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jays-bookmarks · 1 year

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There was only one bed, but... (Dan Heng x gn!reader)

It's basically this picture. You're both nerds who don't know how to flirt and continually dance around your feelings.

Summary: March tries her best to set you up with the man you've been pining after since you first joined the Express, but her best-laid plans are foiled because both you and Dan Heng are socially incompetent. Words: 2.5k Warnings: secondhand embarrassment, awkward pining, reader is "short" (tiptoes to reach the top shelf lol), reader has some skimpy nightclothes

It had been a long day for you, March, and Dan Heng. After what happened during your mission, all you wanted was to flop down on a bed and sleep. As your group made its way to the inn, a very sheepish receptionist came to greet you. He apologized and explained that there were only two rooms left available.

“Oh, that's okay,” you said, glancing over at your teammates with a shrug. “I can share with March.”

March, however, quickly declined.

“No, uh—you should go with Dan Heng!” she said.

Your eyes widened at her words. “What? Why?”

You couldn’t hide the small blush on your face as you glanced over at Dan Heng. Luckily, he didn’t seem to notice your nervousness, having been equally surprised by March’s sudden proposition. He tilted his head, waiting for March to explain.

“Well…” March looked a little nervous under Dan Heng’s scrutiny. She gave you a meaningful look. “Since you’re so new to this, wouldn't it be safest to stay with Dan Heng? Don’t forget he’s the guard of the Astral Express! Besides, I, uh… snore pretty loud!”

She ended her sentence with an awkward giggle. You narrowed your eyes at her. You knew March was only taking this opportunity to set you up with Dan Heng, but you tried to play it cool and let him have the final say. There was no way he'd agree… right?

“...I suppose that makes sense,” Dan Heng said, turning to you. “Are you alright with that?”

“Huh? Uh—yeah!” You froze up under his gaze, then quickly glanced away. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and your face was so hot that you were sure Dan Heng didn’t miss your blush this time. You weren’t expecting him to agree so easily… but then again, why would he refuse? Despite the shiftiness of her delivery, March did make a sound argument. And Dan Heng clearly didn’t have any feelings he needed to keep hidden…

From the corner of your eye, you saw March pumping her first in victory before quickly hiding her hands behind her back. She bit her lip to suppress a grin. You shot her a glare, but she only giggled in response before ushering you all down the hall.

Once you saw the room you were staying in, your heart dropped. Of course, there was only one bed.

Dan Heng seemed completely unfazed, immediately moving to set his stuff down on the floor.

“You can have the bed,” he said, glancing back to where you stood frozen in the doorway. His gaze lingered on you for a moment. He seemed like he wanted to say something, but then he turned away and began taking off his coat.

You tentatively stepped into the room.

“A-are you sure? I… think there's enough room on the bed for both of us…” you said, but you could already feel yourself combusting at the thought of sharing a bed with Dan Heng. Sure, the bed was technically big enough for two people, but just barely. Trying to share this bed would definitely result in you two being squished uncomfortably close together.

You glanced over at Dan Heng, who shook his head and set his coat on the floor as a makeshift bedroll.

“I’ll be more comfortable on the floor," he said. Then, after a pause, he added in a quieter voice. "It would be best to keep a distance…"

Your face fell at his subtle rejection. Or, maybe you were just reading too much into it. He was probably just used to sleeping on the floor like he did in the archives. Or maybe he saw your awkwardness around him as you being uncomfortable with his presence. Or perhaps he just meant it would be easier for him to jump into action if the two of you weren’t tangled up together in bed. Oh gods, why did you word it like that? You shook the thought from your head and took a deep breath.

“Right, well… do you want an extra pillow or anything? A blanket?” You gestured to the bed.

Dan Heng shook his head again. “Don’t worry about me,” he said.

You sighed and turned to the closet anyway to look for an extra blanket. You had to stand on your toes to take it from the top shelf, but you managed without having to grab a stool. With that small victory spurring you on, you held the blanket out to him. But Dan Heng shook his head once more.

“You should take it,” he said. “It’ll be cold tonight.”

“And what are you gonna do? Just freeze?” you retorted.

He chuckled. “I’m used to sleeping in all sorts of conditions. I’ll be fine.”

He seemed adamant about letting you take the extra blanket. Unfortunately for Dan Heng, you also knew how to be stubborn. You frowned, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Come on… Just take it,” you said.

Dan Heng didn’t budge. You huffed, pouting a little.

“Please?”

He simply raised an eyebrow in response. You pursed your lips, trying to find another angle.

“Okay… how about this? If I get too cold tonight I’ll come and steal it from you. Deal?”

After a pause, he sighed and took the blanket. You grinned as you watched him lay the blanket down next to him. Grabbing your bag, you went to the bathroom to change and get ready for bed.

By the time you returned, Dan Heng was settled on the floor. He had Cloud-Piercer in his lap and was polishing the tip of the spear. You gestured to the bathroom as you passed.

“It’s all yours,” you said.

He looked up and you noticed his gaze briefly flick over your body. You blushed as you realized how little your sleepwear actually covered. Dan Heng quickly looked away, placing Cloud-Piercer against the wall as he stood.

“Thank you,” he said. He paused when you didn’t move from where you stood. “…You don’t have to wait for me. Rest.”

“Right… um, goodnight!”

“Goodnight.”

Despite the way your heart still hammered in your chest, you fell asleep surprisingly quickly. But not long after, you awoke to the sound of movement from the floor beside your bed.

As you blinked the sleep from your eyes, you heard Dan Heng mumbling something in his sleep. Concerned, you leaned over the bed to check on him. His brows were furrowed, and he was covered in a cold sweat while he tossed and turned. Was he having a nightmare? You stared at him for a moment longer, pondering whether you should try to wake him up. He was always such a private person… would he appreciate you butting into his personal life like this?

Still, you thought it would be best not to leave him to suffer. Sliding out from under the covers, you crouched down next to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. You called his name, trying to gently wake him up.

“Dan Heng…”

In a flash, you were pinned to the floor, your wrist held at a painful angle behind your back while Dan Heng’s other hand gripped the back of your neck. You sucked in a breath, too shocked to even say anything. A beat passed.

You heard Dan Heng quietly say your name in a surprised voice. He seemed to realize what had happened and quickly released you. His hands hovered uncertainly around you as you pushed yourself back into a sitting position with a groan.

“A-are you alright?” he asked. “I’m sorry, I thought—”

“I know,” you said, trying to give him a reassuring smile. “I’m sorry for waking you up. I was just—”

You shrugged and rubbed at your wrist to ease the pain. A look of guilt flashed over Dan Heng’s face.

“Anyway,” you continued. “I should be asking you that. Are you okay? Were… you having a nightmare?"

Dan Heng opened his mouth to reply, before closing it again. He seemed hesitant to say anything. You could tell he was still shaken up by his nightmare, whatever it was. Eventually, he let out a sigh.

“...No. It’s fine. Forget it happened,” he said.

You paused for a moment, biting your lip. If he didn’t want to talk, then you couldn’t exactly force him to open up. You nodded.

“As long as you're feeling okay…” You began to stand, but paused halfway to look back at him. “Um, but if you want to stay up and chat about other stuff… just as a distraction… I wouldn't mind.”

Though you were making the offer for him, part of you secretly wanted this late-night conversation. It was a way to get to know him better. As a friend, of course. You looked at Dan Heng, hoping he would accept.

“...I suppose I wouldn't mind a distraction at the moment.”

You let out a small sigh of relief. Flashing a smile, you returned to sit down beside him on the floor. After a brief pause, you realized that Dan Heng had expected you to start the conversation.

"Um. Okay, well…" you floundered for something to say. You were never good at holding a conversation, and the fact that Dan Heng was sitting so close to you wasn’t helping you in the slightest. You tried to tell yourself not to think about it—he had already rejected you, anyway, you could take a hint—but your body was reacting on its own. You hoped that he didn’t notice the flush on your cheeks in the dark room.

Dan Heng remained silent for a while longer, waiting for you to finish your thought, but when it became clear you had nothing to say, he let out a quiet chuckle.

“It seems we’re both quite bad at conversation, aren’t we?” he said.

You laughed as well, feeling a bit of the tension between you dissipating.

"Yeah… I guess I should've thought of that when I offered…"

The two of you fell into silence once more. Since you were so preoccupied with searching for a topic of conversation, you were unaware of how Dan Heng was struggling not to stare at you in your sleepwear. The chill in the room seeped into your exposed skin, and you shivered slightly, bringing your knees up to your chest.

“Here.”

Before you could react, Dan Heng had leaned over you. You froze, your mind going completely blank as you felt his breath fanning over your cheek. His arms trapped you on both sides and you tried not to move lest you accidentally touched him. Your eyes flicked down to his lips…

But then Dan Heng pulled back, and you felt something being draped over your shoulders. He had grabbed the spare blanket from behind you and was now wrapping it around you. His hands, no longer covered by his gloves, grazed your bare skin as he did so, leaving a pleasant tingling in their wake. When you finally managed to snap out of your shock, you reached up to secure the blanket with your own hands, and Dan Heng retreated into his space once again.

You thanked him quietly, hoping your voice didn’t shake too much. He nodded in response before glancing away with a cough. If you weren’t panicking so hard over what had just happened, you would’ve laughed and called him cute.

But you were panicking, and right now teasing him was the last thing on your mind. You tried desperately to think of something, anything, to change the topic and move away from this tension between you two.

You blurted out the first thought that came to your mind.

“Uh... what's your favorite animal?”

You blushed immediately after the words left your mouth.

“Um. Sorry, that was kind of a stupid question…” you said. “I'm... not very good at... talking."

Dan Heng chuckled. You let out a relieved laugh as well, glad that you hadn’t made things more awkward, at least.

“The white tiger,” he said. “They’re quite striking, and very elusive... To the people of the Xianzhou, it is known as the Guardian of the West, representing the season of autumn.”

You nodded as he spoke, trying to indicate that you were paying attention to his words and not the way his lips were currently curled into a smile. He turned his gaze to you and you quickly looked away.

“What about you?” he asked.

You blinked, pleasantly surprised that he was willing to continue the conversation. Glancing up at the ceiling with a hum, you thought about your answer.

"I like dragons,” you said. “Oh, actually—aren’t the Vidyadhara, like, dragon people? Can they turn into dragons?”

“Only some could turn into dragons. The power was a rare inheritance, passed down only to those who could successfully complete numerous rites and challenges.”

“Oh? Like what?”

Dan Heng began to explain. You nodded along, your fatigue beginning to catch up to you as you listened to his soothing voice. After a moment, you yawned and leaned against him with a sigh. Your tired brain had pushed the memory of your awkwardness from just moments ago to the back of your mind. You didn't notice the way Dan Heng stiffened at your touch, nor the way his breath hitched as he stopped mid-sentence.

A moment of silence passed, then your eyes flew open as you realized what you had just done. You quickly withdrew, stammering apologies.

"I'm so sorry! I don’t know what— I'm sorry!" Your face was flushed and you couldn’t meet Dan Heng’s gaze.

"No… it's fine.” Dan Heng’s voice was quiet and seemed to waver slightly. He took a breath before clearing his throat. "Don't worry about it…"

You took a breath as well, willing your heart to calm down. "Right, um..."

You glanced down at the floor as you fidgeted with your hands. That tension was back again. You were acutely aware of how close you came to touching each other every time one of you shifted on the bedroll. The silence stretched on as you once again wracked your brain for something to say.

“It’s getting a bit late…” you finally said. “Should we go to bed?”

You weren’t trying to drop any hints, per se, but you didn’t think your heart could handle any more accidents tonight.

“Yes... let’s try to be well-rested for tomorrow,” Dan Heng said.

He stood and offered you his hand. You paused, a little surprised, before you flashed a nervous smile and took it. You couldn't help but stare at the way his muscles flexed in his arm… You quickly shook the thoughts out of your mind and handed the spare blanket back to Dan Heng. You sat down on the bed, leaving him to settle back on the floor.

“Goodnight, Dan Heng,” you said. “And... thanks for chatting with me.”

“Goodnight. And—” Dan Heng paused for a moment, seemingly debating something in his mind. After a moment, he continued with a faint smile. “It was... nice to talk to you as well.”

#i sent excerpts of this fic to my friends and they were banging their head on the table bc of these idiots #i'm sure march would as well if she saw this #also i kept fucking hitting undo and losing all my work so this took literal hours to edit #i hope you enjoy bc I bled for this :')#never using tumblr's post editor to proofread fics ever again #dan heng x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail imagines #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #dan heng x you #dan heng x gender neutral reader #dan heng x gn reader #hsr x reader #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr x you #honkai star rail fanfic #dan heng imagines #honkai star rail #my writing

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cuffmeinblack · 1 year

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The experiment

Sebastian Sallow x Ominis Gaunt

Tags: explicit | first kiss | handjobs | admission of feelings

1.7k words

Summary: Ominis admits he isn't sure whether he has a sexual preference given his woeful inexperience. Sebastian offers to be his guinea pig.

A/n: Smut, with feelings.

Ominis sat next to Sebastian in the library, trying to think of a way to start his essay—Dittany and its uses. It should be fairly straightforward, but the room was full of distractions, and Scribner was nowhere to be found. Sebastian had taken to making a rolling commentary on every girl that walked past, much to Ominis' annoyance. He knew that they found Sebastian attractive, as demonstrated by the group of girls who giggled in his direction as Sebastian nudged Ominis hard in the arm. He'd spent the first half of their final year at Hogwarts growing increasingly irritated at the intrusions.

"You need to get out there more, Ominis. Is there anyone you fancy?" Sebastian muttered.

"Not really," Ominis said, idly twirling his quill in his hand.

"How does it work…you know…," Sebastian started.

"I have other senses as well, you know," Ominis interrupted.

"I know that, I'm asking if you prefer girls or boys," Sebastian said, his bluntness catching Ominis off-guard.

Sebastian was obviously more perceptive that he gave him credit for, and Ominis wasn't sure how to answer him.

"I suppose I'm more drawn to female voices, and they smell good, too," Ominis pondered.

Not entirely a lie. Except, Sebastian's voice was pleasant enough, especially when he was intentionally turning on his charm, of which he had in excess. And of course Ominis couldn't complain of the smell of his friend's hair when he leaned in to whisper some humorous remark or devilish jibe in his ear. He couldn't deny his fierce affection for his friend, or the jealous pangs in his stomach he felt whenever Sebastian flirted with a girl, he had simply chosen to ignore them—he was just lonely, scared of losing his friend.

"That they do," Sebastian agreed.

Ominis sighed. "I suppose I wouldn't know until I tried is my truthful answer."

A silence stretched between them as Ominis regretted his answer, doing his best to stop his cheeks from burning by nervously fiddling with his tie. He'd had it wrong, Sebastian simply wanted to believe they were the same, when it came to the most basic of urges. Of course they weren't.

"Do you want to?" Sebastian said finally in a quiet, almost subdued voice, completely rid of the cocky assuredness it usually held.

"Do I want to what?" Ominis asked, frowning.

"Try."

His reply was almost a whisper. Struck dumb, Ominis' mouth hung open as he stammered and tried to form a coherent sentence in reply.

"What are you talking about Sebastian?"

"I…never mind."

"Was that a genuine offer?"

"Yes."

The thought utterly terrified him, not only because of his woeful inexperience in such matters but because it was Sebastian—his best friend, his confidante. What if he hated the experience, would it make their interactions awkward? What if he did, in fact, enjoy it—that almost felt like a worse prospect, the thought of being sexually attracted to his friend who had only offered out of…what, charity?

He didn't have much time to dwell on the matter as he found himself being dragged across the library by Sebastian's hand around his wrist. He hadn't expected the forcefulness from his friend, who pulled him into a quiet corner, the chatter from the main library left behind. Ominis' heart beat rapidly and painfully in his chest as he felt Sebastian move closer to him, his breath on his face and hands brushing his forearms. Sebastian seemed to be reconsidering the idea as they stood in silence until Ominis drew a sharp breath, which seemed to spur him into action.

Sebastian pressed his mouth to his, their bodies both still, considering the development and waiting for a reaction. Ominis was frankly terrified, though the feeling of Sebastian's soft lower lip between his own stirred something deep inside him and he willed himself to move, parting his own lips to deepen the kiss. Sebastian seemed to think this was enough of a reaction as he tilted his head and pressed his body against Ominis', taking what little breath remained in his lungs away. Ominis gasped and parted his lips eagerly, anticipating Sebastian's tongue which delved into his mouth and found his own.

Ominis had expected his first kiss to be a gentle and awkward encounter, but this was frenetic and intense, as if they'd been waiting for this moment for years. If Ominis were truthful to himself, he had—and the reasons for the late nights where he found himself thinking of his best friend's face nuzzled against his neck became painfully obvious.

They were now so entangled that he could feel Sebastian's hip bones pressing into him as Ominis gripped his waist tightly, Sebastian's hands tangled in Ominis' hair. Their breathing was erratic and Ominis found it hard to remain silent and keep his ears open to any noise from wandering students. He lost his control once he felt Sebastian's hips push against him, his own arousal so painfully clear. Ominis let out a quiet moan at the friction and Sebastian became completely still then started pulling away, his hands quickly untangling themselves from his hair.

Ominis had no idea what to say or do, so simply stood there and waited for Sebastian to say something. But he never did, only turned and left without another word, leaving Ominis standing against the cold wall, dishevelled, aroused and confused.

Sebastian wasn't in Charms, in fact Ominis didn't see him at all for the rest of the day. He wasn't even at dinner, and Ominis picked at his food for a while before giving up and retiring to the common room. He asked a few of his classmates about Sebastian's whereabouts but nobody seemed to know where he was. Ominis thought he knew where he would be, but clearly Sebastian was avoiding him, and he wasn't sure what would be achieved by ambushing him. Ominis needed to think carefully about what to say—should he apologise? Put it down to being inexperienced and touch-starved? It hadn't been a feeling he could control, after all.

Sebastian's own actions were confusing enough—he had been the one to suggest it, initiate it, and his kisses were eager. Ominis had no basis for comparison, but he was pretty sure that Sebastian had enjoyed it, too. Ominis tried to distract himself by reading but the pursuit seemed entirely hopeless. He retreated to the dormitory, deciding to get an early night.

His roommates filed in over the coming hours as Ominis lay in bed, thinking, fidgeting, and waiting. Sebastian was the last to enter the room just before curfew, Ominis recognising his familiar footfalls and the scent of his skin.

"Are you just going to ignore me for the rest of our lives, Sebastian?" he said.

The hours of rumination had turned his thoughts angry and bitter. Sebastian stopped his approach towards his bed and Ominis noticed his roommate's chatter die down. They must be used to the two friends' bickering but Ominis rarely used such a tone. Sebastian walked towards Ominis, who was sitting on top of his bedsheets in his pyjamas, books strewn over the mattress. Ominis felt the dip in the bed as Sebastian's weight fell next to him, heard the curtains around his bed draw shut and a loud sigh and a muttered silencing charm.

"I'm not apologising, Sebastian. You started it. I can't help it if I…" Ominis trailed off, losing some of his confidence.

"What? Why would you apologise?" Sebastian asked.

Ominis frowned. He thought that was fairly obvious.

"For becoming…," Ominis breathed deeply, trying to force the words out. "Aroused."

"Merlin's beard, Ominis. So was I, that's why I left," Sebastian muttered.

"So what does that mean?" Ominis said, his head swimming.

"I don't know, I suppose that the experiment was a success?" Sebastian laughed weakly.

"I suppose it was," Ominis said nervously.

"Well I'm in your bed now, so…," Sebastian said, pushing Ominis back against the headboard and straddling his lap.

Ominis knew what to expect this time and chose to lose himself in the moment instead of worrying if the silencing charm would hold. He moaned into Sebastian's mouth as he hummed appreciatively. Ominis' buttons were swiftly undone, Sebastian's hands finding their way to his chest and gliding across his taut stomach.

"I've wanted this for so long," Sebastian muttered as his mouth found Ominis' neck, kissing and sucking his skin gently. Ominis found it so much more exciting than his fantasies. Sebastian's top was thrown to the end of the bed and Ominis felt his way around his torso. He had imagined Sebastian's body to be similar to his but he was broader as well as taller, with more muscle on his frame. He traced the hardness of his abdominal muscles down, stopping tentatively at his waistband. Sebastian ceased his exploration of his neck and rest his forehead against his temple, breathing heavily against his cheek, taking Ominis' hand gently and placing it on his erection.

"Touch me, Ominis, please," he whispered.

Ominis felt fear bubble up inside him—he'd only learned how to pleasure himself, what if Sebastian liked different things? What if he was disappointed? He ran his thumb over the head of his cock, glistening with precum, and ran his hand down the shaft, taking him in his hand firmly and starting a steady rhythm. Sebastian's fingers curled into his hair as his mouth returned to Ominis', planting slow and deep kisses on his lips and moaning altogether too loudly. Apparently Ominis did know how to pleasure him.

Sebastian sensed Ominis' own growing frustration and increasingly urgent thrusts of his hips and his hands dropped to pull down his pyjama trousers. As he took Ominis' erection in his hand, he shouted an expletive and whimpered as Sebastian stroked him gently. As their orgasms built, Ominis could feel Sebastian's hand becoming shaky as their tempos matched.

"I'm going to…," Ominis gasped into Sebastian's mouth.

Sebastian groaned as he finished, thrusting into Ominis' hand, his cum spilling over his fingers. Ominis felt his orgasm explode just afterward, his arms shaking and legs numb from Sebastian's weight on his thighs. They'd made an awful mess, but they didn't much care, instead brushing their lips against each other and gasping until their breathing steadied.

"Merlin, you're beautiful, Ominis," Sebastian whispered.

Ominis smiled and wondered how they'd waited seven years for this.

#ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt fanfiction #ominis gaunt smut #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian sallow smut #sebinis #gaullow #ominis gaunt x sebastian sallow #ominis x sebastian

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bengiyo · 3 months

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Cherry Magic TH Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Last week, Achi went to a different city to help set up a new office. There, he had to work on his social skills to bond with the new staff, and succeeded through the power of his good nature and soccer. Karan and Achi stayed in touch the entire time they were separated, and Karan visited twice. Achi hesitated about coming out, but was rewarded when the new team was completely supportive and only asked about his partner so they knew who to contact. Meanwhile, Jinta talked Min into not giving up on an audition, and Min said he loved Jinta. We left on Achi losing his powers in a very satisfying bed scene and afterglow.

Achi really lucked out with Karan.

I'm so proud of Achi for managing to complete this project and earn the confidence of this team.

Ah yes, a finale. It's time to meet the parents.

Boss, don't remind me of the no dating rule.

Pai is such a supportive friend.

NOT THE BALLOONS SOUNDING LIKE GUNSHOTS

Damn, Mom, why you gotta dunk on your own son??

It's fine, she's definitely cool with it. She already put them to work and doled out advice.

I love Karan so much. This man recorded Achi expressing love in the Northern dialect, and Achi agreed so he wouldn't have to say it often.

It couldn't all be cherries on tablecloths. Looks like Karan is maintaining continuity with his Japanese counterpart's family.

Achi's mom hugging Karan is something that can be so personal.

I will never get over Jinta wearing sunglasses over his glasses.

Yes, let's model good fan behavior with the artist. They only jumped because they thought Jinta was trying to kidnap Min and then calmed down. They're even fans of Jinta's book!

Absolutely love that Karan is not withholding his feelings from Achi about how his mom might be homophobic.

AN 8 HOUR DRIVE? Are we going to Dallas???

Give that man his reward, Achi!

Welp, I knew it was too simple with Karan's mom. She very smoothly shoved them into a closet.

I'm glad it's the sister having this conversation with the mom.

She said her piece and counted to three!!!

Karan being a little brother makes so much sense every time.

Look at Tay Tawan acting. I know the mom and dad turning around so quickly is a bit unrealistic, but I like the aspirational nature of it. It could be this easy if we tried hard enough for each other.

Of course he proposed. I love this man.

You know he's had that ring ready for a while!

COME THROUGH, ACHI!! MUTUAL GAY PROPOSAL!!!

Wow, that was everything I hoped for and more out of the family stuff.

Whoa, did Jinta reveal he popped that cherry?

Oh, it's also the symbol for Min's group.

Aww, Rock has a fan!!

Pai is definitely shipping Rock and the fan.

Save the date!!

Well well well, Cherry Magic Thailand. Good job being explicit about marriage equality.

Okay, I like the reference to the pens.

I'm okay with Rock and Pai getting to date.

These two are very good at the aesthetics of an onscreen kiss.

Final Verdict: 9.5, This is Now My Default Version. I did not expect to come out on the other end of this liking the Thai version more than the Japanese live action, but here we are. Minus episode 8 (which I will pretend doesn't exist), this was perfect execution of the core premise and strong regard for the character dynamics. This show earned every moment, and managed to deliver a satisfying finale for the whole cast. It's been a long week of finales, and I like how good so many were. TayNew getting back together was not something I expected, and I'm so thrilled that they delivered such a strong outing. What a time to be a Cherry Magic fan. I'm excited to keep reporting on the anime and then talk about all three shows.

#Ben watches #cherry magic #cherry magic th #cherry magic thailand #cherry magic! thirty years of virginity can make you a wizard?!#30 sai made doutei dato mahoutsukai ni nareru rashii #thai bl #bl series

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deaddee-anime-brownfanlady · 10 months

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Honestly, when it comes to Mitzi May, I truly do feel for the woman, like seriously. I perhaps can get why some don't care for her or when it comes to disliking her actions at times. Which I find interesting considering all of the Lackadaisy characters aren't exactly the most upstanding or super high moral group of individuals except for probably Horatio or Lacy. Back to Mitzi, I feel she doesn't get enough love or that she underappreciated and not value enough.

For real the woman is seriously and desperately doing all that she can to keep the Lackadaisy speakeasy afloat while at the same time still grieving over the lost of her husband and taking up as boss after his mysterious murder. Which is still up in the air on who could've actually killed Altas amongst the rumors of Mitzi being involved, but reading & re-reading the comic more than often and taking in the little details of dialogue and how Mitzi speaks of Atlas within parts of the comic or even in the pilot, I deeply think that you can feel also see that she truly did loved Atlas a lot.

Like Mitzi is doing all that's she can to try to keep her late husband legacy and his once booming empire in tack. Although...very obviously struggling to do so, Since after Atlas death about most if not a good half of the Lackadaisy staff and those who where super loyal to Atlas rolled on out completely. With only a few of the original staff members left such as Viktor and Horatio including the band.

I'm not sure how super involved Mitzi was when it comes to the business side of handling a speakeasy and dealing with the "Dirty work" aspect of it when Atlas was still alive? From some parts of the comic it's seems that Mitzi obviously knew the dangerous surroundings and dealings of her husband business affairs.

It seems pretty apparent that Mitzi most definitely knew the dangerous surroundings of what her husband was doing. I mean it's being during prohibition and all and running a underground illegal speakeasy and dealing with comparators. Of course it be a bloody dangerous way of living and business life and I'm certain from parts of the comic and even bits of the mini ones is that Mitzi knew of the dangers of said business life, but back then with her husband around she was just the boss wife and maybe wasn't as super involved with that side of the speakeasy except for the entertainment aspects. Now Mitzi is very much desperately trying to hold everything all together of what her husband left behind. Now I can get on some levels when it comes to Mitzi actions being questionable and some fans not caring for the way she can go about things.

Honestly I too don't always agree to the some of the lengths or certain things Mitzi does. But I can see her were she coming from sometimes and the fact that she doing all she can to keep Lackadaisy up. Also, I think her desperation in some cases and her trying so hard to keep the speakeasy going could be tie to some parts of her upbringing. Which I remember hearing from one of the Lackadaisy streams from the Official Youtube channel, on dealing with parts of Mitzi background and how she came from poverty growing up and honestly its really makes sense on why she so desperately doing all she can in terms of trying to keep Lackadaisy going.

From living and having to grow up in poverty to being constantly on the road as a musician with Zib and the rest of the band gang most likely getting gig after gig and probably maybe, perhaps not always having a whole lot of money when doing so. Until suddenly you find yourself performing at an fancy hotel and catch the attention of a highly esteemed gentleman that you thought you would probably never had the chance of being close towards.

Also, the fact that the woman literally sold everything she had to keep everyone feed. Like seriously she sold her and Altas likely huge house and all the cars not mentioned she sold off all of her wedding china's. I mean I feel she wouldn't do that if she didn't actual cared about the band and what's left of the staff members or simply trying her best to hold onto what her husband built. Now who truly killed Atlas is still a mystery and I can see why some might assume and feel it's Mitzi, but this little scene right still gets me. When reading this specific scene and part of the comic on Mitzi selling off everything she had expect for the pearl necklace Altas gave her for the first time and how at that moment she truly felt like she was somebody and how Altas made her feel like a special girl.

Honestly, there's so much going on with Mitzi that I seriously can't help but deeply feel for her and what she is dealing with. I can understand on some levels why she might not be everybody favorite, but I truly feel for her and her trying her hardest and best to keep things going...while not always using the greatest methods....but I do believe Mitzi deserves some love because lord the woman been through some rough shit.

#lackadaisy cats #mitzi may #lackadaisy #lackadaisy comic #lackadaisy spoilers #lackadaisy meta #lackadaisy pilot #meta analysis #webcomic #character meta

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thorns-and-rosewings · 3 months

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And now here we are at part 9 of the Reaper King AU💀, I know it's been a while since I updated but unfortunately life has a habit of throwing wrenches into plans. Sorry about that...

TW: As usual, disturbing imagery and some sensitive topics being brought up.

-Bloodmoon is just pissed off beyond words which is extremely evident as he grabs Sun and fully prepares to mangle him-

Harper: FREEZE!

-The Bloodtwins barely stop a millimeter from Suns face and cast a very annoyed look back to the park ranger who just walked into a group of cryptids like it was nothing.

Bloodmoon: This is revenge! We want to kill them SOOO bad! Don't interrupt this!

Harper: I'm only interrupting because your dad called; he's coming to see what is going on... And to hold off any killing until he gets here.

-Bloodmoons look of irritation quickly evaporated into one of smugness and he let out some barking laughter as he looked down at the still bound forms of Sun and Moon before him.

Vamp: Ohhh dad's gonna handle you two himself!

Lycan: So you're already dead, hope you have your funeral plans laid out already!

-Moon growls hatefully at the gathering of supernatural creatures before him but his eyes narrow as he looks at Harper with particular malice.

Harper: No, I do my job. I try to keep people alive who come here, but if you're are stupid or just outright unlucky... Well... I gave warnings. Nothing else I can do.

Moon: So... you're working with these freaks?

Banshee: (Chuckles) You're dating our dad too.

Moon: Oh God...

Harper: (Laughs) And of course, that's a major reason why I don't care if stupid people die.

-Wendigo shifts around until he is essentially sitting in a 'cat loaf' position. The massive creature looking over at Bloodmoon and the younger monster kids close to him.

Wendigo: Did Dad hear the call from all the way on the other side of the mountain? I thought that's where he said he was hunting today.

Harper: I don't know if he heard it per say; all I know is that he said that his 'Dadcode Sense' was going off and he was coming to see whatever was going on for himself... I think he's got the most powerful parental instincts there ever were, so I wouldn't question it.

-Wendigo chuckles as this is seemingly agree upon by all of the creatures present.

-As absolutely bizarre as it is for both Sun and Moon to witness... They watch this group of horrifying miscreants, even BLOODMOON, get along. Chatting as casually as if there was nothing weird at all with the situation. Hell Bloody several times even playfully pats at the vampire and werewolf twins. His actions showing no hint of malice; as he truly viewed the entire lot as his family and treated them as such.

-Suns gaze continued drifting to all of the different monsters in front of him. And somehow Sun can see them each as the children they were before they transformed... He doesn't know HOW he is doing this, but the thought that all these kids had their humanity taken from them by Killcode and Bloodmoon somehow nearly makes him sick.

-He suddenly notices that the little blue flame atop Bloodmoons head has a pair of white eyes and is actually watching him. Upon noticing that Sun was looking back at her she floats off... Those white eyes fill with tears and grows larger, roughly the size of a 5 year old and she stands next to Bloodmoon and just... Clings to him... He pats the little girls head and glares malevolently at Sun all over again.

Harper: (Noticing Wisp seeming distressed) Wisp honey, are you alright?

Bloodmoon: The bastards tried to kidnap her. Yet another reason we want them DEAD!

Harper: (Whistles) Wow... Hope dying quickly wasn't your plan because once KC hears that, well... You earned it.

-These words get cruel snickering laughs from the other monsters present.

-Yet this laughter was cut short as the entire area seemed to suddenly become veiled in shadows. A particular patch of darkness started to creep across the ground. Eventually stopping in the very center of this gathering... And then from this seemingly living shadow a massive clawed hand emerged before slowly the rest of the body was pulled out of the darkness...

-Reaper Killcode stood in all of his horrifying glory.

-After a moment there's a movement on his back and it became noticable that The Baby was on his shoulders. Only now she looked far more like a baby animatronic, one that closely resembled a tiny version of KC at this point. She moves from where she had been clinging to him like a little sloth and looks to Harper and extends a tiny clawed hand. While saying 'Mama!'

-The baby's name is now Shinigami. Or Shini for short.

-She is the only one of the Monster Family that truly views Harper as her mom...

-Harper is like the totally chill step-mom who is very respectful of boundaries and has made a massive genuine effort to become friendly with each of KC's kids. So even if she doesn't have any parental status to the kids she is given a certain amount of respect and they all are on good terms with her.

-Even the Bloodtwins and that was a massive life ACHIEVEMENT...

-Harper takes Shinigami into her arms as KCs eyes land on the bound forms of Sun and Moon and he is immediately bombarded with the story from Lycan Vamp and the Bloodtwins. While Wisp didn't say anything she gave a motion that she wanted to be held and KC picked her up and settled her into the crook of his arm.

-Only once he got the entire story did KC slowly approach Sun and Moon while slowly pulling out one of his scythes.

KC: Well well well... Out of all the individuals I never expected, nor wanted to see again... You two were at the top of the list.

-There is a brief conversation, mostly with Moon just snapping at Killcode demanding to know how the hell a whole forest just randomly shows up in there world eight days after he sent Bloodmoon and KC through the portal.

-This reveals that not only did the Monster Family (Their default title) NOT know how their home moved dimensions, but also revealed that eight days in this dimension was actually eight years in the dimension they had been in.

-But before anything else could be stated, surprisingly it is Sun who asks a question...

Sun: Did you steal a bunch of kids from their families and turn them into monsters?

-The question clearly made the tension rise amongst the entire group in the area. With many sets of eyes narrowing at the sunny animatronic. But the most extreme reaction came from Wendigo, who not only shot upright from his loafing position, now bipedal and being the height of an adult bull moose standing on its hind legs... He slammed his fist into a nearby tree, practically making it explode into a mist of splinters... He made a movement to lunge for Sun in his anger. Only stopped by Killcode holding up a hand, preventing him from advancing any further.

Wendigo: Shut your damn mouth! Our father RESCUED all of us!! Don't you dare insult him!

Banshee: (Tightening the chains binding Sun and Moon) Dad can WE kill them? I'm gonna rip that one's jaw off!

KC: (Sighs) It's alright kids, ease it up... Mere words are not enough to upset me. In fact I'm going to do these two a favor and overlook the fact that he even said anything at all. Considering... They may be useful to us.

Bloodmoon: You're joking! You can't be serious!

KC: Bloodmoon, what are our laws?

Bloodmoon: What does that have to do with-

KC: (More forceful) What are the laws?!

Bloodmoon: Never kill kids, never kill someone who can't fight back and-

KC: And never kill anyone you are indebted too... And like it or not; we are indebted to these two.

Bloodmoon: WHAT?!

KC: Had they not sent us through that portal, we would not have everything we currently do... We would not have our family. And I would rather not envision what our lives would look like then...

...an uneasy silence falls over the Monster Family as they listen to their patriarch, but he brings his scythe up closer to his face and inspects the blade...

KC: However... You did just attempt to kidnap one of my daughters. Which would under normal circumstances... I would cut you down where you stand. So that debt is essentially... Null...

Moon: So what the fuck are you doing then? You looking for an excuse to kill us? An excuse to bend your own rules?

KC: No... But I have to acknowledge ALL of the facts. Ultimately you're not entitled to any mercy from me at this point. BUT... You Moon, could be useful to me and my family.

Moon: ....how?

KC: We have been fortunate to not have any grievous injuries that need specialized repairs... But such a day could come. Be it for Bloodmoon, myself... Or my daughter Shini. But should that day come, we'd need someone with the knowledge, resources and the skills to do aforementioned repairs.

Moon: .....

KC: So here is my offer. We agree to a mutual deal... Should we need your assistance, you provide it. But mostly the arrangement would be that you leave us alone and we leave you alone.

-KC suddenly moves his scythe until it is perfectly level with Suns neck...

KC: Of course, this offer expires in 10 seconds... 9... 8... 7-

Moon: Okay! Okay! Fine! We'll take the deal!

KC: Wise decision... (Puts his scythe away and motions for Banshee to release the two from her chains, which she does and the brothers quickly stand up) Now get out of my sight...

-Moon grabs Sun by the shoulder and drags his brother away, careful not to spare a single glance at any of the monsters, Bloodmoon or the Reaper...

...This was not going to be fun to explain to Solar...

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biggerbetterbat · 4 months

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WITH YOU [44] TODAY I BURY YOU

Daryl Dixon x OC!Charlie Reed

Summary: When Charlie and her new group start their new life; however, something even more tragic takes place. A person that Charlie thought she could trust, makes her do something horrible.

Warnings: death, murder, language, angst, this chapter is basically A MESS

Song: To Built a Home The Cinematic Orchestra

Words: 3,200

A/N: I’m exhausted by the heartbreak in this season and I’m so thrilled to announce that there’s ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT!

Enjoy!!!

"Girls like it here," Carol said. "We could build it up, plant more food. We could find a car for an escape route just in case."

Charlie furrowed her eyebrows, because she didn't remember the moment she agreed on the plan of staying.

"It doesn't mean we can't go someday," Tyreese interrupted her thoughts, seeing her confusion. "It's just when we were getting closer and closer, I realised, I'm just not ready to be around other people yet."

Charlie felt a pang of guilt wash over her as she heard Tyrese's words, because for the whole time she was thinking about herself. He knew she was struggling with Judith, and he never tried to make her take over the baby. Charlie wished she could erase Tyrese's fears, make them vanish into thin air, and it was a simple way to do that. They should stay and create a more comfortable environment for him. For all of them.

"You don't have to," Charlie said. Carol smiled at her, glad that they had the approbation from the younger girl. Then she turned around and walked ahead looking for the deer they were supposed to track, leaving the other two alone.

As Charlie looked around at Tyrese and Carol, she thought about the girls, and she realized that their safety and well-being were her top priorities. Despite the allure of Terminus and the promise of sanctuary it held, the possibility of other survivors waiting there, Charlie couldn't shake the feeling of unease gnawing at her. She knew that venturing into the unknown posed risks, especially with the group's current vulnerabilities. Staying together in the familiar confines of the house offered a sense of security and stability that she couldn't ignore. Moreover, the bond they shared as a makeshift family was growing in strength, something she couldn't forsake lightly. With determination in his heart, Charlie made his decision: staying with Tyrese, Carol, and the girls was the best course of action, a choice rooted in loyalty and love.

Maybe starting the life all over again wouldn't be that bad...

As they trudged through the dense undergrowth, the weight of disappointment hung heavy in the air. Each step seemed to echo with the sound of their dashed hopes, the rustling leaves whispering a somber melody. Charlie could feel the exhaustion creeping into her bones, a physical manifestation of the emotional letdown they all shared. The fading light cast long shadows across the forest floor, amplifying the sense of desolation that enveloped them.

Silence draped over the group like a shroud, broken only by the occasional rustle of leaves or the distant call of a bird. The journey home felt longer than usual, each twist and turn of the path stretching out before them like an eternity. Charlie's mind wandered as she walked, replaying the events of the day in his head, searching for any sign of what they could have done differently.

"We'll get one yet," Tyreese was trying to cheer her up. "Probably not even deer season."

"Yeah," Charlie smiled and nodded. "They're just giving me time to practice my shooting."

"Exactly," Tyreese patted her back with a smile and left it there as a supportive gesture.

A warm smile spread across her face. It was a friendship born out of shared experiences and mutual understanding, a bond that had grown stronger with each passing day. His unwavering support had helped her weather even the toughest of storms, reminding her that she was never alone in this harsh world. They had also shared moments of joy and laughter, finding solace in each other's company amidst the chaos of their lives. Whether it was sharing stories around the campfire or simply enjoying each other's presence in comfortable silence - and it was silence mostly on Charlie's end, Tyreese was talking even when he was sleeping. As she thought about Tyrese, Charlie couldn't help but feel grateful for the bond they had formed.

"My husband used to hunt," Carol said. "He'd tell the same stupid joke every year."

"You gonna tell it?"

"Well, I guess I have to now, right?" she sighed with a smile. "What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are around 1.79, and deer nuts are just under a buck."

Tyreese chuckled what brought a smile on Charlie's face. "That's good stupid, but in no way is it stupid good."

"Yeah, I told you." Carol chuckled. "There's more where that came from."

As they finally emerged from the woods, the familiar sight of their home greeted them, a beacon of warmth and safety in the gathering darkness. Their home...It was amazing that in such short time a person could get used to a place and call it his. Despite their disappointment, there was a sense of relief in returning to familiar surroundings, a sense of solace in knowing they were not alone. She was passing a high grass with snow white flowers, and Charlie thought that Mika should see them, so they would make flower crown for Griselda.

Suddenly, Carol and Tyreese stopped abruptly. Charlie looked up from the ground and white wild flowers, and stopped walking right next to them.

Charlie's heart plummeted into the depths of despair as she stumbled upon the harrowing scene before her. Shock and horror rippled through her, freezing her in place as she struggled to comprehend the unthinkable sight. The sight of Lizzie with bloody hands and Mika's lifeless body sent waves through her body. A sickening knot formed in the pit of her stomach, twisting with each passing second as the reality of the situation sank in. She felt a surge of raw emotion welling up inside her – anger, sorrow, disbelief – a tumultuous whirlwind of feelings threatening to overwhelm her fragile composure.

Lizzie. The weight of this revelation pressed down on her like a crushing burden, leaving her feeling numb and hollow inside. Charlie struggled to comprehend how someone so young and seemingly innocent could be capable of such a senseless act of violence.

Feelings of shock and betrayal flooded Charlie's senses, as she grappled with the devastating truth. She felt guilty that they left it be - the darkness that lurked beneath Lizzie's innocent facade.

She dropped to her knees couple feet away from Mika's body.

Charlie's thoughts turned to Mika, sweet and innocent creature, whose life had been tragically cut short. Tears blurred her vision as she knelt beside Mika's lifeless form, aching with the unbearable weight of loss. She was unable to shake the overwhelming sense of grief that washed over her. But amidst the devastation, there was also a sense of betrayal, of disbelief that Lizzie could commit such act. And as she looked into Lizzie's vacant eyes, Charlie felt a shiver run down her spine, realizing that the world they lived in was more brutal and unforgiving than she had ever imagined.

"Don't worry. She'll come back. I did't hurt her brain," Lizzie said to her with a smile. Charlie looked up at her with anger, ready to just let it out on the girl. Carol took a step forward, what angered Lizzie who held up her gun. The woman stopped in her tracks, as no one had doubts whether the girl could fire. "No, no, no! We have to wait. I need to show you. You'll see. You'll finally get it. We have to wait."

"Lizzie, put the gun down," said Tyreese with the calmest voice.

"I just want us to wait!"

"We can wait," Carol answered and crossed eyes with Charlie who was just sitting there in fear. "Just give me the gun. We can wait, I swear. You and Tyreese should take Judith back."

"Carol...It's not safe for her," Charlie protested, sure not to trust the girl with a baby. As a confirmation of her worries, Lizzie spoke up.

"But Judith can change, too. I was just about to..."

"She can't even walk yet," Carol said, her voice broke a little. "So take Judith back to the house and we'll have lunch. And Charlie will help me to tie Mica up. Just so she won't go anywhere."

"We'll use her shoelaces," Charlie said, still looking at the dead girl.

Once Tyreese left with the baby and the mad girl, Carol broke down in tears. Charlie sat at a distance, watching Carol crumble over Mika's lifeless body. Her heart sank as she witnessed the pain on her face, mirroring the pain she once saw back on the farm. Charlie couldn't help but empathize with her, feeling the weight of her grief as they were all sharing it. Knowing that Carol had already lost a daughter made the scene even more heartbreaking for her, as she imagined the depth of her sorrow and the haunting memories it must have stirred.

"We can't leave her like this," Carol sobbed. "She was too good."

"Then what now?"

Out of nowhere, right in front of her, materialized long lost knife. One of many that she took from her apartment when she decided to leave it. Except, this one was special one and long lost present from her family, the exact same knife that was the final reason of Lori's death. Charlie knew what the woman meant by that move.

Charlie's fists clenched at her sides as a surge of fury and betrayal washed over her. Anger burned hot within her as she struggled to make sense of Carol's actions. How could she do this? How could she ask her that, knowing that she was still reliving that one day in the boiler room. The sense of betrayal cut deep, leaving Charlie grappling with a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. So all her compassion for Carol disappeared a little as she forced into doing the dirty job.

"Please, Charlie," she whispered. "I can't kill another person...I can't...She's a child."

She wanted to scream at Carol. She really was frustrated, because she wasn't ready to kill another person, especially this little thing. However, someone had to do the dirty job.

Charlie's hands trembled as she knelt beside Mika's lifeless body, his mind racing with the horrific realization of what had transpired. In a desperate act to prevent further tragedy, she had been forced to take Mika's life, already lost at the hands of Lizzie's madness. The weight of the decision that wasn't even made by her, pressed heavily upon her, the guilt and anguish threatening to consume her. Tears welled in her eyes as she whispered a solemn apology to the young girl, her heart heavy with the burden of actions that took place and were about to be taken. In that moment, Charlie knew that she would carry the guilt of what she had done for the rest of her days.

The room was quiet. No one dared to speak or even breathe louder. Charlie's eyes were red and puffy from crying, no tears were coming from them. Her thoughts swirling in her brain with doubt and fear. The thought of taking another life, even to prevent further pain, filled her with a profound sense of dread. Mika's lifeless body haunted him, a stark reminder of the harsh realities of their world. How could she justify such a decision? How could she play God in a world already ravaged by chaos and death?

"I could leave with her," Carol shook her head. "We can't sleep with her and Judith under the same roof."

"You wouldn't make it. Not on your own," Tyreese shook his head voicing his worries.

"She can't be around other people."

"Maybe we should try to help her," he said. "Or we will go. And you will stay."

"There's only one way," Charlie said finally. "She can't be around other people. Any people."

"So what we should do?" Carol asked and looked scared into her eyes, knowing very well what she meant.

"You know what," Charlie said. "We eliminate danger, and she is a danger."

As Charlie trudged back home, every step felt heavier than the last. The weight of what she had done hung like a leaden shroud around her shoulders, dragging her down into guilt and sorrow. Each passing moment seemed to stretch on endlessly, filled with the echoes of Lizzie's final moments and the haunting memory of the gunshot that had torn through the silence.

The weight of the gun felt heavier than ever as she was carrying it back home, her hand trembling with the feeling of what she just done. With tears dried down on her face the deafening gunshot echoing in the silence was still echoing in her head. She was drained, both physically and emotionally, the weight of her actions that day were bearing down on her like a crushing burden. In that moment, she realized the true cost of survival in this unforgiving world - the loss of innocence, the sacrifice of humanity, and the indelible scars left on the heart.

She longed for the comfort of oblivion, to escape the relentless onslaught of guilt and remorse that threatened to consume her. She also needed Daryl and Glenn.

As she entered the house, she found Carol and Tyreese waiting for her. Carol was crying and gasped as she saw her, clearly in pain. Tyreese just looked at her, not saying a word to her as he knew it was not needed just yet. After what happened today, the house immediately lost all its heavenly qualities and became just some walls and a roof again. Charlie realized that it was a grave from the very first moment they placed their feet here.

"Your turn," she said, throwing the gun on the counter. "I've done my part."

"Charlie..." Carol whispered, touching her arm.

"Help her, Tyreese. I'll look over Judith."

"You sure?" he asked. "You never wanted to be with her."

"It's fine," Charlie clenched her teeth and walked into the room that the baby was in. It was inside of the crib, cooing quietly. She just looked at it and as soon as the little girl started spreading her arms and whining to be picked up, she left the room. Charlie rested her back in the wall and slid down.

She was sitting outside of the room with hands over her ears, eyes squeezed tight, trying to ignore the cries. As Judith's cries pierced the air, echoing through the walls of the house, Charlie couldn't help but be transported back to another time, another place. The sound of Lori's agonized screams during childbirth reverberated in her mind, haunting her with the raw intensity of that moment. The memories flooded back with a force, threatening to overwhelm her with the weight of grief and loss. She remembered the desperation in Lori's eyes, the pain etched into every line of her face as she fought for her life and the life of her child.

In Judith's cries, Charlie heard echoes of his own helplessness, his own inability to save those he loved from the cruel hand of fate.

Finally, she gave up, storming the room again. Charlie's voice cracked as she shouted at Judith, the frustration and despair bubbling over in a torrent of raw emotion. Her own tears mingled with hers as she struggled to contain the turmoil raging within her. "Stop crying!" she yelled, her voice echoing off the walls of the house. "I can't take it anymore!". Tears streamed down Charlie's cheeks as she tentatively reached out to cradle Judith in her arms.

A wave of emotion crashed over her, overwhelming in its intensity, as she was pulling the baby closer to her body. The weight of the toddler against her chest, something inside him shifted. In that moment, holding her close, she felt a glimmer of peace, a sense of healing that she hadn't dared to hope for. She rocked Judith gently back and forth, both of them crying and sobbing. She didn't know why the baby was crying, but Charlie was letting go of all the pain that she felt that day. Her heart was breaking in her chest with every breath she took and needed something else to focus on.

The woman started humming the lullaby and slowly the baby in her arms started to calm down. It was a pathetic picture, her holding Judith, both red and puffy from crying, sitting on the floor in the middle of the room. However, feeling the baby, Charlie found a flicker of hope, a reason to keep fighting, to keep moving forward despite the pain. And as she pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, she vowed to never let her go again, to cherish every moment they had together in this unforgiving world. Just like she promised Lori before she died.

As Charlie sat amidst the tranquil surroundings, a stark contrast to the turmoil raging within her, she found solace in the gentle rustle of leaves and the soft whisper of the wind that was blowing her hair gently. The air was cool, carrying with it the scent of pine and earth, easing the tension in her muscles. Shafts of sunlight filtered through the trees and were painting patterns on her face. Birds were singing somewhere in the distance, creating even more picturesque scenery. Charlie closed her eyes as for a brief moment, the world seemed to stand still.

It was the moment she decided to leave the old life behind as it would never comeback. She was a new person in a new world, and it was the right moment to bury everything in the ground today. Charlie took out the photo out of her pocket in the jacket. She was carrying it with her since she left the apartment in Atlanta but never had the courage to look at it - until now.

Charlie's family stood frozen in time, their smiles capturing a moment of pure joy - which was a rare thing. In the center, her parents, their arms wrapped around each other in a tight embrace. Her mother's gentle eyes radiating warmth, while her father was standing straight, showing how proud he was.

Flanking them were her brothers: Finn, the eldest, with a mischievous glint in his eye and a ready grin on his lips; Luke, wearing similar smile as his older brother, yet, looking more serious due to the uniform; Will, the middle child, his expression rather more serious, his piercing blue eyes filled with determination; and Peete - the youngest, his face alight with youthful curiosity with warm look in his eyes.

As Charlie traced the lines of their faces with trembling fingers, a bittersweet ache welled up within her, a longing for the simplicity and innocence of days gone by.

Charlie sobbed, hugging the photo to her heart. It was a goodbye. She was alive, and she didn't want to just breathe and go on with her life. She wanted to live and be alive. And that was her sign to start a new life, away from her past mistakes. She placed the photo on the ground in a slightly dug hole, together with a knife, and then she covered it with dirt. She made a little grave for her past, wishing she could start over.

Because the past was over.

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#daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon series #daryl dixon twd #daryl dixon x reader #daryl fanfiction #daryl the walking dead #daryl twd #daryl x reader

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butchviking · 8 months

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Okay, so I saw you in my notes highlighted red by shinigami eyes and because I'm someone who understands nuance I decided to scroll through your blog to see why. Generally when I see that, I encounter people who are genuinely awful towards trans people, but you don't seem to be? At least not towards trans men... But as a trans woman, a lesbian, and a feminist, I am genuinely curious how you perceive me. Am I contradictory in my nature to you, am I wrong, am I some freak? Because I can tell we definitely disagree on things... But does your feminism include me or not? It's also interesting to me because I feel most trans people I know are feminists and believe gender is a ridiculous construct, which seems to be something you agree with. So like, what's going on here...

i don't think you're wrong. i don't think you're a freak. i don't think you're a lesbian, and i don't think a transwoman is the same thing as a woman, but i think we probably have goals in common. i definitely believe gender is a ridiculous construct, and also probably the greatest evil in the world (though race could probably be tied for that)

does feminism include transwomen is. a question i come across often but not one that really makes sense to me. i feel like it breaks down into "can a transwoman be a feminist", "does feminism focus on transwomen", and most importantly "does feminism benefit transwomen".

- anyone of any sex or gender identity can take feminist action and be part of the movement in that way. i don't really fuck w the "can [x type of person] be a feminist" discourse bc i think action is more important than identity. anyone can do feminism and have feminist values - i don't really care what they call themselves about it.

- feminism is a movement for female liberation. feminism does not focus on transwomen. i also have an interest in trans rights in general though, which transwomen are as much as focus of as transmen or trans ppl of any other identity. and i particularly have an interest in gender abolitionism, which applies to absolutely everyone but which i think would be of benefit to pretty much all gender non-conforming ppl (a group which trans ppl are obviously part of)

- i do think feminism benefits most transwomen! at least the ones who are just reguar people trying to get by in a gendered world, and definitely those who transition to socially live as and pass as women. of course, transwomen aren't going to benefit from certain aspects, like abortion rights and female healthcare. and i absolutely believe there are some transwomen who want the freedom for themselves to be able to be who they are and live how they want, but still want to retain the right of subjugation over the female sex - feminism obviously wouldn't help them with that. but feminism would definitely help, say, a transwoman who gets catcalled on the street and followed home by some creep. it'd help a transwoman who gets spoken down to by men around her, who gets knocked back from jobs or promotions in favour of men.

feminism will never focus on transwomen's specific issues - that's what trans rights movements are for, not what feminism is for - but where they are affected by misogyny they would benefit from the movement to end misogyny. and they're welcome to be part of that movement! i fully believe that trans rights and womens rights can coexist & i fully believe we have many common goals and i fully WANT trans ppl (transmen and transwomen and anyone in-between) and feminists to work together where we're aligned. on a personal level i care a lot abt both causes and on a personal level it kills me that so many ppl insist on feminism and trans activism as enemies. we're not. at least, we don't have to be. i really, really don't want us to be.

#i am always saying this but everyone listen to when i was a boy dar williams.#my entire gender philosophy can be summed up by when i was a boy dar williams i am so serious #and i say now you're top gun. i have lost and you have won. and he says oh no no but can't you see....#ask #anonymous #i rly appreciate this ask btw <3 #i am always happy 2 have discussions abt my views here nd im always glad of sincere attempts to understand

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dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram · 11 months

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The idea that people are responsible for the oppression of the state is an incredibly regressive one - that actively corrodes solidarity and increases state power. /

I understand that you were asked specifically for your thoughts on the particular twitter thread that anon shared, and that thread didn't make the point I'd like to share, but I do think it's a related, if maybe more nuanced point. I understand (and agree) that people aren't responsible for the oppression of the state, even if they oppose state repression in annoying dickhead ways. But I think there's a difference between holding someone responsible for the oppression of the state, and holding someone responsible for failing to engage with and listen to a marginalized community and then taking an action that, even if done with the best of intentions, harms that community (even if that harm comes in the form of increased state oppression). And i think that's especially true when the person is an outsider and not a part of the community in question (the white British man in Malaysia of it all doesn't help, nor does the fact that in his speech at the show he conflated being religious with being bigoted). It's my biggest problem with Matty Healy's brand of public politics, that he doesn't seem to actually listen to communities he's supposedly advocating for (especially when those communities are communities of color), and I think that failure to listen and respect does more harm to solidarity than people criticizing him on the internet.

I've thought about this anon for quite a few days - and I don't think there's a meaningful distinction - and that what you suggest is still holding people responsible for state repression. I'll explain why and then talk about some other random thoughts.

The first is that it's not possible to engage and listen with a community. A community is not a single entity talking with one voice. I was once involved in a solidarity campaign in Wellington, where there were two families of people from the place we were organising in solidarity with. They hated each other - they disagreed about everything. Sometimes it's a useful fiction that it's possible to engage with and listen to a community (in practice what that means is engaging and listening to formal and informal structures within the community or listening to individuals - or both). But it's also incredibly flattening and doesn't allow space for reality or complexity.

It would be possible for an act to have listened to queer Malaysians and still kiss on stage. Of course there's a wide range of views on queer politics in Malaysia - why wouldn't there be? (There's always been a wide range of views on queer politics everywhere else).

I think to make the idea that you're putting forward make sense, then you would have to be much more specific about what obligations people have. In this particular case (and I suspect more generally) it would very soon become clear that people could still fulfill those obligations and make out on stage.

And you are still blaming people for state repression. You're still saying that people are responsible for the actions of the state. And my politics involves holding an incredibly hard line that they're not.

*******

Another problem with this framing is that it's based on a reading of Matty's intentions that there's very little evidence for. This all hinges on an intention to advocate on behalf of another group of people. I don't think that's how he presented it. If I was asked to summarise, from what Matty said, why him and Ross made out - I'd say it was because Matty Healy was angry.

What if Ross and Matty kissed because Matty was angry - not as an act of solidarity?

*******

I also think the wider context is important. I think some of the criticisms only introduce the power dynamics of the situation when Matty Healy and Ross MacDonald kiss and disrupt the situation - even though those power dynamics always existed.

The reason that the promoter had brought them to Malaysia to play this festival was because they were a western band. They were there because of the long history of empire. They were there because of the global power dynamics. The promoter was trying to make money from that dynamic. To say that this only matters, because they were disruptive - is to I think normalise everything else that was going on.

I am influenced here, by my oft stated belief that artists only have an obligation to avoid playing in a country with a terrible government, if there has been a specific call for a boycott by an organised resistance movement.

BI'm not comfortable saying that it's OK to go and make money in a country with homophobic laws, unless you make a political statement. Or even worse - as long as you don't make out with people.

*******

The other thing I think about a lot is the context I'm writing in - as part of the One Direction fandom. We've watched Harry wave rainbow flags around the world. He's raised a rainbow flag in a country where male homosexuality was illegal. He's raised trans flags in states where terrifying attacks were made on Trans people. I don't think there's any reason to think that he ever talked to anyone locally. In the 8 years I've been here nobody has ever suggested that he should. And I really struggle to come up with a good reason why they would be different.

And I just can't emphasise enough how much I think that saying it's OK to wave a rainbow flag, but not for two men to make out, is not queer politics that I can get on board with.

*******

As is maybe clear from what I've said so far - I've realised that one of the reasons I've been uneasy with the response to what Ross and Matty did is that it fundamentally involves policing the fact that two men have kissed on stage. And I think it's impossible to do that without it being a homophobic act.

I think a discussion that I could engage with would question the political meaning of Ross and Matty making out, not the legitimacy of Ross and Matty making out.

Because a pretty fundamental belief of mine is that men who consent get to make out with each other for pretty much any reason at all, no reasons, bad reasons, and anyone who questions the legitimacy of two men making out is building a more homophobic world.

#Thanks for the question anon #as you can see it really allowed me to figure out why I was thinking what i was thinking #and I'd welcome more of your thoughts #(also you say Matty Healy's brand of public politics - and I'm not sure I would identify this as his brand of public politics #but living in the UK for a while #has given me a different set of reference points for Matty Healy's political statements #than maybe the internet discusses #so I'd be interested in knowing what else that he's done makes you think that is his brand)

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watermelonsloth · 10 months

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No, Sasuke Did A Lot Wrong

(Disclaimer: There's nothing wrong with liking Sasuke as a character or sympathizing with his backstory. I'm also not talking about all Sasuke fans, only the extreme "pro-sasuke/anti-konoha/anti-itachi" fans.)

I'm getting pretty sick of the defenses used by Sasuke fans to justify his behavior throughout shippuden. The defenses themselves are fine enough, Sasuke did have plenty of reasons for his anger and resulting actions, but his fans always seem to be trying to absolve him of blame. The worst of them even act as if you're some morally reprehensible monster if you dare say Sasuke made a lot of terrible decisions that hurt a lot of people. God help the poor soul who dares to like Itachi or Tobirama.

I'm not going to defend Konoha or their actions here and, from what I can tell, no one else is. The entire shinobi world is fucked up in a frustratingly realistic way, so it makes sense that anyone trying to do something to fix it would immediately earn audience sympathy and relatability. However, most of those characters are villains. Why? It's not because the Naruto series is pro-violence, authoritarianism, war, or complacency. It's because they're terrorists. They react to personal wrongdoing, sometimes perceived but often not, by creating violent plans that are undeniably extremist. Madara and Obito basically wanted to hard reset the world by placing everyone into an eternal genjutsu and Nagato wanted to nuke the planet every time a country asked for war until all conflict disappeared. Those are objectively bad plans that would put the world into an even worse state and I hope I don't have to explain why.

Sasuke's "revolution" was no better. As a quick reminder, these were Sasuke's plans to "fix" the shinobi world: first he wanted to destroy Konoha, then he wanted to become a tyrant over Konoha, and lastly he wanted to act as a threat so dangerous that the world was forced into cooperation to fight him off. Not one of these plans is good. All of them would catch many innocent lives in the crossfire and none of them would build a better world. The best argument to defend Sasuke's goals is "complacency to wrongdoing makes you just as guilty as the wrongdoer." Ignoring that that argument is flawed, especially in the context it would theoretically be used, that argument still wouldn't change the fact that his methods are violent and extremist.

What makes all of this worse is that Sasuke's goals are also extremely hypocritical. Tell me if this sounds familiar: to prevent future conflict, one Uchiha erases a group of people because select members of that group were a potential risk. That Uchiha, in this process, agrees to take on all responsibility for this action and all anger resulting from the fallout. Was I talking about Sasuke's initial goal to change Konoha? No, I was talking about the Uchiha Massacre. His goal to become a feared tyrant over Konoha to reform it into a more peaceful state according to his image bears a striking resemblance to Danzo Shimura, of all people. His final plan is the only one that can be considered uniquely his, but if you simplify it to its core(an individual taking the burden of all of the world's hatred onto their shoulders), then it mirrors the intention of Madara(and sort of Obito, but mostly Madara). Sasuke is repeating history by mimicking the solution that he's already experienced being in the crossfire of, the goals of a monster he scorned for his morals, and the plan he personally watched fall to pieces.

Of course, this is a post about Sasuke's actions, not the plans he never enacted. The most he could be punished for is conspiracy. So, let's talk about what he did. I'd say for all of part 1 and the start of shippuden, Sasuke's worst offense is being a bit of a snarky jackass. He wasn't cruel, he had a set of morals that he consistently held himself and others to, and he deeply cared for his friends and allies. His interactions with Itachi were upsetting, Orochimaru manipulating him was tragic, and his struggle to decide between his friends and revenge was interesting. The most morally skewed thing he did was his fight with Naruto, but even that was forgivable. The start of shippuden maintains him being mostly in the clear: he nearly kills team Yamato, he kills Orochimaru, he starts traveling with some morally questionable people(scaring the crap out of some civilians and stealing a sword in the process), and he fights and kills Itachi. Again, he's not exactly a stand up citizen, but he remains just and easily forgivable. The Five Kage Summit arc is where this changes.

After learning the truth about the Uchiha Massacre and Itachi's true role in it from Obito, the Five Kage Summit arc begins with Sasuke joining the Akatsuki(a.k.a technically a mercenary group, but better called a terrorist organization considering their, at this point known, goals). The arc is easily a shift in the story's direction(for better or worse), meaning a shift in the main characters, and easily an arc I'm going to discuss in more depth in the future. Sasuke's character shift is revealed to be downward when he and the rest of team Taka attack and "kill" Killer Bee. I don't care how much you like Sasuke or how much you agree with his anger, you cannot justify him attacking and attempting to murder someone who has done nothing but be a jinchuuriki. Soon after Sasuke's role in the attack is revealed, Karui, Omoi, and Samui leave to Konoha to tell the Hokage about the planned five kage summit and that Kumogakure is taking the responsibility of Sasuke's punishment out of Konoha's hands. This is the arc where Sasuke undeniably becomes a criminal and his crimes have victims. Say what you want about Konoha and complacency and injustice, but let's make some things clear.

Killer Bee had nothing to do with the Uchiha Massacre.

Kumogakure had nothing to do with the injustices Sasuke was fighting against.

The samurai of the Land of Iron had nothing to do with shinobi affairs.

Team Taka didn't deserve to be betrayed for being "too weak."

I didn't make this post to complain about Sasuke or make him out to be a bad character. Actually, I think he's one of the best written within the series and he's among my favorites. Sasuke is a morally complex character, a fantastic foil to Naruto, an impactful warning on what happens when someone is consumed by hatred and abandons their humanity in pursuit of their goals, and the end of his arc was really nice(until Boruto ruined it, but that's another rant for another day). I get so upset about people making Sasuke out to be an innocent or wholly justified character, not only because those same people often take an undeserved moral high ground and talk down to/shame people for having problematic favorites as if Sasuke isn't problematic, but because it doesn't give his character the credit it deserves. Sasuke is such a good character because he and his actions are imperfect. He's good because he is morally complex.

The Naruto series is about a boy who is ostracized by his home and targeted by a terrorist organization for something he has no control over. He responds to his circumstances by building connections, finding peace, and making an attempt to change both himself and the world around him rather than giving into his anger and lashing out. Naruto and many other characters struggle to maintain their humanity in a world that seeks to destroy it. Sasuke's story is not one of a tragic hero burning his perpetrators and the world that allowed them to the ground. His story is about a hurt and manipulated child abandoning more and more of his humanity under the assumption that it'll somehow help him do good in a bad world until he becomes the bad. His story ends with him confronting that humanity and coming to terms with it because there was still someone waiting for him with a hand held out.

#Anti Sasuke fandom #Anti Sasuke Uchiha fandom #I don't want to tag this anti-sasuke so...#Sasuke Uchiha #Naruto #Naruto Shippuden #I don't really care if you love or hate Sasuke #but don't condescend or harass people for having an opinion #Naruto is a shounen action series about hope stop trying to make it into a grimdark #I don't know how cohesive or readable this is since I didn't write it all in one go like my other posts #Rant #Analysis #Character analysis #sort of #kind of #my stooff

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crossdressingdeath · 3 months

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Jaheira: Drop that stone. You will want your hands free for what comes next. Kyvir: Jaheira... what are you doing? Jaheira: Congratulating you, of course. You have won Bhaal's bloody blessing. Now you think you will step out into the world, and carve your name upon it. Minsc and I, we know better. We stood here a century ago, and watched this same ceremony unfold. We stand here again to show you how it ends: With your bones rotting beneath your father's hall - your name remembered by none. Kyvir: No... Please... Minsc: Jaheira... must it truly be this way? Jaheira: This path was not of our choosing, Minsc. But we must walk it all the same. What about you? Will you protect the world from what he has become? Astarion: I really hoped we could avoid being pawns for a dark god, but here we are, I suppose. I'm with you, my dear. Wherever this leads. Jaheira: Goodbye, Bhaalspawn. Harpers, to arms. Let's defend this city as we always have. Minsc: Boo and Minsc promise to make it swift, evil.

This seems like a good moment to mention that Jaheira's AI... broke this run. So she wouldn't follow me anywhere (I had to control her instead of Kyvir to keep her with the group, otherwise she would literally just stand still where she spawned no matter what I did) and she spent this whole fight standing there doing nothing. Didn't exactly help the tone, although it did make the fight easier.

Anyway. At least with Jaheira and Minsc it's not entirely hypocritical given their history with Bhaal, but Jaheira turning to the vampire ascendant who literally yesterday brutally killed seven thousand people for personal power and openly asking to ally with that guy instead of having any faith in her friend whose literal only misstep so far that she knows of is choosing not to commit suicide by Bhaal by refusing him is still a lot. There's something so self-righteous about Jaheira when it comes to Bhaalspawn; she openly thinks Durge should have died (and she knows full well what a horrific fate they'd suffer given she knew BG2 era Sarevok) rather than obey their father because that's what her sense of morality demands, which I suppose is fair enough on some level but like... the way she doesn't respond like this to anyone else's evil deeds bothers me. I'm not exaggerating, literally yesterday (in-game) Astarion killed seven thousand people and sent their souls to Mephistopheles in a single move for personal power and all she did was grumble about how she was going to keep an eye on him, and now she's asking him to help kill Durge, who in this run only agreed to become Chosen because they knew Bhaal would immediately kill them for saying no. There are so many points in this game where it feels like Durge's actions are treated as worse than everyone else's just because they're Bhaalspawn rather than "just" a vampire spawn or a Sharran or a gith loyal to Vlaakith or what have you, but the game never really engages with that. And I guess an argument could be made that Durge as both a Bhaalspawn and Bhaal's Chosen might be uniquely susceptible to an evil god's control (I don't know what the situation is with Dark Justiciar Shadowheart re the risk of Shar taking over), but even then I'd expect the tone to be more "I'm sorry it's come to this but I have to put you down for the good of everyone including you" and less "You're an evil monster and deserve to die". I'm sure it's all much more suitably black and white if you go full "I am the Chosen of Bhaal and the world is mine for Evil Reasons", but there's something... deeply unpleasant in Durge, feeling like they had no choice but to become Bhaal's Chosen because they knew the most likely fate that would befall them if they refused, outright begging their friends not to fight them while said friends dismiss them as evil and deserving of death with at most a moment's hesitation. If you play Chosen Durge as only doing this because the alternative was death, then Jaheira's basically calling you a monster for not obediently dropping dead for The Greater Good, and the game's total failure to acknowledge that drives me nuts.

#bg3 #durge

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actualbird · 2 years

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Regarding 7-2 and Irene, I actually went to talk with a relative of mine that knows law just to see if her sentence could be mitigated based on Singapore law. I want to just say this is my interpretation of what was told to me, I could be wrong and also this isn't my own view I think Irene was completely justified.

So from what I was told there is a chance but a lot of her chances that would really help reduce her sentence have already been made impossible by her actions. Remorse is a big factor in mitigation but considering she didn't come clean until mc basically forced it out of her and she was denying having committed the murder up until then, any chance for remorse is basically gone even if she pled guilty in her own trial because in that case she's not showing remorse, she's forced to do it so she can get a lower sentence. Then of course she framed Jun, that's not doing her any favours.

What she can go for and what a good attorney would use is that she was under prolonged abuse from Edwin Burke that caused her to fear for her safety which led to her planning this whole thing out. It wouldn't excuse her framing Jun, but it'd provide an understandable reason for her actions which could get her a reduced sentence.

I get what you mean about this case not feeling fair, accusing Irene sucked a lot and I wish we could have let her go free. I like to think that mc didn't reveal her plans to defend Jun, but did it for Jade who did seem to care for Irene and didn't deserve to die. No one could tell for certain, but at least from the evidence they had, it seemed like Jade didn't deserve to die like her husband, and for that she did deserve justice. This reminded me of something from the Count of Monte Cristo itself but I'll save my Count of Monte Cristo ramblings for another ask because it'd double the length of this one dyifkh

🌌

reply from @zyphannie :

reply from @ihavenotfallenyet :

// spoilers for main story 7.2, cw abuse, irt this last response

okay im grouping this all together cuz milkyway!anon and zyphannie brought up a really key point in particular that i neglected to mention in my last response (thats what i get for writing responses at 5am, brain still dead ajhvsjfha), namely: jade burke

i agree, jade definitely did not deserve to die. she was a victim too, and im quite sure nobody with a conscience would begrudge her knowing that she was trying to defend irene as much as she could, given the abuse she also sustained.

jade's murder is.....and these are just my own personal feelings as a player and somebody who read the story, it in no way makes the "this isnt fair" feeling any lighter for me. in fact, it makes it heavier. cuz things get more complicated. which, given the story's themes actually, fits in a sense.

ive got this other 7.2 ask in my askbox that im still working on a response for, it's talking about jun's spiel when in the interrogation with him in 7.2, you pick the optional choice to press the button labelled "True Heart". and there he says a lot of stuff but something there that i feel like is among this story's main themes: people who live perpetually backed into a corner and surrounded by enemies lose the privilege of being able to trust

jun was talking about himself there, but i think it applies to irene too (ironic given that he manipulated her as well, but thats a Whole Other thing to talk about). irene spent her entire life mistreated and abused. she could not trust anybody because she was hurt so bad for so long. and in that, she didnt see that jade was trying

this is brought up a bit in mc's last convo with her in the trial. and i dont think that this oversight makes irene's actions evil (she Did Not Know and Could Not See) but it adds a layer of nuance and loops into that main theme.

it's not fair. and the judgement that got passed and that we see in the game thus far doesnt feel fair, because people were wronged in so many ways.

that being said, milkyway's addition about the legal stuffs i think can somehow answer ihavenotfallenyet's replies. i do not know Anything about law, so idk if i can add anything there, but at least there are certain legal systems that can indeed help irene out, if even just a bit.

looping back to the "it's not fair" thing, but i just remembered one thing in main story 7.2's case that did bring satisfaction: edwin's widescale abuse being brought as a transnational case for investigation. i like that they added that. the implications are fucking horrifying (based on how i read it, it implied that edwin was participating in child trafficking, jesus), but it's satisfying to know that this case doesnt end at this trial, if that makes sense? like, edwin is dead (deserved) and his abuse has seen the light of day. the other victims can get their justice too in whatever way is possible

conclusion: this case is a Lot. and honestly, thats all i feel qualified to say at the moment hakfjhsfa

#asks #tot spoilers #milkyway!anon #ihavenotfallenyet #zyphannie #cw abuse #like...it is so much a Lot. interesting on a longterm story level irt escalation and Things Will Get More Complex #but also...my god

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sevilemar · 2 years

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I got a really long ask from a nonny, and I hope it's OK that I turned it into a post to make it easier to answer.

Hello? Can I ask for a shc vibe check maybe?

You can always ask 😉. Let's see how we fare, shall we?

I think I currently realised I don't actually care about things. I have pets, and I think hurting another alive being for your sake or just pleasure is wrong, but I don't exactly want to or care to change my lifestyle for it, it had to be a conscious choice every day, every time while shopping for groceries.

Life is a lot more complicated than beliefs, and we are all negotiating these boundaries every day, in one way or another.

Also I did want to appeal to people preaching this or that thing, not that those were ever bad, it just never were mine, and those people were never around me here and now.

This has a loyalist flavour to it, basing your beliefs on the people you want to appeal to, and realising you're not much into it once they are not around anymore. Can't tell if it's snakey or badgery. Depends on if you mean groups or individual people.

What are these so called values or opinions worth if you don't see any change around you, if you're in a circle doing the same over and over again, while still having to drop even those little personal actions if the moment calls for it.

This, on the other hand, is a classic idealist crisis, I think.

I'm a follower, you know. Just get me someone to follow or protect and I'll be good.

Either a reaction secondary or a loyalist statement, if you ask me. Which you have, of course 😉 (Also, speaking from experience, not always true, even if you do think so. But that's about me, not you).

I was working today and was disgusted by myself, knowing in my heart that if something would happen, and workplace community had problems with my family members working there, if my family member would be in the wrong, I wouldn't want to stand by them by default. I would only do that with a bit of figuring out. I really wouldn't want to strand against the community for them, especially if they're on the wrong side.

The thing is, this looks like a snake's guilt when they prioritise something badgery (approval of a community) or idealistic (going with what is right vs. with their people). But there are a couple of things this can also be, depending how you look at it. First question I'd ask is where does the guilt come from? Who told you that you stand by family no matter what? Second question I'd ask is if you are a snake, would you actually consider your family members your people? Just because they're family and you live together does not automatically make them your people. You, and you alone choose who your people are, snake or no snake. And fuck anyone or anything who tells you differently.

I know they know it secretly, I also know this isn't the right choice and I should stand by them. I feel bad for both of these things,

Again, where is this belief coming from? Because this especially sounds to me like there is considerable outside pressure on you to stand by your family, and I think you need to figure out if that is something you actually agree with or not. It's OK if the answer is no, and it's also OK if the answer is yes. There is no right or wrong here, only right for you in the situation you are currently in.

having countless fights over not saying what they want or not doing something,

Sensing more outside pressure, and maybe a little bit of a lion secondary? Or those pesky 'trying to figure shit out while my hormones are going haywire and the world has gone crazy' years that don't necessarily have to do with age.

but also craving that fuck it, this is mine, you can take a walk by the River Styx for all I care snake thing. I feel really bad for being afloat and not grounded by this very thing.

Caring about things, trying to figure them out can be really fucking frustrating and exhausting. Still beats running into the same wall over and over again because you don't (or can't) even try to see what the actual problem is, in my opinion. Barely.

But I also wonder is it just them? Is it just them who thinks I have to have them as my person, and pokes me for not? I have reasons you know.

Ah, so you do ask yourself one of my question already. Awesome👍.

But probably not, I would chop heads off if they would be in the right side of the conflict to be honest, and that's not a snake answer in this context.

Has an idealistic vibe to it, yeah.

I know I burned really hard when covid hit. At that time everything in my life pointed that nothing is going to change, whatever I do it doesn't matter, I won't break out of this, I'm not that kind of person, not equipped enough. This creates a never ending cycle. This seems more secondary related,

Yes, this is secondary stuff. And burned secondary at that.

and I did drop a lot of actions I was doing for those so called values I was holding on to. I completely stopped being vegan when I made a choice to leave my so called friend and the group we were a part of after some nasty stuff. It was more important to have a nice meal when my heart was broken.

This vibes loyalist, and with the easy and accepted self care more snake than badger.

I know that saying I got convinced personaly that I will never find someone who'd choose me, love and appreciate me and the only person who really cares about me won't be there forever would be a loyalist burning thing,

Nope, I'd call this a human burning thing. Everyone can experience it, but it's idealists who will find at least some kind of solace in their ideals.

while the first one's probably kind of an idealist,

I'd say it's more burned secondary.

while these both got spread in my system and coexist intertwined, the first one hits deeper.

Maybe looking into figuring out/unburning your secondary might be worthwhile?

I do want nice stuff, nice life, I do want to learn languages, meet interesting people, have opportunities, have a fast paced life, something exciting, you know. 10, 20 years from now people will find out about Critical role or Calamity for the first time, can you imagine that? The creators made a mark and their words mattered, they had someone to listen to them, then and for some time in the future, while I'm just checking my puppy doesn't eat toy filling, which impacts their life positively and matters, but does it, really? I'm going to do that again tomorrow, as I did yesterday, and so on.

I've heard this a few times from my idealist friends, this desire to have a good life, and have it mean something in the greater scheme of things.

I guess I sound like a burned lion with some kind of burned secondary, not having a calling or what to care about,

Yeah, I'd say idealist living in a loyalist environment and having adopted a lot of their beliefs you are now questioning. And from all the grief and frustration it's causing you, I'd say you are grappling with your gut feeling about what's right and wrong, which would make you a lion, yes.

I'm getting burned secondary vibes, but I'm not so sure about burned primary. I think even lions can question and change their right and wrong without burning? Or maybe not, I honestly don't know.

I'm just checking in, cause I hate that so much and I wish I would be wrong haha.

You do realise that this is some seriously negative self-talk, right? I'm just checking, because sometimes people do not realise when they put themselves down like this, especially when accompanied with a laugh.

If I were you, I'd ask myself where this bias against lions comes from. Is it just the frustration that snakes have it so much easier, being able to trust their gut without the constant struggle? Or is it something else that makes it not OK for you to be a (burned) lion?

Don't worry about the puppy btw, I'm keeping a close eye.

I'm not worried about the puppy, I'm more worried about you, nonny. You're going through a painful process, and it doesn't sound like you have much support around you. I am a stranger on the internet, and shc is just a funny little system that sometimes let's us see important things about ourselves. Whatever support we can offer, you are welcome to it, nonny. Just promise me you'll be as kind to yourself as you can, OK?

#sortinghatchats #snake primary #lion primary #ask answers

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ppulverse · 7 months

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I agree ugh I read some stuff about it being planned but honestly I don’t know what to think :( all the false allegations… It makes me sick

I feel like it’s just the too much for me to drop a member. To me a group is a group no matter what even if i don’t condone with their actions but honestly the argument of “he is what he watches” doesn’t make sense… He should take responsibility for actually recommending it (even if he said he wouldn’t, he still has a power over kpop fans in general) this whole thing is stressing me out so so much especially as a soobrangdan.

I do believe that it was planned, otherwise it wouldn't have been brought up only now, and we have to remember that it happened right after the whole Eunchae/middle-toe thing became a huge joke rather than doing him any harm. But even if it was planned, it's still something to research and talk about.

Like I mentioned (and I keep saying this but it's something that's really stuck with me) I honestly don't think Soobin (or Woozi, Sakura and Mingi for that matter, but I don't really know much about them so idk) would openly say they're watching something that problematic when they're all members of some of the most famous kpop groups atm (three of them being under Hybe). This alone makes me think it makes sense to assume they were watching the version that was being aired in Korea, which reportedly is censored and doesn't contain any of that stuff, despite it still being a dark story with horror themes.

And if the CP really was removed from that version (assuming it's the one they've watched), then yeah... It's not enough to cancel them, even if it's a heavy story.

Of course, it's still something we need to discuss. But to be honest with you, I don't think he's gonna say anything about this. Hybe usually sweeps everything under the rug, and although I wish he'd come forward and talk about it (I genuinely feel like it would make a big difference), I don't think he will, because Hybe will probably keep him locked away for a while and that's it 🙃

#💌#anonymous

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buckymilf · 2 years

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When there's a discussion on whether Steve's ending was good or not, there's one thing that actually bothers me, and it's when people say that it was always meant to happen because it was already planned and the entirety of Steve's arc throughout the movies was purposely made to have that ending regardless. Like, that's just not true.

The creators confirmed a few times that the script for Endgame had a lot of changes and that they had different versions for the movie. I'm pretty sure that the Russos said at one point that in one of these versions Steve died during the battle and was decapitated. Steve dying was an option, and probably one that was going to follow through because it would just be easier and it wouldn't leave the public confused after previously stablishing a good and understandable enough explanation for time travel. It would also save Marvel from now having to explain what happened after Steve came back, the comment in FATWS about people believing that he's on the moon, and having to keep everything vague enough for the possibility of Evans agreeing to come back.

But the evidence of this ending definitely not being planned years before it's the movie itself. If Steve was really meant to end up with Peggy, they wouldn't need to bring her up so many times during the movie, it shouldn't be necessary to explain again and again how much she means to him, that's something that the audience should already know. When there's Civil War discourse people argue about who's right, the political perspective of Tony and Steve, whether Steve should've told Tony about his parents, or if he shouldn't have dragged the other avengers to battle, whatever, but I've never seen people question why he's so intent on defending his views and protecting Bucky from the government, because in CAFTA and CATWS the audience got to see and understand that Steve acts based on what he thinks is right and that Bucky is important to him. It's stablished, and so in Civil War people don't need flashbacks of the 40's or constant reminders to understand Steve's actions.

If Steve talked about his friends that were gone with the snap in the group therapy session, if the compass was replaced for a wrinkled photo of him with Sam and Nat or if he paid attention to SHIELD'S basement when he went to get the capsules and saw traces of Zola's work, and even then, ended up going back to the past, many more people than it did when the movie came out would get really upset about his ending. I mean, one of the main reasons why some people didn't believe the spoilers when they were leaked on Reddit was Steve's ending making no sense. Of course they had to try to make it seem like not getting to be with Peggy was Steve's biggest regret, because what the audience knew about them together was that that she was kind of the first woman that paid attention to him, she kissed him once, then told him that he had to live his life because she already had, and then enter his new love interest. If his ending was meant to be like that and was really planned in advance, we wouldn't need constant reminders of her character and their relationship, and in the previous movies it would've been clear that Steve hadn't moved on and that him being in the 21st century was still his biggest problem.

At the end of the day is media, you can like it or not, but there's no need to try to justify the way that a multimillionaire company fucks up characters' storylines and characterisation.

THIS 👆👆👆 FUCKING THIS 👆👆

you know what i think it's the sickest part? if they wanted us to belive that peggy was the most important thing in Steve's life, enough for him to comeback to the fucking segregation era, that they were always "mean to be" why would they made him kiss her niece???

it's clear that marvel just wanted the most heteronormative ending possible for the character, even if that means ruining his entire arch, beliefs, and ignore the best mcu trilogy aka the Capitan America one.

#Yes I'm STILL salty about endgame and this anon ROCKS!#anti endgame #steve rogers #steve #anti mcu #anti steggy #captain america

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miadzudza · 2 years

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Doumeki and his post-timeskip relationship with Yashiro - What's changed, what hasn't, and what will never change

My focus of attention has always been Yashiro, but I've been gathering my thoughts on Doumeki these days... He's very interesting for analysis now and unfairly neglected by me. This evolvement actually gave him way more dimension, made him more engaging for readers like me. So I want to give my opinion on his present persona. Specifically, to address the dilemma about his cold demeanor: when he is acting, when he is not, what's changed and why. Of course, these are all just my personal thoughts, and might change as the story progresses and when we get some insight into his inner world...

This is a lengthy analysis, so I'll put the rest of the text under the cut (hopefully I've learned how to do that - we'll see :D)

I think most of us agree Doumeki's feelings haven't changed. Doumeki was mesmerized by Yashiro, borderline obsessed. He would've done anything for Yashiro (understandably - the guy is irresistible). But more than that, love for Yashiro gave meaning to Doumeki's existence: a passion for life and a reason to live, which he had fundamentally lacked before. He dedicated his life to Yashiro, because, without him, Doumeki would've been ripped of a meaning again. So he stayed in Yakuza, motivated only by the slim possibility of (maybe, someday, somehow) their paths crossing again. Yashiro wanted Doumeki to fly away and be free... but Doumeki can never be free, not while Yashiro is trapped. I've never thought their attachment to one another was healthy, but it was romantic to the bone. They simultaneously fixed and broke one other, touching each other's souls in a way that leaves lifetime consequences. They were literary created to be perfect for each other (that's canon), so yes, Doumeki's love is something that hasn't and will never change.

A big part of Doumeki's demeanor is not an act, not in essence. Sometimes, it's a safe representation of his accumulated hurt feelings. For example: "So you remember me, Kashira." or "You'd still do it with anyone". Those words reveal which Yashiro's actions hurt Doumeki. Doumeki also finds it important to emphasize that he's not Yashiro's little bird anymore. He's an independent, grown man. Now - they're equals: "I'm not your subordinate anymore (you can't kick me out)", "It’s my time and my body." (my love to take me where it wants). He's not reluctant to take actions, confront or provoke Yashiro: "Can you do it with me then? (See? I can even do it your way! Or maybe I still mean something to you, so you can't?)"

When is he saying the opposite of what he feels? Well, he conceals his feelings all the time and does a lot of damage control. For example, when he explained why he knocked out Kido: "No, I'm not furious because he spat in the face of the man I love right in front of me... I'm just doing it 'cause I'm Darkmeki!". In the bathroom scene: "No, I'm not impatient to see you naked, and it's not like I want to start a conversation because I'm interested in you and wanna learn where you stand now after four years of not seeing you... I'm just doing my duty, being a good host and... guarding... something... that I can't guard by the door outside the room." That whole conversation at the end of chapter 46 is a mess. Here is how I would translate his words: "it's not like I'm dying to touch you again after four years - even if it has to be like this - and it's not like that is the only thing I think about every time when I'm alone... I just want to take care of your needs, so you wouldn't compromise my business. It's not like the way Inami made you scream four years ago, still haunts me in my dreams or something. And no, my blood is not boiling at the mere thought of other men touching you and hurting you in my proximity... I just want to be your sole sexual partner because it makes total sense that your sex life would somehow seriously ruin my group's business." Yeah, Yashiro bought that. When Doumeki turns away from Yashiro after having a tense confrontation, he sometimes takes a moment to consolidate. But whenever Yashiro can see him - mask is on. Often, he's conveniently drawn in a way that prevents even us the readers to see his face in especially critical moments.

I won't talk much about the woman. I still like artemisrisen's theory quite a bit. I definitely think Doumeki's involvement with the woman is some kind of ruse, although I'm not opposed to the idea of him having a sexual relationship. After all, Doumeki thinks Yashiro is having sex left and right, so why not him? That would actually be more interesting. It's just... the way this is set up is way too suspicious. Something is not quite right. Regardless of the nature of their relationship and Doumeki's motivations, I guess her main purpose will be to ignite Yashiro's jealousy and bring him to the edge faster. One part of Yashiro probably deludes himself that Doumeki having a woman is good for him. Maybe even Doumeki thinks so. After all, these kinds of things help Yashiro stay a "bystander". But Yashiro could've never maintained that position with Doumeki successfully, and now It's practically impossible. He will soon realize how much Doumeki being involved with a woman just... really, deeply, uncontrollably, indisputably, unbearably hurts him.

Even though Doumeki seems to have mastered the art of concealing his feelings, his honesty and concern sometimes get through. In small things, like how he grabs and holds Yashiro in the bathroom, asking him if he's alright. Or when faced with greater danger. I believe the main reason he drove Yashiro home was because he was upset at the prospect of Yashiro getting involved in a dangerous feud between families. It wasn't very smart of Doumeki to confront him directly (because when has Yashiro ever valued his life? Danger will only make him want to stay and protect Doumeki). Nevertheless, I believe he didn't plan to push boundaries that night. Inami made him lose control for a second. Just like back at Tsukanawa's. Blinded with jealousy, anger, weird mix of possessiveness and protectiveness... and moments after he became aware that Yashiro wants something from him - yet flees (as always) - he made a move. That was a slip of his mask. But what was the worst that could happen? Yashiro to disappear from his life again? Maybe it's better for Yashiro to go away, a dangerous yakuza war is approaching.

Doumeki's detachment during intimate moments is absolutely deliberate. He's NOT doing it to hurt Yashiro's feelings, he's not doing it because his own feelings have changed, or because he has a girlfriend now. On the contrary. Doumeki knows he hurt Yashiro when he made love to him four years ago. Yashiro cried, and Doumeki looked at him and saw his sister. That made him feel like his worst fear (becoming like his father) came true, and it caused immense guilt and regret. Yashiro fled. Later, when they reunited, Doumeki promised not to touch him again. He wasn't able to figure out the problem, until he had that enlightening conversation with Nanahara on the roof. So... he shouldn't have forced intimacy on Yashiro. He shouldn't have lost control over his feelings. He had four years to drown in his guilt. He still doesn't know how deeply Yashiro was affected. That night of shared love absolutely destroyed everything that made Yashiro survive his formative years, subsequently making Yashiro unable to maintain his protective behavior successfully (so: impotence, engaging in retraumatizing sex - I've talked about it in my previous posts). Yashiro did hurt Doumeki - he shot the guy, went to a suicide mission right after Doumeki spilled his heart out to him, then he pretended not to remember him - but if we combine all the extreme measures Yashiro took to push Doumeki away, I don't think it would ever even come close to the pain Doumeki (unintentionally, but still) caused Yashiro the night they made love. He doesn't want to hurt him like that ever again.

So yes, Doumeki is cold and distant, cautious and calculating. He's still not aware of Yashiro's emotional progress. All he knows is that Yashiro can't deal with feelings. He thinks nothing has changed. From Doumeki's point of view, everyone can have Yashiro more than him. So he shows Yashiro he can be safe too, his feelings are no longer a danger. When Doumeki started to undress him, Yashiro said the same thing he always says: "Just get done with it quickly". One unexpected (and maybe slightly worrisome) side effect of Doumeki's emotional blockage, is that it partly crippled his intuition. Yashiro is in a very fragile state of mind, his act is not impeccable anymore; he sometimes looks so vulnerable in front of Doumeki, but I'm not sure Doumeki notices. It seems like metaphorical "gloves" Doumeki wears, block the touch both ways. He looks determined to maintain the distance at any cost.

Even if Doumeki knew the truth (that Yashiro loves him and is coming to terms with his feelings; that he's starting to crave gentle touch; that he now dreams about kissing Doumeki; that Doumeki is the only person on Earth who Yashiro wants and who can please him at this moment) I don't think for a second that it would solve all their problems. Yashiro's struggle with love and intimacy will probably continue for a long time. He'll occasionally want to flee, provoke, challenge, push away. Four years weren't enough to annul previous thirty-six years (as we can see, Yashiro still can't quite break the damaging pattern of behavior - despite his realization, he's still engaging in violent sex), and these few days will certainly not be enough to magically erase the previous forty years. I'm doubtful Yashiro is ready for Doumeki's pre-timeskip level of affection, but he could be ready for a slightly different approach. The problem is, these two people never knew how to communicate properly, and I don't see that problem magically disappearing either. I think Yashiro is destined to lose control and fall apart at one moment, be crushed with his pain and all sorts of uncontrolled feelings. It can't be avoded, it's just a matter of time and circumstances. I hope Doumeki will be there to embrace him when it happens.

There is definitely a part of Doumeki that's changed on a deeper level. He's matured, toughened up. He faced his fears, lived through his pain, reached his hell and rose up stronger. He gained agency and independency Yashiro always wanted him to have. He's focused, resourceful, strategic. No one will ever say he's not fit for this world again, because he's learned to adapt really damn well. He displayed an outstanding will power (being one of those people who underestimated him, I'm actually impressed). But I think his core is the same. And he's undoubtedly still powered by love. So, in the end, both Tsukanawa and Yashiro were right: there are parts of people that change, and unchangeable parts we're predisposed to (nature vs. nurture debate is never-ending). We sometimes get a glimpse of Doumeki Yashiro loves; for example, when he's texting with the little girl he saved, being as sweet as a cuddly dog. That is a part of him he chooses not to make so prominent now.

Doumeki was never one-dimensional. He was never all sweetness, goodness and naivety - Yashiro idealized him. Which is strange to me... Yashiro saw Aoi receiving some pretty cold treatment at that time. Doumeki rejected his family, hurt his mother and sister immensely. He ignored Aoi for years, despite being aware of her worsening mental health. He was capable to inflict serious, life-threatening bodily injuries to people, without a second thought. In his relationship with Yashiro, he was pushy, often forceful in his displays of affection. He never knew how to respect boundaries. It doesn't matter if the breach was gentle or rough, lack of consent was undeniable. Yashiro repeatedly made a point of how Doumeki shouldn't idealize and romanticize him, while he at the same time kept idealizing Doumeki, staying blind to Doumeki's own inner darkness and underestimating his potential. In the end, I think, it was Yashiro who fell in love with an idealized version of Doumeki, much more than the opposite. Yashiro's emotional development was badly compromised, so it makes sense that the way he falls in love is immature. Part of it was Doumeki's fault, though. Even then, he was intentionally hiding parts of himself. His manipulation was far less skillful, everything was showing on his face (Yashiro probably didn't see it only because he didn't want to), but this time he's doing it so well that even we, the readers, are left to wonder. Both Kamiya and Yashiro said in front of him that yakuza are like actors, and Doumeki seems like he's learned just how to be one - an excellent one.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #saezuru meta #saezuru analysis #character analysis #doumeki x yashiro #doumeki #doumeki chikara #yashiro #saezuru #saezuru spoilers #囀る鳥は羽ばたかない

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