A day without flirting is like... ...I have no idea! I've never tried it.

new yennskier fic! pre/post thanedd missing scenes. some kind of disaster - chapter 1 yennefer/jaskier ~7k. Missing scene, flashback. Banter, hurt/comfort, angst and pining, more tags on ao3. That storehouse looked like it probably had food, but he'd watched Ciri and Geralt on the ferry. She really loved spending time with Geralt. He clearly was enjoying spending time with her. Jaskier loved that for them.

"You two go and have some last minute father-daughter time. I'll stay here and supervise Yennefer to make sure she gets this shield in tip-top shape," Jaskier said brightly. Yennefer rolled her eyes at him, but she gave Geralt a Meaningful Stare that Jaskier found interesting. Not lust, not quite yearning, but maybe trust? Maybe they really had worked some of their shit out. Jaskier filed that detail away for later.

"I would like to put in an order for turtle soup and maybe some roasted wild boar while you're out there." Jaskier said to Ciri, earning him a laugh.

"Rabbit stew it is," Geralt said.

Jaskier tipped his head back in exasperation and Ciri gave him a companionable shoulder-bump before bounding off with Geralt. "At least keep your noses open for any wild truffles!"

"There aren't any truffles on the island," Yenenfer said.

"Why must you dash my hopes and dreams of extravagant morsels?" Jaskier sighed.

"I'm overdue for tormenting the bard," Yennefer said, not bothering to hide a smile.

"Well, I wouldn't want to deprive you," he muttered reflexively.

read on ao3

the first and last time Geralt suggested he sleep on the floor when there was only one bed at the inn

you know once Geralt finally got in bed and was almost asleep Jaskier whispered “so are you overcome with lust now that you’re touching my nubile young body” and he almost got up and bedded down with Roach in the stable lol

[ID Jaskier leans dramatically back on the bed as Geralt stands awkwardly next to the bed. Jaskier is laughing as he says “oh no! A scoundrel alone in a room with me? My precious virtue will be in danger sharing a bed with such a handsome rogue. Please good sir I am an innocent bard who has never known the touch of a man” End ID]

Here’s the thing:

Jaskier doesn’t have a horse. I mean yeah, technically he has Pegasus but in nw and most fanon media he doesn’t. The man walks at the same pace as a horse every day for twenty years. And I’m sure Geralt let him put SOME things on Roach, but probably not much. She’s Geralt’s horse and needs to carry his things AND Geralt, no one wants her to be over extended with bard stuff. So that means Jaskier carries all his stuff himself which is AT MINIMUM, his lute, notebooks, probably like 3 sets of relatively complex performing outfits and road clothes, all his fancy cosmetic stuff, a bedroll, and his METAL coin money. He also probably has first aid things like bandages and potions, frivolous things like baubles and jewelry, food, water, and probably other bard stuff like spare strings and such.

Yeah, Jask is depicted as traveling without bags but that’s just not possible. He probably carries his own essentials and as someone who backpacks— that alone is usually 20+ lbs. WITH modern technology aimed at making things lighter. Thats not counting all the fancy stuff he’s prone to and his career tools. Jaskier is probably hauling like 40-50lbs or more of stuff EVERY DAY while mostly roughing it off the land and keeping pace with a man on horseback. Oh, and this is WHILE SINGING AND TALKING the entire time. Can you imagine this man’s lung capacity? To sing and talk constantly while exerting himself?

This is all to say: Jaskier is strong as fuck and fit as hell. The thing is though, he probably doesn’t even recognize it. Yeah, he probably knows he’s got the muscle and such, but he still is largely perceived as a delicate person. He PROJECTS being delicate. Being fragile and pampered and in need of the finer things. He projects capable, but not strong. This. Is. Hilarious.

Jaskier, having already walked 12 miles at a moderate incline carrying 40lbs of stuff without breaking a sweat (it’s barely past midday): Geralt I am FRAGILE. I cannot POSSIBLY walk through this mud. (It’s like a 3 ft section) I’m not a rugged mountain man like you, I’m simply not BUILT for this!

Geralt, staring at Jaskier who’s as burly as most Witchers and has walked the path w/o Witcher training for over a decade: hm

Another The Witcher fanart based on an amazing idea by vortexoffate.

I was truly thrilled drawing this beautiful scene! ❤

"I do not wish to fight you." THE WITCHER S03E06

*me, at the Trope™️ store

The reluctant father figure who adopts a scruffy child?

Yes I would like some more please 🙏

Radovid: So, you and Jaskier have been friends for years, huh? Sorry if this is a weird question, but maybe you could give me some advice? I'm new to this entire relationship thing

Geralt, who is still traumatized from Burn Butcher Burn: Just be nice to him

Is your witcher creepy or wet today

-don't copy or repost without credit-

~*tension*~

the witcher 1x04: of banquets, bastards, and burials

[image description: two sequential digital paintings; in the first painting, jaskier kneels near a window at the foot of a bathtub with a soft, open gaze. in the second painting, geralt sits in the tub with his arms propped up on the rim and stares back with a guarded expression.]

Girlfriend say something normal about Joey Batey challenge (failed)