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lightning-system · 3 months

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“This is the kind of energy that really gets me going as someone with ADHD and failing grades.”

-Ally Beardsley as Kristen Applebees

Kristen Applebees with ADHD

Kristen who cares about classes but has never been able to sit through a single one without zoning out.

Kristen who never learned how to study and did okay in elementary school but really struggles in high school without those skills.

Kristen who gets really passionate interests but loses them a month later

Kristen who is unmotivated and wonders why she can't stick to one thing, one belief.

Kristen who works really hard to understand all of her cleric abilities but this didn't come with a guide book.

Kristen who struggles with memorizations and constantly forgets her spells.

Kristen who can't sit still on long car trips, who's always bouncing a leg or tapping her fingers.

Kristen with poor auditory processing, always asking ‘what?’

Kristen who's hyperactivity always made her the perfect playmate for her younger brothers even though she was significantly older.

Kristen who's masked her ADHD her entire life to present as the perfect eldest daughter.

Kristen growing up, always knowing there's something wrong with her, different about her, and she doesn't mean being queer.

Kristen who feels rejection deeply and personally, who is afraid of anyone leaving her and therefore refuses to get attached in the first place.

Kristen who's hypersensitive and needs time and space to process her surroundings.

Kristen who gets snappish when overstimulated and doesn't even realize that it's occurring.

Kristen who never had long term friends and is always hopping from one person to the next.

Kristen who's go-go-go but then can't remember why she raced through it in the first place.

Kristen who makes mistakes frequently and then hates herself for days.

Kristen Applebees with ADHD.

#d20 #dimension 20 #d20 fantasy high #d20 fhjy #disabled #disability #dimension twenty #the bad kids #kristen applebees #adhd kristen #adhd kristen applebees #rsd #adhd rsd #neurodivergent #rejection sensitive dysphoria #my writing

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natjennie · 3 months

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something about "your anger isn't scary to me" is making me so emotional. something about as above so below, cassandra as a mirror of kristen. something about "I've been dropping the ball a lot lately" and kristen's struggles with adhd. something about teenage girls and rage and fury and justice. something about adaine's vision of ruining fallinel and the sylvaire looking for revenge. something about sadness and doubt and anger and love. something about "I choose to understand" being the absolute core theme of d20 in general. something something.

#something about kristen's adhd making her fuck things up and being mad at herself and that manifesting #as her deity being overcome with rage #something about fear and anger and shame and the inability to do better even when you're trying so hard #and something about people loving you anyway #something about 'your anger isnt scary to me'#as someone who had undiagnosed pcos in early high school and got so fucking MAD #something about adhd and how you're always failing and you have no one to blame but yourself #and how heart breaking it is to watch your life fall apart around you KNOWING you could do something #but being unable to do it right. always forgetting always slipping up #and how mad that makes you. at yourself.#this fight is so much #fhjy #d20 #dimension 20 #fantasy high

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mazeyphaedra · 1 month

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was rewatching fabian’s baron moment on account of it being the most delicious piece of pvp in my recent memory and ally beardsley’s growth as a player just shone through so brightly and with such clarity. after dusting off their shock they immediately asked about the nemesis ward, had enough knowledge about fellow pcs stocked to remember adaine’s ac with such like frustrated confidence and certainty, suggested to siobhan to dimension door out of adaine’s room, like. they came into this making a character with 4 dex. and now the dice deity offered to roll a check to sense if adaine was in danger. making decisions, asking questions, getting invested in the story, trying so hard with the tools they have to save characters from danger; ally beardsley is an incredible d&d player.

#blahblah tried to fly with a ribbon dancer SHUT UP. SHUT UP THEY HAD A VISION.#margaret encino’s call to the guards in battle of the brands is also a good moment #‘bonus action pick up a turtle and kiss it’ is CHARMING and FUNNY and APPRECIATES the art team #i swearrr to god if anyone comments abt them trying to railroad other players' actions. what the fuck do you want from them.#u hate when they play kristen as unserious when she’s literally a teenager with adhd + when theyre literally a comedian on a d&d comedy sho #but if theyre invested in other pc’s welfare youll shut them down too? bffr #ally beardsley you are so special to me #fully aware theyre an adult who likely does not care about people on the internet talking abt how theyre doing their job. as they should #they dont need defending they shouldnt need it people should just be normal abt them and until they are beardsley get behind me #yna.txt #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #dimension 20 #d20 #ally beardsley

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sluttycinderella · 17 days

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they should give kristen time and a half on the last stand! show them your 504 girlie!

#fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high #fhjy #kristen applebees #just adhd things #lee says things

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mongeese · 1 month

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I think ppl are maybe overstating the Naradriel & Kristen parallels I think when Ally said "is she like me" they were referring specifically to being adhd, but just didn't want to use those words bc Kristen doesn't know that about herself. It's not "Tracker is dating someone exactly like Kristen but rich, isn't that fucked up", it's "Naradriel is able to keep her life together while having adhd because she's wealthy with a rock solid support system but Kristen is a mess because the cards were stacked against her from the beginning and it isn't her fault, isn't that fucked up"

#like. it's very clear that naradriel and kristen are NOT the same person theyre quite different they just have the same brand of adhd #d20 #fantasy high #fhjy #fhjy spoilers

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moonlightmagical · 3 months

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kristen committing to certain facets of her life so hard that it’s almost (and sometimes is) unhealthy, and kristen knowing that she can’t handle certain things and ways of living (not being able to be what cassandra needs) but not being able to communicate that in a way that makes sense to others, and kristen with steps that vanish as soon as she moves to the next one, and kristen turning to avoidance as her method of dealing with things, and kristen being so indecisive about huge aspects of her life which creates conflict with others that she doesn’t know how to deal with because she’s a child, and kristen being WAY too relatable to Me growing up with undiagnosed adhd actually!

#ouch kristen applebees!! ouch!!!#this is me stream of consciousness being emotional about having adhd and how much it sucks don’t mind me #fantasy high #dimension 20 #kristen applebees #fantasy high junior year #fh #fhjy #d20

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starful-emporium · 3 months

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wild how ally beardsley just says things like this while wearing a blanket as a hat

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #ally beardsley #adventuring party #kristen applebees #adhd

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har-har-harvey · 13 days

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hey btw y’all, just wanna let y’all know that the most heart melting, almost made me cry, in-the-running-for-favorite moment of the season has 100% been the immediate “i give her the help action” to lydia barkrock with absolutely zero hesitation from kristen

#she cares about everyone so much all the time!!!!#and she simply doesn’t show it in conventional ways!!#BECAUSE SHES NEURODIVERGENT!!!#so she tries to help people and tries to do what she has to do and also things she WANTS to do and fails SO OFTEN #but she is at a disadvantage and doesn’t even realize ittttt!!!!!#and she doesn’t have the tools to help her succeed!!!!#:((((#like give that girl some fantasy adderall PLSSS #IM BEGGING YOU BLEEM AND ALLY #DONT LET HER DO TO HERSELF WHAT I DID TO MYSELF IN HS #cause i see me in her and i so much so don’t know how to be normal abt it #she just like me fr #dimension 20 #dimension 20 fantasy high #dimension twenty fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 fantasy high junior year #d20 fhjy #dimension 20 fhjy #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #kristen applebees #lydia barkrock #adhd #adhd posting #ally beardsley #bleem #brennan lee mulligan #queue are... my fire. the one... desire.

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undercoverangell · 2 months

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everyone out here like "well yknow tracker made valid points but -- " meanwhile i am hexing her bloodline. idc if theyre valid never ever disrespect the homegirl like that. shes gonna be president bitch.

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy spoilers #tracker o'shaughnessey #kristen applebees #ALSO SMTHN SMTHN IM A KID WITH ADHD THAT CONVERSATION HIT SUPER CLOSE TO HIM AND IM SURE IVE HAD IT AND ALSO HER TIMING WAS AWFUL #TRACKER PLEASE HAVE SOME TACT HER GOD JUST FUCKING DIED READ THE ROOM

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the-tomato-soup · 1 month

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it's crazy how the bad kids are a perfect 50/50 split autism and adhd

Adaine, Riz, Gorgug ← autism adhd → Fig, Kristen, Fabian

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fabian seacaster #riz gukgak #fig faeth #gorgug thistlespring #adaine abernant #kristen applebees #autism #adhd #i have both so i have authority to speak on this

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lightningidle · 1 month

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Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...

You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.

And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?

(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)

Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?

You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.

You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.

#Dimension 20 #fig faeth #fhjy #Idle Chatter #my last two years of college were when I started to get more and more nauseous about my own art #because I wasn't being taught how to make the art I wanted to make #the whole curriculum's focus was on gallery art #which infuriated me! I wanted to make art that didn't have to involve twelve layers of meaning and metaphor to be considered good!!#so I drove myself into the ground time and again trying to make (miserable) work that I thought would fit the criteria of a Real Artist #anyway it's been 4 years and I'm just now picking at why I don't enjoy creating anymore so Fig's whole arc has hit home in a major way #ALSO. AAAAALSO. THE ADHD STRUGGLE WE SEE WITH BOTH FIG AND KRISTEN. LOVING SOMETHING BUT STILL STRUGGLING WITH FOLLOW THROUGH #BEING TOLD YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH WHEN IT'S SO FUCKING HARD JUST TO GET WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IT'S HARD FOR YOU #it was easy and now that the rubber's hit the road it's hard for you but not for others so it must be YOU that's the problem #you must be lazy or stupid or just not suited to this after all even though it's part of a pattern that has been happening all your life #if you were good enough or cared enough then surely the discipline would come easily to you! the way it comes easily to all your classmates #SCREAMS I gotta stop before I write a second essay in the tags. I'm so normal you can trust me to be normal about D&D characters

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campspawn · 3 months

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yknow i know a lot of people are upset about cassandra dying which i get. BUT. i can’t fucking wait for kristen’s ‘my deity is dead i’m a cleric and i’ve killed TWO gods in rapid fire succession what am i gonna fucking do’ arc because i think it’s gonna be the best kristen arc yet

#like i don’t think kristen actually believes in doubt is the thing. she’s an apathetic teenager struggling with adhd and burnout and so #mystery and doubt SEEMED awesome at the time but like. she says it herself it’s a hard pill to swallow! she tried to make a new god and it #failed because she’s a fucking teenager. she tried to resurrect an ancient dead god and failed because she’s a fucking teenager.#where does she go from here? frankly i can see kristen going chaotic evil/evil neutral VERY easily #OR maybe switching classes. but i think more likely we’re gonna see kristen god hunting again and she’s either not gonna find one and it’ll #be wild or she’s gonna find an evil one who’s willing to gamble on the god killing cleric #but i could see warlock in kristen’s future. archfey sworn warlock?? cassandra brought up that she had offers from the fey and afair the fey #haven’t come up much in fantasy high. it’s been very demon and diety focused devotion and magic #but idk i think we could see it!#fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fhjy #fhjy spoilers

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let-me-sleep-or-die · 3 months

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Fantasy High season 3 turning me into Kristen Applebees #1 defender

#Also am her biggest opp rn #besides 3dogs name girl #I love her so much and will defend her till I die but also girl I’m begging you take a minute and tlisten hunk before we speak #But also you are so me pre adhd meds I get you I love you and want the best for you growth isn’t linear #kristen applebees #dimension twenty #dimension 20 #dimension20 #d20 #fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #brennan lee mulligan #ally beardsley #dimension 20 fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #d20 fhjy

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aspiring-wildfire · 3 months

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“i’m swimming, and if i happen to catch something floating i do, but it’s a real crapshoot for me finishing things”

“and i feel like if i attend a class more than two days in a row i lose interest”

get these kids some adderall asap oh my god is this the season of the bad kids getting neurodivergence diagnoses

#kristen applebees #fig faeth #adhd besties!!#also riz and adaine are autistic i don’t make the rules #probably gorgug too but i’m more willing to put him and fabian up for debate #d20 #dimension 20 #the bad kids #fantasy high #fhjy

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sluttycinderella · 3 months

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dear god someone get kristin applebees some vyvanse PLEASE

#the adhd lesbian representation feels TARGETTED #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #kristen applebees #the bad kids #lee says things

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beans-void · 3 months

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Kalina was always just trying to help Cassandra. I don't know if her being back is necessarily a bad thing. It will definitely ensure that Kristen stops ignoring her problems.

#as someone who has adhd i 100% get it #infact it is almost a direct attack #fantasy high #fhjy #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #dimension 20 spoilers #kristen applebees #kalina

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