#aaand now i have Yet Another Ridiculous Ship
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*dead because of blushing*
(OK FAMS HI
Oke just a little side note before we begin, I don’t mean to offend ANY German people in this! This is how they made him talk in the game, so I’m just following his character.
Also, YES. I DO SHIP IT THANK YOU VERY MUCH. You can take this platonically or not, but I did add one little shippy scene in this 🚢
Serioulsy, Lee!Werner is so cute to mehdjsndhskbd I CANT EVEN??? I’m a mess thinking about it XD
I hope you enjoy!~
((tem sez: this is yet aNOTHER BEAUTIFUL BLESSING BY @kittychanaskthecrew who you should go follow rn if you aren’t already!!! *w* ))
Cheer Up, Won’t You?
Werner put his face in his hands as he sobbed uncontrollably. He hadn’t cried in a few years. Tears were streaming down his face, each little high pitched squeak and hiccup making him even more drained. People around the isles had been spreading rumors about the rat. “Working in a small room on Rube Goldberg projects won’t get him anywhere.” Some would say. “No, he went crazy years ago! The war was too much for him, so he popped a screw. He makes little trinkets to calm himself down from the war.”
Even the smallest of words can get to the toughest of people, Werner had found. He could feel his heart actually ache, his small yet lanky body trembling. Why was he crying so hard? He didn’t have to be such a baby over a few harmless rumors, right? Right? He had managed to bottle everything up for years after the war. Those weren’t little trinkets in the war- oh no. They were giant missiles- huge tanks- ginormous aircrafts, and all were made in under a week. He knew all of this very well, so why is it suddenly hurting so bad? Every rumor seemed to bring back a familiar memory from the war.
Suddenly, he heard someone knock on his door. Oh dear god, it couldn’t be. Not right now. With the the perfect “rat-a-tat-tat!” Humming at his door, he felt almost 100% sure it was who he thought it was. Werner got up slowly, wiping his eyes with a little squeak. He winced as he felt the pounding feeling rush back to his head the second he stood up. Everything was spinning.
When Werner opened up the door, he saw none other than the well composed Dr. Kahl. He was as prim and neat as ever, the only thing seemingly “untidy” about him being his long, curly hair that was puffing out at the sides of his head. “Oh, ahm, hello, Kahl.” Werner said, his voice soft and raw from crying. Dr. Kahl smiled. “Why hello, Werner! I was just stopping by to,” Suddenly, Dr. Kahl’s face fell. He immediately went from a slightly self centered know-it-all, to a concerned and shocked man.
“What on earth has happened to you?” Kahl said, almost trembling when he saw the red in Werner’s eyes. He immediately knew that Werner had been crying, crying very hard nonetheless. “I… did nacht get much schleep last night?” Werner said, grinning a little. Dr. Kahl chuckled as they walked inside, Werner telling him everything.
“Ah, I see,” Dr. Kahl smiled. “We should have to find a way to make you smile, now shouldn’t we?” Werner’s face visibly became red. “Now, now, I don’t sink zis is necezaree-“ “Nonsense!” Kahl butted in. “You are feeling sad, and as one of your closest and fondest friends, I shall help you along!”
Over the course of two hours, Dr. Kahl has tried everything that he knew to make Werner happy. Trying his most bori- funny jokes, showing him a book on mechanics, and even letting him see a few blueprints for one of his upcoming machines. Unfortunately for the both of them, nothing would work. Werner, eventually driving himself to tears again, had to step outside for a moment to compose himself. Though this upset his friend that he had to do this, it left him to look at his amazing room.
It may not seem like much to the average eye, it was incredible to Dr. Kahl. Blueprints, equipment, and most of all, the books. There were books everywhere! Manuals, guides, and even some of Werner’s own plans. Through all of the books that caught Dr. Kahl’s eye, one in particular really got his attention. It was a small notebook, the cover worn down and the pages dulled by pencil lead. Dr. Kahl knew that he shouldn’t look through something like this, he almost knew that he NEEDED to. (For science, of course!)
As he flipped through the pages, he saw amazing sketches of anatomy of different creatures. Mr. Kahl immediately decided that Werner also loved to sketch, as he was terrific at it. Though the more he searched through the journal, he realized that there was a pattern being repeated. Tickling. The curious doctor was suddenly interested, immediately flipping through page after page of tickling. Some pages were of Werner wondering why he couldn’t say the word “tickle”, and others where he was practically screaming out to be tickled.
Dr. Kahl then realized that Werner had wanted something like this to happen to him for a long time. He finally knew what would cheer the poor fella up. Sure, it’s childish and a bit embarrassing, but it would work.
Werner came back into the room, eyes red again. “Zoree, I didn’t mean to do zat. I have not cried in a vile now.” Dr. Kahl didn’t say anything, just patted the bed beside him. Werner obliged, sitting down next to him. A squeeze to his side made Werner jump, his eyes widening. “Vait!-“ but that’s all he could say before he was pushed down onto the bed, immediately attacked with tickles.
“What a very nice laugh you have, Werner!” Dr. Kahl teaser, scratching along Werner’s collarbone, another hand creeping up along his side. “EEhehEHEHheheheE! zTAhPpiT!” He squealed, high pitched giggles ringing out through the air. “Oh, but you wouldn’t want that, would you? A little notebook on your shelf told me otherwise.” The doctor winked. “Now, stay still! I’m trying to examine your body!” He said, running his fingers under his knees and admiring the squeal. “VhyhyhyYHYhyhYYHY DIHIHID YOohooU reHEHEAd ZAHAHAhahaAT?!” He screeched, feet pounding on the ground.
Werner was kicking and squealing, his eyes back to a white tint and his face with a grin. When Dr. Kahl reached the rat’s stomach, he paused, clawing his hand right above the sensitive spot. Poor Werner squealed and squirmed our of anticipation. “Eeeeek!” He whimpered. Suddenly, two fingers danced across his stomach, making it quiver and jump. Dr. Kahl chuckled. “You really do have a sensitive stomach, don’t you? You just love it when I tickle, tickle, tickle there!” He said, and dug all of his fingers into his stomach.
Werner absolutely screamed with delight, kicking and thrashing about. “nnyaaaAAAAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHE! ES KITZELT! ES KITZELT! Ich kann nicht aufhören zu lache!” He screeched, his high pitched voice going up an octave. “And I also know from your little journal,” Dr. Kahl grinned, pinning Werner’s arms above his head. “That you like to be tickled, just. Like. This.” He suddenly began to blow raspberries all over his stomach, neck, and collarbone.
Everything started to feel so tingly on Werner. He was thrashing and squealing, giggling and snorting. Even though he would never admit it, it was quite obvious that he liked it. But when he felt something nibbling at the extremely sensitive skin on his ears, his laugher went silent.
Dr. Kahl immediately stopped as Werner curled up into a little ball, no longer the tough guy or the depressed guy, but a tiny, cute lee that wants so much to be tickled. He was still giggling and gasping from the tickles, clutching his sides. He looked adorable spread out on the bed, his face less splotchy, but now replaced with a red blush on his face. He finally got the courage to look up at Kahl, who was currently gazing down at him, chuckling.
“V-vhy did you stop, Kahl?” Werner giggled, curling up again.
“Well why wouldn’t I?” Dr. Kahl said, putting a finger to his chin as if he were pretending to think. “Obviously, you didn’t like it.” Werner sat up. “Yes I did!- I mean-“ he covered his mouth. “Well, whatever did you want me to do again? I completely forgot.” That idiot. Werner mumbled something under his breath. “Er ist so ein Idiot.” Dr. Kahl perked up. “So what would it be that you want?” “Kitzel Mich.” “What was that?” “Kitzel me.” Dr. Kahl grinned. “What was tha-“ “Tickle me!” Werner shouted. Dr. Kahl kissed him on the forehead, making him jump and blush very hard. “V-vhat?” He said, giggling nervously as Kahl looked over him with wiggling fingers.
The seemingly tough, yet sad soldier had turned into a cute, giggly mess that day, yet the composed near freak had turned playful and joyous. Now, thankfully for Werner, he gets tickled more than once a week because of Kahl.
They both love switching their roles up a little bit.
#SFAJLLKSLG THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT EVER#aaand now i have Yet Another Ridiculous Ship#<333#werner werman#dr kahl#lab rat#i think that's their ship name#lee!werner#ler!kahl#cuphead#fanfic#author: kittychanaskthecrew#submission
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Plank all over me
Ship: Madderton
Word Count: 2099
Summary: Richard and Taron are in the studio of the BBC Radio One, giving an interview. After a few questions Matt decides to let them play the “Plank all over me” game while asking more questions. Richard starts teasing Taron who’s planking over him.
Additional Tags: fluff, soft, fooling around, interview, teasing
Based on a request
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“And today in the studio with me, are Richard Madden known as Robb Stark from Game of Thrones or David Budd from Bodyguard, and Taron Egerton mostly known for his performance as Elton John in the movie Rocketman or Eggsy Unwin in the Kingsman movies. Hello to you two.”
Richard leans forward to his microphone. “Hello, nice to be here.”
“So a few questions for you, that have been sent in by fans.” Matt says, who’s sitting opposite them at the big round table in the studio of BBC Radio One. “First question, what is the movie you enjoyed shooting the most?”
“Well, I have been working on several things with amazing casts and crews, so I’m enjoying my job most of the time. But I think my favorite was Rocketman, we had an amazing cast. Dex as our director, and well, I had the pleasure to watch Taron working there.” Richard starts and smirks at T who is sitting next to him.
“I can only agree with what Richard just said. I couldn’t be happier with any other projects because this has been such a stunning journey. Meeting Elton and becoming that close with him, working with Dex again and this stunning cast.” Taron looks over at Rich who watches him silently and grabs his hand under the table. “And I met my boyfriend there, no other movie can top that.” He smiles and sees Richard blushing slightly.
“Okay maybe a weird topic change, but who is the fitter one of you?” he asks and looks at them curiously.
“Phew, I don’t know.” Taron says and laughs a bit. What kind of question was that?
“What are you up to with that question, Matt?” Richard asks giggling softly and leans back in his chair watching their interviewer.
“Well, we do have a game here called “Plank all over me”. And we would love to do that with you.” Matt explains.
“Oh, I’m gonna let Taron do this.” Rich says and grins at his boyfriend. He wouldn’t be doing that over Matt or Taron, no way.
“What exactly is this game about?” Taron asks confused and looks from Matt to Richard.
“So basically, it’s me lying on the floor while you’re planking over me and I ask you questions. You have to do it as long as you can and we’re gonna stop the time. My idea for this here is that in this case, Richard lies underneath you, while you have to answer questions about you two.”
“Can’t promise I’ll last long then.” Taron jokes and they all start laughing. “Okay then.”
Richard makes himself comfortable on the floor and watches Taron, who planks over him and braces himself on his underarms. The countdown starts, and the microphones get closer to them.
“First question, because we were speaking about you meeting Richard on set of Rocketman. What was your first impression of Richard?”
“Ridiculously attractive, deep blue eyes aaand…very funny.” Taron answers and grins down at Rich who’s rolling his eyes playfully.
“Do you remember what he was wearing on your first date?”
“First date, god that’s been a while.” Taron thinks for a second and tries to find out what they did for their first date. Then he remembers them walking through a park and just talking before getting something to eat and chilling at Richards place later in the evening. “Oh, now I remember. He was wearing black jeans, a white shirt, and a black jacket.”
“Richard, do you remember what Taron looked like?”
Rich turns a bit more to the microphone. “Yes, he was wearing black jeans, a dark green shirt, and a black jacket. I think you were wearing your glasses as well that day.”
Taron frowns slightly and looks down at him. “You still remember that?”
“Sure. We were at the park and when you said something mean I started tickling you and your glasses fell on the floor.” Richard smirks a bit at that memory.
“Oh, yeah you’re right.” T chuckles softly and sees the adoration in Richard’s deep blue eyes. “You’re not allowed to make me weak with your damn blue eyes, love. That’s cheating.” Taron says and giggles happily.
“Do you want me to close them, or what?” Richard asks laughing and Taron changes his position slightly.
“No.” T laughs.
“Almost ten minutes already, Taron. How are you feeling?” Matt asks and looks over to them.
“Pretty good actually.” He answers and looks over to him.
“He’s not even shaking yet.” Rich says and shakes his head slightly.
“Okay, so. How long have you been together now?”
“Exactly four years, seven months and-.” T frowns shortly and counts the days in his thoughts. “eleven days.”
“Are you counting days?” Rich asks laughing and can’t believe how soft the face of his boyfriend becomes.
“Yes, darling.”
“Favorite moment you shared with Richard on set?”
“No comment.” Taron says with a cheeky tone in his voice and winks at Richard.
“Oh my god.” Rich groans and starts laughing knowing exactly what Taron means. Shooting Honky Cat without losing control over themselves has been a challenge and Richard remembers how they went back to his trailer and T kissed him for the hundredth time that day. They ended up in bed, pressed close against each other and moaning each other’s name, finally releasing all the need they built up the whole day.
“Okay no. Phew, favorite moment on set. Realizing I fell in love with him and he felt the same way.” T says and pushes himself up a bit more again. His hands are tangled on the floor behind Richard’s head and he plays with the soft hair of his boyfriend shortly.
“Aw lovely! That is sixteen minutes now. Still feeling good?”
“Yes!” T says chuckling and stares down at Richard’s full lips. Damn, he would love to kiss him right now.
“Don’t give up because of something you’re gonna get later.” Richard whispers recognizing the dreamy look of his golden boy.
“I won’t.” Taron promises and looks back at Matt. “Okay, go on.”
“Are you still smoking?”
“No. And Rich quit as well.” He states and carefully changes his position a bit. “God, now it’s getting challenging.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“Losing Richard or my life like it is at the moment.” Taron looks down at Rich with a soft smile and Rich mouths I love you.
“Coffee or tea?”
“Coffee!” Taron spits out quickly and takes a deep breath.
“Sweet Popcorn or salty?”
“What? Salty of course!” T looks at him in shock. “I still can’t believe that people prefer sweet popcorn, I mean?”
“No fan of sweet things then?” Matt asks laughing and looks back at the clock.
“Look at my boyfriend, and you’ll hopefully realize how stupid that question was.” Taron groans and feels his arms starting to hurt, the tension in his legs and stomach increase as well.
“Dork.” Rich chuckles and looks up to him, seeing his lover’s face turning a bit sweaty.
“Yours are the sweetest eyes, I’ve ever seen.” Taron sings and huffs out air afterwards. “Singing is a bad idea in that position.”
“Can think of funnier things to do in that position.” Richard whispers so only Taron can hear and sees him blushing and shooting him a glare.
“That is 23 minutes, Taron! We never had someone that went that far before!”
“Will I able to hold it for another seven minutes?” he wonders and moans a bit feeling the pain in his exhausted arms.
Richard looks up to him and bites his lower lip. Damn, this was torture having Taron over him a few centimeters away and moaning softly from time to time. “If you do, you’ll get a reward tonight.” he whispers and sees the fire in Taron’s eyes. Challenge accepted.
“Something you’ve always wanted to do with Richard, but he wouldn’t let you?”
“Well.” Taron starts giggling and thinks of some things that wouldn’t be appropriate for the Radio and Rich rolls his eyes realizing it. “I am not sure, maybe eating fried chicken all the time.”
“What?” Richard starts laughing underneath him. “You’re crazy! How could you possibly eat the same thing every day?!”
“Tell me.” Taron says and winks at him.
Richard shoots him a glare and shakes his head. Naughty bastard. But what Taron can do, he could do better. He stares directly into his eyes, licks his lips shortly and casually and smirks a bit. T blushes and feels himself getting hot. God no, he thinks to himself.
“Your ideal weekend?” Matt asks, not seeing what was going on between Richard and Taron next to him on the floor.
“Just chilling at home, doing nothing and having Rich with me.” T says and groans slightly. “God, how long do I have to continue this?”
“Four minutes to go, Taron. What is the best prank you have played on Richard so far?”
“Best prank, oh my god..” Taron starts laughing and tries to hold himself up. “I told him I’d be away shooting for a whole year and acted like it wouldn’t disturb me at all. And I’m always getting homesick after like one month.” T continues to giggle. “Richard couldn’t believe his ears when I told him it’s not a problem at all and a year break would do us good.”
“Ugh, I remember that.” Richard growls and feels like he could get mad at him again for that.
“It was funny, until he found out and well, he wasn’t really amused by my joke.” Taron explains and leans his head further down breathing heavy.
“Well, of course I wasn’t!” Rich rolls his eyes and sees how Taron’s body starts shaking uncontrollably. “Two minutes to go.”
“Wow, that’s mean!” Matt says laughing and watches Taron with an amused look. “Have you ever done something in public that embarrassed Richard?”
“Besides being me?” Taron asks.
“Idiot.” Richard says and smiles up to him.
“I don’t know anything specific. I mean I start singing or dancing whenever I feel like it, which may be embarrassing.” Taron chuckles and groans loudly. “How long do I have to do this?!”
“One minute Taron. What is something you regret?”
“Ugh, being here and doing this, I guess? I don’t know!” he chokes out and contorts his face in pain. He leans closer to Richard. “I’m shaking harder than during the hardest orgasms you ever gave me.” He whispers and pushes himself up again.
“Oh you’re gonna regret this statement tonight, I promise.” Rich teases him and Taron whines a bit.
“On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate your kisses?” Matt asks and glances at the clock. 40 seconds to go.
“Ask Richard!” Taron groans and feels himself getting weaker and weaker.
Matt laughs and moves on to the next question. “Favorite cologne?”
“His.” He just groans and nods towards his boyfriend.
“If you had to switch lives with someone, who would you choose?”
“With Rich so I could tell you if my kisses are a ten.” They all start laughing again and Taron groans. “God!”
“Ten seconds. Let’s do a countdown!” Matt says and starts counting.
“Oh my god I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.“ Taron moans and starts breathing faster.
“Yeah, but not because of this.” Richard whispers and smirks cheekily.
“30 minutes Taron! That’s a huge record, my god!” Matt shouts and starts clapping.
Taron just groans weakly and collapses onto Richard. He tries to catch his breath and Richard rubs his back. “Proud of you love.” He says and presses a kiss in his hair while comforting him in his arms.
Taron pushes himself up and smiles. “That was the longest time ever that I was that close to you and didn’t kiss you.” He explains and Matt starts laughing when T groans and says: “Enough of that now.” Taron sinks down and gives him a long sweet kiss stroking through his hair and panting against his lips.
They get up and sit down again saying goodbye. Richard grabs Taron’s hand and they leave the studio walking to their car. As soon as their inside Rich leans over to the passenger seat and kisses Taron passionately. “You looked so fucking hot doing that over me.”
“I see, the next time in bed I’m gonna keep a bit distance and tease the shit out of ya.” Taron smirks cheekily and buckles up.
“We’ll see who gets teased.” Rich says and starts the car looking at him.
“Is that a threat?”
“Maybe.” He says smirking and can hear Taron giggling next to him.
@taron-eggmcmuffin @anxiety-at-the-classroom @primaba11erina @multicoloredchicken @sarahegerton96 @naptitimadderton @maddertonmyheart @madderton-obsessed
#taron egerton#Richard Madden#richard x taron#madderton#taron x richard#taron egerton fic#richard madden fic#madderton fic#taron egerton fluff#richard madden fluff#soft#fooling around#interview#teasing#fic
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Okay, so The Rise of Skywalker. Saw it two weeks ago but it’s hard to do anything when you have so much free time ;) Two weeks ago I wrote the following: I’m a little dumbfounded… It felt like a string of fan theories put together, with a video game mode of running after stuff from one place to another xD they put in so much stuff but somehow not enough… Feeling? And I think this still sums up my impression the best. Nevertheless:
So we begin with some Sith artefacts none-one’s ever heard of… This is so reminiscent of some fan videos and theories I got into after TFA, many of them based on Legends/the old EU, things that never appeared in the movies. I’m fond of fan theories, but this just didn’t fit in at all here, and seemed so… artificial, video game-like: suddenly there’s a thing we need to find and then it’ll be fine! But first we need to find this thing and go somewhere else and do another thing and then we’ll reach the place!
Like… The Last Jedi was built around characters with personalities, their interactions and conflicts, and for all its faults that made it engaging. This felt completely flat. It was just going from place to place, maybe except for some of the Kylo & Rey scenes, there was barely any feeling in it.
Also, some scenes were so artificial and obvious set-ups, like the woman with the necklace demanding Rey’s full name – maybe she’s from a planet with different naming conventions, how do you know, lady? – just so she can say she’s nobody and then have the necklace taken by Kylo, and the woman at the end, so that Rey can say she’s Rey Skywalker, and Luke giving Rey two lightsabers so that she can give one to Ben (the scene itself was awesome, yes, but the set-up was painfully transparent). Devices, yes, but don’t be so blatant about it.
What was the point of that Threepio stunt? It’s introduced as a heartbreaking sacrifice, then it turns out nobody cares, then it’s played for laughs, and then it’s reversed. Really?
The Palpatine thing is such a clumsily done retcon, honestly. Yes, he was the ultimate Big Bad in the previous trilogies, so in that aspect it kind of makes sense, but in regards to Rey... They made themselves nobodies? Yeah, no, Kylo’s vision and words from TLJ don’t fit this, you can’t square that one. And so Rey’s arc from The Last Jedi is neatly undone and she matters because of her family and very nearly (see below) is defined by her ancestry. Honestly, whichever version you prefer, it would be better to stick to one. That’s not getting into the problems of selling your children.
And really… Rey suddenly and accidentally bursting out some Force lighting supposedly shows “who she really is”? When has the Force ever worked that way? And of course it only happens when it’s convenient. And suddenly “no-one knows me”. Great, now you can be emo together.
And why would Palpatine even want to have descendants? As a backup plan?
And that’s not getting into the fact that apparently Palpatine had a son, who was alive during OT, who somehow rebelled against him, and that’s a story potentially more interesting than this movie, which is ignored. Actually… all right, possibly Rey’s father was not Force-sensitive, which was why Palpatine wanted Rey specifically, but the wording (“to protect you”) makes it sound as if all that rebellion happened only after Rey was born and he realised Palpatine’s intentions towards her, which raises further questions. But enough on that.
It is also incidentally implied that Stormtroopers who defected are Force-sensitive, and that, too, is ignored. What Finn wanted to tell Rey could be that he loved her or that he was Force-sensitive, but, of course, it is never revealed. (Wait wait, apparently it was confirmed it was about the Force. He does talk about how he understands her several times, so that makes sense.)
Speaking of which, once again there is an effort to humanise the Stormtroopers… which is then once again ignored.
Also speaking of which, for someone raised to be mindless soldier, Finn has had quite a love life – like, approximately four possible love interests?
Remember when there was a sandworm in one of The Hobbit movies and people were joking that Legolas’ blue eyes were due to Spice? Now we can do that with SW, too!
Remember when I said I didn’t believe the Knights of Ren even existed? You probably don’t. But they might as well not. For all the mystery and speculation they turn out to be slightly more elite mooks and are killed in approximately their second scene. Even the Praetorian Guards were more impressive.
Hux being the spy is… silly. Wasn´t he super into the First Order? Now he´s undermining it just to spite Kylo. But it is rather funny.
I feel that having Leia start a Jedi training and then quit due to visions takes away from her character. What’s wrong with preferring a political/military career while being Force-sensitive? But no, she needs to have run through the woods with a lightsaber and bested Luke, of course.
Plus, Leia of all people attacking Kylo… This is upsetting. At least have her appear to him as she dies, too. I mean, like so much in this movie, the idea itself was interesting, but the execution undermined it.
I liked Rey healing Kylo’s wound, but it is true that the sudden introduction of Force healing (no matter its earlier introduction in The Mandalorian) raises some questions about why it’s never appeared before.
I am amazed at Adam Driver’s acting. The moment Ben comes back to the Light, you can see it in his face. It’s unbelievable how much he manages to convey. That man is a gift and I am happy it was not Eddie Redmayne, sorry
The ship in the desert, maybe, but you can’t tell me Luke’s X-Wing is readily functional after having been who-knows-how-many years underwater. That’s just ridiculous.
What was that football stadium. Who were these people. What was going on.
What was even Palpatine’s plan? Was it that because Rey was related to him, he could body surf into her and continue ruling, as some people are interpreting it? Or was it the old “strike me with your hate/anger and complete your turn to the dark side”, in which case it wasn’t even all that relevant that they were related, as he had another Force-sensitive family to prey upon already? And then it turns to “I can just suck power out of you two and it’s good enough”.
How was Ben able to get that planet unnoticed? That’s not to mention another falling-apart ship. Oh, but his entrance, with a blaster, and then passing the lightsabre between them, that was incredibly cool :D
A fleet of planet-killing ships, fine, we needed to up the stakes yet again, but they still have a single weak point… I guess there’s not point complaining about that.
We saw Ben smile :) It was so beautiful :) And they kissed :)
...aaand then of course he had to die *sigh*
I haven’t heard the word “dyad” in that context before, but I have read a bit about Force bonds, and aren’t you supposed to completely devastated after the other one dies, as if something is torn out of your soul? Even leaving that aside, wasn’t Rey rather fond of him? Show some grief, maybe? No?
We get to the end, and we are remembering that we are watching a movie called “The Rise of Skywalker”. All the Skywalkers and their descendants are dead. Solution: have Rey tell a conveniently placed rando she is a Skywalker and leave her to continue the Jedi and Skywalker legacy (the latter of which may not be so stellar, come to think of it). She is once again alone on a desert planet, but now she is different, and ready to set out and do… something. But on the other hand, she’s alone on a desert planet again, so she ended up where she had begun (still alone!)… and so did the story of the Skywalker bloodline, on the planet both Anakin and Luke disliked so much and Leia had nothing to do with. All that to have a repeat shot. I’m not all that impressed.
On the whole this movie gives the impression that the filmmakers were trying to play it safe and pander to the fans, mostly to the fans who disliked TLJ and those who craved nostalgia, and distance themselves from TLJ as much as possible, while cramming a lot of material into the movie at the expense of emotional depth. There’s no time to explore this significant moment, we need to rush elsewhere! Many of the concepts could have worked much better if the had been given more time and focus, but the end result is a mess. Not to mention the ST as a whole feels inconsistent. And yes, I’m upset that Ben died! But that’s part of playing it safe, I’m afraid.
I’m not going to go into the last-minute editing controversy.
I watched the SCB review and they said it was a combination of Harry Potter, Avengers and GoT finales – very accurate ;)
Eh.
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Happy Gracesversary!
{To celebrate, here's what I've been working on!}
The strong wintry sun was peeking out above the windmills by the time the lord of Lhant clambered out of his bed. Wandering over to the window, Asbel took a quick glance at the calendar. He stopped. "No way…" He mumbled, surprised. That was far sooner than he thought.
"Huh..?" A mess of red hair appeared from under the blankets, blinking at him.
"There are only six days!"
"Of course there are, do you even pay attention to the date?" Cheria sighed, shaking her head and sitting up. Asbel smiled at her.
"Maybe I haven't been paying any attent- Ah." He stopped mid-sentence, looking sheepishly down at her. "I haven't sent the invitations…"
"Asbel!" She chided, springing out of bed. "That's it! I've been telling you for weeks!" He winced under her glare, although she had a point.
"Okay, I know, I forgot- but I'll do them today!"
"Good." Satisfied, Cheria got out of bed and started getting dressed. Smiling to himself, Asbel sat on the windowsill and looked out. Sophie was watering her flowers, drifting around the garden. Her determination to keep them alive during winter was admirable, and really rather adorable. She looked up and waved. Asbel waved back. Unlike the rest of them, Sophie's appearance hasn't changed since their last adventure. Asbel thought back on it happily, trying to pat down his unruly hair. Cheria snickered at his attempt, and he laughed too.
After finally getting ready for the day, Asbel sat at the end of his long office. The chairs along the sides of the room were old, dusty, and useless, but the lord kept them anyway. The room had barely changed in the ten years he had been lord, and neither had his schedule. Working all morning, lunch, yet more work, then you guessed it, work. It kept him out of trouble, and it wasn't unpleasant. The noise of a quill scratching against paper filled the space as Asbel tried working out the draft. "Friends, I extend an invite from Lhant to celebrate- that's way too formal!" He huffed and crossed that one out. Invitations were surprisingly difficult. He tried another draft. And another. And even more. The sun had risen to noon by the time he settled on something. "Old friends, Cheria, Sophie and I want to know if you'll come to celebrate with us in Lhant in six days? Hey, that works!"
"Asbel?" Sophie blinked, leaning through the open window. "What's that?"
"Morning Sophie." He leaned over and patted her. "I'm inviting everyone to visit."
"Oh..!" Sophie smiled, her eyes twinkling. "Yay. We haven't seen them in ages!"
"I know, everyone's been really busy lately." Abel shook his head, typing the message into Pascal's wonderful creation of a messenger. "I mean, Richard's king, for a start… Hubert's really important in Strata, Pascal's running around both planets at full steam, and who knows what captain Malik is doing…" He laughed thinking about them. "And of course, we're busy here as well."
"Mmm." Sophie nodded, looking up at the sky. "I like this busy. It's nicer than the other busy, I think."
"Oh, I definitely agree. There's no better busy than a peaceful busy."
✿
One again in the town of Lhant, the sun raised late and bright. Large, fluffy, grey clouds filled the sky, and frost coated each house's roof. The first risers were out and about, wrapped up in thick coats. The day promised to be cold, freezing even, but that did nothing to dampen the young lord's spirits. The Lhant family were flitting about their house, each making sure everything would be just perfect for when the others arrived. Despite the weather, the manor was filled with pure excitement. Gossip ran rampant, ranging from benign topics to utter ridiculousness. All the chaos could, in an odd way, be described as organised. Everyone knew what they were supposed to do. Today was the day.
"Asbel, Cheria!" Sophie sprinted into the house, smiling wide.
"Yes, dear?" Cheria poked her head out of the guest room she was setting up, as Asbel leaned over the banister and looked down at Sophie.
"Huh? Yeah?"
"Richard's ship is docking now." Her grin spread as she looked between her parents.
"Really? How can you tell?"
"I saw Richard surrounded by guards." Sophie blinked. "I'm going to go look for the captain now."
"Aaand there she goes." Asbel chuckled, watching Sophie run back outside. Descending quickly down the stairs, he went over to Cheria, who was smiling softly.
"She's definitely excited to see everyone again."
"So am I! I mean, it's been ages since a full group reunion." Asbel thought about it. It really had been. Sure, Hubert and occasionally Pascal came over for family dinners; they used 'official lord business' trips to visit Richard; and Malik would show up sometimes; but never all at once. It made him smile. He missed them.
"It really has. Come on, now we know King Richard's almost here, we've got to work on everything!" Cheria patted his shoulder, a warm grin on her face. She went back to work, so Asbel wandered the town, making sure it was all in order.
A small commotion could be heard over by the apple tree. Huh, Richard was going to enter from the other gate. Unless? Asbel made his way over, the crowd parting for him. The mop of blue hair was unmistakable. "Hubert!" Asbel grinned widely as he looked at his little brother. The man clad entirely in blue put a hand up in greeting, giving a small smile.
"I'm home." He said as Asbel stood next to him.
"Yes, you are! Come on, we've missed you." The crowd moved out of the way, and the boys took their familiar path home, one they had walked together thousands of times. The same familiar person ran out to greet them, hugging both brothers.
"Oh Hubert, you're early!" Cheria let go, clasped her hands together and looked back at the manor. "Come on in then."
"It's nice to see you again, Cheria. How've you been?" Hubert asked politely, heading into his old house and letting the actual residents follow him.
"Oh, you know, we've been fine and stuff-"
"Thanks you for asking, it's been great over here. How're things with you?"
"Oh, nothing much has happened lately."
The three of them wandered into the office, sitting at Asbel's table.
"Really? How are you and Pascal getting along?" Cheria asked sweetly, although there was a glint of mischief in her eyes. Hubert immediately looked down at the floor, and Asbel had to forcibly stop himself from laughing at his younger brother. He was just so easy to fluster, just so proper, he was hilarious. But he was Hubert, and the trio that grew up together wouldn't have him, have any of them another way. Almost thirty years, full of ups, downs, and more loops than a rollercoaster, yet still the three of them were thick as thieves.
They could have spent all day laughing amongst themselves. It was in the middle of an animated conversation about their old adventures that they were interrupted by a knock at the window. There stood Asbel's blank-faced child, staring at them. "Oh, Sophie." Hubert smiled over at her, and Sophie smiled back, then gestured for someone to open the window. Asbel obliged, stepping over and pulling it open.
"Is someone blocking the door? Come and join us." Cheria called from her seat as Asbel went back to his. Nimbly Sophie hopped into the room, although she didn't move from her spot just in front of the window.
"Hello Sophie, it's nice to see you."
"Hello Hubert..!" Sophie nodded with a soft smile. "I'm glad you came." Finally, she wandered over and sat down next to Asbel.
"Good morning." Smiled the king, sitting on the windowsill. Asbel froze, then burst into spluttering laughter.
"Richard, you made it!"
"Oh my-" Hubert mumbled, a shocked grin on his face. Cheria looked from Asbel to Richard, at a complete loss for words. It was… Hilarious. With a smug smile on his face, Richard stood up and walked over to the group.
"I take it I'm early, then?"
"Your- Richard-" Cheria spluttered, "We do have a door, you know."
"Well, me and Sophie thought this would be fun."
"It was!" Sophie chirped up, flashing a grin at Richard.
"It was definitely- something-" The lord of Lhant snickered, trying to calm his laughter, ineffectively. His brother wasn't doing much better.
"Well, um, uh… Richard, I don't think kings should be sliding through windows."
"I couldn't resist the chance. Anyway, you four did it first." A joyful glint filled his eyes, and that's when Asbel saw the poetic justice of it all. He laughed, and this time the others joined in.
"We've missed you, Richard."
"Same here. You should visit more."
Asbel's feet crunched against the remnants of frosty fallen leaves as he sped down the Northern path. With the promise of being back soon, he and Sophie were headed to the border. They had to collect their final guests, the rest of their group. He'd really missed the captain, and it was very easy to notice when Pascal wasn't around. He smiled; Sophie definitely missed them both. Malik was always helping her out, and Pascal absolutely adored Sophie. The looming wall came into view as the two of them crested a hill, and Asbel sighed. Lhant and Fendel had not fought for years and years, but bad memories came to him regardless. Clearing his head, he powered on. His two favourite Fendolians were waiting for him, after all.
"Sir!" A guard stood to attention, saluting the two Lhants. "What's your request?"
"We're here to meet our friends. Thanks, lieutenant." Asbel smiled at him, and he relaxed.
"Oh, we couldn't miss the arrival of those two if we tried." The guard smiled at his lord. "I'm sure they'll be here soon."
"Ah, we'll wait around then." Asbel nodded, then stood by Sophie, who was staring at the frostbitten Sopherias. "Those poor flowers, huh? It must be cold for them."
"It is cold this week. All of the plants have been like this." The young woman nodded, sighing. She cared about the flowers more than anyone else did. With a nod, Asbel tried to explain.
"I've heard it's because the wind is blowing weather from Fendel here. It's cold, but it might snow."
"Really?" Sophie tilted her head, and a gruff voice from behind them answered.
"Yup."
"Captain-!" Asbel spun around with a grin, seeing Malik standing there. Before either of them could move, there was a thud as Sophie dodged a hug and her 'aunt' went flying to the floor.
"Owowow!" Huffed the chest woman, standing back up. "Not even a hello?" Sophie stuck her tongue out in response, to which Malik laughed.
"As you can see, we made it."
"It's nice to see you again! Uh, you too, Pascal. Everyone else is already at home."
"Really?" Malik thought. "Then I guess we're later than I thought."
"Oh well, let's go?" Pascal clapped her hands together, already setting off with Sophie. Asbel laughed; now the party could really get started. The two men shared a merry look, before walking next to one another, following the other two.
"Shall we, Asbel?"
"Yes sir."
✿
Asbel was right when he thought this would be a party, it really could only be described as chaotic. When the entire group reunited there was yelling, hugging, and most importantly, smiles all round. Even though they were all busy, had their own lives, the things they'd done together would stick with them for life. And, as Asbel remembered, certain people would live very long ones indeed. All cares forgot, the seven of them crowded around a circular table, having finally settled down, kind of. Asbel was content to smile fondly at his friends, until his wife nudged him under the table. Oh, right. He had to say something. Standing up, he didn't even have to cough to get their attention. They all respected one another so much.
"My friends," He began, but laughed and tried again. "Guys! Thanks for all showing up today."
"As if we wouldn't." Hubert scoffed, shaking his head.
"Anyway, it's our anniversary - the anniversary of us saving things!" Asbel looked proud, and the group cheered, although he couldn't help but notice Richard sigh. "Ten years ago we saved the world and a misguided boy, but most importantly, we, well, saved each other. So, um, thank you. Thank you, everyone." He sat down, a little embarrassed, but the entire table went up in applause.
"Mhm! Thank you, all of you."
"Of course. Someone needs to help out their brother."
"I've had fun!"
Everyone called out their own responses, then raised their glasses.
"To us?"
"To us!"
Many delicious meals, drinks, and laughs later, someone else stood up to make a speech. The king stood with a warm smile down at his best friend, before beginning. "Like Asbel said, thank you. Thank each and every one of you here. Ten years ago, you… As well as saving everyone on the planet, all of you, from my childhood friends to people who barely knew me, you saved me. And for that, I'm grateful. Really." He bowed, quietly sitting down.
"Oh Richard, it's no problem! I'd never let you down."
"Mmm, like Asbel said, we're your friends. We'll always save each other."
"Don't worry Richard. Nothing would stop us from doing it again and again."
"Hu's right! We're always free for a good spot of world-saving!"
"You shouldn't worry about it. Everyone here's far too noble to let you down."
"We're friends, Richard." Sophie smiled, putting her hand on his shoulder.
"Thank you… You're all right. Now, onto the desert?" Richard smiled, and they all agreed, tucking into a cake almost as big as the table.
Wandering his home, Asbel came across a few quiet conversations that made him smile. Outside, Sophie was trying to explain the art of gardening to the clueless but curious Richard and the amused Malik. While making sure everything was alright, it was in their old room he saw his little brother and Pascal, so of course he watched what he could. It was a big sibling sort of thing, he figured.
"This is your old room? Wow, I didn't know you liked boats so much!" Pascal flitted around the place, curiously poking at the room that hadn't changed in seventeen long years.
"As a child I had a fascination with them. Me and Asbel used to watch them all the time. It was one of our favourite places to 'adventure'" Hubert muttered, smiling softly at the memories. It warmed Asbel's heart to think that after all he'd been through, Hubert fondly remembered those days. Good.
"Awwe." Pascal laughed, sitting on his bed. "How'd you keep it so neat?"
"Unlike everyone else, I tidy up after myself." Hubert shook his head, smiling. He had a point, no-one around here was naturally tidy.
"Oh, then you can help me clean, it's a pain."
"That's not how it works!"
Silently laughing, Asbel stepped away. He was glad everyone around here had found happiness.
"I know, they're all so happy." Cheria's voice came from behind him, and he jumped. "Yes, I was checking on our Hubert too."
"Woah-! I guess it's not just me then." He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "He's not the only one who's happy, you know. I think we've done just fine." Asbel spoke with a grin, and Cheria blushed.
"You're not wrong there. We're very, very happy."
The two of them laughed as they linked arms and went to join Sophie's cheerful discussion.
✿
It was as the sun started to set, casting an orange glow on the ocean below, that our protagonist stood against a tree, watching the waves lap against the shore. Something in him figured the others would feel the need to come here too, so be waited. Occasionally the voice in his head muttered things he replied or laughed too, and the scene was filled with calm.
"I figured you'd be here." Spoke the calm voice of his best friend, standing in the field of flowers. "It feels like a lifetime ago…" Richard soft footsteps approached, and he traced the faded names on the tree. "Eternal friendship, huh? You know, I think it really does work." He nodded, and the two of them sat down on the clifftop.
"Of course it does. I will treasure you both forever." Added the other voice he was expecting, the soft voice of Sophie. The two of them turned their heads, waving at her.
"And we'll protect you for as long as we can!" Asbel smiled, as did Sophie. Sitting on the other side of Asbel, she spoke.
"I know you will. Thank you."
"No thanks needed." Richard leaned over Asbel and softly smiled. Linking arms with the both of them, Asbel looked up at the bare branches.
"Right. No thanks are needed, because we'll always be this close. Always and forever."
"Richard? Sophie?" Asbel began, distracted by the sun slipping away.
"Yes?" Richard turned to him, Sophie tilted her head.
"Lambda's sorry. He told me to apologize on his behalf."
"Huh?" Sophie looked at him blankly, and Richard frowned.
"What's he apologizing for? Without him I would've died. Yes, we made some bad decisions, but I forgive him."
"Me too. Just because I was… I was made to destroy him, doesn't mean I can't deviate."
"Yeah. You hear that, Lambda? No-one blames you." Asbel smiled, his purple eye twinkling as he stared up at Fodra in the sky. Each member of the trio fell into a companionable silence.
Shining purple petals, their tips coated with silver frost, started to blow through the air. "Asbel, Richard! Look!" A blossomgale. The mythical event of beauty started to happen while the three of them sat there.
"It's beautiful… Is this..?"
"Yep. This is it."
"Wow… Asbel, you were right. It's prettier in winter." Sophie nodded, her smile soft as she stared at the petals of the flower she was named after.
"Woah… I've always wanted to see this. Now I get to watch it with you." Richard muttered, looking up. Asbel held onto his two friends, his smile as bright as the moon above.
"Mmm…"
And in the morning, the three friends would be found holding onto each other, blanketed in petals as pure and soft as snow.
~Fin~
#tales of#tales of graces#tales of graces pascal#tales of graces f#tales of graces lambda#tales of graces asbel#tales of graces hubert#tales of graces cheria#tales of graces Sophie#tales of graces Richard#tales of graces malik#asbel lhant#cheria barnes#hubert oswell#sophie lhant#richard windor#malik caesar#Gracesversary!#long post
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Episode 10 Reaction
LOL WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. This reaction is going to be significantly less polished because I have a lot of complaints, a lot of wine, and zero fucks.
Pre-Apocalypse
I’m SO glad Myrtle and Venable meet. I need about two more hours just of them interacting. They’re GREAT.
Oh wow, Myrtle’s packing some serious witchy power!
“My hair is a mystery, never to be fully understood.” I love it.
Okay, so the coconut heads are legit in another outpost. I’m so mad we didn’t get to see Venable or Myrtle kill them.
Venable 200% deserved the opportunity
I actually feel kind of bad that she’s back to working for this shitheads since the apocalypse was prevented.
Back to Misty’s swamp, yet still no Misty. I am confused and upset.
Aaaaand now we know how Mallory and Coco end up in Outpost Three
called it!!! Y’all thought Cordelia blowing that powder was to kill someone--I’ve been telling you it was just for the identity spell.
“Not to make it all about me.”
The “new personalities” thing was a nice way to excuse Coco’s behavior. It’s a little irritating, but I get the point. Her job is literally to crush Mallory’s soul.
it’s so funny that they just blatantly said she’s modeled after Madison
at least they’ll be together if the world ends--things getting more than a little gay.
Myrtle and Cordelia get a little callous talking about Coco’s family.
I know it’s necessary and that if things work none of it will happen, but still. Cordelia is all over Mallory trying to comfort her, but she basically tells Coco to suck it up.
Mr. Gallant and Brock are back and I loved Madison being an Uber driver.
Okay, Cordelia sitting on Misty’s couch, staring out the window, is the most beautiful scene. I’d like us all to imagine that she’s just watching Misty work in the garden.
Madison and Myrtle team up for one thing and one thing only: revenge.
Post-Apocalypse
So...they literally just buried themselves in the ground until Mallory’s powers activated.
and then somehow magically got to the other side of the country in like a week.
At least we know why Cordelia isn’t sick anymore in 2021
suppressing Mallory’s magic must have restored her own, and that good ol’ Louisiana mud healed her side.
“You’re special, Mallory” aaaaand we’ve come full-circle to the beginning of this season’s problems
“The seventh seal,” I’m sorry, did we miss the first six? Where was the season about that??
Aaaaand Michael is, in the end, literally just another male trying to prove that he’s better than the witches
FUCK YES MARIE!!! And Delphine makes an appearance! Cordelia really is ruthless, damn. Trading Dinah for Marie was a fucking power move.
And there goes Mrs. Mead? Singing Daisy? Just...why.
At least Madison keeps her wits and sees the opportunity to grab a gun.
Hey there’s brock! Knew he was still wandering around somewhere.
god, I would have paid to see him interact with non-identity spell Coco
she would have been disgusted with him
Madison’s head literally just exploded. Fucking stupid. Actually, everyone’s deaths are fucking stupid.
Marie has been off screen for .2 seconds and I miss her.
Excuse me, why is Mallory calling her Cordelia instead of “miss”?
“It appears as though we’re fucked, my dear” you don’t say
“I knew you’d survive the nuclear fallout” bitch then why were you whining about thinking you killed all the witches?
Aaand here we go with Cordelia. And Myrtle seriously doesn’t see what’s coming?? She’s literally been talking about this since 2018.
gotta admit though, that “my sisters are a legion, motherfucker,” was fantastic, and Cordelia’s death was as badass as her life.
I’m glad she told Myrtle she loved her though, since this ends up being the last time they see each other.
Pre-Apocalypse...Again
Mallory literally just runs him over with a fucking car.
and apparently had time to change into something more fashionable.
what?
like, that’s so unexpected for her character. She’s freaking Snow White.
I don’t dislike it, I just wish we’d seen this side of her beforehand so it seemed consistent.
Dare I say that Constance letting Michael’s spirit move on is actual character growth?
Point of frustration: this means Madison never freed Moira from the house
but it also means Violet and Tate never get back together and I’m happy about that
So...Mallory just joins the coven in 2015?? Because that’s not gonna create a fucking paradox or anything.
Mallory’s parents think she’s a devil worshipper--she’s legit Misty’s little sister or something
Aw, she’s so happy to see Cordelia and Cordelia has no fucking clue who she is XD
Btw, I LOVE Cordelia’s dress!
OH GOD WHY does Cordelia’s paperwork say Cordelia Foxx
I THOUGHT WE COVERED THIS ALREADY
And Queenie’s not gonna die!
Lmao but she’s letting Madison suffeeeeeer
NAN!!!
MISTYYYYYYYY!!!!
okay listen so Mallory has NEVER met Misty before, which means that Cordelia must have talked about her, enough that Mallory would know that bringing her back is the most important thing she could do to make Corelia happy
not AS good as the first reunion, but still adorable
“I’m sure you two have a lot to catch up on” MALLORY SHIPS IT
Misty is so cute meeting Mallory
legit thought Misty and Cordelia were gonna kiss when Misty reached for her...so sad
Mallory could literally be their daughter, wow
The only good thing about this episode: Misty has only been in hell for a year, and now she’s finally safe at home with Cordelia
they’re canon, okay?
2020: aaaaand were back to Romeo and Juliet
wait....what. Now Romeo and Juliet’s KID is the antichrist??
excuse me, the whole point of the antichirst is that he’s the result of the union between a ghost and a human woman.
is this supposed to tie-up their “genetic superiority” arc? Weak.
What.
Okay, so, it could have been worse? I guess? I mean, Misty and Cordelia both made it out alive and they’re in the same place for once. No one tragically died, nothing actually awful happened.
But...they didn’t really stop anything from happening either, in the long run. There’s still a clan of angry warlocks out there; there’s a new antichrist on the rise; and Mallory is still the next Supreme--maybe?
If Mallory’s still the next Supreme, that means Cordelia STILL has only a few years to live. Which fucking sucks. But I’m thinking that maybe she’s actually not the next Supreme. Theory one goes back to that whole “witches’ powers spike in times of danger” thing. What if the ascension of the next supreme was just sped up in response to the danger of Michael? Without that threat, maybe Cordelia’s reign will have the normal timespan. Theory two is that Mallory is technically displaced out of her own timeline now, so I think it could have taken her out of the lineup for Supreme.
Speaking of which, what’s gonna happen in three years when younger Mallory shows up at the academy??? Paradoxes. Upon paradoxes. Upon paradoxes.
“Neat little bow” was right; “for the fans” was not. There was still no Goode-Day kiss or confirmation, which at this point is ridiculous because it’s blatantly obvious to everyone that they’re in love. I mean, even Mallory, who never met Misty, knew enough about her that she knew Cordelia needed her back. She must have heard Cordelia tell stories, must have watched her head out on weekends to fix up the shack, must have heard from Zoe and Queenie how Cordelia asked the antichrist himself to retrieve her even though it would make her concede the supremacy. All of this for a woman named Misty Day.
And then that scene is literally Misty and Cordelia’s last appearance of the season. Holding each other and crying and smiling. It could have been better--we definitely deserved better--but I can live with how Goode-Day played out.
The rest of the episode? No, that just straight-up sucked lol.
#american horror story#ahs apocalypse#ahs spoilers#apocalypse spoilers#michael langdon#ahs mallory#cordelia goode#misty day#foxxay#goode-day#madison montgomery#ahs coco#myrtle snow#wilhemina venable#miriam mead#constance langdon#moira o'hara#ahs theories#ahs nan#marie laveau#ahs brock#ahs emily#ahs timothy#ahs queenie
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Nom De Guerre
Prompt: In exchange for some art at TFCon, I promised @xraybeeb some DinoTrap! They’re still at the awkward pretending-they-don’t-like-each-other stage because, it turns out, I just wanted to write banter.
Continuity: Beast Wars, some vague point post-transmetal and pre-Code of Hero.
Pairing: Rattrap/Dinobot, but only faintly
Wordcount: 2000
Summary: Dinobot wants to know what Rattrap’s name was back on Cybertron. Somehow that segues into Rattrap learning about Dinobot’s surprise Autobot idols.
Rattrap was almost back to base, at the end of his patrol, when he saw someone standing on top of the Axalon, silhouetted against the night sky. "Hey! What—?!" He skidded to a stop, transforming and looking up at the mysterious bot. "Who—? Oh. HEY, CHOPPERFACE!"
Dinobot's gaze lowered from the stars to Rattrap.
"Stop melodramatically stargazin'! It's so dark out, I thought you were a Predacon!" He paused. "... A different Predacon!"
Faintly, Dinobot yelled back, "Come and make me stop!"
"I'm n—"
"Unless you're a coward!"
Rattrap let out a long sigh that he hoped was loud enough for Dinobot to hear from the top of the ship. And then commed Optimus. "Hey, boss bot—I'm back from patrol, buuut I'm not comin' in just yet. Dinobot's on top of the ship and I've gotta go wittily banter him to death. If I start screamin', send backup."
It took a couple of minutes for Rattrap to find a route to scale the Axalon and reach Dinobot's position. Dinobot wasn't even waiting for him—he was sitting cross-legged on the far side of the ship, facing away. "Okay, reptile. Challenge accepted and defeated. Now get off the stupid—"
"What did you go by," Dinobot said, "back on Cybertron?"
Rattrap stopped, staring at Dinobot's back. "... Did you call me all the way up here just t'ask me my real name?!"
"No. I started wondering while waiting for you to laboriously scale the ship."
"Ooh, you condescendin'..." Rattrap muttered invectives as he stomped up behind Dinobot. "I oughta kick you off the side."
"I would be delighted to see you try."
Of course, he didn't. Instead, he stopped beside Dinobot, surveying the view. Eh. It wasn't bad, he supposed.
"Rattletrap."
Dinobot looked at him, clearly waiting for him to elaborate; but Rattrap didn't know what elaboration he wanted, so he said what anyone would say after introducing their name: "Nice t'meet you."
Dinobot snorted, shoulders jerking.
Rattrap sat down beside Dinobot, legs stretched out in front of him. "I know, it's just one syllable off from what I got now." Rattrap had no idea what Dinobot's basis of comparison was—he didn't know what any of the Darksyde’s crew had gone by, aside from the fact that their illustrious and big-headed leader had been alias "Megatron" for decades—but out of the original Axalon crew, Rattrap had stayed closer to his original name than any of the other Maximals. "But, eh—I'm attached to my name, y'know? Rattletrap suits me. It's..." He trailed off. He'd never had to describe his name before; it was like trying to describe his own transformation sequence.
"Unreliable? Rickety? In poor health?"
"Unassumin'," Rattrap snapped. "You can get a whole lot done while people are busy underestimatin' you because you've got a name that makes you sound like a jalopy."
"Your very name is an act of subterfuge." Dinobot sniffed disdainfully and looked away from Rattrap at last, surveying the quiet night. "Dishonorable. But, I suppose, effective. For someone like you."
"Tch, you flatterer." Rattrap leaned back, settling himself on his elbows. Oh yeah, this was gonna be a long banter. He could feel it. "How 'bout you? Who were you on Cybertron?"
"Dinobot."
Rattrap gave him a surprised look. "No kiddin'? Before you were a 'raptor?"
"Yes. My organic beast mode was fortuitous. In fact I named myself Dinobot long ago."
Named himself. Huh. "I figure you're named after...?"
"The Dinobots who fought at the end of the Great War, yes. I consider them my role models."
"Really!" Rattrap scooted over so he could roll onto one side, giving Dinobot his full attention. "You don't say! Oh, I want to hear all about how the Dinobots are role models."
"You mock me."
"Nooo. Me? Never," Rattrap said mockingly.
Dinobot snarled at him. "The Dinobots are consummate warriors! They are aggressive, direct, indefatigable—"
"Probably don't know what 'indefatigable' means."
Dinobot swiped threateningly at Rattrap. "Honest. Fearless. Loyal to their own, and they make no pretenses of loyalty to those they don't consider their own. And they carried those ideals with them everywhere—no matter in whose company they found themselves, and no matter how little others understood their ideals."
And something about the way Dinobot said that made Rattrap uncomfortably aware of how much he was one of those people who didn't get Dinobot's ideals. Not, he reminded himself, that he wanted to get them—they were, after all, Predacon ideals—but, still... Still. Still.
Had to be lonely, Rattrap supposed.
"They embody a nobility of character which I can only aspire to match," Dinobot concluded.
Rattrap nodded slowly, taking in that analysis. "... They're also dumber than a bag of rocks."
He expected another swipe for that. Instead, Dinobot said, wryly, "You'll notice that, in listing their virtues, I did not include intelligence."
Rattrap laughed. "Okay! Okay, fair," he said. "You uh—you do know that your heroes were also Autobots, right?"
Dinobot gave Rattrap an exasperated look. And then sat up straighter. "What are you—? Stop posing like that! You look ridiculous!"
"Wha—?" At some point, as Rattrap listened to Dinobot wax poetic about Dinobots, he had ended up laying on his side with one hand propping up his cheek and the other arm draped across his waist. He did look ridiculous. Flustered, he sat straight up again. "I— W— Don't change the topic! What kinda role models are a pack of Autobots for a big bad Pred, huh?"
"You insult them by calling them Autobots." Dinobot was back to staring at the horizon, refusing to look at Rattrap. "Perhaps they wore the Autobot badge—but they were never given Autobot coding. In behavior—in spirit—although they fought for the Autobots, in their sparks they were Decepticon."
"They tell you that themselves, or are you just projectin'?"
"Have you nothing else to contribute but critical snark?!"
"Well I can't contribute saucy poses anymore, can I?" But all right, maybe he should tone it down. This was... actually an intriguing side to Dinobot. The Predacon that venerates Autobots.
Dinobot gave him a dark look. "They were detested by their teammates. Loathed. That's not projecting."
Rattrap swallowed a half dozen snappy replies. "Yeah? I heard they were hard to get on with, but..."
"It's the truth. The Autobots who fought alongside them distrusted them. They saw them as burdens—mere berserkers to be unleashed on the enemy, and then tolerated and contained until the next battle. They were utilized for their innate combat capabilities without being respected for them. In many ways... the Autobots' treatment of the Dinobots was a model for the Maximals' later treatment of Predacons."
Once again, Rattrap felt far more conscious than he wanted to be of how little he knew about what went on in Dinobot's head—in Dinobot's life—or any other Predacon's, for that matter. True, he still didn't want to know the first thing about what regularly passed through, say, Megatron's mind, or Waspinator's, or—eesh—Tarantulas's—but... times like this, when Rattrap was being honest with himself, he kinda felt like he was missing out on something, not being able to guess what Dinobot was thinking.
... He didn't want to linger on that for too long. "So. Who's your fave?"
"Grimlock!" Dinobot said it instantly, as though he'd been just waiting to be asked. "The greatest fighter! Before I permanently adopted the nom de guerre 'Dinobot,' for years I went by 'Grim' in his honor."
"It suits ya." Maybe it didn't suit him right then, though—he was gushing like a newbuild talking about their favorite pop star.
"He should h—thank you." Dinobot actually sounded like he meant it. (He probably hadn’t heard that before, had he? What kind of nerve did he have to have to be a Predacon among Predacons going by an Autobot’s name? Rattrap was beginning to suspect that Dinobot had been lonely long before he’d surrounded himself by Maximals.) "He should have assumed the mantle of Autobot leadership. There was an opportunity, when Optimus Prime fell in combat to Megatron. The Autobots should have recognized that, with the Decepticons in full control of Cybertron and the Autobots only holding back a few off-world garrisons, they were in desperate need of a new style of leadership. The Matrix of Leadership should have been offered to Grimlock—he would have ruled the Autobots as a warrior-king!"
"And... this woulda been a good thing or a bad thing for your Decepticon ancestors?"
"Ah—well..." Dinobot shrugged, an uncharacteristically casual gesture, and quickly moved on. "Whoever won, he would at least have shown the Decepticons more respect than the likes of Rodimus Prime. Which is the same reason he wasn't selected. The Autobots could no more appreciate Grimlock's virtues than they could a Decepticon—for they, unlike he, were not born warriors. For all their combat training, they were mere..." he let out a lizardy snarl of derision, "cccivil ssservants."
"Aaand..." Oh, Rattrap was having too much fun with this. "Assumin' he did get the Matrix, what was his name gonna be?"
Without hesitation, Dinobot replied, "Tyrannimus Prime." He raised his voice over Rattrap's peals of laughter. "Stop that! I didn't come up with it!"
"Wh-who did?!" Rattrap was flat on his back laughing. "Oh—oh, man—don't tell me you Preds have worked out all the details of a whole alternate history where Grimlock lead the Autobots!"
Dinobot was silent for an embarrassingly long time. And then mumbled, "It's not just Predacons—"
Rattrap cracked up again.
The stars in his peripheral vision were blocked; Dinobot was walking away. Rattrap immediately stopped laughing. "H-hey!" He rolled over, got to his feet, and trotted after Dinobot. "Hey, come back, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed. It's—it's just surprising to me—and I mean, maybe I don't get it, but—hey, everyone's got hobbies."
Dinobot didn't stop.
Rattrap sighed. Oh, boy, he'd messed that up. How was he gonna fix this? "... I learned to fight from Arcee."
Dinobot stopped walking.
"Dunno how much you know 'bout Maximals, but we still get mandatory military training. In case..." Even though Dinobot wasn't looking, Rattrap gestured vaguely in the direction of the Darksyde. "In case. I was under... pfft, I don't remember his name now. One of the Protectobots. But I wanted to learn from Arcee. I fought tooth 'n' claw to get that transfer."
"Arcee," Dinobot said slowly, "is one of the finest warriors the Autobots ever produced."
"And unassumin'," Rattrap said. "The kinda person you underestimate until it's too late."
Finally, Dinobot turned back to Rattrap. "I have heard tales of her kindness, gentleness, and civility—right up until she eliminates her enemy. Are they true?"
"All true," Rattrap nodded. "She was the sweetest 'bot you'd ever meet—'til she wasn't."
"Hmmm." Dinobot surveyed Rattrap critically. "She taught you so little."
"'Ey!" He elbowed Dinobot. Good, they were back to normal. "Siddown and look at the stars again, reptile breath, I'm already sick of lookin' up at you."
Dinobot bent over and snorted in Rattrap's face—Rattrap made exaggerated gagging sounds—but he did march back to his original spot and sit again. "I don't relish the idea of you looking down at me, either. Sit."
Rattrap flopped back down. "As you command, Tyrannimus."
Dinobot shoved him over as Rattrap laughed. But it was, for Dinobot, a gentle shove. Rattrap should call him Tyrannimus more often. Maybe not around the others; that'd take a little too much explaining. "Either be quiet or tell me more about Arcee."
"Fine, fine! Whaddaya wanna know?"
"Is it true that she paints herself with energon?"
"You know—I was always a little too scared to ask."
"Well, what did she smell like?"
"Excuse me?"
"You can tell if paint is energon-based from how it smells when it's warm, and Cybertronian bodies are almost always warm enough to activate the—"
"Why do you know this?"
It was another half hour before they were interrupted by Silverbolt, who had, apparently, been sent outside to ensure that Dinobot and Rattrap hadn't been kidnapped by Predacons and/or quietly murdered each other. By the time they were back inside, Dinobot was already radiating a surly "don't touch me, speak to me, or acknowledge that I possess a corporeal form on this mortal plane" aura; nobody spoke until he'd disappeared down the hall to his quarters.
Once he was well out of audial shot, Optimus asked Rattrap what in the world had kept them outside so long.
Rattrap shrugged. What had they talked about, really? Dinobots and alternate history and basic training? "He wanted to know my real name."
If you want to leave a tip or like the fic on AO3, the links are in my description! Comments/reblogs are welcome!
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Totally Disco, Issue #4
Episode 4: The Butcher's Knife Cares Not For The Lamb's Cry
"Make sure you stay out of the tardigrade fields. They're cute but they'll eat you. " - Janet Van Dyne, Ant Man and the Wasp
One of the things I love about Star Trek is how small they make space feel. It's ridiculous, awful, awful science. Space is big. As Douglas Adams so elegantly wrote, "vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big". On any given day in Starfleet they encounter cosmic storms, nebulae, quantum filaments, spatial rifts, tachyon fields, wormholes, dark matter, rogue comets, and today specifically, the gravity well of an O-type star. And it never fails to make me laugh. Hell, a flagship might run into all of these at once. You know where a ship using a faster than light drive that fell out of a "jump" would most realistically end up? Nowhere. As in "the middle of". Because space is horrifically big! Seriously, as a concept, it is nightmare fuel. Of course, that ship would immediately be attacked by Cylons. But that's a given. They look like us now.
Spoilers...
Oooh! Guest staring Michelle Yeoh! Maybe...oh, it's a recording.
Oh god. They ate her. I am not generally sentimental about death. A body is a body. When a person dies the person part is gone, but I'm still so unhappy they killed her at all it just...ugh thank you ever so much for that image, writers.
And then you go and say something like rage glands. Classic Trek ridiculous. Ripper? Eh, I’m sticking with Alice. The tardigrade is definitely a girl. Aaand, oh look, I don't have to learn Security Chef's name. Glad we're back to knocking off crew members. It was getting crowded in here.
Pippin, lighter of torches, must give up everything! What does that mean? What is everything to a Klingon? TNG taught me that as a Klingon, if you don't have honor you don't have anything. So definitely going to have to give up that. House Mókai (yup, that name I remember, diacritic and all) are deceivers (sounds like spies to me) according to L'Rell. Lying is pretty dishonorable, but I imagine she would call it practical. She prefers to work from behind the scenes. I bet she likes keeping her head attached to her neck and getting shit done. My kind of girl.
Sorry, I zoned out there for a moment. Where was I? Right, he's going to have to give up everything... oh. Oh! Why did T'Kuvma start this in the first place? To "Remain Klingon". That’s what they all keep yelling. If that's "everything" to him...Pippin doesn't get to remain Klingon. The spies are going to make him something else and change his face like in Trouble with - Holy shit! Lorca has a tribble. It's on his desk. It's been making cute noises, that now sound strangely like Chekov's gun, for the last two episodes! That is awesome!
Wait. Is this why they redesigned the Klingons? And made me read subtitles? (I know. I don't speak Klingon. What kind of Trekkie am I?!) So I wouldn't recognize the spies when they show up on Discovery's crew manifest? I mean Worf and B'Elanna look different, but are recognizable out of full Klingon TNG/VOG makeup. Romulan Troi and Yar still looked like themselves. Ugh. No! It is, isn't it. That is just...insulting. I'm not even sure I can explain why... If your plot twist is that dependant on shock valve to be enjoyable, it's just...I am hesitant to say "bad", but I'm not watching Momento here. I don't know. I was very excited a paragraph ago and now I am disappointed by the presumed execution of a plot point I am guessing at. Okay, Discovery. Please, prove me wrong. Also, if we're talking about makeup, is L’Rell’s name just a play on L'Oreal?
There are some interesting comparisons set up for us between Michael and Pippin. They both once held positions of respect and leadership in their respective cultures and are now outcasts. Their mentors were both people of conviction and principle and are now dead (in the same conflict no less). They have both been offered a way to regain something they’ve lost. I look forward to seeing how they contrast as the story moves forward.
Parting shots:
→ 1.There are an awful lot of people telling me that Captain Creepy is a bad man and a questionable leader, at best. Chef tells Michael that Lorca’s only interested in what she can do for him, and by extension everyone around him. Saru says that Michael will fit right in with Lorca when she manipulates him to find out Alice isn't threatening. One more time: THESE ARE NOT GOOD QUALITIES. Give me Georgiou or give me...right you already gave me death. Fuck you, writers.
→ 2. Role call! Burnham, Saru, Tilly, Stamets, Alice, Lorca, Chef, Georgiou, T'Curse-you-for-killing-her, L'Rell - Bridger of Houses, Kol - Stealer of Ships, Admiral Cornwell (Another woman in charge!), Pippin (only figuratively dead, but I wanna cross off more names). There's a doctor too. Are we all here yet?
→ 3. I'm just going to hook this thing I don't know what it does or how it works to my engines. That seems like a good idea, right? Then I'm going to beam a creature in with it, turn it on, and see what happens. Even after our sister ship had a horrible accident, killing everyone aboard, while doing something similar - we are undoubtably certain this is the best course of action. God I love Star Trek.
→ 4. Even hologram Georgiou is a better captain than Lorca.
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Rwby’s redemption
I’ve started watching rwby ever since the summer that volume 2 was released. My friends made me watch the four trailers and I was immediately captivated by the breath of fresh air the show promise from its beginning. Four badass girls with unique weapons and abilities? I was already hooked from that point. I binge watch volume after that day, and I immediately got harry potter vibe with the school aspect of the show. I also understood from the get go the the 8 characters we were introduced to in the beginning would be the main cast, that being team RWBY and team JNPR.
This is where my first critique comes in, and it won’t be directed at rooster teeth or miles-kerry or even monty, but rather at the fandom. Volume 1 wasn't shy at showing us who the important characters were, how? The were coloured in and we got to know their names in the first few episodes. The rest was either shadowed in, appeared a couple of times, or simply never be seen again. We knew the main cast was the two teams, and other subsequent characters were more side characters, exemple: Cardin and team CRDL, Velvet, Ozpin, Glynda, Roman, and the other professors and Sun. And one of the major complaints that volume 1 gets is that it was focused on Jaune to much. Statistically speaking, his arc lasted 25% of volume 1, lasting from episode 11 to 14. Other arcs from this volume included Blake’s, Weiss’s conflict with Ruby and probably other minor ones I won’t speak about. Blake’s arc lasted from episode 15 to 16, buut continued into the subsequent volume. Making for 12.5% of the first volume, and about, well the entire volume. Volume 2 was dedicated into busting the white fang and Roman, which directly tied into Blake’s arc from Volume 1, making it the longest arc up to this date since it is still continuing into volume 5. The third arc was the conflict between Ruby and Weiss, although somewhat minor, this arc still lasted for a couple of episodes spread apart from one another. The point being, Jaune’s arc is minor compared to other arcs happening in the show, since his only lasted 4 episodes in volume 1 alone. Sure he had speaking times in other volumes, but none revolved around him, and yet the fandom is still bitching and moaning that jaune is taking too much space. As mentioned before, Jaune IS one of the main 8, not liking him as a character is totally fine, but saying he is taking too much space is somewhat overreacting since he is one of the main characters.
Let’s go on, from V1 came V2, and to this date, it is probably one of my least favourite volumes. I feel like they focused a bit too much on the characters motivation during the mountain glenn arc. What was the point of Oobleck asking everyone why they wanted to be huntresses? It was a bit awkward and I feel like they could've gotten the same result, if not more, if they made the team sit down around a campfire and make them ask each other their motivation. They would’ve shared some exposition through, shown team rwby bonding, something the fandom has been asking for a while now (Something I will touch later on) aaand they would’ve been able to touch a lot more on Blake’s ongoing arc that way. Btw, this is how critiquing something is done, by talking about what felt wrong and give an example on how they could of improved themselves. I’ve seen way to many people complain and complain and never even explain how they could've improve on what they complained on, and then call what they did ‘critiquing’, but im digressing. Overall, they did what they wanted, expose us to more backstory and motivation, show us a bit more of who the characters are by telling us where they come from. This volume honestly showed me why Ruby is more childish in nature, and it also help set up what they wanted for her next volume. It showed me why Weiss is so cold and distant sometimes, it showed us why Blake acts the way she does..you get the point. It also helped setting up the next volume, which was a real plus.
Next comes V3, and I feel like, like the show, this was where the fandom started to really fall and divide. A reason why people started to become more toxic might have been because of Monty’s death. People started to think that because he died, Miles and Kerry started to ruin the show from his original idea. Especially after a controversial letter came out, you can read it here if you’d like. From that point, it was a shitstorm of fighting, between people who believed shane and people who didn’t. I have read the letter, and personally, I feel like they were some things right and some wrong. Shane seemed to have this idea that Monty was the only one planning the show, but it was with Miles and Kerry, Monty provided the ideas, MK wrote them out. Gray even addressed what the future of RWBY would be, and he mentioned this.
“For those wondering, Monty was heavily involved in shaping the future of the world of Remnant. His story ideas will live on, and you will also be able to see some of the animation he'd begun working on for Volume 3. For some time, the team has known the direction in which the next volumes will be headed, and Rooster Teeth is committed to bringing these tales to you.”
Like I said, you decide if you want to believe shane or not, but I think its clear that Monty planned his show with MK years ahead. And some of the ‘Critiques’ the show got addressed the wrong issues. That volume also sparked the lgbtq representaion controversy, ship wars begun, like I said, a shitshow began. It was also the volume that rwby turned dark and characters died off. And for some reason people got angry at MK for killing them off, because they thought it wasn't Monty’s idea. Except it was, and here is some other complaint. Roman was a major villain, you can't kill him! Actually he was said to be unimportant to the main story plot, and unfortunately I can't find the panel, but I remember that someone in the crwby mentioned that roman was kept alive longer than intended because he was like, but was eventually going to get killed off. Next was Penny’s death, not much complain on that side other then people saying they were sad she died, so nothing to say on that part. But the major character death that got lots of complaint was Pyrrha’s. People had two complaint about, it went too far, and that she was only meant to further Jaune’s character.
To address the first point, I will actually let Gray explain.
“Have we said thanks lately? Thanks again for sharing the story with our youngest audience members out there, it means a lot to us and we take the responsibility to heart. In return, we wanted to take a sec to reiterate some things. We've said from the very beginning that the story of RWBY is actually a pretty long journey, with all sorts of complex changes and themes over time. Because we can only put out so many episodes per year, and the story has been focused the way it has the first couple years, some viewers might assume that this is all there is to the show. Nnnnope. Much like other multi-year narratives such as the Harry Potters, Avatars (the airbending kind. well, the animated, not the live... look, the good one) and Star Wars...Warses... Warii? Forget it -- like other continuity-heavy sagas out there, RWBY will grow up over time. Our characters will be put to the test as the stakes get greater and the full scope of the story is revealed. The tone and imagery of the show will occasionally go darker and more mature. ...You did happen to notice the opening sequence that has been in front of the show all year, right?”
This comes from a blog post surrounding how dark rwby has turned. And I want to emphasize one particular point, because this will counter EVERY complaint on how the show is progressing in terms of change. RWBY was never meant to stay light hearted and happy, it was meant to grow and change, just like many other series out there, and the fact that people complain about it, is in my opinion, kinda ridiculous. When V3 came out, I understood this because it was new, but now? Really? You want change and character development, but complain once the plot thickens and the nature of the show changes? What kind of hypocritical shit is that? I also believe that Monty said that he got inspired by Games of Thrones in some aspect, and that was early on in the show, so death was going to be a thing, I guess the fandom just wants to ignore that though.
The second point is actually a bit more founded. But because of two sides. MK poorly handled team bonding, we barely got any bonding from any teams so we didnt know what they meant to each other other then a few things here and there. And the second side is the fandom’s collective hatred towards Jaune. The fandom complains that Pyrrha’s death was solely to further Jaune’s character, so im guessing they totally ignored her arc in v3 that actually explained why she decided to fight Cinder or why she died, or just simply decided to ignore, knowing the fandom, I wouldn’t be surprised with either reason. The fandom sometimes forgets to piece things together, to read between the lines. It was clear that Pyrrha had an internal conflict about becoming the maiden, and Jaune, being her combat partner, decided he wanted to be there for her, which only fueled the fandom’s belief that this arc was somehow around Jaune. I feel like fandom is honestly just pulling reasons out of their ass to hate on Jaune at this point, yes he did wrong things, but did anyone ever sat down to think that this was actually kinda the most natural portrayal of a teenage boy? Im digressing here, but Pyrrha’s was far more then Jaune, it was a sign, the show basically told us “Hey, things are getting serious, how serious? Welp a main character died trying to accomplish her goal” And her death couldnt of been more brilliant. It was extremely well executed, the symbolism behind it is incredible because it shows that the show isnt a fairy tail, not everything ends happily ever after, and most of all, it furthered Ruby’s character.
A lot of people dont realize that one of the premise of the show was loss of childhood and innocence. Ruby’s character is the very essence of that. And they broke her to pieces in V3, they killed her best friend, and then a close friend. She unlocked her powers and loss her innocence she had for the world. She grew so much as a character it that volume and its sad to see people not looking further then their noses to see how much has been happening in the show to focus on jaune and other minor things like ships.
To go back on Jaune’s portrayal, he is literally a fuckboi in v1/v2 and a bit of v3. Like, thats what his character is, you can hate it, hell I did, but screaming and shouting that his character needs to change because of that is fucking ridiculous, not everyone is meant to be liked, sometimes best portrayals are the ones that actually make you feel something strong about them, and the typical mary sue.
Lets move on, V4 in my opinion was the most poorly handled volume, for many things.They took to long to show how certain character grief and they didnt handle character development extremely well. Nora and Ren’s arc was...short, too short. I felt like they could of really digged into their childhood and their relationship since they grew up together, but they missed out on it. They tanked to show Ruby’s grief, or as the fandom would say, complete lack of. And the plot exposition from Qrow was too fast and really poorly handled in terms of delivery. I feel like they could’ve taken more time to explain some things like magic and the maidens, because the way it was delivered was more like it was speaking to the audience. The filled in gaps on what the audience didn’t know rather then explaining to the character what the hell was going on in their lives.
And I have a major problem with how the fandom ‘critiqued’ this volume. Again, the major complaints were not story, or plot related, they decided to complain on ships and portrayal, which btw is a valid thing if there is an actual problem. For exemple, they non-stopped complained on how Ruby seemingly didnt show any grief, but let me explain to you. People are different, whereas one person might cry their hearts out to someones death, another will feel sad for a bit and move on. We saw Ruby react to Pyrrha’s death, she unlocked her powers because of it. And there is many reason why she might have been shown grieving. Think about how much shit she went through, she saw her school get destroyed, three people she knew died in front of her in one night, she unlocked some weird magical power which she knows nothing about, her sister seems to hate life now, and her friends are mostly gone. Do you seriously think her mind has the time and effort to grief about ONE person dying? No, nobody would in fact, she probably is still in shock of everything that happened. Another reason, which was actually proven in V5, is that she doesn’t grief, she moves on. And they also foreshadowed it a bit, but I will talk about it in the V5 review of this.
The next thing people complained about was black sun, and how ooc blake felt during those moments. Again, I want to remind you that character development is a thing, and traumatic events may several affect someone’s view in life. The reason why Blake seemed ooc is because of her fears becoming a reality. Her friends got hurt because of Adam, she became paranoid, to the point of almost drawing out her sword to the captain when she was confronted. Sun on the other hand didnt experience all of that, and he thought he was doing the right thing by following her because he wanted to help her. And I saw sooooo many people saw he is a predator because she flinches when he touches her, but also completely forgets or ignore she acted the same way when her own mother hugged her. She is scared shitless of everything, this was probably one of the better handled character development in the volume, and the fandom seemingly ignored all of it to let their hatred go through.
The most blatant problem with V4 however was the animation, and I will let the youtuber Cake in his series “Animation analysis”. He really nails the head of what is wrong with the animation, and I highly recommend you watch this small serie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxP3lBW7wm4&list=PL-wKaeXzYOmbnc0cRXxGD0TEY5wgCUipw
I wont speak about Yang, because honestly, this was the one time the fandom is right, her ptsd arc was poorly handled and not well executed at all.
Then came V5, or as I like to call it, Rooster teeth’s redemption arc. This volume, imo, was so heavily touched upon to appease the angry mobs of the rwde tags its honestly kind of funny. Ship wars? Heres more character development surrounding all the characters involved in those ship and their view about each other. Poor character development? Heres ruby actual griefing and explaining how she moved and sooo much more character for the main cast. LGBT representation? Here's the first confirmed lgbt character! They did so many things right and so many things to fix past problems, and yet, the rwde tag is still greedy…
Volume 5 has done a lot of things right, and a lot of those things were things the fandom was asking since the beginning of the show. I believe it was partially RT testing out that if listening to us would actually change anything, and Im afraid the rwde side of this fandom is proving to them that nothing that they will do will change anything, and thats saying something about the rwde tag and the fandom in general.
Lets hit a few things that happened that rt did right. First being, Ruby’s grief. In V4, most of the fandom outcried for Ruby to show how she grieves the death of Pyrrha and Penny, and we got it. And just like I had thought, she moves on. The writers pulled our heart strings by using Monty’s signature quote “Keep moving forward”. This probably wasn't a last minute decision, since we did get a hint of it when Qrow mentioned the same thing to Yang in V3. And we all know how close Ruby is to Qrow, and he probably taught her to move on rather the grief when death hits someone close to you. The fandom, of course, was blind to all of it, and it dishearten me to see that. Because the fandom keeps asking for better writing, and when the are shown that MK can foreshadow things and give hints of two people’s relationship and that the fandom ignores it, it shows that they dont really care, and are probably finding reasons to hate rather then actually seeing their wishes come true.
Yang’s ptsd. V4 poorly handled this, they showed some sign of her illness but it was rushed and it felt unnatural. But rt did try to change this in V5. The random jerks of her hand and arm is a genius idea, it shows that she still suffers from her trauma even though she is trying to be strong for her own sake. This might be hinting at an actual ptsd episode later on when she fights. This is one thing rt did right and are showing they are listening.
First Lgbt character. Spoiler warning, if you havent watched V5EP8 then skip to the next point to not spoil yourself. So in the latest episode, Ilia was revealed to be first lgbt character, she is a lesbian/Bisexual character who is in love with Blake. And not surprisingly, the fandom find reasons to hate this decision rather than rejoice that rt is actually listening to them. This next part is a message straight for anyone who is criticizing ilia as the “villain lesbian” and say its problematic. Do you understand how hypocrite you are? You headcanon characters like Cinder, Salem, and Neo as lgbt, people who are actually show to be pure evil but hate and try to villainize the only villain who’s reason to be villain is due to her past? We have been shown why she chose this path, we have been shown why she sides with Adam at this moment. It hurts her to do so, we could see it when she ordered to kill Blake’s family, we have seen how conflicted she was to have captured Blake for adam, the only character who’s villainy is actual ambiguous and actually is a complex character because of it and you downgrade her to a “Bitter/Jealous murderous lesbian”? FUCK OUTTA HERE, that is completely hypocritical of everything you ever said, she is everything you ever wanted in a character and you still manage to be angry at rt for it?! Do you even hear yourselves sometimes? You wanna complain about something that is lgbt related? How about the lack of it, we have one, they have shown us they are listening so keep on insisting on that representation. You want to complain how the lack of complex character? Criticize MK for the lack of backstory for a lot of the main character, and a lack of personality shown. You want to complain about villains? HOW ABOUT THE ACTUAL BITTER AND MURDEROUS ONE ADAM FUCKING TAURUS. Stop being so blind jfc, there is so many other obvious things wrong about the points you are complaining about and yet you chose to bash Ilia, fucking incredible.
Rwby has a lot of issue, im not denying that, but its time for the fandom to stop complaining about ships and minor problems that have been fixed. Start critiquing instead of complaining and demanding. RT wont listen to you if you only demand things from them, start showing them explicitly what is wrong with the show and offer them solutions in a calm manner. Showing no evidence and not showing solutions is not critiquing on your part, its pure and simple entitlement. My final point is this. We dont own the show, some of us pay for a subscription, but that doesn't make them any more entitled to demand things from rt about their show. You can absolutely critique them for errors, but do it right. Show them what went wrong, explain why its wrong, and show and explain a possible solution. Complaining and whining isnt critiquing, its entitlement of something we dont own. Im probably missing some things I have thought of pointing out in this, and this is highly opinionated in some parts. But I hope my points do make some sense, and I hope anyone who reads this actual give a thought about the points I made. If you disagree with me, by all means, point out what was wrong with what I said and offer your counter-argument, like I said, some of it is facts and some of it is opinions, so let’s debate.
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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander
Thoughts on Ep. 312
Ok so I *really* like half of this episode, and then I really don’t give a single fuck about the other half. But! It manages to jump around enough that the parts I don’t give a fuck about never reach the point where I’m annoyed that I’m still watching them. Which like, is the best case scenario for an episode dealing with a storyline I’m not partial to?
The squad is finally actively trying to find Young Ian, you know, the actual main goal of the back half of the season! But it also feels a bit like they threw all of the plot confetti they needed to into it in order to set up the finale after spending so long on side-quests. There are some great scenes but there is also some batshit insanity. This was the first time in a while that I didn’t check to see how much time was left in the episode. So that’s a bonus.
I personally give zero fucks about the prophecy stuff, but since that’s a massive part of the end of the book, and the show has always stuck maybe a little too closely to the source material, it’s not like I was surprised that a lot of the episode was dedicated to that. And since this episode yet again feels like something completely different from the previous ones, most of my feelings and reactions to it are yet again based on it as a standalone thing and not as part of the season as a whole. (I’m finding more and more as the season goes on that while I have really enjoyed some individual episodes or scenes, if I look at the season as a whole, I’m left feeling sad about missed potential and what might have been if they had made different choices along the way.) So yeah, personally I was like 50/50 really enjoying the episode vs. rolling my eyes at its complete ridiculousness. Which, compared to how I’ve felt about other eps, is pretty solid.
I love that Young Ian keeps fighting on the Bruja and doesn’t give in to the fear he must be feeling. Like if he’s going down, he’s going down swinging and I really do like that wee goober.
Of course Geillis takes literal blood baths. Fucking of course she does.
This whole part is absurd. But like I guess that’s the point? Geillis is fucking nuts. (It does make me roll my eyes a bit that they keep being like “we don’t do gratuitous nudity” while literally having a lady walk around naked and then doing long shots of her showering. Not complaining, just observing.)
DON’T EAT THE CAKE, YOUNG IAN! THIS LADY LITERALLY JUST TOOK A BATH IN ACTUAL BLOOD! SHE’S CLEARLY FUCKING INSANE! DON’T EAT THE THINGS!
NOOO, NOT THE TEA! LOOK AT YOUR REACTION TO THE TEA! THERE IS CLEARLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE TEA! STOP DRINKING THE TEA!
Ok, let’s just remember Young Ian’s reaction to being drugged without his knowledge and sharing things he doesn’t want to share. He’s clearly not ok with it. Just keep that in mind for a second...
Geillis is so fucking creepy. Like Lotte Verbeek is so fucking good at pretending to be the creepiest motherfucker ever.
Aaand then the show decided that it was a good idea to have yet another child get raped. This is, what, the third time? Mary, Fergus and now Young Ian? There is no plot-relevant reason to keep this in the show. But they did. Because of course they did. If a girl gets roofied and sleeps with a guy, we call it rape. Because you can’t consent when you’ve been drugged. They’re *literally* called date rape drugs. So here we have a kid getting basically roofied and then it’s implied Geillis sleeps with him. It doesn’t matter if he seems into it. Saying what happens to Young Ian isn’t rape, in my opinion, is the same as saying a girl who gets roofied and taken advantage of wasn’t raped. This, to me, is a rape and I’m *rull* pissed and disappointed, but not at all surprised, that the show decided to include it. (Yes, I know it’s in the book. It was one of the things that I was hoping they’d cut. But given this show’s track record, that was clearly a naive hope to have.)
< / rant >
Ok Claire has that whole trunk of clothes on the ship. Why is she still wearing the same outfit? Seriously, I get that the production is like weirdly attached to that blue dress, but at some point the woman should be allowed to change her clothes. Especially since last week she was like bleeding all over her sleeve and she’s basically been wearing the same outfit for months. Like no fresh dress to go ashore in? Really? I mean, who cares. It’s not anything to like actually get worked up about, it’s just silly to me.
Although, good riddance to the bumroll. I like the outfit much better without it, tbh.
Claire immediately closing the parasol when it’s pointed out that it makes her seem respectable makes me smile. Especially after drunkenly asserting that she *was indeed* respectable last week.
The episode does a decent job of setting up Geillis, though. With the Rose Hall “RH” brand on the enslaved woman Claire sees and the mention of Mrs. Abernathy from a rando in the crowd.
The whole slave market sequence makes me angry and uncomfortable and that’s exactly how I’m supposed to be feeling. It’s clear that’s how Claire feels too. Plus an added dose of helplessness because there’s literally nothing she can do.
And I’m not at all surprised it’s seeing a man being sexually assaulted that makes her snap. With all of the times Claire herself has been assaulted and knowing what Jamie went through at Wentworth, it makes perfect sense for her to manage to hold it together despite her strong feelings, but then to lose it when she sees a man being dehumanized even further in that particular way.
Um, why the fuck did Jamie use Claire’s name instead of his own on the paperwork for Temeraire? She clearly had such a visceral reaction to the situation and he was like well you wanted me to fix it, so I bought a human...in *your* name. It’s really not a big deal. I think it just bugs me a little due to residual Jamie-annoyance from the episodes where I wanted to punch him in the face.
I *am* here for Jamie being immediately on board from the start with needing to get Temeraire somewhere he can live safely. As someone who has been a prisoner in one form or another for so much of his life, it would be out of character for Jamie to respond in any other way.
I like that Jamie and Claire make it clear to Temeraire that his freedom doesn’t hinge on his cooperation in helping them find Young Ian. They tell him he’ll be free as soon as possible regardless, and I’m very glad they make that explicit. Because again, it’d be out of character for them to do anything else. This is, however, kind of becoming a generic white guilt/white savior story. Like they can’t solve slavery but look at how they’re helping this one guy. But honestly, considering there’s like no time in the episode to devote to this particular storyline, this is about as unproblematic as it could get.
Aaand on to the prophecy stuff. It’s all well acted and stuff, I just have no interest whatsoever in this part of the plot.
Although Geillis’ sassy “bitch please” fan flick when Archibald says something is pretty great.
The whole time at the party I was like scared Claire’s hair was going to fall over to the side. Like you can do it, hair, defy the laws of physics! Don’t fall down! I believe in you!
Marsali calling Jamie a dandy is my everything. I really like Marsali, you guys.
Yi Tien Cho’s shade at Frenchmen is also my everything. Yi Tien Cho in general in this episode (and this season) is my everything.
Seriously, his face at Jamie telling him he’s there to be a distraction. Like aw *hell* no. I feel you, dude. It’s fucked up.
Ok the “Ye look as ‘twas yesterday.” line about Claire looking like she did at Versailles is a bit of on-the-nose meta commentary about how they don’t look like they’ve aged that works because it’s a super sweet thing to say regardless of how she actually looks. But Mr. Campbell’s line about “What chance that we end up on the same island, eh?” is up there with The Replacements’ lines last week about Claire randomly showing up in the weirdest places. Like we get it, there are a fuckton of convenient coincidences in the show. No need to point them all out.
The sadness and sympathy on Claire’s face as she sees all of the enslaved men around the room is perfect, as is Jamie’s picking up on it and asking when it will end. But his being in tune with just how much seeing enslaved people affects her again makes me wonder why he put her name on the certificate of sale. (Whatevs, it’s really fine. I don’t like hate Jamie for it.)
Ok so Jamie only calls Yi Tien Cho by his name when he’s making YTC play the part of the Exotic Other. Claire calls him by his name all the time because it’s his name. I do judge Jamie a little for this. When Jamie decided to rename Claudel to Fergus, it was a tad presumptuous, but Fergus embraced it and was on board. Mr. Willoughby was never a name that Yi Tien Cho embraced so calling him that seems a tad disrespectful, regardless whatever Scottish word his actual name sounds like.
Also, Claire’s face when the girl calls him Mr. Cho made me wonder if it was ever made clear what YTC’s family name vs. personal name is. Isn’t it custom for family names to be said first? So he’d actually be Mr. Yi? Is that what Claire’s face is in reaction to, or just the girl being absurd and racist about meeting YTC? Serious question, I can’t recall if this was ever addressed in the book...
Regardless, Yi Tien Cho has more patience and tolerance for bullshit than my privileged white ass could ever hope to have.
Giving him a storyline with Margaret is also infinitely better than the foot fetish bullshit from the book. But again, no brownie points for fixing the obvious problems, show.
Oh man, the look between Jamie and Claire. All the love and lust, and sadness and regret about losing so much time, and thinking of what might have been and what is still to come now that they’re together again. Just all the fucking feels. Their faces are good at emoting, guys.
Still a bit salty that Claire never got to really make Jamie see what the separation was like for her and that Jamie was so easily let off the hook for his behavior and that we had to headcanon most of their reconciliation but I’m tired of being salty, sooo whatever. *pours one out for what could have been*
Lord John’s happy puppy face when he sees Jamie is adorable.
I need Lord John and Chris Traeger to be best friends and like go on happy, optimistic adventures together.
“I thought she’d died too, but she returned to me.” “My god. But how”? “It’s a long story. I’ll send you the BluRay in a couple months. It’ll catch you right up.”
I know the party wigs are intentionally bad because they’re supposed to be wigs of the time period as opposed to the dead animal that’s been living on Jamie’s head all season, but Geillis’ wig is a special kind of ridiculous. (Also why is she randomly blonde now? Like whatever, who cares, but it’s a random change to make. Unless it was literally because the actress didn’t feel like dying her hair or something, haha.) (ETA -- It’s probs how they chose to show she’d aged. I’m an idiot.)
The scene with Jamie, Claire and LJG in the side room is perfect and awkward and I want to give them all a hug. Like look at all of their faces. LJG is like omg I heart you. I am full of feels about how I heart you. And Jamie is like omg thanks for raising my kid. I am full of feels about my kid. *writes and deletes a broken record rant about how it would have been nice to see him show this much emotion even fucking once about his other kid* And Claire’s like pulling double duty on the feels like oh man it’s so sad that Jamie doesn’t get to raise his son but it’s great he has someone to talk to about him and maybe just a bit of jealousy over Jamie getting to be part of Willie’s life for a bit but not Bree’s, and then also like yooo this dude is in love with my husband. I am so full of feels about how this dude is like pining over my husband. You’d better stay in your lane, dude.
TL;DR: Their faces. They’re good at emoting.
This episode does kind of cross over into the gay-guy-in-love-with-his-straight-best-friend trope area a bit. Part of why I liked show!LJG so much in episodes 303 and 304 was because while it was clear he liked Jamie, that wasn’t his primary feature. In this episode, it is. And while I’m here for Claire to notice that he cares for Jamie in a way that’s more than just buddies, it’s a tad too heavy handed with the heart eyes for me. Especially when he keeps telling a romanticized version of the sapphire story.
Like, it sucks to the max that Lord John can’t live honestly, but it seems that a guy who has been given shitty posts because of the rumors about him would be more subtle? The gay-guy-pining trope isn’t that interesting to me and part of why I don’t like book!LJG as much as most people. I know I’m probs in the minority here... I *am* still enjoying show!LJG much more than book!LJG though, and (to me) the genuine friendship between him and Jamie plays better here than in the book too. Like when they’re sitting at the table just catching up. I’m so here for their bromance, just not the pining.
I do love that Jamie calls Young Ian “our nephew” in the scene though, instead of “his nephew.”
If Yi Tien Cho and Margaret don’t run away together in the finale, I’m going to be sad. They win the prize for most surprising ship of the season. But I am On. Board. They each just want to be seen for who they are. Not just as an Other.
Love the convo between Claire and Lord John. And that it seems like he knows (or at least assumes) she knows about him and what he feels for Jamie because he knows Jamie tells her pretty much everything.
I also love Claire’s emphatic “I have.” to Lord John when he notes how she has returned. She’s Jamie’s wife and she is the only person who he loves in the way John wishes Jamie would love him. Like, she finally has Jamie back and she’ll get territorial with anyone who might presume to have a claim on him in a romantic sense. I honestly think that Claire being like this isn’t due to Lord John being a dude so much as just that he’s a human who has feelings for Jamie and at this point, regardless of the person’s gender, she’d start peeing circles around Jamie if *anyone* tried to make a move on her dude. Especially after 20 years with a guy she didn’t love. She did the opposite of pee circles around Frank. She let him do whoever whatever he wanted. He wasn’t worth fighting for. Jamie is. So I am *here* for Claire being a bit possessive. It’s the first time in a long time she’s had someone in her life worth staking a claim on.
I liked the convo with Claire and Geillis until like halfway through when I was like oh shit, wait, CLAIRE, GIRL, REMEMBER THAT SHE’S FUCKING CRAZY AND HAS STRAIGHT UP MURDERED THREE OF HER HUSBANDS AND RAPES BOYS AND KILLS THEM FOR HER BATHS AND HAS YOUNG IAN! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
“Why are men such fools?” You’re batshit crazy, Geillis, but you raise a good question.
Of course Geillis went to her own execution. I’d be disappointed in her if she hadn’t.
Ok but Geillis knows how Dougal really died, right? And she’s going to like bring it up with Jamie and Claire next week as something she’s butthurt about, right? It’s come up twice in the episode and I can’t tell if that’s because it’s going to be a thing or if she’s just talking...
Aaand now we get to the pure ridiculousness that I kind of just don’t pay attention to because I can’t even with this storyline.
Also, you’re really just going to grab at the governor’s crotch, Geillis? This lady has more red flags than a Chinese airport.
I get it’s a story that involves time travel, but apparently I draw the line at prophecies.
“A 200 year old baby? Do ye think I’m an idiot.” Geillis, who do you know that could maybe have traveled 200 years between getting knocked up and having a baby? Think about it for a hot second. The riddle is obvious af for us, the audience, but like even for Geillis it shouldn’t take that much to get to the answer. Sure she doesn’t know at the moment that Claire was pregnant and DeLorean’ed her way Back to the Future, had a baby, and then came back again, but she knows Claire’s a time traveler. They literally *just* talked about it. Whatevs. I’m guessing she’ll find the pictures of Bree next week like in the book and put it together so Claire has to murder her to stop her from going to kill Bree with the bloody machete from the promo clips and then she’ll be the skeleton in Joe’s office who was beheaded with a dull blade, which I still don’t think was important enough to include but whatevs, some folks love it and that’s fine too.
How convenient that the escaped slaves live near Rose Hall. But I am so here for Temeraire being like nope, not later, I’m going to be free now, here, goodbye.
For as problematic as the pictures have been for me this season, I do love that Jamie’s first thought when about to be arrested is protecting the pictures of Bree and Willie.
I do not love that we end on another cliffhanger.
*starts singing One Week More to self to the tune of Les Mis*
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