i’ve just finished season one of TMA, and being someone who’s okay with spoilers is fun because it means i can peruse the wiki and scroll through the tag and i get to become privy to all sorts of weird, wonderful, halfway-out-of-context information that i get to look forward to understanding in the future

like. what do you mean Leitner’s in the tunnels?

what do you mean Jon eats the extinguished sun??

what do you mean it’s spelled Gerard Keay???

not having a campaign website + profile through the state voter info site is almost always a disqualifier, but for the rare double whammy, be sure to have a heavy, unconnected internet presence revealed when i google your email where you are revealed to be 1) an insane bigot and 2) as seen on TLC

Our first outfits.

Me: as many arcanist-related motifs as I own; random dyes

Azandar: random motifs (except for the boots); random dyes

Fate favored us today.

💬

You know how they say you can treat college freshmen like kindergartners and you get great results?

Same thing is true for tv news anchors of all ages.

At my old station I had one anchor who hated "We Don't Talk About Bruno" so whenever they were misbehaving I found an excuse to work it into the broadcast. Also had an anchor who hated "Baby Shark." It's effective newsroom control.

But no really we're in a #6 market. All I got to say is "heads up seven up" and they all stop their non-work convos and give me their undivided attention.

EH????

i went through this account’s handful of videos from this show, and i’m pretty confident that’s will roland, next to harrison chad as quince, despite the view being mostly obstructed from the angle this whole time. he’s Most Visible for a moment at the very end lol. since the costuming is just a buttonup and tie w/no especial “it’s This character, or Any character” cues, i’ll guess he’s “will roland” at this point, though that doesn’t mean he wasn’t appearing in some other capacity earlier. every pre-2018 xmas wrole cited in that tweet has been accounted for, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been some of those characters more than once, as is definitely true for uncle peenie appearances

Ok this is incredibly niche but I just remembered this and it made me laugh a LOT.

So in 2005 there was some delay in the CW showing the season 5 finale of Gilmore Girls (maybe a baseball game went late?). The 9:00 news came on immediately after, and I guess when people recorded the finale on TiVo (remember TiVo?! We never had it but it always seemed so high tech to me) got the last 5 or so minutes cut off because the programming said “okay! Gilmore Girls ended at 9!” For some reason WGN News got a lot of those complaints and people were really upset to miss those last 5 minutes. So two of the anchors put on really bad wigs and costumes, one played Luke and the other played Lorelei, and they acted out the last 5 minutes of the finale so that people didn’t “miss out”. Does anyone else remember this??

World of Interiors did a feature on this guy's absolutely swagged out Mercedes snail soupmobiles along the Tangiers beachfront, and ends it with trying to collect a commission from purchases of an acrylic Jonathan Adler snail objet.

This is the future of media.

Hey EBS, when are we getting “the not so interesting analog circus”?

Gibson shit talking Maya about "stealing" an open captain position from Andy while he's fucking a married woman. This man is truly a clown for half this show.

It would be bullshit not to consider all lieutenants. And if Andy did get the position while messing around with Sullivan that's more suspect. Obviously that's not her intentions at all, but it has to be considered because it is a factor that's on the table.

"Warning Signs Your Machines Are Trying to Kill You!" by TJ Klune

(Legally, I’m required to tell you that when smart phones first became popular, I bought one and then asked for the address of the app store because I thought it was a physical location I had to go to in order to download apps and not something already on your phone. Also, I was recently told I speak like an old person so as a warning, there will not be any slang you youths typically hear, especially on Tumblr. Any slang I’ve learned in the last five years has been against my will. I still don’t know what FOMO means, and I don’t care.)

1. Oh no! You and your family are trying to enjoy a movie night, but Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) wants a sacrifice at the altar of their god, BeeZos. Should this happen, do not attempt to give Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) a cantaloupe with googly-eyes on it and say that it is your baby. Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) knows the difference between fruit and children. Instead, ask the machine to order dog food, and it will forget about eating humans for a little while.

2. If you own a very fancy vehicle that can drive itself, always make sure to carry a brick. That way, when the car locks you inside and attempts to drive you off a cliff into a gas station, you can break the window using the brick. You will then have to jump out, but make sure you do so in time so you can watch the wicked-ass explosion when the car hits the gas station, and you can revel in your victory over your car.

3. This one will hurt. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Chances are, you’re reading this on your phone right this second. To be safe, after you’ve finished reading this post and have clicked on the affiliated links to purchase my books, you should throw your phone into a volcano and then move to South Dakota where there are no machines, only wind and cows. That way, when everyone else gets the 5GZombieVirus that people on Twitter (I’m not calling it the other thing, shut up) seem to think is real, you’ll be safe with your cows on a windy day.

4. Get rid of your air fryer. Don’t ask me why, just do it. Red flags all around. Danger, danger.

5. Do you know of the Clapper? That thing first launched in the late 20th century (I wrote it that way to make me feel old) where the commercials showed cranky old people unable to reach their light switches, so they got a thing called a Clapper that turns your lights on and off when you clap? Guess what? Those will be the first things to try and kill you. If you love your gram-gram, save her from the Clapper. When she asks why you are destroying it with an ax, tell gram-gram it’s because you love her.

6. Do you live in a smart home? The kind where everything is connected to the internet, including your refrigerator? The refrigerator that holds your perishable foods? And oh, would you look at that: how many ice cubes have you kicked under it rather than picking them up when they fall to the floor? A dozen? A million? The refrigerator remembers. And it will spoil your food in seconds. What then? What are you going to eat? Canned food? Not if the refrigerator falls on top of you!

Unfortunately for you, this is where it must end. I hope this has given you enough information to help you survive the inevitable. If you do not heed my warnings, well. Who cares. I’m not in charge of you. Do whatever you want. Just don’t come complaining to me when gram-gram gets the clap.

It makes perfect sense, but I find it somewhat disconcerting that the CBC is using the exact same graphic in their article on medication management over Ramadan as is on the wall of my doctor’s office.

guy was about to attack me haha suddenly the idea of working totally alone in a train station isn't so appealing

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