#also for the record pls don't spoil anything for me!
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I was originally gonna do this after finishing campaign 2/ right before starting campaign 3, but then I remembered I'm going to a cr panel this Saturday and I'm bound to get spoiled AF so I want to get my thoughts out before then lol.
Aka- here's what I (maybe?) know about cr3 without actually knowing a single thing about it.
Player characters: FCG/Fresh Cut Grass??? (Sam's), Fearne (Ashley's, at some point?), imogen/laudra(?) (marisha's/laura's, don't ask me whose is whose, I have no idea lol), orym(sp?)/ashton(?) (Taliesin's and liam's- again idk which is which lol). ??????? (Aka does Travis even have a character this campaign?? I swear I haven't heard a single thing about his pc). I'm also p sure I heard about Ashley's pc dying early at one point, I know nothing about that character. Also I think (based off a pinterest comment I saw) either Taliesin's, Liam's or Laura's (??) pc also die possibly in the same episode? Big shrug i don't know anything about that.
(Onto what I know about each character:)
Sam's- a robot??? Literal robot?? (Hey Sam what dnd race is that just curious??) Named FCG which apparently stands for Fresh Cut Grass??? I think that was a secret for a good while. Also side note, I don't know anyone's class in this campaign. They are still playing dnd 5e yeah?? Anyways. Childlike robot. I guess. I think there's been some discourse on whether fcg is Sus or just weird or what, but also from what I've heard sam is just playing him completely genuinely childlike and innocent. idk what to make of this.
Liam's- oh!! This is the backup character he's talked about for ages!! The air ashari (race?? I think he's something small, halfling maybe?) guy who's husband died and he's on a grief mission or something. Is named either Ashton or orym, idk which is which. also iirc liam's character in the Dalen's Closet one-shot was his current pc's stepson? or something? idk fun fact I guess? idk I think he's just a sad boi. liam's fave lmao.
Taliesin's- his pc is the one liams isn't lmao. I think he's orym??? I know next to nothing. I keep seeing a character w like. Gem growth on his shoulders or something?? Or wait I think I remember hearing something about an earth genasi? If so that checks out I guess? Idk I couldn't tell you anything else about him lmao. I get punk vibes off his pc art tho.
Laura's/marisha's- they share a bullet point bc I legit don't know the difference. Laudra and Imogen? At least one of them is v goth and angsty and terrible past a la yasha lol. She's like an undead human the same way costco guy from c2 was? Legit don't know anything about the other. They're a canon couple at some point? Like I think somewhat recently they kissed and everyone went nuts over it? Let's go lesbians?
Ashley's- from my understanding she had a first character that died so then she brought in Fearne. I know absolutely nothing about this first character. In every art I've seen of fearne I would do anything for her, she looks so lovely omg. She's like. what's it called a satyr or something?? she looks at least part fae and like. part goat or something. they're rly going outside the normal dnd races this time huh. also she has very much "looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill you" vibes. I love her already. also I'm p sure she's a spellcaster of some kind, I wanna guess druid. this is purely based off one of ashley's podcast intros where she mentions scrying in a voice that's neither pike's nor yasha's so I'm gonna guess it's fearne lol.
Travis's- ???????? I legit don't know anything about his character. I'm trying to remember names I've seen on ao3 and I'm blanking. He's still in this campaign right???? idk what to tell u. I'm assuming he's playing a guy lol. idk man.
Other things I know??
Apparently they bring in a bunch of guests at some point (like the slayers take mini arc in c1 maybe? Where they split the party and bring guests?) And all I remember hearing about emily axford from naddpod. I'm v excited to see her w the cr crew.
Something about an orgy?? As a main plot point?? I'm mildly concerned.
I have no idea when/where this takes place, at least 20-30 years post-c1 and at least partially in taldorei?? I know they go to Whitestone and talk to Actual Percival de Rolo (and/or one of his kids?) And I'm beyond hyped for that lmao. don't know if any other c1 pc's make an appearance.
Although I guess at some point keyleth returns and/or nearly dies and vax comes to her rescue except he gets turned into a ball? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
idk if this was fandom joking or if it actually happened but I remember hearing talk about all 3 of marisha's characters being in the same room or something. I know about keyleth but beau makes a cameo??
Also something about the moon. Moon(s). Moon drama? Not to trust the moon idk.
I remember seeing a vague post about how caduceus would have fared better w the c3 crew as opposed to the c2 crew. I'm not completely done w c2 yet (just starting ep 120!) so idk what to make of this. from vague vibes and discussions c3 crew is basically chaos incarnate? their morals are hand-wavy at best? they're just Weird? heck if I know.
Yeah I have no idea of anything lol. Also I've kinda heard mixed reviews, but I'm still v intrigued and can't wait to start listening.
#ignore me#maddie liveblogs critical role#maddie liveblogs cr3#whoops that's gonna be my c3 tag whenever I finally get to it#can't wait for when any of this makes sense lol#I'm gonna sneak a peek at tonight's ep and be so lost lmaoo#also for the record pls don't spoil anything for me!#I want to go in as blind and lost as possible lmao
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Okay this is probably gonna sound really weird but this specific scenario is stuck in the brain—
Thinking of that version of things where you helped YouTwo make friends, imagine if, in some subjective way, they’re better than you. Not in a “better spider person” way, but more like a slightly more appealing face kinda way? Like you barely look different but if you put your faces into one of those evaluator things they’d get a higher score. Maybe they just have good makeup out smth idk. It doesn’t necessarily have to be this but just some random way that YouTwo is thought of as “better”
But eventually, the spider people start actively treating the copy as the original, because they have it in their heads that the original one they love is the best, so the “better” of the two must be the original. Instead of confusing psychological warfare through mix-ups, reader is actively pushed down and away by the spider people, and at this point they simply move away to a normal part of Nueva York (or their home universe, depending on how we’re doing this) since the rest of the society is clearly happy to focus all their love on the other one.
The good bit comes whenever YouTwo slips up, whether by returning to their home universe if reader’s is supposed to be destroyed, making a bad comment, or just any other kind of mistake that makes the entire lobby pause and look like 👀
Because it’s not just the reveal that they’ve been believing this imposter for potentially months now, but also the fact that they now realise they pushed you away and made you feel like shit the entire time
After whatever punishment they see fit for the imposter is carried out, Miguel is rushing to find where you’re staying now so he can try to apologise or explain or try to make it right or something—
But when he’s standing at your door and running through all the events in his head, seeing how pissed you look at him, he’s wondering how he could ever convince you to love him again (he can’t help but default to kidnapping you and controlling you until you understand a fraction of how sorry he is)
Idk that’s just where brain took me— for me, at least, the best bit is the spoiling and smothering that would take place after, wanted or not!
I wrote this at midnight on my phone soo pls forgive if it’s incomprehensible lol
I'm always incomprehensible with weed or lust so you're good here lmao
Honestly I've been trying to sit and brainstorm 1. How does the Society start mistaking YouTwo for you and 2. How does this actually even work
You know how you can say "hey alexa" and she'll activate and then take further commands, but she's technically always listening to be able to receive the "hey Alexa" command? That's fucking Lyla, dude. I don't know if she's connected to every watch or just some of them but like, dude Lyla is an extremely powerful AI? How would you ever escape? It's not exactly clear how wide-ranging her abilities are, but as a program, she's not limited like you and I are. She can technically be listening and in some way processing and recording every single conversation that someone with a watch is having, or... maybe I'm thinking too much into it but sometimes I'm in the middle of brainstorming a you vs youtwo idea and my brain just goes "well wouldn't Lyla technically be there to set the record straight, wouldn't Lyla technically ALWAYS know who you are?"
And I think the answer to this problem... is to just say fuck it lmao! It's a fanfic and Lyla isn't always technically watching everything everywhere all at once even in canon right? She didn't immediately pipe up when Gwen reconnected with Miles in the beginning of ATSV, even though it technically would have been part of her prerogative to stop anything that would interfere with anomalies or the Spider Society. Technically speaking if I stayed completely 100% canon accurate this is how it would go:
YouTwo: --and they've just been pretending to be me this whole time! Please believe me Miguel, you KNOW it's me 🥺 uwu
Lyla within 5 seconds: heeeeey this is awkward but the electronic signature on your watch says you're the other one though lol? And the go home machine scans your dna and dimensional signature and the original doesnt even have a home dimension anymore? Plus here's some recorded audio from Reader's watch where you were threatening them and telling them no one will believe them if you replaced them, sooo.... awkward!
Like how fucking funny would it be if YouTwo is in HQ and is talking to Miguel and others and really playing their part and Spider Byte suddenly sees you log on this dimension's equivalent of Xbox lmao. Margo just looking back and forth and realizing holy shit. Or Reader deliberately ordering delivery food while YouTwo is out stealing their life or teaching their class and then when the delivery Spider shows up at your apartment that definitely only you have access to, that also helps kinda set things straight
I've even thought of like, you become depressed and start letting YouTwo do whatever they want and one day someone is banging on your front door and it's them "Hey you can't just COMPLETELY disappear, I don't want to work your fucking job everyday anymore, you have all these responsibilities and some of these people ALWAYS want to spend time with you" and you just smirk "oh no, guess that's your problem, 'real me'"
It's like. I'm trying to make it believable but if I ever do write the full fic (which I'm trying to but at this point I'm pulled between many different ideas) I want it to be believable? Like, for example, a lot of my dumb werewolf audiobooks have the protag being bullied and abused, and listening to those makes me MAD. I want readers to read this story and how you/Reader is being replaced and tricked and I want people to FEEL emotions about it, not just roll their eyes "this would never happen/this is so OOC"
But no definitely the yandere rose colored glasses start completely fucking you over, and I think another catalyst is, you seeing how "genuine" all your society friends act when they think it's not the real you you're talking to. Like here's an example i thought of. What if youtwo had the exact same hero name and real name as you and you're out and about one day and Miguel approaches you and he just CALLS YOU A NUMBER. Like say your home universe is 1217 and YouTwo's is 1712 and Miguel just walks up to you, "what are you doing here, 1712? You're supposed to be helping with construction in sector 6" and meanwhile you're just like holy shit do some people legitimately not even call YouTwo by an actual name, are these people more evil than I originally thought, holy shit no wonder YT wanted to steal my life" (and it's partially because depending on the person they either think of YouTwo as a Dollar Tree version of you and are nice to them as well but prefer you, OR they hate YouTwo outright for "daring to defile your image" and have the same voice and face as you, they think youtwo brings shane to you or whatever)
So not only are you starting to become upset about feeling replaced and feeling like you were never important to them to begin with, but then you're realizing that, either overall or with certain actions, that a lot of people are more outright mean and heartless than you originally thought?
And you're standing there "oh YouTwo has smaller pores and clearer skin than me, YouTwo actually knows how to dance at the clubs and parties,
BUT NO the shit where they suddenly start pointing out or criticizing things about you they've never commented on, just all of a sudden they have a LIST of things they dint like about you, when you're rhe same you've always been, SHIT HURTS, THAT'S THE DRAMA AND PAIN I'M LOOKING FOR
Miguel over here finally confronting YouTwo "and your little groveling for everyone's attention is so pathetic! Those empanadas you left on my desk weren't even good! They had all the wrong ingredients and they weren't crispy enough, i had to keep throwing them away--
You: a-actually, um, I was the one leaving you food so that you would eat. The first time came out really bad but i got better after the first time. You didn't like them, or did you not even eat them after the first time? 🥺
Miguel: --and they were fantastic, made me think of my Abuela, really took me back to my childhood, spectacular, outstanding, 5 stars
People start just "sounding off at YouTwo"
Pavitr: you wanted to try and make chai and it was so bitter my auntie poured it down the drain!
Porker: and when I introduced ya to him, you made Roger real uncomfortable with the "jokes" you made about him and his wife, which weren't that funny by the way!
Hobie: your style is conformist, it's like you have no real sense of self identity. Why did I see you at one of my concerts in a shitty leathet jacket and some brand new converse? You don't even know punk lace code, and you didn't even say hi, you just lurked like a creep
You: God DAMN that was ALL me, do you guys like ANYTHING about me????
And like, depending on what I choose or your personal preference I guess, the Spider Society has it rough too! Wait, so YouTwo WAS impersonating you, but it started when you LET THEM, and then there were times you could have came forward but didn't and basically "allowed" yourself to be treated like shit and have everything progress, so there's this, huge lingering doubt in tons of people of "wait so when was I actually spending time with Reader and when was I with the fake? Oh shit you're telling me those times the fake was rude as fuck to me, that WAS Reader, but they were rude because they were mad I didn't know who they were? But they didn't correct me and let me keep being mean to them????". Miguel is over here tearing his fucking hair out because UGH YOU'RE SO FRUSTRATING 😤 why did you let it get so bad, don't you know you could've came to him for help at any time?! (Except he totally lost your trust when YouTwo framed you for that elevator collapse from that one previous idea and he totally 100% thought you did it) but he still loves you and knows You're Going Through It, but, he definitely is. Relieved you're still ok but mad at you? Or disappointed? He's updating Lyla to keep a better eye on you, he's swapping out your watch for one that tracks and stores more information and is more personally customized, he may even decide, maybe he's got a little bit of an anxiety problem after everything that happened and he's paranoid "someone will try and take you away again"
It definitely is not your choice whether you return to the Spider Society or not, and I wouldn't put it past them to have you be "guarded" 24/7 from then on. Why is your Spidey Sense tingling when you're just out in the lobby getting some air? Because even if you can't see your loyal protectors, they sure can see you, from every visible surface, and next time you think you're alone in your apartment, well, some of your buddies CAN turn invisible. Maybe you were never really alone as you thought?
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Hey if u don't mind, can u pls do an imagine with jpm where the reader is gen z and sometimes James has trouble relating to her/ him/them but he still tries? And also pls pls pls a part two of introducing James to modern music
Ps, ur writing is fucking incredible, and ur one of my fav tumblr blogs, take care sweets :) <3
yk, that last little comment really made me smile. i’m glad to know my writing actually interests people! thank you sm lovely <3
the fascination of our modern world//jpm
pairings; james patrick march, female reader
rating; pg!
warnings; none <3
Oh, where could you even begin here. Let’s just say, having a boyfriend from the 1920’s was occasionally difficult at times. Even though he had a thirst for taking the lives of the innocent, James was a total gem. A gentleman who would spoil you and give you everything he had. Everything you wanted!
But.. the poor dear had a hard time understanding how the modern world worked. He found it incredibly uncomfortable. Certainly quite confusing in many ways, though Mr March found a way to avoid being included in anything that involved this generation. That was until he met you.
Now, James was left to face the supposed joys of finding out about even more sources and objects that now existed in this world. If it meant trying to understand more about you, he’d clearly have to go right in and start learning.
***
“Darling?” James called. He could faintly hear someone singing softly in the sitting room of his suite.
Inspecting this odd noise, James proceeded to enter the sitting room, just in time to see you with you’re back turned whilst singing within the dead silence.
Mr March was quite confused that you were just randomly singing to no tune in particular. No music was playing, so he chuckled quite a bit at this current sight.
“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day.. you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears! I’ll give it to someone special!” You sang with glee, you’re back still turned to you’re ghostly lover.
James smiled in awe but slowly made his way over to you and tapped you’re shoulder. He immediately flew back when you jumped in surprised, going on to giggle at his reaction.
“James! You gave me quite the fright. Is something wrong?” You asked.
James slowly shook his head. “No, no. Not at all my love. Just.. erm.. remember the record player I own?”
You furrowed you’re brows and looked at him funny, pausing the song on you’re phone as it was still blaring through the AirPods a tad bit too loud in you’re ears.
“Yes?”
“Well, i’m sure you are quite aware that you’re more than welcome to use it for some of the albums that belong to you. Don’t feel that you have to sing to yourself rather than the actual piece of music, dear. I know we all like a bit of singing to ourselves sometimes. But it’s better to join whoever may be singing in the song we like.”
You laughed at his slight confusion. “Oh James, you’re such a sweetheart. But I wasn’t singing to myself in pure silence..”
“You weren’t?”
“No. I was listening to my music through these,” You took the AirPods out of you’re ears and went on to present them to him.
He stared at them curiously, taking one of the small white speakers into his own hand. He inspected it before giving the AirPod back to you.
“Ah yes.. these are uh, something that connects to one of you’re electrical devices?”
You nodded and placed both of them in his ears, going back onto you’re phone and playing the song you were last listening to.
A grin began to spread across his face as he slowly tapped his right foot to the beat of the song.
“My my! This is quite the invention!” James beamed, his body now swaying slowly to the smooth sound of music.
You both laughed and you’re heart practically melted at his joy. Now usually, things like these utterly disgusted Mr March. He’d most likely say it was too loud for his ears or it hurt him. But perhaps now, you’re partner wouldn’t be so quick to judge.
***
“So, what do you fancy watching?” You asked James, searching on Netflix and Disney+ as you cuddled into you’re boyfriend further.
The two of you were comfortably sat in bed in you’re pyjamas. You’d taken James to bed a little earlier tonight, explaining to him that you wanted a ‘movie night’ or so you called it.
“Hmm, i’ll let you decide dear. Just maybe something that fits both of our tastes.” He said, twirling you’re hair around with his finger.
“Oo! How about Twilight?”
“Sorry?”
You giggled slightly. “Twilight. It’s a romantic movie. It’s about a vampire who falls in love with a human in high-school. And it becomes his job to protect her. He sort of stalks her a bit though. There’s also wolves in it! Maybe we could watch the full franchise!!”
James blinked at you, not knowing what to say. He eventually sighed and told you to put it on if that’s what you wanted.
Half way through you guys watching the full saga, James became bored and was just cringing at how there was too much going on. Far, far too much for his liking.
“Dearest, I think it’s time for me to settle down for the night.” He stated, faking a yawn and excusing himself.
“Aw, ok! We can finish it tomorrow.” You smiled sweetly, James only just smiled back before kissing you goodnight and rolling over. His smile fell shortly after he’d realised he actually had to finish these lot of movies tomorrow night.
***
“Mm, i’m feeling a bit peckish. Maybe we should have lunch now?” You said to you’re lover, rubbing you’re stomach as it growled loudly with hunger.
“Yes, I was getting ready to ask you that actually. Wait- where is Miss Evers?” James searched around the place but didn’t manage to find his loyal laundress, (and chef for that matter)
“I told her to go to the bar and enjoy herself for the afternoon. Don’t worry though. I’ll order us something in.” You pulled out you’re phone and went into Just Eat.
“Darling, I thought you said you gave her the afternoon off. How are we meant to request to her what we would like if she’s gone?” He frowned.
“I know, that’s why I said I would order it in.”
James frowned ever more. “I don’t understand.”
You sat down beside him, showing him what app you were currently in.
“Look, this app allows me to order food to the Cortez. I can text Liz to bring it up to us and that’ll be our lunch for the day.” You told him. He looked shocked and wildly fascinated at the same time.
“So.. you are able to get someone to professionally make us something to eat and they are willing to deliver it right here to the Cortez?”
“Yup.”
“Oh Darling.. when I said I had a huge dislike for the modern world.. I don’t think I meant it quite literally at all..”
***
hope y’all enjoyed this little imagine! it was quite fun to make actually :)
taglist: @v-love @cabin10hufflepuff
#ahs fandom#american horror story#ahs hotel#james march#james patrick march#evan peters#dandy mott#finn wittrock#evan peters ahs#james march x reader#jpm x reader#jpm#ahs imagine#ahs headcanons#ahs fluff#fem reader#female reader#requests#ahsfx#ahs season 5#tate ahs#tate langdon#ahs evan peters#male character#ahs asylum#ahs murder house#ryan murphy#sarah paulson#lady gaga#the countess
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I looooove your Mike in timt his characterization is really interesting and fun to read, i've read timt and i'm kinda waiting for you to complete the entire universe so I can read everything in one go so I don't get too lost (no pressure tho take your time!!). I love his rant with the guy in that store that he stops by when travelling to see Will lol just venting about his life to a stranger like a normal person <3
hey anon! i’m so glad u love the timt universe so far! and yes!! the cashier scene is one of my favorites too, and was definitely one of my favorite parts to record in the audiobook.
as far as updates go, i’m so sorry i’ve been so slow with them; i’m kind of trying to get through my last semester at school right now, and i’m not gonna lie, i’m really struggling academically as well as with a lot of mental health issues (i lost my grandma a few months back— we were really close— and the grief has been a fucking monster).
i was having such a hard time with writing in will’s pov for the longest time but now i’ve finally gained momentum, so now it’s just a matter of getting the story out on paper. and i’m a perfectionist by nature, so it’s taking a little longer than expected.
in terms of DBM, i want all of NTWDT to be out first so all the gaps are filled between mike and will’s stories, so i put it on hold until it’s done. i’m also working on SSCL every day, which plays a pretty significant role in the plot of NTWDT. so you can probably see my dilemma with trying to fit all the puzzle pieces together without spoiling major plot points.
which is why i’ve resorted to making audios and edits and playlists and stuff to keep myself active on here and to not fall into a writers block slump like i had previously been in.
i promise you that i’m working as fast as i can and want the rest of the series out just as much as y’all do. i’m not, like, purposefully withholding it from y’all or anything like that. i’m genuinely trying my best. it’s actually my last spring break ever, so i might try and knock out NTWDT1 if i can find it in myself. pls don’t hold me to it but y’all might be pleasantly surprised lmao
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Hello! :3
I have seen, things of the magnus archives that you have posted and would like to know if I should watch it (and I wanna give you an excuse to talk about it of course)
So, what is the magnus archives, where can I observe it, and would you reccomend watching it?
Ohohoh why hello there >:3
you should DEFINITELY get into tma, and I'm not biased at all, nope! I do recommend it a lot tho, it's very very good, very well written and produced. Rusty Quill, the creators of this magnificent piece of art, put a lot of thought and detail into it, and a lot of passion as well. you'll not regret listening to it (unless if you'd rather keep yourself sane, but why would someone want that, amrite? <- says with huge bags under its eyes from countless sleepless nights)
So, the podcast is about this guy who works at the Magnus Institute, in London, a place that researches the paranormal. Jon Sims, our main character, works at the Archives, reading statements and sending his assistants to look further into the ones he deems as legitimate. As the story progresses, you start noticing some... patterns within the statements he reads, some names appear more often than not, some people are involved with more than they appear (or want) to be, as well as some spooky stuff happening to the members of the archives. your fears are more powerful than you think :)
oh, you might be interested to know that there are (multiple!) queer characters in this as well :D horror and queer, what other reason do you need to start listening to this asap??
anyway, the story is told through the recordings of the statements, but it goes wayyy beyond that. I won't lie, I struggled a bit through the first season bc the pacing is a bit slower (as it goes at the beginning of any story, yk), but then I got eager and eager to understand what tf was going on and couldn't stop listening. there's 200 episodes + some very cool extras. 5 seasons total, 40 eps each. I think it's around 20-30 min each episode. I listened to it on Spotify, but they're also on YouTube and other platforms. iirc they added trigger warnings on the description of each episode, it is a story about fear, after all, so keep an eye out.
I think thats pretty much it, I'm trying to say as much as I can without spoiling anything. speaking of which, you might want to filter spoilers here. unfortunately 'tma spoilers' is not enough, some people only tag for each season, I had to filter like 'tma season 1', 'tma s1 spoilers' and other variations, which was annoying. specially bc some people don't tag spoilers at all, and I'll be forever salty for getting spoiled for the finale.
anyways, if your want to ask me anything else and share your thoughts pls pls do, I'll be delighted :D you might've seen me, static, lilith and some others headcanon-ing and assigning jrwi characters with tma stuff, and I would love to know what you think as well :3
#ahem. sorry for writing a fucking bible#but thank you for letting me ramble about this :3#everyone should let me do this ever about anything.#lua answers
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Uhhhh is this where you ask for 650 words prompts? I'm sorrg I don't have tumblr I'm trying to figure it out. If this is wrong pls ignore me. As for the prompt jc/nhs or nmj/cj or nmj/lxc cottagecore setting (or similar) would be really jnteresting if they're soulmates but one of them is a ghost (who is maybe haunting somewhere bc secretly they're really romantic andupset over seemingly not having a soulmate) I know this is maybe abit of a crazy idea but it sounded nice in my head 😅
I don't know if I got this exactly as you might have intended, but I hope that you like it anyway, anon! And for the record yes, this is exactly where you ask for the 650-word prompts. Thanks for reading, anon! <3
(also on ao3, if you prefer to read there)
[Gen; NieLan; Cottagecore; Ghosts; Soulmates]
- Liebing -
The man who moved into Liebing's house was... unexpected. He was big - tall and broad, almost too big for the cottage - and scowling, with a neat mustache and his head partially shaved in some curious modern style. Liebing watched him duck through the kitchen doorway to deliver a box that was, helpfully, marked 'KITCHEN' on the side. The man's sleeves were pushed up and his arms were impressively muscled. Liebing watched shamelessly. It had been a long time since he'd had somebody so pretty to look at.
When he had company, the man was gruff. There was a brother who called the man dage, who met the man's grumpiness with teasing and laughter. Another, who also called the man dage but didn't look like a relative, who smiled enigmatically when the man frowned at him. Strangers called him sir and ran when he glared.
On his own, though, the man was sweet. He hummed tunelessly as he worked. Liebing watched from his shelf as the man learned to make bread (it took a few attempts but he seemed to enjoy kneading the dough, so it was never a total loss), as he seasoned a cast iron pan, as he set up a homemade spice rack and added to it each grocery run. Liebing watched his cooking experiments and delighted in seeing the expressions on the man's face when he tasted each meal.
And through the kitchen window Liebing could see the yard: he could see the man weeding the overgrown garden, fixing and repainting the rickety fence, chopping and stacking firewood. He watched the man offer scraps to a huge feral cat that more often than not clawed him for his trouble... but it came back more and more, scratched him less and less.
One day the man convinced the cat to let him shut it in a towel-lined box and take it away in his car. When they came back it had a collar and sometimes after that it came into the house. Liebing worried that it would jump up on his shelf, knock him down and break him, but the cat quickly became a spoiled, lazy thing. It liked to sprawl across the table and sleep there, no matter how many times the man chased it away.
The man sometimes came to look at the things on Liebing's shelf, the old things that belonged not to the owner but to the house, but it wasn't until he'd lived there for a year (Liebing watched the seasons change, through the window) that he actually touched any of it to do anything other than dust.
If Liebing had been capable of breath he would have held it, when the man picked him up from the shelf. Most people wouldn't go further than that, than turning him over curiously a few times before placing him back. But maybe, maybe...
The man hesitated, then laughed at himself, then placed Liebing against his lips and blew. The note that sounded was clear and beautiful and perfect. The unravelling of the spell felt like surfacing from deep underwater, rushing upwards toward light and warmth and air, and before the note ended he was free.
Xichen, no longer Liebing, returned to his body with the man's hands on his cheeks and the man's lips pressed against his lips. Magic tingled between them, making them both gasp, pulling them momentarily closer together - and then the man stumbled back and stared at him.
"Thank you," Xichen said, "and I'm sorry - I didn't mean to steal that kiss."
The man's eyes rolled back and he dropped in a quite dramatic faint.
Xichen sighed, and stepped around the man to offer his hand to the cat to sniff.
"I hope he won't hold that against me," he said.
The cat purred loudly in response; at least he would have company while he waited for his soulmate to wake up.
(and yes, the cat's name is of course Baxia)
#prompt fill#fic-iversary prompts#the untamed#fanfic#nielan#cottagecore#ghosts#soulmates#cap' writes
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Star Trek Fan? Favorite Series and episodes?
"Temba, his arms wide."
Voyager, easily. I've heard Deep Space Nine is excellent, but I have yet to finish it (my watchlist is a mile long). I also haven't seen Discovery or Picard yet, so no spoilers on those please!
Favorite episodes is harder... there's a lot I love across the various series.
Parallels from TNG is one I love, the idea is just really cool and it actually kinda makes me care about Worf's existence even if it's only for 45 minutes.
Loud as a Whisper is just stellar. It tends to slip my mind when folks ask about The Next Generation, but if I'm picking out an episode to watch or I catch it on TV, I'm gonna be glued to my screen for all of it. Even in the 24th century, communication is still something that is not as universal as one might expect. And since we're on the topic...
Darmok is another great one. An alien species that essentially communicates through memes and the irony of "Temba, his arms wide" lowkey becoming a meme irl is truly something, especially since to some degree this is a real-world phenomenon. I could relay something to someone entirely with SpongeBob and Vine quotes. Its awesome.
Frame of Mind from TNG obviously is another, no suprise there XD Characters being fucked with on a psychological level is interesting to me and it's territory Star Trek doesn't get to explore very often.
Pretty much any Data-centric or Seven Of Nine-centric episode would apply to this list so I won't go through all of those.
Course: Oblivion was the first VOY episode I clearly remember seeing, when I was around 9 or 10 I think, and its ending really stuck with me even without intimate knowledge of the characters. It's one of the reasons I lean so hard towards bittersweet endings for my own stories.
Living Witness from VOY is a super cool concept, and the Doctor is one of my favorite Star Trek characters ever, so that's an easy pick.
The infamous VOY episode Threshold for just the shear batshit craziness of that making it to television... the first half sets up such a dope premise only for it to just totally derail in its second half and its HILARUOUS! Plus, Voyager's fandom takes having one of the worst episodes ever really well. We've even got a day dedicated to celebrating it!
In the Wink of an Eye, also from VOY is a fun one too. It's a time travel episode (of sorts) that's not a pain in the ass to explain and understand, while still being super interesting.
Year of Hell, Parts 1 & 2, is another VOY staple and an auto-include. Not gonna explain the premise since I'd argue this is one you'd need context for.
Twisted, once again from VOY, I feel like gets forgotten about sometimes. Not sure what about it I love so much, I just do. I will try not to spoil the ending for people who haven't seen it yet, but I like the ending a lot. Sometimes there really isn't anything you can do, and that's okay.
And speaking of endings, Tuvix has one of the best. The choice that Janeway makes is a hard one, and one I feel like only she could make as far as Star Trek captains go (at least from the captains that I'm familiar with). I don't think Picard could be given a moral dilemma of that caliber.
This Side of Paradise from the original Star Trek series was the first Star Trek thing I ever saw and to this day I still love it. I'd recognize the flute melody that plays throughout the episode nearly anywhere.
For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky, also from TOS, is another favorite, for both having the current record for longest episode title and because the premise for it is just so interesting. It's really nice when Star Trek actually follows through on the whole 'seek out new life and new civilations and boldy go where no one has gone before' thing and this is one of those episodes.
Picking favorites for Star Trek: Enterprise is a bit harder, as it only piqued my interest when it started having an actual plot (i.e. season 3 onwards), so most of the ones I like are really plot heavy and hard to recommend for peope who just wanna watch a one-off thing without needing a shit ton of context.
Ones that explore alien Xenophobia are interesting to see with this series' placement in the Star Trek timeline. It's early in humanity's space exploration so not everyone is used to aliens yet and it makes for some good drama.
I think I'll cut this off here for now, cuz real talk, there are so many episodes I like... I could ramble about Star Trek for ages and this isn't my main!
bUt NuGgEt, I hear you saying, wHaT aBoUt Inner Light???
Okay yes, that is a great TNG episode, and I do love it to peices, but fuck, that thing has been praised to hell and back and won several awards, its got more than enough clout. Hush.
But yeah, I'm done now, go home.
#anon what have you done#you asked about a Special Interest#you madlad#anyway#if you wanna ask about any of my other hobbies or intrests outside of SU then hit up my main!#cuz lord knows i have no self control and i will ramble for pages about things i like#ask#anon#meta
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Interview
BB: welcome back everyone! So good to see you all here today! We're back for a 3rd time here on BB Channel! Like before we're joined by the lil cuties of Ed and Mari. But this time their parents have come to join!
Rex: hello...
Quetz: Hola!
BB: that wasn't a very strong greeting Rex!
Rex: I'm tired right now. Can't this wait?
BB: time waits for no one and neither does BB!
Mari: already this is super annoying! *sigh* so why'd you decide to bring them into this anyways?
BB: the people who follow this blog need to see how they're doing so long after Chaldea too! You two have had the spotlight for a while, so now you should share.
Ed: I mean... guess that's fair.
Mari: should anyone be dealing with this?
Rex: I'd rather not be here either.
BB: aaaww, don't be like that! This will be fun!
Quetz: that's a very hard sell BB.
BB: just humor me at least.
Rex: ...fine
Quetz: what are we even doing anyways?
BB: some of your interdimensional buds have sent in questions about how you guys are doing, and I'm here to get those answers for them!
Quetz: that actually sounds nice...
BB: what'd I tell ya!?
Rex: yeah yeah, pls get started.
BB: fine. First few are from my precious bombardier beetle! First one she asks: do you have any pets?
Mari: oof! Do we!
Rex: currently we have four dogs: 1 German Shepherd named King, a Pitbull named Sparks, a Dogo Argentino named Duke, and a Corgi named Marshmallow.
Quetz: but also we have a habit of adopting older dogs who aren't likely to get a home because of their age or rescues to give them a nice place to stay.
BB: aaawww, well ain't that wholesome?
Mari: we also have mom's bigass pterosaur!
BB: less wholesome. Next one from my dear yellowjacket: favorite foods?
Rex: PIZZA!
Mari: CAKE!
BB: whoa! Pump the brakes you two! No need to get too excited!
Quetz: ...honestly? I don't really have a favorite food. Just a bunch I like to eat and some I don't. If I had to choose, I'd say chocolate.
Ed: I'm a steak man myself.
BB: 2 sweets, and 2 savories. Next up! Who wakes up earliest?
Rex: Quetz
Ed and Mari: Mom
Quetz: ...I guess it's me... hehehe.
BB: honestly I'm not surprised. She's so damn athletic and even used to be a professional.
BB: next! Where do you all like to go for vacations and such?
Ed: mom and dad have a vacation home in Alaska.
BB: Alaska?! Why?
Mari: when warm weather is the norm for you it's nice to go to the cold to change things up.
Rex: yeah, it's actually very nice. Not too many people and beautiful nature sights.
BB: well to each their own. Another from my dear antlion: how long does it take to pick a movie or TV show to watch?
Quetz: hehehe, we're all so indecisive it takes ages to pick. It's not uncommon for us to give up after taking so long.
BB: you should work on that. This next one's interesting. My precious army ant also suggests a round of common household jobs and the like from each member.
Rex: hmmm
BB: she gave an example of like, who does the cooking?
Quetz: well it's both me and mi amor in that case. The kids aren't very creative.
Ed: hey! We're plenty creative!
Mari: no we're not, don't lie.
Rex: we only really ask that the kids clean their rooms and any messes they make. We handle most everything else.
BB: they should really show some independence tho. Can't coddle them forever.
BB: in the next one, Cadence asks about a house tour and if there's a jacuzzi.
Quetz: a house tour feels like it should be it's own thing.
Rex: yeah, but we do have a jacuzzi dude, so don't worry.
BB: next one's from Reen: she asks what would life be if you weren't in chaldea,
Rex: y'mean like now? I mean... it's a relatively normalish domestic life? With less work tho.
Quetz: si, I've made plenty from my lucha career before retirement we don't have to worry about money much. But mi amof still makes money just in case.
BB: well after that she asks: how was your life before and after meeting each other?
Rex: ...kinda sad. Aside from chaldea and saving the world, I was kinda just... stagnant. Go to work, go home and so on. Not much to my life before then.
Quetz: ...honestly, for me it was the same. After the age of Gods ended we didn't do much of anything. We mostly watched over humanity, I've been summoned in modern day before but that was rare and infrequent.
Rex: ...after I met Quetz tho... I dunno things felt... better? She kinda forced her way into my life after I summoned her and... I was more then ok to accept her... before long we had something beautiful...
Quetz: aww, mi amor! I'm so happy to hear that!
BB: ain't that sweet? Like me and my dear centipede. Final one from Reen: if you could build a dream home then where? (Can be in fantasy)
Rex: I mean... where we are now is good.
Mari: yeah, right at the border of a huge rainforest in the Yucatan sounds fine.
Ed: but what about the fantasy bit?
Quetz: hmmm... we don't really look at fantasy much. But maybe a castle of some kind?
Rex: or a Mayan temple? But with electricity and Wi-Fi.
BB: that's fair. Need those memes in your life. Now some from Kaz! First she asks: what kind of gifts do you give each other?
Rex: uuhh, well I like getting mi corazon custom things. Like some personal clothes, or even a portrait of the two of us.
Quetz: ehehehe, I like to spoil mi amor with extravagant things! Golden treasure and the like!
Mari: concerning...
BB: next, how would you spend the day if it's raining outside?
Rex: I actually enjoy rainy weather, so I like to chill near a window or even on the porch listening to the rain.
Mari: it's very soothing.
BB: how quaint. Last one from Kaz: whose good at cooking and baking?
Quetz: hehehe, that'd be me. Tho it might be considered cheating since I use my goddess power to help.
Mari: well no one else is the greatest normally so it's fine.
BB: a good 'ol better then nothing kinda attitude! Now we're back to Cadence but with more relaxed questions: what's the current house look like?
Rex: ....big.
Mari: like three stories tall with a DEEP basement.
Ed: like... 5 rooms too many.
Quetz: we also have an indoor pool.
Rex: the outside looks almost gothic, but partially taken over by nature.
BB: all this near a rainforest?
Quetz: si! Despite the size, all the nearby trees still tower over it.
BB: nature can get scary. I've seen worse and have been worse but still. Another one: how do family events function? Any specific holidays?
Quetz: ...most family events are just us... going somewhere nice to eat nice food...
Rex: do they mean bringing extended family? My family lives too far to visit often
Quetz: ...and I'd rather not speak of mine... things have gotten rocky as of late.
Mari: right, well for holidays we celebrate most standard one, like Easter and valentine's and such. For October we kinda try to combine Halloween and Day of the dead.
Ed: but Christmas is the most important for us! Mom and Dad always make the biggest celebrations for Christmas!
BB: gotta love the holidays! Especially when your mom is santa... still weird to say that. Next one! Any plans for the future?
Rex: eh... not really? I mean I want to prepare Maria to continue the family magecraft, since Ed has no interest.
Mari: someone has to continue on this lost practice.
BB: good to know it won't be lost to time like we thought. Next one! Daily life?
Rex: I wake up, eat, work on magecraft, spend family time, spend time with Quetz, go to bed.
Quetz: I wake up, workout, eat, workout, spend time with mi familia, lovely time with mi amor and then I sleep.
Ed: I wake up, take a walk, eat, practice soccer, spend family time, sleep.
Mari: sleep, sleep again, dragged to breakfast by mom, eat, eat again, mess with magecraft, eat, sit with everyone else, scroll thru my phone for hours, sleep.
Quetz: *sigh* mija, you need to change your priorities.
Mari: mmmmm... No.
BB: bad habits there Mari. Next they'd like to know if your in contact with anyone from chaldea? Other then me!
Rex: here's a real quick list: Marie, Mash, Kiara, Penth, Astraea, Martha, Ishtar, Gorgon, Jalter, The twins, your kids BB, etc etc.
Quetz: too many to list...
BB: nice you haven't lost contact! Next! About that Wedding?
Rex: well... it was eventful to say the least. Not long after completing the china LB. Most of the servants were invited, and most of Quetz's family showed up.
Quetz: si, Martha officiated it for us. Most of my family were so nice at the time... too bad that hasn't lasted.
Rex: let's not mention that...
BB: it was such a nice wedding! You two were so "nervous" you had trouble with your vows! How adorable!
Mari: why the quotes?
BB: no reason... now we're at the home stretch! Good 'ol Ash has some for stuff that technically hasn't happened yet, but you should still be able to answer! What responsibilities will Rex take on when he joins the pantheon?
Quetz: ...well he'll be largely a guardian of life on earth. Authority over things like the jungle itself, volcanos, and even snow... for some reason.
Rex: well it still snows in mexico... occasionally.
Quetz: and we'll be sharing authority over Venus! I wanted to share it with mi amor!
BB: cute! Hmmm, not sure if you cananswer this one just yet? Adjusting to God hood?
Rex: well I got to try it out a bit. Summoning lava and snow is... interesting. But also... my mind felt... odd... but also clearer? Not sure how to put it...
BB: I'm sure when you get there you'll get it... took me a bit after servant fest. And how did the other divinities react?
BB: actually I have some recordings of that to answer, so play the clip!
A screen appears showing recordings of some servants, one at a time.
Ishtar: eh! She's turning you into a god!? ...I guess you've earned it master...
Eresh: what!? Can you do that?! ...guess I won't see you in Kur... then again I don't think you have any link to Kur anyways.
Kama: do you really think your cut out for it? I mean... if it's just for you two to be together then I guess it's fine.
Astraea: godhood is a very big responsibility master. Are you certain you're up to it? Saving humanity is also a big task but at least that has an end point. This is... eternal.
Qin: oh! So you have decided to go for immortality after all?! Tho not the same as my methods, it is still good to see you two will be happy together!
Scathach: immortality? I've strived for death for so long... to see you go for immortality... Hopefully you'll find happiness, where I couldn't...
The screen turns off.
BB: very interesting! Most seem hesitant of it all... I for one think it's cute! Imagine in a thousand years you guys have a double date with me and my dear stag beetle!
Rex: ...a thousand years...
Quetz: still having trouble processing it all?
Rex: yeah... maybe when I get there... it'll be easier.
BB: now for today's final one! A scenario! One of you two goes berserk! What does the other do to calm them down?
Rex: well that has happened before... usually a nice hug is more then good enough.
Quetz: si! I've almost destroyed a few servants a few times until mi amor caught me in a hug! I can't bring myself to harm him... so I stop!
BB: sounds too easy... but I've seen that before so... I'll let it slide.
BB: well that's all the time we have for now! Hopefully you all are satisfied by the answers! We'll be doing this again, seeya!
Screen cuts out, the show's over.
Questions provided by: @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @havetheavengersdoneanythingwrong @has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong @renmeo @kazmetic @grievouslyxorvia
Other tags
@haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @hasishtardoneanythingwrong @hasereshdoneanythingwrong @hasabbydoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong
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Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas – book review
Series: Throne of Glass #7
Genre: YA, Fantasy
Theme: Fae, magic users, war
Warnings: mentions of torture, imprisonment
Star rating: 0,5/10
Why did I pick this up?:
I wanted to end this horrible series once and for all.
[Heavy spoilers ahead]
To make myself clear, before this book I quite liked this series. It wouldn’t place in my top 100 books, not even close, but it was a pleasant pageturner to listen to in audiobooks when working.
Language
Let’s start slow. I lack the words to express how much I hate the words ‘male’, ‘female’ and ‘mate’ after this series. Not even gonna try to express my trauma. But these 3 gems aside, Sarah J. Maas needs a dictionary. Or compress her work to a manageable size. Everything sang, Everyone melted, Every man roared, Every woman trembled, Everyone was unleashing themselves at least once a chapter (number of chapters: 122) ). And now I know definitely too much about Yrene’s ‘womb’. I know so much…
Dynamism
I thought that was a book about a war with heavy action content. Oh boy, I was wrong. This 984-pages monstrosity has maybe 5 pages of action. If you squint.
Every sequence, where by design action should take place was followed by one of two scripts:
Few sentences of action and then a few pages long internal monologue. Often repeated with the same character after the next few sentences of action, or with the next character and then the next (sometimes the first character made a second appearance and then everything would go all over again). And the word ‘character’ used in these sentences is not because I’m rambling. This book is written that way!
Few sentences of action and then action stops, and we are graced by a few pages long conversation. In the middle of a battle. Or spying. Or in Erawan’s chambers, when his castle is going down, and he is running up the stairs...
Time
Leaving alone the fact that apparently all series took less than a year (till this book I estimated the plot for about 3 years, Wiki told me it was 2, but Maas knows best), because that is a can of worms in itself. Time in this one? I honestly have no idea. There were many ‘few weeks of travel’ parts with two main groups of POVs. Personally my only time indicator was ‘Orynth won’t fall till Aelin gets here’. But nothing just fit. And I saw Lost Song when in the last episode we as the audience realized that our two POVs parallel storylines are in reality millennia apart. Lost Song made sense.
Emotional loading
… there wasn’t any. Really, it was like reading a milk label. Every time the scene was potentially emotionally impactful, Maas went ahead to overexplaining EVERY. GOD. DAMMED. THING. And it was abso-fucking-lutely everything. ‘Emotional dilemma? Let’s current POV explain it! 2 pages should be enough… Damn maybe it wasn’t enough. I know! I’ll switch POVs and explain it through the other character!’ <= My impression of Maas’ thought process. I’m fairly sure that the record was 7 POVs explaining the same thing in the row, but I was blacking out a little, so I cannot be sure.
And if that wasn’t enough, this book had a second way to defuse tension: random-plastic-repetitive-badly_written-smut. Really badly written and really repetitive. How could you not feel the spicy bits, when Manon (cruel, self assured 100+years old witch-queen) reacts the same in bed as Elide (20years old, virgin, ex-slave). And the rest of them were the same, there weren’t ANY distinctions.Just copy-paste.
The next point in current case: Someone died, it was impactful, I really liked the character, so I got sad. But then 2 of our characters came out of the room with a body, and after a paragraph of grieving they started making out, and then I was regaled with 2-pages-long description of melting cores. That was the place then this book stopped being badly written, and started being distasteful.
Characters
Remember when I was writing about switching POVs (which is 15(!!!) In the whole book. Oh and an omniscient narrator in places when our current POV was grieving too much to overthink something, but Maas still wanted to inform us about something)? They were all savagely murdered in the worst way: character mutilation. Somewhere between books our maybe-not-that-original but colorful and interesting characters became carbon copies of each other. I have no idea how many times I didn’t realise there was a POV switch. The only indicator was a change of pronoun, or when Maas was telling us the name of a current narrator. These were the only ways. And if you can't distinguish if you are in Dorian’s head or in Manon’s, that is the sign of a really BAD writing.
Romance
…there wasn't any. In all this book there wasn't any naturally progressing romantic scene. There were Maas’ endgame pairings which were sexing or pinning. As the author Maas loves to write about soulmates. And it’s not a bad thing itself. When I want some fluffy story I often tag ‘soulmates’ in AO3 and voila, +10 to good mood. But God above, it is not cute when every pair you write about are ‘true mates’ just BECAUSE. It is the only way Maas sees a relationship, as a fated pairing, written in the wake of the universe by the God himself. There is no choice, nor the work to put in it. They are the author's OTP and that means that they are perfect and they should have children right now. Point in case:
Guy was treating a girl like a shit on his sole, including throwing her naked out of tent, on a snow, with their friends present, all the while abusing her verbally in a worst way. But it’s okay, because when she almost died he realised his mistakes and apologised. Two scenes later, he was forgiven, because... fated mates?
The pathos
I know that many people don't like this type of scenes, but it's not my case. I’m reading by picturing images and not repeating words. I like sequences that I can imagine to be grand and glorious, even if they are a little corny. That said, the pathos scenes were the most disappointing ones for me. Maas likes to write parts that are more picturesquely exalted than logically possible [point in case: meeting of 5 armies/forces in the random patch of sand in Empire of Storms, and it being painted as ‘an Aelin’s great plan’. I laughed myself silly at that. But not taking logic and all the plot holes into consideration that was a nicely looking scene. In Kingdom of Ash that wasn’t the case. I would say that the author wanted to paint us a renaissance painting every 20 pages or so. In my opinion, every time she failed miserably. Each and every of those scenes was or to farfetched to be even remotely realistic, and evidently written only for a sake of the picture, or just plainly stupid.
Example, and it’s so priceless a scene, that I just need to share it: Battle of Orynth, 25th day or so (time in this book doesn’t exist), the 13. sacrificed themselves (like thousands before them but hush). And then, time stops: grieving Manon is going through the city, they open the gates for her (yes, the siege is still on), she goes to the place where they died, after her come out all of our main heroes, and half the city itself with ‘flowers, rocks and precious possessions’ and they lay it there in a tribute to these brave (evil till 2 months ago) witches. I honestly can’t remember when was the last time I saw such an abstract scene. It’s a material for an essay in itself. No, I could not take it seriously.
Additionally, it's hard to make an impact as every damn sentence is grand and lofty. In the end it became truly pathetic, Aelin vs Maeve was unreadable.
Character deaths:
Let's make a quick count:
main characters in a series at the start of KoA: 12
secondary characters in a series at the start of KoA: 20ish
minor and total background: a lot more
Death count:
main: 0
secondary: 3
minor: 2 (11 if we try very hard)
Resurrections:
1 (possibly 3, but not gonna analyze it)
Did you feel emotions of this impossible war against this all-encompassing, all-powerful, invincible, immortal, cunning Evil with armies from 3 continents and 2 worlds? No? Me neither.
Oh well, but there were a lot of deaths of ordinary soldiers. I’m quite certain that all of Terrasen’s army was at least twice brought back to life for them to die in these numbers.
Logic or lack thereof
Oh, and let’s not forget about the Deus ex machina army of unbeatable, magical elves on wolves, from legends, living for the past thousands of years in the unreachable lands of the north, because they managed to run from the surprise attack 10 years earlier. Did I mention that they came from portals, which the whole book was telling us were impossible to make in this scenario? After the previous saviour army was already fighting there for a day? And that Aelin didn’t know they would come for sure (how did she contact them again?)? Even though they were waiting in the full armours for these portals? Ah, and also: that army didn’t do anything. They just came and fought for maybe 4 minutes. And there were just so many things like that!
And if we’re on the topic of armies I present you: ‘My favourite absurd-list in the series: allied armies’.
(As a comparison, in A Song of Ice and Fire by J.R.R Martin, in 7 kingdoms of Westeros, at the peak of war there were 7 forces present, but not all were even engaged in a war.)
First the ones that made sense:
Armies of Terrasen’s Lords (counted as one, not gonna nitpick)
The Khaganate army (also counted as one)
Galan Ashryver’s armada
Whitethorn fraction
Rebel Ironteeth witches
…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’?
And there were some that did not:
Ansel of Briarcliff’s army
The Silent Assassins
Mycenians
Wild Men of the Fangs
Army of magical elves on wolves
And the ‘I don’t even know’ category:
Crochan witches
Overpowering and overreaching
Section title tells it all. The stakes were too high. I was honestly waiting for Aelin to become Super Saiyan and start to throw planets at Maeve and Erawan. I won’t spoil if this happened.
In my opinion it could be a really great series, if our list of villains ended with Arobynn and King of Adarlan, and the list of Aelin titles with an assassin and a princess. We could have had two main fight plots: one emotional with Arobynn, when Aelin would have to face a damage he had done to her, and overcome it. And the second one, with freeing Terrasen from Adarlan’s rule. That’s it. There was an asshole, power hungry king, who feared magic and wanted to rule the East part of a continent. A lot of plot, but not so much that we stopped to care, or didn’t have time to cover everything. We could really get to know what Terrasen and his people were like and not JUST GET TOLD that it was ‘the greatest place in the world’ every damn 20 pages.
Plus…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’? It's a REALLY valid question.
Climaxes
IIf I have to write a list of things that disappointed me in this book, this review would be thrice its current size, but one of the worst grievances I have is the complete lack of acknowledging the plotlines that had been started. This book series has overall 4 372 pages (not counting novellas) and 12 main characters (still not gonna address this). All of them had their storylines and arcs but if they weren't tied up in the previous instalments they wouldn’t be in this one. I get it, Maeve and Erawan got beaten (in an extremely unsatisfactory way) but they were only a background in this series' plots.
Aelin
Well, Aelin was one of 3 people (+2 paragraf-long insertion from Nesryn and Chaol) who got their own POV’s after the battle (second was technically Rowan, who was ‘Aelin’s POV outside of Aelin’.The third Dorian, who got almost a full two pages). And from this we got that: she got crowned, Aedion got his bond and that Maas have no idea how the city looks after weeks of siege. In her case what angered me the most was ‘Terrasen is my home’ subplot. Only in this tome we read at least 3 times that Aelin will be okay with dying, if only she gets to see Terrasen one last time, or if she get to die on Terrassen soil. But you know what? Maas forgot to write the scene where Aelin actually ‘comes in’.
Mannon
Didn't get her own POV after the battle, but here’s what we’ve got: She is going to the Wastes with Croachans and Ironteeth. Whait. What? Yes, that was the ending of this 500+ years of feud. They fought together and they decided to unite their two species, completely forgetting more than half a millenia of slaughter. I can only hope that there were at least some talks behind the scenes… NO! F*** NO! This isn’t how it works!
Rowan, Dorian, Chaol, Yrene, Lysandra, Aedion, Lorcan, Elide, Nesryn, Sartaq
Lived happily ever after
Secondary minor and total background characters
Survived (I acknowledge that they would be ignored in most books’ epilogues, but this abomination is almost 1000 pages of nothing!!).
Good Scenes
That saying, this book actually had 4 good scenes:
Crochan witches go to war - gathering-forces-to-fight trope, which is my *love-always trope* so I’m not even sure if it was relatively good, or if I’m just a slut for this trope. It was still only a paragraph long though.
[recurring] The children’s tale Aelin repeated to herself to remember who she is.
‘Lorcan Lochan’ - the only marginally funny scene in the whole book
I actually found Darrel making Evangeline his heir charming. Even if circumstances were far-fetched at least.
But the words crime of this book? It was agonisingly, mind-numbingly boring. If the overexplaining and repetitions were to be taken out I highly doubt that there would be 300 pages left.
For these 33 hours of audiobook I suffered through I give it half a star. Because Abraxos exist.
Please see my garishly accurate cover on my instagram! You can also like it there :D
instagram | goodreads
#book#book review#bookworm#review#signofwolf-book_review#opinion#throne of glass#throne of glass series#throne of glass spoilers#sarah j maas#kingdom of ash#aelin galythinius#mary sunderland#tog#fantasy#fandom
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Hello! I want to get into pristin but I don't know much about their personality. If you could can you please give me a small summary of how they are. I know about nayoung. Thank you!
sure!
nayoung
leader aka the mom
looks out for the group’s image 110% of the time
is considerate
also the cutest
all of pristin love her with their entire souls and would probably die for her
her nickname is “na-na” and the little ones call her that all the time
roa/min(k)(g)y(eo)(u)ng
97line pt 1
hella gay for kyungwon/yuha
“eyes that captivate you, roa”
is mature with nayoung and then everything goes to hell with the little ones
iljin princess
looks the prettiest when she sleeps
food is love food is life
yuha
golden girl
golden proportions golden visuals she’s made of gold
gag line pt1
loves roa
is REALLY GOOD at piano
don’t be fooled by her chic exterior she’s a complete dork with the most aegyo you’ll see
loves her dog kang kong (which means bean)
athletic style
(the jacket in her debut teaser was actually her own jacket pledis didn’t rent the jacket for her)
eunwoo
the biggest meme
my dear dear love pls watch your facial movements
loves kyulkyung
“i am a woman of many tears, so i cried for 3 hours”
loves jessica jung with her entire existence
gag line pt 2
spoiler fairy
was punished for spoiling the debut song in a vlive
food is love food is life pt2
also a composer bless this talented lil fluffball
rena/yebin
“hot”
speaks english fluently! was the top of her class in grade school
A TOTAL PLAYER
loves nayoung so much would probably die for her
also loves roa
also tony stark fangirl
smoll and fierce
can play the drums
also super stable in live stages omg
composed black widow which should be the fandom anthem it’s lit
also a meme
loves the little ones protects them with her life
kyulkyung/pinky
nayoung enthusiast
when will nayoung notice her
super excited and hyped up all the time
caring
has something against grey socks? idk
THINKS MINIONS ARE SUPERHEROES THIS DORK
plays the pipa! recorded the pipa part for orange caramel’s the day you went away
is a dancer but is a super stable vocalist as well
has made friends with all of the currently promoting rookie girl groups
seriously she has so many friends
how
yehana/yewon
AN ACTUAL ANGEL TO GRACE THE EARTH
WHEN SHE SMILES FLOWERS BLOOM
SHE’S SO CUTE
natural aegyo the way she talks is cute
chronically confused
smoll and gentle
BUT ONSTAGE HOLY SHIT
dancer and vocalist and then she raps in black widow???
a kind soul pls love her
the most athletically inclined on the team
the fandom’s daughter
sungyeon/shannon
GIRL HIT THEM NOTES
an actual musical genius
composed/wrote lyrics for basically the entire debut album
CARTWHEEL? BLACK WIDOW PERFORMANCE? I’M DEAD
actually a dolphin in disguise
“mariah carey auntie is shaking”
wrote her mom a song for mothers day when she was in third grade???
plays guitar v well
it’s a joke in the fandom that when sungyeon speaks english it’s like the appearance of a wild pokemon or something
gets flustered when speaking english even tho she went to school in america
xiyeon
every s in this paxxage will be a x
becauxe itx edgy like xiyeon
jk i have no energy to turn off autocorrect
the ceo’s favourite daughter
trained for 9 years? started training when she was like 8
can do everything and anything
RESIDENT FCKBOI
flirts with everything and anything
“have you kissed all the members?” “yes. chu
MCyeon bc she’s the resident mc
can be super responsible with the older unnies and then becomes a meme with the little ones
kyla
MY BABY
the responsible maknae
possible the only sane one (with nayoung)
she’s so soft and sweet god bless
a cool baby
“why are you wearing your hood?” “can’t deal with my bangs today.”
“why are you so pretty? your parents?” “yeah genetics”
HAS THE GREATEST OLDER BROTHER
his name is luke massie and he interacts with the fans a lot online
STAN THE ENTIRE MASSIE FAMILY
goes hard with rapping
queen kyla dominate
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