Tumgik
#also i guess i only edit when i'm unemployed
changingplumbob · 2 months
Note
hii!! 11-14 for the story questions
Hooray a chance to talk!!! And I actually really wanted to do these 4! Thank you Lori 😁 I'm throwing in a cut just because I write long answers, don't want to be cluttering dashboards.
11) Why have you decided to tell this story? Are there any messages or meanings within it?
It was about 6 months of me playing my rotations before I had the thought to record what was happening in story format. I was actually sticking with households and wanted to be able to look back and see how far they'd come, so I decided to start writing and taking screenshots. I've always liked creative writing throughout my life, but have been reluctant to share it, there's so much talent out there. I enjoyed writing about my sims so wanted to share it, mainly so I could talk to people about my sims because I have such fun playing.
Messages or meanings... I try to write most of my sims as being accepting. There's a lot of hate and bigotry in our world, and I like writing a world where there is minimal prejudice. Samir will never have to face sims distrusting him simply because he is of Arab descent. Devin will never face discrimination in casting simply because she is married to a woman. Joey will never have his job performance questioned simply because he has hearing loss.
I do write a few mean and narrow minded sims but they are few and far between. They are mainly there to add some realism but I want my sims to feel safe being who they are. So messages... judge someone for their character, not something that they have no control over (ethnicity, sexuality, gender, disability).
12) Do you actually play the game or do you just use it as a storytelling medium?
I LOVE playing! I preordered Sims 4! However, patience is not my strong suit. The longest I've played one household lasted from the teens in a household growing to YA and having a baby... I was the master of making a household, playing for a few in game weeks, then getting bored. Rotational play is great for me as it helps me stay invested, plus I love to micro manage.
I do consider that I'm playing my game and just recording what happens for the most part, Reece and Samir are the only ones I think of as me crafting a story. Apart from them I play pretty unplanned.
13) From basic planning to a finished post, how long does that take you?
I like to play, take screenshots, then write for those before returning to the game for another round of playing. Let me check some dates... The next households first part screenshots were taken on Jan 28th and I finished playing the household on Feb 3rd. Looks like I created the word document on Jan 28th and it was last edited on Feb 4th.
So 8 days to play and write the chapter. I'd guess another day to finish queuing the posts (I also do these as I go). But that is probably one of the faster ones. This latest one I've done has taken me over 2 weeks, yes I was away for a portion of that, and I've still not finished the writing. I'm currently unemployed so I have the time to spend on it. When I find a new job I imagine average creation time will double or triple.
Drafts from the past take about 3 minutes as it's just me getting a screenshot of whatever weirdness is happening and putting it in a post. Lookbooks can take several hours to string together, or less than 1 if I'm not providing new outfits. Build or Reno posts take maybe half an hour to put together, providing I took the screenshots I need. This post took me an hour to write because I'm having an IBS flare up and thinking deeply.
14) Do you have any regrets about your story so far? if you could go back in time, how would you fix these?
I am not a big one for regret in real life. I was for a long time but now I try to see the past as "things happened, I did the best I could in the circumstances with my resources and what I knew".
I do somewhat regret putting my earlier writing straight on Twitter with no copy to my hard drive because all that story is essentially lost to the black hole of the internet. BUT that's taught me to keep records of what I'm doing.
Story regrets... nope. I've sat here for 5 minutes and cannot think of one. I do feel sad about making all of Marta's family dead but I don't regret that choice. What I have done with my sims are things that made sense for the characters.
11 notes · View notes
tibby · 2 years
Note
as someone who HAS seen all of the saw movies what’s your take on Saw X potentially revisiting the 2-3 timeline and following amanda 👁👁
i think it'd be...interesting and very risky. obviously i love amanda dearly she's my favourite character in the entire franchise but she's very layered and i feel like it would be very easy to mess her up, particularly when taking into account a lot of the retcons/changes that have happened since saw iii. also given how badly saw vii butchered hoffman's already questionable characterisation and how...little apprentice lawrence was developed, i have concerns! the apprentices are one of my favourite aspects of the series (shocker!) in terms of dynamics and their varied relationships to john, especially amanda's relationship to him, and i don't want to see them ruin that. i believe that amanda deserved better but i also believe that her story reached a natural if deeply tragic conclusion...you know?
that said. i do trust bousman as a director when it comes to saw, so if he's involved (since there seems to be slim to none chance of james wan returning, and while i think leigh is more of a possibility i'm never getting my hopes up), then i think there's a lot of potential! amanda is...such an interesting character and i really would love to get more insight into her life before her test (including how and why eric matthews went after her) as well as more information on what she was up to in the periods between the first three films. if done right i also think an amanda film would Hit as a saw film in a way later ones didn't (saying this as a spiral stannie). vii/jigsaw/spiral didn't feel like saw films, for better or for worse, and i think making stuff amanda centric again would bring back this very specific vibe that the first six (even if i'm not an iv fan) had. i hope people know what i'm saying here.
i'm sure there's some concerns about the fact it's been like fifteen years and the cast have all aged but shawnee is TIMELESS to me so whatever. also a genuinely phenomenal actress and i would love to see her again! she's also probably the franchise's best shot of getting tobin back and i KNOW they regret killing john off so early. and this is a fine way to fix that. on a personal level i would kill a man to see amanda and lawrence interactions and ik cary has said he's open to coming back, and it would also provide an opportunity for them to touch on apprentice lawrence somewhat (and maybe open us up for an adam mention or two). the very vague jill and amanda stuff we got in vi is also fascinating to me, as she's the only one two have substantial relationships with both and amanda being one of john's first test subjects must...have really fucked with jill. anyway. point is i would also love for it to be used as a jill comeback, especially after they did her so dirty in vii. erik knudsen is in his thirties now but the amanda and daniel relationship is such an essential one to understanding amanda's character, so fuck it, bring him back too. i hope costas stays unemployed for the rest of his life but they can like, replace him with jack black or something because the amanda and hoffman relationship also makes me crazy. for fun i think they should edit in the cut amanda and adam scene from saw iii except it was clearly filmed fifteen years before the rest of the movie.
anyway. i guess my take is...very hesitant and ambivalent but if done right i will lose my goddamn mind <3 the amanda trilogy is easily the tightest narrative of the whole franchise and i think it would be very easy for them to fuck it up, but i hope if the theory DOES pan out then they get all the right people involved so they avoid any mistakes. at any rate it'll be better than the billy the puppet origin story or whatever it is that tobin bell suggested. they could also do the honourable thing and visit a VERSION of the 2-3 timeline which is jigsaw the tv show, but lionsgate still hasn't reached out to me, so i doubt it.
18 notes · View notes
madeofcc · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
Monthly Update ♥
Hey everyone ! As May is starting (it's gonna be May ♫ anyway ...), here's some life and blog update with some important changes for a short time for the blog so feel free to read or ignore it.
Also enjoy the new header !
Hope you're all safe and feeling great ♥
As my life update impacts the blog one I'll start with a little life update.
Life Update then :
As you may know, I was unemployed from January since this week. I was living on my savings but now I'm struggling a lot with money, I have to call my bank in order to negociate some kind of credit extension before I get an advance on my first pay but I will only get it after May 15th. That means I totally depend financially on my roomate which is not the best situation. In order to be able to buy food for the next couple of weeks, I sadly decided to introduce the tips option here. This is not meant as a cry for help, my roomate is actually okay to help me, but it's a solution for now (even though I feel already terrible to do it U_U). So, what will happen to the blog now that tips is optionnal ? I will delete the tips option mid May when I'll get my finances on track again.
Blog Update :
Well, nothing will change :)
As mention above, this is totally an option and if you follow me, you already know that all my content will always be free. As I don't have time for cc making right now, I won't do early access content or else. You can tip only if you want and mostly if you can (like you're a super rich heir who don't know how to spend daddy's millions .... If you struggle like me, keep your tip to treat yourself please ♥) Basically it's like donating to an author you like to read or a singer you like to hear I guess.
For the content of May I've planned to continue DH2. Episode 1 is ending this week (probably today as I'm working on the next parts) and episode 2 will start. I've also planned more edits and maybe lookbook as I've been enjoying doing these a lot lately. I've also planned to reblog more stuff and I'm working on a ressources page (finally !).
I hope you're all fine and well, surrounded with love ♥ if you ever feel the need to talk, interract or just vent, feel free to dm me anytime.
Meanwhile, take very good care of you :)
13 notes · View notes
gaykarstaagforever · 1 month
Text
I watched the first season of Only Murders in the Building. Fantastic cast and production, considering they keep it interesting when it is mostly three people arguing in one of three apartments. It started off a little slow and I was worried Steve Martin was kind of miscast as a chronically unlikable washed-up 90s TV actor. But they nail down a consistent character as the season goes on, and he pulls it off.
Martin Short is a national treasure. I'll watch him eat soup. Selena Gomez should come live in my house. Nathan Lane's turn as an unhinged crime boss was unexpected, and of course he absolutely nails it.
And I was like, "Man, Detective Williams was a great character they should have used more. I wonder if the lady who played her has done anything else?"
Tumblr media
Well, yes. That is Da'Vine Joy Randolph, and she just won an OSCAR. Good on me for being on top of things, as usual.
They do an entire episode from the perspective of a hearing-impaired person that was clearly Emmy-bait, but also really good. They are consistent with the podcast theme and theming throughout, and it only gets obnoxious when the writers try being sardonic about it, which comes across as old people complaining about Biden at Burger King on 9 am on a Tuesday.
In fact, I'm pretty sure this show is specifically aimed at people over 60, given the throwback whodunnit production style and Martin and Short, and all the other wonky lines that are them complaining about smartphones or, specifically, how Millennials do The Thing. And Selena's character doesn't seem to do anything an average woman her age would do, which, yes, is part of the entire setup, as she is intentionally supposed to be a Mrs. Marple-esque character who is 30, today. But that also is a convenient way for older writers to get away with not having to write a believable character who is of their children's or grandchildren's generation.
Selena has an executive producer credit along with Martin and Short, so I guess she was fine with this? There is also a lot of effing and jeffing for a show that seems to be for the same old people who know and like whatever a Blue Bloods has been for 14 years. But I guess those parts were meant for me, the Millennial who is hip to the cussing jive. I'm also supposed to relate to the part where Selena explains slang to the old men, and jokes about TikTok.
...Except she's 28 in the show. Which in our world as it is, means she would not be a cool youth of today, but a tired young woman complaining on Tumblr about how she doesn't understand what the hell anyone under 20 is saying over on TikTok. So this specific part of the show is kind of out of touch. Again, feels like Boomer or Gen X writers grinding some axes from 2008.
A related weird thing is them deciding to make Short's goofball failed Broadway producer character the one editing and uploading the podcast. Why wouldn't Selena's Millennial character be tasked with doing that? We distinctly never see Short working on that side of it. It isn't a big deal, but it is also a little odd that the 70-year-old unemployed theater guy is suddenly running around, making a professional quality podcast with $100,000 equipment. They explain the money thing, but its the supposed skill set I find a little hard to believe.
The resolution to the murder mystery was pretty good, and that could have torpedoed the whole season if it hadn't worked out. It was a very contrived, literary sort of conclusion, but that is entirely the point.
I'll check out Season 2. Hopefully it can sustain the momentum.
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
riverageleis · 8 months
Text
I've been MIA for a few weeks. Between my mental health, starting a couple of new projects, work, and renovations, my spoons have been dangerously low.
Mental Health
I had a Myriad genetic test to see why I failed so many SSRI/SNRIs. The answer is because of the answer is because of all of the ones on the market three (3) work with my genetics. The rest are 'might be okay' or 'absolutely the fuck not.' I've already failed one of the 3, so that makes two left. It is also why I have failed tricyclics. The vast majority of them are in the 'lolnope' category. So is my current antipsychotic, so I guess I get to detox from it. >:-[
Anyway, so Pristiq is making me vaguely paranoid (vaguely being above baseline...) and now I'm sleeping around 4 hours, which is why I'm up at 0130 typing this. I'm tired all the time, have a headache, have all but stopped eating, and in general don't constantly want to unalive myself, but holy fucking fuck! I'm so tired I could drop into a coma at any point during my day. All of these are known side effects., so yay. I titrated up on my dose a week ago and all of those things have gotten worse. Also, yay.
Oh! And a couple of weeks ago I had this random asshole get angry at me on the road because I had the audacity to be in front of him and slow down to turn into my driveway. He was going to turn into the drive behind me and make the biggest mistake of his life until he saw my partner come out of the house and then he thought better of it. That's twice now in the space of a year that men have thought they were going to intimidate me by following me because I had the audacity to be afab existing alone in a vehicle. (The other got mad because I had the audacity to pass him because he was going 20mph under the speed limit.) Some of us have no flight response. That's bad for someone just wanting to be a scary jerk.
New Projects
I'm about 4k words into 2 new stories with about 8k words to edit in my finished works. The aforementioned exhaustion has got those things moving slower than I'd like, despite all of the extra hours in my day.
Work
I'm working long hours again, this last week it was 49. The two weeks before it averaged 44 each. The extra pay helps with bills since my partner was unemployed for 2 months and has worked at his new job for 2 weeks. His unemployment still hasn't come through. (Thanks 'small government' Republicans! It's great that you're in my uterus, but also want to destroy any social safety net us poors might need, you know, like unemployment. You're awesome!)
Renovations
They all but stopped until the last 2 weeks. I think daddy was sick of my partner being under foot for everything instead of worrying about getting a job. Honestly, I was, too. We moved a year ago and he's been unemployed almost half that time. If we hadn't been living in an RV this whole time, we'd have been homeless. (Not really, but mom and dad would have been paying rent or bills or something because I couldn't.) It was only when I told him that he needed to think about moving back to Missouri did he find a job and quickly. It wasn't like this before we moved. He was always employed. I also have fruits and veggies going nuts. I have a sweet potato that I'm going to put in a hanging basket. I have 6 volunteer tomato plants, two of which are losing their minds. I have no less than 3, probably, cantaloupe plants in my burgeoning compost pile. Horsenettle all over the yard, muscadine vines (wild grapes), wild petunias. This wee witch's cottage loves us as much as we love it.
The Cats
And because I need to end on a high note, I need to talk about my cats. My almost 9-year-old beastie, Clarise the former completely indoor City Kitty, has embraced the idea of being a Country Cat. She's being supervised as she explores the yard and all that our wee acre has to offer her, which is mostly grass. She has flea and tick medicine on for the first time in her life. I also discovered that her soft double coat is too dense for a tick to get through. How? I found one on her face trying its damndest to get through to her skin. It was failing. So, now we do tick checks, despite the medicine. Lt. Dan is turning into the most rambunctious little bugger as she heads toward 6 months old. Still, nothing seems to phase her, so I hope she's going to be super chill. She was desexed recently and completely unbothered by the surgery. She also got her first dose of flea medicine because she didn't weigh enough to have any yet. She is also excited to be a Country Cat, except they don't make a harness small enough for her. Fun fact: Tiny dog harnesses are the same size as kitten harnesses.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
0 notes
bananaapplewaffle · 1 year
Text
Vent.I feel a breakdown coming on whew.
This got darker than I thought sorry.
There are two updates. If you care to read them they’re there.
Being unemployed but having to pay for things sure is scary! I have to do things for my dog which is gonna be around $65 (and god she needs more preventative meds omg omg), I have a Klarna payment (last one thank god) which is $27, my bank account is sitting under $100 and I hate when its like that
And that's just my stuff, that's not the rest of the stuff going on in my household.
God I just feel like such a fucking burden living. And I just added onto it by getting a dog for my fucked up mental. Like I hate not being normal. I really fucking do. I wish that I could just go out get on the bus and go get a job and help provide, but I can't. The fucking thought of getting on the bus and not being absolutely perfect (knowing and putting in the money correctly, quickly taking my bus pass and sitting down, not looking like a fool as I ride) terrifies me.
It just really sucks that you weren't the person you were supposed to be and you instead turned up to be really fucked up actually.
Like I'm so sorry, really wish that I could just end it all and the last thing you'll have to take care of is my funeral costs and my dog, so that I'll only burden you one last time instead constantly.
Edit: just got off the phone with the vet. So instead of $63 it’s gonna be $190.80. No one has that. I’m so fucking scared. Also I’m having that breakdown now and I have to leave in about an hour. I’m so fucking over everything.
Last Update: My mom said she’ll help. I really, really don’t want to be more of a burden that I am on her but I guess that’s all I’m good for.
0 notes
contrarianshit · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media
cruel summer: 90s vintage
234 notes · View notes
obsidianjewel · 2 years
Note
Honestly I thought the idea of Jason as the next heir could have been a really good plot if they did anything with it. There could be really interesting stories about members of the family worrying if Jason would become evil or if this could be a chance to redeem the league. Lots of "well we don't stop soldiers maybe this could work as a global military group" vs "no this is a global assassin ring it would be us legitimizing assassins" 1)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(for context: we are talking about this post)
For starters, I honestly agree with all of these questions and theories anon!
This is pretty long, which I'm honestly pretty surprised came out lmao
"Also some good will Jason choose Bruce or Talia as a parental figure drama."
In my personal opinion I feel like Jason would choose Talia, and that's not just like my dislike for Bruce talking at all. To be honest, I'm mostly talking about RHatO #25, and like the aftermath of what happened. Bruce jumped to the conclusion that Jason broke his no killing rule (which he didn't), and left him on a rooftop half dead (not to mention the whole batarang to neck bit). It canonically took Jason months to recover. Why should Jason choose Bruce? We all know about Jason's relationship with the batfam is like, and honestly? I want to see what's Jason like outside of the batfam, I want to see how's he's like not feeling like he's constantly letting down Bruce. Let Jason be on his own path for once.
"Also what of Damian or any other possible heir like Tim or Cass. Damian has never wanted the league but would he be hurt at being rejected as the heir."
Cass was raised by assassins for like most of her life, and she has a shit ton of trauma from that, so I honestly don't think she would want to take the place as heir. And Tim, like Bruce, has declined the position as heir as well. You're right, Damian never wanted the league, and I feel like he would be hurt, because well it is his birthright. Would he get over it? Probably? He would mostly be bitter about it though.
"Is everyone secretly happy it is Jason because now the league will leave them alone. Lots of questions about if they should let go and respect his decision and trust him.”
Bruce and Dick would most definitely try and stop him. I feel like Cass, Steph, and probably Tim would be neutral?? Especially since they never officially met him (mostly on Cass, Steph's end, Tim on the other hand...)? Edit: Though, Duke, he would side with Bruce and Dick on this, very recently I found out about Jason's and Duke's relationship, with Jason being a mentor to him. They more than likely heard his voice, saw him on old training tapes back when he was Robin (tbh this is like my personal headcanon), and heard about him in passing. Not to mention the glass case of Jason’s Robin uniform, which needs to be put away or something because Jason’s alive now, if I was Jason I would rather not stay around people who still mourn me :/ I don’t really know about Damian though, I mean a lot of people have this headcanon that Damian and Jason met each other in the League, which honestly kinda makes sense. 
They have Damian and Jason have this brotherly relationship back in the League, when Jason was staying there. I guess Damian wouldn’t want Jason to be heir, probably thinking he would turn out like Ra’s. I don’t really know, what are your thoughts on this part?
“Let’s say Jason is the Heir. What would his rule be? Would he have assassins kill people? Would he fight to make the League better? Or would it be a long play to take it down? Would he be corrupted?”
Jason would most definitely have the League changed. This kinda relates to this fic called My Son by Zootopon on ao3. It’s about Jason becoming a CEO of a small pharmaceutical firm in Metropolis that Talia gave him. He traveled the world, Gotham in particular, giving those that lived in the most downtrodden parts of society a chance to not only survive but live. Like struggling parents, homeless beggars, unemployed Veterans were some of the many he sought out, interviewed and recruited. Jason scouted for those that were like him. A diamond in the rough. 
BUT! On the other hand, I read a fic where Jason was a General for the League, sadly I forgot the name of it :/
In the end, I honestly just want to see Jason living his own life away from the batfam.
I agree with the UTRH idea and controlling crime from the inside though, I would honestly read it too lmao.
Let's just see where DC will take this first, I just thought the concept itself was good albeit a bit shocking, so I'm kinda excited on what will happen next.
Tell me what you think of this, I would love to hear your thoughts! :)
especially from these people though, I love their thoughts on things like these!: @wonderwondered @gooseyalghul-gumdrops @cats-and-katanas @aalghul @rasalghul777
92 notes · View notes
firjii · 5 years
Text
Alternative goals/approaches to strict NaNoWriMo that might be obvious but I'm saying them anyway in case they’re not
Yes hello again, it's your friendly neighborhood "wild horses couldn't drag me back to writing and yet I do still write sometimes" recluse. 
Given how often I've talked about the physical (not just psychological) toll that extreme amounts of writing can take, y'all can probably guess my opinions on NaNo: it's an admirable concept but no way in hell would I ever participate. Aside from a joke or two, I usually go a bit quiet when that special time rolls around again because a) I'm not your mother, and b) my specific personal experience is a fairly extreme example of burnout (so for all I know, there are people out there who cheerfully finish NaNo without incident).
But I know that setting goals, practicing an interest/hobby/skill, and making progress are still, y'know, important and very human things. NaNo is very serious business to some people. To some of us, it can even tread somewhere near a pseudomeasurement of job skills (the jury’s out on that in practice, but since some of y'all do actually write or edit for a living, I get it). 
So instead of trying to dissuade people from trying NaNo, I humbly suggest these alternatives (especially if you haven't done this event before).
Tumblr media
Do a "half nano." 
A lot of people start strong and can manage until the halfway mark but get stuck or tired after the first 2-3 weeks. Variant: stretch the halfway goal out over the whole month.
As someone who actually has plenty of free time to write, I promise that 50k words in a month is really, really pushing it even in the most optimal circumstances (when I was completely unemployed, I'd commonly spend at least 5 hours a day 5-6 days a week on writing and still only got anywhere near that kind of number...maybe twice in 5 years??). I understand that the minimum length of a finished novel does tend to be at least 50k words and the hope is to basically write a whole book in a month, but a lot of people don’t hit 50k anyway. Some of us can deal with 25k in a month just fine. 25k is still a hell of a lot of words and a hell of an achievement. 
Still look like too much? Try 10k in a month. You'll still be participating in the spirit of the challenge and you'll have more opportunities to really step back and think about the words you’re writing.
Tumblr media
Make a daily or weekly writing goal for the month, but don't also lock yourself into word counts. 
Have a bunch of unfinished chapters? Make finishing a chapter your goal. Have unfinished scenes or ones that don't connect to each other? Make connecting the dots your goal. This might mean the finishing touches or it might mean a big slab of words, but chances are that it's more manageable than starting from absolutely nothing. Personally for me, reconciling unrelated ideas was usually a lot more satisfying than mindlessly bloating my progress with words that didn't really serve much purpose.
Tumblr media
Here's a wild one. Do you really, really, REALLY struggle with outlines or planning on longer fics? Take an entire month just to plan a longfic out. 
It'll still be an achievement (ngl there's a chance you won't finish it if it's that detailed or you're like me and genuinely have that much trouble with that aspect of writing, but you'll still probably get an excellent start on it). You'll be doing yourself a great service for some other point down the road when you want to actually write the fic.
Tumblr media
If you have writing/editing experience and want to get involved with NaNo but don't want to write, consider being a beta or hanging around a community where you can give your advice/experience/support during NaNo. 
One tiny comment or pinch of encouragement can go a very long way. (Obviously doesn’t need to be limited to NaNo but I’m wording it like this in case you’re easily stressed and don’t want to/can’t commit to anything beyond that one month a year for whatever reason).
Tumblr media
Do a full nano but don't also lock yourself into daily/weekly word count averages. 
That should be obvious, but for some reason it isn't. This is indeed a way to chip away at the big scary beast, but it's actually super unrealistic for a lot of people and IMO it can just make you fear word counts. 300 really crafted words mean more than 5k of disorganized rambling.
Did you write 3k (or any other number that's big compared to your average output) yesterday? Great, so take today and maybe also tomorrow off, you earned it. Even if you're really fueled with inspiration, it's not unusual to feel absolutely hungover the day after a big writing session. That feeling tends to compound after a few really productive days in close succession. The human brain does try to sort out problems 24/7 but it still needs a decent chance to do that and sometimes this means skipping a day or two here and there.
Or if you need extended amounts of time for writing or rest, do alternating weeks instead. This does mean doubling up in the weeks when you're writing, but some people work very well with having longer breaks in between like that.
4 notes · View notes
Note
Hi there! I had a question. So, I'm on the fence about pro-life/pro-choice. Women's bodies are their own and they should have a say in what happens to them. But...At the same time, they're pregnant with a to-be baby. And I'd really like to see know someone else's view. Like, I said. I'm on the fence and I just want someone else's opinion on the matter. That's, if you don't mind talking about it.
That’s cool, I don’t mind at all! In fact, here’s a few other posts that may be of interest to you and have really shaped my own perceptions.
Tbh, I’m not the most unbiased or, uh, sensitive of people to ask about this, but I suppose that’s the point and I’ll do my best to answer in a way that doesn’t devolve into ranting. (Edit: this got very long and kind of rambling, but hopefully it doesn’t come off as mean.)
First off we need to establish that I’m asexual, aromantic, at times agender, and have less than zero desire to be a part of any stage of the human reproductive process. In all honesty, pregnancy is a very special kind of body-horror to me, and that likely factors into my reaction to the self-styled “pro-life” side. Because, when you get right down to it, much of the “pro-life” side isn’t pro-life, it’s pro-fetus.
You’d think if a person was pro-life, they’d care about, say: the homeless epidemic, or how America likes to march into foreign countries and murder a shit-ton of people, or all the queer/lgbt+ people who are victims of hate crimes. They’d care about people of color who are murdered by the police every day, or the thousands of kids abused by a system meant to protect them, or women (and, of course, others) who are victims of domestic violence or rape culture. But the thing is, a lot of them aren’t.
Because, like I said, a lot of them only care about the fetus, and care nothing for the woman* who’s carrying it. Once that baby is born, they cease giving a fuck because obviously if it’s been born, then their job is done, and they don’t care what happens next. They don’t care if those women carrying the fetus was raped, or got drunk and didn’t use protection, or did absolutely everything “right” and still got pregnant. They don’t care that those women don’t want to be pregnant; those women don’t want to give up forty weeks of their life to what (when you think about it clinically) amounts to a parasite; those women don’t want to give birth; those women don’t want to be responsible for raising a child, and often don’t have the means to do it right.
A frighteningly large amount of “pro-lifers” are white Christians who refuse to acknowledge the complexities of pregnancy, childbirth, and child-rearing. They argue that “life begins at conception” but say nothing about the life or lives that may be ruined by that conception (and subsequent birth). They use the Bible to justify forcing women to carry an unwanted fetus to term, and then also use it to justify hate crimes against queer/LGBT+ people, discriminatory treatment of PoC, and the general subjugation of women. Oh, and we can’t ever forget the Islamophobia and general air of xenophobia that usually accompanies them as well.
In essence, a more accurate description of the pro-life side is anti-choice, because that’s what it comes down to.
Listen, I don’t mean to be a dick about this.
I get that you haven’t made up your mind and that the idea of terminating a potential human being (and I stress this word because like 90% of abortions take place during the first trimester, when it is more accurate to call it an embryo) probably squicks you out.
I totally understand that.
But it’s important to be aware that for a lot of people on the anti-choice side, their little crusade is just another way to express their bigotry and their hatred of women, often queer/LGBT+ women and women of color.
Story time:
My grandmother on my mom’s side got pregnant out of wedlock when she was sixteen. That became my Aunt Dawn (for whom I was named) and she’s the sweetest, most well-meaning woman… maybe not in the world, but that I’ve ever met, certainly. But guess what? Grandma Kathy didn’t want her. She was sixteen, she made a dumbass decision, and didn’t want to have a kid. But you know what her parents did? They told her they were taking her to get an abortion, bundled her up in the car, drove several states away, and dropped her at a “home for fallen women.” They didn’t tell her where they were leaving her, or for how long, or anything. Just that she could come back “home” later. “Later” meaning after she gave birth to my Aunt Dawn.
Listen, I love my Aunt Dawn. Out of literally all of my family, and hoo-boy there’s a lot of them on either side, she’s basically the only one that I even like, let alone love. But my grandma didn’t want my Aunt Dawn and she shouldn’t have been forced to have her. She shouldn’t have been lied to and abandoned and blackmailed into having and raising a child. And it took a toll on her, let me assure you.
Okay, I like my grandma well enough, okay? But she isn’t exactly the healthiest person, she doesn’t have the healthiest relationships, and doesn’t make the healthiest decisions. She’s had five daughters and two sons by several different men, she’s poor and unemployed, and I’m pretty sure she’s had some issues with drinking.
If I were able to go back in time and help her get an abortion, I fucking would. Even knowing that it would mean that me and my sisters and my nephew and my mom and my Aunt Dawn wouldn’t exist, I would still do it. (It sounds terrible, but I don’t care much about my uncles and cousins. They’re all a bunch of fucked up assholes.)
And now let’s talk about my sisters. I have a lot. I have one who got pregnant in her senior year of high school and had to drop out; my nephew is going to be four now in a few months and she’s only just gotten a job that pays a living wage.
I have another who’s currently pregnant and with the guy who knocked her up even though he’s and idiot and an asshole and makes her cry; I fear for the future of both her and the kid that’s on the way because those futures are not gonna be fuckin pretty.
I have two (adopted) sisters who are actually sisters themselves; only half, though, because their dad is a piece of shit who couldn’t keep it in his damn pants and didn’t even try. He’s in prison now and blames his parents for everything that’s gone wrong in his life, up to and including the fact that he isn’t fit to take care of his kids. (I know this because he’s my step-dad’s kid and sent a long series of texts to that effect to my mom a few months ago.) My new little sisters’ moms are both drug addicts who couldn’t be trusted with their daughters. And, of course, my sisters have another sister by another woman (who’d also had drug problems but is now clean and takes care of her daughter) and a brother that I don’t know much about.
And then, of course, there’s my other sisters on the other side of things, who are desperate to have children. I have one who’s been trying with her husband for a couple of years now, who’s had fertility treatments and has visited multiple doctors to try to figure out what’s up with her junk, because we know it’s something but don’t know what. She’s slated for some kind of surgery soon.
I’ve also got another sister, my oldest, who wants kids. She just got married to an old friend of hers who I had never even heard of until I was invited to the wedding. She stayed in a relationship with an abusive ex-Navy Seal for years because he kept dangling the possibility of having kids with her like a fucking carrot. They had physical fights, she had to take all kinds of medication for anxiety and shit, and liked to combine them with alcohol because being in a relationship with him was such a fucking trial on her psyche.
My immediate family alone pretty much runs the gamut of reproductive experiences, barring (to my knowledge) sexual assault and the fact that (to my knowledge) they’re all cis.
What I’m saying is: there’s a lot of shit out there. A lot. There’s girls who got pregnant on accident, and never even consider abortion. There’s girls who got pregnant on accident, and never got access to abortion. There’s girls who want to get pregnant but can’t because of medical reasons. There’s girls who want to get pregnant and men use that to abuse and manipulate them.
I support all of them. I support those that never consider abortions; I support those that want abortions; I support those that want to carry to term; I support those that are desperate to get pregnant in the first place. I support each and every one of them, for all that I am completely unable to empathize with those that want kids in the first place.
I support them because, even though I have no idea what any of that must feel like, it’s their choice and I respect that. Anti-choicers, pro-lifers, whatever you wanna call them, they don’t respect that. They treat pregnancy like it’s the be-all and end-all of human existence and experience. They treat women who get pregnant and want to abort as if they’re stupid, irresponsible, the devil himself, etc.
Now, if you’ve made it all this way, then I’d like to apologize for all the detours and digressions and also congratulate you on getting through them all. As you may have noticed, I’ve got some thoughts on the subject in general as well as some tangentially-personal experience. What it all boils down to is this: while it may affect us, while it may impact the course of our lives, unless it is us who is the one who is pregnant, it’s not our decision. We can have opinions; we can offer advice; we can counsel the one who is pregnant. But, when it comes right down to it, the only one who gets to make the decision of whether to carry to term or abort, is the one who is pregnant.
And, to me, that’s all there is to it.
*not everyone who becomes pregnant is a woman and may be instead nonbinary/genderqueer or a man who was assigned female at birth. However, I very much doubt that someone who cares very little or (more likely) absolutely nothing for a person’s body autonomy will care anything for respecting their gender identity.
1 note · View note