La chola con cara de niña, media fresa, media loca, media ondeada y vacía, aquella que un día reía, brillaba y gozaba pero se hizo adicta. La sustancia no la suelta y ella solitaria, anhela la compañía del que una vez significaba el amor de su vida, con la pipa y una astilla apacigua el dolor que dejó su ausencia mientras se vuelve cada día más adicta.

FUCK IT DUDE I NEED TO PLAY SPLATOON SALMON RUN OH HOW ITS BEEN 3 WEEKS I-

im stealing my brothers acc idgas

Have any of you had to talk to a family member about going to rehab?

How did you go about asking them to go?

What things did you find easy and what was the hardest and would you have any advice on the matter?

rehab as a kid.

i cant stop thinking about my past, is it weird ?

that i lived that

can someone actually understand?

the nights crying

the bathroom experience

the lack of privacy

the fear.

When will i feel like a good person ?

i feel humiliated by my own existence

im only a child, im old already.

My " light " has been turned off

my memories so incredibly sad

i rather romantice them and turned them into fun stories

so, if anyone is interested i will be telling them on this platform

( sorry if theres typos or bad english, its not my first language hehe)

porn addicts are the only people more in denial of their addiction than weed addicts

"

NAOMI KLEIN: Well, it’s interesting. I mean, I think we are—I think it’s this self-reinforcing cycle, right? Where we’re getting from—we’re projecting onto our consumer products our identity, our community, and we are constructing ourselves through consumption, and so that if you tell people they have to consume less, it’s not seen as you want to take away my stuff, it’s you want to take away myself. Like it is a very profound—

JOHANN HARI: Oh, that’s fascinating.

NAOMI KLEIN: —panic that it induces, that has to do with this surrogate role that like we’re shopping for so much more than stuff in our culture, right? So, but yeah, I mean, what’s interesting, too, I mean, all the debates about economic growth. Like if we let go of growth as our primary measure of success, then we would have to talk about what we actually value, like what is it that we want.

And that’s what we can’t really do, because then we have to—you know, then we’re having a conversation about values and well-being and defining that. And so, growth allows us to avoid that conversation that we are not able to have, for a whole bunch of reasons.

"

Tengo que dejar de drogarme. Tengo que dejar de drogarme pensando en ti, imaginando que estoy a tu lado y que en algún momento tocaras mi mano, sabiendo que tú voz no escucharé ni por más que lo intente, no dormiré en tu cama con la mente hecha mierda y el corazón rebozando de alegría, no despertaré abrazada a ti, oliendo tu perfume, ni me dirás a la mañana que te deje dormir, no gritaras mi nombre a media madrugada porque algo te ha molestado, ni me dirás lo mucho que me amas luego de llorar como niño abandonado. Tengo que dejar de drogarme porque me está destruyendo y tus recuerdos acompañan cada dosis que se vuelve con el tiempo más insignificante. Debo dejar de consumir(te), pensarte y extrañarte porque nada de esto te traerá de vuelta ni aunque me ponga de cabeza.

Hi. I’m an addict. And this shit is about to get real. I’ve lived on subs (suboxone) for 5 years, almost 6. It was supposed to be only for a year or until I felt stable enough. This is for my fellow addicts and those of you who love an addict. I want to be normal. We. Want. To. Be. Normal. We want to wake up without questioning how we will ever live without dependin on something. I want silence. I want peace more than anything. I want to be happy. The oceans I have cried from wishing I could just turn back time. Wishing I had never tasted something so peaceful. I wish to be entertained by something I don’t have to take. I wish to find entertainment or stimulation in anything without having to take something to not feel numb. Don’t get me wrong, I only relapsed once in my first few months of being on subs. I’ve done good. But what they don’t tell you is how long you might stay on them. How long will this go on for? I’ve had so many jobs since being on them and I can’t focus. I feel stupid because I begin to think too complex about simple things. I wonder when I will ever be able to function like any other adult. When will I be able to rely on me and know that I am in fact reliable? I’ve been asked what my goals are for the year,but I can never say my real answer. Because they are too easy for most. But for an addict it feels impossible. To be clean for a week means to feel like dying. Am I strong enough for that? Subs have made me feel normal. And don’t get me wrong, fuck whoever says being on subs isn’t being clean. But for me personally. Relying on anything doesn’t feel clean to me. And the shifty part is knowing how if only these few problems in life were not there it would be far much easier. I am overwhelmed. It doesn’t take much to overwhelm a person who is carrying the weight of years of trauma and in my case physical and emotional abuse on their back. No one will ever understand how shitty it feels to watch year after year after year pass and feel like you’re in the same place. Not just the success but all of it. If you’ve gotten this far. Thanks. Thank you for giving a shit. And to the ones who enjoy my poems and such. Sorry this wasn’t supposed to be poetic. But, there’s a little girl in my life. Who is my life. I wanna give her everything. So tomorrow will be the start of forever. And if you wanna follow my journey that would be cool. I’ll be writing everyday about how each day feels like. Short or long. Thanks for looking into my brain again. And to all my addicts. One day at a time. We will do this. We will learn to live again. And we will use what has been broken for good. Keep fighting.

Tal vez soy adicta al dolor.

Quizá la tristeza es mi zona de confort.

Y algo esté terriblemente mal en mí.

maybe I don't want help, maybe I just want to make them feel guilty.

Miren que realista 😯

...Im addicted, Im out of control, but you're the drug that keeps me from dying.

man i've been doing coke every day for more than 3 weeks now i need someone to tell me to stop