Ode to the toontown yandere blogger

A man? Or a boy.?

Sukana x black reader.

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Sukana

hear me out now , As a young black female i shouldn't put myself with this, but i cant resist them pretty ass eyes of sukana... yujji and sukana both fine as hell but lets be real now.... Just sukana is more so freaky and yujji is an innocent angel, if anything, i wanted sukana.

But ever since they were able to separate Yujji and Sukana from ones body, i couldnt resist him no more. Super sexy. He didnt look like him regular self like the curse self, He look like an evil twin of yujji. I wouldve never fell for Ryomen Sukana. Never, If it wasnt for his boldness and cockiness.

" Y/n, What are you doing staring at that thing forever?" Maki had asked me, She was close to my arms but not too close to graze the skin, but she was close. " Nothing Maki, nothing i'm just curious." she gave me the most curious snd digusted look ever, "dont fall for him, King of curses, Dont fall for his shenanigans, he'll hurt u."

I look at her so fucking crazy, and i started getting upset, because 1, Dont fucking play w/ it, Anybody would want my big fatass and these hips, And also the fact that i look good asfk in these clothes? Maki b quiet. " Maki. trust he aint hurting nb." I was js annoyed with herrr cs wtffff?

Maki stared off at the midnight glow and sighed pretty hard " Well, im going to call it a night tonight y/n." i replied with " Aigh girl cs im tired as shit."

===================

Whilst me talking the walk back to my dorm, I see sukana and yujji, Gojo talking. I stand for a second, Just sight seeing ( iykwim.) Until Of course, The sourcer had to call me

"Y/N, Y/n Come over hereee for a secondd!!"

God i need to walk fasta, Cause the clothes im wearing?? I can't, Too revealing. I try walking faster away, even tho i'm tall ( IF UR SHORT THAN UR SHORT .) I can't unfortunately outwalk the three, especially not sukana. Sadly but truely the trio somehow caught up.

" Whats up Gojo, What's up Yujji!"

" Hey Y/-"

" Your gonna act like im not here?" I froze, because, it wasnt even the case, i just didnt, well fuck that is was gonna act like i couldn't. " Y/n What are u wearing at this time?! You know perverted boy will be trying to snatch u, And worse curses will yk.." Yujji said to me, Looking me up and down mostly down cause my ass cheeks were poking out these jeans shorts and especially the thong. I and my sister decided to go to the beach and we got back a couple hours ago so here i am.

I try to ignore yujji's comment but sukana ofc big mouthed bitch said, " No seriously." he laughed " Imagine all the shit i'd do."I roll my eyes and a slight blush came across my face, Probably not even noticeable bcs of my melanin glow, But i proceed to say, " Sukana, Please try and be a grown man instead of a lil ass boy, Try nd have sum fucking respect nigga, Cs i respect u and your dumbass."

Sukana didn't say anything, But the look in his eyes said enough, It was a glow almost. But genuinly i was scared, Cs it just slipped out, I've always wanted to be treated right, my pops couldnt do that, So i look for it in every man i've dated or tried to associate with and most have been children. I beg for somebody to treat me right and i look idiotic.

" Goodnight lil ass boy."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Morning time. I get up,shower, Eat, Brush my teeth, Do my hair, skincare and then, i put my lipgloss and lashes on and call it a day. It's about 8 am as of now, And i start studying for an exam, These notes, EXHASTION. I feel overwhelmed as it is y'all. Last thrusday, I was supposed to have a date with this cute Cubano, comes out i got ditched, Of course. I cried in Gojo's and yujji's arms FOR HOURS. But they love me sooooooo it was fine, that they shirts looked like white rags, But guess what, Whole time sukana was over here fucking eyeing me, Looking me up and down, but then again i remember the dress i wore, i had thongs on, pink ofc, and my hair was combed out into an afro and i have lip liner and mascara and gloss on, but i wear lashes now because when i cry they dont smear. I dunno he js hates me when all i want from sukana is to be thrown on the bed and fucked to tears but not by a boy, by a man. Sukana is old as hell, We all know that, I'd think he'd be grown and mature, but he's worse than a 15 year old in heat.

Sukana Pov

" Sukana, Please try and be a grown man instead of a lil ass boy, Try nd have dum fucking respect nigga, Cs i respect u and your dumbass."

What the fuck is going on. A little boy? Really? i'm a grown ass man, I have killed many, And this bitch calls me a lil ass boy? She doesn't even know how i'd handle her and those tight ass jean shorts? She wants to see a man? She wants a man to treat her? I know how to treat women, but Y/n doesnt understand, I'm restraining everything not to pounce on her, i want her, but the fact that she thinks just because i tease her means anything that i hate her? i know she likes me, i just know, and i wanna please her badly but as a curse, i shouldnt interact with her.

But of course, something is now pushing me to knock on her door. I'm not nervous, Too prideful for that, I know my motive right here at her door. Im gonna confront her fucking ass since shit funny and imma show ha ass rn how a man treat a bad bitch cs she think issa joke?

" Hollon shi, I'm changing."

Fuck, She's changing rn, i should just barge in, but i'm better than that. I hear footsteps and running through the house, and i hear the door of her dorm lock, Everything slows down now, I dee her, She doesnt have lashes on, It's mascara, Lipgloss and a pink stanley in her hand, Her hair, Curly, Long, And it's long and down her back.

" Sukana what the fuck are u doing here, Get the fuck on somewhere."

I stare a bit longer until i respond shortly, " Y/n, Let me in the fucking dorm room, right fucking now. We needa talk.."

The clothes. A big ass white tee, Thats off the shoulder, Showing her tatted shoulder, It says, " Curase en salud."

her panties, on the back say, " Fuck hole." that must be printed or sum, but their like bikini panties. Her ass is plumped as fuck.

Y/n's pov

" Y/n, Let me in the fucking dorm room, right fucking now. We needa talk.."

" Sukana, no, Ur fucking crazy get ou- Euhp-."

Sukana pushed passed me and took my waist in his hands, and pushed me close to him and said.

" why tf u call me a lil ass boy hm?" I play a smirk on my face, Trying to shave the fear out of me and the excitement, " I call it how i see it." His eyes were furious, lustful, and passionate. " Let me prove to you, i'm a man y/n, I shouldnt have to prove myself to someone younger than me by so much, but i can prove this to u, that i am a man."

I felt his bulge right on my crotch. Growing really though, I didnt really say nun back, I couldn't, He was squeezing my ass so tight, My tits shining on his chest, because the off the shoulder tee was really low. " Sukana please, Just leave ." I plead, I never actually thought, Sukana ryomen, Would be in my dorm, gripping my ass, and having my tits so bunched together til now, He was just a dumb little cru-

" I was just a dumb little crush?...."

His eyes glowed with the low light, and i tried to not be turnt on by me and him in my dorm, I'm trying to release myself from his grip but genuinely dont want to leave his hands, But i'm fighting him, but he's not budging, At all, I'm sorry maki but imma end up giving it up. Been a virgin til now and msybe it's time to say bye.

" y/n stop fighting it right now, You want it, i want it, You want me to prove to you i can be a man, and imma show you ri now, All them tim's u go crying to gojo, me and yujji, over some lames, i think, if i had a chance at that, m's gonna fuck that shit up, let me fuck it up, let me treat u.

i finally stop fighting, And now i look him dead in his eyes and i say, " U cant handle shit lil boy."

His eyes stopped wondering and looked me dead in the eyes, His eyes blazing with anger, and his mouth agaped, Showing thode terrifying canines.

" fuck that shit."

He dives straight for my lips, no hesitation at all, We're kissing and i havent melted into the kiss until i can feel the hunger behind the kiss, He gripping my ass, Enough to give me a mark. He pulls back, Taking his hand thats free and wipes my swollen lips, and announces, " Too damn beautiful not to get fucked like a slut tonight y/n."

He throws me over his shoulders, And slaps my ass hard, " Aiiii Sukana, put me down ! ." I start punching his back until i feel another hard slap, " AIII OKAY OKAY, I'll stop."

We find my bedroom, Or he finds it, And He throws me on the bed. My shirt lifted, my legs exposed, and my panties on display, i already feel my pussy damped super damped, i want him.

he slowly crawls ontop of me, His knee position at my entrance, and he starts kissing and nibbling my neck, and he's rubbing my sides, I'm not moaning until he finally puts pressure on my clit, " Arghh sukana, please, we cant, i'm Mngh-, Human, and AH ! Curse."

He shakes his head as he makes his way down my chest and starts by taking. a boob and making me nibble and nibble on my nipple, and the moaning is never ending because he's messing with me as of now, Because he'll put pressure on my clit than take it off and kiss my nipple and suck, He starts to grip my waist tighter, And now he's biting and kneeing my pussy and pressuring my waist, I feel a bit overwhelmed m... but since im a virgin, I didn't know this feeling but i hsd a little knowledge of how my pussy works.

" Sukana, m' gonna cum."

" No ur not, Are u fucking serious, You're not even senstive yet, you cum when i say cum."

I stop for a minute to see who he is talkikg about and i say, " Boy who tf are u- ARGH!! MGNH!."

I didn't notice, Sukana put my panties to the side and started Using his fingers, This was new, At least from someone else, It was new, i felt myself start to yell even louder, His fingers were moving at a intense speed, And as my orgasm was coming up, He stopped.

" 'ukana why baby, please let me cum..."

He started lowering himself lower and lower, Until all i can see is his beautiful pink hair. I feel him insert 2 fingers, and 2 on the other hand, And curl them. Y'all i hollered, Loudly.

" AHHHH."

Then a suctioning on my clit, it was his mouth, He was sucking it up. This only lasted a few seconds until, I got senstive and i started closing my legs and when i closed them tight, His head was the only thing in between them.

" Hey baby, lets keep'em opened for me?"

" senstive."

He looked annoyed as i look down and this time, He snaps my legs open with his hands, He strechs my legs wide and continues to suck my pussy raw and tight,, I started tighening around his fingers, Hard, and i started moaning uncontrollably and shaking, My legs ached tho becaude their was sukana, Fuck my clit and pussy so good. " kuna gunna cum..."

" no i stg if u cum, i gonna ruin u... dont fucking cum or i'll leave u here without an orgasm and let me come back and find out u fucked this pretty pink cunt, i swear will fuck everything up around u y/n, Do not fucking cum 'til i say, I know u can do it, you've wanted this, U and ur pretty pink cunt, so take it."

it's been forever since i been told what to do and i listened, Only my mama can geg me to shut up but sukana is handling my shit so well, i cant stop moaning it feels so overwhelming, the next thing i know is sukana stops finger fucking me and he looks at me snd my cunt and he smirks and he sees the mascara falling out of with my tears.

Sukana

My belt and pants. removed. her panties ripped. dick hard.

" be gentle pls.."

" nah, b a lil slut nd take this dick."

I pound inside of her, Fast, She screamed my name, and as i thrust i can feel js how tight her pussy truly is.

Though i am going way to far with it, i can't stand being called a lil ass boy? I'm a grown ass man. I throw my head back a little while beating her shit, i look down to see the lewd scene of the blood trickling down, This doggy style does no justice either but she looks so nice arching for me.

" FUCK!!! 'kuna, 'kuna , 'kuna, I'm cumming, i'm cumming."

nah

" Hell nah, No u not."

I wanna see her squirt, imma hold out for a lil, Making surr her pussy is tight and overstimulated, sentive. She starts shaking under my touch and my cock sliding in and out, but i just watched her with a burning glare to her head. She definitely knows better

She starts struggling a bit to keep up now, Her body is failing her as she falls, My arms not longer securing her.

She falling under my touch...

" ryo... please let 'm cum, i'm beggi- nghn, please."

Her legs suddenly eventually start failling, So i hook my hands under her butt, Turn her around while gripping her ass, Now i got her pinned against the door getting fucked in my hands, Her breath seeming a bit off, Shes been holding it in for a while i assumed. She finally starts tapping my chest like me and her are in a boxing rink and finally she says, " Im fk'in sorry for AGRH!! Calli- Mghn- u a FUCK, Lil boy, Jus' let m' cum."

creampie immediately. She knee as soon as my thighs clenched. I nutted in her. fuck.

" so u sorry now."

"....yes i am."

I grin to myself knowingly. i won.

I started making my way out, When she grabs my arm and says, " Kuna... what does this make us."

" friends?"

she stares at me like im crazy, but ik im not?? " What the fuck, U cant just fuck me crazy and then leave?" Oh but i can baby.

" well then earn my heart lil ass girl ."

FAVORITE SHOWS IN POSTERS

Well, we’re back for another installment of this tagged meme, this time for TV shows! I also stole this from/was indirectly tagged by @jcmorrigan. My taste in shows also differs a bit from my taste in movies, as I tend to like a lot of comedy shows with not as many horror ones. I’m not into shows as much as movies overall, but there are some that I am very passionate about so I picked twenty again. So, here we go for part 2, in order:

1. Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend Of Korra (2005-2014)

I'm including these as one show since they take place in the same universe and tell a continuation of the same overall plot. Altogether this is probably the best piece of media to ever exist, including movies. It has so many great characters and villains especially and some of the most epic sequences, charming humor and heartwarming moments ever. I've never met a person who didn't like these shows, even people who normally don't like cartoons. My dad, who is biased against animation? He loved it. My mother? She loved it, watched it with her multiple times. My grandmother? Loved it. My ex-boyfriend? Loved it. My best friend? Loved it. I dare anyone not to, and I'm so glad it's making a resurgence since it's on Netflix for a new generation to enjoy.

2. Black Butler (2008-2014)

I never was big into anime growing up and only really started watching anime when I was like 16 and above, but this is one of the exceptions because holy shit is it ever dark and epic. I'm not sure I'd really recommend it for kids, it's more of a teens and young adults kind of anime and that's probably why it's so good, because it isn't afraid to explore dark and mature topics and do it with all of the intensity and gravitas required to do said topics justice. It has lots of great characters, and the story of demons who make deals with children who have a dark side is fun to watch play out.

3. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

My dad was a huge fan of this show so I watched it growing up since I was a toddler and it became a classic for me. I've watched thw hole show through at least 8 times, and I'll never stop because it never gets old or boring. It's also my only comfort show when I'm having a panic attack because of one time a few years ago when I was having a drug-induced psychosis episode and watching it calmed me down, so now it's like the opposite of a trigger and whenever I'm having an episode or something I watch it to bring me back to reality. For that reason it's more than a show to me, it's a medical treatment and I'm forever grateful to it.

4. The Good Place (2016-2020)

The big four shows made my Michael Schur all made it on this post (The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office and Parks And Recreation), either in the main list of the honorable mentions, but this is my personal favorite of the four. It's so funny, quirky, relatable and basically tailor-made to suit my interests. Not only is it an entertaining and wholesome show, but I think watching it helped me come to terms with a lot of things like mortality, ethics, philosophy, religion and my relationships with other people. It gets  alot of different viewpoints across and if you're a very analytical and philosophical person like me you'll probably enjoy seeing it all play out. Not to mention, every single character is 'favorite character' material. It's rare you find a show with no filler characters in the main cast, but I genuinely can't choose who is best.

5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-?)

Another of Michael Schur's shows, this one is just barely under The Good Place and to be honest it was tough to pick my favorite between the two because they're both equally funny. I know it's kind of controversial right now because of the whole law enforcement thing, but I actually think they do a good job of handling social issues in the show and remaining respectful of real-life systemic problems. As for the characters, this is another one of those shows where every single character is gold and I think that tends to be a trend among Schur's shows in general. He produces damn good comedy, and damn good characters. I can't wait to see what they bring next.

6. Rick And Morty (2013-?)

This is unfortunately one of those cases of 'great show, horrible fandom' and for that reason I don't get involved in the fandom even though I love the show. It's a shame because it really is a great show, so funny and, again, such good characters. I think it's a lot more accessible than the fandom likes to claim, so I'm hoping more people will give it a chance and not get put off by the intellectual elitism of the fandom because it does have some of the most entertaining and batshit crazy episodes ever, poking fun of some of the staples of science fiction in media while also poking fun of itself the whole time. Unlike the fandom, the show doesn't take itself seriously and that's enjoyable nowadays.

7. Orange Is The New Black (2013-2019)

While this show is a comedy, it is also a lot of other things and it's probably made me ugly-cry just as many times as it's made me laugh. Well, maybe not as often, but those few scenes (if you've watched the show then you know the ones I'm talking about) made me hysterically sob hard enough to be worth like fifty minor sads. But I didn't even mind because the show is just that good, and it makes you /feel/ something in a real way. Probably because of just how real it gets in terms of telling stories that happen all the time in the real world, sometimes with inevitably tragic endings. But these things do happen every day, and it's important to shine a light on that. It's not just representation for LGBTQ+ but also for POC, the neurodiverse, the poor, and many more. Give it a watch to broaden your perspective!

8. Big Mouth (2017-?)

This is probably the grossest show I've ever seen but by god is it ever funny. Maybe it's because I have an immature sense of humor or something, but I love this show. It definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea and I don't recommend you watch this show with anyone else around because it will get awkward. I think part of its appeal to me is that everyone I talk to who likes it considers it so relatable to their lives growing up but for someone like me who grew up on the autism and asexual spectrum and who was physically an early-bloomer by years, nothing about this show is relatable to me in any way so it makes it all the more crazy and bizarre watching how the people around me must have experienced things. Did y'all really have these experiences with puberty in middle school???

9. Dexter (2006-2013)

I recently heard that this show is coming back for a reboot soon and I'm so excited because this is my absolute favorite drama/thriller show, as evidenced by the fact that it's the highest one on the list so far that isn't a comedy. I love the idea of having a protagonist who is sort of a villain (or at least morally dubious), and the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad people is particularly satisfying for some reason. Maybe because he's the vigilante we all deserve and want in this unjust and evil world of modern times? Idk but the very premise of this show set it up for big things and aside from the ending I think it delivered consistently.

10. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018)

This show took us on some journeys, and you can't deny that. Sure, maybe it didn't always finish what it started and didn't always end in the most satisfying way, but part of its charm is that you didn't care because the experience was just so much fun. They took characters and stories that have been told to death and somehow managed to put a unique and unexpected twist on them, and that alone is admirable. Good twists, good villains, and pretty much every cliffhanger known to man will keep you hooked on binge-watching every episode.

11. RuPaul's Drag Race (2009-?)

A bit different than the other entries on my list in that it's not fiction but a reality competition show, but I couldn't leave Drag Race out because it's just so fucking iconic and perfect. Even when you disagree with the judges or can't stand a certain contestant you'll still be having a good time. It's got the personalities you love to love, the ones you love to hate, and the comedy that's completely meme-able. I mean just how much has this show contributed to pop culture and the internet? More than most of us, henny. I've watched every single season, even the international ones and all of the spinoffs. This show will probably be on for another thirty years when Ru is throwing shade from a hospital bed and I'll still be watching.

12. House (2004-2012)

Some people hate on this show, and I don't get it. I love House. Yes, he's an ass. That's the point. He's supposed to be unlikeable, and that's why I like him. Maybe because I always love the rude, sarcastic, misanthropic jerkass-genius characters for some reason. And I also love procedural shows, so it's a win-win. I also work in the healthcare field so it appeals to me for that reason too, because obviously the whole premise is outlandish which is what makes it funny. Of course it's not realistic for a hospital, so just enjoy the absurdity and don't get too hung up on the details of medical accuracy and professional ethics and you'll be fine.

13. The Office (2005-2013)

The third of Michael Schur's show and the last one that made the main list (sorry Parks And Rec, I love you too but there was just so many good shows to choose from and I saw you last so the nostalgia isn't as strong!) I don't think I need to hype this show up any, it's already a classic and you can't even turn around online without getting hit in the face by a dozen Office memes. You'll have to pry this show and it's relatable characters (especially Michael Scott) from my cold, dead hands.

14. All Hail King Julien/The Penguins Of Madagascar (2008-2017)

Like Avatar/Korra, I also consider this as one show for the sake of this list because it also takes place in the same universe (Madagascar, specifically) and I just couldn't choose one over the other because they're both so perfect. They're funny and I love all the characters (it cut out the weaker links of the Madagascar film series and just focuses on expanding the standout side-characters like King Julien and the penguins). It also delved into some lore, particularly the first show, and even though I didn't also agree with the directions it took (you may have seen me get salty about the ending because I cared too much), I can't deny how much I love it.

15. Bones (2005-2017)

One of the other scarce non-comedy shows on this list, it still has it's funny moments. It's also, like House, another procedural show that involves some medical stuff, but this time on a more scientific and forensic level which is even more interesting. It's nice to see a lead female with Asperger's, too. There's a lot of cop/law enforcement shows where they try to solve crimes, but this one is the best, and I'm saying that as a fan of CSI as well. Don't fight me on this, I'm right. Oh yes, it's corny, it's campy, it's cheesy, but I love every minute of it. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach though.

16. The Simpsons (1989-?)

We all grew up with this show, don't lie. It's been around longer than most people on tumblr have even been alive. Should it have ended seasons ago? Hell yes. But that doesn't take away what the first like 20 or so seasons gave us (there's a lot of argument about when the show jumped the shark, for me it wasn't until much later than the popular consensus). The characters are amazing, but the secret to the show's longevity is that they always return to status quo and there's comfort and nostalgia in that. Bart will still be in 4th grade when you're out there pushing 90. This show is persistent. This show is eternal. This show will outlive us all.

17. Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015-2018)

Sorely underrated. This show is hilarious, gruesome and campy as hell and I love it. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the Evil Dead movies beforehand in order to get the plot of the show, although it would probably help. In my opinion this show ended way too soon and I'm hoping someday we'll get a comeback because Ash is the reluctant, self-absorbed hero we all need and it's 2020 so at this point there really might actually be a demon-zombie apocalypse and who's gonna save us then if not for the impulsive womanizer with a chainsaw for a hand?

18. Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)

Another show I grew up with, I don't think it gets as much credit as it deserves. It has some damn funny episodes and great characters, and it did a lot of the popular sitcom tropes before they were 'cool'. Some other great sitcoms, The Middle in particular, took a lot of influence from this show and it helped pave the way for the future of sitcoms at a time when they were about to make a comeback. If you want a good show about the real experiences of growing up, this is a much more accurate representation of the highs and lows of being an awkward tween from a dysfunctional home.

19. A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Unlike most people I actually liked the movie version from the early 2000's, and I read the books growing up so I was excited when I saw there was a live action television adaptation of it on Netflix because I felt like they cancelled the movie franchise too soon. I was interested to see how new actors would handle the roles, and I was not disappointed. I wouldn't say I liked either portrayal of the characters better or worse, they both added their own twist to it and this show is a great and loyal adaptation to the books, probably because the author was so heavily involved. He knew just when to stick to the books and when to improve upon what he had done with the benefit of hindsight. This show is basically the books, but remastered.

20. Winx Club (2004-?)

Sort of an odd one out on this list, but I really love this show even as an adult and it may surprise you to learn it is still going on and the most recent season came out last year. They take big breaks sometimes in between seasons, but it's still going strong and in multiple countries. The only thing I don't like about watching this show is all the different and inconsistent dubs since the original show is Italian and each dub only goes for a couple seasons so by the time you get used to one set of voices/names for the characters oyu have to abruptly switch to another, but it's still worth it for the beautiful animation and cool characters (especially the villains!)

Honorable Mentions: 

13 Reasons Why, America's Next Top Model, American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Bates Motel, Battlestar Galactica, Black Mirror, Care Bears, Chernobyl, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Criminal, CSI, Duck Dodgers, Goosebumps, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Kim Possible, Kingdom Hospital, Lazytown, Lost, Making A Murderer, Mayday, Mindhunter, Modern Family, Monster High, Obsession: Dark Desires, Parks And Recreation, Prison Break, Project Runway, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye, Salem, Schitt's Creek, SCTV, Spongebob Squarepants, The Emperor's New School, The Good Doctor, The Haunting Of Hill House/Bly Manor, The Middle, The Pretender, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Through The Wormhole, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unsolved Mysteries, Yugioh

Tagging: @bullet-farmer​ and anyone else who wants to!

reason why I really love Tom McDonald music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6FmwBPDT-w  "People So Stupid"

What a contradiction, being human is so tragic Focus on minorities, ignoring all the masses Hallelujah, everyone, activism saved the planet No more plastic straws in paper Just paper straws wrapped in plastic, congratulations

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxJtX081jj4   "WHITEBOY"

I would never hate a man for what God gave him in pigments And I would never plot against him just because he is different I would never judge a human for the cards he was given or Call them lesser than myself 'cause of the race that he's mixed with

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omMpqbuyDdc   "Straight White Male"

Fine, y'all don't gotta be my friends Y'all don't gotta like white men Y'all don't gotta hold my hand Y'all don't gotta have my back Y'all don't gotta, y'all don't gotta, y'all don't gotta, uh Y'all don't gotta see my side Y'all don't gotta be down to ride Y'all don't gotta do anything but ghost And I'mma do me even when it's the most, yeah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ita4g_oDyns  "Politically Incorrect"

Don't let 'em censor your thoughts Don't let 'em make you regret that you talked Don't let 'em tell you that nice is the law Tryna make you all right here when nothing is wrong, yeahWords hurt you, clothes hurt you Memes hurt you, jokes hurt you, we hurt you Half the time you don't even probably know what hurt you But you super mad, trust we heard you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHBMbZdCpSk  "Cancelled"

I don't care if you mad at me, okay? Go ahead and change the channel Don't waste your time tryna cancel me, okay? They love me 'cause they know that I'm an asshole Say what you want, I guess it is what it is Haters can talk but they can't cancel the kid Go 'head and go off, try and say this is it But I swear to God, you can't cancel the kid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2l6JUNFAJ9o  "Fake Woke"

Use violence to get peace and wonder why it isn't working That's like sleeping with a football team to try and be a virgin Politicians are for sale and someone always makes the purchase But you and I cannot afford it, our democracy is worthless If a man has mental illness call him crazy, say it silently When country's going crazy we accept it as society

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t86ClLM3ZGY  "NO LIVES MATTER"

Freedom's dead, if you have an opinion, take it back (facts) People hate the president, if you don't then you trash (facts) Indoctrinate the nation using news and mainstream rap (facts) The government abuses us, it's all part of the plan (facts)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2K1xQOp4qo  "White Trash"

This is for my white trash, the ones the whole world hate The ones who voted for Trump, got labeled racist but ain't The ones with ball caps, "Make America Great" Who love their country to death Who struggle on minimum wageAyy, they angry about illegal aliens Takin' work that maybe they could get Single parents with some baby kids Hated for being a patriot All my life, I've been white trash All my life, it's been like that The whole world been left leanin' I'm proud of the right who fight backBeen chewed up and spit out They scream but no one listens They're so in love and vote for Trump 'cause fuck a politician They're our neighbors They're our soldiers, our men and women and children They're middle class families who got forgot by the systemUh, in God we trust and all the guns are just backup Rockin' camouflage, don't tread on me, get smoked like tobacco Yeah, we're white trash, we rednecks, crackers since we were young We grew close, we move slow, these colors don't run

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT5DpOiQ_WA   "Fake Fans" (DISS) 

Look, I ain't changing for a buck, I ain't changing for a fan I ain't changing nothing up, this is who the fuck I am If you fuck with me, I'll hope that y'all enjoy it Beware of all the fake fans trying to destroy it, yeahI ain't switching it up, I am the man that I was Way before I blew up and everyone fell in love Never once gave a fuck, been doing me from the jump And I will never become the man that you wish I was

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeb7bVA3pjE   "Im Sorry"

Sorry, that doesn't bother me I don't owe anybody an apology I don't have no regrets in my biology Reload and shoot for the stars, y'all look like astronomy No one as hot as me, copy me commonly Wannabes, y'all are so shockingly comedy Carry the weight of my songs all on top of me I will not break, I'm not made out of potteryBury your bodies on acres of property Place them at angles like sacred geometry Down with modesty Everything I drop is quality Promise, like honestly, follow me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Ntpeih4f4&t=236s  "Buttholes"

Someone's always gonna hate you no matter what Might as well just be yourself and let people think you suck Opinions are like buttholes, everyone got one they cover up And all you gotta do is follow through When you're yelling that you don't give a fuckI ain't letting anyone piss in my Cornflakes Stay the hell out my face, and I will stay out of your way I know that life is cruel, and lately it ain't fair at all You hate your job, your phone is lost, there's evil men and racist cops Yeah, I don't care if you are black or white or gay or straight Or old or young or smart or dumb or where you're from or what you make The only thing I care about is living like I'm not afraid Of dying while I'm sleeping, so I seize it while I'm still awakeWe're so angry, hating everyone we don't know We can't even take a joke, we should really let it go And be happy, stop talking shit on our phones And blocking everyone we know, we've been being buttholes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueyNLoRWdao  "American Dreamz"

We're distracted by free porn and compilation videos of puppies and kittens While our children use the internet to bully one another and then purchase ammunition So addicted to your phone that you ignore the kids and never give them any supervision So they learn to build a bomb with things you keep inside your kitchen and you wonder how they ended up with life inside of prison We mourned a dead gorilla, but don't care when it's a person, we're forgetting that we're human We're angry that chickens are being locked up in cages and then forget we do the same to kids in our institutions When they ask you about stupid shit, you tell 'em they should Google it Then you wonder why the troubled youth are homicidal lunatics You think it's tragic when a shooter killed a student But then say it's all a plan for them to change the constitution

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQ4tAbwi31I  "Castles"

  Everybody's got a story; if you look a little closer, you can see it in the wrinkles in their face They can hide it in the silence, they can bury it and fight it, but it comes out when their hair is turning grey You can feel it if you touch 'em, you can tell that they are troubled, you can hear the story running through their veins We all travel different roads, and we put on different clothes; underneath it all, we're really all the same

Everybody has a tale that they're too afraid to tell, you can see it in the cracks in their hands They can cover it with smiles; if you walk a couple miles in their shoes, then you'll know where they stand Everyone who really lived had to climb out of a ditch they were in before they found the right path If you wanna know the truth about what we've been going through, then try to put your phone away so you can ask

We've all got problems, and we all feel alone We've all been haunted by the secrets we hold We could fill our coffins with the rocks they have thrown Or we could build our castles with the sticks and the stones We've all got problems, and we all feel alone We've all been haunted by the secrets we hold We could fill our coffins with the rocks they have thrown Or we could build our castles with the sticks and the stones

We are the neighbors that you'll never meet We are the strangers walking down your street We are a million faces in the crowd We are the ones the system's tearing down We are the people working to survive We are more than just our nine-to-fives We are the shopping malls and streetcars We are one, it's time to tell 'em just who we are

Fake Love

Bucky x Black!Reader 

warnings: Smut

Bucky still isn’t trusted by civilians and the media also paints him out to be an unforgivable villain. Luckily Tony has a solution. 

"No, I can't just ask her that. It's awkward and I'm not completely sure if I want to do this myself." I hear Bucky say as I walk into the lounge.

He, Steve and Sam were sitting in the common area couch in the middle of the room with Tony. On the television in front of them was yet another stupid tv host talking about Avenger gossip and how Bucky is apparently evil itself. Honestly it drove me crazy how they'd just drag his name through the mud like they knew him or as though he was in his right mind as the Winter Soldier.

"Why're y'all watching this shit?" I roll my eyes, walking into the connecting kitchen to fix myself a glass of minute maid lemonade.

"I was just explaining to Bucky that people really believe this bullshit and that it wouldn't hurt if we created some good PR for him." Tony explained.

While Sam and Steve looked like they completely disagreed with Tony, Bucky looked on the fence about it. But Tony did have a point. It's worked somewhat for Clint and Natasha as far as people accepting the fact that they were formerly assassins.

"I agree. I mean it's helped Clint and Nat. And since Wanda started going to school, people look at her as a normal-ish teen." I shrugged and took a seat next to Sam.

"But wait til he tells you how he wants to create good PR." Steve says crossing his arms.

"I was thinking you two could fake date. Or at least spend a lot more time together so the people can see that it's not just his childhood best friend that likes and trusts him." Tony says casually and I look at him like he’s grown a third head and laugh.

"That is the most cliché thing I've ever heard. Like sum' out of a cheesy rom com.  Why can’t Nat do it? She's the "sexiest female avenger".”

To be honest it did bother me a little that Natasha was declared the sexiest because even though I'm very confident in myself, I realize that Natasha with her flawless white skin, curves, and thickness, she fits America's fucked up beauty standards and not me with my brown skin, locs and lean frame.

"Y/n it was just Cosmo that said that and plus Nat hasn't entirely redeemed herself in the people's eyes. Then Wanda is too young, which leaves you." Tony says and I roll my eyes.

"But not only are you incredibly beautiful, but you're the most followed on social media and the 'bad girl' on the team according to Allure. Which all makes you perfect for this. You could make Bucky likable." Tony explains trying to save his ass while still finding a way to subtly insult Bucky. 

I know he was only doing this for the sake of the team and hasn’t really forgiven Bucky himself. 

"Don't pressure her Stark," Bucky rolls his eyes, "Y/N you don't have to do this."

"Whatever. I'm single, could use a few free meals." I shrug, ignoring the butterflies in my stomach. 

"I'll have to think about it some more." Bucky shrugs and I nod.

"I can't believe you guys are agreeing to this." Sam shakes his head laughing.

———————————-

I grip the sheets tighter and my back arches as my lover sends me to my climax. Once a slight moan escapes my mouth, he covers my mouth.

"You gotta be a good girl and stay quiet for me." He whispers with a devilish smirk.

I pull him up to my level by his hair and purr into ear, "But you and I both know I'm not a good girl."

This gets him even more turned on, causing him to roughly throw my leg over his shoulder go rougher.

"I do know that. Just like I know that this belongs to me and me only." He whispers, thrusting with each word.

It takes everything in me to hold in my moans, especially after he flips me over and takes me from behind, gripping my shoulder tightly. He then grabs my neck, choking me a bit as he pushes it down into the pillow. He relentlessly pounds into me, quickly bringing us almost to our climax but pulls out, laying on his back.

"Bring it on home." My lover says, pulling me onto his lap.

I ride him like a bat out of hell, determined to get us both off.

"Shit." He grips my waist while he hits his climax, me following suit.

I roll off of Bucky slightly panting and lay on my side after yet another night of our mind blowing sex. I put some distance between us, needing to cool down. Unbeknownst to the rest of our team -except maybe Steve- Bucky and I have been sleeping with each other for months. 

We decided that it’d work out perfectly considering that he doesn't feel like he's mentally ready or himself enough to be in a relationship, and I myself am afraid of commitment. The perfect match...I guess. Of course, with Bucky being the charming, sweet guy that he is, and with me truly enjoying conversation with him, I've gained feelings that I'm not even sure are reciprocated. 

I could actually imagine being committed to him, but I’m tired of his reserved nature outside the bedroom. You wouldn't really guess that Bucky was remotely interested in me other than a few sneaky glances at me and slight conversation in front of others when he has to, like this afternoon. But in bed, he's the sweetest person and we’ve shared secrets that no one on the team even knows. 

While I do have my other secret affairs with other men, there’s something about Bucky that’s just different. I know that I could commit to him in a monogamous relationship but considering that that’s not even what he wants right now, I guess there’s nothing to worry about. I guess my fear is him getting tired of me. I'm slowly getting frustrated with this little game of hot and cold, that part of me is hoping that with this 'fake' dating, he'd finally become consistent in his feelings for me.

"So Buck, what do you really think about this whole publicity stunt?" I innocently ask, running my fingers down his chest.

He takes a deep breath, while I hold mine dreading his answer.

"I don't really think it's a good idea. Someone might gain feelings." Bucky sighs, bringing his hand up to his forehead. 

Maybe I’m just being sensitive but I felt like that was him insinuating that I would be the one to gain feelings for him that wouldn’t be returned. I hold back the tears forming in my eyes at the rejection and thank the darkness for masking it.

"Buck, if it's you being afraid that I'll gain feelings, I can assure you that I won't. I mean the sex with you is great-- mind-blowing even. But I do still see other men that can do it just as well." I slightly lie. I mean I do have other lovers which is no secret to him but the sex isn’t nearly as great with any of them. 

Moving to get out of bed so I could look for my clothes, I suddenly stop as he holds onto my wrist.

"They can give you the same? Even though you tell me how your body is mine? Or how loud you moan for me and how wet you get for me?" He asks, moving closer to me and placing a hand on the small of my back.

"Yeah, in bed you're incredible. But outside of it, it's different--we're different. We don't fit and that's okay cos there’s no worry of things getting complicated." I choose my words wisely, as I look up at him pulling away from him and putting my underwear on.

"I'm pretty sure you know how well I fit in you." He looks down at me and smirks but then pauses for a second, thinking.

"You know what, let's do it. If you think you won’t gain feelings. But no more sex after tonight." He says seriously reaching out to shake on it.

"I could say the same for you Barnes." I smirk shaking his hand and letting him pull me back into bed for the last time.

———————

Today is day one of Tony's masterplan. He believed that in order to make this whole thing believable, Bucky and I can't seem like we're suddenly in a relationship.

1) Phase one be seen with each other casually hanging out and slight flirting.

2) Phase two start posting mysterious videos and photos on social media of just the two of us.

3) Only after it's speculated that we’re together, be a bit touchier in public and neither confirm nor deny it until Tony gets me an interview with a major pop culture news outlet.

It seemed simple enough. Bucky thought this whole thing was being taken way too seriously but he also didn't know about today's pop culture.

"You ready, Y/n?" Bucky asks in a bored tone from the other side of my door, breaking me from my thoughts.

He didn't seem too enthused about being seen together out in public acting cutesy. Of course it kinda stung, because this was something that I expect of my other flings. I thought of all people, Bucky wouldn’t be ashamed of me. But at least this shows me that I really couldn't have anything deeper with Bucky. I deserve a man that would proudly show me off. It's funny how that after we start the fake dating is when slowly but surely I'm getting over him.

"One sec!" I call out, slipping on my black ankle boots and then straightening my outfit.

I was getting ready for our first outing and wasn't sure what to wear because I didn't want to look like I was trying too hard. I finally decided on a black, lace bralette with a red flannel shirt tied over it and tucked into a pair of black jeans.

"Ready." I say walking out into the hallway.

Bucky was leaning against the opposite wall, looking me up and down before smirking. The man looked like a tall glass of water in his black jeans, Timberland boots, and simple white T. Once Sam and I showed Bucky and Steve how men from Brooklyn dress today, Bucky feel in love with the typical Brooklyn style. I look down, feeling my face heat up. I hate that he had this effect on me, without even having to use words...Of course he was only smirking at me and undressing me with his eyes because it was just us two in the hall. I pull myself together and put on my sunglasses, trying to hide the fact that I was drooling over the man.

"So, what did Stark plan for us today?" He asks pushing off the wall.

"He suggested that you maybe give me a tour of Coney Island, you buy me ice cream, I laugh at your jokes and we subtly flirt." I say, holding my hand out to him.

"Sounds good to me, I guess." He shrugs and holds onto my hand with his flesh one so that I could teleport the two of us to Brooklyn.

Upon arrival, we immediately let go of each other and I fake shyly look away, but really scoping out our surroundings.

"There's a teen video taping us on his phone." I say lowly to Bucky, holding onto his metal arm flirtatiously.

He nods, looking down at me and biting his lip.

I'd be lying if I told you that that small action didn't make my heart hammer in my chest. Rather than looking for the teen, he takes my word for it and moves closer to me as we walk around, looking for something to do. He begins to show me around, telling me some of the things that he and Steve used to do back in the day and the places where Steve often got beaten up.

"Is that the Cyclone? It's still here?" Bucky asks incredulously, looking at the massive roller coaster in front of him.

"Yeah, Steve told me about your Cyclone misadventure where he threw up on your shoes." I say laughing slightly.

I loved when Steve told me stories about him and Bucky, it seemed to be when he was happiest.

"I remember that! Poor punk couldn't handle all the dips," He pauses, "Have you ever ridden it?"

"Hell no! That thing is ancient!" I exclaim pointing at the ride, causing people to stare.

"C'mon, is the badass avenger scared of heights?" Bucky teases.

I wish I could take a picture of this moment. Where he's smirking down at me with his eyes full of mischief.

I sigh heavily looking into his lively blue eyes, "Okay, I'll do it."

He practically drags me to the line.

--------

"I still can't believe the Cyclone still exists." Bucky shakes his head smiling.

"I still can't believe you talked me into going on it." I say shivering at the idea that I actually went on a roller coaster from the early 1900s.

"You looked so--" Bucky begins but gets cut off by a crowd of paparazzi that just seemed to appear out of thin air.

"Y/n! Are you and the Winter Soldier dating?" One pap asks, intruding my personal space.

Bucky instinctively puts his arm around me and pulls me close.

"Y/n are you not scared to be dating a former assassin?" Another one asks, getting a little too close as well.

"Hey, Buck? Wanna jus' continue this at the compound?" I ask not so subtly, letting the paparazzi to assume we're dating.

I could tell the questions hit a nerve with him, so the second he nodded I teleported is back to the compound. He pulls away as soon as we get there, causing me to frown but I quickly recover. Slowly but surely I know I will be getting over Bucky and his wishy washy behavior.

I didn't even bother to ask if he was alright as I walk back to my room. I flopped down onto my bed wondering why in the hell did I agree to do this thinking that he'd miraculously fall for me. 

------------------------------

I realized by the second week of this fake dating that our relationship wasn't going to be the same. He was so afraid of me gaining feelings that he touched me a lot less unless we were in front of a camera, and then he started talking to me less. I constantly found myself questioning why I was still playing along with this fake dating when all it does is create heartbreak and now I have to go do my interview tomorrow morning, pretending that everything is fine and I'm head over heels for him.

Which reminds me that I have to post this obviously staged photo that Tony took of me and Bucky passed out on the couch together. If it weren't so fake, it'd be the cutest moment.

——————————

Steve Rogers was always observant. He was always the first to notice if someone did something different with their hair, if something wasn't in its usual spot or if someone was acting out of character. So it came as no surprise that Steve was able to notice that something wasn't right between you and Bucky. Of course he knew you two had been sleeping together which is why he disagreed with the whole plan, not wanting either of you to get hurt. He also knew that Bucky really and truly liked you and sometimes wouldn't even shut up about you although he'd never reveal that to you. Bucky was afraid that he wasn't good for you and was trying to push you away but Steve decided that he's not going to let his best friend ruin what might be his only shot at love with an incredible woman like you.

He marched right up to Bucky's door, pausing when he heard something being thrown against the room.

"You okay pal?" Steve asks, after knocking on the door.

In seconds, it was opened showing a disheveled looking Bucky. Bucky sighs, opening his door for Steve and letting him in.

"I'm fine, Steve." Bucky runs his hands through his hair, flopping into his bed but Steve rolls his eyes knowing obviously something was up.

"It's whatever's going on between you and Y/n isn't it? This is why I didn't want you guys doing this in the first place." Steve says after closing the door behind him.

"I only agreed to it because I wanted to sort of test out if I really could be with her. If she’d want to be with me." Bucky explains, flopping onto his bed, dejected.

"And?" Steve crosses his arms.

"I'm not good enough for her Steve. She's even said how 'we're not good for each other'. And she's right deserves someone that people aren’t afraid of. The past two weeks people have constantly asked how she isn't afraid of hurt her and—" Bucky continues but Steve cuts him off.

"Obviously it doesn't matter what they say or think. And you and I both know that the reason you two don't 'fit' is because you push her away and give her the cold shoulder. Everyone sees that Buck." Steve says taking a seat on the edge of Bucky's bed.

"So what do I do now? After this interview, she's free to dump me and move on. Which may be for the best." Bucky sighs, mentally getting angry with himself for being so emotional.

"Buck you know you won't be able to get over her just like that. The second she starts seeing other people what will you do then?" Steve asks, looking at his pitiful looking friend.

"You're right, I'll talk to her tomorrow."

------------------------------

So far the interview was going great, we'd danced, played charades, talked a bit about what it's like to be an Avenger and a Mutant and now we were onto Never Have I Ever.

"Okay never have I ever slept with another Avenger." The interviewwe smirks as the crowd cheers.

I embarrassingly look down knowing all of my relatives watch this show and turned my sign over to 'I Have'.

The crowd cheers even louder and I shake my head laughing.

"Oooh who was it? Does he or she have a name that starts with B and rhymes with Tucky?"

"Um.... more like it was Thor." I said with a completely serious look on my face and shocking the audience before cracking.

"Okay, yes it was Bucky. Sorry love." I say looking into the camera with a smirk.

"How was it?" She asks with a smirk while I hide my face in my hands.

I deserve an Oscar for my acting. You’d never tell that I was up all night crying over Bucky’s punk ass the night before. 

"I'll have to tell you sometime when I know my mom isn't watching." I laugh, shaking my head.

"But all joking aside, are you two really dating?" She asks, showing paparazzi pictures on the screen.

I was getting ready to answer when I felt a presence behind me. Before I could even answer, the presence behind me yelled 'boo' and started tickling me in places not many people knew I was ticklish. I embarrassingly spazz out and fall out of my chair with tears in my eyes to see that it was Bucky who was tickling me with his flesh hand but held a bouquet of flowers in the metal one.

"Bucky! I hate you!" I tease, hopping up and playfully punching him as he nervously laughs.

"We both know that you don't." He says quietly to where only I could hear and then gives me the flowers.  

I look at him in brief confusion as I take the flowers from him and the audience aws.

"We need to talk after the show." He mutters very low, placing his metal hand in the small of my back and kissing my cheek.

"So I guess that answers my question." Ellen says, as I sit back down.

"Yeah we'd been dating a little over a month actually."  I smile, crossing my legs.

"Well give us the details! How'd you start dating? What is it like dating the Winter Soldier?" She asks all at once.

"I'm gonna cut you off right there. I'm dating Bucky Barnes, not the Winter Soldier. When he was the Winter Soldier he was tortured, brainwashed and unable to make his own decisions and now that he's better and tryin’ to find himself again there's all these shitty people around judgin' him and not allowing him to move the hell on." I rant crossing my arms and rolling my eyes.

"I'm really sorry that he has to go through that." Ellen said after a moment of silence.

"Yeah me too. Bucky is a little rough around the edges but he can really be sweet and super loyal. Funny too." I say a bit chuckling to myself thinking about his cracks on Sam.

-----------

After the show, I walk offstage and my smile is immediately gone from my face and replaced with worry. What could Bucky possibly have to say to me?

I walk into my dressing room and there he is on the couch, running his hands through his hair.

“Buck, you okay?” I put my flowers on the dresser and lean against it to keep distance between us.

“No, it isn’t. I fucked up.” He replies, looking up at me and seeing the confusion on my face, he continues,“I was never afraid of you gaining feelings. Hell, I thought that after all this, maybe you’d finally feel the same about me. But I’ve done nothing but push you away because I was scared.”

“Bucky, I don’t know what to say. I mean I did feel the same but now I don’t know. I can’t play this game of hot and cold anymore. I’m not sure if my feelings will change but for now, I think the best solution is to just be friends.” I answer honestly, giving him a hug. 

As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)

voidpunk feels, let’s go

quote, OG voidpunk @arotaro​: “I don’t have a voidsona because I don’t have much of a sense of self”

what is voidpunk? 1 2

a history of voidpunk

alright, the rest of it is under the cut!

cw: discussion of “scary” mental disorders, self harm mention, dysphoria talk, anorexia mention, violence mention, some mentions of sex, abuse discussion

so to start out with, these are my Official Diagnoses: C-PTSD, bipolar-1, and fibromyalgia. I am not against self-diagnosis, but I tend not to self-diagnose myself, for fear of using the wrong term and it coming back to bite me in the ass. that being said, I'm pretty certain (especially in regards to my bipolar disorder) that there's something else going on here that the professionals are missing. I'll only be discussing my symptoms from here on out, not my disorders as a whole.

my main symptoms I experience that make me "not human" are:

intrusive thoughts and impulsiveness

paranoia and psychosis

body, social, and mind dysphoria

memory loss and executive dysfunction

disorganized speech and being nonverbal

hypo/hyperactivity

ambivalence and black+white thinking

I started with a very long list, and I tried to group related symptoms together. so...

I'm going to refrain from inputting sources and various denotative definitions, speaking only on my personal experiences.

1. intrusive thoughts and impulsiveness

a lot of "normal" people get random unwanted thoughts. like that little voice that says "throw your phone in the river" when walking across a bridge. these aren't necessarily intrusive. the main thing that separates these two experiences is intensity. my personal pattern of intrusive thoughts includes a lot of violence. for fear of stigma, I won't go into further detail. but often times, these intrusive thoughts develop into impulses. these are things I do without thinking them through. I don't think about consequences, I just act. my brain tells me to... let's say, scream. like blood curdling, someone's getting murdered, scream. I just do it.

my brain tells me to hurt myself. I don't know why. I do it without further questioning or examination. not even to just get my brain to shut up, necessarily. there are some persistent intrusive thoughts that never get acted on. but some of them do lead to action, even if they're the least persistent of the bunch

2. paranoia and psychosis

these aren't necessarily linked in the way intrusive thoughts and impulsiveness are, being that one can exist without the other (impulsiveness is always caused by an intrusive thought). but they very often go hand in hand, with paranoid thinking leading to psychotic symptoms. example: I am paranoid that my roommates are talking about me in the other room; I then begin to hear voices-- which may or may not belong to my roommates-- whispering unintelligibly

3. body, social, and mind dysphoria

https://imgur.com/vp1EjlA

dysphoria is something a lot of trans folk can relate to. but my dysphoria isn't exclusively tied to my gender. my dysphoria is invariably linked to my dissociation and depersonalization experience. this ties into my inability to connect with human beings.

I experience body dysphoria in that I despise basic bodily functions and necessities to keep the body alive. this includes consuming food stuffs, which ties into my experiences with disordered eating (y'all remember when I was anorexic? yeah, the thoughts haven't went away, but I'm doing better with my actions now). also can humans just... not... with the bathroom thing. like is it absolutely necessary to piss and shit all the goddamn time.

I experience social dysphoria in the way I am perceived by others. this mostly ties into my gender. no matter what I do, I am always read as a girl. but even so, I struggle to be read as masculine in that I don't necessarily *want* to be read as masculine. because men are just flat out awful. and this isn't exclusive to cis men. I don't *want* to be associated with men. because if men are bad.... and I'm a man... then I must be bad, right?

which leads us to mind dysphoria and the same line of thinking in regards to my masculinity. I am at war with myself on exactly how I would like to be perceived by others. my feelings on The Way Men Are and my feelings on my own identity as a man do not coexist peacefully

4. memory loss and executive dysfunction

memory problems are a symptom of all three of my Official Diagnoses, so it's no surprise I struggle with short and long term memory. if the event occurred even last month, I probably won't remember it. I struggle to recall basic details about people I've known for years, including age and last names. so you can imagine what it's like when I meet someone new!

as far as executive dysfunction goes? I just... don't remember. I don't remember how to do the most basic things. I've had to have loved ones walk me through the steps of preparing a bowl of cereal before. no, I'm not joking

5. disorganized speech and being nonverbal

I love language. I'm a poet. language is my thing. I got a perfect 36 on the English portion of my ACT, dammit

but as time goes on, I'm losing my command of the English language. I use the wrong word in the middle of sentences. sometimes the word isn't even related to the word I meant to use, though I can't think of any specific examples right now. sometimes it's just straight up word salads, which make sense to me, but not to those around me.

sometimes my brain's language center just... gives up. during those times, I may utter one or two word sentences. I might just make noises. I might use gestures or ASL. I might text full sentences or just a couple words at a time. or I could just become completely and utterly silent, not even attempting to communicate. I don't understand this

6. hypo/hyperactivity

note: I chose the suffix "-activity" rather than "-sexuality" because this isn't just limited to my problems in bed, though that's a large part of it.

this is something that I've only become aware of after others have pointed it out to me. there are days where I move too slow for their comfort. and it isn't always related to my pain either. I can be having a good physical day and still move like a sloth. on the other hand, there are days when I'm bouncing off the walls

I also fluctuate between hypo/hypersexual. there are days when I am sex repulsed. there are days when all I want to do is fuck

7. ambivalence and black+white thinking

I live in such a state of contradiction. I don't know how to feel about people, concepts, what have you. in order to cope with this, my brain often sorts others into 2 categories: perfect and evil.

sometimes, someone who was perfect yesterday can be put in the evil category the next day (I'm currently experiencing this with a lover of mine). I don't see gray areas. I'm incapable of processing gray. which is odd, considering I'm on the gray-ace spectrum

all of these combined tend to cause certain thoughts, feelings, and actions in other people.

"that's not normal"

"that's weird"

"you're crazy"

"you're broken"

"what's wrong with you?"

"we're putting you here for your own safety"

"this will fix you"

sure, help me out a little. give me some medication, some therapy. but... "fix" me? what about me needs to be "fixed"? why do I need to be "fixed"? namely, why won't you listen when I tell you what I need in order to cope with my brain's battle against me? I don't need crisis intervention. I don't need an institution. I just need medication for my chemical imbalances and therapy to learn how to live with my brain. when you talk about "fixing" me... it's like the only reason you care is because I'm not a "productive" member of society. it's like you want to "fix" me for your benefit. does that make sense to anyone else but me? this comes back around to the disorganized speech and communication, I'm really not sure I'm getting across my thoughts effectively here.

people hurt me... I feel like they do this because they think I'm a villain. I feel like they hurt me to protect themselves. even if I go out of my way to shield them from the way I am inside, it might not be enough to help them feel safe around me

I'm scary.

for so long, I've been in love with aliens, and cryptids, and monsters, among other inhuman creatures. I relate to them. I feel so disconnected with my humanity, that these beings bring me comfort

and now, I'm not the only one

voidpunk

bonus: actual notes from my notepad that I took in an attempt to gather my thoughts

my voidpunk: aliens, cryptids, slasher horror, cyborgs/androids, uncanny valley, Homestuck, primal, cannibal, afterlife, demons, liminal spaces, occult, FNAF, psychedelics, Undertale, dandelions, hoarding, Twilight vampires, parasites, X-Men, we're all made of star stuff, death and decay, bugs and creepy crawlies, succubus/incubus, god complex, yandere simulator, fae, transparent, Nathan W. Pyle comics, the world is quiet here, Lemony Snicket, escapism, fernweh, unconventional beauty

things that make me voidpunk: sleep paralysis, hurting others, an urge to kill, impulsive violence, using sex to get what I want, hyper/hyposexuality, xenogenders, microlabels, neopronouns, dissociation, an inability to connect and relate to other humans, lack of "common sense", "men are trash", inability to distinguish between My Reality and Real Reality, I Don't Remember Anything, psychosis, can't pick up on subtlety, unsure how to socialize properly, I'm Scary, ambivalence, inability to make concrete decisions, self medicating, Out Of Control, how do I move properly, broken executive functioning, disorganized speech, paranoia, I despise basic bodily functions like eating and bathroom, what do you mean you can't read my mind, google: how to communicate effectively, black and white thinking

So I just finished AC: Odyssey...

I have thoughts...Many, many thoughts. 

(This is mainly for me so I can remember what I loved about this game when I replay it, or when my friends buy it and I don’t forget anything, but anyone wants to discuss Odyssey is 100% welcome)

Spoilers!!

We’re I’m doing this in parts.

1. The overall

Man, I always loved Greece, I always wanted to go to Greece and I always loved  Greek history... This game only made love it more and it actually made me look up price flights to Greece  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This game is really, really cool in that aspect - it made me feel like I was there, enjoying the sun, beaches, the killing bears/sharks/fucking boars. It looks amazing, the graphics are awesome and the views are to die for. Aesthetic 10/10

The boat mechanics are practically identical to Black Flag - but hey, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. But the lesbian crew? perfect. talented. inspired. worth the 35$ I paid for the game alone.

The music is decent, but the sea shanties deserve a soundtrack of their own lbr. 

The fighting was really fun, the movements fast and the animation was distinct, really fun feel.  (full disclosure I played on easy settings, cause I enjoy feeling like my character is a badass that can just walk into any fight and you know what, that’s exactly what I got, some enemies fell down with one blow. Super fun experience. Next playthrough Imma do a higher difficulty tho.)

2. The Family Storyline

I actually finished this one pretty quick. Everyone came out alive and well and living on the Adrestia. It was good drama, and I really loved Myrrine - she was incredible lbr, the only woman who can make Kassandra do anything with a single look.

I kinda liked Nikolaos too, in a weird way - even if he’s still an asshole. Spartan’s determination to have/be the best Nation was eventually its downfall, so I think it fits Nikolaos...He is a shitty father, he’s a good Spartan.

 Stentor is kinda meh, but his little spats with Kassie/Alexios are golden.

Deimos!Alexios is such a little shit, and his VA does a good job of portraying the asshole/bad guy, even if there were 1 or 2 cringe moments.

Barnabas is the only valid father figure in the game, there I said it! Y'all can @ me.

Herodotus is the weird and yet boring uncle. I approve of him and anyone who even looks at him funny will have to deal with me. 

Phoibe... Oh, Phoibe. The only moment where I actually felt a tear slide down my eye. I was emotional in other parts, but Phoibe’s death murdered me. 

3. The Cult of Kosmos...

I just wanna say to the asshole who spoiled me who the Cult Leader was... Fuck YOU! I mean honestly, it was a really cool reveal! Luckily he only spoiled it for me when I had done everything with Aspasia and I thought I’d never see her again, LMAO.

So yes, I saw Aspasia and I immediately fell in love with her. Like the second she walked into the scene I was hers. Just like that. 

I already knew of Aspasia - the real one - and like, it never even occurred to me that she might be the Ghost... Real!Aspasia was such a badass woman that needed no man but fell in love with Perikles and I never ever would have suspected her.

That final scene I have 2 complaints:

Why isn’t there an option to talk about Phoibe? I feel like it would be important and the forefront of Kassandra’s mind when she saw Aspasia again.

Aspasia sounded a little crazy? I mean I get HER, I do. The world was a mess - and let’s face it, it still IS - and I get her motivations and ambitions but her voice, her tone was too...dreamy, crazy? The VA for her was super good throughout the game, but I wonder what that part might have sounded like played differently... I dunno, it was hard to take her seriously. But I did let her live (and I kissed her...I am only human after all.)

4. The ‘’Atlantis’’ storyline.

So um... Kassandra dies, which, OUCH.

That part where she speaks Ancient Greek as she dies practically stabbed me in the heart lbr here, cause I imagine she hasn’t really spoken it for soo long (and no one has spoken it in so long). So, she says a prayer for herself cause she knows no alive knows how to do it the proper Greek way and I just... sobs. And as if it isn’t enough she just sounds so tired, so defeated, as if seeing humanity making the same mistakes over and over again broke her a little bit.

Loved going around Greece and fighting all the myths. ISTG, it was honestly one of the most fun parts of the game. The Minotaur is my fav, the aesthetic of the labyrinth was everything and Ardos was such a cute/asshole kid. Really liked the ‘’Medusa’’ too, but more the fighting it part -  it required a little more brain than the others - but that sick looking forest was 10/10.

Pythagoras was an asshole, but I knew that in fifth grade when I had to learn his fucking theorem.

Now we wait to see what Layla does with the staff. It will probably break me and I won’t be able to look at Herme’s staff the way ever again...

5. The Romance...

Kyra was my favorite romance in the game, their scenes were romantic but with a little air of tragedy still. It was well done, really. And the characters - Thaletas and Kyra - felt as if they had a little more thought put into them than some others. 

I really liked Roxana too. They were adorable, by far the best ending for any romance that I saw. 

Odessa was the only one I didn’t romance, mainly cause she gave weird vibes... 

Yes, I felt weird vibes with Odessa - who arguably also ends up with a decent romance ending - but not with Aspasia? I’m hopeless. My love for slightly evil women will be the end of me. I’m at least 30% sure I’ll end up unknowingly married to a serial killer...

But my favorite pairing for Kassandra tho? Aspasia. No doubts, no regrets, no takebacks. Everything about them is bathed in history, drama, and attraction.

We all agree that the first time Kassandra sees Aspasia, she basically has heart eyes. Right? That scene was so gay, I felt straight in comparison... And Aspasia was practically eating her alive with her stare. 10/10 sexual tension. 

The dynamics are really interesting... They both want the same thing but feel there are different ways to get it.  Yes, I know Aspasia was in the Cult that put everything in motion but like that the beauty of it. Aspasia knows its wrong, she knows she did wrong (and she probably wasn’t in the Cult when they interfered with the Oracle to throw Alexios off the Mount Taygetos). 

Also, Kassie is Spartan and Aspasia is Athenian (technically). Two lovers -  a Spartan and an Athenian - in the Peloponnesian War? Yes, please.

So, Drama? Double Check  

The Kiss. Like, don’t get me wrong I loved it and I definitely kissed her (#noregrets), but I wish it would have a little more build up

@briannamorley Well I wasn’t going to respond to all your replies, but then I figured hell, if you felt the need to go through all my anti Celene shit to leave messages saying you disagreed, you must really value my opinion of your opinion, so who would I be not to?

briannamorley replied to your post “What ending should I take in WEWH? Last time I played I hadn't read...”

Love the page; disagree about Celine and Briala's relationship being toxic--save for her killing Bria's parents. I personally always reconcile them even if you weigh her over Gaspard, she's the lesser of two evils. Gaspard would do way more killing then a 1k elves plus, as far as the abuse we don't know the extent all Bria says is on days she was cruel, she imagined them being amongst the Dalish with Celine having to serve her.

So like... if having her parents murdered doesn’t cross a line for you into toxic territory, what does, then?

And re: “We don’t know the extent” of Celene’s treatment of Briala...

The black curls lightened to grey with the pre-dawn light, then slid to the light brown of cinnamon as the sun brought colour to the room. Dirt-brown, Celene had called it, when Briala had waited upon her as a girl. Horse-dung brown, an ugly shadow of Celene’s spun-gold locks. -pg 27

Briala, a WOC, grew up serving Celene, a white woman, comparing her hair to horse-dung. And had to just grin and bare it because that was her job, and her mother instructed her to be Celene’s friend.

“Maker, I envy you sometimes.” She knew immediately that she had said something wrong. She felt Briala stiffen, though her arms didn’t move, and Briala’s voice was light as she said, “The empress of Orlais envies an elven handmaid?” “You know what I mean, Bria.” Still holding her, Celene patted Briala’s back. “You could leave here, become someone else.” “As long as that someone is an elf,” Briala said with a dimpled smile, but Celene knew she was still hurt. “Yes, I know. But I... I was born to sit on that throne. I can’t do anything else. Since my parents and Lady Mantillon...” She trailed off. This time, Briala pulled away. “You would make a wonderful scholar,” she said as she stood and pulled her robe on, “at least until Emperor Gaspard made a decision you found objectionable. Then, I believe trouble would ensue.” She smiled over her shoulder. “You are probably right, my love.” Celene rose as well and pulled her own robe on, as if nothing were wrong. “And... I will consider Remache.” Briala nodded and slipped her mask into place, then left through the passage behind the mirror, and Celene sighed and fetched her little magical pot. She would be making her own tea this morning, it seemed. -pg 59

Celene hurts Briala, and her thought is how she’ll have to make her own tea.

Briala sat. “...The elves in Halamshiral are angry. Lord Mainserai killed a tradesman without justification, and the elves are calling for mien’harel.” At Celene’s silence, Briala added, “It is an elven word. When the humans go too far, the elves remind them that even a short blade must be respected. They—” “They will rebel,” Celene said, the words cutting through the chilly autumn air. “Against me. Now.” “It is not rebellion, Your Majesty.” Briala bowed her head and took a shaky breath, clutching at the griffon-head arm of her chair. This was exactly what she had feared. “The elves of Halamshiral have never seen you. Their grievance is with neither you nor Orlais. They only wish justice for a man of your empire who died without cause.” “What they wish is irrelevant.” Celene turned and stalked away from the window. “I am already fighting a war on two fronts. I cannot be seen to fight a war on three.” “Then don’t.” Briala rose, putting herself in Celene’s path. “Give them justice.” “A lord for the death of an elf? I... damn this thing.” With a quick jerk, Celene tore the mask from her face. Her face was flushed beneath, her eyes red from another night of little sleep. “Shall I declare the elves equal citizens before the Maker and the throne as well, while I’m at it?” “Why not?” Briala took her own mask off, stealing a quick moment to steady herself. “Unless you don’t believe that, and I’m just a jumped-up kitchen slut you haven’t tired of yet.” Celene turned away, tossing her mask onto an overstuffed couch and stalking to the great amber wall. “You know I cannot do that, Bria. I might as well engrave Gaspard’s initials on the throne.” Against the wall of gold and red, Briala’s empress and lover looked pale and wan. Celene had always seen sleep as an enemy, or at most a necessary evil, from what Briala could tell, and since the events in Kirkwall the stress of rising tensions had her awake before dawn almost every morning. If it were early enough, Briala could sometimes coax her into lovemaking, and the warm and drowsy bliss afterward would let Celene steal a few more hours of rest. Lately, even that had not been enough. Briala sighed. “I do know.” Instead of going to Celene, she went to the small table where Celene’s teapot sat, forever just shy of boiling. She poured Celene a cup of tea, brought it over, and gently touched Celene’s shoulder. It was not quite an apology. -pg 62

Briala fears having to ask Celene to enact justice. Celene says what the elves want is of no care to her. She then mocks the idea of elven freedoms. And “It was not quite an apology” my ass - Briala has nothing to apologize for.

What had happened at Halamshiral was a still-painful ache, but the elves had rebelled. Celene had done what she had to do. Had Briala been there, she might have been able to turn Celene to a different course, but Briala herself was the one who had left. It was not Celene’s fault that she had been manoeuvred into doing what she had done, any more than it was Briala’s fault for leaving Celene without the guidance she had wanted. -pg 167

Celene even has Briala convinced that she’s to blame for Halamshiral, because she wasn’t there to tell Celene otherwise. If one person in a relationship relies solely on another to guide their morals, yes, I would indeed call that toxic.

But anyway, these are just a few samples of Celene’s dismissive behaviour towards Briala. She only does the bare minimum to keep Briala at her side; she does not truly care about the elves.

briannamorley replied to your post “What ending should I take in WEWH? Last time I played I hadn't read...”

Also Bria has accepted that neither the city or Dalish elves see her as part of them; letting her rule with him as her mask--much like forcing them to work together--while interesting in theory, wouldn't last I don't think anyway. Ppl would get suspicious; Gaspard is a military strategist not an adept ruler

Briala goes from this:

Briala could not afford to spare tears for inevitable deaths. In that respect, she supposed that she was more like the nobles she served than the elves in the marketplace. The thought sometimes sickened her, but again, not as much as the thought of deaths she could have prevented. -pg 61

to this:

She had been in Celene’s court for too long. Too many years being called “rabbit,” too many years ducking her head and working from the shadows. Too many years of being proud of who she was, a feeling she could cling to like a floating log in a rushing river. It had kept her head above water, but it had never let her steer her own course. She would fight for her people, because nobody else would, and Fen’Harel take whoever got in her way. -pg 144

Briala’s whole character arc is about discovering who she is as her own person, and reconnecting with her people. Unless “has” was a typo for “had.”

Also, why is it unrealistic for Dalish and city elves to work together? Dalish elves go to the city, and city elves go to the Dalish all the time. In some cases you have clans that have very strong relationships with nearby alienages, such as Clan Boranehn and the Edgehall alienage in Knight Errant, for example.

briannamorley replied to your post “grandenchanterfiona: I don’t hate Celene because she’s a woman. I...”

Disagree not about the genocide or lying to Bria but everything else

...K?

briannamorley replied to your post “grandenchanterfiona: That’s it. Until proven otherwise the Masked...”

Nope to each their own though

...K?

briannamorley replied to your post “grandenchanterfiona: Celene is a straight guy’s idea of a lesbian....”

Stop... I can see if you were equating this to RR Martin but really???

Yes really lol

briannamorley replied to your post “I just read The Masked Empire and even though I knew how bad Celene...”

Theres disliking something and then there's bashing it to the point it becomes infuriating

Sorry guess we never received the guidelines one has to follow in terms of disliking something. Tell me, does it include going through a blog’s tags and leaving reply after reply that says basically the same thing?

briannamorley replied to your post “mllemaenad: jocelyntorrent: mllemaenad: … Okay, I don’t get it. ...”

Disagree but crazy tired so to each their own

Good thing you left another just plain ‘disagree,’ otherwise I might have gotten confused.

briannamorley replied to your post “So this by no means excuses Celene's actions whatsoever, but I noticed...”

Love orlais but again, to each their own

Cool cool I hate Orlais but to each their own. Perhaps I should find some random Orlais fan and spam their email notifications with replies saying as such, to make sure they know!

briannamorley replied to your post “lmao no, about 300 elves were brutally slaughtered, sweet summer...”

More than 300 but it does border on bashing

WTF does this one even mean?

briannamorley replied to your post “grandenchanterfiona: Celene has absolute power; she does not have a...”

If so say that from jump don't go on and on going from legitimate gripe to bashing... like damn I like both of y'alls pages but FUCK me this is exhausting

Then why are you reading through all this? And seriously, what is with this “bashing?” Is there some kind of internet slang I’m unfamiliar with? Because if you just mean bashing as in criticism that hell fucking yes I am critical of Celene. She has a lot of reasons for me to be.

briannamorley replied to your post “Remember that time when Michel de Chevin partook in the Academie des...”

Sigh... y es it was an oversight by them that shouldn't have happened but goddamn

“But goddamn...” what? Why is there a but? Why is there a but goddamn? Just... why, period?

Anyway, TL;DR:

I hear two Atlanta Police Officers with missing vehicles called the Mayor and apologized to her for thinking of only themselves, admitted they were afraid that if they were in the same situation they would been fired as the other two in the Rayshard Brooks case and they couldn't allow that to happen to,themselves and the community so they wanted to show what would happen if it did because like me they all saw it as a justified homocide, a honorable weapon's discharge.

But after reading what i wrote last night. They fully regrret their decision and would like to have a meeting with her today, the entire 25 that stayed home for 3 days and they will all drive up to see her, in their personal cars of course.

Of course they got her mussing her mascara and all. Weeping she is. Don't mean she's weak. Just means she knows love. And she knows how evil attacks it and makes love so painful.

... ...

I mean I'm real surprised at Atlanta. I never had any problems with them they was always "The Next New Orleans" i called them.

Always just witchy with it. Good and a skip ahead.

So besides my anger at the situation created...

Look. I come straight outta the 90s.

Back then... Man. Our history been lost in 30 years. Our soul soul soul filled history. Its gone. It ain't there.

Back in the 90s we had about a 15 year break. From the protests from Vietnam War. Love not War Protests. We had them nice little 1950s with "Hello Technology: introduction to the TV" ONWARD to the "60s Hippies. Make love not War" taking it right onto the 70s which came back with the Civil Rights

So our 90s. Y'all they were the most beautiful. They were the combo of the 60s and 70s.

The riots and protests being taught to me and we made it big as we could with all the best parts of being a Human Rights Activist with brand new only 1990s fluorescent neon dripped could bring in.

That was all lost. Its all gone.

But the fight. The rights. THE TRUTH we went all 1950s and stayed in and raised our kids right. People wanna say shit about the Millennials. But we spoke truth. We spoke from our heart and we let them find,the truth as safe as possible and form their own opinions based on truth alone.

So now people wanna beat our kids. People i went to high school with they got high school graduates. Mine will be 17 this August. Real honest to God birthday and age.

Those are my babies. Our babies. They are our future. In 50 years they're gonna be like old man Bernie Sanders. 70 years old bent over fighting because we're gonna be near dead at 90 and more.

And people neglect and beat and ...

Man Our kids got it bad enough already. Simply because THEY KNOW THE TRUTH.

And man we got to protect them. Protect their hearts. Their minds. Their souls.

And they getting allllllll this stress. Put on them. Stress that is simply avoided.

By one dancing in the streets.

By 15 officers stating their badge numbers.

By the police owning up to who they are and why they exist.

Don't they want peace? Used to be they were called Peace Keeping Officers.

Now they called Lice Officers. Coming in on Native American Reservations claiming unwashed hair bread bugs. Let me tell you something. My daughter and I got lice a while back.. Like 8 years. The only thing that killed them was coating our hair in oil

Lice breath through holes in their exobody. So the oil makes them suffocate to death and die. Furthermore people whom smoke reject lice more frequently than those that don't. It takes me 3 months longer to get lice than a non smoker.

Peace pipe anyone?

.

So historically police aren't loved. They aren't wanted.

Being a police or military. It becomes a color of our skin. I'll post a tattoo that isn't finished being colored or lined. It's not done. I'll show you we can balance it.

Get out of your comfort zone. Step out of your skin.

We can't stop being black. We can't stop being what drives us to be police.

But we can control it.

"BURN ALL THEIR FUCKING CARS" demanded the international head of the CIA.

"No ma'am. This is what we did" they didn't tell me No before. They just did it. Because they knew it was better. They knew it would cause all 25 of y'all to have to stand up and say "my car is missing. This is how i feel. I do/don't want it back"

Where yall can't pretend what y'all did didn't matter and just get up and go to work the next day. All sneak in and get back to business.

No. You got a fucking problem. You forcing others to take on your load, Zone 5.

Were not walking away and being all its fine what ever. You got a problem. We need to tackle it in a for real state.

Foooorrrrr Reeeaaaalllll state.

You got a problem in your mind? Those become tangible. They aren't floating thoughts. They are what makes us do what we do.

Make it concrete. Take away their cars.

I ain't saying the charges will be dropped. That's all a whole other issue. I don't work in the justice system. Court. Law. I tell you how to win in court. But i ain't about telling some DA how to shove it. I just sue them. When its courts. I fight their game. With paperwork and all that shit. So like i said that's not on me to say the charges will be dropped.

When it's a basketball game you use a ball and circle to drop the ball in.

Use proper tools

Atlanta PD could and should said "alright let's picket the DA. Lets go in uniform. Leave our weapons in the car. Unbutton our shirts. Put red paint on our foreheads to show where they're hurting us. Show them the DA now made us defense less and stripped"

Half hour. 10 minutes. 2 hours. Don't matter. As long as you make that statement.

NYPD did that.

Sure i can ask Tree, tree why ain't you posted that? Taught them?

But why didn't NYPD pull out thier hands and say NBC, FOX. Where's them videos of what we use to do and so we can stop and make this shit right in the streets?

Thata all i did. That's all im doing now. Yeah I'm,the most brilliant and all

But the last since November i been telling y'all "shake them tail feathers"

How is Gary Trump's brother going into human trafficking for 24 years to be found by me. Then murdered by his brother that took his name and lied about who he was? And his brother didn't care. He said "ill go by Gary. It don't matter. Hes worked hard under my name"

How is the ACTUAL Donald Trump not allowed to be in a Black Lives Matter movement? How come no one is shaking their tail feathers to a man killed by the government for greed and white power?

The faux Donald Trump that is our impeached President is a racist.

So why isn't his brother being named? Black Lives Matter.

One person says "Let's Shake Our Tail Feathers".

Dont matter if you believe me. Its the movement. Quite literally.

Its confusing and alive and can make us all sick. It is its own plague. "Shake ya tail feathers" it's a mental plague if you refuse truth.

Regardless how i named it. I still taught it and spoke it. And led y'all to dance it.

Bye bye stress. Bye bye human trafficking.

Bye bye inequality.

Instead it's crazy

It was already planned to be crazy. Burning down buildings calling them Liberty Torches.

Civil Rights . Civil Liberties . take No Justice/Fairness and make it a sight to behold.

Is it fair to me financially to burn down my own economicially profiting legally businesses to make a Park and Garden where you can get fresh and,free vegetables and fruit for life? HELL FUCKING NO.

I got to pay security and taxes and i don't get a single domestic dime in return.

Kids go play on my slides and swings and wear them out having too much dam fun. Then i gotta spend More Money to make sure i am making sure they even get a single second to know what fun is.

I spent my whole life working. Every dam day.

One day I went out and I was 18 years old and i heard laughter. And i didn't know what it was. What made people laugh? How could people even be happy? Or want to laugh?

I was 18 years old. Didn't under stand a human thing.

And it just kept going and going and going. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to do whatever it took. And I didn't know why. Because i got my car keys out and opened my car door the second time that day. This time to make it stop. I put my car key between my fingers. Next thing i knew, I was sitting back down. And starting the car. Obviously my mom knew I was crazy with worry. And lost my mind. Shoved my ass back in the car and said "no you're just gonna leave and leave those innocent people alone"

I was so angry and bitter. And now my life is even worse.

If I couldn't attack them people. No one else can attack innocent people in public.

I don't care how fucked up you are. YOU CAN'T ATTACK SOMEONE FOR THEIR FREEDOMS.

Laughter. Black Lives Matter. Blue lives MATTER. All lives MATTER.

Some ignorant fool was arguing with a store clerk saying how her Black Lives Matter sign offended him

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Why can't y'all see and accept that?

We can't we be one. One truth.

One life to live

I can't live as Cleopatra or anyone of my past lives. I can't even live the life I led in the 90s. I can't even walk

We have one life to live and this is it.

So do we kill each other? Or do we protect each other?

Why aren't we being One?

When you're alone you can think of only you. You realize how important you are. We all need alone time.

When im with you i can only think about how important you are.

There isn't enough room in my brain to say how important we both are at the same time unless we do and think and act the same way all day long. Even for twins and clones its impossible.

So in my brain and in yours. You can only think about how much ONE life matters at a time.

ONLY ONE LIFE IN THIS WORLD MATTERS. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!

We. Our. Us. You can't stop a great combination.

Power and love = unified. Unity. United.

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Stop the pain. Hold our hands. Let the love flow. Let the Heart speak until it sings.

So yesterday old Blackfeet and Regina didn't see each other for the DUMBEST thing. She said "oh baby ill move in the nursing home with you"

He says something all "nonsense that's dumb shut up" all Grumpy Bear.

I don't even want to be with you.

So i talked to Michael about their unique situation.

He could had said "I'm well enough to move into a regular home with you. We don't need the nursing home. I moved to (US state) to be with you. To be close to you because you mean more to Me than Anything in the world. And you deserve a big ole castle. Because i love you and we gotta do all this best and right. No nursing home. We got another 50 years plus i wanna be doing you on the kitchen table and not here. All I can smell is stinky old man diapers from the neighbor"

And she could said had he continued the fight "oh idk what I'm saying I've never even seen the nursing home. Do you mind i come visit you there? Id really like that"

It would taken ONE. Only one to stop their ninny war.

And they would been holding each other. With love.

Instead of living in Hell.

So, now what happened was we put it all on old dad. Because hes the Black Beethoven who can suddenly sing a ballad of symphony in the midst of telling some real bad history truth.

Then moments later Regina said "well i could said something different, too".

It takes two to tango.

So I challenge y'all to punch inequality in the face. BLM. there is no difference between.

Black. Blue. Red. Purple. Yellow. Green. All bruises.

Challenge each other. Black and blue.

Force it. There is no difference and it must be seen.

Chant it. Turn on the "Boombox" and dance together. Dance if some won't. But do it in their face.

Laugh. Be happy. In their face.

If they're bitter like an 18 year old me and don't have a Angel Mommy to bust their ass back down into a sitting position. Someone will beat the shit out of them. Someone will stop them and i Will go after them and send you services for legal and medical. Free.

Acknowledge.

You are hurt. I am hurt.

Lets Live. Lets be happy.

Lets try. Trying makes perfect.

"MOVE BACK"

"TAKE THAT FIRST STEP"

"MOVE BACK"

"SEE WE ARE HURT SAME AS YOU" point out the ones that have fear. The ones that try to intimidate. -- The I Can See You -- let them scream in your face youre nothing but a piece of shit. And yell back they're someone inside a police uniform. And you can see it.

Beat their asses like fucking Care Bears.

Teach you a little photography. 1. Dirty lens. Dry skin. 2. Lotions the skin. Hannibal lectur. 3. Cleans the lens. 4 & 5 close up with flash. 6&7 close up without flash.

After meeting some kids in college. Native Americans from tribes near Gallup. Very very. Very Racist.

I began to question my life long believe of how I could live with being a military based person. And being an Native American.

I didn't know. I just knew i could and it wasn't fair to me to destroy the very being of me. Simply because it don't make sense without actual factual historical documents.

Remember Oregon Trail was First. That made Atlas.

Then down the coast to find gold. So NM DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT NO FUCKING TRAIL OF TEARS SO GET OUT MY FACE.

And so my owl... Its every thing. I didn't design it normal. It has wings that are out stretched yes.

But it has a secomd pair of wings. Which are pins from the United States Coast Guard. Those wings are like hands. To do things close by to the body.

Its slightly designed after a Hindu God. She has 6 arms.

Here the wings are keeping the body warm and safe and sound.

How could myself own an owl to represent my secret past of S.Leigh if it can't have hands to represent both my heart and mind?

There figlirliee on the head. That's not for me. Its because I think about you. The mass population of Earth.

I need more simply than what the Earth can provide in the reality of which exists on Earth.

There's an hour glass of water on it's side, traveling... My baby bird is flying with an hour glass.

If you look. You'll see a woman under and between the two shields. And she has "duck lips"

For the real "Not Gary Donald Trump"

Her lips are actually a heart. But they look off..

A rose each sits above the shields. A diamond in the midst of the tail feathers.

No piece

No area.

Is just a feather. A stroke of color.

Each is an item. There's no nothing. It is all something

The military did not just beat us and we took it as Muscogee Creek Nation. We built an Atlas. Recivejed the City of Atlantis -- the Spain sent supplies to help us for years. All the way from Florida.

There was Something. It all wasn't nothing

Or for nothing. Everyone looks for the truth. Looks for the Lost City of Atlantis and i am the one who sunk it. Because I am the Goddess.

The diamond has a purple eye. Diamonds are the hardest and toughest known substance.

Well i know my mind is gonna cut you and rip you apart from what I've seen. So my eyes are like diamonds. My mind

Our tounges are diamonds. We can slash each other apart.

Or we can acknowledge the riches we have.

My Ultimate Challenge is for the police to create a barricade when necessary. No weapons in hand. Hands on the top of their heads and chant BLM Bruises are the same.

We know black bruises hurt the worst, the same level as red.

Then purple. Then blue. Green and yellow rarely do.

So please fight blindness and inequality with me.

And please post it on the national news and international news. So that we know as a world we all fight together

Whether it's in the couches or in the streets.

Thank you for trying.

Get To Know Me!!! A Little Too Well

1. Name: Nicole 2. Nickname(s): Nik, Nikki 3. Birthday: June 21 4. That makes you: 18 5. Where were you born: Nebraska 6. Location right now: Same place 7. Shoe size: 7 8. How many piercings?: None 9. Tattoos?: None, but I'd love a few <3 10. When you wake up you're: Confused and even more tired 11. When your about to sleep you're: Wide awake 12. Zodiac sign: Cancerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr/Gemini 13. Chinese sign: Rabbit 14. Righty or Lefty: Righty 15. Innie or Outie: Innie 16. School: Out of school :P Section Two: Looks 17. Nationality: White 20. Weight: 110 lbs 21. Height: 5'6 22. Braces? No 23. Glasses? Yes Section Three: Private Life 24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend? I do! 25. If so, who? The love of my life, Nate 26. If not, do you have a crush on someone? My boyfriend 27. Who has a crush on you? No one haha 28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf? Nope 29. Who was your first kiss: Nate, he kisses pretty good 30. Who was your last kiss: Nate <3 31. Are you a virgin? Yes 32. Ever had a threesome before? No 33. NQ- Ever been swarmed by ladybugs?: Nope 34. Have you ever been in love? Yes 35. Broken any hearts? Not that I know of 36. Got your heart broken? Quite a few times 37. Ever liked a friend? Yea 38. What happened? We started dating

Section Four: Past Relationships 39. How many relationships have you been in? 1 40. How many were serious enough to count: I'm in it 41. Who were those serious ones: I've only been in 1 42. NQ- Who USED to be your best friend: Well, he's still my best friend so 43. What made them different: Nothing 44. What happened: We started dating 45. Best boy/girlfriend: The one I'm dating 46. Worst boy/girlfriend: N/A 47. Ever been kissed: Yes 48. Who do you want back: No one 49. What do you regret: Focusing too much on guys 50. Why? Because I would've done so much better in school Section Five: Favourites 51. Song: Sound of Silence 52. Movie: Zootopia 53. Food: Anything really 54. Drink: Apple Juice 55. Store: Gamestop and Hot Topic 56. Television show: Stranger Things and Mom 57. Holiday: Christmas 58. Book: Grace Lost Series 59. Ice cream: Mint Chip 60. Sweets: Chocolate 61. Crisps: Doritos Jacked 62. Type of music: Pretty much every genre 63. Artist: Singer is Luke Bryan, Painter is Bob Ross 64. Word: Loquacious, vernacular 65. Time of day: Evening/night 66. Dressing: Ranch 67. Alcoholic drink: Don't drink 68. Colour(s): Blue, Red, Black, and White 69. Piece of clothing: Beanie 70. Character: My fursona 71. Smell: Fresh rainfall 72. Shampoo: Fructis 73. Soap: Fructis 74. Smiley: >3 75. Board game: Too many tbh 76. Sport: Soccer 77. Number: 5 78. Quote: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Franklin D. Roosvelt 79. Animal: Wolf 80. Actor: Ryan Reynolds/Chris Pratt 82. Vegetable: Sugar snap peas 83. Fruit: Grapes 84. Place to be: In my room 85. Thing in your room: Pictures 86. Gum: 5-gum 87. Shape: Circle 88. Country: Europe 89. Mall: Any mall 90. Car: 67 Chevy Impala 91. Boy's name: Christopher 92. Girl's name: Chrissy 93. Family member: My brothers and my dad 94. Restaurant: Johnny Carinos 95. Movie place: The theater 96. Person to go to the movies with: Myself 97. Noise: Falling rain 98. Brand of Shoe: Airwalks 99. Brand of clothing: Aeropostle 100. Body part of a chicken: Thigh 101. Swear word: Asshat 102. Month: December 103. Possession: My ring 104. Team: Don't have a favorite 105. Season: Winter 106. Radio station: Pop station 107. Magazine: Don't read them 108. Favourite grade: Senior year 109. Least favourite grade: 5th grade 110. Teacher: Kindergarten 111. Least favourite teacher: Math teacher in 5th grade, he was a douche 112. Subject: Art/Choir 113. Subject to talk about: Anything and everything Section Six: Family 114. Who's your mum?: Not here 115. Who's your dad?: My role model 116. Any step-parents?: Yea, had a few 117. Any brothers?: 2 118. Any Sisters?: Nope 120. Coolest: Older brother 121. Loudest: Me 122. Best relative: My cousin 123. Worse relative: No one 124. Do you get along with your parents? My dad, yea 125. With your siblings? Mostly, we game with each other 126. Does anyone understand you? Yea 127. Do you have any pets? Nah 128. If so, what kind and name? 129. If not, what do you want as a pet? I want another dog, we had to get rid of ours Section Seven: School 131. Are you still in school? Nope 132. Did you drop out?: 2.75, I didn't pay attention freshman and sophomore year 133. Your current GPA: No thanks 134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: School bill paid for it 135. ABC's?: Know them 136. Favorite class: Choir and art 137. Play any sports at school?: Played soccer 138. Are you popular? With the outcasts 139. Favourite memory: Being the only girl good at soccer 140. Most humiliating moment: Falling in front of my close guy friends 141. Most funniest moment: Hitting someone in the face with a soccer ball 142. Most scared moment: Graduating Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear 145. Chicken: Bawk bawk 146. Dog: Soft puppy 147. Christina Aguilera: Music 148. Ricky Martin: Who? 149. 50 cent: Rapper 150. Poop: Emoji 151. Beach: Sand 152. Dessert: Cactus 153. Water: Blue 154. Osama: Bin Laden 155. Love: Life 156. Your little brother: Xbox One 157. Butt: Nice 158. Clowns: Pennywise 159. Wonder: Over Yander 16o. Brown: Pants 161. Banana: Yum 162. Sex: Rope 163. Parents: One 164. Homosexuals: Jensen and Jared 165. God: Father Section Nine: Do you believe in 166. God: Yes 167. Heaven: Yes 168. Devil: Yes 169. Hell: In a sense 170: Boogey man: No 171. Closet Monsters: Nah 172. Fortune telling: Nope 173. Magic: Nuh uh 174. Love at first sight: Depends 175. Ghosts: Nope 176. Voo-doo dolls: Nah 177. Reincarnation: Nope 178. Yourself: Ehh, not really Section Ten: Do you 179. Smoke: And kill my lungs? No thanks 180. Do drugs: Pfft, why would I? 181. Drink alcohol: Again, I'm not trying to die at a young age 182. Cuss: Yea 183. Sing in the shower: Sometimes... 184. Like school: Yea, it was the best place to be! 185. Want to get married: Mhmm, and I'm glad I found someone 186. Type with all of your fingers: Not really 187. Think you're attractive: Most days 188. Drink and drive: Fuck this 189. Snore: Sometimes 190. Sleep walk: Nope 191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: Best place to be honestly Section Eleven: Have you ever 192. Flashed someone: On accident 193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: I don't drink 194. Told that person how you felt: Yep 195. Been arrested: Nope 196. Gone to jail or juve: No 197. Skateboarded: Yes 198. Skinny dipped: In a bath 199. Rock climbed: Do it every summer 200. Killed someone: Nope 201. Watched porn: Nah 202. Gone on a road trip: Kinda 203. Went out of the country: Nah 204. Talked back to an adult: Yes 205. Broken a law: Nope 206. Got pulled over: Don't drive 208: Cried to get out of trouble: I don't usually do anything bad 209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: I'm supposed to, I'm there to listen 210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: No 211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: No 212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: Nah, I usually eat it 213. Mooned someone: Yes, once 214. Shop-lifted: No 215. Worked at McDonald's: No thank you 216. Eaten a dog: A hot dog! 217. Give money to a homeless person: Yea, I've fed them too 218. Glued your hand to yourself: Yes 219. Kissed someone of the same sex: Playing Pocky 220. Had a one night stand: I have two right beside my bed 221. Smoked: Nope 222. Done drugs: No 223. Lose a friend because of your ex: I don't have any exes 224. Slap someone for being stupid: Yes 225. Had cyber sex: Sexted?? Kinda 226. Wish you were the opposite sex: A lot more often than I should sometimes. But for completely different reasons 227. Caught someone doing something: Yea 228. Played a game that removes clothing: Strip truth or dare ;) 229. Cried during a movie: All the damn time 230. Cried over someone: It's hard not to when you can't have an actor love you 231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: Yea, and I did 232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: Nah 233. Ran away from home: Nope 234. Cheated on a test: Once Section Twelve: Would you 235. Bungee jump: Nope 236. Sky dive: Hate heights 237. Swim with dolphins: Yes 238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: That goes against girl code 239. Try to be the opposite sex: No 240. Lie to the police: Hi officer my real name is Nicholas... Cage 241. Run from the police: No 242. Lie to your parents: Done it before 243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: That's just plain rude 244. Be an exotic dancer: Only for my boyfriend <3 245. NQ- Kill the president: Nah Section Thirteen: Are you 246. Shy: Yes, especially around new people 247. Loud: Extremely 248. Nice: I try to be 249: Outgoing: I fake being outgoing haha 250: Quiet: Yea 251. Mean: Depends, I'm mean to those I like 252. Emotional: Sad to say, but yea 253. Sensitive: Mhmm 254. Gay: I'm very happy 255. Strong: I wish, need to start working out 256. Weak: Yea 257. Caring: Yes, especially towards animals 258. Dangerous: Well, does this include caving? 259. Crazy: Uh huh 260. Spontaneous: I am the most random and spontaneous thing out there 261. Funny: I try to be, I fail at it 262. Sweet: To eat ;) 263. Sharing: With most things, but not my food 264. Responsible: Most of the time 265. Trustworthy: Definitely, if you want a secret kept come talk to me 266. Open-minded: Depends on what you mean 267. Creative: For the most part 268. Cute: Um, not even close, no matter how many of y'all say I am 269. Slick: They don't call me Nik the Slick for nothing 270. Smart: Yea 271. Dumb: I act like it 272. Evil: No 273. Ghetto: If only 274. Classy: As in sassy 275. Photogenic: Nope 276. Dependable: Only on a few select things 277. Greedy: Only with food 278. Ugly: Yes, 100 times over 279. Messy: With my life 280. Neat: With everything else 281. Perverted: You can say cookie and it'll go bad 282. Silly: Yea 283. A B****: I can be if you want me to be 284. A Good Listener: Mhmm 285. A Fighter: If you make me mad enough 286. A Party Animal: I'd rather read, thanks 287. A Game Freak: YES 288. A Computer Freak: I literally want to work on computers Section Fourteen: Future 289. Dream job: Animation 290. Dream house: Somewhere out in the country 291. Husband/Wife: My sweet redheaded boyfriend 292. Kids: 2 293. Names: Something with Ns 294. Pets: Literally so many 295. Car: Anything that gets me places 296. Age you would want to get married: I wouldn't mind getting married in the next few years 297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: My best friend Elena 298. Honeymoon: Anyplace that has a bedroom Section Fifteen: Your friends 299. Best friend: Elena, Nate, Jasmine, Kelsey 300. Known the longest: Nate 301. Craziest: Elena 302. Loudest: Elena and I 303. Shyest: Jasmine and Kelsey 304. Best hair: Kelsey 305. Best eyes: Kelsey 306. Best body: Nate 307. Most Athletic: Me 308. Hot-Tempered: Elena 309. Most impatient: Me 310. Shortest: Nate 311. Tallest: Kelsey 312. Skinniest: Me 313. Best singer: Me 314. Funniest: Literally all of us 315. Can always make you laugh: All of them 316. Wish you talked to more: Elena 317. Wish you saw more: All of them 318. Who drives you insane after a while: Elena, but in a good way 319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: All of them 320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': Nah, I'm dating Nate 321. Whose always been there when you need them: All of them 322. Who is like your family: All of them 323. How many friends do you have?: Quite a few, and I love each and every one of them 324. How many are really close? About 10? Section Sixteen: The last 325. Thing you ate: Poptarts 326. Thing you drank: Apple juice 327. Thing you wore: My hoodie 328. Thing you did: This meme 329. Place you went: The store 330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: Nothing 331. Person you saw: My dad 332. Person you hugged: My dad 333. Person you kissed: Nate 334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: I wish I had done that to a couple jerks 335. Person you talked to online: Nate 336. Person you talked to on the phone: Nate 337. Song you heard: Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade 338. Show you saw: Mom 339. Time you fought with your parents: Um... about a month or two? 340. Time you fought with a friend: Haven't for a while 341. Words you said: Fuck you is what I said Section Seventeen: Now 343. What are you eating: Poptart 344. What are you drinking: Apple juice 345. What are you thinking: About my boyfriend 346. What are you wearing: My hoodie 347. What are you doing: Writing this up 349. Hair: Down 350. Mood: Tired 351. Listening to: Spotify 352. Talking to anyone: Yea 353. Watching anything: Nah Section Eighteen: Yes or No 354. Are you a vegetarian: Mostly 355. Are you a carnivore: Nah 356. Are you heterosexual: Yes 357. Do you like penguins: Yes 358. Do you write poetry: Yes 359. Do you see stupid people: Yes 360. You + Me: No 361. Do you like the Osbournes: Yes 362. Can you see flying pigs: No 363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: Yes 364. Are you from Afghanistan: No 365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: No 366. Are you a zombie: No 367. Am i annoying you: Yes 368. Do you bite your nails: Yes 369. Can you cross your eyes: Yes 370. Do you make your bed in the morning: No 371. Have you touched someone's private part: Yes Section Nineteen: This or That 372. Winter or Summer: Winte 373. Spring or Autumn: Autumn 374. Shakira or Britney: Britney 375. MTV or VH1: MTV 376. Black or White: White 377. Yellow or Pink: Pink 378. Football or Basketball: Football 379. Mobile Phone or Pager: Mobile 380. Pen or Pencil: Pencil 381. Cold or Hot: Hot 382. Tattoos or Piercings: Tattoos 383. Inside or Outside: Inside 384. Weed or Alcohol: No 385. Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi 386. Tape or Glue: Tape 387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: In-Out Section Twenty: Opinions 388. What do you think about classical music: I like it 389. About boy bands: Nah 390: About suicide: Talk to someone if you're thinking about suicide. It is a very real thing and should not be joked about. I don't want to find out that any of you are no longer here because of suicide. I've lost 2 very close friends that way. 391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: They can kindly fuck off 392. About teen pregnancy: Only if they know they'll be able to take care of the baby 393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: With my husband in some country town 394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: Nate, Elena, Kelsey, Jasmine, hopefully all my friends 395. About gay men: They're human too Section Twenty-One: 396. Do you have a website: I'm working on building one 397. Current weather right now: Cold as balls 398. Current time: 7:00 399. Last thoughts: Byyyye

Back at it again with the long post and theories...

Oh hey Rosewood residents,

Kate here <3 And I'm back at it again with the long post and theories! First things first, I was out of commission for 2 weeks with the worst flu and ear infection of my life.. coincidentally the same week PLL was NOT on. I BLAME YOU FOR THIS, MARLENE!! I also ended my Memorial Day weekend with a trip to the ER, so it’s been less than fun over here...

But while I've been too sick and weak to type, I’m never too sick to think so grab a little snack (and a PLL-mom approved glass of wine) and buckle in to hear my crazy take on this ride that is Pretty Little Liars EndgAme! I'm going to break my thoughts down into sections so y'all can easily skip around if you would like!

First things first (I'm the realest)... (I am also old and found that funny - don't judge me!) Let's travel back to what feels like forever ago... and the reveal that Ali is, indeed, carrying Emily's baby. I wanted to make the following point but then was bedridden, so the original thought comes before we viewed 7x15... *WHO'S YOUR DADDY -- THE ALI/EMILY BABY REVEAL*

Yup. They went there. We finally have confirmation (btw, BRILLIANT acting by Sasha in the reveal scene at the baby store!) that Ali is carrying Emily's stolen-egg baby. I saw a lot of reaction to this in the fandom, a lot of "I knew this would happen" (the best one being my amazing brother's live blog response!) and a lot of "I was afraid they would do this".. I saw a lot of comments bashing the storyline and a lot praising it for reiterating just how well-and-truly-evil AD actually is. But I didn't see ANY reaction that mirrored my own... IN A SHOW WHERE SO LITTLE IS ABLE TO BE FIGURED OUT (by a fandom who spends hours and hours rewatching, blogging, theorizing, screen-capturing), WHY DID THEY MAKE THIS SO OBVIOUS?! Yes, I realize I could be giving the showrunners too much credit here, but as an adult in her mid-thirties who has spent an abnormal amount of time trying to figure out answers and outcomes for this show and constantly figuring out NOTHING, WHY WAS THIS SO EASY TO DEDUCE. Well, to answer that I'm going to reference a movie many of you are probably to young to have seen... Years ago, a brilliant suspense/mystery movie called The Others came out (it starred Nicole Kidman - remember her!?) Anyway, the movie was awesome and mysterious and about halfway through anyone who is paying attention starts to put together the clues and its SO exciting but then you almost get annoyed that the characters in the movie aren't putting 2 and 2 together, but you're all proud of yourself for figuring it out, and BAM! Seriously out of left field the twist comes and you realize you were COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY WRONG and just lead to believe you'd figured it out... [side note: I watched this movie multiple times after my first viewing with friends who were seeing it for the first time and let me tell you, at the same point that I originally "figured out the mystery" they did too and were SO DAMN SMUG about it, one going as far to say "You know, I actually find it sooo hard to enjoy movies like this because I'm too smart and always figure it out and get bored waiting for the ending"... yeah, she shut up really fucking quick when she saw she was wrong). ANYWAYS (sorry, I ramble)... I'm kind of wondering if this whole Ali/Emily baby thing was made obvious to throw us off in a way. So many of us saw it coming and because we had "figured it out", we didn't think to look beyond waiting for the confirmation that we were right.. MARK MY WORDS, THERE IS MORE TO THIS THAN WE ARE SEEING because we've all been so stuck on having figured it out or being mad about it... What I keep coming back to is who the father is and who did the insemination... Ali tells Emily she remembers the procedure when she was locked up in Welby. THIS IS A HUGE CLUE OR POINT TO CONSIDER. I mean, clearly all official places in Rosewood are run by a bunch of dumbfucks (Rosewood Police, I'm looking at you.... until the delicious Furey showed up that is) and yes, clearly "Rollins" was lying about his identity in order to be a practicing doctor there... but they ARE NOT going to let some rando in a black hoodie and gloves come in with a turkey baster and shove it up some patient's hoo-ha. THIS HAD TO BE AN INSIDE JOB! Maybe Rollins was playing the AD game and was forced to do it? That I don't know. We DO know that AD stole Emily's eggs... so somehow, Emily's eggs were fertilized and inseminated into Ali... I'm still thinking on this one... I would love if someone would think about it too and tell me their thoughts because seriously, I think they duped us here (brilliantly!) by making the baby storyline obvious and having us focus on THAT rather than the real clues being shared...

Now that we've seen 7x15 and know that Ali is going through with the pregnancy and know that Emily wants the baby and know that they are trying to figure out who the father is, I feel like I am right in their being more to this.

*7x15: IN THE EYE ABIDES THE HEART*

Before I theorize, I just want to point out that I feel this was one of the best PLL episodes ever and don't think Troian's directing is a coincidence.... clearly this woman is talented, thoughtful and really GETS how this show should be done. Absolutely brilliant from start to stop and OH MAN the acting has been spot on from all of them..  And now onto the details.

*SHADY, SHADY EZRA AND THE NEAR HIDDEN EARPIECE*

Ohhhh Ostinato. You shady little bastard!! Gavin and I noticed at the same time that Ezra had a small, clear earpiece in his ear while he and Aria were arguing (as he was preparing to head to the airport). Now, let me start with this: I DO NOT BELIEVE FOR ONE SECOND THAT HE IS TROTTING OFF TO HELP NICOLE. I have been SOOOOO suspicious for a long while now about this... we only have his word that he's "helping Nicole". Yes yes, there was the article Aria saw in the magazine while she was with Holden, but those pictures were all clearly taken on the same day. Do I think *some* of the times he's gone he's been with Nicole? Yes... But the little hidden earpiece was a major point for me that he's hiding a shit ton!! Gavin and I saw it and he included a post with screenshots, so check it out! Ostinato is up to NO GOOD!!!

FURTHERMORE - let’s discuss this whole Wren & Ezra business... From the previous episode’s sneak-peek both Gavin and I were CONVINCED that he and Wren weren’t meeting for the first time... and after seeing the episode, I am even MORE convinced! There is NO WAY these two are being introduced for the first time (great acting, boys!) And beyond THAT... let’s look at the following facts -- Ezra was SO set on going to see “Nicole” that he had the fight with Aria (again, as I said above, I don’t believe for a hot second that he was flying off to Maine to see Nicole and her family...) We saw on the flight boards that there were a bunch of delays... then Spencer spots Ezra as she and Wren are clearly arguing... Ezra and Wren “meet”.... and then Ezra magically decides to skip out on going away!? NOT BUYING IT!! I think he stayed in Rosewood because of Wren... AND THEN when Ezra is telling Aria that his flight wasn’t delayed he just “didn’t get on it”... and then the camera pans over to his bag and we see a glow like from a phone ringing.. MY MONEY IS ON THAT CALL BEING FROM WREN!!!

*MONA, MONA, MONA...*

So I hadn’t crossed Mona off my suspect list... until the last episode. Again with the brilliant acting! Her fan-girling over the board game while at the same time the devastation crossing her face that she didn’t create it... pure genius AND also really changed my mind on her possibly being involved... I think we all need to pay attention to the “clues” that Mona gave us about who could have made the game... WHO IS THIS MONSTER!! 

*RANDOM THOUGHTS*

- Fuck, that comic book is cool... I gotta say, this whole Charles and Lucas friendship surprised the hell out of me and I LOVE IT! 

- As many have pointed out, did you see how the “A” in Lucas’s signature on the comic is the “A” a?! Lucas was TOP of my suspect list... but with a revel regarding him coming tonight I don’t think he’s the final AD... AGGH!

- WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE NUMBER 214!!!!?!?! Its shit like this that gives me hope that this storyline has been brewing all along....

- How long before Snapchat releases that creepy-ass Aria filter!? Honestly though, that was super amazingly creepy! I’ve seen a lot of people say the face looks like Paige, like Sydney, like Melissa (my first comparison was to Marlene actually...) but I feel like the clip at the end (YAY FOR AN A ENDING!) indicated that the face and voice are completely digitally generated and not someone talking live with some sort of filter on... Maybe cause AD has a British accent (WREN WREN WREN) or a recognizable voice to the PLL!? 

What did you all think!? Any comments, ideas or further pieces to examine!? I can’t wait to hear what you think and can’t wait to see tonight’s episode!!!!! 

Kisses, -K