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worshipper-status · 2 months

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💙A General Guide to Taking Care of a Disabled Darling (From a Disabled Yandere)💙

Hiya everyone! I saw someone make a guide on this and wanted to add some more in depth detail as a disabled yandere so I can give you all the best advice on keeping and caring for your darling. Admittedly as someone who's disabled, nothing makes me want to be away from someone more than someone who is ableist so if you want to keep a darling with a disability it's best to be informed. I'm going to approach this as if you are in an active relationship with someone just because that's where a lot of my perspective comes from (as well as from the perspective of my personal disabilities) but if you all want any more advice please tell me! Anyways onto the list!

(Long post below)

1.) Research, research, research

If your darling tells you what specific conditions they deal with write it down. Remember it. Anything. And when you get a spare moment, I want you to pour yourself into research for that condition and generally how disabled people are treated. If you are an able-bodied yandere, you are not immune to ableism and that is the number one thing that will push your darling away. Learn everything you can about their condition. What may help one disability may hurt another. Also if you and your darling are on good terms don't be afraid to ask questions! Take note of what personally helps them. Good example, while hot water is known to help with joint pain and muscle aches it can be really bad for disabilities that cause light headedness and vertigo like POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) so knowing what you're dealing with can give you a leg up.

As a general note, try to avoid telling them to exercise, meditate, do yoga, go on a diet, etc. If that stuff could fix out conditions we already would have done it, and for certain conditions, it can make symptoms worse. Please listen to your darling on what they specifically need. Become an expert on every facet of them and their opinions on their disability. If you're reading this you're probably a yandere so it's not exactly like research is hard for us.

2.) Have supplies on hand

Being disabled and going anywhere usually requires some level of forethought, or effort. So try making it easier by having supplies on hand. Here's a list of stuff I keep on me at all times to aid with m disabilities when I'm out in the wild!

Pain meds of choice

Instant hot packs

Instant cold packs

Hot and cold pain cream (BIOFREEZE IS EXPENSIVE BUT IT WORKS SO WELL)

Electrolyte drink or drink mix with water

Compression items for different joints

Blood pressure reader of some kind (I use a fitbit tbh)

Headphones

Sunglasses (Sun is to bright, don't judge)

Fidget toys

My mobility aid

Now this is what I personally carry on myself. What you can carry for your darling is going to vary on who they are, where they stand in your life and what their disabilities are. (Note: If you know someone with POTS and they have a flare up, being able to provide an electrolyte drink during the episode may help get you on their good side, especially if they know you as someone they can rely on for that. Don't hold me to that advice all I know is I would probably marry someone if they did that for me lmao.)

Adjust to what they personally need. There's a lot of other items that could be useful to have on hand depending on what their disabilities are, such as different types of OTC meds you could grab, specific compression items, heart rate monitors, glucose monitors, vomit bags, incontinence products, if legal marijuana products, etc. It's all based on what they struggle with which is why step one is research. You can't build a medical supply kit if you don't know what you're trying to treat.

3.) Be their advocate

This is the me lecturing you about ableism section. Your darling whether physically or mentally disabled has to put up with a LOT of bullshit. Ableism is very deeply rooted in our society, so often you're gonna see your darling in certain situations. Strangers asking whats wrong with them, people claiming they don't have what they say they have, saying their faking for attention, saying they don't really need XYZ support item, etc. You need to learn to defend your darling the correct way.

It's going to vary from person to person, from situation to situation, but your best bet is shutting shit like that down. some stranger walks up to your wheelchair using yandere and asks what's wrong with them? Tell them your darlings medical history is none of their business. Someone says their lazy for using their supports? Stand up for them. Say they need these supports and being on a fair playing field with everyone else isn't lazy. At a doctor's appointment and your darling is AFAB and the doctor's trying to blow off their symptoms? Tell them what you've seen. Ask the doc what they would do if your darling wasn't AFAB. Tell them to mark lack of treatment in charts. Make the doctors cover their asses. You in these settings are your darling's biggest resource.

But also...

4.) Learn when to shut the fuck up. Don't put your foot in your mouth.

You (if you are an able bodied yandere, which is my target demographic with this) reading this, probably struggle a lot with being ableist and don't even realize. This is where listening to others is gonna win you a lot of brownie points. Sometimes, you need to advocate, sometimes, especially in disabled spaces with your darling, you need to learn to shut the fuck up and listen. It will usually benefit you greatly to not speak over your darling in these settings because it can give you a lot of useful info on how to deepen your relationship and also not be an ass to them. In the beginning, there's going to be times where you say hurtful shit. Move your pride to the side and apologize. You are not immune to having bigoted ideals. General rule of thumb, if your darling wants to speak first, let them, you can give input afterwards. And if they specifically tell you to shut up in a certain setting because you're talking over them, shut up.

5.) Okay now for the fun stuff. Love languages!

With people who struggle with disabilities, they may express their love languages in different ways. Acts of service may carry more weight if your darling really struggles with tasks. Quality time may matter more if they're bed ridden and bored out of their mind. Here is a very general guide of love language actions for disabled darlings.

Acts of Service:

Cleaning their room for them

Doing the dishes

Taking out trash

Doing their laundry

Making doctor's appointments for them

Taking them to and from doctor's appointments

Refilling and picking up their prescriptions

Quality Time:

If they're in a pain flare, keep them company, even if it's just napping with them!

Watch shows with them if they're struggling with doing anything that requires a lot of movement.

Run errands with them, so they can have help with difficult tasks like carrying heavy objects, or talking to customer service representatives.

If they're unable to leave the house but able to move a little bit, suggest video games, board games, or some fun low energy activity together

Go to doctor's appointments with them. Like be in the physical room. You'd be surprised how much it helps if your darling wants the assistance.

Words of Affirmation:

ENCOURAGE THEM

SERIOUSLY BEING DISABLED IS SO FUCKING HARD

THEY GOT OUT OF BED TODAY? PRAISE THEM!

THEY DECIDED TO MAKE A MEAL INSTEAD OF EATING ONLY DORITOS? PRAISE THEM!

EVERYTHING THEY DO REQUIRES MORE EFFORT THAN THE NORMAL HUMAN YOU BETTER FUCKING BE PRAISING THEM FOR THAT SHIT

Physical Touch:

Okay, gonna get the caveat out of the way, some conditions will cause physical touch to be painful. Find out from your darling if that's the case. Otherwise...

Does your darling struggle with hygiene? Do they trust you enough to be naked in front of you? Shower together. Not even in a horny way, taking showers while disabled fucking sucks man. Having someone to help me wash myself helps a lot. Bonus points if shower chair is involved.

Massages. If your loved one needs a lot of creams or ointments, put them on for them, work them in carefully. If they're more pain treatments, a deeper massage may also help work those knots out. Just be careful and be gentle and slow. Listen to your darling. Pay attention to their responses. Whether they're leaning into or away from how hard you're kneading. Just communicate clearly for this. Don't hurt them on accident

Cuddles. I'm gonna be blunt. Sometimes, your darling will end up stuck in bed barely able to do anything. Cuddle them. Being stuck is so much less lonely that way. Also bonus points for nap time being a quality time thing.

Help them with "intimate" tasks they may struggle with. Showering together goes in this category but for a broader purpose, this category exists. Once again this has to have that layer of trust, but this is things like helping them get dressed, helping them feed themselves, helping them brush their teeth or manage their hair (PLEASE DO RESEARCH ON THEIR HAIR TYPE FOR THIS).

Receiving Gifts:

Help them pay for medical supplies if you can afford it. It doesn't need to be a power chair. If you want to just buy someone some ibuprofen, or a heating pad, or just like... some small item that may help them, I promise you it will matter. If they mention running low on a critical medical supply that's OTC and you have the money for, just buy it for them.

Buying them things that can keep them entertained in bed or inside the house is also a really nice thoughtful item.

STREAMING SERVICES!!! IF YOU CAN PAY FOR A SUBSCRIPTION OF THEIR CHOICE TO ANY STREAMING SERVICE THEY WANT. GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO BINGE WATCH WITH YOU WHILE STUCK IN BED.

This one is a little more tailored to me, but if your darling is like me and appreciates monthly subscription boxes with surprise items in them, consider a "spoonie" or "chronic illness" box. They are usually pretty surface level stuff but the items in them tend to be nice and veer in the self care category so it's an option to consider.

Don't give them "Get well soon cards" unless you know FOR CERTAIN that whatever is plaguing them right now can actually get well soon. Most disabilities you can't recover from. There is no "get well soon" for most of us. Don't give us a reminder of that.

Anyways! That's my list. Feel free to add onto this if you all have any other ideas. If you're ableist in my notes, I freely block and report so don't test me.

Have a nice day!

(I didn't proofread this, please cut me some slack if this is all over the place)

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believesinheros · 1 year

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Changes.

@bitofashortfuse

Change of scenery. It was required when you experience a traumatic event. For Nic she was the made hero of her own. She wasn’t the surgeon on the scenes. She wasn’t the person that opened up a patient or took the tools to repair the damages. She was the nurse that gave orders; she also had the bedside manner that was nearly perfect. She was the girl who would sit by a stranger; hold their hands when no one was there. She was the nurse that would bend backwards in order to advocate for you. She had a huge heart; and through the years she held one important relationship with Conrad Hawkins.

He was her fighter; the guy that knew how to push buttons, to challenge her. He had broken her heart once; but down the line she saw the good in him. The change he had; he no longer held the temper, he only wanted to fight for his patients, do right by them. And for a while we had a perfect relationship reigniting the flame, even said I do, but no relationship is perfect especially when death comes knocking on your door. Conrad died a hero. He had his last breath jumping in front of a car for a child. Nic held his head the whole time, she watched his eyes flutter closed for the last time. She watched the shallow raising and falling of his chest. She had the tears stray down her cheeks. That day stayed with her; and as much as the blonde loved Atlanta, she felt the numbness each time she walked through hallow halls, The stares from the people that knew her love for her late husband. It had become hard for Nic to want to work, despite how much she loved her job. So that’s why she decided to uproot her life; and come to Med in chicago, It was a place she had lived when she was young, so there was a sense of home for her.

She found a cheap shoebox apartment a block from the hospital; it was an easy route, and despite all the nerves coursing through her body; she felt like this was the right move. To move forward; nothing tethering her to fear; to the past life with her husband. The blonde was on her first shift at med; Maggie was giving her the run down; how each page worked; the smaller patient rooms. The right proacals. Listening intently the blonde bobbed her head along when they got a call from a girl named Brett informing us an ambulance was on route, a cop undercover was injuried, that’s when I caught sight of Will; Halstead the memories of growing up next door to the halstead boys became obvious. An instant smile tugged at the corners of my lips.

“ Stayed a chicago guy after all?” Beaming gaze emitted onto my features as he saw me, “ NIC” A brief extension of an embrace right as the doors swung open, A blonde women I can assume was Brett stepped out; “ Will it’s Jay. you might want to come to keep him calm, he’s insisting that he’s fine.” A knowing glance shared. Lips paused dropping my smile. Jay Halstead? A cop? Injured? I had a jar reaction it had been years since we spoke, since I had uttered a word to him. College, our futures never allied together. But here in Chicago; same place same time. Being a nurse; I had used my quick feet letting shoes shuffle after Will as the ambulance bay doors opened; you heard the annoyance from Jay almost instantly.

Snapping gloves over palms, the female had stepped out onto the pavement, Will had stepped forward as the gurney was taken out of the back and there was Jay laid back against the mat. Instantly I felt those nerves, would he be okay to see me? Did he resent me for never calling? We had once been thick as thieves, and suddenly our futures pulled us apart. I had to admit I loved him; and now I felt those jarring feelings instantly.

“ What kind of operation did you get messed up man? “ Will attempted to joke as he nodded to me as I stood at the sliding doors; almost unsure if I should move closer. “ Look who I found? “ Obvious speaking of me, I had stood awkwardly as the doctors started to move Jay inside the hospital. Eyes met his briefly. “ Jay.” The name that felt familiar; yet we stood as strangers.

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ithriel · 11 months

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I am disabled.(..)

[pt: I am disabled.(..) :end pt]

I am disabled. Despite the very apparent truth in that statement, it is one I have been agonizing over for the past few moons. After receiving an informal autism diagnosis in June, this notion that I am disabled–that I have been disabled my whole life–has been floating in and out of my mind. I considered myself disabled before, of course. My GAD and MDD are certainly disabling. But what has been holding me back from fully embracing this identity?

I suppose it was internalized ableism. Psychiatric disabilities are real, but society treats them as less disabling than physical disabilities, rather than simply differently disabling. I knew I had conditions that were sometimes considered disabling, but in the back of my mind, I didn’t believe they “counted.” Of course, the entire notion of what “counts” as a disability is inherently ableist, racist, sexist, and of course capitalistic. I believe that this type of validity is a scam, so then why do I give it so much thought? The answer: I clearly have work to do to unpack my internalized ableism.

Outside of a capitalistic worldview, what does it mean to be disabled? Disabled means not abled. I am certainly not abled in the sense that I am able to participate fully in my own life. Not without accommodations or aids, at least. My anxiety took me out of in person school. My depression took my extracurriculars and almost took my life. My autism has made it near impossible for me to form connections with my peers and to properly advocate for myself. Both my anxiety and depression have caused physical symptoms including pain and fatigue.

I’ve already made some accommodations for myself. I’ve made my life easier, created options and plans for low energy and bad mental health days. I now have a 504, and I spent the last semester in online school. I’m in therapy and am on new meds for my anxiety, depression, and pain. I practice self compassion and understanding. I acknowledge when I need to rest. Most of the time I follow through.

I am disabled. This I know, this I believe, this I affirm. Nothing is ever easy, and accepting my disability certainly will not be as easy as simply writing a few paragraphs. It will take time. It will exist in fluidity and often liminality. I think I’m ready to intentionally begin that journey.

#ithriel writes ; disability #i've decided to spend this disabilty pride month reflecting and writing about my ongoing journey with accepting my disabilities #this is mostly because i am afraid of being vulnerable so i need to practice #usually i would not share my own writing but 'tis the season for growth (solstice season babyyy)#okay that's enough procrastinating time to post this

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mountphoenixrp · 6 months

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We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:

Vitas Halvorsen, a 25 year old son of Odin. He is an archivist at Phoenix Library & Museum.

FC NAME/GROUP: Zhang Xincheng (Steven Zhang) CHARACTER NAME: Vitas Halvorsen AGE/DATE OF BIRTH: 25 years. Born April 1998. PLACE OF BIRTH: Ásbyrgi Canyon, Iceland OCCUPATION: Phoenix Library & Museum Archivist and Freelance Information Broker HEIGHT: 5'10"/177 cm WEIGHT: 146 pounds/66 kg DEFINING FEATURES: Svelte figure somewhat emaciated in appearance, pitch black eyes that often have dark circles under them, silver-rimmed reading glasses, blind in his left eye, skin pale and very cold to the touch, old surgical scar mid-sternum, bruises easily, only wears black or white or grey, never wears color, med alert bracelet, smart watch for monitoring heart rate, indiscernible dialect.

PERSONALITY: Vitas was born with a hole in his heart and it shows. His time is precious and he will not waste it on something or someone he interprets as inconsequential, so he often comes off as cold and uninterested. It is extremely difficult for him to make lasting connections with others due to a general distrust in people and he is an exceedingly guarded person; however, once he does make a meaningful connection, his loyalty is without fault considering the painstakingly complicated levels one must break through in order to achieve such a status with him. A smile from Vitas is extremely rare. He prefers people who are honest and direct with him rather than those who use superficial speech and flattery. However, he does have a secret passion for poetry and someone truly heartless would not be able to write such beautiful prose…right? Oddly enough, he seems to have a strong affinity with ravens, wolves, and horses. He does not hesitate to vocalize his frustrations, but he does so with an eerily calm demeanor. He will also not hesitate to bluntly correct someone when they are wrong or confront them for lying. There is only one thing he fears and death is NOT it. Very rarely does he raise his voice, mostly speaking with a monotonous and almost mechanical baritone. Vitas is OBSESSED with learning everything that he possibly can, from reading books, to studying online, to people-watching. To hear him speak the words “I don’t know” would be a rare feat. He strongly advocates AGAINST gatekeeping knowledge of any kind and if he has the answer to a question, then he will give it; if he does not have an answer, then he will find it. Has this been known to cause a bit of chaos? Absolutely. Does he care? Not one bit.

He is VERY particular about routine and is an extremely clean and organized person. It is common to see him with a cup of coffee which he really should not be drinking due to his heart condition, but if he is sleeping then he is not reading. However, even when he sleeps, he maintains lucidity, relives memories and reviews information while dreaming. He is able to recall every second of his life since the moment of his birth. Because he is so transfixed on studying, he often forgets to eat and will only grab a quick bite when he remembers or just so he does not take his medicine on an empty stomach. He is insanely efficient with regard to research and finding the desired answers, practically a living Google search engine. Physically, his health is tragically fragile, but he is extremely resourceful.

HISTORY: [Trigger warnings–Death, murder, violence, gore, torture, sexual assault, child abandonment, cannibalism]

Adelheid Halvorsen was hiking with her sister Marta to see the Northern Lights, celebrating her recent retirement. In the still of the Wednesday night, amid the silence of the cold, neither expected to hear the squawking of ravens. They scrambled in the dark to find the lifeless body of what had once been a beautiful woman, her throat slit and eyes being plucked out by two large, black birds. Beside her, an infant barely even clothed with a blood-stained blanket was almost as pale as the snow upon which he had fallen, still and silent. While Marta shooed away the ravens and checked the woman for a pulse, Adelheid gathered the baby and examined him. Finding him to be alive and the mother dead, the siblings rushed to the nearest town for medical assistance and police were dispatched to the scene. It was a miracle the newborn was alive–not just from surviving cold exposure within hours of his birth, but also he had been born with a hole in his heart which prompted a prolonged admission to the NICU. Upon discovering the mother’s identity, her own parents underwent a gruesome investigation. They confessed their daughter had not wanted the child and had tried everything to rid herself of the fetus. When the baby was born, she wanted nothing to do with it yet did not want to be tied to it in any way; if she could not kill the child, then she would let nature do it for her and leave the newborn in the freezing canyon to die. Her killer, however, was never caught.

Never had she expected that in her retirement she would become a mother, but after learning the newborn’s own grandparents were despicable monsters themselves, Adelheid offered to adopt the boy after having no children of her own. She named him Vitas, meaning “life-giving”. Vitas was a very quiet and withdrawn child which was often attributed to his physical ailment, having undergone several operations as an infant. Before the age of three, it was apparent to Adelheid that she had a prodigy on her hands because Vitas learned things at a frighteningly fast pace and was fiercely independent. She likened living with him to having a very intelligent but finicky cat for a roommate. While others were often unnerved by his presence and despite his biological grandparents insisting he was an abomination, Adelheid still loved him and reminded Vitas of this each night. It was important to her that he understood he was loved–because a monster was not a monster when it was loved. He could read, speak in full sentences, and had a nearly breathtaking knack for writing exquisite poetry for someone so young; in fact, he seemed wise far beyond his years and remembered everything with astounding accuracy. Adelheid discovered fairly early on that the boy could not see out of his left eye which doctors attributed to a blockage in the vessels they had missed during one of his many procedures. Due to his physical limitations, he spent most of his time indoors with his nose buried in a book. However, she also noticed he did not have interest in playing with her grandnieces and grandnephews his own age. He had no interest in making friends at school or on the playground, more interested in playing Chess and Go with the old men at the park or frequenting the library; but the only company he truly cared about was Adelheid. She was the only person who mattered in his world.

And then she was gone. At the age of ten, Vitas woke to find Adelheid unresponsive on the bathroom floor. She had been so concerned about his health that she had neglected her own warning signs, thinking the pressure in her chest was just heartburn. Despite his best efforts with chest compressions, Vitas and the paramedics were unable to revive her. After the frail boy over-exerted himself trying to save Adelheid, Vitas himself suffered a cardiac episode that landed him another extended hospital stay. He blamed himself for Adelheid’s death–if he hadn’t been asleep, then he would have seen the signs, could have caught it early, could have saved her. Suddenly, there was no one left to love him, no one left to tell Vitas that he was not a monster. His grandparents still wanted nothing to do with him. Marta took custody of Vitas, but was deeply unnerved by the boy’s closed-off demeanor and struggled to connect with him, especially since she was very outgoing and enjoyed her social life as well as time with her own children and grandchildren. Vitas became more like a shadow of a person and she often forgot he was there due to his quiet and independent nature.

Marta barely noticed that Vitas learned languages quickly; his excuse was that he wanted to learn everything and he could not do that if he did not understand the language the information was in. When his teachers began suggesting to Marta that he skip grades due to his intelligence, she finally took note of him. He became more of a commodity to her, just a way to get attention from people by bragging about his academic accomplishments, but she still treated him more as an obligatory guest than family. He graduated high school at the age of twelve and was accepted to Bifröst University to study linguistics. However, as a minor, he required a legal guardian and Marta was unwilling to move but also unwilling to part with the accolades that came with having a young genius, so her son took physical custody of the boy while Marta remained his official guardian. Her son, Jakoby, was not a pleasant person. He did not like how Vitas always corrected him and called out his blatant lies; he didn’t like how Vitas never laughed or showed any emotion; he didn’t like how Vitas required so much medical maintenance; he didn’t like that his mother was more interested in Vitas’s accomplishments than his own; but he DID like how pretty Vitas was. And with how weak the boy was, it wasn’t like he could fight against the assaults of a full grown man.

Until he did fight back. The first night, he was a victim. The second night, he studied. The third night, it was his turn to teach Jakoby a lesson. After inducing a cardiac episode at school, he stole ketamine from the hospital along with other supplies including a scalpel which he snuck out in his backpack. He made a quick stop at the grocery for other ingredients and returned home. That evening, Jakoby wondered why the kitchen floor was covered in plastic tarps just as he felt the sharp prick of a needle in his thigh. He fell to the floor, still conscious but paralyzed and unable to speak. Vitas had no expression on his face as he flipped the man over, removed his clothes, and proceeded to castrate him with surgical precision, coldly describing every cut along the way with a heartless monotone. Feeling the man’s blood oozing onto his hands had been the first time those fingers had felt warm since before Adelheid’s death. Once he had sutured the wounds, he taped Jakoby’s wrists and legs together and nonchalantly prepared a pot of dumplings out of his minced genitals which he then proceeded to feed to his tearful and fearful abuser once the sedative had worn off. Vitas informed Jakoby that if he ever told anyone what had happened, if he ever touched Vitas again, then Vitas would kill him, that Vitas already had complete access to his bank accounts, his emails, knew enough about his work and work relationships to imitate him without anyone being the wiser. His studies and adolescence continued without further incident from Jakoby, who now feared the little monster under his roof and could tell no one.

Once graduating with a Bachelor’s in Linguistics at the age of fourteen, Vitas continued his education to obtain his Master’s and ultimately his Doctorate, graduating summa cum laude at the age of 21. Because of his fluency in several languages, the university hired him as a translator, putting him to work not just with classes traveling to other countries, but also with upgrading their website to multiple languages in order to reach a broader variety of students outside of Iceland; he even taught English to several business professors and did some private tutoring on the side for other languages. While he was at it, might as well digitalize the entire university library and learn computer code for fun. Who knew hacking would be so easy? And boring, honestly. But what he found to be most satisfying as well as lucrative was selling information. People wanted to know very personal and private details that may be difficult to obtain, but Vitas rose to the challenge and excelled. Studying international law would be beneficial, too, so that was next on his list. Several successful predictions regarding financial investments landed him quite the substantial albeit secret wealth that he merely used to fund further research. While accompanying a class to serve as translator in South Korea, Vitas noticed a pair of large ravens nearly everywhere he went. Despite having been born only hours before their first meeting, he recognized the pair immediately, recalled the night he had been found in the canyon, recalled how it had been their talons that had slashed his mother’s throat, had been the ones to draw Adelheid near to find him. Once the class had boarded the plane to return to Iceland, he noticed the ravens still on the wing of the craft and took it as a sign. He excused himself, took his luggage, and followed the birds to a bridge. That bridge led him to Mount Phoenix and ultimately the truth behind his heritage when the ravens, Huginn and Muninn, told him the identity of his father and Vitas found a new home as well as an opportunity to learn from the gods themselves.

PANTHEON: Norse CHILD OF: Odin POWERS:

Rapid Integration–Vitas is able to absorb information near-instantly. Once learned, it’s in his memory for life.

Total Recall–With a perfect memory, all information Vitas has ever learned can be recalled with frightening accuracy. In fact, he can even recall the moment he was born.

Muscle Memory–Much like his mind, his muscles are able to recall any physical move he makes; however, due to his health, he is very weak with poor endurance or stamina.

STRENGTHS:

Resourceful–Vitas is quite astute in using his surroundings, knowledge, and people to complete any task.

Intelligent–Due to his eidetic memory, he recalls everything he has ever learned.

Omniglot–Due to his ability to learn things almost instantly, he speaks and reads many languages including Icelandic, Norwegian, Danish, Swedish, Dutch, English, French, Spanish, Italian, German, Greek, Portuguese, Latin, Romanian, Russian, Korean, Mandarin, Cantonese, Japanese, Thai, Braille, Morse Code, and sign language (American and Chinese). He is ALWAYS in the process of mastering a new language.

Master Strategist–He is able to calculate moves far in advance, making him exceptionally good at correctly predicting what someone will do or how they will react; he is also quite adept at Go and Chess.

Puzzle Wizard–Vitas can solve most riddles, puzzles, cryptographs, and mysteries within moments. He actually loves a good challenge.

WEAKNESSES:

Paranoid–Due to past experiences, he is not at all trusting of people and often suspects everyone around him to have ulterior motives.

Standoffish–Vitas is not a friendly person; he comes off as cold and distant and is not a fan of idle chatter or schmoozing for the sake of connecting with strangers.

Obsessive–If something strikes his interest, he HAS to thoroughly research it, be it a book or a person; they are one in the same.

Stubborn–Once he sets his mind to something, it is nearly impossible to change it.

Physically Weak–His mental capacity may be formidable, but his body is significantly frail; easy fatigability.

#cpop rp #crp #steven zhang #zhang xincheng #mp; welcome

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ablednt · 2 years

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It really is frustrating that people will lump ableist neurotypicals saying “but your medication makes you not yourself :(” in with antipsych medical trauma survivors saying “refusing medication is a part of autonomy and being informed of risks such as “this has a high chance of giving you brain damage” is a human right we are all entitled to.”

Like no antipsych persons going to be taking meds from people who rely on them here we’re literally just advocating for safety.

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redrobin-detective · 3 years

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Ben 10 lore that exists in my heart regardless of canon

- Ben’s personality in his mid-late teens is a mix of his Alien Force and Omniverse self. On the surface, he’s very cheerful and kind even if he is a bit of arrogant showoff. He makes jokes and plays around and acts as if he isn’t bothered by the things in his life. Those who know him best understand a good portion of his outward confidence and cockiness is just a facade to cover up his insecurities and to project the ideal, effortless hero. While sometimes seen as immature, most beings know Ben 10 means business as he takes his unofficial job and people’s safety very seriously. He’s clever, adaptable, charismatic and empathetic which makes him a formidable opponent and a loyal friend. Doesn’t open up easily but if you get to him, he become so dearly attached.

- Drinks smoothies so much for several reasons. Comfort food go brrr, reminds him of the good easy times with him Gwen and Kev. It’s also a light but generally nutritous food to give him energy for heroing. Anything too heavy and he’ll be puking (both from physical and emotional stress). Though he jokes about his mom’s health foods, his are a crazy concoction of add in proteins and vitamins/minerals bc he knows he’ll out and out collapse without it. (Still has on occasion bc boy still doesn’t eat right/enough)

- While Fame is exciting for him at first he soon begins to detest it. Not the fans, no, he can’t bring himself to hate the people who look up to him. But he hates the constant attention, that he can’t walk outside without being mobbed. the only place he feels safe is his hometown where most people are so used to him and his weirdness that they don’t react much anymore. Takes to wearing a cape and face shield when going out anywhere so he can actually get things done without being recognized and mobbed.

- Part of the reason Bellwood isn’t concerned with Ben is partially because ben’s been weird and alien for as long as they can remember but also many don’t realize how famous/powerful he is. Yeah that’s just Ben Tennyson over there, sometimes he turns into funny creatures- wait what do you MEAN he’s the savior of the universe?? He cried over a spilled smoothie the other day.

- Does mostly online schooling by the time he’s 15. At first he tries to do half day things to maintain something of a normal life but it quickly becomes overwhelming and dangerous him/the school. Finishes his GED early but the Plumbers and Azmuth make him take additional college level and alien courses to prepare him for his future role. Ben gripes but really does love learning all these things, especially on his terms (ADHD and stress + the public school system do not always go hand in hand). He’s a quick learner when he deems the information important and is made accessible to his learning needs.

- Ben definitely has ADHD speaking of which, it was nearly uncontrollable as a child bc his free-spirited parents didn’t believe in medicating. Ben convinced them he needed it and after some trial and error, found meds that worked. As he became more involved in heroics/growing up he had to change his medicine regimen (resulting in him being a bit more off the rails in OV) and needed antidepressants and therapy to manage it better. As an adult he has a whole litany of coping mechanisms (good and bad yes) and regularly checks in with his therapist and doctors to keep things under control.

- Has a complicated relationship with his necrofriggian children. Considers himself their mother and worries after them. They too feel a connection to their parent despite this being unusual for their species. A few visit (some more than others) while they grow while others maintain distance. Ben never breathes a word of them to the media for fear of them being targeted. Still he keeps an eye on them and ensures all 14 mature to adulthood (another rarity for the species). Checks in every now and again with the ones who don’t want to see him and those that do. Two join the Plumbers and Ben is both proud and worried. His youngest becomes partners with Rook Ben.

- Just in general loves kids, they’re his favorite fans and while he’ll grumble at pushy adult fans he always smiles and kneels down for the little ones. Not so secretly wanted to have children of his own but knew it was a risk overall and used a lot of that energy with mentoring and teaching. Eventually had Kenny later in life (late 30s-40s) and was over the moon, becoming such a loving and doing parent or as much as he could be with his hectic schedule.

- Omnitrix can’t come off, never has at any point since it first latched onto Ben’s arm. Azmuth tried and failed to get the device off, doesn’t let Ben know for many years as he feared the consequences. The watch loves and protects Ben even beyond it’s programming making him much more durable to damage and releasing energy charges when he’s threatened. Not even removing Ben’s arm would separate them. They’re stuck for life.

- Ben does have Anodite heritage but the Omnitrix actively suppresses it and uses the built up energy to power the transformations which is why ben is mostly unaffected by what should cause a massive energy drain on him. Theoretically if Ben learned to harness and safely use his Mana at an early age like Gwen he would have been fine but letting it build up without safe outlet meant activation would have killed him. Omnitrix Ben, however, went his whole life not knowing of his latent abilities and how the watch saved his life.

- Ben’s eyes get more green and glowy as time passes from the Omnitrix. At first they think its a trick of the light but by the time he’s an adult his eyes are pretty much glow in the dark. His veins light up too after long stretches of using the Omnitrix. Its vaguely unsettling to people who aren’t used to Ben.

- Max and the Earth Plumbers work so, so hard to keep teen Ben on Earth when half the universe is blowing up their comm lines asking for The Ben 10 to help with whatever problem of the day. Ben himself doesn’t quite understand when he’s younger the prestige and expectations on his shoulders. Max throws up a million and one roadblocks so Ben can live as normal a life as possible while he still can. Still, while doing that he Still overloads Ben with expectations and responsibilities on earth and beyond. He becomes a soldier again with Ben as their greatest weapon. He never forgave himself of losing sight of his grandson underneath the hero esp after Ben’s breakdown.

- Rook partnership with Ben ends not long after Omniverse with his promotion to Magister. Ben tries to play it cool but the thought of another loved one/teammate leaving his tears him apart. Max revealing that Ben most likely wouldn’t get a new Plumber assigned partner since he’s almost an adult and won’t need it and Rook accidentally missing their last smoothie run due to a scheduling mishap causes Ben to snap and have the nervous breakdown that had been building for almost a decade. He completely loses it for a little while and needs to take an extended leave of absence from school and heroics that lasts about a year. Spends time recovering both on Earth and Galvan Prime, does some diplomatic training, learns about aliens, actually confronts the stress and loneliness of his life. He comes out the other side stronger but still fragile and exhausted.

- Ben’s above mentioned breakdown brings him closer to all his friends who didn’t quite realize the extent of Ben’s burden. Rook had been under the impression Ben didn’t like him all that much so the knowledge that his departure was the final straw for friend/hero’s collapse was shocking. Ben and Azmuth also become closer, the Galvan becoming fiercely protective of the boy seeing as his Earth family didn’t do well to keep him safe. It takes years for him to get over his anger at Max for putting so much on his grandchild. Ben makes more friends, in and out of the hero business, finally gets a therapist and gets some of his burdens eased a bit. It’s not a sure fire fix and Ben has several smaller breakdowns the rest of his life but its something.

- Azmuth was straight up suicidal before he met Ben for the first time. Ben gave him back hope for the universe and his ability to create items for peace not weapons. The boy infuriates him, frightens him, frustrates him but Azmuth cannot deny in his heart of hearts that he loves Ben dearly. He’s very upset at Ben’s breakdown and doesn’t know how to handle the worst of the initail outbursts. Azmuth talks Ben down from a suicide attempt. He reaches out to Ben that he Too felt overwhelmed by pressure, thought himself only good for war. Ben’s arrival in his life saved him and now he will do the same for Ben. It’s the first positive step forward in Ben’s recovery.

- For no other reason than I like it, Azmuth primarily refers to Ben as Benjamin (mostly to annoy the kid but he likes the way it sounds too) and Ben in softer, more serious moments.

- Professor Paradox continues to flit in and out of Ben’s life. He says its because Ben is the most equipped to handle universal peril (true) but he’s also just very fond of the boy. Ben, existing in so many forms and having such importance also exists a beat outside of normal reality which Paradox identifies with. Ben is naturally attuned to time related problems because of this (instantly IDing Spanner as from the future before being told later deducing him to be his unborn son). Plus Ben named him, way back when. He’s just drawn to Ben.

- Adult Ben, while being seen as an impressively skilled fighter and champion, really has his strength as a universal diplomat of sorts. Based out of Earth, he helps mediate and defuse conflicts, advocate against tyranny and overall preserve peace and balance. He’s not perfect, he makes mistakes and sometimes is forced to become violent (and yes kill) but overall is regarded as a peacekeeper, something younger ben simply couldn’t understand.

- Gwen gets her degree and primarily does work with advocacy and teaching about magic/alien culture. While she and Ben are still close, there’s a bit of a frustrated divide in that she isn’t helping him share the burden of the universe. Gwen never wanted to be a hero and has enough worth to not shackle herself to a job that’ll burn her out. Ben loves heroing but gives too much of himself away trying to fix everything. They get into screaming arguments that it wouldn’t be so bad out there if she just helped him but she refuses to budge and says he shouldn’t make himself do so much. They always make up and thy still are each other’s closest relationships.

- Ben marries Kai in a political move, Kai is Asexual and Ben Aromantic. They didn’t love each other but they got on well enough and Ben was really feeling the stress of carrying the hero burden so Kai also being involved made him feel like he wasn’t alone. Both were also so tired of the universe constantly asking about their love life and said ‘fuck it we’re married leave us alone’. Gwen was always mad about it feeling Ben deserved better but the two of them were happy with it. They had separate rooms, mostly separate lives but they became strong friends and supports with their strictly platonic marriage. They had Ken via Invitro in an incubator and were loving if extremely busy parents.

- Also from the moment he appeared, Ben knew that Spanner was his future son, Kenny. He played ignorant and then was kind of deliberately teasing him in future encounters. He knew the rules of time and didn’t want to disrupt things further even if he was angry and worried as heck about why Ken felt the need to time travel. When future Ben catches up in the timeline, Kenny gets SUCH a lecture.

- Ben isn’t quite immortal but he’s also not entirely human anymore either. The Omnitrix not only keeps him safe from most harm but it lightens the effect of aging. Ben 10 is active many, many years when most humans would have been forced to retire. He’s not sure how long the watch will keep him alive and it terrifies him. Gwen too is functionally immortal however she ages like a normal human, then when her natural death came, shed her skin and became a fulltime Anodite. So in the end, it was her and Ben together wondering which of them will die first. Gwen has trouble retaining her humanity as pure energy and swears she’ll let herself fizzle out when Ben goes. When that’ll be however...

#Ben 10 #this took sooo long whoops #i wanna write about ben's breakdown so mad you have no idea

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metapianycist · 2 years

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oop, i got back on my adhd meds but never reinstalled tumblr because several other things happened one after another, including but not limited to my hair thinning due to T, my health becoming more complicated in several ways, and my firing a therapist.

this was my first time firing a therapist for the reason of the therapist not understanding autism, after two sessions. my first time actually firing a therapist, period. (i had a therapist a decade ago who was unsupportive of my wanting to pursue autism evaluation, and accused me of wanting to collect diagnoses, but i never officially fired him; i just stopped going to sessions. my next therapist, who knew multiple autistic adults in a non-therapy context, immediately recognized me as autistic at the first session.)

so this time. my new therapist was treating my communication difficulties as if they could be solved by being more confident, when my issues are pragmatic. no amount of confidence will tell me when it's my turn to talk, or result in my not saying something insensitive or leaving out important details (because keeping track of other people's mental states during conversation is quite difficult).

he was giving me unsolicited parenting advice to "assert myself as a parent" (based on assuming my toddler was doing something to deliberately annoy us rather than because of a relevant and recently-diagnosed skill deficit) and getting defensive about it when i said "that won't work."

he said "why don't you just" and did not want to listen when i tried to explain that i cannot "just" (because there were too many steps in his suggestion to hold in my mind at once).

and he disapproved of my desire to tell future medical specialists that restrictive dieting and weight loss are not things i am willing to attempt and that i want them to offer the same treatment options to me that they'd suggest to a thin person with my condition. i'd brought this up in the context of communication issues and anxiety i have when advocating for myself to doctors. this really messed me up because he wasn't thin and I'd expected at least that he'd believe me that having concerns about medical weight bias, when every medical record about me highlights my BMI as a problem, were rational. (and perhaps you shouldn't tell a client with an eating disorder history that they're not allowed to tell a doctor "dieting and weight loss are not treatments i am interested in"??)

anyway, i explained what happened to another person in the clinic and though i framed it as a bad match, i gave enough information that the clinic could conclude that this therapist was out of line wrt to eating disorders if they wanted to independently pursue any kind of disciplinary action. i didn't want to go through the effort of making a grievance myself, i just wanted a therapist who understands how autistic people's anxiety is different from, and needs different approaches than, the anxiety of someone whose only neurodivergence is depression and anxiety.

#metapianycist original post #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #autistic anxiety #bad therapy experience #therapists cw #executive dysfunction

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shelbywanders · 2 years

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*** Trigger warnings ***

Medical procedure gone wrong / Traumatic birth / Chronic illness

I’ve been incredibly vocal about my experience with getting an epidural injection during my labor & delivery in 2018 if you know me on my personal social media. It’s been three in a half years and I’ve decided to try to go a little more public with my story. Why? Because I have felt so hopeless, exhausted, sometimes crazy, and incredibly alone over these years and if telling my story helps just one other women who might be experiencing the same things as me, that’s enough of a reason for me. I’ll be splitting it all up into chapters to help make it easier to read!

*LONG DISCLAIMER*

Please keep in mind, my story is mine and it is still ongoing. I’m being seen by medical doctors and still trying to find a diagnosis after 3.5 years. I do share my opinions but I also share factual evidence. I am not a doctor and I cannot diagnose anyone, I can only share my personal experiences. Please seek out professional help and always do your research from reputable sources.

Secondly, I am not anti-medicine. I am pro do your research and make sure you know what you’re letting people put into your body. I am pro advocate for yourself and your health. I am pro listening to women and mothers and taking them seriously. As a woman and a mother, I’m an advocate on recognizing medical gaslighting and knowing your medical rights, things I didn’t know about before going on this journey. I’m honestly not against epidurals even though I had a horrible experience with one. I won’t tell you not to get one, but I will tell you my experience with getting one, how my life changed after getting one, my pain I live with every day after getting one and all of the risks, no matter how rare they may be that are possible with these procedures.

Mothers are being handed a consent form while they are having contractions every minute, bent over in pain, about to give birth to a whole human being and expected to understand what they’re reading, to care about what they’re signing and to fully understand the risks involved. Doctors are failing to verbally inform of all the risks as well and not all of the risks are listed on the consent form. 3.5 years ago, I didn’t question it either. I had no reason to. Now living with the pain I’ve had to go through, I see how much that needs to change. I am not anti-medicine, I am not “ban all epidural injections during childbirth” at all. I want to make that clear. Even if at times I seem hostile or against it, please understand how much that needle has affected my life so I do get emotional when discussing it, however I still recognize how rare of an occurrence this is and most of the time epidurals work just fine.

Chapter 1 - Stabbed in the back

It was finally induction day! I was 39+1 weeks and so ready to not be pregnant and get control of my body back. I spent most of my time pregnant bending over a trash can vomiting multiple times a day, I also had gestational diabetes so I was pricking myself 4 times a day and dieting, so boy was I over it! I just wanted to meet our precious baby.

I went into my induction with one goal and one goal only: have a healthy baby. That’s all that mattered to me. I didn’t have any type of birth plan other than get the baby out. I did however knew that I wanted to try to go as long as possible without any pain meds. I wanted to give birth naturally, I wanted to see if I could do it. After all, that's what us women were made to do! I won’t go into details about my labor so let’s fast forward a bit. I was 6 cm dilated and my water had just broke. I was doing pretty good up until then but the contractions started to come on so strong and they weren’t giving me any breaks. I remember my husband telling me, “You don’t have to deal with this, you can get an epidural. It’s okay to get one if you are tired.” I was so tired, but I pushed on for another hour or so until I just couldn’t handle it anymore, or so I thought.

The anesthesiologist comes in and asks everyone to leave, except for my husband and nurses. We go over the consent form and how the procedure will go, at least I’m assuming we did. This whole time in my labor is a huge blur. I’m having contractions every 45 secs to a minute and I didn’t really care in that moment. I just wanted some relief.

I sit on the side of the bed, curled up against a pillow, trying to not hold my breath at every contraction. My lovely spine is exposed as the doctor gets ready to jab a needle the size of my hand into it. He starts the procedure. After about 5 minutes I could tell something wasn’t going as planned. There was a lot of maneuvering about, there was a lot of pulling sensations that I thought were odd. The doctor told me he was having a hard time getting it placed, he told me my ligaments were super thick. He tried at one spot, couldn’t get it in. He told me he was going to have to try a different spot. Each time he tried a spot, sudden electrical zaps would shoot through my lower back and buttocks, making me jump. It was frightening, that’s the only word I can use for the feeling.

Here I am trying to stay as still as possible while going through contractions because there is a huge needle in my back and something is happening to my body that I can’t control. I screamed out each time and started to cry, trying to explain what I was feeling to the anesthesiologist. He was still struggling behind my back but now he was perplexed as to why I was uncontrollably jerking every time he poked me. “Let’s try another spot,” he said. At least 30 minutes has past now. My mom and my sister are waiting in the hallway, trying to figure out what’s taking so long. I remember reading that epidurals usually take about 10 minutes to complete so I knew something wasn’t going as planned.

Onto another spot he goes, poking me another time in another spot on my spine. Het gets it in, I feel some relief mentally very briefly because I know this should mean my contractions will fade soon. Suddenly, as he starts to inject the epidural medicine into my back, I start to feel this intense pressure going up my back, my neck and all the way to my head. I heard liquid sounds in my ears as this pressure was going up my back. It felt like liquid was being injected into my spinal cord and that pressure was traveling up my back, into my neck and into my head eventually building up so much pressure that so I legitimately thought that my head was going to explode. I screamed out in pain. What the hell is happening?! My back was on fire, my head was throbbing, the light in the hospital room blinded me. Everything is blurry. The doctor asked me what's wrong, what hurts. I try explaining to the best of my ability but all I can get out is “my head, my head!” My head feels like it’s going to explode at any second. He keeps telling me over and over he doesn’t know what happened. Neither did I. All I knew was that this man had stabbed me in my back and I was in the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life all while trying to make sure I have a healthy baby.

My head is still spinning, my tears stained my cheeks. Contractions are still coming on strong but the epidural is in correctly now, at least we think it is. I lay back down and try to rest before it’s time to push. I keep getting told that everything is fine. I keep getting told that nothing wrong happened. But my head is killing me. I still have that same pressure that I experienced during the epidural administration. I try to stop thinking about it but the pain in my head was so bad it was hard to ignore it. I had a job to do though. I had to birth a baby!

An hour after the pain explosion during the epidural, the epidural started to wear off. I knew that wasn’t normal but again, I was just trying to focus on having my baby. It’s finally time to push, the pressure is unlike anything I’ve experienced before. My head is still throbbing, making it hard to push a whole baby out from my body. I remember pushing so hard because I couldn’t stand the pain any longer, I just needed the baby out. So I kept pushing, pushing, pushing, hurry up and just get out! I was getting lightheaded from pushing and the pain, I was worried I wasn’t going to be able to finish pushing. But 5 minutes later, a beautiful baby girl was born. Adeline Mae, 6lbs 8oz, 19 1/4 inches long. She was so tiny...and so so perfect. For the first hour I forgot about the pain I was in. I forgot about the horrible epidural experience. I forgot about how scared I was. I was just so in love with the tiny human we created, nothing else mattered. But the head pain never went away. It’s still there to this day as I’m typing this, 3 in a half years later.

Stay tuned for chapter 2.

*DISCLAIMER*

This is blog is not intended for medical advice nor intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. This blog is based off of personal experience.

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samisanaveragewriter · 3 years

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Hi! I meant to send something to you but I couldn't decide what characters I wanted. I just forgot to send it when I decided. Would you mind writing for Aizawa and Present Mic with a partner who has tics? Mine have been acting up really bad these past few days and my neck is really sore right now. Thanks so much!

Hi!! I hope I can get this right since I don’t have tics. I read a bit so that I could be well informed before writing this but I may still get this wrong, so I encourage everyone to do their own research and go to the link I provided to see my sources.

I will be focusing on simple tics rather than complex ones just because everyone is different!

Eraserhead and Present Mic with a partner who has tics

Shota Aizawa

He doesn’t mean to call it out the first time he sees it happen

it’s just something he doesn’t have much experience with

so obviously you do it a little bit more often

he treats you like a porcelain doll at first

you have to remind him while you do have tics, you can still kick his ass

after a while, he does become weirdly good at handling your tics

knows that more tics means that you need reassurance that nothing is wrong

if you do have a repetitive tic that causes some soreness, he’s there to distract you

“did you know whales can get sunburns?” he said one day out of nowhere

his voice is soft and reassuring when he sits down next to you, not even acknowledge you or your tics

makes it a habit to blurt out completely random and obscure facts constantly

also starts becoming a little more handsy with you

read somewhere that physical reassurance helps

so he inconspicuously started raising the pda

a kiss here

a handhold there

you know what he’s doing and you're kinda mad that it sometimes works

what you don’t know is that every chance he got he read up on how to help

bought those professional articles just to immerse himself a bit more in the information

if you ask him to give you a massage over a certain spot he does it (Not without playfully fighting you)

becomes a little more open with you so that you can tell him if anything bothers you

overall plays a lot of mind games to help you manage your tics and makes them habits

Hizashi Yamada

his heart is in the right place when he first heard you tic

he just thought you were excited when you whooped

so he whooped with you every time you did

it became mildly distressing for you and he noticed

since this man is weirdly good at reading people

asks you what’s wrong and you have to explain to him what’s up

feels so bad about what he did and wraps you up in a hug

won't be there for an entire day but he comes back with bags on his eyes and a manic smile

pulled an all-nighter learning all he could about tics

if he ever sees you tic-ing a lot he will ask you to hold his hand

once he had a beverage with ice and stuck an ice cube in your hand

said nothing and continued babbling about his paperwork

he’s a lot more direct with the way he helps you cope with tics tho

when you’re not having a bad day he asks you what he can do to help in general

he’s really empathetic tho so when you start tic-ing a lot he will try to baby you

even if it’s the last thing you need

if you do take meds, he will make sure you’re on top of it

he has an alarm on his phone just for you

has figured at least 3 of your tic triggers without you telling him

he’s already a PDA heavy person so he just keeps touching you in some way or another

big advocate for stimming toys once he finds out about them

gets you at least one just for you to try them out to see if they're a thing you would like

certified worry wort trying his best

#bnha imagines #comfort imagines #mha imagines #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #tics #eraserhead x reader #shouta aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta x reader #present mic x reader #yamada hizashi x reader #hizashi yamada x reader #sam says hi #please read my sources tho

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miekasa · 3 years

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what college majors do u think the characters would have in the modern world? 🤩🤩

anonymous said: what does college eren major in ? i’m stuck between some political liberal shit to stem

I got a similar ask this morning, so I’ll answer them both here!

For the first anon, with Eren, I always write him him doing some vague/general science. Like maybe general biology or psychology. I get why political studies might make sense in theory, and I definitely think he would have opinions, but I don’t see him as the kind of person to argue them in an academic setting. Let’s not put Eren in a class where someone can “play devil’s advocate” because he’ll end up suspended for violence on sight 😭😭

I don’t think he’s the best at math, but I think bio or psych might be good for him because of the discovery and/or introspective aspects. I think he’d like knowing about advances people are making in the science world, even if he doesn’t want to study them or understand them exactly. It might give him a sense of hope. And for psych, I think he would probably find it genuinely interesting to learn about how other people think, and would probably be a good learning experience for looking into himself, too. It might even help him be a little more optimistic.

We were talking about Jean yesterday, and I can see the premed or nursing route for him, but I think it takes him a year or two before he decides on it and/or realizes that he’s in it for a purpose other than money. I could also see him doing business/econ or marketing, because he’s very charming and personable to me. I’m not sure, but something analytical that gives him a way to make an impact on other people. I also think he’d have a few classics studies/courses under his belt, too.

For Levi, I think I’d say psychology, too? But more on the side of clinical psychology and neuroscience. He’s canonically good at math, so it would be advantageous. And he’s pretty smart all around, especially when it comes to dissecting information, so I think he’d be good at diagnosis and intricate anatomy. I’ve also written him to be a lawyer because I think his analytical thinking could be of use in a career like that, but people don’t study law in undergrad, so I still think psych would be his major; and maybe he ventures down the law school path later in life.

I think the obvious answer for Armin is biology, specifically marine biology. That’s not a major at my university, but I know that there are schools with specialized programs like that; or, he’d do regular biology and life studies, and find a study abroad program to supplement the marine education aspect. And if not that, then hear me out: astronomy and physics. Even though physics is fake and made up, something tells me that boy would make astrophysics make sense and make it look easy, too. When you think about it, discoveries in space and the deep ocean aren’t that far off, right? There’s so much unknown, you’re bound to make a discovery if you keep at it long enough.

I think I’ve written anthropology for Mikasa in a draft somewhere. It encompasses a lot of disciplines, and I think she could handle it well. Also, I guess if you take into account her family history and situation and put in a modern au, it might make sense that she’s interested in the history of people and culture and things of the sort. If not that, then kinesiology. Either way, I think she’s likely to end up going down some medicinal path later, so if she’s not in kin, she would take a lof of med school prereqs as her electives.

Okay one more idea for Mikasa because I’m in love with her: language studies. Which I think could fit in with anthro, or maybe just be her minor for whatever major she has going on. I just get this Feeling that she’s the type to pick up on languages easily.

Chemistry for Hange. Any kind of chemistry: regular chemistry, biochemistry, chemical engineering anything; whenever I picture a chemist, Hange pops up. For all the right reasons, of course. Also, can’t you just picture them in little lab coat, running a muck with their goggles on? Fantastic concept, 10/10. But they take any elective they want, their course list is all over the place: bio, liberal arts studies, painting, music; Hange is taking full advantage of all the classes possible.

Sasha is tricky, and to be honest, I’ve never really thought about it? Maybe arts and sciences? Or maybe just general studies while she figures out what she wants to do? It would be easy to say food science, but I don’t think she’d actually care that much about the chemical breakdown of food 😭😭 she would much rather analyze the taste if anything. She might take a few food science classes that are really on the closer end to cooking classes if the university provides those. But arts and sciences is huge, I’m sure something in there could suit her.

Connie is another toss up. On one hand I really want to say business or econ, but, like, he’s surprisingly very serious about it. Well, serious in the sense that he actually wants to pursue it; not that he doesn’t party while doing it. I can also see him going into media and/or marketing. Something tells me he’d be pretty damn good at it, too.

#anonymous #i also can't give eren anything reading heavy bc i can assure you that boy does not read #in fact he would fail by default bc he doesn't even buy the books #i know i know armin ocean but can we have armin space for a moment... just a moment... just imagine #he could very well end up at nasa bye #minicanons

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turing-tested · 4 years

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advice from a person who needs medication to function to others: ask your doctors what else your medication is used for or if there are any other reasons they’re prescribing it to you. you can use me as an example if you want to give your doctor context! from a personal experience on seroquel, i was told it was prescribed as an antipsychotic. i was not informed it was also being prescribed as a mood stabilizer. if i had known this, it would have saved me a LOT of trouble from turning into an insane person because i was no longer having my mood stabilized after i stopped taking it due to some nasty side effects. (also please do not stop taking meds suddenly) i had stopped taking it because i wasn’t properly informed by my doctor what it was also prescribed to me for. while i thought that i was simply accepting the risk of having hallucinations until my doctors appointment, as it turned out, the risks and change to my behavior and thought patterns was much, much worse.

you are allowed to make and have informed opinions on your medication! be your own advocate, and if your doctor doesn’t want to answer questions, then they’re not the doctor for you.

#im normally very med compliant #but when it came to that i couldnt fake decisions about my own body in an informed way

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unsettledink · 3 years

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long vent about mental health care frustrations below the cut

I've been trying to get to a pysch to get my meds changed since I moved here a year ago. After several tries, the last one basically being like 'fill out all this paperwork first and then we'll talk about possible appointments', and all the paperwork was like 17 pages long and wanted all this insurance information that I didn't understand. I tried for a few days and then gave up, because that's real easy to do when you have mental issues you NEED TO SEE SOMEONE FOR OMG.

Waited four months. Went to the doctor for something else and mentioned that I'd gotten nowhere. They said they could set me up with some sort of patient advocate that could help with it. !! I let myself get hopeful.

Of course it's only by phone. That's not good. I miss the first call, and then... panic and don't answer the second. Partly because I just don't answer my number for unknown calls, but I knew they were going to call me. I spend the next week and a half spiraling every day about 'ok I'm going to make that call now!'. Spoiler: I did not.

Finally make the call... and get voicemail. HAHA. Spend the whole day anxious and checking my phone every five seconds. No call. They call today, during work, and just...

The problem for me is not finding a place. It's not going to appts, it's not figuring out what I need. The problem is phone calls and filling out paperwork. Those are the things I need help with. Those are things I apparently can't get help with.

They recommended a place, for therapy – look, I told them, I'm not going to be able to afford therapy beyond the intake, I need a pych for meds. Do they do that because a lot don't. They tell me the place will send me paperwork after I call them. Great, so I have to call them (nightmare), fill out paperwork (ahhhhh) and then call them again (NOPE). So that's... probably three months down the road.

I feel hopeless, but I made myself say, hey, the paperwork is where I broke down last time. It was so many pages and I couldn't answer things and I gave up. They say this place doesn't have terrible paperwork, but if there's a problem call them back (hahahaha...) I already feel pretty defeated because I wasn't given any 'help' that was what I needed or asked for, just the exact things I could actually do for myself.

Fine. Fine, I go check the site. It looks... familiar. What's that? Is it the last place I tried with the paperwork issue? Why yes it is. Oh no, I exaggerated for effect, their intake isn't 17 pages, it's 13. SO much better.

I have options:

1) I can attempt to struggle through the paperwork again, call the insurance company and stay on hold for an hour and not get any answers, and then call for an appointment a month later because phones.

2) I can call (FFS) the 'advocate' back and tell them, the paperwork you clearly think is super easy is causing me to meltdown, because I am the most pathetic person on earth. Expose myself as even more of a disaster and probably still not get help because they can't/won't provide what I need.

3) give up.

One guess what's most likely to happen.

So that's why I spent twenty minutes crying on my lunch break today. If anyone was under some illusion that I am a person with things together. I barely manage human half the time.

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eusoraya · 3 years

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⟨ YARA SHAHIDI. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, SORAYA ASHOURI is actually a descendent of D I O N Y S U S. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old PRE-MED & ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE MAJOR from ADELAIDE, AUSTRALIA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SINCERE & WORRISOME. you can read up on some more information about this demigod below, and follow them over on their blog HERE.

ABOUT | WANTED CONNECTIONS

some random info under the cut !

POWERS

chlorokinesis is her strongest ability, and her proficiency in it stems both from natural ability and practice. she can summon and control vegetation, though she enjoys the natural plant caretaking process once they’ve sprouted. she generally uses her powers to help her with her plants or for aesthetic purposes, but she can also manipulate vines for offensive purposes when necessary.

the next power she is most confident in is the ability to cause and cure madness. when she first discovered this ability by accidentally causing someone who had been gossiping about her to go mad, she worked with the camp trainers to learn how to reverse it. now, she can remove madness almost as well as she can give it out. at eonia, she generally uses this power at the clinic to cure those unfortunate enough to have been poisoned or targeted by one of her siblings.

alcokinesis is actually one of her weakest abilities. she can hardly conjure anything from thin air, but when transforming liquids into alcoholic beverages, they generally taste watered down or just gross. since she has no real desire to perfect this skill, it is mostly fine with her, although it is slightly embarrassing when forced to serve it to others.

not much of a party person, in the past she’d mostly used the ability to appear at any party to accompany her friends to parties or escort them out. her natural acting abilities are also apparent, but she sticks to portraying minor characters in the drama club’s productions.

PERSONALITY

depending on the extrovertedness of the people she is around, soraya can be considered quite reserved or even shy. she has a tendency to become flustered around others, especially when she cannot predict their next actions or understand what they’re thinking. this often leads to awkward behavior on her behalf, as it is difficult for her to rely on her natural acting abilities to smooth things over when there is no character to hide behind.

soraya is a very big advocate of communication. she can be especially vocal and direct when it comes to those she loves, as she’d much rather talk it out with her loved ones rather than allow miscommunication to cause a rift between them. this also applies when defending others, as she’s been known to clumsily tell someone off and then spend the rest of her days regretting her existence.

in her natural element, she is a spirited, jocular girl. while she loves to have fun, she is much less likely to make wild or bold choices without the right company. she’s conscientious, but also very agreeable, meaning she will generally follow a friend into trouble despite her protests and mumblings. this applies more to fun hijinks or other trivial things, however – when push comes to shove, it is rare for her to compromise her highest values.

MISCELLANEOUS

classic dork tbh. spends way too much time at the gallery and the multiverse, gets nervous around people who are clearly too cool for her, has never reached quote unquote french kiss territory, texts strange memes at 2 am, and frequently conversates with her plant children.

character inspo: do bong soon (1, 2, 3), fabiola torres (1, 2, 3, 4) ruby martinez (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8), justin russo (1, 2, 3, 4), grace olsen/noora saetre/eleonora sava (1, 2, 3, 4)

doesn’t usually refer to non-friends by nicknames unless it’s the only thing they introduce themselves as. generally calls her friends by their full first names or something she’s made up bc she likes to be special.

she has a great relationship with her mother, but she still hasn’t told her about being a demigod. her mother believes that she is just attending an elite university, and she’d rather keep it that way.

went on a couple quests back in the day. she probably complained most of the time but she did what was required.

her alcohol sucks! it tastes very cheap and watered down! she’ll never offer to make it but don’t bother complaining if you’re the one that asked! she doesn’t care!

money is no object to her. will casually offer to pay for her friends if they need it but she tries to do it in the most respectful way she can.

i’m still working on her wcs page since it looked too ugly before, but feel free to message me before it’s posted KDJSJDSK

#euintro #don't judge the graphic it's tacky like her 😌

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certainwoman · 4 years

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Being openly “mentally ill” while trying to navigate academia in my homeland of Croatia would make me an object of scrutiny. However, I cannot escape the reality of my life, depression and anxiety in my life shape every part of my life and have made me stagnant for the past few years. I have talked about this previously on my blog, mostly in short details, self-deprecating posts as I go here to vent in a semi-anonymous space where being brazenly dysfunctional will not mean it will follow me forever if someday I decide to make my existence a bit less vulnerable to the judgment of strangers.

For a while, I was perfectly able to navigate school, friends, family while having my GAD diagnosis. After a while I needed more meds, but I was excelling more than ever in fact and then I crashed? I feel like I have repeated this story to strangers who ask me what I am doing right now in my life so many time. I am shameless online in a way. I see nothing really fundamentally wrong with my lack of productivity for the time of being. I see the acceleration of my neuroses (as I choose to call them) as an effect of systematic conditions and events in my life that have affected me profoundly. However, on the other hand I see the utmost need to establish myself as productive as my independence lies in being able to provide for myself. In a way as much as I am afraid to face my own potential capability of writing a good quality thesis, I am even more afraid of facing the capitalist job market. Caught in a circle of self-hatred and perfectionism makes me realize they might as well be the same thing. My own background in sociology and marxist politics make my perception of my state deeply associated with societal collapse, the contradictions, the terror of capitalism becoming more visible. Yet being the way I am, on most days afraid of leaving the house, how do I even “change the world”? It certainly would never only be me, but even joining an organization to give myself a purpose besides scholarly pursuits something I have identified with to the point of hurting myself seems impossible at this point.

Perhaps I should go back to academia as an identity, something I have been guilty of for the past 5 years of my life. Having a clearly planned out future did not really pan out for me. In retrospect, the perpetual scholars doing their PhD after their masters, then perhaps another masters or another Phd (and before you think I am creating a caricature of an academic, I know individuals who have chosen this path) is also an ugly side-effect of the cruel systematic terror inflicted on everyone whose field of choice isn’t necessarily adequate for their living or who avoid finding themselves outside the bubble that academia has become. I can only talk about my own experience in a slavic post-socialist country studying sociology while paradoxically (only the surface) often being dissuaded from social activism, seeing more and more people becoming dissuaded with anything else but staying within the bubble, performing a role of an educator who fundamentally conforms to an institution they belong to. Maybe I sound idealist to some of you, still believing in the possibility of activism, social change, a communist / socialist society but this idea itself has kept me alive for so long.

At this point, I feel like I will only finish my masters if I decide to write it completely vulnerably with the knowledge that the stress of academic performance has contributed to my state. Knowing that academic institutions often on the surface advocate for the disabled people, but do not accomodate them. We are advised to not talk about the personal in our supposedly professional work. My personal circumstances have always informed my work. I have written about queer vulnerability, I have written about the neuroses associated with female bodies and eating disorders, I have written about the films that have deeply affected me. I believe many of you have engaged in deeply personal work within supposedly professional settings. The boundary between the personal and the professional needs to be examined, it needs to be played with, it needs to be studied and deconstructed.

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liorasophie · 4 years

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What Doctors Don’t Tell You about Going Off Psychiatric Meds

Hey. If you are currently taking or considering taking medication for depression/anxiety/other mental health things, first of all: I’m with you. I feel for you and I wish you the best success at getting better and feeling like yourself again.

We’ve seen flashes of what it looks like to detox from Heroin on TV. But they never show detox from Cymbalta or Effexor. And those guys have a nasty detox too.

Disclaimer 1: This post is not anti-medication. It’s not meant to scare you out of taking them. If they help you - take them! It’s just here to help answer questions you might have, such as “Are my new tremors related to the medication I’m taking?” or “Why have I been dizzy for three weeks?”

There is no shame in taking medication for your mental health.

Disclaimer 2: I am not a doctor. Always always always consult your medical professionals. This is only meant to add some knowledge to your vocabulary of things to ask that your doctor might not mention.

I’m giving examples from Effexor because that’s what I know, but the general principles in this post apply to any psychiatric drug.

Below is an incomplete list of withdrawal symptoms from coming off of Venlafaxine aka Effexor aka Viepax (the check marks are ones I have experienced):

brain shivers

agitation✅

anxiety✅

confusion

mania

mood swings

anorexia

impaired coordination✅

dizziness✅

fatigue✅

lethargy✅

headaches✅

night tremors

tremor✅

sensory disturbances✅

electric shock-like sensations

vomiting

vertigo✅

sweating

diarrhea

dry mouth✅

… the list goes on. Anything could be a side effect. Nightmares. Loss of appetite. Muscle aches. Sleep disruption. A completely whacked sleep schedule.

I’m posting this because people should know.

First of all,

NEVER 👏 STOP👏 TAKING 👏A MEDICATION 👏 WITHOUT👏 CONSULTING👏 A DOCTOR.

Second of all, even if you are on a regular dose of Venlafaxine, you might still have some withdrawal symptoms.

Third of all, if you suddenly start having these symptoms, you deserve to know that it could be caused by your medication.

Now, you might be wondering why anyone would ever take this drug if there are so many side effects and such horrible withdrawal? And that’s a fair question. And the answer is that sometimes it’s worth it. Venlafaxine does help with anxiety and depression and their side effects, such as brain fog. It can restore someone to functionality enough that they are not incapacitated by their mental illness. Sometimes it’s worth the side effects if it means you can have a job, take care of yourself and your loved ones, enjoy a drink with friends, feel emotions, drive, etc.

There is no shame in taking medication for your mental health.

And sometimes it’ll work for a little while and then stop. And if you go to the doctor with just your symptoms, they’ll take a thousand and one tests and conclude that nothing is wrong with you. And you’ll be caught in a loop of asking yourself, What is wrong with me? Is this my life? Am I just...like this now? And that can be terrifying in itself.

So spread the word. Make sure people who are taking or considering taking this drug know what symptoms might be connected to it. It could save a lot of time wondering why we suddenly have extra headaches or get random shivers when it’s not cold outside.

Knowledge is power. Advocate for yourself. Make your psychiatric prescriber inform you of the possible side effects and symptoms you might experience from the medication they just gave you. If you are a highly sensitive person like me, let your doctors know that.

I am going through withdrawal right now. If you are too, I feel for you. If you are screaming into the void of a medical system wondering why you have a zillion symptoms and perfect test results, my heart is with you. You are not alone in this.

Have hope.

You can feel better.

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