#also completely unrelated but listening back to it omg
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So I used to have an ability where people would tell me things. Not with me asking mind you, just we'd start talking and they'd say things that they'd normally keep secret, or at least not tell a complete stranger. I'd try to warn people, or redirect the conversation if things got too personal, but it still kind of happened. A while ago though, I had something of a burnout, and my "gift" was probably part of it. And now it's gone. Is it weird that I kind of miss it? Even though it was a pain?
I don't think it's “weird” necessarily, reader – you'd grown used to existing in the world in a certain way and it makes sense that you would feel disconcerted when that way of being has been disrupted.
However, I wonder if it might not necessarily be the powers itself that you're missing, but rather the effect those powers had. Specifically, you've grown used to enjoying a remarkable level of intimacy with others without the usual hard work or reciprocation on your part.
Most people need a certain degree of emotional connection with other people in order to stay well. The quantity and quality of connection needed varies from person to person, with some people thriving on what others would find distressingly low levels of emotional engagement.
I wonder if you might have grown used to meeting your own needs in this regards through the use of your powers. That would explain your feelings of loss now, especially if you haven't got other avenues to meet those needs.
To be clear, I am not saying that as a judgement on you – this wasn't a power you asked for, nor one you could control. We have had letters from people in past who took a little too well to having this kind of control over people, and you don't strike me as one of them.
Besides, it is a wonderful feeling, to be trusted with someone's innermost thoughts and feelings. Growing close with others is a notoriously cyclical process – vulnerability is impossible without trust, and trust is impossible without vulnerability.
However, your powers meant you could skip straight to the part where other people are vulnerable with you, without sharing anything of yourself or building a connection with the people you're talking to. Without those powers, you're going to have to take the slow path.
Check in with your friends and loved ones, and try to be honest with them about your own emotions. Reach out to them when you're in need, and let them support you. In time, with a proper investment of effort and emotion, you will be able to build genuine connections with the people around you, replacing the easy hit you once got from your powers with something much more sustainable, and sustaining.
#answered#monstrous agonies#the nightfolk network#the link there is to Episode 46 if you want to listen on your podcatcher of choice#also completely unrelated but listening back to it omg#i had not realised how much my voice has dropped haha#i mean im over a year on T like it shouldnt be that surprising#also how much better my audio editing is lol
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what kind of music do you think cas likes? i was like "what if he was into stuff like lana del rey?" but i think that he'd be into those cheesy love songs... like if he discovered filipino music he'd LOVE the romantic songs
OMG IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT HIS MUSIC TASTE
i’ve talked with other fans and we’ve agreed he’d experiment with different varieties of music since he never completely got the chance to do so before; he was too busy being the grim reaper.
now that he’s no longer bound to 1 role for the entirety of his life… he’d explore. and the different genres of music represents the newfound freedom he experiences, how he’s no longer bound to one responsibility for the rest of his life
but i think eventually, he’d become infatuated with romantic songs, like you said. it not only represents how he’s finally finding himself as himself (and not being controlled by others) but also. His love for MC. anytime he listens to any cheesy pop song (no matter how old or sometimes unrelated) he finds a way to connect it back to MC. i even have a playlist for songs casper would like/remind me of him. it’s here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/72dvGzi6A8Z7xoibjRQdPT?si=zWH6BdXFTi-uMl94GNVW6g&pi=u-0P1kPEsDRzaM
hope this answers ur question anon! feel free to ask more!!!
#anon#adwd#adwd grim#a date with death#adwd casper#a date with death casper#a date with death grim#adwd hcs#sorry anon for going overboard. i have lots of thoughts regarding this man and this is the first time i’ve let it out#and without censoring my rambling so im not talking 24/7 so thank u for this chance#if u have any other questions lmk!! i have plenty of ideas hehe#also!! please send me filipino reqs id love to add#another bc we all came up with is that casper is polyglot; death affects everyone so why be restricted to 1 tongue yknow?#i think all reapers are naturally polyglot; they’re born that way (mc is jealous)#anyway that’s enough of my rambling!!#enjoy this post
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(make me) misbehave was completed ages ago but obviously I'm still not over it because I NEED to get more lore on sky blue if there is any please and thank you. If there isn't any, maybe drop us a random fact you never got to include in the fic? Loads of love, thanks for making such a wonderful fic, xoxo, etc. etc. etc.
hello my friend!!! omg of COURSE i am always down to talk about make me misbehave!! (sorry this took me a while to get to i am the worst and i forget about things as soon as they’re out of my sight)
i’m gonna put this under a read more because i yapped more than i meant to :)
sky blue!! sky blue is a song that i have extra lyrics for, actually, so it’s a good one to ask about!!
since this was in the era where they were doing a lot of flying to meet up with each other, i always pictured alex writing this one on a plane, hence the “metal wings, metal hearts” line
i actually wrote the prologue scene, where they talk about this song on the phone, before i’d written most of the first chapter, so it was kind of fun to find my way to a place where that conversation would make sense for their relationship. it was actually a little tough, because while i was writing chapter 1 and 2 i tried to keep henry a little bit more reserved, seeing as he’s trying so hard to protect himself in this situation. but sky blue seemed like such a vulnerable song from alex that it required at least some measure of vulnerability from henry in return!! so establishing that balance with henry was one of the harder parts of writing those early chapters. (but i also think that mix of vulnerability with an attempt at a more restrained distance is one of the most compelling aspects of henry in canon!! so it felt important to get right!)
the little “misheard lyric” thing (ALT in the screenshot) was just for fun!! i like to think it really WAS just misheard by fans, but alex liked the “baby boy” version of the lyric so he started using it in his shows after he comes out <3
also little bonus lore!! unrelated to sky blue, but i was just thinking about this today, i think that after he comes back from his little hiatus alex drops an album called “unreleased” which includes old songs that he cut from previous albums for various reasons. including!! a couple of his depressing pining songs from their brief breakup
i am gonna link a song below because i’ve been listening to it recently and it feels very much like something alex would’ve written after henry left (like, “Since you left, I try my best to forget/I can't escape the love we made, it follows me/I can't escape from your love”???!!! also apparently i’ve been mishearing a lyric but in the chorus i always hear “how can i be so stupid/fighting and losing, fighting and losing” which feels very much like it fits ACD’s headspace at that time)
i try not to impose my own music taste on the story too much but the rawness of this song very much makes me think of their breakup era
ANYWAYS
thank you so much for asking me this question, i really appreciate the opportunity to talk about (mm)m!! i hope you enjoy my nonsensical rambling in response MWAHH
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What would you think if Chloe and Audrey heard rumours about the way they were going to be portrayed in Astruc’s new movie, so they went back to Paris in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the movie from being completed? Then an evilized villain (maybe a wishmaker-like villain or maybe even a villain that's unrelated to the butterfly miraculous) caused Chloe and Zoe to switch bodies somehow, and nobody fully understands what's going on, so Zoe (in Chloe's body) is taken by Audrey back to New York, despite Zoe desperately trying to explain things. But Chloe enters a fugue state (heavily due to trauma caused by the neglect of her parents) and genuinely thinks she's Zoe, and is even able to recall many of the things Zoe did due to being in Zoe's body. The class thinks “Zoe's” change in behavior is due to the psychological effects of method acting, since “Zoe” is playing Chloe in Astruc's new movie, but they gradually convince “Zoe” to let them help her relearn how to be “herself” again. Meanwhile, in New York, Zoe is trying to get back to Paris, but when she gets there, “Zoe” thinks she’s there to try to hurt Marinette.
Eventually, after listening to “Chloe”, Marinette starts to suspect that “Chloe” might be telling the truth, so she decides that she must test “Chloe” and “Zoe”. She fakes being in danger to see how they react. “Zoe” reacts slightly faster than “Chloe”, so Marinette comes to the conclusion that “Chloe” is lying and that “Chloe” has an evil and manipulative plan. Marinette thinks that “Chloe” must have picked up a few tricks from Lila, because she thinks no version of Chloe could possibly react faster than Zoe when it comes to protecting her. So Audrey takes “Zoe” back to New York again to “correct” her after “Zoe” fails to convince anyone of the truth.
10 years later, “Zoe” gets seriously injured after fighting a villain when Ladybug isn’t around, which causes “Zoe” to not have long to live. Then Ladybug accidentally stumbles upon the truth about “Zoe” while trying to help “Zoe” using magical powers. Ladybug decides that the moral thing to do is to switch Chloe and Zoe back to their original bodies. Once Zoe gets her body back, she blames Chloe for her impending death and for leaving her with 10 years of loneliness, while Chloe got off scot-free. When Lila gets defeated, Zoe steals the Butterfly Miraculous to get her hands on Ladybug and Catnoir’s miraculouses, hoping to “make things right”. Zoe gets defeated by the heroes (including Chloe, who has gotten her memories back) and Ladybug manages to cure Zoe’s injuries.
My first reaction was *speechless*
My second reaction was “OMG SMEXY ADULT VILLAINESS WHO HAPPENS TO BE PART OF MIRACULOUS AND IS A LESBIAN!!!”
Ignore my bad butterfly miraculous Zoe design, her main design is her adult form.
Is there a fanfic for this??
Istg this is so great omg omg omg *screams*
I Imagine the villain being a porcelain villain, their attacks having a slow scaring effect similar to Gabriel’s cataclysmed arm. So the cracks grow slowly until she shatters.
Also she gives me wine drinking young adult woman person.
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what do you think leland’s laugh sounds like? unrelated but related, i feel like connie snorts when she laughs sometimes, or squeaks !
Omg, hi anon!! I would absolutely LOVE to talk about this actually!!
I completely agree on the Connie thing!!! She definitely has the cutest little laugh- maybe not by conventional standards, but Connie is generally adorable, and I also like to think that she's the type that has the little nose scrunch thing going on, too. Big grins, lots of little giggles too. She's so baby! <333
Now, as for Leland, I think it all depends what kind of laughter we're talking about. It's usually chuckles, which gradually grow in volume the harder he's laughing. If he's in an absolute fit, I could totally see him having that kind of really loud but not obnoxious laugh, you know what I mean? Like not bellowing necessarily, but the type that you can definitely hear comes from his belly more than his throat. He has the most precious smile when he laughs as well!!! Not the most toothy grin, that comes moments before some kind of a joke pointed at someone else, he's definitely got some of the most witty quips out of everybody.
You'd probably be in some kind of a cozy setting, with him and maybe a few other folks. Probably out camping with the group or what have you, and he'd give you some kind of cheeky smirk before making a joke- probably something embarrassing directed at you, maybe a silly encounter from a few months back- struggling to keep a straight face and his voice absolutely wavers in pitch too. Moments later, he's burst out laughing, hearty and a warm sort of feel to the sound that leaves you fuzzy inside and smiling right back at him. He's a funny guy by nature, not intention, and his laughter is the most contagious laugh you'd probably hear from the whole group.
In situations where there's a more mild joke or some brief amusement, he's the type to give a little scoff, but not in a mean or condescending way. He's generally got a very nice sounding laugh, something you could listen to for a long while and not get bored of. Everything about him, down to literally the sound of his laughter, is just downright precious. He has such soft energy!! oml (now meaning oh my Leland) he is so adorable.
Thanks for the ask!! <3333
#tcm game#texas chainsaw massacre#tcm#leland mckinney#leland tcm#headcanon#hcs#send me asks#please i love them#big thoughts go brr#live laugh love leland#mwah#<3
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Do u have any byler fic recs? I’ve read all ur work and it’s wonderful!
hii omg thank u :’)) i’m going to try my hardest not to only list every single of my friends’ fics on here or ones that have been recc’d a million times even though they are all deserving of a million reads!!
you are sick (and you’re married) by @wiseatom: OK i said i wouldn’t list every one of my friends’ fics on here but thea’s modern coffee shop au immediately came to mind. everything she’s written has been so incredible but she characterizes will and max especially so well in this! delivering to us the cringefail will content we need for reallll <3 i am so in love with her writing and something about her style just makes so much sense. i tell her this every single day but it will never be enough, because her will is so precious to me and i need thea to quit her job and only write loser4loser byler for the rest of her life. read this! or else! (coffee shop au, modern setting, cringefail will byers tm)
king of my heart by @bookinit02: i had to restrict myself in choosing just one of haven’s fics for this list because i love her and i would put every one of her fics on every list ever if i could, but this fic. THIS FIC. listen. i don’t cry easily when reading fics but this one. i was reading it in the living room and my roommate came down and she said, “suni, are you okay?” and i said “yeah, why?” and she said, “oh, i thought you just got dumped or something :(“ and i didn’t know how to tell her that the reason i was eating ice cream out of the tub on the couch at midnight while crying quietly in my comfort hoodie and fuzzy socks was because of this fic. that’s all i have to say <3 (soulmate au, angst, fics that tear my heart out of my chest)
in from the snow by @parkitaco: every one of parker’s fics is near and dear to my heart, and i’ve gushed at them about it in their comments and inbox and asks but this was my most recent completed read and it has literally everything i could’ve asked for ! ice skating date! established byler! jewish byers!!! her characterization is incredible and her established byler is my favorite i’ve ever read EVER in my entire life ohhh my god. she has so many wonderful fics and i literally cannot choose a favorite because they’re all 10000/10s so do urself a favor and binge her entire collection of works if, for some reason, you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t done so yet :^) (winter fic, hannukah, established byler, mike wheeler’s pathetic inability to ice skate)
want for anything (and everything): the writing in this fic is so beautiful. like. i am a sucker for fluff yes but also i’m a sucker for fics that just rip my heart right out of my body with how well written they are. i was looking through my bookmarks for this list and i haven’t read this in a while but my bookmark notes said, and i quote, “EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SOOOOOOO!!!!!! IM AHSJDJDJDJSKSKKSKSKSKDKDJ” which sums it up perfectly in my opinion. post s3 mike and will figuring out their relationship and this author has such vice grip on me because i immediately binged the entire series too!! (six unrelated fics but each one of them are so. SO. GOOD!!) (this series has a whole bunch of premises so i’m just going to let u all figure that out for urself by making u read every single one of them. lol)
selfless; self destruct: i find myself coming back to this fic a lot because i have such a soft spot for will and mike finding each other again and repairing their relationship. the writing in this fic is so heartbreaking and the will pov in this was so spot on! they have a whole phone conversation about toast that just. it was so small and so simply and so raw and so THEM that i literally had to put my phone down. i’m sure i recommended this already but i can’t rec this fic enough !! (angst, post s4, reconnection)
hanging on the telephone by @elmaxed: lumi’s writing is just so. i don’t know how to explain it but the way they write is so soothing and easy and it conveys so much emotion with such simple dialogue and prose. everything lumi writes is s tier and this fic was no exception !! i Need more will and mike talking on the phone during the 6 months will was gone and it was really incredible reading this from mike pov. the characterization, the dialogue, mike’s struggle with his feelings for will vs what he should be feeling for will,, literally just the whole package. read it immediately if you haven’t !! (post s3, phone calls, mike wheeler’s ongoing homosexual crisis)
who you gonna call? (mike wheeler!) by @andiwriteordie: OK everyone and their mom has read andi’s fics because she’s famous and a legend and also one of my best friends (!) so it would be redundant for me to shake you by the shoulders and demand you read her fics but. this one is just so so special to me! like this one specifically. every one of her fics is incredible masterful beautiful but THIS ONE IS JUST SO!! i can’t explain why i come back to this fic so many times (other than the fact that it’s perfect). college byler where mike is an ra and will visits him, except they keep getting interrupted by the students on mike’s floor. ugh. perfect. holding it so close to my heart forever and ever <3 (college au, established byler, interruption trope x100)
bonus!! these fics aren’t byler but they are some of my all time favorites and i would shout their praise from the rooftops for all eternity if i could :^)
in the morning i’ll be better: jancy jancy jancy jancy jancy !!! stoprobbers on ao3 has some of the best, if not THE best jancy fics i’ve ever read! the characterization, the plot, the tenderness ☹️ jancy usually gets sidelined in byler fics so i eat up every single fic where they’re the main couple and this is everything i need from season 5. nancy’s talk with steve, reconnecting with jonathan, UGH. just. everything about this. (reconnection, jancy talking their issues through, nancy whooping steve’s ass for the six little nuggets monologue)
a life in your shape: if any of you are stoncy readers, this fic is the gift that keeps on giving. nancy and steve get engaged, and jonathan, their best friend, is,,, he’s dealing! i don’t read a lot of stoncy just because i feel like fics that are my style are few and far between, but for writing like this, i’d read any pairing the author wrote for. i have a sweet spot for this relationship and the way that the chemistry between all three of them is so palpable and balanced is so rare and beautiful to read! 36k of some of the best writing i’ve ever read i swear even if you’re not a big stoncy fan this fic might just convert u :^) (2/3 of an established relationship, 3 way pining, weddings)
november and july by @lookslikefireflies: this is such a wonderful max and will fic and probably the best max character study i’ve ever read. GOD the writing had me clutching at my heart in beautiful, glorious pain. just so many lines in this fic that i think about so much. takes place between s2 and s4 and just. i literally have no words. the way this author writes max is so so special to me, i want to put this prose in a mug and sip it on a cold day. the relationships between will and max and also max and mike and even though byler isn’t a focus of this fic, you can really see will’s struggle with his relationship with mike post s3 even though it’s not through his pov. i just come back to this fic a lot when i’m sad it’s so warm and gorgeous and just. ☹️☹️☹️ (max character study, angst, fics that make me curl up into a ball and weep)
i’m honestly not the best at fic recs because i keep forgetting to bookmark ones i like before i close the tab but i hope you enjoy these :^)
#phew#this took me so long on mobile#i hope u guys like these !!#tried to not. rec ones that everyone and their mother has already rec’d#all of these deserve one million hits and kudos fr#byler#fic#byler fic rec#fic rec#idk what to tag this w
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WAAAAH the mv the mv omg the mv !!!!! when i said i enjoy seeing my favs in pain this is. Not what i meant ;; i was super busy giffing it since i am oh so normal about this. Like im pretty sure she DID kill one of her abusers, but also,, i think it's the reasoning that's the main thing to consider. cause she definitely didn't kill them *because* they abused her, but because they broke the rules of the cult. So she just followed the cult's teaching. i wasn't thinking too deeply into it, but i was wondering if maybe her abuser was a drug addict or something?? idk But i love her sm, so im voting her inno <3 I really want to know WHO she killed. Also the man and girl in the mv, I think they informed her parent/guradian about amane bandaging the cat, before leaving? Though I'm not sure ;; BUT IM ACTUALLY SUPER UPSET ABOUT THE VOTING ;; since it seems most people are considering how amane can hurt shidou rather than like. her entire situation?? like idk i feel like even if shidou did not bother defending himself, there are?? other prisoners who'd get in amane's way if she tried to attack him??? anyways im gonna go back to ignoring the horrors- @erimnar
!!!!!! This video !!!!!
Yessss, I'm always here for the angst! (<- loves listening to Fuuta and Shidou goin thru it in t2) but Not Like This Please ;____;
Ough you're right and I think it's sooooo juicy that her murder wasn't revenge for her abuse -- she still thinks it's justified, but thinks everyone needs to play by the same rules. It adds a new layer to it because she's not like Muu/Mikoto trying to protect herself, but by some of those lines you can still feel her anger and know (at least subconsciously) she is acting in part out of personal feelings for what they did to her. That last second of her driving home the point they were merciless to her gave me Chills ahhhhh
>:0 I had assumed her victim broke the commandments by killing the cat, but that'd be so interesting if it was something completely unrelated! Even moreso if it was something the audience could be sympathetic to, like addiction 👀👀👀 oohhh I'm definitely going to go digging on that, there's a lot of things it could be...
I'm so curious about the man and girl!! Because I don't think Amane saw them, so she wouldn't know they told on her? But also they must be important? Based on the Undercover image of her on the bathroom tile during the water torture, I'm inclined to think the blue cult leader (gozake I think?) is her victim. But is he the man? How does he relate to her equally abusive mother? <- apparently one of the process gifs labeled the woman with the taser as her mother. Who would have broken the vow enough to kill? *shakes the mv violently*
I'm also going to vote her innocent!! Though I love that people are voting for whatever reason they choose, I do think it's interesting that they're more scared for Shidou's safety than hers :/ Because you're right! It'd be so easy for him/others to protect himself, while she could be crushed under the weight of another guilty verdict ;-----; Prison antics aside, I also think she's very justified for her murder: 1. She was taught with violence and taught it's okay to deal out violence. That's not her fault for accepting that information. 2. Even if not directly intended, she did get revenge on her abusers and she has my full support for that 👏👏👏
#omg ive wanted to rant all day about it but i was so busy asfgvh#why cant everyone know it was Purge March Day dont bother meeee#i have to run again but thank you!!!#omg its all so cool#i have so many thoughts#and just in general the marching band symbol/aesthetic SLAPS#ill have to peek at the gifs later oooh! 👀#milgram#amane momose#ask#tw child abuse#tw cults#drabbles
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Okay, I've been meaning to do this post for a while - you know how sometimes you're listening to a song, totally innocent and unrelated, and all of a sudden WHAM it hits you that this song (the lyrics OMG the LYRICS) are just So Your Blorbo/OTP?
Yeah, that.
Anyway, may I present:
Moonraker
(arguably one of my most favorite Bond songs)
Here are the lyrics in their entirety:
Where are you
Why do you hide
Where is that moonlight trail that leads to your side
Just like the moonraker goes
In search of his dream of gold
I search for love
For someone to have and hold
I've seen your smile
In a thousand dreams
Felt your touch
And it always seems
You love me
You love me
Where are you
When will we meet
Take my unfinished life and make it complete
Just like the moonraker knows
His dream will come true someday
I know that you
Are only a kiss away
I've seen your smile
In a thousand dreams
Felt your touch
And it always seems
You love me
You love me
And now let's get to what hit me about this song and Helena Wells:
Helena explains her time machine and how it works with, among other things, with this:
I'd become intrigued by the idea of Gestalt, the collective unconscious. What if one were able to connect with the mind of someone who lived centuries ago?
We also know that she was conscious while in the Bronze - and I've always wondered: what if her unattached consciousness were able to join the collective unconscious through there? (which in and of itself is a different essay)
And then when I heard "I've seen your smile in a thousand dreams", it hit me: what if she saw glimpses of Myka, while in the Bronze? What if, among the millions of minds she touched only ever just once, there was this one mind, this one person, that her consciousness kept coming back to. Because "it always seemed you loved me". And oh, how starved Helena is for love. Imagine seeing glimpses of Myka's smile, again and again, and feeling like the owner of that smile loves you, loves you, loves you-
And then you get unbronzed and maybe, among the million things you need to do... maybe you search, with half an eye, every now and then, when the opportunity presents itself, because heaven forbid you devote important time on that but oh how you dream of love-
And then you tell yourself it doesn't matter, it's just a pipe dream, you are not made for love, you are made for oblivion, yours and that of the entire human race-
And then you run into her and realize you're on opposite sides.
(I know this second GIF has text that isn't the actual subtitles from the show but OH MY GOD is it ever accurate, Jo bless you Jo!)
And you try. Oh how you try, tro wrestle your life away from the tracks you yourself have set it on, to stop hurtling towards oblivion and start turning towards that smile, that touch, that love. And you have read enough tragedies to know that it is impossible, you know that ink with which you have mapped out your plan is indelible, but you try-
you try
you try
you try
Now. The only part of the lyrics I have beef with is that concept of someone else completing you - but! Hear me out: Sometimes, someone comes into your life and- doesn't complete you, no, but offers you an insight into yourself that makes a lot of things suddenly make sense.
The italicized "oh."
And while the song started out to be a Helena Wells song, suddenly we're in Myka's head: the head of someone who, faced with the fact that H.G. Wells is a woman (nice catch there, agent), that she is this woman, who faced with all this starts processing, starts realizing, starts making connections between new input and old memories, and oh.
Oh.
So let's say Myka has had dreams too - just snatches, glimpses, a smile here, a touch there, the elation of two like minds connecting, the heady rush of being lifted to the sky, none of them remembered in the morning - but oh how they come charging in now, now that she is faced with H.G.-Wells-is-actually-a-woman.
But Agent Myka Bering is not one to trust her dreams - hell no. Facts only, please, hard, observable, ideally peer-reviewed facts- but here is this woman, is H.G. Wells, this woman out of her time, this smile she's seen in a thousand impossible dreams, this touch she's felt that always seems so-
Facts.
Facts only, please.
But maybe, just mabye, among the million things she needs to do, maybe she can make time for the owner of that smile, maybe she can indulge in the thought that the purveyor of that touch isn't all evil, maybe there is a dream that might come true someday-
And she tries.
She tries.
She tries.
She tries.
(thank you to all the GIF makers. You are seriously amazing. There was a GIF, sometimes multiples, for every single scene that I wanted, and I stand in awe of your talents. GIFs in this post by:
lonely-night
kiraslight
aflawedfashion
maiagaru
finehs and
taikoturtle
THANK YOU.)
#Warehouse 13#Bering and Wells#angst and pain#can you say 'doomed by the narrative'#i am NOT sorry#this is not a songfic#this is definitely not a coherent analysis#this is me rambling on about lyrics that made me froth at the mouth#in order to inflict this on all of you#my post but not my GIFs
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1, 3, 4, and 5 for zim :)
YAY ZIM!!! i'm actually listening to my alien playlist right now hehehe
1 - How does your F/O respond to seeing you hurt or upset? Do they act caring, immediately go into “who do I have to beat up” mode, or both?
oh he gets PISSED. he's not the best at comforting, which i totally understand because neither am i (it's the autism solidarity), but he IMMEDIATELY wants to know who is telling me these things and where they live so he can destroy them and their families and he Refuses To Take No For An Answer. he is VERY protective... in his own special way
3 - Is your F/O ever willing to put themselves in harm’s way for you? If so, describe what you predict or imagine, or a time when they have before.
normally he would never even think of doing something like putting himself in harm's way for the sake of another person but for me, yeah. love is a weird thing like that. he also gets really defensive if i dare bring it up and insists that he will never be soft by any means, ESPECIALLY not for a human (he is very soft) (especially for a human) (the human is me)
4 - Does your F/O prefer sunny days or rainy days? What about you? Do your preferences match? How do you both handle these days? What do you do together on either of these days?
i prefer rainy days which... is extremely unfortunate when irkens are basically allergic to water. learned that one the hard way when i tried to drag him outside into the rain
5 - Do you and your F/O sleep together at night? Is there a specific sleeping arrangement? Who hogs the blankets and pillows?
omg YES, and he is so tiny it's like sleeping with a stuffed toy HAHAHAHA. there is no way in hell he'd ever admit it, but he adores cuddles. irkens don't even need sleep, but he's adjusted to my own sleep schedule for what he claims is reasons completely unrelated to our relationship. also he steals all the blankets and pillows, i am never getting them back
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Hi Daisy!!
I'm excited for Sweet Night! I was wondering if I could be added to your taglist for it? 🥰🥰🥰
P.S. Completely unrelated but I saw your "I miss SHINee" posts in passing - fam same 😭 been listening to Diamond Sky a lot these days 🥲 And also!!! I'm so happy your friend bought the Key album for you!!! It was a banger! 🥳
omg hiii holly <3 i can absolutely add you to the taglist for it! tysm for the interest <3
also yeah <3 i miss shinee every day... when will taemin be returned to me... i'm pretty sure there'll be a comeback once he's officially done w his service (it'd surprise me if there wasn't) but i want them back now :( i still need to go back and finish watching shinee world 5 soon
also aaa it still doesnt feel real!!! literally hes so nice for that and im like "i owe u my life" and he's like "i'd do anything for key" so ksdfhsdf we were both on the same wavelength there haha (the first album i ever bought was bad love!! love u key)
i love gasoline So much... (dont take that out of context). literally anytime anything from it comes up on my playlist i'm so happy <3 one day i'll go through and rank the album but honestly all of it slaps. i love key's solo work so much tbh he has such a specific energy to him... no one is doing it like him tbh
slightly related but... why did i never get told abt falling free... minho wtf why didnt he tell me personally. spotify is like hey heres a new release for you :) like how recent was this!! im hurting </3
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KinnPorsche Episode 1 - 13 Live Blogging
Now that there are like 12 days left until the end, thought I’d start the show. I’m glad I waited until now to watch the show because I’ve seen a lot of opinions and some clips here and there so that I can kinda adjust my expectations better to avoid disappointment (apparently it's got: great acting, the plot is shaky/sometimes nonexistent, delicious dynamics, more comedic than expected, more romance than mafia).
Honestly, regardless of what this show does or doesn’t do well, I’ve read some of the AO3 fics that were completed before the show aired (or like up to episode 2) and some writers/fics write suchhhh good Kinn/Porsche dynamics that I’ll just go back to those + newer fics.
Also, it’s funny because I know like the first 2-3 episode stuff because I didn’t care about being spoiled for that and then hardly know anything from ep ep 5 - 10, but know almost everything regarding character/relationship dynamics from ep 11/12 lol.
Episode 1 (June 27)
I’ve watched nearly the whole episode from gifs when it first came out + read some of the comments on r/boys_love On Air post for this + listened to the BE Podcast’s episode on episode 1 like 2 hours ago, so I wonder if that’ll hinder or aid my enjoyment of this.
the gelato dick joke i’ve seen gif sets of
Apo unbelievably attractive
I wish the first scene we see with Kinn was in the actor’s native language or one he’s fluent in.
also the iconic “People say I’m more like my mom”
ngl i don’t really see why Kinn killed that random guy. Just as a warning to make sure the big guy doesn’t cheat anymore?
Porsche’s charming ass “50 thousand” (Though I don’t get why Kinn needs his help)
i don’t get what was up with the goons lol there were so many of them and I’m guessing they were sent by the man Kinn kinda threatened, why did some of em try to kill Kinn with guns and others kinda just had knives and hit him and stuff. I should stop looking into this because wtf were them just missing the shots from 2 meters away lol
my never ending Porsche beautiful comments goddamn
they use gu/meung with each other
omg slight crypto criticism, as there should be. I know the uncle’s a Problem though
their fight choreography is pretty good but makes me freaking dizzy
the inhaler ad thing lol
oh yeah Chay calls Porsche Hia. I didn’t expect that in the fics
Porsche and Chay are so cute but I can barely enjoy it because I know the happiness is boutta go down the drain because of stupid ass uncle
I’ve seen both Porsche’s uncle and Kinn’s dad in other BLs
omg Porsche is a student?
alsjnsja I knew Jom was Porsche’s friend’s name cuz of the BE episode but this is hilarious, why’d he give a real persons name T.T
so Kinn got his watch back that he gave Porsche? he got it for 700k but it should be 2mil?
Kinn’s so brash lol first how he dealt with the other mafia guy that lead him to be chased and now just kidnapping Porsche lol
Porsche is so beautiful and full of audacity. Makes me wanna read fic inside Kinn’s head as Porsche speaks to him with such callousness. omg he spit at Kinn’s face. Unrelated but i read a fic where Kinn spit in Porsche’s mouth it was great 👍
Porsche really fights dirty lol
lol the music as Porsche jumps into the water
oh yeah I think I kinda remember that it was Kinn’s father who wanted Porsche as the bodyguard, not Kinn himself
oof the uncle
I really like Porsche and Chay’s scenes. The way they were still joking around but teary eyed and trying to stay strong for each other. The letter was so fucked up though like I get why he had to but omg imagine waking up the next day after all the horribleness of the night before only to find out your brother has vanished and you literally just have 0 family left
Here’s the thing. The K: “don’t forget your life is mine now” P: “My life is mine” is good for the show, that type of pushback is interesting. However, this line is also soooo good for the dynamics of the fics.
Porsche having to agree to this job he doesn’t want where he can get killed despite originally rejecting because of the need for money is reminding me of Squid Game
Good starting episode, interesting to watch it while I knew literally everything that was gonna happen lol. Porsche is beautiful. Fun dynamic where Kinn and Porsche seem to get on the other’s nerves.
Episode 2 (June 27)
I considered watching only 1 episode a day so that I don’t have to wait for episode 14 to release but umm that won’t be happening rip
They just have Perth speaking English for fun lol
?? Is that Pete and is he just not wearing any pants? lmfao
Porsche being like “Kinn’s younger child? I thought he was the big bro, acting all mature. Ai’Sutt” is so cute somehow. funny guy
Porsche is such a prankster but my guy having to face the prank himself because he’s so obvious is so akdljf was it toothpaste that he put in the drink?
Who are the guys with Kinn? His friends? and also they’re dating
The fact that “Or are you scared?” works with people is wild to me like uhh yeah
Anyway, iconic apple shooting scene and iconic Porsche waiting until he’s private to show his nervousness
Smoking in front of the no smoking sign lol
Poor Porsche, mans is a mess but I’ll let it pass since he’s having to be Kinn’s bodyguard despite not wanting to + having to let Kinn shoot at his head
Did Apo actually hafta pee or is it just like a bottle squirting thing
lmfao Tankhun has arrived - it’s the way I’ve watched both TharnType and Second Chance that Tong is in
I can see the carps aren’t dead
Porsche mermaid
the tie choosing scene :0 I get it though Porsche is freaking beautiful
a goat sound effect after Porsche fell?
lmfao Kinn giving an interview about bread
I’m dreading Porsche getting drunk and embarrassing himself/Kinn
lol finally the “Ohh nice man” “She’s killing me!”
Oooh did Vegas send the (lesbian) murder attempt lady? Based on nothing but the English + the minor family being brought up soon
I think sometimes the show is too comedic and it takes away from it, like when Porsche falls asleep while Kinn’s lecturing him
my watching the first Vegas-Pete interaction with wide wide eyes because I’ve already seen clips of their shenanigans in ep 11/12 and liked them lol
bruh is this kid from the minor family? Porsche is just trouble maker 3000 fr omg the kid’s even bleeding from the head
oooh Macau, I remember some people shipping Macau/Chay instead of Kim/Chay but I didn’t know what that meant
Kinn slapping Porsche... slapping slapping slapping slapping slapping
this is not my twitter but my twitter certain knows what men being slapped does to me and how every time it happens it’s like an angry or fighting scene and hmuch i keep wanting it to be in a proper nsfw scene instead
omg slapping + choking + the humiliation of it all, this is what that fic was about. like just watching the scene is me going “oh?” but if I think of the dynamics and fics and nsfw implications, it’s like O.O oh.
and all of that in order to save Porsche’s life. wild times
Ooh, Porsche being bad at making coffee the first time he gives it to Kinn was also in a fic I read.
lol Tankhun.
Vegas’s dad wants him to keep an eye on Porsche. I guess this leads to the rape attempt? Also does this mean it was in fact not Vegas or his father who sent the lady to sus out Porsche before?
A very comedic episode, wish it was a bit less comedic, I liked it more when it was about the conflict with the minor family. Liked getting to see more of how stuff works with this mafia. We saw no Chay at all, how’s little guy doing.
Should I watch Episode 2.5 now or later? Maybe later when waiting for episode 14 to air, right?
Episode 3 (June 28)
lol Tankhun and his dramas but why did Kinn say “who showed by brother this?” asklfj Tankhun is mid-20s at least, he’s gotta know what porn is already
the party at the bar scene Tankhun you’re so fun
is this the Cherry I’ve seen mentioned sometimes in KP fics?
lmfao “the best bodyguards are out there with Papa” @ Porsche who is definitely not out there protecting anybody
A hair dye product placement?
lol Porsche improving his bodyguard skills enough that he can say “Hey nice one loser” to Perth’s character
Dang Porsche flashbacking to his uncle’s beat up face as Kinn’s bodyguards beat up this other guy who owes him money + sold his secret (which secret by the way aklsfj is it the same thing Pete was talking about in episode 2 after Porsche woke up from being choked? Something that changed Kinn from being kind?)
Kinn signaling Pete to take Porsche outside when he notices Porsche is uncomfortable
oof Porsche realizing he’s now of the people who has to teach the people who can’t pay back loans “a lesson” despite his family having to go through it on the other side previously
Aw, Pete growing up to learn that there are no heroes nor villains in this world. Like he’s certainly not doing the actions of a hero
Why would you leave somebody you beat tf out of alone
Yeah bro, I don’t get whether we’re supposed to believe Kinn is smart because he does some real dumb shit like you know there are guns and weapons in the room and you just leave the man you made an enemy out of in there? Perhaps it’s arrogance (the belief that he wouldn’t dare)
oof first time Porsche had to shoot to kill a guy + got shot himself
what about the doctor we saw in ep 2 who takes care of the injured lol
“This place belongs to me. So every thing in it belongs to me.” okay Kinn, I agree
it’s funny how every time they make prolonged eye contact my guy Porsche just looks and Kinn starts being like agh, fuck, time for me to leave
Wish I didn’t already know the insider is Tawan
lol we got Jeff Satur silhouette
Pete’s so attractive in his bar outfit cuz his hair’s not in a bowl cut thing
What’s up with Kinn’s friend who has a bf touching the shoulder of one of Porsche’s friends and sharing a look?
Porsche having a great time partying the night after he got shot lol
I still don’t know how mafia sons can just party like this (esp the day after Kinn got assassinated almost) but like good for them i guess
This Porsche dragging Kinn to lay down/sit at the pier all drunk is sooo cute. I remember I saw a tiktok of it when it came out and it was so cute
omg “I did everything I hate today” ?! It can’t be the same day right?? Maybe the Cherry/Kinn -> Kinn sanitizing Porsche’s wound happened in the daylight and not at night. rip mans really collected a debt, got shot, killed a man, then went out to party while all sad about it
Oof Porsche is really, really going through it “I killed a father. His kid’s definitely gonna be in much trouble as I was.”
Oh, they kiss. I mean Porsche is drunk out of his mind and Kinn kisses him but like I know some drugged up sex is boutta come up next episode so this is a much smaller blip
How’s Chay doing, I wonder? Porsche is around town, going to his usual club, but no communication or anything with Chay.
Episode 4 (June 28)
lol my guy Porsche doesn’t even remember who he kissed. Kinn really went he ain’t gonna remember any of this, my time to shine.
Dang, Kinn’s thinking about the kiss. Wonder how he’ll react once Porsche doesn’t remember or like how the remembering vs forgetting will shape their interaction
oof Vegas has found Porsche. I know he’s gonna attempt to rape Porsche + that torture scene with Pete is also a few episodes down the line but he looks so normal and mundane now.
lol Kinn jealous of the Vegas and Porsche interaction while Porsche doesn’t remember the kiss at all and doesn’t interpret the interaction as anything other than friendly. It really is like regular uni BLs but higher stakes
Naurrr Kinn be specific what the hell is “About last night, are you okay with it?” At least Porsche mentioned the herbal spirits, otherwise Kinn would’ve been walking around with some very different notions about their relationship
lmfao of course Porsche would get himself a chance to use the sauna and of course Kinn would come in
ooh a Pheonix tattoo, I think I remember fics mentioning something about Porsche and a pheonix
Bruh I thought they were gonna maybe talk about Chay and have someone check up on him or something but Porsche just said “He should be okay, probably playing around while I’m not around” and then asked about Kim like...
not the “If you were a girl, would you like me?” Kinn you are a mafia boss, stand upppp
girl, there’s gonna be so many more episodes before the random VegasPete sexual torture + non-torture sex with feelings scenes but I’m watching all of their interactions like O.O
girl not the Vegas taking Pete’s spot so that he’s on Porsche’s left and so Kinn coming in to join and take Arm or Pol’s chair so that he’s on Porsche’s right. Wild ass dynamics because it’s literally regular Thai BL but they’re mafia + Porsche is gonna get nonconed one way or another, praying for you my dude
Cheese product placement
I knew they were gonna have tension about putting food on Porsche’s plate
Big gave Porsche something to give to Kinn and I can feel it in my bones that it’s gonna be that scene where Porsche has to hide and watch Kinn have sex
I’m dying this is so alkjdfs it’s like when I had to pause 5 times to watch some Secret Crush On You scenes
Porsche ain’t homophobic at least
Pete: “Everyone here knows. I thought you knew.” Porsche: “No I don’t. I don’t know a damn thing.” lol funny guy really had to take Cherry home previously after he and Kinn had fucked I presume and he still didn’t know/guess
Porsche remembering that he and Kinn kissed -> Porsche like a dumbass “Do you think people who aren’t a couple can kiss each other?” -> Pete: batting eyelashes. Bro I like Pete and Porsche so much
What’s Pete wearing, is it a lungi?
Finally some Chay again. I don’t know why I thought he was like a freshman in uni, seems like he’s actually a senior in high school?
Beautiful, beautiful Jeff Satur + his pretty voice
Did Chay steal that poor girl’s shirt with his answer lol - oh no, he didn’t, good
I’m so excited for Chay lol adorable Also I do love a celebrity/fan thing and I think the only other BL that gave me that was Close Friend 2, so we’ll see how this one handles it (I say despite already knowing the jist of how it’s handled up to episode 12)
“I wanna know, if he didn’t return me to you, would you ever think of taking me back?” Wild, wild question from Porsche. Delicious dynamics with the wording being so... ownership-y. Also kills me that they use gu/meung with each other. rip Kinn’s answer “For me, all our people are the same.” like bro noo Porsche remembered the kiss
I guess this would’ve been a big reveal [That WIK is Kim, that Kim’s suspicious of Porsche being the mole, that Kim sees Chay’s Porsche’s brother] if I didn’t know it all because of the promos and spoilers
Dang Kim’s got a board of photos and connections. What’s he uncovering? Is it just possible mole stuff?
The guy who plays Vegas (Bible) isn’t my type but he’s charming somehow? The way he says “isn’t that right?” with a little laugh is uh nice. I don’t know what about him is so disarming in these scenes considering I’ve seen what he can do and know he’s boutta drug Porsche
Anyway, Kinn asked for Porsche back from Tankhun lol
I didn’t really get the convo about “tool” lol anyway everybody noticing how beautiful Porsche is and also looking through Kinn’s excuse that Tankhun gave him back to him lol
I don’t like that they have Vegas speaking in English in situations like this, feels to intimate that I understand him when we’re literally watching from the POV of drugged up and bound up Porsche.
oof Porsche really is incredibly out of it
lmfao mans really just groped Kinn no hesitation “that’s why he’s still asleep”
ew kissing after Porsche just vomited
Ooh, they translated it to pier. I was slightly confused if it was a pier or a dock or what the difference even was
Were those naked butts? How many men’s butts must I see before this show ends?
ew moaning groaning noises lmfao
omg hand clutching though <3
it’s wild to me that they were just... naked during that? tbh I’d assume they were naked for the wide shots and then had underwear on for the closeups where they were showing torse and up and mimicing movements
Vegas butt also goddamn
Dang, Vegas isn’t disarming and nice-looking anymore, the evilness is now visible. Fun. Makes me wish I didn’t watch the ep 11/12 vegaspete scenes where Vegas is wild and sadistic because the contrast would’ve been more impactful for sure
Anyway, KinnPorsche’s drugged sex wasn’t as uncomfortable as I feared it would be because Porsche was so like playful and eager about it. I know how to enjoy a dubcon drugged sex scene. I did however grimace at the fact that man got sexually assaulted like 10 minutes ago and had no time to process that before jumping into this.
I really am ace, I realized watching the last 10 minutes. Objectively, I think the actors did well and I think Apo is so attractive and they played well off of each other but seeing their bare bodies/butts did nothing for me and hearing the groans was kinda gross to me sorry. It’s the hand clutching against the window that freaking got to me though. Also the fact that Kinn loves kissing Porsche when he doesn’t kiss the guy(s) he had sex with as mentioned in this episode
Read this comment and its followups on the r/boyslove ep 4 on-air thread then rewatch the last few minutes, see if I feel different.
Excited to see terrible evil Vegas now that he’s not :) fairly disarming and just slightly antagonistic. I’m surprised by how magnetic and charming I found the guy considering his looks weren’t doing much for me before but after seeing a few clips of Bible + this episode, I think his charm lies in seeing him in motion something about him is just attractive.
Also, surprise character/person that I'm way more into than I thought I'd be: Pete/Build. So attractive (of all the characters in the show, he's most my type) and we're getting to see tiny bits of his duality of cute and good vs cold and ruthless, can't wait to see more of it
Episode 5 (June 29)
Okay keeping that comment thread + acting points in mind, lemme rewatch the last scene of episode 4 -> I skipped after they started taking pants off (except the parts where they held hands) but I think I liked it better this time around. I'm curious to see the aftermath
Porsche saying "What happened to me?" actually made me freeze. That's so fucked
Bruh is the butt counter actually 5 already? I don't need to see glimpses of Porsche's real ass when I wanna cry for him right now
Kim acts so suspiciously lol just staying for 2 minutes, asking about Porsche for all of it, then skedaddling. I'm just glad I don't know what his deal is beyond wanting to know more about Porsche + using Chay to do so, I wanna find out as I watch rather than be spoiled
Bruh it's not Porsche's fault that he drank the water after specifically smiling at Kinn to check it's okay and Kinn smiled back, making Porsche think it's alright.
rip not Korn taking out a pawn so that he can go checkmate and saying "see the bigger picture. don't focus on one piece and cost us the whole board like what happened before" oof hurts for Porsche and also what happened before, they keep alluding to it I wonder if it has to do with Kinn becoming unkind + the minor family's head being like do you give everyone many chances? @ Korn + maybe the secret Korn said that guy was selling when collecting his debt
I like how Kinn is with his dad. Still learning, still being scolded
Tankhun and Kim are so cute. T: "Are you here to visit or to spy on something?" K: "And?" T: "And did you find anything?" K: ... T: "Once a nosy person, always a nosy person. Nosy x5"
Why don't they translate the curse words properly? They kept using fudge instead of fuck and stuff and now Perth in English says "are you fucking dumb, bro?" but they just don't transcribe the fucking part like we already saw them fucking bro what's the word gonna do
I'm about to beat Kinn, Big and Ken on Porsche's behalf. Big and Ken die later on right? Deserved.
No like my guy got drugged (despite thinking he had permission to drink the water), almost got raped, had sex with a guy for the first time who is also his boss and is a mafia leader and keeps saying he owns Porsche, then got punished by ordered of said guy while 2 of his goons humiliate him
Pete and Porsche for real my favourite duo, I'll miss this when Pete's held hostage by Vegas lol
fuckkk Kinn's boytoy is here just as Porsche is leaving (after Kinn having given him no more than a glance and dismissed him as if he doesn't gaf where Porsche goes or what he does) T.T
Once again, attractive ass Pete at the club
Not Kinn and Porsche in the process of hooking up with different people but flashing back to when they hooked up last night
Bruh Vegas is here again? Also, how have they not figured out that Vegas was the one who went in and out of that room Porsche was in? They should at least mention wiped cameras or something
Didn't they drink? Why's Pete driving em home?
Fuck, the way Vegas is just... posturing in front of Porsche, all chill and even using English, just all confidence that he won't be found out.
We're gonna get jealous Kinn because Porsche is gonna be hanging out with his assaulter without knowing. Why am I smiling while watching Porsche be so happy after a while and Vegas is back to being so disarming and charming and seemingly unassuming. What a terribly cute scene as they're both smiling on the motorcycle with the calming background music and Vegas hugging Porsche.
Bro fuck Vegas is so good at sweet talking Porsche. After the day Porsche had, Vegas is being sooo sweet to him like bruh I would've 100% fallen if I was into falling for men/people. It's so sickening fr
Fuck bro what an argument: Me dying over Porsche trusting Vegas and saying the minor family has done him no harm. Kinn's "Don't you forget. Your life is mine. I can do what I want." Porsche daring him to do it (what? kill him? kiss him I'm guessing? idk). Kinn leaning in so close as if they'll kiss only to say he's replacing Porsche as his head bodyguard with Ken
Naurr Kim and Chay are cute, too bad Kim's a dickhead
Bruh Kim's so bad at this. "Let's do a song on your brother." "how you know I have a brother?"
Chay's so cute T.T I'm sad Kim's doing this to him
Bro finally some Porsche and Chay scenes but it's literally 3 2-second scenes with music overlap, so it's not any meaningful interaction the random shower product placement took up more time bruh
Pete is seriously best boy best character, my guy is standing in a tanktop and boxers, chalk all over his body, holding a towel in front of his crotch as he makes a request to Kinn to have a patient and calm conversation with Porsche
loll tension filled dinner that's still funny because of the role reversal kind of. Still annoyed we got more of his random friends than Porsche and Chay though >:( what about my brothersssssss
lol truly dumbassery to just go off alone like that, Kinn's so smart
woooo that was cool. van chase and murders and next episode is the one in the woods I guess
This was definitely my favourite episode thus far. It's the first one where I felt some strong emotions, mostly anger on Porsche's behalf. Confusing ass times whenever Vegas appears, mans is too good at acting all nice and unassuming and kind. I liked the tension and angst and regret. It had less over-the-top comedy (like the dinner scene was comedic but it wasn't overpowering other scenes and there weren't too many of these comedic moments). Pete continues to be a favourite. Apo's acting as Porsche was really good.
Next episode is the one in the woods, which I'm looking forward to. They're literally handcuffed together, so they'll have to talk it out certainly.
Episode 6 (June 29)
okay after episode 5 actually making me invested in the show and characters, I hope I really like this episode too. Especially because it reminds me of History 3 Trapped's little forest frolic lol
lmfao this rock paper scissors. reminds me of NCT Dream
bruh they're so ridiculous but I'm still smiling wide
ahh their laughing faces and clutched hands as they sit in the water
Porsche using pom/khun and -krab when teasing Kinn is cute
Vegas fucking kills me first of all why does he have to say "The thing is, do you think they know that we know?" to Macau in English in his smooth, smooth voice and then startling Pete and giving him food like "I see you've been on a lookout for a while." Anyway, I've seen like 1-2 second clips of Pete startling when Vegas appears, I didn't expect it to be so soon
Bruh Vegas played the slightly evil character so well here lol the way he's so slick and gives off dark vibes. villainous but not as villainous as he actually is
Bro when will Porsche and Kinn get over the joking dynamics and actually talk about what happened before the kidnapping? ...will they talk about it? like the excitement is freaking cute but pls... soon
how'd they get their shirts off with the handcuffs on? Edit: Okay I saw proof posted on the r/boyslove on-air for this that you can take your shirt off through the hole in the handcuff
rip Porsche, they kiss and Kinn pulls away
lmao rip Porsche, Kinn joking and saying Porsche has a small dick
okay I guess they likely won't talk about it but I guess I'll take this bonding. Also, interesting that Kinn wanted to be a singer. I wonder how he feels about Kim pursuing it
Dang rip Porsche and his sad ass childhood
I guess the "I would erase everything I did you wrong." will have to do as a heartfelt apology. What matters now is whether he changes in the future, especially when it's not just the 2 of them around
The scenery is so freaking beautiful + all the birds chirping
Ooh, Kinn talking about how he feels free in the woods like this
Okay, we're getting more apologies, especially about that night end of ep 4
Porsche is just so guy, I wanna be him, just such a dude
"Then, from now on, we won't have any doubts between us anymore" says Kinn while they're both pretending to move on from that night while they're both falling for the other more and more
Kinnporsche slap count number 2 !! This time Porsche -> Kinn because Kinn knew how to unlock the stupid handcuffs all along
Kinn really just did nawt wanna leave the woods cuz mans had a fairly okay idea how to survive. just pretending
aw shit, I saw a clip of this on Tiktok where Kinn's telling Porsche to leave. That's actually some of the action beyond words I was wanting
Wait so true like Porsche really was just willing to sacrifice a hand for Kinn, mans lost that rock paper scissors thing on purpose. The tension wasn't super high for me cuz I was like duh that's not gonna happen but Porsche didn't know that... he was freaking willing to cut off his hand wtf
Fuckkk Kinn's "maybe I just like it when you're happy."
This desperate, last-kiss vibes is so arrow to the heart man and followed by such a tight hug T.T
Bruh I was not expecting this turn like I knew Porsche was gonna come back but I was thinking maybe early episode 7 not that he'd have to defend Kinn against shooters and that Kinn would fucking take a bullet for Porsche oh my gosh and Porsche knows his chance to leave is no longer there
Bruh how do I feel about this episode? Like nothing happened in the first half except cute moments and then just emotions and feelings and getting shot. I think I'm just not a "deviating from our natural habitat for a frolic in the woods/beaches" episode kinda guy. Like in Bad Buddy, I disliked episode 9 but after that, I thought episode 6 and 11 were just kinda boring/draggy. So I really liked the last third of this episode where Kinn's apologizing and they're discussing feelings and Porsche's willingness to lose a hand for Kinn and then them thinking they're forever separated and then Porsche saving Kinn and Kinn saving Porsche. That stuff was great but I think the first 2/3 could've been cut down in half because I liked their joy and them getting to know each other but I was also like okay let's get a move along.
Random Vegas and Pete scene but I enjoyed it because Pete was so cute (the screams lmfao) and Vegas seemed like he was purposefully giving off the slightly villainous vibes when talking to Pete lol it was fun. It's interesting because Vegas seemed so normal when he was talking to the guy before like "Do you think they know we know that they're there?" but once he's talking to Pete he's like >:). Call me charmed rip
Anyway, I wonder how Kinn and Porsche's relationship will now progress.
Also, I love how there were just so many instances of casual touch in this episode, especially from Porsche's end. He kept patting water onto Kinn's back and neck, falling over him, leaning on him, etc and just T.T casual physical intimacy without kissing/sex is soooo everything to me
Side Story (June 29)
ooh, a short little side story
bruh I hate the "playing that something terrible terrible happened to the patient" joke every time but at least they don't last too long
I remember hearing about how Kinn woke up when he heard [someone else] flirt with Porsche and that name didn't register in my brain then but loll it's Vegas
Dang mans really came in like well these yellow flowers mean friendship and care but alsoooooo they can mean love <3 (with no expectation of return) lol Vegas said no rest for me and no rest for you @ Kinn, who wakes up due to this
Aw, Kinn and Porsche just lying/sitting in bed side by side
A tiny Porsche and Chay convo, cute. It feels monumental and Kinn asked Porsche if he wants to call Chay when this wouldn't have happened before they got lost in the woods/discussed their feelings
Cuddlinggggg
okay a cute little side story as they said.
Do I want to watch episode 7 tonight or... hm. I'll do homework for a bit and then do it I guess
Episode 7 (June 29 30)
I had to debate with myself for like 15 minutes whether I want to watch this now or tomorrow and I still don't know the answer. It's a whole hour long and I think it ends on an angsty note (I dragged the cursor to see like 2 frames and it's the one where Kinn's like 'you're so loose' or something to Porsche and also they slap each other.) I'm so excited to see Kinn's little face slapping @ Porsche but also... nervous because seems like this one will end on an angsty note. I... will do my homework for 15 minutes and then come back to decide whether to watch it or to just read some fics and go to sleep instead
lol okay I didn't end up watching it last night, just read some fics (T this time lol I've been just reading E ones since before even watching the show) and did some homework and went to sleep. I think I'm apprehensive because I think people started losing interest/getting annoyed in these next few episodes and also people hated Kinn in like ep 9 or 10, so I'm dreading that too. I hope I still like them and hopefully, I'll get to have fun at the VegasPete torture scenes >:)
"A win for the minor family" well hello Vegas.
lmfao not Vegas giving us a little preview of his torture? He's so scary and gross. Did he pull out a nail or what?
bruh Vegas for real not letting Porsche go.
Damn, very interesting like major and minor families have competition, which makes them stronger. Vegas wanting Porsche as his assistant means that Kinn now wants them to succeed so that Porsche can come back.
Vegas is so good at being evil and part of that means he's so good at being good to people too. Scary
oof that old man's just told people that Vegas and friends went inside
I think the dichotomy of how ~ polished and professional ~ the major family is contrasts well with how casual the minor family seems. They've got these men in casual wear just guarding doors with big ass guns lol
We've only seen Vegas and Macau for like 1 or 2 seconds here and there but I do like it as a sibling dynamics lover. They seem close
Porsche seeing first hand how differently (kindly) the minor family treats their guards. Vegas really is a good sweet talker with the "They give their lives for me, this seems too little" like yeah true but do I believe you do it out of the goodness of your heart? Actually, perhaps because I know he cries over the hedgehog in episode 12 or something
seeing Porsche drink something from Vegas's house after he'd drugged him in ep 4 is T.T
kasdjflask;dfj dead at Chay hurriedly cleaning his place and trying to get Kim to not come, he's so cuteeeeee. Also how the hell does Kim know where Chay lives (okay I know how he knows but why does he keep letting Chay know that he knows it all)
ooh, a mention of Tawan
Other fathers love dad jokes, Korn loves metaphors about Kinn's love life using chess or knives. rip him warning against loving Porsche and also telling Kinn to become his old self again.
Damn Macau's so chill with Porsche now lol woah even apologizing. I wonder... if Vegas told him to do that?
oh lol Vegas tells him that he told Macau to apologize
Chay is sooo awkward and endearing >.<
lol poor Chay going out of his way to lock the door but Kim just picking it wondering what he's hiding and it just turns out to be Chay's bedroom filled with Kim/WIK's photos rip
Bruh this random university, tutoring, guitar/singing, somewhat celeb/fan storyline is so aklsdfj Kim keeps pushing Chay like "you ever been in love?" "Do you like anyone right now?" whole time knowing Chay likes him because he snooped in his room
naur Chay describing the person he likes and it's so obviously Kim bye
oof jealous Kinn
aslkdfj ummm Vegas twisting the story I'm assuming of Kinn shooting Tawan for seemingly no reason? But Vegas' nice demeanor with his bodyguards and Porsche vs Kinn's coldness and paranoia certainly makes it believable.
Vegas' smirk as he's walking away l m f a o
Beautiful, beautiful Tay
Bruh Vegas is so good at torture for real, kept mans in a cell with a dead body
lol a little taste of Pete kinda spying (not quite yet) and being caught by Vegas
Freaking like it when love is shown through giving your lucky gun to your partner so that he can accomplish his mission well and return the gun (and himself) to you
lmfaooo I remember the "other gun" being a thing and people dying over it before lolll alright Kinn
bruh Vegas really is hot agh. The way he coolly smirks and puts his hands up? agh
Of course the unimportant people not in the truck die but the ones in the truck don't even though the possibility of hitting them should be pretty even
I'm not really a VegasPorsche shipper because of the ep 4 thing but them shooting people side by side and Vegas on top Porsche as they shoot at different directions is certainly appealing, even if also a bit funny bc what
tbh I don't really get why they had to do all that? Did Don send people to destroy one of Kinn/major family's casinos with that grenade thing so they're paying it back by killing Don?
Vegas talks so much about Trust(tm) when he in fact is a snake and a betrayer. Gets to Porsche though. Vegas has found out what pushes his buttons and is exploiting it. I wonder how much it's affecting Porsche though? Likely not enough to leave Kinn for this promise but maybe enough to bring it up to Kinn again and see if that kinda thing will work with their system?
Naurrr Pete giving Kinn updates on Vegas and Porsche interactions T.T rip Porsche. Also hm does this mean Pete fully knows about what Kinn and Porsche have going on? Or is he just ~spying on Vegas~
I wonder what Porsche thinks of Vegas knowing that he wants to open a bar. To Porsche, Vegas has been nothing but kind but he's also seen how cruel Vegas can be and how he's admitted to finding out more about him. Hmm
"I thought you were a heavy drinker" yeah why does Porsche get drunk so easily (like in ep 2) and also... did Vegas do something to his drinks this time again?
rip Vegas taking Porsche to a bathroom and taking off the shirt he purposefully spilled alcohol on :( rip Porsche gonna have to bear the brunt of Kinn being upset
Kinn and Porsche pointing guns at each other is cool even though the reason is more romance related and less mafia betrayal related than I'd like
I hate how Porsche keeps being assaulted by Vegas and then has to deal with Kinn like my guy just went through something ! >:( Be nice or I'll kill you!
Porsche was so happy to see Kinn in the beginning
face slapping count number 3 Kinn lightly slapping Porsche's face as he angrily asks "What the hell were you doing?", my favourite one !! I saw a clip of this on tiktok after I guess this episode was released and rewatched it so many times my gosh. It's supposed to be sad and heartbreaking but uhhh I like it for other reasons mostly, sorry Porsche.
Damn the "You never trust me. Just shoot me already like you shot your ex." is so fucked up
slap count #4 Porsche slapping Kinn and going "I shouldn't have slapped a crappy guy like you" this one is sad, yeah. also porsche admitting to loving kinn omg
fuck the way Kinn traps Porsche against the mirror.... fuck fuck fuck it's really uh a lot for me personally. Porsche becoming tiny, the way he moves away from Kinn but doesn't actually because he could certainly escape but he just... becomes small. The turmoil. Kinn saying sorry and freaking seems like on the verge of tears.
Porsche finally turning around them looking into each other's eyes. The bad decision hooking up and handjob !!! O.O Also Kinn mostly clothed, Porsche mostly unclothed (no underwear?!). So true.
Ending with a tight hug.
That ending scene after Kinn finds Porsche and Vegas is sooo good, one of my favourites of the series so far for sure. The dynamics and angst and also I liked it more than the episode 4 sex scene. I think this my also be my favourite episode tied with ep 5 (the action, all the Vegas, the last scene).
Interesting episode since Kinn and Porsche were apart and we got some action. Liked seeing the major vs minor family's ways of doing things.
Vegas was very attractive in this once except for that very very last part because I need him to stop assaulting Porsche. Other than that, very evil and manipulate and cool and fun and nice to look at.
Episode 8 (July 1)
lol I saw a post saying no vegas in this episode and I was like awwww :( why not? so that's where I stand in regards to him sigh
Anyway, it's interesting how the episodes kinda wrap themselves up so often that I'm not dying to watch the next episode. I have yet to watch more than 2 episodes in a day and I don't even really have to stop myself from continuing, it's quite easy to just leave it. I do listen to podcasts about the episodes I've watched and I go through tags so it's not that I don't care about the show at all but it's not like Not Me where I was desperate to watch the next episode and was on the edge of my seat and it's also not like Bad Buddy where I watched 1 episode a night (purposefully) and thought about it all day and was watching reaction videos etc
Rewatched the last scene of ep 7 from Kinn coming into the bathroom until Porsche's pants start coming off and yeah, what a good scene
lol so i guess Pete doesn't know that Kinn and Porsche are together
porsche crawling on the floor... haha. haha. anyway, this is the bread scene people were talking about
also the foot on dick scene
how much of this episode is just fucking bro? I guess it's just to show that they can't keep their hands off of each other
not Ken listening in?! Big too lol at least they left soon
What's the bar owner's name actually because in the subs it's Yok but from what I hear, people refer to her as something like Jay?
oh dang, Porsche can tell Yok and friends that he and Kinn are dating?
I guess this episode is really gonna be focusing on Kinn and Porsche's romantic relationship
Aww Porsche insecure being in his first proper relationship + it's also with a guy. him letting go of Kinn's hand :< but Kinn holding his hand again anyway
lol fuck this is my friends and I, halfway through eating realizing we forgot to take aesthetic pics
The aegyofication of mafia boss Kinn who has no worries of getting kidnapped or shot at
The thing is... they're cute but I don't feel giddy or excited watching lol. I just don't think I'm that invested in Kinn and Porsche's cutesy love life.
lol no way Porsche is the son of Kim's dad's mistress. We are not getting half-brothers please. I think in the book they uhh may be cousins ? or smth ? el oh el. Also, why's Kim telling Big so much considering he's so aloof other times
Bro Porsche sniff kissing Kinn's shoulder is soo cute actually. I think I'm gonna like this part of their date more since it's not so silly over the top but rather just them being calmly cute and also getting to know more of their emotions
Aren't there cameras everywhere at the compound thing? That's how they saw Porsche peeing in the pool? Bruh, I gotta stop thinking about these things because it makes it less fun
pool kiss
Porsche keeps saying "So promiscuous. So slutty." @ Kinn's boytoys Hmmm
this episode is so lowstakes that going through Kinn's phone is the most dangerous thing they've done so far lol
lmfao Porsche making merit because he thinks Tawan's ghost is following him
girl where the hell did Chay go to find Kim? Is this in front of Kim's apartment? That's very weird. Just showing up when Kim's been ignoring him um. But maybe deserved because that's what Kim did to Chay?
I went outside for the day, so I'm watching the last 10 minutes at 1am and T.T why are they watching a horror movie
porsche being scared of ghosties is so cute. like in ep 6 when they see the skeleton, then in the side story when kinn says the hospital is haunted to get porsche to stay with him and now this
lmfao Porsche being so scared he tries to entice Kinn with sex so that he's not alone tonight
Girl I really thought Tawan would be found out before the very last second of the episode?
This is such a useless episode if I think of it as a mafia show but less useless if I think of it as a romance I guess. It showed us the physical aspects of KinnPorsche's relationship + the romantic and sweet aspects. I wish it cut down the time so that everything in this episode happened in 40 minutes and the other 10 minutes was either like some Tawan stuff so that it's not just last second or Vegas being just fucked up or hot.
Regardless, I thought it was a pretty meh and boring episode (I wish I liked the Kinn/Porsche couple more, I would've enjoyed it more then), especially since it followed up episode 7 which had quite a bit of ~ things happening ~.
Episode 9 (July 2)
episode 13 came out and this time I'm forcing myself to not go on tiktok or click on the kinnporsche blocked posts on tumblr. I know too much from episodes 11-12 (esp about vegaspete), so I need to keep up the unknowingness for ep 13 at least. I'll probably get there in 3-4 days anyway.
Also, I think people were really upset at Kinn in ep 9 or 10, so we'll see how it goes. I think he let Porsche be captured or take the brunt for something (he lets Porsche be punished as the mole or something), so I guess we'll see some action and betrayal and fun things with higher stakes than ep 8.
The thumbnail in kissasian for this ep is Pete with Vegas and Macau 0.0
Poison in the water bottles given to Tawan?
Tankhun being like kill him! in his fancy outfit and holding the wine glass
Porsche says kinn when referring to him during talking w tawan doesn't he hafta use khun? Is it not needed if you're referring to someone else? Also, I wonder if Tankhun picked up on Kinn/Porsche
How is Arm the only one who can kinda see Kinn/Porsche have a thing going on?
Kinn has tasked Pete with keeping an eye on Vegas :)
naurr Kinn and Tawan too casual and Tawan talking about the past right in front of Porsche. Why is Kinn so comfortable with him now, fucker's smiling?! Letting Tawan grab his hand?! Do I think Kinn is smart enough to let Tawan think he's vibing with him when in fact it's all fake smiles?
Is one humourous moment (Kinn not realizing Porsche wants him to leave the room and not stick with Tawan) worth making Kinn appear stupid, like he doesn't understand what Porsche is saying?
Tankhun straight-up telling Kinn and he's not clever and that he's boutta be hurt again because of Tawan
this random dancing in underwear
lol Yok's advice. The "I'm strong but I can pretend to be weak~"
this seduction plan is so embarrassing, I can't watch this. It's like I'm freaking watching Secret Crush On You
aak, Pete came in
right, so Tawan definitely suspects something between KinnPorsche right?
I wish we'd gotten to see Pete be cold, calculated, and competent except that one time he had to beat up the lender and say how he didn't believe in heroes and villains to Porsche afterward. Like being told by Kinn to not let anybody know they're following only to be immediately caught by Macau is so. Esp cuz he was a drunk fool in the previous scene and also he hadn't figured out Kinn and Porsche are together
lmfao Macau talking to Pete and Vegas just standing and staring straight at him? so awkward
I remember reading an r/boyslove post talking about this temple scene, I'll read it again after the episode.
Oh they're making merit together "so that see each other again in the next life"... Vegas hand on Pete's back... okay. Vegas is so good at making something so uneasy despite using kind/nice words and gestures
Vegas soooo good at being pathetic puppy T.T "I'm sorry Porsche for that night" + "ppl in this family look at me weirdly :(" + "Pete was sent to follow me" :((( Is there a weird rumour going around about me? I guess I'm used to it since they've always been like this
Holy shit Vegas is sooo good at this. "Porsche, if one day Kinn orders you to kill me, can you not make me suffer?" Bruh, tugging at heartstrings and everything.
whelp, Kinn saw, as expected. Mole suspect
Bruh you don't even know what's in the USB yet
Tawan's "I told you Porsche couldn't be trusted" O.O I swear the only smart people in this show are Tawan and Vegas. They're so good at being lil bitches. Tawan also knew about the listening devices and didn't reveal it until now when it's most impactful, he's good at this
Ah here is why everybody was upset with Kinn. "Lock him up"
Porsche calling him Ai'Kinn
Chay is sooo freaking awkward and it's so endearing. My guy does nawt know what to do with his hands
I don't think their mutual feelings have really any weight (like... I don't see much romantic chemistry between them at all) but like sure. cute enough. I thought they'd be cuter based on like random tiktok edits I saw tbh
Bruh Tawan coming here to rub it in Porsche's face is so good! He's so irritating fr
Also I wanna know what's actually in the USB that Tawan gave. What evidence is in there and how will they deal with that
Girl, not Vegas coming in hot with the "run away with me, Porsche" askldfj
Okay, I liked this episode. Firstly, so many more things happened than episode 8, which is good because last ep was fairly boring. We get Tawan and also see he's a cunning dickhead. Some Vegas shenanigans with both Porsche and Pete. I like all the searching for betrayals and suspecting people vibes. KimChay were okay.
Gonna read some anger and vitrol @ Kinn from when the episode was first released lol + that post about vegas/pete temple scene
I wouldn't say this is my new favourite ep but like definitely tier 2.
Also I'm gonna need to start a vegaspete tag because I'm gonna reblog each of their scenes in gif form :)
Episode 10 (July 2)
Okay I'm excited for this one, to see how they come out of this mess + maybe some VegasPete. So I'll watch it tonight instead of tomorrow morning.
yakuzaoh yeah I forgot there's some Porsche and Vegas first. Vegas give it upppp my dude
girl no, who's stopping themmmm agh I changed my mind I don't wanna watch this anymore.
wowww Pete cool
guns pointed at each other -> Kinn: Porsche -> Porsche lowers gun: You have to trust me -> Kinn lowers gun and lets Porsche go
girl, love?! Didn't you confess to Kim like a day ago, Chay? only to be faced with triple homocide where Kim doesn't say it back + Kim's boutta ditch him w a sticky note + he doesn't even get to read the sticky note because he's boutta be kidnapped
Chay did well in running away for a bit though + at least Kim showed up
The way Pete is freaking ready to lay his damn life down for Porsche. Love the duo
Dang, this Porsche and Vegas pact
You did it Pete, got into the house! Love to see some competency that's not broken by jokes
lol Tawan's USB is a virus that shuts down their CCTVs (all their gadgets are so funny, like alright sure this is possible) and mans has escaped. cool, good for him for tricking all these ppl lol
no way, Vegas and Tawan actually ?! T.T I was like oh, Vegas what are you planning? Then seeing Vegas' plan is like well, you met all our expectations I guess - you did what everybody thought you were doing.
rip Porsche for real my mans is so trusting and forgiving and people keep abusing that T.T I need Kinn to have a bigger plan where he didn't actually believe Porsche betrayed him while treating Tawan well because otherwise I'll kill Kinn fr
Just kidding, okay Vegas punched Tawan, congrats for escaping expectations kind of because he's still apparently in kahoots with Ken to get information about the major family but I can't blame him for that one.
Also, I have absolutely 0 reaction to Ken being the mole, it's not like we cared about him at all lol
Vegas says "But this wasn't the fucking plan plan" and IQIYI subs it as "fricking" that's so aghhhh
Okay pretend I didn't scratch out all that stuff I wrote about Vegas and Tawan lol.
Vegas's "you just realized?" with a tilted head and smile when Porsche says you're such a jerk
lol Vegas' evil plan being detailed in front of Porsche for several minutes
Vegas killing Tawan for sport, so true. He was cool, although dumb as hell for believing Vegas would want to romantically involve himself with him but I guess Porsche trusted Vegas for a similar reason too (that Vegas loves him)
Bruh, how the hell does Tawan just have a bulletproof vest lol. And yeah so true, why didn't they give Porsche one?
girl, Tawan was doing so well so far, they're making him seem so pathetic now, calling out for Vegas.
Damn, they showed us some Tawan Vegas in the past, that's a good call. Makes you understand a bit more about why tf this is happening. Also my 2nd favourite villain was being manipulated by my favorite evil guy this whole time <3
Vegas is seriously soooooo master manipulator. He was getting to Porsche by confessing his love, saying he was sorry for what he did at the bathroom, and being pitiful about being seen as lesser than the main family. He was getting to Tawan by confessing his love, giving him a ring, and saying he'll become the strong leader with Tawan's help. Two very different methods and reasonings but he knows what to use to get what he wants from different people + also what he says both times is laced with truth, except the parts about him loving them. Vegas seriously my favourite evil little man.
nooo brotherly conflict T.T
okay so apparently Kinn knew that Porsche wasn't guilty and Tawan was in contact with Vegas and was going down to the cell to tell Porsche that. Firstly, that was still after he threw him in the cell, so there was still definitely a lot of mistrust there - enough for locking him up. Secondly, why didn't Pete just tell Porsche that Vegas and Tawan are working together, huh? Could've done that instead of fighting. Thirdly, why didn't Kinn tell him instead of letting him escape with Vegas?
Okay, let me talk about some things before we move on. I don't care about Big dying because just like Ken, they didn't develop him well enough. However, the characters should definitely care more but I've heard people say that they don't give a fuck, so I'm assuming he'll never be mentioned again rip. Next, damn, Tawan really offed himself - nice going dude with the "If I don't get to be happy, neither will anybody else." Thirdly, where did Chay just go? Are they gonna keep him around in the main family's house now since it's clear people will use him to get to them? Lastly, I was wondering why nobody was concerned about Pete's whereabouts because Kinn and Arm were in contact with him but both were at the warehouse location, so aren't they wondering what's going on with him? Then they showed us Kinn having a confused expression before cutting to Pete all bound up and I remembered that people kept saying "Kinn forgot Pete" and I couldn't figure out what they meant by that like did he get amnesia the fuck? but no, this is worse actually lol my guy went to the house ready to give up his life for Porsche + also previously gave info about Tawan and yet...
Anyway, let's go Vegas actual evil villain now because we know he's not doing some petty little "I'll steal Kinn's boyfriend bodyguard" games anymore, my guy was giving info to the Italians and the yakuza lol + was so deeply manipulating Tawan as to propose marriage to get him to infiltrate. let's see him actually torture Pete now I guess
Oh yeah, it's actually more interesting because Pete has previously seen Vegas torture a man in ep 7
holy shit we got: red lighting, manic Vegas and Pete them bitches were smiling too hard, the sweat all over Pete's body? my guy was going through it, actual torture - which also turned out to be real and actual CBT cock and ball torture. Isn't wild to think about how last episode, they were doing merit together in broad daylight and now Pete was laughing and screaming while get his balls electrocuted in Vegas' dungeon/torture chamber.
ooh, so Vegas is working outside of his father's orders
Ken's name was Kenny? I thought it worked the other way around that Ken's endearing nickname becomes Kenny. Anyway, did Porsche tell Kinn that Vegas had fake evidence? Idk if this evidence here is fake that Vegas' father is giving but it just seems useful info
Intense brother relationship but this time's it's Korn and Vegas' dad. Tense ass scene bro
Why would Porsche apologize to Kinn right now? Bruh idk idc Porsche did little to no wrong (except for being a dumbass who trusted Vegas but like Kinn was being a dumbass who trusted Tawan for a period of time and threw Porsche in a cell. So it makes sense the manipulator managed to make him trust him instead of the guy who lets his ex into the house to fully exploit all the knowledge).
Kinn let Tawan fool him so what's the use of saying Porsche let Vegas fool him
Does a kiss and a hug fix everything?
Okay idk why I'm so annoyed, it's not like I hate Kinn/Porsche but like I feel like their resolution right now was so unearned
Girl more bed scenes? "Are we good now?" Like no the sex doesn't make anything okay, give me some actual relationship development. Give me some angst and fallout after Kinn's distrust in Porsche and having to find their way back to each other and earn trust again.
Bro Chay's threatening to cut Porsche off if he doesn't quit? T.T Followed by fucking Kinn forgetting Pete
I am for real just skipping all scenes of them kissing and cuddling.
Okay I liked almost the entirety of the episode and I think it had to do with how little Kinn and Porsche there was actually lmfao because by the end when they were all gooey (which felt unearned) I was skipping lol I think my other episodes I really liked (5 and 7) had not that much Kinn/Porsche as well hmmm 9 had a decent amount though.
Anyway, episode 10 is probably one of my favourites too. The writing is pretty weak and I for real don't understand why any of this needed to happen (Kinn trusting Tawan, Kinn throwing Porsche in a cell, Kinn or Pete not just telling Porsche that they have evidence that Tawan and Vegas are in cahoots - also if they have evidence, why did they still act so casually with Tawan when they were tryna get info from the USB, I thought the Kinn/Porsche reconciliation didn't have the gravitas necessary, and Pete being just forgotten despite doing everything he did is sooo nonsensical) but this still leads to fun events I guess (the warehouse stuff, Vegas torturing Pete), so I'll just... overlook it.
Finally Vegas/Pete starting! I wonder how I would've reacted if I hadn't freaking seen the whole thing in clips before. It's cuz user @/rythyme mentioned canon CBT and I was like :0 so I looked at some gifsets and also didn't look away when the clips came up on tiktok lol. My greatest wish for the show is that they don't ruin VegasPete with some terrible ass writing, please! Use your brains in order to make a good story and have an interesting relationship development that makes sense!
Vegas continues to be my favourite because he's so smart at being evil. Also excited to see this side of Pete: the one who smiles and laughs in the midst of his tortured screams! I've seen some people say that it's his masochistic tendencies but I don't think he's having fun getting his genitals zapped, I think it's just him not showing weakness and trying to goad Vegas lol.
Episode 11 (July 3/4)
Nearly passed away from having to wait 24+ hours to watch this episode because of ~real life and responsibilities~ agh. can't wait to see how this unfolds
Vegas sexually assaulting Pete + laughing at his tattoo + getting slapped and lectured by his dad for disobeying orders + being told to go into hiding all within 5 minutes
Vegas unstable as hell + Pete unhinged and telling him to kill him but Vegas insisting no because Pete's fun
bruh I was like agh not random Kinn/Porsche, what if I skip only to find out Vegas freaking sent Kinn texts as Pete. Anyway, not only did Kinn forget about Pete (and wouldn't have remembered unless Vegas texted him), Porsche and Kinn are just like yep, okay, this makes sense, no need to call him. Does Porsche even know that Pete was at the minor family's lair?
fuckkk Vegas is too good at being evil T.T he realized the physical torturing is fun but doesn't quite break Pete, so instead he resorts to grandma
Okay, Kinn calls grandma but Vegas already told her to say he's home bruhhhh Kinn ask to speak to Pete duh, you cannot be this dumb
Porsche: "C'mon, don't think too much" bro no, think a little more please
Tankhun dying and squirming at the cuteness of Kinn admitting that he wants to grant Porsche permission to resign because he loves him vs Korn's reaction lol
lol the bodyguards all cutely listening in on the family + Porsche conversation. Interesting that they'll let Porsche and Chay stay in the home (does Chay not protest? also, this doesn't mean they're giving up their other home, does it?)
bro Pete's disobedience and defiance + Vegas torture is actually a Lot woah. I've only seen clips of like ep 10 torture scene + the others I'd seen are mostly when Vegas is taking care of Pete, so I wasn't expecting just how much cruelty there is
lol there was a post from after ep 10 but before ep 11 release that they hope Vegas loves his hedgehog so much and is so cute to it and lol it's true. him talking all cutely to his hedgehog before and after being cruel to Pete
lol Kim's murder board is back
Aww Porsche and Chay! Finally a decent interaction between them since literally 1st episode
Oh shit bruh, Vegas really is doing a number on Pete.
Pete so cool, being so defiant and also managing to escape the handcuffs + room even if he didn't manage to actually escape.
Anyway, they're really pushing the boundaries of "how much torture can we put in this pairing before you get off the VegasPete train and just want Vegas to actually just die"
Porsche blowdrying Kinn's hair is cute. Them + TimTay + Yok are cute too. Tay is so beautiful
We've really just been getting Vegas' dad coming in randomly for 30 seconds at a time and just abusing Vegas briefly before leaving lol they're progressing with the Vegas "sad body, daddy issues" arc
"You and Macau aren't even worthy of being my sons" aklsfj how did his stray bullet hit Macau, mans isn't even here
Sad af Vegas because of father + Pete not responding, okay I see the aspects that I was aware are gonna be starting now
lol Tankhun and Chay hanging out is a sight.
oh Chay's boutta learn bout Kimmmm
not the romantic piano music as Vegas bandages Pete's wounds that he inflicted upon him lol so fucked
not this mouth to mouth pill giving, fuck that actually got to me lol
"Why don't you just let me die?" "That's too easy. You must suffer until I'm satisfied." this is so fucked
a freaking heart-to-heart between evil captor who tortures and the tortured victim about their sucky dads. once again, got to me though
Aw Chay :( I've seen this Kim/Chay clip on tiktok before
Girl ngl it's so hard to care about Kinn and Porsche just having fun when VegasPete and KimChay are Going Through Shit (different degrees but still).
the smile I smiled at Vegas making Pete a steaming bowl of noodles because he wasn't eating + said the food didn't look fresh is embarrassing actually
Vegas eating food that Pete spit out to show it's not poisoned lol "If you hate me, you'll have energy to kill me later"
Vegas smirking at how Pete is eating all satisfied
okayyyy Korn ordered everything about the case of Porsche's parents death to be erased
Okayyyy intense episode. As I said, I knew there was VegasPete torture but I didn't realize there was much outside the CBT in ep 10 because people weren't clipping it (and I get why lol). So I thought ep 11 wouldn't have much torture but would have like the pill sharing, noodles eating etc but there was certainly cruelty. The progression from such cruelty -> Vegas becoming soft (the bandaging, the mouth-to-mouth pill giving, the noodles, the heartfelt conversation) felt a little quick but I'm willing to go with it lol Bible's such a good actor because I also transformed quickly from >:(( -> :) during his transformation and the changes in Vegas/Pete's interactions.
Also, I... don't know whether Vegas is "redeemable" and I don't even know what it means in this case. I don't really need him to be redeemable, I just need him to a compelling character and for Vegas/Pete to convince me that they need/deserve each other in order for me to be fully on board the ship lol
I knew people were like how did they forget Big so easily but like lol they really did. No mention of Big sacrificing himself or Ken being the mole, just Kinn/Porsche being cutesy; comparatively, the half-assed attempt at checking in on Pete was like the greatest show of care lol The Kinn/Porsche scenes are cute but I wish it had at least one scene of them actually working rather than just comedy + romance. Interesting contrast between their scenes vs Vegas/Pete though, it gave me whiplash
Chay cries in a way that makes you feel for him. Like his "love" is a bit silly because it's just kinda infatuation and a crush but his crying was :( From knowing these types of storylines, I'm guess Kim's being cold and an asshole because he wants to protect Chay by pushing him away but Kim's doing well playing this cold character, I'd believe he felt nothing for Chay. Curious to see where Kim's investigation leads.
Another good episode. I'm glad I've liked every episode after 8. Hope that'll continue for the last 3 episodes.
Episode 11 Rewatch (June 4)
Okay I rewatched episode 11 VegasPete parts lol
It's good just like the first watch, I enjoyed seeing how their relationship changed (how cruel and torturous Vegas was -> opening up to each other and taking care of each other - even though Vegas was only taking care of the harm he caused) and it was fast but if I think of it as happening over a longer period of time than it was, it's better lol
I think it's also an interesting dynamic because Vegas' torture and cruelty is faced with Pete's refusal to be broken. He's still defiant and doesn't cower away from Vegas and even asks how he's doing. When he does cower (like the end of the belt scene), Vegas stops because it's no fun anymore - he wants Pete to be defiant; when Pete was unconscious, Vegas was like "laugh at me!" So it all makes it more interesting to see, even if some parts are kinda hard to watch.
Episode 12 (June 4)
Time for some: hedgehog death, rimming?, Chay dyeing his hair and going out to a club because of his broken heart.
I'm glad it's like 58 mins long (with the start/end songs + previews) because I would've become the joker if it was 49 like some of the other ones are. Also, I checked and ep 13 is 1h :)
Sucks that Porsche is so excited for Chay's uni exam while Chay's going through it, unbeknownst to Porsche. Poor Chay, having to bottle it all up.
Bro Chay threw this resume in the trash and left?! Don't throw away your education or dreams because of Kim my guy!
Ahh Porsche saying Ai'Kinn in conversation with Pol and Pol repeating it back and correcting himself oi! Khun Kinn! ahhh sooo good to me. getting to defy normal honorific expectations because you are the boss' boyfriend
rolling my eyes at Porsche apparently having mic-ed Kinn's outfit? And being so jealous like "Oh, are you cheating on me?" before he even finds out anything. They really just make characters worse for comedy which is much worse than making characters evil for fun
lol Porsche able to recognize a guy he met once while his uncle was being beat up by the sound of his voice
lol dang, so Kinn did have a hand in those guys beating up Porsche's uncle leading to Porsche taking the job. Didn't think it'd actually circle around
Bro I've watched this freaking VegasPete scene on tiktok but I'm still smiling. Pete having attitude while speaking to Vegas while Vegas smiles as if he's in on the fun rather than full of cruelty + they've been using gu/meung since capture I think but hearing Pete say Vegas instead of Khun Vegas is 0.0 once again, lowering of honorifics and titles
lol they really fed it to us that the hedgehog is supposed to represent Vegas being prickly on the outside and sensitive on the inside
Kinn/Porsche confrontation and it was a fine scene. I wanna know how this will affect their relationship and trust in the near future though
How much do I trust Korn to be telling the truth? He did make himself look bad by saying he covered up the car crash for his friend and also thinks he went too far trying to help Porsche by basically forcing him to work here. However, he doesn't seem like he'd give away his hand so easily. Aside: even if it's true lol what kinda help is "become a mafia bodyguard where you'll give up your life for my family"
Anyway, we're getting the hedgehog death story now and once again I'm wishing I hadn't watched so much of this on tiktok clips but also the reason I started watching the show this early was because of the tiktok clips so oh well
You kept the hedgehog under terrible conditions dude, no wonder it's sick.
Damn, so it's literally just Vegas and Pete at this safe house?
rip Pete literally unable to run away despite trying lol His heart must be twice as big as the CN tower (did some brief research after saying this, apparently it's the 3rd tallest tower in the world, cool)
Cool shot of Vegas crying sitting on the grass and we can see Pete debate himself in the back. Wish he'd grabbed a knife from the kitchen before coming to Vegas though because Pete's still weak and hurting (or would that have been bad because Vegas would've found a way to use it on him instead)
me and victim both being like :'((((( as the evil man cries over his pet hedgehog
Pete fucking trailing after Vegas and them sitting in the damn dungeon room together again
I think it's reasonable that the hedgehog died since it's probably been like 2 decades lol. Pet hedgehogs don't live forever you know. Probably not your fault
I keep being like I'll watching without coming here to type but like fuck Vegas cries so heart-wrenchingly despite not like sobbing or wailing or anything. "Everything I love has left me. My life is pathetic, isn't it?"
Bro I saw a mention of Vegas hitting himself in this scene but it still fucking startled me, it made such a loud noise when he slapped himself
was the sex scene kinda jarring and came out of nowhere? yes but sometimes it do be like that. do I fully understand their motivations? not quite. did i freaking love it though? yes lol. the music made me freaking uneasy though. i actually have nothing else to say because I was just clutching my head and hair the whole time. Died at Pete giving Vegas the rope to tie his wrists + Vegas kissing his knuckles after doing so. Dead dead dead. Also, Pete's ankles were tied in place with the freaking chains from the ceiling, that's so alksdjfaklsdjfaks;lfak;lfdfj i feel so alksdfklasjflksjf i could chew on glass. Like... the scene wasn't super romantic or lovey dovey, it made me slightly uncomfortable because of the music and how quickly the characters jumped into it, but it had interesting dynamics and more glimpses of the characters and I enjoyed it. I also didn't have any expectations, so I wasn't disappointed
oh lol Porsche and Kinn's angst is done already, it really just lasted one scene. Bro Chay was there for like half a minute before Porsche and Chay's scene ends too and we're left with Kinn/Porsche again
sigh fr. Kinn wants to live at Porsche's house? Isn't he head mafia mans? How the hell is he gonna do his job? Not that he does it much anyway and not that he even needs his bodyguards because when was the last time they were even attacked? Ep 5?
Okay we're getting more Kinn/Porsche and friends I guess. I'll forgive it cuz it seems cute and I like Tay. Anyway, killing Time because he cheats on Tay in the book or something and here Tay seems sad being like "Not really. It's not like that." when Porsche says Time seems t love Tay.
Small mercies: The OK Cupid product placement being now and not during VegasPete's ep 11 noodle scene
wtf does "We're both out of the business" mean???? Kinn is out of the business?? What?! That can't be right, we'd have more of a discussion and uproar if he was, right?! Not a fucking throw-away line?
Well, I think it makes sense that Kinn's dad is here because wtf are they living in some fantasy land
Girl, am I supposed to just trust Korn that this man killed Porsche's parents? I know in the end Porsche doesn't kill him, which is good because what if it's wrong? Where's Kim in all this - did his investigation turn up anything?
Oof, seeing the grandchild really made Porsche stop (as it should)
Kinn/Porsche are often given such shallow material that I can forget how freaking good they are at acting. Apo really made me feel here without even saying a single word. Also, Kinn really was just gonna let Porsche kill an old man lol
Is Kinn asking Porsche to be his bodyguard again? Girl, they keep going around and around in circles, I don't know what's happening
Okay yeah I guess we really just aren't getting any more VegasPete this episode. Sad.
lol ayy Chay with the broken heart leading to hairstyle change and bad decision underage drinking at the club
Chay has always been bold but this time it's with anger at Kim rather than infatuation and a crush. Kim's weird though like he comes outta nowhere, drags Chay away, then leaves at the first sign of Chay being like get out of my business
I'm equally curious about and disgusted by eating bugs/insects
I see the uncle came back
I know it's KinnPorsche, not freaking VegasPete the series but I can't believe I didn't get to see anything from them for the second half. I know nothing about how they go in episode 13 so I'm excited for that, can't believe I knew their whole storyline thus far from ep 10-12 because of tiktok.
I think they could've started all the storyline about Porsche's parents earlier instead of wasting time with "comedy" and given more time to either establishing the mystery well or giving more time to the other couples (by which I mostly mean VegasPete but Chay's cute too).
I seriously don't understand what Kinn's position is right now. Why's he just fucking around, isn't he the main family heir?
To be honest, the plot is flimsy, the writing is not good and VegasPete are kinda rushed, I don't wanna go through everything wrong with the episode because I don't really care beyond VegasPete were cute/intriguing and I liked Chay and like 1 KinnPorsche interaction was cute. Everything else I had some sort of problem with lol
Interesting how I've seen everybody say the sex was fully consensual, fully wanted and... I guess? Pete did initiate the kiss + go forward with it and he wasn't shackled at the time but also... must we use the word consensual for it? It's not full cut-and-dry noncon maybe but there's something definitely fucked up and wrong about it and it doesn't feel consensual. Consensual isn't so surface level.
Episode 13 (June 4)
Last released episode, let's go! Also finally back to unknown territory because I managed to not spoil myself (except that Tankhun knows Pete is missing + maybe holds a funeral thinking he's dead?, Vegas' father strikes him again, the single line "I get it. Porsche had no choice but to team up with Vegas" or something to that extent which... ??, also pool scene).
Okay this makes it seem like I know everything but lol I don't think I do? Or at least I haven't actually seen any clips for these except a gifset of Tankhun crying/holding a funeral because he thinks Pete's dead. I knew and had watched way more for eps 1, 2, 11, 12
Pete's back in handcuffs? Or I guess he has just one handcuff on one wrist and maybe it was just for sexy times and not for uh captive times. also lol "Do you know how sexy you are?" in English. It's a great compliment to Bible's voice that that didn't make me cringe
I want to know what goes on in Pete's head during that scene because Vegas is joking and seems to like Pete (or is he master manipulatoring again? because of the story arc, I'd guess not) but Pete's isn't really smiling or encouraging - he seems kinda apprehensive
Clueless happy Kinn while Porsche is dealing with the knowledge that his family knew Korn
Aw, Vegas looking so well-adjusted and cute following a Youtube tutorial for cooking
Vegas' voice is always so whiny and petulant without fail every time he talks to his father
Oh yeah I forgot to mention this above but I read something about Vegas being hit by his dad and taking it out on Pete by choking him?
Holy shit, his dad's slap left a red red mark on Vegas' face
"You should have a little rest. Why don't you two go traveling?" lmfao hasn't Kinn been resting all this time, what work has he done since getting Porsche and Chay out of that place? I guess he's been attending meetings but he's literally just been spending his days with Porsche and sometimes at Porsche's house too
Dang, Pete really is just back to being contained in the dark room rip I wonder how he feels about not leaving when he had the chance back then. How did Vegas even manage to capture him again? Wouldnt that have changed their dynamic again after the sex? Would've liked to see it last episode
Aw fuck, Pete all teary-eyed and saying "I don't like it" while clutching his chest and then slapping himself saying "Then why didn't I say no"
fuuuuuck okay I think that was more fucked up than the previous torture because they literally had emotional bonding + sex, yet we're back to Vegas choking the shit out of Pete and Pete telling him to just kill him and Vegas actually pulling out a knife this time
Kinn who didn't mention Big's sacrifice + didn't gaf that Ken was the mole + didn't properly check to make sure Pete was safe after what was possibly a death sentence type mission vs Tankhun being shaken by a dream that Pete's died + calling his grandma to check + crying while calling Kinn and Porsche stupid and threatening them
fuck Pete's actually fucking broken and empty now fucking fuck
Also, the red + blue lighting on their face has been different than their previous lighting schemes thus far right?
Okay yeah interesting (perhaps excellent) choice to actually make them continue to be fucked up and not just be fixed and romantic after one emotional talk + one hedgehog mourning + one-time having sex
They're trying to make Tankhun trying to lead Pete's ghost home a funny thing but it's fucking heartwrenching after seeing Pete screaming for help in a white shirt stained with his blood
I needed Pete's return to be less comedic but I guess we're gonna get the trauma/heartfelt stuff in the bathtub now
Pete smiling and trying to seem nonchalant instead of telling who did this to him is actually breaking me
Is this Chay's room in their original house? So we're back to Square A of Chay living their by himself?
Why did Kim leave after Chay sang that song, what a dick
Vegas sitting and crying in his pajamas with all the food he's made in front of him with no Pete to share them with (a direct contrast to how happily he had made all the food to feed Pete at the start of the episode and then angrily destroyed it) is uhhhh making me die actually
fuck and that's a direct contrast to Pete eating the noodles alone and mimicking his hand being bound and also being choked kinda. this is so fucked uppppp
"Just believe what he said" bro what the fuck? Pete is literally bruised and scarred and uhhhh mentally broken too though they may not have noticed that yet. Even if you don't prod and give him privacy, you should be like somebody's tortured him and he won't tell us who. Like Porsche probably doesn't believe him but why is he telling Kinn to be chill about it
Ohh, I see why that person is talking about Porsche and Vegas teaming up. Anyway, Vegas certainly deserves more than 1 punch for Tawan and Pete each but it's a start
Okay well I guess the "you can't be bought by the main family" is true for Vegas only lol Also hmm Vegas saw a photo of Porsche's mom in his dad's office and somewhere else he can't remember. I know in the novels Kinn and Porsche are cousins or something?!
Anyway, Porsche really brought Pete to the bar at Vegas' request like truly what. Tankhun is fr the only one who cares about Pete beyond a surface level. Like okay Porsche is threatening Vegas but ?? literally what, how are you trusting fucking Vegas bro? Porsche really was like "My friend is gonna just have to deal with being faced with his kidnapper and torturer right now like 2 minutes after escaping him and having had no time or help processing what he went through :)"
killing me with the ToddBlack Not Me parallels by the way
That fact that the only comfort he's gotten (that one group comedic hug after arriving + Porsche taking care of his wounds don't count) is in the hands of Vegas, this is so fucked up
fucking fucked up scene bro
Kinn visiting Porsche's parents' grave and being introduced to them is really freaking cute and sweet actually. Porsche was so endearing here I almost forgot I wanted to kill him for practically delivering Pete to Vegas
Pool scene but I'm ace and don't really care much about KinnPorsche the couple anymore, so I skipped starting when Porsche ended up with his back to the glass wall
Dang, Porsche and Chay packed and left
Tankhun once again coming through with actually caring
We back to Porsche on the back of Vegas' motorcycle lol
Damn lol rip uncle just as you were about to say a name. We know Korn was there but who else... Vegas' dad? Like that man is the only other person relevant to this story from that time, not including Porsche's uncle who is also now dead. Although we've got that random guy Porsche almost killed last episode lol Is that the same police guy Kim went to ask questions to? If not, then I guess he's an option too.
But did Porsche have to leave with Vegas though? Not like Kinn was gonna shoot him el oh el and they could've been like I wanted information from my uncle
Oh damn the bodyguard beside Kinn is Pete. Is he back to absolute full health after multiple days of torture? Also, Kinn and Pete chasing after Vegas and Porsche
Why the hell did Kinn shoot at the uncle though? Makes no damn sense, why would he shoot at who Porsche is with? Unless it's not him and somebody else shot at him? I guess that's why Porsche and Vegas left actually like damn why Kinn kill my uncle?
Porsche calling Korn meung
Porsche's mom is Korn's nong, so Porsche and Kinn really are cousins lmfao like literally the most cousin you can be with someone, none of that second/third cousin or twice/thrice-removed
Wow, I'm actually watching the preview because I'll actually have to wait for the next episode. At least it says it's the Longest Episode, so I hope it's like 1.5-2 hours so that they actually properly wrap things up nicely (and no cliffhangers because I don't have faith in a second season). Seems like the minor family's gonna attack the major family. I also don't trust them to properly wrap up VegasPete so I'll just enjoy the fact that I'm liking them now and hope that doesn't change next episode.
Bro, I find gifs to reblog but then it's like I actually cannot say what I want to say in the tags because it's just gonna be me slandering the characters and writers whenever it's not a vegaspete scene. like the gifsets of porsche punching vegas are all 'go porsche!' but it's like umm does 1 punch do anything when you actually brought that friend who is traumatized and broken to his captor and abuser?
Porsche and Kinn's apathy towards Pete makes me angrier toward them than Vegas' treatment of Pete makes me (that one makes me more scared and nervous than angry). Pete literally went on a deadly mission for Porsche, Kinn said Pete was his most trusted bodyguard and yet they forgot about him, failed to realize he was in such deep trouble, didn't freaking do anything after they realized Pete wasn't at Grandma's, just stood to the side and rolled their eyes as Tankhun grieved Pete, didn't offer him proper medical or psychological help, had Pete eat fucking noodles by himself, then took Pete to a bar so that Vegas can get to him. Some of these were for ~comedy~ while the others were to progress the plot but they both just scream weak writing, all "we don't know how to make the plot move forward in a logical manner and we don't know how to give our characters depth and consistency"
Porsche being a selfish character or a bad friend would've been interesting actually, I love flawed characters. If Kinn was framed as not caring about any of the bodyguards at all until Porsche came along, that would've also explained his behaviour thus far (actually, maybe I should just assume this to be true and I would have if Kinn displayed more mafia heir behaviour. Like if Kim was the one who didn't give a fuck about the bodyguards, I'd believe it but here, they're not showing that Kinn doesn't care, they're just showing we the writers don't care about the dead bodyguards and can't have kinn rescuing or finding the missing one). But no, these aspects of them aren't really explored or mentioned at all, rather they're less "aspects" of the character and more just "this is how this character needs to act to move the plot forward and this doesn't need to accurate to their character and this behaviour may not continue moving forward."
Bruh I gotta stop writing these essays like yeah okay the writing and characterization for this show sucks ass. The writers will not be getting any flowers from me, though I did like VegasPete in this episode.
Episode 11 and 12's few conversations/mourning a hedgehog/having sex doesn't change their whole personality. It definitely fundamentally changes them, it has unlocked some parts of themselves, but that does not mean Vegas is now a new and changed person. He still has the same coping mechanisms and outbursts, it's not like he learned to deal with abuse in a different way. It fucking sucks that something has broken inside Pete, he's still defiant and self-reliant which is how he managed to escape and not forgive Vegas immediately + he still has the ability to smile and deflect as before. So it's not that Vegas has conquered or destroyed Pete but having been contained/treated that way + having sex with Vegas really fucked up Pete mentally.
Episode 10 and 11 torture was impersonal but this time, it felt less like torture and more like domestic violence and that's what was scarier to me. They're making Vegas so pitiful and I guess he is but I don't feel all that much sympathy towards him; I hope they give us more reasons to actually root for him beyond just 'he's pathetic uwu give him love'
Bible (especially) and Build did a really great job showcasing their emotions.
I don't actually know what I want to happen next episode. They can't make them a couple can they? Maybe if the episode is 3 hours long and 1.5 of that is VegasPete lol. I know this is a romance so they'll end up together but I wouldn't mind if they don't; if they do, I need the writing to be strong please please please. I'd guess that something monumental will happen that changes their relationship once again (like Vegas taking a bullet for Pete or something idk) and then probably an open ending with Pete just starting to forgive Vegas. This way they can get that season 2 money lol
I'll watch the 13th episode again before Saturday probably, at least the VegasPete parts. (Edit: Didn't rewatch before ep 14 lol)
How the hell would I even rate this so far? The main storyline and main couple are like a 6 (had some good parts, esp at the beginning but now I dislike the characters, don't care about their ship, the plot is picking up a little bit but it was really useless in the middle there). VegasPete are like an 8 (great acting, intriguing freaking storyline, I care a lot about Pete and I'm captivated by Vegas and find his character very intriguing - although, I don't quite pity him yet even though they want me to so badly). KimChay is whatever - I don't really care about them at all. The acting is great, the show looks good, I've been reading fics like nobody's business (KinnPorsche before I started watching and at the start, now almost exclusively VegasPete lol I'm making my way through their completed fics from oldest to newest).
Maybe a 6.5? 7? We'll see how the finale pans out I guess.
Episode 14 Blogging
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Hiya! I hope you're doing alright my sweet and lovely author 🖤.
Listen.... about the geese .... all I can say is that over here, right, they are fully breed different. Like you look in their general direction and they will come at you. Basically, the geese own the streets 😂, we're just here.
That playlist. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I am freaking crying!!! UnRELATED reasons, eh? Fully believe you, my friend, FULLY believe you 😂.
OMG!! I know right?!?!? Yes with the facial hair! Like Margate Alfie had that little tuft of graying in his beard and I was like .... 😶👀👀👁👁😳. That plus the scar on his face .... 😳😳🫠 fucking made an already unbelievably hot man even fucking hotter. I absolutely can not. When they gave us that side profile, I was fully deceased. And I totally did not re-wind the video and pause it on him.... not at all.
Pictures of the Screaming Eagles!! The BABIES!! They are so bloody adorable! Look at their little eyes and also, they're so photogenic. They are full on posing in those pictures like they know they're absolutely beautiful and yes of course you should be photographing them. And they also have the cutest names. Like Gallipoli?? The bestest little girl 😫🖤🖤🖤
But yeah, you should absolutely watch the entirety of the Bourne film series ... you know, for your research purposes 👀. (I'm not on the Matt Damon train but I can fully goad your obsession of him, lmao, that's what friends are for, right 😂?)
Anyways, talk to ya later! (Also, I don't know if you saw or not, but last night I think I sent like 14 requests so.... apologies 🙈 but I regret nothing)
🖤🖤🖤
🐍anon
good evening!!!! I've had quite a nice day tbf, I can't lie - work was alright, and I've got a couple of days off coming up soon, too, so that's good! as much as I enjoy working w animals, I gotta admit: it's been quite difficult to do it when I've got a busted ankle that I haven't and won't tell my boss about 😅
listen..... at least it ain't swans. those buggers are fucking vile when they wanna be, whereas geese you fuckin know where they stand immediately. like, within a second of being in a goose's presence, you KNOW where it stands w you - and at least they ain't trying to nick chips from Tesco's like seagulls do! so there's a silver lining shgksjfkskf
UNRELATED REASONS!!! COMPLETELY UNRELATED!!! although in seriousness I do like Sir Mix A Lot as it is... but at least I didn't admit that I think about them whenever I listen to Good Lookin' and Like Whiskey by Dixon Dallas. at least there is that... BUT THE SIR MIX A LOT WASN'T RELATED TO MATT DAMON OR TOM HARDY AT ALL. absolutely not. nope. definitely wasn't looking at pics of them whilst listening. nope. not me.
The Screaming Eagles are, indeed, baby. VERY baby. tbf to all of em (Ace especially bc he's not the most laid back of snakes), they are very tolerant of having their pictures taken and of me, like, getting quite close to take decent pictures. but so far, we got Kaiju (albino checkered garter snake), Der Rote Kampfflieger/Der Kapitän/Manfred/Red Baron (male ball python), Special Agent Fox Mulder (corn snake), Ace Janoušek (bullsnake) & Baroness Gallipoli (female ball python) - even though, for some reason, some people can't tell Red Baron and Gallipoli apart even though they're completely different animals w completely different personalities (Gallipoli, for example, does not tolerate being cradled like a baby, she will just slither around my neck and chill there. Red Baron, on the other hand, will gladly accept being carried and cradled like a baby).
the Bourne series has never particularly interested me, like, I like James Bond but it's just never jumped out at me, but then like.... Matt Damon looks kinda hot in the series,,,, so maybe I should... maybe. I mean, I watched The Martian even though it's not My Thing, and I wasn't disappointed dncksmfksk (do not ask me for plot details). I'm 99% sure this is Christopher Nolan's fault tho, bc I have NEVER found Matt Damon attractive... and then Nolan put him in Oppenheimer w his almost-but-not-quite pornstache, that slutty uniform, and the whole "would absolutely wreck me but I'd thank him" vibe and now I'm like... actually-
so there's ONE bit of propaganda that Nolan got me with.
anyways! I'll talk to you later, the time is currently 2243, so I will (likely) get to writing at some point soon, and bc I'm dog sitting later, I can write some more then as well bc I won't have anything better to do tbh.
have a great morning/afternoon/evening!!! 🫶🏻
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Love Language|| Jujutsu Kaisen
“I wanna be fluent in your love language. Learning your love language.”
A/N: If you didn’t guess from the tagline this is inspired by the song love language by Kehlani. I’ll probably do more of these with different shows and what not because why not. If I missed anyone lmk and I can make a part 2. Also please tag spoilers appropriately esp for manga readers, that being said spoilers for the prequel? manga on Yuuta’s part.
Characters: Itadori, Fushiguro, Kugisaki, Maki, Inumaki, Okkotsu, Gojo, Nanami, Sukuna
Warnings: said it b4 but spoiler warnings in general but esp on Yuuji, Yuuta, and Maki’s parts
Plot synopsis: The 5 love languages; physical affection, quality time, words of affirmation, gift giving and acts of service, and how each jujutsu kaisen character shows their love and affection for you. Ft. a gender neutral reader!
Word count: 2352
Itadori Yuuji
Love Language: Quality time and physical affection
Ok listen-
So for physical affection, Yuuji’s just that kind of person
He is all about giving to you
He’s holding hands with you if you’re ever walking anywhere, and if you’re not a hand holder pls pls pls let him hold your pinky he likes the reassurance
No but seriously he loves to hold you like yall could be walking in completely opposite directions and he’ll try to find some way to hold onto you until the very last second
And even then he’s all ‘:( babe imy’
‘Yuuji we just talked 2 minutes ago’
Another way he shows his love is through quality time
I think for him this is the biggest thing overall, esp as a jujutsu sorcerer bcus you never know yk but also because you’re important to him
Like remember how he literally went to occult club so that he could get out of school in time to go visit his grandpa...ye :(
He also loves finding dumb touristy things to do with you while in Tokyo or anywhere yall go together on a mission
If you get together before he died and came back then that time he had to spend away from you literally killed him
Like my mans was goin THROUGH it
He almost considered spoiling Gojo’s secret
When he sees you again, he’s not gonna let go for like a solid day
Fushiguro Megumi
Love Language: acts of service and words of affirmation
This boy loves you so much
He loves to tell you all the things he loves about you when you’re alone
But he’s a little awkward with his words sometimes, hence where acts of service come in
He’ll immediately offer to hold your things, run to help you train or study, and if you’re cold? He’s fully prepared to never see his jacket again
Also he can’t cook but he’s fully prepared to suffer hearing Sukuna and suffering through Yuuji’s antics if it means he can learn how to make your favorite food
He also will surprise you by making you a playlist of all the songs that you’ve had stuck in your head and sends it to you randomly out of the blue one day like ‘thought you might like this’
However the best of both worlds is when he leaves you little notes throughout the day or sends you texts asking if you need anything or just encouraging you to keep going
Negl he’s lowkey the president of the Y/N support club bcus-
You need anything? It’s yours
Cravings? Sad? Angry? What do you need bby, I’ve got it for you
Also he’s totally the type to be like you need help fuckin this person up?
Also before yall started dating, Fushiguro was a mess
He was constantly asking to spar with you and go on missions, basically anything he could do to be near you
End of the day, Fushiguro loves you and makes sure you know it whether it’s through his actions or his words
Kugisaki Nobara
Love Language: physical affection
So, she’s not the best with words, she tries but like someone help her bcus she is LOST
Like when she had a crush on you she was like “c’mere dumbass i wanna give you a hug”
In fact, she still is like “c’mere” but now you are dating :)
She loves you though and at first she doesn’t really know how to show it
But one day you both come home from training and you just look at each other like ‘yeah today sucks’ and yall both just held each other for the rest of the day
After that, she decided that she wants to do that with you but like always
She’s holding your hand, kissing your cheek when you go shopping, etc. etc.
She really loves to cling to you because she always has this fear that maybe one day you’ll get killed or just disappear so she figures might as well hold onto you for as long as we’ve got
After missions, she’s running up to you and if you aren’t prepared for the tackle, you’re probably gonna fall
On dates too, like if you guys have to meet up for a date, she’s tackling you
On the subject of dates...
She doesn’t mind PDA, and while she might hold your hand or arm so that you don’t get separated
She also doesn’t mind wiping food off your face and eating it, only to then kiss the spot on your face the food was previously at
She will split her shopping load between the two of you, however she will be slightly pouty if she’s carrying more than you (she then cheers up when she realizes she can do more shopping to “balance” the two of you)
In private she’s very cuddly and kissy which honestly isn’t that bad until it gets hot
At which point she’ll just say turn on the ac or convince you to walk around in a tank top (or something like it) so that she can continue holding you
Tbh she prefers the big spoon, but if she’s ever upset you let her be the little spoon >:(
All in all a very loving girlfriend who tries her best to show how much she loves you by glomping you at any given moment.
Zenin Maki
Love language: acts of service and quality time
So you’re telling me that Maki wouldn’t immediately go out of her way to make sure her and her s/o can spend as much time together as possible?????
Like she’s super observant (which can cause her to be a bit harsh, see Yuuta) but she can always tell what’s bothering you
So if you’re upset that you haven’t been spending enough time together due to her being out on missions or otherwise busy she’s immediately running to finish her stuff and spend time with you.
((She’s very sorry, but on the bright side she brought your favorites!))
Maki is also an acts of service type
This mostly ties in with her kind of direct action way of thinking
She thinks she’s slick but you can always see her sneaking around to do small things like grabbing your laundry for you and folding it
She’s very much like if you love someone, you gotta prove it
Overall, dates with her are very intimate and personal to the two of you
Like she’ll take you to a frog pond you landed in during a fight once
Or you’ll take her to a street fair that serves this exclusive food that Maki mentioned wanting to try
However, Maki shows her love through quality time and acts of service and while she does receive love from these to a degree, she is very much a words of affirmation gal
She’s not insecure in her day to day life but she has her moments, everyone does
Sometimes, she’ll feel like shit and a failure and all she wants is for you to say that she’s doing amazing and that she’s a great girlfriend.
Inumaki Toge
Love language: Physical affection
Because of his curse, he can’t exactly express how he feels about you through words
He does text you frequently throughout the day (I’ll have to do a hc abt that someday)
But he’d prefer not to be on his phone to communicate if you’re right in front of him
So he does the next best thing and just smothers you in physical affection
He loves kissing you the most
Like he could spend hours just kissing you if you let him (please let him)
But in public, he gets if you’re not a big fan of pda he’s willing to tone it down as long as he gets kisses later in private
He’d still prefer it if you held his hand or linked pinkies maintaining touch in some way
Also, unrelated, but it means so much to him if you try to understand his sushi language
He knows realistically the foundation of any relationship is communication so already he’s at a disadvantage because of his curse
But if he sees you like take notes after he says something or start to need him to text you to translate, his heart is swelling
Like ‘omg this person loves me enough to learn a whole new language <333′
Another tangent but before you were together he was struggling so muchhhh
Like how does one express their feelings for someone without words?
If you’re Inumaki, you buy some flowers and text said person to meet you at a cafe
It took an embarrassingly long time for you to realize it was a date, but once you did, you ever so gently linked pinkies with Toge
Okkotsu Yuuta
Love language: words. of. affirmation.
He’s literally so sensitive please tell him you love him regularly
In return he’ll be sure to tell you how much he loves you too
He knows that he can’t really be there for you as much as he’d like but he likes to let you know that he’s thinking of you
Doesn’t matter the time, if you call, he’s answering
If he doesn’t he’ll cry he’ll immediately call you back and is apologizing for missing your call
You assure him it’s no big deal but the man has his volume turned all the way up and changed your ringtone to one specific for you by the time you’ve even said hey
Aside from that, he really is sensitive
He’s been through a lot especially with Rika as well as growing up alone and bullied
So for him, it’s everything to hear that you like having him around and don’t think he’s too much or anything like that
Of course, he gets better with time, trusting you and having the confidence in himself to not need constant assurance
That being said, if you ever just whisper in his ear, “I love you, Yuuta.”
That’s not your boyfriend, that’s a puddle of love on the floor
(Maki, Panda, and Inumaki had a field day when they saw him, Fushiguro now questions if Yuuta really is a respectable 2nd year.)
Gojo Satoru
Love language: gift giving and quality time
So Gojo doesn’t exactly get to spend a ton of time
Between missions, him beefing with higher ups, and you and him playing parent the baby sorcerers yall don’t exactly get time to go out much
In which case Gojo tends to default to two options:
He’ll either go the extra mile to try and spend time with you
Whether that be an at home date where he tries and fails to surprise you with a home cooked meal
Or a date out at a restaurant or cafe (which you tend to visit after his home cooking efforts)
OR he’ll bring you various souvenirs from his missions
He loves to spoil you, and if he could he’d probably bring you back a whole store’s worth of stuff
But alas, airport security regulations
Anyways, he loves to spoil you especially if he can spoil you with sweets because it benefits him in two ways
He treasures all the time you spend together, and he does try to overcompensate for his absence with gifts
Despite your assurances, it’s kind of a guilty pleasure at this point (just let him, trying to argue just goads him on further)
He doesn’t only buy you small things, he enjoys buying you outfits
And he especially likes seeing you in them
Kento Nanami
Love Language: acts of service
Y’all remember the episode where he killed that curse that was bothering that baker lady?? Yea that
He’s literally such an acts of service boyfriend it’s not even funny
Before you got together, he would memorize your coffee order and bring you a cup pretty much everyday like clockwork
Now that you’re togehter, he wakes up before you so h=that when you wake up there’s the smell of coffee throughout the house
When you come out of you’re shared bedroom and he’s just scrooling through his phone like “mornin’”
Of course you already made the bed and ironed his clothes because relationships are give and take
And then when you leave for your jobs in the morning, he kisses you and holds the door open for you
He’ll draw a bath for you if he gets home before you, if you let him join or not is up to you
Also, if you ever get sick, he’s actually the best
Like he isn’t the best cook but he can heat up soup and tea
He’ll run to the store while you’re asleep and when you wake up, there’s like a whole tray of food in front of you and he’s like ‘it’s important to eat and drink so your body can heal’
And when you inevitably fall asleep after eating and taking medicine at his insistence, he tucks you in and clears away the dishes, exiting with little more than a kiss to your head
Ryoumen Sukuna
Love Language: gift giving and acts of service
So like Sukuna never says he loves you...ever
But he does notice if someone or something’s making you uncomfortable, and if so, said entity’s head will be presented to you later that day
You also just so happen to be the only person he can tolerate being around him for longer than 20 seconds
He also loves to give you jewelry, he likes seeing you adorned in something from him
He also isn’t gonna just handle all your problems for you, he will push you to become stronger by training with you
He’ll also expect this energy to be reciprocated, as long as you’re pushing yourself to be better, he’s content with that
(He wants to see you grow because he’s scared that if he ever gets caught lackin one day you’ll end up dead)
He’ll never tell you or admit it, but Sukuna truly does care for you and hold you in a regard that he doesn’t have for others
So be grateful jkjk
#love language#love language series#love language hcs#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen hcs#jujutsu kaisen fushiguro#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#yuta okkotsu x reader#inumaki x reader#gojou satoru x reader#itadori yuji x reader#fushiguro megumi x reader#sukuna x reader#nanami x reader#kugisaki x reader#maki x reader#im so sorry yuutas part is so short#hes getting a fic soon i hope that makes up for it ;-;#idontblushsrry
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tear me apart
spencer reid x reader
request: Omg hi! Could you write a BAU x reader based on the episode 23, season 7 “hit”. Where the reader is inside the bank while the robbery happens and tries to protect Will? I’m in love with your blog and would really love to read this! ♥️
warnings: mentions of guns, mentions of blood, bullet wounds, angsty, robbery, a little bit of fluff
oh and also I changed basically all of the plot. and skipped the second episode. its basically the same though!
It was an important day.
The moment Y/N opened her eyes she knew that.
She could feel it in the air, could feel it in the arm that was resting around her waist, in the warm breath on her neck, in the way she could feel the warmth radiating from his body, in the soft kisses she knew would be coming as soon as he woke up.
It was a very important day.
Y/N smiled and cuddled in closer to him, his warmth was intoxicating and she was always so cold.
She loved important days. Loved how Spencer never forgot how important they were to her, loved how they both always took the days off, how they both just spent the day together because they deserved it, loved how it was always their secret little bubble that no one else was allowed in. She loved that Spencer loved them just as much as she did. She loved everything about them.
And today was one of them.
She could practically feel the butterflies in her stomach flying around, gliding in different directions, and moving her insides around. She wasn't particularly fond of the feeling, but it was a nice reminder of just how much Spencer affected her.
She laid there for a long time, just listening to him breathing, feeling his chest rise and fall against her back. It was a lovely feeling. It almost made her never want to get up.
Almost.
When she finally felt his breathing change, when she could tell that he was about to get up when the clock struck 9:30 and like a child on Christmas that couldn't wait any longer, she jumped up out of bed, hoping that the loss of her presence would be enough to wake him up.
She rushed to the bathroom to brush her teeth before he could catch her. If they wanted to get on with their day together, she would have to finish the few tasks she had left on her to-do list. And then she could spend all day with him.
With just him.
The butterflies fluttered around her stomach some more.
She was standing in front of the mirror, still brushing her teeth when Spencer walked into their bathroom. His eyes were still tired, and he was still slouched from sleep. But he was smiling. Y/N grinned and pretended not to notice him in the mirror.
His eyes were soft as he leaned against the wall, he knew she knew he was there, but it was nice to stare at her. Just a moment with no interrupts. A moment meant just for staring.
She turned around and raised an eyebrow at him. Her lips were turned up in a half-smile. Spencer raised his hands innocently and smiled back at her.
“Good morning,” he said as he walked over to her, decreasing the amount of space between them significantly, and resting his hands around her waist. She tried to talk with toothpaste still in her mouth but, eventually sighed and gave up, and turned away from him and his warmth while he laughed at her.
When she turned around she felt amazed by the smile on his face. It was one she didn't get to see often, one he kept hidden away for days just like this. She briefly thought that it was her favorite smile of his.
She moved her hands up and intertwined them around his neck. She felt him pull her in, could feel his smile against her back. It was contagious.
They stood there for a minute, holding each other and smiling.
And then Y/N untangled her hands from around him and walked out of the bathroom. She laughed as he protested, hurrying into their closet so she could get dressed.
Spencer, already knowing what she was doing, whined “Why are you getting dressed?” as he watched her grab a shirt from off its hanger.
She looked over to him and gave him a teasing smile. “I have an errand to run,” she answered, moving to get some jeans.
Spencer grabbed her wrist before she could reach them. “Don't you know what day it is?” he asked with a pout, his eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.
“Of course I know what day it is.” she snorted, gently removing herself from his grasp as she continued to get dressed.
“Then why are you leaving?”
“Because I have to get something done,” she said as if it was that simple as if he would just nod and send her off.
“Y/N…” he whined, moving in front of her so she couldn't walk away from him.
“Spencer, it'll only take an hour,” she said softly, reaching up on her tiptoes to peck him on the forehead, and then moving past him towards the door.
He followed after her as she slipped on her shoes and grabbed her bag. He was giving her a death stare as she continued to get ready to get out of the door. It was an important day. She shouldn't leave.
“Spencer” she laughed looking up at him and grabbing his face between her hands softly. “We have the rest of the day. I’ll be back.”
He just frowned at her, not saying anything, upset at her actions.
She tried not to grin at him.
Y/N pulled him closer and pecked his lips, once, twice, three times, and then he was pulling her in closer, removing the distance between them and glued their lips together. They stood in their doorway, and Spencer refused to let her go, refused to let her leave on a day like this one, refused to let her leave. Even when she tried to pull away he kept her stuck to him.
Though it wasn't as if she was using all of her strength, her efforts to break away from him were futile as they both knew neither of them wanted to let go.
Eventually, she built up enough resolve to actually pull herself away from him.
She couldn't stop the smile from taking over her face. “I’ll be back sweetheart,” she said sweetly, and while Spencer tried not to, her smile was too infectious not to smile back.
She kissed him one more time. Just for a moment.
“Happy Anniversary,” she whispered against his lips.
And then she was walking out the door before Spencer could protest.
***
Spencer woke up to the sound of gunshots.
Y/N had been gone a while.
When she had left, he let the disappointment boil in his stomach, let himself be upset for a moment, before he thought of her words, of her soft kisses, of the way she was holding him only a couple of minutes ago. He thought about her for a moment, and his disappointment faded into anticipation. He couldn't wait to spend the day with her.
But it was agony to wait.
So, he had decided to try to go back to sleep, although he wasn't tired, and he was wide awake, sleeping would be a good way to pass the time. So he walked himself back to bed lazily, and while he’d been doubting that he’d actually be able to go back to bed, he’d fallen asleep much quicker than expected.
And then he was startled awake by the loud bolt in his air.
Immediately he looked up, his instincts kicking in, his eyes bolted around the room, trying to find the source of the loud noise. And after a moment of searching, he looked down at his bedside table and saw it was just his phone buzzing.
Not gunshots.
While he was relieved, his face turned sour when he saw the same on his phone. JJ. JJ meant that something was going on. JJ meant that there was a case, meant that Spencer wasn't going to get his perfect day with Y/N, that he wasn't going to get any time to himself on his day off. It meant that they had to go into work.
He sighed and answered the call.
“Hey Spencer, we’ve got a bank robbery. Hotch wants us to come in.” JJ listed off quickly, ignoring the fact that Spencer hadn't even greeted her.
“A bank robbery? Why are we-”
“I’ll send you the address.” She said, and with a click of the phone, JJ was gone.
And Spencer had work. On their anniversary.
It was their anniversary. It was the anniversary. It was the anniversary of the day they’d first met, of the day they’d both caught each other's eye.
It had been three years.
Not long enough.
The memory, that seemed so far away, still hadn't faded. Spencer could still smell the warm vanilla scent in the air, could still feel the cold air brushing against his neck, could still feel the rumbling of the voices around him. He could pinpoint everything that had happened, could remember exactly how it was. They’d met at a farmers market. A place that was completely unrelated to work, a place where they’d both seen each other for the first time, a place where they’d thought they’d never see each other again.
Spencer could still see the light in her eyes, could still see the innocent way she walked around, looking for something. He thought about what she had told him a year after that day, a year later when they’d met officially through work, and had developed a fondness for each other. She told him that he’d seemed brighter than everyone else, that she’d watched him for a while before she left, that she was trying to commit him to memory so she wouldn't forget the light coming off of him. She’d told him that on their first anniversary.
The memories that Spencer held of Y/N would never fade.
And it was only their third anniversary, it was only three years together.
Spencer smiled slightly. Let himself dream of her for a moment, dream of the day they could’ve had together. He let himself drift off for just a minute.
And then he was back in reality.
And there was a bank he had to get to.
He pretended he didn't still hear the ringing of a gunshot in the air.
There was no gunshot.
***
Colonial Liberty Bank.
Three robbers, one murder, lots of hostages.
Seven bank robberies in seven months.
Spencer was the first one on the scene, his teammates quickly followed, JJ being the last one there. As soon as he saw her run into Will’s arm, and rush to ask him if he was okay, Spencer understood why she had been so rushed on the phone, and why it was important that they were there.
The robbers had killed 7 people before this robbery but had always been classified as robbers before murderers. Now, it was clear that there was something else going on.
“No one kills 7 people without serious psychopathic tendencies,” Spencer noted as Hotch explained the circumstances.
There were two men and a woman, they were being called the “Face Cards”, and no one knew what they were willing to risk to get out.
There were too many hostages.
Will explained what had happened when he and his partner had responded to the call when they’d showed up and tried to come up with a plan to get inside the building without anyone getting hurt when his partner had died from a bullet in the head. He explained how they were just getting out, how if he’d been a minute later they would’ve been gone. He told them about the man he had shot.
There wasn't enough information yet.
Y/N still hadn't shown up. No one had pointed it out yet, but Spencer had noticed. He wondered where she had gone, how far away she was, how soon she would be there.
He chose not to say anything. She would be there soon. She was probably five minutes away. Probably.
Working outside gave the robbers an advantage. Working outside meant that Garica had limited resources, that more people could get hurt, that they had to make do with what they could bring to the scene.
The team walked into the truck Garcia was working out of, it held screens displaying the surveillance cameras in the bank. All of them watched as the female looked around, scoured around every part of the bank. They could all see the two males on the floor, one of them hunched over, holding his chest. That must have been the one that had gotten shot.
It was strange that they hadn't cut the videos. It meant that there was something they wanted the police to see. None of them could figure out what.
“They’re overconfident. Arrogant, even.” JJ said.
“The face card masks add to their narcissism. Their personas are the royalty of poker.” Spencer listed off, as he messed with his phone, texting Y/N again, hoping she would answer this time.
“JJ, Reid, and Prentiss look at past robberies, that's going to be our victimology. Pull another analyst if you need to. Dave, I want you to hand negotiations. And Morgan, strategize tactical options with the MPD.” Hotch reported back to them, they all gave one last look to the cameras, checked to make sure nothing else had happened, and then they walked away, ready to get to work.
Spencer walked out of the truck with his head held down, staring at his phone, typing incessantly. When he knocked into another body he looked up startled, his eyes struggled on the figure beside him.
“Chief Strauss,” he said, clearing his throat, and continued walking away.
There was nothing he could do until he got back to the BAU, and while he had the time he was going to find out where Y/N was.
Before he got into the car, he heard a voice say his name behind him.
“Hey, Kid!” Morgan shouted, stopping Spencer before he could leave. Spencer looked back at him with a raised eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. “Have you seen Y/N?” Morgan asked, finally noticing that she wasn't there with them.
Spencer sighed and looked down at his phone. He hoped he would see the three little dots, see her typing, just so she could tell him that she was stuck in traffic, that her car had broken down, just so she could tell him there was a reason she wasn't there.
He frowned and looked back at Derek, his eyes squinting at the sun. “No, I haven't heard from her.”
Derek looked at him doubtfully and noticed the way Spencer's eyes were worried, frightened at the prospect that she wasn't with him. “I’m sure she's fine kid.” Derek reminded him, not wanting Spencer to be distracted while they were working.
Spencer nodded. Derek was probably right. She was fine. She was fine. He nodded once more than got in the car.
She was fine. She would be there soon.
**
“I’ll be right back.” the King whispered quietly. “Who the hell is this?” he answered, picking up the phone.
Her heart was beating too loudly.
“My name is David Rossi. I’m with the FBI. To whom am I speaking?” There was a slight murmur of the phone. But she couldn't hear what they were saying.
“Alright. I want a doctor sent in, and then I want out of here.” The King answered, waving his gun around angrily.
She looked over to see the Queen purse her lips, her eyes suddenly getting hard. Her body language was much more closed off than the other two.
High demands, she thought.
“Well, we certainly can discuss that. Let the hostages go and we’ll give you all the medical help you need.”
The other man on the floor coughed, blood escaping from his lips. She knew that if they didn't send in help soon he would die, and there was a chance the rest of them would too.
She looked at the faces around her, all of them panicked and shocked. Some of them seemed as if they were in denial as if they couldn't believe something like this was actually happening to them. The most present feeling in the room though was tension. She could feel it between every emotional tie that laid between the hostages, she could feel it in their petrified faces, in the way the Queen was pacing the room, in the way the King didn't seem to notice.
There were children in the room, she knew that even their innocence wouldn't save them.
The King suddenly started laughing. “I can't do that. I need the leverage,” he said, a threatening tone to his voice.
“How about a sign of good faith? Send out the women and children and I’ll see what I can do.” the voice on the phone had gotten louder, and while she still couldn't make out the words, she knew that they were probably demanding for the women and children to be sent out. That was what her team would ask for.
The King looked directly at her in disbelief. And while she knew that he didn't know, that he had no clue, she was still scared that something was going to happen. She didn't want him to look at her.
“He's trying to negotiate.” The king said, now looking at the queen.
“Negotiate?” she said in disgust. She noted how the Queen's stance hadn't changed even when the King was talking to her. She noted how there didn't seem to be a connection between them. “We’re not playing games.”
She didn't like the tone in the Queen's voice. She didn't like the way she was looking around the room. She didn't know what to do.
She watched as the Queen forcibly moved a little girl away from her father. She listened to the little girl begging, to her Father pleading with the Queen.
She could feel her blood rushing, could feel her head clouding with rage, could feel herself reaching for a gun she hadn't brought with her. She shouldn't need her gun.
What could she do?
“Either we get what we want, or everyone in this room dies.”
She looked around at all the people, looked at the King, feeling desperate, hoping that he would disagree with the Queen, that he had some morals, and had some sense of humanity. But all she was met with was a King who was nodding his head, holding up the phone so that the person on the other line could hear.
No no no.
“Do that and you get nothing.”
No no no.
And there was nothing she could do. She only listened as the Father begged the Queen to trade himself for his daughter, only listened as there was a gunshot.
A cry of a little girl.
“You better send in some help, or more people are going to die.”
**
“Sir I found a thing. See, I took height and weight measurements and I crossed them with known related offenders who specialize in bank jobs-”
“Show me.” Hotch interrupted, too busy to try to understand anything Garcia was saying.
“Yes. These are brothers, Chris and Oliver Stratton. They are petty thieves from Philly, turned bank robbers in New Jersey.” Garcia said, her typing insistently in the background. “They were put into jail for two years after an attempted heist went sour, and they were released two months before the first Face Card robbery, and their measurements are a match.”
Strauss suddenly spoke up, watching Garcia look through their files. “Why didn't the NCIC database connect them?”
“Because the brothers have never used a third partner, and shooting people is not part of their M.O.”
“Looks like they were not very successful criminals,” Hotch said.
“Maybe adding a woman to their team improved their game.”
And then suddenly Garcia gasped.
She stopped typing. Both Hotch and Strauss looked over to her, confused.
“S-sir?” she stumbled out, her mouth going numb.
And she was staring at the screen, staring at the girl on the screen, at the girl she knew so very well.
They were all staring at her.
**
“Reid?” Emily asked for the third time, trying to get Spencer out of his daydream.
He wasn't paying attention.
She still hadn't answered. She still hadn't even read his text messages. This wasn't like her. This wasn't something she would do.
Where was she?
“Sorry,” he cleared his throat and shook his head. Morgan said she was fine. She was fine. He had a job to do. “The women chose a different type of victim each time. It's not just the security guard. It's been a mother, a manager, and a young child-”
**
“You can't tell Reid.” Derek insisted.
“Morgan-”
“No. He was freaked out earlier. He can't know about this right now, not when he's trying to help Emily and JJ.” He continued. Spencer couldn't know. If he didn't, there would be nothing he could do.
“We can't just keep it a secret,” Hotch said sternly.
“Hotch. He can't know.”
**
They still hadn't sent in a medic. It was going to be too late.
She didn't want to think about what would happen if it was too late. Without the Jack, there was no telling what the King would do.
Olly. She committed his name to memory. It might help later.
The Queen was still pacing, still waving her gun at every person, still trying to scare all of them even though there wasn't any chance of any of them trying to escape. The Queen looked more and more irritated by the minute.
She hoped the Queen wouldn't shoot someone again. She hoped they would send in a Medic.
The phone started ringing.
“Why hasn't anyone come in yet?” The King said desperately, but he didn't sound angry this time, he just sounded like he wanted to get the Jack out of there. She wondered why they were so close, what was so special about their relationship?
“We’re sending in the Medic now Chris. Tell Oliver help is on the way.”
“Hurry.” The King said, slamming the phone back down. “They know our names.” the King announced to the Queen, calmer than she would’ve expected.
She wondered when they were going to make her go stand with the rest of the people, why they hadn't forced her off of the ground, why she was still allowed to sit. She wondered if they knew who she was.
She told herself not to think about it.
The Queen took her mask off, set it down on a counter close by. She tried to commit the Queens features to memory. “Not all our names.” The Queen said arrogantly, moving a couple of steps forward.
She wondered what the Queen was doing. Why she was so confident in herself. She watched her put on lipstick, it looked like she was performing a show.
She looked up and saw the cameras.
There were cameras.
The cameras were still on.
If the camera were still on that meant someone knew she was there. That meant someone was watching. Someone was watching them.
Why did they leave the cameras on?
She hadn't been paying enough attention to see the medic walk in.
But she did start paying attention when the King started yelling.
“No! No! No!” he said as the Jack started choking. “Get over here!” The King pointed his gun at the medic, and stood up, as to make himself seem taller.
She had a bad feeling in her stomach, had a bad feeling filling her chest. This wasn't good. Something was wrong.
She watched as the medic started performing CPR, watched as he pumped the Jack’s chest, but she knew that he was dead, and so did the medic. She watched as the medic leaned down to listen to the Jack's breath, but she saw how he paused.
Like he was being told what to do.
And the King saw it too.
And then there were more gunshots.
**
“No, I just want you to buy us a little time. Don't be quite so efficient.” Hotch said. He needed time. They all needed time. She needed time.
“Whatever you’re gonna do, do it fast,” Strauss said and walked away.
Hotch sighed in relief. Just some time.
“Alright, reasoning with them is still our best option.” He told Rossi, ignoring the panic in his chest, in the thought of keeping secrets, of one of his agents still in there.
“That’ll be difficult, Chris just lost his brother and murdered someone in retaliation. We’re dealing with two killers now.”
It wasn't as if they hadn't dealt with situations like this before. They had. They did it practically every day of their lives. But what could they do with her in there, how could they send an order they knew could end lives when she was in there?
How could they not tell Spencer?
**
The next phone call was different.
Things were already so tense. The King and Queen seemed to be fighting each other, proving to the other that they were in charge. And the Jack was dead. The King was upset and threatened to kill everyone.
They wanted a way out, they wanted to leave the country. They’d told that to the negotiators.
She knew it wouldn't be long until they got their wish.
Her instincts were telling her that she couldn't let them go, that they deserved to rot in jail, that they didn't deserve to leave the country.
But the other part of her.
The part that was being kept hostage.
That part was begging the police to let them go, to get them out of there so that no one else got hurt. So she could stop feeling so helpless, so alone, so cold, in a bank she wished she’d never gone to. It was begging them to get her out of there, get her home, get her warm. She didn't want to feel guilty for the lives that had been lost anymore. She wanted to go home.
It wouldn't be long.
But the phone call was different.
She couldn't hear anything the negotiator was saying, could barely hear the King talking, but she knew that he was upset. She knew that the negotiator was saying something the King didn't like.
“You’re lying.” the King said suddenly, turning around to look at the Queen, his face was confused, and for a moment she felt bad for him.
She shouldn't. He’d murdered that man.
“Did you call the police?” he asked, nodding at the Queen. His body was tense, but his face didn't look threatening.
The Queen giggled. It was the first time she’d heard her laugh. It sounded wrong.
“Is that what they’re telling you?” the Queen asked, and she could see her body language change, she was tenser like she was trying to hide something.
She was trying to hide something.
“Of course not. What do you think? They’re trying to turn us against one another.”
“Why would you even do that? Olly’s dead because of that.” The King looked disgusted. He looked like he’d given up. There was no power in his voice, no anger in his body. He looked exhausted.
“I wouldn't. I’m trapped here too.” the Queen said, stepping toward the King, insistent.
And then the King changed.
“Are you lying to me?” he accused, suddenly angry, suddenly full of emotion. His muscles were tense as he raised his gun to point it at her.
The Queen didn't back down. “We’ve come too far for you to start doubting me now. Lost too much.” she took a step forward. “Hey,” she said, her voice softer, more like a girl now. “Hey..” she said again, pointing the gun away from her chest and moving toward the king. “Don't let them tear us apart. Right as we’re about to win,” she whispered, running her hands over his face. “If you do that, Olly’s death won't mean anything.”
The King paused, stumbling over his words, staring at the Queen.
She’d tricked him.
“Enough. I’m done talking to you. I want to talk to someone who won't jerk me around, face to face.” the King said into the phone.
“No more Feds.” the Queen confirmed.
“I want to talk to the cop that shot my brother.” The King turned away from the Queen, suddenly angry again.
He hung up the phone.
**
It was minutes later. Another man had died.
The King was furious. He was going to kill someone else every minute the cop didn't come in.
He was going to kill someone else.
She had to do something.
He was walking around. He was looking for the next victim.
She couldn't breathe. She didn't know what to do, she didn't know how she could stop him and stop the Queen. She knew it wouldn't matter to the Queen if he was dead. She didn't know what to do.
He walked around, his legs were right next to where she was sitting down.
“Nah… Nah… Nah…” he said looking at all the terrified people that were standing there.
He was pacing back and forth, walking past her, walking past her.
She could feel the panic rise up her throat, could feel the bile that came with it.
She didn't know what to do.
He stopped in front of her.
She was the next victim.
**
The team watched as he pulled another girl up. They watched while Will got ready to go in, got ready to go save them. JJ was standing next to him, looking terrified, begging him not to go in. She couldn't lose him, she didn't care about anything else, she wasn't going to lose him. It was too dangerous, it was much too dangerous, she wouldn't let him.
They watched as the King grabbed a girl by her collar, forcing her to stand up.
Their hearts stopped.
“Hotch,” Spencer said. He said, and he wasn't breathing anymore. He dropped his phone and he wasn't breathing.
She was in there. She was on the screen. She was standing there with the King right in front of his eyes.
Y/N was there. She was there. The King was going to kill her, she was going to die, she was going to be dead.
No.
“That's Y/N,” Spencer said, his voice shaking, his hands struggling to move, struggling to get a hold on his body. She was in there, he’d been calling her this whole time, and she’d been in there with them. She was in there. He couldn't breathe.
“We have to get her out. Hotch!” He said turning around to face his boss, “We have to get her out of there! We can't just- just- leave her.”
Hotch was looking at the boy in front of him. He had a crazed look in his eyes, a frightening stance to his body, he was looking at the boy and he wished he had told Spencer earlier.
“Kid, we can't go in there. Everyone will die.” Morgan said, grabbing Spencer's shoulder, trying to keep him from freaking out, taking over for Hotch who didn't know what to do.
No one had told him. Everyone else had known. No one looked surprised. No one had told him.
He looked back to the screen, looked back to see the girl he loved at the hands of a murderer, looked to see her face which was terrified, her body which seemed to be crumbling. She was grabbing onto her chest like she was trying to keep herself together. She was in there with him, she was going to die.
“I’m going in.” He said, and he moved past all the people, all his teammates who were all staring at him.
“Reid,” Hotch said, following after him.
“I have to get her. I can't just let her die.”
“Reid,” Hotch said again, more sternly this time.
“No! No!” he said, throwing his hands up as to keep Hotch away. “I will not let her die! She cant die Hotch she can't die she cant.” He said.
And as Hotch held him back with the help of Derek, JJ was struggling in Rossi’s arms. She was screaming and crying and Spencer couldn't pay attention to her. He couldn't feel anything but the panic in his chest, but the anger that was boiling in his stomach. He could feel himself tearing apart, his body was made of nothing but paper without her, he needed to get her, he just needed to go get her, she needed him, he needed to go get her.
He couldn't watch her die.
He couldn't.
He didn't notice JJ screaming. Didn't notice Will walking in, didn't notice anything.
He was tearing in half.
She was in there.
**
She struggled in his arms. She struggled to try to get away, to get herself another chance, to figure out a way to live.
He was dragging her towards the phone.
“Pick it up.” He said and pushed her towards it.
Her hands were shaking, her heart was pounding, and she had no idea how she had managed to keep the bile in her mouth. She should’ve puked by now.
She shook her head. She wasn't going to submit to him.
“Pick it up!”
And she did this time. She didn't want anyone else to die. She was smarter than this. She was.
“Tell him your name.”
“It's Y/N,” she whispered.
And she wasn't prepared for the voice to be so familiar.
“Y/N. We’re coming. You’ll be fine kiddo.” Rossi said, wincing at the sound of her voice. She sounded so small, so unlike the girl he knew.
“Rossi?” she whispered again, this time with surprise.
“We’ve got you, kid,” he said.
She could feel the tears running down her cheeks, and she didn't want to hope, she didn't want to let herself hope for anything, because she knew how these things usually turned out. She knew she had a limited amount of time before he would shoot her.
But her family was there.
Her family.
“Tell Spencer I love him,” she whispered to Rossi, a shiver running through her bones. She was so cold. She was too cold. She didn't know how a person could be this cold.
She whispered out her last words knowing that her time was up. Knowing that this was it. These were the last words she needed to say.
For him.
The King raised his gun up, ready to shoot her, and she was wincing, ready to hear the gun go off, ready to delve into darkness. She was going to die ice cold. She was freezing. Maybe it would be quick.
And he was about to shoot.
When the Queen said, “look.”
Will was walking in. Will was walking into the bank. Will was here. He had shot the King's brother. Will.
“Let these people go,” Will said to the King, giving a side glance to Y/N.
She wasn't dead yet. She hadn't died just then. Will was here.
How could she still be alive? How could she still breathe in air, how was she still alive, how wasn't her time up.
Her time was supposed to be up. She should’ve been dead. She was so cold.
Will.
She knew the King planned to kill him. She knew what was coming. How could she help?
The King let three hostages go, a mother and two children. Relief flooded through Y/N’s body. At least three lives wouldn't be lost today. Three lives that Will had just saved. How to save him?
“Hey. What's your name?” The King asked Will, stepping towards him. Y/N watched as the Queen started to take something out of her bag.
“William Lamontagne Jr. MPD.” Will said, and his eyes looked terrified, his face was sullen, and he looked defeated. He looked ready to give up. Y/N thought about Henry, she thought about his son, about his girlfriend that was outside, she thought about all the people that were depending on him, she thought and she thought.
And she looked to the King, she saw his finger flex over the trigger of his gun.
She thought one more time.
And she jumped in front of Will.
There were two shots. One for Y/N. One for Will.
The cameras went out.
**
Spencer wasn't thinking.
He couldn't think anymore.
He felt like he had died. Died with her.
“Did you see where they were shot?” JJ asked, her cheeks stained with tears, her eyes red. She was doing more than Spencer. She wanted to know if they had a chance if they had made it. “Are they alive or dead Garcia?”
Spencer already knew the answer.
How could he not?
He was two different parts, he’d been torn apart, he was alive but he wasn't breathing, he wasn't thinking, he was alive but there was nothing, nothing he could think nothing he could feel. He was alive, but he wasn't. He was gone. He had left. He didn't know where he was.
If she was alive he wouldn't feel like this.
He knew she was dead.
He couldn't think.
“Will was wearing a vest. He might be okay.” Emily said, trying to reassure JJ, trying to do anything for her friend.
Y/N hadn't been wearing a vest.
“Might be.” JJ laughed without humor, she looked down and shook her head. How could this have happened to her? How could this have happened to Will?
Rossi walked into the room, he looked at all of his teammates, most of them looked miserable. He tried to ignore that. “They’re not answering,” he said, joining the group.
JJ stood up suddenly.
“All right, we need to get inside,” she said, moving to walk out the door.
“JJ, it's too risky,” Derek said, grabbing her arm to stop her. He wasn't going to let another one of his friends go in there and get hurt. It wasn't worth it. “We don't have eyes in there anymore,” he said.
“Aaron…” she said brokenly, desperately. She had to go in. She had to.
Spencer, who hadn't been paying attention, had barely been breathing, suddenly stood up, and moved towards the door. “I’m going to get her,” he said, almost as if he hadn't seen what had just happened. His voice broke as he said it, clogged with the tears that he wasn't letting escape his eyes. “I’m going to get her.” he repeated as if they hadn't heard him the first time.
Derek stopped Spencer, tried to get his friend to look at him, but Spencer wasn't paying attention. He couldn't feel anything.
Hotch looked at him, and then looked back at JJ who still had her eyes on Hotch.
“Let's go in,” he said. He had to do it for his family.
**
Will was down on the ground. He’d been shot in the chest. Y/N was luckier.
She’d been shot in the leg. Another man, one of the hostages that were still left over, had ordered a worker of the bank to hold pressure on Will’s injury.
She’d been so much more fortunate than Will.
The hostage that had helped Will, was now talking to her, helping her tie a tourniquet on her leg to stop the blood.
“Are you a Medic?” she breathed out, as the pain in her leg paralyzed her body. She winced and opened her eyes to look at him.
“A former United States Marine.”
It was then that Will woke up.
He locked eyes with her, didn't say a word, he looked around and started to get up. She didn't understand what he was doing, she didn't understand why he was moving, she didn't know what was going on.
There was something wrong with her head. Her eyes were watering and her ears were ringing.
She couldn't hear anything.
But she watched as Will went up to the King, watched as he started talking to him, she could tell that he was in pain, that his chest was burning, but he was still there talking to the King. She didn't know where the Queen went.
She watched as Will explained something to him, watched as they walked away.
Her ears were still ringing, still keeping her hostage to the ground, moving the pain up her body as her eyes went blurry. She didn't know what was so wrong with her, and she didn't know why it was getting hard to breathe.
“Where are they going?” she stumbled out, she could barely hear herself, but she knew something was going on.
The man next to her was explaining something and was telling her something, but her eyes were so tired, and the ringing was so loud. When the Marine next to her finally discovered that she couldn't hear him, could barely see him, he motioned to the other hostages.
And then she was being picked up. Her eyes were burning, and her head was being stabbed by a hundred needles as she felt the person carrying her walk. She couldn't hear anything, but she trusted that she would be fine. She was going to be fine.
The ringing was so loud.
She was whining, and the Marine carrying her was trying to ask her questions, hoping she would be able to hear him.
But the ringing was so loud.
She was about to sleep about to let herself sleep when she saw something.
She felt herself being passed over to someone new.
“Spencer” she breathed out, opening her eyes slightly.
And then the ringing was too much, and she fainted.
***
Spencer couldn't believe the relief in his chest. He was amazed by the feeling that had flooded his body at just the sight of her, at the air that had filled his lungs, at the feeling in his brain that made everything else seem okay.
She was alive.
They were in the hospital now. She had taken a bullet to the leg, had a concussion, and was bruised up in multiple places.
But she hadn't died.
Spencer couldn't stop smiling.
He was sitting next to her hospital bed, and he wasn't really thinking, still couldn't really believe anything. He was just listening to her heartbeat. Listening to the constant beeping of the monitor next to her.
Her heart was beating.
She was alive.
Spencer felt himself get stitched up with every beep that went by, with every reminder that she was still right next to him.
He thought about her eyes, and her smile, and her expression. He thought about the way she had smiled at him earlier that morning, before everything, thought about the kiss she had given him right before she left. He wondered if he would still feel that happy when she woke up.
People kept coming into the room to update him on the case, told him that it had taken more work to find them after the bank had exploded, told him that Will had survived, that Emily had saved his life.
And while he was relieved, glad that Will was okay, that no one else had died, nothing could match the feeling he felt just holding the hand of the girl he loved.
He felt selfish but at that moment, he didn't care about anything but her, didn't care about anything except the heartbeat that still surrounded his world. He couldn't survive without her, he couldn't think about anything but her.
He patiently waited for her to wake up.
It took 12 hours, 12 hours of sitting next to her, sitting and watching people walk in and out of the room, 12 hours of listening to her heartbeat from the monitor, 12 hours just right next to her.
And eventually, her eyes opened.
And Spencer didn't say anything, he let her wake up on her own accord, let her eyes adjust to the room, let her take a moment to think about where she was. He couldn't imagine the pain she was in at that moment.
He waited patiently for her to look at him.
And like always, her eyes were drawn to him, her mind was pulled to his, and it only took her ten seconds to look over and see Spencer.
And despite the pain, despite the burning of her leg, the distant ringing in the background, despite everything she had been through, she smiled at him.
“Happy Anniversary.” she coughed out, her voice raw.
Spencer shook his head, amused at her, dazed by the sound of her voice. It was his favorite sound in the world.
He got up to go get her some water, not wanting her to strain the voice he was so fond of.
“You’re alive,” he whispered when she grabbed the cup from him. He whispered it as if he still couldn't believe it, even after listening to her heartbeat, watching her for 12 hours, even after hearing her voice, he still couldn't believe it.
She sipped the water and watched his eyes, they looked exhausted, he looked exhausted, but she could see a light in them. A light she could always see in him. She smiled at that. He was still the same person she had seen three years ago. He was the man she loved. She was still alive.
“I promised I would be back didn't I?” she whispered, trying to get him to her look at her.
And he did, and suddenly he was moving toward her.
He took her face in his hands, carefully so he wouldn't hurt her, and he kissed her. He felt a different kind of relief fill his body, he felt her melt into him, felt her lips strain against his. It was so much different now, so much different after he had almost lost her, it was so different but so so perfect.
She smiled against his lips, and like always he couldn't resist smiling back.
He pulled back, a smile still stuck to his face, and kept his hands on the side of her face. He was in love with the smile on her face.
“Y/N,” he whispered seriously, looking from her lips to her eyes.
“Yes?” she whispered back.
“You feel his girl in between my hands?” he asked, and she nodded her head in his hands, confused at his words, pouting in concentration. He smiled at her and pecked her lips to remove the pout. “I can't live without her,” he said, now desperate for her to understand. “So I need you to take care of her okay?”
And she laughed, tears running down her face.
They’d almost lost each other.
He was so warm.
She smiled.
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JIB9 (JIBCON 2018) ANALYSIS PART 2
Go read part 1 of jib9 analysis if you haven’t read it already.
Continuing from where we left off...
Misha says no, he doesn’t think that Cas feels like part of the family and Jensen smirks and looks down while Jared smiles
Jensen helps Misha along with his answer
Jensen defends Sam and Dean after Misha says they don’t show emotion saying things like “I love you so much”
Jens: “There are a few scenes where you know,”
Jared: “Didn’t you see the one with the whole if we die we will do that together too?”
Jens: “Yeah that was emotional”
This is getting serious people. Remember this is season 13 they are talking about.
Jens keeps going on “you know there was embracing, and then there was a lot-I mean…” This whole time Jensen is looking at Misha
Misha is like “All I’m saying…”
And Jensen cuts Misha off and says, “Did you miss that?”
Look at Jared’s face here though. He’s like are you guys having a lovers’ quarrel? Am I missing something?
Misha tries to talk again but Jensen is adamant, unrelenting to give up on that there was an emotional scene between Dean and Cas. 13x05??? “Were you not there?”
Misha being who he is and not backing down either he says, “NO” rather defiantly.
Jared’s face here though. He stopped talking and is watching these two lovers go at it. (No, not the sexy kind)
Jensen doesn’t look too thrilled about what Misha said. Jared laughs Jensen is basically done at this point. Look at his face.
Misha continues “That was Castiel”
And Jensen just looks appalled, he raises his eyebrows looks down at his hands [0.43 insert Jensen’s face atm] and since Misha is looking at him and he sees that Jensen is unhappy he adds “I’m very method.”
Jensen goes to say something but stops himself, Jared senses the tension, Misha is still looking at Jensen and Jensen hasn’t looked at Misha since he asked him “were you not there?”
IDK what is going on here but it fees like more than just about Dean and Cas and more like it’s about Jensen and Misha. I mean Jared and Misha are having fun with it and Jensen just seems adamant to prove they care A LOT about Cas which is weird considering the fact that the moment Misha was asked that question Jensen agreed with Jared that they are not as pleased that Cas was back (this was a joke) . So what has changed since then? Only a few seconds have passed.
Jensen presses on, “I mean was Cas there? I know he was there physically but was he there emotionally? Because it doesn’t sound like it.”
The way Misha is holding his microphone he looks scared. Jensen can’t take his eyes off Misha.
Misha says, “see this is what I’m talking about” I think he realizes Jensen is getting too emotional and personal on stage and he decides to guide the conversation to the funny side.
Jensen laughs .
Misha says “ I don’t think he [Cas] lets himself feel worthy or wanted” and Jensen keeps looking at a fixed spot on the floor and I don’t know what’s so interesting there. Jared says “smart” in reference to Misha’s statement and Jensen nods.
Jared tries to make fun but Misha is not having it, he [Misha] looks at an imaginary watch and says “That said-uh…that said I think this season he’s felt more part of the team and the family…probably *looks at Jensen* more than ever before” Now I talked about that moment here but I have to reiterate, something is off here tbh. I don’t know what was going on with Jensen but something was definitely off.
I have been thinking about what the causation of Jensen’ s behaviour could be and I have come to a very weird and maybe kind of controversial conclusion, IDK. But here’s what I think. Maybe Misha finally told Jensen that he didn’t feel like he was part of the family because of the way they treated him and talked shit about him at J2 panels? Like how he pretended to gag when he saw Misha on screen during the jib9 j2 panel the previous day. Or the extreme pranks Jared played on him and Jensen just stood aside? The way some j2 fans send hate to him and that it gets to him. Maybe he finally opened up. Because if that is the case then, Jensen blamed himself for making Misha feel like that when he didn’t have any intention to? I hope I’m making sense. Or maybe it could be something else entirely but I feel like since 2017 Jensen had stopped going along with Jared’s attempts to make fun of Misha at their panes. So maybe this was him feeling bad that he ever played a part in that??? Okay my head hurts I have to move on.
Since that moment Jensen doesn’t look okay, even when Mishalecki are bantering with the next fan, Jensen just seems sad? Sad is not the right word but he seems kind of upset
So the fan makes a small mistake in what she’s asking and Misha laughs then Jensen turns to look at him for a brief second, it’s literally for a second and Misha looks at him with his big blue eyes but Jensen looks away rather quickly. I think they can both feel the weight of the previous answer Misha gave simmering beneath the surface but they can’t talk about it atm.
Now Jared says something rather weird to me, “A man who goes to sleep with an itchy butt wakes up with a smelly hand.” (I know it’s a saying or whatever but it’s just a strange thing to say or maybe it’s just me) Jensen is nodding along to that but Misha doesn’t look amused. I think it’s an interesting thing to say when two of your best friends who play with each other’s butts are seated on stage with you. I’m not sorry I said that because it had to be said.
For a literal microsecond, Misha looks at Jensen but Jensen is looking at a fixed spot on the floor as has become norm in the last 2 minutes. Mish suppresses a smile because he knows Jensen still feels bad about earlier.
Jared says that’s why he thinks the brother’s and Cas have to die in order for the show to end and Jensen’s face is just stoic. Dude wtf??
Jensen joins in the banter and makes a joke about a man who stands on a toilet while high on pot he’s not crazy he’s just high? J2 make another joke about a man going backwards to Bangkok or something. Misha manages to laugh at those jokes.
Jared asks Misha if he has anything to add and Jensen looks at Misha smiling look at the way he’s looking at Misha. It’s like he wants to stuff him in his pocket and take him home with him.
Jensen is laughing so hard now because Misha says that the only sayings that come to mind are the only ones he doesn’t want to say.
They try to pronounce the German word and it’s hilarious AF.
So Jared makes a joke of a sound that the fan is helping them pronounce and Jensen is just done. Completely done because he looks away and scratches his beard like he wants to be anywhere but there. JFC What is going on? He was happy again.
OMG husbands whispering at each other while Jared is engaged with a fan. Gossipy Jensen. Also I’m glad whatever tension was there after the Cas question is finally gone and they are back on track again.
They are in there own little world because IDK what Misha whispered to Jensen but Jensen is unicorn laughing. Aww J
“We just said some really bad shit” I like it when Jensen curses. Now I want to know what they said because when Misha whispers it to Jared, he laughs really hard as well. Oh to be a tiny ant crawling around, listening to their whispered secrets. A girl can dream am I right?
7.33 Jared asks the fan what her “that German/Austrian word” was that morning and I am inclined to think whatever the husbands were whispering to each other had something to do with a sex-related orifice because of the way Jensen reacts.
The fan puts Jared in his place. Look at Jensen’s reaction.
He’s like you go girl.
Jensen wants to whisper something to Misha so bad but he stops himself.
Okay so Jensen says he did bicycle touring and he did take part in some of the quests. Is he talking about GISHWES because he never can pronounce that word. LOL.
So Jared interrupts Jensen starts telling his story and Jensen just shuts down just look at his face the entire time Jared is telling it.
Misha and Jared are talking about how it’s so hot on stage and Jensen is just miming to the fans how it’s not hot. I love when he does that. Naughty boy.
Misha moans and he and Jared just rush off to point the fan in their direction while Jensen just stands over the fan on his side of the stage and cools his balls off.
OMG!!!! Misha is doing the mating dance while making fiery eye contact with Jensen and sips from the bottle. Jensen heeds his husband’s call to mate and walks briskly in long manly steps to wards him and he takes the drink off his hand while looking at him like he wants to eat him [it’s called a mating dance for a reason] and inhales the drink whatever it is and it must be really strong because he looks away and says something to Jared. Misha walks away says something to Jared and goes to sit down. Jensen starts twerking his booty. Misha your man wants to mate on stage do something. Anyway Jensen pours the drink that Misha had sipped directly from the bottle in a shot glass and does the rck on sign and sips it. The entire time Mishalecki are just looking at Nesnej and laughing not understanding what is going on.
Jared sniffs the drink and says “poker face” and Jensen says “thanks Lady Gaga” IDK if this was a snide comment or just banter but now we know Jensen listens to Lady Gaga and Katy Perry (re: jib8).
This part is really funny when the fan thanks Misha for sending a recovery message to her friend but Misha says that he had no choice but to do it because the fan just held out the phone to Misha and Misha was like “oooh, heeey”
I think Jared asks Misha what happened and Misha explains because Jared folds over laughing.
Jared starts talking before Jensen can answer the question and again Jensen doesn’t look too amused. This guy keeps stealing his thunder.
Jensen manages a smile when he hears that Misha did a German accent
Misha asks Jensen if he wants some tips on accents and Jensen smiles and says no. Ouch. Sorry Mish, your man doesn’t want your help. He’d rather wing it.
Misha is not backing down and compliments Jensen by listing all the accents that Jensen can do. We love a supportive husband. Hype your man Mish.
Jensen says that he speaks French and he has a little have a tête-à-tête in français. I find it funny how Misha pretends not to know Jensen speaks French yet he just listed all the accents Jensen can do. Sure Jan. And after the French interaction which Misha adds a flair of a French accent when he talk as and , Jensen tries really hard not to smile. Someone’s excited. #accent kink ;)
Jensen says he doesn’t think Michael is going to need an accent and Misha says yes he will in French accent and Jensen is just trying really really hard not to smile.
Look at Jared’s face though he’s like dude are you seriously turned on by Misha’s weird accent right now? It’s not even funny and Jensen can’t stop smiling.
Jensen is done with Misha’s shenanigans so he just cuts him off and Misha is exasperated and Jensen proceeds to ask his question.
Fan says she would improve on Misha’s German accent and Misha gasps scandalized and even Jensen is not happy about that but he takes this moment to make fun of Misha so the comment doesn’t seem as harsh
Look at Misha’s face
and here is Jensen’s face he can’t believe someone was mean to his baby.
Anyway, in an attempt to make it less painful for his man he tries to make and joke and says, “I didn’t send that out with the insult in mind but I’m really glad that happened.”
The joke makes it worse and Misha doesn’t seem to feel better. Poor Misha.
It’s over.
Time for the closing ceremony
Jensen and Briana singing.
Misha and Adam
I love their friendship, makes me think of the possibilities that could’ve been between Cas and Mick on the show.
OMG Jensen you naught boy, yeah I see you have experience humping and spanking. Go on Rockstar we love to see it.
Even Jason Mann’s sees Jensen humping the air and Misha and Jensen turn to look at Jason. Jensen is smirking at him after what he just did. OMG.
The way Jensen is looking at Rob when Rob tries to sing the remaining verses of carry on my wayward son. Jensen you need apple juice. Jensen is me. He is insane and he is me and I love him. JENSENKIN!!!!
Why are Jensen and Misha gravitating towards each other unconsciously? Do their hearts have magnets that pull towards each other?
Speaking of them why does Jensen seem extremely tall here and Misha looks so tiny.
Am I the only one who doesn’t like the guy who played Ketch? OMG he just rubs me off the wrong way.
OMG is Jared trying to touch Jensen’s hand? Eww He touched Jensen’s arm and Jensen didn’t even look at him. This is embarrassing. Jensen hasn’t looked at him once/ HELP.
Misha and Jensen are standing the same way at the exact same time and they aren’t even looking at each other. OMG!! This is insanity.
Jensen turns to smile at Misha. Aww J
Jensen looks at Misha with a smile on his face when Daniela says they’ll be back the next year the year that gave us straddle gate and boners.
It��s over guys.
So I have come to the conclusion that something was going on between Jensen and Jared at jib 9.
See you on the next one.
Part 1
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i’ve liked kpop/actively listened to it since 2011, in fact when i started my original tumblr it was a kpop blog LMFAO. that said it’s been so wild seeing how kpop fandom has changed over the past ten years... i want to say that yes kpop fans were deranged back then too but it felt way less insane than it is now since platforms like twitter and instagram are their primary platforms (instead of wordpress, forums, livejournal, tumblr), so everything is instantaneous/real-time/artists do streaming now?? kpop artists are now super accessible to everyone which is nice because yay! spreading of good music and culture, plus higher chances for fans to actually communicate/be acknowledged by their idols. back in my day we only had cyworld/yfrog and sporadic twitter updates, we had to rip audio from youtube or shady looking album download sites, the western world would label all kpop as gay and girly because the men had “guyliner” and long hair/acted cute....
but also 🙃 i think kpop fans now truly do not have brains... an artist can tweet their condolences about another singer dying and fans just kneejerk reply OMG??!??!?!?!@?!@? HUUUUUUUH WHAT WHAT and spam fancams in response bc they literally do not have brains. they’re basically brainwashed cult members lol and it’s only exacerbated by the total commercialization of kpop (STREAM <insert shitty song by subpar group> WE NEED MORE ALBUM SALES) + social media becoming so ingrained in daily life. i will say that people with public kpop twitters/instagrams as their main social media accounts seriously have problems lol. the dedication is admirable and it’s nice that their artists have benefited their lives but seriously... it’s ok to like things a normal amount. or at least restrict it to a private account like the rest of us kpop fans who have shame......
there’s a reason i made a completely new kpop sideblog/twitter and don’t talk about it on my main social media, being a kpop fan is cringe and there’s good reason to not want to associate with any kpop likers because of how infuriatingly annoying they are. spamming/stalking/being brainwashed/being willfully ignorant of everything EXCEPT what their idol ate for breakfast that day, obviously no one with a right mind wants to get near that with a ten foot pole. it’s on a different level from admitting you like anime publicly because at least that deals with fictional characters. i hate anime fans too but they don’t comment on every single unrelated youtube video saying STAN MIKU HATSUNE/ARMY HERE 👇👇👇 LIKE MY COMMENT
(i have a personal grudge against bts likers because i moderate comments on my company’s social media and i swear to god. i want to delete every single bts comment i see)
on a side note/a totally different conversation from this, i really feel bad for kids since they grow up with social media as it is today... it’s really harmful and i could not imagine being a teenager in this day and age. there are so many teens and kids into kpop obsessed with streaming videos/putting things out there online... it’s... just... MAN...
i’ve had these thoughts swirling in my head for the last couple months ever since i re-entered public kpop fandom on twitter and tumblr. that insane™ kpop twitter post just reminded me. stans on twitter are literally INSANE and it’s terrifying/hilarious to observe but only from a safe distance imo. i followed a couple of stans for the chinese kpop idol i like but their tweets are just... SO.... WEIRD. like everyday, like clockwork, they tweet some variation of “minghao is just so special... <insert stuff like the way he looks at animals is so gentle and loving you can tell how good and wonderful he is>” every single day and it’s JUST... IT’S SO WEIRD AND UNCOMFORTABLE LOL. this is coming from someone who’s covered her wall with minghao and has his photo framed on her desk!!! if he has a scandal or something it’s fine, i can just resell all the stuff i’ve bought and move on. but these people 100% worship/are brainwashed and are not well.... stan culture is not healthy unless you’re able to acknowledge how weird it is/the parasocial nature of it all. which of course young kids/teenagers aren’t gonna be able to discern healthily ok anyways i have too many thoughts about this stuff lol
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