…

orange!

kdj trying to kill himself after seeing the OD is such a visceral and gut wrenching part of the book—

“Something was wrong. A blade… I, I needed to find a blade.” <- this scene (chapter 515) actually broke my heart, i genuinely felt sick reading it. he’s so desperate to die that it’s honestly palpable, it’s like finally seeing that truth behind the snarky mask kim dokja always wears. it took me until this point to realize that every time he tried to sacrifice himself for his companions, it wasn’t just a well thought out plan but a true, genuine suicidality and the acceptance that he might not come back. that he isn’t worthy of living a good, happy life with a happy ending. (which maybe i’m just slow, but i really fell for dokja’s lies, every single time i thought to myself “everything’s going to be fine because he has a plan to survive this,” and almost every single time i was right. except for the end i suppose.)

and fuck, it hits so, so hard.

I think it's so interesting to think about the unique social implications of things on the islands. Like, the animal hats & how they originally existed for the practical purpose of protection & they kept wearing them even after that wasn't a factor anymore. & how the hats we see in the present day (when Finn & co visit the islands) don't really resemble animal hats, do they? & maybe that's just to make the significant human characters (who do still wear animal hats) seem more distinct but you best believe I'm going to make it into something bigger. Oh I'm so bad at putting my thoughts into words but it's something how the hats evolved into a new meaning. & when robo susan rips friedas hat off its like a very violating moment. Something something hats, the lack thereof, vulnerability. I don't know. Sorry. I was going somewhere with this but I don't know how to explain it. You get it though. Hats are interesting.

I like to think that (when everyone got sick and lots of them died and the rest moved to a new island) there was a bunch of small shifts & the animal -> abstract hats was one of them. And Frieda still wearing her dog hat shows her still holding onto the past in some way. There we go, that's something. This isn't a total nothing post after all

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog has taken over my brain so here’s some redraws of (a few) of my favorite sprites!!! :D :D 

anyways *me ignoring my stannic attack* speaking of tkak ( the delicious uncle nina tsot toxic yuri ) i'm conflicted bc writing it in the old english is kind of impossible to read...but having stas say shit like "gwendolyn, your frock looks rather fetching, particularly the bodice Not That I Was Looking Upon It!" and "alas boys! i am ruined! fetch me the mead so that i may drown my eternal sorrows in it before i throw this cruel wretched form from the bell tower" and "butters you are true ally and kinsman! tucker...may your next meal contain many Poisons" IS SO FUCKIN FUNNY THAT I MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE TO

about to do something drastic (going to assert my boundaries instead of bottling things up until they fester beyond belief)

Yall got asks? :]

the last month for me has been the biggest hot mess of -have an existential crisis- -overwork yourself- -have no hope- -find therapist- -feel hopeful- -try to move- -feel hopeful- -lose house- -faith crisis- -quits job- -feels hopeful- -dog has cancer- -depression- -signs new lease- -feels hopeful- -moving stress- -dog dies-

feel free to reblog!

ANCESTRY

It's circa Paldea 2000 years ago and you're one of the strongest Pokemon wielders in the empire. You alongside three other wielders go up to the task of containing the four Treasures of Ruin that your stinky greedy emperor released into the world and if you dont do somethin about it it's going to be more then Paldea's problem.

Taria is Geeta's far off ancestor and one of the four ancient pokemon wielders said in history to have contained one of the perils that brought about the ruin of the first empires.

She alongside her Gardevoir and Galade sealed away Ting-Lu, an arduous eight battles with eight ominous stakes to contain it safetly.

She alongside the three others are actually the earliest forms of an Elite Four in Paldea, bearing the compass symbol to mark only the strongest and most willing to do whatever they can in the name of their region.

Flash forward 2000 years and Geeta still stands in the Elite Four as it's current top-Champion. She shares a lot of similar features with her ancestor including the long midnight hair speckled with gold and silver, skin palette, quite a strong sense of justice and the same centering technique; a finger posing around the brows.

Though her choice in partners is the Ceruledge/Armarouge duo.

Geeta actually doesn't know her ancestry that far back into the past, but the similarities are striking when comparing the two.

Give us the rant my liege

(tagging @vulpinesaint because they wanted to see this as well)

ok this is. gonna get long. and im not gonna be holding anything back. and as someone who suffers from chronic Too Nice disease i need to put that disclaimer beforehand with the additional disclaimer that these are all just my opinions that have been largely brought about by my own personal experiences so im not speaking for the entire community when i give this rant.

now with all that out of the way. let me welcome you to the land of aroace WRATH

the first thing i want to say is that most of the things I'm angry abt in fandom's general treatment/views of aro/ace people are actually extensions of the general societal views toward sex and romance as a whole. I'll go more in depth as we go but I'm choosing to focus more on the fandom side of things for now since it's a lot easier to be angry at something so trivial compared to the entire (western) society that's structured against people like me.

one of the biggest things I've seen a lot in fandom/creator spaces is the urge to give every character a romantic relationship that's more "powerful" or "deep" than platonic/familial relationships. this is of course an extension of amanormativity in society as a whole, because the belief that romance is the Goal (tm) is so deeply set into society that it's taken me years of introspection and research to come to terms and find joy in my aromanticism. but it's the concept of characters not being able to be happy, or find fulfillment, or being lonely for the rest of their lives because they don't have a romantic partner. and I wish I could say queers in fandom were generally more accepting of the idea of characters never finding (or even wanting) romance but that's so far from the case because often it's queer people who are pushing this idea of romance and marriage being the Goal.

and with all the above in mind, aro/ace representation is really hard to find. I can probably count the canon aro/ace characters in any media I've ever consumed on one hand (which ofc doesn't say much about the whole scope of aro/ace rep because that's just from what I've seen/read and there's probably more out there that I've never gotten to). and the thing that really upsets me in particular is how, even in the rare instances where we do get representation, fandom collectively ignores it to shove the character into romantic/sexual relationships in fanworks. like. y'all have literally every single character to ship around with and yet y'all also take the one win we have too. smh. and then my Personal Favorite thing (/s) is when someone points out the erasure, allos' go-to thing to say is "well, ace people can still have sex! aro people can still be in relationships!!" y'all are missing the point.

I also can't think of any media I've ever seen where it's unapologetically aro/ace ?? there are quite a few pieces of media that are explicitly, unapologetically queer that I hold sooo close to my chest, but there's nothing for aro/aces outside of like. children's shows. where the romance is minor enough that it can be ignored. and not to be dramatic but I would kill a man for a piece of adult aro/ace media that actually showed the joys and connections within the communities. even media with queer representation tends to lean into the "sex/romance is what makes us human" thing, which I can't even fault the creators for because that's what society as a whole--even queer society--says, too. and of course it's unfair to hold queer media to a higher standard than normal, and that's not what I'm trying to do. it's just. even when I'm watching/reading something meant for queer people, it's still not entirely for me, yknow?? and I think I can feel disappointed about that and also not hold queer media up to a ridiculous standard.

which brings me to more of the irl shit ig !! for all the anger against people saying that aros will be alone their whole lives, there's also some truth to that, but not in the way you'd initially think. I'm not lonely because I want a girlfriend and I'm sad because I don't. I'm lonely because my whole family is going to get married. all my siblings. all my friends. they're all going to find a romantic partner, and/or a marriage, and as "just" a friend, I'm suddenly not as important as their partner. there's this idea that marriages/romantic partnerships always have to come before hobbies, careers, friends, and anything else. and if someone prioritizes something else over romance, they're "selfish." there's also this idea that breakups can only happen if one side of the partnership did something wrong. that sometimes a relationship just isn't working, or they're just not compatible (and neither side is at fault for that.) and this idea of romance and marriage being The Most Important Thing Ever is what makes me lonelier than anything. because even as a kid in school, I lost friends because they got a boyfriend and girlfriend and suddenly that was more important than anything else. including me. and as more and more of my friends and siblings get married, it's only going to get worse because I'm not as important to them anymore. and that's something I'm gonna have to deal with, even though I love being aro and there's nothing I would rather be.

dominic and Elias lore bitte?

uhh. they barely have any tbh, im just juggling various ideas around at once and trying to figure out what sticks ((its really bad i dont have anything written down in the first place))

BUT so far the thing that has stayed around the longest is basically the whole master and dog dynamic + royalty and the knight mushed together into one (but if you think about it, those are one and the same)

if you give me [REDACTED AMOUNT] business days i could probably cook something up, but so far? sorry </3

i rly want to be more physically affectionate with people- like i always wanna pat people on the shoulder or give hugs like i see my other coworkers do but im scared bc im worried people will think im creepy- which i know is just the anxiety and insecurity talking. or im scared if i do it to a Straight Man theyll freak out (which again has never happened) i mentioned this to one of my coworkers and he started hugging me when he sees me now which is so sweet omg

image of me trying my hardest not to make donbot shorter than he actually is cause i think itd be funny

me, 12 AM: okay gotta sleep for school now

brain: yeah okay.

brain, 3 AM: hey good morning. that was enough sleep right?