shorts perfectly shaped your curves, and he loved how your temper was as equally as short as his because it made you fighting with him that much hotter.

Last night was no different than every other night with you and your friends. It was quiet, spent around a bonfire in John B’s back yard. You sipped on cheap beer from the can while the smell of JJ’s marijuana smoke wafted through the air. Kie lightly strummed the strings of her ukulele while Pope and JJ bickered about the pros and cons of smoking weed.

This was your family. You had friends on the other side of the island too but you weren’t as close as you were with the Pogues. You would do anything for the people surrounding you. Even JJ. You tried to tell yourself you hated him just as much as he hated you, but you couldn’t help but feel like every other girl on this island, falling for his ocean blue eyes and golden locks. His wit and his charm. His loyalty and protectiveness of his friends. How he looked with his shirt off. How he would wink at you when he caught you staring. You wished you didn’t, but you loved him.

“Hellooo, Y/N?” John B waved his hand in front of your face. You hadn’t even realized you’d been staring.

“I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

John B smirked but didn’t say what he was thinking. He always thought you and JJ were acting dumb when it was clear as day that the two of you were attracted to each other. He always caught you two staring at one another when the other wasn’t looking. You two would always ask about the other person when they weren’t there even if it was just to throw a sharp jab behind their back.

“I asked you what you were up to this weekend.”

“Oh,” You shrugged. “Probably run some errands, babysit my neighbor’s kids...”

Just like Hannah Montana, you also lived a secret life. Your life wasn’t as perfect as everyone thought it was, but you’d never admit to it. Your mother would be crushed, your friends would find you stupid and pathetic, and you would hate yourself even more than you already did.

“Good. Sunday we’re going to check out the surfing competition on Seasill Beach. JJ’s trying to qualify for it next year.”

Your smile immediately dropped. “Sunday. Oh.”

“Already got a spa day planned, Princess?” JJ smirked from across the way.

“I, uh,” You tried your best to fake a grin. “I’m sorry. I can’t go. I already have plans.”

You held you breath as you waited for someone to respond. This was the third time this month you flaked on your friends without a good explanation. You never knew what to tell them, only that you had plans. You were afraid if you said anything else, they’d find out you were lying.

“Again?” Kie stopped playing her ukulele to look at you. “Seriously. Is there some secret boy we should know about or something?”

You scoffed. “No.”

You felt the most guilty lying to Kie. After all she was your best friend. The one you were supposed to be able to share everything with, even the stuff you couldn’t tell your parents.

“Kie’s right. You bailed on us last week last minute too,” Pope said.

You opened your mouth to say something, but your head wasn’t working fast enough to come up with a lie.

“We all knew this day would come.” JJ’s smirk was gone. He flicked the butt of his joint into the fire and claps off the ash from his hands. “Hannah Montana dips her toes into the wild life. She feels free and independent long enough to decide she’d rather go back to her cookie cutter life and live with all the privilege that daddy has to offer.”

The word ‘daddy’ physically made you flinch. Your eyes narrowed in a tight glare as you dug your fingernails into the palm of your hand, hating that this was the way JJ thought of you.

“J...” John B tried to warn him but JJ didn’t listen.

“No, seriously.” JJ stood up. “I bet the reason she’s not telling us what all her ‘plans’ are is because she knows you’ll all be disappointed. Me? Well, I couldn’t care less whether you hung out with us or not. In fact, I’ve been praying for it. So tell us, Y/N, what are you doing that you won’t tell us? If it’s not some dude, then maybe you decided you’d rather be a Kook. Are you going to fancy lunches and riding yachts across the ocean? Maybe you’re spitting in the faces of the people who work to make your life easier. Maybe -”

“JJ!” Kie yelled.

You stood up, your vision turning red and your skin going hot. Usually you could take JJ’s insults. You were use to JJ throwing your family’s money in your face, trying to make you feel bad for something you can’t control, but this was too much. Because now he was calling you out on your loyalty to your friends. And he was so far from the truth.

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” You said. The other three stood up when you took a step in JJ’s direction. John B stood close to you. He didn’t know what you were going to do, but he’s never heard your voice so low and threatening in a long time. The other time was with a Kook who was giving JJ shit. Ironically. “For me to just leave.”

“I didn’t stutter, did I?”

“Well I hate to break it to you, but I’m not going anywhere. In fact, because I’m such a nice friends, I’m going to give you some free advice. First, the last thing you want to question me about is my loyalty to the people who’s lives I would put before my own. Second, I would suggest removing that stick up your ass because it seems like your way too uptight to handle it.”

JJ glared at you and didn’t move to respond. A part of you was surprised he didn’t have anything to come back with and the other part of you was relieved.

The thick tension between you and your friends was suffocating. Your night had been effectively ruined by a simple question. But the sad part is, you didn’t even know who to blame. JJ, or the other man causing most of your guilt and grief.

“Y/N/N...” Kie tried stopping you as you gathered your stuff to leave.

“I’m out of here.”

You stormed out of the backyard and into your car. There was only so much you could take until you broke. And you were not going to give JJ Maybank the satisfaction of seeing you break.

***********************

You couldn’t fall asleep last night. JJ’s words kept replaying in your head like a bad song stuck on replay. You wanted to hate him. You wanted to blame him for not trusting you. But instead, you hated yourself. Because you’re the reason he can’t trust you. Cause you have secrets you don’t want shared.

Your thumb hovered over his contact. Not JJ’s. The man who’s made your life a living hell for the last sixteen years. You wanted to scream and cry and slap him in his face. But instead, you stayed frozen in fear. Like the little pathetic girl he says you are. And you hated yourself more for proving him right.

Your attention was taken away when someone busted through your bedroom door out of breath. Kie immediately went to your drawers and pulled out the first bathing suit she could find and threw it at you.

“Kie -”

“We need to go,” She said. “Get dressed.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Pope and John B ran out of gas doing grocery runs for Heyward. We need to get them with the HMS Pogue.”

“Where’s JJ? Why can’t he help you?”

“He’s working,” Kie said quickly. “Come on.”

***********************

You and Kie found Heyward’s boat stranded in the middle of the marsh like Kie said it would be. John B and Pope were waiting for you on the back and thanking you both for coming to help. You hold the gas as they helped you onto the boat. They directed you to the tank while they helped Kie.

As soon as you made your way to the front of the boat, you heard the engine of the Pogue rev and take off. You dropped the gasoline gallon and sprinted to the back of the boat where they left you. John B and Pope waved back to you as Kie drove them back to the Chataeu.

“What the hell?” You yelled at them to come back.

“You and JJ need to work your shit out!” John B yelled back to you.

“What...” You mumbled to yourself before you heard the sound of heavy footsteps running towards you. You gasp in surprise when a sweaty JJ passed you to glare at the boat that’s getting smaller and smaller by the second.

“What the fuck?” He screamed.

“There’s food and blankets in the cabin!” Pope yelled back.

“We’ll come get you in the morning,” Kie said.

You clenched your teeth together with frustration. JJ looked just as pissed off and small part of you was disappointed with that. He turned around, cursing to himself and hitting random shit in his way.

This was going to be a long day.

***********************

After four hours, you and JJ still hadn’t spoken to each other. He took over the cabin while you laid out on the back of the boat. Your head was running with different thoughts. Should you try to make up with JJ? Should you just continue to ignore him? Should you tell him why you can’t go to the surfing competition tomorrow?

You didn’t know what to do but you knew you couldn’t sit here in silence anymore.

You reluctantly stood in front of him with crossed arms. He was smoking a blunt and looking out into the setting sun. If you were friends, you would take a picture of him right now. The pink sky painted his skin perfectly.

“What?” He said without looking at you.

“Seriously?” You raised one brow. “We’re asked to do one thing on this boat and that’s all you have to say?”

“I’m not sorry for what I said last night.”

“Neither am I.”

“Fine.”

You rolled your eyes. The problem with both of you was that you’re both stubborn. But if the problem with JJ couldn’t be fixed today, you didn’t know how much longer you would be able to put up with his rude remarks and assumptions about you.

“What the hell is your problem?” You said.

“My problem?”

“Yeah. Your problem. You’ve been treating me like shit ever since Kie introduced me to you. What could I have possibly done to make you hate me so goddamn much?”

JJ shook his head in annoyance. “I’m not doing this.”

He got up and walked to the back of the boat where you were sulking not even five minutes ago. You followed him like the stubborn person you were and you continued to grill him.

“I’ve tried so hard to be your friend. I’ve bought you drugs, I’ve even done yours and JB’s laundry. I put in a good word to the tourons who ask about you at boneyard parties. I laugh at your jokes, even when they’re about my friends. I try so hard to be on your good side and you still want nothing to do with me!”

“Because you’re a Kook!”

“So?”

“You have everything. Money, family, friends, a future. I don’t trust you because I don’t know what the hell you want with us. What do we possibly have that you can’t get on Figure Eight? Hm? Are you trying to prove a point to your mom that you don’t need her? You trying to prove to your dad that you’re a tough girl and don’t need his money or protection to keep you safe? Huh?”

“You know what your problem is? You don’t listen! I’ve told you time and time again that I don’t care about any of those things. I hang out with you guys because you are my friends. I have a good time when I’m with you. Why is that so hard for you to get?”

JJ scoffed. “Please. You don’t think I see you constantly checking your cell phone? Making sure no one can see who you’re texting? If we’re such good friends, why won’t you tell us what you’re doing tomorrow? You always have ‘other plans’ and then you never tell us what they are.”

“Because that’s none of your business!”

“If my friends are going to get hurt because of some lying bitch then it is my business!”

You were breathing so heavily, you were basically panting. Your blood felt like it was boiling under your skin and your head felt fuzzy with lack of thoughts. You didn’t know what to say, truly lost for words.

JJ took another step closer to you. You’re so close to him, you can feel his breath on your face and see every mark on his skin. You never knew he had a scar right above his brow or a freckle under his ear. He smelled like weed and sun sunscreen and his breath like mint. Had you not been fired up with rage, you would have thought he looked hot and maybe even made a move.

But now it was the last thing you wanted to do.

“I’m sick and tired of you spoiled brats getting everything you want. You’re nothing but a spoiled rich kid who doesn’t even know the kind of privilege she has if it hit her in the face. You can’t relate to anything we have to go through. You don’t have to get dirt underneath your fingernails to make a buck. You don’t have to wonder where your next meal is coming from. You wouldn’t last a week on the Cut because you’ve never known what it’s been like to live the life we do!”

“You don’t know anything about me!” You snapped. The heart in your chest felt like it was being shredded to pieces by a rapid wolf. You felt like you were being torn apart one by one with each insult he threw in your face. Little did he know, he was wrong.

“I know enough to never want to see you again. I will never accept you into our group of friends. Don’t you get that? So you can stop playing the nice girl act around me and go back to Sarah Cameron and the other Kooks that you still hang out with despite knowing everything they’ve done to us. To Kie!”

Bringing up the fight between Kie and Sarah was a low blow and JJ knew it. It was something you always struggled with because you continued to be friends with both of them separately. At first, they were both mad at you but then accepted your friendship when they came around to loving the idea that you would fight for both of them. You tried getting them to talk and make up, but both of them refused. Maybe you should just stick them on a boat in the middle of nowhere and force them to work it out.

Although, clearly your experience with it wasn’t going so well.

“That’s not fair.”

“Yeah, well life’s not fair sweet heart. But you wouldn’t know about that.”

You thought the fight last night was bad. But this one took the icing off the cake. You wished so desperately that Kie had just trapped you both in a locked room, so at least you had the chance to break out and run away from the darkness that was clouding around you.

You were most upset that this was how JJ thought of you. You didn’t know if you would have the same devastating reaction if someone else had said these things to you. You wanted so badly to be friends with the blonde Pogue. You saw the way he interacted with his friends and you wanted to be a part of that small circle so badly, you would almost do anything to be in it.

But you didn’t think you could last another second of being belittled and tormented with JJ’s outspoken feelings towards you. You wished there was a rewind button so you could go back to bed and hopefully never wake up and you’d lock your door so Kie couldn’t break in.

You swallowed back the tears that threatened to fall and admit your defeat. You wanted to find the nearest corner and crawl into it and escape the murderous glare of JJ Maybank. JJ was wrong. You didn’t have everything. Because in this moment, you still wanted him. And you were just realizing that you never will.

“You judge me by the surface. You’ve never once tried to get to know me. You don’t ask. You just assume that I’m like every other kid on Figure Eight. You don’t know where I’ve came from. What I’ve been through. What I live with. You don’t know my plans for the future or my hobbies or even my favorite color because you didn’t ask!” Adrenaline pushes through your veins like a wave of energy. You’ve never felt so powerful but so small in your life.

“All right. So tell me,” JJ said. “Tell me whatever story you can think of that will change my mind about you.”

You paused, standing there face to face with someone who will never accept you. You were suddenly overcome with so many emotions you didn’t know which one to choose from. Anger, sorrow, fear, confusion, shame.

You couldn’t believe you even thought about telling JJ your story. A story that you haven’t even told Kie. The story about how you were actually born and raised on the far end of the south side. How your dad use to abuse your mother right in front of you before she managed to escape when you were eight. For six months you lived in her car before she got a job as a housekeeper at a cheap motel used mostly for hookers and their cliental. Her employer let you live rent free if your mom accepted a cheaper pay check. During one of her shifts, your mother ran right into Andrew Y/L/N. No, he wasn’t one of the hooker’s clients. He was actually on the property looking to buy out the place. Even though he was a Kook, he looked through the housekeeper’s uniform into my mom’s heart and loved everything about her. He took her on a couple dates, then less than a year later, married her. You changed your last name to his because you didn’t want any relation to your father anymore. You thought the man was scum and deserved to rot in hell for everything he put your mom through. You hated him and even wished for him to die. Sometimes you even thought about doing it yourself. But then you saw him again. At a gas station in the middle of The Cut. You couldn’t believe he recognized you and you were even more shocked he had the audacity to talk to you. And you listened. He told you how sorry he was. How he never meant to hurt your mom. How he missed his baby girl and wanted to be in her life again. You fell for every word because a part of you you didn’t know existed missed having a biological dad.

That was your biggest mistake.

He didn’t change. He was still the same bastard he was eight years ago, using violence and threats with people much weaker than him to get what he wanted. He loved guilting you with your new luxuries. How you now had everything right under your fingertips after you left him to wither away with nothing. He said you owed him. Because you were his daughter and you were supposed to love him unconditionally. And you fell for it every time. He never hurt you like he hurt your mom. A few slaps here and there but nothing to leave a mark to get your mother questioning.

So now you were trapped - trapped in his world and in his life. Using your own money that you actually worked for, little did JJ know, to pay for his bills, his drugs, and sometimes, even his bail.

You didn’t tell anyone about this secret life because you didn’t want anyone to make you feel any more pathetic and weak than you already felt. And most importantly, you didn’t want to hurt your mother by telling her you’ve been supporting the one person she’s been trying to protect you from.

And you were about to risk that by telling someone who probably still wouldn’t care about you even after hearing what you had to say. You are who you are. If JJ didn’t like you now, he shouldn’t like you after telling him your story, anyway.

“No.” You shook your head.

“No?” JJ scoffed. “I’m finally asking you tell me something and you’re saying no?”

“Because you don’t care, JJ! Not really. You think knowing my sob story is going to get you to like me? I don’t need a pity friendship. I am who I am because of shit I’ve had to overcome. And this is me now. So if you don’t like it, then fine. We’ll do it your way and call it quits.” JJ didn’t say anything as you turned around to find somewhere to pass out in hopes of getting morning to come faster.

You found a blanket deep into the cabin and pulled it over your body, shielding yourself away from the world. You hoped the darkness would sweep through your head so you wouldn’t be plagued with torturous thoughts about your past or what’s going to happen to tomorrow. You cried - you cried because even after JJ ripped into your like a zoo animal, he still hated you.

JJ was wrong. You didn’t have everything. Because you didn’t have him.

***********************

Surprisingly, the sun rose sooner than you expected it to. Sleeping on the swaying boat wasn’t as awful as you thought it was going to be. In fact, it was kind of peaceful with the stars above you and the sound of moving water right under you.

The morning wasn’t so calming. You were slapped in the face with memories of the night before. Your stomach twisted at the thought of being face to face with JJ again. You knew what you had to do and thinking about it made you sick and depressed.

You pushed yourself up and checked the time on the radio. 8:03. Anxiety instantly flooded through you. You only had two hours to get home to be ready in time to run ‘errands’ with your dad.

You looked out to the back of the boat where JJ was looking into the horizon, probably waiting for your friends to come.

Fresh set of tears pricked your eyes at what’s to come. You loved your friends and you even loved JJ. But you couldn’t stay with the Pogues. You didn’t want to make JJ any more uncomfortable than he already was and you were afraid the constant fighting would push your friends further apart. You didn’t want to be the reason for that.

You pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders and walked next to JJ. Without a word, you looked out in the same direction he was looking and admired the morning sun.

Surprisingly, JJ was the first one to speak. He looked at you and instantly felt guilty all over again. He tossed and turned all night contemplating on whether he should wake you up to apologize or just wait until morning. He knew he wasn’t being fair. You’ve done nothing but tried to earn his trust since day one. You accepted him for all his flaws and he couldn’t do the same for you. Yeah there was the phone thing and not telling the others what you’re up to, but it wasn’t like you were constantly in his business. If you see him with unexplained bruises, you don’t pester him about it. If he comes back to the Chateau in a pissy mood and blames it on a fight with his dad, you try to make him forget about it with a distraction instead of making him tell you what the fight was about. Why couldn’t he give you the same respect?

Truth was he wasn’t so much worried about his friends getting hurt as he was getting hurt. He liked you more than a friend should which would make your departure from your friends that much more heartbreaking for him. He never felt this way over a girl, let a lone a Kook and he tried so desperately to hate you. But it didn’t work. Instead, it made him feel like the biggest asshole in the world. He wanted to fix what he broke. He told himself he still had time left. His friends weren’t back yet to get him.

“Listen, Y/N -”

“It’s fine, J,” You sniffled. This time you couldn’t stop the tears from running down your cheeks. You tried blinking them away which only made them fall faster. You hated crying in front of people. Your dad always said it was a sign of weakness and you believed him. You wouldn’t be surprised if JJ laughed in your face right now and called you a loser. “It’s done.”

“What are you talking about?”

JJ’s heart physically broke when he saw your tears. He had never seen you cry. Not even out of joy. He couldn’t believe he was the cause of this. That he had made someone as beautiful and as kind as you actually feel bad about herself. He wished he could take back time and start over. He wished he gave her a chance from the beginning. He wished it wasn’t too late.

You both looked up when you heard the engine of the HMS Pogue. In the distance, you could hear your friends laughing and calling out to you, not yet realizing their plan went to shit. You had to make this quick.

“The last thing I want is to get between you and your friends. You don’t have to worry about me hurting anyone, especially Kie. I’ll back off.” You said, making JJ’s brows furrowed in confusion and his heart raced with worry. “I’m giving you what you want. I’ll stay out of your life.”

JJ couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe he drove you to do the one thing he actually never wanted you to do. “Wait. You’re leaving?”

You looked JJ in the eyes and he wished you didn’t. Because for the first time, he didn’t see the light behind your eyes or the little crinkle in the corner when you smiled. They were dull and lifeless, making him sick to his stomach.

“I didn’t stutter. Did I?” You used his words from the other night and it felt like a stab in the heart to JJ.

JJ was left speechless which almost never happens. He wished he could say something, anything, to make you feel differently, to tell you he was wrong and sorry. But nothing came out. He could barely breathe.

“Hey you crazy kids,” Kie’s voice pierces the air, jokingly and airy. If only she knew that wasn’t how you were feeling.

“Missing a key or something?” John B joked alongside her.

“You should have called us sooner!” Pope added.

When the boat came closer to yours, they finally got a look at the two of you. They were shocked to see you silently crying and looking like all the life had been sucked out of you. JJ looked mad but they couldn’t tell whether he was mad at you or them or himself.

The three of them went sick with anxiety, suddenly wondering if this was a bad idea. Kie tried to get you make eye contact, but you wouldn’t look at her. You couldn’t look at any of them - afraid you might actually break completely if you did.

“Y/N/N...” Kie said softly.

“You guys okay?” John B asked wearily.

JJ helped Pope tie The Pogue to Heyward’s boat and hopped on right after. Pope traded spots with JJ and came up beside you and stood there awkwardly. He didn’t know what to do either.

You looked up at him before he could come up something probably stupid to ask. “Can you drop me off please?”

Pope glanced back at his friends and nodded. “Uh, sure. John B will probably get you there faster though if you -”

“No, it’s okay,” You said. You didn’t think you’d be able to handle being in an enclosed space with JJ for another minute. You just wanted to go home and forget the past two years ever happened. “I’ll stay here.”

Pope shrugged at his friends when you trudged back into the cabin and curled yourself into the corner. You didn’t know what the next few weeks would be like, but you hoped they go better than the last twenty four hours did.

#jj maybank fic #jj x reader #jj fic #jj maybank #jj #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x kook!reader #outer banks #outer banks fic #outer banks imagine #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward

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wangxianficrecs · 3 years

Photo

Sweeties, it’s time for

I’m In The Mood For A Fic Where…

_______

1. Ahhh mojo your blog makes my world go round and back and around again. [You’re so sweet!] I was wondering if you could help me out with your next "I'm in the mood for a fic where".. I'm looking for two types of fics

A) fics in which WWX regains his core somehow (either by working on it, divine intervention, core sharing, anything!!) I so desperately want my boy to have his precious and favourite sword back (◡ ω ◡)

B) fics where WWX (or LWJ) *almost* marries someone else.

Thank you for your help!!! (~￣³￣)~❤️ ~ @akyra-talanoa

1a.

nothing gold can stay by rikke (M, 10k, wangxian, my post)

❤️Ghosts Shouldn't by ShanaStoryteller (not rated [G], 15k, wangxian, my post)

the path to heaven / immortal wangxian by lightningalwaysreturns (E, 51k, wangxian)

Chimera by nirejseki (T, 18k, wangxian)

Righteous at a Cost by thunderwear (G, 21k, wangxian, my bookmark)

Different Paths to the Same Route by JustAWanderingBabbit (T, 184k, 3zun)

24 Hours by tailor31415 (E, 6k, wangxian)

Core-Thieving Hand by x_los (T, 5k, wangxian)

Field Trips with Wei Wuxian by antebunny (G, 43k, wangxian)

1b.

to swim through the fires by littledust (M, 37k, wangxian)

❤️Neatly Arranged by thunderwear (T, 46k, wangxian, my post)

Rebound Betrothal by mondengel (not rated (G), 2k, wangxian, my post)

History Will Call Us Wives by silvermarie (E, 17k, wangxian)

today was a smoking sky by typefortydeductions (E, 38k, wangxian)

~*~

2. hello! any recs wangxian modern au/mpreg? please and thank you!

Here’s my mpreg post (mostly current) and also

Brilliant Mistake by brooklinegirl (E, 54k, wangxian, my bookmark)

Winter Moon, White Rabbit by nachttour (E, 62k, wangxian, WIP)

Stale Spice, Sandalwood, and Nests by Tyongslips (M, 18k, wangxian, WIP)

~*~

3. Hello!! This might not be specific enough to find anything, but I was looking for modern wangxian fics that have a very distinct italicized 'oh' moments together? Like both of them or either of the pair doing something that makes them suddenly realize

every time we kiss i swear i could fly by sarahyyy (T, 3k, wangxian, my post)

【那夏天的我們】a stroke of fate by puddingcatbeans (G, 60k, wangxian)

not in so many words by jaws_3 (T, 18k, wangxian, my post)

~*~

4. In the mood for fics where WWX is genuinely afraid of LWJ, believing that he will kill him/hurt him/cast him out/haul him back to Gusu for punishment; with emphasis on LWJ's reaction when he realizes and it hits him like a sack of bricks, and ideally on his efforts to regain WWX's trust. Not looking for something where LWJ really does wish WWX significant harm, but it's ok if he has well-intended ideas that he doesn't realize would hurt him. Any time period, canon version, or AU is good. Example: decay by antebunny.

~*~

5. Hi there! First of all thank you for making such a helpful blog. I have been reading tons of great stories due to you. [I’m so glad!] Secondly I would love to read a fic (a) where lwj is a single dad and then meets wwx (b) Best modern au fics with lots of angst. Thanks!!! ~ @pastashouldbeeatenwithafork

5a.

❤️A Flower That Blooms In Adversity by thunderwear (M, 62k, wangxian, WIP, my post)

like wildflowers (we grow) by moonsteps (T, 80k, wangxian)

say it's here where our pieces fall in place by Lirelyn (E, 69k, wangxian)

plant a little happiness (let the roots run deep) by fleurdeliser (E, 48k, wangxian)

tear out the thread one by one from your skin (’til your bones feel embarrassed by all the attention) by lightningalwaysreturns (E, 41k, wangxian)

paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 (E, 54k, wangxian)

love thy neighbor by wincechesters (M, 7k, wangxian)

No Need to Change a Tune by yeolinski (T, 10k, wangxian)

5b.

Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 108, wangxian, my post)

A Sequence of Coming Outs by kippalittlefox (M, 24k, wangxian)

new york, i love you by Anonymous (T, 7k, wangxian)

leading tone by silencemostofall (G, 32, wangxian)

An Ocean Between Us by feenwitch (E, 11k, wangxian)

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, wangxian, *mind the tags!*)

me and you, always and forever by fyredancer (E, 150k, wangxian)

Momentum Deferred by DisasterBiAlert (T, 13k, wangxian, my post)

After the Final Rose by azurewaxwing (E, 55k, wangxian)

there's no promised goodbye here by Anonymous (T, 54k, wangxian)

defective requiems by Misila (M, 9k, wangxian)

❤️Common love isn't for us by feyburner (M, 8k, wangxian, my post)

twice by Misila (T, 8k, wangxian)

one good thing by Yuu_chi (T, 27k, wangxian, my post)

~*~

6. Hey! Can you rec some fics with wangxian being in cloud recesses or modern au of college?? Thanks!

I have tags for #students at cloud recesses and #college/university au

~*~

7. Would you happen to know any fics where lqr and wwx actually get along and have a good relationship? Lqr the scholar he is and wwx the inventor/genious ???? There are a lot of possibilities there. Thank you so much have a great day and stay hydrated!!!

❤️To have and to hold by Moominmammashandbag (M, 79k, wangxian, my post)

❤️to arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag (M, 35k, wangxian, my post)

Just Say Yes by edenwolfie (M, 312k, wangxian)

Post-war baby! by like_a_bird_that_flew (E, 23k, wangxian, WIP)

Righteous at a Cost by thunderwear (G, 21k, wangxian, my bookmark)

~*~

8. Hello! I love your fic recs and the hard work you do! I've discovered so many new favourites thanks to you! [Yay!] I was wondering if you know of any fics where they're shapeshifters or some such? Animals or wing-fics or something similar? ❤

I have an official tag for #animal transformation, and on my AO3 wangxian collection (which returns more search results than tumblr) here is the search for shapeshifter, and wingfic

over forests and mountains by beechtree (T, 9k, wangxian, WIP)

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9. hii do you know any fics that focus on lwj and lxc and their relation?? thanks <33

❤️Begotten by ecorie (G, 37k, wangxian, my post)

Brotherly Concern by Ibijau (G, 11k, wangxian, my post)

~*~

10. hellooo! do you know any fics where jiang cheng finds a-yuan instead of lwj? thank you for all your recs btw, they're super helpful!!! [Thank you!]

grieve the living by Misila (M, 161k, wangxian)

Overflow the autumn pools by Mhalachai (T, 74k, jiang cheng & lan wangji)

~*~

11. I love your blog! Thank you so much for all the wonderful recs! [Thank you!] I don't suppose you know of any fics where WWX is a non-human entity of some sort, but presents or is disguised as a human? (Or maybe he even thinks he is human?)

Cruise the tags mentioned above in #8, too.

❤️Spellbound by Latios (T, 37k, wangxian, my post)

When fish soar by mondengel (G, 2k, wangxian, my post)

Breathing Firestorm by ladyshadowdrake (M, 111k, wangxian)

flame and rust by cl410 (M, 29k, wangxian, WIP)

❤️The Tiger has Destroyed his Cage by updatebug (G, 55k, wangxian, my bookmark)

Magical Marriage Ribbons by starandrea (M, 376k, wangxian)

Ever Distant Shores by fuddy_duddy (rainier_day) (T, 69k wangxian, WIP)

~*~

12. Hiii do you know any fics where wwx or lwj OR wangxian leave the cultivation world/retire/grow old together away from cultivation drama? Something like And They Have Escaped The Weight of Darkness by cosmicmilktea , All that is solid melts into air by huxiyi , and that fic where post resurrection wwx just decides to not bother with dafan mountain and opens a flower shop: focal, filler, and line by bosbie.

Dan Tian / Heaven by ArchiveWriter (T, 20k, wangxian, WIP)

The Slow Regard of Silent Things by Moonpuddles (T, 3k, wangxian)

Pair of Swallows, you and I~ by Moonpuddles (T, 13k, wangxian, series in progress)

~*~

13. Hello! Do you know any fics where wangxian has some incompatibility issues/dysfunctional relationship that isnt because of canon typical one braincell wwx, but because of more structural things like their mental age gaps, how wwx will prolly hate cloud recesses after the honeymoon bliss is over etc. Generally fics that show wangxian having to work to build the relationship

~*~

14. Hi! Any wangxian onlyfans au fics? I read For a Good Time, Call by ScarlettStorm and the ongoing sequel KILF (Knits I'd Like To Fuck in) and those were so good!!! I'd like to find more similar fics!

Temptation's Mask by threerings (E, 58k, wangxian, camboy wwx)

A ghost by the light of the phone by shibrogane (E, 10k, wangxian)

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15. Hey, do you have any fics where lxc doesn't like (or outright despises) wwx?

❤️to arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag (M, 35k, wangxian, my post)

I don't like your boyfriend by lazulisong (G, 3k, wangxian, my post)

~*~

16. Do you know of any fics where the Lan Elders (unsuccessfully) try to make Lan Zhan marry someone other than Wei Ying?

Lie Open To One Another by levament (M, 41k, wangxian, WIP)

~*~

17. Hii! Do you know any fics that similar to Ardent Desires by crestre / Baby Of Mine by pupeez4eva ? I've been searching for it and want to read fics that similar to those so bad. I hope you and your followers can help me! Thankyouuu

The Trouble with Talismans: a Treatise on Time-Travel by Young Master Lan Xiaohui (Age 6) by stiltonbasket (G, 17k, wangxian, WIP)

~*~

18. Do you know any wangxian fics where either one or both of them are models/actors/musicians/famous in some way?

The Fault in Our Stars by Vamillepudding (T, 18k, wangxian, my post)

Patient came so hard from prostate exam he kicked me in the dick by Hades_the_Blingking (e, 17k, wangxian, my post)

An ocean in a drop (not a drop in the ocean) by dea_liberty (E, 10k, RPF, yizhan, my post)

how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat) by Anonymous (T, 55k, wangxian, my post)

Make It Count by wearing_tearing (E, 47k, wangxian, my bookmark)

❤️Love wakes me by dea_liberty (e, 46k, wangxian, my post)

life, drama and action by Akai__hana (G, 13k, wangxian)

call me, beep me by myung (T, 39k, wangxian)

Rest by sassybluee (T, 115k, wangxian)

~*~

19. hello, i'm searching for a fic where wwx like... transmigrates into mdzs/cql? like i think there were a couple of them and but i can't find them for some reason?

Untitled. by c11to (M, 61k, wangxian, WIP)

#wangxian #mdzs #the untamed #wangxian fic finder #in the mood for a fic #i haven't read these unless noted #crowd-sourcing #fic finding #fic finder

223 notes · View notes

jiminrings · 4 years

Note

hellooo can i request a drabble of uni!au art major tae and biochem major yn? also part one of the would you series is AMAZINGGG seriously i cant wait to read more!! <3

rich kid kim

pairing: taehyung x y/n

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

notes: thank you for the request babes!! writing this made my heart melt and aND!!! thank you omg i’m glad you like would you :((

if you squint or if you’ve read insufferable, this is most probably taehyung and his y/n!!!

taehyung is personally more than willing to pay himself out of this project

oKAY LISTEN

he’s not the proudest knowing that he comes from a rich family and he’s the only kid and he’s never really struggled for much

everything was just given to him without any hesitations whatsoever

and yeah he admits that he can nEVER admit that his pampered and luxurious lifestyle since birth has shaped him to be this way and it’s hard to unlearn these types of things

things were too easy for him and thAt’s what made it hard

tae is the farthest thing from an outcast..,.,.,.,

.,.,. but that’s him in his usual rich boi bubble of elites wherever he goes because he’s surrounded by people like him

hoseok and jimin have got to be his closest friends but of course they pursued business degrees and everyone must’ve probably saw that coming

nobody, however, expected the kim taehyung to pursue a degree based rootly on passion and even major in it

yeah that’s right what are yOU looking at???

he’s an art student and yeah he’s taking this seriously ://

do yOU have a problem with that?? do you?? no what did you say?? step the fuck up ky-

spoiler alert: people do have a problem with that

taehyung could tell that his parents did a complete 180 when they learned through jimin’s noisy-ass mouth (not even through their own son) that he’s gonna be getting an art degree

his dad’s the one who’s most especially disappointed at him because well he’s the only child and uhhhh.,.,.,, so who’s gonna inherit the company now.,.,,,

tae normally feels selfish and this time, he felt like he was being rational rather than being selfish!! this is what he passionately wants!! pls god can i be selfish oNE more time

eventually his parents had no choice because as their son explained,, having an art degree won’t keep him away from the family business at all and he could even expand it!! he doesn’t need a degree!!!

lmao he’s been putting the money he gets on the stock market ever since he was ten years old

and they had to accept it eventually because this is what HE wants and if this is the only thing that he wants... then might as well help him through it, right??

now this is another dilemma

taehyung’s applied at a regular university in which everyone’s blended together and no one really cares about who’s who

it’s not exclusive to people like him.

he submitted his requirements and his portfolios by himself!!

and he got accepted!!

he’s nOT SURE if it’s purely because of his skills and himself and not his parents’ money nor influence

whatever it is, he doesn’t want to know because if it ends up being the answer he doesn’t want?? lol he’d crawl into a hole and mope for a week and would be doomed to wear three-piece suits for the rest of his life

so anyways

yeah..,, this is one of the handful of times that taehyung is completely willing to pay himself out

this project was supposed to be easy enough as what the professor said but uH he’d like to passive-aggressively decline pls and thank you

their final project was to make a portrait

right?? easy!!

a portrait of sOMEONE IN CAMPUS,,, regardless if you know them or not

(( well of course you’d get to know them by the end because yea they’re required to show proof that they indeed met and the model did agree to be painted ))

and by the end of the project, it’s either they keep it to themselves or give it to the model!!

that should be easy, right??

...

....

...... pls say right

oh my god tae should probably drop out now so he doesn’t get to do this

rich people don’t necessarily have to be educated, right???? maybe he’ll just settle into being a himbo

he learned about the meaning of the word through urban dictionary that he tHEN only learned about like six months ago and now he gets so many things

taehyung’s not intimidated by the workload of it all -- in fact, he’s even excited about it because it helps him relax!!

what he’s intimidated about is the fact that he’s kim taehyung and there are only two possible options

either his model would be someone who knows him and would be taking every possible step to ensure that they climb the social ladder through him and they’re not even gonna be dISCREET about it

his model wouldn’t completely care about who he is and in the process belittles him upfront and tbh his hart wouldn’t be able to take that and he’s probably wipe his tears away with dollar bills

there is almost no in-between, that one he’s sure of

so why are you like this?

why are you neither of the two and why are you sO kind and go against his expectations????

do you have an ulterior motive or something????

you who’s a biochem major and is actually another building away from his own

you who’s made the initiative that you become hIS model

you who actually oFFERED and almost begged to be a part of a project that would only be for tae’s benefit

... aha

that’s about -5 points from being a cool laid-back nonchalant gal

+10 for looking like someone who’s had a massively obsessive crush on him since day one and looking like you’d lay his life for him

no but lmao actually you just learned about taehyung in a magazine

you were bored at the dentist’s and scrolled through every possible outlet in your phone and it didn’t satiate you anymore!!! so how about reading a good ol’ magazine :D

then came taehyung

it was a whole issue dedicated to him and you were probably too dedicated into reading it that this time it was you telling the dentist to wait lol

that’s as far as you knew about him

and then you learned just some weeks ago that taehyung happens to study where you also study at and that was.,., inch resting

you never really saw him before around campus because it was too big and well maybe if you put in the effort, you’d actually find him

maybe you had a tiny lil admiration for kim taehyung just from one whole issue alone you read at the dentist’s or whatever

you’ve only known about this final project situation through changbin!!!

changbin, your neighbor at the apartment next to you, who’d crash over whenever his wifi feels the tiniest bit slow

yes you did spend a little more money to upgrade your internet situation (most times it’s the router who makes all the difference) because you were so tIRED of having things slow in the middle of researching for your projects in biochem)

no you will nOT have that <3

and of course changbin’s not having your that shitty wifi either so he pushed you to get that in the first place so he can use it too lmao

he’s told you just a couple of days ago about his final project and that maybe, just maybe, he’d make it into a move for this girl that he likes

nothing’s more romantic than pleading for someone to paint ur face right

and your grade and the decision to whether you’re gonna pass or flunk and graduate or retake are relying on you mostly

and in changbin’s case it’s also hIS heart on the line so yeah no pressure at all luv

“i kinda feel bad for rich kid kim, y’know?”

“what about taehyung???”

“eW do you have a crush on him??”

“addressing someone by their name equals to a crush??????”

your banters never stop because you’re as quick-witted as him and he both loves and hates it

he loves that omg someone can keep up with him and that way he gets challenged to always have the last say!!

he hates that oh god why is he friends with someone who reminds him of himself so much how is hE gonna deal with that??

sometimes he’ll purposely argue with you to fEEL something lmao

but there’s just something here that tells him you’re a little more interested now in this flow of conversation ever since rich kid kim was mentioned

“hm, nothing. i’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a model yet.”

he dodges you in the kitchen to look for peanut butter in your cupboard and oddly... you’re not berating him for decreasing your groceries....?

what does changbin mean by that? whAt model?? model as in taehyung doesn’t have the newest model of whatever car he wants? or maybe he has a model girlfriend and-

hold on wait wHAT

taehyung has a-

“m-model?”

he looks at you weirdly but you don’t even bat an eye when he gets ahold of your marshmallow spread so that he could make another one of his s’mores sandwiches

“uhhhh model as in he doesn’t have someone to paint for our project??”

is that what you wanted to hear or,.,

you and changbin share one (1) brain cell and it SHOWS

the two of you have to open your mouths, then close, then ponder, and then do that aGAIN until the both of you could finally grasp if you were in the same page

“oh cool!! i’ll be his model then!”

“yeah but did he ask”

“it’s gonna be easy!! i’ll just tag along with you to your building”

“yeah but did he aSK”

“we’re probably gonna hit it off instantly and then you’ll have to leech off from someone else for their wifi and food and every other necessity that you already have-”

“yeah but dID HE ASK????��

long-story short: no. taehyung most certainly did not ask you to be his model.

but here you are

saying that you came a long way is a bit of a stretch because taehyung mostly turns his head the other way around when you call out to him in public

progress is still progress :D

you’re eating lunch with him at the same table and this time you’re sat beside him!! when normally he’d just walk home to his apartment (lol that’s not allowed but you won’t be surprised to know that he has a free pass) and eat!!!

before that, taehyung would gLARE at you until you stop asking to sit with him in his table

yea he gets a bit lonely at time because jimin and hobi aren’t with him and hE’S the outcast but he won’t do anything about it,, just scroll through his phone while he eats and tune everyone out

you figured that maybe it’s changbin always linked with you in lunch because your schedules just matched up thAt perfectly like it does with tae’s

hee-hee so you might have elbowed him until he begrudgingly agreed to be tolerable, keep atleast four feet of distance from you, and not call tae rich kid kim

spoiler alert: taehyung doesn’t really care about whatever you do because doing those changes with changbin did nOT work at all

however

H O W E V E R

taehyung doesn’t know at all how you’ve wormed your way into his heart!!

what seem to be cold to you is his warmest he’s ever been in such a new environment and outside of his usual comfort bubbles!!!

it’s like you occasionally stealing the food from his plate when you have the same thing is the equivalent of h*lding h*nds with him

you putting your leg over his before he pushes it after five seconds mUST be the equivalent to marriage

wait he’s lying

taehyung does know how you’ve wormed your way to his heart

“hi! i’m y/n! :D”

ok u are a little bit sweaty and out of breath from doing all that fast-paced walking for the past ten minutes

your new shoes that you still need to break into further aren’t helping your situation in the slightest bit

honestly? this is all changbin’s fault <3

he unknowingly gave you the sign that you were looking for

if he says yeah five times with five minutes?? okay yeah you’re definitely looking for kim taehyung and offering yourself to become his model

you don’t wanna sound weird but you feel sorry for him and you wanna help him :((

he’s not helping you tho because he has long legs underneath those trousers and it looked like he wouldn’t budge at all not unless you jogged and stopped right in front of him

“hi! i’m y/n!! :D”

“...”

“.....”

tae’s a bit... perplexed

because who’s THIS entity and why are you standing in front of him

...

....

“bye y/n.”

he wants to exit from this situation because oh my god??

why r u like this

he didn’t ASK for your name!!

and he doesn’t even know you and giving him your name honestly won’t do anything and he doesn’t get what’s your motive and-

“oh c’mon!! you didn’t even shake my hand :((”

he feels even more lost as he tries to wrap his head around that uh.....

you uh.... you wanted a handshake??

.....

tae doesn’t even hide his annoyance because it’s clear as day!!!

he’s blatantly tilting his head at you rudely with a blank stare omg take the hint pLEASE

realizing it now you mAY have came on too strong to taehyung that looks confused as ever

“hi, i’m y/n.”

changbin’s by one of the lockers taking pics of you beaming at taehyung and him scowling down to show you later how dumb you look and how you shouldn’t do this at all

okay LISTEN

his personality trait is to immediately assume the worst out of every scenario possible and that way when something slightly less worse happens? that’s a win babie ;D

he became ur friend in the first place because you heard him yelling since he’s at the door right next to yours and you could hEAR him throwing things around as he cusses his laptop

yeah he cusses his laptop what about it??

if you close your eyes hard enough, you could hear him throw his router against the wall (you later learned that he was so close to finishing his digitalization but then his laptop decided to die) before punching the air

(( the friendship started when you knocked vERY gently and offered him to borrow your laptop even if you aren’t done with all your homework ))

((( changbin thought at first that u were such an organized and too-friendly social butterfly who’s a kiss-ass to everyone but now he thinks ur the coolest person ever and he treasures you more than life itself )))

although, taehyung’s a lot more vicious and closed-off and critical than changbin

he narrows his gaze at you as you introduce yourself for the second time before merely clicking his tongue

“ok cool”

is that uhm

is that IT good sir

“you’re not,” you’re dancing around your words and being careful to not let a pout grace your lips at the sheer lack of enthusiasm, “gonna introduce yourself to me??”

you got a reaction alright

taehyung sCOFFS and that’s the loudest he’s ever been with you in the span of two minutes

“you followed me for ten minutes just to tell me your name. kinda seems like you already know mine if you do that, no?”

this is why you took up biochem instead of law

how do the lawyers not break down???

why does phoenix wright make it seem SO easy?? especially when he’s spoken to in a confrontal tone???

oh god taehyung broke you already

not to be rude but uh what do you wANT

can you get it over already??

“o-oh! uhm i was wondering if i could uHm,” you sound ridiculous now that you think about it and this is perhaps one of the only times you feel embarrassed, “volunteer to be your model for your project?”

hmm

was that a wrong answer,,,

sHOULD YOU HAVE SAID THAT??

“are you in my class?”

taehyung asks and he’s finally said a sentence to you!!! omg

you’re quite shocked so he had to click his tongue to get you to answer

“no, actually!! i’m a biochem major and-...”

that’s all it takes before he hums and nods his head

and for some reason taehyung looks at you like you’re pREY

“are you a stalker?”

okay wait holy fuck wHAT

you know what

you took a sip from changbin’s coffee half an hour ago but why are you only choking on it nOW

you’re positively sputtering and now ur pressured bc tae thinks you’re a stalker!!! a damn stalker!!

“looked at you long enough. i don’t need a sketch artist and i could just-”

no no no pls no

this meeting is going downhill very quickly

“oh my god taehyung i’m nOT a stalker okay!!!”

that shuts him up because your voice is so firm and okAY then how do u explain this stalker smh ://

throughout the whole time you’re talking about changbin being an art major and also your neighbor and everything in between, tae has such a neutral expression that you feel so intimidated

“-and that’s what!! i’m not taking advantage of you or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking i guess? i swear!!”

he listened and well if he’s being honest,,, okay yea you did make sense and he does know changbin

“okay then. i’ll think about it.”

“are you gonna give me your number???”

it’s either you’re so forward or he’s just not used to being caught off-guard

WHICH FUCKING ONE

“what for?”

it’s been so long ever since someone asked taehyung for his number

usually in galas and any other socialite gatherings you could think of, everyone’s number would just be in your phone automatically and you won’t even rEMEMBER how it got there in the first place

better yet, it’s been so long since he went back to his usual routine lifestyle of being himself

his last gala was two weeks ago and tae had to keep looking at his phone to study pdfs and whatever clear pictures he can get of his reviewers back at home because he had a test tomorrow morning

“so you could text me where we’re gonna meet so you could paint me, silly!!”

okay wOAH there

“i didn’t even say that you’d be my model????”

“lol but you were thinking it huh”

that’s it

taehyung has nO choice but to paint you if he wants to finish this project and graduate and have something of a thicker paper to flaunt

it came as a shock to him that hE took your offer and he could only imagine its effect on you

not to brag but tae didn’t even have to sweat for a little because it’s yOU who came to him with this offer!! not him!!

tae lives in the classiest apartment here in uni and everyone probably knows that

much to his insistence that he doesn’t want anyone from uni going outside his apartment, he had to take an L and invite you over

he wouldn’t risk doing his work in any place else because he doesn’t want anyone thinking and getting the wrong idea!!

speaking of, he’s regretting it now because you seem to be too happy being in his space

you’re pointing around and being awed at every possible thing!!!

what??? is this ur first time seeing a rattan hanging chair :// or a massive couch?? or a canvas painting of something so beautiful?? all of that in what’s supposed to be a student’s one apartment??? christ y/n get yourself together

“so what do you want me to do?? where do i sit oR do i stand instead?? i’m gonna need you to know that-...”

“nothing.” taehyung deadpans before he gets his camera so he could get digital shots as well if ever he needs an extra touch when it comes to his final product

the gears in your head are going bRRR and you’re gonna have to ask him to elaborate but taehyung already sets the pace

“nothing. just be your rEALLY annoying self and pretend i’m not here.”

normally you don’t take his words to heart but this one just hits a little close to home bc it’s early in the morning and taehyung already finds you intolerable

“by pretend, do you mean-...”

“up to you. are you more annoying around me or no?”

how did he read your MIND

tae got the thoughts in your head word per word and you’re so amazed at that because fUcK you originally thought that he’s good at bluffing his way up

click!

it’s you smiling at him

no you’re beaming at him

and you’re in front of his morning-lit curtains and you’re against the light

the portrait itself is already visually appealing and satisfying and man the shadows!!! the value!!!! they’re so raw and dreamy and this is exactly his style!!!

it was just a one-take wonder as soon as he took a picture of you!!! and he may have you to hold that position if he needs the push!! he just needs to translate it to canvas with his own language and emotions and then he’s dONE!!

you’re a pain in the ass

you laugh and you move too much

taehyung had you to to revisit that pose and hold it and you wouldn’t stop giggling bc you were too proud that you did THAT!

you also ask too many things that even hE doesn’t have the answers to

how is he supposed to know if red string lovers exist when you went into a spiel just because you saw a red tube of paint???? and why is he saying his opinions on such trivial things when he has his final project to take care of???

and how is he supposed to know why YOU’RE here hanging out with him instead of finishing your own final project

jk maybe it’s the L word but you’re gonna subdue that as much as possible since taehyung looks like he’d leave you by yourself with any chance that he gets

and you even call him terms of endearment!!! nicknames!! pet names!! names that you’d call someone who’s familiar to you and you probably l*ve!!!

angel

that’s what you call him :))

“why do you call me that?”

“because you look like one”

“and how would yOU know what angels look like??”

“because if they were to exist then you’d probably look like one!!”

“but-”

“ok that’s one minute no more questions taehyung <3″

tae just provides you with all the conviction you need to take care of him without even knowing

not in a maternal type of instinct type of way, but rather in a sPECIAL someone type of way

you find yourself caring for him mOre than you ever could for any regular friend you have!!

you just throw a whole loaf of bread to changbin and call it a day

but for tae??? you go above and beyond!!

“did it ever hit you that rich kid kim never really introduced himself to you?”

oh right....

changbin points out one day and you could see where he was getting at

for some reason he always knew what was in your mind at any given time and sometimes it’s to your disadvantage

you seem to be growing on taehyung though!!

he tolerates you better now!!

sometimes he’ll find you loveable even

he likes having someone around and you’re the perfect contender

if he decides to not talk too much, then you fill up the white noise!!

if he wants you to shut up?? then yOU shut up but of course not without babbling for a little

he’s opened up but with some reservations

some reservations that you don’t mind but it’s normal that you feel sometimes left out, y’know??

because it’s been a good month since you and taehyung properly interacted but he still resents you as much if you think about it

“hey angel!!”

“what is it-...”

taehyung looks up from his meal that he’s been poking at his fork because this has to be the fourth time you call out to him

so he turns to look at you and-

uhm

there seems to be a misunderstanding

you weren’t calling HIM

you were calling out to some other guy that iSN’T him

that’s seungmin!!! omg you haven’t seen him in so long and he just happened to pass by your lunch table!!!

apparently he has something to talk to you about which is why you’re standing up and leaving tae all alone on the table

seungmin’s smile is adorable as always and he gets you in a pretty good mood!!

oh god

dear gOD

what is taehyung feeling in his chEST???

tae’s grip on his fork is starting to get pRETTY tight

and if he’s aware enough, his right eye’s twitching and he’s practically scoffing under his breath

why tf would you call him that

WHO is angel and why is it nOT him anymore????

what he’s feeling is just unexplainable and it tastes something like betrayal

“who’s he?”

he quizzes you as soon as you get back to your table and you don’t waver one bit because you know he’s been asking questions recently

“oh that’s just seungmin!! we were childhood friends then he just transferred here awhile-...”

there’s a bitter taste on his tongue and it shows up in his face and you’re not even paying attention to him!!

“really? thought i was him for a second.”

ok now that got you to stop eating

????

why is he acting weird

taehyung looks even more irked because you look sO oblivious right now

“do you call everyone angel?”

o-oh where is this going

“uhm-”

you’re not even finished and to be honest you’re quite lost and taehyung sCOFFS you to the next century

“‘course you do.”

taehyung angrily finishes his meal and you leave it at that because ok maybe he had a bad day?? and he’s just taking it out on you??

and well tae DOESN’T want you to leave it at that

he wants you to ASK him why he’s mad!!! he’s passive-aggressive and it’s getting unhealthy but he’d rather choke than have him spill whatever he’s feeling

the next few days, taehyung avoids you like his LIFE depended on it

you’re not really bothered by it because he has his days, but this one’s just getting out of control

“are you giving me a time-out or something??”

lmao what did u do now

you nudge him when you see him by changbin’s apartment to borrow an easel even though he’s already got it by his apartment

yeah he’s mad at you and he’s petty but maybe he wants to see you again

tae’s giving you silent treatment and you don’t even question him for it

you don’t bother!!

you’re letting him do whatever he wants as always and he dOESN’T like it anymore!!!

he feels like he’s gonna combust at any given time and you don’t give a shit and he feels like yOU should give a shit because you always do!!

you always hover and worry around him but wHY does he feel like you’re not doing it anymore??

why does he yEARN FOR YOU???

it’s quite an an early night for you

you love biochem but sometimes it kicks your ass and it makes you retch at the mention of all-nighters nowadays!! bc they used to be fun but now doing them because you nEED to?? no thx

you’re already in your pajamas and you’re all washed up!! what could changbin need from you at 9 in the evening??

there’s an urgent knocking on your door and you resist the need to groan because you were about to really knock yourself out!! you need to get back all the rest you’ve wasted over your own final project

is that-

“taehyung?”

the man in question is in his huge yellow hoodie that swallows him up every time and he looks positively spent

his hair’s shaggy and his eyes are glazed and there’s a pink tint to his cheeks :((

he’s holding a baby hydroflask in his hands and you’re pretty sure that’s alcohol in there lol

“don’t call me taehyung!!”

he immediately snaps and you’re lost as aLWAYS

did he really just walk all the way to your complex to snAp at you??

“i’m not taehyung,” he frowns deeply and that’s when you’re a bit more mesmerized, “i’m angel.”

is this what you think it is??

your no.1 deflection move is to laugH and you’re doing that rn

something about this whole situation tickles you funny and you’re not sure what to feel about it

“i like your bottle!! i should get one for myself!!”

he could see right through you though

he ignores your stOOpid statements and goes to hold your hands :((

“no, no. i’m your angel. i-i’m your taehyung, right??”

listen

taehyung is the most confusing being you know and he’s so emotionally constipated that he outperforms changbin but this one,,,

this just feels so different

he’s hugging you

he’s embracing you

he’s burrowing his face to your neck and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t ever imagine what this would feel like :(((

he positively 100% might be in love with you

and you positively 100% might be in love with him too

he’s fishing for your hand by your side to put in between your bodies as he shakes it and that’s because he doesn’t wanna let go of the hug

:((((

you’re melting and this what heaven must feel like :((((

“h-hi. name’s kim taehyung and i’m yours.”

#I SPENT A LOT OF TIME ON THIS PLS LEAVE FEEDBACK PLS AND THANK YOU :D #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung imagine #taehyung imagines #taehyung x reader #taehyung x y/n #taehyung drabble #taehyung drabbles #taehyung au #taehyung oneshot #bts taehyung #bts imagine #taehyung fic rec #taehyung fic recs #bts fic recs #kim taehyung imagine #requested drabbles

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possessingtheproperspirit · 2 years

Note

hellooo!! L + H + F if you don't mind <3

Helloooooo!! Thanks for sending these <33

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

It varies, mainly based on how tired I am/how fed up of the writing I am by the time I get to posting. Sometimes it's very much a case of "ugh I can't look at this anymore, if there are issues then so be it", and other times I take a few runs at it. I don't enjoy editing and revising that much and, actually, a lot of it happens each time I open the doc to write—I go back through to remind myself where I've got to, and tinker with it as I go.

H: How would you describe your style?

I find this a hard question, in that I'm not sure how I'd describe anyone's style, let alone my own! I think it's very emotion-centred. A bit zingy. A bit/lot painful.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Okay I chose a snippet that can't really be deemed a snippet but I just really like it, okay?

Remus was sat on his bed, scribbling something on a piece of parchment; he looked up and watched as James dumped his dirty Quidditch kit in a heap on the floor, kicked the dorm door shut and moved to sit at the foot of Moony’s bed.

“I saw Lily in the bath,” he said, deciding that preamble would be a waste of time.

Remus’ eyes widened comically and he sat forward. “I’m sorry—what?”

“Apparently there’s been an issue with the prefect bathroom door, it doesn’t always shut properly and it hadn’t done, and I wandered in there all innocent and muddy from practice to find her in the bath.” The words rushed out of him—it was almost a relief. He sighed and lowered his voice a little, furtively. “Moony, I almost saw her tits.”

Remus could only blink for a few seconds before he found any words. “Wow…”

“Yeah,” James agreed.

“I mean…blimey,” Remus shook his head.

“Yeah,” he said again, and paused. The quiet of the dorm room struck him, and he thought about what he had caught sight of downstairs—Sirius and Pete hadn’t looked very far into their game. He lifted his gaze to look his friend in the eye. “This is an embarrassing secret, Moony. You know why I’m telling you?”

Remus raised an eyebrow, and a shoulder in a shrug. “Why?”

“Because you’re my best friend.”

James watched, fondly, as the flash of realisation crossed Moony’s face—that he’d wandered unwittingly into a Serious Conversation, one he’d been avoiding since his return, and now there was no easy way out of it. “Prongs—” he started.

“You know how there’s a scale of, I dunno, affection?” James carried on; best to cut the chap off before he got a head of steam going. “With, let’s say, Rosier and Mulciber and those utter cretins at one end, and my mum and dad at the other?”

Remus eyed him warily. “James, I don’t need you to—”

“On this scale,” he barrelled on cheerfully, “there’s mum and dad, obviously, and then just below them is a three-way tie.” He held up three fingers to tick them off. “You, Sirius, Pete. All the same level, as it happens, because best friend isn’t just one tiny pedestal, it’s a…” he paused thoughtfully. “Yes! It’s a platform. With space for several people.”

Remus had that uncomfortable, squirmy look about him that told James that he was trying desperately not to get emotional. “Seriously, James, you don’t need to…tend to my wounded ego or anything.”

James fixed him with a stern look. “Piss off, Moony. You can’t tell me who my best friends are. I’m the one who makes that decision.” He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was gentler. “I’m sorry. After…what happened, I just wanted things to be okay again, but…that shouldn’t have come at the expense of your feelings.”

Remus dropped his gaze. “S’alright.”

“It’s not,” James insisted quietly. “Sirius fucked up. He knows it. Pete knows it. I know it. And if you think I haven’t been angry and sad and…and fucked off about what he did to you, then I’m sorry, because I should’ve made it clearer.”

A silence fell, although it wasn’t awkward. James had a feeling that Remus was using the opportunity to gather himself.

“It felt like we’d lost a limb without you here, Moony,” he added eventually. “If you think you aren’t important, that you don’t matter to us, then I’m sorry but you’re fucking mad.”

A smile, finally, cracking just slightly through on his pale face. “Alright,” he said, voice thick with feelings unnamed. “Christ. You’ve made your point. I believe you.”

“Good,” James nodded. “But I’ll keep reminding you at regular intervals, just in case.”

“Kind of you,” Remus replied dryly.

“And you might want to put the stopper in that inkwell,” he suggested.

Remus frowned in brief confusion before the truth of what was about to happen dawned on him. “Wait—”

“Incoming!” James beamed before launching himself at his friend, half hug, half tackle that ended up with them both falling off the bed, Remus kicking him in the shins and James declaring all out war as he attempted to sit on his friend’s chest.

I am proud of this chunk of dialogue (chapter 10 of The Price We Pay, for full details, see my published works #gilderoyforever) because I feel like it hits several key notes for me. 1) James being head over heels for Lily and desperately trying not to be. 2) James being a fucking dreamboat of a friend, so earnest and sweet and kind. 3) Remus being a bit of an emotionally-constipated struggler, god love him. 4) James showing affection by leaping on his friend.

I mean, what more could one ask for...?

Send me an ask from this list, if you'd like!

#fanfic ask game #fic #writing #the price we pay

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kissinginkitchens · 3 years

Text

You Bring Me Home—Chapter Five: Like Real People Do

a/n: hellooo and welcome to the next part of ybmh!! i am sooooo excited about this next chapter (and upcoming chapters😏 ). Thank you again for all of your kind words and wonderful feedback! It's always so much fun to hear from you all, so as always, feel free to come chat in my inbox once you've finished this next part. I have a feeling there will be much to discuss👀 Much love, Mel <3

Pairing: Hawai'i!Harry x Original Character

Warnings: swearing, allusions to sexual content, mentions of drowning

Word Count: 5.6k

read parts one, two, three, and four

“I’m not going,” Alani says finally, discarding the outfit in her hands onto a pile on her bed. The clock reads 7:55 pm, only five minutes before she was supposed to be at the studio. She still hadn’t selected an outfit, but her hair and makeup were still relatively intact from her shift at the café.

“You have to!” Pua whines. “You told him you would!”

“Then I’ll tell him I’m sick or something—food poisoning. Period cramps, maybe,”

She begins placing the clothes on hangers to put back in her closet, but her sister reaches for her wrists to stop her.

“You’re just nervous,” Pua says calmly, getting eye level with her older sister. “But you’ll regret it if you don’t go,”

“Go where?” a woman’s voice calls from the door frame. Their mother, Estrella, peeks her head through the cracked door.

“To a party with a cute boy,” Pua explains.

Alani shoots an icy glare at her sister before turning back to her mom. “It’s not a party. I’m working on a piece about a local musician and he’s recording some music tonight and said I could go. You know, to write about it,”

Estrella nods, not convinced. “So why don’t you wanna to go?”

“Because they almost kissed—”

“Pua!”

“Hey, hey,” Estrella cuts in. “Mija, you’re twenty-two years old, I don’t expect you to stay single forever. If you want to go out and see a cute boy, you don’t need to lie about it,”

“But I’m not lying,” Alani defends. “It’s just… complicated, and I’m trying to be professional about it.”

Estrella steps away from the doorframe and envelops her daughter in a hug. “Sometimes, you just have to do what feels right and hope for the best,”

Alani is grateful for the piece of wisdom from her mother, feeling a small weight lifted off her shoulders.

“But if I were you,” her mom continues. “I would wear the black strappy dress with those wedges.”

********

8:10. Harry checks his phone for the third time in one minute, growing more disappointed each time the same three numbers stare back at him, almost mocking. He doesn’t feel any better when the time reads 8:11.

“Can I interest you in a piña colada?” Mitch pipes up, sauntering over with a glass in each hand.

The choice of drink seemed perfect when Harry had suggested it earlier in the day, but he deeply regrets it now. Despite the tightening at the back of his throat, Harry accepts the drink and chooses to nurse it in a different corner of the room. A part of him feels guilty for being such a buzzkill around his friends these days, and he wishes more than anything that he could just enjoy living in this moment with them. Being away from Alani had produced a strange feeling in him similar to the sickness experienced when leaving home on a long vacation; Harry didn’t know exactly how to cure it, but he hoped that lots of alcohol would do the trick.

When the clock reads 8:20, he accepts that she isn’t coming and decides to make the best of a shitty situation. He drains another piña colada and joins his friends who are huddled around various instruments and sound equipment. A few more of Harry’s writer and producer friends had joined the trip temporarily, and he’s grateful, now more than ever, for their presence—it distracts him from the overwhelming emptiness in the pit of his stomach. Jeff hands Harry a microphone and some headphones while Mitch plugs a white electric guitar into the amp. The guitarist begins with some chords that the crew has been messing around with for the past couple of days: an upbeat riff reminiscent of some of Harry’s favorite 70s rock pieces. His head is spinning mildly, but he uses the feeling as inspiration. He pinches his eyes shut and tries to let the lyrics flow, but the only words coming out are “she’s driving me crazy”, so he starts with that. The group also runs with it, adding a few yells and lyrics of their own. The song isn’t coherent in the slightest, filled mostly with laughter and choppy melodies, but it’s the best Harry has felt all night. He traded the piña coladas for a glass of tequila fit snugly in the palm of his hand, and true to Mitch’s word, the giggles emerge. At one point, he shouts the words “I’m havin’ your baby”, which makes zero sense to anyone in the room, including him, but they decide that it sounds cool and keep it going.

“It’s none of your business!” Mitch calls back, voice raised in his best soprano to mimic that of a woman. The shoddy attempt makes Harry laugh even harder and his hand clutches his stomach.

They continue on for what feels like hours, but in reality has only been forty-five minutes. At 9:05, Jeff Azoff heads outside to catch his breath and cool down. As he takes a seat on the steps, a yellow Ford Bronco pulls into the lot and Alani steps out once it's parked. She emerges in a black dress that falls mid thigh and a baby pink leather jacket, making her way nervously up the steps.

“Alani,” Jeff greets warmly with cheeks flushed. “Welcome. Party’s inside.”

She shoots him a grateful smile and reaches for the studio door, slipping inside cautiously. The music had been audible a mile down the road, but it’s even more overwhelming inside. Standing on a small coffee table in the center of the room is Harry with an arm draped around a shorter man wearing a black and white Adidas shirt. His dimples are on full display and his warbled words carry over the speakers to attack her from all sides. She recognizes Mitch hunched over a guitar and Jeff Bhasker spinning in an office chair, but she can’t put names to the other faces lingering around Harry. Alani feels extremely out of place, not knowing where she belongs in all of the chaos—it all seems to her like a living Jackson Pollock painting that she can’t look away from. In the middle of his off-key rendition of Wannabe by the Spice Girls, Harry’s eyes land on Alani and his smile grows ten times wider. He puts one foot in front of the other, completely disregarding the small size of the table, but he catches himself just as Alani lunges forward to help him. This results in their two bodies pressed flush against one another, the coolness of her leather jacket versus the warmth of his intoxication.

“You made it,” he slurs.

Alani takes a small step back and clears her throat. “Yeah. Sorry I’m late,”

“Don’ worry ‘bout it,” Harry shrugs, his eyes lighting up when he remembers something. “There’s piña coladas! In the kitchen,”

The fact that he remembered such a detail from their previous conversations and made an effort to incorporate it into this night makes her cheeks warm.

“Okay, cool. Thanks,”

Harry scans her appearance and his stomach flutters.

“Y’look really pretty,” he offers. Alani can tell that it takes every ounce of effort to do so.

“Thank you,” she murmurs, voice small.

“Wanna get some fresh air?”

“Yes, please.”

The two of them slip out through a side door and into the backyard, stopping just before the pier. Alani doesn’t know how much of these next moments Harry will remember in the morning, which makes her feel a little more confident to share what she’s truly thinking.

“Harry, I—”

“God, you’re so pretty,” he interrupts, running a hand through his hair.

Her cheeks heat up, but she pushes past the feeling. “And you’re drunk,”

“Yeah, true. But you’re still pretty. Always think so,”

Alani searches his eyes, which are sleepy and bloodshot, but there isn’t a trace of insincerity. In this moment, she also feels the overwhelming urge to be honest—about the butterflies in her stomach that only set flight when he’s around, and the way she constantly wonders what his lips would feel like against hers. But there’s an intensity behind Harry’s gaze, despite his intoxicate state, that stops her.

“You’re making this so hard,” Alani laughs lightly, more to herself than him.

“‘M sorry,” he offers. “Don’t mean to,”

She smiles at Harry’s completely innocent reply, not knowing what to do with all of the pent up affection she has for him. A part of her simply wants to scream in his face to stop being so goddamn endearing. Instead, Alani turns on her heel to put some space between them, but stops when she feels a warm hand tug at her fingers.

“Why d’you always do that?” Harry asks, his expression a little more sober.

Alani takes a deep breath. “Do what?”

“Pull away when I get close. Did it in the car that one time. And the other time at the beach,”

There’s a beat of silence where Alani isn’t sure how to respond, but before she does, Harry releases her fingers and takes a step back.

“Wait, that was stupid. ‘M sorry if I did anything—”

“No,” Alani interrupts, taking a step closer. “You haven’t done anything wrong,”

“So why?”

She releases a breath and swallows. “I don’t know,”

It isn’t the answer Harry is looking for, but he accepts it with a slow nod. Suddenly feeling the need to flee, he takes a step onto the railing of the pier and Alani’s heart rate speeds up.

“What’re you doing?”

“S’hard to tell,” he shrugs before letting himself fall into the water below.

“Harry!” she screams, heaving over the edge of the railing to find him. The drop, unbeknownst to her, is only six feet and he’s done it many times before.

After a few seconds, Alani sees him reemerge at the surface, shaking his wet hair out. There’s a small strip of sand along the shore below, so she bolts down the stairs to meet him at the bottom.

“What the fuck?!” She cries, panic welling in the brim of her eyes. “Why did you do that?”

“I don’t know,” he deadpans.

“You could’ve hurt yourself,” Alani croaks, her limbs shaking. “You—you could’ve—”

Harry reaches out to comfort her but she steps back.

“I gotta go,”

“Alani,” he says gently, but she doesn’t respond. “Alani, wait!”

She walks briskly back to the front lot, Harry close behind.

“Alani, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Don’t follow me.” she orders.

Her words are like a dagger through his chest, but he respects her wishes and stops dead in his tracks. Harry stands soaking wet under the moonlight, feeling helpless as he watches Alani disappear into the darkness.

********

She wakes the next morning with puffy eyes and a heavy heart, still wearing the same black dress from the night before. The warm water of a morning bath eases some of the tension in her muscles, but she knows it will take a lot more to soothe the tightness in her chest.

Why do you always do that?

Do what?

Pull away.

Their conversation from the night before lingers like a nasty bruise in Alani’s mind, but she senses a bit of harsh truth in Harry’s words. She did have a bad habit of walking away when things got hard, especially concerning matters of the heart. Her instincts were all flight and no fight, so even if Alani had stayed, she isn’t sure how she would’ve explained her reasons for panicking. How do I gently pepper in the whole almost dying thing? she wonders, a lump forming at the back of her throat. Alani was only eight years-old when she nearly drowned, and though almost fourteen years had passed since then, she still vividly remembers the helplessness of sinking further under the strong tide. On nights after a particularly stressful day, Alani’s sleep is often disturbed by the sensation of her lungs slowly filling with water only to wake up drenched in sweat and clutching the sheets. She had worked hard for several years after the incident to overcome her fear of the ocean, but a part of her still couldn’t shed the debilitating need for caution. After all, it was easier to avoid the water altogether than to wade in blindly and get sucked under. Watching Harry sink into the unknown stirred the same sense of panic that Alani had felt all those years ago and threatened to undo her progress, but she quickly realized that it was the idea of losing him that had sent her into flight mode. She imagines the hollowness she would feel at the sight of waterfalls and the scent of vanilla; piña coladas—the drink and the song—tainted in her memory forever. The thought of Harry's absence was all too much to bear, but it’s how she knew that his presence must mean something. He meant something, and she couldn’t let him go.She ends her bath quickly and sifts through the first pair of clothes she can find. Suddenly none of it mattered: what she wore, how she looked, Rolling Stone—nothing but him. Alani thinks back to her mother’s words: sometimes you just have to do what feels right and hope for the best. All she needed to do was see him and the words would find themselves. The sky is overcast when she steps outside, so she quickly puts the top on Stevie and pulls out into the road, deciding to make one quick pit-stop before setting off to find him.

********

Harry’s head pounds and he feels as if the sun has been set to maximum brightness. His clothes reek of saltwater, his skin feels like sandpaper, and his mouth is the Sahara desert. None of this compares, however, to the sense of impending doom that settles in when the memories of the night before, particularly those of Alani, resurface. I’m so fucked, he groans. Harry doesn’t quite remember every detail, but he remembers enough; he remembers how pretty she looked, and reminding her of it. He feels the temporary warmth of her fingers and the coolness of her jacket pressed against his chest. There’s a bit of fuzziness between the Spice Girls and piña coladas, but then Harry remembers crashing through water and his memory gets clearer. He fucked up. He had upset Alani in some way and although he doesn’t quite know how, he knows that he would spend the rest of his life trying to make up for it. Harry sits up suddenly and the whole room spins, but he makes an effort to stand anyway. Need to see Alani, he thinks with determination, I just need to see Alani.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Mitch comments from the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee.

“What time is it?” Harry croaks.

Mitch takes a sip of coffee and checks his phone. “10:30,”

“And last night was…”

“The party?” Mitch fills in the gaps. “Yeah,”

Harry rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands and takes a seat at the table. “Did...did you see Alani?”

“No. I don’t think anyone did, actually. Did you?”

“Yeah,”

“So… I’m assuming it didn’t go well?”

Harry’s throat tightens and he hopes that she at least got home safely. He can’t bear to think about anything bad happening to her on his watch.

“No,” he confirms with a sigh. “No it didn’t,”

“Are you gonna go talk to her?” Mitch prods.

“Dunno if I should. She was pretty pissed,”

Mitch thinks for a second, taking another sip of coffee. “What would Noah Calhoun do?”

Under normal circumstances, Harry would be very amused by his friend’s reference to The Notebook, but right now he’s too focused on making things right with Alani. He devises a plan of action and stands.

“On a scale of one to ten,” he starts. “How shitty do I look?”

Mitch scans his best friend over, head tilting from side to side as he considers the question. “About a 7.5.”

“Good enough.”

Harry swipes the keys to the Cadillac off the counter and slips his feet into a pair of beat up vans before heading out the door.

********

The restaurant is fairly empty, as far as Alani can tell from the back. The kitchen staff are gathered in the break room for the time being, which allows her to tiptoe around unnoticed as she grabs the necessary ingredients for her peace offering to Harry. She hurries out through the employee entrance as soon as it’s complete and the key is already turning in her car’s lock when she hears a voice over her shoulder, calling her name.

“David?” she responds, turning to face the brawny man leaning against the car that is parked beside hers.

“Hey,” he starts, offering a flash of pearly white teeth. “I know I’m not supposed to be back here, but I just wanted to talk to you,”

Alani swallows, the icy chill of the drink in her hands reminding her of what needs to be done.

“You know, now’s not really a gr—”

“I haven't stopped thinking about you,” David interrupts, taking a step closer. “Since the other day when you stopped by. I mean, I think about you all the time but…” he trails off and Alani waits awkwardly for him to finish his ill-timed confession. David takes another step towards her and rests his forearm against the hood of her car, practically boxing her in with no escape route.

“We were really great together, don’t you think?” he asks, scanning her face with his prying eyes. “I don’t even remember why we broke things off,”

Alani’s brow furrows, her mind failing to come up with a logical explanation for this very sudden and uncomfortable conversation. She hadn’t lied when she told Harry that David wasn’t her ex, but she hadn’t been entirely honest, either. They had started hooking up during her senior year of high school—mostly because he was the star swimmer on their team that all the other girls fawned over, and despite all the attention, he had wanted her. It made her feel momentarily special, though she knew he wasn’t the boyfriend type. “Just a bit of fun” is what they called it, and the arrangement worked out well until Alani’s freshman year of college when she realized that there was an entire world of opportunities waiting beyond the confines of high school. A world that had brought her Harry, who was probably going to leave just as soon as he’d arrived if she didn’t make amends quickly.

“No,” Alani says decisively, nudging his arm away. “We weren’t ‘great’ together, we weren’t even good for each other,”

“Alani-”

“We were really young,” she continues. “And we did what we did, but that’s all in the past-”

“If you would just give me a chance-”

“I didn’t even know what I wanted for myself back then, let alone what I wanted out of a partner. But I do now,”

She doesn’t have to say Harry’s name, but they’re both thinking it. David steps back, arms crossed, and though he had always been somewhat intimidating, he looks small standing before her now.

“It’s because of that British guy, isn’t it?” he asks, despite the feeling that he already knows the answer.

Alani lets out a light laugh but she doesn’t confirm his suspicions. “We have nothing in common, David. We want different things out of life, you’ll see,”

“And he,” David continues, an accusatory tone on the word “he”. “Wants everything you do?”

She thinks for a moment, her heart pounding as she considers what Harry’s response will be to her confession. “I hope so.”

********

Harry had considered going to Alani’s house first, but he wasn’t sure who else would be home and didn’t particularly want his first interaction with her parents to occur whilst hungover. Sitting parked on the back road behind the café, however, he wishes that he had stopped there first to save him the painful sight ahead. Harry recognizes the other man from the restaurant he had taken Alani to the first time they had hung out, a name that started with the letter “D," though probably not the one flashing angrily in his mind. His arm is draped comfortably along the roof of her car, their bodies inches apart in what appears to be a very intimate moment. While he still can’t remember the exact details of his actions that had upset Alani so much, he fits this piece into the puzzle and it becomes much more clear. She has a boyfriend, and no amount of apologies could reconcile this fact, however tempted Harry may be to try. The word “boyfriend” sits uncomfortably in his mind, but it suddenly puts everything else into perspective. It explains why she fled his car so quickly when his wandering eyes had hinted their desire for her kiss—both times. He could have sworn that it would have happened had her phone not interrupted them the second time, but perhaps it had all been a trick of the rose-colored light. The sudden realization makes Harry feel sick, and a bit foolish, so he speeds off before he can be spotted.

He drives aimlessly for a while, mind still racing with the image of the other man’s depraved hands on Alani’s soft skin. The uneasiness boiling in the pit of his stomach is pathetic—he’s well aware—but he can’t stop himself from wondering why not me? It’s a selfish thought, but it eats at him, nonetheless. It should have been me. But the reality is that it wasn’t him, and it never would be. Despite any feelings he’d had that Alani was the one for him, he was not the one for her, and it’s a fact he must learn to live with. If this thought were a rock, he’d turn it over in his fingers until they bled.

********

Alani pulls up to the studio hesitantly and waits a beat before making her way up the stairs. She knocks twice, but there’s no answer, so she presses her ear to the door in search of any sound. Silence. There’s no trace of the cars Harry usually drives when she wanders to the back lot, either, so she figures that he must not be here. Alani racks her brain for other possible locations, but it’s a dead end. She doesn’t know what hotel or house he could be staying at, and her heart begins to race at the idea that he might not even be in Hawaii anymore. For all she knows, he could be on a return flight to L.A. or London, gone forever with the same instructions she had left him: don’t follow me. Alani lifts her phone with trembling fingers and searches Harry’s name, pressing the phone to her ear and praying like she had never prayed before. It rings three times before she’s sent to voicemail. The sound of his voice on the recording brings temporary relief, but it’s gone as soon as the message ends and she is prompted to respond. She clears her throat gently and speaks as if he is at the other end waiting to hear the right words and pick up.

“Hi, it’s Alani,” she starts slowly. “I, uh…. I’m at the studio. I don’t think you’re here though,”

She walks in small circles around the backyard and lets her eyes roam to the pier where it all went wrong. It sends a pang of guilt through her spine, but it fuels her next words.

“Listen, I really wanna talk—about last night. I shouldn’t have left, I know that now. It wasn’t you, it was me, and I know that sounds cliché but it’s true,”

Alani swallows down the emotion bubbling at the back of her throat and wishes that she could just see him, face to face, one last time. There’s so much more she needs to say, but it’s a conversation she doesn’t want to have with his answering machine.

“Please just call me when you get this. I wanna explain everything if you’ll let me.”

She hangs up and nearly throws her phone into the ocean. Though her trauma response wasn’t completely in her control and it isn’t something she should feel guilty about, she wishes she had been able to explain. Alani hadn’t always been comfortable sharing that part of her life, but there was a security in Harry’s presence that made her feel okay to do so. She wanted to share everything with him, the good and the bad, but she needed to find him first.

Only twenty minutes had elapsed at the studio when Alani decides to head out; there was still no word from Harry and she needed to be anywhere else beside the site of their potential last meeting. She drives with no particular place in mind, the windows rolled down to let in the chilly, overcast air. It isn’t until she’s halfway in the opposite direction that she gets the urge to visit one other location. There’s an extremely small chance that Harry will be there, but she goes less in search of him and more for her own personal wallowing.

When Alani pulls up to the lookout where the two of them had spotted the rainbow, there is another car already parked: a pink Cadillac. The sight makes her entire body freeze.

“Harry?” a small voice calls behind him. He almost thinks that he had hallucinated it until he reluctantly turns his head and sees a timid Alani emerging from her car. A million emotions run through his mind at once, starting with confusion and elation and ultimately ending in grief.

“Hey,” he responds, weakly, still leaning against the hood of the Cadillac.

Alani slowly makes her way over, not entirely sure that he’s actually there. Once she gets closer, however, she can smell the faint scent of vanilla and her chest swells.

“I left you a voicemail,” is all she can say.

Harry’s brow furrows as he tries to remember any phone calls, but he suddenly figures that in all of his rush to see her, he had forgotten to grab it from his bed.

“Left my phone at the house,” he offers.

There’s a brief silence where the two of them size each other up, weighing their own motives against what they assume to be the other person’s. Harry speaks first.

“Alani, ‘m really sorry,” he says gently, stepping away from the car and towards her. “I know I fucked up—”

“Harry—”

“But I understand now,” he continues. “I know why you were upset,”

Confusion settles into Alani’s body and she wonders how he could possibly know about her accident. Or if he didn’t know, what else he could be referring to. She doesn’t have to guess for long because Harry continues despite her silence.

“I saw you with him—your boyfriend, I mean. Derek?” he explains. “But not in a creepy way I just.. wanted to talk. Bad timing,”

“Wait,” Alani cuts in, her brain finally sorting out the pieces. “You saw me and David..today?”

Harry feels as if the knife in his chest has been twisted further at the mention of the other man’s name, but he nods. An uncontrollable bubble of laughter finds its way up Alani’s throat, and the sound would typically bring butterflies to his stomach, but it only exacerbates the heartache.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Alani clarifies. “He’s delusional. And a huge pain in the ass, but I think he finally got the hint when I turned him down earlier,”

Harry’s ears perk up at the news, but he’s still wary.

“But you two were—”

“Ancient history,” Alani reassures him, taking another step closer. “He might as well be Socrates,”

A faint smile tugs at the corners of Harry’s lips and he feels a wave of relief wash over his body. The news is music to his ears, but he still wants to know what he had done to make her walk away that night.

“So you weren’t upset because you have a boyfriend and I tried to make a move?”

Alani takes a deep breath, knowing that she has avoided saying her piece long enough. Before she can start, though, a rumble of thunder interrupts her thoughts.

“Can we talk in Stevie? I don’t feel like standing in wet socks again,” she asks, which Harry obliges.

The two climb into the truck and settle in, the atmosphere quickly becoming more intimate than Alani had planned. His vanilla cologne has also become more perceptible in the confined space, and there’s a whiff of spearmint, most likely his gum, that briefly draws her attention to his mouth. She snaps her mind back to the conversation at hand and clears her throat.

“I’m sorry,” she begins, reading his eyes carefully. There’s a faint reassurance behind the emerald surface, so she continues. “For everything that happened last night. You did nothing wrong, please know that,”

Harry wishes he could reach out and comfort her, but he gets the feeling that whatever she’s about to say is important so he doesn’t want to dismiss it.

“It’s hard for me, sometimes, to be around the water,” Alani continues despite the prickling feeling in her eyes. “Because when I was eight years old, I almost drowned,”

The revelation hits Harry like a ton of bricks and all at once he understands. He hadn’t even thought twice about jumping into the water that night, so it didn’t occur to him to rule that out as a possible offense. He understands now that he couldn’t have been more mistaken.

“And I know that has nothing to do with you,” Alani explains, her voice wavering ever so slightly. “Except that it terrified me to think about, you know… if you hadn’t been so lucky,”

Her composure quickly cracks, a single tear spilling down her cheek before she wipes it away with the sleeve of her sweater. This time, Harry does reach a hand out and Alani accepts it gratefully; the warmth of his fingers are a welcome contrast to her icy appendages.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he murmurs as his thumb rubs small circles over the back of her hand.

“But I do,” she sniffles. “Because—”

Alani pauses, unsure of how to finish her thought. Just do what feels right and hope for the best.

“Because I care about you,” she says finally, noticing the way his Adam’s apple bobs at her words.

Harry's jaw tightens at her confession and every muscle in his body longs to bring her close, leaving no inch of space between them, but he lets her lead despite his instincts.

"But it’s also because I care about you that I can’t let this go any further,”

Alani’s words surprise herself just as much as they terrify Harry, but she knows that it’s the right thing to do as soon as it’s done.

“Alani—” Harry starts, all of his worst fears crashing down on him.

“Please, don’t make this harder—”

“Don’t I get a say?” he questions, tightening his grip on her hand, though she still manages to slip away.

Alani runs the free hand through her still damp waves and lets another tear roll down her cheek. “What is there left to say?”

“How about ‘I care about you, too’? How about ‘I want to be with you’?”

“It’s too messy—”

“Everyone has baggage,” Harry defends. “God knows I do, and I would never ask you to carry all of that,”

Alani lets her eyes meet his again; they’re bloodshot and glossy, which sends a pang of guilt and sorrow through her entire body.

“You don’t know what you’re asking,” she reasons, this time thinking not only about her own issues, but about everything—the lies she had told and the ambitions she was still nurturing. She hadn’t given up on her dreams and unless Rolling Stone had suddenly changed their mind about the Joni Mitchell piece, there was only one way she was going to achieve them. Alani hadn’t yet reconciled the fact that she would have to put aside her own feelings for Harry to get what she wanted, but she knew that time would heal the wounds.

“All I want,” he continues. “Is a chance. And I know nothing I do will ever change the past, but two hands make the load lighter. So, please, let me carry some of that with you. Give me a chance,”

As she studies the pleading in his eyes, something stirs deeply inside Alani’s chest. She had started the day thinking only of him, but with selfish intentions. Now, she was trying to do right by him, having realized that she couldn’t have both him and the story that would launch her career. Something would have to give, and Harry deserved more than that. He deserved more than her. Despite all of this awareness, there is something else nagging in the back of her mind that she can’t ignore. Don’t walk away, it screams. If Alani ignored her true feelings for Harry and refused his plea, she would be walking away from someone who believed in her, someone who cared deeply for, and wanted to understand, her. Perhaps the universe truly had brought Harry for a story, but to be a part of hers instead of the one she had been so eager to publish. There would be other chances, just like Dr. Hudson had said, but there would never be anyone else like Harry. So with this in mind, Alani decides to stop walking away and stand still, right in this very moment, with the boy who shined brighter than the sun itself and who had only asked for a chance to make her happy.

“Okay,” she breathes and it’s like the weight of the universe has been lifted from her shoulders.

Harry leans in, their foreheads pressed together gently, and cups her cheek in his hand.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers.

Alani nods and nudges the tip of his nose with her own. “Please.”

Their lips meet like electrically charged magnets, with a force so natural and strong it sends bolts of electrons through their entire bodies. Harry’s mouth is warm and gentle against hers, and the coolness of his mint gum soothes the searing touch of his kiss. Alani’s fingers glide up his chest and along the sides of his neck, pulling him closer as if he’s the anchor keeping her from floating away into the dark clouds above them. Over and over again, their lips collide fervently, breaths mixing and filling each other’s lungs. Their hands eagerly explore the curves of each other’s faces, the softness of hair, and the occasional heat of exposed skin. Harry is the first to break the kiss, panting lightly as he pulls back to search Alani’s face.

“Y’okay?” he asks.

“Never been better.”

next chapter

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic #harry styles x oc #solo harry #one direction #ybmh

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kanene-yaaay-o-retorno · 3 years

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HTCAF - Curiosities

Kanene’s Notes: Hey hey hey! What a hellooo! So, I spent some months thinking and wondering about the fanfic How To Catch A Friend and I must say I wasn’t able to fit everything on the oneshot, and since I don’t really plan on writting another one of it, I wanted to share some little details and stories that were partly mentioned on the oneshot. Feel free to send questions or any other headcanon you have! I would be honoured!

[~.~]

Logan

~ Logan is around 11/12/13 years old. He loves astronomy and languages. His vocabulary is heavily advanced, partly because of Emile and part because he likes to read dictionaries and memorize his favorite words.

~ He has vocal stimming (not only humming, but whistling as well), tactile stimming (he especially likes the texture of his notebook’s cover) and vestibular stimming too (swinging his arms and rocking).

~ Logan is autistic and heavily inspired by the character Collin Fischer (from the book: Collin Fischer) but not only him.

~ Logan will repeat Movies or TV show’s lines when the situation he is in seems like the one he watched, Virgil didn’t realize it yet and gets confused of why he feels those random deja-vu. Patton doesn’t watch humans Tv shows so he mostly doesn’t notice.

~ He loves routines and loves to remind his close friends and Emile of their own routines.

~ Logan wasn’t aware he had magic.

[~.~]

Emile

~ Emile is Logan’s mom! Her pronouns are they/she.

~ She is a haunting ghost, which basically means her after-life was supposed to be spent haunting the room where she died. This changed when she adopted Logan and started her daily fight of trying to disconnect her soul from her initial purpose.

~ When Logan comes and announces that his mother is not only in the yard but will be also waiting for him to come back home is actually a very huge achievement because not only Emile managed to release herself from the room she was suppose to stay forever but also to get almost completely out from the entire house and stay firm on her decision because of her own feelings and thoughts and not her initial instincts.

~ They can be seen by everyone and can touch/move/hold material things without any problem. She can also be felt and heard like a normal living human, the only really difference is that she is already dead.

~ Remy is an eldritch being summoned by accident (she wanted something more simple like a little demon or guardian) by Emile because she knew since she was trapped in the house she couldn’t properly take care of Logan when he was outside (or even take him to school). Emile wasn’t really comfortable with the idea of having a kind of “servant” obeying her due the pact she would have to do. However, she was much more uncomfortable with Logan getting hurt.

~ After some years Remy and Emile fell in love.

~ Remy was the one who created Logan’s coat of arms. It’s a kind of amulet that not only protects the boy with a piece of his magic and Emile’s maternal love, but also kind of intertwine his feelings with Emile’s. It’s not very powerful so she can only feel when Logan has a very strong emotion (like distress or fear) and send him calming waves and/or talk to him (like they did during the Aqua Flowers and Waterfall Tears episode), together with also warning Remy so he can immediately check on the boy.

~ They love cartoons and will shamelessly spend hours and hours of her day listening to their songs while making any small or big task.~

~ Helpless romantic.

[~.~]

Remy

~ Remy tends to disappear for some periods of time wandering around partly because he doesn’t get the meaning of time and part because he likes to compare how Earth changes as the years go by.

~ He is Remus and Roman’s friend, which is a very strange thing to Roman because Remy was supposed to not be able to get out from Earth but the eldritch being just... ignores that.

~ Remy will sometimes check on Logan by randomly appearing from nowhere next to him but most of the time the boy doesn’t notice and everyone else around them is *scared*.

~ Says he is very tough but every time Emile smiles, he blushes and internally cries from adoration.

~ Can and will pick Logan to a piggyback ride after a hard day at school and show him beautiful views he discovers during his mindless wandering.

~ His encounter with Virgil was something like “I understand you’re the bitch who casted innumerous protection spells here to keep those two safe and that is the only reason why I don’t fist fight you right now.”; They have no idea of why they don’t like each other, it’s just a mutual thing :v.

Their relationship will probably grow up to be something extremely sarcastic but with some drops of fondness veeery deep down.

~ Refuses to call anyone by their names, only nicknames are allowed on his land.

~ Can and will magic-battle Roman at any chance he can. They think it’s fun.

[~.~]

Roman

~ Sometimes he feels quite bad for wasting Logan, Virgil and Patton’s wish but like, sorry, he would NOT have another thousands of years in space just waiting to be claimed again.

~ Even though Virgil’s comparison (Roman = geniuses) has its credit there are some differences between them. Genius’ power is quite tricky on its own nature, since they work with the equivalent exchange. For example, if you wish for a mountain of gold, that same amount of gold will have to disappear from somewhere. Maybe from a country? Some lost gold on the bottom of the sea? A cavern from a very angry dragon? Ask for it and find out! :D

Roman, on the other hand, has the literal power of creation.

~ Can and will make fun of Remy for falling in love and very much be almost murdered every time he dares to do that. What a cute friendship! :3

~ He and Remus are auto-proclaimed brothers. It started as a joke, but then they got attached.

~ Roman has a very special feeling about Earth because it was the first planet where its population saw him crossing the atmosphere. This is a huge deal to a shooting star and, yes, Roman was claimed by other planets and has some friends and acquaintances on Space, but going to Earth? Seeing all its habitants and nature? Interacting with them? It has been his dream since he was a kid.

[~.~]

Virgil

~ He is in his thirties.

~ He is the son of a cat hybrid! That is why he has some feline habits. (Yes, one of them is acting like a mama cat adopting random kittens on the street and taking care of them/j)

~ Has a soft spot for the kids and you can pry that confession from his dead, cold hands.

~ Likes to cook and often brings everyone snacks.

~ Need a knife? Maybe band aid? Wig? Virgil probably has it. He carries all sorts of things.

~ He will eventually stop being wary around Roman and they will have a friendship built on fake dramatic arguments (they will start to laugh in the middle of it and never finish them), protecting Logan and Patton, sarcasm, nicknames and just being dumb.

[~.~]

Patton

~ Very litol, very energetic, lots of vestibular stimming and vocal stimming (mostly his clicks) too.

~ One day Logan said he thinks that ‘Your existence is a rather enjoyable event’ and Patton still tears up about it every single time he remembers it.

~ One day Virgil tells him he also has The Mean Thoughts and I headcanon him having two reactions:

Cute: Patton will bonk their foreheads together so he can 'poke the mean thoughts away'

Crack: Patton will grab a stick thrice his side and squeak his battle scream with 'I WILL PHYSICALLY FIGHT THEM!!'

Don’t ask me to choose, I can’t.

~ Patton didn’t realize Logan has magic because he thought all the power involving him was from the Coat of arms.

~ Can and will ask to be tossed in the air and to nap on his friend’s hair.

[~.~]

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jasperygrace · 4 years

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Let the Moon Bleed

My first written piece to be posted online; it’s a bit exhilarating to finally share my writing to the world. Thank you to Lily who was willing to beta this for me at last second.

I hope you’ll enjoy.

Synopsis:

A series of murders have taken place within the city of Trin, all of which are seemingly random—except for one key detail. Whenever a victim died, the moon would bleed in response. Jiro Shinizawa and his colleagues are doing their best to solve the case, but how can one solve a murder mystery when there’s no evidence to go on and all their leads turn up dry?

Word Count: 1867 | Genre: Suspense; Supernatural

Jiro Shinizawa had just arrived at the scene of the crime. An alleyway. It was barricaded by yellow tape and dully illuminated by the lights of sirens. By the scene, he saw a young woman wearing a Peace Corps uniform—his rookie assistant, Shiki Sanaki.

“Ah detective,” Shiki greeted, “Glad you could make it.”

“What happened to the guy?” he asked.

“Lacerations across the torso and the face,” Shiki began. “There’s glass shards embedded along the victim’s skin. We found a broken wine bottle a couple meters from the scene and took it in for evidence.”

Shinizawa looked up to the sky. There, amongst the black & starless sky, was the moon, bright red cuts were strewn across the surface and chunks could be seen protruding from the bloody gorges as a red liquid dripped from them.

It mimicked the victim’s wounds.

“It’s just like all the others.”

This hadn’t been his first case regarding this phenomenon—there had been countless others before this. All of them shared one common feature: The Moon. Whenever a victim died, the moon would bleed in a similar manner—and this wasn’t just an occurrence in their city of Trin. It was happening worldwide. Folk would wind up dead in the middle of the night, their wounds lining up with those of the moon.

It was the cause of mass panic—their only clue was displayed clearly above their heads.

“Has anything else turned up on scene?” Shinizawa asked.

“Not yet,” Shiki replied. “Knight’s already checking the rest of the vicinity, but if it is like the others, I don’t think he’ll find anything.”

From the corner of his eye, he could see the freezer truck driving away—the body was on it’s way back to the precinct.

“Then we’re done here,” Shinizawa stated flatly and turned back the way he came. “Get Knight back here before he causes a scene.”

“Yessir!”

...

Now begun the waiting game—the crime scene had barely a clue to go on, only the body and the presumable murder weapon.

“Oi boss, take a look at this.” An officer by the name of Wyatt Knight had rolled his chair over to Shinizawa’s desk and dropped a newspaper on it.

“I’m not in the mood to read your shitty tabloids, Knight,” the detective spat.

“Boss, it ain’t a tabloid—it’s the front page.”

That had piqued his interest, and Shinizawa decided to indulge his subordinate.

…He really wished he hadn’t.

The front page had been about the Moon last night, and like the nights before, Trin hadn’t been the only place that had gotten hit—major cities throughout the world had gotten it even worse: Esmerelda, Burgpoint, even the Nicaean capitol. The body counts had been staggering; Trin had been lucky to only have one murder.

Shiki then appeared from the hallway, file in hand. Her lips were pressed together tightly; it certainly couldn’t have been good news...

“The results came back from the lab,” she stated.

Shinizawa leaned forward in his seat. “Yea, and?”

“The victim died from the lacerations caused by the wine bottle,” then Shiki paused, as if uncertain of speaking more on it.

“Out with it, Sanaki!”

“…There were no fingerprints. It’s another dead end.”

“Damnit!”

It was just like the others…

“Jezu, Sanaki, I think you broke the boss…” he heard Wyatt comment. Shinizawa had his head against his desk, ruminating. He wanted to be left alone.

“Uhm, Detective?” Shiki tapped the top of his head to get his attention. “What do we do now?”

Truthfully, he had no idea. No fingerprints meant no leads, and no leads meant no investigation. They were stuck. Again.

“Y’know, they’re practically sending us on a wild goose chase at this point,” Wyatt complained. “One moment, we think we got something—the next, what we got is completely useless.”

“Maybe we’re just missing something,” Shiki added. “Only problem is what are we missing…”

Ring ring.

The conversation halted when the phone on Shinizawa’s desk rang. When he made no movements towards it, Wyatt had picked it up instead.

“Hellooo~ Boss’s desk.” Then Wyatt’s face went sour as he handed the phone to Shinizawa. “Yea... I think you better handle this one, boss.”

So he took the phone from him. “This is Shinizawa.” His nose scrunched up in annoyance by the time he hung up.

“Grab your shit; another body’s turned up.”

Shiki eyes widened. “What? How can that be? It’s broad daylight out!”

“Dontcha know, Sanaki?” Wyatt began as they followed the detective out into the hall. “Sometimes you can see the moon during the day.”

...

By the time they got to the new scene, a crowd had already surrounded the police tape.

“Sure did a shit job keeping bystanders at bay,” Shinizawa spat.

“What’s so wrong with a crowd? It’s like being the star of a show,” Wyatt teased.

“We’re not in some TV show,” Shiki scolded. “Can’t you be a little more serious for once?.”

“Lighten up, Sanaki. You’re getting to be as bad as the boss—”

“If you two are done with the banter,” their boss cut in as they pushed their way through the crowd, “we’ve got a job to do.”

Their latest victim had surely passed that morning as the body was still fresh; just faded in the sky had been the moon, it’s bright red gorges only partially visible this time of day.

It was just like the others.

“Lacerations just like the previous victim,” said Shiki. “Only difference is there‘s no glass in his flesh.”

“Found ourselves a pocket knife though,” came Wyatt from the distance. He was toting a plastic bag with a utility knife in it; it’d been covered in blood. “It’s gotta be our murder weapon.”

“Only one way to find out,” Shinizawa stated. “We’re heading back.”

He began walking away with Wyatt following him… only Shiki didn’t make any attempt to move. She had just stood there, her eyes transfixed to the sky.

“Sanaki, we’re leaving,” Shinizawa reaffirmed, but she didn’t move. So he approached her, grabbing her by her shoulder. “Hey, Shiki. You alright?”

She snapped out of whatever trance she had been in. “Uh—Y-yeah. Sorry, must have been lost in thought.”

“Then take it easy on the way back, can’t have you drifting on me on the job.”

“R…Right, sorry. Let’s head back.”

...

The three of them headed back to the precinct, and sent the utility knife to labs to get tested. When the results came back, they once again turned up with nothing. No prints, no leads, therefore no investigation.

“This is getting ridiculous!” Shinizawa exclaimed. “How can something that clearly had killed the victim not turn up with anything at all?! What did he do, fall on the knife?”

“Maybe he did. Musta been pretty unlucky too,” Wyatt replied, but he got shot with Shinizawa’s glare. “Whoa, it was just a joke, Boss.”

“What do we do now, detective?” Shiki asked.

Frankly, he had no idea. They had nothing to go on, just a growing pile of bodies. He was much more content to lay his head down on his desk and contemplate his life existence.

“Don’t you think this is all kind of strange?”

“Huh? Whatcha mean, Sanaki?” Wyatt asked.

“It just… it’s kind of like we’re chasing a phantom,” she explained. “It’s like you said earlier, Knight. We think we have something, but it turns out to be a dud. It all seems too clean… too coordinated, especially for a single killer to have done.”

“Think a group’s behind it, then?”

“Maybe…” but Shiki hadn’t sounded so sure.

Ring ring.

Then the phone rang again. When Shinizawa once again made no attempt at it, Shiki decided to answer the phone for him.

“Hello? Detective Shinizawa’s desk.” Then her face contorted as she handed the phone to the detective. “They’re asking for you…”

So he took the phone from her. “This is Shinizawa.” By the time he hung up the phone, a silent anger had been radiating off him.

“Grab your shit.”

“Jezu! Another one?!” Wyatt complained. “We better get paid overtime for this goose chase!”

...

The sun had just barely set by the time they arrived. The victim had been shot in the head at gunpoint judging by the size of the hole; the moon was quick to scar as soon it bore the image a single, bloodied hole much like the victim’s… it was going to be another bloody night.

“Strange,” said Shiki, “there’s no murder weapon nearby.”

“Search the vicinity then,” Shinizawa commanded. “Meet back here in ten; if you find anything before that, use the radios."

The two officers then went off on their searches, leaving the detective with the body. There’d been lack of any identification on the previous two victims, perhaps this third one might have something on him. He dug around the victim’s pocket, trying to look for a wallet of some kind.

He found something he wished he hadn’t.

In the man’s pocket had been a Peace Corps badge, inside held the striking image of their victim when they were alive.

“Boss, I found something!” he heard Wyatt’s voice over the radio. “I’m heading back your way.”

When Wyatt had arrived, the two of them shared the same look of distraught.

“Bad news, boss.” Wyatt began. “I found the gun, but it looks exactly like the ones they issue to Peace Corps officers.”

“Makes sense,” Shinizawa replied. He held up the victim’s badge. “The guy was an officer.”

“Wait—you don’t think? Boss, did he shoot himself?”

Shinizawa looked up at the sky then, a sense of foreboding came from the moon. “Something’s up, and I’m not liking the looks of it.” Then a thought came to mind. “Knight, change the channel.”

“What—?”

“On the radio, change the channel.”

So Wyatt did. They wished he hadn’t.

Frantic voices from other officers came over the intercom, confused but all saying the same thing.

“I-I need back up! My partner is injured! He… he just shot himself in the chest…!”

“We need help, there’s an officer here in critical. Our boss just… she just went berserk and shot at us…!”

“Knight… Where’s Sanaki?”

“I-I don’t know! She had gone the opposite direction I did—Whoa boss! Where are you going?!”

Shinizawa had bolted in the direction Shiki had gone. Something was wrong.

“Sanaki!!” he yelled, but no response came. “Shiki!! Where the hell are you?!”

He almost missed the alleyway in his frenzy, almost missed seeing the young woman that stood at the very end of the alley.

Shiki.

She was just standing there, motionless.

“Damnit, Shiki…!” Shinizawa gasped. “You nearly gave me a heart attack—I thought something bad happened to you.”

But no response.

“Shiki? Shiki, are you alright?”

When he approached her was when she began moving. Rigidly. Like something was controlling her body, motioning her towards Shinizawa—he then noticed something in her hand: her handgun.

“Shiki, put the gun down,” he said to her. “You’re unwell, put the gun down.”

The moon had seemed to rise some in the sky as it loomed over the area.

Watching.

Waiting.

Then suddenly, Shiki’s body stopped in its tracks. She raised her handgun.

But she didn’t point it at Shinizawa.

She pointed it at her own head.

#short story #flash fiction #writblr #suspense #supernatural #Tales from the Bug Lady #Detective Jiro Shinizawa #Shiki Sanaki #Wyatt Knight #jasper's archive

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romaxnogersav · 4 years

Text

A piece of my mind

Hi angels! I hope you are doing okay!💫

I know I’ve made quite a few update posts, mentioning how hard writing has been, and promising to do better in the future. Seeing as that has not been the case, I’ve decided that maybe the best way around this, is to say my peace and get everything off. Maybe then, when every little thingy or whatever is out of the way, I’d be able to go on.

You obviously don’t have to read this, but if you do, thank you, because recently and most importantly right now, I’m not really good. And I need to get this shit out of my system.

So, hellooo!

I am exhausted, and frustrated. I don’t want to say this, or at least start with it, but you all have no idea how many times my damn head has told me I should stop writing all along. Just delete this blog, and pretend like I haven’t erased something I love out of my life.

Every other morning, I wake up, and I go to Tumblr to see if someone hasn’t posted something I might enjoy. The first thing that pops into my head when I see how inspired others are to write, is, “You should stop. It’s evident this isn’t for you. I can see you aren’t doing anything.”

Quite honestly? It’s exhausting. I’ve lost count of the number of times this exact thought has popped into my mind, or how many tears I’ve shed over it.

I love writing, I love creating a word, not only I as the writer, can escape to when real life gets a little too complicated, but others, you all, as readers, can escape to as well. Get lost into the words, plot, and emotion (if my works even have any). The way your little heart beats at a happy, soft ending, or the frustration you get when the angst is too much. That little flip your stomach does when the smut gets a little too intense (again, not that mine is, lol. Flat as a bathroom tile), or the heartwarming feeling when you see something you love into a piece of work.

Recently, writing has been a battle. One I don’t know how to win.

In the last few weeks, I’ve been stuck on one story. I’ve got the idea outlined, I started it, and for a few weeks, the most I’ve written is 5 different drafts, with a total of maybe 3000 words in them.

3000 words that in all honesty, I hate with every fiber of my being.

I changed the idea, and I changed it, and I brainstormed it with a few friends, that by all Steve Rogers holy I love for being so sweet about it, but it was never enough. It’s not enough, because I don’t know what to do with it.

And that one idea aside, I haven’t been able to write the way that I want to, for a long time now. And it’s crushing me. It’s feeding that doubting monster that keeps telling me to just give up, with my insecurities and anxieties, and it’s a whole miracle I’m still here.

I’m afraid because I feel like it’s a matter of time before I really give up for good. Because, sadly, it’s been proved I’m a quitter.

I quitted volleyball, twice. I quitted the editing community, both photo, and video editing. I quitted writing once, back in 2017. After what, 9 months of writing?

I’m afraid history is going to repeat itself once again, and I don’t want that to happen. Because this time around, I’m enjoying what I do far more, and I don’t want to just give it up. I want to continue on because there are so many ideas swirling in my head.

I’ve said it once or twice before, that I have over 30 ideas sitting in my notes, waiting for me to browse through and work on them. I’m pretty sure a good 40% of those are either a mini-series or a series idea.

I have a few beautiful, sweet requests, waiting in my inbox. A few anons, waiting to see their requests come to life. And I feel like I’m failing them, too.

Because it seems I’ve been failing myself.

It crushes me because I want to write. I want to create, and I want to share my writing with you all. Maybe put a smile or two on someone’s face in the process.

I want to write that CEO story, the idea of which I’ve had since February.

I want to write that post Endgame canon-ish x Agent Carter fic because my heart beats for the beauty of the whole idea.

I want to write that Red Room program fic, with a pinch of the Winter Soldier in it.

I want, so, so much.

But I haven’t been able to, and I have no idea why,

I’d get a sliver of motivation and inspiration. They’d come to say hi, and a few minutes later, they are just gone again.

Or worse, they’d drop by when I know I can’t give them my attention, when I know I have other things to do.

And it’s not like I have much to do, to begin with. I’m home most of the time. 80% of my week I spend at home, doing nothing. It feels like having no routine, constantly being in one place, is the reason behind this all, but I just don’t know.

It could be a number of other things. My mom’s surgery last month, or the fact that she lost her job due to Covid way back in April. Or other things I just don’t have the power to get into.

School starts in 15 days, and it seems that we’ll be actually attending it, and not having our classes online like I would have liked. My anxiety will spark up, knowing I’m in a big environment, where the possibility of things taking a turn is as big as it gets.

I also really hoped that this summer would give me the opportunity to write as much as I can. Get lost in creating, but the universe had other plans for me as it seems. I’ve barely written, what? Maybe 20K words at best, from June, till today.

Even at this moment, as I’m writing this, getting things out of my chest, I feel a surge of inspiration. But I know that once I sit down to write, I won’t be able to write what I want, because I don’t know what that is. At least with this particular idea. Damn you, Bodyguard Steve.

Do I feel better? A little, I suppose.

Do I still feel as hopeless as I did before I wrote this? I do!

Do I want to do better, and work around my unableness (that’s not a word, I know) to write? Yes, yes I totally do!

Finally, I want to say thank you! For putting up with me, and all my update-slash-complain posts. For not being mad I don’t post, and being absolutely the sweetest.

I’m not going to promise anything other than, I’m slowly going to work into getting things to work out.

But to end this all, thank you, if you read this little, out of the blue rant!💕

#tina talks #i just wanted to be bluntly honest #and i hope i'm not too much #because i tend to turn into a whiny bitch #i just wanted to get this off my chest #because i've bottled this for a little while #and it's exhausting #i hope to get things to work out in the weeks to come #but once again #thank you for always being the sweetest

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queen-rogah · 5 years

Text

Heart of Mine (Roger Taylor x Reader) - Part Three

Summary: She's his bestfriend, her forever companion after all the years. She just wants to see his happiness, but from what happened between them, could they find the true happiness in their lives again?...

Warning: I just have to surprise y'all :) but so much angst again

This is actually the final part of this series, I'm sad :( And I'm doing some time jumps so read carefully guys :)

Word Count: 8.1k words

PART ONE | PART TWO

AUGUST 1982

It's been two years since your drummer bestfriend is engaged and you heard the wedding is far approaching this time. After their tour, maybe the wedding will push through. Brian and Mary have been with you ever since that argument with Roger before, they have seen you crumble into pieces as you reminisce his words to you, his confession that he has fallen in love with you. It's ironic really, you thought for yourself that you should be happy, celebrating and even laying in his arms right now, but it's the opposite. He's engaged to her and now you just have to let him go. You quit your job again in Biba, left your flat and decided to return back to your parent's house in Norfolk, where all of your childhood memories with Roger are, and it hurts to look back to those memories as you drive along the way. When you see the familiar street to where you have first known to ride a bike with the help of Roger.

You are welcomed in your old home in the arms of your mother, feeling so family so full again when you came back home. Your father also is grateful that you're home and you didn't know they fixed your old room just for you. You had dinner with them, shared stories that you had from London and now you're all watching movies from the television. Just like you did in the past. It's already 10 in the evening when your parents had to go to bed, but you excused yourself to roam around the house in this late hour. You got outside wearing a thick jacket and made your way to the backyard, it still have this nostalgic look from your childhood and when you approached the tree with your old swing attached to it, there you have seen it.

Forever

Your fingers ran on the engraved letters of that word, remembering how it's made. You and Roger are already teenagers at this time when you heard them that they will move in the city because of his father's job back there. You're sad to know that news, so before they have to leave, he visited you and he wrote forever on the wood with his swiss army knife that his father gave to him. You remember his words to you and he pointed on what he did,

"This word Y/N, this describes my love as a friend to you. It's forever. It will never go away, even though I will be living in the city. Our friendship is still forever."

And that reminiscent made your tear up, your hands clutching to your chest as you felt the same heartbreak over and over. What you did to him was so wrong and you're blaming yourself, taking back the words you throw at him. You love him. You loved him. You returned inside the house, walking upstairs to your room and change to some comfortable clothes to sleep on. You lay there, staring at the blank ceiling until you fell in your slumber.

...

SEPTEMBER 1982

Queen ended the tour as they came back home again. Roger is still thinking about the same day where he said his love to you. He doesn't know what to feel about what you're feeling before, and he can't compare the empty emotions you're carrying as you still have to see them together. The engaged couple. Roger didn't know you have moved to your parents, only Brian and Mary knew what's happening. So when he tried to call your house number back in your flat, nobody is answering. And that is making him nervous.

"Why isn't she answering my fucking calls?." Roger said in his gritted teeth and angrily put the phone down. He's in this payphone, waiting for you to pick your phone up. Little did he know nobody is now living there, not a single soul.

"Rog, you okay?." Brian asks him as he turn around, facing his bandmate, the man that has luckily touched you. He took a deep breath when he remembered that again.

"Yeah, it's just...it's strange that Y/N isn't answering my calls. I want to talk to her." Roger said, his voice getting softer when your name fell from his lips again.

Brian wants to say everything to him that you're not living anymore in your apartment as you try to move on, he wants to keep his mouth shut for you to be away from Roger. But, "Rog, she moved out from her place..." Brian said, sighing deeply that he said that to Roger. The person that is forbidden to know where you are.

"What? What do you fucking mean moved out? She's not living in her flat anymore?." Roger asked again, taking steps closer to Brian.

"Yes Rog, she's not living there anymore." Brian softly replied.

"Do you...do you know where she is now?." Roger pleaded for Brian to answer him. Brian wanted to but he kept his mouth shut and stare at the ground. Then Roger suddenly gripped his collar and pinned him against the car where the other boys and their girlfriends were interrupted in their small talks and got started on the commotion that is going on between Roger and Brian. Roger was fuming in anger as he gripped his collar tighter.

"Don't fucking give me that silence when we are talking about her! I don't care if she slept with you and you know what's going on in her life but that doesn't mean you can keep her away from me! I am her friend ever since we're little, you can't just fucking do that to me!." Roger shouted at Brian who is shaking his head, telling Roger that he's wrong.

The boys soon broke away the two and gripped Roger's shoulder, trying to calm him down. His girlfriend, Dominique is strangely looking at him as he dropped his eyes at her and soon gone soft, realizing that he looked like a madman in front of all his friends.

"Roger, I'm just trying to protect her. I promised her that I won't ever say to you where she is." Brian explained and Roger shakes his head.

"Bullshit." Roger spits, trying to break away from John's grip.

"It's true! Ask Mary about it!." Brian raised his voice at him and pointed at Mary who is just standing there in silence. She gave Brian a serious look that why is she involved in the argument.

"Brian is saying the truth Rog, she just want peace and she wants to get away from this place. She wanted to protect herself from you...about what happened." Mary said and that made Roger sigh deeply and John let him go. He made his way towards his girlfriend's arms as she comforted him. Mary and Brian giving each other's look.

"But please...tell me where she is." Roger still asked him. Brian looked at Mary as she sighs, finally nodding her head. Wanting to say everything to Roger. "Please..." Roger again pleads.

"She's back in Norfolk..." Mary already told him as Brian's about to open his mouth. And what Mary said made Roger drop his jaw and suck in a breath.

"Norfolk? She's back home?."

"Now Roger, we told you where she is and can you promise us you won't go to her and ask for an apology or other shit. We don't want to hear her argue with us anymore because of this." Brian said, staring directly at Roger.

"Brian...I--I just have to see her..." Roger said, his voice cracking a bit. He really misses you, he misses how you are his number one bestfriend and he misses how you believed and supported him since the very beginning of his career. He misses all of you.

"Rog, please...you have to promise us. If she will call us then we'll tell you about her. Just respect her privacy for now. She needs it." Mary said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Roger won't do anything but to sigh and nod his head, agreeing to the two. The argument ended as they all returned to their cars and drive away. Going back to their own places. Roger went back home alone, saying to his girlfriend that he needs some alone time. He laid in his bed, thinking nothing but you. He never thought you're going back home to where you've met him, where the first memories with him are made. He still know your exact address in Norfolk and the house number. Maybe she's staying to her parent's. So Roger took the telephone and dialed the number of her old house, waiting for someone to call in this late hour.

Then seconds passed, someone picked it up, "Hello?."

It's your voice, from Roger's phone.

Roger was speechless when he heard your voice again. Smiling softly when you're repeating the same hello from the other line. He don't want to say anything, he just wants to hear your voice.

"Hellooo? I think you got the wrong number mister...or miss. I'm sorry." You rambled those words and hanged up, letting Roger go back in reality again. He just lets you speak there and nothing else.

...

You felt weird in that call, especially when the time is already midnight. So you quickly put the phone down and also turn the television off. You made your way towards your room and stare at the window. Feeling the cold air from outside. It's been a month and days since you're now living with your parents. And that phone call earlier is strange because it's your first time to get a call like that, and you knew that nobody would get someone's house number and that made you wonder...

Is it Roger who's behind that call?

"Roger? He doesn't know that I'm here in Norfolk and he'll just call in the old number we got that he knew so much. Too impossible." You sarcastically said to your thoughts earlier and head to your bed, lying on it and try to find your sleep that you deserve.

Weeks later, Brian soon called you and that made you happy that you have heard John's, Freddie's and Mary's voice again. Roger wasn't there but the conversation with Brian lead into something serious, "Y/N, before I will say anything...I'm sorry for this already."

"Well spit it out May."

"Weeks earlier, me and Roger had an argument that is associated with you. He kept asking me and Mary where you actually are because he kept calling you in your phone back in your place here in London..." Brian said and your heart is beating fast. Anxiety.

"And then what did you say to him?." You asked, your fingers looping around the telephone line to reduce your anxiety.

"We said it Y/N. Me and Mary said where you are--"

And you suddenly cut him off, "Brian! That's suppose to be a promise! Even to Mary, you both kept that promise you will never ever say anything to Roger! You--"

"--but Y/N! I explained to him that he will not go to you even though he knows where you are. And he respects your privacy back there, so after all these weeks, he didn't go there to you. He will never." Brian said. And now it all made sense, the phone call that evening is really Roger. He already knew where you are and now you don't know what will happen next.

"So what now Brian?." You ask, your eyes still glued on the wall in front of you. Showing no emotion since your emotion got tired out because of Roger.

"He won't go there, I promise..." Brian said and your heart dropped when someone barged in the room to just see your father, holding a bag of groceries and others. You've become more nervous ever since Roger knew where you are.

"I'm gonna go Bri, I miss you." You said quietly on the phone and Brian said that back before hanging up.

"Who is it you're talking to darling?." Your father asked from the kitchen then came his way here in the living room, sitting on the couch.

"Oh, it's Brian. We're just talking about something important." You rambled off those words, hands still shaking in anxiety.

"What's important dear is...you're always keeping away that topic when we are talking about it. What is it about that you and Brian are talking about? You don't have to hide anything from me and your mother." He said and that made your heart drop, staring at the ground now. You felt guilty that your parents kept you in when you left London, and they don't know the reason behind it.

"I'm sorry Dad...it's just..." You stammer, your hands knotted together. "I left because of Roger..."

"Roger? You two supposed to be--"

"Bestfriends? Yeah, we still are. But there's this barrier between us, that kept us from doing anything that we did when we are so close. That's his career, his other friends, the people that loved him, his girlfriend and me...being hopelessly in love with him." You said. Tears forming around your eyes. Your father didn't said anything but complete silence. He didn't expected you to be in love with him.

"What's wrong with you in love with Roger? Isn't that a good thing?." Your father asked and you just let out a chuckle, wiping away your small tears.

"It's not Dad because he's finally engaged, maybe married soon. And that's the thing I left there because if I'm still there Dad, I keep running to him. Even though he already confessed to me that he loves me too, but I just let him go." You cried again, remembering the words he said to you.

"You let him go because there's someone who loves him too and that's his...fiancee." Your father asked and you nod your head in response. You can't speak or talk about that anymore as you feel you're having an anxiety attack again. You felt your father stood up from the couch and watch him made his way to his record player, pulling out some of his vinyl on his shelf. Then he played that record, sending chills down your spine.

Your father used to do this when you're sad or upset when you're little and play only one song that will change your emotions. You remember him taking you in his huge arms and dance until evening. And that song, that particular song...

"Hooked on a feeling, Blue Swede." You laughed, wiping your tears again. When your father holds out his hand to you, you happily took it as he pulls you close. Swaying slowly on the song. When the chorus came, he suddenly spins you and you let out a laugh. Feeling your heart so full again.

"I love you Dad. Thank you for everything..." You said to him, letting him in a hug. He kisses your temple and soon continue to dance with you again, and changing some more songs to dance to until your mother came home and joins in.

You made a right choice in going home. This is what a home should be.

...

DECEMBER 1982

"It's Christmas Eve people!."

You shouted through the house as your parents smiled at you when you entered the kitchen. Watching them make some Christmas cookies and other foods. You also made your signature dish that is meatloaf, that you love so much to do, and also some pastas. You have missed going on huge Christmas parties that is hosted by Freddie before, going around to meet new people and soon be drunk in the end of the night. But now it's different, from loud parties to family traditions.

You have watched the television and soon see a channel where they are interviewing Brian and Roger, talking about tour and music and that glued you on this couch to watch it.

You listened to the both of them as they talk about everything about their career and how fun it is to do tours for almost around the world. Your eyes are just looking at Roger who looked very happy and healthy as he uncontrollably smiles on camera and to Brian.

"So you're now watching him on television." Your father suddenly spoke that made you jolt in surprise.

"Oh god Dad don't ever sneak around like that, and this just came up, maybe it's not too bad to watch him talk. It's been months since I ever heard of him, I just...missed him." You said. Still hearing him talk through the television. You just want to drive back to London and say sorry to him, but it's not just that easy.

"I'm not stopping you in going back to London dear. That place has been your second home since you're in college until you become an adult. But here in Norfolk, this is always your first home and you can come home here anytime." He said and wrapped you inside his arms. You have missed London too, and your flat in the urban streets, your neighbors that didn't stopped on asking you about Queen and the non-stop parties at night.

You celebrated Christmas happily with your parents, Christmas songs quietly playing around the room. You also arranged a New Year's party with your neighbors and some old friends of yours in town and decorated the house in the occasion. Wines and Champagne are all around and also gold dresses; since it's the motif of the party, and you didn't end the party with a polaroid picture with your friends and most importantly, with your parents.

...

MAY 1984

You dropped your things on the floor, looking around this familiar place again that made you smile and sigh in belief. You're back again in your place here in London and you have missed everything you had here. For two years that you stayed in your parent's house, you kind of used to eating your mother's dishes back home and your father's music playing on his record player. You fixed your things again in order here in your place and soon called Mary on the phone as you excitedly waited for her to answer.

"Hello?." She finally picked up and you can't help but to smile widely when you heard her again.

"Hi Mary..." You greeted and now she's freaking out on the phone.

"Y/N? Oh god you finally called! After months that you never called me! How are you? How's Norfolk by now?." She asks and that made you giggle. She thought you're still in Norfolk and that is just a huge surprise to her.

"Actually, I'm back here at my place in London again. You know, it's been two years and I've missed the city so much. Even you..." You said.

"You're back in London? This is just the worst timing ever. I'm here in Manchester visiting some of my friends." She groaned and that made you frown.

"Oh what a load of bollocks, I had scheduled us to go to a pub so that we can talk about life or anything." You sadly said to her but she tried to comfort you.

"No, don't worry. Maybe I'll be home by two days--"

"Just make sure you'll be here by two days." You cut her off as she chuckled on the other line.

"I promise Y/N. See you soon!."

"See you soon!." You greeted back and put the phone down. And then you called someone again and I think he really need to know that you're back here again. "Hey Brian..."

"Y/N! God I missed you love! It's been a while!." He said and you smile hardly again.

"I missed you too Bri and actually I'm here to say that I'm back in London again, maybe you can catch up with me since I have never seen you in two years." You said, your fingers twirling around the telephone line.

"Well what about tomorrow? We'll be filming a music video in Limehouse Studios for the latest single. You can come by...if you'd like." He said and that made you a tad bit nervous to see the boys again.

But you said, "Yeah sure Bri, I'll come by. Just tell me what time will be it." You smiled.

Brian told you that they'll be filming by 9 in the tomorrow morning since they will have this makeover and that made you excited on their music video. And now the next day came, you took a shower by 7 and left your flat just before 9. You have remembered driving by Limehouse Studios and when you finally see the huge building of the studio, you parked your car and put on your sunglasses. You stood in front of this huge building, doubting that you're here because you will see Roger again, after no phone calls and no meetings with him for two years.

You made your way inside the studio, finding some of the familiar Queen management team and when you entered a room with a set of a living room, a kitchen and a bedroom, like some kind of a sitcom, you never knew this would be the set of the music video.

Then someone suddenly gripped your shoulder and turn you around, to see Freddie wearing that pink top, leather skirt and tights, together with black pumps, "Y/N darling! You're here!." He exclaims and wrapped you in his arms, also lifting you off your feet and twirl you around.

"Oh gosh Freddie! It's nice to see you too!." You giggled and then he puts you down, planting a kiss on your cheeks. You took off your sunglasses as you eyed him up and down on the outfit. "Damn Freddie..." You laughed at his outfit.

"What darling, I look good right? Better than the boys." He said, feeling so flamboyant again as he flips his imaginary long hair. And you suddenly missed his long hair before.

"Just wait 'till I see them too. Lead me to them." You playfully pushed him and he holds your hand, leading you to a room as he pushed the doors open, seeing some busy people going around holding some props and other clothings.

"Brian?!." You laughed when you see him, wearing that pink sleeping gown, his curly hair filled with colorful curlers and that slippers, those damn slippers.

"Y/N! You're already here!." Brian said, pulling you in a warm hug. Smelling that perfume he had and also feeling his necklaces around his neck.

"It's good to see you all. Where's Deacy?." You asked and Brian pointed at him sitting on one of the couches, wearing a grandma looking clothes. He gave you the sweetest smile you love so much and joined him in the couch, hugging him also. You shared some stories with Deacy, until you heard the door opened again to see him.

"Ah Roger! Look at you!." Freddie said and you looked at him standing at the entrance as you try to hide a smile, so you just blush here beside Deacy.

He's wearing that schoolgirl outfit, with yellow and pink tie, a short fucking skirt and knee high socks, with all black shoes. And he's on his full get-up right now, unlike the other boys, he's now wearing his blonde wig with pigtails and black and white bows. He seriously looked good as a girl. And you envy him.

You didn't say a word when he see you here beside Deacy but you see his facial expressions changed as a smile on his face lit up, "Y/N..." He sighed, taking steps close to you.

You stood up from the couch and smiled at him, "Hi Rog." You said, before you said another word, he suddenly pulled you in a tight hug, his arms around you. You have felt all his emotions right now, so you hugged him back and stayed like that in seconds. When you both pull away from the hug, he cupped your face as you start to cry in front of him.

"I-I'm sorry Roger." You gave him a sad smile and he shake his head at you. He didn't say anything, but you notice him leaning closer to you but someone interrupted the moment when they are now calling the boys to ready and shoot the music video. Roger came back to reality and took a step back from you, he remembered he's still with his girlfriend that she loves him and now he's here, falling in his own bestfriend again.

"We'll talk later." You gave him a reassuring smile as you let him go. You still followed to go outside to finally see them in order, all of them practicing their choreography. And when the music comes in, you watched them one by one do the scenes dresses in drag. And filmed some other scenes again.

Their photographer took a polaroid of them dresses in drag as they are assembled in that couch, and you approached the photographer, "Can I see the picture?." You asked and she nodded her head, giving you two photographs.

You smiled at the photographs as they look so good in their dresses and they really looked like real women, and the feelings that Roger said to you earlier that them dressing in drag is his idea. You stifled a laugh at Deacy who kept a straight angry face on both photographs. He looked cute.

"I looked good right?." You jumped in surprise when Roger suddenly spoke from beside you, also looking at the polaroid inside your hands.

"Yeah, you are. You looked all so good." You chuckled, looking up at him. He have this same happy smile that you have missed looking at. "I should've return this to the photographer--"

"It's yours." Roger said and that made you stop in your tracks.

"What? It's mine now?." You asked, breaking a smile again.

"Nadia, the photographer see you smiling at the photo, and she said to me that you should keep it. She knows you loved her photograph." Roger said and you pull him in a hug again.

"Thank you for this and for Nadia too. She took the picture so perfect, I will keep this forever." You said and put the polaroids inside your bag. "How's Dominique?." You asked him.

"She's fine. She actually got an asthma attack because of me--"

"--what?! You?." You shouted at him.

"I was always smoking back at our house and I didn't know she had an asthma. God I was so guilty and stopped smoking from that day." He said.

"Don't ever smoke in the house Taylor, how many time would I say that to you. Even when we're still neighbors before, I really hate when you light up a cigarette in my place before and good thing you finally quit your smoking habit. It could kill you." You said, more like a mother to him.

"I understand...mother." He teased as he smirks at you. You gave him a side eye on his comment as you punched his bicep, laughing as you did it.

"Fuck off Rog." You laughed.

...

Then weeks later, Freddie asked the boys and also you to come by his place and you all sat on the couches in this room, just looking at Freddie pacing around with a cigarette on his hand, explaining everything he's thinking and having a problem about. It's the music video they did, the thing that they dresses in drag, MTV banned the video. And you all are astonished, shocked and felt so ridiculous on that act.

"MTV banned our video." Freddie sarcastically said, taking a drag on his cigarette. You watch Paul by the corner letting out a scowl, looking so damn ridiculous too. "The youth of America. We helped give birth to MTV."

"It's America. They're Puritans in public, perverts in private." Brian also said in sarcasm.

"Why did they just do that? With just one video that is not that vulgar to see, they fucking banned it. It's a bloody shit show!." You argued and rolled your eyes. Since the video is just your favorite one of them, you're on their side. Everytime.

"I'm never touring in the U.S. again." Freddie blurted out and you looked at him. He chuckles dryly and puts his cigarette on the ashtray, "And I'm the one being blamed for it."

You look down at the ground when he brought that up. You have seen the tabloids after that video, they really brought Freddie up to be the wrong one. He's always the one that is being thrown some shitty words of the band. And your heart breaks when you see him frown, you hated when you see him frown.

"Not you, dear...whose idea, I believe, it was to dress up in drag." Freddie said to Roger who looked away from him, jaw clenching.

"And not you..." He also said to Brian who's looking so deranged and still shocked.

"Not even you, who wrote the bloody thing." He said to Deacy who is tapping his fingers on his lips. "No. Crazy, cross-dressing Freddie. Freddie the freak. Freddie the fag." He raised his voice, the tone is full of poison that really hurt him so much. Those comments from the media and all over the tabloids. All that they see is on the physical traits of that person, they didn't know he have the strongest emotion.

Then Freddie suddenly said, "I'm tired of touring. Aren't you? Album, tour, album, tour. I want to do something different." He said, looking back at all of you here sitting before him.

You didn't like where this is heading now.

"We're a band. That's what bands do. Album, tour, album, tour." Brian defended their side from Freddie. Your heart is beating so fast on what they are talking about now.

"Well, I need a break. I'm sick of it." Freddie easily said and you heard Paul chuckle from the corner. You feel that there's something that Paul is hiding, together with Freddie.

"Freddie, why are you doing this? This isn't the future of Queen." You spoke and he looked at you, his eyes with dark bags and formed wrinkles on his forehead. He really looked tired.

"Darling, you don't know the future of Queen. I don't even know the future of Queen!." He said and that broke your heart. He's letting go and you can't believe it's happening.

"What are you saying, Freddie?." Deacy asked, his hand nervously playing on his chin while looking at the ground.

Freddie turn around again, facing at the window in front of him, "I've signed a deal with CBS Records." He said and that made you all look at him, feeling so shocked on what he did. Without any announcement or whatsoever, he said that easily.

"You've done what?." Roger asked, finally speaking in his silence.

"Without telling us?." Brian also said, his body jerking towards Freddie. You can't contain this tension they had, and then you have this reminiscent again of Brian and Roger having the same faces when Tim left Smile. And now, this is happening.

"Look, I'm not saying we won't record or ever tour again. Queen will go on. But I need to do something different." Freddie said, taking a drag on his new cigarette.

All of you stayed silent, Brian and Roger still have glares at Freddie while Deacy is looking at the ground, feeling so empty and even angry on the inside.

"Do you know what I mean? I need to grow." Freddie stammers and then suddenly pointed at Deacy who's being silent beside you, "What's the song? Fly away?."

"Spread my wings and fly away." Deacy responded fast to him as Freddie smiles, remembering the song that Deacy wrote. And now he's leaving contexts.

"Yes, Spread my wings and fly away." Freddie said and you see Deacy giving him a small smile and looked down on the ground again.

"A solo album?." Brian asked.

"Two, actually. Back to back." Paul smugly said and that made you roll your eyes, even Brian and Roger did it.

"Another word out of you...and I'll throw you out the bloody window." Roger said in so much anger and irritation to Paul as he just smirks. You pat Roger's shoulder to comfort him. They're getting so frustrated right now.

"But that's years, Freddie. I mean...that'll take years." Brian said, trying to change Freddie's mind.

"Ye of little faith." Freddie gave us a smile again and took a drag on his cigarette. Then Roger suddenly stood up from his seat, looking at Freddie.

"How much?." Roger asked.

Freddie didn't listened at first

"What did they pay you?."

No answer.

"I wanna know how much they paid you!?." Roger raised his voice and now you stood up on the couch, feeling the anger from Roger.

"4 million dollars!." Freddie shouted back and that silenced Roger, and to all of you too. That's a lot of money. The whole band scoffs and never believing their frontman having a deal of 4 million. Without saying anything else.

"That's more than any Queen deal." Deacy spoke and that made you sigh because it's the truth. They are now having mixed feelings and emotions.

"Look, the routine is killing us. I mean, you must all want a break from all the arguments. I mean, whose song gets on the album, whose song's the single, who wrote what, who gets a bigger slice of the royalties, what's on the B-side, all of it. You must need a break." Freddie explained, but the band still say no. They don't care about what is Freddie is talking about, all that they care is they want to keep moving. Keep Queen alive.

"Freddie, we're a family--" Brian said

"--No, we're not! We're not a family! You've got families, children, wives. What have I got?." Freddie speaks out of his frustrations. And those words, finally broke your heart. Even to the others. Especially Deacy who is just sitting silently.

"You've got $4 million. Perhaps you can buy yourself a family." Deacy said in much sarcasm in his voice and that shocked you too. He really brought it out.

"I won't compromise my vision any longer." Freddie said, put the cigarette on the ashtray again.

And then Roger puts his hands on his hips, "Compromise? Are you joking? You were working at Heathrow before we gave you a chance." He said and that lost Freddie as he glared at Roger.

"And without me...you'd be a dentist...drumming 12/8-time blues at the weekend at the Crown and Anchor." Freddie said and then faced Brian too, "And you. Well, you would be Dr. Brian May, author of a fascinating dissertation on the cosmos...that no one ever reads."

Brian felt offended. All of them. Then Freddie looked at Deacy, "And Deacy, for the life of me...nothing comes to mind." Freddie shakes his head and Deacy looked up at him.

"I studied electrical engineering. Does that meet your standard?." Deacy said in sarcasm, looking straight at Freddie.

And then he replied, "Perfect." He gave Deacy a fake smile.

"You just killed Queen." Roger spits at Freddie who just wants to leave the room, but he stopped when he heard that from Roger.

"Oh, give it a kiss one day. She might wake up." Freddie smirks and turn his head again.

"You need us, Freddie. More than you know." Brian said and that made Freddie scoff.

"I don't need anyone." He said and finally left the room. Paul followed behind, pats Roger's back but he tried to push him away. Glaring at the two who's leaving the room. You can't speak to what is happening but you all just sat on the couch, contemplating what just happened.

...

1985

Freddie have released his solo career and you've been listening to it non-stop back in your place. You're still supporting him even though you witnessed the biggest argument of Queen before. Freddie also visited you days earlier and said his sorry, but you have said to him that you're not the one he would have been sorry for but he should be sorry to the boys that he let them down.

You're also shocked that Roger didn't pushed his wedding to Dominique as they still stay engaged for almost three years now. But nothing is rushing them both as you just waited for some news. All that you just gather is the other boys are busy with their families, especially Deacy with Veronica and their children. You have visited them, seeing their children. Finally meeting their aunt, as Deacy called you that.

Then months later, their manager Jim Beach, called them in for a meeting. It's a right timing that Brian got the call from Jim, you're with him, having a small talk in his place. Brian was hesitate to reply back, that's why he just put the phone down.

"Freddie wants to talk to us." Brian said.

"And why don't you?." You asked.

That question made him feel bad, so that's why he rang the other boys that they should be in Jim's office this instant. Brian tagged you along again and drive to the office, only seeing Roger and Deacy coming out from their cars and made their way to the floor where Jim is. And when they pushed the door open, you all see Freddie sitting on one of the seats already, waiting for someone to show up. He's early. So unusual.

"Hi, guys." Jim said and they nod their heads.

"Jim." Brian said as you all entered the room. The three boys sat in front of Freddie who is looking too tired. And you just sat by the corner, watching them to speak after all that happened between them.

"If anybody wants any tea, coffee...bladed weapons. Just ask. So... who wants to go first?." Jim asked and you suck in a breath.

"I'll start." Freddie spoke and they listened to him, "I've been hideous. I know that, and--I deserve your fury. I've been conceited...selfish. Well, an asshole, basically."

"Strong beginning." Roger sarcastically said.

"Look, I'm happy to strip off my shirt and flagellate myself before you. Or rather, I could ask you a simple question." Freddie said, also looking at you from the corner.

"I'm good with the flagellation." Roger said again. You just want to go to Roger and let Freddie speak as he listens.

"What's it gonna take for you all to forgive me?." Freddie sighs.

You hope for a better answer from the boys until Brian came talking now, "Is that what you want, Freddie? I forgive you. Is that it? Can we go now?." He said but you can see Freddir shaking his head.

"No." Freddie said, making Brian fell quiet. "I went to Munich. I hired a bunch of guys. I told them exactly what I wanted them to do...and the problem was...they did it." He said and that stunned the band, knowing everything that happened on Freddie doing his solo career.

"No pushback from Roger. None of your rewrites. None of his funny looks. I need you. And you need me. Let's face it. We're not bad for four aging queens. So, um, go ahead. Name your terms." Freddie waited for them to speak and the three of them looked at each other.

Could you give us a moment, please, Fred?." Brian asks and Freddie looked at the ground, making his way out of the room, shooting a smile at you as he leaves. What he did made Roger feel shocked because that's very un-Freddie like, he's really very unusual today.

And then minutes later of discussing something you can't understand them talking about since it's none of your business and it's a band discussion. And when they are done, Deacy went outside to call Freddie and Jim as they both entered again in the room. Freddie sat on his chair as he prepare himself to listen.

"We decided...What did we decide?." Roger started again, looking at the others. Brian rolled his eyes and then Deacy came to speak.

"From now on...every song, no matter who wrote it, music, lyrics...it's by Queen. Not one of us, just Queen. All the money, all the credits, split four ways evenly." Deacy said.

"Done." Freddie quickly replied and you smiled in belief. Seeing that the missing puzzle piece of Queen is coming to complete it all again.

"We have a problem with the people around you." Roger said, hinting on the one and only Paul Prenter.

"Paul is out. I fired him." Freddie replied and that shocked you. Roger looking back at you as he shot you a smile, that Paul is out. You just want to hug him there and all of the boys that the snake of the band is fucking out.

"On what pretext?." Brian asked him.

"Villainy." Freddie rolled his eyes. You are in relief. "I should've trusted Y/N on Paul's games from the beginning. She tried to explain everything to me before."

"Fred, that's why I'm telling you that, I have this weird aura of him before." You said and he laughs.

"Okay, what else?." Roger asked Freddie but Jim came in the conversation.

"Bob Geldof. I called to convince him to squeeze you guys into the lineup for the Live Aid concert. But he wants an answer now." He said and that made your heart jump. Queen at the Live Aid with all of the other iconic artists in this generation. They should say yes.

"You have to make a decision. Every ticket's already sold. 100,000 people at Wembley, 100,000 people at JFK Stadium in Philadelphia. A global TV audience around the world of 150 countries, 13 satellites." Jim goes on about Live Aid. All of you in this room is surprised that they wanted Queen in the lineup so bad that they should just say yes.

"And the Olympics...they only had three satellites." Jim added.

"We haven't played together in years. It's kinda suicide to play again...for the first time in front of millions." Roger said.

"Try over 1.5 billion." Brian added and he scoffs, "Who are these four dinosaurs? Where's Madonna?." He mocked his words but that made you stifle a laugh.

"It's a 20-minute set. Everyone gets the same. Jagger, Bowie, Elton, McCartney, The Who, Led Zeppelin, Phil Collins, REO Speedwagon, Bob Dylan..." Jim told them, with a paper on his hand about Live Aid and the performers.

"Certainly good company." Roger uttered.

"Anybody who is anybody is doing this concert." Jim remarked, putting the paper down on his desk.

"Look. All I know...is that if we wake up the day after this concert... and we didn't do our part...we're going to regret it till the day we die. Please." Freddie said and that made the boys looked back at him in guilt. They've been too cold to him lately and in doing this performance, it can make sure that Queen is alive again.

...

JULY 1985

You have arrived at Wembley where the Live Aid will be happening and the staffs helped you to go backstage and meet the boys. You saw them having a photoshoot as the cameras are flashing around. When Roger suddenly saw you standing behind the press, he flashes you a smile and pulled you in a huge hug.

"So, this is it. It's Live Aid." You said to him and he chuckles. "I've never seen Freddie so happy." You added, looking back at Freddie speaking to somebody.

"He's really happy, so am I." He said and embraced him again. You also spoke to the other boys until you all headed to their trailer, sitting and talking about life. You reminisce the times when Queen is still not that popular, just like this scene, only the band and you sitting at the corner. You have remembered being mistaken as the band's groupie but you're not. You're the person that watched them grow and seeing them step into the limelight of music.

Then someone knocked on the trailer door, Brian opening it to see Mary and her new boyfriend David standing before us. You smiled to see her new flame, since she's just rambling him to you.

"Hello Mary!." Brian greeted her.

"Hi, Brian! We just came to wish you good luck." She said and see you here, waving you as you also waved back.

"Hello, my love." Freddie spoke to her, planting a kiss on her cheek. Your heart still flutters seeing them that intimate but you also miss them together like you always see before. And then a man came from beside Mary and David too, then you saw Freddie flash a smile on him. "Mary, David...this is Jim." He said to them and you gasp here, so this is Jim. Freddie's lover.

"It's nice to meet you." Mary said, shaking hands with him.

After those sudden meet-up with new people are will be soon be connected with you again, the staff called in that the band will be on in a few minutes. So, you all left the trailer and Roger stood beside you.

"Daddy!."

You whip your head to see a boy, running up to Roger beside you as he hugged him. You watch them in awe and at the same time shocked because...Roger had a kid.

"Roger...is this--"

"His name's Felix." He said to you, smiling widely. "Hey, this is your aunt Y/N who I'm talking about before..."

And the way your heart melts that Roger is telling his son about you, "Hey Felix." You crouched down, holding his cute little hand. His eyes are like his father's and you loved it so much.

He just shyly wave his hand at you as he hold on his father's hand, chuckling in his cute gesture. You carried Felix by your waist as you played with him, also dancing him around as he laughs in delight. And suddenly, someone took a polaroid picture of you to see it's Mary holding it.

"Hey! You should give us a start also if you take a picture!." You laughed. She gave you the picture to see you, with the biggest smile on your face while looking at Felix, laughing. You smiled at the photograph, because this is what you see in the future, you having a child...wishing that Roger would be the father. But no, you're not meant for each other. This is what fate gave you.

You put Felix down as he came to his father again. You took the polaroid to Mary as you hide it in the pocket of your jacket. You, Mary, David and Jim made your way to the side of the stage, looking at the huge crowd waiting for the next act. You all have this same excited feeling on seeing them perform again, in front of thousands and millions of people watching and singing along.

You watch the boys shake off their fears and Freddie who is heavily breathing. And when the announcer called them that they'll be up in one minute, you start collect yourself.

Her Majesty! Queen!

And you all let out a shout and clap for them as they entered the stage, waving at the crowd. You see them in much joy that they are back on stage again. You, you're far more proud of them. You will remember every single second of this iconic day. Forever.

#roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor

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rachelstwomoms · 5 years

Text

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU: Rachel’s Birthday (Part 1/?)

Sera is a big part of this AU, so if you want to know a little more about her character before reading this story, check her profile out!

Originally written as a birthday gift for @ohdoeadeer .

------------------------------

Stupid.

The birthday girl sits alone, face twisted into a deep scowl, watching her party from her from her spot on the edge of the sofa. Some of her classmates are crowded around the kitchen counters where the party snacks lay out in big bowls, grabbing handfuls of cheese-flavored chips, bright orange dust sticking to fingertips still wet from the pool. She can’t see into the backyard from the living room, but she can hear the boys howling and whooping wildly, playing some kind of obnoxious game that’s causing a lot of splashing. A few of her friends are taking a break from swimming and are watching her from the next room. Whispering. And from the way they keep glancing towards her practically every other word, it’s obvious that they’re talking about her.

Stupid.

Two girls break from their circle and slowly, cautiously come her way.

So she narrows her eyes, locks her jaw in a stiff frown and glares daggers at them. Daring them to take another step. When they freeze, changing their minds and quickly sitting back down, she smirks in satisfaction.

This party is stupid.

Her back itches and she twitches. Tilting her head backwards, she shakes out her long, blonde hair from where it was sticking to her shoulders due to a combination of chlorine, sunscreen and mid-July heat. Sighing and crossing her arms tightly across her chest, she presses herself deeper into the sofa cushions.

It’s not like she expected her party to pause for her.

It’s just really… no, hella unfair and annoying that everyone else gets to be happy and have a great time when this is the worst day of her life.

She wonders how much longer she has until Chloe and Maxine come looking for her.

“Rachel! Where are you?”

Speak of the devils.

Chloe, dripping wet and tracking water across the hardwood floors, spots her first and comes bounding over. Maxine, wrapped like a burrito in her oversized bath towel, trails close behind.

“What are you doing in here?” Chloe plops herself down on the sofa right next to Rachel. “You said you would be right back and that was ages ago. What were you doing?”

Rachel gives a short shrug and gestures to the half-empty cup of orange soda on the coffee table. “I was thirsty.”

“Oh, sweet!” Chloe grabs the cup and takes a swig, then passes it over to Maxine, who first peers inside at the liquid before taking a small sip too. “Anyways, you took forever so Maxine and I finished the game by ourselves.”

“We did wait for you,” Maxine insists, “but you never came back.”

“So, after you left, we found a secret underwater passageway that led us straight into enemy territory!” Chloe explains. “They didn’t see us coming, so we were able to sneak up and ambush them. They put up a good fight but, alas, they were no match for Captain Bluebeard and Long Max Silver!”

Smiling, Maxine frees one of her hands and holds up something shiny and round. “We got the amulet back.”

“Yeah, no thanks to somebody who abandoned her crew in their time of need,” Chloe teases, expecting a snarky comeback or a playful shove on the shoulder like usual. It never comes. Actually, it doesn’t even look like her friend’s paying attention. She seems to be in a strange sort of mood all of a sudden. Chloe waves a hand in front of Rachel’s face. “Hellooo? Earth to Rachel.”

“Are you okay?” Maxine starts to worry.

Rachel heaves an agitated sigh. “This party hella sucks.”

Chloe and Maxine share an equally confused, equally concerned look. After a moment, Chloe clears her throat and speaks in a lighthearted tone, trying to bring Rachel out of her funk. “Well, anyways, Rose told us to come get you. It’s time for cake!”

Although Rachel doesn’t give a verbal response, she allows her friends to drag her into the dining room where most of the party guests have gathered. Maxine leads Rachel by the hand to the empty chair at the head of the table and tells her to sit. Rose carries a pretty double-tiered cake from the kitchen over to the dining table, eliciting various noises of awe and excitement from Rachel’s sugar craving classmates. Already a skilled little actress, Rachel puts on her most convincing look of disinterest and boredom.

“All right, kids, step back please,” James says, clearing a small opening so he can reach the cake. He pulls out a matchbook from his pocket and he and Rose start to light the candles. It takes four matches and over a minute for the pair of them to get all twelve lit. Red, blue, yellow and pink wax melt into unappetizing puddles on the frosting, and Rose encourages everyone to hurry and start the birthday song while there are still candles left.

Chloe grins and starts waving her hands like the conductor of some grand orchestra, and Maxine and the other kids all start to sing.

------------------------------

Rachel the Pirate Queen is on a very important mission, entrusted by Captain Bluebeard herself. She only has a few minutes to return to their trusty ship, the Bane of Arcadia, before the tides change and it becomes impossible to reach the island tonight. If they don’t, it will be too late to reclaim their stolen treasure, and worse, their amulet will be in the hands of the enemy!

The most practical way to access the island is by swimming through a dark, treacherous underwater cave. But the entrance is always under heavy surveillance by evil mermaid guardians.

And Rachel has a bunch of old mermaid dolls that would be totally perfect for their game.

The newly turned twelve year old leaps up the stairs two at a time and bursts into her bedroom, immediately opening her closet and tearing its contents apart. Rose will probably get mad at her later for making a mess, but she can deal with that when the time comes. Right now she has to find those mermaids. After going through the closet without any luck, Rachel starts to rummage through dresser drawers and bookshelves.

That’s when her phone rings.

Breaking into a huge smile, Rachel immediately drops what she’s doing and grabs her phone from her bed, flipping it open and hitting the “answer” button without looking at the caller ID. There’s only one person who could possibly be phoning her right now, and Rachel’s been waiting for this call the entire day.

“Hi Mom!”

“Happy birthday, Baby. I love you so much.”

“Love you too!” Rachel takes a seat on the edge of her mattress and cradles the phone to her ear. “Mom, where are you? You’re gonna miss the cake and presents!”

“Dawn, listen-”

“Wait ‘til you see the cake! Rose got me the special kind, you know, where there’s the bottom cake and then a smaller one stacked on top? It’s chocolate with chocolate frosting, and the frosting is really, really shiny, like the kind we had for my birthday last year. From that place near the mall that you and me went to! Remember?”

“Dark chocolate cupcakes. I remember.”

“The outside is covered in rainbow sprinkles and it’s so pretty. Mom, some of the sprinkles are tiny silver stars!”

“It sounds beautiful. Eat an extra slice for me, okay?”

“Chloe and Maxine are sleeping over tonight, but tomorrow we can-” Rachel halts mid-sentence as the implications of her mother’s choice of words hit her, and all of a sudden there’s a strange sort of heaviness in the pit of her stomach. “You’re still coming, aren’t you?”

“My boss called me late last night. Baby, there was a big mix-up involving some of the orders at work and he needed me to come in today to help straighten things out.”

“But you already took the week off. You told me that he said it was okay.”

“I know, Dawn. But I was the one in charge of those orders. They can’t fix the problem without me.”

“You’re almost done, though, right? You can take a later flight, and I can save you a piece of cake, and… and it’s okay even if it’s really late! I’ll stay up until you get here!”

“We’re trying to sort everything out as fast as we can, but things aren’t looking good.”

There’s a long pause of silence before Rachel speaks again. When she does, her tone is flat. “So you’re not coming.” It’s not a question. She already knows the answer.

“I’m so, so sorry. I want to be there with you more than anything. You know that, right?”

The longer Sera talks, the less Rachel hears. Her heart thumps in her ears. Her grip tightens around her phone. Her shoulders start to tremble, but not from the cold. In fact, her skin is still warm to the touch from spending most of the afternoon in the sun. “But it’s my birthday!” Rachel growls, voice strained and a pitch higher than normal.

“I might be able to come up next week instead. I promise we’ll celebrate then.”

“NO!” Rachel is feeling a mixture of emotions, hurt and disappointment at the top of the list, but it manifests as anger and she explodes at Sera through the phone. “It’s not fair! You promised you’d come today!”

“Rachel, please. Believe me, I wish-“

“You’re a liar!” Rachel spits, the words spilling out as rage takes control of her mouth. “Forget it! I don’t care! This… this is BULLSHIT!”

Before Sera can say anything else, or scold her for throwing in a swear, Rachel snaps her phone shut.

------------------------------

The “Happy Birthday” song is a big, fat lie. Rachel isn’t happy at all.

About halfway through the song, she reaches her limit and she’s over it. Over everything. Everybody. Over this whole stupid party. Rachel tries to hold back her anger, tries to just keep her eyes on the cake and block out everything else, but she can still see everybody’s stupid smiling faces in her peripheral vision.

And she can’t take it.

Standing so abruptly and forcefully that it sends her chair skidding backwards several inches, Rachel grabs the platter underneath her cake and lifts it up as high as she can. The cake is heavier than it looks, so she struggles to hold it any higher than eye-level, but this is more than enough to cause her party guests to stop singing and watch her in confusion.

Having about a decade’s worth of experience dealing with her stepdaughter’s fiery temper and subsequent outbursts, Rose is the first to realize what’s about to happen. Her arms shoot out towards the cake instinctively. “Rachel, don’t-“

But the warning is a little too late, and Rose is pretty sure that it would have been futile regardless.

To everyone’s horror, Rachel smashes the cake down onto the tabletop. The top layer is knocked askew, cracking into two chunks, and the motion alone puts out all but three of the candles. A few of her friends gasp, but then shocked silence spreads through the room. Rachel can tell without even looking that everyone’s staring at her.

In the next second, Rachel bolts from the scene, pushing past several classmates in her haste and roughly bumping into somebody with her shoulder. She doesn’t stop to see who it is. Right now she doesn’t care. She disappears upstairs and slams her bedroom door behind her. James calls his daughter’s name and makes a move to go after her, but Rose stops him.

“No, James. Let her be.” Rose is all too familiar with Rachel’s tantrums and knows that there’s no point in trying to talk to her until she’s had time to cool down. “Right now I could use your help.”

While Rose and James decide what to do about the birthday cake situation, the rest of the room falls into chaos. The kids all start talking at once, some asking what’s wrong with Rachel… some wondering if there’s still going to be cake… but most expressing their utter astonishment at the cake incident.

“Hey! Maxine’s bleeding!”

The announcement is loud enough to be heard over all the clamor. Rose whips her head around at the mention of blood and spots Chloe fussing over Maxine, who’s in tears and has her hands over her nose and mouth.

Rose hurries over and sits her in one of the chairs. “Oh, Maxine, she ran into you, didn’t she? Let me take a look.” Carefully taking Maxine’s hands away from her face, Rose is met with the unpleasant sight of dark red blood trailing slowly trailing down the girl’s mouth and chin. “James, grab me some Kleenex, would you?”

“I’ll get it!” yells Chloe, jumping up. She quickly retrieves the box of tissues that she remembers seeing in the living room earlier.

Rose thanks Chloe, then grabs a handful of tissues and holds them against Maxine’s nose. Maxine pulls back slightly, crying out in pain, so Rose adjusts hold to one that’s more gentle. “Sorry, sweetheart. I know it hurts.”

Chloe stands by her best friend’s side and holds her hand. “Don’t worry, I promise it’s not that bad.”

After a minute, Rose removes the tissues and inspects the damage. The bleeding already seems to be stopping. “Chloe’s right. There’s not too much blood left. You’re going to be fine.” Behind her, James finishes inspecting the confectionery carnage and reports that the serving platter is still intact and the cake should still be safe to eat. Rose plucks some fresh tissues from the box. “Thank goodness. Here, Maxine, take these and I’ll check back on you in a bit, okay?” The woman runs off to wash her hands, then joins her husband in slicing up the cake for anybody who still wants some.

“Does it hurt?” asks Chloe, worried about her friend.

Maxine, still holding tissues to her nose, nods slightly. “Kind of.”

“Something’s wrong. There’s no way Rachel would hurt you on purpose.”

“I know,” says Maxine. “I think something really bad happened after she went inside.”

“Do you think she got into a fight or something?” Chloe wonders. She lowers her voice so only Maxine can hear. “Or maybe she got in trouble. Do you think Rose found out about the-“

“Think I found out about what, now?” Rose suddenly reappears from behind, startling the girls. Chloe shakes her head and starts to stutter, but Rose chuckles. “It’s all right, I won’t ask. How’s your nose doing, Maxine?”

Maxine slowly removes the tissues from her nose and waits a moment. She gives a tiny, careful sniff, but it doesn’t feel like there’s any more blood. “I think it stopped.”

“Why don’t you go into the bathroom and clean up?” Rose hands Maxine a t-shirt that the girls recognize as one of Rachel’s. “When you’re done, give me your shirt. I’ll try to get those stains out.”

Looking down at her own shirt, Maxine sees the reddish-brown splotches that have already started to dry and set into the fabric. Her stomach churns at the sight and she gratefully accepts the change of clothes. In the downstairs bathroom, Maxine rinses herself off and gets changed. She comes back out blood-free and looking as good as new. She hands Rose her soiled top with a shy thank you.

“No problem, dear,” says Rose, taking the shirt. “Girls, could you go upstairs and see how Rachel’s doing? I don’t think she’ll want to talk to me or her father just yet, but she might appreciate having you two there with her.”

Chloe and Maxine nod. Even if Rose hadn’t asked them, checking up on their friend was already next on their list of things to do.

“What happened?” asks Chloe.

“Do you girls remember Sera, her mother? Sera was supposed to be at the party today, but she ended up not being able to come. Rachel’s… understandably upset.” Rose gives a sad smile. “Anyway, you girls go on ahead. I’ll be up in a bit to check on her.”

Chloe and Maxine climb up to the second floor and stop in front of Rachel’s room. Chloe knocks, then opens the door a few inches and sticks her head inside. Rachel is lying on the bed facing the opposite wall. “Rachel?” Chloe pauses for an answer but she doesn’t get one. “It’s just me and Maxine. We’re coming in.”

Walking into the room, Chloe glances around. The closet looks overturned and Rachel’s belongings are strewn all over the floor. A few drawers are open, their contents messily tossed about as well. “Hey, are you okay?” When Chloe is once again met with silence, she turns to Maxine only to find her still in the hallway, clinging to the door frame. Chloe gestures for Maxine to hurry up and come inside. After a moment of hesitation, Maxine runs on her tiptoes to catch up to Chloe, who climbs onto the bed next to Rachel. Maxine perches lightly on the very edge of the mattress.

“Rose told us about your mom,” Chloe says. “That hella sucks…”

Silence.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

More silence.

Rachel still hasn’t moved, nor given any indication that she’s even aware of Chloe and Maxine’s presence. So Chloe makes herself comfortable and motions for Maxine to do the same. “Well, it’s okay if you don’t. We’ll stay here to keep you company. Right, Maxine?”

Maxine finds her voice. “Yeah, it’s not a party without you.”

“Rach, you should’ve seen Maxine earlier. You clocked her in the face good and her nose was, like, gushing blood-”

“Chloe!” Maxine swats her friend on the arm.

To their surprise, Rachel rolls over, pushing herself into a sitting position.

And she speaks!

“Oh my god, really?”

Chloe and Maxine and relieved to hear Rachel’s voice again, even if it sounds tired and scratchy. They take a good look at their friend’s face for the first time since before the cake catastrophe. Although Rachel’s eyes are dry now, there are shiny tear streaks down her cheeks and it’s obvious that she had been crying.

Maxine’s tone goes soft. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Sorry. I totally didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay!” Maxine gives Rachel a small smile. “We’re, um… more worried about you.”

“Oh.”

“If you wanna tell us what happened, we’re here to listen,” Chloe repeats.

“Okay, okay, fine,” Rachel sighs, scooting backwards until she’s against her headboard. Chloe and Maxine are watching her intently, waiting for her to talk. Normally, Rachel loves being the center of attention, but this is a sensitive topic and her friends’ gazes are making her uncomfortable. Keeping her eyes down, Rachel hugs her knees to her chest in attempt to feel less vulnerable. “My mom called.”

As soon as Rachel mentions her mother, her voice breaks and her tears start anew. Chloe moves right beside her and puts an arm around her shoulders. Even Maxine ventures to a new spot on the bed closer to her friends. Neither of them speak. They just let Rachel vent.

“She said she’s too busy to come to my party... even though she promised!” Rachel’s voice is thick with emotion. “It’s not fair! Why did Dad have to make us move so far away? I hate it here! Now I never get to see her!”

“But she still texts you, like, every day, right?” Chloe tries to cheer Rachel up. “That’s pretty cool.”

“And you talk to her on the phone,” Maxine adds.

But Rachel snuffles and shakes her head, letting out a quivery, shuddery sob. “It’s not the same!”

There’s a knock on the door, and all three girls turn to see Rose standing in the doorway. “Rachel, honey, can I come in?” Taking her stepdaughter’s lack of a response as a yes, Rose walks around to the other side of the bed and takes a seat. “I know you’re disappointed. Your father and I were looking forward to seeing Sera today too. It’s completely normal to feel sad.”

“I’m not sad!” Rachel glares in Rose’s direction. “I’m mad! She cares about work more than me!”

“Oh, Rachel, you know that’s not true.”

Rachel scoffs. “Well, she’s not here, is she?”

“Honey, come here,” Rose says gently, opening her arms towards Rachel. The girl tries to keep up her tough front, staring hard at her stepmother for a few moments, but Rose waits patiently, looking at her with eyes full nothing but love. Sure enough, Rachel’s defenses crumble and she surrenders, breaking away from Chloe and falling forward into the embrace. Rose’s hugs are always warm and comforting. Her anger melts away, leaving just the hurt behind.

Rose was right.

She is disappointed.

For as long as Rachel can remember, Sera has always been there on her birthday. She’s been at every birthday party and every special birthday dinner at Rachel’s favorite restaurant. There’s plenty of photographic proof in the photo albums Rose has compiled over the years. Rachel has so many special memories celebrating her birthday with her mom. On her ninth birthday, Sera surprised her by showing up at her theater camp with birthday treats to share with the other campers. When Rachel turned five, she had a really bad cold and wasn’t able to leave the house, but Sera came over with a box of cake mix and a tub of frosting and they made a birthday cake together. She even got to lick the batter off the spoon!

But this was before they moved to Oregon. When the Ambers still lived in California, Sera was only a fifteen minute car ride away. Rachel saw her mom all the time.

And everyone knows that it’s impossible to get from Long Beach to Arcadia Bay in fifteen minutes.

Rachel thinks about her mom and wonders how many more birthdays she might miss now that they’re a thousand miles apart.

Rose was right.

She is sad.

And so Rachel cries for what feels like several minutes, or days, or years, or maybe an eternity. Rose just holds her tightly and rubs soothing patterns onto her back until she gets all her feelings out and has no tears left. There’s still a smidge of sad left, the kind that will only fade with time, but, compared to how miserable she was earlier, the birthday girl is feeling a whole lot better now. Taking a deep breath, Rachel pulls away and looks up at Rose, ready to confess the truth that she’s been keeping inside all day. “I just really, really miss her…”

“I know, I know…” says Rose, brushing the remnants of Rachel’s tears away with her fingers. “And I know she misses you. But she loves you with all her heart. So do I.” Rose leans down and kisses the top of her stepdaughter’s head. “So does Daddy. And Chloe and Maxine.”

Rachel looks over her shoulder at her friends, who nod their heads enthusiastically. Chloe puts her hands over her heart and playfully bats her eyes at her before erupting into laughter. Maxine watches, shaking her head at Chloe’s antics, but then she turns to Rachel and gives her a sweet smile.

Her friends are such dorks. Rachel can’t help but let out a tiny giggle.

“Are you feeling better now?” asks Maxine.

Rachel shrugs. “A little.”

“See, Rachel? Right now there’s a house full of people who care about you and want to celebrate your big day with you,” Rose continues. “What do you say? Will you come back downstairs and join us?”

Chloe clasps her hands together and makes exaggerated puppy dog eyes. “Pleeease?”

“You’re so weird.” Rachel lightly shoves her backwards, laughing. “Fine, let’s go.”

“Yes!” Chloe pumps her fist in the air and runs for the door, calling to her friends to follow. “Come on, slowpokes, let’s see if there’s any cake left!”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re coming!” Sliding off her bed, Rachel turns to Maxine and holds out a hand. As much as she loves Chloe and her silly antics, Rachel’s really glad that she also has a friend like Maxine. Maxine’s quiet, but not too quiet. Perfect quiet. There’s something about being with her that brings Rachel comfort, and that’s exactly what she needs right now. “Sit next to me, okay?”

Excited to have Rachel back, Maxine happily takes her hand. “Let’s go before Chloe eats it all.”

The girls head downstairs and find Chloe sitting at the kitchen counter, shoveling cake into her mouth. There are two slices already waiting for them, forks, napkins and all. Rachel takes a serving and sits next to Chloe, waving Maxine over to the seat on her other side. But before either of them can take a bite, a couple of Rachel’s classmates burst inside the house, shrieking excitedly at the sight of the birthday girl.

“Rachel! There you are!” exclaims one of the girls. “You have to come outside! We just started a new round of spin the bottle truth or dare and, like, the whole class is playing!”

Maxine furrows her brows in confusion. “Spin the bottle truth or dare?”

“Me and Juliet are gonna try and find out if Justin has a crush on someone,” the other girl says in a teasing tone, eyes sparkling mischievously.

“Dana!” Cheeks turning a faint shade of pink, Rachel pretends to kick her. This only causes Dana to squeal again. “Not so loud.”

“Leave us alone. We’re trying to eat,” Chloe mumbles through a mouthful of cake. Rachel raises an eyebrow. Her friend suddenly sounds grumpy, but she shrugs it off.

“Chloe, Maxine, you guys have to play too!” Juliet insists. “Come on, just bring your cake with you!”

Rachel is on the fence. While she would very much love to stay in the house and finish her birthday cake, this game does sound kind of interesting. Imagine all the juicy gossip. This might be her chance to find out all sorts of things about her classmates. And, well… Rachel does kind of want to know if there’s somebody Justin likes. She looks to her left. Chloe makes a grossed-out face and signals a thumbs down. She looks to her right. Maxine only gives her a vague sort of smile.

Neither of which are very helpful.

Curling her lips into a pout, Rachel turns back to her cake. “I don’t know.”

Dana tugs on Rachel’s arm. “Come on! It’ll be awesome, I promise!”

“Oh my god, look!”

Suddenly, Juliet’s shouting and pointing at something outside. Rachel looks out the sliding glass doors just in time to catch one of the boys doing a backwards flip into the pool. Fully-clothed. The corners of her mouth curl upwards ever so slightly. This party could still turn out to be fun.

Maybe one little game won’t hurt. Of course, she still has to convince her friends to join her. Maxine won’t be a problem, it’s Chloe who will be more of a challenge. Rachel isn’t really worried, though. All she needs to do is play the birthday card and there’s no way Chloe can say no.

And even if she does, Rachel has a few more tricks up her sleeve.

She is a skilled little actress, after all.

#childhood friends au #rachel's birthday #rachel amber #max caulfield #chloe price #life is strange

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