#YOU WANT SO BADLY TO GO RIGHT YOU AND LENORE NEED TO GET ON THE SAME PAGE BECAUSE YOU’RE SABATOGING YOURSELF | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ratchedspeach · 3 years

Text

Upward Over the Mountains - Chapter 1 | READ ON AO3

my long promised college Mildolyn au!!! Enjoy!!

September, 1929

Mildred Ratched stroked her thumb absently against the corner of her suitcase. She recited and re-recited the list of its contents in her head.

Underwear: check.

Toothbrush: check.

Socks: check.

Hairbrush: …

Mildred stuttered, thumb stilling against the cool metal of the latch. A hairbrush, how could she have forgotten a hairbrush? Her cheeks warmed. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She turned her gaze out the window once more, watched the trees roll across mountains and stretch for miles on either side of her. It was enough to swallow her whole. From her vantage on the highway, Mildred wondered if this was what it was like to be sailing; the ocean splayed and smooth below a hull of oak or cedar, the scent of salt and wind. Only here, the air smelled of sweet dirt and rot, and there was no wood beneath her feet: only the faded carpet of her taxi. Still, the trees persisted like the uneven sightline of waves crashing. Only, here, there were shades of pale yellow and vibrant orange and deep clay, not greens and greys as she imagined water might look.

“Should be just off this next exit, Miss.” The cab driver - a gruff looking man with a thick mustache and beat up cap - grunted, and Mildred felt the car veer towards the right.

Mildred squeaked out a meager “thank you”, her voice barely coming as a whisper against the dryness of her throat. She checked her watch; they had been driving for well over two hours now, much to the begrudge of her driver, who had been none-so-pleased picking her up from the GreyHound bus stop. Mildred’s chest tightened when she thought of the way his gnarled features pulled into a frown, how he had muttered as he helped her load the cardboard box which contained the rest of her belongings into the back of his trunk, and rolled her eyes when she asked if she could perhaps keep the items up with her. She rolled her neck. It would be good to get out of the car, she decided.

She was right, of course.

Once stopped, the campus of Bennington College was all greens and yellows and browns. A large brick building stretched beyond a field already bustling with incoming students. A lake nestled between dormitories, and somewhere in the distance, Mildred could see smoke from a chimney. She inhaled the electricity crackling off of those who she would soon call her classmates. She paid the taxi driver, and thanked him. He, in turn, dropped the box with her belongings onto the sidewalk before speeding away.

Now what?

Mildred couldn’t be sure. Signs were planted firmly into the grass around her - some directed towards registration for freshmen, some held the names of dormitories, some merely boasted welcome! In cheery gold letters. Mildred followed the first of them, finding herself in front of a table lined with young women checking names off of lists and pointing in different directions.

After waiting her turn, Mildred found herself greeted by a pink-cheeked girl with curls and spectacles hanging against her nose. She asked for Mildred’s name, which Mildred gave.

“Ratched, Mildred.”

The girl glanced up at her, her pale eyes taking stock of Mildred almost hungrily. Her gaze landed on the cardboard box clutched in Mildred’s arms.

“Oh honey, is that all you’ve brought with you?”

Mildred’s cheeks warmed, and she suddenly wanted very badly to be anywhere but here. Still, she nodded, and asked weakly for her dorm assignment.

“You’ll be in the Barnes Houses. Gosh, you’re lucky! Those are some of the biggest rooms.” The girl gushed, then added after a moment: “not that you’ll need all that space.”

Mildred clung to her box like a life raft. She thanked the girl, and spun on her heels. Somewhere behind her, she heard the girl shout “welcome to Bennington!”, but she didn’t turn to acknowledge it.

Mildred couldn’t believe her eyes when she finally swung the door open to her room. It wasn’t just spacious, it was … god, it was huge; bigger than any space Mildred had ever called her own before. Two beds tucked into opposite corners of the room, each against a window which let in bright Vermont sky. Mildred noted that one of the beds was already half set up - a set of pale blue sheets and pillows strewn across it. Not that Mildred minded; if anything, it took the pressure off her when it came to choosing a bed. She dropped the box onto the spring mattress, the contents jostling ever so slightly at the disruption.

“Oh good, you’re here!” Mildred heard from behind her, whipping around to see a bright, blonde girl with pale blue eyes and thin lips. She was holding a succulent between her slender fingers, and a smile lifted her cheeks. She was distinctly pretty, in a jade green dress and penny loafers. Mildred found herself suddenly embarrassed of her simple skirt and brown cardigan.

“I’m Lenore - Lenore Osgood.” The girl greeted, sticking her hand out for Mildred to shake.

“Mildred Ratched.” She greeted, trying to match the levity of her new roomemate’s smile, but managing no more than a grimace.

Lenore took her hand and shook it jovially, a single finger pressing into the hollow of Mildred’s palm.

“Well, I guess we’re living together, then. I’ve never had a roommate before, being an only child and all. Oh, don’t worry, I’m terribly clean, and I don’t tend to make much noise. Well, I’ve been told that sometimes I talk in my sleep, but you can’t hardly hold that against me, being unconscious and all.” Mildred felt dizzy. Lenore looked past her, brow furrowing the pale skin of her forehead. “Is that all you’ve brought with you?”

Mildred swallowed. Her dark eyes glazed, and she nodded slowly. Lenore simply shrugged.

“Well, I was going to offer to help you unpack, but it doesn’t seem it’ll take you very long. Gosh, you should have seen my parent’s car; we could barely fit me in the back seat. Your parent’s must be awfully proud to have a daughter so sufficient at packing. Are they here?”

Mildred’s stomach twisted, and she exhaled too quickly. “Oh, um, no they … well … they’re just …”

“Gosh, you’re a nervous thing, aren’t you?” Lenore queried a smile.

“I …”

“Relax, Millie - can I call you that? - I’m only teasing you.” Lenore turned and began busying herself with breaking down boxes and putting the finishing touches on her bed. “Well, anyway, my parents went to the cafeteria to try and rustle up something edible. I’ve heard the food here isn’t too bad, although I bet it doesn’t hold a candle to a home cooked meal, don’t you think?”

Mildred swallowed and nodded. Gosh, could she talk. Mildred decided that she liked it - liked her. Lenore wasn’t mean-spirited or jaded, wasn’t timid or prim. Lenore was the opposite of Mildred in so many ways, and it swallowed her whole, made her feel normal. Yes, Mildred thought, they would get along rather nicely.

“Oh gosh, is that the time already?” Lenore pulled her from her thoughts, blue eyes bulging at her watch. She reached for Mildred’s hand: “c’mon, we’ll be late for orientation!”

Mildred followed the blonde in a daze, letting Lenore drag her through the door and down the hall. A crowd had already formed outside of other first years. Beyond them there was a line of women in white sweatshirts with BENINGTON printed across them in red collegiate letters.

“Alright, ladies, settle down!” One of them, a short girl with a northern accent and dark bangs clamored above the crowd. The chatter dissipated, leaving a nervous hum of energy and anticipation in its wake. “My name is Betsy Bucket, and I’m a junior. If I call your name, you’ll be breaking off with me. The rest of you will be split between the lovely women on either side of me.” She gestured swiftly to seven other girls.

Betsy began reading from a list; mispronouncing names with little regard as she went. By the end, she had a crew of about thirty girls, one of which was Lenore. Two more girls read off lists, and Mildred felt her heart plummet a little deeper into her stomach everytime her name was not chosen. And then the fourth girl: strawberry blonde with full cheeks, stalky and glowing against the collegiate background stepped forward. Feeling her tongue too large for her mouth suddenly, Mildred let the muscle dart across her upper lip.

“... Mildred Ratched!”

Mildred’s body lurched forward before her brain could react to what was happening. She found herself in the shadow of the girl, who nodded and smiled at her with deep azure eyes, and continued on with her list. Ten names later, she led them to the shade of a tree away from the crowd, and had them sit in a circle. Mildred found herself sandwiched between a bulky girl with thick glasses and a thicker lisp, and their orientation leader. Once seated, Mildred noticed that she smelled of lavender and oak, and she was the only one amongst them to wear pants. The sleeves of her sweatshirt were bunched, revealing the slender muscle of her forearms. She had strong, distinct hands, and Mildred could sense an heir of cockiness floating off of her. Mildred thought it suited her.

“Alright ladies, welcome.” Her voice was lighter than Mildred had expected - its cadence higher, like wind chimes. “My name is Gwendolyn Briggs. I’m a senior here at Bennington. My favorite color is red, and this summer I hiked the Appalachian Trail.” A murmur went through the circle. Gwendolyn nodded towards Mildred: “alright, now you.”

Mildred’s cheeks flushed. “Oh, um …” she cleared her throat, which was suddenly very dry indeed, “M-my name is Mildred Ratched. I’m .. well … a freshman.” A few snickers. “My favorite color … I’m not sure I have one. Green, maybe? This summer I …” Mildred panicked, her breathing rising into her chest and twisting painfully. Think, Mildred, think! “I um … I worked at an ice cream parlor.”

The crowd mumbled a hello to her, but Mildred could hardly hear it over the roar of blood rushing through her ears. Her dark eyes flicked to Gwendolyn, and she found the girl looking at her as though she could see all the way through to her skeleton. Mildred’s neck burned under her gaze, and she averted her own back to her palms.

The rest of the circle rattled on - about twenty five girls in total listing a myriad of colors and summer activities. Gwendolyn seemed not to notice, for every time Mildred had a chance to glance up at her, she caught icy blue eyes on her flesh, and her stomach reeled all over.

From that first circle, Mildred would fall further and further back into the crowd as Gwendolyn gestured to buildings, explained how cafeteria hours worked, and when the library was open, and when curfew was.

“Alright, that’s all for today. Meet me back at the commons tomorrow at 11 am sharp. Don’t forget my face!” Gwendolyn joked as she dismissed the gaggle of girls. “Mildred, a moment?”

Mildred practically tripped over her own legs in her rush to meet her. She loomed over Mildred in height, and Mildred found herself craning her neck to meet her eyes.

“I was warned about the … circumstances of how you came to Bennington.” Mildred’s breath caught. No, no, no. This was it: the thing she had been dreading. This was the beginning and the end of her social life. It had to be. Mildred’s gaze cast down to her worn shoes, air neither entered nor left her lungs, and her head spun and then -

A gentle hand landed on her shoulder. Mildred flinched, but the hand persisted.

“I just wanted to offer my assistance however I can. I know how hard it can be to feel like an outsider. I’d like to be an ally to you, if you’ll let me.”

Slowly, hesitantly, Mildred’s gaze lifted once more. And Gwendolyn, for her part, smiled; a warm, honest thing. And then Mildred was smiling too.

“Thank you.” She breathed.

Gwen just shrugged: “go on, then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Mildred turned on autopilot. She could feel the thrum of her pulse where Gwendolyn’s hand once was.

“Oh, and Mildred?” Mildred peeked over her shoulder. “It’s nice to meet you.” Gwendolyn winked.

Mildred’s lips parted slightly. She had half a mind to say something in response, but Gwendolyn was already sauntering off to a group of older girls, and what could she say anyhow? It’s nice to meet you, too? You hardly even know me? No, none of that would do. With her head down, she trudged back to her dorm.

Lenore wasted no time in purging the events of her day: what Betsy studied, the other girls she’d met, what she thought of campus. “It’s wonderful, don’t you think it’s wonderful?” She cheered, flopping onto her back in an exhausted flourish.

Mildred perched on the corner of her still unmade bed. She nodded (not that Lenore could see).

“Yes,” Mildred breathed, “wonderful.”

63 notes · View notes

binniebutter · 3 years

Text

Under The Wisteria

Pairing: Choi Soobin x fem!reader

Genre: Angst Angst Angst; fluff ig, dystopian au

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: violence, gun violence, blood, major character death, I think that’s all

Summary: You just wanted to be with him forever, but you didn’t mean under the Wisteria tree.

Credit: beta read by @nottodayjjk and @inmyfelix from @txtarcadianet. Thanks so much babes!

a/n: I messed up the tags so I deleted and now I’m posting again🥲 but yea this is a birthday gift for @unlocktxt also i can’t write kissing scenes don’t make fun of me.

“Happy birthday to you,” you jumped in your seat a little, startled by your friend’s mom’s sudden singing, “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Y/n, happy birthday to youuuuu.” She walked into the dining room with a single vanilla cupcake in her hands, a candle sporting the number 18 on top. There was no icing or sprinkles on the cupcake yet it still looked ravishing to you. The government only allowed for sweets on special occasions, like birthdays or weddings, and even then it could only be so many calories. This was the government's way of getting rid of obesity in Lamore, along with other, harsher, methods.

“Thank you, Mrs. Johnson. It means so much to me.” You looked up at her and could see the sparkles in her eyes. That was one thing you loved about Mrs. Johnson, she always had sparkles in her eyes and a positive outlook on this fucked-up place we call Earth. Even after the incident…

“Oh dear, it was my pleasure! And how many times have I told you to call me mom, darling?” A lot. Almost every day, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do that. Every time you looked at her, you not only saw the sparkles, but you also saw her.

Amelia.

You see, Amelia was your best friend. You had known her since you were 3. You guys did everything together, homework, parties, shopping. Everything. Your families were also close to each other. So close that she called your mom “mama” and you called her mom “mom”. You loved each other dearly and made a promise to be best friends forever, always wearing promise rings on your pinkies. Until one fateful day. It had been all your fault. You wanted ice cream so badly that day, even though you knew that you could only have it on your birthday. You didn’t care though, begging your mother, who had taken Amelia and yourself to the park that day, to get some from the vendor.

“Please, mom. Please please please with a cherry on top,” you pleaded with your hands clasped in front of you. “Please it’s so hot I could melt. You wouldn’t want your only daughter to melt, do you?”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not my only daughter. I have Amelia too,” your mom childishly stuck out her tongue at you, causing you to look at your best friend with a pout on your face. Immediately, Amelia knew what to do.

“But mama, I want some ice cream too,” she said with a pout that you knew your mother couldn’t resist. And you were right because her resolve started wavering and soon the three of you were heading towards the ice cream vendor located in the middle of the park.

“Hello, sir. Three ice creams, please!” The man at the stand eyed you skeptically before asking who’s birthday it was. You replied before your mother could even open her mouth.

“Mine! Can I please have a cookie and cream ice cream with a waffle cone?” The man had seen how enthusiastic you were and assumed you weren’t lying. After hearing Amelia and your mother’s orders, he immediately got to work and soon enough you were walking away from him, licking your ice cream.

“Come on, Amelia, let’s go to the swings! Last one there is a rotten egg,” you took off towards the swings, leaving Amelia shouting about how you had cheated. Once you both got there, you sat right beside each other, kicking your legs back and forth while gossiping about some boys in your class. In the middle of you telling a story about one dude, a little girl about 5 years old came up to you two asking if it was one of your birthdays. You both had forgotten all about the Capitol rules and answered her truthfully, no.

“Oh, ok,” she bid you goodbye and ran away. You turned back to Amelia and shrugged your shoulders, going back to your story. You both were so absorbed in the story that you didn’t notice the little girl, or what you thought was a little girl, going to tell her mother. But one person did notice, your mom. She saw the tattoo on the girl’s arm and immediately knew who, what, she was. A spy for the Capitol.

Immediately, your mother made her way over to the two of you, telling you that it was time to leave. You should've listened to her. Instead, you were your stubborn self and insisted that you stay a little longer. Amelia had always been the more obedient one out of the two of you and seeing how urgent your mother was on getting you to leave, tried to convince you. Again, you should’ve listened to her. But you didn’t.

“Excuse me,” a voice sounded from behind your mom and you saw her face become as pale as a ghost. She turned around and was immediately tased. Her body convulsed on the floor for a few seconds before she stilled on the grass. You screamed in shock, drawing the attention of the other park users. Amelia grabbed your hand in fear, too scared to do anything. You squeezed her hand to comfort her but she could tell that you were just as scared. The woman stepped over your mother’s body and took a step towards the two of you, which in return to you took a step backward.

“Now, which one of you lied, and said it was their birthday? You both should know that Lenore doesn’t allow liars here,” she had a smile on her face the whole time she was speaking, but instead of comforting you, it terrified you. After a few moments of silence, her smile dropped into a scowl. “Well,” she barked at you causing you to shrink in fear, “Who was it? Or am I going to have to punish both of you?” Your eyes widened in shock. Both of us. You couldn’t let Amelia get hurt. Little did you know, Amellia had the same thoughts. And so before you opened your mouth, she spoke.

“Me, ma’am. It was me.” Although her voice was quiet, you could hear the firmness in it.

“What!?!? Amelia, no!” But alas it was too late. She had been tased the moment the words had left her mouth. You watched in horror as your best friend fell limp on the grass. You couldn’t scream. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t even cry as you watched her eyes roll to the back of her head. Even after the cleanup crew came to take their bodies away, you were still standing in the same spot, looking at the place where your mother and best friend had just been. You didn’t want to believe they were gone. They couldn’t be. It wasn’t until you felt arms wrap around you and bring you into an embrace did you break down. Your mother and your best friend, your platonic soulmate, the only one who knows you better than yourself, were gone. You sobbed and sobbed into the person’s shirt. You couldn’t care less that they were a stranger, you needed someone. After you calmed down you looked up at your savior for the first time. It was a boy around your age, maybe a few years older.

“Thank you,” you paused, feeling silly for not even knowing his name.

“Soobin, Choi Soobin,” he answered with a small smile on his face. “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you.”

“Forever?” you asked with a small sniffle.

“Forever.”

You met Choi Soobin when you were 10 years old.

After you finished celebrating with Mrs. Johnson, which consisted of splitting the cupcake in half and opening the gift she got you, a brand new pair of workout sneakers, you both headed up to your rooms. It was almost curfew time and you knew the Capitol Workers were making their way around for nightly checks. You remembered reading in a history book, that somehow was missed when all the books of the past were burned, that curfew back then was way different and that not everyone had a curfew. The person with a curfew just had to be home by that time. No random stranger was coming into your room to see if you were sleeping. How lucky.

You tensed up as you heard the front door open. He’s here. You didn’t know your Capitol Worker well. You didn’t even know what he looked like. All you knew was that he’s a guy and he comes to your room every night to check if you’re asleep.

You closed your eyes and willed your heart to slow down to a normal pace. Your room door opened and you could hear the heavy sound of the combat boots that all CW’s were forced to wear. They took a few steps toward you, which was unusual, and you held your breath. This is it. I’m gonna die. They’re gonna know that I’m faking-

You paused in your thoughts at the sound of the boots walking towards the door and it being closed. You let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“Jesus, that was scary,” you muttered, still scared of them hearing you. You continued to lay in bed even after you heard the front door shut. After waiting a few more minutes, you got up and headed towards your closet. You put on some dark clothing before grabbing your backpack and heading to your window. Looking out the window carefully, you saw the CW’s moving on to the next street.

“Perfect.” You opened up your window and stuck a leg out. You shivered a little bit as it was chilly out. With one hand still holding your window you pulled your other leg outside, now sitting on the sill. With your other hand, you reached for the closest branch of the cherry blossom tree in your backyard. Using the hand still on the window, you closed it shut, making sure the sound wasn’t loud. Now you were dangling from the tree. Expertly, you swung yourself up onto the branch, having done this a million times before. Once on the tree, you were able to climb down safely, without being seen. Great. Looking left and right, making sure no one saw you, you headed down the pathway that you’ve traveled frequently. The pathway to the love of your life.

Who, you may ask. Well, none other than your savior.

“Hey Y/n,” you didn’t let him finish as you engulfed him in a big hug. You didn’t let go for a while, squeezing him so tight he almost couldn’t breathe. You hugged him as if it was your last hug and Soobin was rapidly getting worried that it might be. You could feel his heartbeat increase and pulled away slightly to reassure him.

“I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong, I just missed you.” At your words, Soobin calmed down and a shy smile overtook his face. You smiled widely at his shyness. He’s so cute!

“Babe, we saw each other today at school.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same and you know it. We’re not allowed to hug each other or kiss each other.” A devilish smirk appeared on your face as an idea popped into your head. “Like this!” You cupped Soobin’s face in your hands and brought it to yours, leaving a quick peck on his lips. You laughed at the shocked expression on his face.

Anyone who knew Soobin knew that he was timid. He didn’t speak a lot in school unless he was called on. He sat by himself during lunch, which worried you a little because you didn’t want him to be lonely, but anytime you expressed your concerns he reassured you that he likes the quietness. Which usually wouldn’t soothe your worries, but Soobin is different when with you.

With you, he talks exceedingly, maybe too much if you were being honest. With you, he wasn’t afraid to laugh his boisterous laugh. With you, he could be himself and he was grateful to you for that.

“Yah! You can’t just d-do that!” Even though it was dark and you couldn’t see it, you knew that there was a bright blush on Soobin’s face.

“Why? Aren’t I your girlfriend?” you teased. You loved teasing Soobin. It was your favorite pastime. Though at your words, you could feel the mood change. It was like a breeze came by and took away the lightness of your banter.

“But you aren’t.” The street lamp cast a light on his face for a moment and you could see the sadness etched on his face. He was right. You weren’t his girlfriend, not technically. The government has this rule that no one is allowed to date until they are 30. Apparently, it deals with overpopulation. Man, fuck The Capitol.

“Y-yeah. You’re right. I’m sorry,” you said looking at your feet. Soobin looked at you with sad eyes. He hated seeing you like this which is why when the two of you met up, you never talked about this. But it was bound to come up sooner or later. He lifted your chin with his thumb and index finger, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

“I love you. Let’s not talk about this tonight. It’s your birthday!” He placed a kiss on your forehead, then your cheeks, which were blushing red at his affection, one on your nose, and lastly he placed a passionate kiss on your lips. You immediately kissed back, shocked.

It was different, not like the small pecks the two of you share. It lasted longer and you could feel all the emotions that he was trying to convey in the kiss. You closed your eyes and deepened the kiss, hoping to show him how much you loved him. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you more into him. When your lungs felt as if they were to collapse if you didn’t stop, you pulled away, a daze in your eyes. Looking at Soobin, you saw his usual small, crooked smile on his face.

“Happy birthday, love. Forever?”

“Forever.”

“What if we run away?”

It’s been about a month since your birthday and currently, you have your head in Soobin’s lap, gazing up at him. He has his back resting on the wisteria tree behind him, a book in one hand while the other runs through your hair. His big, round glasses are adorned on the bridge of his nose, sliding down every few seconds. His blue bangs are covering his eyes today, not gelled back like usual. He looks like an idol Harry Potter adorable, you think. He should leave his hair down more often. It’s when he moves his hand from your hair to turn the page that you pop the question, causing him to stop and freeze.

“W-what?” he asks while looking down at you. His head is tilted, almost as if he didn’t hear you properly. But he did. And you know that. “Y-you want us to r-run away!?”

“Ok, I know it sounds crazy but we both love each other dearly, right?” He nods and you continue. “And it’s not like we have anything here weighing us down. Plus this country is horrible. I hate it and so do you. So let’s just leave. We can go to Averna, rent a home, start a family, grow old together.” Your voice slows down and you start sounding less sure of yourself once you see the look on Soobin’s face. “Do you not want that…”

“Of course I want that!” You flinch a little at the sound of his voice. In all of the 8 years that you’ve known Soobin, he has never raised his voice at you. Seeing your flinch, he lowers his volume. “Of course, I do Y/n, but how are we supposed to run away? There’s a tracker in our necks. The only reason we haven’t been tracked yet is cause they think we’re sleeping. If we leave, someone will report it. They could easily find us and bring us back….or worse.”

You know what he means by worse. The Capitol hates when citizens break the rules. You’ll end up the same as Amelia and your mother. You shudder at the memory of their limp bodies being carried off the grass. You push those thoughts to the back of your head as you open your mouth to speak again but you are cut off.

“No, Y/n, I’m serious. We are not running away. We’ll be killed. And what about Mrs. Johnson, huh? Do you really want her to lose another daughter?”

His words hit you hard. You look at him like a gaping fish, opening your mouth repeatedly but words never come out. He is right, of course, he is right. But you had always been the stubborn one.

“I DON’T CARE, SOOBIN!” Now he is the one to flinch back in shock. “I am tired of living in this terrible place, aren’t you? We’re treated like crap here, having to follow all these stupid rules. I wanna be able to eat candy whenever I want. I wanna be able to go out at night without having to be sneaky. I want to marry you, Soobin, before I turn freaking 30. And I can’t get any of these in Lamore. So let’s leave. Please,” you beg. You thought your words would be all that was needed to convince Soobin but you are wrong.

“Y/n. I love you so much. But I can’t do this, I can’t allow you to do this. We can’t. They’ll kill us once they find us and-”

“I’m going, Soobin. With or without you,” you tell him while standing up and he knows from the firmness in your voice that your mind is set. “Tomorrow night. I’m leaving tomorrow night at sunset. If you want to join me, meet me here, under the Wisteria.” You turn around to leave and take a few steps before Soobin’s words make you pause in your tracks.

“Forever?” It is a last resort. He thinks maybe he can change your mind. But you don’t even look back before continuing on your journey home. Soobin looks down dejectedly at his shoes before standing up and walking in the opposite direction you have.

What neither of you had noticed, was a certain Capitol Worker watching you the whole time.

“She’s leaving tomorrow at sunset.” “...” “Don’t worry, I have a plan.”

The next day at school, you had expected to see Soobin in your first period, sitting in the front row as usual. Red flag number one should’ve been when you noticed that he wasn’t there when you walked in. He’s always early. You brushed it off though. Red flag number two was when the bell rang and the teacher started the class and Soobin still wasn’t here. Soobin’s never late to class. Again you pushed the thought away, focusing on what the teacher was writing on the board.

It’s the end of the day and still no sign of Soobin. You were extremely worried now and had reason to be. Even when he had the flu he came to school, albeit he was sent home immediately. You forced yourself to calm down, willing the worry that was bubbling in the bottom of your stomach to go down. It’s ok, you’ll see him tonight. You were certain he would be there. He loves you, there’s no way he wouldn’t be there. Boy were you in for a shock.

At about 10 minutes to sunset, you headed to the Wisteria tree which had quickly become your safe haven. A place where you could truly be yourself with your lover. A place where many kisses were shared, many memories were made. You smiled at the thought. But your smile was wiped off your face at the sight before your eyes.

Because there was Soobin, tied up to the tree with a gag in his mouth, and a boy around your age, maybe younger, next to him. His eyes were wide with worry and fear, for his life or yours you couldn’t tell. What the hell is happening?

“Oh hello, Y/n dear. Nice of you to finally join the party.” The boy spoke. “Do you know who I am?” Slowly, you shook your head no. His lips turned upwards into a smirk. He was fairly attractive and if you weren’t in love with Soobin, you would swoon. “My name is Kang Taehyun. Your CW.” A gasp slipped from your mouth.

“M-my, my what!? Y-you’re the one who does my curfew check? But you’re just a kid.” When the word left your mouth a hard glare was thrown your way. “N-nevermind, not a kid. Got it.”

“Good work, Taehyun.” A feminine voice resounded from behind you. You turned in the direction of the voice and froze. No. Right in front of your eyes was the same woman you had met almost a decade ago. The same woman that had held a taser to your mother and best friends’ necks. The same woman who had stepped over their lifeless bodies as she had left the park. The same woman who had smiled at you from over her shoulder, as if she were happy that you had no one left. “Y/n, we meet once again. Oh, what’s with that frown? Aren’t you happy to see me?” She mocked you. She had killed your family and she dared to mock you. You felt a bolt of anger surge through your body. You got ready to lunge at her but stopped at the cock of a gun.

“Uh, uh, uh. Take a step back or else I’ll blow your brains out.” You smirked. You weren’t afraid of dying. It would’ve been worth it to hurt the bitch.

“I don’t care. She deserves to feel pain. It’s not as strong as the pain of losing your family but close enough.” You took a step forward your arm raised to throw a punch at her, but then Taehyun uttered words you never wanted to ever hear.

“Maybe you don’t value your life, but I’m sure lover boy over here does.” You stopped in your tracks for the nth time that day, turning around to see Taehyun’s gun pointed straight at Soobin’s head. You looked into his eyes and saw nothing but fear and you knew that your eyes reflected his. When all you did was continue to stare at Soobin, Taehyun started to become impatient and shot up into the air. You jumped at the booming sound and looked over at him. “Next shot will be in his head.”

“P-please. What do you want? I’ll give you anything, just please, don’t hurt him,” your voice was shaky as you begged for his life. He can’t die, you won’t allow it. “K-kill me. Please kill me instead. Spare him.” At your words, Soobin tried his best to break free from his restraints. He struggled and struggled until Taehyun punched him in the face, forcing him to stop and causing you to scream in anguish.

“NOOOO!” The pain in your voice could be heard from a mile away. Your sobs echoing in the darkness. You have never cried as hard as this. “PLEASE I BEG OF YOU STOP! STOP PLEASE. LEAVE HIM ALONE, TAKE ME. HURT ME.” You never imagined that you would be in this situation. Watching Soobin, the love of your life, your forever, in pain. Blood dripped from his nose and you cringed at the sight.

“Oh darling, we plan to. But first, why don’t you enlighten us on why you want to leave Lamore?” The silky smooth voice behind you spoke again. How does she know that? She must’ve read your mind because she answered your question right after. “Taehyun here has been following you, getting intel on you, for about a month now. You’re a sneaky one, aren’t you?”

A month? Why only a month? And they both must be mind-readers as Taehyun answered you next. “Your breath. The night of your birthday. It was too fast, almost as if you were nervous. And what would you have to be nervous about if you were sleeping?” His eyebrow quirked up a little as he asked the question. “So I came closer than I usually do to make sure I was seeing correctly. I was, it turns out.” So that’s why he took more steps towards you than usual. You knew something was up.

“So what, you followed me here. And you’ve been following me this whole time?”

“Precisely. Now answer Miss Paige’s question. Why do you want to leave Lamore?” You glared at the both of them, your stubborn self not answering. “Oh, no answer? Alright,” as he said that, Taehyun pointed his gun at Soobin’s leg and pulled the trigger. A deafening boom ringing in your ears but you didn’t hear. All you heard was Soobin’s horrifying scream. He’s in pain. And it’s my fault.

You watched as blood spurred from the love of your life’s leg and you saw how he stumbled a little at the loss of support. I did this.

“I-if I tell you everything, everything. Will you leave Soobin alone? And get him to a hospital?”

“See, darling. That’s not gonna work. Taehyun here, he’s bloodthirsty. He needs to kill at the sight of blood.” The fuck is wrong with this dude? Yea, definitely not attracted to him anymore. “So one of you here is gonna have to die.” Her creepy smile never left her face.

“O-ok, kill me. Not Soobin, me,” you said the words quietly, hoping that Soobin wouldn’t hear you. But even in his loopy state, he heard. He started struggling against his binds once again. You made eye contact with him and put on a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. You hoped to calm him but did the opposite. Worry pooled in his eyes and you looked away, knowing what you had to do. “Promise me. Swear that you won’t harm him anymore.”

“Alright. I swear on my daughter that I won’t harm lover boy.” And so you told them. You told them how much you hated the Capitol and Lamore in general. You told them how you loved Soobin and wanted to be with him forever. You told them how you planned to run away to Arena but Soobin didn’t want to. You told them everything. And when you were finally finished, you closed your eyes, awaiting death. You heard the sound of the gun and smiled. I’ll see you soon, Amelia, mom. But after a few moments of no pain, you opened your eyes. And screamed at the sight.

Soobin. With a bullet lodged in his head. You rushed over to him, your hands hovering over his body, too scared to touch him. You sobbed even harder than the first time you met him, your wails even causing Paige to feel sympathy for a moment. But only for a moment. You wheeled your head towards her, rage in your eyes.

“You promised! You promised you wouldn’t kill him! You swore on your daughter, you lying bitch.” You screamed at her, feeling another part of your heart break. You lost one half of your heart at 10 years old and now, you lost the other half. You had a heart no more, all that was left was a hole in your chest.

“Fun fact,” she leaned close to whisper in your ear, “ I don’t have a daughter.”

That must’ve been your breaking point because you wrapped your hands around her neck. Now you were the bloodthirsty one. But before you could even see a glimpse of pain in her eyes, a shot rang out. You looked down at your shirt, seeing a pool of red seep out. You smirked. It worked. I get to be with my family now.

You stumbled backward, ending beside Soobin, your back resting on the Wisteria tree that you used to call home. You leaned your head on his shoulder, thinking about the last thing he said to you.

“Forever?”

And as you closed your eyes, you answered him.

“Forever.”

TXT Masterlist

Main Masterlist

42 notes · View notes

365days365movies · 3 years

Text

January 20, 2021: Taken (2008)

Well, I know one thing about this movie. He’s gonna find ‘em. And he’s gonna kill ‘em. And also, Luc Besson didn’t direct this movie! Yeah, my bad, he wrote this movie. But, then, he also wrote Leon, so I wasn’t entirely wrong. Anyway, 2008!

I remember this year well. Obama was elected the first Black president of the United States of America; the Olympics took place in Beijing, months after a massive earthquake in Sichuan; the Large Hadron Collider was totally gonna make a black hole; and, of course, the most important news event of that year: Iron Man and The Dark Knight came out.

And of course, the film Taken came out, creating what is arguably the most repeated film meme ever. Or, at the very least, it’s WAY up there. It’s a 12-year old meme at this point, but lemme tell ya: this thing was HUGE in 2008. Not the movie itself, just the meme. And I could lie and tell you that I’m watching this movie because it’s another French action thriller, and it’s fitting, but…

...it’s the meme. It’s 100% the meme, I’m not gonna lie to you guys. So, uh...yeah, Taken, let’s do this. SPOILERS AHEAD!

Recap

Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) is dreaming of his daughter and wife. In the modern day, he brings a birthday gift to his daughter, Kim (Maggie Grace), and his bitter ex-wife Lenore (Famke Janssen), who is married to a very wealthy man, Stuart (Xander Berkeley). Bryan, meanwhile, is a recent and comparatively poor retiree, whose friends come over for a night of drinks.

Retiree from what, you ask? Well, it’s likely the CIA, given that his friends refer to military missions and Langley. They invite him to join security detail for a pop star, Sheerah (Holly Valance), In the process, he saves her from crazed fans, including a knife-wielding assailant. Not sure why that guy wants to LITERALLY STAB HER, but somebody needs to look into that guy!

Out of gratitude, Sheerah gives Bryan some references to give to his daughter, who wants to be a singer, apparently. However, when he sees her and Lenore the next day, all she wants from him is permission to go on a trip to Paris with her friends. When he shows his doubts for her safety, she’s upset, and his wife berates him for...government and military service? I mean, that stuff breaks up marriages, of course, but GODDAMN, Lenore’s bitter about it! Whoof.

Bryan’s definitely being made to be sympathetic, while Lenore’s the opposite of that. And Bryan’s understandably worried about his daughter’s safety, as she’ll be abroad. And we get the idea that Bryan’s a bit of a helicopter parent, but...c’mon! He’s underage daughter is asking to go to Paris with her friends! It’s cause for a parent to be worried, and yet Lenore is like, “She needs to be freeeeeeeeeee!” And that’s made even WORSE by the fact that both of them lie to Bryan, a father who clearly loves his daughter, because she’s actually following U2 on a music tour around Europe!

Which...really? U2? Who the hell can stand that much Bono, for their ENTIRE EUROPEAN TOUR? Anyway, what I’m saying is, Lenore sucks, and I’m not Kim’s biggest fan either. But I get the feeling that, given the one thing I know about this movie...Bryan’s gonna be proven right. So Kim and her friend, Amanda (Katie Cassidy) go to Europe, alone, despite Bryan’s understandable misgivings.

They IMMEDIATELY get hit on by Peter, a French boy who gives them a ride. He invites them to a party, Amanda accepts for them, and this is OBVIOUSLY A BAD IDEA. That’s even further confirmed by Peter making a mysterious call, telling the other person about the girls’ location. Kim doesn’t call Bryan, as promised, and Amanda is clearly a TERRIBLE influence. Looks like Bryan was completely right to be concerned, if his daughter’s gonna be so irresponsible. Oh, also because they’re about to get kidnapped.

Luckily, Kim had called Bryan just before, after realizing that he had called her, and he guides her through the upcoming kidnapping. With his help, although she gets kidnapped, Bryan is able to figure out that the kidnappers are Albanian, and that one of them is a six-foot tall bearded man with a moon and star tattoo on his right hand DAMN THAT’S OBSERVANT. But still...she’s been Taken.

Someone picks up the phone...and he says the speech.

youtube

Had to do it, folks. It’s the most iconic scene in the film. Time for action! Bryan calls a friend with Langley connections, then goes straight to Lenore and Stuart’s place, who find out that BRYAN WAS FUCKING RIGHT GODDAMMIT HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW

Having COMPLETELY FUCKED UP, Lenore asks Bryan to get her back safely. They actually figure out that the men who kidnapped her are professional sex-traffickers, who specialize in kidnapping travelling women and putting them in prostitution. But they tend to disappear...within 96 Hours. That’s how long Bryan has to find her, as well as being an alternate title for this film!

The time limit, by the way, is a common construct for the action-thriller. You know, “she has 12 hours to live,” that kind of deal. Thrillers are going to be peppered throughout this year, and there are a few coming up as well, so might as well start with this one, right?

Bryan flies to Paris, then makes his way to the apartment, tracing Kim’s steps up to her kidnapping. He also finds her destroyed phone, alongside an SD card with photos. From this, he gets a blurry look at Peter. I get the feeling that his face isn’t about to look much better. Speaking of, Peter’s playing his old tricks at the airport, and is caught by Bryan. Painfully caught. After Bryan fights off another guy, and chases Peter up a road, Peter also gets caught by karma.

80 hours left. Having exhausted options, Bryan meets an old contact, Jean-Claude (Olivier Rabourdin), who tells him where the Albanians hang out. He hires an Albanian translator, then heads for a prostitute-heavy area. He harrangues a prostitute until her manager comes out, whom he puts a small microphone on. With the translator’s help, he discovers that they’re having “merchandise problems” at a construction site.

Following a hunch, he makes his way there, and sees several drug-addicted young women in a makeshift brothel. Also there is his daughter’s jacket. The prostitute that has it, however, is not exactly cognitively sound at the moment. So...she’s Taken. By Bryan, who fights his way out of the brothel and construction site, with gunshots, explosions, and car chases along the way.

Bryan brings the girl back to a hotel, where he somehow gets ahold of an IV and medicine, and detoxes her in the room. Which, given the time frame and other factors...seems like a very large risk to take for testimony that, let’s be honest, right not exist. Still, as this is happening, he gets a call from Jean-Claude, asking to meet.

56 hours left. After 7 people dead, a destroyed trailer, and 3 people injured (and probably stolen medicine from a hospital, let’s be honest), Bryan isn’t exactly the best friend of the French government. He escapes police custody and heads back to the hotel, where the girl is cogent enough to remember where she got the jacket: from Kim herself, at the house with the red door on the road of paradise. No, really.

Bryan gets to the house, and poses as Jean-Claude...badly. He apparently passes his bluff check, and takes advantage of a corrupt police system, and makes them give him protection money. Over the course of the conversation, he figures out that one of them is Marco. Which means that he found him. And he said that when he found him…

After that spree is done, he searches the facility and looks for Kim. He doesn’t find her...but he does find Amanda. And sadly, he’s too late for her. Turns out, though, that he didn’t kill Marko (Arben Bajraktaraj), the leader of the group. And of course not! He has some questions.

Bryan tortures Marko using electricity, and he reveals that Kim’s been sold quickly, as she is a virgin. She’s been sold to Patrice Saint-Clair (Gerard Watkins), although Marko doesn’t know where he is. And so, Bryan fulfills his promise, and electrocutes him. He then makes his way to meet Jean-Claude at his home. And, uh...that’s when he crosses a line.

...Um. Bryan shot his wife. And yeah, Jean-Claude’s clearly not on the up-and-up, but he’s not directly complicit in the kidnapping of his daughter. And yeah, he’s in Bryan’s way, but JESUS CHRIST DUDE. He officially loses the moral high-ground here for me, even if his cause is just. Jean-Claude concedes, and Bryan gets the information that he’s looking for and leaves, knocking Jean-Claude out in the process.

Bryan goes to the Saint-Clair residence, where an auction is taking place for various young women. The last of these is, of course, Kim. Having barged into a booth of one of the buyers, he forces him to buy Kim (ew). Unfortunately, he’s caught and chained to a pipe, where Saint-Clair’s henchmen are about to kill him. But, of course...

Bryan escapes and kills Saint-Clair in the process, but not before finding out that Kim’s been Taken to a boat. He obtains a car, and after a length (and seizure-inducing) car chase, gets onto the boat, which is owned by the Sheik, a man of unknown Arabic origin. And yeah, in case you were wondering, this feels very...VERY...wrong. It’s brief, yeah, but...you gave a rich Arabic guy multiple wives obtained through illegal means and made them the main villain? FUCKIN’ OOF BRUV

Anyway, as expected, Bryan kicks the asses of everybody on the boat, and finally rescues Kim, killing the Sheik in the process. The two have a tearful embrace, and Bryan NEVER LETS HER OUT OF HIS SIGHT AGAIN PROBABLY. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT BONO. THIS IS ALL YOUR GODDAMN FAULT.

Well, Bryan wins the I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG GODDAMIT award, Kim gets to go home and meet that singer from before, Lenore gives Bryan some consideration as a human being for once, Stuart stepfathers, and that’s Taken! Also, WHERE IN THE HELL ARE AMANDA’S PARENTS, A GIRL IS DEAD

Epilogue soon!

12 notes · View notes

per-ineptia-ad-astra · 5 years

Text

Star Trek Episode 1.13: The Conscience of the King

AKA: The Devil Hath Power to Assume A Pleasing Shape: A Thesis

Our episode begins with a man being stabbed, which as dramatic openings go is certainly a bold one—though the reaction of the man being stabbed looks rather more like he just hit his funnybone than got knifed in the chest. The man doing the stabbing—a gray haired chap in nonspecific Fancy Old Clothes—puts a bit more effort into it, looking down at the blood now covering his hands with some amount of consternation.

Before the audience at home can start wondering if they accidentally tuned in to Masterpiece Theatre by mistake, we see Kirk, watching this from some comfy seating nearby, because it is, of course, actually a play. Macbeth, to be precise. The guy sitting next to Kirk tells him to watch Macbeth, presumably for a more serious reason than because Macbeth is the main character of the play so you’re kind of supposed to be paying attention to him.

Macbeth goes about his business, exiting through a nearby flat that I have to say looks like it was made for a middle school production, and monologuing to Lady Macbeth, as one does. In the audience, Kirk’s friend, still serious and intent on the scene before him, says that he knows that man’s voice. It’s the voice of Kodos...the Executioner. Judging by his tone I’m going to assume that he’s not just talking about another credit on the guy’s IMDb page.

After the titles, we see the Enterprise circling around a planet while Kirk gives a captain’s log, telling us that they diverted from their planned course to go check on one Dr. Thomas Leighton—Kirk’s friend at the play-- who claims he’s discovered a new synthetic food source that could end the threat of famine a nearby colony is dealing with. But we then immediately see that things are not quite as they seem. Down on the planet, Kirk is talking to Leighton, and he’s not happy. It seems that in fact, the real reason Leighton had the Enterprise diverted was so that he could tell Kirk about the actor that he thinks is this Kodos guy. In fact, he’s very sure Macbeth is Kodos, so sure that he lied to Kirk about the food discovery just to get him to come over there—which, as Kirk points out, has put both Leighton and Kirk in trouble. Kirk also points out this guy probably isn’t Kodos because Kodos is dead. Oh. Hm. Yeah, that does tend to complicate things.

Leighton thinks there’s still a chance Kodos is alive because the body that they found was too badly burned to be really sure. Kirk says this whole thing has been over and done with for years but Leighton wants to reopen the case. And quite a serious case it is, too—4,000 people dead. (It is, incidentally, some not half bad exposition; despite both characters effectively reiterating things they already know to one another, it comes off as pretty natural.) Kirk asks Martha, Leighton’s wife—well, I presume she’s his wife, and not just a random woman hanging out at his house—to talk some sense into him, but she says she can’t, he’s been in a snit about this ever since the actors showed up.

Kirk repeats that Kodos is dead and he’s satisfied with that, but Leighton says he’s not. He remembers too well what Kodos was like, what he did—and as he says this, he turns his head to the camera to reveal that his right eye and most of the right side of his face are covered in a black patch.

[ID: Leighton, a white man with short brown hair and one brown eye seen from the neck up and looking off to the side grimly. He has a black fabric covering over the right side of his face, extending into a patch that covers his eye.]

Leighton pleads with Kirk to help him. Less than ten people ever saw Kodos in person—somehow--and Kirk and Leighton are two of them. Leighton needs Kirk to help him expose this actor for who he really is. But Kirk insists that Kodos is dead. Which is not really surprising; what would you do if someone invited you to come see a play and then leaned over and said, “Hey, you see that actor there? I’m pretty sure he’s actually Hitler.” You could be forgiven for a certain degree of skepticism. But Kirk’s tone throughout this scene indicates that things run deeper than that. He has a history with Kodos. This is personal to him. He’s not just dismissing Leighton because his claim goes against something that is commonly known to be true; he needs to believe that Kodos is dead and gone, and is personally unwilling to entertain any idea otherwise.

Seeing that he doesn’t have Kirk’s support on this, Leighton dramatically announces that if Kodos is dead then there will be a ghost in his home tonight--he invited the actors over, because this whole thing is a puzzle, and dammit, Jim, a true gentleman leaves no puzzle unsolved! And seldom have the words “I invited them over for a cocktail party” been said so ominously. Kirk doesn’t much care, though, and heads back to the ship, grumbling about the trouble he’ll have entering this in his log—although compared to the kinds of things Kirk usually has to describe in his log, you’d think this one would be pretty easy.

But it seems Kirk is perhaps not so certain of things as he claimed, because we find him looking up Kodos in the library files, along with this suspicious actor, one Anton Karidian. The computer helpfully informs him, and us, that Kodos (I don’t know if that’s his first name or his last name or if he just went by one name, like Cher) was governor of a colony on the planet Tarsus 4, twenty years ago. The ‘executioner’ bit came in when he invoked martial law and killed half the colony, which does have a way of earning you a certain negative reputation. When backup from Earth arrived to sort things out, they found a body, but as previously mentioned it was too badly burned to be definitively identified, so it was just assumed that Kodos was really most sincerely dead.

Karidian, on the other hand, has been the director of this company of actors for the past nine years, traveling about as part of a galactic cultural exchange program. Also he has a nineteen year old daughter named Lenore. Man, this whole voice-operated computer thing sure is convenient. It’d be a lot harder to dramatically frame Kirk looking all this up on Wikipedia.

Before the computer can go into Karidian’s complete life history and theatrical appearances, Kirk interrupts and tells it to compare Karidian and Kodos. But the computer can’t, because there are no identification records on Karidian. Nor is there any information about Karidian before twenty years ago. It’s as if he just sprang up out of nowhere, right after Kodos died. Hmm. Leighton’s not sounding quite so paranoid anymore.

Kirk calls up side-by-side photos of Kodos and Karidian. They do look quite similar, albeit Karidian is a lot more gray in the hair. Suspicious—but just looking like a dude isn’t evidence that you are that dude. They could be distant relations or something.

[ID: An over the shoulder shot of Kirk looking at a small computer screen on the table in front of him. The screen is showing two images side by side, one of a red-haired white man with a goatee, the other an older white man with gray hair and a mustache.]

There is, in case you were wondering, absolutely no information given about how Kirk was involved in this whole thing or what he was doing on Tarsus 4 in the first place. Originally I believe the episode was supposed to say he was stationed there as a young midshipman, which would make sense, but that got cut out, and the later information we get about Kirk’s age would make him thirteen at the time—and Starfleet might recruit young, but they don’t recruit that young. So the question of just how Kirk got from Iowa to Tarsus 4 is, like so many things, left up to the EU. And the question of what impact that traumatic event had on Kirk is left up to fanfiction, because lord knows the show will never revisit it again.

While Kirk is sitting there glumly staring at the pictures, Spock walks in on him, which is what happens when you use a random conference room to do your morbid internet searches instead of doing it in your room like a sensible person. Kirk asks Spock what he thinks of Leighton, if he’s the sort of man who’s prone to bouts of fantasy. Spock says that Leighton’s a good, reputable scientist, not presumably known for any tendencies to accuse random people of committing genocide. He also tells Kirk that they’re ready to leave orbit, but Kirk says to delay that for a little bit—he’s got a cocktail party to go to.

Down at the party Kirk is mixin’ and minglin’ with the actors, but Leighton himself is nowhere to be seen. Martha tells Kirk that Leighton went out to town, presumably to get more chips or something. In the meantime, everyone seems to be out on the patio, conveniently out of camera range, but as Kirk wanders into the house he encounters that most rare and stunning of creatures, a woman. Kirk immediately turns up the good ol’ Kirk charm and introduces himself, chatting with the lady about her performance. She says her father is the leader of the company, which would make her Lenore, the daughter of Karidian the computer mentioned. The nineteen year old daughter. Maybe, uhhh, turn down the flirting there a bit, Kirk?

Kirk says he was hoping to meet Karidian himself, but Lenore says that her father has a strict rule about never meeting anyone personally or attending parties. He’s the leader of a theatre company and he never meets anyone personally? That’s got to make networking a challenge. If Kirk can’t talk to Karidian himself, though, he might as well talk to Karidian’s daughter. He asks about their travel plans, compliments her on her performance as Lady Macbeth (personally I think it’s a mite weird for a nineteen year old to be playing Lady Macbeth opposite her dad as Macbeth, but stranger things happen in show business I guess), and says he’d like to see her again—not necessarily professionally. Lenore says she’d like that, but they must keep a schedule, to which Kirk points out that she doesn’t have a schedule right now, convincing her to go out for a walk with him. I’m just gonna sit here and pretend that Kirk isn’t chatting up a nineteen year old. It does help somewhat that she doesn’t look or act like a nineteen year old in any way.

So they go out for a stroll ‘n’ flirt, and Lenore comments on how Kirk is a bit different when he’s not around a lot of other people that he has to act all captainy for. Then she goes in for a kiss, but Kirk is distracted at the last second by the sight of a body crumpled against the rocks nearby. That’ll kill the mood, alright.

Kirk runs to investigate. It’s grim news—the body is Leighton, and he’s dead. And he didn’t bring any chips back.

Next thing we see, Leighton has been brought back to the house, where Martha mournfully lays a cloth over his face. Aw, dangit, guys, you’re not supposed to move the body until CSI gets there! We’ll never find out who killed him now. But it does seem that he was indeed killed, which raises the question of why someone would kill him if his suspicions about Karidian weren’t true. The obvious answer that maybe his suspicions were true hangs in the air, but all Kirk says is that he’ll try to find out what happened. He gives poor Martha a rather perfunctory hug before she exits, leaving him alone with Leighton.

After a moment, Kirk calls up to Uhura and asks her to put him through to John Daley, the captain of the Astral Queen—a ship that Lenore mentioned the company was planning to hitch a ride on. Turns out that Kirk and Daley are buddies and Daley owes Kirk some favors, which Kirk is about to cash in on. He asks Daley not to pick up the theatre company, saying the Enterprise will do it instead, and Daley is perfectly happy to abandon his passengers without any questions. Looks like Kirk’s up to something.

He goes back up to the ship, where Spock soon comes over to tell him that they’re ready to leave. But Kirk says to hang on for a minute, because they’re due for a pickup. Spock’s naturally a bit confused about this, but right on cue, Uhura says that Lenore’s just come aboard asking to talk to Kirk. Man, it sure is easy to get onto the Enterprise. All you have to do is invite yourself up.

Kirk tells Uhura to have Lenore come up to the bridge. Spock wants to know how in the heck Kirk knew Lenore was coming. Kirk is not helpful.

[ID: Kirk sitting in the captain’s chair on the bridge and saying, “I’m the captain,” while Spock stands behind the chair with a rather confused look on his face.]

Lenore enters the bridge, all dressed up in...uh...I have no idea what this is. Looks sort of like a bathmat wrapped around her torso.

[ID: Lenore, a smiling white woman with blonde hair half piled up and half hanging loose, walking through the doors of the turbolift to the bridge. She is carrying a pocketbook with a dappled pattern and wearing sparkly translucent tights and a furry gray dress-like thing with a boxy shape, which extends from partway down her arms to just below her hips.]

Lenore tells Kirk that, oh dear, it seems that their ride isn’t coming, and they don’t have time to wait for another ship if they’re to keep their schedule, so could they hitch a ride on the Enterprise, pretty please? Which is a touch strange because in my experience lead actresses are not the people who make the transport arrangements. But I suppose the episode would have gone rather differently if it was instead a beleaguered stage manager who called up to say, “Listen, who do I need to bribe to get us a ride on this ship because I have got a goddamn SCHEDULE to keep and I will fight off Klingons with a STICK if that's what it takes to get us there in time. You've got to have SOME room up there. You need us to stay in the cargo bay the entire time? Fine. Solid. I'll rig up hammocks. Whatever it takes. I am NOT KIDDING about this schedule.”

Kirk dithers, saying it’s against regulations to pick up actors. Well, actually, all he says is that “the regulations are very clear” which could just mean that they’re not supposed to pick up anyone, but I’m choosing to believe that Starfleet has a specific mandate against actors. Lenore says that she’ll make a bargain: if Kirk will be so kind as to give them a lift, the company will put on a special performance for the crew. Well, I mean, it’s against the rules, but who can turn down free theatre? Not Kirk, who says it’ll be something nice for the crew; they’ve been doing boring patrols for quite a while and are starting to get a bit stir crazy.

After a bit of banter, Lenore leaves. Kirk seems quite pleased with himself, but Spock is, understandably, wondering what the hell just happened. His confusion only increases when Kirk tells him to set a course for the Benecia Colony, which as Spock points out is eight light years off course. Kirk, suddenly a lot less jovial now that Lenore’s gone, snaps at Spock to follow his orders. Which Spock does, but not without the Eyebrow of Disapproval.

Kirk gives a log musing on the situation—how he has a lot of questions right now and he’s not entirely sure he wants them answered. Some time later, as they’re underway to the colony, he takes over Spock’s chair to consult with the library computer some more.

Specifically, Kirk is wanting some information about the eyewitnesses Leighton mentioned—the small number of people who actually saw Kodos. Which he says out loud, to the computer, which responds to him, out loud, while he’s on the bridge in front of everybody. Smooth going there, Kirk. Great job keeping this investigation of yours a secret.

Apparently there are only nine people who can identify Kodos, which strikes me as a bit odd considering the guy was the governor of a whole colony. One would presume he would be pretty recognizable to most of the people in that colony, unless he went full evil overlord from the beginning and holed up secretively in a castle or something. Not to mention the people who must have known him before he became governor. But no, there were just nine people—and one of them was Leighton, so there’s only eight people now. One of them is Kirk, a few more are names we don’t know, and then there’s one K. Riley.

That catches Kirk’s attention. Would that be Kevin Riley, who’s currently assigned to the Enterprise? Yes, it is—somehow, totally by accident, two of these nine people wound up serving on the same starship. It’s a small infinity out there. (Riley is referred to as being in the ‘Star Service,’ yet another proto-name for Starfleet.)

Kirk calls Spock over and tells him that he wants Riley to be transferred down to Engineering. Spock points out that Riley came up through Engineering—he’s now in Communications; I don’t know how the qualifications for those overlap but evidently they do—and without an explanation he’ll surely take this sudden transfer as a punishment for something. Kirk only says he doesn’t want to talk about it.

But Spock’s had enough of all this weird behavior. It’s time to get a second opinion, and that means talking to McCoy. Spock and McCoy might disagree on just about everything it is possible to disagree on, but there’s one area where they can always find common ground, and that is Dealing With Jim.

McCoy’s a bit reticent about this one, though, since he hasn’t been around to see Kirk’s recent odd behavior and also is a bit preoccupied with having a drink. Which leads to an odd bit of dialogue: “My father’s race was spared the dubious benefits of alcohol.” “Oh. Now I know why they were conquered.” There’s no other mention in the series of the Vulcans ever being conquered, so it’s anyone’s guess what McCoy is talking about.

Anyway, McCoy figures that Kirk probably just invited the actors up because he took a liking to Lenore, which admittedly would not be terribly out of character for Kirk. He’s also not impressed by the news that Kirk had Riley suddenly transferred, since after all he’s the captain and he can do that if he pleases. But then, I doubt McCoy keeps up with any of the various crew movements that don’t immediately concern the medical department, so Riley’s transfer probably doesn’t stand out as anything especially unusual to him.

Meanwhile, Kirk is taking Lenore for a stroll around the ship, stopping in the observation deck to look out at the stars—although for an observation deck, it has some really tiny windows. Lenore recites “star light, star bright” and when Kirk says the rhyme is very old she says it’s “almost as old as the stars themselves.” Right, I guess growing up with a traveling company of actors didn’t leave much time for science class.

They swap innuendos about how full of surging, throbbing power the Enterprise is (yes, really), and then Kirk tries to tease out some information about Karidian. But Lenore deflects, saying she wants to know about the women in Kirk’s world and if the Enterprise has changed them, “made them just people instead of women?” one of those lines which was so obviously written by a man that it might as well have been accompanied by A DUDE WROTE THIS in flashing letters on the screen. Kirk says that no, the women are still women. What a relief.

While all this nonsense is going on up on the observation deck, Spock is alone on the bridge, brooding. Yes, alone. Sure, it’s nighttime by the ship’s clock, but one would expect there to be a night crew. Maybe Spock chased them all off for better brooding conditions. He asks the library computer—which is really getting a workout in this episode—to call up the histories of Riley, Leighton, Karidian, and Kirk, and to check them all for similarities.

Evidently he finds something there, because next we see him talking to McCoy again—still at night, but hey, I don’t think either of them sleep, except when being drugged by salt monsters. Spock is explaining to McCoy exactly what happened on Tarsus 4, finally letting us in on the details of the situation. Apparently a fungus destroyed the colony’s food supply, leaving eight thousand colonists with barely any food. Kodos responded by declaring martial law, and began to separate the colonists, deciding who would live, rationing the remaining food—and who would be executed, to free up resources for the rest. Apparently he had some ideas about eugenics, and used them to determine who was fit to keep living for the benefit of the colony and who wasn’t. Yeah, uh, that’s...that’s not going to win you the politician of the year award.

The result was, as could be expected, brutal. Relief ships showed up, but not in time to prevent half the colony from being executed. As we’ve already heard, they found a body, but couldn’t determine for sure if it really was Kodos. And now this Karidian guy has shown up, and funnily enough, his personal history begins rather abruptly and immediately where Kodos’s left off. It rather strongly points to Karidian being Kodos, and also rather strongly points to him being really bad at making up a new identity. You gotta backdate some records, invent a bit of personal history, some fake relatives, man, c’mon.

So now Spock thinks that Kirk is suspecting Karidian is Kodos, a point on which Spock agrees with him. But things are worse even than that, because Spock has also discovered that that list of nine eyewitnesses isn’t just down to eight: it’s down to two. All of them but Kirk and Riley are dead, and not only that, but every time one of them died, the theatre company was somewhere nearby. Looks like there’s something rotten in the state of...whatever state we’re in. McCoy seems to agree, because he’s looking a good deal more serious now than he was earlier.

We don’t get to hear much of what McCoy has to say about the matter, though, because the next thing we see is Riley, sitting alone down in Engineering and looking supremely bored. And yes, if you’ve been wondering, this is in fact the same Riley that we saw back in The Naked Time, taking over Engineering and relentlessly singing at everybody—a rare case of a recurring character in TOS who wasn’t one of the main cast. In fact, this was entirely accidental; the character wasn’t written as Riley, but when Bruce Hyde was cast for the part they realized he’d already had a named appearance on the show and figured, what the heck, might as well make it the same guy--which is either a monumental coincidence or a really small casting pool.

Of course, that does mean that Riley mysteriously went from being a helmsman to being a communications officer who started out in Engineering. But hey, it’s the Enterprise, where people move around and show up in weird places all the time. Why do you think McCoy constantly reminds everyone that he’s a doctor? He’s probably afraid that if he doesn’t repeat it enough he’ll wake up as a botanist one day with no explanation.

At any rate, Riley’s pulling the night shift down in Engineering, and given his history, one has to wonder if the poor guy is taking this unexplained demotion as an overdue punishment for the Incident, or perhaps even, considering where he was reassigned, as a cruel joke. One thing’s for sure, he certainly doesn’t look very happy. He’s also still wearing a gold shirt, even though both Communications and Engineering are Operations, which is red, so I don’t know what that’s about.

Riley is so bored, in fact, that he calls up to the rec room just to have somebody to talk to. He laments his current position to the few people hanging out up there, who also assume that he’s been reassigned as punishment, though Riley protests that he has no idea what he did. But luckily for him Uhura is hanging out in the rec room playing her lyre, and she agrees to play him a love song to take his mind off how dark and empty and lonely Engineering is.

Unfortunately, while the music of Uhura distracts Riley from his predicament, it also distracts him from some other things—like the fact that someone else has crept into Engineering, with nefarious plans for the delicious dinner of fruity space cubes and milk that Riley has set aside. Although evidently the props department phoned it in on this one, because the villainous stranger is carrying that classic TOS prop, the Completely Unaltered Modern Spray Bottle, and as a result it looks rather like their plan is to poison Riley by putting Windex in his milk.

[ID: A tray showing a partly covered dish of red, yellow and green cubes, and a glass of milk. A gloved hand is reaching in to spray something into the milk from a clear spray bottle. From offscreen, Uhura is singing, “Tomorrow, a stop along the way...” ]

I mean, I guess that would do the trick.

Shortly thereafter, Riley remembers that he does in fact have food waiting, and decides to whet his thirst with some delicious milk while listening to Uhura. It’s a lucky thing for Riley that he did decide to do that when he did, and that Windex is such a short-acting poison, because the comm link is still open to the rec room when he starts gagging and choking and spluttering for help. Then he falls out of his chair, spilling milk all over the console in the process. Man, Riley just can’t help but make a mess of Engineering, huh.

Help soon arrives, presumably, because the next thing we see is Riley unconscious in Sickbay, while Spock and McCoy look on seriously. Spock says that McCoy has to save Riley because if he dies, Kirk will be the only witness left and he’ll be targeted next. And also because Riley is a person and his life is valuable, or something, presumably, I guess. Of course it looks like whoever’s doing this is trying to take out all the witnesses, so unless they’re just really determined to do things in a specific order, Kirk’s going to be the next target regardless of whether Riley makes it or not.

But as Kirk’s log soon tells us, Riley’s condition is not looking good, and McCoy is struggling to find an antidote for Windex poisoning. Since the substance is in use aboard the ship—all those giant windows, y’know—McCoy tells Spock that it’s possible someone just made a mistake and poisoned Riley’s milk by accident. As you do. But of course neither of them really believe that, and Spock wants Kirk to be notified immediately, not even letting McCoy finish his report first.

So the two in blue go off to confront Kirk in his quarters, where he’s brooding over some paperwork. Spock tells Kirk that they know about the whole Kodos thing. Kirk is feeling tetchy, though, as a murder threat is wont to make you do, and accuses Spock of prying into Kirk’s personal business and generally being out of line, which quickly turns into a shouting match. But while Kirk may be able to fend off Spock or McCoy individually, both of them working together is too much for him. Too much for any mere mortal, really.

Kirk backs down just a bit and points out that they don’t have any proof of anything, but Spock tells him to cut that bullshit out (but, y’know, in a more Spock-like manner). He wants to know why Kirk is risking his life, knowing that he’s surely going to be the next target. Kirk says that he’s interested in justice, but McCoy asks if he’s sure it’s not vengeance, and Kirk admits that he’s not.

He goes on to talk about how he cannot be certain Karidian really is Kodos, and that he must be certain before he can accuse anyone of something like that. After all he only saw Kodos once, twenty years ago, and human memory becomes distorted over much shorter periods than that. Kirk does not want to rely only on logic for this: he won’t be satisfied until he knows in his heart that Karidian is Kodos.

And if he is certain, what then? McCoy asks. Nothing done to Kodos now will bring back the people he killed. No, Kirk agrees, but…

[ID: Kirk looking seriously into the distance and saying, “But they may rest easier.”]

It’s quite the scene. Kirk is obviously struggling with this dilemma, and with his own memories of that terrible event. He knows there’s a weight on his shoulders to do something, but that weight only makes him more determined to be certain before he acts—while also making him all the more uncertain. William Shatner primarily gets remembered for all the hammy shouting he did as Kirk, but he was fully capable of pulling off the quieter scenes as well, when he had something to work with.

After the break, either the conversation is still ongoing, or Spock left and came back just to repeat what he already said, I’m not sure. At any rate, McCoy’s gone off somewhere and Spock and Kirk are still hashing it out when Spock hears an ominous humming noise. They both immediately recognize it: it’s a phaser on overload, getting ready to blow, and that’s seriously bad news.

Spock starts tearing about the room while Kirk puts out a call to evacuate the deck, because if that phaser goes off it’ll take out the whole thing. Then he pushes Spock out the door to go lead the evacuation while he keeps looking for the phaser. The hum is getting louder and louder as Kirk throws books around desperately, until finally he spots it—it’s in a tiny alcove in the wall, behind a transparent frame. What possible use that alcove could have besides hiding phaser bombs in is a mystery to me.

Kirk grabs the thing out, and evidently it’s too late to turn it off now, because after a moment of grappling with it he runs out of the room and chucks the phaser in a convenient nearby chute, labeled ‘Pressure Vent Disposal.’ Spock comes running back in time to stand there and wait for a tense few seconds before there’s an explosion somewhere far below, still strong enough to knock them both against the far wall. Crisis averted—just. Man, good thing that chute was there.

Elsewhere on the ship, Karidian is hanging out in his temporary quarters, wearing quite the elaborate high-collared robe, as actors do when they’re relaxing. But the tense music tells us that this is not any ordinary hanging out, it’s very ominous hanging out. Kirk soon comes in, determined to have a talk. He’s in quite the mood after that little incident with the phaser, understandably—Kirk’s not much bothered by a threat to his own life, but a threat to his ship and crew? That will sure spur him to action. He’s not here to beat about the bush, either, just straight-up asks, “Are you Kodos?” Blunt. I like it.

Karidian reacts very little to this, which in itself is telling, because if you’re not an infamous mass-murdering eugenicist, then one would expect that your reaction to someone walking into your room and accusing you of being one would be surprise. And confusion. Just a general sort of, “What? No. What the fuck, no?”

But Karidian only asks if Kirk believes that he is Kodos, and when told that he does, says that he’ll be Kodos if it pleases Kirk to believe that. Because he’s an actor, and plays many parts. My dude, that’s not how acting works. You don’t have to just pretend to be anybody that someone accuses you of being. Hell, there’s probably a union rule about that somewhere.

Unsurprisingly this non-answer doesn’t much amuse Kirk, nor is he amused when he asks what Karidian was twenty years ago and Karidian just says, “Younger. Much younger.” So he gives Karidian a piece of paper and tells him to read it into the wall comm, so they can compare it to a recording of Kodos that they have on file, which Kirk says is a “virtually infallible” test.

This is a part of the episode that didn’t hold up so well over time. We’re repeatedly told that Kodos was never positively declared dead because the body was too burned to be identified. That made sense in 1966—or at least, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that it did—but we’ve gotten a lot better at forensics since then, so it’s a bit hard to find that believable. What, no DNA test? No dental records? Facial reconstruction? Nuthin? The whole computer voice comparison thing is obviously supposed to come off as cool future tech but in a modern context it just seems rather silly.

I’m not real inclined to hold this one against them as an actual criticism, though, since it’s not like the writers could possibly have known otherwise at the time. That said, even putting aside the modern context, the crux of this whole ‘only nine witnesses’ thing doesn’t really hold up too well within the episode. I already mentioned how weird it is that apparently there are only nine people, out of the four thousand or so surviving colonists, that could identity the governor of the colony, but even allowing that one it still doesn’t make any sense because there are photos of Kodos. We saw Kirk looking at one back near the beginning of the episode! If there’s photographic proof of what the dude looks like, why the heck are these eyewitnesses so important? It’s not as if they can’t prove he did the crime unless they have people who can say they saw him doing it—that’s not the kind of crime you can cover up, and anyway, no one ever expresses the slightest bit of doubt that it was Kodos himself who did it. Everyone knows that. The question is what he looks like, and that’s not a mystery. Eliminating the eyewitnesses would do nothing because someone could still figure out who the guy was by looking at a picture of him! That you have! In public access library files!

The weird thing is that plot-wise there was never any need to show that photo at all. It just came up and Kirk went “hm” at it and that was it. They could easily have just not shown that there were any photos of Kodos, and then we wouldn’t have this problem, but they did, and here we are.

Anyway, Kirk gives Karidian the paper, and tells him to read it out. What, without even a lawyer present? You can just walk into someone’s room and make them take a possibly self-incriminating identity test? Man, space law is tough.

Karidian doesn’t look happy about this—unsurprisingly--but he’s not got much choice, so he takes the paper and begins to read from what is evidently a speech that Kodos gave. “The revolution is successful, but survival depends on drastic measures. Your continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society. Your lives mean slow death to the more valued members of the colony. Therefore I have no alternative but to sentence you to death. Your execution is so ordered, signed Kodos, governor of Tarsus 4.”

As he reads, he slowly looks away from the paper and stares into the distance, clearly no longer reading the words but remembering them, and the look on his face says that it is a sharp memory and a haunted one.

Kirk does not fail to notice this, and points it out to Karidian, who deflects by saying that he just learns lines very quickly. Kirk’s not buying that, and asks whether he didn’t instead “play the part in front of a captive audience, who you blasted out of existence without mercy.” At that, Karidian starts going into a spiel about how Kirk is just an example of a modern technology-driven society that lacks humanity, which he defines as being about striving to survive with our own resources. Which is an odd definition of humanity, but okay. He insists that Kodos only made a decision that had to be made, that those four thousand people had to die so the other half could live, and if the supply ships hadn’t turned up early, his actions might now be remembered as heroic. I dunno about that, man, it’s pretty hard to get people onboard with killing four thousand innocent people. Unless you convince them that they’re terrorists first.

Seeing that Kirk is not impressed with this argument, Karidian asks (loudly) why Kirk doesn’t just kill him now, if he’s so sure that Karidian is Kodos. Just execute him on the spot, eh? That sounds like something Kodos the Executioner would suggest! Got him!

But while Kirk might not be hewing real close to due process at the moment he hasn’t gone that far, so instead he presses Karidian on how there are no records of him prior to the date of Kodos’s supposed death. Karidian doesn’t really dispute this, choosing instead of muse about how he’s grown old and tired, memory failing him and grateful for it, and doesn’t really care about being alive anymore. Out, out, brief candle, and all that.

Then he asks Kirk if he got everything he wanted, and Kirk quietly says that if he had gotten everything he wanted, Karidian might not leave the room alive.

With that, Kirk turns to go, but before he can leave, Lenore emerges unexpectedly from a side door and ushers Karidian to go rest. Then she tells Kirk that “there’s a stain of cruelty on [his] shining armor” and accuses him of only using her as a tool to get to her father. Which, well, that is what he did. Kirk insists that it started out that way but that he wound up wanting a more genuine relationship, which is not really great consolation.

Lenore says that Kirk has no mercy in him, to which Kirk responds that if Karidian is Kodos, Kirk has shown him more mercy than he deserves. And if he isn’t Karidian, Lenore asks? Then the players will be let off at their destination and no harm done. Lenore protests that Kirk has no right to decide whether harm was done, and maybe that’s true—but her case is looking rather thin at the moment, because like with Karidian himself, her lack of reaction to her father being accused of being Kodos leaves little room for doubt. She makes no attempt to dispute Kirk’s claim, let alone respond to it with the kind of anger, shock and confusion that would be expected. I mean, let me put it this way: if I heard someone accusing my dad of being a mass murderer I would not be like “you have no mercy in you! you could have spared him this!” I would be like “WHAT the FUCK are you TALKING about.”

Elsewhere, away from all this high drama, McCoy is in Sickbay making a medical log about Riley. Apparently Riley’s recovered, but Kirk wants him restricted to Sickbay for the time being so he doesn’t have any encounters with Karidian, who, as McCoy helpfully adds, might be the guy who murdered Riley’s family. Unfortunately, Riley is right in the next room and overhears all of this. Whoops. I mean, on the one hand, this is what happens when you don’t have keyboards, but on the other hand, ya probably could have been just a wee bit more careful there, Bones.

Kirk gives a log telling us that Karidian is under surveillance, and that “strategic areas” are on double guard, but that the scheduled performance is still going ahead. Which seems a bit odd, but then I guess at least if the guy’s onstage you know he’s not off somewhere murdering somebody. Or some four thousand bodies. Evidently the Enterprise doesn’t have an auditorium that can seat four hundred people, though, because only a few people get to actually watch it in person—everyone else has to watch it being broadcast on a screen.

Lenore comes out on stage to inform the audience that they’re performing Hamlet, and also, please make sure you turn your communicators off during the show. She calls it a “violent play written in violent times when life was cheap and ambition was God.” Man, if I wrote that in a paper my Script Analysis professor would have laughed me out of the room.

Meanwhile, Kirk and Spock are examining the results of Karidian’s voice test. Is this virtually infallible computer test actually being done by the computer? No, it just printed out a couple of pieces of paper with soundwave patterns on them for Kirk and Spock to look at. Technology, ain’t it wonderful. Spock says it looks like a match, but Kirk says it’s not an exact match. Well, no, it wouldn’t be, the guy was twenty years older the second time. But Kirk says they’re dealing with a man’s life and no machine can make that decision. WELL THEN WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM TAKE THE TEST.

Over in Sickbay, McCoy is about to go to the play and stops in to remind Riley of something—to stay put, presumably—only to discover that Riley has vanished. Poor McCoy, he just can’t make anyone stay in Sickbay. They really need to put a door with a lock on that place.

McCoy immediately calls up Kirk and tells him that Riley’s gone, and that he might have overheard McCoy talking about Kodos. Right after that, security calls Kirk to tell him that someone broke into a weapons locker and took a phaser. Great job, security. Kirk puts out an alert for security to find Riley and keep him from murdering anyone, which I’m sure they’ll do quickly and competently.

Kirk slips backstage while Hamlet is having his encounter with the ghost of his father, as played by Karidian. Y’know, when I was in college, a group of traveling actors came and did a performance of Othello at our theatre, and their set design was just a white cloth running around the stage and a few chairs at the back. It worked incredibly well and the production was phenomenal. I’m just saying, just because you have a low budget and have to pack all your equipment around with you doesn’t mean your plays have to look like this.

[ID: A stage set with a cheap-looking ‘stone’ wall to the left, with windows facing into the red curtains. On the stage are Karidian, wearing a black belted robe with a silver cape slung off his right shoulder and holding an abstract metal mask in front of his face, and a man wearing a blue robe, bright red undershirt, enormous gold medallion, and what looks like a pink feather boa wrapped around one arm. Karidian is saying, “...when thou shalt hear.” ]

Backstage, Kirk spots Riley, sneaking up behind a flat with a phaser at the ready. Man, only five scenes in and already things are derailing pretty badly backstage. Could be worse though. At least nothing's on fire. Kirk tries to tell Riley to calm down and not kill someone on a suspicion, but Riley—despite presumably being a lot younger than Kirk when he saw Kodos—has none of Kirk’s hesitation about the issue. He remembers what Kodos looked and sounded like and he’s dead certain that Karidian is him.

Evidently he’s not all that ready to take justice into his own hands, though, because once Kirk gets over to him—crossing right in clear view of the audience, dammit Kirk! If you can see the audience they can see you!--he’s able to easily take the phaser away, and Riley leaves with little fuss.

Karidian takes his exit, and Lenore is waiting to tell him that he’s doing a great job, but Karidian is quite agitated. He tells Lenore that he’s being tormented by a voice from the past; there was “another part he played, long ago” and “now that same curtain rises again” because as we all know actors speak entirely in theatrical metaphors. But Lenore says no—after the performance, the last two people left who can harm him will be taken care of. Oh.

Judging by Karidian’s reaction, Lenore did not keep him in the loop about her witness-murdering activities. He grabs her and starts yelling, demanding to know what she’s done.

[ID: Karidian standing backstage behind some castle set pieces, holding up his hands and yelling, “More blood on my hands?” at Lenore, who is wearing a pink and yellow dress, and looking away with dismay.]

Dammit, Lenore! I just got the last damn spot out!

Lenore insists that it had to be done. She’s buried the ghosts of the past, and now there is no more blood on her father’s hands. That’s an interesting concept of justice you have there, Lenore. Karidian is distraught, and exclaims that Lenore was the only thing in his life not tainted by his crimes. Now he has nothing.

For some reason no one reacts to this rather loud confrontation taking place just offstage, which is also mysteriously bereft of, say, actors. You'd expect someone to have a reaction to this. Probably the stage manager. “GODDAMMIT I told you to stop talking backstage. The audience is going to hear you. They're going to SEE you if you don't quit hanging around blocking traffic back there. That is NOT THE PLACE to have a nervous breakdown. Lenore I don't care if you're having a dramatic revelation about your murderous role in covering up your father's past misdeeds, if you miss your cue I WILL SHOOT YOU MYSELF.”

Lenore is still grinning unnervingly and talking about how everything’s fine now, she’s taken care of everything, now no one can harm her wonderful, brilliant daddy. Kirk, who’s been listening in the whole time, has had enough, and tells them both to come with him. Lenore says they will after the show, but Kirk tells her the whole ‘the show must go on’ thing doesn’t apply to murder investigations.

She doesn’t take that one too well, and when Kirk summons a security guard (from...somewhere) she grabs the guard’s phaser and runs out onto the stage, sending the audience diving to the floor in panic. Kirk, Karidian, and the extremely useless security guard come after her, but stop as she turns the phaser on them. When Kirk tells her she’ll never make it off the ship, Lenore, who is clearly no longer on speaking terms with normal reality, says that then the ship will just go on drifting through space with Karidian’s ghost giving performances forever. Then she starts quoting Shakespeare, which is never a good sign.

Kirk tries to get close to her, but Lenore moves to fire—and Karidian dives in front of him. The phaser bolt hits him square in the chest and he goes down as Lenore screams in anguish. As Kirk steps forward to take the phaser away she collapses to the floor, kneeling over her father’s body, sobbing and feverishly babbling more Shakespeare at him while the audience stares in confused horror.

Well that brought the play to a rather abrupt halt, and so early on too. Still, I'm sure they could salvage it with a concerted effort. “Shit. Shit, did one of the actors just murder another one of the actors? Okay, no one panic, I've seen worse. Just keep going. Act like it was meant to happen. The audience won't know the difference if we play it cool. It's Hamlet, everyone dies anyway.”

Sometime later, McCoy comes to visit Kirk on the bridge to give him Lenore’s medical report. Apparently she remembers nothing and thinks Karidian’s still alive. McCoy says she’ll receive the best of care, which I hear has really improved in the Federation since they got rid of the brain-melty chair. He asks Kirk, “You really cared for her, didn’t you?” Kirk dodges the question, giving orders to leave orbit instead—but he gives McCoy a look which the doctor takes as an answer before he leaves the bridge, and the ship carries on through space.

It’s a weird way to wrap up the episode, if you ask me. This was a story about Kirk having to revisit a horrible event in his past, and struggle with questions of justice and revenge and what he has the right to do, and what the fallout of his suspicions could be for an innocent man if he is wrong, and if redemption is ever even possible for some crimes. I don’t expect them to wrap all that up in the last minute and a half, but it’s jarring to me that they went, “You know what we really need to focus on here out of all of that is the romance angle.” Perhaps I am biased, but why that should be considered inherently more interesting than everything else going on here is beyond me. Not to say that Kirk’s feelings about Lenore are not complicated and painful and probably quite worth examining, but there’s no question asked about how he feels about Kodos, a horrible figure from Kirk’s past risen again to haunt him, only to prove more complex than was thought, who then dies in a way that could offer no real catharsis for anyone.

I suppose you could say that McCoy was just way off the mark about how Kirk was feeling and didn’t ask the right question. But I’d like to think that McCoy--who has a medically educated understanding of the complexities of trauma, who has very strong feelings about the taking of life in any circumstance, and who has been through a scarring experience or two himself--would know better. Still, on the whole, it was a fine outing for TOS, giving us some interesting characters, great little character bits with our mains, and tackling some serious questions, even if the acting allegories got a little bit overwrought.

TREK TROPE TALLY: None once again. Next time, we’ll be getting our first look at some classic enemies in Balance of Terror.

#star trek #star trek TOS #star trek TOS season one #1.13 The Conscience of the King #recap tag #star trek TOS recaps #1.13 The Conscience of the King recap

37 notes · View notes

energeticathlete-blog · 5 years

Text

{{ Gonna put this under a cut cuz it’ll be lengthy and have images but IF YOU’RE CURIOUS ABOUT WHERE I’VE BEEN here’s my irl upate y��all }}

So, I’ve been pretty exhausted these last several months, to the point where I couldn’t get to my sweet ol’ blog here. I honestly could barely keep up with my normal day-to-day activities. So, what’s been going on? A lot, honestly. Let’s start from the beginning, which was about February. My oral health stuff was overwhelming. If you’re new or need a refresher (cuz it’s been a hot minute no lie), I had some major dental issues back in August/September last year. I had an infection that was clawing it’s way into my jaw, which can be incredibly dangerous. They did an emergency procedure to remove all the infected nerve and issue, which is great. But there was still a lot of work to go through to get my entire mouth up to snuff. I’m still not done with it all if you can believe that, and it’s almost been a year since this started. I haven’t gone in a few months though for irl reasons (which I’ll list shortly) and because I got switched to a new dentist that has a hard time making time for me. But at least I’m at a point where I can operate without pain, so there’s that. I had one of two surgeries back in April, which I am recovered from, so now I just gotta wait for the dental surgeon to get a hold of me so we can make a date for the second one. Alright, so dental stuff sucks and ate at a lot of my time from February until now. What else, you might ask? Cosplay. I decided to take on a huge project for Anime Central this year, which was Sylvanas Windrunner from Blizzard’s franchise of games, but particularly her World of Warcraft: Battle for Azeroth version. I hadn’t taken on such an ambitious project before, so I was really sweating to get it done before the con. There was a lot of new materials and methods I had to practice with when it came to this costume. Some of it worked well, some of it ended in blood and tears. But, despite it all, I got most of it done. Most, because I didn’t make her bow/quiver, but honestly, what mattered is that the outfit itself was presentable and good. It...had some complications as far as making it sit properly on my harness. But that’s what I get when I rig it all together in the hotel room on Friday/Saturday. This is the fruit of my labor from about March through May:

Hard to see but I had working LEDs and everything! I was so heccing proud of this honestly. There’s a ton I want to improve and upgrade on what I have, but honestly, I was just happen to get this out in time. Many sleepless nights were had, but it was worth it. Okay, so I was busy through May with this dental stuff AND the cosplay jazz. What about from end of May to now? I started focusing on my Patreon more--yeah, I have one of those! I use it for cosplay shoots, life updates, art stuff, etc. I had to sit down and do tutorials, make sure I record my methods for art and cosplay, and fulfill jazz on there. Here’s a little tidbit of what I’ve worked on (that I can share lol):

So, what else? Well, wonderful question. I hacked my hair off at some point because I got liquid rubber in it from creating Sylvanas (Plastidip can eat my whole ass) which was pretty weird for me cuz I’ve had long hair since middle school.

It feels...weird, but I also kinda like it. I hated short hair in middles school and vowed not to chop it off since then, but getting liquid rubber in your hair has a way of changing your perspective. I’m also a different person and have evolved from the ugly duckling I once was, so it feels a bit better having shorter hair now that I’m an adult. I had some irl family issues that I had to mitigate (I tend to be the level headed anchor in my family, so people come to me when disputes happen). That, and my birthday was actually in June! Long story short, my birthday is smack dab between two of my friends, so I had my get together the second to last weekend of June so the other girl could have the June 30th weekend (my actual birthday) for herself. Sadly, my get together started with a trampoline park...where I rolled my ankle. Badly. The ER tech who x-rayed my foot said I'd be lucky if my ankle wasn’t fractured. Well, luck was on my side and the doctor on staff confirmed it wasn’t fractured. However, I severely tore my ligament. I have to see an orthopedic doctor about it to determine the full damage, but she made it sound like physical therapy should be discussed. That was two weeks ago now and it’s still swollen and injured. I can walk on it finally but I can’t put more than my own weight on it without pain. I also can’t fully twist or extend my foot without strain either, so while I can safely walk on it, I’m playing it safe by not driving (I don’t trust myself to slam on the breaks in the event of an emergency) or wearing heels. It’s still super bruised and eggplant-y but it’s gotten better. I won’t show pics of it because feet are gross and my right foot is particularly nasty with bruising and swelling. And now we’ve come to present time! I’m just about to leave for a convention for the long weekend and won’t be back until Monday, but I’m putting my best foot forward fucking irony by returning to this blog now that the craziness has died down some. I do have some busy days to come, as I’ll be moving into a new place next month, but I won’t let that stop me from resuming my role as the energetic athlete and socializing with all y’all. Those who have known me before my hiatus and stayed--y’all the real MVPs. Those who recently followed me and have taken the time to read this--y’all the real MVPs too. Now that I’m back, I want to put the peddle to the metal and interact with all of you. Sorry I’ve been gone for so long--I’ll do my best now that I’ve returned! -- Lenore <3

#mun stuff #irl update #oh hey it me #here i am #sorry for being gone for so long #but at least I've returned?#Out of Adrenaline || OOC

2 notes · View notes

morbid-n-macabre · 6 years

Text

Robert Blake. This case is not as cut and dry as i originally thought.

Robert "Bobby" Blake was a child actor who played one of the little rascals. He has talked a lot about his father, apparently young Bobby was the one supporting his whole family and though that was his father's doing, dad greatly resented him for it. There was physical abuse aplenty in that home. He moved out at the age of 16 and supported himself from then on. As an adult he did something very difficult- he successfully transitioned from child to adult star. Robert starred in several movies and won an Emmy for his role on the 70's hit tv show Beretta- during this role he also gained the reputation of a hot head. I'm not much of a fan but I gotta admit he's an amazing actor- the problem is you never know when he's acting and when he's not.

Robert was first married to Sondra Kerr in 1961. The couple had 2 children, a son and a daughter named Noah and Delinah Blake. Sondra has reported that Robert was very abusive towards her. They divorced in 1983.

It wasn't until the late 90's when Robert met a younger woman by the name of Bonnie (or Bonny) Lee Bakley. I never speak ill of the dead in my posts, but in this case it's important to tell what kind of person Bonnie really was- it's very relevant that the woman had quite a few enemies. Bonnie's "business" was scamming people. She would place personal ads or respond to ads she read, sweet talk the men she was writing to, and send them Pornography. Bonnie would write a single letter, copy it by hand, and send it to many different men. She'd pretend to be someone other than herself, she kept different mailboxes all over the country. She gave these men sob stories, told them how badly she needed money for this or that tragedy. She made promises to these men, told them she'd come to see them if they'd help her through her problem, financially. Maybe she'd say her car was broke down; or that her kid was sick- she always needed money. Then she'd turn around and blackmail these men with anything she could use against them. If she believed a man was wealthy enough, she actually did meet him- hell some she married. One woman who came forward says Bonnie married her grandfather and took him for 80K. Then she stole the grand daughter's identity and began scamming men using her name- on top of that she absolutely destroyed this woman's credit. Bonnie did this to several women, she kept several different drivers licenses on her. Some men made her beneficiary of their life insurance, others cut their families out of their will and added Bonnie. This is how she supported herself, in the pre internet era she made 300K a year doing this! Bonnie had been in serious legal trouble for her scams, arrested multiple times for drugs, writing checks, and fraud. But her real ambitions went much further than scamming lonely men through the mail. She wanted to be rich and she thought the way to do this was to trap a celebrity. She was known to stalk older celebs, targeted big names such as Frankie Valli, Dean Martin, Gary Busey, among others. She badly wanted to be a part of Hollywood; her close friends say that her goal was to get knocked up by a celeb, and she did just that. More than once, she claimed. The first time was the infamous Jerry Lee. She said he fathered her 3rd child- Jerry's sister says she believes her brother paid Bonnie a settlement. It was determined through a DNA test that this girl did not even belong to Jerry. Later, when she was sleeping with Robert, she was also with Marlon Brando's son, Christian.

Bonnie met Christian Brando while he was in prison for manslaughter- he shot and killed his sister's boyfriend. Bonnie began writing him, chatting him up, sending him porn. When Christian was released, the two dated. Christian thought he and Bonnie were in an exclusive relationship. He was wrong- Bonnie was also sleeping with Robert Blake.

Bonnie told Robert she was on birth control, she could not get pregnant. This was a blatant lie- a friend would later admit she was actually undergoing fertility treatment. When Bonnie became pregnant she told both men that the baby was theirs. Robert did not want another child at all, especially with a woman who had purposely tried to trap him- he knew what she'd done to Jerry Lee. He was pissed, he wanted her to abort the baby. Bonnie originally agreed, but then refused. All along she allowed Christian to believed the child was his, and when the little girl was born Bonnie named her Christian Shannon Brando. Christian bonded with the baby he believed was his. A DNA test was not given until later when Robert saw a picture of the child and he realized she looked just like him. DNA proved that Robert was the father, and baby Christian Shannon Brando was renamed Rose Lenore Sophia Blake- Rosie for short. Christian Brando was understandably pissed, he Is quoted for telling Bonnie, "You're lucky somebody ain't out there to put a bullet in your head".

Once Robert knew Rosie was his, he would've done any and every thing in his power to keep her near. Though it doesn't appear he even liked the woman, Robert married Bonnie- obviously a marriage of convenience. There was an air tight prenup in which Bonnie agreed to give up her "business" of scamming men.

Just a few months after they wed, Bonnie was dead.

May 4th of 2001. On this night, Robert took Bonnie to dinner at his favorite fancy Italian restaurant, Vitello's. After they had eaten, the couple walked out to the car. Robert claims he left Bonnie sitting in the passenger seat of his car after he realized he'd forgotten his gun inside the restaurant. When he returned to the car, Bonnie was bleeding profusely. Though Robert said he thought she'd been beaten up, she'd been shot. She was gurgling when Robert found her; by the time the ambulance reached her she was dead. Bonnie was 44 years old.

By all accounts Robert ran around like a chicken with his head cut off- he went to a nearby residence to ask for help, he then ran back to the restaurant for help. He was screaming, crying, even vomiting- just hysterical. Some say this was his best acting yet.

During a search of Robert's home, Police found 12K cash inside one of his dressers. There was also a box of bullets just like the ones that killed Bonnie- in the 100 count box exactly 3 were missing. That's exactly the amount of bullets that was used in the murder.

Robert did have motive, all the motive in the world. The star had found that Bonnie was still scamming people, which he absolutely despised. Friends say he was very afraid that Rosie was destined to have a horrible life if Bonnie raised her, that she'd become a scam artist like her mother- he expressed concern that Rosie would become a prostitute. But there really wasn't any concrete evidence against the star. It was all circumstantial- like why did he take the woman he hated out to dinner? Why not park closer to the restaurant? His leaving a gun in the restaurant while his wife was shot made him look so guilty. He told police that he was packing heat because there had been threats against Bonnie's life, that there had been attempts to kill her. There was some gunshot residue on him when police tested him that night, and a friend of Bonnie's said that right before her death Bonnie confided she was afraid Robert was going to kill her. Still, he may never have been charged with the murder at all had a couple of stuntmen named Robert Hambleton and Gary McLarty not told police that Robert had tried to hire them to kill Bonnie- and there was proof that Robert had called them. The year after Bonnie's death, Robert was arrested for her premeditated murder.

Of course Robert was wealthy, he could afford the best defense money could buy. We all know that goes a long way in a murder trial. The defense team managed to discredit the stuntmen. About that gunshot residue- I'm not a forensics kind of girl, I enjoy the psychology of murder. But this is how i heard this explained: There was very little gunshot residue on Robert that night- just 5 gunshot particles. But the gun that was used to kill Bonnie, a German WW2 handgun found in a dumpster near the scene, was old and left a lot more residue than usual. The weapon was tested and found to leave 2,440 residue particles when fired twice. So while there was a bit of residue, it wasn't a red herring. The defense claimed that the residue found on Robert that night could've been from handling a different gun, he was a gun enthusiast who had a license to carry. Prosecution claimed he must've gotten rid of it somehow, wiped it off or something.

It's more than likely that some of the jurors thought he probably did it, there just wasn't enough evidence to find him guilty of capital murder- especially in a death penalty case. In March of 2005, Robert was found not guilty of Bonnie's murder.

Just months after the murder trial was over, not unlike OJ, Robert was promptly taken to civil court where it is much easier to be found guilty. In November of '05, Robert was found liable for his wife's wrongful death, he was ordered to pay Bonnie's children 30 Mil- an appeal knocked that figure down to 15 million. After all the lawyer fees and paying Bonnie's family, he was bankrupt. Robert was poor for the first time in his life, depressed, cooped up in his small dwelling where he became a hermit- he spoke to no one. Rosie, who is 18 today, was reportedly raised by Delinah Blake, Robert's adult daughter. They have had zero contact with their father. The latest news on Robert Blake was last year when he filed for a marriage license to marry a long time friend, 55 y/o Pamela Hudak. There's no news on whether the two actually did wed.

Whatever Bonnie did in life does not make her deserving of this ending. Very few people deserve that. I do apologize for trashing her, but it's important to realize how many enemies she had. While Robert had plenty of motive, he wasn't the only one- she had quite a few victims herself. My opinion on this case has changed considerably since i began researching this. If you asked me last week what i thought of Robert Blake, I'd have said guilty. I'm not so sure now. If he did do it, which is very possible, I believe he paid someone. I don't believe he physically pulled the trigger. I do not blame the jury- I doubt I'd have convicted him with the death penalty on the table, either. If they'd have tried him without the death penalty option, he may have been convicted. Maybe he'll make a death bed confession some day. Though that's unlikely- he's too narcissistic. If Christian Brando had a part in this, It's unlikely we will ever know. He's already deceased- as are both stuntmen.

What do you think?

13 notes · View notes

detrevniwrit · 7 years

Text

re: kacchako is bad (responses)

oh my god I'm going to answer all of these in one post because it’s been a freaking long day and i have no desire to answer each individual permutation of the same sentiments over and over again

read more this time bc it didn’t seem clear enough last time by the bolded ‘kacchako is bad title’ that you can scroll past if you’re sensitive to criticism because this is a criticism of kacchako.

Concern:

Don’t tag it in the ship tag if it’s hate! Just blacklist it if it bothers you so much. People can ship it if they want, don’t be mean/an asshole! :(

Answer:

I can't believe I'm getting "let people ship what they want don't spread hate it's never worth it" msgs in this year of our lord 2017. Don't moralize down to me about spreading hate and quit acting as if I went into people’s inboxes to harass and specifically be mean to them. I used the tag, yes, but I did it to bring kacchako fans’ attention to legitimate concerns I have about the ship’s consequences, and I made my opinion very explicit in the bolded title of the post so people can scroll past if they’re sensitive. I thought it was worth the risk to my sanity to make sure that people who aren't as sensitive to criticism won’t just ignore that there are important issues with kacchako because it’s easier, or because they just don’t know/never thought about it. (I’m now partially feeling it wasn’t worth it, but determined to stand by my points)

Concern:

I think kacchako is fine and I don’t defend abuse! I just imagine them in a place where Bakugou is grown up and not abusive anymore and Ochako doesn’t take that shit!

Answer:

It has occurred to me that it’s rarely anyone’s intention to support abuse, which is why I bothered to write the original post at all. To reiterate my argument so I don’t get confused ‘kacchako is not abusive’s in my inbox, I’m not saying that kacchako is inherently abusive. I’m saying that as Izuku’s friend, Ochako wouldn’t be motivated to date Bakugou specifically because he bullies Izuku and has abusive tendencies towards her friend, and because she’s someone who cares about Izuku’s wellbeing she wouldn’t be interested in someone who continues to unapologetically treat Izuku like that.

There is no ‘she secretly likes Bakugou’ right now, or vice versa. She just wants to catch up to Izuku. And Bakugou does not respect her more than he sees her as a threat.

To the reimagining future Bakugou part: again, I doubt anyone has the intention to erase Izuku’s experience as a victim of Bakugou’s bullying. I’m saying that no one writes Bakugou changing from a bully into a better person respectfully or realistically. Most interpret Bakugou’s one interaction with Ochako (in which he considers her a legitimate threat to beat) as an indicator of Bakugou beginning to change because of Ochako, even if after this interaction he’s still only interested in winning and dominating over others and if people are potentially in his way.

Let me give you a definition of domestic abuse (my bolding):

"domestic abuse occurs whenever one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t ‘play fair.’ Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.”

All kacchako shippers imagine a future Bakugou as someone who automatically deserves forgiveness for not being an asshole anymore, most likely due to Ochako keeping him in line, and not a single one has been able to describe, in informed detail, about how hard it is to change abusive behavior.

“In discussing why abusers abuse, it’s clear that a lot of the causal factors behind these behaviors are learned attitudes and feelings of entitlement and privilege — which can be extremely difficult to truly change. [...] While we hope abusive partners will change, it’s not always realistic to expect that they can and will. Focus on changes you can control to improve your own life, because you deserved to feel loved, happy and safe.”

Signs of progress of changing abusive behavior include (some bolded for what I think kacchako shippers particularly don’t take into account often when characterizing future Bakugou):

Admitting fully to what they have done

Stopping excuses and blaming

Making amends

Accepting responsibility and recognizing that abuse is a choice

Identifying patterns of controlling behavior they use

Identifying the attitudes that drive their abuse

Accepting that overcoming abusiveness is a decades-long process — not declaring themselves “cured”

Not demanding credit for improvements they’ve made

Not treating improvements as vouchers to be spent on occasional acts of abuse (ex. “I haven’t done anything like this in a long time, so it’s not a big deal)

Developing respectful, kind, supportive behaviors

Carrying their weight and sharing power

Changing how they respond to their partner’s (or former partner’s) anger and grievances

Changing how they act in heated conflicts

Accepting the consequences of their actions (including not feeling sorry for themselves about the consequences, and not blaming their partner or children for them)

Making Bakugou an adult does not change that you need to write him checking his abusive behavior.

Concern:

But Bakugou has changed at this point in the manga---he and Izuku now have an understanding of trust and respect.

Answer:

Bakugou has only demonstrated one instance that he could be changing. Though change for Bakugou is a good and decidedly difficult feat, one instance does not an abusive pattern break.

Let me direct you to the classic cycle of abuse by psychologist Lenore Walker, with helpful manga caps from Ch. 117-121:

1) Tension building phase

2) Acute battering phase (in which Izuku absolutely does not want to fight at first until he feels obligated to)

3) Honeymoon phase

“The abuse may be terrible, but the promises and generosity of the honeymoon phase give the victim the false belief that everything will be all right.”

Secondly, to the aforementioned abuse-changing bullets Bakugou has not achieved up to after he’s fought with Izuku Ch. 117-121:

Admitting fully to what they have done

Accepting responsibility and recognizing that abuse is a choice

Accepting that overcoming abusiveness is a decades-long process — not declaring themselves “cured”

Thirdly, to what he is beginning to do

Stopping excuses and blaming

Carrying their weight and sharing power

I concede that Bakugou is making steps towards change because he is a hardheaded egoistic teenager who up to this point hadn’t offered help out of his own volition. But if you’re taking this as a sign that he’s anywhere near lasting and permanent change, even years from now---I almost literally just wrote a foot of text and references as to why that isn’t realistic or respectful towards the realities of abusive behavior. Please realize you are likely oversimplifying his path towards change.

Concern:

Not all kacchako shippers are like that! I know (insert fanworks here) that are respectful, good, etc,

Answer:

Show me. I’m more than willing to take a look and then give you my detailed opinion afterwards, if you’d like.

Concern:

I’m not trying to force a het agenda, I just like the dynamic.

Answer:

I mentioned before that people may not realize their intentions don’t match up with consequences. I just wrote more than 2 hours worth explaining why kacchako doesn’t have a sensical basis for a good relationship and am considering just passing out on the spot right at this moment in sheer exhaustion. I’m just going to post screenshots that actually do have the aforementioned good qualities and ask politely that you consider these respective Ochako and Katsuki ships, instead of kacchako het, which endorses a contrived relationship over not straight ones that actually have a basis of mutual affection in canon:

Fuck, if you really really want to ship Uraraka with a guy Iida and/or Midoriya have plenty of shared affection and solid relationships with her, I trust you don’t need me to screen cap to know that.

Concern:

If Bakugou is so problematic, wouldn’t any ship with him be problematic (including kiribaku)?

Answer:

Finally a good question. I would say yes and no. Yes, because if you’re a survivor of abuse it’s perfectly valid and understandable not to want to think about Bakugou and his potential romantic partners at all. No, for a variety of reasons, using kiribaku as an example:

a) Bakugou and Kirishima are established friends with a relatively healthy, mutual relationship. Bakugou has a foul temper but he’s not abusive towards Kirishima, even going out of his way to---admittedly badly---help him study (above caps from the manga and light novel); Kirishima admires Bakugou, finds positive qualities in their friendship, and isn’t cowed, wary, or disgusted by him, like Ochako or Izuku and many others are. tl;dr, there is plenty of solid evidence to back up the mutual affection, respect, and trust between them, something that kacchako and---god forbid---bakudeku lack.

It’s actually good for Bakugou to learn how to develop uncontrolling behaviors through healthy relationships where he doesn't feel the need to dominate over his partner. He can’t do this with Ochako, with whom he regards as nonexistent at best, and a threat to him as Izuku’s lackey at worst (I discussed this in detail further up). Referring back to the changing abusive behavior list, Bakugou’s relationship with Kirishima demonstrates that Bakugou can learn a) respectful, kind, supportive behaviors and b) carrying weight and sharing power. This doesn’t justify how Bakugou treats others, but it does facilitate a view of how Bakugou would be able to treat others better, which I think is worth exploring.

Concern:

Why do you care so much? People ship bad/problematic stuff all the time lol there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Just let it be or blacklist it or something??

Answer:

I’m maybe foolishly invested in the idea that some people don’t have to be like that when they’re informed and engaged in critical discourse, and well fuck I have time and resources and have already started two godamned things this weekend with fandom out of probably masochistic impulses, so why the fuck not.

Just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean I’m here to attack people or be unwilling to talk to them about it---rather, I’m more concerned that people are so unwillingly to talk about why the things they like isn’t good??

Kacchako is just one instance. I can provide a lot more examples of this kind of behavior in different areas of interest, in detail, with plenty of support and reasons, over private message. Otherwise, I’m not interested in making a detailed -post- of examples of bad kacchakos because honestly, I’ve already spent a lot of my time writing this when I could be discussing more pressing issues. The downsides of hyper focus.

On that note, forgive me if I don’t immediately respond to further replies any time soon after this post. After more than 10 messages that entirely missed the point I’ve exhausted myself thinking people could put aside their first impulses and self-indulgences to maybe formulate better opinions on tumblr.com, rather than sending me vague, misinformed, and/or childishly defensive insults that don’t actually tell me I’m wrong.

#bnha #kacchako #abuse mention /#long post #super fucking long #any more replies will be directed to this post unless theres actually something new for someone to tell me #13 pages of irritation and hyper focus and meticulous attention to detail

31 notes · View notes