toby nsfw headcanons pls 👁️

general toby rogers NSFW hcs?????!!!!!! :0 >:3

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A/N: MWUAH HAHAHA

CW: tbh gn!reader, NSFW, toby being a PATHETIC SLUT /hj, praise kink, head (f receiving), idk just all around basic vanilla NSFW warnings??

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-toby's not the biggest horn dog around tbh!! i feel like he just kind of gave up on the idea of romance when he was younger cause of... y'know. all those. issues.... until i suppose he started dating someone...

-!! i feel like you HAVE to be dating for a bit in order for him to do anything sexual with you. he has to trust you.

-sorry he is just so anxious and pathetic and he wants to touch you s o bad but he's a LOSER!!!

-did someone say submissive????? i swear i just heard someone say submissive......... weird.......

-i like the idea that him and natalie were together and then split, so i feel like he has some... base knowledge. definitely knows the basics and then some funky tricks.

-MASTER at giving chicks head. he likes that he doesn't have to make eye contact and secretly enjoys getting crushed by their thighs. also just generally loves to please them.

-whimpers.

-LOVES LOVES LOVES getting marked up. scratches and hickeys and bite marks. fucking destroy him. it gives him an ego boost around other guys and makes him giggle and twirl his hair in his fingers in private.

-handsy. will gravitate towards anything. your waist, boobs/chest, ass, thighs, neck, chin/jaw, throat, whatever. loves to just touch you and be in possession of you.

-would crawl into your skin if he could. loves intense make out sessions with you on top of him, super close.

-MOANS INTO KISSES I REPEAT MOANS INTO KISSES

-just goes straight to heaven when you kiss him. he gets totally lost in it and ends up being sooo passionate. gripping you, eyes closed tight, some fuckin tongue actionnnnnn.

-TELL HIS ASS THAT HE'S A GOOD PRETTY BOY he fucking needs it and will do anything you want afterwards. to him, to you, whatever. he's yours. praise is the guaranteed way to get him hard/make him finish 🤭

-when he gets horny his eyes get like super droopy. and his voice gets more scratchy. oh my god he's so pathetic and also so hot.

-insecure about his body. needs to have sex in dim lighting, and refuses to stand up naked in front of you. please don't try to change his mind just let the loser be.

-his BPD makes him so insanely jealous. he won't do any pda (unless he's having an episode) but will absolutely remind you of who your boyfriend is in private. so terrified that you'll leave him he just kinda freaks out and starts kissing you urgently lmaoo.

-on top of that, he is so insecure about his relationship with you. needs constant reassurance after anything intimate and soooo afraid of hurting you physically during sex. not really a kinky rough bdsm type of fella.

-is so tired of not being able to feel pain or temperature so he embraces sexual feelings with open arms tbh.

-definitely gets too aggressive when making out, or when he's had a bad day and ramming into you and he just zones out and gets lost in the feeling.

-when he gets like this you literally have to peel him off of you, and he'll back his head up and look at you with those droopy eyes..... breathing heavy.... a lil saliva trail connecting your mouths.... >:3

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>:3

your real honest opinion on David's character. GO!

I feel like this implies I've been trolling everyone for the past 6 years about how much I love this silly lil guy. Is there supposed to be a /j at the end of that, anon??

Bestie I would not put this much effort into a troll ever 😭 like do you think I sat there and made a whole comic series for a funny little gag??

In case this is genuine tho:

LONG READ AHEAD

cuz of course. You give me the chance to talk about David and I'll TALK

My real honest opinion on David

Paradise

Silly funny fella. Goofy as hell. I think you can read David's attitude multiple different ways in Paradise. To some he comes off as just an asshole

To others he's just a kid being a kid

I personally read his character as somewhat sarcastic and spiteful towards Jakob. His smile? Sarcastic. His "it's been a while brother"? Sarcastic. "I hope I'm not the one who died tonight" while knowing full well it ain't him? Sarcastic.

I'll talk about this more later when I talk about Mr. Rabbit!David.

David has the characteristics of most youngest siblings; He's annoying, he's childish, maybe a little spoiled and needy for attention too.

Not to jump ahead in this analysis and all but in Birthday, the box he needs has text on it that reads "hungry ghost", "ghost who is unable to be reborn" or preta. They're often spirits of people who died full of greed and jealousy. In Japanese, a preta is also "a spoiled child" or "brat"

Based on that information I thought maybe David was jealous of Jakob cuz he wanted to be the golden boy, ya know?

Tldr;

Paradise!David is just a funny lil guy who most likely harbors negative feelings towards Jakob who overshadowed him despite not even being there.

Mr. Rabbit

Who David is now. An older more mature David. Something clicked in his brain and he realized 'okay actually we're all fucked. Peace out guys I'm looking out for myself.'

Brown Rabbit:

I feel like he represents the last bit of David's naivety, innocence, and child-like spirit. The white rabbit (David from the future) sees that rabbit get killed from the window. He can no longer deny what's happening. The child within him he used to retreat to when things got bad is dead. There's only the white rabbit now

I feel like that's also something represented in David's masks

The older he gets, the more devoid of joy he becomes

He becomes more and more aware of his situation.

As a child, you have the blessing of ignorance. That's why the world feels like a safer more colorful place to you until you grow up and you can no longer protected and shielded from the world.

To me, I think that's where David's trauma comes from. His ageing and how fast he's had to grow up and become a man, despite his attempts to remain a child.

In paradise, it's likely he was still pretty much "fingers in ears going LALALALALA" with his eyes closed tightly.

Brown rabbit is all that remained of his ignorance, and now it's gone, leaving behind only the White Rabbit. The David that knows and acknowledges the cruelty of his life. A ghost of his former self.

Speaking of:

White Rabbit

What are we but the products of our traumas and life experiences.

The white rabbit, David from the future, is on a journey to save his soul and be reborn. Obviously, the goal of all the corrupted souls. There is a soul we know succeeded in that and was, in fact, reborn. And that soul is Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was the collateral damage in a battle she had no hand in. She is probably the most innocent victim in all of this family feud going on, and I think because of that, Jakob allowed her to be reborn.

Something he did not allow David to do. I think it's safe to say Jakob and David do not like each other. Seems like David's plans clash with Jakob's and so he has to be taken out of the picture, and yet, David always seems like he has tricks up his sleeve.

Somehow, David is able to go back in time to save himself. What happens after that? We don't know yet

You could argue that he failed and died in the blue cube memory of Birthday. Or that he is simply still out there rn waiting for his story to be told. Both are true cuz that's the nature of Rusty Lake.

David seems to be on his own grand journey, stuck in his own Paradox, desperate to find a way to he reborn.

The thing that stands out of course is David's corrupted soul, or rather, the many different forms of it:

This is probably due to there being multiple different David(s) from the paradoxes he's lived through.

But what is the White Rabbit David if the brown rabbit is David's reborn Asura? Is the white rabbit not his Asura too?

Hard to say. We never seen a corrupted soul take form like David's white rabbit one before, and even more than that, one that retains autonomy. After all, David had enough control over himself to write and leave Dale a letter, meaning he is fully aware of what he is doing. Yet he is prone to violence the way regular corrupted souls are.

It's likely the white rabbit is an advanced form of a corrupted soul, probably the last stages before rebirth.

That or.... Well.... It's just a mask. After all, in Paradox, David spoke with a regular human voice over the phone, meaning he was not a corrupted soul.

In that case tho, if he was already reborn... Why did he say he needed to escape his current "hungry ghost" state?

Obviously Paradox is the most unreliable game narratively cuz you're just going through Dale's jumbled up memories. It's likely he's just recalling an actual conversation he had with David on the phone at the time (which still makes no sense cuz that would mean at the time David was still a human. Or it means he's recalling some conversation he had with David at some point in his life, not necessarily Birthday. OR... That's just a memory the machine is feeding him and it never really happened. Point is, paradox can't be used as a fact for anything)

Timeline is fuuuucked when it comes to David's story so uuuh

We don't know where he is now, what actually happened to him, or wtf is going on with him.

What we do take from his whoooole story tho:

Conclusion

(you did it, chat. You made it this far into my rambly post!!)

David is a really cool and very interesting character that might not appear to be so on the surface. You only really get how complex his character is when you think of everything that has happened in the games. He has a story that is either left for us to piece together or is still not yet fully explored.

To me, David is a character born of defiance and rebelliousness, as well as the need for survival and self-preservation. He is someone who has challenged his own fate, knowing damn well he's up against higher powers, but still taking the chance to save his soul. He is resilient, and stubborn, and just won't accept his fate and die. He has challenged his position in the food chain, a rabbit who is meant to be at the bottom, proving that he should not be underestimated. To me, that's worth loving and admiring. AND IM CHEERING HIM ON! GO DAVID! GO! IM SO PROUD OF YOU MY SON!!

And that's my real honest opinion on David

Thank you for reading.

requests 2: electric boogalo

(sure wonder whos hand that is...) I forgot to screenshot this request before deleting it from my inbox. I think @sunriseindigo requested their fav lil guy Min, but if it wasn't you uh. Hope whoever did request it sees this! I went kinda hard on this bc I have posted Min on this blog ONE time. and that's a crime.

forgot to screenshot this one to, but an anon suggested: Hu patching up Ace after he falls off of a horse. I feel like even if Hu and Ace don't get along, she'd try to come to his games to support him once in a while as the mom of the group! (even if Ace is her least favorite child.) In like 90 degree heat she'd pull up, with enough sunscreen and waterbottles to keep everyone in a 70 mile radius hydrated and safe from skin cancer. And she wouldn't hesitate to help Ace if he gets hurt, ofc!

...

I really fucked up with forgetting to screenshot a good amount of these. whoever needed a pic of Nico beating Ace in a fight, I delivered! The tone in which you asked wasn't too serious, so i hope a shitpost is sufficient for your needs.

(someone requested sora and yuki from sdra2 in drdt and im gonna make that its own post. so just know u were seen anon. also person who asked for more ace and eden, same thing.)

i can always draw Whace. they are my everything.

mans even singing it wrong 💀 (thanks for the request i love whace sm im glad they remind you of u and ur bf :D)

in a better world, Arei is talking to her therapist about Hopes Peak drama rn. (i love drawing arei thank you anon)

honestly this ship had never crossed my mind. i couldn't rlly think up anything too cute for it so i went silly instead kjfaljdf (thanks for the request @weightedblankettt, I LOVE THAT ONE FIC YOU WROTE WITH LIKE THE NICO AND ACE SWAP THING. i literally went "OH MY GOD???" when i saw you sent in a request fkhfla /pos)

Hello again @xmicrophonyx :)) thanks for another request

I feel like Xander would buy a skirt to wear to a protest or something and then he'd go "wait but it matches my hair..." and then wear it like just out and about sometimes. Whit would just have one I think. Just randomly bought it and wears it. And Levi literally makes clothes, so I'm sure hes made a few dresses for himself just to test techniques and such. Ik you didn't ask but I felt like explaining my choices for who I drew 🫶🏽🫶🏽

Ur so right actually. I feel like Veronika would be like "Ohhh weird morally gray old man??? ILY." and he would actively detest her. thank you anon i haven't drawn a soy-bean (syobai) in a loonggg time lmao

Ajhskjfafksaflsga gay peiple. i love them. i really do. thank you anon. gay oepeple. aughgshah. /POS

(people who follow the despair time art tag rn ^^^^^)

Thats it for now!

still doin these so send in some more requests if you feel like it fellas <333

Anonymous asked: 💖💖💖💖 pcrplevenom asked: 💖💖💖

send a 💖and the mun will talk about a random mutual they love and appreciate!! || Accepting

Oh??? Bet ??? 

@fearedelight ;; Honestly was SUPER intimidated by them because they looked SUPER cool but oh my god I ???? adore them to pieces ??? They were just so sweet and friendly when I approached them and the fact they talked to me instantly about a plot idea I just ??? weeps. Also god let me tell you the silly lil threads, crack or not, are a blast. Definitely make my day a lot better bc they genuinely make me laugh. 

@pompedia ;; Love for Pom ?????? you fucking BET. God I was scared of her for a LONG while but I just { grabs and shakes her affectionately } Love her writing and just all the thought and love she puts into muses, she's a BLAST to talk to oocly and has helped me SO MUCH with learning photoshop and photoscape ?? Def glad I met her and I am NOT letting her go until she kicks my ass to the curb LMAO.

@monmuses ;; THIS WHORE RIGHT HERE { affectionate }, one of the few people that helped me get out of my funk along w/ some others and god I cannot be more grateful. She saw me at my worst and stuck with me regardless. Because of her I had help making proper choices when it came to making things better for myself like choices to cut off those who had hurt me. She's super supportive and a WONDERFUL friend. Not to mention her A+ writing { even if she is on semi-hiatus rn }

@demondads ;; SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM, a goofy lad, a fun guy, always livens up the dash whenever he's around with his silly lil fellas. I hold him up like simba, look at him, look at the fella. Never forget Lucifer Harem Applications JKFDGHDFGHJ. But genuinely, he IS a joy with both muses and talking oocly !! 

@xluciifer ;; Luci, a total sweetheart. For as much as I { affectionately } bully them, I think they're a total sweetheart and a joy. Her shenanigans never fail to make me laugh. I LOVE seeing her threads on the dash and just seeing how much love and care she puts into her muse between threads and headcanons I just ??? I don't regret following for a second.

@mghtfall & @pantheon-panic ;; another duo that if one gets something nice then so does the other. Zander and Alastair have been nothing but kind to me, and while I'm still nervous about talking to them I do very much care for them. I love their muses and their writing, it's always very nice to talk to them both on the rare chances I do but I do hope to speak to them more.

@waywardsculs ;; and finally for this one, Ritsu. Absolute dear really, love seeing them on the dash and while I'm still sort of scared to approach { because believe me, I do want to approach and MAYBE ship if I can think abt who to send at you }, I absolutely adore seeing them on my dash even if it's just silly lil things. Also I'm taking that flamethrower away from you ma'am.

Just watched bsd s5 ep11 and i have alot of words.

YOPY GODISKSOEOFJFJDN AHAHHHHHH BRAMMMMMMM OMG EH FOA WLLYL FOGT HID BAODY AND AYA AN DALL THE OTHER BITCHES ARE kiven O, SK HAPPY WHATTSUDJNEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Second of all,

Asagiri are u slash ess arr ess or slash jay you couldnt even give them a day of peace what the shit man

Who the dog was that floaty dude also fukufuku realness i knew fukuchi was a great character u fukuchi haters are such meanies give a silly old man a chance

Chuuyas teeth r gonna be spiky forever he was so silly this episode i genuinely couldnt breathe watching that bit

Chuuya ur a great actor wow you had the whole fandom fooled

This means that dazais gay ass speeches were literally for no reason and he was just being a little simp for no reason this is hilarious

ALSO FYODORRR NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NIKOLAI LOOKED SO FUCKING SAD AFETR HE DIED

Also someone please go help sigma

I bet fyodor isnt really dead though or sigma finding stuff out abt him will be pretty damn pointless if his ass is already dead

Akutagawa changing his clothes???? Is this a dream????? Also howd he change in 2 hours where did he get that shit from

So happy kunikida and tanizaki are alive

i KNEW FUKUXHI WAS A GOOD LIL FELLA

I teared up a lil when teruko started crying shes so sad i wanna hug her :(((

The flashbacks of them as kids got to me they were such little guys who jus wanted to be happy asagiri ill never forgive you for this why

Seeing kenji and techou made me happy so ill forgive this episode for now but ill definitely be cryjng about it later

ANYWAYS i was squeeling like a schoolgirl this whole episode so all in all pretty satisfied

I winder if the manga will be the same or if that was just an anime only ending

I hope this doesnt mean that theyr all actually still dead or ill literally end it all

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Bee Movie

According to all known laws of aviation... eh, forget it. You know the rest.

So uh... Bee Movie is surprisingly pretty good? Yeah, I know, I'm surprised too. I mean of course, Bee Movie is an Iconic Staple of Meme Culture and for good reason, its humor is just... probably some of the most insane shit out of Dreakworks ever (more on that in a bit). But it's also a pretty compelling roller coaster ride of a movie that held my rapt interest the whole way through???

So what's the story here? Barry B Benson is a bee who ventures outside the hive and meets a florist named Vanessa, whom he of course falls in love with (and she falls for him too, its fuckin weird man). Eventually, Barry discovers that humans make a profit off the backs of bees by selling their honey, so he decides to sue the entire human race. Yeah that's really the fuckin plot they came up with. It's fucking wild, man, from start to end.

Our characters here are just as wild to match that crazy ass plot. Barry is a snarky lil fella, but you can tell he cares about his... people? Bees? Idk man this movie has short circuited my brain. Anyway, Barry is a fun character to follow as our main. Vanessa is a little less developed and kind of all over the place personality wise, and well... she falls for a bee. Enough said. Barry's best friend Adam is cool, almost dies from stinging a guy, so that's fun. We also have Ken, Vanessa's ex-boyfriend who literally gets cuckolded by a bee this movie is actually insane.

The comedy here is just... ridiculous. Again, there's a reason why this movie has produced so many iconic memes. I cackled out loud at some of these jokes and references, many of which I imagine would probably go over a kid's head (the Sting and Ray Liotta jokes especially like... c'mon those are some deep cuts). It's kind of breaking the recent trend I've been noticing from Dreamworks where they're aiming down for a younger audience. Instead, Bee Movie harkens back to their earlier movies, aimed more at adults with blink and you miss them naughty jokes that are actually really funny here?

The animation is also like... insanely impressive for the time this came out? Some of the camera angles and movement on these bees is just... amazing? The flying scenes really make you feel like you're flying along with Barry, taking you through densely colorful and sometimes actually beautiful setpieces. I also enjoyed the worldbuilding inside of the hive and all of the little devices they use to produce honey. I feel like this movie is doing what Antz was trying to do, but accomplishing it so much better, with way less Rancid vibes than Antz had.

The music is also fairly solid, not as many pop songs as you'd expect from a memey movie like this, but the ones that are very are pretty good and backed by a competent score. I think my biggest gripe with this film is... well, it's a little all over the place and out of focus? Like one minute it's about Barry struggling to figure out what he wants to do with his relatively short life, then its about him falling for Vanessa, then its about suing the humans, then its about restarting pollenation so the entire planet won't shrivel up and die? (yeah did I mention this film has an environmental message?) Really, this movie is kind of just... a jack of all trades and a master of none? All of its various plots are ok, but none of them are standout fantastic. It's just... a little messy??

But really, I did enjoy myself watching this movie. I didn't think I was going to, because its been years since I've seen it and well, the internet rags on it all the time, but it's surprisingly well-made! It really is Dreamworks at their most Dreamworks (warts and all) and I think that's a testament to why its so memorable (in both good and bad ways lol). Anyway I just got one last thing to say before wrapping up this review:

Ya like jazz?

Overall Rating: 7/10

Verdict: Watch the Entire Bee Movie but every time they say literally anything the movie starts over until you die

Previous Review (Shrek the Third)

Next Review (Kung Fu Panda)

Bottom of the barrel isekai: b-rank adventurer with an evil look becomes a daddy to the protagonist and his childhood friend.

Well if i'm reading it, that's a goddamn lie, hello! Pull up a chair, drink my tea, piss on my wife, you have the most control in this world because you are the specialist lil fella that can do not a lick of wrong! It's time for another bottom of the barrel isekai review! Today, you can read the title above, go fuck yourself if you think im going write it out every single god damn time.

Come out boys, girls and some other thing, frogs? Is that what the enbys like these days? Frogs? Anyways let's do the song and dance!

Our titular main character is a dude from japan, they wasted their live away being a disgusting fucking neet and playing video games all the live long day, being a whale in pirates 101 and domeing me from across the map as widow maker on royal!  

Anyways he fucking Dies and gets reincarnated in the game he and his singular friend dearly loved known as bright fantasy, now as we can see in the picture above, perhaps he reincarnated as some sorta giga god, perhaps his party abandoned him because they didnt understand the monumental boon a tax accountant has in another world… perhaps he was summoned by the king to Fuck his wife for him! 

Wait a second… is that a sharp detour…? FU-

Anyways gray is reborn as a Thug Npc, or someone with a dark background, his looks mean, he has a average appearance and some fucking sick shoulder gaurds.  He is a moody lil nobody, which is why it's such an insane hook to see it open with two children begging to be adopted by him in the opening

Now before you get too scared that we are running into uncharted territories since we haven't had anyone betray anyone and the MC has not turned god inside out, we get to dive back into the cool cocoons of familiar fantasy tropes with the adventuring ranking system. I'm not going to bother to explain it, if you got a letter grade in school then you know what it means. Get close to the A and that means you are the Big Boy adventurer who does the Big Boy quests. 

Now i do appreciate the authors restraint and only making him the Second Biggest boy and attempting to make him Not A Twink

We almost have a guy who is on a bulk and not a cut, sigh, one day. 

Anyways we pull back ground tall dark and who cares to learn that these two are matchstick kids. Dead broke kids who are attempting to sell flowers they have picked to the people on the street. They were attacked by nobody you are going to remember and get healed by gray. They then decide to beg him to save their ailing parents because I guess wonka isn't around to give golden tickets to get them out of bed or whatever. 

They tell them their names, one of them has the super special name of the Super Main Character. What a coinkyDink. Gray knows that if he is to be a villain (???) then his job is to avoid it. Luckily he went to the Katarina claes school of villainy and decided that ethical action is actually more important than meta narrative logic. 

Cut to Tiny tims lakeside property and we see the rest of the family living the fucking dream!

I'm so sorry, i have this mental tick where i accidently say “dream” instead of “nightmare”.

Also Stella is a vampire, why? Fuck you thats why. 

They explain that they have been getting by by the skin of their teeth through a combination of the street urchin grind set of selling flowers and getting church donations. Gray beats up some assumed child abductors outside and gives a somewhat creepy smile. 

Next chapter is about Gray stealing an orcs' balls to create a high end potion (viagra) to nobles so he can get enough money to buy something called a “home”? I'm not sure what that is exactly, i'm not sure what the translator was talking about, i've certainly never heard of someone “buying” or owning one for certain.

I don't actually have much to say about this guy, this is the guy who makes the ball potion for gray, I just like him, he has a funny face, I like looking at it. He looks like someone I would trade yugioh cards with while he tells me about his super cool oc and I would listen because he is a fun dude. 

But yeah, the manga is mostly about this guy being a slightly more psychotic late stage kratos, being a dad, trying to raise a bunch of random kids he found, trying to give the main character a taste of normalcy before the plot kicks and and shit goes sideways, oh and sometimes he brutally kills people. 

His main goal is to have a family and that's about that. 

So let's start getting into things. 

The title has no interest in creating an expansive world that is original, everything of it is meat burrowed and stitched into its own narrative to support its own plot line and to explain why this happens and why that is occurring at this point. Now I do not believe that this is inherently a bad thing. In fact it's fine. Not every single manga needs to be the next genre defining piece of media. In fact we need things that are average, we need things that build the genre or else we can never have exceptions to the rule.  The magic system, the team system, the classes, the guilds, the plot, it's all what you would expect from something with final fantasy inspirations. Semi (not really) complicated fighting systems that only make sense to pad out the loving tedium of a game. “Complete this many quests of this level to rank up.” “collect this many monster parts to complete the quest” and so on and so fourth ad infitum until god has to pop out and ask what the fuck is going on. 

The art is great in places. Most of it is very bog standard, you aren't going to get that much out of it if you are expecting groundbreaking designs that really make you scratch your chin in wonder at how they made something like that up. But it's very clearly competent and knows how to give each of its characters that needed cover before you read the book. People that need to look like unlikeable thugs look like unlikeable thugs, children that need to look sweet and innocent look sweet and innocent. The artist is really good at goofy expressions but they are a bit few and far between to really satisfy my desire for evil fucked up faces, oh kekegurui… if i didnt hate your plot so much i would be so much more obsessed with you… 

The tropes I've already gone over. It uses every single trope but more so in the way someone would do if they were playing a new game plus. You don't want to do the rigamarole of the heroes rise so you make them overpowered and whatever so they can get to the stuff that you have deemed important, that being fatherhood simulator and housing market simulator. The world is secondary to the plot the author wants so they grab the tropes they want to ensure they can focus on that part of the story with impunity while hand waving some other things and give ol daddy gray his badass moments to make the editors happy that this is infact enough of a power fantasy. You know, to keep those freaks that actually buy the manga happy. 

As for kink stuff, none that I can see. The author only seems to want women to fawn on the main character so they can complete the golden vision of the dead emperor abe of the nuclear family, perhaps hoping to tempt his blessing from beyond the grave… 

This was a little bit of a boreing read. I cant entirely recommend it, but if you want to see some edgy boredline twunk be a dad to a bunch of random kids he adopted then yeah, go for it lmao. 

reintroducing this fella here but hey meet the updated latest tower foe, Pesto La Pasta! Time for a summary! Pesto is a humanoid plant (or a plant person) from space! Having crashed down as a seed from the atmosphere (alongside many other plant people) in an asteroid, the plant people landed right in Fun Farm, where they were discovered by a young Vigilante and his grandfather. Being low on funds and with John growing older/unable to work at the time, Vigi and John planted the seeds out of curiosity, and that’s how the plant people were born! For many years, long after John’s passing, the plant people tended to Fun Farm as thanks to the two in exchange for being taken care of. Being plants themselves, they had intricate knowledge of how to care for crops which brought great profit to the once struggling farm. Eventually, of course, things had to go south. Cue Pizzaface and Pizzahead arriving to ruin it! The plant people were swiftly captured and were held in captivity while Pizzahead decided what exactly he was going to do with the poor saps. Out of the bunch, Pesto had some shining potential. Despite being one of the smallest plants (yk small usually is connected to being weak), Pesto was anything but. With frightening intelligence and strength, Pizzahead was immediately fascinated by the little guy.  Pizzahead ended up making majority of the plant people into guards for Fun Farm, with a little catch. Having done experimentation on a few of them (to an extent), he ended up creating a chemically modified form of chlorophyll that he injected into the plants. This chlorophyll basically made any one of them a ticking time bomb into becoming gargantuan plant-like monsters whenever Pizzahead fancied. It kept all of em in check of ever getting rebellious. With Pesto, however, he gave the little guy the duty of being a spy. (The reasoning behind this is mostly cause he could. If the guy made a clone of Pep just to fuck with him, who’s to say he won’t send a spy to do the same thing? It was also just cause, since Pesto seemed to be cooperative (even if out of fear) and had the ability to fuck shit up without the need of the chlorophyll. I mean, he still injected him anyways. Gave him a bigger dose, actually.) Ontop of all of that, he went through quite a bit of training and kind of got rewired mentally and morally. Plus, he physically matured a bit (warmer coloring of his skin and hair.) thanks to said chlorophyll. Being a spy, Pesto was meant to document all of Peppino and Gustavo’s progression through the tower and whatever information Pizzahead could have used to make it harder for them. (Cause he can.) The role of a spy would have been easily done since Pesto’s got good factors going for him: Visually appealing (cute lil dude), emotional detachment (sometimes purposeful,) great negotiator, real strong, y’know the works. The beginning of his mission, Pesto was roughed up by Pizzahead and tossed into one of the barns on Fun Farm, where he was discovered by Gustavo. Gustavo was quick to go the compassionate route and take Pesto under his care, even though Peppino was highly suspicious of taking in anything or anyone from the tower. Gustavo took care of the little guy and cleaned him up, giving him a new set of clothes. Since they were (mostly) consistently on the go, they took Pesto with them (once Gustavo was sure he was okay enough to come along.)  Over the duration of their adventure, Pesto worked behind the scenes like he was supposed to, while growing closer to his “buddies” (even if he spoke in garbled gibberish that they couldn’t really understand. If you need an auditorial example, it’s kind of like how an Inkling would sound.) He grew especially close to Peppino, who eventually began to open up more and more to him. During those times, Pesto felt genuinely cared for. Though that didn’t do anything to divert him from his mission at first, he began to have second thoughts about betraying them soon after. Finally, just before the final encounter at the top of the tower, Pizzahead went ahead and came down to visit them. And very nonchalantly might I add, confessed that Pesto was a dirty traitor. It was just then that Pizzahead triggered the chlorophyll response in Pesto’s body and caused him to transform. A vicious fight broke out then and there. (Which notably consisted of Peppino being painfully tied up in vines while Gustavo and Brick had to sort things out.) At the end of it all, Pesto ended up restraining himself to try and have the group to escape. (This included him cutting Peppino down from his binds, which hurt like hell and cause him to start bleeding which made the aggression worse.) Sort of frustrated, Pizzahead set his little spy ablaze to get rid of Pesto and made a quick escape. (Plant people are very afraid of fire and not to mention very vulnerable. Oh, but Pizzahead also gave Pep n the gang a way out of the blazing inferno so they could tussle.) Escaping from the fire, Peppino and the others were convinced that Pesto was killed. After the crumbling of the tower, Pesto’s memories with the two were still present even though they believed he was dead. (He’s like the Luigi of the group, if it matters. Of course, Peppino was very, very bitter about the betrayal even if Pesto seemingly stopped himself out of regret. Gus was hurt and confused, not so much angry.) Turns out that a part of Pesto survived the fire. Fun thing about plant people like this is that even if their body is destroyed, if a part of them remains exposed to sunlight and (i guess rainwater), they will regrow. (Pizzahead’s chlorophyll made this even more possible since it gave Pesto more body mass.) Pesto slowly regrew over the course of time, till he finally was back to his regular self. The chlorophyll that he was injected with had died with the rest of his body, so this new Pesto doesn’t have that crazy transformation potential anymore. He has everything else though.

Though Pesto longs to reunite with Pep and Gus, he’s ashamed of what he brought upon them so has kept his distance from the two ever since. But who knows what would happen if they cross paths again? Anyhow, hope you like him!

KR: Character Info: Shroom-Koopa Alliance

Sorry bout the wait! here it is!

Ex-Queen Peach Toadstool - Straight to the point, and somewhat jaded, Peach still has a bit of a haunty side..but she's been slowly working on it. She's trying to be 'nice' but...really it's just hard right now just give her a break. - The born heir to the throne of the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach grown up to well..the ideals the King and many of it's subjects had for her. Koopas bad, power is good, that's all she grew up with. Loving Mario...that was her greatest mistake, and that combined with all of the revolutions...kicked her off of her throne. And that's where our story begins. - Has no mastery over her given heart power, and at the beginning of this tale, can barely even use it. - why no of course she's not slowly having feelings for the nice turtle man whaaaaaaaaaaat - Appearance: Think of her casual wear from Super Mario Odyssey, expect a bit more grime and dirt on it, a knapsack at her side, and a knife hidden in her shirt pocket. Carries her parasol with her at almost all times.

Koopa King Bowser Koopa Sr. - For a guy feared and hated by many of the Shroomian inhabitants of the land and it's allies...he's really not a bad guy. He's just a single dad, trying to take care of his kids and his kingdom, and helping the former queen get back on her feet. What could go wrong? Certainly not love... - The King of the Koopas hatched from an egg shortly after the death of his father. Raised by his father's royal advisor, he was nurtured with love and taught to treat everyone kindly, because even the worst people have good inside of them. He took this to heart, and now teaches the same lessons to his own children. He applies this lesson daily, as he attempts to make peace with the tyrannical King Mario. - He still has a bit of a temper, but currently he has it more under control. Still wouldn't recommend pissing him off, however. - Appearance: Just think of regular Bowser, only with a blazing red cape trailing him, and the swooped hairstyle he had in Super Mario Odyssey. (Idea by Loog/Keeb, one of my co-writers!)

Royal Wizard Kamek - Kamek serves as the guardian of the Koopa Royalty, often assisting King Bowser or Prince Junior in all sorts of ways. While he may be occasionally fed up with nonsense coming from the royalty or the King's subjects, he does all he can to ensure the royalty's safety, as well as the kingdom's prosperity. - The royal assistant, wizard, and father figure to King Bowser. Kamek's role in the kingdom changed after the coup, becoming the main strategist and executioner in regards of movements against the Mushroom Tyranny. While he hides it pretty well, Kamek could not bear if anything happened to the Koopa Court. - Appearance: Kamek's outfit is hardly changed from his original form. However, in order to boost morale and keep a trustworthy appearance (plus to make himself look decent), he uses his magic to look younger than he actually is, managing to keep a straight posture and sporting short, black hair. (Idea by Co-writer, Marie)

Royal Servant Toadette - The only Toad that decided to travel alongside the former queen, it is..very unclear how she feels about it all, but she always seems to have a chipper attitude about her situation. - On the surface, Toadette seems as sweet as pie, very much loyal to her former Princess. However, beneath the surface, she's rather bitter, and if she's pushed to far, who knows how much longer she'll stay loyal... - "oh look at the little fella OH SHES KINDA A LIL FUCKED UP-" - Appearance: Just think of regular Toadette, only with a bit more of a tattered coat. Keeps a picaxe on her.

Prince Bowser Koopa Junior - Junior looks up to his father in every possible way. He tries his best to be kind to everything, though sometimes his immaturity can get in the way. All Junior wants in life is for the stupid Mushroom Kingdom to stop messing with his Papa so that they can all just relax. Junior is also very creative, and loves to draw. - Prince Junior was born roughly around the same time his seven siblings were adopted into the family. As such, he's had many role models in his life. His siblings taught him how to defend himself, Kamek taught him how to stay safe, he taught himself how to draw and paint, and Papa taught him to be kind to everyone. - Appearance: Junior is mostly the same, save for his bandana being swapped out for a red cape much like his father's (Idea by co-writer Loog/Keeb)

Aaaaand that's all for this post! Soon I'll post more about our villains, but of course, these fellas do have a lot of other allies, this post just- got a lil long. Haha. Enjoy~! 

Free! Boyfriends protecting their s/o from a creep/bully -part 1(Haru, Makoto and Rin)

Enjoyyyy ❤️

Haru

B: Hey there kiddo! Whatcha got there~

Y/n: (whispering and wrapping your arm around Haru's) Haru.. That guy is creepy…

B: (Walks up to you two) Wassup mate! Where you two goin?

Haru: None of your business…

B: aww, cmon! Let this cool guy join yall as well! Right? (Tries to poke your cheek)

Y/n: hands off please

Haru: (eyes the man scarily)

B: Heyy! Don't be like that now~ I'm just a poor ol chap, let's be friends ey?

Haru and y/n: No thanks( keep walking away)

B:(grabs your arm) C'mon brooo let's click some pics together? Just your friendly neighbourhood homies, am I right?

Haru: (stops and you quickly whip the man's hand away) You're bothering y/n. Stop it.

B: Y/n is it? Such a cute name for such a cute lil fella~ (eyes you)

Y/n: Ok that's enough, you're a fucking pervert and nothing more

B: Dang, this one's got a sharp t-

Haru:( Throws a fistful at the man's face, hitting him dead on the nose, causing blood to shoot out) Look at y/n once again, and your eyes will be next

(The creep passes out and Haru quickly calls the police, who reach there within minutes, and arrest the man. After the police leave, it's just you and Haru again)

Haru: y/n? You ok??

Y/n:(crying softly, you bury your face into Haru's torso) I'm…I'm so.. Scared…

Haru:( wrapping his arms around you and walking with you) He's gone now…it's ok…I'll protect you

Y/n: (you sob softly and hug him tight) Please…stay with me…

(Haru hums your favourite song as he holds your hand gently and pats your head, embracing you in a much needed, comforting warmth…)

Makoto

(You spot your bully in a corridor, as you and Makoto walk through the hallways of your college)

Makoto: y/n? Is something wrong?

Y/n:(whispering) that guy…he's the one who…picks on me a lot…

Makoto: ohhh, don't worry y/n, I'm here now. He won't do anything to you.

Y/n: (you shift closer to Makoto)

B: Oh hello there~ who do we have here?

B:Y/n~ and who's this with you? Your boyfriend??

Y/n: Jealous that you can't pull one?

Makoto: (elbows you) Sorry, I don't suppose we've met

B: Eh, that doesn't matter. But tell me. Why would you date y/n here? Like look at him/her. So nerdy lol.

Makoto: Who I date is my choice, and y/n is perfect as he/she is.

Y/n:(smiles at Makoto, and a rage builds up inside you) Thank you mako~

B: pfff- this one? Perfect?? Bro you gotta have the worst vision if you think that. Look at em! (Grabs your specs) how many fingers~

Y/n: oh no you didn't-

Makoto: (places a hand on your shoulder and smiles at you. Then sternly looks at the guy) please give back y/n's specs.

B: hmm since you asked so nicely~

Y/n: (you put your hand out, expecting him to place them on your palm) That was nice of you

B: (smiles and throws it into the garbage can)~Then you can catch it yourself!

Y/n:( you gasp and launch yourself towards your glasses, and thankfully catch them before they fall into the garbage can) Whew! That was a close call…

Makoto: (grabs the collar of the bully and picks him up, dangling in the air) That's not very nice of you now…

Y/n: I've kinda had enough of you, why not finish this game today?

B: Ngh! Let me down or I'll report you to the principal for trespassing!

Y/n: (winking at Makoto) Sure! You do know there's cameras here sooo if you want the principal to check them…then…oh wait! They also captured you "accidentally" throwing my glasses into the bin…tsk tsk tsk.. What a shame if the principal sees that right?

Makoto: (hangs the collar of the bully onto a high hook) Y/n? Don't you think he looks good as a decoration there?

Y/n:(laughing) oh yes that's perfect lmaooo!!

B: hey!! Get me down!! You'll pay for this!!

Y/n:(tying his shoelaces together) yes yes short stuff, it's ok, we know that you have anger issues cuz your size doesn't sustain the amount of steam you release, how about chill….a little…pfff-

Makoto: (lets out a snicker, then inches close to the bully, looking at him dead in the eye and smiling) Jokes aside…I get one more complaint from y/n about you, and I'll drag you into the deepest depths of any water body you swim in next…

Y/n: (laughing) Cmon mako! We have other stuff to do~

B: ….

(You and Makoto walk off, laughing and hugging. Meanwhile, your bully tries to unhook himself from the wall. He manages to do it after a while, as his collar rips and he falls down in an angry heap. As he gets up and tries to chase after you, he trips on his tied shoelaces and falls face first into the garbage can)

Rin

(*Cracks knuckles* this will be fun :) )

(You and Rin are walking along the narrow Street, trying to get home faster so you can relax alone together. However, someone is following you as you notice…that someone is also awfully familiar)

Y/n: C/n(insert the name of the person who you'd punch the lights out of)?? What are you doing here??

Rin: Hm? Who's this?

Y/n: The guy in my class that kept bothering me. What's up? Why did you follow me here after college?

C/n: Y/n~what do you mean~ you know that I love you , don't you?

Rin: (shooting him a displeased look) Oi, don't you know that y/n has a boyfriend??

C/n: yeah, that would be me hehehe( walks towards y/n)

Y/n: back off bud, I don't like you. I made it obvious enough

C/n: Nahh don't be like that. This guy? Pff- what can he do? He's just a big ol "just for show". I can protect you better lol, now come, let's go out-

Rin: (grabs his collar and glares into his eyes) Listen here.. If I see you around y/n, there will be consequences, which I won't be responsible for. Don't tell me I didn't warn you…

Y/n: Don't worry c/n, I'm sure you'll find someone better, someone who loves you too, but I'm already taken. So please, now if you'll excuse us.

(You and Rin leave him and continue walking down the path, but you hear footsteps running towards you from behind, and you quickly warn Rin)

Y/n:(jumping to one side, dodging c/n's hold) What the heck?!

C/n: Okay so then have this guy fight me. I'll give up if he beats me.

Y/n: don't bring him into this. I'll fight you if you want

Rin: (walking towards him) Alright. Heh, let's see whatcha got then.

Y/n: Really?

Rin: He wants it?

C/n: Hehe! I'll beat your ass eas-

Rin: (trips him with a sweep kick, and then gives him two powerful punches on his face) You were saying?

Y/n: (recording the entire scene, just in case)

C/n:(groans) heh..

C/n: (kicks Rin from behind, causing him to growl in pain) now's my chance to run…ugh…I should give up…

C/n: (hissing into Rin's ear) oh, and you better take good care of y/n…Or I'll make sure next time I'm prepared for you

Y/n:(You rush to Rin's aid, now carrying a wooden bat you found nearby in your hand, going for a strike, but c/n runs way too fast, throwing Rin off over a small patch of broken glass) YOU LITTLE-

Rin: (Tries to avoid falling into the patch, but still gets cut by a few pieces of glass) GGAAAHH!!

Y/n: (picks him up and helps him balance on you. You help Rin walk and you both reach home after a few minutes of struggle)

Y/n:(quickly calls a doctor and pushes Rin into the shower, first aid kit in hand)... Rin…I'm so lost..

Rin: (fiddling with your fingers) tch…don't worry y/n.. That guy got lucky…

Y/n:(washes off the dirt and filth when you spot blood on his hair) Rin….. Oh.. No….

Rin: what is it??

Y/n:(starts to tear up) Your head…it's bleeding..

Rin: (touches his head and looks at his hand, blood stained on it) Ahh fuck.. It's not much though…will heal…

Y/n: (starts to cry softly) …. I'm sorry…

Rin: (holding your cheek gently and wiping away a tear) hey…shhh…I'm fine! See??(stands up straight, though he can't move much. He immediately falls down on the chair)

Y/n: (doesn't say anything, just helps Rin clean himself and takes him out into the living room, waiting for the doctor to show up)

Rin:... Hey? Are you just going to sit there like that?

Y/n: (shaking your head) Please…just…Let me be…

Rin: (shifts closer to you and kisses your forehead) Y/n…c'mon.. It's not your fault…

Y/n: you're so right…. You shouldn't have accepted his dumb challenge…

Rin: (giggling) Hey so now I'm the one at fault?

Y/n: (breaking down into tears again, but you hug Rin tightly) Stupid…. Idiot…. I love…. So much…. Please…. Never…..again!!

Rin: (gently runs his hand through your hair, smiling) I love you too y/n…and I'll protect you from anyone who tries to hurt you..

(Soon, the doctor arrives and picks out the glass that went into Rin's skin. He praised you for being quick in action and using first aid, as well as keeping the shards in place to prevent more bleeding. He operates on Rin for some time, and then finally concludes the visit by giving you some painkillers, antibiotics, and applying dressings on Rin's injuries. You text all your friends about the incident and make sure that c/n received a punishment for his actions. After a while, you are sitting next to Rin, tending to him, as he tells you that you're the most important thing to him, and he'll do anything to protect you….)

Tipsy Lair Review for @dreamslayer-fr!

Thanks for tha CR. I'm always delighted to look at your lair.

Accidentally posted a link but like, sure. Anyway. FUCK YEA. DOUBLE ELDRTICH GEN 1.

Everyone knows ol Kai loves g1s. I also love a dragon with a backstory, and Sana has a good one. Thief/merc with morals, who befriended a harpy. V nice. V nice.

Ohh I love me a pretty tundra. Oh look, here's one! Honeydew petals is simply one of the best colour/gene combos out there, and it has been for... god, so many years. I have a honeydew petals tundra of my own actually! Because they deserve to be rainbow bicorns.

I started writing then realised that Bloom does NOT have a bio. WHOOPSY. Whatever. She's great.

To make up for that I'll throw out right here that I love your mooshroom tuntun man in the same lair. Precious.

...It's DEFINITELY cheating to pick dragons I made for sale but I will say it brings me much serotonin to see them so loved in your lair. Okay.

ONWARDS

She looks so cool! And she's named after one of my favourite animals in the world! I once more made an oopsy and thought I had a bio to go off of but I don't so instead I'm gonna say that the thought of a pirate captain who is also a deep sea eldritch monster fucks severely. That's what her amazing look inspired me to think of. Hell yea. Belladonna is so gorgeous too. Wait. Did we talk about them on discord? I think we did! Or I'm just drunk. Shit. Whatever, I love them.

Wraith is so fucking handsome!! Look at him!! LOOK AT HIM. May your eyes be rended from your skull in flame like his. You will never see something more divine. Anyway I love g1s.

I've seen this fella in your lair before but I'm gonna be honest. I NEVER notived he was a gen 1 before now. Fire/Fire/Metals? That's fuckin awesome. What a guy. I see he is also a cute lil owlman. Please tell me more.

I LOVE YOUR LAIR

Hello Jeremy! You are such a cutie pie!! Let’s meet those campers! Who do you got in store?

JEREMY: Aw thank you :D this little guy is Alex

ALEX: helloooo!!

JEREMY: he'll be staying in cabin-A with the boys

JEREMY: FELIX- put that thing outside!

FELIX: he's not hurtin' anybody

BUTTERS: well- he's kinda cute what's your name lil fella?

FELIX:....... Kevin. :) his name is Kevin now

KEVIN: 👁️👁️

KENNY: he named it now you can't get rid of him

TOLKIEN: I don't think having a possum in the same place you sleep is hygenic

STAN: let the man have his possum tolkien

JEREMY: Just- don't let Robin or Wally see it- and keep it away from Alex he doesn't have a great history with animals-

FELIX: Aey aey captain

ALEX: -._-.

JEREMY: anyway- me and Robin took some notes of any problems the kids have and other stuff that should be noted, I guess they may have gotten a hold of them-

JEREMY: moving on! On the other side of Cabin-A we have Cabin-A-2 :) this is where the rest of the boys will sleep

JEREMY: hello boys! ^^ are you all settling in alright?

TIMMY: TIMMAH! :D

JIMMY: o-oh yeah Jeremy were D-D-doing just fine :)

PIP: and with cartman in a separate camp I haven't been picked on even once today!

JEREMY: that's nice Phillip

CARMEN: whachya doing there Thomas?

THOMAS: I'm trying to draw a picture of one of the girls I saw on the bus but- COCK SUCKING TIDDY FUCK- I keep messing up the lines :(

JEREMY: it's alright buddy you can't help it, don't let it get you down ok? :) keep at it you'll get it

THOMAS: thank you Jeremy :) SHIT FUCKING DICK TWISTER!!-

ZACK: I may or may not be tripping absolute BALLS right now, but you'll never know :)

JEREMY:... was this before or after you got on the bus?

ZACK:..... Huh?

JEREMY: never mind-

JEREMY: unfortunately there wasn't enough space for all the boys in the A Cabins- so we had to put one or two in Cabin-B

JEREMY: there are less girls in our camp, probably because the rest of them decided to sign up for Camp Bimbo across the lake-

JEREMY: despite the slightly questionable name- it was a woman who named it so I guess that makes it slightly less offensive ^^

JEREMY: welcome to Cabin-B, how are you guys?

BEEPBOP: He feels bonita. :3

ANGEL: I feel bonita :)

ANGEL: also who are you again?

JEREMY: I'm a camp Counselor for this camp- you sure managed to fit right in haven't you? ^^

BEEPBOP: Hehe he even let me paint his toes :3

JASMINE: hey uh Jeremy next time you see Felix make sure to tell him to go fuck himself for me ok? 🥰

JEREMY: Oh- uhm- can I ask why?-

BLAKE: they broke up on the bus ride here.

BLAKE: it was tragic

BEEPBOP: I literally had to rip up the ship art I was drawing :[

JEREMY: well- I'll make sure to tell him in a more.... Nicer- way ^^

_________________________________________---------------------------------------------------

[Blake Fatima, Beepbop Torres and Jasmine Katz belong to

[Zack Tucker, Carmen Stark and Angel Groves belong to

Someone asked about it, so here's some context! I'm gonna split the hcs about the au into characters and story so it'd be a bit easier -

Billy

Billy in this au is in college. He's there there so he could be an actor! Now technically you probably don't need a degree to become one, but he really just kinda said fuck it and went to get one anyway.

He did it end up starting it a bit late due to some family issues.

He still makes fun of Romeo and Juliet. So far that he still goes "I should've been Juliet!" Bet you could hear some of the sorority girls roll their eyes at his rant about the movie. He rants about it anytime you mention it to the man

Jess do be his bestie even though he makes fun of her accent- He usually gets told off by Barb since he for some reason has one like a British professor

He can weirdly mimick anything he hears perfectly. Claude? He's got you. Anyone in the sorority house? Yep. He can do that. Which is why everyone in the house thinks he has a promising career up ahead of him

Claude only hangs around Billy. No one knows why. That's why he's termed as the "cat king". Also because he'd come back with cat fur all over his sweater

He's tired asf but still fabulous

He's also basically friends with everyone in the sorority house due to just being really social. Though he does have those days where he's just like "go away :(". This mainly happens when he's stressed or just not feeling it that day

He's actually pretty smart since he'll just start analyzing anything he randomly takes In interest in. The girls usually ask for help or just borrow a note sheet he might've written notes on. Though sometimes it's not helpful since 1. It could be about anything and 2. He absolutely hates it if you go through his stuff. So you'd have to ask him for one

Maarten (or our moaner in this case)

Now this man is tall. Very tall. No one knows how he's managed to walk around and about In the attic. If you include his flip outs as well. But man he's pretty stealthy

How did a Dutch man get all the way in Canada on his own? No one knows

He's obviously pretty paranoid. Just even the thought of being spotted makes him freak out a bit

His calls are just like the original Billy's. But he will up the anti If he so ever feels like you're not effected by It. He'll even alter It a bit if you tell him that you're a guy

Instead of his past being like Billy's however, his is more so has violence. Which is where the line "You violent little shit!" comes from.

Has stolen Claude away for a bit. Usually whenever he feels cold. Otherwise he let's Claude go if the fella wants out of the attic

has a lot of bandages due to accidentally hurting himself up in that attic. Smashing glass, falling asleep on the floor on his arm, anything.

He tends to sing a lot. He only does it when he's the only one at the house of course

unlike Billy, he will respond If you start questioning a bit. As in he gets worse

Story (giving everyone a lil tidbit!) Tw for cussing and Maarten overall being deranged- If you've heard the Billy phone calls you'd know what I mean

-The party had been pretty boring for Billy. Of course it was fun discussing stuff with everyone, but once the girls started bringing up their boyfriend's.. He just got pretty bored. He sat on the couch with Claude in his lap. Claude was vibrating. Of course he was just happy to get attention. Billy on the other hand had been zoning out. He wanted to go up to his room. But if he did he'd certainly be asked about It In the morning. He sighed. He hoped something eventful would happen. Or for the party to just end already. But to his surprise, It's like his prayer for something eventful had been answered. Not in the way he thought though.

The phone rang. Billy's brain perked at the ringing. Someone calling this late? Who could it be? He carefully removed king Claude from his lap and got up. He walked up to the table holding that phone. He answered the phone in his usual happy voice. "Helloo?" Oh, the insanity that phone call was. It started out with noises. Random noises. Laughter. Pig oinks. The girls had gathered around at that point. Finally, the man on the other end had finally said something at least understandable to hear. "Let me lick It, lick it! Let me lick your pretty piggy cunt" Followed by laughter and repeating of what he'd just said previously. Billy just laughed a bit. "I mean.. I'd be down if you go for guys" Billy said jokingly. The horror in the girls eyes when Billy said that. Billy was used to these prank calls. Hell, he's watched past friends make them. That was his usual response to said call. Everyone hoped the man on the other end would stop. But.. He didn't. "Oh? You want my juicy cock anyway? Or do you want me to beat you senseless?"

Billy felt himself go cold. "E-Excuse me?" Billy asked nervously. It's been awhile since he's had to deal with... Threats. The look of horror just grew on the rest of the girls faces. "Yeah! So you want me to? Huh? You filthy fuck?!" The man on the other end asked ever so tauntingly. Barb rolled her eye's and took the phone. "How about you go somewhere else for whatever the fuck you're on about" She hissed. His taunting didn't stop. "How about you suck-" Before then, Barb had interrupted him. "Oh go stick your dick in an electrical outlet and see If that gives you a charge" The girls laughed a bit at that. Billy giggled quietly. But he still had a nervous smile on his face. There was a short silence on the other end. "I'm going to kill you" The man on the other end said before hanging up. The way he said that was.. Frightening. So.. Normal. Before that the man had been speaking in different voices. Barb at that point just put it back. Of course as usual, an argument had started after a few bickering. With Claire leaving the room to get packed In the end. Billy at that point nervously sat on the couch.

Jess took note of It. She leaned down a bit. "You should probably head to bed.. You look tired. Especially after hearing that" She whispered. "Thank you.." Billy thanked before getting up. He started heading up the stairs. Of course, Claude noticed and followed. Billy started thinking. He remembered talking to a man about his missing brother. Could that be him?.. It was impossible. The guy he was told about disappeared at the age of fourteen. All the way In the Netherlands mind you. He just couldn't think that he'd somehow get all the way here. As he thought this he'd finally made it to his room. He let Claude in before closing his door. He walked over to the bed and laid down. Claude jumped on his chest immediately. Billy was used to that. He sat there. Creaking came from the ceiling above him. He started getting nervous again. Only to reinsure himself that the attic was old.. No one could get up there without being caught. He still couldn't shake off the feeling of being watched though....

Cries in centaurworld...did you have any interesting takes whilst watching it monarch...

not particularly i sat thru a lot of the end not emoting or anything just tears streaking down. some thoughts tho ig

1) happy for zulius n splendib.Growth🤌🏾

2) astounding music not a shocker really idk what i expected

3) speaking of music the reprises of songs sung in season one MAN

4) love a tragic love story that shit hurted. esp the scenes of tnk losing his antlers and whatever ol girls name was missing them and then the final scene of their arc where she steps to the shadow of his antlers and kills him MAN 2x

5) woobyfied rider

6) comfortable doug i love u never change absolute icon

7) i didn't really realize how much I loved wammawink she's literally so cute her lil peets also 'babygirl'

8) THE DADDLETON MOMENTS unexpected but i like that it was done. stabby<3

Jealous Guys

Something I’ve been thinking about for a while now is the different ways jealousy manifested for John and Paul over the course of their friendship.

I’m going to look at John and Paul in turn and have a look at some of the key ways jealousy appeared, before, during and after the Beatles period. This will be a looooong post so if you want to go on deep dive keep reading below.

John

Jealousy was something that John acknowledged as a big part of his personality, as far as I’m aware, he only acknowledged his jealousy publicly in terms of his relationship with Yoko but I believe jealousy was a feature of all of John’s major relationships. John’s first real partnership was with Pete Shotton, his childhood best friend, and Pete has outlined how John’s jealousy and possessiveness was a feature in their friendship with them falling out when Pete first started showing interest in girls and with John acting out when Pete started to spend more time with other friends, instead of him, here Pete recounts John’s reflection on this period of their friendship:

“Years later John confessed to having felt acutely jealous throughout that interlude: “I was scared shitless I’d lost you after our fight in science class, when you starting playing with David Jones. I really thought I’d gone too far with you that time.“

Pete Shotton, John Lennon: In My Life , 1983

Pete’s recollections establish a pattern in John’s life of acting out due to a fear of abandonment and losing those who are closest to him so it’s not surprising that once John had formed a strong bond with Paul that would stir similar fears in him. 

Below I’ve categorised the groups of people that were the focus of John’s jealousy and have picked one person from each group as an example:

Family - Jim McCartney

Paul’s family was and continues to be a big part of his life. From the outset of their friendship, John was made aware of how important Jim was to Paul and vice versa. John and Paul had to skip school to hang out together because Jim wouldn’t have John in their house initially and John confessed his resentment of Jim’s influence over Paul’s life. It appears that after some time John grew tired of having to contend with Jim for the position of the most important person in Paul’s life, and this culminated in John giving Paul a pseudo ultimatum as John discussed in 1971:

“But Paul would always give in to his dad. His dad told him to get a job, he fucking dropped the group and started working on the fucking lorries, saying, "I need a steady career." We couldn't believe it… “So I told him on the phone, "Either come or you're out." So he had to make a decision between me and his dad then, and in the end he chose me”

St. Regis Hotel interview, Sept. 5, 1971

Friends - Mal Evans

Throughout the active years of the band it was typical of them to refer to each other as their best friends and, given the lives they led, I think the simple fact that no one else could understand what it was like to be a Beatle would have meant they all shared a special bond. However, they all had friendships outside of the band and this was something that could cause issues for John when it came to Paul.

According to Tune In, Mal initially became friends with Paul during the band's initial shows at the Cavern Club then, after a suggestion from George, Mal became a part of the Beatles entourage thereafter. Mal had friendships with all the Beatles, as part of their inner circle, but from his comments it appears John took umbrage with the closeness of Mal’s friendship with Paul:

“Paul would suddenly come in with this circle saying, “This is Magical Mystery Tour, will you write that bit?” And I was choked that he’d arranged it all with Mal anyway, for a kickoff, and had all this idea going”

St. Regis Hotel interview, Sept. 5, 1971

Mal also comes up when John discusses his recollections of the writing of Eleanor Rigby:

“So rather than ask me, “John, do these lyrics—” Because by that period, he didn’t want to say that – to me. Okay? So what he would say was, “Hey, you guys, finish off the lyrics,”... “ Now, I sat there with Mal Evans, a road manager who was a telephone installer, and Neil Aspinall, who was a not-completed student accountant who became our road manager. And I was insulted and hurt that he’d thrown it out in the air”...” There might be a version that they contributed, but there isn’t a line in there that they put in.“

Playboy interview, David Sheff 1980

John’s discomfort with the closeness of Paul’s relationship with Mal was something that wasn’t lost on Mal’s wife Lil:

“He was always at their beck and call. He was a nice fella to have around, so much so that it could provoke little jealousies within the band. When I met Yoko years after Mal died, she said John had told her he’d been very jealous at one point of Mal’s relationship with Paul.”

Lil Evans interview with Ray Connolly, 2005

Love interests - Linda McCartney

Throughout their friendship both John and Paul had quite a few love interests, which (to varying degrees) prompted jealousy between them.

Although John displayed jealousy of a few of Paul’s love interests this was no more apparent than with Paul’s first wife Linda McCartney, which is confirmed by both John’s words and actions regarding Linda and her partnership with Paul:

“"Then Klein informed Lennon that McCartney had secretly been increasing his stake in Northern Songs. ‘John flew into a rage,’ recalled Apple executive Peter Brown. ‘At one point I thought he was really going to hit Paul, but he managed to calm himself down.’ One unconfirmed report of this meeting had Lennon leaping towards Linda McCartney, his fists raised in her face"

Peter Doggett, You Never Give Me Your Money

"Int: When did you first meet her [Linda]? John: The first time I saw her was after that press conference to announce Apple in America. We were just going back to the airport and she was in the car with us. I didn't think she was particularly attractive, I wondered what he was bothering having her in the car for. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she's married him."

St. Regis Hotel interview, Sept. 5, 1971

“I was reading your letter and wondering what middle aged cranky Beatle fan wrote it... "What the hell—it’s Linda! . . . Linda— if you don’t care what I say—shut up!—let Paul write—or whatever.”

"Of course, the money angle is important—to all of us—especially after all the petty shit that came from your insane family/in laws—and GOD HELP YOU OUT, PAUL—see you in two years—I reckon you’ll be out then"

Draft letter from John Lennon to Linda McCartney, circa 1971

"The presumption is a) the Beatles would get together again or are even thinking about it and b) if they got together, John and Yoko split, Paul and Linda split"

John (with Yoko) talks to John Fielding on Weekend World, 1973

"John often speculated on why Paul and Linda remained married while, at the same time, resenting their evident happiness, to the extent that he had Green do a tarot reading to ensure him that Paul and Linda were really secretly miserable and were going to divorce within a year"

According to Fred Seaman and John Green, source

Paul

Of course jealousy wasn't a one-way street in the Lennon-McCartney relationship. Unlike with John, for Paul I'm focusing more on the key people I believe his jealousy, regarding John, was directed to:

Stuart Sutcliffe

John met Stu at Art College and struck up a really close friendship with him. At the point that John met Stu, John had already become friends with Paul so Paul felt threatened when Stu entered the picture:

"When he [Stu] came into the band, around Christmas of 1959, we were a little jealous of him; it was something I didn’t deal with very well. We were always slightly jealous of John’s other friendships.

When Stuart came in, it felt as if he was taking the position away from George and me. We had to take a bit of a back seat."

Paul McCartney, Anthology 2000

"Paul was saying something about Stu’s girl – he was jealous because she was a great girl, and Stu hit him, on stage. And Stu wasn’t a violent guy at all."

John Lennon, 1967 Anthology 2000

"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I’d believe him. We were awful to him sometimes. Especially Paul, always picking on him. I used to explain afterwards that we didn’t dislike him, really."

John Lennon, The Beatles Hunter Davies 1968

Yoko Ono

Of all the relationships I've already discussed, the relationship and jealousy displayed from Paul towards Yoko is probably the most widely discussed in Beatles historiography and general discourse. From the official start of Yoko's relationship with John in 1968 it was clear that Paul resented her presence in John's life and her proximity to the band:

"He even sent them [John and Yoko] a hate letter once, unsigned, typed. I brought it in with the morning mail. Paul put most of his fan mail in a big basket and let it sit for weeks, but John and Yoko opened every piece. When they got to the anonymous note, they looked puzzled, looking at each other with genuine pain in their eyes. ‘You and your Jap tart think you’re hot shit’, it said."

Francie Schwartz, Body Count 1972

"Cause she’s [Yoko] very much to do with it from John’s angle, that’s the thing, you know. And I – the thing is that I – there’s— Again, like, there’s always only two answers. One is to fight it, and fight her, and try and get The Beatles back to four people without Yoko, and sort of ask her to sit down at the board meetings. Or else, the other thing is to just realize that she’s there, you know. And he’s not gonna sort of – split with her, just for our sakes."

Paul McCartney, Let It Be Sessions, 1969

"I told John on the phone the other day that at the beginning of last year I was annoyed with him. I was jealous because of Yoko, and afraid about the break-up of a great musical partnership. It’s taken me a year to realise that they were in love. Just like Linda and me."

Paul McCartney, interview with Ray Connolly, 1970

What are the similarities and differences in the way jealousy manifested for John and Paul?

I think it's obvious but bears repeating that both John and Paul displayed jealousy towards other people who they felt would threaten their relationship so that's central to all the instances I have flagged, Jim, Mal, Linda, Stu, Yoko all posed real or imagined threats to John and Paul's partnership.

However, you'll note that I included more sources to display John's jealousy regarding Paul and that I categorised John's jealousy targets whereas I only pulled out two key individuals for Paul, this isn't to say that John was more jealous than Paul was, as jealousy isn't something you can quantify, but to highlight my opinion that Paul's jealousy regarding John was more targeted than John's jealousy regarding Paul. I think what stands out to me is that, I think generally Stu and Yoko are held up as the prime examples of Paul's jealousy of other people getting close to John, as far as we know, Paul never had significant issues with other people who formed close relationships with John like Pete Shotton, Cynthia Lennon, Magic Alex etc., why was that? I think that Paul was more threatened when he felt that John was replacing him so by bringing Stu into the band (even though he wasn't a musician) and Yoko into the studio (one instance where Paul was especially hurt was when John gave Paul's line in The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill to Yoko to sing), Paul perhaps felt that his place as John's primary collaborator was in jeopardy and that he could lose a partnership that had become central to his self-worth as a person - that, I believe, was when his jealousy was most likely to rise to the fore. John, on the other hand, had a much wider range of targets when it came to jealousy regarding Paul, why was John jealous of Linda? Linda wasn't trying to replace John as Paul's collaborator, if anything she wanted the Lennon-McCartney partnership to be stronger. Why was John jealous of Mal? Mal wasn't a musician, Mal was a huge fan of the band and constantly worked to fulfil their requests, so why was John so threatened by his friendship with Paul? For me, John's jealousy regarding Paul was more than just a fear of directly being replaced, I believe John's jealousy was fundamentally triggered by a fear of abandonment. I think the childhood trauma John experienced, of being left by both his parents, meant that whenever any of his close friendships and relationships were threatened, or he felt that someone close to him may leave him, he would act out. John fell out with his childhood best friend Pete when he got a girlfriend, John hit Cynthia when he saw her dancing with Stu, John was rude to several of Paul's love interests and ultimately John never fully accepted Paul's relationship with Linda because, although he could see that she could offer Paul the family life he always wanted, John didn't want Linda to take Paul away and give him a family that meant that Paul would no longer be able to prioritise John in his life as he had in the past.

Ultimately, we'll never know all the ways that jealousy factored into John and Paul's relationship with each other and those around them, as I'm sure it impacted several relationships in more complex ways than I can articulate (i.e. I suspect jealousy played a part in Paul's initial resentment of Brian but they grew closer over time so maybe Paul's jealousy lessened over time or Brian became less of a threat?). I do think it's important to consider that jealousy was present on both sides and was likely a factor in the breakdown of John and Paul's relationship, the breakdown of the Beatles and was a continued factor in disrupting reconciliations between John and Paul into the 70s and 1980.

Trial by Fire (Part 1/3) Santiago “Pope” Garcia x GN reader

Summary: You’re finally introducing your new boyfriend to The Boys. It must be intimidating for your guy because, hello? Not only are they literally lethal, as well as infeasibly handsome, but they’re hella protective of you to boot. They want the best for you so, naturally, they make your guy run the gauntlet the whole evening. Santiago, though? Well. Given that he is secretly in love with you? Let’s just say he doesn’t handle the situation very well at all.

Genre / tropes: angst, friends to lovers, love confession.

Author’s note: I wasn’t planning on writing this (in fact I’m writing the opposite, where “Santi has a new girlfriend and you don’t take it well” as a series, loosely based around the 7 deadly sins); but, in the meatime, I wrote this to get back into the swing of things after a lil break. It’s just a quick one, but there will be a second and final part, if you want it! Let me know!

Word count: somehow, 4.4k.

Warnings: language, angst, best friends arguing, Santi being an asshole.

Rating: T

The boys aren’t being as awful as you had anticipated, at least. For the most part, they’re actually being pretty friendly, and although they’ve transitioned into grilling Dean about every aspect of his life, they are at least listening intently and smiling at his answers. All except for one fucker, of course; and, naturally, surprising no-one, the fucker misbehaving is one (1) Santiago “Pope” Garcia. 

The group - the boys, yourself, and Dean- are huddled comfortably around the blazing warmth of the fire pit in Frankie’s yard. The dancing, oranged flames cut through the dark and cold of the crisp night, as you sit upwind of the smoke on scattered, mis-matched camp chairs.

Whilst the others are evidently enjoying the evening -faces painted with smiles, body language open and leaning-in to chat to Dean- that fucker Santi is leaning back in his chair, his jaw twitching in seeming aggravation, his arms folded, and his intense eyes needling your beau. In this dim light, with the firelight licking over the sharp planes of his face, he looks every bit like a trained killer about to leap out of the shadows and garotte someone. Well… a very petulant trained killer. His call sign should have been Mr. Grumpy Pants, you think idly.

What’s up with him this time?! you wonder.

He gets these moods sometimes. And, when it strikes him, he can be a little bit hostile - despite the fact he’s a puppy underneath it all. You had hoped that for once, maybe he would suck it up, and yet, your hopes had been in vain, it seems.

Every time Dean speaks, or touches you, or even laughs at another of the guys’ stories, Santi’s expression sinks further and further through layers of distaste; and, by this point, he’s eyeing Dean as though he’s a war criminal the squad have been sent to take-out. You half expect him to leap up and take down Frankie any second for fraternizing with “the enemy”, if you’re honest.

Truth be told, you’ve had just about enough of this. Your friend had better buck his ideas up, sharpish, or he’d be reminded very swiftly that you were Delta Force too.  

For now, trying to ignore the bastard, you look back at Dean, and the sight of him in animated conversation with your buddies causes at least some of your aggravation to fall away. Things have been going well between you and Dean, even if you do say so yourself. Originally from Michigan, he now worked as a lecturer at a nearby music school. He was also a banjo musician in a bluegrass / synth power-pop mash-up of a band, which (sort of) explained his retro-inspired mop of brown hair and his thick dark moustache - majestic enough to rival Frankie’s. True, he wasn’t your usual type, but he was honest, and sweet and kind... Plus, he’d never killed anyone with his bare hands, which was rather refreshing too, if you were honest.

Safe to say, so far, things were working out. So well, in fact, that you’d recently met his parents for the first time while they were in town. So well, in fact, that -after keeping him purposefully away from the boys for as long as you feasibly could- you’d now brought him to meet your family. That’s what this squad was to you, after all. Your family.

Remembering sporadic moments from the past few months together, you smile gently as you listen to Dean talk. You watch him seamlessly integrate some tailored conversation starters you’d fed him ahead of time, and you gently squeeze his thigh in an act of reassurance and appreciation. He is feeling the pressure, you can tell, although he is handling it well. To be fair, you think, who wouldn’t feel the pressure? You’d been nervous enough to meet his parents, but this? A bunch of Delta Force guys and an MMA champion? This squad was lethal; literally -you’ve lost track of your combined kill count, though Will probably hasn’t, you are sure.

Aside from that though, most of all, they are your family. You need them to like Dean and vice versa, and you know that isn’t necessarily a given. You are a tight-knit group, with little hope of outsiders grasping the full extent of your decade’s old in-jokes, or the intense camaraderie instilled by facing a hail of bullets together. Plus, as the baby of the group, they were protective as all hell of you.

It came from a good place, you knew: they wanted what was best for you. But, there was a reason you’d delayed this meeting... It’s not as though they were threatening or anything. They didn’t do the whole “if you hurt our buddy, I’ll kill you” thing, for example (at least, not while you were present – you couldn’t vouch for what happened when you were out of earshot).  However, after introducing a succession of boyfriends to them over the years, the squad had developed a well-rehearsed system for sizing-up your new squeeze. In the past, not all of your squeezes had made it through the gauntlet. It was a trial by fire, to be sure, and you were pleased that Dean has not yet been burned.

Of course, whilst the boys’ approval didn’t mean everything to you, you couldn’t deny it was important; perhaps especially this time, with this guy. And, out of all of the group, Santi’s approval meant the most to you. Always had. Probably because Santi meant the most to you, full stop. You simply couldn’t imagine having someone in your life that didn’t get on with your best friend. And, so, you are not overly thrilled at the reception Santi is giving Dean right now. The reception he had been giving him all evening, in fact. And the more you dwell on it, the more an anger bubbles forth from you. Even though you try to push it down, and focus on Dean, that fucker in the corner of your eye sends you.

“What’s wrong with you tonight, Garcia?” you blurt out, a little louder than intended, causing the amiable chat and giggles to stall, all eyes turning to you - then, in turn, following the direction of your fiery gaze over to Santi, who shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

Now, he leans forward. Looks back at you with a rare venom in his eyes. With a smug curl of his mouth, he dips to pick up his beer from the floor and takes a swig - buying himself some time. Trying to brush you off. Still, your gaze does not relent as he rests his elbows on his thighs, bridging his fingers together in the space between, thumbs sticking in the air.

Now, he engages, and he looks directly at Dean, his eyes sweeping dismissively over the entirety of his form. Now, he speaks, his voice filled with far more bitterness than the situation merits. “Nothing at all. I’m fucking peachy. So, Dean. You play the motherfuckin’ banjo?” he offers, and yet, it sounds far more like an accusation than a question.

What the fuck is up with him?

Wilting a little beneath Santi’s stare, as the ex-operative squints his eyes in his direction, Dean casts a helpless, sideward glance at you from his place in the circle, and yet, you are so stupefied by anger that you can do little to help.

“I think what my dear friend means to say -” Frankie dips in valiantly, smacking Santi pointedly on the thigh, likely hoping to smack some sense into him too “- is why don’t you tell us more about your music, Dean?”

Frankie’s eyes and smile are soft when he looks at you, surreptitiously exchanging a pointed look -what’s up with that pendejo?- and you are grateful that at least some of the evident tension is diffused when he picks up the slack in the conversation.

Santi and his mood swings be damned, and, feeling bolstered, Dean continues on.  

“Actually, it’s going pretty frickin’ well with the band. It’s a side-gig to my lecturing job, but we’re planning a tour during summer vacation. The States -east coast- and Western Europe for now. Maybe headlining a couple of small festivals, if that pans out, who knows.” Dean relates, humbly.

“That’s great, man,” Will chips in, helping Frankie get things back on track. “We’ll have to come down to a gig soon, hear you play.”

“Actually, we have something to tell you about the tour, don’t we, babe?” Dean says bashfully, and he looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to pick-up the thread. You’d talked about it before coming today, and it had seemed like a great idea at the time, but suddenly, now that the announcement is imminent, your mouth is dry - as if filled with cotton. Still, you force a smile, and you’re not sure why, but you look anywhere else but at Santi as your lips form the words. “Yeah – kinda big news, fellas. I’m going to join Dean on the Europe leg of the tour. I’ll be leaving you losers behind for a few months.”

Dean’s face cracks into a smile and he reaches for your hand, looking made-up at the prospect. Still, while you will yourself to be fully present in the moment, you find yourself focussed on looking anywhere but at Santi, sure that his stare must be boring into the side of your head. You hadn’t told him yet. Unfortunately, at Santi is where just about everyone else ends up looking, as the fucker abruptly pushes his camp chair back and stands, storming indoors before anyone can hope to fathom it.

You exchange glances with Frankie, Will, and Benny, with Benny thankfully stepping-in this time to distract Dean from the obvious, and asking him which stops you two will be making, and which sights you plan to see.

“Look, man, don’t mind that tool. Got any sightseeing plans?”

What is Santi’s problem? Why can’t he give Dean a chance? Yes, you’ve made some mistakes in the past- been hurt, and Santi had helped you pick up the pieces -every time- but you had a good feeling about Dean. A really good feeling. Can’t he see that too?

Frankie throws a concerned glance back towards the house and motions as if to stand, but you beat him to it, wanting to get to the bottom of this. “I’ll go,” you insist, motioning for Frankie to stay put, and with a quick promise to Dean that you’ll be back soon (and a silent plea to your boys to take care of him in your absence), you do just that, walk-jogging across the grass.

When you step inside to the kitchen, you find Santi stood, hunched over the counter, his palms clasping the surface tight enough that his knuckles pale, and his head hung low, his shoulders rising and falling as he takes in exaggerated breaths.

“Well?” you ask pointedly, with zero tolerance for his bullshit. “What’s going on with you? Wanna explain why you’re being an ass to my boyfriend?” you challenge to the back of him, and he instantly whips around at the sound of your voice. 

“I’m being an ass?” he asks indignantly, his eyebrows shooting towards the top of his head. 

“Yes. In a nutshell. Yes,” you hiss, any other interpretation feeling impossible. You fold your arms and purse your lips, making it plainly evident that you are waiting for some explanation. And, oh boy, it had better be good.

Instead of explaining though, Santi simply huffs out breath, gesturing angrily out of the window. “That guy, really? That’s the guy you’re gonna go all in for? Go to fucking Europe for?”

That guy, you mouth silently, completely stupefied for a moment. You’re not sure exactly what your so-called friend is insinuating, but you are clear that you don’t like it one bit.

“What is your fucking problem?” you ask, punctuating your words with motions of your hands, as if you are trying to strangle the air in-between you in lieu of his neck. “Dean’s a catch. He’s hot, he’s sweet, he’s a nice guy. He’s there for me. He takes care of me.”

“Like I don’t take care of you?!” Santi exclaims, his voice rising and abrasive; and then, immediately after the words tumble forth from his lips, he steps back imperceptibly, as if startled by his own outburst, his hand rasping over the stubble on his chin.

“What in the...? This isn’t about you, you ass!” you bite back, face scrunching up in confusion. Your fingers come to your temples as you grow increasingly lost-off and perplexed, and seemingly, your riposte only makes Santi double down on whatever the hell he is complaining about.

“Who’s the one who’s always been there for you, hmm? Who picks up the pieces every time you make yet another dumb shitty choice with another shitty guy?” he rambles, gesturing his hand towards you dismissively.

You step back from him this time, just a little, tears spiking instantaneously in your eyes at such an unnecessarily cruel blow. He’s right, in a sense: you had always relied on Santi to heal you, not to hurt you - and yet here he was dealing these painful, incoherent blows out of nowhere.

“Shit, Garcia. If it’s that much trouble to be there for me don’t bother next time,” you snap, your voice breaking as the swell of anger and hurt and adrenalin sends tears spilling over your cheeks. “Don’t worry though, I don’t think I’ll need you again. In fact, I have a feeling this guy might stick. So, maybe? Maybe you should think about the fact that the only shitty guy around here is you.” 

“You really think he’s good enough for you, hmm? He’s really who you want to end up with?”

You listen, aghast, as his tirade keeps coming. However, as Santi’s voice breaks with emotion part-way through his second question, you can’t explain it, but you feel an intolerable sadness in the pit of you. Even though you’re not sure what’s causing all this, what you’re barrelling toward, you want to thrust this sadness away from you. Push him away from you.  You want to push away the knot in your stomach for fear that if you tug at that thread, you might arrive at an answer to his question.

Exasperated, overwhelmed, you roughly paw tears from your cheeks, not knowing where all of these feelings are coming from, in either direction. “Fuck, I... I don’t understand what this is. I don’t get it!” you say, waving your hands, palms-up, through the air. “Is this some macho bullshit? Have I pissed you off somehow?”

At that, the wave of Santi’s anger crests and breaks; as you wonder if you annoyed him. Then, as suddenly as his anger came it is waning, his eyes pooling with rare tears now. With a huff of breath he tears off his damn cap, tossing it aside to run a hand through his grizzled hair. 

“No. No,” he backtracks a little, palms up in surrender. “You haven’t... I.... I just...” He pinches his lips in-between his teeth and looks up at the ceiling as his words trail off, perhaps trying to steady his voice before continuing. Or, perhaps he has nothing else to say to you. Perhaps he’s said enough.

You examine him. Still pissed as all hell, but worried now too, and ultimately, your love for your best friend slightly edging-out the anger. It’s rare that anything affects him like this, and you can’t help the sudden rush of concern.

Cresting too, you exhale a tightly held breath into the now silent, taut space between you, and your body sags - just a little. You chew over your words a moment, but when your voice comes back the volume is lower, your tone softer - and, although it cannot be considered friendly, by any stretch, it’s the best you can do right now.

“You know what,” you offer, generously, wrapping your arms around your own middle, stroking your forearms with your own fingertips. “I’m giving you a pass. You don’t even want to give Dean a chance? Then just leave, Santi. Just go. I’ll give the guys some bullshit excuse that doesn’t leave you looking like a total ass, because I’m not a dick to my friends. So just go, okay?” You pump your eyebrow at him indignantly and await a response, your manner stiff and unyielding.

Santi closes his eyes and knits his brow together, something like regret finally passing over his face and he shuffles guiltily from foot-to-foot.

You puff out air through your teeth and shake your head, as you observe this Delta Force hero; the bravest man you know in many ways, but still too cowardly to tell it like it is. To admit that he’s in the wrong. You are afraid to say that even as his gaze comes back to you, misty-eyed, you have little sympathy for his plight. You are sure it is of his own doing. You are almost as sure that he won’t open-up.

“You know,” you begin, breaking from your position and gathering up a fresh cooler of beers from the fridge, turned away from him as you speak. “I brought Dean to meet my family. Do you understand that? I didn’t have parents and siblings for him to meet. I have you guys. You’re my family.”

Still nothing. Nothing but silence greets you. Nothing but a pained expression on his face, his brows drown together and the artificial light of the kitchen highlighting the harsh planes of his face as you look over your shoulder at him, waiting for some reaction. Some admission of guilt. None comes. He simply slots his hands into his jean pockets, looking sheepish.

“So,” you continue, greeted with a brick wall, “fuck knows why you don’t want me to be happy, but I am. I’m happy with him. Thanks a ton for shitting all over that.”

You don’t even bother to look towards him this time, instead placing the last of the clinking, condensation-adorned bottles into the carrier, resigned to head back out without him, and without any apology.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says, and your head whips towards him in surprise.

He looks it - sorry. He looks apologetic. Deeply so. He looks sorry for this, for every way he’s ever slighted you, for every time he’s hurt you, even in ways and moments you never knew about. He looks sorry down to the pit of him, and it catches you off-guard when you see it freely offered there in his eyes.

Even so, this is a stubborn man. There’s an apology, but there’s no explanation. Nothing to explain his behaviour. So, even though it seems genuine, it also doesn’t seem like enough.

It doesn’t appease you, and yet, all you can bring yourself to do is sigh deeply.

You know Santi better than anyone, but there’s always been a part of him that has seemed out of reach, even to you. You’re not sure -never have been- whether to be scared or excited by those unknown parts of him. Not sure whether the impasse hints at buried secrets too dark and deep to bear, or whether it hints of a possibility of something more. Something deeper or something better you could have together, if only he would let you in. You don’t know, and you never have, but all you are sure of is that you have constantly teetered on the edge of that abyss, too much left unknown to know all of him, however much you may have wished to. He’s entitled to his secrets, of course, but you hate how they hurt him. 

With a little sympathy now, you examine his watery eyes, and when your voice comes back this time, it is softer and slower than you intended. More tired than you expected.

“You know, Dean wants to be with me. And he tells me so.” You casually dip down to pick-up the cooler handle, eyes still fixed on your best friend. “He might not be Delta Force… he might be a banjo player from Michigan… but even he’s brave enough for that.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Santi says, bristling all over again, his hand rasping angrily over his stubbled jaw, and yet, you decline him an explanation. Instead, keeping your own secrets now, holding back, you head towards the door, beers in hand.

Still, you turn back to him. You might be angry, but you still care for him -more than you could say. 

“If you figure out what’s up with you, let me know, and I’ll be there for you. Whatever you’ve got going on, you know that, right? But this? This isn’t okay, Garcia. You might think that I make dumb choices -you ass, by the way- but I’ve watched you hit self-destruct so many times instead of dealing with your feelings. Maybe you should look at your own life, huh, instead of shitting all over me for trying to be happy? Shit, at least I fucking try.”

His eyes shift from side to side in the room, the muscles in his jaw twitching, chin jutting forward, and his thumbs locked in his belt loops. He can’t quite bring himself to meet your gaze; at least not until you are disappearing through the threshold; until it’s almost too late. Why can’t he ever manage anything unless it’s too late?

“Wait!” he pleads, but you cut him off, before he can speak. Even though, truth be told, you’re not sure he would muster anything to say at all, even if you gave him a chance. He’s so used to holding back.

“No,” you say firmly. “Forget it, I’m done. I still love you- you’re my best friend. But, fuck, just go home, and get out of my sight, Santiago. I’m so pissed with you right now.”

And so, you turn away, and when his words finally do come, they are spoken to the back of your head. They are spoken without you ever seeing his lips move, and you wonder if he ever said them at all, or if this might be some cruel trick of the night. Some witching hour spell. That is, until you turn towards him and you see the words painted clearly on his face too.

“Fuck it. I’m in love with you.”

I’m in love with you.

Why can’t he ever manage anything unless it’s too late?

You’re not sure what reaction he was expecting, but you almost choke on the sudden lump in your throat. You feel a taste of bile rising-up into your mouth. An intense, resurgent anger fills you, which near makes the room spin, and makes your hands and your legs tremble.

Even if a hidden, unconscious part of you has been waiting, hoping for these words all these years, when they finally come all you can feel is... royally pissed off.

“Oh. No. No. No,” you repeat, words gradually increasing in volume, looking at Santi as if he has mortally wounded you, rather than offered that confession. “You do not get to do this to me.”

You see a hard swallow bob down his throat, a near-instant regret on his face, and your heart pounds in your chest as you reel with the implications of his words.

The coward. The fucking asshole. He waited until now? All the times things had gone to shit, and he waited until you were happy?

“All the times...” you accuse, your tone as bitter as the taste in your mouth, the metallic tang of blood as you feel a rushing in your ears. “All the fucking times. All the chances, Santi, and you do this now?” you continue, your finger sawing through the air, wagging accusations at him, even as your voice wavers, as your hands notceably tremble. “No. Fuck you, Garcia. Fuck you.”

You want to cry, or scream, but you are too angry. So angry, that it eclipses anything else which might come to light. So angry that you almost come full circle again, beginning to stabilise out at eerily calm.

Santi looks down at the floor, and exhales air, chuckling disbelievingly to himself, then lightly nodding his head, lips pressed tightly together. His feet shift agitatedly below him as he brings his endlessly familiar eyes back up to meet yours. This time when he looks at you, it hurts. You remember bullet wounds, and you swear that was nothing compared to this.

“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say to me, hmm? Fuck you, Garcia?”

“What the fuck were you expecting?” you say, launching your words before you realise the implications of them. Yes, you know fine well that your boyfriend is sitting outside, likely wondering where you have got to. But, if you had the wherewithall to have thought about it, you would know exactly what Santi was expecting, despite all of that. You would know that a part of him must be expecting, hoping, that when he told you, you might reciprocate. That you might love him back.

And, would that be so outside of the realms of possibility? Would it be so hard to imagine that the deep, magnetic, and unshakeable friendship you shared could be something else? Something more? That you could tip over the edge you had long been teetering on? Maybe it could, or maybe it could have, but right now, you can’t see past the flashbang he has just dropped over your life, and it is clouding your vision.

You were happy. You are happy. Fuck him for doing this now.

Why would you fall into the unknown for him, if you never knew whether he would catch you? If you never knew whether ruin or safety awaited you if you let yourself tip? He always held back.

What the fuck were you expecting?

Your words linger in the space between you, and in lieu of any other lifeline, realisation dawns on Santi’s face. Realisation that, although he jumped, you are not intending to catch him either. But how could you catch him, with your arms already full?

And, so, he slowly nods his head once again, his eyes beading with glassy tears and his hand grazing over his chin in a self-soothing gesture. Wordlessly, he sets his jaw and he abruptly replaces his baseball cap on his head, padding a few steps forward to stand opposite you, sucking all of the breath from your lungs. This time, when he looks at you, you see all of your past, but you still can’t see beyond that. The abyss still scares you too much.

Like this, facing each other down, eye-to-eye, the silence in the room grows sharp as a knife, refined to a point. So, when Santi abruptly turns to leave in a sharp, determined trajectory, without so much as looking at you, it is as if he has dragged the blade across your skin in an equally swift motion. As if he has left you open and bleeding-out, having delivered a mortal wound with the act of his exit. You’ve felt like this on the battelfield before, and in life, yet he was always there for you. Always there to patch you. To pick up the pieces.

Instead of screaming open-mouthed for help, this time, you simply watch him go, and now you are the wordless one, mustering nothing but a gasped inhale of breath before your vision blurs with tears - as you watch his hazy form disappear along the hall and out of your sight.

“Santi,” you call pathetically, your voice small and weak and teary, barely making it past your throat, and he doesn’t hear you. He doesn’t hear you but even if he had, you’re not sure anymore if he would have stopped.

When Santi slams the front door behind him, you shudder with it in its frame, your hand coming to your chest as if to hold your heart inside your opened-up ribs, and you close your eyes against the jarring sound, tears spilling down your cheeks, your face screwing-up into a shined, contorted grimace.

Entirely lost, now alone, you bizarrely wish for the room to be filled with anger again, instead of the intolerable sadness - which all too suddenly takes hold of you as your emotions crest and break. It is all you can do to stumble forward a few paces and hunch over the countertop, finding yourself in the exact position you had discovered Santi in. You stand, bracing yourself with your arms, fingers clutching the edge of the worktop, and your head slumped forward, tears freely spilling out of you as your chest heaves.

You wonder whether he’d held himself in this same position because he had felt an intolerable sadness too. An intolerable sadness at seeing you happy.

Suddenly you could understand it.

That fucker. Santiago “Pope” Garcia.

I’m in love with you.

I’m in love with you.

The words echo in your mind, but this time, if you’re honest, you’re not wholly sure if they’re his, or yours.

PART TWO IS HERE