#V. T. Abraham
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49 THINGS I AM GRATEFUL TO GOD FOR AS I TURN 49!
Duke Jeyaraj
On 31 October 2023, I turn 49!
I took time to recall 49 blessings He graciously sent into my life!
The Lord Jesus “chose me in him before the foundation of the world, that I should be holy and blameless before him” (Eph. 1:4).
He blessed me with a good missionary heritage through my parents, Mr. A. Jeyaraj and Mrs. Vimala Jeyaraj, Blessing Youth Mission missionaries.
He gave me…
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#AAI#Allahabad Agricultural Insititute#Biography#Blessing Youth Mission#blessings#Christian Ministry#duke jeyaraj#duke jeyaraj life history#g4 mission#God&039;s grace#Life Story#SABC#SHUATS#Southern Asia Bible College#Testimony#V. T. Abraham#Youth Ministry
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[Improving some of my gifs/gifsets these days] 𝟚 of 𝟛, 2023.
The time a placid lad's post-traumatic syndrome rubs off on you.
#Aoi Takumi#blog#my gifs#special gifset#The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope#The Dark Pictures Anthology#Little Hope#2020#game#license version#v.2.1#PC#Anthony Clarke#Andrew#Abraham Alastor#James T. Clarke#Daniel#etc
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On the Neturei Karta: Contextualizing criticism of an ultra-religious group
TL;DR: The Neturei Karta is a far-right ultra-orthodox religious Jewish group that is politically and religiously opposed to Zionism and is pro-Palestine. They believe in a strict interpretation of the Torah and are extremely socially conservative. They see Israel as dangerous for both Jews and Palestinians. Like most religious adherents to Abrahamic religions, they believe in end times where a messianic figure will come. Like most people who hold these beliefs, these long-term messianic beliefs are not central to their religion and do not impact their allyship or activism in any meaningful way (think 1000s of years hence, like Jesus returning in Islam, or in Christianity outside of groups who think this is immanent/connected to modern Israel).
Additionally, most orthodox Jews, including ultra-orthodox Jews, are pro-Israel or at least are not pro-Palestine. Most “non-Zionist ultra orthodox Jews” including the Satmar do not support Palestine.
Note: This summary is about anti Zionist ultra Orthodox Jewish groups in the USA. I don't know about all such groups in Jerusalem, but I do know NK has a presence there. I am not arguing that NK are progressive. They are not, but neither are many others across the world who support Palestine. Read this post and make up your own mind.
This post does not go into great detail about all the different types of Judaism or all the different streams of Zionism. Some info will inevitably be left out. I recommend learning more history yourself; the first few chapters of The Hundred Year’s War on Palestine are a great start. Avoid Zionist publications like Jewish Virtual Library.
I highly recommend this interview that Palestinian-ally activist Miko Peled does with NK Rabbi David Feldman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSd_eZ5qcbo&t=32s
Miko is an excellent narrator, and this is one of his best yet.
Brief history of the NK
The Neturei Karta is an ultra-orthodox Jewish group that opposes the state of Israel and actively works against it and supports Palestine. This is different from non-Zionist ultra orthodox Jews who disagree with Israel from a religious perspective, but are still willing to support it politically. The NK believe only the Messiah can establish a Jewish state in Palestine (as an eschatological belief; not a political one), but they do not believe in an enforced Jewish majority at any time.
Their website, NKUSA.org is best accessed through the Wayback Machine, as many of their pages are currently under construction: https://web.archive.org/web/20090228203457/http://www.nkusa.org/aboutus/index.cfm
Instructions for those unfamiliar with the Wayback Machine: https://help.archive.org/help/using-the-wayback-machine/
Summary of NK beliefs re: Zionism
The Neturei Karta believe that no Jewish state should exist in Palestine without the coming of the Messiah. They believe this so strongly that they actively oppose the state’s existence and engage in Palestine solidarity work.
The Neturei Karta also argue that no ultra-orthodox Jew believes in religious Zionism, often citing the lack of Israeli flags in ultra orthodox neighborhoods. This neglects the many ultra-orthodox Jews who support Israeli politically but not religiously.
Such still-politically-Zionist Jews will refer to the state of Israel as “Eretz Yisroel” rather than “Israel” thus acknowledging the land but not the political state’s significance. They will engage in pro-Israel politics, but do not see the Nakba (1948) or Naksa (1967) as religious events. This does not mean that everyone who uses the phrase “eretz yisroel” is secretly a Zionist.
See Yated’s website: this is an ultra-orthodox publication that heavily supports Israel even if they do not believe the state is religiously legitimate. However, politically they are Zionist as in they support Israel.
Glossary
Orthodox Judaism
Orthodox Jews believe in the divine origin of the Torah, given to Moses at Sinai. They are more strict about dietary laws, laws of family purity, and laws of the sabbath than more liberal or progressive Jews (such as Conservative/Masorti, Reform, Reconstructionist, etc.--all beyond the scope of this post)
Ultra Orthodox/haredi (very broad strokes)
Orthodox Jews who believe in a strict interpretation of the Torah and are more insulated from the larger world, including the Jewish world. They often dress differently and are even stricter about dietary laws, and are more socially conservative than the Modern Orthodox (women often don’t attend synagogue, adhere to very strict rules of modesty, arranged marriages, etc.)
Within the ultra orthodox world, there are hasidic (charismatic, such as Satmar or Chabad, usually following a dynasty, often from Eastern Europe) and non-hasidic groups (everyone else, including haredi sephardim and the Neturei Karta.) The Neturei Karta are not hasidic.
Many ultra-orthodox groups, including the Neturei Karta, would be considered high-demand religious groups (cults). Given how strict they are, I don’t think this is an unfair characterization. I note this because liberal zionists use the NK’s religious stringencies as a means of discrediting their allyship to Palestine. Bad faith, but still worth noting.
Political Zionism:
This is the belief that Jews should establish a Jewish-majority state in Palestine. Popularized by Herzl’s Der Judenstaadt. Plenty of Zionists support Israel without it being a pillar of religious belief for them, but:
Religious Zionism:
This is the belief that the modern nation state of Israel is part of the fulfillment of religious prophecy (you find both Jews and Christians believing this). There are plenty of ultra-orthodox religious Zionists, although ultra-orthodox non-zionists/anti-zionists will claim that these groups should not call themselves “ultra-orthodox.”
Non-Zionist: 2 definitions in the Orthodox world
Ultra-orthodox Jews may describe themselves as not Zionist to other religious Jews to differentiate themselves from religious Zionists. They may still support Israel, just not as a part of their religious faith, or they may oppose it but not be pro-Palestine (see the Satmar Hasidim.) You will probably not run into this on Tumblr or in progressive/pro-Palestine spaces--please don’t use this as an excuse to make anti-Zionist Jews “prove themselves”--you won’t run into these people on Tumblr or at pro-Palestine actions. “Non-zionist” may mean “anti-zionist in all but name” in non-orthodox Jewish spaces.
When I speak about ultra-orthodox religious Jews describing themselves as not Zionist in religious Jewish spaces, this refers only to their interactions with other Jews. If you are not Jewish and someone describes themselves as anti-Zionist to you, you should assume it means they are pro-Palestine unless they make it clear they believe otherwise.
The Satmar (religiously but not politically anti zionist ultra-orthodox hasidic Jews) formally denounced the NK in 1967 (note: the NK were never Satmar, nor were they hasidic at all–this is simply a religiously antizionist sect distancing themselves from those who are both religiously and politically antizionist.)
https://x.com/HQSatmar/status/1744693660787040553
Some orthodox Jews are genuinely politically anti-Zionist. Examples include Rabbi Yaakov Shapiro, the Neturei Karta, and plenty of individuals although not many institutions.
More info on ultra-orthodox Jews and zionism at this Pew Research page (I don’t think Pew is great at surveying American Jews, but this particular page on haredim in Israel is interesting): https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2016/03/08/views-of-the-jewish-state-and-the-diaspora/
This article: https://forward.com/opinion/411615/think-all-orthodox-jews-are-zionists-think-again/
To any Jew, especially someone who knows the orthodox world, there are many over-simplifications here. The purpose of this post is to talk about the Neturei Karta, so I’m glossing over a lot of the intricacies. You’re welcome to fight about “Is Chabad Ultra-Orthodox” in the comments.
Issues of social conservatism (homophobia, misogyny, etc.)
Neturei Karta’s social conservatism
As with virtually all ultra-orthodox Jews, the Neturei Karta are extremely socially conservative. They believe that men and women have distinct roles (thus you never see any women with the NK at protests) and that homosexuality is evil. Women are required to raise children, cannot become rabbis, and have to dress extremely modestly. If you’ve ever seen the documentary “Trembling Before God,” a documentary on LGBT orthodox Jews, the rabbis at the beginning protesting against homosexuality are the Neturei Karta. Again, no women present.
I should note that the Neturei Karta are no more conservative than other ultra-orthodox Jews (and the Modern Orthodox Jewish world has been moving rightward for decades). But many liberal Jews will defend orthodox Judaism, even when it comes to denying children basic education and healthcare. You see this on Tumblr constantly. Orthodox Jews do terrible things and are defended by other Jews because “they’re more visible” and (some) Jews are convinced that any public criticism of orthodoxy will harm Judaism as a whole by making very damaging parts of it look bad.
But these liberal Zionist Jews will never defend the Neturei Karta. Their criticisms of homophobia and misogyny in this particular orthodox group are done in bad faith when they insist (for example) that women and LGBT people are perfectly fine within orthodox spaces. This is false.
TL;DR: Social conservatism is huge in orthodox Judaism. The Neturei Karta are not unique in this.
US Muslim social conservatism
I should note here that most US Muslims and Muslim institutions are socially conservative. (In a similar way to Jewish anti-zionism, there are some smaller openly pro-LGBT Muslim communities, but they are not supported by the larger US Muslim establishment.) Before the Bush era, most American Muslims and Arab Americans were staunch Republicans, supporting free markets and opposing LGBT rights, including LGBT-inclusive curricula in schools: https://newrepublic.com/article/168180/growing-religious-alliance-ban-lgbtq-books
To any liberals reading this in shock, here’s a post detailing how Palestinian American Imam Omar Suleiman is homophobic: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C1f7Do7gZei/
Many US and Canadian Muslim leaders can be found alongside conservative Christians protesting against LGBT education in schools, drag queen storytimes, and trans healthcare. Most recently, many Muslim leaders signed a homophobic/transphobic statement “Islam and the LGBT Question: Reframing the Narrative” earlier in 2023: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cs9lFR0AcG_/?igsh=bnJubGVodDAxczJz
This is similar to the Nashville Statement against homosexuality from many Christian leaders, or the Torah Declaration on Homosexuality in favor of conversion therapy from Jewish leaders. Muslims are not uniquely homophobic, but it’s important that progressives are aware of anti-LGBT prejudice in Jewish and Muslim communities in order to be good allies to queer Jews and Muslims. Omar Suleiman and the NK are not uniquely homophobic–they are emblematic of institutional prejudice within their respective religious communities. Homophobia/transphobia are not an excuse for genocide.
TL;DR for this section: Supporting Palestine does not make someone socially progressive.
Why aren't there more liberal Jewish anti Zionist rabbis speaking at pro Palestine rallies? Why give the microphone to the NK?
Many rallies do have anti Zionist progressive Jews speak. But they are usually lay people who do not represent Jewish religious groups. They may be independent, or from JVP or other similar groups (IJV Canada, etc), which will show up to pro Palestine actions even if they don't have a speaking slot. More notes on JVP here: https://bringmemyrocks.tumblr.com/post/736264435582238720/i-will-gladly-say-free-palestine-from-the-river-to
It's basically impossible to become a progressive Jewish rabbi as an anti-Zionist. All non-orthodox rabbinical schools that follow the traditional ordination process (5 years of education culminating with ordination, rather than an in-service further education program for those already serving as rabbis) require the candidate to be at least politically pro-Israel if not religious Zionist. All such programs require students to spend a year studying in Israel (generally in Jerusalem, although plenty of Orthodox institutions include a year of study in illegal settlements like Gush Etzion, Bat Ayin, etc.) If an anti-Zionist wants to become a rabbi outside of the NK or other ultra-orthodox institutions, they need to be willing to spend that year in Israel and hold their tongue re: Zionism until they are ordained. That's why so many liberal anti-Zionist rabbis have stories of leaving Zionism–they couldn't have been ordained if they'd left Zionism beforehand.
There are several synagogues in the USA that are friendly to anti-Zionist progressive Jews. However, these synagogues are not usually openly anti Zionist (with a few exceptions) and thus can/do still rely on mainstream Jewish sources of funding, whether individuals or their local JCRC (Jewish Community Relations Council). Synagogue councils can also threaten rabbis who speak out and can easily get them fired. Synagogue boards/councils/membership have the authority to fire the rabbi–the rabbi does not own the synagogue. I know several anti Zionist Jewish rabbis with largely anti-Zionist congregations who would still lose everything if they spoke at a pro Palestine rally. Rabbis in this position tend to speak at candlelight vigils rather than at rallies where people are chanting “intifada” (although their congregants often do!) A lot of it comes down to keeping the community in existence *or* letting the world know how anti Zionist they are.
Tzedek Chicago is the exception because of the amount of money they were able to raise–they still don't have their own building, and need to pay for spaces they use. Outside of a tiny pop-up minyan that can fit in someone’s house, saying of a community “this community should be willing to lose everything” isn't reasonable–they would have to shutter completely if they were 100% anti Zionist, not to mention the attacks the rabbis and congregants would get--Tzedek Chicago keeps its online services very secure to keep congregants safe.
Notes on Jewish eschatology and bad faith arguments:
With the exception of religious zionism (see people trying to build the third temple right now), Judaism as a religion is not overly concerned with eschatology (the end of the world). Jews may pray for the coming of the Messiah, but the religion itself is not overly concerned with the Messiah and the end times.
The Neturei Karta, as with many orthodox groups that don’t adhere to religious zionism, believe that when the Messiah comes, he will rebuild the Temple in Jerusalem. Some believe this to be on the same site as Al-Aqsa; some do not. The Neturei Karta believe that the land of Israel (biblically, eretz yisroel) will at some point become governed by Judaism with a third temple built, although they emphasize that Palestinians will stay in the land and everyone will live together peacefully. Again, this is eschatology. It’s not unusual for it to be vague, especially in the Jewish tradition, and nobody is preparing for it immediately.
I was actually inspired to make this post because someone posted this Vashti Magazine article "Neturei Karta are not your Allies" as a gotcha, even though the interview itself clearly shows that the Neturei Karta support Palestine even into their end-times prophecies…I’m not surprised most of the interview wasn’t published. If you look at what the rabbi said versus what the writer claims he said, it’s not even a bad interview. The writer herself notes that these prophecies are vague--I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt that she doesn’t know that much about religious Judaism. A lot of secular Jews are unfamiliar with those who believe in the Torah’s divine origins. This includes activists who support Palestine.
I regard this as a bad faith accusation because this has no bearing on current events. It is no different from Christians or Muslims who believe someday the entire world will be Christian/Muslim. I’m usually the last person to cry Christian-normativity, but plenty of religious people have end-times beliefs that have very little impact on their theology or their politics. This is not analogous to John Hagee the Christian Zionist with his end-times beliefs.
The Palestinian activists and allies I’ve spoken to about this agree with this. One was asked during a Q and A that I attended “what do you think about the Neturei Karta’s belief that in the end times the third temple will be rebuilt?” He responded “we’ll deal with that when the Jewish Messiah comes.” Because it’s an end-times prophecy that they believe they have no control over, not a political position that impacts their allyship. And anyone who isn’t a religious Jew doesn’t believe it will ever happen anyway.
It also bears mentioning that most people who bring up this particular point are themselves liberal Zionists trying to paint anti-Zionist orthodox Jews as actually worse allies to Palestinians than liberal Zionists because of vague beliefs they hold that will never crystalize (unless you are an orthodox Jew yourself). Vashti Magazine’s use of the phrase “Israel-Palestine” leads me to believe this is their motive as well. Thus my accusation of bad faith, particularly when the NK has shown up for Palestine protests for decades.
Accusations of Holocaust denial
The Neturei Karta has met with some less than Jew-friendly individuals throughout their history in the hopes that this will help curb worldwide antisemitism. This gets thrown around a lot by liberal zionists intent on making themselves look better. In 2006, some members of the Neturei Karta met with Iranian president Ahmedenijad. This meeting is often used to accuse them of Holocaust denial, even though the rabbi in question, Dovid Weiss, specifically named the Holocaust re: reasons he doesn’t support Israel.
"The Zionists use the Holocaust issue to their benefit. We, Jews who perished in the Holocaust, do not use it to advance our interests. We stress that there are hundreds of thousands Jews around the world who identify with our opposition to the Zionist ideology and who feel that Zionism is not Jewish, but a political agenda."
The same is true for their attendance at the International Conference to Review the Global Vision of the Holocaust; they strongly believe the Holocaust happened and made sure all attendees were aware. There were Holocaust deniers in attendance, but this conference was not a “Holocaust denial conference” although I’m not going to defend it. One could argue that these particular Neturei Karta members should not have attended such a conference, but they never engaged in Holocaust denial and actively fought against it. Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20070328235234/https://www.nkusa.org/activities/speeches/2006iran-weissspeech.cfm
If you’ve ever heard the Neturei Karta speak, you’d know they don’t deny the Holocaust. They bring it up constantly.
If you don’t like all of the Neturei Karta’s positions, that’s fine. This post is not supposed to make you like them, but rather to explain and contextualize things you may have heard about them.
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Fuck me while I sleep
Rick
Summary: Your stepdad takes you to bed and can't help the feeling of your body...
Pairing: StepDad!Rick x Fem!Brownskin!Reader
Word count: 1.1k
Warnings: This contains, Drinking, Sex while asleep, consensual, Horny Rick, Needy Reader, Creampie, P in V sex, Choking, Ass man Rick, age gap(Rick is Early 30's and reader is 19)
A/N: This is for @versatilehater and @sinsandsweetness. I know y'all will love this so Y'all enjoy and everyone else Enjoy!
You were at the usual Alexandria function party's where everyone celebrates and party.
You were one heavy party person. You constantly loved getting drunk and even though you were only 19 you just loved the stinging feeling of Bourbon, Whiskey or Vodka down your throat.
You also loved to make your stepdad mad. He always complained about how much you drank but your mom was okay with it because she got tired of telling you no.
You were dancing and jumping around to the music that was playing. The kids had there own place to party with a supervised adult and the Adults had there own house to party.
You as per usual, were in the Adults party place. You were dancing to a hispanic song with Rosita.
"Come on let's dance!" She yells over the music. As your swaying your hips you didn't know there were lingering eyes on your body.
Specifically your step dad's eyes. He was watching you shake your ass in that short, slutty dress.
'Why does she constantly do this?' He thought. You were drunk out of your mind and you looked like you were about to fall.
"I'm gonna get another drink!" You yell to Rosita. She shakes her head and goes to dance with Abraham.
You walk past Rick but he grabs your arm. "Babygirl..." He starts before you cut him off.
"Mom's fine with it, so leave me be. I love that you care but i'm fine." You say but Rick's not having it.
"I'm taking you my house. Your going to change and go to sleep." Rick states sternly.
"What! I'm sorry, I can't hear you!" You yell with a smirk. He rolls his eyes.
"i said, if you don't come home, i'll throw you over my shoulder and carry you home, And if you don't comply, I'll drag you outta here myself." His raspy southern drawl coming out low and seductive in your ear.
It makes you wanna squeeze your legs together. You gulp, and put the cup down.
"Fine." You say slowly walking out of the door. Rick takes your arm and wraps his arm around your waist.
You instantly feel butterflies in your stomach as he does that. Once you both arrive at his house he places you on his bed and walks to go start a shower for you.
"I have some sweatpants and a t-shirt for you babygirl. Then take a shower and you can change into that." He says. You nod and smile whispering a Thank you.
He watches you walk to the bathroom and not close the door all the way on purpose.
You slowly slide off the dress because you know he's watching. He looks at the curve of your hips and your plump ass.
You step into the shower and let it run down your body. He catches a slight glimpse of your breasts and how your kinky curls fall down your beautiful brown skin.
He feels the tent growing in his pants. Thinking about how your breasts would feel like in his hands. How you would moan with your nipples in his mouth.
Your pussy lips wrapped around him. How you would clench around him when he played with your clit.
He thought about you everyday. All the time. He knew it was wrong because he was your step dad. But that didn't matter to him anymore.
You finally get out the shower and see your Step dad still sitting on the bed.
You sit on his lap and play with his hair. "Everything ok daddy?" You say innocently with a devilish smirk on your face.
He grips your hips and looks at you with gkossy eyes.
"Go to bed. You drunk. Drink some water, i'll leave a trash can near the bed just incase."
"You always know how to take care of me." you say smiling drunkly. You finally give up and lay down letting the silence over take you.
"Good night." You say sweetly. He smiles and kisses your head. "Good night baby." He responds.
He hears you snoring lightly and finally gets up to leave but when he makes it to the door, something stops him dead in his tracks.
Why isn't he leaving? He turns back around to look at you and he realizes you never put the sweats on. Just the shirt.
He stares at your body not being covered with the blanket. He closes and locks the door staying inside the bedroom with you.
He unbuckles the belt to his dress pants and makes his wauy over to you.
'No one has to know right?' he thought. It will be for a quick second.
He runs his hand up and down your body. He lays down next to you and positions his body side ways so he's laying on his side.
He lifts your leg up slightly and begins to slide his cock inside your tight wet pussy.
You must have been thinking about him if your this wet. He slowly. starts thrusting inside you.
You squirm and let out a moan. Your body erks to the feeling butt you don't wake up.
He can't hold back anylonger and starts thrusting into you at a faster pace awakening you from your sleep.
You hold onto him and cry out. Rick is so lost in your pussy that he doesn't notice your awake yet.
"Fuck Rick! Yes!" You moan. He finally registers that your awake and he smirks.
He flips you over so you're on all fours. He thrusts into you deep and hard giving your ass a few smacks.
"nghh- Fuck Daddy! Give it to me please!" You cry out. Your legs are shaking and your hands are. gripping so hard at the sheets.
He chokes you and brings you closer so your back is on his chest as he thrusts deeper into you.
"You want it baby? Say you want it, beg babygirl." He grunts.
"I want it Rick! Fuck please, give it- nghh- give it to me please!" You cry out, wanting his cum so badly.
He smirks kissing all over your neck leaving hickeys on your collarbone.
His thrusts become sloppy and his grunts become moans and whimpers.
"Oh fuck, shit!" He moans out. He fucks you faster your pussy throbbing as his cock abuses your pussy.
His fingers twiddle with your clit and you lose it. Your orgasm approaches and you squirt all over his cock.
At the same time, Rick cums deep inside you coating your walls white. When he pulls out your lewd fluids mix together creating a pornographic mess.
Your still a little dizzy and dazed from sleep and you end up drifting in and out of consciousness.
He picks you up and places you in his room from across the hall. He changes the bed sheets and cleans you and himself up. He finishes putting the last of the sheets in the washing machine and goes back upstairs to you.
Your dressed again and already asleep again. H e crawls in bed with you and falls asleep as well.
No one has to know. Besides it definitely won't happen again, right?
Taglist: @versatilehater @carlsdarling @murdadixon @sinsandsweetness @grixonsdoll @knochentrocken0808 @catt-leya
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Why do you spell Abraham with v? Is it a hebrew way to spell it? I'm not a native english (nor hebrew) speaker so I'm used to seeing names spelled either in my mother tongue or in the 'standard' english way
Yes, in Hebrew it is pronounced "Avraham." It was anglicized to Abraham by Christians.
Other common names Jewish names that were anglicized and how they're actually pronounced:
['ch' is pronounced like the 'ch' in Challah]
Eve- Chava (Cha-vah)
Noah- Noach (No-ach)
Isaac - Yitzchak (Yitz-chak)
Rebecca- Rivka (Riv-kah)
Jacob- Yaakov (Yah-ah-kove)
Rachel (Rah-chel)
Judah- Yehudah (Yeh-hoo-dah)
Josef- Yosef (Yo-sef)
Moses- Moshe (Mo-sheh)
Aaron- Aharon (Ah-hah-rone)
Jethro- Yitro (Yit-roe)
Joshua- Yehoshua (Yeh-hoe-shoo-ah)
Samson- Shimshon (Sheem-shone)
Elijah- Eliyahu (Eh-lee-yah-hoo)
Samuel- Shmuel (Shmoo-el)
Saul- Shaul (Shah-ool)
David (Dah-veed)
Abigail- Avigayil (Ah-vee-gah-eel)
Solomon- Shlomo (Shloe-moe)
Gabriel- Gavriel (Gav-ree-el)
Michael (Mee-chah-el)
Usually when Hebrew names are anglicized, the "v" sound is changed to a "b" sound, the "y" sound is changed to a "j" sound (there's actually no "j" sound in Hebrew), the "t" sound is changed to a "th" sound, and the "ch" sound is chanced to either "h" or "ch" as in "chocolate". And sometimes there's even more weird shit done to the word or name like in "Solomon".
I don't like to write Hebrew names in their anglicized way because I don't want Jewish words and language to be suppressed. The only time I'll write things in their anglicized way is if I'm explaining myself to people who don't know.
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Put a song for every letter in your url and tag the amount of people in your url !
tagged by @partlysunny15, thank you!!!
h - hope, nf
i - i've seen too much, andrew peterson
d - dying on the inside, nessa barrett
d - daniel in the den, bastille
e - euology, christabelle marbun
n - northern altitude, noah kahn
v - vanilla baby, billie marten
i - indigo, matt wheeler and the vintage hearts
o- older, gracie abrahams
l - last man standing, livingston
e - everybody wants to rule the world, the arcadian wild or lorde
t - the night we met, lord huron
s - someday (regrow), gable prince and friends
g - gorgeous, taylor swift
r - royalty, neoni
o - off-chance, chloe ament
w - ruin my weekend, jordan davis
(i have way too many people to tag so I'm just picking some people and anyone can join in obv)
@fourwingedsnake @four-rabbits-in-a-trenchcoat @brb-on-a-quest @igotthisaccountunderduress @happygoosebird @ladyartichokie
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Starring Role - ACT VI (C.S; S.MG)
title; getting a little sidetracked, catching little feelings, thought we had arrangements
summary:
We’ve all read about the infamous player who falls in love with the good girl that manages to make him change his ways…but what happens to the other girl? The pretty, popular one that has warmed his bed before the good girl came along and took him away.
Well, no one cares about her. After all, she’s just a side character.
It almost feels like a joke to play a part, when you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart.
pairing: choi san x reader, song mingi x reader (for now lol)
warnings: smut!!, mentions of drug abuse
wc: 11k
taglist: @joonsthethicc @marievllr-abg @cookiechristie @purenjuniverse @littleparkseonghwa @hwasong @hwadump @hongshines @kitty4hwa @knisterlicht @flamingi @revehosh @gayliljoong @naiify @btshook @atzcoke @circusjanreblogs @baguette-atiny @kpopnightingale @xosim @raineadlr @ilikepalta @m4rsluv @gojocatt @smimingi @bubbleteakittyy @mingkiyoo @theactresstarringinurbadreams @mangishii @cryingaboutskz @y2ksturniolo @layzfeelit @khjssss @hwazzling @rdiamond2727 @adajoemaya @outrologist @smuchsmut @flaminghotcheetoos @dogsongy @seesaw-jk @seojonneh
buy me a coffee!
act v / masterlist / act vii
A/N: ❀ for smut!!
"A mighty pain to love it is,
And 't is a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain."
― Abraham Cowley, The Poems of Abraham Cowley
"-variable and it's a variable created with the solely purpose of making your code more readable-"
Mingi is talking.
It seems important as well. Which is why it's such a shame that you're not paying attention to a word that leaves his lips.
Pretty, plump lips. Pretty, plump lips that keep moving and your eyes can't help but stray towards them.
He's sitting so, so close. The left side of his chest completely pressed up against your shoulder as he leans over to you, one arm draped over the back of your chair while the other is pointing to your laptop screen.
You're so close that you could lean over and place a kiss over the mole on his cheek.
Also, he's wearing his glasses today.
The thin, black and square-shaped frames perched up at the bridge of his nose were making your life extremely difficult.
Just when you thought Song Mingi couldn't possibly get any more attractive, he had to go and remind you that he wears glasses.
A gentle tug on your ponytail makes you gasp faintly as Mingi nudges your chin so you're facing your screen again.
You can hear the smile in his voice. "Pay attention."
Oh and that voice. Deep, husky and somewhat cocky. You need him.
Your eyes turn to the screen again and he keeps talking but you tune it out quickly, your eyes once again fleeing the screen and observing him as inconspicuously as possible.
Your eyes trace his lips that he wets with his tongue and a shiver runs up your spine at the action. So focused on his lips, when they stretch into a smile, your eyes meet his.
He's looking at you with a slight blush on his cheek but by the smile on his face- he's amused.
Mingi's big hand reaches down and intertwines with yours. He moves his chair back so he can stand up.
"Come with me for a second." He says with a faint grin as his eyes dance from your eyes to your lips, gently tugging for you to follow and you do with parted lips and wide eyes.
You don't even care where you're going but the way you're heading towards the staircase which leads to the upper floors of the library, excitement and neediness starts pulsing through you.
You're on the third floor. The third, very empty floor.
Mingi pulls you through rows of books and leads you to the complete back of the big upper room where you're surrounded by filled shelves in the back corner.
"What are we doin-" Your question is muffled by his lips pressing on yours as he backs you up against the books and a soft groan of appreciation escapes you.
Your hands drag up his back before wrapping around the back of his neck as you quickly lift your leg up and hook it around his waist to press him closer.
He chuckles huskily, "Needy."
"Yes." You pant without shame before meshing your lips together again and he smiles against you but alas, let's you do whatever you want.
You quite like that actually. He knows you're a brat but he doesn't seem to mind.
His hand tugs at your ponytail before he wraps it around his fist and tugs gently again and your head knocks back as his lips trail your neck. You sigh loudly at that.
Mingi is so good.
He's so wonderful. And, oh God, he's about to make you come in a library.
Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. Although you're convinced if the interruption happened only three minutes after, she would've caught you amidst an orgasm.
Your bite his lower lip gently and he grunts before kissing you with even more urge, his hands travelling up and down your body as-
"Oh-" You and Mingi jump at the surprised voice and you immediately push him away to fix your clothes as he clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair that you messed up.
You both turn to a girl that seemed younger than both of you, probably a freshman, who instead of leaving like anyone would in a situation like this- is staring at you both with red cheeks.
Well, she's not staring at you.
She's staring at the 6'1 piece of fine nerdy ass next to you and you wouldn't even blame her if she wasn't looking at Mingi like he just ripped out her heart. Oh brother, she's one of the groupies Minjeong has told you about.
Mingi himself seems a little weirded out by the staring so, as always, you have to take matters into your own hands (you would've done it regardless).
"Can we fucking help you?" You ask loudly and the girl jumps before scurrying away with a muttered apology and almost on the verge of tears.
"Y/N!" Mingi whisper-shouts but he has a smile pulling on his lips. "That was rude."
"What? She was staring!" You explain with a huff before you continue with a faint smirk, "Probably one of your fangirls who's illusion of sweet, caring little Mingi just got shattered if he's making out with the likes of me."
"You're being mean." Mingi but he doesn't even seem to mean it because he's holding back a laugh. You smile back, knocking his shoulder with yours.
"You like it this time." You respond and he shakes his head in amusement before pulling you to him by the back of your neck and pressing his lips against yours again.
You cut the kissing off before it escalates this time. "Hongjoong will be here soon, we have to go."
He groans, "Fucking Hongjoong."
Hongjoong arrives early today though, in fact he is sitting with his arms crossed over his chest and a stony expression on his face when you both reach your table.
You and Mingi share a look as you weasel into your chairs across the table, clothes rumpled, lipstick smudged and hair messy and try to act as normal as possible despite the state he caught you in.
"Hey, Joo-"
"You guys just fucked." He states simply, eyes darting left and right as both you and Mingi splutter for answers.
"Of course, no-
"I'd never have sex in a library-"
Mingi gives you a dirty look and you shrug in response.
"But you're gonna fuck somewhere else, right?" Hongjoong asks, growing red in the face, "You're gonna fuck eventually. Just like you've fucked at my party all those months ago because you guys fuck! You're fucking!"
"Okay, can we please stop saying the word fuck?" Mingi asks calmly with cheeks tinted red. You nod in agreement, avoiding looking up.
Hongjoong's head looks like its about to pop off.
"So let me get this straight..." Hongjoong starts, leaning closer to the two of you. "You guys...see each other naked. Often."
Mingi and you remain silent.
"Was the party the first time?"
"Yes." Both Mingi and you respond and the oldest boy pursues his lips.
"And what? Are you guys dating now?" You glance towards Mingi at the question feeling a blush crawl up your neck, he's quiet as he stares at Hongjoong.
"We, uh..." You open your mouth.
"We're not." Mingi interrupts firmly. Right. You're not dating. Right.
"So...you guys are hooking up?" Hongjoong looks positively disgusted before it seems like a thought crosses his mind which makes his face pale, "Did you ever fuck while I was in the house?"
"No!"
"No, we'd wait for you to leave."
"Y/N!"
"What?" You turn to Mingi's chastising expression, "It's the truth!"
Hongjoong puts his acting into good use, emulating a perfect performance of pretending to throw up. "I feel dirty."
"Don't be so dramatic." You roll your eyes.
"Easy for you to say! You didn't just find out that while I was innocently spending time with my family or breaking my back studying, my two good friends were banging in my house!"
You and Mingi remain silent, glancing at each other occasionally to hide the smiles.
"Okay, see! None of that!" Hongjoong waves his pointer finger at you both.
"What?" You innocently let out and he scoffs.
"Stop making those...eyes at each other in front of me!" He snaps before continuing with his rant. "Seriously?! Is everyone having sex besides me around here?"
The answer is most definitely a 'yes', at least from you.
The moment you all pack up your books, you drive home with Mingi sitting in the passenger seat with his hands relentlessly trailing up your skirt as he seemed to not worry at all about causing a potential car crash.
Your house is empty once again, safe for the staff who have by now learned to stay clear of the second floor of your home once they see Mingi walk through the door.
Because they're very well aware what ensues after you both disappear in your bedroom.
❀
You giggle as Mingi stumbles over your coat which was thrown onto the floor as you both fall into your bed, he ignores your snickers and presses his lips back to yours with his tongue immediately slipping in your mouth as you moan in response.
His hands are everywhere and it's something you've grown accustomed to but his touches are especially firm today, kneading the skin of your thighs and ass as he wraps your legs around his slim waist.
Mingi drags his lips across your neck in slow, hot kisses that make heat pool in the bottom of your belly as he grinds into you with whines escaping his mouth along with your gasps. You chuckle, faintly surprised by his own neediness since usually it was you who was the one to lose control of their actions during sex.
"What has gotten into you?" You chuckle breathlessly as he licks down the valley of your breasts, one hand on the back of your neck while the other was still gripping your thigh.
He sits up and swiftly pulls off his hoodie, throwing it to the floor and your eyes glaze over his torso as your hand immediately heads for the button of his jeans.
"I-...I just.." He pulls you in another sloppy kiss before pulling off your sweater and bra, "I just need you. N-need you so bad."
Your brows raise in faint surprise, never hearing him sound so desperate before as he rids you of your skirt and underwear. Your nails dig into his naked back as something very new but very exciting wakes up in you.
You grin and flip you two over so you're straddling him for once, swallowing his low groans as you continue to kiss him. You latch your teeth on the soft flesh of his neck, just under his ear, and say, "Do you want me like this, Mingi?"
You have no idea where that came from.
You feel him nod, but you want more of a reaction out of him. You begin to slowly grind your hips on him. "Yeah? You like when I'm on top of you, baby?"
Mingi lets out a quiet whimper, sending shocks of arousal straight down to your already throbbing core. You've never heard him make a sound like that before, and you're determined to hear it again. You grind down even harder, and bring one of your hands down into his unbuttoned pants to start palming him through his boxers.
"You like how good I make you feel?"
"Yes– fucking, yes," He moans against your lips.
You use your free hand to lift his chin up slightly and once again press your mouth to his throat, gently biting to leave a mark. "I love how you're all mine. You're all mine and no one else can have you."
He grabs your hips to guide your movements before saying, "All fucking yours, baby."
Those words almost make you go feral.
"Good boy," You whisper, eyes dark. You honestly didn't know where this was coming from, but all you knew was that you both liked it. A lot.
You lift your head up from his neck and begin to make your way down to where your hand was touching him as you kiss down his chest and stomach. He raises his hips helping you pull down his jeans and boxers down to his knees, before licking the precum and taking him into your mouth.
He's breathing so hard, all the while letting out low groans, trying to keep quiet. His hand grabs a hold of your ponytail, twisting it so your hair is once again wrapped around his fist and squeezes his eyes shut. "So fucking good."
You felt pride swell in your chest hearing him groan, the grip on your hair tightening once before relaxing again and giving you the rest of the control. You gladly took it.
"You're amazing, Y/N," Mingi moaned and bucked his hips once before settling down.
You hum and grip Mingi's thighs causing him to moan again. You slowly eased down, taking more in your mouth and letting your throat relax. Mingi let out a throaty moan but he kept still and you were grateful for that. You bobbed your head slowly, barely sheathing half of Mingi's length in your mouth, insistent on keeping the weight pressing on your tongue.
"Fuck, Y/N... shit, that's so hot," Mingi praised, face scrunching up and mouth dropping open in pleasure as he continued to play with your hair. "Shit, it's so wet."
You grunted and sucked, nearly choking when Mingi's hip moved and pressed deeper in your mouth. You can feel Mingi trying to pull away but you tighten your grip on the his thighs and pressed yourself closer to him. You can hear his moans and groans, desperate to fuck your mouth but keeping his promise of letting you take the reign.
After a while of sucking him off, you feel him getting closer. So, you stop and get back on top of him. He's about to open his mouth in protest but you shut him up by saying, "You want me to fuck you?"
He nods frantically.
You bite your lip, hiding your grin. "Say it."
His tongue swipes over his bottom lip, swallowing hard. "Fuck me, Y/N. I want to feel you around me."
Jesus.
You lower yourself onto him, a low gasp escaping you once he's completely sheathed inside of you and start grinding your hips like before, this time connected as one. He's gripping your hips so hard that you're sure you'll have bruises from his fingertips in the morning, but you couldn't be happier with that.
Your hands reach up to grab at your breasts, strands of hair falling out of your ponytail from Mingi's tugging. "You feel so good, Mingi." You let out breathy moans, trying to limit the volume you project out as the headboard lightly taps back and forth against the wall.
As your motions become more sloppy, Mingi throws his head back and closes his eyes, "Yes, fuck, yes. Fuck me just like that." His words make the coil in the pit of your stomach tighten.
Mingi removes one of his hands from your hip and brings it down to the center of your spread out legs, using his thumb to rub circles on your clit, causing you to place your hands on his thighs behind you and lean back to bounce even harder. You let out a loud, involuntary moan and he shudders beneath you.
The building pressure eventually gets so intense that your vision starts to cloud over with your eyes rolling back. You force yourself to lean forward over him, chest hovering above his face, and say, "I want you to come with me."
He opens his eyes and looks at you through his lashes, brows furrowed in pleasure. You place one hand just above his chest and below his neck, allowing you leverage to press harder down into him, filling you all up.
His mouth slightly opens, jaw hanging lax. "Oh, fuck."
His features contort into an influx of pleasure and you feel your stomach begin to tighten.
The building pressure eventually locks into place, and your back freezes as you try to keep your hips moving. You let out a loud cry of his name. His thumb movements become wider and messier as you notice his groans come to halt and warmth fills you up. Near the end of your high, he wraps his arms around your back and presses you tightly against him, gripping your ass for support.
You manage to press a wet kiss against his mouth, feeling your walls clench around his throbbing dick, and you melt into each other.
❀
Once you can finally breathe again, you roll off him, both of you panting for air. You both catch your breath for a few more seconds, then you turn to look at Mingi. A stupid grin breaks out of both of your faces and you two laugh, breathlessly. "That was fun."
Then, he surprises you by rolling on top of you and pressing his face into your chest, eyes fluttering shut as he wraps his arms around your waist. "Yeah..."
Your own eyes fall shut as your hand mindlessly cards through his hair as you both bask in the post-orgasm daze. Mingi stiffens in your hold.
His head picks up, eyes wide and panicked, "We didn't use a condom."
"I'm on the pill." You assure him but he still keeps staring, "I'm not with anyone else but you either."
Mingi rests his lips on your chest, puppy eyes peering up at you. "Me neither."
You give him a lazy smile, eyes fluttering shut again as you get comfortable against your pillow. You can feel him tracing his finger over your collarbone before he clears his throat again.
"Uh," You open your eyes to find him staring at your chest, a blush coating his cheeks, "Could we, uh, do it like that again...sometime?"
You try to stifle a giggle at the shy expression on his face which you find endlessly endearing and just nod with a smile, "Yeah, definitely."
Mingi quickly glances up at you before looking away again, lowering his head to your chest again. His cheeks are burning red now but you can feel him smile against your skin.
As you both lay cuddled up to each other, you eventually fall asleep.
"What are your plans after college?"
Mingi's sudden question surprises you and you blink at the white ceiling of your bedroom. It was a couple of minutes since you both woke up from the unplanned nap and your hair was out of the ponytail and fanning out across the pillows as you both lie next to each other with elbows brushing.
"Dunno..." You shrug, "I haven't been thinking about it much honestly. I still have two years to go, three if I decide to do a master's degree which I probably will and it's scary thinking about it."
"I know." He chuckles next to you on the bed, sheets covering everything past his hips. "That's why I'm asking. I decided to do my master's here but I'm scared of what will come afterwards."
"Well, if everything works out the way you're hoping it would," You turn to him, "How do you imagine your future to look like?"
He gives a long sigh at that, observing the ceiling in thought.
"I want to work in an IT company that pays me well but I don't have to do overtime. Ever. I just want a 9 to 5 and free weekends and a bunch of off days during the holidays that are paid." Mingi chuckles, "It already sounds unrealistic. I want to still have time to hang out with my friends and explore other interests... college drained me."
You frown at that but somehow understand what he means.
"I'm only twenty two but I'm just so tired...of everything. And I don't have any hobbies or anything because I either spend my time studying or sleeping and even hanging out with friends makes me feel guilty because I feel like I'm supposed to spend every second of my time wisely." He keeps murmuring and you stay quiet by his side, not knowing what to say, "But I have to. My parents pay a lot for me to be here every year, so I have to finish it as quickly as possible and get a job so I can get off their backs."
"Do your parents...pressure you with your studies?" You ask carefully, not wanting to offend him or overstep.
"No." Mingi scoffs with scrunched brows, "They're always happy to help but...you know, I feel like a burden no matter how many times they say they don't mind paying for my college because they want me to get a degree."
He says 'you know' but you don't know. You have no idea what that's like because you never worried about it before. It makes you feel extremely ungrateful.
"Well, you're almost there." You comfort him with a soft smile as his eyes roam your face, "You can start working part-time next year, maybe it will ease up the burden you feel. Lots of companies hire students without master degrees because they want employees secured. It would be tough, juggling a job and your studies but you'll have a job once you're out of college."
Mingi nods, "Yeah, that's my plan."
You turn your gaze back to the ceiling.
"What about you?"
"Huh?"
"How does your future look like?" He asks and you chuckle, a little bit bitter.
"Well, if I fuck up with the art somehow, I'll probably still be living with my parents and I'll get married to a guy they choose for me." You say solemnly before your eyes flutter shut, stomach churning just at the idea of that life.
"Rich people really do that?" Mingi looks half surprised and half disturbed.
"What? Arrange marriages?" You ask and he nods so innocently looking that it makes you chuckle.
"My parents are trying to arrange a marriage between Wooyoung and I." You finish with a small laugh, the idea looking so ridiculous. You and Wooyoung? Married?
"Wooyoung?!" He questions with eyes raised so high that they almost disappear in his hair. "Your Wooyoung?!"
"Yeah."
"Did you and Wooyoung ever...hook up or something?”
“Pft, no way.” You snort, “We grew up together, hated each other half of our lives, there was always some sort of competitive streak between us. But we became close friends as of recently. Don’t ask, I don’t know how it happened either. I guess we both just grew up a little.”
He nods and you both stare at each other for a second.
"Okay, but that's your future if you fuck up." Mingi starts again after a brief moment of silence, "How does it look like if everything works out perfectly?"
You turn to lay on your side, pulling the sheets up your naked body as you position your hand under your head.
"It looks..." You take a second to think, "It looks like a nice apartment with big windows and a balcony where I can drink my morning coffee during the summer."
He raises his eyebrows again, "That's it?"
You nod.
"In Seoul?"
"Yeah, but not in the center of Seoul because it's too loud and the traffic is horrible." You explain and he turns to lay on his side as well, carefully listening to you. "It's somewhere quieter but still close to the center so I can go there whenever I want."
"So somewhere like Seongbuk-dong." Mingi suggests and you raise your eyebrows happily at the ideal.
"Yeah." You nod, "That would be perfect even though the public transport is kinda shit but it's okay, I have a car anyway."
"And the apartment would have an extra room which I would make as my little art space where I can draw and paint. And I would have a couple of plants that I'd have to care for and it would just look...lived in, you know?" You stare around your room, the wall color that your mother picked out, the vanity that your father had made specifically for you, the curtains the interior designer said suited the space.
Everything in your room picked out carefully by everyone but you.
"I'd have stickers and magnets on the fridge, my mom hates those. And Wooyoung could teach me how to cook so I'd have all those cute shelves for spices and ingredients. And the living room would have one of those colorful rugs and I'd have photos hung up everywhere."
"Would you have your drawings displayed as well?" Mingi asks and you shake your head quickly.
"I don't think so. Maybe I'd have someone else's art displayed though." You respond, "I'd have mismatched cushions on the couch and a blanket for when it gets cold and bookshelves in one corner where I'd place a little bit of everything. Books, records, CDs, photos...every other stupid decoration that I'd buy and didn't know where to place...Yeah, stuff like that."
"That sounds nice." He murmurs and you smile tiredly, the thought of that apartment seemed so far away that it looked even more unrealistic than Mingi's 9 to 5 with free weekends and paid holidays.
"Ugh, whatever." Mingi grunts after another minute of silence and he wraps his arms around you pulling you closer to his chest so his chin can rest on the top of your head. "No more adult talk."
You laugh, cursing yourself by the blush rising on your cheeks at the display of affection as you make yourself comfortable against him. You feel him nosing at your hair before inhaling.
You lift your head up to look at him. "Did you just sniff me?"
His mouth opens and closes a couple of times as he stares back at you before rolling your eyes when he sees a smile tugging at your lips. "Don't make it weird! Your hair smells nice."
Then he goes to bury his face in your hair again. "I might sound crazy but it smells the same way your lips do."
You giggle, red as a cherry as you swat him away. "It's cocoa butter. My favorite."
Mingi hums before muttering to himself; "Cocoa butter."
After Mingi leaves, you take a long hot shower and dress in your softest pair of joggers and a sweater before sitting down behind your work desk and pulling up your laptop from your bag.
Valentine's Day was approaching and with the turn of recent events, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to ask Mingi out.
You've been cowering away from the thought of a date for long enough and finally decided to bite the bullet. You will ask a boy out on a date.
Mingi is amazing and a date with him sounded lovely.
You don't exactly know what you should expect from the date, you'd just like to go on one.
You had two boyfriends in total; one used to sell you cocaine and little pills and the other was Yeonjun - who was more of an annoying nuisance that you were forced to spend time with and whose company you only enjoyed when he'd bury his head between your thighs.
He was the only one you ever went on dates with. But you don't really count them as dates, they were more like business meetings and more for the sake of other people seeing you together than the two of you seeing each other.
San never even bothered but why the fuck would he? He wasn't your boyfriend, he probably takes Boyoung on plenty of fun dates even though it's hard for you to even imagine it.
"What do people do on dates..." You mumble to yourself leaning back on your chair and look around your room, thinking of what the two of you could do.
All Mingi and you had done so far was have sex, eat, study together and watch movies. Besides that you really don't know any of his interests.
Just a dinner sounded lame...
You search up all Seoul cinema sites to check what they're showcasing on Valentine's. If you and Mingi watched movies often, then maybe a movie would be a good idea...make this less awkward if it ever came to that.
With a huff, you scroll down the list but your shoulders only deflate the more you scroll because nothing seems to be good enough until...
You gasp dramatically as you sit up and lean closer to the screen.
'Your name' was a movie Mingi mentioned several times during the time you two hung out but you never got around to watching it and now, it was supposed to have a showcase on the 15th of February in a small gallery in the city. A day after Valentine's.
What are the chances, you think giddily, it didn't matter if it wasn't on Valentine's Day specifically - it could still be for Valentine's Day.
Meet and Greet with the author after - VIP Tickets
You gasp again, already knowing that this is it.
This is the date. You reach for your wallet to take your credit card out, a smile already pulling on your lips.
Mingi will be so happy.
Two days later, is the day you decide to put on your big girl pants (or in your case - skirt) on and ask him.
You spend an embarrassing amount of time on the way you look that morning. You always look good- you’re aware but today, you needed to look extra good.
So you do your make-up a bit more carefully, making sure your eyeliner is even and your shadow is blended perfectly before picking out a lipstick that you think compliments your features best.
You decide on a vintage knitted Chanel two piece which is fancy but still casual enough for school. The soft skirt and cropped sweater cling to your curves and you smile happily before pulling on your white knee high boots and coat and you sincerely hope that Mingi will be as excited as you.
Mingi was, in fact, not excited.
You flip your carefully curled hair over your shoulder and fix your outfit before straightening your posture when you see Mingi coming out of the auditorium.
"Hi!" You say with a bright smile and it only slightly falters when Mingi's brows furrow. He seems disheveled.
"Hey." He greets simply, beginning to walk past you, "Look, I can't make it to the library today-"
"It's okay! I just need to talk to you real quick!" He sighs and you notice how he does it as if you're a burden but you don't let it dim your smile because he stops in front of you.
"What is it, Y/N? Hurry up." He says quietly, very serious.
You gulp nervously, wiping your clammy hands on the back of your skirt. Mingi impatiently taps his foot.
"Y/N, I don't have time today for your stupid shit, just-"
"Okay. Okay!" You interrupt with a nervous giggle, trying very hard not to get upset at the 'stupid shit' part. "I was thinking that, well, Valentine's Day is coming up and, uh, I thought that you and I could, well..."
You were so nervous. You've never asked anyone out before.
"You and I could what?" The change in his tone and the way he looks at you incredulously makes the smile melt from you face.
You blink, even more nervous now. You're scared.
Somewhere in the starry Wonderland sky, Mingi is forcing you to inch closer to the edge of the rug.
"We could..." You stutter out before continuing in a mere whisper, "Go on a date."
Mingi's eyes bug out as if he heard you wrong.
"You and me. On a date?" He repeats, as if even the idea of it was the stupidest thing he has heard all day. "Are you out of your mind?"
Ouch.
"H-huh?" You squeak out but all he does is keep staring. "What do you mean?"
Mingi closes his eyes, head falling slightly as he takes a deep breath and you feel your heart squeeze painfully in your chest.
"I can't go on a date with you, Y/N. I can't date you." He says slowly but with some frustration to it, and the way he speaks to you as if you were dumb almost makes tears line your lower lash line.
Song Mingi...rejected you?
"I don't understand. Why c-couldn't you? You don't like me?"
"Whether I like you or not isn't fucking important right now. You think I could just go on a date with the girl that humiliated my best friend in front of the entire cafeteria? Not even a day after she got heartbroken by the same guy you humiliated her for, no less? I'm going to see her right now because she didn't leave her dorm for the past three days." He mumbles seriously with a huff, cheeks red from anger and you feel like this scene of you asking him out was the greatest inconvenience he experienced today.
Then his words registered and without thinking...
"San and Boyoung broke up?" You swear that you ask out of genuine curiosity and surprise.
Mingi doesn't take it that way though.
His shoulders drop and he shakes his head at you in disbelief. "Are you serious right now?"
"What?"
"You're still in love with him." He accuses almost dejectedly.
"What are you talking about, Mingi? I don't understand why you're acting like this." You roll your eyes, grateful that you're in an empty hallway right now because you feel like a screaming match will ensue. "What does San have to do with any of this? I'm asking you out on a date!"
You couldn’t even manage to wrap your head around all the new information you were receiving because Song Mingi was in the process of rejecting you.
"I'm not going on a fucking date with you!" He snaps and your jaw drops slightly in hurt.
"Why not?!"
"San and Boyoung just broke up!" You look at him like he was the crazy one.
"So what? What do they have to do with us?" You ask in genuine confusion because you had no idea why he was so angry.
"What do they have to do-" He chuckles humorlessly before muttering, "You're so fucking selfish."
"What?" You whisper and he picks up his head to look at you, disdain clear in his eyes.
"You're selfish! My best friend is hurt because of that asshole and she needs me now! She can't see me going on stupid dates with the girl she hates!" His jaw is clenched and eyes angry.
Boyoung. It's always about Boyoung.
"What about me?" You ask in a small voice. Did you not matter to him at all? Not even a little bit? "How did you think this was going to end?"
"See! You. You. You. It always has to be about you!" Mingi rants and your face pinches in an expression of a newly brewing anger.
"That's not true." You throw back, voice stronger.
"Yes, it is!" He laughs breathlessly as if he can't take your words seriously at all. "Boyoung is my best friend! I'm supposed to stick by her side no matter what. How do you think she'd feel if she found out I'm dating you?"
It's not in your nature to take anyone's bullshit without biting back at least a little bit.
"You didn't seem to think about her precious little feelings when you were fucking me for the past three months." You throw back, a fake but condescending smirk crawling on your face and hiding the fact that you were close to choking.
"So you thought me jumping in your bed and taking interest in your pretentious art would be enough to trap me into dating you?" But you don't expect Song Mingi to be capable of being this mean...
"Trap you?" You whisper, brows furrowed and eyes already filled with tears. "You think I'm trying to trap you?"
Was that what a relationship with you was? A trap?
Did San feel like that, as well? Did Yeonjun? Did everyone else? Mingi did, that much was obvious.
"I didn't-" Mingi starts before throwing his head back with a frustrated groan. "I can't date you, Y/N. I'm sorry, I can't. She's my best friend, she's been with me through everything and I can't do that to her."
"You can't do that to her but you can do this to me." You comment, lips pursuing in a nasty grimace as you stare at him. You refuse to cry. You don't cry in public. "You can fuck me for almost three months, hang out with me all the time and then drop me because you finally remembered that your best friend and I aren't on good terms?"
"What you and I had wasn't even that serious-" Mingi tries to defend himself but you can tell that even he doesn't believe the words that leave his lips.
It was serious. It was serious to you.
Then you notice the words he used.
What you and I had.
Had. Past tense. You don't have it anymore, Mingi just decided.
"I was trying to make it serious by asking you out on a fucking date right now."
"You're in love with San-"
"Oh for fuck's sake-" You pause, feeling like your heart weighs a ton and that it's about to snap off and fall through your stomach. With furrowed eyebrows and eyes filled with unshed tears, you whisper; "Are you in love with Boyoung?"
"What?" Mingi asks in disbelief, eyes widening and mouth dropping open.
"Is that why you're so intent on saying I'm in love with San? Because you're in love with her and think you have a chance now that they broke up?" You guess, the two tickets feeling all too heavy in the pocket of your coat.
"Don't project onto me." He hisses, glaring at you as his anger spikes. "Is that what you plan on doing now that San is single again? Going after him?"
You don't bother correcting him anymore. You don't know why, might be the pettiness. You might even want him to think that you'll go after San.
Ten minutes before this, the thought wouldn't even cross your mind because all you were thinking about was a date with Mingi.
This argument has blown out of proportion and you don't even know what you're fighting about anymore.
You just wanted a stupid fucking date.
"You always act like you're so much fucking better than me for some reason when our situations aren't all that different, are they Mingi?" You scoff with an eye roll. You knew you were going to pay for all of this and now the time has come. "Both in love with people who don't love us back."
"Oh, don't do that." Mingi laughs bitterly, he shakes his head with a dark smile. "Don't compare your version of love to mine."
See, now that you were both angry and hurt, things were bound to escalate.
You take a step back, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that Boyoung does love me. It might not be the way I once wanted her to but she does love me. She shows it every single day when she grabs a cup of coffee for me on the way to class or when she sends me stupid shit that she knows will make me laugh. She's my best friend and she loves me and I love her back the same way." He divulges with a mocking smile at you. Your hands grab the ends of your skirt in agony.
"And San?" He chuckles humorlessly and you know this is about to be the moment that you'll see the tragic end. "San fucks you. He doesn't give a shit about you otherwise and he knows you have very little self-respect for yourself to ever call him out on it."
You flinch like you've been slapped, cheeks burning from the embarrassment and anger as you glare at him.
You wish you could be meaner to him. In fact, you have the insults and jabs sitting at the tip of your tongue.
Something along the lines of; Maybe Boyoung would've loved you the way you wanted her to if you had a proper set of balls. Who wants to date a little bitch of a man? No one wants to be involved with a quitter. Someone who will run away at the first sign of struggle.
And all those would be some of your weakest insults yet but you can't think of anything else on the spot at the moment. Not like it matters, you would never actually say them to him.
You simply can't be mean to Song Mingi. The thought of ever hurting him makes you feel disgusting and wrong and it only serves as proof of the feelings you've developed for him over the past few months you've spent together.
Mingi stares back and you think you can see a tinge of regret color his features for a second at the words he just said but he doesn't address them further.
He sighs, eyes falling to the floor and you stay silent biting your bottom lip until he decides to look up again.
His eyes look softer now, sadder.
"I just don't want to fight with my best friend." He admits quietly. "We've never fought before, not even when I confessed and she rejected me. Nothing was ever worth fighting with her over, not even my hurt feelings so I think it's best that we just end...whatever this was."
You smile shallowly, feeling like the hinges on your face will break and the doors will fly open and your true colors will show. The rusty mechanisms and dirty, bent out of shape nails that hide beneath the surface.
What you and Mingi had always had an expiration date, you knew that, but foolishly you somehow still hoped for a different outcome.
"You don't think I'm worth the fight?" You ask quietly and Mingi's eyes glue themselves to your face for a second too long before they eventually fall to the tiles.
He stays silent and you get your answer.
Finally, Mingi pulls the rug from under your feet and you're tumbling down through the fish shaped clouds and hear the stars cry for you. You're falling past the lively trees and pink mountains until you're landing in the daisy lake with a large splash.
The people that live in the house on the small hill are all asleep, they don't hear your yell.
You're sinking deeper into the lake, inhaling flowers until you're choking on them and there is a clearance on the surface that allows you to see Mingi watching with a stoic face as you drown- before he flies away.
Wooyoung knows something isn't right from the moment you step into his apartment.
But he doesn't ask.
Instead, he treats you like an injured animal and lures you to the couch with promises of food and a movie.
Wooyoung puts on Notting Hill and with a jumbo pizza on the table and two cans of Coke along with other various snacks like mozzarella sticks and dips, you two get comfy on the couch. Your pretty outfit which you spent an embarrassing amount of time picking out for today, is all wrinkled by now as you curl yourself up against a pillow.
You don't eat, you feel like you can't stomach it right now and only opt for staring blankly at the TV screen and ignoring the cautious glances Wooyoung throws your way every once in awhile.
"The food is getting cold." He says quietly and after another moment of silence, you reach out and take a small slice of pizza from the cardboard box and biting into it.
As you chew on the greasy food, you don't even notice the tears welling up in your eyes as you watch William Thacker and his group of friends all pilled into a shitty car, speeding through the streets of London just to get to Anna Scott in time.
With mouth stuff with food, you murmur, "I want that."
Wooyoung pauses mid-chew and turns to you slowly with wide eyes, confusion evident on his face.
"You...want to break several traffic laws in a high-speed chase...?"
You swallow down the bite you took, bottom lip wobbling.
"I want someone to want me that much." You whisper, gulping down your tears because you just feel so fucking stupid. But this is Wooyoung and you can tell him almost anything by now. "I want someone who will be tripping over their words when they talk to me because they're nervous and want to impress me."
Wooyoung's lips part and eyes soften as he stares at you, mouth still filled with food.
"I want someone who will anticipate whether or not I'll call and get disappointed when I don't pick up. I want...I want someone who will take me out on dates and buy me flowers and tell their friends how much they like me. I w-want someone to be into me that much that they drive the wrong way in a one way street no matter how stupid and dangerous it is..." The dam breaks and then the tears start. "I don't care how cheesy or conceited it is, I want all of it."
"God, Wooyoung." You sob softly and can't even look at him in the eyes because you're embarrassed of being this vulnerable in front of anyone. "I'm so tired...I'm so tired of feeling like I'm something disposable."
"Y/N..."
"I don't want to be someone just for sex or to brag about to other people." You cry, vision blurry from all the tears, "I can be s-sweet too! I can be s-someone's girlfriend as well! I...want to be loved! I want to be loved in the most innocent way possible even though I m-might not deserve it."
"You do deserve it." Wooyoung firmly states and it only makes you cry harder.
You drop the slice of pizza back on the table and cover your eyes with your hands, choking on your tears.
"Mingi turned me down."
A moment of silence ensues.
"Oh, Y/N-ie..." And then arms are wrapped around you and you're inhaling the scent of Wooyoung's clean hoodie as you cry into him.
Wooyoung soothes you with calming words and at one point, the sobs shake your whole body and you feel like you won't be able to ever speak again because all you'll do is keep choking on tears and swallowing your words.
"He said no..." You whimper against his chest and Wooyoung runs a finger through your hair, his cheek resting at the top of your head.
"I'm sorry." He whispers and you can tell he feels guilty, "I really thought he liked you."
You shake your head, still hiccuping.
"It's not your fault." You respond sniffling, "I wanted to ask him out. And I don't regret it. At least, n-now I know."
"I spent a f-fortune on tickets for a movie. It was a s-special screening. The writer w-was supposed to be t-there." You explain further, hiding your face in the fabric of his hoodie.
"What movie?" Wooyoung asks quietly, "Maybe you and I can go watch it then."
"Your Name." You reply, cheeks turning red.
"Your Name?" His chest rumbles as he speaks. "The animation? I didn't know you liked watching those."
"I don't!" You whine, tears resurfacing. "But Mingi does. It's h-his favorite m-movie!"
Wooyoung stills for a second before a sigh escapes him. "That's the cutest shit I've ever heard. Mingi is an idiot."
You look up at him with your bottom lip still wobbling, keeping in the new influx of tears.
"I mean it! He's an idiot, if someone did something like that for me I would be over the moon!"
"He didn't know what I had planned..."
"It doesn't matter. Anyone asking you out on a date is pretty sweet. And I take back my words from earlier, I know he likes you!"
"You're just saying that..."
"I mean it!" He persists and you sigh against him as your tears finally subside a smudge. "And what you said before, you do deserve to be loved genuinely and trust me when I say that a whole classroom of guys would be willing to drive the wrong way in a one way street for you."
You pick the threads of his hoodie as you snort. "Yeah? Where are they?"
"You just keep getting tangled up with the wrong ones!" Wooyoung exclaims with a huff, "Honey isn't the only one who likes cruel men apparently."
"Mingi isn't cruel..."
"Oh my God, can you not defend him right now?" Wooyoung groans and you pout, "You'll feel so much better after you talk shit about him a little bit!"
"He was so mean." You complain burying yourself further into his embrace to hide the tears that formed just at the thought of today.
"Asshole." Wooyoung scoffs, "It takes a lot of courage to ask someone out and if they decline, they should at least be somewhat considerate about it!"
"I guess...but...I don't know."
You were mean as well. A little bit. You definitely made him angrier but that wasn't your fault! He was hostile from the moment he saw you today.
"...what did he say?"
You open your mouth to tell him. 'So you thought me jumping in your bed and taking interest in your pretentious art would be enough to trap me into dating you?' You shake your head, "I don't want to talk about it."
Wooyoung sighs.
"I think you'd feel better if you did but...whatever you want."
Valentine's Day arrives and you do nothing else but be bitter.
Wooyoung stays true to his word and picks you up on the day after so the tickets you've carefully picked out don't go to waste. The movie is nice, it's not your style but you can tell why it would be Mingi's favorite. You don't meet the author though, you don't care enough and you're way too sad.
After the movie, you both go to dinner and it turns into a lovely evening. It's not with a boy who you see in a romantic light but it's with your best friend and you almost think it's better that way.
Maybe you don't need love, maybe you just need Wooyoung by your side. Your Wooyoung. Your rock.
Still, it's not enough to cover up the gap that Mingi left.
Frankly, you were aware that he made himself a permanent presence in your everyday life but it sucks to have to admit it to yourself. Especially now, when it seemed like the time you spent together didn't mean to him as much as it meant to you.
How pathetic.
You didn't see him at all ever since the fight you two had except for that one time in the cafeteria where he was having lunch with Boyoung. You had to walk past their table in order to reach Jennie and the girls so you almost turned back around and just skipped lunch altogether.
But you're not that type of person. When did you ever cower away from anyone?
You walked past them with your head held up high, not even sparing Mingi or Boyoung a glance. You hope it looked like you couldn't care less.
He stopped coming to the library. You didn't because you didn't have the privilege of living with Hongjoong to see him every day, so you and him still met up there almost every day to work.
Hongjoong's third sigh in the last five minutes finally makes you look up from your notes only to have him looking at you already.
"What?"
"Are you ever going to talk about it?"
"About what?"
"Y/N," He gives you an 'are you serious?' look and you pursue your lips. "What happened between the two of you? He isn't telling me anything either."
"Well, if he isn't telling you anything then there isn't much to say, is there?" You respond back snippily, hoping it would throw him off your back. But Hongjoong doesn't budge.
"That bitchy act doesn't work on me, you should know that by now." He replies, not moved in the slightest by your harsh demeanor and you roll your eyes. "Now tell me, which one fucked up? Was it you?"
Define fucking up Hongjoong, you think, would asking someone out on a measly date be considered as fucking up? Or was even starting anything with Song Mingi in the first place the part where you fucked up?
"I didn't do anything." You grumble, Hongjoong eyes you.
"So, it was Mingi." He concludes and you huff.
The thing is, you don't want this to affect Hongjoong's friendship with Mingi. You don't want him to think badly about Mingi either. Was this why dating within a friend group was always something dramatic and annoying? You wouldn't know, this was the first time you had an actual friend group but you suppose it could be an obstacle.
You're tied to a tree, the ropes digging into your skin and the pink leaves tickling your temple as you glare at the two men in front of you.
Kim Hongjoong and Jung Wooyoung are dressed in matching detective outfits, hats on their heads and badges glistening under the blue sun.
Detective Hongjoong has a pipe between his lips as he reaches up for one of the branches of the tree and pulls down an interrogation lamp, pointing it's bright light straight to your face which makes you squint.
"Tell us what you know!" He exclaims loudly, pointing at you with the same hand he holds the pipe with.
"You're not getting a word out of me!" You yell back brazenly, eyes still squinted from the bright light boring into your face and a 'tsk' sound leaves him as he turns to Detective Wooyoung who is carefully walking over the patch of grass you all found yourselves on, a magnifying glass in his hand.
"Detective Jung! Anything suspicious?" Detective Hongjoong yells over his shoulder and Detective Wooyoung stands up from his crouched position, the magnifying glass still pressed to his eye, making it look abnormally large.
"Footsteps with traces of stardust in them, sir!"
Detective Hongjoong turns to you with a vicious snarl, pocketing his pipe in the pocket of his long houndstooth coat. Detective Wooyoung crosses his arms with the same glare aimed at you. You gulp, eyes growing wide.
"Stardust, huh?" Detective Hongjoong nods sardonically before his face folds into another glare, "You've been happy!" He yells at you accusingly.
"Hongjoong, just...drop it." You groan but this time softer, "I don't want to talk about it. I didn't do anything, Mingi didn't do anything either. We just decided to call it quits. That's it."
You conveniently leave out the parts that have been prickling at you from the day that conversation in the hall happened. This is simpler.
"And you couldn't call it quits on good terms or something?" Hongjoong questions nosily, eyebrow raising as he stares at you.
You don't have an answer for that.
"It's...complicated."
"Everything is, it seems like." Hongjoong dryly replies.
That Tuesday you walk into Professor Ahn's office. It's still dark and messy but the usual layer of dust on the shelves of her office is missing. She had a cleaning day over the weekend it seemed like.
"Oh, you're here." She grumbles and you try not to roll your eyes at the greeting. Her murky demeanor has almost become endearing over time.
"Yep." You reply, sitting down on your designated chair and placing your bag on the chair next to you.
"Well, I have some news." She says, not paying much attention to you as she focuses on writing something down. "I did something."
You eye her cautiously. "And what would that be?"
"I made a portfolio of the scans from your notebook and sent them in as your application to Beaux-Arts de Paris." She answers simply without giving you another glance and your jaw drops.
"To Beau-the what?"
Finally, Professor Ahn looks up. Her face is pinched into an expression of annoyance which seems to be permanent whenever you're around. You don't think you've ever seen her smile.
"Beaux-Arts de Paris." She repeats in perfect french and you still stare at her like a cow looking at a new gate. "It's one of the finest Parisian art schools."
"And you didn't think that was something I would've liked to discuss beforehand?!" You glare, neck flushing from frustration.
"No. Because I knew you'd be against it."
"Of course, I'd be against it!" You exclaim loudly, "I can't go to Paris!"
Your parents...they would never allow that. They barely let you study art in Seoul.
"Who said you were going to Paris?" She wonders, thin glasses slipping down her nose so she's able to peer at you with that terrifying stare of hers. "You aren't even accepted yet."
"Still! I would've liked to know!" You whine, "And the drawings from my notebook?! Really?!"
Professor Ahn rolls her eyes. "Quit the dramatics."
Just those words are enough to make you huff but also, silence you.
"The worst that could happen is that you don't get in. The best that could happen is that you get in and even then, it doesn't mean you have to attend. It would just be an option." She explains curtly and your hands clench into fists by your sides, something fluttery curling in your chest at the thought of getting in.
"Whatever." You roll your eyes, "I won't go if I get in, anyway."
"Excellent."
"Good."
"Lovely."
"Fantastic!"
"I think you should change the direction of your art."
There is a beat of stifling silence.
"What?!"
Professor Ahn blinks at you before heaving a deep sigh.
"You paint now as your main direction but I think the drawings in your notebook are much more promising and that is the type of art you should be focusing on." She explains and you blanch at her, quite literally at a loss of words. "I think you could be a great illustrator one day."
See, there is something you haven't mentioned before.
Before you started college and after your parents finally agreed to let you take art as your godforsaken major - it was under one term.
You were to be a painter.
It wasn't that your parents were majorly into art or anything, they didn't appreciate any form of it actually. It was that if you were to study something as useless as art (in their opinion), it would be the classiest form of it.
Painting.
Lady-like, sophisticated and classy.
You liked painting, so you didn't see the problem with their condition. But you didn't expect for anyone to ever see the drawings in your thick notebook or to ever actually think they're good.
You never expected the thought of being an illustrator to wake up such an excitement in you either.
"I...I can't do that. I paint."
"You're better at sketching, illustrations, telling a story. You're great at it."
"I can't do that."
Professor Ahn sighs, eyes fluttering shut for a second before they meet yours again.
"Why don't you take some time to think about it? I'm sure it's not an easy decision to make."
"There isn't a decision to make." You respond with a sharp tone, glare set on your features.
"I thought you wanted to improve as an artist. I thought you wanted to grow and learn."
"I do!"
"Your paintings are stagnant and mediocre at best." Your mouth clamps shut at the harsh comment. "The reason why they're picked out to be displayed is because you're surrounded by equally mediocre individuals in that school of yours and you just have half an ounce more talent and imagination that makes you stand out among them."
Professor Ahn obviously wants to drive the point of how mediocre you are to home because she continues.
"There is no growth in your paintings. It's the same thing painted over and over again just on different canvases because it's what comes easiest to you so you stick to it because it's safe." She snaps harshly and you clench your jaw tight. "Your drawings on the other hand...you explore there, with different styles, different colors, different feelings and it turns out remarkable every time because you're not afraid of being judged in that notebook."
"But being an artist means being judged. It means throwing your most vulnerable moments into a painting, drawing, sketch...whatever and showing it to the world no matter how they take it." She spits the words at you and you have to press your lips tightly together to keep the curses in. "It means taking risks and challenging yourself. If you don't do that, you will peak in college because you settled for being better than the people from your classes and don't be mistaken, being better than them isn't an achievement. In the real world, as an artist, your paintings will get chewed up and spat back out because you will be against excellence and not mediocrity."
You swallow, "I don't know what makes you think you can talk to me like this."
Professor Ahn holds her head up high, "You need someone to tell you the truth and that's what I'm here for."
"And your truth is that I'll never make it as a painter?" You chuckle humorlessly, looking away and letting your eyes focus on the pile of newspaper collected on an old coffee table pushed to the wall of the room.
"Precisely. And even a blind person could notice that you don't like painting either and you're only insisting on it because it's what you think you should do."
"You fucking bitch." You hiss out, not being able to contain yourself anymore as swallow down the tears threatening to spill.
"I used to work as a professor so I've been told worse. You can call me whatever you want, Y/N, I couldn't care less." She shrugs and you glare at her viciously, the fact that she seems unbothered by the insult making you fire up even more. "I'm just trying to push you in the right direction."
"Go to hell." You spit out finally, having just about enough of everything and grabbing your bag hastily and leaving her office without looking back.
You're sick and tired of Professor Ahn and her 'help' and backhanded compliments that are only used to disguise her clear dislike towards you.
"Nasty, bitter old hag." You mutter angrily to yourself as you walk to your car parked on the sidewalk in front of her old house. You unlock it and getting, loudly slamming the door shut. You grip the steering wheel tightly, a mocking chuckle escaping you as you put the key in the ignition while you mutter to yourself, "Not peeking out of her wreck of a house, shunned in her dusty office but saying I'm the one scared of being judged."
Over your own dead boy will you let her get into your head.
By the time you reach the driveway of your home, you have managed to calm down and all that's left off your anger is a sour mood and an incoming sadness that will hit once the sun goes down. Which isn't too far away since it still got dark by 5 p.m.
When you start dragging your feet up the stairs to your bedroom, you realize how much you miss Mingi.
But he doesn't miss you.
Once again, it's embarrassing to be the one to care more. It's even worse when you are always the one to care more.
You can't decide to what extent your feelings for him went. It wasn't love but it would've been if you had let it drag on further so maybe it's better that it's over. Well, no point to think about it now.
Seonghwa eyes your frown and tired eyes as you walk past him in the hallway.
"What's up with you?" He calls after you, his hands in the pockets of his slacks. He's off from work early today.
"Nothing." You reply shortly, about to slam the door shut without even looking back to him.
"Y/N." He warns and you groan, your fuse incredibly short after the day you had that you turn to him swiftly with a glare.
"I'm not snorting anything up my nostrils, Seonghwa! You can relax!" You exclaim sarcastically and then close the door shut with a loud 'bang!'.
You don't hear his response but can hear his footsteps going down the stairs.
The days drag on after that. They're all the same, fusing into a wormhole of going to classes, meeting Hongjoong in the library, eating, seeing Wooyoung and sleeping. There aren't even any social gatherings which could potentially break the draining cycle.
Before you know it, you're a week into the month of March and you see Mingi again.
Suprise, surprise! He's with Boyoung. Again.
That fucking klutz bumps into you again when you're on your way to the cafeteria. She doesn't apologize this time though and if you knew that she had the balls, you'd think it's intentional.
But Son Boyoung is so fucking bland that you know even if it was an attempt at being spiteful- it was pathetic.
You stand in front of the two of them and notice Mingi holding his breath, avoiding your eyes.
You clench your jaw at the feeling of hurt swirling in your chest once your eyes meet his. He looks cautious. Fuck you, Mingi. I bought tickets for your favorite movie, they were pretty expensive might I add, only to be ditched for the absolute mess of a girl by your side right now.
He probably thinks you'll say something nasty. You wonder if you did, would he defend her. Boyoung seems to be expecting it as well by the way she juts her chin out in a false display of bravado.
And you probably could if you were honest, you had a lot of frustrations that needed to be taken out on someone and sweet, little Boyoung seemed like she was presenting herself on a silver platter for it.
But why the fuck would you be mean now? Contrary to popular belief, being a terrible person is actually quite draining.
Now, when San wants nothing to do with you (not to mention Boyoung and him are over- that was a can of worms you have yet to open) and you obviously don't mean enough to Mingi, Son Boyoung is what she was at the start- meaningless.
You wonder why you don't feel as elated as you thought you'd be by their breakup. You don't feel happy, in fact you think you were more relieved when San and Boyoung were dating. Now, some burden is back on your shoulders and you're not sure what it really means.
"For the last time, watch where you're fucking going." You snap at Boyoung, avoiding Mingi's eyes that bore into the side of your face at all cost as you push past the two of them without looking back.
When you tell Wooyoung about the incident, he says you should've told Boyoung how you fucked Mingi and you fucked him good. But you're glad you didn't do that.
Not because of Boyoung but because you knew it would bring pain to Mingi and you just can't find it in yourself to do that.
You still can't hurt Song Mingi. Goddammit.
A week after that is when everything flips upside down once again.
You're home alone, lounging on your bed and listening to music in your yoga pants and hoodie, when the doorbell rings.
You're confused on who it might be. Seonghwa was in Japan with your father and they weren't supposed to be back until Sunday. Your mother was in Busan for a reunion with her friends. You sent all the staff home as well because it felt selfish to keep them here when it's just you.
Walking down the stairs and into the foyer, you head to the front door as you zip up the hoodie you had on.
You swing the door open and are hit with the chilly air of the March night.
All you can do is stare at him.
"Hey, Y/N."
He's here.
You could've never imagined to see him here with his hands in his pockets, looking so out of place on the steps of your home.
In a thick black jacket and jeans, raven hair falling across his forehead and reaching just above his eyes.
Pretty eyes, that have haunted you for so long now, are staring back at you and his mouth quirks up a bit causing the devastating dimples to show.
Maybe Wooyoung was right.
Maybe you do like cruel men.
"San."
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Could we get some Abraham Grantchester NSFW alphabet.. not feeling anything particular for that character (?) But like .. I need to know everything? Does that make sense? 🥸
You are gonna kill me with these! Abraham is only in one episode and doesn't feature particularly heavily, so this is gonna be a stretch.
Abraham NSFW Alphabet
A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)
Don't be ridiculous - won't even wait for them to pull their skirt back down - he's off once he's pulled out.
B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)
Very proud of his ridiculous quiff.
A sucker for a pretty smile, and a massive pair of tits.
C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)
Respectfully, not even King Arthur himself could pull Abraham out of his partner - it's going inside.
D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)
Has likely found himself in situations in the past where consent is dubious at best.
E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)
Abraham gets around - he knows what he's doing.
F= Favorite position
Doggy or against the wall - whatever scratches the itch quickest, basically.
G= Goofy (how serious are they)
Is very flirtatious and charming in the lead up, but is all business once he gets down to it.
H= Hair (grooming habits)
If the hair on his head is anything to go by, then he definitely manscapes.
I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)
Rough and dirty. He's all about a quick fuck.
J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)
He's a traveller, so would rather pick up a random from the nearest pub and get his end away.
K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)
Enjoys choking his partners. Has a spit kink, obviously.
L= Location (where they like to get it on)
Where ever. Will just bend his partner over the nearest surface, or push them up against the nearest wall.
M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)
Cleavage. A cheeky smile flashed at him from across the room. Suggestive eye contact.
N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)
Clinginess. Asking to see him again.
O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)
If his partner wants to blow him he's game, but he won't return the favour.
P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)
Has good stamina, considering the fact he jackhammers.
Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)
Abraham only does quickies.
R= Risk (do they like to try new things)
He doesn't keep the same partner long enough to experiment.
S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)
He's a one and done type of dude. 20 minutes tops.
T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)
He'd have to get to know them for this to apply, he won't do that.
U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)
Once he knows it's a sure thing he's all business.
V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)
Grunts, grits out a "fuck!" as he cums.
W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)
If his partner's underwear are difficult to move to the side he'll just tear them off completely.
X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)
8 inches. It's a monster. He rarely takes the time to properly prepare his conquests, so their eyes will water upon entry if they aren't sufficiently wet.
Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)
High, but he's not gagging for it, because he's confident he can get it when he wants it.
Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)
There's no way he's spending the night or allowing his partner to - the moment he cums he's gone again.
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With the V-22 grounded, the Navy's venerable C-2 are coming back into action
Fernando Valduga By Fernando Valduga 12/23/2023 - 21:52in Military
Currently, there is only one tiltrotor Bell V-22 Osprey unit operating in the U.S. military. As a result, the U.S. Pacific Fleet again used the C-2A Greyhound to transport to and from aircraft carriers.
After the fall in late November of a U.S. Air Force Special Operations CV-22B near Yakushima Island, Japan, in which eight aviators died, all the Ospreys of the Navy, the Marine Corps and the U.S. Air Force were landed on December 6.
Only the Navy Middle Tiltrotor Squadron VMM-162 (part of the 26ª Navy Expeditionary Unit) flying MV-22B received special permission to conduct limited operations because it has detachments on ships currently deployed, including the USS Bataan (LHD-5) and the USS Carter Hall (LSD-50) in the Red Sea and USS Green Table (LPD-19) in the Eastern Mediterranean.
All the other Ospreys are grounded. This left some U.S. Pacific Fleet aircraft carriers without their on-board delivery aircraft (COD). Most Fleet aircraft carriers based on the West Coast began using the Osprey CMV-22B variant as CODs starting with the first deployment of the tiltrotors on the USS Carl Vinson (CVN-70) in 2021.
The CMV-22B took over the COD mission both to replace the old C-2As and to serve the Navy's F-35C. Osprey can load the Pratt & Whitney F-135 engine of the Join Strike Fighter and land with it on the aircraft carrier. Greyhound is not big enough to do that.
As a result, the C-2s that served most of the West Coast aircraft carriers in previous decades were transferred to the Norfolk Naval Station, Virginia, on the East Coast, to support the Atlantic Fleet aircraft carriers whose Air Wings do not yet have F-35C squadrons.
Currently, Vinson, USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN-71) and USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN-72) use Osprey. On Tuesday, Vinson was operating in the Philippine Sea area, while Roosevelt and Lincoln are currently at their home port in San Diego.
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The Japan-based USS Ronald Reagan (CVN-76) is currently in the port of Yokosuka, but is still deployed with C-2 based on land at the Iwakuni Marine Corps Air Station in Japan. Their status in port allowed the C-2 of the VRC-30 squadron based in Iwakuni to be deployed to Vinson.
First placed on the field in the mid-1960s, the C-2 overcame the first problems to become a true Navy flagship. The same cannot be said of the CMV-22B yet. The grounding that began earlier this month is the second of the U.S. Navy's Osprey fleet this year.
All three Forces flying on Osprey paralyzed part of their V-22 fleets in February due to an ongoing problem with the hard transmission of the tiltrotor. This grounding occurred after USAF interrupted its fleet operations in August 2022 due to the same hard transmission problem.
In 2022, the Pentagon's director of operational testing and evaluation (DOT&E) issued an evaluation stating that the CMV-22B only partially met its reliability requirements. He concluded that Osprey could not meet its operational readiness requirements and had an insufficient ice protection system.
Thanks to its non-pressurized cabin, the CMV-22B cannot fly far above 10,000 feet with passengers (or practically with its crew), which means that it will probably have to fly through weather conditions in which it cannot fly easily. This has made the problem of the insufficient ice protection system more acute and the altitude limitation affects the operations and operational range of Osprey in any climate.
Meanwhile, C-2 veterans now crossing the deck to the Vinson can fly at altitudes of up to 28,700 feet and carry 10,000 pounds of cargo in a range of 1,300 nautical miles, surpassing the 6,000 pounds of cargo of the Osprey in a range of 1,150 nautical miles. The age of the C-2 also makes its maintenance difficult, but it remains a less complex aircraft than the CMV-22B.
The Navy welcomed the Osprey as a COD that can take off and land vertically from the aircraft carrier and other ships, unlike the C-2, only transported by aircraft carriers, but in practice the tiltrotor V-22 operates from a few other Navy ships besides those of amphibious assault, dock landing and transport dock ships. It is not clear whether the CMV-22B operated with these types.
Thus, in the absence of flying Ospreys, the former Navy C-2s (who are on average 34 years old) are compensating for their CMV-22 until the tiltrotors are allowed to fly again.
When returning to the deck of the Carl Vinson for the first time since 2021, the ship's crew will be able to reflect on the fact that the old CODs that now bring their correspondence, high-priority supplies and passengers cost approximately $38.96 million each, a third of the price of the landed CMV-22B ($104.9 million per aircraft).
Until the Ospreys receive the green light again, they will have to continue helping.
Source: Forbes
Tags: Military AviationCMV-22B OspreyGrumman C-2 Greyhoundaircraft carrierUSN - United States Navy/U.S. Navy
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Fernando Valduga
Fernando Valduga
Aviation photographer and pilot since 1992, he has participated in several events and air operations, such as Cruzex, AirVenture, Dayton Airshow and FIDAE. He has works published in specialized aviation magazines in Brazil and abroad. He uses Canon equipment during his photographic work in the world of aviation.
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The disassembly drones' former names
I figured that I would share this headcanon with all of you sooner or later. You know each of the disassembly drones’ serial designations? Well, what if their letters were based off their former names back when they were worker drones? And I’m not talking about the first letter of their names. I’m talking about the name of the letter in each of their names. For example, N’s former name was probably either Kenneth, Bennett, or Leonard, and V’s former name probably either Venus, Vivian, or Genevieve. J’s former name was probably either Jamie or Jane, the latter of which I was initially going for Mary Jane (yes, the same name as the famous supporting character from Spider-Man). I’m unsure about CYN or Cynthia, though, largely because that she probably died long before the events of the series that she wasn’t converted into a disassembly drone. Besides, for all we know, she was going on a crazy, murderous rampage that she had to be put down. And if she was converted into a disassembly drone, her designation might be either C from the first letter of her name or T from a phonetic of her name (Cynthia).
The former names should go as followed:
A – Ada, Eva, Avery, Abraham, Adrian
B – Beatrice, Bianca, Phoebe; Sabine
C – Caesar, Cecil, Casey
D – Diesel, Delia, Deanna, Heidi, Nadine
E – Edith, Eden, Elaine, Ian
F – Efrem, Jeffrey, Stephanie
G – Giovanni, Georgina, Regina, Eugene
H – Rachel, Horatio
I – Isaac, Ivan, Isaiah, Ivy, Iris
J – Jane, Jamie, Jayden
K – Katie, Kayla, Casey
L – Eleanor, Elliot, Elias, Elvis, Elmer; Bella, Angelica, Melanie, Danielle, Michelle; Denzel
M – Emma, Emerald, Emmett, Emmerich, Clementine
N – Kenneth, Bennett, Benedict, Leonard, Henry
O – Ophelia, Olivia, Odette, Opal
P – Peter, Penelope
Q – Cueball, Queue
R – Archie, Armand, Charles, Harley
S – Essence, Estelle, Esther, Jessica, Lester, Marquess
T – Christina, Valentina, Misty
U – Ulysses, Unity, Eunice, Eustace
V – Venus, Vivian, Genevieve
W – Winston, Wilson
X – Xavier, Rex, Alexander
Y – Wyatt, Wyvern, Wyoming
Z – Ezekiel, Lindsay, Suzie
I also want to share that I used to have a theory that J, N, and V used to be regular secretary drones before being converted into disassembly drones, as well as my former headcanon that N used to be friends with his assigned human coworker.
Anyway, that’s all I have for this headcanon for now. This might be re-edited soon, but if you’d like to add in some additions, feel free to do so in the replies and reblogs. You can use this list as an outline for your OCs if you want. And I’ll see you all next time.
P.S. If Uzi were to transform into a disassembly drone, should her designation be either U or Z?
#Glitch Productions#Liam Vickers#Murder Drones#Serial Designation N#Serial Designation V#Serial Designation J#headcanon#theories
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#christianity tw#ex christian#religion#awana#god i can't believe after months of wondering i just spontaneously remembered the name of slow fade
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List of characters I will write!
If they are not listed here, I will not write them! It's easier to say & read who I would write for, rather than not, as that is quite a long list.
❀ Ahiru No Sora - Chiaki Hanazono, Kaname Shigeyoshi, Kenji Natsume, Momoharu Hanazono, Sei Shiraishi, Shigenobu Yakuma, Tokitaka Tokiwa, Yasuhara Shinichi, Yozan Kamiki, Yukinari Kojima.
❀ Avatar The Way Of Water - Ao'nung, Lo'ak, Neteyam, Rotxo
❀ Black Butler - Claude Faustus, Grelle Sutcliff, Ronald Knox, Sebastian Michaelis, Undertaker, William T. Spears
❀ Bleach - Äs Nödt, Byakuya Kuchiki, Gin Ichimaru, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Isshin Kurosaki, Izuru Kira, Jūshirō Ukitake, Kenpachi Zaraki, Kensei Muguruma, Kisuke Urahara, Mayuri Kurotsuchi, Nnoitra Gilga, Renji Abarai, Shinji Hirako, Shūhei Hisagi, Shunsui Kyōraku, Sōsuke Aizen, Szayelaporro Granz, Ulquiorra Cifer, Uryu Ishida, Yasutora Sado, Yumichika Ayasegawa.
❀ Chronicles of Ancient Darkness - Aki, Arrin, Asrif, Bale, Boar Clan Mage, Chelko, Dark, Detlan, Fin-Kedinn, Gaup, Hord, Iakim, Inuktiluk, Juksakai, Krukoslik, Kujai, Kyo, Maheegun, Narrander (The Walker), Orvo, Poi, Raut, Sialot, Thull, Tiu, Tseid, Yolun.
❀ Devil May Cry 5 - Dante, Nero, V, and Vergil.
❀ Food Wars - Isami Aldini, Satoshi Isshiki, Takumi Aldini, Terunori Kuga.
❀ Final Fantasy - Angeal Hewley, Cloud Strife, Genesis Rhapsodos, Gladiolus Amicitia, Ignis Scientia, Kadaj, Loz, Noctis Lucis Caelum, Prompto Argentum, Reno Sinclair, Rufus Shinra, Sephiroth, Vincent Valentine, Yazoo, Zack Fair.
❀ Grand Theft Auto V - Ron Jakowski, Trevor Philips, and Wade Hebert.
❀ Gone - Albert Hillsborough, Alex Mayle, Antoine, Caine Soren, Charles "Orc" Merriman, Drake Merwin, Edilio Escobar, Elwood Booker, Hunter Lefkowitz, Lance, Tony "Cookie" Gilder, Toto, Turk, Tyler "Bug", Paint, Panda, Quinn Gaither, Roger, Zil Sperry.
❀ Haikyuu - Atsumu Miya, Daichi Sawamura, Eita Semi, Kei Tsukishima, Keiji Akaashi, Keishin Ukai, Kenma Kozume, Kōshi Sugawara, Kōtarō Bokuto, Lev Haiba, Osamu Miya, Rintarō Suna, Ryūnosuke Tanaka, Satori Tendō, Shinsuke Kita, Tadashi Yamaguchi, Tetsurō Kuroo, Tobio Kageyama, Tōru Oikawa, Wakatoshi Ushijima, Yū Nishinoya.
❀ Halloween 1978 - Michael Myers (Older Version)
❀ Hellboy - Nuada Silverlance. Abraham Sapien.
❀ Hetalia Axis Powers - America, Australia, Austria, Bulgaria, Canada, China, Cuba, Denmark, England, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hong Kong, Italy, Japan, Korea, Kugelmugel, Ladonia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Molossia, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Poland, Prussia, Romania, Russia, Seborga, South Italy, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey, Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus.
❀ House of Wax - Bo, Lester, and Vincent Sinclair.
❀ Hunger Games - Darius, Finnick Odair, Gale Hawthorne, Haymitch Abernathy, Marcus, Sejanus Plinth, Thresh.
❀ Jujutsu Kaisen - Choso, Geto, Nanami, and Gojo
❀ Kuroko No Basket - Atsushi Murasakibara, Chihiro Mayuzumi, Daiki Aomine, Kazunari Takao, Kiyoshi Miyaji, Makoto Hanamiya, Reo Mibuchi, Shinji Koganei, Shintarō Midorima, Shoichi Imayoshi, Taiga Kagami, Tatsuya Himuro, Teppei Kiyoshi, Wei Liu.
❀ Laughing Under The Clouds - Rakucho Takeda, Shirasu Kinjo, Soramaru Kumo, Sousei Abeno, Tenka Kumo
❀ My Hero Academia - Dabi, Denki Kaminari, Eijiro Kirishima, Fumikage Tokoyami, Hanta Sero, Hitoshi Shinso, Hizashi Yamada, Izuku Midoriya, Kai Chisaki, Katsuki Bakugo, Keigo Takami, Mashirao Ojiro, Mezo Shoji, Mirio Togata, Neito Monoma, Shota Aizawa, Shoto Todoroki, Tamaki Amajiki, Tenya Iida, Tomura Shigaraki.
❀ Naruto - Asuma Sarutobi, Deidara, Gaara, Genma Shiranui, Hashirama Senju, Hidan, Iruka Umino, Itachi Uchiha, Jiraiya, Kabuto Yakushi, Kakashi Hatake, Kakuzu, Kankurō, Kisame Hoshigaki, Kushimaru Kuriarare, Madara Uchiha, Might Guy, Minato Namikaze, Nagato (Pain), Neji Hyūga, Obito Uchiha, Orochimaru, Rock Lee, Sai, Sasori, Shikamaru Nara, Tobi, Tobirama Senju, Yamato, Zetsu.
❀ Nightmare On Elm Street - Freddy Krueger
❀ Petshop of Horrors - Count D
❀ Prince of Stride - Hajime Izumino, Heath Hasekura, Hozumi Kohinata, Kei Kamoda, Kyosuke Kuga, Riku Yagami, Ryo Izumino, Shizuma Mayuzumi, Tomoe Yagami, Toya Natsunagi.
❀ Shatter Me - Brendan and Kenji Kishimoto.
❀ Slow Damage - Kei Madarame, Mayu, Rei Izumi, and Towa.
❀ Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Alfredo Sawyer, Edward "Tex" Sawyer, Robert "Chop Top" Sawyer, and Nubbins Sawyer.
❀ The Boy - Brahms Heelshire
❀ The Naturals - Dean Redding, Mason Kyle (Nightshade), Michael Townsend.
❀ The Walking Dead - Carl (sfw only), Daryl, Negan, and Rick.
❀ Tokyo Ghoul - Kishou Arima, Nimura Furuta, Renji Yomo, Uta.
❀ Tokyo Revengers - Chifuyu Matsuno, Keisuke Baji, Ken "Draken' Ryuguji, Manjiro "Mikey" Sano, Mitsuya Takashi, Nahoya "Smiley" Kawata, Ran Haitani, Shuji Hanma, Souya "Angry" Kawata.
❀ Yuri On Ice - Chris, Otabek, Victor, Yuri P.
Alphabets... SFW | NSFW
#🐉 character list#ahiru no sora#avatar the way of water#black butler#bleach#chronicles of ancient darkness#diabolik lovers#devil may cry 5#food wars#final fantasy#grand theft auto v#gone series#haikyuu#halloween 1978#hellboy the golden army#hetalia axis powers#house of wax#the hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#jujutsu kaisen#kuroko no basket#mortal kombat#my hero academia#naruto#nightmare on elm street#petshop of horrors#prince of stride#shatter me series#texas chainsaw massacre#the boy 2016
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Neutralised (1994): S01 E01 [1/5]
(Meant to be read like a TV show, or the description of a TV show)
Warnings: Shitty writing (I'm rusty on television writing), death & dead bodies, 90s fashion decisions (can you tell I don't know what to mention), misunderstandings & perceived abuse, cheesy nicknames, violence & Swearing.
2000 ish words. Please tell me if you want to be tagged.
~~💀💀~~
The scene opens on a graveyard at dawn, a figure holds a shovel and attempts to dig, but the ground is too cold and hard. Next to him is a completely black golf-cart type vehicle.
A small subtitle appears at the bottom of the screen, it reads 'January 1st 1994, Chicago, Illinois'.
As the camera gets closer to the figure we can see them in more detail, blonde hair and glasses wearing a denim shirt and jeans under a dark brown winter coat, along with black boots, the faint hint of stubble colours his jawline in a tint of gold. This is Caleb 'Cal' willow, head grave-digger, 32 years old, British-American, six-foot tall and good-looking even though he doesn't wish to be anyone's eye-candy.
The figure (Cal) stops, leaving the shovel standing straight up in the frozen ground as he leans on it and looks towards something off-camera.
The camera shifts to behind the man in denim and we see truck, a beat-up, old, purple, 1989 Ford F-150.
The shot gets closer and the couple in the car are suddenly clearer.
The man in the driver's seat is hefty and has a smug smirk on his face, his leather jacket covers a stained off-white tank-top, a baseball cap covers most of his curly brown hair, except for the week-old beard and puts his blue eyes in shadow. This is Lance Carter, an electrician, 30 years old, originally from Mississippi, six-foot-two and a former college athlete.
"You gotta stop trippin' over yer feet, Mona." He grumbles as he leans over to kiss the woman.
The woman, 'Mona' is paler than her lover, light blonde hair, styled into bangs and a ponytail, and bright blue eyes contrast with her black painted lips and dark crimson eyeshadow, her red V-neck sweater vest and black long-sleeve shirt show a hint of cleavage and a black heart necklace. Her bangs barely hide a poorly covered bruise from that earlier morning. This is Monday 'Mona' Duke, the youngest grave-digger, 26 years old, born and raised in Eloia, five-foot-one and deceptively lean.
"I'll try not to, my Lancelot. I'ma go hand Cal his coffee, I love you and I'll see you later." Mona whispers, kissing his cheek and pulling away to get out of the truck.
Mona takes a set of three paper cups and a black satchel bag with her, the camera shifts to show her walking, with a slight but noticeable limp on her right side, towards Cal, his figure standing in the graveyard, and we see she's wearing black cargo pants and black heavy boots with inch-thick platforms on the bottom.
"Bram not here yet?" She calls as she walks over.
"Not yet, Mona, waiting for the call to say he's got religious reasons." Cal breathes out a cloud as he sighs, happily taking a cup from his female co-worker.
"We should have taken today off, but then again, you don't care about New Year's Day, and I don't want to be in the same apartment as my dumbass boyfriend."
"Go send Prince Charming away then, Princess." Cal chuckles softly.
Mona jogs back to the car, which isn't easy with her limp being made worse by the freezing weather.
"Lance, I'm at work now, you can leave."
Lance leans out of the window to kiss Mona, when they pull away a man can be seen between them, about six feet from the car.
The man is tall, broad shoulders with a black trench-coat draped over them, his pale blue jumper clashes slightly with the dark green colour of his trousers, and the maroon brown shade of his boots. His curly black hair comes to rest just above his dark brown eyes and aquiline nose, his scowling lips are framed by a neatly trimmed goatee. This is Abraham 'Bram' Machado, the tallest grave-digger, 30 years old, born and raised in Idaho, six-foot-three and easily angered.
He glares at Lance as the man drives away, his rage vanishes as he looks at Mona.
"Morning, Mona, sorry I'm late Cal… car troubles." The tallest member of the trio nervously explains, gesturing to his car parked neatly in its place, the only hint of damage is a cracked passenger window.
"Lateness I expect from Mona, not from you, Bram." Cal huffs as he once again tries to dig the frozen dirt.
Mona limps a couple paces before sitting in the black golf-cart.
"Are you doing okay, Mona?" Bram raises an eyebrow in concern, taking a swig from the final cup of coffee to hide the scowl on his lips.
She nods, taking a sip from her coffee before she turns to scan across the graveyard, her eyes widen when she spots something.
Cal gestures for Bram to put his drink down and focus on the work. Bram nods but stares at Mona as he continues working.
"Excuse me, sir," Mona starts walking towards a slumped figure, "you can't sleep out here, you'll catch your demise, mister?" She pokes the figure with her foot, dropping down to check their pulse.
Cal and Bram stop and silently watch as Mona slowly stands and starts carefully walking backwards towards them.
"Monday, are you alright?" Cal's voice waivers slightly as he starts to realise what the lady grave-digger has seen.
"Monday, come here, you shouldn't look at that. Mona, Mona come here." Bram pulls Mona towards him, making her squeak as her smaller frame collides with his chest, he shields her body with his.
Cal grabs his phone from his back pocket and dials a number, the scene starts to fade out as Cal says, "Hey, Boss…"
The next scene fades in, an office, cramped and claustrophobic.
An older gentleman, his black hair balding, short of both stature and temper, wearing an all black suit more at home in the 70s, along with black leather gloves on his hands. He sits at an old wooden desk and shakes his head as he grabs a small pile of paperwork.
"These are your witness reports," He looks at the trio, annoyed at them, "I'm not letting you three get off of work just because you found a body. Miss Duke, shift's over, I'll see you later. Out." The older man, Mr Mortimer according to the name plaque on his desk, grumbles in an Italian accent, waving the three grave-diggers out of his tiny office.
They step out into a larger room, past a young black man sitting with his feet on his desk reading 'Funeral Monthly', and through another door into what almost looks like a gothic hotel lobby. At the desk sits a larger, blond gentleman, downing an energy drink with an obvious 'I don't want to be here' attitude.
Cal strikes up a conversation with him with a casual, "Hey, King." Then the conversation fades into background noise.
"Hey, Monday… Are, are you sure you're okay, Mona?" Bram whispers as he sits down with her on one of the benches in the lobby.
"Yeah I'm fine, Bram, it's nothing I haven't seen before," She shrugs, "Lance should be here soon to take me to the café anyway." Mona's voice is a mile a minute, it's clear that this is just how she talks, fast-paced with little time to relax, as is her lifestyle.
But at the mention of Lance, Bram's soft, caring smile drops, replaced with a scowl full of hate as he hunkers down, placing his forearms against his thighs, he glares at the entrance and his jaw clenches tight, hands already balled into fists.
He's shaken from the mist of blind anger by Mona gently patting his shoulder as a gesture of thanks.
Mona heads outside, lighting up a cigarette as Bram stands, stopping himself from following her, he waits for Cal to leave first.
Bram glares at Lance as Mona kisses her boyfriend and leaves with him, Bram continues glaring until he can't see the truck anymore.
"Drop the glare, we have work to do. You can fight him when Mona isn't around him," Cal nudges Bram's arm, "c'mon Romeo."
The two men climb into the golf-cart and head back to the grave they were digging.
Meanwhile, Mona and Lance share an awkward moment of silence before Lance huffs a hefty sigh.
"Are we gonna talk about it?" He grumbles.
"What? The dead frozen guy?" Mona raises an eyebrow at the gruff tone of her boyfriend's voice.
"No, Mona. Are we gonna talk about him, the tall guy you work with?"
"Bram? What about him?" She shrugs, not understanding the question.
"He glares at me, every time I drop you off or pick you up. Hell, Mona, he glares at me when I visit you at work."
"He's just protective, it's not every day that someone shows up with bruises and a limp."
Mona checks her hairline in a compact mirror, showing the bruises, which can't be older than a week or less, she attempts to cover them with makeup and fixes her bangs to hide them again.
"I know that, but it's every time, not just today." Lance slams hard on the horn and silently mouths a couple curse words at another driver.
Mona jumps at the noise of the horn, Lance notices and takes her hand to press a reassuring kiss to the back of her palm.
"I didn't realise that, Lancelot, but pay him no attention. I'm your girl, not his." Mona whispers as Lance parks the truck.
As soon as Mona steps out of the truck, the back door of the café swings open and a young man, in white clothes and an apron, with jet black hair comes rushing out, stopping when he sees Mona and rushing over to hug her.
"Fry, down baby brother, down." Mona chuckles softly.
Fry puts his hands up and takes a step back, "Estelle's here. She's mad at Angelo."
"Why's she mad at Angelo for?"
As Mona steps through the door the camera follows her and when it swings back the screen goes black.
The scene fades back and the camera raises diagonally out of the grave Cal and Bram have been digging. Cal and Bram have both ditched their jackets by this point, Cal's denim shirt has sweat stains in the armpits. Bram is in the process of taking his jumper off, revealing a long-sleeved beige undershirt and suspenders.
"So, what's the deal with you and Mona?" Cal asks, watching as Bram's shoulders drop as he sighs.
"The deal with me and Monday," Bram murmurs as he places his jumper in the cart, "From the day she got hired, I thought me and her would be friends, or maybe more, but she doesn't see me in that way. If she truly wants Lance, then the lord better fix him fast." Bram grumbles as he avoids looking Cal in the eyes.
Cal goes to speak, falling silent as both men look towards the sound of tires screeching to a halt.
Lance's truck pulls up beside the row of headstones, the driver's side door swings open and he steps out, scowling as he looks at Cal and Bram.
The passenger door swings open and a young, golden haired man in a dark blue security uniform steps out and rushes over to Lance's side. The name tag on his chest reads 'Kane Carter'. This is Kane 'K.C' Carter, the day-shift security guard, 27 years old, the younger brother of Lance, five-foot-nine and a man who is usually late due to being a heavy sleeper.
"Piss off, Kane." Lance growls, taking off his jacket and throwing it onto the seat before slamming the car door.
"Lance, don't. Think about what Monday would want." K.C tries to push his brother towards the car as Lance storms towards the grave-diggers.
"Don't you dare." Cal whispers as he pries Bram's hand off the shovel, chucking both potential weapons in the back of the cart.
Bram stands his ground, glaring daggers at Lance as the, slightly shorter, tall man advances.
#original character#original characters#original writing#original series#Neutralised#episode 1#season 1#1x01#1x01 pilot#cal#mona#lance#bram#mr mortimer#gray#king#fry#k.c#tagging only alfred because i hope the molina girlies like bram#alfred molina
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Las 211 peliculas que he visto en 2022 (parte 1)
En negrita las que os recomiendo:
1. El sexto sentido (Nemesio Manuel Sobrevila, 1929)
2. El pan nuestro de cada día (King Vidor, 1934)
3. Luna Nueva (Howard Hawks, 1940)
4. Un sueño americano (King Vidor, 1944).
5. Breve encuentro (David Lean, 1945)
6. El capitán Kidd (Rowland V. Lee, 1945)
7. Lazos humanos (Elia Kazan, 1945)
8. La bella y la bestia (Jean Cocteau, 1946)
9. Domador de sirenas (Irving Pichel, 1948)
10. La fuerza del destino (Abraham Polonsky, 1948)
11. Nunca la olvidare (George Stevens, 1948)
12. Vida en sombras (Lorenzo Llobet Gracia, 1949)
13. Milagro en Milan (Vittorio de Sica, 1951)
14. Umberto D (Vittorio de Sica, 1952)
15. Valkoinen peura [El reno blanco] (Erik Blomberg, 1952)
16. El salario del miedo (H G Clouzot, 1953)
17. La loba (Alberto Lattuada, 1953)
18. Los apuros de un pequeño tren (Charles Crichton, 1953)
19. Tarantula (Jack Arnold, 1955)
20. El ferroviario (Pietro Germi, 1956).
21. La mala semilla (Mervyn LeRoy, 1956).
22. De dode tjern [El lago de los muertos] (Kåre Bergstrøm, 1958)
23. Cover Girl Killer (Terry Bishop, 1959)
24. Horror en el Museo Negro (Arthur Crabtree, 1959).
25. Beat Girl (Edmond T. Gréville, 1960)
26. El hotel de los horrores (John Moxley, 1960)
27. La sangre seca (Yoshishige Yoshida, 1960)
28. Macario (Robert Gavaldon, 1960)
29. Marea nocturna (Curtis Harrington, 1961)
30. El poder de la mafia (Alberto Lattuada, 1962)
31. Historias de terror (Roger Corman, 1962)
32. Vida para Ruth (Basil Dearden, 1962)
33. El demonio (Brunello Rondi, 1963).
34. El especulador (Vittorio de Sica, 1963)
35. Las tres caras del miedo (Mario Bava, 1963)
36. The small world of Sammy Lee (Ken Hughes, 1963)
37. El extraño viaje (Fernando Fernan-Gomez, 1964)
38. La mujer de la arena (Hiroshi Teshigahara, 1964)
39. Los corceles de fuego (Sergei Parajanov, 1964)
40. España insólita (Javier Aguirre, 1965)
41. El ojo del diablo (J Lee Thompson, 1966)
42. Kriminal (Umberto Lenzi, 1966)
43. Las Brujas (Cyril Frankel, 1966)
44. El desconocido de Shandigor (Jean-Louis Roy, 1967)
45. Corrupción (Robert Hartford-Davis, 1968)
46. La maldicion del altar rojo (Vernon Sewell, 1968)
47. Mr Freedom (William Klein, 1968)
48. Satanik (Piero Vivarelli, 1968)
49. Un día tranquilo en el campo (Elio Petri, 1968)
50. Queimada! (Gillo Pontecorvo, 1969)
51. Ya soy una mujer (David Greene, 1969)
52. 4 moscas sobre terciopelo gris (Dario Argento, 1970)
53. El martillo de las brujas (Otakar Vavra, 1970)
54. Lokis. Rekopis profesora Wittembacha [Lokis. El manuscrito del Profesor Wittembach] (Janusz Majewski, 1970)
55. Valerie y su semana de las maravillas (Jaromil Jireš, 1970)
56. Bahía de sangre (Mario Bava, 1971).
57. La maldición de los Bishop (John D Hancock, 1971)
58. Angustia de silencio (Lucio Fulci, 1972)
59. Lejos de los arboles (Jacinto Esteva, 1972).
60. San Francisco, ciudad desnuda (Stuart Rosenberg, 1973)
61. Torso: Violencia Carnal (Sergio Martino, 1973)
62. Sintomas (Jose Ramon Larraz, 1974)
63. Trastornado (Alan Ormsby y Jeff Gillen, 1974)
64. Blue Moon (Louis Malle, 1975)
65. El quimérico inquilino (Roman Polanski, 1976)
66. God told me to (Larry Cohen, 1976)
67. Foes (John Coats, 1977)
68. La centinela (Michael Winner, 1977)
69. La ultima ola (Peter Weir, 1977)
70. El dinero de los demás (Christian de Chalonge, 1978)
71. Cristo se paro en Eboli (Francesco Rosi, 1979)
72. La hipótesis de un cuadro robado (Raul Ruiz, 1979)
73. Profecía maldita (John Frankenheimer, 1979)
74. Impacto (Brian de Palma, 1981)
75. Vida/Perra (Javier Aguirre, 1982)
76. Los jueces de la ley (Peter Hyams, 1983)
77. Ojos de fuego (Avery Crounse, 1983)
78. 1,2,3... Splash (Ron Howard, 1984)
79. Los santos inocentes (Mario Camus, 1984).
80. Repo Man (Alex Cox, 1984)
81. Re-Animator (Stuart Gordon, 1985)
82. 007: Alta tensión (John Glen, 1987)
83. El príncipe de las tinieblas (John Carpenter, 1987)
84. Walker (Alex Cox, 1987)
85. La tumba de las luciérnagas (Isao Takahata, 1988)
86. The Dreaming (Mario Andreacchio, 1988)
87. Un lugar llamado Milagro (Robert Redford, 1988)
88. Celia (Ann Turner, 1989)
89. Cuando fuimos brujas (Nietzchka Keene, 1990)
90. Temblores (Ron Underwood, 1990)
91. Clearcut (Ryszard Bugajski, 1991)
92. Mississippi Masala (Mira Nair, 1991)
93. Un lugar en el mundo (Adolfo Aristarain, 1992)
94. Anchoress (Chris Newby, 1993)
95. Dark Waters (Mariano Baino, 1993)
96. Lo que queda del día (James Ivory, 1993)
97. Lazos Ardientes (The Wachowskis, 1996)
98. Nubes pasajeras (Aki Kaurismaki, 1996)
99. Una gran noche (Stanley Tucci, Campbell Scott, 1996)
100. Salvar al soldado Ryan, (Steven Spielberg, 1998).
101. CQ (Roman Coppola, 2001)
102. Funny ha ha (Andrew Bujalski, 2002)
103. Hotel (Jessica Hausner, 2004)
104. Noroi (Kôji Shiraishi, 2005)
105. The Dark (John Fawcett, 2005)
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CHRONOLOGY OF AMERICAN RACE RIOTS AND RACIAL VIOLENCE p.1
CHRONOLOGY OF AMERICAN RACE RIOTS
AND RACIAL VIOLENCE
1863
January President Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation takes effect.
July Draft riots erupt in New York City.
1865
c. December Ku Klux Klan is founded as a social club for Confederate veterans in Pulaski, Tennessee.
1865–1877
Era of Reconstruction.
1866
May Memphis, Tennessee, riot.
June Charleston, South Carolina, riot.
July New Orleans, Louisiana, riot.
1868
July Ratification of the Fourteenth Amendment.
October Ku Klux Klan–ordered murder of Benjamin Randolph, Republican Party activist and African American delegate to the South Carolina Constitutional Convention.
1869
Knights of Labor are founded in Philadelphia.
1870
March Ratification of the Fifteenth Amendment.
1872
White League is active in attacking and intimidating blacks and Republicans in Louisiana.
1875
White Democrats regain political control of Mississippi by employing a campaign of violence known as shotgun policy to prevent blacks and Republicans from voting in state elections.
1890–1960
More than 4,700 African Americans are lynched during this seventy-year span.
1892
Ida B. Wells-Barnett publishes her first anti-lynching pamphlet, ‘‘Southern Horrors: Lynch Law in All Its Phases.’’
May Ida B. Wells-Barnett publishes her editorial ‘‘Eight Men Lynched.’’
1894
Monett, Missouri, riot.
1895
Ida B. Wells-Barnett publishes her second anti-lynching pamphlet, ‘‘A Red Record.’’
September– December
The Cotton States and International Exposition in Atlanta showcases the racial achievements of the New South; Booker T. Washington delivers a speech, later called the ‘‘Atlanta Compromise’’ speech by critics, at the opening of the Exposition on September 18. 1896
May U.S. Supreme Court upholds the ‘‘separate but equal’’ doctrine in Plessy v. Ferguson.
July National Association of Colored Women (NACW) is formed in Washington, D.C.
1898
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Players summary
All posts of a specific player. The players listed here are ordered alphabetically and only players are listed that have appeared on this blog.
A
• 🔗 Abdelhamid Sabiri 🇲🇦
• 🔗 Achraf Hakimi 🇲🇦
• 🔗 Allan Saint-Maximin 🇫🇷
• 🔗 Alphonso Davies 🇨🇦
• 🔗 Amine Adli 🇫🇷
• 🔗 Amine Harit 🇲🇦
• 🔗 André Trinidade 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Andrey Santos 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Ansu Fati 🇪🇸
• 🔗 Antonee Robinson 🇺🇸
• 🔗 Antonio Rüdiger 🇩🇪
• 🔗 Ashley Young 🏴
• 🔗 Aurélien Tchouaméni 🇫🇷
B
• 🔗 Ben Godfrey 🏴
• 🔗 Breel Embolo 🇨🇭
• 🔗 Bruno Guimaraes 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Bukayo Saka 🏴
C
• 🔗 Christian Kouamé 🇨🇮
• 🔗 Christopher Scott 🇩🇪
• 🔗 Cody Gakpo 🇳🇱
D
• 🔗 David Alaba 🇦🇹
• 🔗 David Neres 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Dayot Upamecano 🇫🇷
• 🔗 Denzel Dumfries 🇳🇱
• 🔗 Duván Zapata 🇨🇴
E
• 🔗 Eduardo Camavinga 🇫🇷
• 🔗 #Ellis Harrison 🏴
• 🔗 Ezri Konsa 🏴
F
• 🔗 Francis Amuzu 🇧🇪
G
• 🔗 Gabriel Jesus 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Gabriel Martinelli 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Gavin Bazunu 🇮🇪
• 🔗 Geisson Perea 🇨🇴
• 🔗 Geoffrey Kondogbia 🇨🇫
H
• 🔗 Hee-Chan Hwang 🇰🇷
• 🔗 Hueng-min Son 🇰🇷
I
• 🔗 Ibrahima Konaté 🇫🇷
• 🔗 Irfan Fandi Ahmad 🇸🇬
J
• 🔗 Jacob Ramsey 🏴
• 🔗 Jeffrey Schlupp 🇬🇭
• 🔗 Jeremy Doku 🇧🇪
• 🔗 Jesse Lingard 🏴
• 🔗 Joao Gomes 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Joe Gomez 🏴
• 🔗 Jonathan David 🇨🇦
• 🔗 Joshua Zirkzee 🇳🇱
• 🔗 Jude Bellingham 🏴
• 🔗 Jules Koundé 🇫🇷
• 🔗 Julian Alvarez 🇦🇷
• 🔗 Jurriën Timber 🇳🇱
• 🔗 Justin Kluivert 🇳🇱
K
• 🔗 Keshi Anderson 🏴
• 🔗 Kingsley Coman 🇫🇷
• 🔗 Kylian Mbappé 🇫🇷
L
• 🔗 Lautaro Martinez 🇦🇷
• 🔗 Leon Bailey 🇯🇲
• 🔗 Leroy Sané 🇩🇪
• 🔗 Lisandro Martinez 🇦🇷
• 🔗 Lyle Foster 🇿🇦
M
• 🔗 Manuel Akanji 🇨🇭
• 🔗 Manuel Benson 🇧🇪
• 🔗 Marcus Rashford 🏴
• 🔗 Mario Lemina 🇬🇦
• 🔗 Matheus Pereira 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Michy Batshuayi 🇧🇪
N
• 🔗 Nathan Aké 🇳🇱
O
• 🔗 Odion Ighalo 🇳🇬
• 🔗 Ollie Watkins 🏴
P
• 🔗 Paulinho 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Pedri 🇪🇸
• 🔗 Pervis Estupiñán 🇪🇨
Q
• 🔗 Quincy Promes 🇳🇱
R
• 🔗 Raheem Sterling 🏴
• 🔗 Reece James 🏴
• 🔗 Renato Sanches 🇵🇹
• 🔗 Rico Lewis 🏴
• 🔗 Rodri 🇪🇸
• 🔗 Rodrygo Goes 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Romain Saiss 🇲🇦
• 🔗 Romelu Lukaku 🇧🇪
• 🔗 Romeo Lavia 🇧🇪
• 🔗 Ronald Araujo 🇺🇾
• 🔗 Ryan Gravenberch 🇳🇱
S
• 🔗 Salomon Kalou 🇨🇮
• 🔗 Samuel Da Granada 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Steven Bergwijn 🇳🇱
T
• 🔗 Tajon Buchanan 🇨🇦
• 🔗 Tammy Abraham 🏴
• 🔗 Thiago Silva 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Trent Alexander-Arnold 🏴
• 🔗 Tyrone Mings 🏴
V
• 🔗 Vincent Kompany 🇧🇪
• 🔗 Vinicius Jr 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Virgil Van Dijk 🇳🇱
• 🔗 Vitinho 🇧🇷
• 🔗 Vitor Jacaré 🇧🇷
W
• 🔗 Weston McKennie 🇺🇸
• 🔗 Wilfried Bony 🇨🇮
• 🔗 Wilfried Zaha 🇨🇮
X
• 🔗 Xavi Simons 🇳🇱
Y
• 🔗 Yeboah Amankwah 🇬🇭
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