“This is the kind of energy that really gets me going as someone with ADHD and failing grades.”
-Ally Beardsley as Kristen Applebees
Kristen Applebees with ADHD
Kristen Applebees with ADHD
Kristen Applebees with ADHD
Kristen Applebees with ADHD
Kristen who cares about classes but has never been able to sit through a single one without zoning out.
Kristen who never learned how to study and did okay in elementary school but really struggles in high school without those skills.
Kristen who gets really passionate interests but loses them a month later
Kristen who is unmotivated and wonders why she can't stick to one thing, one belief.
Kristen who works really hard to understand all of her cleric abilities but this didn't come with a guide book.
Kristen who struggles with memorizations and constantly forgets her spells.
Kristen who can't sit still on long car trips, who's always bouncing a leg or tapping her fingers.
Kristen with poor auditory processing, always asking ‘what?’
Kristen who's hyperactivity always made her the perfect playmate for her younger brothers even though she was significantly older.
Kristen who's masked her ADHD her entire life to present as the perfect eldest daughter.
Kristen growing up, always knowing there's something wrong with her, different about her, and she doesn't mean being queer.
Kristen who feels rejection deeply and personally, who is afraid of anyone leaving her and therefore refuses to get attached in the first place.
Kristen who's hypersensitive and needs time and space to process her surroundings.
Kristen who gets snappish when overstimulated and doesn't even realize that it's occurring.
Kristen who never had long term friends and is always hopping from one person to the next.
Kristen who's go-go-go but then can't remember why she raced through it in the first place.
Kristen who makes mistakes frequently and then hates herself for days.
Kristen Applebees with ADHD.
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I think ppl are maybe overstating the Naradriel & Kristen parallels I think when Ally said "is she like me" they were referring specifically to being adhd, but just didn't want to use those words bc Kristen doesn't know that about herself. It's not "Tracker is dating someone exactly like Kristen but rich, isn't that fucked up", it's "Naradriel is able to keep her life together while having adhd because she's wealthy with a rock solid support system but Kristen is a mess because the cards were stacked against her from the beginning and it isn't her fault, isn't that fucked up"
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kristen committing to certain facets of her life so hard that it’s almost (and sometimes is) unhealthy, and kristen knowing that she can’t handle certain things and ways of living (not being able to be what cassandra needs) but not being able to communicate that in a way that makes sense to others, and kristen with steps that vanish as soon as she moves to the next one, and kristen turning to avoidance as her method of dealing with things, and kristen being so indecisive about huge aspects of her life which creates conflict with others that she doesn’t know how to deal with because she’s a child, and kristen being WAY too relatable to Me growing up with undiagnosed adhd actually!
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Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...
You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.
And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?
(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)
Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?
You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.
You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.
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“i’m swimming, and if i happen to catch something floating i do, but it’s a real crapshoot for me finishing things”
“and i feel like if i attend a class more than two days in a row i lose interest”
get these kids some adderall asap oh my god is this the season of the bad kids getting neurodivergence diagnoses
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