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shadebloopnik · 23 days

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Angelic Alastor AU

"Al!"

The angel turned to the voice and the sound of flapping wings just in time to see the two Archangels land behind him. The smaller of the two- with porcelain skin, rosy cheeks and an otherworldly beauty, bounded towards him full of energy. Golden eyes peered up at him as he spoke.

"Just finished with our spar, and Michael said he loved the hat! I told you it was a good idea!", Lucifer spoke, deep chuckles seeming to brighten the area by its mere presence. He punctuated his words by adjusting the top hat on his head, replacing the usual golden crown, a prideful smile on his face.

"Your brothers clearly love you too much.", Alastor snipes before facing the taller angel, and giving a polite bow. "Your Highness."

Michael gives a solemn nod, adorning a small soft smile. "Always good to see you, Altruist. I had ample time before my next meeting, so I figured I'd accompany my brother on his way to your little appointment."

Michael bore nearly identical features to his younger brother, possessing the same blonde locks, white skin, and golden eyes, albeit being considerably taller. What he lacked, falling a bit behind Lucifer's beauty, he made up for with his dignified grace, a regal authority that rivalled no other. He reminded Alastor of a frozen tundra amidst the plans for the creation of life, as precise as every detail on each snowflake.

"Very well that you did, your Grace, as your brother appears to need it quite a lot."

"It was ONE time! And your directions were very unclear!"

"I fail to see how 'meet me at the gates' translates to 'circle the entirety of heaven for 3 hours', my friend."

"There are a lot of gates in heaven! No matter! They just finished constructing the new nebula! We gotta check it out Alastor! Come on!", Lucifer said, practically bouncing on his feet in excitement and circling the other in flight before dashing off in a burst of speed.

Michael let out a rare chuckle as Alastor sighed in seeming annoyance.

"Always so sprightly, makes me wonder how you keep up with it all, Altruist.", the Archangel spoke, stepping to stand beside the red eyed angel.

"Trust me Sire, its tempting not to follow.", Alastor replied, deadpan as he set his gaze to the direction the Morningstar set off on. Left alone with the other Archangel, without Lucifer with him, Alastor couldn't help but feel a bit insecure. Shuffling his mismatch wings, he subtly moved the upper white set to cover the red and black wings below, his hold on his cane, tightening ever so slightly, though not enough for Michael to notice.

Michael smiled, finding no offense whatsoever from Alastor's words and the casualty of his jabs towards Lucifer. Despite his words, Michael could see the fondness Alastor possessed for the shorter angel, clear as day. Alastor was powerful, only ranking below the Archangels themselves in sheer strength, and would be of higher standing if not for his reclusive nature.

He always wore a smile wherever he went, but it was different for Lucifer, softer, fuller. Alastor shied away from any interaction with his angelic kind, but fully welcomes Lucifer's presence, seeking it, even. It was without a doubt that Alastor cared for his younger brother, his loyalty and selflessness when it came to the younger angel was palpable, fitting of his title, and for that, he had Michael's complete and utter respect.

"But you will, you always do.", Michael turned to face the angel, golden eyes meeting peculiar red. "Its why I trust you with his life."

Its a bit ridiculous perhaps, considering Lucifer was far more powerful than Alastor could ever be, but in the end, it mattered little. Alastor held his brother's heart, and Michael could guess it rang true vice versa.

Alastor's smile froze on his face, his sharp tongue silent as he gazed into the Archangel. A bout of silence passed, broken only by the Morningstar barreling back into Alastor at high speed.

"Alastor come on slow-wings! Hah! Get it? Slow? Wings? Come on, its hilarious, lets goooo!!", Lucifer bounced, gripping at the taller angel's arm, making a show of pulling him along. Evidently he didn't use much force, seeing as how Alastor wasn't immediately carried off, but it was enough to drag the angel rather quickly still.

"Later Michael!", the star spoke with a cheerful wave, before speeding off, dragging a squawking Alastor behind him as the other hastily flapped his mismatched wings, as he struggled to keep up.

Michael smiled at the scene, before turning to leave for his meeting.

Protect his heart, Alastor, it's all I ask of you.

_________________________

The wind roughly brushed the trees around them, as 3 pairs wings fluttered to land, every flap bringing forth powerful gusts. Michael surveyed the area as he went down to Earth, a mossy swamp littered with fireflies, blues and greens seeming to glow under the night sky. He wrenched his eyes down. He couldn't bear to look at a star right now, not after....

He shook the thought away, marching to look for the angel he was looking for. He'd been searching for hours, burning through the whole day. Alastor truly was a recluse, he was impossible to locate when he didn't want to be found. This was the last place he didn't look yet. They'd let Alastor design these swamps, letting him have at least a little hand in the creation of Earth despite his numerous refusals.

There at the edge, he could see him, standing at the edge of the water, mismatched wings cocooning him, the white set covering his entirety until his black wings were nearly out of sight.

"Altruist."

Alastor remained silent, his back to the Archangel. It was perhaps the most disrespectful thing Alastor's ever done to him, what with all his usual obsession with propriety.

"Altruist.", he called again, voice growing desperate, frustrated.

Still, there was no answer.

Michael clenched his teeth, the day's proceedings catching up to him, leaving him with far, far too many emotions.

"Alastor-"

"Don't."

Alastor's voice was cold, an icy tone that rivalled his own. It made Michael angry, frustrated and bitter. Can't Alastor see that he's hurting too? That he's also grieving?

"I lost him too, Alastor."

His voice was filled with emotion he wouldn't dare name. He had to be strong and steady for his brothers, for the rest of heaven. Im front of Alastor though? In matters regarding Lucifer? There was no one Michael could relate to more.

So why can't Alastor see? Did he think this was easy for Michael?! He lost his brother too! He's not the only one suffering!

But deep inside, Michael knew. It wasn't the same. He knew how deep the bond between Alastor and Lucifer ran, perhaps deeper than he ever had with his brother.

Michael's heart was already given to Heaven as a whole, but Alastor's only belonged to one.

"Tell me Michael, whose life did you entrust to me, again?", Michael felt ice crawl up his spine, his heart growing heavier with each word. Alastor spun around, unfurling his wings to face the Archangel. His crimson eyes were redder than usual.

"How, pray tell, am I supposed to do what you asked, when you cast down the one I was supposed to protect? Tell me how can I protect him from the fiery pits you all threw him into? How, am I supposed to GO ON WITHOUT-!"

'Without them', he almost said. No, he couldn't be reckless, couldn't let his emotions get the better. They couldn't know about his own relations with Lilith, he promised the two he'd stay safe. No matter how much it ached, he couldn't go against them.

Michael furrowed his brows in understanding, letting the accusations wash over him. If it were anyone else, he'd have already smote them down for the audacity, but this was Alastor. This was the angel who held his brother's heart; angry and emotional and dreadfully loyal to the star even now. If anything, in respect for his brother, he could endure this.

Schooling his expression, he'd gaze back at the fuming angel before him, his face a blank slate.

"Lucifer's actions were reckless and destructive, with severe consequences. His reckless disobedience, his affiliation with the first woman, its shattering the very foundation of order we worked so hard to maintain. Such crimes cannot go unpunished."

His voice was cold, adopting the mask of a ruthless prince. Right now, he wasn't a brother, he was Michael, Sword of Justice, Protector of Heaven. He had to learn to separate each title, it was the only way to ensure he did his role right. He can't be a brother right now. He won't, not for this.

He wishes it made it hurt less.

As emotionally compromised as he was, Alastor couldn't mask the pain in his face as he squeezed his eyes shut at Michael's tone, knowing he was now speaking to a soldier, not a friend. The sight of it almost made Michael want to break down the mask. Almost. Not nearly enough to actually do so. He was able to bear casting down his own brother, this was nothing.

The thought sent another pang to his heart, and he pushed it to the back of his mind.

"I love him too..", his voice was low, resigned, all energy leaving him as he looked away from the angel before him. Michael was so so tired. "It had to be done."

The swaying of the leaves and the buzz of nearby fireflies were the only things breaking the deafening silence. Now that he thought about it, didn't Lucifer help make these? Little bursts of light flying amidst a darkened swamp...

Why must everything hurt Michael today?

He heard the other take a deep breath, and turned to see the other adopt a smile. It didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Thank you for your visit, your Highness. You may take your leave now."

Alastor always smiled, even when he didn't mean it, but none of those ever felt as wrong as this one.

"Alas-"

Michael cut off his own words at the other's glare. Alastor's eyes glowed a deep red, his sclera giving its own crimson glow. His glowing wings seemed to curl closer around him. All this while still keeping on that damned smile. It was uncomfortable. It served little to intimidate someone as powerful as Michael, but this wasn't about power.

He's never seen Alastor look so broken.

He may be set apart from the other angels, but he always looked so happy with Lucifer.

......but Lucifer isn't here anymore, is he?

Suppressing a sigh, Michael kept his voice level. ".....Altruist."

Alastor's smile only seemed to widen, contrasting with how his wings curled tighter around himself in a cocoon.

"I wish to be alone. Now.", the deceptively cheerful tone made Michael sick.

Without another word Michael turned around. There was no fixing this. Alastor looked as though a single action would cause him to flee. If Michael didn't take his leave, he'd have left anyway. All Alastor wanted was Lucifer, and Lucifer was condemned in Hell. There's nothing he could do.

As he spread out his wings, he took one last glance at Alastor's smiling face, before taking off, ignoring the muffled sounds of sobbing he left in his wake.

It was the last time he's ever seen Alastor smile.

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ready-to-obeyme · 4 years

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[OM!] Angel!AU Demon Brother as Your Guardian Angel

Scenario: Residing as angels in the Celestial Realm, the brothers have been assigned to watch over you to guide and protect you. How they do so is up to their discretion. (And if they fall in love with you, well...)

Note: gender neutral headcanons; if i had to choose a timeline, satan exists but belphie doesnt hate humans yet and lilith is alive 🤪, the boys retained their personalities that we all know and love -- it really just be them with guardian angel duties--- bonus angel is Lilith ;)

inspiration from [link] and their other angel!au videos (they’re all adults in this post btw) and [link] (yes just this post; apparently my guardian angel Lucifer is in awe of me... for being dumb as FUCK--)

Lucifer

a little affronted he has to take time to look after a human as a seraph but doesn't vocalize it as much since it's direct orders from his father

isn't one to directly intervene in your life much because he doesn't see the need to nor does he want to; a little haughty ngl about being an angel and you being a human

there is no guideline to being a guardian angel and making sure you don’t die before your time is his Main Priority

he's not going to stop you from eating a whole family sized Dorito bag by yourself or from staying awake till 4am-- those bad decisions are on YOU

finds a little pleasure from seeing the consequences of your actions for a while, but eventually just judges you for everything you do

"why aren't you studying? isn't the midterm tomorrow?"

"when was the last time this human ate?"

"why are you dating that person?"

grumbles over you and your life choices, but is now just actually concerned and hoping you'll be able to make better choices for your own health and happiness; he is now officially Invested as Guardian Angel, don’t you dare laugh at him Michael

if he does utilize his powers to influence you, it comes in subtle hints-- the wind blowing in your hair so you look a certain direction, a sudden bright light to wake you up so you sleep properly in a bed and not a desk... maybe appearing in your room for just a moment to place a blanket over your shoulders

realizes he has… feelings when you perform a good deed or grow as a person and he feels immensely proud and happy for you; has to really keep himself in check to not intervene in your life in more menial, though still helpful, ways

humbled by your growth and change as you become a better person

finally reveals himself to you (by accident) when he has to physically come and save you from danger and then proceeds to yell at you in anger (read: worry) about safety and doesn’t leave your side

Mammon

similarly to Lucifer, grumbles about having to take time to babysit a human but quickly becomes invested in your life at record speed (typical Mammon)

unnecessarily and excessively worried at times even for things that isn't actually putting you in danger

"WHAT THE HELL HUMAN, LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET--"

"NO NO NO, BRING YOUR PEPPER SPRAY WITH YOU! I don't care if you’re just walking to the adjacent apartment, BRING IT!"

eventually just ends up storming down to the human realm and """attempts""" to be subtle

if you placed the spray on the table, you turn and it's in your bag again. weird.

pretty sure you could have done a pretty good paranormal activity video with the weird stuff happening in your life when mammon is not-so-secretly intervening in your life

attempts do not last long because mammon's patience grows thin and he suddenly pops into your life and demand you be more careful

probably meets you by slapping your hand away from buying another random but expensive plushie even though you can barely afford it and you just stare at him like he's crazy as he explains that he's your guardian angel

'My Guardian Angel as My Roommate' becomes the title of your life or alternatively 'My Guardian Angel and I are Both Idiots'

the genre of your life is now officially a rom com

his main excuse for being constantly at your side (and it's NOT because he likes you a lot) is "how else am I gonna be prepared to protect you from anything that wants to hurt you?? you would have died 1000x over without me" which is a lie but it's okay he pays rent

hold his hand and tell him it’s so you don’t get lost and he’ll blush but never let go of your hand

Leviathan

life is a simulation

or rather, your life is

once he gets assigned to you, he observes you for a while-- and it looked like he was going to leave you be for the most part, when one Bad Choice has him popping up right in front of you

he slaps away the tub of ice cream you were gonna binge eat

"human, stop eating that crap! your stats are gonna suffer!!!"

super insistent in telling you to do something that good for you and is pretty stubborn when it comes to decisions that benefit your health and career

"noob, hurry up and level up your intelligence or you're gonna fail your exams"

"is life a game to you"

"yes, and you are losing. but have no fear, I am your walkthrough."

joking aside, Levi is pretty supportive of you, in the way Belphie is to his human-- he just words things in gaming terms like stats, energy, leveling up, exp

did not expect to get gratitude from this gig, but when you express your true appreciation for his care, he doesn't know what to do (starts crying maybe?)

his advice starts veering away from just lifestyle and health but to more human aspects; he offers a listening ear and supportive compliments whenever needed

because it turns out he cares for you a whole lot more than if this was really all just a game to him and ends up caring about your general happiness and is more considerate about your feelings

Finds himself being super casual with you and talking about your favorite show and has to catch himself from speaking so quickly-- can’t have the human thinking he… adores you

Satan

has no qualms with coming to the human realm to watch over you, but is fine with not immediately being a part of your life or intervening as much as Mammon or Belphie

ironically, as a man who was originally never born as an angel, he does his duties in a manner most befitting manner of one

subtly inserts himself into small parts of your life, persisting off small interactions

he's the guy at the counter when you needed to find a book, he's the one who picks up your hydroflask and returns it to the lost and found, he's the one telling you your backpack is open before anything spills out

he doesn't know but you jokingly dub him your guardian angel, even if you don't know who he actually is but never have the courage to speak up-- also mainly because he flits in and out of your life so fast you don’t even have the chance to say “oh, by the way, what’s your name?”

Satan is content with how he is more of a passing moment in your life, so this way you can still live your life the way you want it without much interference from an outside source because he respects your choices and the concept of free will that all humans have

truly believes that the best course of action and his duty as your guardian angel is to see you live your life the way you want to-- and if can help out a little or give you a little nudge in the right way, then that’s fine by him

Prefers to be on the sidelines and watch you become your own person and-- well, it’s a bit hard not getting attached to you when he sees you trip over yourself over someone you like or help someone out with their books when they dropped them

eventually does have to step in in a more meaningful way when you accidentally endanger yourself and he wards it off or catches you before you hurt yourself

at that point it was hard to pretend not being a part of your life when he's helped you so often-- and the fact that you're infatuated with him and asked him out

(he probably doesn't even realize how suave and prince charming he looks lmao)

Asmodeus

chooses to watch over you from above more but doesn't mind just popping down to the human realm just to have some fun at the same event you're in

lives through all your moments with you; laughs when you laugh and cries when you cry and genuinely enjoys seeing you go through life, living and learning

generally leaves you to your own devices unless there's something really pressing

utterly cannot stop himself from intervening if you have doubts about yourself or if you struggle with self-love

loves appearing in dreams to dish out advice and tell you to love yourself, forgive yourself more, and to seek happiness because you deserve it

you don't remember the dreams exactly, but you do remember the sentiment within it and sometimes the fuzzy image of a beautiful angel you aren't sure you've seen irl but you chalk it up to seeing the face of strangers you’ve seen (which is... technically true)

dreams are his main way of communicating with you, and he also just thinks the mystery and anonymity is kinda exciting-- but sometimes he just spends a lot of your dreams just talking to you and getting to know you more intimately and seeing things from your perspective

sometimes enjoys being in your lucid dreams when you’re pretty aware and you go on some really whacky dream-induced adventure

loves you like no other and truly wishes the best for you

accidentally reveals himself to you during a party where you meet face to face

"I've feel like I've seen you before…"

"Haha, well that's because I've been in your dreams! They were pretty pleasant weren't they?"

you think he’s kidding for a long time-- and honestly he’s not even trying to hide the fact that he’s your Guardian Angel, considering he tells you all the time “Honey, I’m you’re Guardian Angel” or “Of course I’m here for you! I’m your Guardian Angel!”

but the way he says it makes it feel like that’s just a nickname, not an official TITLE

floored when you actually see his WINGS and turns out you’ve been in love with an actually angel this entire time

Beelzebub

similar to Asmo and Satan, he doesn't really feel the need to insert himself into your life

instead, he's wherever you are… but in the background, eating at a table in a far corner or walking casually across the street from where you are

very inconspicuous and surprisingly good at keeping a distance, whether he intends to or not

he just looks very natural doing whatever he is doing at any time, but often accidentally ends up in the background of a photo or selfie without people noticing

as your Guardian Angel, he watches over you by stopping anyone with ill intent from approaching you... like the obvious ones like mugging and stuff; he wishes he could protect you from bad people too but he respectfully keeps his distance and allows you to make mistakes and grow from it

it infuriates him when people take advantage of your kindness

(though if the person that hurt you emotionally meets Beel in an alley...)

is very taken aback when YOU are the one approaching HIM asking for the time or if you could grab something on the high shelf for you

actually pretty flustered when you do interact with him because he was distracted doing other stuff he never expected you to notice him

Beel is the definition of a Guardian Angel-- a sentinel, standing on guard to protect you from danger and physical harm-- and he does exactly that when the time comes

most likely to save you from something dramatic like a car incoming or a fight

doesn't really understand why you trust him so easily or so wholeheartedly even after he saved you because he thought he would look intimidating

(he did, until you asked him for the time and he spoke with his mouth full of burgers or stammered out a 'you're welcome' when you smiled at him at the library)

Beel doesn't know until much later that he's dubbed as your gentle giant

Belphegor

like some of the others, doesn't like to influence your choices as much-- not because of free will or anything like that, but because he likes humans because of who they are and what they do

(and also he’s too lazy to be hovering around you trying to control your every move anyhow)

and man are humans, especially you, interesting

why is that human drinking from that person's navel? no clue but it looks fun

why is that human consuming whipped cheese with waffles? no idea, but he wouldn't get this much free entertainment without it

has no problems integrating himself into your life as your friend or roommate just to watch everything unfold in person and to tease you for your mildly questionable decisions in life

“Belphie, why didn’t you stop me from eating that last bowl of cereal?”

“Eh, I thought it would be kind of funny.”

isn't one to go out of his way to do something to influence you, but he does encourage you to do the things you want to do, whether they be good or mildly questionable ones-- but especially the fun ones like joining a new club or going to town to have fun (which you do drag him along to every time)

does steer you away from making Bad Decisions like murder or whatever, but he thinks most choices are pretty neutral and does help you process the consequences, both good and bad, of what happened

so he's integrated himself as your friend, offers advice and supports your decisions no matter what, and subtly looks out for you… and he's surprised when one day you confess to him that you like him???

this was NOT part of the plan but he would be lying to himself if he said he didn't end up falling for you too after seeing all sides of you and watching you grow as a person

Lilith

watches more from afar, because as much as she loves humans like Belphie, she is a little shy about meeting you

curiosity does triumph over shyness eventually, and she does surveillance distantly like Beel before winding up being directly in your life like Belphie (siblings am i right)

her brothers would keep trying to give her input on how she should interact with you or guide you but she brushes them away with a huff because she thinks she's doing a fine job thank you very much!

or so she's pretty sure, considering you're hanging out with her, seriously listening to her advice, buying her gifts... cuddling in bed with her if you’re attracted to her

if you do like her and want to date her, she has to be ready to somehow defend you from the only danger in your life, which turns out to be her brothers

if not, you two live happy lives as the best of friends, though the brothers can never be too careful with their darling sister

likes updating about your life to her brothers and they're lowkey jealous

doesn’t actually have to reveal herself as an angel unless you somehow find out... or because Mammon and Lucifer come down and threatens bodily harm if you hurt Lilith (wait, who’s watching over who now??)

hold up this is setting up for exactly what happens in the canon storyline

#obey me headcanons #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #this is my.... fourth time trying to get the tags to work #still i liked writing this and i hope people enjoy it too :'))

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hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon · 3 years

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DO YOU HAVE FIC RECS (FOR SPN) I H U N G E R

Okay, recently read, yes that is the only criteria I use because i read too much fucking fic and CANNOT organize them all:

Angel’s Wild - Very long, Cas as an Angel that’s creature-like. Falls into one of my favorite tropes of Dean being like “Oh shit most of what I know is wrong” when he meets Cas and also they’re like almost immediately horny for each other. Slow burn so slow it hurts but I do love it.

The Love Story of the Runner Up - PRIME Outside perspective with an OC. Real short but acheingly funny and sweet. Miguel(the OC) is the man. THE man. Basically, he dates Cas for about six months. It’s a sweet thing about how even people who aren’t permanently in your life can still have a big impact.

The Secret Good Supernatural That Lives In My Head, Season One - LieutenantSaavik HAS NEVER DISAPPOINTED. They are my icon, they are my diety, this is excellent. From the narration to the fact that the Winchesters are half Chicano (MEXICO REPRESENT) and the characters we love no longer influenced by misogynistic and racist writing, this is the good shit.

Made Manifest - This is a Trans!Dean fic, and it hits me? It hits, okay? EXCELLENT USE of Lazarus Rising at the end.

Bring Me To Honey for Amber - This is so random, but it’s also poetry. They’re in love and things are always changing. Historical AU.

Speak Low, If You Speak Love - FUCKING. MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING. AU. BRILLIANCE. I love it. Shakespeare is a comedy, there’s meddling, they’re fucking idiots and British people get punched in the face by the Irish (i.e. Eileen) MOST EXCELLENT

Fata morgana - My wife Bela Talbot as the Queen of Hell do I need to say more?

It Is Not Light That We Need, But Fire - Okay, not everyone’s cup of tea but ABO and they’re escaping prison. The Winchesters and Krushnics are opposing larceny crews but Dean and Cas fall in love in jail and will not leave without each other. I’m explaining it terribly, it’s excellent.

The Moonlighter and the Magician - This one has not left my head in like six months because it’s excellent. 1920′s AU, Cas is a jewel thief and Dean is his neighbor who is pining over him like nuts. Exploration of social issues and unconventional queer relationships + autistic Cas.

Broadway Musical - ONE OF THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THINGS I HAVE EVER READ. Like....it’s canon-adjacent. Cas is supposed to be a matchmaker to bring about the vessels of Michael and Lucifer...he falls in love with Dean instead. Jimmy gets to say fuck. All around excellence.

So Says The Sword - I consider this canon I will have you know this. CANON. GLORY BE TO komodobits AND THEIR GLORIOUS WRITING.

I hope I have fed you. Go FEAST MY DUDE

#spn #cazi answers #fic recs

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theexecutionerssong · 3 years

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Hey Gaëlle ! Est-ce-que tu aurais des recommendations de fic Destiel ? Sans trop de smut, surtout pas beta/Omega (c'est même plus du smut à ce niveau-là...) et beaucoup de pining ? ( Je devrai être en train de réviser mes partiels d'ailleurs... 😅). Merci beaucoup ! 😌

Hellooo ! Alors tu as frappé à la bonne porte parce que je lis jamais de smut, ou alors quand c’est dans des longues fics, je passe juste ces passages là. (mais j’aime beaucoup les fic a/b/o qui ont pas de smut, parce que les sentiments sont quintuplés donc pining + angst on a whole other level). Y’a peu de fluff dans mes fics préférées, love me some angsty life and death moments, mais ça finit toujours bien. Enfin. Vérifie les tags quand même :)))) J’ai mis les liens, si y’a pas c’est qu’elles ont été supprimées mais j’ai les pdf donc hit me up.Et révise tes partiels !!!!

CANON

A turn of the earth -https://archiveofourown.org/works/5138552/chapters/11825306

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

Probably my favorite fic set in Canon. It’s set around season 11, and I love how we dive into Dean’s past pre-series and then as time goes by, we catch up with the show timeline’s. It’s incredibly well written.

525,600 Minutes - https://archiveofourown.org/works/507228/chapters/892693

A man wakes up alone on the streets of Detroit. Lost and somehow forgotten, he's dressed in blood-soaked clothing without memories and without a name.

This is his journey to find it.

It was first published in 2012 set after s5, but it was rewritten last year. I still have the old version for nostalgia’s sake but the new version is even better. It’s got some amnesia so great for pining :))))

The inexhaustible silence of houses -https://archiveofourown.org/works/560268/chapters/1000755

Almost two years after the world doesn't end, Castiel falls from grace—and loses his voice in the process. It is the impetus for confession and change; before long, he is settling into a loving relationship with Dean, the Winchesters are tired, and hunting for a place to land has taken precedence to hunting anything else. Dean and Castiel fall in love with the strange little house on the end of Swallowtail Drive, and for a little while life is as it should be—sweet, affectionate, and beginning afresh.

But more and more Castiel sees and hears things in the house that beg the question of whether or not a place itself can be alive. The walls and rooms seem to shift and grow and breathe, and one night, Dean comes home from a hunt changed in a way that Castiel cannot explain. In the months that follow, their domestic bliss takes turns for the dark and sour, and the confusion of their circumstances will ultimately test everything Castiel knows about the man he loves, and everything he believes to be true.

Listen, I cried. I cried SO MUCH. There was a lil fandom war going on for a time between which was the hardest, this one or Twist and Shout, and both destroy me completely. But this one is set in canon and closer to the characters, to me, so I’ll always recommend this one first (unless you want a happy ending, in which case, don’t read it)

Only if for a night - https://archiveofourown.org/works/826303

Castiel is captured by a djinn. Dean goes slightly crazy, and Cas discovers a thing or two about himself.

I’m a sucker for Dean/Cas in Djinn verse and this one is by far my favorite.

The Bird That Feels The Light (not slash) https://archiveofourown.org/works/210860

AU from 5.18 (or thereabouts). Castiel awakens in the middle of a smoking crater, stranded and very much human. According to the people who have discovered him, it’s six months to the day after Michael and Lucifer faced off on the field of battle outside of Detroit, and Castiel isn’t the only one to have returned. When, at his insistence, they take him to this other person, he finds a child –a little boy– and realizes that, contrary to all his expectations, he has been reunited with Dean Winchester. The world has changed in their absence, and not for the better. Sam is gone, whether dead or simply missing is uncertain. Castiel is given the name of a man in Idaho who may have answers for him. He is faced with the task of travelling cross-country with Dean, who is dependent on him now in ways he never was before, in order to discover the truth. But along the way, as he and Dean learn to know and trust each other once more, Castiel begins to realize that the answers he thought he wanted might not be the ones he needs.

It’s not slash at all since Dean is a kid but I’ve read it probably about 20 times and I still love it as the first time. There’s just something about human Castiel carrying a 4 year old Dean across the world and fighting monsters and demons and humans to survive that gets to me.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - https://archiveofourown.org/works/747324

Castiel travels with the angel tablet and without the Winchesters. One day, Dean gets a text from some anonymous number. (They speak in the language of need.) A post-08.17 Goodbye, Stranger story.

If you want pining, this one is definitely for you.

Last Man Standing - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8363328/1/Last-Man-Standing

This one is set just after the season 7 finale, it’s a Purgatory fic with so.much.pining I always need to hold a pillow to my chest when I read it or I go insane sdfghjkl I haven’t read it in probably 4 years but I remember absolutely loving it.

Outrun my gun - https://archiveofourown.org/works/281887/chapters/448388

"The two of you are so stubborn you've made Heaven blink." Finally convinced that Sam and Dean will never say yes and accept their destinies, Heaven and Hell come up with a new plan, one that will redraw the Apocalypse and make everything run much more smoothly. All they need is Dean Winchester's soul.

Don’t mind the MCD tag, it’s got a happy ending. Also a classic set in canon, it’s from 2011 so quite oldish but it’s incredible how the characterization is on point. Love love love it.

Tramps Like Us

Dean Winchester's life is falling apart. He's lost his job, his apartment, and his brother, all in one day. He seems to break everything he touches. Frustrated and alone, he drives off into the night with no idea where he's headed. But then he meets Castiel Novak, a quiet and reclusive man with a haunted past, and suddenly he finds himself with a very specific destination in mind.

I feel like everyone has read Tramps Like Us but just in case, I’ll put it on the list. Not sure what I can say that hasn’t been said by half this website already but well… it deserves the hype.

Til The Last - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1001935/chapters/1984189

When the war came, Dean Winchester was determined that he was not going to get involved. He had more important things to worry about than some rich man’s fight. He had work on the farm and he had taking care of his family. Nothing else was worth his worry. But in August in the Year of Our Lord 1863, when the soldiers came knocking, they weren’t asking. They dragged Dean away.

Dean and Cas have been best friends since they were kids. When Dean is drafted into the Confederate army, to what lengths will Castiel go to ensure that Dean makes it back home alive?

OH BOY. OHHHHH I could talk about that one until the day I die. It’s a complete AU but it has great parallels to canon, it’s incredibly well written, humanity in all it’s ugly truth and “I will fight for you ‘til the last, Dean Winchester” jesus christ it’s so good, so good

Out of the Deep - https://archiveofourown.org/works/548878

Stay away from the light-beds. Stay in the deep.

It is the first thing hatchlings are taught the moment their fans unfurl and they can swim without their parents to buoy them along. It is the first rule, the first law. It is the beginning of every boogey-monster bedtime story told when they settle against the cliffs to sleep.

Castiel should have listened better.

I love everything she writes but I think this one if my favorite. It’s sooooo long, and angsty as fuck but all ends well and it has some very fluffy moments. If you’re into this kinf of AU then 100% go for it.

To Raise a King - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1961403

This must be some kind of horrible joke at Castiel’s expense. Is he truly expected to protect a King? One who has been their enemy for as long as he can remember? He is much more suited to being a part of the army, or at the very least someone who helps to train the knights. That would be far more preferred than having to watch over the King. It means Castiel would get to keep fighting – and that’s the only way he knows to give meaning to his life.

An AU too, Cas is tasked to watch over Sam and Dean -there’s an 8 year age difference between Dean and Cas. I loved it because it’s set over about 15 years and Cas is asexual and I love time period AU in general :’)

Painted Angels https://archiveofourown.org/works/1085792

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

This one is hard to read because for the most part, it’s heartbreaking. There are happy flashbacks all along but it’s still hard when what happens in the present it’s a fucking tragedy. But I would still read it a thousand times over, and the timestamp completely make up for all the pining and the angst. It’s rare to find fics that last an entire lifetime.

#gaelle parle #spn #fic rec #martineaualexia

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naruhearts · 5 years

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TFW, Jack Winchester & Peace of Mind...

[Dean, ext. in the Impala]

TAPE DECK: The key to quieting your mind, is minding your quiet. [Dean pulls the tape out, throws it on the seat] —10x11 There’s No Place Like Home transcript ***

Seems like 14x15 Peace of Mind and its premise (the title, guys!) could link back to 14x09 (with all this narrative talk of quietness, tape decks, and using your words)—

—and 10x11 besides carrying over 14x14′s key themes of Life and Death, Family, Love and...Love, and Subtext in Storytelling.

In 10x11, Good Charlie faced Evil Charlie — the cunning and conniving (and Charlie herself was a mirror to MoC!Dean), yet she was so preoccupied with shame and guilt over her Dark mirror self that she overlooked something fundamental: the intrinsic dualism of the human condition. Say, being conniving as a hunter helps her save people. Yin and Yang. You cannot be good without evil, and you cannot be evil without good. Agency and free will matter, in that you choose which side to act on, and all the complex nuances in-between — doing something stupid (bad) for the right reasons — are the judges of your moral character.

In Season Who Am I/Season Mirrors 14, Dean and Cas’ narrative arcs — both mirroring each other (since S12) — cycle back to this internal battle, where Dean saying Yes to Michael was a bad decision, yet it was a decision steeped in the good: his boundless love for his family and the larger safety of the world. Although he stated in 14x13 that he’s ‘good with who he is’ (and I don’t doubt the validity of it at all, because oh man it SHOWS, in almost every facet of his emotional states e.g. transparency with Cas re: his Michael-induced trauma and letting Sam separate himself from his shadow), Dean’s still experiencing a gradual uphill trek to achieving complete self-actualization after decades of John-bred negative self-process, low self-worth, and depression; it’s definitely logical to assume that Dean, at his core, will somehow blame himself for the slaughter of the AU Hunters by Michael!Rowena.

But don’t worry — Dean’s character progression towards self-love is PALPABLY closer than it’s ever been in S14!! And we all know that, beyond his brother Sam, the key significant motivator for this is Cas: Dean’s subtextual spouse. The one he trusts wholeheartedly. The one who brought him back from the brink, many times. The one who fell for his humanity. The one who did it - all of it - for him. The one who believes Dean is ‘more than strong’/believes Sam and Dean (subtextually: DEAN) are extraordinary, brave, special, burn bright. The one who helps weed out the creeping vines of low self-worth, reminding Dean Humanity Winchester of his valuable lessons: that there is always a way, a better way, a hopeful way.

If death - if evil - still surfaces regardless of one’s perseverance and good intentions, “sometimes things just are; you have to live with that.” Most importantly--

Listen to your own advice, Dean.

Cas, on the other hand, struck up a deal with the Empty to protect Jack the TFW mirror. Shifting away from his sense of expendability and self-sacrifice (as the worthless means to a self-destructive end e.g. saying Yes to Lucifer, mirrored by Dean) in past seasons, Cas’ current choices (his choice to sacrifice himself for Jack) are, like Dean, steeped in Love and...Love — and Cas is very humanized this season, with an incredible scale of expressive emotions for an angel and vast internalization of overall human values and human morality — but his angelic self-awareness manifested in 14x14. This pivotal scene between Cas and his character exposition Jack showed audiences that Cas still perceives himself as a “thing” and, like Dean, Cas continues to feel the deep residue of expendability and duty as an ex-Angel of the Lord despite making recent positive characteristic leaps and bounds (his accrued trauma re: Naomi, for example, lurks in the back of Cas’ mind, reminding him of his sole purpose as Heaven’s blunt tool).

14x14’s narrative insight into Cas’ self-awareness of his position in the Winchester family as a supernatural entity (he’s put a lot of thought into knowing what may be in his future — losing Sam and Dean) hinders him from fully acknowledging and accepting the fact that he IS family. Not quite there, my friends, but he almost is.

Jack, yearning to be useful for his family, proclaimed himself a Winchester last episode in the manner most reflective and evocative of Cas, Dean and Sam’s own past choices (Michael, Lucifer, the Mark of Cain, Godstiel — you name it) (Jack’s helplessness was also visually symbolized when he turned into a “sick” dog, additionally closely mirroring Cas and particularly Dean’s duty-bound inclinations, then keeping in mind the connotations attached to Dog in the SPN narrative: expendability.)

Now it’s Jack’s turn to further find himself, sift through the respective TFW influences of faith, hope, and love (the three theological virtues represented by TFW) bestowed upon him, and “die” in order to live. Ouroboros. What path will Jack Winchester choose? What decision will he make? Is he the snake or the chicken? *Mind you, meta writers shivered in our boots once 14x14 aired*

In keeping Gorgon Noah’s snake, seemingly ‘killing’ Michael, and absorbing his grace to become a textually benevolent but subtextually ominous iteration of Godstiel while simultaneously saving his family, we can say Jack is both the chicken and the snake. Thus, in classic Winchester fashion, the effects — the benefits and consequences — of his actions shall reap important self-introspective lessons that Jack will eventually experience.

You can’t save everybody, but you can try to make choices that provide even the slightest chance of winning. If the last few key thematic episodes were any indication: faith, hope, love, and open honest communication (the latter exercised by Jack pretty liberally until Meta Extravaganza 14x14, when he dodged - again in classic Winchester fashion - his own family’s concerns via I’m FineTM) build up your resistance in a turbulent, uncertain world.

As TPTB has thematically reinforced through narrative cyclism and mirrored pathways over and over again during the past few seasons:

Self-love/positive self-process breeds life and rebirth. Self-hate/maladaptively negative self-process breeds death and destruction. To truly be human, we must live with both personal internal forces -- they are naturally interdependent. Self-hate pushes us to seek self-love. Personal imprisonment and control pushes us to break free and release ourselves from control in order to allow growth. Ultimately, life fluctuates and never stays static.

We are absolutely capable of choosing the good and acting on the good.

TFW, once they forgive ALL their faults and transform them into present/future strengths, will finally mind their quiet and have peace of mind. They’re going to realize that living a meaningful life involves the good and the bad. A dual balance of both is tantamount. Jack is the catalyst.

Everything means something.

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muses-darling · 5 years

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A SEDUCTION OF THE DARKSIDE - A STAR WARS AU - CH. 12 Ghosts of the Past

Ignis’s blade ignited the tip of it just under the chin of Alucard as he used the force to bring the other man low. He had to do this, he couldn’t allow this one clone to live, the others had been destroyed by him personally. So why was this one so different as he stared at the young man.

“Lucifer?” Hades hurried up to the man. “You said you wanted to see me, whatever for?”

“This holds little power for me old friend. I crave so much more.” Lucifer told him. “Surely you would give anything to have the power to protect those you care about?” He stood in the shadows and shade from the moon of Coruscant.

“Of course, and with more of us there will be,” Hades smiled hopeful as he placed a hand on Lucifer’s shoulders. “There are surely others out there with the same level of talent and-”

Lucifer took Hades’ hand from his shoulder pressing his other hand to the man’s a soft closeness. “You know, we know that isn’t what I meant.”

“We have learned so much of our abilities we saw what happened when one uses their emotions too much what happened when I....”

“Yes and the power that comes with it!”

“Lucifer, we cannot.”

“Oh but we can, come my friend do not be afraid, well any more than one should be use that fear, grasp it turn it to your use. Imagine if you had, had that power how you might have saved your Persephone.” He reached out to Hades’ face.

The memories cascaded causing tears to fall, it had been his fault, his and his alone, he had let his emotions get the better of him and they had taken her twisting and breaking her burning her away like a brush in a fire. Hades shook his head a look of horror, “No Lucifer, I will not betray her memory like that, by turning it into a weapon.”

“Why not?” Lucifer asked, “Imagine the strength! We would rule the people.”

“It isn’t right, what happened was a mistake and one I will carry from this life to whatever life comes to me next. You still haven’t explained how you brought me back? Though you brought me back as a man this time.”

“That is what I mean Hades, I have begun to explore the wealth that you merely tapped into. This Darker side of the force, it offer so much potential.”

“I will not join you Lucifer,” Hades pulled out his blade.

“You might not have much choice, I told those that you might have called friends what happened to Persephone, they know, I’m not certain they would continue to let a murderer fill their ranks. After all that isn’t the way of the what was the name they called themselves? Jedi?” Lucifer’s face twisted.

“Hades put down the blade!” Gabriel held his sword ready to strike.

Behind Aziraphale looked worried.

“Wait shouldn’t we hear his side?” Crowley asked seizing Gabriel’s shoulder.

“I should hate to think that you would have taken his side in all of this.” Gabriel said too caught up in his sense of morality and justice to hear reason.

“He only meant-” Aziraphale said not loud enough to be heard.

“Jedi Master Hades-Plutonia whatever your name is now, you are under arrest by the first Jedi Council. For the murder of your wife Persephone.”

Crowley drew his sword placing it on Gabriel’s, “This isn’t right, you know it. Lucifer has a way of whispering.”

Hades stood shaking his vision blurring blackening then redness over came it as he seethed. “It was an accident!” He looked up. “We were practicing the things we learned, we had discovered. I-I didn’t see her, it all happened so fast and next thing I knew I was waking up in this body and learning the love of my life was dead.” Hades’ angered gaze fell over the other’s who stood there. “I never meant too!” His voice broke, “I WOULD NEVER! I LOVED HER!”

“And in your anger you murdered her.” Gabriel accused.

“YES, yes I did it was a murder, but not of anger, though there was anger in the source of the power, it wasn’t at her, it was at myself, it was fear and anger and darkness and it devoured us both spitting me out to face this world alone without her.” Hades was shaking.

Crowley went to Hades, “If this is what you consider fair judgement then I will not be apart of this Jedi Order.”

“Then you cast your lot with them?”

“Aye,” Crowley said.

“So it is settled then, see you now Hades how your would be friends cast you aside while your true friends stand beside you.” Lucifer drew his sword and grinned at Gabriel before firing lighting through the force at him.

Michael stood between them barreling at Lucifer through the blast taking the whole of it and shielding himself with the force as he knocked Lucifer down.

“With those you have wrongly misjudged then so be it.” Crowley was already pulling Hades away before catching a glance at Aziraphale who clearly looked torn. “Fret not Aziraphale, the Order needs someone good on it’s side.”

“Oh Crowley,” Aziraphale felt his face fall as he watched them leave.

Lucifer stood, “This isn’t the end there will be more of us, just you wait Jedi, we will rise from the shadows and darkness. Oh we will rise,” Lucifer grinned.

There was little of that young man back then in the one knelt before him now, as far as this boy was concerned the man of his past was his Father. The sins of the Father shouldn’t fall to the son. If in all of this Ignis could find happiness, even after all these years of pain and suffering, destruction and rage, agony and wrath. Ignis’ hand clutched the kyber crystal around his neck Kit’s soothing voice coming to mind and in an instant he could almost feel the touch of his beloved there at his side staying the blade in hand. A whisper of mercy in his ear and he was Hades the man not the mantle of Ignis Emperor of the Sith Empire. His eyes fluttered shut and tears came as he opened them no longer harsh yellow and red but the soft blues that once pooled there. To kill Alucard was to yes affirm that Lucifer would never rise again, but to do so was to deny any and all life to an innocent man. This clone had done nothing to deserve the life it had been given. He knew his decision before a terrible laugh echoed through the chamber one he knew all too well. One that chilled even Hades to his core.

“Always indecisive with your emotions. Hades.....”

#Ch.12 A Seduction of the Darkside #SeaCoastCity SWAU #SW:ASD

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orionsangel86 · 6 years

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14x02 - Episode Review - Without the Bells and Whistles

Bucklemming colour me impressed. This episode was a rich character driven story that left me full and satisfied and that is something I NEVER say about Bucklemming. I am amazed at how character focused these first two episodes are and truly hope that Dabb keeps up the momentum among writers. It is a change of pace with the show, and a change of focus, but it is WORKING so far.

As always with BL episodes there were some pacing issues and clunky dialogue in parts, but damn Dick Speight Jr is doing a fabulous job making the show look beautiful. As with 14x01 there is a lot to discuss, though I will try to be brief as I have a desperate need to write a separate post about Cas because my angel had me in tears in this episode and he needs an essay written about him in it.

Without further adieu, a long review is under the cut.

Michael and the Bait

Firstly Jensen did spectacularly in this episode. Such a drastic difference from 14x01 and I’m not sure if that’s because of Dick being a more hands on director or Jensen finally making a choice but he has settled into the role and plays Michael as a sinister psychopath on a mission. Michael has far more personality in this episode. He is more interesting to watch and managed to hold my attention unlike in 14x01. This makes me happy.

So what’s the deal guys? Michael spends this episode focusing on his monster experiments, brags about owning Dean, and then just leaves? Obviously that’s not what happened. The clue is in the key moments:

“Why be the hunted, when you can be the Hunter?”

“Rule no.1 you can’t have a trap without bait. Rule no.2 Once the trap has been sprung, you don’t need the bait anymore.”

Michael’s plan has been set in motion. The scene with the vamp girl being foreshadowing for the bigger picture, the bigger goal. Is Michael going after the hunters? If his plan is to make a world where Monsters are in charge, then the hunters need to be eradicated. It makes sense. It also therefore makes sense that you would set your sights on hunter central – the bunker. So Dean was let free so Michael could keep a watch on the bunker and it’s residents through him. As far as the rules go, if Dean is the bait, then releasing Dean is Michael not needing him anymore directly. The trap itself is the mystery, but I suspect we will find out more about exactly what Michael has done in 14x03, and it will most likely all have to do with this mysterious scar. I don’t think Michael is hiding “in” Dean so much as has an “open connection” to him where he could jump back in at any time without Dean’s consent. But we shall find out soon enough I’m sure.

Mary x Bobby

Obviously I support this ship, but I support it even more seeing as they have now paralleled Mobby to Destiel in two episodes in a row.

“My FBI is a little rusty”

This week, Bobby is our Cas mirror and Mary is our Dean. The fond pat on the back was the only hint we got that this was romantic, but like with 14x01, I ask you to try to find a single viewer who doesn’t see “something there” between this generic heterosexual couple? They are continuing to show their relationship through nothing BUT destiel parallels and it continues to delight me that this is now the shows go-to way to portray romance.

On a slight side note, Bobby being from an apocalypse AU world, he is the classic hunter right now who only sees in black and white, and the way he went for the vamp girl even after she tried to explain how she had never harmed a human. Bobby’s take on things this season will be an interesting one as it’s a continuous theme in this show to explore what makes a monster, something that dates back to John Winchester days (the ultimate black and white hunter). Also his understandable suspicions about angels making the dynamic with Cas a potentially interesting one. I wonder if this Bobby will ever utter the phrase “family don’t end with blood”?

Nick – It’s a chicken and egg situation

*sigh* I’m still not won over, and I probably won’t be. I expected this episode to be Nick heavy, and the flashbacks irked me because I simply don’t care. But I get that they would be necessary for a general audience. My lack of care is my own issue. It doesn’t matter how much Mark P acted his arse off trying to give us a decent performance (his first in years), I’m still not gonna be a fan. I’m still gonna skip those scenes in subsequent re-watches but that’s just me. I just don’t find it interesting even if he is being embedded into the story in a way that is paramount to the plot and the characters own struggles and development. I will acknowledge that importance and move on. I suppose the take away from Nick’s role in this episode when not specifically tied to Castiel (which I will yell about later) is whether or not he murdered his wife and child before he was possessed by Lucifer. The set up in the episode, the scripting and the direction implies that yes, he did. Though that could be a misdirection.

At the beginning of the episode, when he was asking Castiel what would possibly make him say yes to Lucifer to begin with, he had seemingly forgotten all about the brutal murder of his family, until Cas reminded him. Perhaps he had just repressed the trauma to the point that he had removed it from his mind to save himself further torment – but then murderers do that as much as grieving widows. Interestingly of all the things we learn about the murder case, we never actually learn Nick’s whereabouts, only from Castiel saying “you weren’t there” which is entirely unreliable because how would he have known other than from reading about the case himself? We know Nick’s neighbour is jumpy around him, so what did the neighbour actually see? We know his wife and child were killed with a hammer – an extremely intimate murder weapon and one that has been meta’d before in relation to Demon!Dean. Strangers don’t murder people with a hammer. It’s the weapon of crimes of passion, of extreme emotional connection to the victims. There is nothing cold and detached about a hammer. People who pick hammer’s to kill seek out the mess and extreme violence that they cause. It’s horrific and so much more gruesome than a knife or a gun. To kill an infant with a hammer? Even worse. To then see Nick murder the neighbour in the same violent attack, it is very easy to assume that he was the original killer as well.

If we assume Nick was the killer what does this mean for the canon of the show? Is this how Lucifer picks his vessels? What does this say about Sam? Who had to consume gallons of demon blood before he could contain Lucifer, Sam who had to be “corrupted” from a young age to prepare him? Was Nick already corrupted enough thanks to his apparent violent streak?

OR was this new kill with the hammer a result of what Cas called Lucifer’s “influence”, the “damage on his psyche”? Did Lucifer create the monster? Or was the monster already a part of Nick? If the season is going to continue the themes of previous seasons in exploring the shades of grey between men and monsters, then Nick is a key component. Is he the innocent victim of the devil? Or is he a tormented killer, who just so happened to get what he deserved? How would this affect the boys? If they are already struggling to find compassion towards a man wearing the face of their abuser, how does this potential new bit of information fit into that story? Perhaps, if Nick really is the killer, once this is found out it gives the writers an easy way to ultimately have him killed off without any guilt of tormenting and villainising an innocent. My money is actually on this theory. Plus it gives me a reason to continue hating him for the hell of it. But hey, that’s just me.

Castiel – The Angel with Too Much Heart

Oh Cas. What DON’T I have to say about you in this episode? I was amazed by Bucklemming’s dedication to Cas as a character and devotion to getting him right for once… I feel like I have slipped into an alternate universe because of this.

In 14x01 Cas was physically beaten, and in 14x02 he is emotionally beaten. I can’t help but wonder if this spells gloomy foreshadowing for Cas in the coming episodes. I want to write about this in depth as this episode is a fascinating insight into Cas’s psyche and his character arc going forward BUT I am leaving that for a separate post so in this review I will just sum it up:

Consider what happens to Cas in several points:

He overhears Bobby saying “angels ain’t known for their veracity” about Jo – that he doubts she was telling the truth. Cas shrugs it off and “tends to agree with him” but the awkwardness is obvious. This isn’t the Bobby who saw Cas as a son after all.

He is told he cannot go along on the mission to save Dean because his “angelic presence would be sensed by Michael” therefore his grace has rendered him useless.

He is made to relive his own possession by Lucifer “you were in a lot of pain, and Lucifer saw a vulnerability and he exploited it” though not talking about himself, the implication is obvious to anyone with a good memory of previous seasons.

He is made to relive another dark chapter of his history when his grace was stolen and he was human. Cas gives Jack a heartfelt positive speech that does show he is in a better place now “I had Sam and Dean, but I had something else that was extremely helpful. I had myself. Just the basic me, as Dean would say without all the bells and whistles” (which btw is so so good for human!cas meta) but the truth is actually far more depressing than Cas lets on, and the pain of what happened at that time, how Dean kicking him out of the bunker only encouraged the view that without his grace he was useless and unwanted by Dean – hence jilted lover.

He is surprised by Nick trying to “snap” him to oblivion which could easily be a trigger for Cas bearing in mind Lucifer has blown him up before via that very gesture.

He had to relive his “greatest regret” and what he did to Jimmy and his family. “You’re just a stone cold body snatcher, you’re no different from Lucifer” and you can SEE how much that pained him. How much Nick twisted the knife at those words.

He was told by Jack that he wanted to meet “The only real family that I have left” which is a slap in the face to poor Cas who sees Jack as part of his own family (and his reaction to that line is heart breaking).

Then the worst thing, he is made to face the possible conclusion that Dean may have to die to save the world. “Dean doesn’t matter” oh boy. No hate to Jack who doesn’t really have any real reason to put Dean ahead of the world, but to Cas, who is in love with him? Yeah that’s the killing blow right there.

Right at the end Jack says “Do you think he’d want it any other way?” and Cas KNOWS Dean wouldn’t, because they have been in that situation before as well, and when that happened Dean asked Cas to take him out. So he had to relive that painful moment as well. One that he refused, and because he refused to fight Dean, got beaten to a pulp after proclaiming that he would “be the one to watch you murder the world”. I have no doubt that Cas would still take that view over the alternative.

So Cas was emotionally beaten all episode. Forced to live through his worst moments and biggest regrets, and then have to face the fact that putting Dean above saving the world just isn’t right and he needs to prepare himself for that eventuality. If this episode and the last have told us anything, it’s that Cas is once again in a pretty low place. That much beating, both physical and emotional, are going to have an impact, and I am now really concerned about where Cas disappears to in episodes 4 to 6.

There is so much more to discuss, specifically in relation to what his view of his grace as “bells and whistles” could mean for human!Cas meta writers, not to mention the basic fact that any argument now about Cas hating being human just isn’t true. He still had himself, and he still believed in himself even when human, and even if he didn’t back then, he does now. He doesn’t see that period of his life as a total negative. That is HUGE.

Summary

A+ episode for Cas development. Amazing as that is being a bucklemming. It has also left us with lots to speculate and theorise which is always a great thing - keeping people tuning in. The Michael!Dean mystery as well as the Nick mystery probably won’t get revealed any time soon, but are enough to have people talking about them for a while.

Sam was still very much in Leader mode, though didn’t really get to do much this episode, but the way I see it, 14x01 was for Sam, 14x02 was for Cas, and I fully expect 14x03 to be a Dean heavy episode (which is fair since I am sure we are all missing him by now). Jack is also one to watch. His inner turmoil is textually acknowledged several times over and seeing as he is basically a mini Cas, the possibility that Jack could decide to do something drastic is probably very likely. I wonder if we will see Kelly’s parents again any time soon - I kinda hope not as I reckon that would spell certain doom for them.

It was a strong episode, and I enjoyed watching it (other than the Nick stuff). Probably my second favourite Bucklemming episode if I was to rank them all now which is very impressive (11x18 will always be top imo).

That’s all for now, as I am in the mood to write some Cas stuff. As always if you read this far kudos and please reblog and comment and send me asks as I love all that stuff. :D

#supernatural #episode review #castiel #spn meta #spn speculation #spn spoilers #season 14 #14x02 #my meta #my review #my thoughts #my poor angel #mirrors and parallels #michael!dean

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ravenkings · 5 years

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Would’st Thou Like to Live Deliciously?: Part 1

Michael Langdon x Fem!Reader, AHS: Apocalypse x The Witch (2015) AU

Summary: Based on the 2015 film “The Witch”. Alone in the vast wilderness of 17th Century New England after your family has been killed off by witchcraft, you, a Puritan girl, are faced with an impossible choice: death or signing your soul away to Satan and becoming a witch. Black Phillip, the family goat, has been looking at you strangely, and you wonder if he is exactly what he seems to be...

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: AU, Dark!fic, MAJOR spoilers for the ending of “The Witch” (2015), Historical Setting (1600s New England), Fem!Reader, Lapsed Puritan!Reader, Dom!Michael, Matricide, Violence, Murder, Poor attempts at writing linguistically accurate 17th Century English dialogue, Shape-shifting Michael Langdon, Michael Langdon is Black Phillip, Nudity, Slight Glove Kink, Sensuality, Selling your soul to Satan

Note: So this is my first fanfic that I’ve actually published on the internet. I’ve tried writing them for years, but I’ve never actually posted them online, so this is a first for me! I obviously own nothing, and I did pull major sections of the dialogue directly from “The Witch”. I’m open to any and all feedback, and stay tuned for Part 2!

You lay on the dirt in shock, breathing in gasps as you felt your mother’s corpse weigh heavily on you. Her blood was sticky on your hands and face, staining the front of your dress. You still held the knife that you had thrust in your mother’s face as she had pinned you to the ground, screaming and raving, choking you with her bare hands, her grief over your dead siblings and your dead father sending her spiraling into madness. The madness that had consumed your entire family since you had all been banished from the Colony due to your own father’s indomitable, sinful pride.

She would have killed you, you knew, if you had not defended yourself. And yet, in saving your own life, you knew that you were irrevocably damned. With this most blackest of sins, not only of murder, but the murder of your own mother staining your hands, you were now beyond any hope of ever seeing God’s mercy. You were most truly a sinner now, and more alone than you ever were, even in your most despairing, isolated moments. God had abandoned you entirely. It was this, more than even the horror of the act that you had committed that caused you to start sobbing. You lay there on the ground for several minutes, sobbing harder than you ever had before. After a time, you knew not how long, you extricated yourself from under your mother’s body and stood up on unsteady legs. You found yourself wandering back into the house, where you stripped off the top layer of your dress, leaving you only in your bloodstained white shift. You then sat down at the kitchen table, head in your hands.

You began to cry again. As you sat there sobbing, you chanced to glance out through the open front door and saw that goat, Black Phillip, staring at you with his yellow, horizontal-pupiled eyes. The creature who had gored your father through the stomach with one of his horns and left him bleeding on the ground. He was a gorgeous if monstrous beast, larger than any goat you’d ever seen and pitch black with enormous ribbed, curved horns. You remembered your father leading him home the day before you’d left the Colony, boasting of the bargain he’d acquired from one of your neighbors.

“I had to implore the good woman to accept my coin. She claimed she would take not a penny for the beast and that she only wanted him gone. For the life of me, I cannot begin to fathom why. I wager thou hast never seen such a magnificent beast. God indeed smiles upon us.”

As you locked eyes with the goat, you felt a strange chill run up your spine. There was something alien yet sentient in his gaze. Otherworldly, but with a human intelligence. Demonic, in other words. You thought back to all the events that had led you to this moment. The banishment from the Colony. The disappearance of your baby brother Samuel from before your very eyes. The bewitchment of your brother Caleb. The poor harvest. The lack of animals to hunt in the woods. And finally, the disgusting old hag who had killed all the livestock and spirited away your little twin siblings Jonas and Mercy.

You’d had your suspicions for weeks. You’d seen how Jonas and Mercy whispered and giggled with the goat, sang songs and danced in its honor, accused you of witchcraft before your mother and father while grinning maliciously behind their backs and scampering off. And you’d felt the eyes of the goat on you in private moments when you thought you were alone and unobserved: washing the linens in the stream by the cabin, daydreaming by the well when you were supposed to be retrieving water, feeding the chickens and the pigs.

In that moment, you knew what he was, and your heart almost stopped. An audible gasp escaped your lips, and the chill morning air suddenly felt even colder. Still, you could not take your eyes from Black Phillip. After what could have been seconds or minutes, he nodded his head up and down in what could only be called a distinctly human gesture, as if to confirm what you knew to be true. He then turned and trotted away back towards the barn. You sat there, the shock rendering your mind a blank slate.

You stared down at your hands, at the blood drying and cracking on your fingers and under your fingernails. You were entirely alone, you knew. And you were no longer yourself. There was no hope for survival in this tiny cabin in the middle of the forest, the source of a seemingly endless stream of dangers. And you could not go back to the Colony. You would be tried and found guilty, either of witchcraft or murder, and hanged within a fortnight if not sooner. Every path that revealed itself to you ended in death. All except one.

You shivered again, trying to erase this idea from your mind and made your way upstairs to the little straw mattress that you slept on. The moment you closed your eyes, you were lost to velvety, dreamless sleep.

When you awoke, it was nighttime. The silvery light from the full moon shone through the little window in the loft. You lay there, staring at the ceiling, slowly coming to accept the decision that you knew you had already made. The decision that had been made for you the moment you and your family had been banished to this wilderness. You stood up, lit a candle, and took it with you as you made your way downstairs, stepping outside and shutting the front door for what you knew would be the last time. You took a deep breath of the cool night air to steady yourself. Looking to the stable, you saw the goat standing in front of it, staring at you, just as you knew he would be. You walked towards the barn, and once you were within a few feet, the goat turned and went inside through the slightly open door. You followed him. Black Phillip stood before you, his yellow eyes glistening in the candlelight.

“Black Phillip, I conjure thee to speak to me.” Your voice trembled, but the words came out clearly. “Speak as thou dost speak to Jonas and Mercy.” Silent, the goat continued to stare at you.

“Dost thou understand my English tongue?” Silence.

“Answer me.” The goat’s eyes were glassy like marbles. You began to wonder if this was folly, if you’d gone as mad as your mother, if you’d doubly damned yourself now without any hope of being rewarded for it. Heart sinking, you turned away. In that moment, you felt an almost imperceptible shift in the air.

“What dost thou want?” asked a silky masculine voice. You turned around and almost gasped. The goat was gone and in his place was a tall man dressed in black with long luxuriant honey blond hair. He was handsome, handsomer than any man you’d ever known, with a narrow face, a sharp jaw and cheekbones, a straight nose, slanted clear blue eyes that were narrowed, and plump lips that were curled back in a very slight sneer. His beauty was unearthly and dangerous, a weapon in and of itself. You gaped at him for a moment before regaining your wits.

“What can’st thou give?” you asked. The man’s pouty lips twisted into a smirk, and he stepped closer to you, his riding boots clicking on the floor.

“Would’st thou like the taste of butter? A pretty dress? Would’st thou like to live...deliciously?”

He leaned in, inches from your face. You could smell him, his scent a heady mix of clove and pine and something musky that you couldn’t name, a scent meant to draw you in. The Devil is the great tempter, the great seducer, you had been told since you were a child, and looking from his sky blue eyes to his soft lips, so close to your own, you knew you were lost.

“Yes,” you answered breathlessly. His smirk grew wider, and you thought you saw his blue eyes turn black for half a moment. He leaned in closer to you, a graceful, sinuous movement, until his lips were at your ear, his body practically touching yours.

“Would’st thou like to see the world?” he whispered, hot breath brushing your ear. Your eyes fluttered closed, and you felt melting heat rushing throughout your body.

“What will you from me?” you whispered.

“Dost thou see a book before thee?” You opened your eyes, and in front of you, on the floor, lay an open leather-bound book with weathered, yellowing pages. The letters that you couldn’t read swirled across the page, entwined with illustrations of flowers and animals in gold leaf, scarlet, indigo, all sorts of bright rich colors that you almost felt that you had never seen before, so accustomed were you to drab grays and browns and blacks.

The man, Black Phillip, Lucifer, whatever he went by, stepped behind you and placed his gloved hands on your shoulders. You could feel the unnatural heat radiating from his body, and it warmed your icy cold skin. You instinctively pulled closer, and you heard him chuckle slightly at your display of neediness. He gently brushed a lock of your long hair over your shoulder and brought his lips to your ear again.

“Remove thy shift.”

You felt your heart pound and heat pool between your legs. His grip tightened on your shoulders. With trembling fingers, you undid the buttons down the front of the bloodstained shift and let it fall to the floor. You were completely exposed, shivering from the cold, but even more from a sick sort of anticipation, not that you could admit it to yourself, not even now. He let go of your shoulders, and you felt his eyes run up and down your body, blatantly appraising you like he was a rich man you had once seen back home in England, forever ago, who was purchasing an Arabian steed. He walked in a circle around you, his eyes lingering on your breasts, your legs, the apex of your tightly clenched thighs, humming approvingly. The heat between your legs grew, and you felt yourself starting to grow wet.

Having seen enough to satisfy him, the man stepped behind you again and took a firm hold of your shoulder with one hand and the back of your head with the other. He, gently but firmly, pushed your head down so that you were staring at the floor in front of you. You saw the book and understood what he was asking you to do.

You were to sign it, the Devil’s book. It was the book that all witches signed. Once you had done this, your soul would be locked away into his possession, and he would be your master for all eternity and even beyond that. Your mouth ran dry as you saw the one empty line on the page, the one undoubtedly reserved for you.

“I..I cannot write my name,” you said truthfully. You had learned to read simple prayers and Bible verses but never to write. You had always been told a girl had more useful things to learn, like needlework and spinning wool and how to keep a good, clean, God-fearing household. The man chuckled again.

“I will guide thy hand.”

You looked back at the man’s face, which was so close to your own, at his full, soft, smirking lips and longed to kiss them, longed for that more than you had for anything else in your life. He seemed to know what you were thinking and shook his head, amused at your desperation. He ghosted his thumb along your bottom lip, just barely touching it.

“All in good time, little dove. Now sign,” he murmured. You averted your eyes and nodded. You knelt down on the floor and picked up the quill pen, which had just appeared lying on the page. You felt the familiar burning heat against your back as the man say behind you and then, to your surprise, pulled you into his lap. The book then levitated, as if a pair of invisible hands had picked it up, and floated towards you until it was hovering right over your lap.

Black Phillip took your small shaking hand in his own large one, guided it and the quill down to the page, and, in one quick motion, signed it for you. You watched with strange detachment as the ink flowed from the quill, signing away your life and your soul. You shed no tears, and you suddenly felt a strange peace, gazing at the cursive flourish that you knew was your name. All of the anxiety, the self-doubt, the self-hatred, the suffering that you had experienced in your futile quest to be a good, pious Christian were no longer of any consequence. You could now be your truest self and taste fully of the pleasures of life that you had always secretly craved.

You were shaken out of your thoughts when the heavy book slammed shut of its own accord and vanished into thin air. You blinked, surprised, and turned around to look at the man. His beautiful face had an expression of feline satisfaction.

“Is it done?” you asked. The man stared at you for a long moment, looking for all the world like tomcat who had cornered a particularly juicy mouse. He shook his head.

“Not quite.”

And before you could react, his tongue licked a hot column up your neck while his gloved hands reached around either side of your body and pinched both your nipples.

#so i guess this is my late contribution to this fandom #i think i got a bit carried away with the part before michael officially shows up but i think it's worth it #part 2 will be smuttier i promise #michael langdon #cody fern #michael langdon x reader #american horror story #ahs apocalypse #the witch #fanfic #mine

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wordsfromafangirl · 5 years

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Destiel & Queliot

I cannot stop theorizing or comparing. Forgive me! I just sit and watch The Magicians, thinking, “I’ve been down this road before.” Yet, there is something freeing because I don't have to question or unravel subtext when it comes to Eliot and Quentin. In fact, those two never seemed buried in subtext. Did they seem plain to see since season 1 with an A+ explicit build up of their friendship first? I don't know, it’s just...I watch and think, “What’s this familiarity? OH yeah, that’s right. Dean and Cas.” Just the little bit that’s been given to us in regards to explicit canon Queliot, tracks with subtext Destiel.

Dean and Cas have been possessed, under spells and not themselves several hundred thousands times in their relationship. Then the way Q feels (yes, I know a part of it is due to his father’s death), but then it also must be even harder to look at Eliot’s body knowing that he is alive. Could it be much easier to know he’s dead and then they could just kill the monster? Oh wait a minute. I think I’ve said this before, “why does that remind me of when Lucifer possessed Cas or when Michael possessed Dean?”

Dean arguing with Sam about how “It’s not an it. It’s Cas.” We’re going to get Lucifer out of him first and then deal with Amara. Same as Cas arguing with Jack. No, son. This is not gonna fly...

Hmmm...also, the way Q feels “too tired to care” tracks with exactly how Dean had felt in season 7 (one of the other times he lost Cas). Remember the whole, “Cas, black goo. I don't care…” Again, SPN has this tendency to make the brothers or Cas possessed, under the influence and not themselves to spout off the truth. Rarely do we see the truth told when it’s themselves, though, season 13 did a good job of that with an episode that had Sam, Jack & Dean seeing a therapist. Dean lashing out his anger at everyone. Why? Well, we know it was because of Cas, plus Dean grappling with the fact that he and even other angels think it’s all because of him that Castiel is “all the way dead.” Sam was hurt too and he was grieving mostly over the fact that he may never have a chance to know his Mom. Dean hadn’t even thought any of this because he buried himself in deep over the pain he feels from losing Cas. Let’s put it this way: I would not want to meet early season 13 Dean (everything prior to Tombstone) because he was an absolute scary mess without Cas.

It’s just Q feels “too tired to care” and would rather have the monster/god kill him if he’s going to kill Eliot, but he bravely faces him and makes a deal.

Q’s response to this question from the monster/god makes me think this would be Dean’s response to that very same question: “Because I do.” We know Q was rejected, but we haven’t seen Dean and Cas have that conversation. Still think Dean would respond the same way if asked by someone/something else. Anyway, for help from him and his friends, the monster/god must take care of Eliot’s body. It also reminds me of how Dean couldn’t kill AU Cas in the 300th episode of SPN. If Sam couldn’t make the banishing sigil, then what? It leaves it open to speculation. Could Dean get the one up and fight him off? Or like a Mark of Cain parallel convince Cas to stop? Cas was barely getting the upper hand here, mainly because he didn’t want to fight. He just wanted Dean to stop. Q & El haven’t been buried in violence either, so there’s that bit that I would like to put an end to when it comes to Dean & Cas.

Dean tried many times to stop AU Cas in the 300th...we know that Sam could’ve probably stabbed the angel (remember season 6, save for the fact I think Sam had a totally justifiable reason for stabbing Cas in the back), however, I am not sure even Sam could have done it in the 300th episode, mainly because I am 100% positive he knows what killing any version of Cas would do to Dean.

This leads me to realize how difficult it must’ve been for Quentin to just be like, “okay so the monster/God told me Eliot’s dead. Fine, let’s kill him.” Except, (since Jason Ralph is so amazing) we can see in that scene (while Eliot is trying to get the door open in his mind) on Q’s face that it is difficult whether or not that Eliot is alive. It is difficult because he is still seeing the visage of his best friend, his lover, his soulmate. Then he thinks the monster/god is mocking him:

Eliot frees himself and then:

File this under the same thing. Lucifer is mocking Dean. Then Amara gets Lucifer/Cas in her clutches and:

Let’s also compare that Q has gained a sort of leverage over the monster/god. It will take care of Eliot’s body as Julia and Q help it to rebuild its original body. Thing is Amara gained leverage over everyone, especially Dean (this is also the precise moment I head canon that Amara knows she will not win over Dean no matter how strong the physical pull is between them.) She begins torturing Lucifer while he is in Cas, even sending a vision of beat up Cas to Dean, to what? Mock him? Taunt him? “Come to me Dean if you want to see Castiel live? Da fuq?

Granted, I am not sure Cas felt any of this if Lucifer had him so buried in his head he couldn’t open the door save for just briefly. There was no conversation like the one Eliot was able to have with Q to convince him, “I’m alive in here.” Dean was to convince Cas to eject Lucifer except Cas didn’t have a strong enough or big enough window to stay with them so Dean doesn’t get that chance to convince Cas to come back to them...imagine all the things that could’ve been said? Ironically, in the future, (episode 14x10) Cas would be the one convincing Dean to come back to them. To come back to the people who love him.

What am I rambling about? How I’ve been down this road before and it’s freeing to see how I don't have to question it when it comes to The Magicians. When can I stop doing the same for Dean & Cas and just let it be? Or perhaps I’m just projecting, reading into things on two completely different shows?

Hell, let’s just file the Dean & Cas story in the Library under star-crossed lovers. I think our Penny would give us a stamp of approval and a job well done.

#going down with these two ships #third place is deckerstar once I get Lucifer season 4 #so I'll drown myself in that soon #but for now #the magicians #is the gift that keeps on giving #oh #also #when wynonna earp gets back I'll be drowning in wayhaught plus jeremy x robin #for now #it is #queliot #and #destiel

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idontneedasymbol · 6 years

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13x22: Exodus

The best part of this episode? It's months before we get another Bucklemming episode!

--Actually the real best part of this episode was the brother hug. Short but such a sweet scene, just the capper that the angst of 13x21 demanded. (And that we didn't get in 12x02, and I am very glad season 13 managed to get back on the brothers train.) ...Also from what I've seen mentioned from the SPNUK con panels, J2 pretty much wrote it themselves, which explains a lot.

There was more I liked. Dean wanting to kill Lucifer dead on sight, yes, please. Make that happen. More importantly, Dean trusting Sam to handle Lucifer -- and not only saying so but following through. Him going through the rift first at the end there was one of the deepest signs of trust imaginable. (And I have no doubt Dean was standing by the rift back in the bunker, ready to dive back through if it started closing and Sam wasn't through -- but he waited, believing Sam would show, and then he did.) I was disappointed that Sam didn't get to stab Lucifer rather than just shove him away -- even if it wouldn't have killed him, would've been gratifying to see. But at least Sam got a moment. (As for the question of how they're going to get back to the AU with no archangel grace, @owehimeverything was guessing that Sam believed Jack could do it? But you'd think Sam could've swiped a little grace from Lucifer before he left.)(Just a little stabbing, is that too much to ask?)

AU!Michael is thoroughly unconvincing as a big bad -- we just have seen so little of him, there's no sense of what drives him or what he really intends to do. But damn that actor is smoking hot.

And I liked the rescue -- okay, it was pretty small-scale when you're talking about a world, but it was a good solution to Mary's dilemma, I like how quickly Sam thought of it and how quickly Dean jumped on board, and hey, I'm always up for saving people along with hunting things. (I do want to know how they apparently made it from Sioux Falls to Kansas in 2 hours, in a bus, on unpaved roads? Is the USA just smaller in the Apocaverse? It was pointed out that AU!Bobby’s camp wasn’t in Sioux Falls, and I’d forgotten the rift conveniently wasn’t in Kansas anyway but Kentucky. They are damned lucky everyone was so close, though. And also that they had one of those rare off-roading buses.)

Plus the boys riding in a Jeep gave me such Saiyuki flashes, oh man. (Minekura's Saiyuki, of course, which for those not in the know is a manga/anime series about four guys on a roadtrip through a demon-ridden fantasy land who have collectively about as much angst and tangled-up, agonizing and beautiful devotion as the Winchester brothers.)

The rest of the ep. Well.

As has been discussed much elsewhere, the whole conceit of everyone talking in vague terms to Jack about Lucifer being evil, without once specifying any of the many, many, many terrible things he's done, is just so absurd and so breaks the suspension of disbelief that it's mind-boggling. I cannot come up with a single in-character reason for it.

Maybe I can imagine Sam not being able to bring himself to speak of it, given that he hasn't ever really been able to talk about it with anyone. But him trying and going speechless would say a lot in itself. And even if Sam couldn't bring himself to do that much, Dean sure as hell could tell Jack about trying to pick up the pieces after Sam nearly shattered from just his memories of the Cage. Or what about Cas, who took Sam's pain and trauma then?

There's other things they could tell Jack too. Like about the many people killed when Lucifer tried to start an Apocalypse -- Jack is so angry about Michael, he needs to know that his father is the exact same kind of monster.

They could've played it that they try to tell Jack any of this and Jack refuses to listen -- it would be a bit OOC for Jack, but having everyone else be so wildly OOC is so much worse.

I wasn't sure how sympathetic we were supposed to feel for Lucifer -- whether he was meant to make you feel something at the end, or were you supposed to despise him for aping feelings he has no right to? Or just assume he's playing Michael? (Let's hope it's that last.)(Also I know he cried at one point but I have no idea why as @owehimeverything needed to get to bed so we did some fastforwarding. If anyone writes up a transcript of the ep I might read the Lucifer parts so I know what's happening, but no way am I going to subject myself to his dialog otherwise.)

Dean ordering Jack not to listen to Lucifer was just stupid -- come on, Dean's dealt with teenagers, he knows the surefire way to get them to do anything is to tell them not to do it. That's all I'll say about that because I'm running out of ways to express my frustration with the heroes being made into morons to advance the so-called story.

--No, I have more; it's also annoying because in some contexts it could almost make sense, if Lucifer actually were the honey-tongued snake he's supposed to be, Dean could be that desperate for Jack to just not listen to him. But that's not the case. The only reason Lucifer can talk his way out of anything is because everyone else's tongues were cursed. Like, Sam isn’t able to convince Jack not to go after Michael, but Lucifer can? No. That's just silly. No.

Also why is everyone ignoring Jack at the party at the end? They could all see he was getting close to Lucifer; it doesn’t occur to anyone that he might be distressed that Lucifer didn’t come through? Why is no one talking to Jack? They’re setting it up for Jack to take Lucifer’s side in the finale and it’s going to be sympathetic on Jack’s part because he’s getting so little understanding.

I still don't like Ketch, I don't understand why he's suddenly not a sociopath, I don't want him being slashy with Dean. Also did I miss it or was there nothing between Ketch and Mary, after her supposedly being a major motivating force for him?

I still don't like Bucklemming's love of torture, and having the boys/Dean especially gleefully torture someone. I also could not wrap my mind around why AU!Bobby would let them handle that interrogation rather than do it himself, as it involved his people more than theirs.

If Gabriel is really dead...what was the point of bringing him back at all? Did he contribute anything to the story? I guess his grace, once, but otherwise, why?

We fastforwarded through most of AU!Cas -- did he have a wacky accent or was I mishearing that? Why would either the angel or the vessel have an accent? And why was he in the same vessel as in our world, when no other angel has been?

And now AU!Bobby and AU!Charlie are back in our universe. Where’s that going? The show knows it can’t just pick up where it left off as if those characters never died, because these are completely different people -- it knows that, right? Right??? (Besides, I still want to know what happened to our Bobby’s soul, off in Heaven’s jail or wherever...)

Also they have achieved their reunion, everyone at home and safe until Michael and Lucifer show up. I admit, I am mildly curious where this all is going, because I don’t have a clue (even the major spoiler most of us know about is difficult to fit in with what we know, much less imagine where it goes from there?)

#exodus #season 13 #spn meta #ep analysis #meta #my meta #my post #spoilers #wank for ts #or at least negativity about the ep/season #if the show hands you bucklemmings

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amwritingmeta · 7 years

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youtube

Good morning, my lovelies! Lookee lookee what I woke up to, curtesy of @margarittet - I could die happy right now. But I don’t want to because I’d be damned if I missed even a second of this coming season!!

Let’s break this mother down!

1. A shot of a trench coated person walking on a darkened street. Dean (in V.O.) praying: “God–”

2. “–we… need your help.” Dean’s prayer carries on into a shot of Sam and Dean in the Impala on a stretch of forest road.

3. Sam and Dean pull up to a Pirate Pete’s. An edgy Dean says: “Before I destroy the world let me just grab a bag of curly fries.”

4. Quicker flashes of Dean fighting; Jack going very demonic; Dean throwing a knife over Sam’s shoulder while Sam looks taken off guard; Jack, in jeans and tan jacket, “another” teenager with him, using his powers and making a guy fly backwards

5. Sam talking to Dean: “We’ve been down before–”

6. “–we find a way. ‘Cause that’s what we do.” Sam and Dean exiting the lake house. It’s daytime.

7. FLASH of new Big Bad, a bearded gentleman wearing a white suit.

Insert: SEASON 13

8. MotW plant? Clawed hand, blonde girl screaming

Insert: IS THEIR

9. Quicker flashes of Dean (is it Dean though??) with a guy’s head between his legs being thrown violently onto a table (…………………….); Dean lit up by the headlights of a car, throwing himself out of the way

Insert: LUCKY NUMBER

10. Quicker flashes of bearded guy in Hell choking demons - and enjoying it; Sam, Dean and old dude wearing tan jacket and jeans on a slope, Dean shooting at someone wearing a jacket with a pattern on the back

11. Land with bearded guy in Hell, choked demons falling to the floor. Bearded Guy: “There’s a new sheriff in town.”

12. Back with the moment after Dean has thrown that knife over Sam’s shoulder, both of them looking wary

13. FLASH of someone getting thrown against a wall

END.

So what can we NOT discuss here? I will speculate around these images based on what we know of the first six or so episodes that have been shot so far and we can take it from there. I am so sure that the more savvy knowers of interiors/exteriors/set decor/props etc. and how they’re used on this show will be able to add, and are adding, their own interpretations and thoughts all over, so I’m excited to throw my two cents in.

Firstly *slow clap* they give us Dawn of Darkness and then Season Thirteen Is Their Lucky Number within hours of one another. (they must surely be taking the piss at this point) (I love it so much)

1. So, this is Cas. I mean it has to be, right? Resurrected. This image of his resurrection set to the word God, and to the sound of Dean praying - it’s quite a formidable introduction to the season promo that, unsurprisingly, doesn’t have any Cas in it. They’ve kept his return under such wraps that giving away what role he’s playing in the narrative of S13 would surely be a ginormous spoiler. So all we get is a possible glimpse, but it’s a glimpse that OPENS the promo, and it’s a glimpse set to Dean PRAYING, praying for God’s assistance, for HELP - one of Cas’ fucking catch phrases (I can help, I only wanted to help) *mind slowly melting with impressions*

2. Sam and Dean in the Impala and that “we” shows that the brotherhood is as strong as ever, as it should be, now with everything they’ve lost and with all that they’re facing. Love this shot of them in Baby, love the winding road, love the implications of journeys and forward momentum - carry on you wayward sons kind of moment.

3. Okay, so… Firstly, it’s a very kid’s themed restaurant so the parental theme feels like it’s already being visually planted. And THEN DEAN IS FUCKING REJECTING FOOD. I know, I know, they have sort of possible End of The Universe stuff to worry about but WHAT??? COPING MECHANISM NUMERO UNO CHECKED OFF THE LIST AS INSUFFICIENT. *mind turning to mish* *I mean mush* *naw it always turns to mish* Okay, so he might still eat. But his first reaction is to reject it. Like wow. Also - edgy much? Irritated and angry over Sam suggesting something he thinks will bring Dean comfort and just YASSSSSSSSSSSSS. Yas please.

4. Okay, so the plants of Dean fighting feel standard, like the MotW flashes (if that’s what they were) but this fighting is cut between shots of Jack: first the UBER DEMONIC one - and yay for this! So Jack will take off for self-preservation reasons in 13x01. It’s shown how Sam and Dean leave the lake house alone, so all bets are on Jack just taking off immediately and the brothers debating whether to kill him on sight, or reason with him.

The second flash of Jack here is him wearing the tan jacket and jeans we’ve seen him wearing in shots from the set, so we do know that clearly Sam wins out, they decide to reason with him, or he shows them that he’s just frightened and confused and they both rally to him (knife throwing scene feels like it might have something to do with this scenario…). Anyway, this flash of a scene, where Jack throws a guy into a wall just using his hand, could be Jack acting instinctively (which is what I’d like to think is all he can do at the moment, what he has to learn is how to control and tap into his limitless power without it getting the better of him) (age old set up for this type of thing, right - it’s basically Jack’s coming of age story) or it could be Jack being violent for violence sake. We’ll see which way they take it, what his journey is, my bet is on the lack of control, though, moving him and the rest of the characters onto a path towards finding that inner balance needed to feel whole.

5/6. I’m dead. THIS has killed me. My brain is no longer melting, it’s boiling like lava. FFS. Holy hell. SHITBALLS AND ACHING PRIVATE PARTS THIS IS AMAZING. If it is what I read it as: Sam HAVING TO CONVINCE DEAN THEY CAN DO THIS BECAUSE DEAN IS READY TO GIVE UP. That, my friends, is depressed!Dean. And if we so get him for 30 glorious seconds of deep hesitation and lethargy, or of we get him for two scenes, or half an episode, I could not care less. The point is CAS IS DEAD AND DEAN CANNOT SEE ANY REASON TO KEEP FIGHTING. If I’m right in how I read this 1 ½ second plant. :) The circumstances of this scene could be something else ENTIRELY. Pinch of salt, guys. ;)

7. So. The bearded gentleman. I read someone saying it could be AU!Lucifer in a new vessel, which I kind of LOVE… Would he go to the cage and kill Adam to get rid of Michael? I really would LOVE a scene or two with the cage and Adam and crazy Michael (if he IS crazy, if that’s not just Luci being Luci talking smack about his big brother who keeps antagonising him) Asmodeus? Surely this guy WILL have a name we know, it’ll be a character they’ve planted before. Asmodeus, to me, makes most sense… But honestly, I have NO real idea here. Spec spec speculation.

9. Ummmmmmm. Yeah, if that is Dean getting thrown violently into a table, that big, huge, muscle of a man has his face all up in Dean’s business. *cackle*

10/11. Oh yeah this just underlines that we have a new King of Hell. Who calls himself a “sheriff” (cowboy theme all over this season, yes please) and wears a white suit, as someone already pointed out in the YouTube comments: like Sam when he was Lucifer’s vessel. So that could hint at this actually being AU!Luci… Or our Lucifer’s handmade soldier. Who knows! I’m excited to meet him, he looks badass and fucking amazing! *loud fast happy clapping*

12. Yeah, as mentioned - it feels like that knife is thrown at Jack, but this is absolutely me just inferring my own interpretation of why this particular flash is there and why they come back to it like it has actual significance. One flash of Dean throwing the knife and ok, fine, but here it looks like the brothers are actually in two mindsets in this scene: Sam looks taken aback and Dean throws the knife with an angry determination. The knife doesn’t seem to stick, though, as both of them stare as though they’re wary of what will come next, but Dean is the one who moves. Perhaps this is the moment they take Jack on, Dean coming over to Sam’s side that Jack’s just a kid at the end of the day… Awwwww, idk, but it is fun to be this inspired. My brain is on FIRE.

If you want to weigh in, please, do! This is all spec ^^^^^ and my reading of these brief shots so if you want to add or just flail with me (or scoff though I’d enjoy that less but I’ll still put my arm around you because scoffing is valid too) then I’m always so damn happy to hear from you all!

Tagging the old faithfuls: @margarittet @naruhearts @tinkdw @weathergirl83 @bluestar86 @sactownbrowns3 @thetwistedwillow @magnificent-winged-beast @daughter-of-the-rain-and-snow

Ok fuck it I'm dying to tag a few more metas!

Hey you guys! Would just love to know what you guys think overall of the promo so forget the spec part if you're not into that, would just be so happy to know your impressions!! @super-sootica (my love!) @postmodernmulticoloredcloak @floralmotif @obsessionisaperfume @elizabethrobertajones

#spn s13 PROMO #it is HERE PEOPLE #omfg omfg omfg #couldn't be more excited #this season is going to be the bommmmmb #spn s13 spec #spn s13 discussion #dean winchester #sam winchester #cas #jack the nephilim #spn lucifer #heaven vs hell and earth in between

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naruhearts · 6 years

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13x20: “I don’t care what happens to me”-- Dean Worthless Winchester, John Winchester’s Death and Destiel

Oh my god!

I gotta say, 13x20 was an ANGSTY FEELSY amalgamation of meta and foreshadowing for the Big Finale Triad of 21, 22, and 23. It laid down S5 tones, key themes, and narrative direction, hoo boy!!!

I’m sorry I posted late! Time-of-month sickness was an interruption, yikes.

I’d like to start with the Dean & Sam final scene, then talk about the major culminating implications this Father-centric episode specifically holds for our beloved protagonist Dean Winchester the shackled child — the Man behind the Mask (which S13 has been a gigantic narrative mirror of) — and the Destiel narrative/Cas in relation to Dean’s arc and character disposition *rubs hands together*

Glynn & Co made Dean’s axel-swinging between communication and miscommunication pretty clear to me in the last scene of 13x20, especially regarding the dialogue that people thought was character regression into Brodependency.

After sleeping on it, I didn’t see the same scale of toxic codependency from seasons ago a la ‘there ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.’ It wasn’t mutual. I saw it as: 1. more from Sam’s end, and 2. Dean’s willingness to protect his loved ones (Sam and CAS, in bold) combined with letting go and the textual acknowledgement of his low self-worth carrying over from 13x05 (the low self-worth he internalized across 99.6798% of his life course).

Firstly, Dabb’s subverting S5.

He put independent Dean in S5 independent Sam’s shoes here, and it’s surely not a coincidence that Dean himself referenced their implosive S5 Michael-Lucifer mess: “Where we were last time we had front row seats”. S5 exhibited Dean’s Holding On vs Sam’s Letting Go, with lost Dean crawling to Lisa’s door and yeah, we know how that prickly-edged story went. It’s finally Dean Letting Go vs Sam Holding On. It’s indicative of S13 faithless Grieving!Sam re: Mary/Jack seeking his own emancipation and finding real introspective purpose away from the codependent strings he’s clinging to. We heard Sam’s “If we die, we die together”. Don’t fret, his current arc is constructed to get rid of this kind of thinking and move towards Faith!

Dean’s prepared to cut the codependent strings — already has via 12x22, and then in 13x05 (albeit in a suicidal grief-ridden manner. Speaking of, 13x20 this time shifted focus to Sam’s risk-taking re: Lucifer and the Apocalypse in itself. Unsurprisingly, we already witnessed this narrative train running in reverse -- early S13 Grieving!Dean and Functioning Sam swapped roles post-13x06 and in 13x11. Man, I am pumpin’ my fists).

Atop the bro dualism, Dean’s behaviour in 13x20 concerned me the most, saddened me the most, and intrigued me the most.

:’(

I may have yelled said that Dean has emotionally matured, eliminated toxic coping mechanisms, achieved an internal balance between his femininity and non-performative masculinity (acknowledged in 13x04; actively manifested in 13x16 onwards x, x), and gained a sense of non-combative communication and understanding (seen in 13x14), yet his low self-worth constitutes the biggest roadblock to his FULL personal growth.

Okay, I know you’ll exclaim: after Cas returned, Dean wasn’t depressed anymore!

Well, that’s accurate and relatively inaccurate. Dean’s low self-worth is the central facet of his characteristic development, and it does have a guaranteed correlation with depression. Yes, you can feel worthless without being clinically depressed, but worthlessness is maladaptive and contributes to feeling depressed --> Dean’s depression.

Dean’s case is a heartbreaking one. He’s been depressed for YEARS. He never really cared about what happened to him for YEARS = our Dean meta textualized in gloomy letters!!

Yes, the single individual -- the canon WIN -- that placed him back on the rails was Cas, his Everything, resurrecting from the dead. Cas’ return drastically mitigated Dean’s severe nihilistic depression (aka his rock bottom nihilistic grief when he lost Cas) BUT it didn’t necessarily fix his pre-existing depression.

S13 depicts Dean -- despite Cas’ bright presence -- as traveling the rails empty. There’s not enough coal to fuel his engine because he LACKS the mental faculties to appropriately cope re: trauma and give up his control. This is why he seems to oscillate between character progression and regression, and he still isn’t 100% HONEST and OPEN about his feelings. He’s keepin’ it in. There’s no healthy psychological unload taking place.

Case in point? Dean’s regressed to drinking the hard booze again; Cas FILLS the negative spaces (as he’s been doing throughout S13). Dean is not disclosing the whole truth -- not saying what he’s genuinely feeling (to CAS. I discuss it x, x, x).

Plus, Dean’s internal worries re: Death, the next apocalyptic war, Cas’ Heavenly plans, and his respective destiny/fate (Death’s “See you soon”) just exacerbate the personal instability he’s experiencing.

And then we observe Dean’s parental duty rearing its head:

To me this is what reiterated the Brodependency being dismantled in late S12/S13 (12x22 and 13x12/15 in particular). Don’t get me wrong – Dean’s mostly let go. He was willing to leave Sam behind in 13x05 after losing the one person who textually means Everything to him.

Dean’s psyche is at a point right now where he AIN’T okay with Sam’s risk-taking. He questions his little brother’s half-baked plans and sympathizes with the close-to-here manic desperation (again, mirroring S5 and S13 Grieving!Dean), except Dean’s low self-worth puts him in the dark position: I’m doing it, all of it, for YOU (Sam and Cas) since I don’t value myself enough to do it for ME. He further says--

He obviously does, but us, the audience, know--in dramatic irony fashion--that this is NOT Dean’s entire truth.

He values his brother more than himself, and he values CAS more than himself. He cares about what happens to CAS. Nothing Else Matters. And we’re aware that Cas canonically occupies the highest pedestal in Dean’s life, which TPTB absolutely highlighted during Dean’s grieving arc, Cas’ return, and 13x16 onwards.

(In this scene, Dean continues to tell Sam what he’s NOT telling Cas. USE THE RIGHT WORDS.)

Cas is the love of Dean’s life, his Everything, and his Win. I mentioned before that losing Cas a second time would destroy him.

(**Dating 101: Dean therefore cannot establish a truly healthy, mutually interdependent relationship with Cas if he has low self-worth. He’s trying, but his personal losses -- more LOSSES than wins this season i.e. AU!Charlie/Mary/Jack in AU, non-confronted traumas i.e. Cas’ death, and insecurities cripple his ability to give Cas ALL of himself, out in the open!)

Although Dean HAS FAITH (Cas), the decisions he’ll formulate to protect/save Sam, Mary, Jack, and especially Cas aren’t exactly derived from mental stability. Keeping them safe is too paramount to Dean that the choices he’ll encounter could be questionable/dangerous, putting him in the line of (sacrificial) fire.

Sound familiar? It’s deliberately supposed to sound familiar!

Jack, TFW’s Unity/Balance symbol and characteristic mirror, even stated that ‘if he can’t keep others safe, what’s the use’?

Dean will make the penultimate save-the-world (read: save my family) decision ALONE regardless of Sam’s regressive wish to die together. And I wrote that his arc is now DIRECTLY paralleling S11 Casifer & Depressed!Cas’ S11/12 arc, especially (mis)communicative 12x19 --> 12x23 ‘I Have Faith’ Cas. There’s prevalent narrative symmetry in Dean’s arc (intrinsically linked to Cas’ arc).

“You, me, and Sam...we’re just better together” indeed, and this year’s season-ender should unite TFW like last season--unite Dean and Cas--in order to change their fates/defeat Death, but Dean’s decision will be an isolated one --> one that was foreshadowed as he faced expositional Daddy Issues™ Loki by himself. And Dean may not tell Cas, just like Cas hadn’t told Dean in 12x23 about his sacrificial act.

These vastly important storytelling threads ultimately conjoin with “I don’t care what happens to me. I never really have” as the PINNACLE of Dean’s 13-year long characterization; the progressive climax sparking his death/decay so that he can be reborn and revitalized aka THIS IS IT!! Dean’s impending death and self-sacrifice for his loved ones (CAS) = the ultimate catharsis in that S13′s narrative has finally approached the IRL scenario of 13x16 ghost kid (DEAN)’s release from father figure Bad Man -- from the negative influence of all the other literal (Loki, Odin, Lucifer, James Turner) and metaphorical (Asmodeus, Buddy, Michael) fatherly mirrors permeating this season. He’ll LET GO of everything that incarcerated him since he was 4 years old: his Blunt Tool role, control, manipulation, parental abuse and absenteeism, parental duty, the heteronormative patriarchy, and the long-standing trauma slapped on him by Alastair, Amara, and Cain.

He’ll burn the remaining pocket knife of all pocket knives tethering him to his past -- John Winchester x, x He’ll self-transform.

And Dean’s S13 death would fulfill the sacrificial Act of True Love (with Cas holding heavy weight in Dean’s decision for LOVE)--

--and S14 Winning Him Back in the subverted flavour of S10. Romance tropes abound!!

@thetwistedwillow and @sactownbrowns3 both ignited my stomach-churning feels. This is an extremely pivotal visual. The Michael-reminiscent sword and radiant halo-like lights atop Dean’s head? Yeah, set off HUGE Michael!Dean radars. Complete moral dualism with S10 Demon!Dean--selflessness vs selfishness. Free choice (saying yes to possession) vs stolen choice (demon transformation against his will).

Secondly, as aforementioned, Dean’s harbouring a LOT of traumas he hasn’t mentally confronted, with Daddy Issues™ re: John Winchester (reflected via Dean’s solo faceoff with Loki) as his overarching undealt source of trauma.

Loki tells Dean: “The truth is, [Odin] despised me, but he was my father. I’m sure you understand. What would you do for your father?”

And Dean stabs Loki’s hologram. He stabs the metaphorical father figure who neglected his sons. He stabs another narrative embodiment of John’s ghost, foreshadowing that Dean’s death = John Winchester’s final death. It’s time to deconstruct and conquer his influence.

(Gabriel was an extended mirror of both Dean and Sam, too. Gabe, the little brother whom deadbeat Daddy Chuck never paid attention to. ‘Ah, big bros, right? Always think they know best’ Gabe, who stabbed and killed deadbeat Loki. Gabe, who subsequently ran away from home, was used and tortured beneath Asmodeus’ control, embarked on a revenge trip, and didn’t feel good about it. Dean and Sam themselves knew what it felt like to be manipulated. While it’s true that their traumatic experiences are subjective, they share common Deadbeat Father-adjacent life courses.)

What beautiful and consistent silent storytelling!!

And oh look, narratively associated to this ^^ is the reappearance of Dean’s John-linked BAG OF EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE--

I can’t can’t can’t wait for him to let go of it PERMANENTLY!

And of course, Cas’ death remains his immediate significant source of undealt trauma (same links above: x, x, x)

*looks at Dean’s serious, intense, and emotionally laden expression* *clutches chest tight* *blinks away tears*

I additionally wrote something about Endverse!Cas and D/C (mis)communication a few months ago which I feel is relevant again:

And we know HUMAN Endverse!Cas was representative of that, a sad, depressed, and hollow depiction of the wrong choices for the right reasons who festers (AND DIES), in part because of Dean’s wrong choices, and also because of his own consciously uninformed, narrow-minded choices that led to this literal apocalypse of mind, body and soul.

5x04 laid down what Cas (and Dean) shouldn’t become. If both Cas and Dean (TFW) continue to fail in learning their lessons regarding healthy interdependence (where control must become equality; ignorance must become understanding; intransigence must become compromise; stonewalling must become transparency; lying must become honesty; silence must become communication), Endverse will be their life.

Thankfully, they’re learning as of S13 onwards and I’m ECSTATIC. Slow but sure progress (13x15′s conveying the shift), yet they still have to use the RIGHT WORDS.

Endverse!Dean, who never gave up his control to Cas nor listened to him, was himself consumed by the NEED over the WANT and an authoritarian means to an end. He lost everyone. And Endverse posed an ultimatum for Dean (and Cas’ own characteristic progress): keep your control forever, and you’ll have one destination–no growth, no life, no freedom.

Full circle!

Dean Winchester must die so he can live.

And what are Dean’s WINS (plural) by dying? Saving people instead of losing people--saving Mary, Jack, Sam, and Cas. Saving the world. Reuniting his family unit. Interacting instead of performing. OUTING INSTEAD OF HIDING. HIGH DEPRESSIONLESS SELF-WORTH INSTEAD OF LOW DEPRESSIVE SELF-WORTH.

Better yet, Dean will undergo character development in relation to his loved ones (and Cas). With high self-worth, Dean’s capable of learning how to value HIMSELF independently. In turn, without personal obstacles he’ll learn how to sustain HEALTHY interdependent relationships and COMMUNICATION as well as learn how to WHOLLY GIVE HIMSELF to others (Cas).

Tell Cas he’s not expendable, Dean. Disclose the real reason YOU “needed him back”. Expose your feelings, choose Want over Need, and push away your rejection fears! Cas loves you dearly—let him know that his love for you is reciprocated. Nothing but good things ahead!!

Gosh, this post is way longer than I expected—thank youu for sticking to it! Circumstances shall get worse before they get better, and it’s totally necessary to ensure our characters meet the final demise of their prisons.

BTW, I still can’t believe we got a borderline blatant onscreen bi!Dean (and Cas insert) treat!! What’s by is by! Overall I’m incessantly praising Dabb’s spectacular work so far + Glynn and Rich Speight Jr’s craft in this ep!!

Very little sub is left in the text, my friends. TPTB are rendering years’ worth of meta increasingly explicit in S13. I can only HOPE and expect that 13x23/S14 brings us past the Point of Know Return subtextual boundaries and into full-blown textual narrative! Authorial intent EXISTS.

**I know, I know--S14 wasn’t confirmed as the last season and S15 is fair game. The plot accordion, as per usual, re-emerges with the slight overhaul/pullback of characteristic arcs and narrative plot due to season renewals, but I’m Endgame Positive that slow progress is SURE progress. Imho Dean and Cas are so close in saying everything from saying nothing. THE UNSAID WILL BE SAID.

Bracing myself for the last 3 episodes—they’ll burn us in awesome ways!!

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bluntache · 6 years

Text

hello , everyone. please inbox me if you have a specific verse you prefer . all are listed under the cut . & on my verses page , in full.

verses.

#` . &.* carnage feels like home / au . ( v.

dean’s been fucked up since he can remember. if it’s nasty, he wants it. if it's wrong it feels right. he’s tired of babysitting and he’s tired of taking orders. veering off on his own more often than not, he’s got a secret. he likes blood on his hands, black blood, red blood, he’s not picky. he just wants the raw freshness of a kill on his hands. his weapon of choice is whatever is available but his knife is always on him. warm blood helps wash away the bad memories. and sometimes, it helps him forget the fire.

in this verse , the fire happens and all events still occur however dean is not the same as canon dean . he gets off on dominance / power / and killing . he is not concerned with sammy staying alive unless it helps him in some way. he’s does what his father says but only because he doesn’t want to be found out. after his father dies he gets a lot worse . sam (most times) turns into a conciouse of sorts that he uses to guide his actions (wwsd? -what would sammy do) . he only does this if he needs to keep a low cover. when castiel comes along , dean finds him a pain in the ass but grows to enjoy him. over time he wants more and more to own the angel and to influence him to become more like dean. more dark / more fallen . thx.

#` . &.* righteous man / canon . ( v.

anytime we write canon dean. meaning he will be like canon dean. more submissive. not great with communication or his speaking his emotions. he's emotionally stunted and co-dependent on his brother sam. this mostly follows the series and while it will include canon divergence it will not include anything too out of character for the actual series (like the carnage au i have).

#` . &.* a marked man / canon . ( v.

anytime dean has the mark of cain and is drawn to violence and blood shed. he's drawn to dark, terrible things such as killing, violence, hardcore sex, and other taboo things.

#` . &.* clever as the devil and twice as pretty / canon . ( v.

anytime dean is a demon, or knight of hell. in this verse he is typically devoid of emotions that drive him : such as guilt, etc. he still holds somewhat of a moral compass killing those who don't follow the rules or hurt children / rape women, etc. follows canon supernatural but is canon divergent if plotted.

#` . &.* the end is nigh but i am worse / canon . ( v.

this is dean's verse for anything related to the apocalypse, both in canon (end!verse) and alternate universes such as american horror story apocalypse or just apocalyptic au's. this dean fed into his dark desires after sam said yes to lucifer. using sam’s betrayal as an excuse to get his hands dirty without worrying about retribution or guilt. without any real ties to family or friends, dean allows himself to go very far into the dark hole of desire and destruction. using his brother as his excuse for his actions . we had to do it - or lucifer would have won.

#` . &.* purgatory / canon . ( vi.

anytime dean is in the realm of purgatory. can be canon divergent but typically written with benny or castiel.

#` . &.* bloody hands clear mind / canon divergent . ( vi.

dean never came after sammy (or if he did , sammy turned bad with him). instead he took the smarting abuse of his father one last time, citing to himself that the constant verbal and emotional abuse was enough to justify the bullet to the back of his head. he left him there. dressed it up real nice, like a present, even faked the scent of sulfur. ‘demons’ were real, so his dad said. dean figures his demons must be pretty real too, but now they’re dead, buried 6 ft under. he heads out and continues hunting, this time though, he starts hunting other kinds of horrors than just demons and ghosts. an anti hero.

#` . &.* holy fire cannot save you now / canon . ( vi.

anytime dean's body is taken over by michael, or in which michael is sharing dean's vessel with or without permission. covers both canon timeline and canon divergence regarding michael.

#` . &.* it's mr. corporate to you / canon divergent . ( vi.

a verse for dean in which he is dean smith, successful single child of mary and john winchester. loves golfing and fancy suits. eats salad everyday & is a ceo.

#` . &.* just call me coach kid / au . ( vi.

anytime that dean works at a high school or university. he is a football coach and gym teacher. he sometimes teaches history or health depending on what the school needs that year. in high school he is the head coach, in university he is the asst coach, defensive coordinator.

#` . &.* yer a wizard boy / au . ( vii.

dean is a gryffindor through and through. he has a knack for charms and transfiguration. his brother sam was sorted into slytherin, a shock to them both since they couldn't stand to be parted. they often eat outside so they can sit together. however, sammy is left perturbed at being separated than dean is. they are mudbloods. mary was a witch & john a muggle.

#` . &.* university bound / au . ( vii.

anytime dean is in university or graduate school. au as canon dean never went. in university he is often going for history, or engineering depending on the plot. he either makes money through working part time at the mechanic shop or by restoring old cars. if he is not a mechanic then he owns his own lawn mowing service.

#` . &.* teen dream / au . ( vii.

anytime dean is in high school, canon or not. in his alternate versions he's often a jock of some sort - typically football, although sometimes he is a male cheerleader.

#` . &.* creature feature / au . ( vii.

any time dean is something other than human or demon. this will include witch , vampire , werewolf, etc. this is used for any cross over.

#iii

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dwestfieldblog · 7 years

Text

SUMERIANTIME BLUES

With a Red Indian Summer chant...Hitherehowareya, hitherehowareya...Hi there, how are ya? Not my joke but I love it. Please don't ask what film it comes from, not exactly highbrow film noir, more low dirty primary colour cartoon. Anyway...let's pretend to be serious...arf.

Greetings from the Golden City/Anarcadia, all hail the black Madonna and the Rosy Cross...Sultry, feral and on heat...In the hollow of the temple, the vein that needs to burst. And at last, a storm to break the tension...release...a bolt of lightning smashed down about twenty metres from my window last night with an intensity of total sound I have never heard before. The ape man cowered in terror and the magician marvelled in thrill, which is how it should be...respect and wonder. Now, Morning song...At dawn there is an unknown bird which trills the first six notes of Stravinsky's The Firebird Suite'. Yes really. And, having checked, it is even the same notes. And the magpies sound like Varese. Meanwhile, back on the island...

Oh Britain... England my cowardly lion heart....I remember reading in 2008 that the UK has1percent of the world's population but 20percent of its CCTV cameras. Now, nine years later....'Rise and rise again till lambs become lions'? Pa! And HA! (Hiram Abif, the architect) From where does such passivity to irrevocable changes stem? GM Frankenfood? The oestrogen in the water supply? Chemtrails? Always seems a touch dubious to me when there are killing attacks made just before a general election and it is revealed that the 'lone wolf' characters were already known to the security services. If I were truly into conspiracy theories (and, despite all appearances, I am not), I might suggest that they were allowed to happen in order to have yet more restrictive laws passed by whichever party is in power. And of course, it is not the parties which hold the actual power. Are those muppet caricatures Boris and Gove going to blather and oil their way up the chain of slime again? At least we have the best sense of humour in the world...self deprecating sarcastic surrealism and a monopoly on fart jokes....

A Czech newspaper had the headline 'Britain Falls into Chaos.' Think that happened quite a long bastard while ago, but it could always be worse, says the realistic pessimist. My imminent 'holiday' in the UK will see me attempting to maintain my distance from the news but it will be hard not to be infected with the national mind set again. A hard discipline of emotional distance is required but I always love walking around the heart of London, the streets are ablaze and swarming with energies, stories and multicolour.

I set a smart teenage student some homework last week about what she would do if she were World President. A moral and well balanced page of A4 writing was handed over where her main idea involved better, deeper education for the poor and the masses (as well as support for genuine refugees and limited time on the Net for young people). Good work. I would start in those countries which pretend to be democracies but appear have become run by and full of deeply soulless idiots such as (fill in the blank). Educatshun is the onlee way forward oar wee is domed. Funn wiv langwidge.

Think about what the Mass believes and the fact that they are a Mass... the believed information used to be 'If the priest/teacher tells me, they must be right'...then that nonsense became 'If its in the papers it must be true'. Now it seems to have become 'If it's on the internet it must be real' Fake news and propaganda...Vested interests... oil and other businesses and Putin surpassing the former work of the CIA and stirring the shit up all over the world. What happens if I push these two groups together... then introduce a third party to cause a deepening chaos? Evil glee. Money to be made and power to be taken because Nature abhors the vacuum left after chaos...and psychic vampires adore the blood energy of fear.

Oliver Stone's serial on Putin...hmmm...does the baldhead truly feel himself as no more than a helpless cog in wheel of history, grinding on events beyond his control? Poor fellow. Looked cute together with the golden shower kid this month.

Heard that Michael Moore is to do a documentary on Duck Fart, sure it will be as righteously destructive as it needs to be...just sticking to the absolute facts and verbatim quotes in context should be enough to do it. Hoist him high on his own petard. Nice headline in the International Guardian about America becoming a rogue state due to the blonde egomaniac's decision to go against the climate change accord (and all his other genuinely insane ideas)...well his poor billionaire friends need all the support they can get eh? 'Evil' is un-evolved energy. So perhaps I should pretend to be a smiling Buddhist and feel sympathy for the sad little (ter)mites. But I don't. He and they of their ilk are ruining this planet and Mother is going to be very very angry. Earth First. Very decent of BP (British Petroleum) to have given Duck Fart 500,000 dollars for his election celebration. After 97 million dollars in corporate donations, you can be sure they expect him to be their whore bitch...or else.

And as for all his posturing against American law itself...after having sworn 'To protect, defend and uphold the Constitution of the United States'...with his hand on the Bible...hmmm....you have to laugh at his infantile rage against a democracy which allowed him within quacking distance of the White House, let alone into the Oval Orifice...Whaddya mean I can't build a wall (between the land grab of Tex Ass and Mexico) and take total control of U.S media? The darkest is yet to come, just before a golden dawn. Illuminated Ones, it is time to get your finger out and SHINE a light

across this globe. Get with it, get this foul reptilian out. The tweeting duck needs spit roasting. But first glaze him with a golden shower eh?

And in other depressing news... one of Osama bin Liner's sons has vowed to continue 'holy' war in his father's name and install a global caliphate. Etc. Nice to have a hobby. Good to keep busy with purpose... Without such, the ennui, nausea and panic set in hard and thoughts turn to suicide rather than mass murder, and we wouldn't want that eh? And yet worse... Au Sang Su Ki...it is becoming apparent that she is following in the bloody footprints of the ones who kept her imprisoned. I truly hope not but the facts scream for themselves. And as for Iran, a country where a girl can be held criminally responsible at the lunar age of 9 (boys get off easier at 15) but cannot actually be executed until they are 18....Allah bless such a merciful state of foul patriarchs...But to close that paragraph with a skateboarding duck story to send you to bed with a smile, good to hear the founding leader of daesh has gone to meet his harem of 72 virgins and their mothers in law, hope that isn't fake news.

Facebook...the recent F8 (FATE) event...new updates to augment reality on your mobile screens and share the images...well this would almost sound like art, if not for the fact 'FACT' (copyright Duck Fart) that Mr Zuckerberg (and here the NSA can pick up on an actual name in these blogs which generally use pseudonyms) is thinking of running for office. Or an orifice, take your pick. My tube/your Facebook is designed to make money and manipulate the gullible and outsource/ in-source their users information while you thrill to the idea of an unreal connection to truth. Suckers. Why let yourself be used as fodder unless you are truly a deep masochist? You had better be DAMN sure that you do not care whether or not you are a puppet. Psychic nudity is only for those who have truly chosen such. I stand by everything I have written in every blog. Networking keeps you in touch with a distorted and distracting version of reality, i-phone therefore I am...anti-social media... 'Every day of your life, you're sitting in a database, just ready to be looked at'. E.S.

Been wondering again about the prevalence of doctors who prescribe drugs just because they have been given free holidays or various enticements by the companies which make them. Not such a far fetched idea unfortunately. I have had recent talks with various chemists in Czech and the UK about this too to check the facts. Seems a real shame that so many healers work against their own Hippocratic Oath. A promise of hypocrisy perhaps. A special circle of Hell is reserved for them...

Apart from my five worsening health problems, I seem to be recording two double cds...33 songs now and another ten possibles on the peripheral third eye horizon. I plan to have only three more sessions in which to complete all. See how I love to count. Wonder which will stop me first, illness or lack of money? Already not looking forward to the non Zen emptiness of winter...so New Zealand here I come...

'I long so much to be where I was before I was me.' (Screamin' Jay Hawkins.)

Occasionally my usual good natured self (ARF/fnord) is over-run by the blackest of humours...yesterday, walking down a long main street, I saw a small group of folk with banners and twisted expressions, and stopped to be given two leaflets which caused me to laugh out loud like Lucifer as I went on my way. Early next morning I checked their web site...; 'RAPTURE... HE WILL COME SOON, ARE YOU READY?'. That's how excited his followers make him feel. Open your orifices and let the load of the lord in. Impregnate thyselves with the holy seed...Sex and religion are always such an arousing mix.

Once more, for the lossless Hi-Fi record, I have my own personal belief in what I call God and the Christ and all the others...what I dislike is those who interrupt without being asked and push their rant/laws/insanity on others. All rivers will flow in return to the ocean. Fundamentalist missionaries of ALL creeds are foul and lonely in desperation and use fear to persuade. No Love in any of them. Humans will find their way...or not. Some of us will, some won't. The energy generated by the few will be stronger than the lack of it from the mass. Phase transitions have been taking place for decades and will continue, sense it for yourself...taking some advice from guides you have manifested in your life by 'coincidence' is not the same as blindly following leaders.

I am fairly close to being a dictionary definition of the word stupid/stoopid, just smart enough to recognise this. I have a certain unbalanced logic but made my choices decades ago. To the bitter-sweet end and until I am screaming with pain for one reason or another, will regret nothing except not having been a father. Fuj to the liars and manipulators, their own poison will destroy them eventually. Not in my lifetime but quite possibly in theirs. Self educate yourself but check the source and when certain, flow with it. Blah blah blah...Trust yourself but only after you know who and what you are. I will be all right if you kiss me. So sayeth the Omega Male.

'Better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt'. Abraham Lincon said that, yes really. I should certainly shut up, but after all these pages, it must surely be clear just how deep a fool I am anyway. Anyway...

Next in the sequence of slogans and logos noticed these days, a girl with a bag upon which was written; 'Walk like you're a mediocre white man'. Easy enough to obey that command. I met an exceptionally cool black African guy last month who was applying for status here. He spoke excellent French, having lived there...I asked him why he wanted to live in Prague rather than France and he replied 'There's too many black people in France.' He was a true believer of Almighty Jah and one of his favourite songs was 'You'll Never Walk Alone' because of 'its righteous truth'. Effortlessly natural and down to Earth, with his soul in Heaven already. Surely even Nazis must realise on how many levels white folk suck? Perhaps that is one basis for their hatred...jealousy.

Back in a room with golden light, curtains of smoke at 8pm, yes I am smoking again, surely the dumbest thing anyone can choose to do...And back to Dexedrine jazz 1958, still amazed how much I love this now, a broadening mature palette or a genuine sign of old age? Straight, no chaser.... Miles Davis and John Coltrane in wild abandoned synchronised improvising harmony...My liver is going the same way as Coltranes', shame I don't have an eighth of his talent. If I could play guitar the same way I whistle, I'd be a star. Or a black hole. Arf. Anyway...the next evening...

Wide open window...evening sky, sunlight on the cloud rims, the swallows circling, the dark green spaces between the leaves of the Horse Chestnut tree...even the houses look beautiful in glass and stone, a breeze through the window, breathing, every atom open in expectant silence. Beauty. Good to feel alive before you no longer inhabit flesh. A day is a wasted blasphemy without creating, working or truly taking it easy and watching the river. Wonders never cease...Love is Light...

See you later or not, meanwhile...you (yes, YOU) might like to have a look at this website and follow various links within the vast library. Knowledge of actual truths is always useful, so go and get Gnostic on yourself...

www.halexandria.org/home.htm

Have fun, may ye be illuminated:-)

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