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lovelessrage · 6 months

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The world if more people thought about, considered, and gave time to afamilial aros.

#afamilial #aromantic #afam #aro #afamspec #arospec #aspec #scowl corner

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ryanyflags · 1 month

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What is familial attraction?

No this isn't a debate post. (Just wanted to get that out of the way)

So I've gotten asks about being afamilial (like afam-spec versions of my other a-spec flag sets). And I've read it on this wiki, and have seen it mentioned in other posts.

But I still don't get entirely get it.

It wouldn't feel right making flags (and I guess kind of coining terms) for something I don't understand. And I also would like to learn for myself (might be me?), and it'd probably just be a good thing to know in general.

Would anyone want to elaborate in the comments or reblogs (asks are okay too, if you want to use anon).

#familial attraction #afamilial #afamspec #aspec #question #also I don't really know how to pronounce it either #I keep accidentally spelling it as “familiar” but it's with a -l not -r #anyone want to help with that too?

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mlp-friendship-isnt-magic · 2 months

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Prefacing this by saying this doesn’t really have much to do with aplatonicism, but I wanted to do it anyway.

Okay, so there are, like, pages and pages of asexual and aromantic symbols, and there are a decent amount of aplatonic symbols (we could have more, but whatever), but there aren’t really symbols for other anattractional identities. You know,

Analterous

Aqueerplatonic

Anaesthetic

Asensual

Afamilial

Probably a whole bunch I’m forgetting

And there needs to be symbols. Because hey, isn’t half the fun of being aspec having a bunch of obscure stuff to represent yourself?/hj. I tried coming up with stuff by myself, but I quickly figured out that was going to be a lot of work. So I’m letting other people do it for me! Here’s a Google Forms where you can submit ideas. I’ll make a post with all the submissions I got after I get a decent amount of responses.

#aspec #anattractional #anattractional spectrum #analterous #analtspec #aqueerplatonic #aqpspec #asensual #asenspec #afamilial #afamspec

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atertiary-culture-is · 6 months

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Atertiary culture is being tired of people acting like tertiary/nonrose relationships such as friendship and family are mandatory, even if they acknowledge that romance and sex are not mandatory.

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tertiary-attraction-archive · 19 days

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Bellusfamilial

[PT: Bellusfamilial]

Bellusfamilial, is a microlabel on the afamilial spectrum defined as one who has interest in certain familial actions, the aesthetic of familial relationships, and/or aspects of familial relationships, but does not feel familial attraction and does not want a familial relationship.

Familial Attraction Description(link)

[ID: none yet]

[Tags] @radiomogai & @liom-archive

DNI in pinned post please read before interacting!

#🧪 mod post #💊 emotion based #Bellusfamilial #afamilial #afamspec #aspec #Familial Attraction #Familial #aroace #tertiary attraction #mogai #mogai term #mogai coining #Liomogai #liom #liom term #liom coining

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plato-repulsed-culture-is · 6 months

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Plato repulsed culture is wanting to follow aspec blogs but they only tag for romance and sex mentions, not platonic/friending/family mentions. So you just can't because it grosses you out.

YEAH this is literally part of why I have asexual and aromantic and aspec tumblr tags filtered even though Im aro myself

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androaspec-drivel · 1 year

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Curiosity has struck him in his poll fever.

#polls #aromantic #asexual #aplatonic #afamilial #analterous #anaesthetic #asensual #aspec #arospec #acespec #aplspec #afamspec #analtspec

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aspec-culture · 14 days

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Do you except asks from other aspec identities? (Aplspec, anaespec, asenspec, afamspec, aphysspec, aemospec, analtspec, aqplspec etc.)

Yes! Yes of course!

That is literally what the blog is for!

#aphysspec #anaespec #afamspec #Aplspec #aemospec #analtspec #aqplspec #aspec

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watercolormogai · 2 years

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FAMILIAL ATTRACTION!

—> familial attraction is attraction towards people that you see as family / who are your family / who you want to be your family , or the desire to be in a familial relationship with someone . while it is most common , you don't necessarily have to be legally / blood related to someone to feel that attraction towards them , and you don't have to feel that attraction towards people you are legally / blood related to . feeling less than the normal amount of familial attraction (or not feeling it "correctly" , like if you don't feel familial attraction towards people you are related to but feeling familial attraction towards people you aren't related to) would be afam-spec

—> the stripes fading from intense to near-white are meant to represent high amounts of familial attraction to little / no amounts of familial attraction . the stripes are yellows and oranges because that's the color "family" is in vy mind idk V have synesthesia

—> requested by no one

#afamilial #aspec #afamspec #mogai #mogai safe #mogai coining #coining #coining post #flag coining #term coining #mogai community #liom #liom label #mogai label #mogai identity #liom identity #liom community #liom coining

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aspec-identities · 2 years

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Caedfamiliar

[Id. Image on the top of it is written caedfamiliar in bold black text. On the left is the caedfamiliar flag. The top stripe is a dark red, and the next three stripes are all slightly lighter shades of red. The bottom stripe is black. Centered on the bottom of the flag are three partial vertical stripes, each a fifth of the width of the flag. The outer two stripes are grey and are two fifths of the height of the flag, while the middle is white and is three fifths the height of the flag. Under the flag is written this idenity can only be used by trauma survivors. On the right is written someone who feels that they were allofamilial at one point, but their familial feelings have been taken or "cut away" from them due to past trauma. End id]

#caedfamiliar #afamilial #aspec #id #image described #terminology #caed #caedo #familial orientation #afamilial spectrum #afamspec

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lovelessrage · 2 months

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Hi! I've been trying to educate myself on various aro and ace experiences and concepts, and I find your blog really helpful with that. However, I have a question about lovelessness that I wonder if you could help me with?

While reading a post about lovelessness that seemed influential (https://aroworlds.com/2019/07/16/i-am-not-voldemort-an-essay-on-love-and-amatonormativity/) I started thinking about families and the responsibilities of parents. I know someone (not aro or ace) who has struggled a lot in their adult life because their parents showed little emotion/tried to repress bad emotions to protect their children, and who never told their children that they loved them. This person feels unworthy of love today and has been going to therapy for years to try to manage it. Obviously it's very complicated and no one can know for certain where this person's issues stem from, but I was just curious to hear about a loveless person's opinion on this topic.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, do you think loveless parents have a responsibility to show their children love / tell them that they are loved even if they (the parent) does not actually experience love?

Would be very grateful for a response and I hope this does not come across as rude 🙏

Well, I think, at least in my personal opinion, there's many ways to show affection to children beyond saying "love". The thing is, children learn what you teach them. If you teach them love as the final frontier, the wholeness of your care, and then take it from them, they'll notice its absence. So, you... don't base your child's worth on love! You base it on something else.

If you tell a child you care for them, you want the best for them, you are proud of them, etc. from an early age, they can still feel cared for without "love" needing to be said. You can show affection in a lot of ways! You just need to show your child those ways and establish early that you still care, even if you don't use the same language other parents might use. Kids can recognise when they were raised differently, so a parent should be ready to have conversations about why they're different from their peers. It can be a good way to introduce your child to the fact it's okay to be different than people around them, and that they don't need to be exactly like every other family.

The main holding point is the expectation that someone would teach their child that love is absolute and then refuse to give it to them; this just isn't realistic. Any loveless parent who wants healthy kids isn't going to enforce love normativity just to dissapoint their children by not being able to give it. How someone cares for their child varies, and it's a conversation you can have properly when they're old enough to understand. But, in the meantime, there's many, many ways to have a child feel safe and secure without saying "I love you". It's about building their confidence and support network, not establishing love as the most important thing in the world so you can tell your toddler they can't have it. THAT'S how you screw up a baby. When they're older and can understand more complex concepts, you can talk about the word "love" as a family and what it means to you and your child. It'll depend on each and every person what comes of that, but regardless, it's important to reaffirm love isn't necessary for that child to be an important part of your life.

They have an obligation to show their child they are wanted, they are welcome, they are safe with you, and they are cared for; this doesn't necessitate love. All it takes are dedicated parents willing to put in the work required for raising a baby, and make sure their child knows they mean the world to them without using the word "love".

[Plus, from personal experience as someone who did get told I was loved by my family? It didn't help me out. At all. Mostly because the word meant nothing when they did not back it up with anything. Love only means as much as you put into it.]

#loveless #loveless aromantic #loveless aro #loveless aplatonic #loveless apl #afamilial #afam #<- tagging bc this is specifically addressing that side of lovelessness #afamspec #aspec #scowl corner

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significantouther · 7 months

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aplspec, asenspec, nonaltspec, anaespec, etc belong to the aspec community always.

Not just when we are also arospec and/or acespec, or when arospec and/or acespec people find our experience useful to explain theirs.

#Aspec #Aterspec #Aplspec #Asenspec #Anaespec #Afamspec #Asocspec #Nonaltspec #Aextespec #Arospec #Acespec

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mlp-friendship-isnt-magic · 2 months

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Symbols for other aspec identities

These are just some ideas that I had (as well as a few submissions from my Google Form I put out). If you have any other ideas or don’t agree with some of these, tell me in reblogs or comments.

Analterous: Flowers to represent analterous pride, clouds to represent analterous positivity

Aqueerplatonic: No ideas, sorry. If anyone has any please share them.

Asensual: the touch-me-not plant (mimosa pudica) especially for touch-averse and repulsed asensuals, hot chocolate

Anaesthetic: syringes and doctor stuff (because anaesthetic is spelled the same as the drug that knocks you out for surgery)

Afamilial: water? Because of the “blood is thicker than water” saying? I know it originally was “blood of the camaraderie is thicker than the water of the womb”, but that’s not really how it is used today.

If anyone has more suggestions or doesn’t like some of these, please tell me.

#aspec #anattractional #anattractional spectrum #analterous #analtspec #aqueerplatonic #aqpspec #asensual #asenspec #anaesthetic #anaespec #afamilial #afamspec

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entropy-sea-system · 1 year

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Dynasty by Rina Sawayama is such an afamilial-coded song...

Especially these lyrics;

I especially see this as relating to having been in abusive or toxic family environment, specifically one in which issues were brushed under the rug to maintain a perfect facade.

Of course, not all afamspecs are afamilial due to trauma or harm from family, but I am potentially and am also apothifamilial(repulsed by familial social relationships/being considered family) so. The line about parents raised differently hits me hard as someone whose given family has generational trauma ('the pain in my vein is hereditary')

And I have been constantly told that older generations in my culture were raised differently. This is not something that justifies abuse but unfortunately some people treat it like it does.

The lyrics about breaking the chain (reminds me of breaking the cycle of abuse) and making things right are very cathartic to me. I don't believe family should be this way and I, even if I can't exactly get out of it for a while, am looking to heal from it and maybe make a positive influence on others by acknowledging how family should be considerate towards each other when people are family, whether given, found, or something else.

(Exclus dni, no debating afamilial identity on this post, no mentions of 'narc abuse'/narc abuse truthers, no apologism of parental or familial abuse.)

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atertiary-culture-is · 4 months

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Sorry to bother you, but could I ask what it's like to be afam? I'm realizing some of my behaviours seem kind of afam (openly not loving most* of my family, confusion and almost repulsion to my friend's "online mother", being uncomfortable with being compared to/jokingly called my pet's and my friend's family) but I don't actually know much about afam people and I'm not sure if this is caused by just having a weird (derogatory) family

*I like my aunt and my younger family and I guess my dad but even that feels different to how others seem to feel, aside from younger family. I'm not sure anymore, I guess it's better to ask and be wrong than to not and be right

.

Thanks for sending in this ask !

It is possible that you may find the afamilial label useful in describing your experiences, but you may also not find it a useful label.

Some of what you describe sounds like familial repulsion (which I also experience, but allofamilials may also experience and not all afamilials experience), and not feeling familial love. Afamilial includes disconnect from familial attraction / no familial attraction etc.

Both afamilial and allofamilial people may have familial trauma, or other bad experiences with family. Some may have perfectly normal or even good experiences with family. And some people may be afamilial due to trauma (labels like caedfamilial if one lost familial attraction due to trauma and have ptsd/cptsd, or erasfamilial for the same if they dont have ptsd/cptsd, are for that).

People describe familial attraction as wanting to be family with people, I don't know how it works myself though as Ive never felt it and I personally actively don't want to have any interaction w the bodys biological family or find found family, even if Im around them for financial dependence reasons rn.

Different afamilial people have different experiences, but I will talk about some things I experience related to my afamilial orientation:

-I don't wish to form familial bonds. I don't even want to consider my partners (Im allosexual and demiromantic, and atertiary) family even if I marry any of them at some point. I also don't want found family, and dislike that I live with the bodys biological family right now.

-I have never thought 'I want this person to be my family' or seen anyone 'as a parent/sibling/etc. figure', in fact even people who were that to me biologically I never actually wanted them to be that to me

-My orientation may be influenced by familial abuse - Im sick of how people get away with abusing me just bc theyre legally considered family

-It makes me very upset that, if I don't get married to another body, the bodys family will be given things like visitation rights or the right to make medical decisions for me if I am unable to, by law

-I never felt love towards the bodys family. When I was younger I felt really guilty for it, especially bc I didn't realise the bodys parenrs were abusive and I was constantly blaming myself for them abusing me

-For a while I thought that I only disliked the bodys family due to the abuse, but I realised I didn't want found family either

-The only way the 'found family' trope popular in queer media appealed to me was the idea of knowing other queer people, not being abused (though I am aware found family can be abusive too), and potentially having partners (back when I didn't have partners) - basically the family part itself did not appeal to me in the slightest

-I'm uncomfortable with being referred to as a sibling/sister/brother/parent/child etc. even jokingly - I also don't want to be a parent

-I genuinely don't understand how a spouse is automatically seen as family legally and socially. I view marriage as sexual and romantic, not familial, and if I were to marry someone I certainly don't want to 'start a family' with them

-I don't want to have pets either - both due to the way people assume pets become family, and due to being unable to take care of one (I know I can't handle that much responsibility for another life - like how I don't want to raise kids)

-I don't like being compared to people in the body's biological family - or made to feel like I cannot be anything more than who they are

My experiences are mainly of the no familial attraction, familial repulsed afamilial type so would not be reflective of all afamilial people

#afamilial #atertiary #aterspec #afam #afamspec #afamilial experiences #-Rift #anon ask #anon asks #afamilial questioning #questioning #aterspec questioning #aspec #abuse mention #familial abuse mention #parental abuse mention #family mention

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tertiary-attraction-archive · 20 days

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Fictofamilial

[PT: Fictofamilial]

Fictofamilial, is a Familial orientation and an umbrella term on the afamilial spectrum for anyone who experiences exclusive Familial attraction towards fictional characters, a general type of fictional characters, or whose Familiality is influenced by fictional characters.

Familial Attraction Description(link)

[ID: none yet]

[Tag] @radiomogai & @liom-archive

DNI is in pinned post please read before interacting!

#🧪 mod post #💊 emotion based #Fictofamilial #afamilial #afamspec #Familial Attraction #Familial #aspec #tertiary attraction #aroace #mogai #mogai term #mogai coining #Liomogai #liom #liom term #liom coining

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