okay but. rory has the "hates being wet" werewolf temperament. which means she gets furious from contact with water

she also has dirt on her hands. always no matter what. cause it comes from the "tattoos" category. sure, she spends a lot of time outside. she might be digging a lot of holes. constantly

but i firmly believe. rory does NOT wash her hands

or anything. not with water at least. she just grooms herself like the animal she is. which leads me to some other stuff i would like to point out

rory would NOT put on fucking make up. she would NOT fucking shave. her creators are cowards. let her be masc without stupid additions "just so people still can tell its a woman!!"

okay back to funny stuff. rory i know youre the biggest metalhead here. yess lets go to a metal concert together. but girl why are you wearing bovver boots in your sports outfit . are you insane

anyways heres a screenshot of rory holding an obviously oversized rabbit<3

so nice you get to look at it twice

Ok. I have a request took me a lot of courage to finally request and shat myself a couple times but anyway! A one shot where choso lives in y/ns dorm with them and he was like doing his hair and kept messing up and gave up and started crying (I FEEL LIKE THATS SOMETHING HED DO THE POOR BOY:() thennnn y/n walks in their dorm and sees him crying and then comforts him and does his hair for him!!

IF THAT AIN'T LOVE THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!

synopsis// choso is having an off day.

➚ pairing// choso x gn!reader ➚ word count// 1.4k

contents// frustrated/sad choso? idk just some hurt/comfort in a way! fluff?? could be read as either platonic or romantic doesnt really matter i supposeeee? i think it kinda reads more romantic tho

notes// anon ur actual fucking MIND. i was moved. literally right after reading ur request i opened up my notes and went to fucking WORKKK!!!! anyway sorry its so kinda all over the place but i hope u like it and it lived up to ur expectations!! n also sorry to everyone else for posting a oneshot mid smau its short n cute okay (AND ITS FUCKING CHOSO SO LIKE CMON???) i couldnt help myself !! also the title is lyrics from cupid's chokehold by gym class heroes... okay bye!

Sharing a dorm with Choso was heavenly.

Because of your conflicting schedules, half the time, you rarely actually saw each other. But even when you did, he was the type of roommate to keep to himself; he has his side of the room, and you have yours. Of course, you two talked here and there; he was actually pretty nice company whenever you two were actually in the room at the same time. But more often than not, the only time you would see him was late at night when you were just getting in to go to sleep.

Either way, the point is, you never really saw him around much. Choso was always quick and effective, so by the time you would head back to your dorm after a few of your classes, he would just be heading out or have already left.

Usually, his alarm would go off an hour before his classes, which is ample time for him. He’s done his routine hundreds of times before—doing his hair and eyeliner is practically muscle memory, and at this point he's sure he could do it in his sleep. but not today, apparently. Today his alarm goes off late—half an hour late. Which Choso isn’t panicked by, only slightly frustrated, but it's fine. That still leaves him another half an hour to get ready, so there's still plenty of time given that it only takes him 10–15 minutes to get ready, so it's fine. Everything is fine; he repeats it in his head like a mantra, like if he thinks it and says it enough, he’ll actually believe it.

Choso quickly dresses, then sits at his desk, where a little mirror sits. He sighs as he flips on a lamp and grabs his eyeliner. He doesn’t even have to think about it, instinctively taking the cap off and bringing it to his eye, only for it to crumble as it meets his waterline. Choso cusses under his breath as he blinks, attempting to get whatever fell into his eye out. When that doesn't work, he rubs his eye, only for it to spread eyeliner all across his eye and cheek. He groans, grabbing a cloth to wipe it off with, and once his face is clean, he doesn't even bother trying with his eyeliner again—looking at the time, he’s already wasted more than he wanted doing that. He’ll just do his hair and leave, or else he’ll be late.

Choso stills for a moment, forcing himself to take a deep breath to try and calm the nerves and frustration simmering beneath his skin—it's fine. He nods. Now somewhat calmer, he grabs his hair ties and gets to work… only for one of them to break as he’s trying to put his hair through it. Choso stares at himself in the mirror, eyes narrowed and swallowing harshly, as he desperately tries to ignore the rising heat going to his cheeks.

Whatever.

It's fine.

He’ll just do the other side of his hair...only for the same thing to happen. Choso can actively feel his heart racing—it's pounding against his chest and ringing in his ears—and he’s already too far gone to notice or even stop the tears from falling down his cheeks. He doesn’t really know why he’s actually crying, if he’s being honest. It’s not like this is the end of the world; he knows that, yet he can't stop himself. Too many things have gone wrong, and he’s barely woken up. First, his alarm goes off late, which isn't the most horrible thing within itself, but then his eyeliner crumbles and gets in his eye, and when he tries to wipe it away, it instead smears on his face. Then he rubs his face raw, trying to get it off, and now he can't do his fucking hair because his hair ties suddenly decided to disintegrate and snap in half.

He messily wipes at his tears and tries inhaling deeply for air in a feeble attempt to calm himself the tiniest bit down. It doesn't do anything. In fact, it makes things worse. His tears fall harder, and he’s choking in shallow breaths of air. If anyone walked in right this moment, they’d think something horrible happened, like one of his brothers died. and it's just his luck, or a very obvious lack thereof, when you walk in. Choso immediately starts scrambling to wipe his tears away and hide his face from you as you drop your things in shock—you hadn’t expected him to still be in the dorm, let alone be here crying.

“Holy shit, Choso, are you okay? What's wrong? Did something happen?” You panic, immediately running to his side.

He doesn’t say anything; he just takes in and lets out shaky breaths as he shakes his head, one arm outstretched to keep you at arm's length.

You frown and look around. For what? You’re not sure. Part of you thinks if you look hard enough, you'll find why he’s crying, but all you see are snapped hair ties, a crumbled, unsharpened eyeliner pencil, and a cloth full of eyeliner. That’s when it all starts to make sense. You smile softly at him, who's still hiding his red tear-stained face from you, before you grab his comb and a new pair of hair ties from his desk.

Choso doesn’t know what you're doing when he hears you shuffling around, and he refuses to meet your gaze, filled to the brim with embarrassment at having been caught crying, but his head involuntarily snaps up, looking at you through the mirror, when he feels you start to brush his hair. You're already staring back at him and flashing him a warm smile, not saying a word as you continue to detangle his hair.

“You don't have to do this,” he sniffles, finally calming down enough to say something.

"I know I don't," you shrug. "But I also know it sucks when it seems like nothing is working or going to plan, so..."

"I can do it myself-“

"Choso, just let me do this for you, please.”

He stares at you for a moment, studying your face as if trying to find something, and when he finds nothing but your soft eyes and willingness—your desire—to do this for him, he sighs and nods. You beam and gleefully get back to work on his hair, and Choso finds that he’s no longer embarrassed by being seen crying but rather by the fact he feels like a doll—but the worst part? It's kind of nice.

He likes having someone do this for him with no hesitation; he likes the way your fingers carefully rake through his hair to ensure there's no tangles even though you just combed it; he likes the way you don't tie the ponytails too tight like he usually does, which only results in a pounding headache he can't get rid of; he likes all of it.

He likes all of it so much so that he finds himself closing his eyes in complete bliss, drowning in your gentle touches. You poof up one of his ponytails a bit, ready to tell him you're done, when you look into the mirror and notice his eyes closed, looking like he’s in a whole other world. You can't fight your smile off as you play with his ponytail for a bit longer before slowly wrapping your arms around him and resting your head on his shoulder.

“What do you think?” You whisper, your breath softly fanning against his ear.

Choso opens his eyes, surprised to see you pretty much hugging him from behind, yet he doesn't hate it, not one bit. Too caught up about how much he does not hate this; he doesn't respond, and it makes you nervous.

“Sorry… I know they don't look exactly like how you usually do them, but-“

"No, no,” he cuts you off quickly. “They look amazing... Thank you, y/n...”

You smile, happy with his answer, as you untangle yourself from him and stand up. “You should head out now, Choso; you're late.”

He blinks, totally forgetting about class, and hurriedly stands up. "Right, thank you again,” is all he’s saying before rushing out the door.

You giggle slightly before yawning and making your way to your bed, ready for your usual nap, when Choso comes rushing back into the dorm again. You stare at him wide-eyed, and he simply stares back.

You furrow your eyebrows, confused, and are about to ask if he's okay when suddenly he blurts out:

"I wouldn’t mind if you did my hair again.”

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

Cramps

Jake Lockely x Fem!reader

summary: When reader falls asleep after an hour of painful cramps, Jake comes home and sees you groaning in your sleep, in obvious pain. Jake is well aware that an orgasm can get rid of your cramps.

warnings: NSFW, dubcon, somnophilia, period sex, blood, p in v, creampie, swearing.

Jake was in a calm mood when he walked through the door. Steven and Marc had stopped being a fly on the wall and went to sleep when they knew Jake was safe, not that he couldnt take care of himself but they all looked out for eachother no matter what.

He threw his cap on the counter and ran his rough fingers through his hair, groaning and muttering a small fuck before turning around and heading for the shower. He stopped midway when he heard a small whimper come out of you. He walked over to your side of the bed and knelt down examining your face “oh cariño” he whispers as he watches your face twist in discomfort. He assumed you were having a nightmare as he didnt yet know you were on your period.

He pulled the blanket off you to crawl in beside you but froze when he saw a patch of blood beneath you.

“Jake it’s okay” Steven suddenly says from the headspace, Jake shakes his head and is about to rip off your pajamas and look for where the blood is coming from, to see where you were ‘injured’.

Steven groans at Jake “she’s started her period. It’s her cramps” he tells him and Jake backs away confused “i-i dont know what to do hermano” he almost pouts. Steven told him to wake you and change the sheets so you could sleep comfortably but for some reason Jake really didnt want to wake you, knowing your cramps would only worsen when you wake up.

Jake shook his head “it’s okay i’ll handle it” he tells Steven and Steven nods, going back to sleep.

You suddenly jolt and let out a small cry “Jake”.

Jake rushes to your side once more and strokes the side of your face “shhh mi amor, i’ve got you” he whispers and allows you to settle down again before carefully lifting you into his arms, carrying you over to the couch and laying you down. He kisses your forehead and quickly tore off the bed sheets, shoving them in the washing machine then reaching into one of the cupboards and getting new bedding.

He was quiet when he put the bedding on. Walking back over to you and frowning at your ruined pajama pants, he went into the bathroom and grabbed a few towels and a warm damp cloth. He placed the towels over the bed and folded the cloth on the nightstand then making his way back over to you.

He picked you back up and layed you down on the towels, reaching into your waistband and gently pulling down your bottoms then throwing them onto the floor. He took off his shirt and kicked off his jeans before crawling in beside you and rolling you on your side so your back was against his chest “i’m gonna make the pain go away princesa” he murmurs against your ear and reaches down to pull off your panties.

Blood never fazed lockley, it fazed none of them. But you would always tell them you’re too insecure to do it on your period because of the smell, Jake would laugh and tell you “mi vida i’ve had to lay under dead bodies, im very certain your period will not put me off” and then you’d murmur sarcastically“ok but my pussy could smell like dead bodies jake”. Marc would be howling with laughter in the headspace and steven is simply wide eyed.

His lips trailed against your neck and you squirmed slightly with a groan, Jake stroked his cock a few times before lining it up with your entrance. Part of him felt awful but he was truly doing this for you.

He clenched his jaw as he sunk himself inside you, immediately feeling your blood leak around his dick and onto his balls but it didnt bother him. In fact it even turned him on. He kept his eyes on your face slowly relaxing and occasionally twitching when Jake hit your g-spot. If it wasn’t obvious already, you’re a very heavy sleeper but when you involuntarily squeezed his cock, he doubled over and whimpered right against your ear causing you to stir awake.

Jake lifted your leg and pushed deeper, if that whimper didnt wake you up then that definitely did. Your hand immediately grabbed his and you whined “f-fuck” your head rolling back and your eyes meeting Jakes “hola cariño” he smirks at you and you only whimper at him, desperately trying to kiss him. He chuckled and leaned down, kissing you passionately “were you hurting bebe? is papi making it all better?” he teases against your lips, stroking his hand over stomach “y-yes!” you moan with your pussy clenching around him again.

His jaw was tight and he was completely oblivious that Marc and Steven had woken up and came to watch him fuck you.

You suddenly turned around making his cock slip out of you. “You okay?” he asks concerned but then his jaw goes slack when you push him down, climbing onto him and wasting no time to sink down onto his cock. He’d never admit it but watching your blood smear onto his lower stomach made him feral. Jake always said blood is blood, he didnt care where it came from it all looked the same to him. He grabbed your hips and pulled you down “Grind on me” he demanded and you mewled “papi i can’t i’ll get-“ you were got off by your own cry as he pulled your hips back and forth. You collapsed onto his chest and followed his movements, his dick rubbing deliciously against your spot that had you seeing white.

He rolled his head back and you took it as your chance to suck onto his neck, leaving him a nice hickey “shit mi amor! cum for me” he reached down and started rubbing at your clit. The combination of his dick hitting your g spot and his fingers rubbing your clit sent you into a hard orgasm “papi!” you screamed and dug your nails into his chest. He growled and calmed with a whimper, thrusting his hips into you before freezing as his cum spilled into you

After a minute of calming down, he rolled you off of him and got on top of you “there there mi vida, all better now si?” he asks as he strokes your tired face. Your eyes fluttering from exhaustion while he stared down at you “keep your legs open for me babygirl” and you spread them a little. You hissed when you felt the cloth he had folded up, wipe across your core and clean you up, Jake whispered praises and grabbed you a new set of panties, putting a night pad on them and sliding them onto you.

You were already falling asleep by the time Jake cleaned himself up and pulled the towels off the bed to put in the wash. He slid back into bed and pulled you against his chest “i love you so so much cariño”.

Ok,, hear me out, 35 w oliver evans?!?!,#?! LIKE!?!?!!

They could be in his classroom and his students can walk in any minute,;, ,,

- ⚡anon!!! ( u can ignore this if u wanna!! Idm :o))!! Also, congrats on 200 followers!!!! U deserve it, cause ur writings?!?!?! R SO. :heart_eyes:, and ur bf is a fucking ass booo eww, u dont deserve him!!!! )

"we might get caught. does that turn you on?"

pairings: oliver evans / m!reader summary: teacher's pet loses his virginity: not clickbait? tw: size difference, TEACHER/STUDENT, age gap(?), voyeurism, exhibitionism, dubcon, manipulative, praise, etc.

notes: i actually gasped when i saw this rq. its been rotting my BRAIN for days. this might be terribly ooc, but this was fun. thank you so much for requesting again ⚡anon! age gap is hinted that oliver is older than you.

she/her + she/they + fem aligned/women DNI.

you sat on the professors desk, heart thumping as he pried your legs open. his gentle eyes raked over your body, your uniform shirt slightly unbuttoned, along with the growing bulge in your pants. the room was empty except for the two of you. it was after class hours, and oliver had asked you to stay behind to speak with him quickly. how could you say no, when he asked so politely?

"you're hard already, and i didn't even touch you yet. don't tell me you've been thinking about this before.." he chuckled at your shocked expression, as you backed away he only moved in further. you never took your teacher to be the teasing type. when you thought about him, on those nights that you fisted your cock and your mind wandered off on its own, you couldn't help but imagine him as a caring, gentle top. in your imagination, he'd hold you so softly, as if you'd crack under anymore pressure. he'd take you to his place, make you dinner and spoil you like a good pet. of course, that teacher of yours only lived in your indulgent virgin fantasies. you couldn't read the man in front of you. oliver still looked as neat and orderly as ever, as if he wasn't the one to lead you to sit on his desk and whisper dirty things in your ear for the past half hour. it was obvious he was hard too, but he didnt even bother to touch himself, his long fingers pinching and grabbing at your body instead. he was gentle, but teasing you relentlessly, loving the way you practically squealed when he whispered and licked the shell of your ear. you could see how he was holding back, letting go little by little. maybe he had some respect for the setting he put you in after all.

"we might get caught. does that turn you on?" he towered over you, making you feel exceptionally small. why was he so big? you shook your head, raising your voice a bit not wanting to give in. "i-it doesn't, i-" oliver pressed his finger against your lips, shushing you. the silence let you pick up on the familiar ambience in the halls, eyes widening. you felt your stomach twist in fear as you heard the footsteps of students outside. oliver didn't back away however, taking the opportunity to snake his other hand around your waist and pull you in closer. you couldnt protest, not wanting to say anything too loudly and draw attention to yourself from onlookers. oliver noted this, smirking as he held you closely. "shh, quiet little one. people might hear you." he laughed again, amused by how flustered and frightened you were.

the older man continued to slowly strip you, unbuttoning your shirt and pushing it aside to play with your chest. his skilled fingers playing and pinching with your nipples, squeezing and watching you intently as you squirmed and moaned. you couldn't help the noises that spilled out, hushed praises of "good boy" and "you're doing so well" in his deep voice only leading you further. whenever he praised you, even during class, you couldn't help the rush of excitement and pleasure that washed over you. you wanted more. more of his praises, more of his sweet voice in your ear, more of his touch. you had forgotten to try and resist, welcoming him when he had slipped his tongue into your mouth. the professor welcomed this, showering you with more praises and obscenities until you could barely think.

"such a good boy i have, hm? maybe even naughty students like you deserve a reward too." oliver hummed, loving how you had quickly given into his special treatment. you reminded him of an obedient little puppy when you excitedly nodded your head yes, whining and begging for something more. he always knew you had a thing for him too, but he never thought you'd admit it like this so quickly. seeing some students peer in, he noted that he should probably pick up the pace, but you barely seemed to register it at all anymore. you were so engrossed in having your teacher's attention on you, you didn't notice how some students peered through the window, shock on their faces at the scene playing in their very own classroom. maybe you were much more of a pervert than you initially thought.

"i can tell you've wanted this, haven't you? poor thing." oliver leaned in to kiss your cheeks, stealing another long kiss from your lips. he would have fun with you, he thought to himself. from the way you were trembling and your pants weren't even off, he couldn't wait any longer, guiding you to lay down on your back and keep your legs spread. unbuckling his belt, he wanted to engrave your flushed, nearly naked expression in his mind for the rest of his life.

after today, you'd be his little pet in and out of the classroom, whenever he wanted you to be - but he thinks you wouldn't mind, anyways.

since im not gonna write it for real heres a hollycinder fic idea i had about cinderheart and berrynose

it takes place before cinderheart and lionblaze cement their relationship + after hollyleaf returns from the tunnels. lionblaze likes her but cindy's still deciding whether or not she likes him enough to want to settle. what she does know is that she likes his sister, hollyleaf. the problem is that she doesnt know if hollyleaf feels the same. the whole situation is driving her CRAZY.

shes on a hunting patrol with her old mentor cloudtail and her other friends hazeltail and mousewhisker and its still bothering her. lionblaze is there too but cinderheart avoids him because her feelings are so complicated.

cloudtail thinks they're fighting and splits the patrol up in pairs, assigning himself with her. she fucks up catching a rabbit and cloudtail gently but firmly tells her to Get Her Shit Together and sends her back to camp. shes sooo embarrassed. when she's done with that she starts Plotting because she doesn't want to get sent back to camp from patrol in front of her crush ever again.

she thinks, you know who else had a thing for two littermates? my good ol brother in law berrynose. he probably knows a thing or two.

the thing is that they're not terribly close. they bonded some over honeyfern's vigil but he wasnt the easiest cat to like and lionblaze still held some distaste for him. nevertheless she pulls some strings with brambleclaw and gets put on a patrol with him the next morning. luckily it's just them and some other warrior (maybe brackenfur, he'd understand if the two of them wanted to talk in private) so she makes her move.

she goes. ummm hey when you were choosing between my sisters. how did you decide?

berrynose is quiet. cinderheart starts to count her losses and then he says "you want hollyleaf and lionblaze dont you."

cinderheart immediately admits to it, says yes, yes, part of her only pursued lionblaze in the first place because deep down she still wanted hollyleaf and he was the closest she could get, had it been like that for him?

berrynose sighs and goes. yeah. at first. but i came around to loving poppyfrost for being poppyfrost you know. and you came around to loving lionblaze for being lionblaze didnt you?

cinderheart thinks about it and realizes, yes, she did. "but if...if honeyfern could have come back the way hollyleaf did, would you have picked her?"

thats about where berrynose gets fed up, shakes his head at her and says he's not going to answer that because it couldnt happen and theres no reason. then he softens a bit at her hurt expression and goes ok look. i cant tell you who to pick. but i will say that honeyfern knew poppyfrost liked me too.

and THEN he says "i dont like a lot of things about lionblaze. but i have to admit he's smarter than i thought"

the third warrior on their patrol calls them back to camp and as cinderheart walks into the clearing she sees them both on opposite sides of camp. the last few sentences would be about her "making her choice and walking toward her future" but it would be intentionally left vague as to who she picks

hazy gray

info : tanjiro x s.h reader

cw: SH,blood,suicidal thoughts, established relationship

a/n: This is mostly for me,im on the verge of relapsing and i jsut wanted to write smth ykwim? This is not proofread and it will probaly be very bad as its my first time writing smth like this<3

wc: 555

૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა ‧₊˚ ꒰ྀི૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა ‧₊˚ ꒰ྀི૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა ‧₊˚ ꒰ྀི૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა ‧₊˚ ꒰ྀི૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა

You were home alone, Tanjiro had left on a mission with Zenitzu and Inosuke, you had been lying in bed for what felt like hours, you couldnt get up. You had no motivaition, no will, nothing left of you to make you want to get up. im so lazy, i cant even get out of bed,im just a waste of space and time. You rolled up your sleeves, looking at the marks that were from old habits..you couldnt...you promised. but what were promises if you were going to die anyways?

You slowly & tiredly moved your figure from out of the bed, stumbling towards the bathroom. im so fucking useless. you didnt bother locking the door as you shut it, you were home alone. Your fingers flicked the switch and light flooded into the room, you kneeled down and opened up a cabinet, sifting through the makeup you found the bag, the one you swore you wouldnt open again, the one with razors.

You messily opened the bag and splayed the razors on the counter, you picked the one that had the least amount of blood and rust on it. Tiredly picking up the razor, you pressed it against your skin untill the skin broke, then you dragged, wincing at the sensation at first. i deserve this, you thought as you made line after line of blood appear on your skin.

The feeling was so sickeningly sweet, the push and pull of your skin made you feel... nothing. nothing. That nothing was exactly what you needed, what you craved. You didnt feel the least bit guilty right now, the peace of the silence in your head and the room was what got you so addicted.

You got so lost in the moment, in your suffocating thoughts that you didnt notice the sound of the front door opening,the sound of footsteps getting closer,and the sound of the door knob clicking.You only noticed Tanjiros apperence at the last moment,shock numbing your body as you subconsciously drop the razor on the floor,your arms behind your back.

"Y/n, whats wrong why do i smell blood?! are you ok?!" Your lover burst through the door,his face quivering with concern. He had smelt your tired & bloodied figure long before he entered the house. "Im fin-" you were cut off by a quiet, almost whispered "why?" Tanjiro had moved forward,his teary eyes flashing from the razors on the counter to the razor that had a pool of blood surrounding it on the floor. "im sorry" was all you said, in truth, you were still numb, numb enough to not care. "no no dont apologize its-your going to be ok" he spoke out, you werent quite sure if it was to assure himself or you. He didnt let you stay on the floor for long as he gently pulled you up by your hand, making sure not the re-open any cuts as he did so. He led you to the bed and told you to stay there, he was back in no time with a towel and bandages. You winced as he pressed the towel against your skin, he mustve put disinfectant spray on it. after bandaging your arms, he pulled you into another hug, both of your tears staining each others cloth.

૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა ‧₊˚ ꒰ྀི૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა ‧₊˚ ꒰ྀི૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა ‧₊˚ ꒰ྀི૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა ‧₊˚ ꒰ྀི૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა

i apoligize if this was bad,i wrote it in a daze and idk if i will even be alive to write anymore so!!!

nocturne review, ramblings

obvs spoilers for the show down below.

so, i'm gonna be real with y'all; i dont think i would have watched this if not for one of my mutuals spilling the beans about alucard making an appearance 💀 s4 was ok and a fine conclusion to the og castlevania that started this animated franchise, but i dont think i will ever get over the absolute fumble and frankly, insulting way they wrapped up s3. even s4 had its cringe moments, like lenore getting a peaceful sendoff and carmilla getting to kill herself. but, i digress. i was going into nocturne with an already negative mindset and that may have made me more critical of the show. can u blame me though? lmao

i had seen a few clips and screenshots on twitter when they dropped the first 3 eps early and... they only helped solidify my decision to remain skeptical of the staff's writing capabilities. shit was already a little hazy and wishy-washy with their portrayal of isaac in s2 and how they treated hector thruought the show (not to mention the two asian-coded characters in s3). let's just say, the netflix castlevania team doesnt have the greatest track record when it comes to writing poc characters. so, when i saw screengrabs just outright stating that this show was going to deal with historically accurate racism? hm.

obvs as a white woman, i can only go so far on this criticism of the writing, but i dont really understand why they needed to include this? the comparisons and allegory of freedom from indentured servitude to the french revolution, was very weak and bare bones at best. you can keep the motif of the church existing on exploitation and blood of the people-- a whole cross section of the world was involved in the crusades, which is the priests & his entourages whole deal--but, why couldnt annette just be a witch? why did this "historical accuracy" need to get involved with the time period? bcuz the french revolution was name dropped? your main villain is a hungarian countess from the 16th century that made a pact with an EGYPTIAN goddess to become all powerful. like.

and also..... why the FUCK are vampires getting involved with the intercontinental slave trade bro??? 😭 theyre immortal beings that have seen the rise and fall of empires and can do whatever tf they want and go wherever tf they want and they choose to..... own a plantation? give af abut the economy? with selling goods??? okkkkk. also, this line of dialogue is insane to me:

you cant have a central theme of your story be standing up against the oppressors and then make said oppressors fantastical monsters. what kills me is that they've delved into the monstrosity of humanity in s1 and s2, and yet, when you bring in one of the most monstrous things humanity has ever done in its history for the sake of historical accuracy, you turn the very perpetrators into something mythical, and evil that the common folk had no chance of ever defeating even if they tried. its just overall, very messy and they certainly were not the creative team to try and tackle something like this.

speaking of, the writing, again, it definitely left something to be desired. there are moments that are good, don't get me wrong. episode 6 is a particular favorite of mine, shining through with its wonderful character moments b/w annette's soul searching with her ancestors, richter and juste's heart to heart, and olrox's confessions to mizrak. tera's sacrifice to ensure maria's safety is also really well done, as well as maria's final confrontation with her father in the church. however, these were fewer and farther between than i would have liked. a lot of the scenes that played out just fine, were ultimately sullied by this series' incessant need to insert swearing into every other sentence. its something that bothered me nearing the end of s4 especially, and i've just grown tired of it. it honestly takes me out of the scene to constantly hear fuck thrown out every 2 seconds for literally... no reason. i promise y'all can write meaningful and impactful dialogue without having your characters swear lmao

the writing itself is what unfortunately makes the first half of the show kind of drag a bit. the story doesn't really know what it wants to do. none of these new characters are really given time to breathe and be really fleshed out, bcuz every time things settle down and we're given the chance to learn more about their motivations, its like they're almost scared they'll lose your attention and any down time is immediately followed up with an intense action sequence. which, dont get me wrong, if theres one thing they dont disappoint with--its the action. but, i dont think that was ever up for debate to begin with. however, i believe that the characters really suffer bcuz of this. if you've never played the games, which, i believe most people tuning in to watch these series never have, you would have no idea who maria or richter are, and, i really don't think they were given enough time to be fleshed out. half the time, richter's dialogue just ends up being naive, walmart trevor belmont sarcastic one-liners and poor maria ping-pongs b/w the blandest, generic, wonderbread toutings of 'revolution' or calling richter a dick, wanker, or anything in b/w. episode 6, one of the better episodes as mentioned previously, is where we really get to see some actual growth around richter especially. there were moments where his trauma could have been further explored earlier, but they kind of got shoved to the wayside in favor of dragging out the interworking bw all the villains. which.....

if i'm gonna talk about the villains. my initial thoughts were that nocturne was going to be a one-and-done, standalone series with its own self contained story that would be wrapped up in these 8 episodes. i was wrong. and i really dont know how they're going to keep this story going. erzsebet is already a very weak and uninteresting and, honestly, confusing ? villain? for more than half of the series, she's talked about as the mysterious and all powerful Messiah and theyre gathering all these sacrifices for her to bring her back and create an army of night creatures. why is she considered powerful? bcause she made a pact with Sekhmet, an egyptian goddess. why did she do this? who knows! why does she have such a devoted cult of loyal followers when she hasnt done anything but kill a lot of people? again, who knows. why did maria's father think that a VAMPIRE would keep him in cahoots during this whole plan and not immediately fuck him over once she got what she wanted...? who fucking knows. olrox is the most interesting of the villains but even he isnt fully explored. the motivations are just not really explained very well and the buildup to erzsebet's arrival was so sudden that i literally thought i missed an entire episode. one minute, shes hiding in the shadows and the next ? waltzing in on a golden chariot and being heralded as the people's savior?? so damn messy and honestly? i really could not have cared less about her. which is insane to say, bcuz shes literally based off of a real countess who's case and life were a special interest of mine. i just... why an EGYPTIAN goddess?? shes from HUNGARY. were there no goddesses in europe to pull from she could have made a pact with? idk man it just makes no damn sense.

i am definitely more than a little peeved that this wasn't even the complete story, bcuz they did such a poor job establishing erzsebet as a villain, that i really dont give af what crazy shit they come up with to extend the story. you show her being a big badass in the very last episode. ok, you as an audience member, are immediately shown why dracula is so feared within the first 10 minutes of the first episode. and all of that wasnt even HIM fighting!!! the worst thing i've seen miss countess bathory do over here is summon a crazy orb and turn into a furry. like, where is the story going to go from here? they fight tera? save edouard and have a night creature alliance? make maria or alucard (yes, i'll get to him) summon the portal again? which btw... machine from HELL? im not even gonna touch that can of worms. somehow bring olrox back to.....? help kill bathory? idfk

and man...... i was hoping against hope that when i found out alucard was going to make an appearance, that it was just going to be some neat little cameo at the v end of the series after the main story had concluded. a little nod, a little treat to the audience that the next series would be encompassing the events of symphony of the night. maybe we'd even get a depiction of maria and richter when theyre older, i dont know, anything but throwing him in there as an overpowered hail mary to save the day. we couldnt just let these new characters figure it out and triumph in their own way? we had to drag him into this, now? i cant even tell you how disappointed i was when i saw that sword pierce drolta. ME! the resident alucard fan since i was like mf elementary school!!! ugh.

i think this is it for me and netflix castlevania lmao im a grumpy old man and miss when it was mainly fun easter eggs to the games, like how they brought in juste or how olrox turns into a big green monster and has an attack that sends flying skulls your way, or the REMIX of RICHTER'S THEME!!! but its just gotten so silly and the writing hasnt gotten any better..... from now on, im going to simply stick to the games that made me fall in love with this series in the first place & let this be the last time i ever feel the need to bitch about new 'netflixvania' content.

so im obviously not gonna go into details here bc i dont really like talking about the real minutiae of the ch/ess job bc im never entirely sure what is or isnt ok to say, but i did bring up the palestinian genocide @ work, and as i said yesterday it went pretty badly

i did get two messages of thanks for being the first person to say something, + one of those people went on to post a really great throughful post with links to sources, etc, and that post only got love! as opposed to mine LOOOL

i experienced a bit of a minor power struggle (??) bc i asked "are we doing anything on Palestine" basically in the "site" section, which is like... you know, blog post ideas, fundraiser ideas, rather than the politics section, and when it became clear we were not going to reach a consensus on it i was like - ok, i think we'd better stop there bc it's a clear no (we have to have a really significant majority to do something + there just wasnt one) so i marked the thread as "resolved" bc i had one question which got one answer (which to be clear doesn't mean anything beyond you get a little "tick" at the side - like, a visual indicator that you dont need to read it, but it's still entirely possible to post in the thread lol but a few people got mad, one guy who dislikes me reopened it bc he was like "i guess everyone should have their say", i reclosed it and said "dont open it again", he didnt reopen it again

i requested people move into the politics section because i didn't want to create friction on a section of work that should imo be entirely site-focused rather than on the politics of anything - "are we doing something re: x" "no" - that's it, no more. it was already segueing into political talk and i literally just didnt ufcking want to hear any of it lmao i heard enough when i heard "no" ? like what else is there to discuss if it's a no? we need everyone's ill-informed stemmy input? (sorry to the stemlords i love x) i think not somehow one of them was like "you created the friction when you closed that thread" (again: not closed, anyone can reopen it lmfao) "you closed it as soon as you saw it wasnt going your way" (??? genuinely these men just make shit up about my motivations) and posted like 3 paragraphs of him explaining why he hated my actions (lol) and i genuinely couldnt be fucking bothered and didnt read it so i just was like "ya everything you said is real thumbsup" and he didnt like that either so what you gonna do

feet vent. lmao. im serious though

ok this is actually the smallest problem i have going on rn but i swear im at a tipping point and this may be my last straw. I am about Ta Explode. Right now.

I have the flattest feet in existence plus a joint disorder so what i have are basically full rectangles for feet. Ive had my current pair of shoes for 5 years i think. Theyre split at the seams, torn apart, the soles are worn, anything you can think of those things are Busted. I need to get new shoes because I can’t walk in these anymore, it hurts like hell. But YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! we went SHOPPING. FOR SHOES. oh swell.

skechers used to be the only brand i could trust to have wide shoes. None were available. I got frustrated. Tried a few more brands. Got even more pissed off. I tried on some converse for fun but i literally started ugly crying in the store when i put them on because they look like SHOE shoes not some excuse of a shoe made of foam like all the other ones ive worn since birth. I had to take them off really fast bc they were digging into my bones. Its still bothering me.

I know there’s no such thing as a normal human body and i wouldnt change anything about who i am right now bc its whats shaped me as a person. But for once i just want some “normalcy”. To not wear the ugliest shoe. For once. This has been going on forever. My elementary school principal used to stop me at the school gates every day to yell at me about wearing the wrong color shoe. I had to explain to her every time that we couldnt find a shoe that fit me in the right color and remind her my mom had spoken to her numerous times since the start of the school year to inform her. Every time, she called my mom again and held me up so I’d be late to class. Gym class was even worse for a million reasons but that’s another topic.

I want to take a walk. I want to hang out with my friends for more than an hour each time. I want to swim, play volleyball, football, whatever the fuck ball or something i dont know. I can’t do that. I just can’t. And I want to, but I won’t ever be able to. And as long as I can’t find new shoes that fit me, i cant do the rest pf the stuff that i normally can. These americans with their long ass thin ass feet dominate the shoe market and im just a fly circling around it. Im sick of it. All my ocs are gonna have box feet and theres nothing anyone can do about it and in THEIR UNIVERSE, GOOD SHOES EXIST.

I wanted to send in an ask for the in-character ask meme for mark but i couldnt think of anything, so instead i ask you to ramble about one of the things regarding mark that makes you lose it! Stuff you're totally so Normal about in a Lying way!! It's so fun hearing about that stuff as well as WHY it makes you lose it, yknow?? does this make sense??? hope it does lmao

k im breaking out this ask cause im doin bad. if you dont know or care about mark dont bother reading htis - i found that sometimes my mark tag shows in the general vtm tag and im sorry.

im so normal about how vampires live forever but also live in constant danger (usually)

on the one hand Mark knows he has eternity

on the other hand he knows that in a few nights it could be his last

but the man lives off denial and so he focuses on the first one.

this intersects w some of his... motivations in interesting ways

for example a main one is who he considers it his responsibility to protect sampson. but ok 1: he is a ghoul, so he'll live forever but does he want to? 2: its a dangerous world so protecting him is a big task and can he do that forever? and 3: what happens if sampson does want to live longer but turns against him either emotionally or in a deeper way? what then.

like basically the situation he's in... can it last forever? probably not. will mark grapple with that fact? No <3 its fine for now cause he isn't even a year in yet but it will be a problem at some point...

another one is serving Julius. so far julius has not asked anything too heinous of him but if there truly is eternity that's not gonna last forever. also, mark doesnt know this, but I Do, that when the pyramid falls, the blood bond may traumatically break but that does NOT mean Julius is gonna let go - only become more coercive, with mark more aware of the shit spot he is in. i am going to go absolutely insane when that happens. mark is gonna have a mc'freakin breakdown and if sampson isnt his friend at this point idk what he will do cause thats the only person in his life who could possibly understand.

Ok and finally just how literally like. ok so. mark struggles against the beast like every kindred does and GENRALLY does well because of a promise to himself after he murdered a guy in hunger frenzy, that once he gets That Hungry (mechanically hunger 4) his top goal will be reducing it and at hunger 3 its one of his highest goals. Like he has to believe he can keep it in check. but with eternity... mistakes happen. like there isnt any way he could prevent himself from ever making a mistake like that again. he is in such denial about it though. and when he fucks up again he'll be forced to accept that it will happen Another time, and Again. itll be so delicious <3 (like the blood i mean what)

Anyways.

mark believes he is taking a long view of things but he truly is NOT. he's just using that idea to Cope. he tells himself he has to settle things in his territory, w sampson, w such and such julius task, then he can sit down, study like he wants to, keep things in check ; but here is the thing. vampire society isnt like that. things are gonna shake up eventually. because you either die fast in one of those shake ups, or you live forever always long enough to see another one.

he is telling himself to just go a little longer, push a little harder, and then he can rest. then itll be ok.

but that might not ever come.

he has to learn some coping mechanisms soon... or have friends. hes not in a place where he could actually step away and get a break.

he's getting there on the friends bit w his coterie mate rose cause she agreed to stop dating Lucky (LOTS OF CONTEXT NEEDED WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT BUT IT IS ) and that meant a lot to him and he'll be more willing to open up to her in the future- but i think that will still require some sort of come-to-jesus moment where hes like. Oh shit im doing really bad actually.

which he is

but if you ask him, he will just say theres a lot going on and he's somewhat stressed <3 omg

anyway thanks @eric-the-bmo for my life

wwait please do tell ur issues with omori if u feel like it. as a somewhat omori enjoyer (<omocat sucks) i wanna see others' opinions as well

ok on my puter here u go. im not gonna write out like. an essay im just gonna list things out in bullet points because thats easier for me so sorry if this is hard to read/understand. quick side note i've played this game around 3 times because i love showing it to people so they can get mad about it with me. i feel like this is important because ive like. actually played the game and not pulling all of this out of a cut down letsplay (also just so no one gets mad at me i pirated it) but also my memory is awful. i am planning to play it again and actively take notes so i can write something more coherent. also putting it under a read more because i didnt realize how much i had to say about this

the story sucks tbh. like its an interesting concept that could have been done in an extremely impactful way but i felt nothing. like i didnt care about mari and i didnt care about sunny because he had like. no personality outside of "silent main character everyone likes". like if you dont care about mari the whole story falls apart. it relies very heavily on you caring about the two of them which is FINE but they do a really bad job of making me actually give a shit.

hero got like fucking nothing in the story and that bothers me like. outside of sunny we should have seen how mari's death impacted him the most because. you know. THEY WERE DATING? but we never get to spend time with hero. like all he is is "the nice one" i wish we got to see. anything with him but i swear they just weren't allowed to have him express emotions that werent extremely mild or something. actually now that i think about it it feels like hero was an after thought in like. everything. his dream word ability is barely used and when it is it feels like anyone could have done it. have it literally just be that he can flip switches is stupid. you could remove hero from the game and it would impact nothing.

AUBREYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY the church confrontation scene was like. GENUINELY GOOD? and then after that they just forget to do anything with her. like it pisses me off how that scene was actually good and the only part that genuinely got me to feel anything and then she just gets nothing. like her "bully" scenes are pretty good and i genuinely sympathized with her but it kind of felt like. you werent supposed to? idk if that makes sense because you totally WERE supposed to feel bad for aubrey but having the kel high fives directly after multiple scene where you make her cry felt so. fucking weird. maybe that was the point idk. aubrey's my favorite character i wish omocat knew how to write

SPEAKING OF KEL. I REALLY REALLY DONT LIKE HOW THE GAME TREATS HIM. he's supposed to be the comic relief but like. EVERY joke is either "kel is gross/stupid" or "aubrey is mean to him for no fucking reason" and it gets old really fast because he's just a kid??? like him and aubrey are just mean to each other thats their whole thing which is FINE i GUESS but its not funny?? its just incredibly mean spirited and not fair to him as a character. why couldnt he have just been silly without the game seemingly hating him for trying to have fun. like most of his moveset is based around being annoying its. its weird man idk. also the fact this is a fucking item in the game

when i got this for the first time i put my head in my fucking hands man this sucks.

Basil. basil could have been an EXTREMELY interesting character but hes just so. whiny. it gets old really fast. the final fight with him was pretty good i guess. i dont have much to say about him sadly because i just like. dont remember. nothing with him stuck with me. OH WAIT the black space bit where you repeatedly kill him in extremely gruesome ways was. kind of fucking weird. because hes 10. it was unnecessary like if you REALLY wanted the fact that sunny is trying so hard to repress anything that reminds him of what he did to be represented through basil dying you could have just done it a couple times idk. weird scene.

ok moving on from characters the art is. a lot. its very hard to tell the dream world party members apart because omocat just has really bad same fact syndrome, it doesnt help that they all have the same color palettes. speaking of color palettes why do the overworld sprites white wash kel and hero. its less noticeable with hero but like. come on man its not hard to color pick your own art

still on the art the fact everything moves is fun in concept but REALLY distracting in execution. theres been multiple fights (specifically sweetheart, the king crawler and humphrey) where i've gotten awful headaches and had to take a break because i felt sick from all the movement lol. also the animation for releasing energy does NOT help who thought making the screen shake that much was a good idea dear god. like seriously this game needs to have some kind of warning

using sweetheart as an excuse to talk about how the dream world its such a fucking slog. i UNDERSTAND the point is that sunny is doing everything in his power to not reach the truth so he creates roadblocks but oh my goddddddd its so annoying to constantly have the plot take a backseat so we can go to a wedding or go to a casino or GO IN THAT STUPID FUCKING WHALE. the fact that there is a fucking mod that removes the humphrey segment should say enough. like that part in particular was soooooo fucking bad. its so boring. the humphrey fight has THREE FUCKING PHASES. I DONT KNOW WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA BUT THEY SHOULD BE KILLED. ITS AN AWFUL EXPERIENCE

the emotion system is an interesting idea but i wish they did more with it. once you figure out that everyone has one theyre best with you stop playing with them. it stopped being fun to battle because its just make aubrey angry -> make sunny sad -> make kel happy -> have hero do fucking nothing -> hit them. idk maybe they could have had like. special emotions for boss fights?? im not sure how that'd work but i wish they added little twists every now and then to keep all the battles from feeling the same.

the real world isnt much better honestly. all the aubrey shit made me angry and the battles are so weirdly unfair its just not fun. like it doesnt penalize you for losing real world battles but its like. idk they suck. also the fact it doesnt tell you food doesnt heal you in the real world fucked me up when i first played because i was so used to the dream world i spent all my money on soda and then spent the entirety of the real world on like 1 hp i cant add spoilers on tumblr so animal harm/death and suicide warning for this next part. if you dont want to read that theres nothing else after it so youre good to just stop reading now

i dont like the black space. like i briefly went over it in the basil segment but it left such a bad taste in my mouth. especially the part where you are seemingly "forced" to cut your fucking cat open as it begs you to free it and the only way to not hurt it is to kill yourself?? ok.

speaking of which the fact the only way to leave the dream world and wake up is to kill yourself complete with a little sound effect is weird to me. idk man omori is 10 im not exactly keen on watching a child kill himself several times.

honestly the games handling of suicide is gross to me. obviously i dont think you should never talk about suicide i think its a very important topic but they way its handled in omori is almost. glorified? idk if that the right word. omori/sunny can kill himself so many times in this game and i just found that a little weird. also basil can kill himself and you can see his body just. sitting there. ok im running out of writing steam if i think of anything else i'll make another post or you have any follow up questions let me know im gonna go watch scott the woz

Ronancetober Day 4

this is a bit I pulled from my Slasher Camp AU, hope you enjoy

prompt: horror movie au

--

It was damp, even this deep into the cave, and so fucking dark Robin wouldn’t have been able to see her hand without their flashlights.

Nancy was a few feet ahead of her, her own flashlight pointed down the tunnel.

“Hey, Nance, should we maybe go?” Robin said, jogging to catch up with her. “Not that I don’t want to find out what’s down here, it’s just no one knows where we are, and with all the disappearances, I just want to be safe.”

“We’re going to be fine, Robin,” she said, not even bothering to look at the other girl. “It’s just a cave system, they have these all over the world.”

“Yeah, but not every cave system is creepy, and right underneath a camp where people are going missing!”

Nancy stopped, and Robin almost crashed into her. 

“The hell was-“

Nancy’s hand slapped over her mouth, and she shoved the taller girl into one of the offshoot tunnels, switching their flashlights off.

“Nancy, what are you-“ “Shut up!” She hissed, pressing harder on Robin’s mouth. “Listen.”

Ignoring the hand still covering her mouth, she focused her ears, waiting to see what Nancy was so freaked out about. She couldn’t hear anything, and was about to smack the other girl’s hand away, snap at her for the stupid joke.

Then she heard it.

It was faint, but she could hear the sound of something coming towards them, shuffling footsteps and light wheezing.

Both of them were frozen, Nancy’s hand dropping from Robin’s mouth to grip her shirt. Robin couldn’t breathe, eyes trained on the main tunnel that was barely four fucking feet away from them.

The cave started to get lighter as the footsteps got louder, and Robin could faintly see the shadow of whoever was coming towards them.

Nancy sucked in a breath when they were almost to their hiding spot, and Robin pressed herself even harder against the wall.

A robed, masked figure in all white walked past, and Robin’s eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw the ominous red spatters on the fabric.

The white figure kept walking, until the light got dim enough that it was almost dark again.

“Jesus,” Robin whispered. “Jesus fuck.”

The footsteps came back, getting closer, again, and both of them froze. This time, she could hear the sound of something being dragged across the stone ground, something heavy.

Nancy was squeezing her shirt so tight her knuckles were white, and Robin hadn’t breathed in nearly thirty seconds.

The noise stopped. All of it.

Robin blinked a few times, the light was still there, had they been spotted?

Her downward thought spiral was cut off when something was dropped just in front of the entrance to their hiding spot.

Nancy jumped, and Robin felt her hide in the taller girl’s shirt. Robin saw why seconds later.

She nearly puked.

A corpse was staring right at them, eyes open and unseeing, head caked with blood. There was a slash across the poor kid’s throat, a horrifying caricature of a smile.

She recognized the kid, it was one of the missing campers, Jack Henry. He’d gone missing two days after Will.

The body was dragged way, it felt like his eyes were following Robin as they moved, and she stayed entirely still until it was pitch black in the tunnels again.

“We have to go,” Robin said, voice thin and strained. “Nancy, we have to go right now.”

The shorter girl was trembling, fingers still curled into Robin’s shirt, and Robin swore she could hear faint whimpers coming from her. 

“Nance, hey, you need to focus right now,” she said, gently patting her back. “We can break down when we’re out of here, back at camp, but right now you need to focus.”

It took a few seconds, time they didnt have, but eventually she pulled back, staring at the floor.

“You’re right,” she said, and her voice was so dull Robin wanted to just hug her again, keep her in her arms until she felt safe, but she couldnt. Not right now.

“Ok, come on,” she said, peeking out around the corner.

There was a dim light towards the end of the tunnel, but far enough away that they would make it if they ran.

“On three,” she whispered, and held up her fingers, flashlight in her hand and ready to go.

One. Two. Three.

They bolted, running like their lives depended on it (which they honestly did), retracing the path they had taken to get here.

Robin heard someone running behind them, and she ran faster, Nancy right next to her.

“There!” Nancy said, pointing to the cave entrance, and they ran for it, stumbling out of the mouth of the cave into the daylight.

“He’s still coming!” Nancy said, and grabbed Robin’s hand, dragging her in the direction of camp. “Move, Robin!”

Her heart was jackhammering in her chest, her lungs felt like they were going to explode, and when they finally got back to the camp, they collapsed against one of the cabin walls.

“Jesus fucking christ,” she swore, flashlight still in her hand, knuckles white. “Jesus fucking christ, he’s killing them.”

Nancy hadn’t said anything yet, and Robin turned her head to see her staring straight ahead, practically frozen solid.

She reached out to tap her shoulder, jerking her hand back when Nancy flinched. Tears were welling in her eyes, and Robin muttered, “Fuck it,” before pulling the other girl into her side, arms going tight around her body.

Nancy tensed, like she’d been electrocuted, before slumping into Robin’s arms. Robin’s arms tightened around her when she started to cry, her own tears soon falling down her cheeks.

Shadow and bone first ep review.

I watched exactly 30 munites of it and got so bored i almost cried . I didnt pay attention to jack shit . It was so boring that i managed to have an atleast 15 munites long very passionate converstation about if a person can be 1/3 asian when discusing how the main chick didnt look even 1/2 asian. It lead to another concersation about the difrence between a geometrical and an arithmetic number sequence because apparently your family tree evolves in a geometrical with a1 being 2 and it progresses in powers off two and thats why no matter what you do you cant be 1/3 of something (yes not even 2/6 i know it might seem obvious but i just never thought of it that way) . Also the one thing i remeber about season one was the wierd thing with the russians and the asians , which screams anti comunism but ok . Now aparently the 1/2 asian chick went to some black people country and they all heroically sacraficed themselves to save the white girl which is also a little mehhh .

I didt remeber any of the main cast besides kez , who has an easy name and is a littrealy a fucking peaky blinder trapped in a book adaptetion and inej but only because i just really like saying the name inej. That boring dude and the main chuck made me want to bang my head against a wall they were so boring i dint care about the at all .The little twink that the gun dude is fucking was the only intresting part because i really wanted to see if their reletionship would be wierd and if the twink would get infantalised . I couldnt bear to watch enough to figure out because i got bored . He was very tiny looking and very baby and i think if they give him a sound personality that isnt just bottom™️ they could rock this because if you include a very young effeminate soft man in your story that is getting fucked by an older more dominant guy the twink should have other characteristics besides baby little slut so its not wierd and creepy and predetory .He looked like an abselute baby , and not in a cute way in a way that its wierd for me to watch but then again i have no idea what his character is like . If hes like an actuall human being im cool with it .

Since i absolutely had no memory of season one i couldnt follow any of the fucking stuff that was going on , never mind the fact that the plot jumed so fucking fast between so many character , all of which no one bother to provied us with a reason to care about , and was so hectic while simultaneously doing nothing to maintain the viewers intrest. Over all all the interactions where so painfully taken out of a romance book it hurt my soul. The sharing a bed trope was so fucking forced , and so is any interaction between the 1/2 asian girl and ben barns because the enemies to lovers trope just slaps you in the face every other line . The graphics where shit as well

Over all . Yeah . Its a bad show . Its boring and its forces it self and it sucked . Dont watch it .

hello assigned Tumblr sibling, I could wait for ur response but I have been struck with the need to know ur opinion on Anders and on Zevran. separately not like a one opinion, I need two opinions

Hello! Forgive me for not answearing for so long... i have been consumed by void of life and social anxieties and i am only now able to dig myself out. I will be delighted to spew out my opions on Boys.

So Anders, gotta be honest when i first played DA2 he was kinda ok, but you know nothing earth shattering, panties dropping. But that because i was dead spłukana, nie pamiętam jak to jest po angielsku, byłam spłukana and i couldnt afford any dlc so i didnt played dao awekening. Ah DAO Anders how could you not love him! I still remember his "umm it wasnt me" or how he explain how convinient skirts are when you plan a quick tryst among the books.

When you play DAO and then da2 it kinda hits you how much he changed and how much nobody helped Anders. When i think about him I cant help but feel sad. Because for all that talk about how gang is so tight and like a family, none of them helped Anders. They often treated him like a joke, haha anders left his manifesto again, that crazy son of a gun haha! But then we met Justice and while it is crazy that he is possessed by spirit, you cant really do anything about it. You cant tell Anders he is losing control you cant propose to help him to get rid of justice, you cant reason with him that this is unhealthy and he needs to stop.

All of it, it kinda feels like none of the gang really looked after Anders, as if they were like "haha yeah that anders he is kinda crazy dont mind him" but they didnt really bother to realise he needs help, that he is losing himself

It all makes me.... really sad, really disapointed in Hawke too, i didnt romance anders but fuck if i did that would be double fuck up

Zevran, well Zevran is a delight isnt he!

I didnt romance him in my first playthrough, because i heard you can become queen and i was obssessed with that possibility. But i must admit I must have watched all possible romance videos about him on yt.

And i remember that dialog he have if you recruit Loghain "I report i failed assassinasion attemt! I am horribly heartbroken over it." It just made me laugh out loud!

Honestly i didnt wrote much for dao, but in my head i had a special au just for zevran, where female dalish elf become grey warden together with tamlen who survives the whole ordeal. They are a married, getting quick hurried ceremony right before Duncan whisk them away, but their dalish sensibility make it so nobody even suspect they are married. And then Zevran shows up. He finds bought Tamlen and warden to be terribly attractive and start to actively flirting with them and then even some more, not knowing they are in fact an item.

Until finally he realise he kinda caught feelings for both of them and sits them down to explain and to beg for forgivness because he cant possibly decided between two of them.

The two just stare at him like "Ummm we didnt tell you? shit we forgot! so we are actually married and we kinds decided to seduce you and we thought you knew?" And so this way Zevran ended up becoming a filling of dalish sandwich, and become so love by two people that sometimes he lay between them going like "????????????????????"

ok i kind went ham on this way more than i was expecting to so um. page break LOL

⬇️wrote all this first, then the above lines afterward

more vagueposting in the same vein but

wow. i dont have the words for how i am feeling and continuing to feel and i keep trying to pretend that it's something like "im losing my mind" but in fact i have literally never felt more sane about this. i have never felt so aware and understanding and like it all makes perfect sense as i do now. i have never been so able to reflect on overcoming a fear that lasted so long but i barely even registered it as such until recently. every time i have tested the waters up until this point i was immediately dealt a strong urge to completely abandon ship and immerse myself in something that i could guarantee not to remind me of it but now all of a sudden even when i expected that to happen it didn't. and then i tried it again two nights later still expecting to wake up in the morning wanting nothing to do with it and i didn't. and again today and i just think that maybe it is actually for real. maybe i actually genuinely might have possibly truly overcome my fear of falling back in and losing myself again which had been gripping me for an entire year without me even truly realizing it. and not only is that part of it weird to recognize but also it is actually entirely unfamiliar to me because i also no longer fear what i dont know. things ended up the way they did last year in part because i was so afraid of not knowing things for sure and i ultimately let that fear take over and by the time i even barely started to realize how much i had lost my sense of self i had already caused so much pain that i couldnt see because i could only focus on my own pain caused by my fears. because prior to that point i could only ever appease the parts of myself that were still insecure by not allowing myself to believe what was actually true all along. i spent years forcing myself to not even consider it and it's not that i regret because past is past and things had to go in the way that they did for reasons i may not be able to directly comprehend and they still do so but it's not about Knowing Why. it's about accepting what you know to be true and trusting in that truth and moving forward with it. i couldnt have ever possibly been healthy about this until i stopped asking Why and always waiting for something outside of myself to determine what the truth was. i had to learn to find my own answers through observation and to trust myself enough to believe that what i was seeing and the sense i was making was valid and real and Enough. and even now that i can do so i still can say there's so much i dont know and so many things that i dont know enough about to explain or define or extrapolate from but the difference is that it doesnt bother me anymore. it doesnt bother me that i dont know what any given person is thinking of me or that i dont have a concrete plan of what my life will look like. and it doesnt bother me that i dont know every single possible factor that is making it so that i can listen to my favorite band again without an immediately following adverse reaction for the first time in a year at surface and honestly the whole fucking time to be completely fucking real with you. it doesnt bother me that my entire belief system revolves around unanswerable questions and imperceivable reasoning because i trust myself. i trust in the fact that i am not and will never be in complete control of everything that makes up the concept of Myself and it doesn't bother me at all because it simply just means i have nothing to worry about. i don't have to be anxious and i don't have to be afraid of the unknown because i know that it's unknown for a reason. and that reason isnt mine to define nor is it anyone elses responsibility to do so. and even though the idea of all this isnt anything new to me, until now i would still not be able to help myself from thinking of the If Only. if only i could somehow make other people see what i see. if only other people knew what i had learned and could see things the way i see them then they wouldn't have to be anxious or afraid anymore either. but that just simply is not

something i can do. that is not something i am meant to do. if it were that easy we'd all be helping each other out in that way but it's not and there is nothing for us as individuals to do other that acknowledge that truth as such and work around it. and god ive always known that this isnt really about the band and it really isnt about him and if i go the entire rest of my life without us ever having another conversation well i would be just fine. i would still do what makes me happy and fulfilled and i would still enjoy my life and it wouldnt bother me because id still be trusting in myself and id know that thats what is meant for me. it's just the thing about it is ive known that for over a year now and ive understood that to be a potential outcome but i just dont think i can say "and ive accepted it as a possible truth" because that just isn't how the truth works. there isnt a "possible" truth, there is simply the truth. there is one string connecting through every single moment of time that can only be described as "this is how it happened" and that is what the truth is. and we as humans don't get to identify the truth until it has passed, yet we spend so much time coming up with possibilities and preparing ourselves for 1000 different outcomes of which we think the truth might look like and all 1000 of them are inaccurate because we just aren't capable of doing that kind of thing. and i could say what i said before to someone and it would be a fairly normal thing to say to anyone because we all make these kinds of claims but when you believe wholeheartedly that you arent in control of the truth it just feels like a sad excuse for a defense mechanism. "oh i'll just say it like this so he can see that im open and accepting of the future regardless of how it turns out" like sorry not sorry but that kind of thinking is what made me fall into a hole in the first place. not only was i focusing on someone else OVER myself but also. I DONT GET TO CONTROL WHAT SOMEONE ELSE THINKS!!! And once again!!! You dont need to feel bad or anxious about what other people think of you. You have to acknowledge the truth - that you can't control them - and WORK!!! WITH!!!! IT!!!!!!!

and at this point the only truth i know is this. This band was put into my life for a reason. That man was dropped in front of me. ok more like i was dropped in front of him but whatever who cares semantics. To impact my life in such a way that facilitated all the growth that got me to this point. It doesnt matter "whether it would have happened if i hadnt met him" because there is only one way things happened. There is only one string of truth threading all of these moments together. I dont need to justify my adherence to the truth with "Even if x thing happens" because literally who cares none of us can do anything about that and pretending that we are somehow capable of completely controlling things is literally the root of all conflict in this world. And there are still plenty of things i dont know. Even about this situation. Even about myself. and there are a lot of things i will never know. but i know what my favorite band is. and I know that for the first time in my entire life i can listen to them and be healthy at the same time. so that's wild

I was scrolling through my pictures and found a guide for things to study to prepare one of my students for moving to america

Its pretty detailed and makes me wonder if im getting stupider as time goes on because i forgot about several things that i came up with without even researching 2 years ago

While looking at it i remembered

The boy asked me actually. He asked me about school in the states and he was worried about some of the classes. I tried to put his mind at ease for the transition and assure him that he’ll have help for most things.

He was half white and his dad was american. His dad was a writer actually and he told me about his books during a speaking test. So he spoke english fluently. Actually that was something he was worried about. He said his dad told him he has an accent - he really didnt.

But on that I started to ask him about things we do in English class back home. He had no idea about even the basics. Not surprising. They dont do things that involve critical thought in japanese schools.

I started briefly explaining some things to him and told him id make him a guide

Then. We were cut off

The teacher came and told me he needed to go eat lunch.

Later she came and apologized to me because he told her that he asked me for advise and that he was nervous realizing that he wasnt prepared for American English classes.

She thought i just went to talk to a kid. Stopped him from going to lunch. And was stressing him out.

Not because i do that but because thats how japanese teachers see foreigners here. Being weird idiots that bother ppl

And the thing is id forgotten about that till just now.

I HATED that feeling as an ALT. Im s weird person - but not a fucking weirdo who harasses children to talk me. I hated when the teachers tried to make me do that. And i hated when they assumed thats what happened whenever a student came to talk to me.

Theyd always look worried and annoyed when students were talking to me and theyd shoo them away. And i couldnt say its ok or anything. I couldnt say or do anything. Just smile and encourage the kid that the jaapnese teacher had a good reason for telling them to not talk to me

The thing is. I liked the teacher i just mentioned. She was one of the nicest ones i worked with as an ALT. I forgot about all the shitty times with her. She got nicer to me after my mom died. All the teachers did. I noticed and i know. But somewhat also forget.

It took a horrible thing for them to see me as a human. And to just look at what i do as another person and not a strange alien they must protect the children from.

I came to japan for a paid vacation. I wanted to explore and enjoy traveling going to concerts meeting ppl and just having a good time.

Id planned to go home and take care of my mom. I thought i could write stories while i was here and look for a job back home.

Then corona hit and ruined everything. I never even got to see my mom again

Never got to feel stability

Now the money ive saved up is worth half the value back home

I have nothing to fucking show for my time here

I cant afford to go back to america

My moms not there

I dont even have a house to return to

Im so much worse off now than when i left if i go back

But i also cant deal with that degrading treatment again. Even as a legit teacher in a school working through a company middleman im treated as less than.

As an ALT i was treated like a fucking idiot mascot play toy. Like equipment. Not a person.

And as a native teacher - last year - god do you know how fucking annoying it is to have ppl who can’t speak your native language tell you whats correct?!? To be told to keep students in line, motivate them, teach them, and entertain them all while having someone undermine you at every turn. Them complain the students dont respect you. I mean that was only with 5 kids in 432 students. And thats the other fucking problem. Last year my schools students were wonderful. They were friendly smart motived and kind. Except 2 bitchy girls and one boy - the girls turned like 3 more kids in their class against me. But the rest of my students liked me. And because the PE turned English teacher didnt like english he bitched about me and used those few kids against me. I have more than 420 actively improving their assignments and having full english conversations with me. I have the two loud classes all the teachers hate because they refuse to do their work - coming to me and asking if they did my assignments correctly and asking when they need help - but because a handful of kids dont like me - that teacher turns me into a bad guy and gets me the boot.

And thats the shit to expect with even the better job i have.

The school im not rn has a native teacher who uses his charisma to make life better for the native teachers at the school. This is the best im gonna get

I cant find another job. Im trying but too many ppl want to come to japan rn

I really cant afford to go back home

And im entirely out of the patience to be treated like a fucking slave. Literally at this point. Between the shit wages that keep going down and high costs. I cant afford the shit job that wants me to act like the japanese assholes dog. Treating me however they want and i have to just smile back

I want my mom. I want to go back to when i had my pets and my house and lived near my friends.

I keep saying it but its true. Im living the future that i used to have in my nightmares and wake up screaming from. I want to wake up again back before 2011