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cb97percent · 2 days

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Aphrodisiacs · 「Shh」

➥ Established relationship — 1k

➥ The author chooses not to issue tags for everything that takes place in this work to preserve some element of surprise where applicable. By continuing, you accept to proceed at your own risk. Read full disclaimer here.

⚠ — Domestic free use.

➥ Your boyfriend’s sex drive is questionably high as it is, but it goes haywire under certain circumstances.

Everybody has a kryptonite when it comes to their partner—for some, it’s something physical, for others, it’s a personality trait.

For Minho, on the other hand, it was something he just couldn’t quite explain.

He had always been proud of his girl, and rightfully so, but for some reason, his ferality levels went Chernobyl-level radioactive every time he witnessed you in any business context doing your thing. So much so that he owned up to it as a massive kink of his own.

It was the early AM hours that morning as you were picking out a fit for the day. You saw Minho emerge from under the sheets in the mirror on the wardrobe, and your eyes met in the reflection.

“Sorry, baby, did I wake you up?” you gave a quick kiss on the crown of his head, “Go back to sleep, okay? I’ll try to be quiet.”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” he placed his hands under his nape and started watching you change like you were his personal camgirl. You giggled, but he was dead serious, eyefucking in progress as you stripped.

Minho already had a raging hard on courtesy of whatever the fuck happened during his sleep, and watching you clad yourself in clothes was turning him on even more. For no reason. Just because of the fact that you were putting on a fucking suit. His eyes followed you as you were about to leave the room, extremely focused on how your ass moved in your high-waist slacks.

“I love you,” you blew a kiss with a smile and left to make some coffee.

It was supposed to be Minho’s day off, but he decided not to waste several hours sleeping in. Maybe he could go for a run or something, go over certain practice videos, perhaps even draft new choreography in his head. He put his shorts on and headed to the bathroom to freshen up.

When he appeared in the kitchen afterwards, he actually had no ulterior motives. Honest. All he wanted to do was join you for some coffee as your phone rang.

“Hey, Chris!” you chirped into your receiver, “Yeah, sure, I have some time. What’s up?”

But he found you bent over to get something from the fridge instead. He could literally hear a voice in his head urgently repeating ‘Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it,’ but…

You looking like that? With that ass?

He needed his fix. Right fucking now.

“Didn’t we put that in last month’s reports though?”

He sneakily approached you from the back and hugged your waist while you were pouring water into the coffee machine. You felt his little kisses on your neck, and thinking it was just a display of affection, you turned around and smiled at him warmly, even stealing a kiss from his lips for yourself.

“Marketing’s being a real bitch about it, huh?”

The light scent of your perfume tickling his nose was making him feel things. He licked his lips as his large hands groped your hips, and when you turned around with a look that asked ‘What are you doing?’, he gestured you to keep going as if everything was peachy and turned you towards the counter again, promptly proceeding to slide your pants down your ass.

“Well, did you look in our shared DRIVE?!”

Then he shoved himself into you without prior notice. The only lubrication he had was the saliva he smeared on his cock. It was one of his biggest turn ons, and he’d be damned if he didn’t get you wet while fucking you. He pressed his index finger on his lips telling you to keep quiet and began with his ruthlessly hard thrusts.

“I’m– I’m fine. I just– I almost dropped a glass,” you nervously chuckled into the phone.

“Yeah, keep talking,” Minho inaudibly whispered behind you while pounding into you relentlessly, “Get all boss lady on me, come on.”

It was quite the challenge to keep yourself composed with everything going down so fast. You were sighing, and he was getting even bigger inside you.

“Mhm, it sh– should be there.”

With one quick move, he undid your hair, grabbed a fistful, and pulled on it to expose your neck. It was so fucking biteable that it would be a shame to leave it unmarked. Then he shoved his fingers in your mouth to get them wet to work your pussy.

“I haven’t had my morning coffee YET!” you tried to explain yourself to the other end of the line in fluctuating decibels, “S–search for August sales.”

He knew it wasn’t enough. You needed much more slippery lubrication, didn’t you? He collected as much saliva on his fingers as he could and started going to town on your clit. You were feeling way too good, and your brain was going fuzzy.

“YES! That’s the folder!” you bit inside your cheek, and spoke as quickly as you could, “Listen, I gotta go now. I’ll touch base later.”

The second you hung up, Minho harshly turned you around and wrapped one leg around his waist.

“You’re driving me fucking insane,” he dove into your lips headfirst.

He loved seeing you all disheveled like this, hair in disarray, eyes rolling back, moaning his name, yet still trying to hold power. You didn’t need to tell him; of course he was going to make you cum and he was going to make you cum hard.

That was the only thing boss ladies deserved. S-Class treatment.

“MINHO!!!”

“That’s it, let it go. Let it go,” he soothed you as you came all over his cock. You rode out your orgasm on his lips, kissing sloppily and your moans quieting down in each other’s mouths.

“Come shower with me, baby,” he tugged on your shirt once you came to your senses, still kissing into your fucked out smile.

“The fuck’s gotten into you this morning?” you threw your arms around his neck.

“It’s not news that you get me horny as fuck. Call in sick today, ask to work remotely,” he placed a quick peck on your lips, “We’re gonna fuck in the shower again, then I’m gonna eat your creampied pussy during your morning meeting. How does that sound?”

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Admit it, you melted just a little bit.

✉ Enjoyed this? It would be cool of you to reblog so that my work can reach more people.

#lee know smut #lee know x reader #lee know x y/n #lee know x you #lee know scenarios #lee know imagines #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #skz smut #skz x reader #skz x y/n #skz x you #skz scenarios #skz imagines

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mumms-the-word · 3 days

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Illithid Souls - Part 2

The Case Studies: Tav/Durge and Orpheus

In Part 1, I went over some of the basics of what a soul normally is, where souls go after death, and whether mind flayers have souls. I ultimately ended up saying that most humanoids have apostolic souls (souls that deities recognize as being capable of divine worship), while mind flayers have some other kind of soul, one that isn't recognizable by deities or devils. This is why Jergal and Mystra and so on think that illithid don’t have souls. When a humanoid with an apostolic soul turns into a mind flayer, their soul is either ejected and moves on to the Fugue Plane, or their soul is transformed into a non-apostolic soul (depending on what you want to believe).

But the problem is, that's normal lore, and BG3 has made things a little strange by imbuing all the tadpoles that infect our characters with Netherese magic. And that, friends, makes the BG3 mind flayers different.

This post is going to look at some interesting context from the game for the Emperor, Tav/Durge and Orpheus. (It got pretty long so I'm moving Karlach and Gale to a third post.) We're going to figure out whether the rules about mind flayers and souls change now that there's Netherese magic involved. The ultimate answer is yes, but how? And is it consistent?

(Spoiler: it isn't, but you can use this lore to come up with your own theories and ideas)

Let's take another deep dive! Buckle up, and don't worry, I have a short summary at the bottom.

The Case of the Emperor

I'm actually not going to linger too long on the Emperor because for many reasons he breaks the lore. If he's Balduran and a mind flayer, he shouldn't have lived as long as he says he's lived. Not only that, his memory is allegedly flawless when the lore states he shouldn't remember any of his previous life (there are other inconsistencies too, but that's a different post). However, I do want to touch on a couple of things.

The Emperor both is and isn't our baseline for how a mind flayer normally exists. He should be a normal lore-accurate mind flayer (though a rogue one), because he wasn't infected with a Netherese-touched tadpole. But he's a Special Mind Flayer instead, for reasons we don't entirely understand (again, he generally breaks the lore). Perhaps this is because of his brush with Gortash and the other Chosen of the Dead Three, or perhaps he just somehow has a strong enough personality that when he broke free of an elder brain's compulsion a lot of his memories came back to him. Who knows?

But regardless, a few conversations with him reinforce the idea that mind flayers typically aren't completely soulless. At the very least, they still contain memories (he has his memories of his time as Balduran), intelligence (he's a schemer, that's for sure), and personality/emotions:

Emperor: You think that mind flayers are soulless husks who feel nothing. Belynne thought the same at first. You are wrong. Feeling is vital to the pursuit of anyone's goals. Even a mind flayer's. Like you, mind flayers know fear. Like you, we crave recognition. But unlike you, unlike the others of my kind, I am no slave to either. My end is and has always been freedom.

We can quibble about whether or not he's manipulating the player here, but his words are generally true. As discussed in part 1, mind flayers are not soulless husks. When they're enthralled, they might be more devoid of independent thinking, but they have emotions/feelings and can create memories. They just might have a smaller range of emotion than humanoids do (thus his reference to "not being a slave" to fear or desire) and their memories might not be entirely their own (more on that with Karlach in part 3).

Regardless, the Emperor is our leading authority for what it's like to be a mind flayer, so we're sort of forced to trust him when we ask him to explain what full ceremorphosis is about to do to us, especially because its his Supreme Tadpole that is about to change us.

Player: What would happen to me? Emperor: You would be altered in mind, body, and soul beyond all recognition.

So this is interesting. Altered in mind and body, that's a given. Altered in soul, though...what does that mean?

Remember in Part 1 where I offered two theories about what happens to the original soul of someone undergoing ceremorphosis? Theory 1: they just die and the soul moves on to the Fugue Plane, and the mind flayer gets a new illithid soul from...somewhere. Theory 2: The soul transforms and remains tethered to the mind flayer body, different than it was before (potentially unrecognizable as the original soul, but some elements of the original may remain).

The Emperor's words suggest more of theory 2 here. But is that, in fact, what happens when we become illithid? Well...let's find out.

The Case of Tav and Durge (or most Origin runs)

When you do turn into a mind flayer, the narrative typically focuses on how powerful you feel. Your mind and body feel as though they are one and you are also desperately hungry. There isn't much in the Narrator's dialogue or your dialogue with your friends to suggest that your soul has been completely obliterated, though.

In fact, there's an interesting moment that happens if you turn into a mind flayer without the Emperor there and go up to Orpheus still in his cage. The way I accomplished this was to ask to change into a mind flayer so the Emperor would give me the Supreme Tadpole, then I said I would change later, then stopped the Emperor from consuming Orpheus so he would leave. Then I used the Supreme Tadpole to turn into a mind flayer and went to examine Orpheus.

Narrator: *His eyes are unseeing, his voice silenced. But even with his mind caged, you can feel his power. You can almost taste the fluid beneath his scalp, cushioning that sweet, dense brain, and the power within it. You are hungry.* Lae'zel: I see that look, I know that look. Don't you dare. Player: [Wisdom Check] Cling to your former nature. Quash your hunger. This is not who you are. Narrator: *Your mind and body whine with disappointment. But your soul lets out a gentle thrum of relief.*

I find this fascinating for a couple of reasons. One, the check I chose (there are two, the second is a strength check) meant reaching out to a "former" nature and reminding myself (or my Tav's self) that this is not who she is. When I succeeded, my Tav's mind and body protested, but her soul was filled with relief.

So she has a soul! And it seems to be her own soul, but perhaps transformed. So this sort of supports theory 2, that perhaps when humanoids turn into mind flayers, their soul is altered. This could also just be a quirk specific to those infected with a Netherese tadpole, or even further, someone who transformed using the Emperor's Supreme Tadpole.

Because here's the thing. When Tav/Durge, Orpheus, Companion!Karlach, or any Origin character transforms into a mind flayer using the Supreme Tadpole, they become a special mind flayer. This is mostly due to the Netherese magic, which adds some weird and undefined changes to the whole mind flayer thing. I'm going to use "I guess it's the Netherese magic/Supreme Tadpole" as a scapegoat this entire post because I don't know what else to point to to explain how these guys are just Different Than Your Average Mind Flayer, so be prepared for that. But at the very least, we know something's different.

In fact the Narrator literally says you're probably different than the average mind flayer after you defeat the Netherbrain!

Narrator: *You are a mind flayer, the very thing you sought to eradicate. Whatever self you still possess is quickly ebbing away. Your friends and enemies alike are ripe for manipulation, and if not manipulation, then consumption. Soon you will be able to trust yourself at all. You will be a monstrosity beyond redemption. Or not. Perhaps you are unique among illithid-kind. Perhaps you will retain enough of who you are to resist your nature. A rogue mind flayer. Like the Emperor. The risk is certainly yours to take - will you?*

Unlike normal mind flayers who lose most of their memories (and allegedly most of their personality/former selves) almost immediately after transforming, it takes Tav/Durge/most Origins longer to lose that sense of self, if indeed they lose it at all. The Narrator suggests we might be losing parts of ourselves, but there's a chance we're unique and might retain our sense of selves.

We do see glimpses of us retaining our personalities in the epilogue of course, but what is more interesting is if you decide to imprison yourself post-ceremorphosis. Withers will visit you in prison for a final conversation. (This conversation shifts a little if you're a Durge, but here is the Tav conversation.)

Withers: Thou remainest in thy chains. A hero, sacrificed. I told thee once that an illithid hath no soul, and yet...something glimmerest about thee. Something is not lost. Dost thou feel it? The spark of the divine within thee? Or does thy hunger consume thee? Player: [Option 1] I'm still myself. I don't know if I belong here. Player: [Option 2] I feel the hunger. But I feel myself, too. I'm not sure which to trust. Player: [Option 3] Have you come to torment me with hypotheticals, old friend? Player: [Option 4] Does it matter? This is my life now.

If you go with option 4, you hear Withers ponderingly say, "Thy life...yes..." before moving on to say that fate isn't done with you yet, which is his response to all the other options as well.

But the more important thing is that even Jergal recognizes a "spark of the divine" within you. Your soul should either be cast off and already wandering the Fugue Plane (if going with theory 1) or so completely transformed that it's no longer an apostolic soul that Jergal would be able to recognize as a god. Yet Jergal recognizes the soul within your mind flayer body as being...well, partly apostolic.

Interesting!

We get a similar dialogue if you sacrifice yourself as a mind flayer, too, though this is fascinating because now it's Withers literally finding your soul (still shaped like a mind flayer, which is interesting) somewhere that is...very gray. There's a suggestion that this might be in the Fugue Plane, or in some limbo state where souls sometimes end up, but regardless, Withers, the soul-finder himself, was able to track down your lingering soul.

Withers: Thou flickerest in the dark - but with mine keen eye, I hath scryed thee. I told thee once that an illithid hath no soul, and yet thou seemest to have something of the spirit about thee. I cannot account for it. How delightful. Tell me, how doth it feel to roam about as thou art now, transformed? Player: [Option 1] Where am I? [mumm's note: he basically doesn't answer this question lol] Player: [Option 2] I still feel like myself. My memories, my feelings - all intact. Withers: No matter how many aeons I have roamed this world and beyond, I am ever-surprised by mysteries new and old.

Even Withers is surprised that the soul you have is something he not only recognizes as a soul, but as your soul. I love how amused and intrigued he sounds when he says "I cannot account for it. How delightful." He even smiles when he says it. He thinks you're super neat! And also a new phenomenon.

(As an aside, I wonder if you being mind-flayer-shaped but still recognizable as you is a hint that your soul did indeed transform to be illithid, but didn't fully transform into a non-apostolic soul like normal illithids would. Like, I wonder if your soul is now half-apostolic and just permanently mind-flayer-shaped. RIP. But this would explain why bringing you back via True Resurrection is kind of a nonviable option since you'd just come back as a mind flayer, and this is the ending where you took your own life to avoid being a mind flayer for forever, so I doubt you'd even want to come back if you couldn't come back to your original body. Things to ponder!)

Anyway, you having something that has glimpses, sparks, or hints of the divine/the spirit about you does tell us that as a mind flayer, your soul wasn't destroyed. It may have been transformed, but you're not as soulless as you thought you were going to be, and you're actually still pretty close to being who you were before the transformation.

Close, but not perfectly or exactly like you were before. You did transform, after all. But these changes become more obvious in other examples, such as with Karlach.

You having a partly-apostolic soul that retains all its memories and most of its original personality is obviously VERY unique and different to what most mind flayers experience. For example, if you turn yourself illithid and then free Orpheus (again, see the same steps above, but go a step farther and actually free him this time), then Orpheus will be utterly shocked that you're capable of independent thought.

Orpheus: What is this... A mind flayer in possession of its mental faculties? This is the stuff of fables. It is as if I am reliving the legend of Oryndoll. You are the illithid Urengol, rebelling against your own hivemind. And I am the noble githyanki Valraag who must now reconsider his position. An illithid capable of rebelling against the Netherbrain's instruction... Not only capable but willing... If your intentions are as righteous as they seem, this is an advantage I cannot overlook. An advantage that must be grasped, for our enemy is formidable indeed. Very well. I propose an alliance.

A couple of notes here: Oryndoll is/was a real mind flayer colony far, far below the surface in the southern regions of Faerûn (beneath the Shining Plains). Not only is it ancient, but the wealth of knowledge stored inside via illithid technology rivals and probably even surpasses that of Candlekeep's library. There's at least one book in the game that talks about a foolish drow adventurer searching for Oryndoll, only to end up a mind flayer, while another hints at Oryndoll's role in the history of the Duergar race. But these are the only mentions of Oryndoll in the game.

Oryndoll has a history in D&D lore, but there's no mention of Urengol and Valraag (that I could find). If this is a fable Orpheus knows, it's apparently so ancient that only he remembers it. But that itself is interesting, because it makes Urengol his closest reference to you having become a rogue, independently-thinking, and emotionally driven mind flayer. He can't think of any other examples, that's how unique you are.

The most important thing here is that Orpheus literally considers your independently thinking self as so baffling, so impossible, it should only exist in fables. That, I think, says a lot.

The next question is, does he think he would become just as unique?

The Case of Orpheus

We all know Orpheus can be convinced to turn into a mind flayer and sacrifice his soul for his people. I'm sure he genuinely does think he is sacrificing his soul, as there is no real precedent that he or anyone else seems to know of for a person who turns into a mind flayer and keeps their soul (or at least keeps their same memories, personality, and intelligence). But if he's surprised that he's kept all his memories after turning illithid, he doesn't really show it.

You can ask him about it, of course, after he's turned into a mind flayer and after you've defeated the Netherbrain. His response is kind of interesting.

Player: You're a mind flayer, but you're still you, aren't you? Orpheus: Yes. But for how long? My mind screams. It will never stop until it has slipped away from me entirely.

No one else seems to define their illithid experience this way. I'm curious if his mind screaming is referring to the hunger he feels, the same hunger he is actively trying to resist, but he doesn't elaborate on this. Regardless, he's certain that while he has retained his personality (and probably his soul) for now, it's not going to last.

This is why he asks for an honorable death after the defeat of the Netherbrain.

Player: You don't deserve to die. Orpheus: I will not be ghaik! I did what I did to save my people. [...] The rest is up to them. Someone else must rise within the ranks to lead the revolution against Vlaakith. Give me my freedom from this form, release my soul to the Astral Seas while I still have one to call my own.

Orpheus believes that he only has a temporary grasp on his soul or consciousness, which may or may not have transformed into a different kind of soul. Then again, if he thinks his soul is going to the Astral Seas, maybe it doesn't matter whether his soul was transformed from apostolic to non-apostolic. I'm not even sure if githyanki have apostolic souls at all, since they wouldn't really be interested in the deities that govern matters on the Material Plane. I mean, for a long time Lae'zel wants her soul to be eaten by Vlaakith (a literal lich queen who eats souls) via "ascension" so...

I also have no idea if his soul, once released to the Astral Seas, would be mind-flayer-shaped. I guess that's the great mystery. I would assume yes, but I also don’t know how souls manifest in the Astral Seas and finding sources on this has been difficult (it all boils down to “ask your DM”).

Orpheus can be convinced to stay alive and just hang out in a far-off "corner of these realms" to watch his people fight against Vlaakith from afar, and there's kind of a hint that him agreeing to do this means he isn't actually afraid he'll lose his entire soul. But at this point, we're getting too far into "maybes" and "what ifs" to suggest anything concrete.

Quick picture break of Orpheus contemplating the Supreme Tadpole to break up the text (I just thought it was a good shot)

Now I do have to acknowledge two things about Orpheus: one, he could be a special mind flayer precisely because of his unique abilities to shield his mind from elder brain compulsion, which means his unique abilities could also be the reason why he retains so much of his personality and therefore his soul. Since most of the time you end up eating his brain and absorbing his abilities, this could also explain why you retain so much of your own soul if you become a mind flayer instead.

In this scenario, you’re a special mind flayer because (1) you have a Netherese tadpole, (2) you transformed using the Supreme Tadpole, and (3) then you ate Orpheus’s brain. All three elements could be at play.

But not everyone eats Orpheus’s brain, so that theory has holes. I genuinely think you just end up being a special mind flayer because of the Netherese magic that messes with your tadpole. The Supreme Tadpole plus Orpheus’s abilities would only be the icing on the cake, so to speak.

The second thing I want to acknowledge is that there’s a glaring plothole for Orpheus even turning into a mind flayer at all, if you play the game a certain way. If you send the Emperor away to free Orpheus before the Emperor gives you the Supreme Tadpole (for example if you send Lae’zel over to smash the chains holding Orpheus captive without talking to the Emperor, which is what I did one time, and the Emperor was literally like “don’t talk to me again bye” and left), then how does he turn into a mind flayer? He doesn’t have a tadpole and you don’t have the Supreme Tadpole to give to him.

He gets around this with you or Karlach by saying he’ll lower his mental shields so that your tadpole hears the Netherbrain’s orders to transform and then replace the shields again.

Orpheus: My defences keep the voice of the Absolute out, but just as I can raise them, so I can lower them. I will allow the voice of the Absolute in. Once it reaches you, it will order you to transform. It will only take a moment. And once you are a mind flayer, I will fold you under my protection once more. You will be the saviour of empires, not least my own. Narrator: *With the withdrawal of Orpheus' power, your mind is rushed with the full force of the Netherbrain. You feel a compulsion unlike anything you've ever known - excruciating and exhilarating in equal measure. You wish nothing in the world but to evolve. Then - complete silence, as you are once again closed off from the Netherbrain's mind.*

So that makes sense, and it means you being a special mind flayer could boil down to your personality being hella strong + you being infected with a special Netherese tadpole. In this scenario, the Supreme Tadpole can’t be used to explain your unique soul-keeping abilities, and neither can you attribute your soul-keeping abilities to consuming Orpheus's brain (since he's still alive). So maybe the Supreme Tadpole and/or Orpheus's brain doesn’t have any effect on why you keep your mostly-unaltered soul.

In the end I guess it’s just the weird Netherese tadpole that does the trick? Honestly, I wonder if it all boils down to the fact that the Netherese tadpole doesn't eat your brain, it just lies dormant and incubating in your head, so you're not losing brain matter. (But this ignores or forgets that when you eat other tadpoles you literally watch them burrow into your brain matter so I'm sure the magic has something to do with it too.)

But anyway this still doesn’t explain why Orpheus, who shouldn’t have a tadpole, somehow turns into a mind flayer by, I don’t know, manifesting it??? Or why he is also a unique mind flayer once he does this without the Supreme Tadpole. I mean in his case I’m sure it is because he has special mind shield abilities but still. How did he turn into a mind flayer without a tadpole? Make it make sense, Larian.

He literally just touches his head with a psionic magic effect, which is the same gesture he uses to lower his mental shield to allow the Netherbrain to force you to transform. It's also interesting that if you have him transform using the Supreme Tadpole, then he doesn't say anything as he accepts the tadpole from you and absorbs it. But if you have him change without the tadpole, then he says, "The Netherbrain will be only too pleased to claim me."

Which...kind of implies that he's somehow able to communicate with the Netherbrain or hear its voice, so...maybe he secretly does have a tadpole? I mean, a popular theory is the Emperor probably did tadpole Orpheus off-screen since he seems to have a level of compulsion over Orpheus, but this is never explained or mentioned in the game so do whatever you want with that theory.

But I digress.

Let's do a quick summary, shall we?

TLDR: You're probably a super special mind flayer who gets to keep their soul mostly intact (or mostly unaltered) because your tadpole was imbued with Netherese magic and generally doesn't eat your brain. You might also be super special because you transformed using the Supreme Tadpole (optional) and/or consumed Orpheus's brain (also optional). Orpheus might be a super special mind flayer simply because he's Orpheus, and that is why he can still retain most of his soul/personality, even though he keeps thinking he's going to lose it. His status as special mind flayer seems unchanged whether he transformed using the Supreme Tadpole or not, so it really must be an Orpheus Thing.

Phew. That was a lot. And honestly, Karlach and Gale only complicate things, so they're going in a separate post. Keep an eye out for Part 3!

~*~*~

You made it to the end!!! Amazing, you deserve an achievement or something, but all I have are more gold stars.

✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨

Tags for those who wanted the update! @galesdevoteewife @stuffforthestash

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 meta #bg3 lore #bg3 deep dive #deep dive #long post #super long post #the emperor #orpheus #mind flayer #i had to make this a three part thing because it was getting super long

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moe-broey · 4 months

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ALSO LIKE???????? IN MY MIND I NEVER THOUGHT ALFONSE WAS LIKE. That fucking popular??????????? LIKE....... one thing I've always liked about my online space specifically is how niche it feels and to me. Loving Alfonse so much so dearly felt like. SUCH a niche thing. Like there are one million Fire Emblem characters from main series games who are vastly more popular who have insane fanbases just on their own. To me Alfonse being in top 20 or top 10 always felt like he was an underdog. To me Alfonse has always felt like Just Some Guy and I love him for that. I have ALWAYS been of the belief his ass is NOT getting a Brave alt EVER. You can dream but he's just some guy. A FEH OC. Yeah the Main Fucking Character FEH OC but like. Idk somehow he just felt like. Like liking him and posting about him and drawing him all this fucking time it has always felt like he's an underdog. Guy you have to look at twice to really start thinking about him. And once you start Thinking about him oh dude it is SO fucking over for you (and who knows maybe that's exactly how he won)

#fire emblem #feh #THE WAY I VOTED FOR HIM TWICE THIS YEAR TOO LMFAOOOOOOOOO #the way i was dreaming of fraud....... only being able to do it for bruno but i WAS fully considering it. for both askr sibs as well #I GOTTA KNOW. WHERE SHARENA PLACED. DOES SHE HAVE A SHOT????????????#could it happen all over again.......... 😳#BECAUSE. THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT ALFONSE IN THIS CONTEXT VERY MUCH APPLIES TO SHARENA TOO #ESPPPPPPPP honestly MORE SEVERELY. bc ESPPP early on she was SHAFTED SO FUCKING MUCH #to the point where i wholeheartedly believed the writers themselves weren't giving her a chance. that if they DID #then it would have a ripple effect on the fanbase and she would REALLY get to shine #WHICH!!!! I THINK HAS HAPPENED!!!!!! TO A DEGREE NOW!!!!!!!! sharena ABSOLUTELY feels like #a character who stands on her own now and has a lot of compelling things going on and is just charming as well #and like ALL THESE THINGS were present before but now they're stronger. idk if i'm explaining it well #AUAHGHH........ i am. so . still in disbelief tbh. i'm so proud of him though #fe alfonse

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theinfinitedivides · 5 months

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this is so random but i would love to hear your opinion on mydramalist as a fellow asian drama lover. because it’s obviously well known as a reliable wiki of sorts in dramaland but i beg to differ. (the only plus i feel being the summary and cast list for info)

i mean, i’ve not seen a single comsec w more than two brain cells as a whole? there’s always complaints about female leads rooted from misogyny, they are never happy about story progression, and i just find so many of them kinda dumb sorry lol. like zero media literacy to be found, insufferable arguments, etc. the star ratings are rly just given to popular dramas w high profile actors too.

and i personally find it disheartening that so many ppl end up referring to mdl when considering dramas because so many gems are then lost and not given appreciation.

anon. anon anon anon if you know the way i sat straight the f*ck up when i saw the notification and then read through this ask bc yes. yes to everything here that is exactly it. almost three fourths of what i've watched this year was either 1. not received well by the general MDL crowd (Moon in the Day. where is the taste brethren to not like MITD and not even for reasons that actually make sense), 2. received well but had a good chunk of people bitching in the comment section, or 3. received well but had the main point of the show (and its relevant characterization) go over their heads. (The Worst of Evil aka TWOE comment section, i am f*cking looking at you. i can count on one hand the number of people who understood what that show was supposed to be about) the one fourth that managed to escape was bc the toxicity did not reach the comment section and everyone was pretty f*cking civil. alas if only it could be like that all of the time

case in point for the ratings example, since we've already briefly tackled the lack of media literacy—j-dramas on MDL are notoriously rated much, much lower than either k- or c-dramas. half of the time that's bc there are less users watching (and rating) them therefore the average is lower but the other half it's bc people simply do not understand good media when they see it. don't get me wrong there's some freaky ass sh*t in the j-drama world that i would not touch with a Grinch level pole but to see MDLers out here talking about how slow j-dramas are and that nothing's happening. have you considered that you are either watching the wrong genre or you shouldn't be watching j-dramas in the first place bc their entire setup and general narrative framing arcs are not your style. have you even thought about that for six seconds or are you too busy expecting it to read like a typical tropey rom-com k-drama with your trending oppas. (no hate on my tropey rom-coms with [most of] said oppas, i need them when i don't want to think i just want to see sh*t on my screen and scream about hot people and the Hand Umbrellas in the Rain and the Back Hold when the male lead catches the female lead before she falls and you have the fifteen second focus on their faces just looking at each other)

and the misogyny. oh God do not get me started on the dichotomy that was the Cult, as we affectionatly called ourselves, on the feeds while THEE sageuk of the year My Dearest was airing (beloved show [that i still need to finish. JangChae i'm sorry ily life hates me like the mf it is 😭], beloved commentary on the feeds. they saw the vision on the feeds) vs the sh*tshow that was the landmine field of the comment section (the takes i saw on Gil Chae, Eun Ae AND Ryang Eum respectively.......... the misogyny wasn't enough we had to add the homophobia into the mix. buy one get one free deal fr fr). you mad man. that sh*t was insane there was a point i banned myself from scrolling farther than the cast section until the show finished airing. i kid you not on average they didn't have even half a braincell. maybe a quarter of a quarter of one. f*cked up just say you are not decent people and go

this is not to say that all of MDL is like this. i have gotten tuned into absolute masterpieces of content (and have tuned others, amen) bc of a comment comparing a show i'm watching to another one or a review being posted in the feeds about a film with less than 500 people interested. i have reconsidered my choice to not watch something after having spirited discussions in private messages discussing the pros and cons of the premise and whether they managed to get it done without f*cking sh*t up. i still contribute semi-regularly by adding relatively unknown actors and crew members to the database so they can get the credit due them. if you know where to look, you can get some good sh*t out of that place. problem is most users who are new to both the site and East/Southeast Asian cinema as a whole don't know where to look, and the cycle continues, and the ratings continue to be skewed/bloated and no one pays attention to the plot, if there even is any to pay attention to.

tl;dr: begging people to not let MDL be the be all end all for their drama recs a la 'well MDL doesn't like it so i won't watch it'. babe we have said MDLers complaining about how the ratings on Viki are too high but in my entire time watching dramas i've found that in the past two to three years the Viki ratings are making more sense than the MDL ones. sit with that for a sec. when you're done branch out and see the world (literally and cinematically), i promise you will be a better person for it

#inbox #q: anon #mydramalist #mdl #kdrama #not what i expected to see this Friday but i needed to see it #anon love this got a bit long i'm sorry i am just. Passionate about this subject as you can tell #honestly istg the only reason i still use MDL is to track my sh*t. plus i obsessively organized my profile page and i am not letting that #go to waste no ty #i feel like the Asian drama fandom over here on Tumblr are just. slightly more normal somehow. also you'll get f*ckingly long analyses #on shows that will have you face down on the ground shot in six different places taken apart etc etc #situations like these are when i'm grateful that Bollywood is not available on MDL bc the takes with even less than a quarter of #a quarter of a braincell that i would have to deal with then........... God loves me that's why it hasn't happened #also. the Caribbean seeped into this once again let me explain. 'you mad man' is a Dominican (DM not DR) phrase. it has nothing #to do with the 'you mad?' in the African American community that is an entirely separate thing. 'you mad' here means 'you crazy?'#or 'bitch you ain't serious'. could have also said 'you too have limyé' but that would need another paragraph by itself to explain #bc of the Dominican specific context and this is not the kweyol/patois class session today sksksksk

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wild-at-mind · 4 months

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Not to talk about MRA-lite spaces again but I'm going to need everyone to understand that in these spaces, the subtext of 'men don't get to talk about their problems' is ALWAYS 'and it is women's fault!'

#my time in the MRA-lite saltmines returns to me yet again whenever i see the transandrophobia side of tumblr #look- it's just the same stuff ok? Or maybe i'm just biased because it triggers me the fucking same no matter who is saying it #also please note i'm saying MRA-lite and not MRA- I understand that MRA usually has connotations of violence for people #MRA-lite is nothing like that it's just a load of talking about men's issues but without any of the context #the very important context that you need to place the issues into wider society and its effect on everyone and not just men #these spaces may not be violent but they are quite pointless and the conversations never ever go anywhere #and it's been the same like 5 conversations for the past 15 years and no doubt much longer but that's as far back as i go with it #every time someone discovers the 5 or so men's issue they act like they just converted to a religion or something #and bring it up in everything. I was like that too at like 21 i promise i get it! but now i look back and CRINGE #and i am a guy now! ok? I get it that a lot of people are transmasc doing this i get why! but.....#i just wish it was less of a Thing. and i genuinely find it triggering.#because i do fucking care ok? i have academic books about some of the 5 or so men's issues on my bookshelf!#because actually there are people writing these books and they do care!#i had someone a while ago saying it was 'sad' to see a trans man talk like i do on this so i explained where i'm coming from #and they never came back so i will never know if they saw my point of view and that kind of sucked #hopefully that won't happen again- i really don't like arguing with other transmasc people (i like discussions though)#anyway i'll stop rambling now

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eyes1nthewoods · 7 months

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love when people talk about pre-cazador astarion like he was this perfect angel baby that everyone loved as though he wasnt beaten to near death by a minority group.

#this is sarcasm in case you couldnt tell #like hey lets maybe. not ignore that part to make yourself feel better about liking him.#also love how the game kind of fucking ignores it too 😐#it gets brought up to explain his hate for the gur and then??? never gets brought up again. even when you meet the gur in act 3.#ughhh i am too white and too stupid to make an educated post about this #maybe i'll try to later. but if someone smarter than me could that'd be awesome #anyway the main point of this post is that what astarion was like and what he did before cazador doesn't matter anymore #(even though it probably should at least a little bit but shhh. but in the context of the story)#because no one deserves to go through what he and his siblings and his victims did

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purring-tiefling · 2 months

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why are we even here. just to suffer :)))))

#vent #i am straight up having an awful fucking time #no fear. my therapist will hear about this!!!#idk how im going to explain everything to him tho if im too lazy and tired of crying to write it here #context for peggy: my gf brought up tge fact that she's not sure if she loves me romantically or not #so fuck me i guess. we had this conversation 4 years ago already. and we're having it again.#god I've cried for like two hours already #zoloft save me. save me zoloft #/j i don't abuse my prescriptions and i don't intend to harm myself

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brookiidookiii · 3 months

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havent caught up on the bold and the beautiful in a while but hope and thomas are together again?????? areyou kidding me. and finn is siding with his homicidal mother instead of his wife who killed her in self defense i hate these people

#for context thomas is hopes stalker and is a massive creep #bro stole a maniquinn that looked like hope and im not explaining the rest #and thats just one of his thousands of misdeeds too #i am a hope defender but at some point i need her to file that restraining order for good #99% sure hopes gonna end up with finn tho and thomas is gonna go crazy AGAIN #cant wait for monday #and steffy and finn were so happy together too what a shame #at least shelias actually gone for good this time

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oswaldddavis · 5 months

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(They think the other is a idiot)

#asktotag #sonic exe #xhouse #((No idea how to explain we have like way too many interpretations and spoofs of the guy))#((Like I could ramble about the ''Master File & Distributions'' or ''Spoof'' variants but honestly talk so much I end up saying nonsense?))#((Main reason why my art seems to have no context is because I literally voice chat and ramble for 4-6 hours))#((Essentially about the newest hyperfixated multiverse we've created-))#((-for our far to energetic ideas for us to narrow down & ''choose'' one because there's no singular correct interpretation of art))#((There's far too many variables to consider one universe as the most canon so obviously we have to branch from every possible angle-))#((-and end up with at least 30 of the same character but in different flavours))#((NOT ACCOUNTING FOR THE FACT THAT IT'S ADDICTING TO MAKE SPOOFS FROM JUST ONE INTERACTION TO SEE WHERE THEY GO))#((Like. There's so much potential in the morality and development of a character based off of one or more events-))#((-that derail from their original situations! ENVIRONMENTS & SITUATIONS SHAPE SO MUCH FOR A PERSON & I HAVE TO SEE EVERY POSSIBLE ANGLE.))#((Sorry for the rant/ramble here-))#((-I never usually have the confidence to express how much I love making things.))#((I tend to bury my thoughts and say so little cause I usually think no one would be interested or would think I'm annoying for it))#((Sometimes you hear voices say the most stupid take & feel so enraged by its obsurdity that you temporarily lose your social anxiety))#((It'll probably return eventually because the moment I post this I can guarantee it will cause it's happened before. I am not immune.))#((Unrelated but I like having a variety of papers to draw on again. I can't share much yet due to conceptuals but Soon!!))

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ojirocardigansniper · 6 months

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:hesthonk: maybe i should talk about inoush (lahil's predecessor) on da blog next. i don't have a lot for uem personally or even need much, mostly just uer relationships with ayirine+lahil and uer post, but i could probably talk a little about the basics of uiranour lore.... although if i use the word uiranour then i have to Decide finally if that refers to only the offering-eater or the offering-oracle pair together. i have to do a little made up fake bullshit etymology in my mind just for me. which IS a treat. but it is an additional step

#chat #the struggle of esplaining uiranour lore is when to stop though. reference uira as the last living god Then smile mysteriously and stop ❤️#i am NOT going into the pilgrimage this early. arguably i shouldn't until after i start throwing atei into the mix but.#how do i even explain atei without talking about the pilgrimage to some degree. unless i reference it a bit and then... OUGH wait #atei can explain Why........ right.... bc the pilgrimage is remembered but the reasoning has been forgotten......#i am trying for the first time ever to think about Linear Reader Experience with this story so it is bringing up Fascinating new problems #bc of course i made this up piecemeal everywhere junebugging pepesilvia over the course of seven years so. NO linearity to it in MY mind #except for the flow of time but im not telling people this chronologically god damn. a timeskip is Stupid compared to a recontextualization #that dumps horror of OH MY GOD. THATS HOW IT TURNED OUT SO FUCKED UP. damn just like a story of ash..... seth dickinson you got me again #ok. post got a little goofyass in the tags. well enjoy my contextless ramblings! unless you are one of two and change people with context #then i guess brother you can just die <- JOKE i love you ailexandritem (is this anything. it feels terrible i enjoy it)#ouroboros ocs

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abyssalpriest · 10 months

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I think whatever I end up doing the lesson is at its core "you need to stop seeing all attempts at saying you experience something as you taking up too much space and being dangerous, and you also need to understand everyone always makes mistakes sometimes (nothing anyone thinks is fully right) and you're not lesser and amateur at channelling because you aren't fully right, and also some third thing he says there is but idk what it is"

#Bc I don't want to be an authority anyway I just want to have fun embodying my role as a channeller of his like....#And IDK I think at some point I need to understand that cycles of abuse happen when people think they're owed something and that others #deserve to go through what they went through. But I.... Am so against continuing the cult cycle that I sit here making light of #my life's work and not respecting is at all on the off chance it might negatively impact anyone in any way bc negative impact on my mind is #just immediately equalled to Cult Activity in my head. But like. Bruh. I don't even like interacting w people that much and I have the #Schizotypal Thing of not having an impulse to make new friends let alone a fuckin cult #Anyway. I need to stop catastrophising ''it would be nice to make this whole channelling Leviathan into an official thing #and test the limits of channelling and divination and whatnot'' into ''oh my god that's making myself an authority like he said not to do #and also that's just borderline making a cult that's continuing cycles of abuse'' bruh. Me occasionally doing a reading about his opinions #on something for someone else while making sure that someone understands my disclaimers that it's being translated through me/etc #Or something like that. Is not..... Declaring myself an authority on anything nor roping them in to rely on me ESPECIALLY when I always #explain how you SHOULDN'T rely on me as fact bc it's never fact like that's....#Anyway. I should've expected this now that I think about it bc he often works with spiritual consultants for human groups and shit like #And he is endlessly humbling lbfr he always tells people who are worth working with when they're being dumb/etc and I want to be #Worth working with. Anyway. God hello I Need More by Misanthrop. ''I need more I need nothing I need more I need nothing'' yeah exactly #That's already a leviathan song this context is absolutely a mood. There is a MIDDLE GROUND.#Anyway again this is years away but #I'm way too socially anxious to do anything close to the thing like this blog just Existing is already testing all my social buttons but hey #ramblings //#Diary //

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unlikelywrestlingfan · 1 year

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https://twitter.com/DoukiPerros/status/1599272529587470336?t=zs6v0zSA-PbwxFLNRB6BiQ&s=19

Should I have rewatched this at 6:30am-ish? Probably not but now you can too

#ace austin #douki plz give him a black eye again next time he goes to japan 💛#douki's reponse of lol shut up was fab #ace explaining wrestling lingo in context - vocab in context 💛💛💛 teacher heart go 💓#'because i am a beautiful man' 'with the the makeup'#gambit #unlikelywrestlingfan

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indefiniteavatar · 15 days

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So basically, in a case about him shoving money at someone so they shut up about him. . .he can’t shut the fuck up himself. I would say something clever and funny here, except the sad part is that this is just so normal in current politics that it’s just. . .not hilariously absurd behavior anymore? Not to say that it’s not absurd - it is beyond such, but it is just. . . predictable, I suppose.

I guess this is how I feel about politics lately? Either I get mad at everything or I try to laugh at everything and normally that works because politicians usually aren’t so tragically stupid so very often, but now I just kinda have to chuckle at the particularly eyeroll worthy things like this, and try to ignore everything else or my brain will explode.

#maybe that’s my biggest pet peeve about the current state of politics #Normally I like having discussions with people #of various mindsets and lifestyles and backgrounds #while my personal standpoint about many if not most political things is pretty solid. I also enjoy finding out more about things.#It’s always nice to learn more about things.#when it gets to a point like this or let’s be real-a point like where it got a few months ago when. More like a couple years ago honestly #There’s just so much. Too much. And two try to process all of it especially in a way such that one keeps up with useful discussion? oof.#I know I meant to do something else in these tags – something more specific – but at least on mobile #I just lost like three tags because the one I was working on hit 140 but when I was warned #I didn’t get to backspace or anything. I just kind of deleted the whole thing.#And in my confusion and attempt to undo what I had done #I managed to backspace a couple times and lose the finish tag above that one #and of course my first attempt at explaining that I had lost two tags turned into three tags because #I lost the first attempts that said two tags because it went over and yet again my attempt of not backspace this time #I just lost another two tags and then at this point I don’t even remember where I was going with this train of thought either #tl;dr: I wish I could take as much amusement from this as I want to but I can’t because shit like this is just so fucking normal #but hey it’s better than January 6 or trying to nuke a hurricane so I suppose I can live with it #right so I realize that I got to read all of the things I just typed in the page before this #so I did and while I have a laughable amount of nowhere near the fuck enough spoons #there’s a very good chance I am going to come back to this when I get on my iPad or PC #There’s also a very good chance I’m going to completely forget this post exists if not the app entirely #but given that I finally downloaded this on my actual phone instead of my tablet for the first time in years #And I just lost another fucking tag #this time naturally it had to be one with Contant that I remember as semantically important #but similarly naturally of course I don’t bloody well remember #right so I am going to go back to the stuff I was doing now cause I was doing stuff before I saw a Tumblr notification #which I didn’t actually look at at the time but but I can absolutely be sure that it was a hefty part of the reason why #when I found something that I wanted to post about and a context that had a larger audience and not just individuals #didn’t have FB/Reddit (tho lbr I would probably have a 6 foot nose if I tried to imply they were great social networks)#which goes back to seeing the tumblr notif & still having a big Nostalgia so. hi here i am

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rufusx2 · 2 months

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dear anon (though i do know who you are, so i'm writing this with you in mind):

this is true, nothing you have said is something i would necessarily disagree with. the post is satirical and the longer work is about my own flawed thinking (though i will likely not post it in it's entirety until it is done, all of my meowing is just for snippets, though i understand that it can come across as strange or concerning if you are unaware of this as i have not posted my blog organization anywhere. in fact, the on;y posts of mine UNRELATED to my main bodies of work, my songwriting, are the photo posts organized under "#blinks").

this is the purpose of using language like "flawed in the right way"- i know my own lines of thinking are most definitely caused by societal problems, and they are not productive nor based in logic. even my blog header ("you delicate, precious, dying thing!") is supposed to bring to mind the "ideal" female body as being delicate and starved (which is a bad thing for people with a brain... but not for the narrator!). being born "right" (or "rightwrong" as i tend to refer to it, which is just a heavyhanded way of pointing out that calling yourself "born right" is flawed thinking) is not an actual thing, though i cannot help but loop back into this logic of "if only i had been born as somebody else" forgetting, of course, that i will only ever be myself. i focus on my own female form (and wishing to have been born differently) as a manifestation of poor body image (weight related) and self hatred (in terms of personality). if i had the power to be born differently, a "better" person, my brain (or i guess *I* would, i use "my brain" as a way of distancing myself from my own bad thoughts which is probably not helping the problem) would make this person male- the point is that not only is the premise impossible, but being a "better" person is impossible if you completely change yourself, and using this line of logic we can see that the CONCLUSIONS myself, or rather, the narrator of the piece of writing, (if i'm to be neutral and detached and pretend that it's NOT me saying all this), are also incorrect, and impossible regardless which makes dwelling upon them pointless in the first place. it's a futile line of thinking, and every word is clouded through a thick layer of rosy haze. i would even be inclined to at some points call it christocentric... this is why i used "wwjd" in a sarcastic way in some of my posts (that may or may not be publicly visible yet due to my queue system). take that how you will.

calling the female form flawed was not a way of thinking that the reader/listener is supposed to agree with (though again, it is a disembodied snippet, so of course you wouldn't know this upon reading so i don't blame you for not picking up on it. i am fine! i know there is nothing wrong with my body. and yet... i feel my own mind needling at me). i wouldn't exactly say that my writings are explicitly feminist, because that implies a conscious agenda and explicit political messaging when really it's all just personal anecdotes, but since i would describe myself as being a feminist i think the undertones bleed through. or at least, i hope they will when i do eventually release more.

i know i can never have what i want, and i know that what i want is NOT rational, or good, and is entirely based in heteropatriarchal ideas, but i can't help myself and i need to confront that desire frankly in order to identify it. you can't exactly get a good look at yourself if you close your eyes when you approach the mirror, and this is how i feel about ignoring these thoughts. i cannot pretend that i do not feel this way, and i dont really think it services anyone to pretend i always feel positively about my body. wallowing in them isn't always helpful for the wallow-er, but it perhaps CAN be for a witness who doesn't realize that they are not alone in their way of existing. there are many ways to be, in this body, and others like it, and while negativity is a symptom of a larger problem i have to be honest about it.

#i wont respond to the ask directly because of the wording (not your fault) and because its mainly my fault for not being clear enough #i dont really expect anybody to see these. its mainly an archive blog for my own writing process. usually im copy-pasting from a google doc #i write music to go along with it. but the music isnt good enough yet so you cannot have the full context of the work just yet...#eventually though. i have to share it before i die because it will not exist otherwse. and that is sad to me!#so sit tight or dont. not sure if you will ever see this since im not actually responding directly #meowing back #i think thats a cute ask tag. im keeping it #a rare cutting open of my own chest for the internet. but only because you were being earnest about it #im kind of lying about the purpose of the larger work though it is about gender transition in some parts but it would take #WAY longer for me to properly explain that and i fear it would be misunderstood by anybody who ISNT you (anon) or me #you know where im coming from and i can see you too. so i hope you can understand what i mean when i bring that up #i cannot be angry at the dysphoric person... i am not her. but i am her. we are the same and different.#this will make more sense once i expand upon it but again its not done cooking yet so youll have to trust me #think of my blog as a highlight reel.

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