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monkeythefander · 8 months

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Sanders Sides Angst Headcannons

@thatsthat24

CW: Angst headcannons for each of the sides

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• After Janus’ fake compliments in the courtroom, Roman has a hard time believing compliments from Thomas and the other sides.

• Back when Virgil still lived with the Dark Sides, Janus would make a cake for Virgil’s birthday every year that the two of them and the other Dark Sides could share. After Virgil left, Janus continued the tradition of baking a cake. However since Virgil’s gone Janus takes the cake to the anxious side’s old room and eats some of it by himself, leaving a bit in the room in case Virgil ever decides to come back.

• Remus has a sketch book full of drawings he and Roman made together before the mindscape became divided. Whenever Remus misses his brother he’ll look at the drawings.

• Since nobody likes to listen to him, Logan has a journal he writes all his thoughts in. The journal started off as a professional log of his days, but it’s slowly become more of diary since it’s basically his only companion.

• Patton has a closet full of boxes tissue boxes in his room because he lets out all the sad emotions he suppresses through tears when he’s alone.

A/N: I just wanted to note that if you like any of my headcannons and want to write a fanfic or make a drawing based on it you can do so as long as you credit me and tag me in the post so I can see it.

-Monkey💜

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yourchemicallyimbalancedromance · 7 months

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Burned Bridges

Summary: Virgil runs into a wasted Janus at a party that his best friend, Roman, is throwing on Halloween night. A locked door forces them to confront their heavy past.

Ships: past analogical, present prinxiety

CW/TW: Alcohol, smoking, homophobia and bullying, Human!Virgil, Human!Remus (mentioned), Human!Roman, Human!Remy (mentioned), Human!Janus, Human!Logan (mentioned), unsympathetic Virgil, unsympathetic Janus, sympathetic Roman

It was October 31st and instead of binge watching horror movies by himself in the dark of his room, Virgil found himself standing in the corner of his childhood bestfriends house, early 2000’s pop music blasting in the background. He hadn’t dressed up and hundreds of people were bobbing up and down in a sea of red plastic cups, costumes, and glow stick bracelets, screaming the lyrics that came out of the speakers Roman had bought. He’d forced Virgil to go with him to buy them after begging him to come to the party because, in his words, “you never get out of the house, it’ll be fun! Especially if you meet a cute guy”

Virgil laughed after he said this, only responded with “yeah, whatever you say, Roman.”

Tequila suffocated anything that represented a pleasant smell out of the room. He was holding a drink himself, taking sips of it occasionally; not because it tasted good—at all—but because he had a hunch he wouldn’t want to remember the events of tonight.

His throat burned. He knew he wasn’t supposed to sip Tequila, normally he chugged it, but he liked the distraction of the pain and the warmth that filled him after every taste.

He desperately looked around for a familiar face. Last he saw Roman was when the party had started four hours earlier. It was now 2 AM and he had done nothing but drink, take shots with Remus and a few of his friends, be forced to dance by Remy, and stand in the corner waiting for it all to be over.

He chugged the rest of his drink and stood there for a moment, sinking in the environment around him, ultimately deciding to hide in the bathroom until the party was over. He took a few shaky steps into the crowd of people, shoving past drunks and the occasional stoner. He never really understood why Roman hung out with these kind of people, he honestly doubted that he knew most of the people in his house anyway.

He found his way to the bathroom and shoved it open, quickly closing and locking it, sitting on the cold tile floor.

In his rush, he hadn’t noticed Janus, wearing a Harry Potter costume, who was also sitting on the floor.

“Fuck, Sorry I didn’t know you were—“

Janus cuts him off “Vrrrrrrgggllll” he laughs, the name on his tongue slurring together.

“Look I didn’t know you were in here, I’ll just leave.” He states bluntly, getting up to open the door, wishing he still had his drink, he really didn’t want to remember this. He tried to force down his unresolved anger but it came out sharp in his voice.

“Vir-gil,” Janus hiccups “can I tell youuuu a secret?”

Virgil tries to unlock the door but it’s jammed, no matter how hard he pulls or twists the knob, it won’t budge. He sinks back down to the floor, annoyed. “Whatever Janus, sure” he says

“I think you’re still angry at me” he blurts out, giggling a bit, eyes drooping.

“Yeah, I am. You fucked me over, really bad. Who wouldn’t be.” he spits. He had his knees to his chest, his back to the door, trying to stay as far away from Janus as he could.

Janus struggled to stand up, grabbing onto the shower curtain and slipping, falling back down, pulling the curtain and rod down with him. Janus just giggled. “Oops.” was all he said.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Fucking hell, Janus. Can you stop being a nuisance for two minutes?” He screams.

Janus looks at him for a moment before registering what he said, mumbling a “sorry”

With anyone else, Virgil would’ve felt sorry for yelling, but Janus was the exception. He deserved it, worse than that even.

“You ruined the one good thing I had and you expect me to feel fucking sorry for you?” He snaps.

“I-“ Janus hiccups “I didn’t mean to” the light and carelessness in his eyes from earlier, gone. Now replaced with only a hint of it behind dull pupils.

“Yeah?, well you did. You think ganging up on me and Logan didn’t fucking ruin our relationship? You think the constant harassment inside and outside of Uni wasn’t fucking enough for me to have atleast a little bit of anger towards you?” he was practically screeching but he didn’t care, the music would cover it anyway.

Janus was staring at him, almost emotionless apart from the look in his eyes, which were starting to water.

Virgil got up to try the door again when Roman suddenly opened it, looking from Virgil to Janus and then Virgil again. He gave him a “what the actual hell is going on????” look and Virgil just shook his head, shoved past Roman and into the crowd.

Roman stared at Janus for a minute, taking notice of the curtain and curtain rod astray on the floor. He didn’t say anything, just closed the door and ran after Virgil.

———————————————————————

After a few minutes of searching inside, he found Virgil in his front yard, sitting on the stairs, smoking a cigarette.

He sat down next to him and a thick silence hung between them. Virgil blew out smoke into the cold air before clearing his throat. “He was acting like we were best friends again, can you believe it?” He laughed in exasperation.

Roman could believe it, Janus had always been an asshole in College and even before that, that was kinda his thing, which was why he was surprised when Virgil had suddenly decided to become friends with him one day.

“He’s so funny dude, like literally one of the best people I’ve ever met” he had said

Roman had just smiled and laughed in return, knowing how awful he was to his other friends.

Roman didn’t say anything this time either, just shook his head.

“I hate him so much, Ro. He’s awful. He ruined everything. Logan hasn’t spoken to me in almost a year because of the shit he pulled before we graduated.”

Roman sighed, “I know, Virg…but he’s not necessarily known for being a good person, I thought you knew that” he says softly.

Virgil took a drag of his cigarette and breathed out, “obviously not.” He said a little annoyed.

Immediately he regretted it. “Sorry” he said, tapping his cigarette and letting the ashes fall.

Roman gave him a reassuring smile, “it’s okay”

Virgil put his cigarette on the concrete step they were sat on, getting rid of its light and throwing the butt into the grass. He put his head in his hands. “Life’s rough, man. I don’t even miss him anymore I’m just upset because he made me really, really happy. Sometimes…I feel like it’s my fault? for introducing him to Janus.”

“It’s not your fault at all. It’s his. Honestly? I don’t even know why he’s here. I didn’t invite him, someone else probably did.“ Roman says the last part sheepishly, a little ashamed that he let Janus in his house with his best friend that he hurt irreversibly.

Virgil turns to Roman, staring at him longingly in the eyes. They were beautiful. Hazel with green specks around the edges. Maybe it was the tequila, or his exhaustion, or his desperation to feel loved by someone, but he slowly moved a hand to Romans face.

“Can I?” He whispered

Roman looked at him for a moment, weighing his options. He did like Virgil, but what if he was doing this in a drunken haze? What if he was just using him to get over Logan? He didn’t believe he was truly over their relationship just yet.

Despite these fears, Roman shook his head and their lips locked. He let himself melt into it, let himself enjoy the moment. He tasted of alcohol, honey lavender tea, and Marlboro Reds.

After a moment, Virgil pulled away; A look of blissful happiness on his face.

Roman was still holding onto the moment, staring through Virgil.

He looked at him, worried. “oh god I’m so sorry did you not want—“

Roman interrupted him, “No! no I did..I really, really did.” He smiled, genuinely.

Virgil returned it, “That’s good.”

Roman paused for a second “so…does this mean we’re dating?..” he asked “cause you’re drunk and I just don’t want-“

Virgil took Romans hands in his. “I’m just a little tipsy, Honey, but I know what I want, and what I want is this.” he says gently.

“Okay.” Roman responds, hopeful.

“I’m gonna head home, alright? Text me, I’ll respond as soon as I can” Virgil says

“I will, love” he says. The nickname feels odd leaving his lips, especially being used on someone who’s been his friend for 22 years, but he says it anyway.

Virgil gets in his car and pauses.

Romans phone dings after a minute or two and he takes it out of his pocket, reading the message before watching Virgil’s car leave his driveway.

Virgil<3: “I promise I want this, and I want you. Some tequila and a little heartbreak doesn’t change that. 💜”

Roman smiles, puts his phone back in his pocket, and goes back inside.

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awesamkiller · 1 year

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forgot I had this scruffy virgil angst doodle on my iPad so. Take it

Lyrics from The Monochrome Mentality

#virgil sanders angst #virgil sanders fanart #Virgil sanders #sanders sides angst #sanders sides fanart #sanders sides

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golden-songbird · 1 year

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i have a new au based on this musical concept album i like:

so basically, it’s gonna be an ancient au, where there is a war going on between two kingdoms. the leader of the army, janus, receives a prophecy from an ancient god that he has to kill an infant who is the son of the enemy, or else the infant will grow up to become the biggest enemy they’ve ever faced.

but janus can’t bring himself to kill a baby who’s done nothing yet. so he kidnaps the baby, and raises the baby as his own, isolating him in a little house in the middle of nowhere and taking care of him. the baby’s name is virgil.

but even as virgil grows from a baby into a boy into a teenager, the war is still happening. janus dies in battle the day before virgil’s sixteenth birthday, and virgil decides to set off and go to war to avenge his father.

but this is his first time interacting with other people. and virgil is overwhelmed by how big the world really is. but he has a sharp mind that’s perfect for battle, and he becomes an asset to the army he joins easily. they travel from island to island.

but there is another young boy on the boat in the army, and his name is roman. he’s the same age as virgil, and unlike virgil, who is cautious and wary, gripping his sword tightly and refusing to trust anything, roman is the opposite. he has magical powers, that he can communicate with animals, and he uses it to make friends and restore peace and hope. it’s revealed that roman is the son of hermes, the messenger god. but roman’s trusting attitude and naïveté to the real world results in him nearly dying multiple times, and when he puts the army in grave danger that almost killed them all, he gets forced out of the army, abandoned on an island.

virgil grapples with the idea that demigods exist to begin with, as they get to an island that keeps them trapped, and they have to pass a trial to escape. virgil manages to figure out the puzzle and set his army free, and athena shows herself as the one who created the test.

it’s revealed that he is a demigod. the son of athena, the goddess of wisdom and strategy. athena gives virgil another prophecy, that he’ll be saved from the fate of losing himself and his identity if he goes against his instinct and does what he’s always refused to do.

virgil doesn’t understand, and he doesn’t know what he always refused to do, until it comes to him.

he refused to trust.

so in order to keep the prophecy of him becoming an enemy from coming true, he has to rescue roman. and virgil can already feel himself growing darker, and starting to lose control of his own body and mind. will he be able to fight the prophecy and replace it with another?

#sanders sides #roman sanders #sanders sides au #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #virgil sanders angst #roman sanders angst #ts virgil #ts roman angst #ts virgil angst #ts roman #sanders sides fandom #janus sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #writing #tss #prinxiety

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tss-whumper · 6 months

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tss kidnapped au

this is the summary of my tss kidnapped au!

(cw -> kidnapping, c-ptsd, abusive parents, physical abuse, violence, emotional abuse, ransom, captivity, past bullying)

roman was a spoiled brat and a bully. from kindergarten all the way to the tenth grade, he always got everything he wanted, and his powerful politician parents had enough money to buy him an entire country if they wanted to. with his influence and money, roman terrorized other children, making fun of them for not being able to afford name brand clothes, recording them crying and posting it to his very active social media accounts, and overall just making their days at school a living hell. he doesn't get violent, not wanting to dirty his dainty hands, but he has others do his dirty work for him, rewarding them with money and the like.

and his most prominent victim is virgil: a small, shy boy his age who obviously is very poor. virgil's life has been made a living hell by roman, and he dreads going to school because of it.

until roman gets kidnapped.

virgil is free, but at what cost? without roman to stifle him, he becomes more confident, coming into his own and finding his voice. but in the back of his mind, he can't help but worry about roman, at the mercy of dangerous men who have done way worse than the fifteen-year-old spoiled brat was ever capable of.

when roman gets rescued two years later, he’s a completely new person. years of torment did something to him. he never brags, never says rude things anymore. he's changed drastically, but was it really for the better? or really for the worse?

virgil is torn, but he decides to help roman out, seeing that everybody else is too scared to approach the fallen monarch. maybe this is his way of getting closure, of letting roman's reign of terror come to an end by shaking hands and declaring a truce.

as the two get to know each other better, as friends instead of enemies, roman learns just how awful virgil's life was, even without roman's torment in the way. virgil's parents were terrible to him, and they ended up going to jail for child abuse/endangerment. and virgil finds out what roman's time with the kidnappers was like: nonstop abuse and terror, and heartbreak because his parents valued their power more than his safety. the two slowly understand each other more and more, and start to become genuine friends more so than stranded kids helping each other through a tough situation.

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prince-rowan-of-the-forest · 1 year

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cn we get some angsty virgie boi?

Hi! No idea where in the brain this one came from heres a kinda angsty Virgil?

I wasn't sure if you meant like- Virgil giving teen angst vibes of Virgil Angst, I went with the second option lol.

I don't usually do angsty stuff, but idk, this was fun!

Also the poem thing came from the depths of my brain I have no idea what my braincells are doing in there.

Thank you for the request! This was fun to draw!!!

Any other doodle requests from anyone feel free to throw them at me full velocity!

#sanders sides #art #sanders sides art #digital aritst #virgil sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders fanart #virgil sanders angst #rowan arts #doodle requests

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lemonade-ducks · 1 year

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#virgil sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders angst #sanders sides #moodboard #aesthetic #aesthetics #pinterest #click for better quality #artemissmakeswallpaper #do not repost without credit

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sanders-whump · 1 year

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dollhouse au

TWs:

-Smoking/cigarette addiction

-Domestic violence

-Verbal abuse

-Stockholm Syndrome

Characters:

-Virgil Foster: 17 years old, the oldest child in the Foster family. Is Patton’s biological son. Fiercely protective over his little brothers and his papa, Logan. The instigator. Picks fights and does whatever he can to direct all negative attention towards him versus anybody else. Has a smoking addiction, but refuses to admit it.

-Logan Foster: 35 years old. The papa of Virgil, Roman, and Remus. Weak and emotionally exhausted, his solution to his situation is to try and take as much of the brunt as possible. Has lost hope for any kind of escape, but does all he can to make his kids feel happy and safe in an unhappy and unsafe environment. Kind and gentle with his kids, though very protective over them.

-Patton Foster: 52 years old. A cruel father to Roman, Remus, and Virgil especially, who is his biologically. Has a terrible drinking habit, and flies into drunk rages when things do not go his way. Loves to put down his children, sees them as parasites rather than kids. Heavily favors Roman, and makes this known. Gaslights and threatens his family into keeping quiet.

-Roman Foster: 9 years old, a young boy who has a seemingly unlimited amount of optimism at his disposal. The golden child, and the baby of the family, usually sheltered from the situation by the rest of his family. Bright and cheerful, with an impressive work ethic, he’s determined to help his family in any way he can. Not as oblivious as people assume. Unhealthily attached to his twin brother.

-Remus Foster: 9 years old. Hauntingly mature for his age, with a serious and callous disposition. Does all he can to protect his brother from Patton, glad to keep things the way they are as long as Roman is safe and unharmed. The black sheep. Has trouble regulating emotions, tends to use physical violence such as biting and clawing to try and escape unsafe situations. Unhealthily attached to his twin brother.

-Remy Stonewall: 38 years old. Logan’s older brother. Owns his own coffee shop downtown. Had a rocky, turbulent childhood, but grew up into a wise, kind man. Loves his family, though he doesn’t get to see them very often due to Patton’s control over them. Knows little about the situation, but tries to help with the problems that he does know are present, such as their poverty.

-Emile Picani: 34 years old. Remy’s boyfriend, and the temporary child therapist of Roman and Remus. A quirky, but kind person, who loves cartoons and helping troubled children. A hopeless romantic.

Plot:

One could compare the Foster household to a dollhouse. Pretty and perfect on the outside, but on the inside, controlled by one person. Patton was a dictator in his family. He controlled all the money, all the schedules, all the food, all the chores. When he wanted something from his husband or children, he got it, no questions asked. And if he didn’t? That was when punishment ensued.

The house was a miserable place for Logan, Roman, Virgil, and Remus. Logan, being Patton’s husband, has tried to escape many times, but it only resulted in worse and worse punishment, and taking it out on the children. So Logan stopped trying, and resigned himself to being Patton’s punching bag.

Virgil, being a teenager, has had enough of Patton’s treatment. He openly rebels and instigates in order to draw Patton’s attention away from Logan and the little twins. It gets him hurt, but by now, Virgil is used to it. For most of his childhood, after all, Patton was all he knew.

But soon, it all becomes too much. The twins are having a hard time hiding the bruises at school, and Virgil’s injuries get worse and worse, as does Logan’s. They decide that they need to run away from Patton. But where is there to go? Luckily, Logan’s brother Remy has a big house, and he’s always begging Logan to come visit. It all comes crashing down when Logan finally decides to tell Remy what’s been going on with Patton.

(content will be tagged #tss dollhouse au)

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janis-takes-requests · 2 years

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Janis’ Angst Corner

+ Patton and Roman can’t just magic away wounds like Janus, Logan, Virgil and Remus can. Being the most emotional sides, means that they can’t just logic their way out of the pain. The others can get out of it because all they do is rationalize that they are imaginary and therefore cannot be hurt

+ Janus pretends that he has good coping mechanisms, but in reality their coping mechanisms include; getting black out drunk, scraping off their scales (only to magic away the scars and blood), and smoking weed with Remus

+ Remus can’t watch Beauty and the Beast anymore because it was Roman’s favorite movie, and anything that reminds him of Roman will send him into a blind rage.

+ Part of the reason Virgil left the dark sides was because of Remus constantly seeing red over small things, even though Remus never hurt him or Janus, it made him extremely anxious to see him tearing up the dark side of the mindscape.

#janis' angst corner #sanders sides angst #janus sanders angst #remus sanders angst #virgil sanders angst #sanders sides dark sides angst #patton sanders angst #roman sanders angst

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icy-cold-bitch-latte · 2 years

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I'm really tempted to write a vampire Virgil x reader fic but I currently have no inspiration to do it rn sooo-

#i want to get something like that written by halloween #but ughh my brains empty #virgil sanders #vampire virgil #virgil sanders imagines #virgil sanders x reader #virgil sanders fluff #virgil sanders angst #virgil sanders smut #not safe for sanders #mosses random thoughts

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candied-peach · 2 years

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ao3: “there’s no way out” rating: T warnings: ducking out, ambiguous ending genre: hurt no comfort description: Virgil knows there are no other options. Not for someone like him. (day 2: “You know how sometimes you tell yourself that you have a choice, but really you don’t have a choice? Just because there are alternatives doesn’t mean they apply to you.” — Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave @tsshipmonth2020 )

Virgil locks his door with a wave of his hand, yanking the hood of his hoodie over his bed and flopping into his unmade bed. His stomach is sour, twisting uneasily. Another day, another argument. Not surprising. Patton's the only one who even somewhat tolerates him, and that's because Patton would tolerate just about anybody. Patton would be the one out there feeding a rabid wolverine table scraps. It was nothing personal.

No, everyone hates him. Princey sure does. Logan has tossed a begrudging compliment his way once or twice, but he knows they don't really mean anything, either. Virgil just isn't as outright emotional as the other two, so Logan appreciates it every once in a while. But sooner or later, his down in the dumps bullshit grates, and his "cognitive distortions" ruin the day, and it's too much. It's always too much.

And Princey- hoo boy, he's amazed Roman hasn't run him through with his sword by now. Virgil knows he wants to. Knows he thinks Virgil is nothing more than a Debbie Downer, here to ruin everyone's day on purpose. Couldn't possibly have something useful or important to say. Why not let Thomas do whatever he wants? That makes sense, right?

He left the others, so he knows that they can't stand him. Why should they? He still remembers the raised voices ringing in his ears the day he left. The hurt poisoning Janus's words when he told Virgil not to come back. The anger bleeding through Remus's green eyes, mingling with the pain.

Thomas is afraid of him.

That hurts most of all. Thomas- everything he does is for Thomas, and Thomas is afraid of him. Thomas wants him gone. Thomas dedicated a whole video to it, really. How to 'deal with' your anxiety. More like how to deal with Virgil. Virgil swallows hard, the idea blooming in his head once more, sickly like a corpse flower.

Just duck out.

The idea has appeal. Thomas will still have caution (or he should, Virgil is a little fuzzy on the details). But the rest of it...the rest of him...Thomas doesn't need Virgil. Thomas needs some level of anxiety, but he doesn't need Virgil, and the thought doesn't sting as much as it probably should.

Virgil pulls his blankets over him, a sudden sense of calm stealing over him as his plan solidifies. He'll return to the subconscious, a blob of nothing, and Thomas won't need him anymore. The others will have their wish granted. The light sides and the others. No one wants someone like Virgil, and he understands. He understands all too clearly now. He's done.

With a deep, shuddering breath, Virgil ducks out.

#🍬.txt #sanders sides #eotp2022 #tsshipmonth2022 #virgil sanders #virgil #virgil sanders angst #hurt no comfort #sanders sides fic #📚#ok to rb #peach writes

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monkeythefander · 5 months

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See below the cut for a Virgil angst drawing that’s based on the song “She Likes a Boy” by Nxdia. The drawing features unrequited? (or at least Virgil thinks it will stay/is unrequited) Prinxiety. There are also repetitive lyrics/words with a lot of exclamation points.

Here’s a Virgil angst drawing based on the song “She Likes a Boy” by Nxdia since I’ve had the song and drawing trend for it since I’ve had the song stuck in my head since I first listened to it. I changed the lyrics around (which I included in the drawing) to say “he” instead of “she” so the drawing’s story matches the lyrics.

Story behind the drawing: This is a human au (either high school or college, I’m not sure which I prefer). Virgil likes their best friend, Roman. But Roman is always talking about how he likes boys, so Virgil thinks they’d had no chance with him since they’re not a boy. They’re nonbinary. Are Virgil’s feelings actually unrequited though? I don’t know. That’s why the warning for the drawing says unrequited with a question mark.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanart #prinxiety #unrequited prinxiety #virgil sanders angst #virgil sanders #roman sanders #nonbinary virgil sanders #digital art #fanart #fander fanart

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virgilisnotemo · 2 years

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The Light Behind Your Eyes (Stories With Virgil)

(Gif and animation Belongs to its original owner)

WARNINGS OF ANGST, MENTION OF SUICIDE, DETAILED SELF-HARM, DETAILED VIOLENCE

I awoke with a start, jolting awake. My vision blurs as I look around in a haze. I can't hear anything! What's going on!? I soon regain my hearing within a few seconds, gasping for air realizing I couldn't breathe. I choked down some air, bolting upright as I hold my head in pain. Great... I was drenched in sweat... Another shower for me today...

I sighed irritably and ruffled my hair before putting my sweater on. I sat in bed for quite awhile trying to forget that dreadful nightmare. I couldn't escape the indespicable dream. The last thing I remembered before waking up was my body hurling towards the ground. I woke up before impact. What's wrong with me?

I put my earphones into my ears and put my hood up. Let's listen to the song that cheers me up the most. Or well, tries to cheer me up.

I honestly don't know what could cheer me up at this point. Maybe Patton could, but he's a bit too cheery for me. That kid is way too energetic sometimes.

I grabbed my phone off my bed, putting The Light Behind Your Eyes on repeat. I put my phone in my pocket, put my hood over my head, got my shoes on, and went out the door into the depths of Thomas's mind.

Let me tell you, this is a place you don't want to be. Being in the middle of this idiot's head can be terrifying especially when he starts overthinking things. Hmm... that makes me wonder... is Thomas awake?

I wander to the part of his mind where I'm able to pop up on the stairs. God, this is disgusting... I pop up on the stairs and walk up to Thomas's room. I open up the door and see him sitting in bed, looking around. He's awake... Thomas looked up and jumped when he saw me.

"Virgil!" Thomas exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

"I decided to check on you I guess," I replied, leaning against the wall, "Did I wake you up?"

"Maybe," Thomas replied, "I'm a little startled by the dream I had."

I nodded and kinda just left without him noticing and wandered Thomas's mind again. What was he dreaming about last night? Was it my fault I caused this dream...?

I sighed softly and went back inside my room. I sat on my bed and resumed my music, hugging my knees. Did I cause Thomas to wake up? I'm not bad... I'm not the bad guy everyone thinks I am and now Roman is going to think I did it... I can't... I need to get out of here... No Virgil, they'll definitely know something is up... Should I just hang around Thomas? No, he might become suspicious too...

I sighed again, biting my bottom lip to stop it from quivering. At least it's early in the morning... At least they won't see how I weak I am being... As tears brimmed my eyelids, a few tears slipped from my tear ducts. That's when the water works started. I was now full on sobbing silently into my knees as I hugged them closer. Did I wake him up...? Maybe I projected my emotions onto him... Oh dear god, please tell me I'm not effecting him....

I silently got up, popping up in Thomas's place again, sneaking into the bathroom and grabbed a razor blade before sinking out and back into my room. I took my sweater off and threw it across my room. I--I-- what did I do wrong...? It has to be my fault he's awake.... Right?

I grabbed the blade and put it up to my arm and pressed down, sliding the sharp metal against my skin. I hissed in pain, tears slipping down my cheeks again. I'm worthless.... I can't even protect Thomas from myself.... I do the same thing over and over again on both of my arms. It hurts, but it's the only way to get rid of this pain... I cried into my knees again, putting my sweater back on after the wounds stopped bleeding. Time to go to the living space I guess. I popped up in Thomas's living room. I saw he was wearing a t-shirt and sighed in relief.

"Oh, hey again Virgil," Thomas greeted, "You're usually in your room. Why are you out so early?"

"Same reason as you," I replied, making myself a cup of coffee.

"Can't sleep too huh?" Thomas asked, shifting to look over at me.

"Yeah," I replied, "Nightmares again."

Thomas nodded and went back on his phone. Is he scrolling through Tumblr again? As I was waiting for my coffee, I peek over his shoulder. He totally is. I went back to grab my coffee and sat on the dining room table, taking a sip of my drink. Being a vampire / demon, the only thing I loved more than blood and flesh was coffee. It always gave me a little boost of energy for when I needed it.

I soon finished my coffee and washed the cup for Thomas as I felt like I had to.

"Virgil, you didn't have to clean that for me," Thomas implied, "I could've cleaned your cup."

"I-- I just felt like it I guess," I came up with an excuse again.

"You sure?" He asked, double checking if we were okay like he usually did.

I nodded and waved slightly before sinking out to check on the others. I wonder how they're doing. I zipped up my sweater and put my hood over my head like I usually did in the morning. I shuffled my feet towards the living space in the mind palace Roman created for us so we weren’t just sitting in a pitch black, endless void. As soon as entered, they looked at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Where were you?” Logan asked, “You usually join us for breakfast at least.”

“Yeah!” Patton piped up in his usual chipper time, ”Is there something bothering you kiddo?”

“No, nothing is bothering me,” I told half of a lie, “I was just checking on Thomas.”

“Ah, yes,” Logan started going on his usual tangent again, “I see Thomas is awake at this unusual time hence why we’re awake.”

“Actually, it’s quite bright outside,” Roman retorted, noticing my discomfort at Logan’s statement.

I hid in my hood even further and walked off. Maybe he was awake for a different reason... I’ll be fine, right? I wandered into the depths of Thomas’s mind again. I need to be somewhere where I’ll feel calmer. I heard running behind me. I whipped around and saw Roman running after me.

“What are you doing out here!?” I asked in complete alarm, “Do you even know how dangerous it can be out here!?”

“I just wanted to check on you after that blunt statement Specs made,” Roman replied, “Plus, I am a prince and nothing here fears me!”

“Roman, nothing kills a man faster than their own head,” I told him before turning around and walked again.

Roman still followed me, a little surprised by my last statement. When I say it’s dangerous here, it really is. I’ve survived most of Thomas’s thoughts that disturb him, but that’s only because I helped him calm down once I was calm. I’ve experienced things outside the mind palace and my room more than anyone should. I just hope Roman will be able to handle all of it, especially when I only envision how the inside of someone’s head actually looks like. I guess I just liked that kind of stuff.

Roman seemed highly uncomfortable. Right, when I’m out here, my thoughts project into the other side’s head as well. I hope I’m not scaring Patton. He hates the thoughts that I come up with while I’m literally travelling the depths of Thomas’s mind without getting myself into any dangerous situations. Roman was staying closer to me. I need to find the source of Thomas’s dreams now.

“You sure this is a good idea emo gay?” Roman questioned.

“Really?” I questioned.

“That’s the best I could come up with right now,” Roman retorted, “Your thoughts aren’t helping! Why are they so disturbing!?”

“Roman, relax,” I warned, “Don’t make Thomas get worried.”

“Right, because disturbing thoughts like being out here and you hardly surviving it is fine,” Roman started to ramble, “What if we don’t make it back?”

“Roman, please relax before I panic,” I warned with a more stern tone of voice, “I came out here to be calm, not anxious.”

As we finished our walk through Thomas's mind, I head to my room. It was time for bed. Fun.

{Discontinued because I don't want to talk about it anymore, but Logan, this story is for you.}

@dee-as-logan

#roleplay #rp #sander sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders angst #virgil angst #virgil sanders

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will-die-for-janus · 6 months

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Logan thinking Virgil didn’t care enough to put any effort into his gift AND thinking it’s because something is wrong with him and need to re-evaluate

but then him finding out Virgil made something incredibly thoughtful that appeals to his interests specifically

bonus: Virgil being so mad over Janus implying he put no thought into his gift

#i wanna cry just thinking about it bro #at least he got a happy surprised at the end :]#nillatalks #sanders sides #thomas sanders #thatsthat24 #ts sanders sides #new sanders sides #logan sanders #logan angst #ts logan #ts virgil #virgil sanders

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golden-songbird · 2 years

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my rad dogs au

(based on the song from pjsk!!)

since we love a prinxiety enemies to lovers journey, roman and virgil are competitors.

they're both piano players, but the difference is that piano was forced upon virgil while roman uses piano to escape from his problems. virgil's father, patton, wants virgil to become a famous classical pianist while roman lives with his troublemaking brother and negligent older cousin, and neither of them even know that he plays piano.

roman and virgil go head to head at competitions, and roman is usually the one who comes out on top. while virgil sticks to the letter, roman likes inventing things on the fly and playing things that make him happy, even if it's not what's on the page.

but roman doesn't know that whenever virgil loses to him, he suffers terribly as a result. and virgil doesn't know that roman doesn't have anybody to celebrate his wins with. he's just all alone.

one day at a competition, roman gets bored and draws a picture in a piano book. it's only after he finishes when he realizes that it wasn't his, but someone else's. virgil is amused when he sees the drawing in his book, and writes that he thinks it's a good drawing before leaving it open for the artist to find (this is after he performed). at every competition, this exchange keeps happening in virgil's piano book, neither of them knowing that the other is the one they're writing to until they reach to respond at the same time, and find out.

unfortunately, before they have the chance to process that they were piano book pen pals with their mortal enemy, patton sees virgil's book and is absolutely furious. roman ends up instinctively defending virgil, which makes patton angry, but it makes virgil rethink his entire opinion on the cocky, unthinking, always winning roman.

the two end up becoming reluctant friends, and virgil sees how roman invents his music. roman starts letting virgil win so he won't get hurt.

but roman's improvisations are usually happy and fun, and eventually, they start to grow angry and sad. virgil, confused and a little worried, decides to figure out what's changed roman's tune.

#sanders sides #roman sanders #sanders sides au #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders angst #virgil sanders angst #sanders sides fanfiction #unsympathetic patton #prinxiety

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