Cale and Impostor Syndrome

From discord, sent by @Jalffy22's dad, who apparently used Chatgpt… to diagnose Cale with Impostor Syndrome?? As well as my own thoughts on analysis on it.

Cale Henituse is a character from the popular Korean web novel series "Trash of the Count's Family" written by Yoo Ryeo Han. Impostor syndrome can be explained in the context of Cale Henituse and his journey within the story. Cale Henituse, as a character, experiences various aspects of Impostor Syndrome: Comparing Himself to Others: Throughout the story, Cale Henituse often finds himself comparing his abilities to those of other characters, especially his closest allies and mentors. This self-comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, especially when he believes he falls short in comparison to powerful figures like Alberu Crossman or Raon Miru. Downplaying His Achievements: Despite his significant accomplishments, Cale often downplays his own achievements. He might attribute his successes to luck or the help of others, rather than acknowledging his own talents and efforts. Fear of Being Unmasked: Cale's reluctance to reveal his true identity as the "Trash of the Count's Family" can be seen as a manifestation of impostor syndrome. He fears being exposed as a fraud, even though he consistently takes on important roles and responsibilities within the story. Reluctance to Seek Help: Cale often hesitates to seek assistance or advice from others, even when he faces challenging situations. This hesitancy may stem from a belief that he should be able to handle everything on his own, contributing to his impostor syndrome. Setting Unrealistic Standards: Cale frequently sets high and often unrealistic standards for himself, striving for perfection in his decisions and actions. This tendency can lead to stress and burnout as he constantly pushes himself to be better. In the context of Cale Henituse and his experiences, here's how you can relate impostor syndrome to your passion for "Trash of the Count's Family" or to your own experiences: Recognize Your Achievements: Just as Cale should acknowledge his accomplishments, you should recognize and celebrate your own successes and contributions in your passion. Understand that your engagement and dedication are valuable. Embrace Learning: Accept that it's okay not to know everything about the story or the characters. "Trash of the Count's Family" is filled with intricate plotlines and characters, and it's natural to learn and grow along the way. Seek Support: Connect with other fans of the series who share your passion. Engaging with fellow enthusiasts can help you gain a deeper understanding of the story and characters, and it can provide valuable support. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. It's perfectly normal to have limitations and areas where you may not have all the answers or insights. Self-compassion can go a long way in alleviating feelings of impostor syndrome. Set Realistic Goals: Define achievable goals within your passion that align with your knowledge and interests. This will help you enjoy your journey while gradually building your expertise. Remember that impostor syndrome can affect anyone, even fictional characters like Cale Henituse. By recognizing your own worth and embracing your passion for "Trash of the Count's Family," you can overcome impostor syndrome and fully enjoy your involvement in the fandom.

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Now, with the AI stuff out of the way… (Man it really feels like reading a medical textbook doesn't it? You can tell it was written by an AI…) Let's discuss what our dear AI told us about Impostor Syndrome, and how Cale is overcoming it throughout the story.

That aspect can be easily overlooked, even though Cale clearly experiences character growth as time goes on. Sure, it's snail-paced and it can be frustrating at times – but you can blame it all on the trauma. A 36-year-old man with a list of traumas long enough to fill a restaurant menu sure deserves to be given some slack for being a bit slow on the "healing" process.

Comparing Himself to Others vs Embracing Learning

Unlike what AI stated, Cale really doesn't compare himself to others all that much – at least not directly.

Cale is not the type to say, "I am a much worse person than Choi Han." Cale is the type to say, "My past is nothing interesting to talk about, really. Now Choi Han, he's such an admirable guy. He managed to stay a good guy despite all the hardships he suffered through. Might have been that good family influence he got in his childhood." Now, unless we know the information that Cale is ommitting here – the abuse at the hands of his uncle and a terrible childhood overall – we wouldn't know that by all this, Cale is actually saying "Choi Han is a better person than me, might have been because he was raised right and I wasn't." Thing is, I don't believe even Cale himself realizes that's what he's doing. He would probably deny it, if someone tried to confront him about him.

It is true, however, that Cale often insults himself, while praising others at the same time, in quite the hypocritical fashion. If Cale saves someone, he's doing it "because of self-serving reasons". If someone else saves someone, in his eyes, they're a good person. You can clearly see the pattern here.

However, the "embracing learning" comes in where Cale starts raising children, and they pick up his mannerisms and behaviour. Most of the time, Cale stays completely oblivious to his own influence. "Where did they learn that?" he asks, hilariously, while it's extremely obvious to the readers exactly where they learned it: YOU, CALE!!!

But Cale learns. He watches his children grow, he watches his allies grow, and he feels proud. He's accepting his role in their life as someone they deeply care about. Someone they wish to protect. He starts avoiding injuries for their sake. And sure, he still has those dumb moments of "Well I didn't even cough blood this time, do I really deserves this reward?", it doesn't change the fact that he's getting better at this. At being appreciated. …Worshipped? Heck no, he'll run as fast as he can in the opposite way. Appreciated by his family? He's getting better. Where he used to deny the kids head pats in the beginning, now he pets them all the time. He eats Raon's apple pie not just out of hunger, but because it's from his son, and it makes him feel better because of the connection. Slowly, he's leaving self-deprecation behind and embrances his family. It's incredibly heartwarming and sweet to watch 💖

Downplaying His Achievements vs Recognizing His Achievements

Yet another snail-paced progress we can observe, but it does exist nonetheless. Cale downplays his achievements mostly as a self-defense machenism. Taking that much responsibility on himself is SCARY. He said so himself right at the start of the novel: "Kim Rok Soo knew that the responsiblity for the lives of people is a very scary thing". …Funny how he keeps taking the initiative then, isn't it?? But despite all his denial, Cale isn't stupid. He knows exactly how much his actions changed the world; the scale of it is frightening. Nevertheless, he dismisses it all for the sake of his dream – becoming a slacker. He does not want the fame of a hero who saved everyone. He wants to rest!!! But, yet again, his family enters the picture here. Cale doesn't need to be the hero for them to love him. They are grateful for all he has done for them, but it's not a fanatical worship; it's love, thankfulness, appreciation. By the end of Part 1, Cale admits to Alberu and Eruhaben's faces that "he finally starts considering his own life a bit precious". That is a very big moment! It might seem like the lightest of concessions, but it's a huge step for someone like Cale!! See, he's growing!!! 👏

Fear of Being Unmasked vs Practicing Self-Compassion

Best example I can think of is when Cale's identity as Kim Rok Soo is revealed to Choi Han, and later on Raon and even Alberu. Cale did fear his identity being exposed, and for a good reason. You'd think that Choi Han being Korean himself would make things easier – but actually, it would only make things harder. Choi Han doesn't come from the same Korea as Kim Rok Soo. A lot has changed since he was on Earth. Cale revealing the monster apocalypse would involve a lot of vunerability. He also valued Choi Han's good opinion greaty, I think. Cale read the story of him and concluded that Choi Han was a "good guy". He respects him. No matter what he claims, Cale doesn't want Choi Han to think badly of him. In the Indignity Test, there was a moment where Cale reflected how much he did not want to get by the younger Choi Han or Raon – not because of the physical pain, but because of the emotional pain involved. He would feel incredibly shamed if Choi Han or Raon hated him. Because he cares about them both. So. Much.

And then, there's the Alberu reveal. It's surprisingly sincere. Alberu offers Cale the chance to explain himself, and promises to listen to everything without judgement. Cale is visibly shaken by the promise, but he believes him. It was such a precious scene!! That's where the self-compassion comes in. Cale is learning to be a bit kinder on himself than in the past. He's starting to trust his allies with vulnerability. When Cale uses Instant, he tells Raon how he's someone who can never forget and asks him to "not be like him". Because Cale's life is full of sacrifice and suffering, and he doesn't WANT others to be like him. But after that incident, he promises Raon to avoid hurting himself as much as possible when he captures the White Star with Embrace. His self-care is directly linked to his compassion towards his family, but it's there! It exists! Way to go, Cale!! 👏 (…Just don't stab yourself again, lol. I get that it was special circumstances, but still.)

Reluctance to Seek Help vs Seeking Support

Cale is such a paradox in this aspect. On one hand, he's a strategist – asking for help is his JOB. He wouldn't be able to achieve all he has if he never requested help. He asks people to do tasks for him all the time. On the other hand… whenever things go wrong, he's the one to handle the repercussions. Cale is the one to make the sacrifice whenever something unexpected happens.

For Cale, this is such a delicate balance. He wants to make sure everyone is always safe. He never allows them to face mortal danger without making a plan to let them all survive it. The time in the Empire, when the White Star used the Sky Attribute for the first time, Cale yells at everyone to run while he himself rushes towards danger. While it's very hypocritical, it's directily linked to his sense of responsibility for others. On the other hand, once everyone refuses to leave, we can see how excellent their teamwork is. And who taught them that?? Cale, of course!

It isn't that Cale doesn't ask for help. It's that whenever the scales tip and his group is in danger, he will do anything to light up their weight by taking it on his own shoulders. And like I said – it's an extremely delicate balance to walk. Like spider silk thin rope. One wrong step, and Cale could fall. Still… I think Cale is gaining experience in this as well, and so are his allies. They get stronger, and they understand Cale better. They're able to handle dangers without him being involved. It's a positive direction to grow for all of them, even if Cale is constantly unlucky enough to get himself into trouble like this… over and over and over 😅

Setting Unrealistic Standards vs Realistic Goals

Cale has one of the most simple, yet the most unrealistic dream ever imaginable. "To be a slacker". Which, if taken literally, would be the easiest thing. Just sit around, enjoy your wealth and do no work. Simple, right?

…Except, Cale's version of "slacker life" involves making sure the ENTIRE FREAKING UNIVERSE IS AT PEACE. 🤣🤣🤣 "So that no one bothers him or his family." That's… a bit difficult, isn't it??

So, Cale's dream is completely unrealistic, yet with the speed he's going at it, he might actually achieve it. Way to go, you madlad. Respect!!

However, with the help of Lee Soo Hyuk, aka. Sui Khan, Cale has another goal. Which is much more down-to-earth. Creating a farm in the Forest of Darkness. And tending to it with his family. That's… such a sweet ambition. I really hope they can make it. No – I'm sure they will, eventually. One of the "glimpses of the future" we got in the story was the fact that On and Hong's red mist would sometimes linger around the Forest of Darkness, as a sign of the Molan family's legacy. So the kittens will definitely live there in the future, and naturally, so will Cale. Personally, I can't wait 😁

…So yeah, that's all I got to say about Cale's Impostor Syndrome. Got any more thoughts on it? Let me know!

AI is becoming more and more important. It promises to make things more efficient, safe, and help us make better decisions. But sometimes people see AI as something bad or evil. Why?

I’ve been working in the AI field for 10 years.

Ethics. When AI makes decisions without human control, it raises questions about who's responsible if something goes wrong. If a self-driving car has an accident or a financial AI system causes a stock market crash, who should be blamed? This lack of clear rules makes people worry about AI's role in society.

Another concern is that it can be misused. There are worries about autonomous weapons or surveillance systems that invade our privacy. AI can also have biases that lead to unfairness and discrimination. These things can lead peeps to think that AI is a force that can harm us. (It is, but…)

Another reason is fear of the unknown. People are often scared of things they don't understand, and AI can be really complex. As AI becomes more advanced, it's harder for even the people who create it to understand everything about how it makes decisions. This makes some people worry that AI could become uncontrollable or have goals that are different from ours.

Idk the answers to this, just expressing thoughts.

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ESSAY: Everything Wrong or Bad About Humans Tends to be Transferred to AI

ESSAY: Everything Wrong or Bad About Humans Tends to be Transferred to AI (Artificial Intelligence) I. Introduction Definition of AI and its Role in Society The Notion of Negative Human Traits Being Transferred to AI II. Human Flaws Reflected in AI Bias and Discrimination Preexisting Biases in Training Data Unintentional Reinforcement of Societal Prejudices Ethical Concerns Lack of…

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look i understand that ai generated content is a controversial topic, and ultimately protecting artists' intellectual property should take moral priority, but i feel like when people say "you don't want character.ai you want to rp with someone" they're kinda missing the point because unlike a chatbot, you can't exactly look your rp partner in the eye and say "that sucked ass. do that again"

It was nice while it lasted

i got ANOTHER FUCKING CHATGPT ESSAY

I feel like it bears repeating on like a daily basis, but I do unironically think Nirvana Initiative is like. Demonstrably superior in craft and meaning than the first AI: The Somnium Files. Like I'm not doing a bit on this blog or anything I just actually think AINI is that good and deserves the world. This is the hill upon which I will die, I'm right, fuck you.

Should we keep using AI art?

When I first learned that people had programmed computers to make art, my only thought was that it was an impressive accomplishment – a milestone of human technological progress. And to be honest, I didn’t give it much more consideration beyond that. I didn’t even spend much time playing around with any of the programs available for free. 

The criticism I saw at first felt very reactionary and alarmist. Frankly, it sounded a lot like the arguments people have had about any art media going from analogue to digital. Some of it was astoundingly ableist, the implication being that people who see AI art generators as a way to finally be able to make art are just lazy and unwilling to put in the work to get good. A lot more of it came off as snobbish and elitist. I don’t like wading into conversations about what is and isn’t art. Different things resonate with different people, and I’m not interested in gatekeeping creative expression.

While I dismissed those kinds of critiques of AI art, I think it is becoming hard to ignore that there are more pressing criticisms of the technology. They just have a lot less to do with the art itself and everything to how the technology has been developed, and who is benefiting from it.

A look below the surface of AI art

Machine learning has proven to be a powerful tool when it comes to advancing technology. The thing is, for machine learning to work, you need to provide hundreds of thousands of data points. We participate in machine learning every time we look anything up using a search engine. The keywords we enter, the links we click on, how long we interact with a page, are all used to help search algorithms become more effective. 

AI art generators are also dependent on machine learning. It might be naive, but I’m going to assume the original intention was to only use works of art in the public domain to train the AI. While there is no way for the artists to predict that their art would be used in this way, at this point, no one owns their intellectual property anymore. I think there is an argument for the transformative nature of AI art somewhere in there. Regardless, it is hard to say that this would harm anyone.

Now, I’m assuming things started to get murky when it came to automating the process of finding, downloading, and inputting data to train the AI. It would take an unreasonable amount of time to do this without taking into account identifying the artists and getting their consent.

One solution was to allow users to help train the AIs. Many hands make light work, after all. Of course, there’s no one moderating who is uploading what, which invariable means it’s been a total free-for-all. It’s clear that a lot of users aren’t bothering to get consent from the creators of the work they’re uploading. More troublesome are the instances of artists who’ve explicitly denied permission for their art to be used this way, and people doing so anyway. I couldn’t say if it occurred to anyone that some artists might mind having their art used in this way, or if they just didn’t care. I don’t know if intent matters at this point. 

Ever since it became possible to upload images online, art theft has been a problem. This has always been the double-edged sword of a free and open internet. What’s more pernicious about using art theft to train AI, is that once something becomes a data set, there is no extricating it from the system. Sort of like you can’t remove a specific sheep’s wool from the sweater you’re already wearing.

Does this mean the technology is unethical?

There is a simple answer and a more complex answer. Technology in a vacuum cannot be inherently ethical or unethical. It’s the human component that introduces ethical value. We do this in two ways: either in how we create/develop technology, or in how that technology is used. Without humans to create and use technology, it is affectively an inert lump.

That being said, AI art generators are clearly unethical because they were developed on a foundation of art theft. (And, some might argue, designed to replace human artists to fill the ever-growing demand for “content”.) While some have tried to deny that art theft is a component of AI art, the situation over on Artstation has made it clear that unethical practices are ongoing. It is clear that there exists no safeguards to prevent users from inputting art they have no ownership over.

The problem is bigger than AI art generators

When you place AI art generators within the context of Silicone Valley and tech startup culture, it’s not in the least bit shocking that the technology has turned out to be pretty problematic. This is far from the first time that an idealistic technology has ended up having pretty big, negative social consequences. The problems in Big Tech, I think, boil down to who is in the room making the decisions about direction, functionality, and implementation.

Firstly, diversity and the lack thereof, has never not been an issue in Silicone Valley, and by extension, Big Tech. You can find the stats in this report from the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. The bottom line is that the tech industry skews disproportionately white and male, even more so at the executive level. While the report doesn’t touch on class, we can assume it becomes a factor in who has the ability to amass the necessary venture capital for their startups, which also impacts the kind of perspectives in the room.

Secondly, there is no requirement in IT career development that people be taught ethics, or even just how to self-identify and correct for bias. Without a grounding in ethics, no one is having the very important conversations about the impact of technology on vulnerable populations until it becomes an optics problem. In fact, I’d be willing to wager that most of the time, it doesn’t even occur to question whether a technology should be made at all.

These two problems compound, which results in a seeming inability to predict the social harms of the technology being created. There have been too many instances of hard-coded racial bias in the technology we are becoming more and more reliant on. And until we address both of these issues, that’s not going to change.

Can AI art be salvaged?

What would it take to salvage AI art generators? Probably starting over from scratch and implementing rigorous safeguards to ensure that nothing can be used to train the AI without vetting and obtaining fully informed consent from creators. Do I think that’s going to happen? Probably not.

The sunk-cost fallacy comes into play here. Building any kind of AI is a very expensive and labour intensive venture. It’s a huge ask to get people to dump all that in the garbage and start over completely from scratch.

More over, and this is where my cynicism comes out, there are always going to be people who believe that all means are justified in the name of human progress – even if that means eradicating the human component altogether. And that’s not something I see society evolving past any time soon.

It’s like something out of a novel…

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced AI art is truly Cyberpunk. Not because it’s so high-tech and futuristic, but because it exploits the labour of generations in order to remove the human element of something that is a fundamental aspect of humanity. All so that people, but mainly companies, can benefit monetarily. I’d say that AI art fits in very well in a genre defined by its dehumanizing, high-tech future, don’t you?