#Trauma From Lucifer's Cage (Supernatural) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

franklespine · 6 months

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Lucifer telling Sam "you've gone soft" in 11.10 is soooooooooooooooo...

Yes it's all a manipulation tactic, but Lucifer walking Sam through his memories, things that seem a lifetime ago, saying this is how you were before: bold and decisive - this is the Sam that saved the world, this isn't you anymore - when Lucifer is the reason why Sam is the way he is now. Insane. There are rare moments of gold in supernatural and one of them is when they play on the psychological horror in the fact that Lucifer; his torturer, tormentor, abuser and other half of his soul is the one that knows him best. He knows how powerless Sam feels - now that he's got lifetimes of trauma from the Cage that have skinned and flayed him on every level. His rigorous, borderline obsessive routine he keeps in his daily life through exercising and healthy eating - all to maintain a semblance of control. Yet deep down, it's like he told Rowena in s13:

"It’s not going to change anything. You’re still going to feel helpless."

Just as Lucifer knew that playing on Sam's desperate faith in religion and scramble to achieve purity (to be saved - as he said in s2) would be the only thing to get him to even go near the Cage, Lucifer knows that throwing back in his face his increased docility as time goes on as Sam's true failure and the reason why he will fail everyone around him is the only thing that could make Sam let himself be Lucifer's vessel. The way he spins it to sound like Sam not letting Lucifer out is proof of his weakness and helplessness. What if that was my last straw?

This scene, this whole episode, was so good and it made me want to claw my eyes out.

Lucifer calls him prissy. He says I never liked you but at this point - when you made the hard choice to save the world and condemned yourself in the Cage to me in holy matrimony, I respected you. You're not that person anymore. You're soft and placid and weak and that's something to be ashamed of. You're going to doom the world now because you're too screwed in the head. Look at you and your first romantic affairs when you were younger - Solid B on the tongue action - yes I know that about you too.

Lucifer being all righteous in saying that its the fact that Sam and Dean would do anything to save each other that is the problem that keeps dooming the world. And it's horrible because Sam knows he's right, the viewer knows he's right - their codependency is their moral pitfall, but it's all spiraling to the worst conclusion.

Tell you what - the second half of s11 can shove it's sympathy for the devil routine down my throat all it wants, but I will never stop hating that slimy bastard. The potential of s11 was unmatched in reaping psychological warfare on Sam, and it was a shame that it played out in such a... goofy... unnuanced... cheap semblance of a redemption arc... way that it did. But still, it is scenes like this one that pull through to make the season worth it.

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hello-starlingfics · 5 months

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Title: Put My Feet On The Ground (AO3)

Rated: Explicit

Word count: 18,876

Warnings: Discussion of past rape and its trauma, one homophobic slur

Tags: Sam Winchester-centric, Curtain Fic, Retired Hunter Winchesters, Brother/Brother Incest, Discussion of Rape Trauma, Oral Sex, Mutual Masturbation, Intercrural Sex, Incest Kink, Post-Episode AU: s15e19 Inherit the Earth (Supernatural), PTSD, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester First Time Having Sex, Scars, Cute Dates With Your Brother, Sam Winchester Has Trauma From Lucifer's Cage, Dean Winchester Has Trauma From Hell

Author's note: Written for the @spnproshipbang. The beautiful artwork within is by the super-talented @thegoodthebadandtheart — please show your appreciation for their incredible creations here!

Summary: In the wake of the defeat of Chuck, Sam takes a chance with Dean that puts them both on a different path. While navigating a sexual relationship after years of trauma, they build a new life together.

Thanks go to @catnipster69 and @klove0511 for their amazing beta work on this. You have both made this fic immeasurably better 💜

Many thanks also to the mods of this event and the wonderful people of the event Discord for the mutually supportive environment.

As always, thanks to @fahre for acting as a sounding board and above and beyond encouragement, especially when they don’t even go here 💜

#spnproshipbang #wincest fanfiction #wincest fic #Wincest #my fic

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holyfreaks · 3 months

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family tree 'verse masterlist

chronological order:

even if we died tonight, I'd die yours

warnings/tags: underage kissing, pre-canon, forbidden love, religious imagery and symbolism, implied/referenced underage sex, codependency, pov dean winchester

rating: M

words: 1.5k

summary: (It's a home inside of an abandoned house, it's love inside a family that should be wrong but feels so right.)

Dean and Sam. 1999.

still tied to me

warnings/tags: sibling incest, religious imagery and symbolism, religious guilt, forbidden love, shame, past underage, codependency, suicidal thoughts, stanford era, implied/referenced alcohol abuse/alcoholism, blow jobs, bulimia, coitus interruptus, unhealthy coping mechanisms, masturbation

rating: E

words: 1.7k

summary: Dean and Sam are states away from each other but can't stop thinking about the other.

(Neither of them know how much longer they can go on like this.)

making love in our own grave

warnings/tags: sibling incest, religious imagery and symbolism, religious guilt, forbidden love, set during season 1, codependency, pov sam winchester, blow jobs, anal sex, dirty talk, alcohol, top dean/bottom sam, past underage sex

rating: E

words: 3k

summary: He prays, if it's so wrong, then how can it feel so right? How it can it feel like Dean completes him, that Dean is the missing piece of him?

(There's no answer to his prayers. But Dean answers anyways.)

where happiness ends and dies with you

warnings/tags: sibling incest, religious imagery and symbolism, set during season 3, pov dean winchester, marijuana, blow jobs, rimming, anal sex, top sam/bottom dean, orgasm control

rating: E

words: 2k

summary: Dean's not gonna beg for God to save him now.

(Sam saved him a long time ago.)

you were my whole world

warnings/tags: sibling incest, codependency, suicidal thoughts, pov sam winchester, minor ruby/sam, set between s3 and s4, grief/mourning, canonical character death, unhealthy coping mechanisms, implied/referenced alcohol abuse, demon sex, vaginal sex, demon blood

rating: E

words: 1.3k

summary: Sam is lost to his storm of grief.

(Ruby shows him the way out.)

I tried to be good, am I no good?

warnings/tags: past rape/noncon, rape aftermath, past torture, aftermath of torture, set during season 7, pov sam winchester, PTSD, trauma from lucifer's cage, implied/referenced self harm, angst, hurt/comfort, religious imagery and symbolism, religious guilt, self-worth issues

rating: M

words: 2k

summary: Maybe it was penance. Maybe it was because he is fundamentally unclean. Maybe it corrupted him beyond repair.

hit 'em twice as hard

(Dean loves him anyways.)

sweet mourning lamb

warnings/tags: sibling incest, codependency, established relationship, religious imagery and symbolism, religious guilt, sick sam winchester, protective dean winchester, weirdcest, pov sam winchester, pov dean winchester, trauma from lucifer's cage, angst and fluff and hurt/comfort

rating: M

words: 1.9k

summary: The lamb is brought to the slaughter and says thank you, Lord.

(Sam is completing the trials. Dean tries to take care of him.)

warnings/tags: sibling incest, religious imagery and symbolism, codependency, set during season 10, mark of cain, blood and violence, possessive dean winchester, rimming, anal sex, bondage, rough sex, dubious consent, PTSD

rating: E

words: 1.4k

summary: Everything about Dean is rougher, calloused. He's still Dean, but the softer parts of him are buried underneath rage and spite.

(Sam is still drawn to him.

Bleeding for love has always kinda been their thing.)

cannot escape his mother's blood

warnings/tags: sibling incest, codependency, set during season 12, established relationship, bottom dean/top sam, porn with plot, alive mary winchester, pov multiple, dirty talk, rimming, blow jobs, anal sex, angst with a happy ending

rating: E

words: 4k

summary: Something is off with her boys. Mary knows it.

(She doesn't know if she wants to know it.)

family tree 'verse tag on my blog

#wincest #wincest fic #samdean #samdean fic #spn #nep's fanfic #family tree 'verse #fic masterlist #you dont have to read them in order for it to make sense <3 #sam winchester #dean winchester

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scoobydoodean · 10 months

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I think I've determined one thing that bothers me about fandom's use of the word "autonomy", and it's that it's used in such a broad context, with an implication that any action to which the term can be applied automatically implies injustice, victimhood, and villainy. I can then build a framework where anything that is technically a violation of someone's autonomy victimizes them and makes every action taken against them unjust and villainous.

The Shtriga (Dr. Hydecker) in "Something Wicked" just wanted to eat. He got shot and killed while he was only trying to live his life, doing his own thing—the ultimate violation of autonomy.

Chuck's autonomy was violated when Sam, Dean, and Jack took away his powers. He was permanently injured, in fact.

Lucifer and Michael's autonomy was violated by sucking them into The Cage in season 5.

All of these things are technically violations of these characters autonomy. Yet their loss of autonomy doesn't imply injustice nor does it imply pure blameless victimhood, nor does it implicate Sam, Dean, Jack, Cas, or Bobby as villains.

Looking at another, very different set of examples,

It was a violation of Bobby's autonomy when Sam and Dean went into Bobby's head without permission in 3.10 to snap him out of a supernaturally-induced, eternal nightmare.

It was a violation of Dean's autonomy when Sam forcefully plucked one of Dean's hairs and refused to accept Dean's desire to go into his own dreams alone for his own privacy.

It was a violation of Dean's autonomy when Sam and Cas entered his head in season 14 and saw all of his trauma in the process.

It was a violation of Sam's autonomy when his soul was removed from The Cage and placed back inside his body.

None of these actions imply villainy. Sam and Dean's violation of Bobby's autonomy, for example, occurs in an effort to return Bobby's autonomy to him, in a situation where Bobby was physically incapable of advocating in his own interest (and the same for Dean with Michael!)

If I view Sam insisting on going into Dean's head in 3.10 in a vacuum, the conclusion I might come to is that Sam doesn't care about Dean's autonomy and feels entitled to violate Dean's privacy because he doesn't believe Dean deserves a right to the privacy of his own mind. Outside of that vacuum, I understand Sam's motivations are not to disrespect Dean's privacy or harm Dean, but are instead to assist Dean and help Dean defeat the person who does intend to harm Dean through the already present violation of Dean's autonomy.

In the situation with Sam's soul, Sam's essence (his soul) is very presently experiencing the repeated violation of his autonomy in The Cage, being tortured, and like Bobby was grateful to be helped out of the nightmare in 3.10, Sam, who was not able to advocate for himself from the perspective of his soul, was also grateful to have his soul returned to him so he could be saved from a nightmare where his soul was not capable of advocating for it's own interest—only his meatsuit for its interest.

What I'm saying is, the word "autonomy" is not the end all be all of everything, and saying something violated a character's autonomy does not automatically grant you The Most Morally Correct Award™️. This said completely separately from "who has their autonomy violated the most"—in fact, I'm not sure what the point of that contest is, beyond feeling it allows you to “win” something or your obsession with a certain aesthetic. While questions of free will and the right to your own choices are very important themes in Supernatural, I find some fans display a sort of desperation to greedily sweep everything under "autonomy" as an umbrella term because they erroneously believe it automatically grants them a Moral Superiority Award™️ and/or Most Victimized Blorbo Of All Time Award™️... and that is the beginning and end of their goal when talking about it, and it's why context is so often thrown aside while moral judgements are so abundant in that segment of spnblr.

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sounknownvoid · 10 months

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robbed of sam's c-ptsd

So im watching this show called absentia which is quite unexpectedly good - in it the female lead is kidnapped n tortured for 6xyears and drowned and choked,beaten etc,etc - upon release, she discovers that her husband, believing her dead, has remarried and her son now thinks of someone else as mum and she still has absolutely horrendous ptsd with shakes n flashbacks that has her immobile, gasping for breath and choking and terrified and then she gets into drugs n alcohol as she tries to cope and shes so angry and jitterry etc etc, her body is scarred all over - scars that itch psycho-somatically etc too..and yet shes also shown kickun ass and takung names and being a general BAMF - theres this whole journey of her recovery in the aftermath alongside her strength and her resilience is clearly shown but in an understated manner....

And to me, thats the road not taken by supernatural about sams cage trauma and return and his subsequent ptsd in following years.... jared padalecki tried to inject some if it in his acting by doing his own research - but without the support from the writers and the story-focus itself, it didnt have the full context for non-trauma-informed viewers to grasp what they were seeing...

We were robbed of sam post cage n recovery journey and it would have made the season when lucifer is back to battle the darkness in the bunker 10xtimes more horrific and clearly shown how much strength and courage it took from sam to find himself back in the cage and tell him no to his face or depth n agony of his shame and despondency when hes resurrected by lucifer in alternate world.... thered have been so much more depth and character develooment for both sam n dean as the brother who truly sees and understamds what it is to see hell-experience from the other side - hed tortured others but what it can do to someone he loves and cares about and how to support someone like that - it could have become the trigger for him to finally share himself emotionally, truly and even understand himself and sam more - development for dean as well as the relationship - & so itd have made his subsequent offer to become the "soul-bomb' to get rid of amara that much more terrible - for hes made all these great strides and his relationship is finally sorta getting ok with sam and hes still willing to sacrifice himself - a true hero instead of just someone who'd had that label slapped on him as it felt like often...the impact of his actions would have been that much more greater - if we'd been allowed to fully see that journey .... but they didnt...we got idiotic leviathans and stupid purgatory and amelia instead and bluueegghhhhazhzgshajabzba... ill go back to my corner now, thanks for listening

#Absentias treatment of ptsd made me think of sams cage trauma and recovery #All other shows relate back to supernatural in my head #lucifer n sam winchester #supernatural #sam winchester #spn brainrot #Spn is insane

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boykingofhellsam · 10 months

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Title: Folie à deux by Cursedobjects - @boykingofhellsam

Warnings: Graphic Descriptions of Violence, Self-Harm, Self-Mutation, Torture.

Rating: Explicit - Sexual Themes.

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, Lucifer, Castiel, Death, Crowley.

Relationship: Sam Winchester/Lucifer (Samifer)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hallucination Lucifer,| Hallucifer, Sam Winchester on Demon Blood, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester, Stockholm Syndrome, Obsessive Behaviour, Mental Instability, Sam Winchester has Mental Health Issues, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Trauma From Lucifers Cage, Self Mutilation, Self Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, Hallucinations, Delusions, Explicit Sexual Content, Blood and Gore, Murder, Lucifer Possessing Sam Winchester, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Soul Bond, Smut, Worship, One-Shot.

Summary:

The wall didnt fall; it tore him apart, cracks digging deep into his core. It Ripped Sam to pieces, revealing what was truly left. All he knew, all that he was, belonged to Lucifer.

#spn #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #lucifer spn #samifer #spn lucifer #my fics #my fanfic #spn season 7 #sammifer #sam x lucifer #lucifer x sam #my fic: fad

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dious-chaos · 1 month

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I've been deeply delving into Supernatural at the moment and I just put something together that I felt should be out in the interwebs.

Dean Winchester and his layers

Obviously we have the stuff everyone already knows right? He likes pie, he has anger issues, he feels overprotective of Sam. But Dean is actually incredibly intelligent yet downplays it for Sam (nothing against Sam cuz I love that man too) and everyone else, some examples of that: He made his own emf reader out of a cassette player and electromagnet from a microwave, he hacked/disarmed a museums security alarm, referenced Vonnegut; Homer; Lord of the Flies and Tolkien, watched and loved Star Trek, he plays dress up/cosplays/larps, etc. Dean was also the one who cared about holidays, trying so hard to give them to little Sammy, and being hurt when adult Sam wanted none of it. Dean had to take on the role of mom and dad for Sam his entire life, even going hungry so his little boy didn’t. He's an amazing cook, has crazy good mechanical skills, loves anything to do with music- karaoke, guitars on his wall, cassette to Cas- and Dean even had a career picked out which had nothing to do with hunting… he wanted to be a firefighter. Dean even took a teaching role as PE teacher in one episode when he could've picked anything else, that just builds a better image of the caring man Dean raised himself to be. Not to mention the fact that when Sam was in the cage with Lucifer Dean GOT OUT!! He wanted that apple pie life, the life he pushed Sam into his whole life because he knew only one of them would get that chance… and of course he'd want it to be his brother/son.

He grew up to hide his wants and dreams in order to please the man who only wanted a soldier, Dean even went so far as seeing his own life as less than Sam and pushing to die instead of the brother he took care of alone. Dean gained food insecurity, he never knew when he would get to eat and we see this throughout the show as he shoves any free food into his mouth like he'll never eat again. He also showed signs of CPTSD, a mental health condition that can develop if you experience chronic (long-term) trauma.

It involves stress responses, such as: Anxiety (maybe like how got scared and he immediately apologized after not shooting John, and then knew it wasn’t his father because the demon wasn’t upset), Having flashbacks or nightmares (post hell is the first thing that comes to mind), Avoiding situations (trying to keep the peace between Sam and John), places and other things related to the traumatic event (avoiding Lawrence KS for decades), Heightened emotional responses, such as impulsivity or aggressiveness (he gets really upset in difficult conversations first and then the other emotions come later), Persistent difficulties in sustaining relationships (come on, Dean is a ladies man).

Examples of chronic trauma include: Long-term child physical or sexual abuse (tell me that John didn’t physically abuse or "discipline" his boys), Long-term domestic violence (again.. Physical abuse by John), Being a victim of human or sex trafficking (not canon… but it could have happened in all the years his father neglected them and fucked off to fight the monsters while his own kids struggled to get by), War (hunter and monsters are at war), Frequent community violence (hunters and monsters alike can be POS). While CPTSD is often associated with chronic trauma in childhood, adults who experience chronic trauma can also develop the condition (which means it only gets worse for Dean as he gets older and doesn't get help for it).

So yeah. Dean deserved better than a piece of rebar at the ass end of Supernatural, that’s all..

#dean winchester #dean winchester deserved better #john winchester sucked #good brother dean winchester #dean winchester is a better dad to sam

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ladylilithprime · 1 year

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FIC: Tom Hanks, Eat Your Heart Out

Written for @heavenandhellbingo Square: Repaying A Debt

Written for @duckprintspress May Trope Mayhem Day 24: Interspecies Relationship

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Rating: Teen and Up

Word Count: 2882

Summary: Gabriel likes to pop in on his favorite hunters and his best little brother to make sure they're doing okay and not in danger of dying or breaking the world again. Finding Sam chilling in a tiny motel bathtub with a massive scaled and finned tail was definitely a new one, though.

Tags/Warnings: Involuntary Species Change, Dean Being An Impulsive Idiot, References To Canon Torture, Winchester Guilt Complexes

Read on AO3

IF HE EVER managed to discover the twist of fate (or Fate) that had Frigga showing up in the middle of Loki's diatribe against the death of Odin and broken vows made to gods, Gabriel was absolutely going to have to do some pretty grand gestures of gratitude. Despite still being visibly in mourning for her murdered husband, Frigga had been absolutely incensed over what Loki had planned to do to the Archangel "in retribution" for something that she had already Seen wasn't even his fault and which he had tried repeatedly to stop to his own detriment. Furthermore, given her general purview, Frigga had already "read ahead in this story" and had no intention of losing more family members to senseless acts of unnecessary revenge.

"All that research you have done into binding an Archangel might be better served offered to that little Seraph who is trying to keep our Gabriel's third brother from picking up where the eldest two left off before his desperation drives him to do something all of us will regret," she had told Loki tartly, and promptly taken Gabriel out of her brother-in-law's presence and off to the tender mercies of Asgard's healers.

Gabriel heard about the eventual showdown after the fact once Eir had deigned to release him from her clutches and he had managed to track down the "little Seraph" in question. Castiel had been understandably wary to have another Archangel in front of him so soon after having dealt with Raphael, but he was at least willing to listen when Gabriel explained where he had been (stuck in Asgard first in their prison because Loki was pissed off that Lucifer killed Odin, and then in the Healers' Hall) and what he wanted (to find out what the hell was going on because the rumors were wild) and what he planned to do now (to go back to as much of his former life here on Earth as he could manage, preferably with less dying). Hearing from Castiel about the second War of Heaven was heart-wrenching enough that Gabriel was begrudgingly willing to admit that Frigga and Eir had been right to keep him bedridden for as long as they had. Hearing what had happened to Sam and Dean Winchester while said second War was happening had not been any better, especially when he heard about the damage to Sam's soul and how one of Raphael's agents had broken the wall in his mind that Death had put up as a distraction technique, and to his own aggravated dismay Gabriel felt a very strong need to see them for himself to make sure they were really all right now.

He had been expecting just about anything from a holy fire Molotov (nice one, Cassie) to an attempted staking for old time's sake. He had not been expecting to find Dean on the verge of a nervous breakdown carefully hidden behind a mask of rage while Sam thrashed on the floor as if reacting to blows from an unseen opponent in eerie silence. Hallucinations, Castiel had whispered silently across their Grace connection, brought on by the trauma inflicted on his soul in the Cage. And that... that was equal parts heartbreaking and horrifying, because it was Gabriel's brothers who had done this to Sam and it had been Gabriel's desperate Hail Mary half a plan that had led to them doing it. The guilt that swamped him in that moment of realization was probably what made him temporarily take leave of his senses enough to show himself, ignoring Dean's startled cursing and the resulting scuffle as Castiel had to wrestle the agitated hunter's gun away from him when Gabriel's Grace touched Sam and the younger hunter started screaming. Healing wasn't his forte, but Gabriel was all too familiar with his brothers' respective tactics and handiwork, and he had just enough of his energy left to see Sam's eyes flutter open, clear and aware and wide with shock, before Gabriel's own rolled back and his Grace shut down his vessel to conserve itself enough to heal again.

The fact that he woke up some two months later in a human hospital was both reassuring and a little disheartening, but at least the Winchesters hadn't just left him on the floor of that rickety old cabin.

It only took a day to discover that they hadn't actually left him as Sam appeared in the doorway to his hospital room just before visiting hours would have been over, Dean not far behind. The relief on the younger Winchester's face at seeing him awake was a surprise, as was the dismay that replaced it when Gabriel asked if Sam was okay.

"Am I okay?" Sam had exclaimed incredulously. "Cas said you just got done healing when you showed up and promptly put yourself into a coma fixing my head, and you ask me if I'm okay?!"

"Well, I'd hate for my efforts to be wasted, but there's only so much of your head I can fix," Gabriel had deflected jokingly, only to end up with an armful of emotional hunter who couldn't seem to decide between laughing and crying and so was doing both at once.

"Man, you gotta stop dying on us, Gabe," Dean said over his brother's sobs in a tone that more closely matched Gabriel's own, if a bit more gruff. "It's becoming a habit."

"I'll try and break it if you two chuckleheads do," Gabriel grumbled irritably, and was rewarded with a somewhat wet laugh into his shoulder.

It took about as long for them to hash out just what that deal would end up looking like as it did for Gabriel to be discharged from the hospital, bills paid with his own money and prescriptions for painkillers that were promptly discarded. It had to be renegotiated when Abaddon showed up chasing Henry Winchester through time and the brothers almost didn't call him because he was only a week out of the hospital and they didn't immediately think a Knight of Hell qualified as an emergency. Eventually they settled into something of a loose sort of check-in schedule that worked for all of them so long as they pretended that it was just about hanging out.

To everyone's surprise except Castiel's, that worked out just fine.

Or at least it was supposed to. Gabriel was starting to have some doubts about that as he stared in dismay at the sight in front of him. He had privately entertained more than three or four fantasies about popping in on the Winchesters to find Sam naked in the bath, but this was a far cry from what his imagination usually conjured up. For one thing, the bathtub in question was a tiny and cramped motel bathtub instead of a jaccuzzi the size of a king bed. For another, the already tiny tub appeared even tinier when Sam's lower half was distinctly less human-shaped than Gabriel was used to.

Gabriel let his eyes rake over the usually long and lanky form that was now even longer, giving visual appreciation to the more familiar but still rarely seen bare arms and shoulders and well-sculpted muscled torso and abs. His eyes tracked further to where the sun-bronzed skin became shimmery with tiny translucent scales that got bigger and more vibrant as they went down, normally long and powerful legs now fused together into a single solid limb that could never even hope to be contained by the tub's short and narrow dimensions. Sam himself clearly realized it, too, as the end of his tail was draped over the edge of the bathtub and curled partially back, giving Gabriel an excellent view of the spiny fan of a translucent green and bronze caudal fin. He glanced back up beneath the water line and, sure enough, there were the shapes of somewhat squished pelvic fins and, at the underside of Sam's ribcage, the telltale gaping curves of gills awkwardly trying to breathe in the still, unmoving tub of water that was barely enough to keep him wet.

And he was still unfairly gorgeous.

"I don't even know where to start with this one," Gabriel said at length, thus also announcing his presence to Sam, who startled hard enough to send water splashing out of the tub.

"Gabriel!" he yelped, hands going reflexively but futilely to the area of his body that was usually much more potentially interesting to look at, then jerking his hands away again as his fingers brushed over shining green-and-bronze scales. "A little warning, maybe?"

"Shouldn't that be my line?" Gabriel asked, his eyebrows going up as he leaned his shoulder against the door jamb. "Or did you think this new look you're sporting didn't fall under the Third Commandments Tablet?"

"I'm not dying or even injured and I'm not facing off against a high ranking demon," Sam pointed out with a frown. "Not facing off against anything like this unless we get another ghost ship case."

"Commandment thirteen," Gabriel intoned, beginning to grin as Sam abruptly looked distinctly hunted. "Thou shalt not keep Gabriel out of the loop of big changes. Hate to break it to ya, Samperch, but changing species absolutely counts as a big change."

"It's temporary," Sam insisted, then scowled. "Or at least it was supposed to be, according to Cas. Dean got me this pendant that was labeled as a protective amulet because of the way that vamp nest last week tried to use me as a chew toy, which would have been fine except none of us thought to check up on the exact nature of the spells on the pendant beyond getting Cas to scan it for harmful magics just in case."

"At least you got him to check it at all," Gabriel broke in with a huff. He was starting to get the picture of what might have happened. "Let me guess, the pendant was an engraved cowrie shell strung on leather cording with coral beads?"

"You've heard of it," Sam sighed. "Of course you have. So you can guess what happened when I went to take a shower and Dean's idea of a solution to it."

"He broke the cowrie shell?"

"He broke the cowrie shell," Sam groaned. "And when that didn't work to change me back he salted and burned the whole damn necklace, and only decided to call Cas when that didn't work, at which point Cas informed him that if he had just left the necklace alone I could have dried off and changed back and then remembered to take the thing off to shower from now on, but now..."

"Now you have to find a mermaid enclave with one of their shamans who is willing to make a new pendant for you," Gabriel concluded. "Or rather, Dean does since he's the one who broke it and you're not exactly well versed in swimming with that fintastic new tail of yours to make the trip underwater."

"Not that Dean would be happy about letting me go off alone like this anyway," Sam said with a shake of his head. "He went back to the place that sold him the original pendant to see if they have any more first and Cas went with him to try and be a restraining influence with a promise to fly back if something happens and I need help."

Well, that explained why Sam had been left alone in a motel bathtub, at least. A cursory glance around the tiny bathroom showed a few bottles of water, some protein bars, and a small stack of books on the back of the toilet along with a plastic jar of what looked like salt. "I'm hoping the place isn't far, then?"

"It's in Maine," Sam deadpanned. Gabriel groaned inwardly. They were currently in Kentucky. "Fortunately, Dean was willing to concede that letting Cas fly him there and back once he gets a replacement pendant made logical sense, no matter his usual discomfort with taking Angel Air, so..."

"So they should hopefully be back once Dean learns that it's really rare for the enclaves to let one of their pendants fall into human hands for exactly this reason and the only reliable way to maybe get a new one is to find a mermaid shaman and sweet talk her into letting you at least borrow one for long enough to change back," Gabriel summarized. "And because this is Dean-o, the chances of him managing that are about even with the chances of him sticking his foot in his mouth, and he wouldn't think to call me about it either."

Sam paused and gave Gabriel a shrewd, narrow look that the Archangel tried not to let get to him beyond a pointed raising of his eyebrows. After a moment, Sam snorted softly, the caudal fin twitching where it lay against the water-splashed floor. "If his search back in Maine doesn't turn up anything useful, I was going to suggest calling you. I figured you would at least get a good laugh out of it."

There was a resigned edge to the words, not precisely unhappy so much as displeased. "Already got your fill of the jokes from big bro?"

"I wish," Sam sighed, slumping back into the tiny tub and sloshing the water again, the massive length of his tail arching up out of the water. "He's too busy brooding in guilt because this is technically all his fault, what with giving me the amulet and then breaking and burning it before checking with Cas about the particulars when I ended up half fish. I'm honestly expecting him to have a million jokes to make, most of them about my supposed continued transformations into a Disney princess, but he feels like he can't make any jokes until he's fixed me and it's driving me up the wall!"

"Literally," Gabriel remarked, eyeing the way slick green scales were rubbing up against the wall of the bathroom. One of the scales had detached from Sam's tail and lodged itself in the gap between the edges of the peeling wallpaper, which was going to be interesting for whoever got this room next if the cleaning staff missed it. "Well, I'm here now anyway. You want me to ping Cassie to bring Ahab back?"

"Does that make Cas Ishmael?" Sam snorted. "Sure, might as well, especially if you're right about the rarity of a pendant like that turning up in a coastal antique shop twice, which I can't imagine you wouldn't be."

"Flatterer," Gabriel batted his eyes at Sam even as he reached out to Castiel and sent the Grace equivalent of a polite knock. Come on back, kiddo, Sam's filled me in on the situation and I've got a better solution than old triggerhappy making an ass of himself.

Oh thank Father, Castiel answered in immediate relief. It still took another thirty-seven seconds before the telltale sound of wings rustled in the main part of the motel room, followed by the displacement of air as Castiel and Dean phased back onto the physical plane. "You have a solution, brother?"

"Yup," Gabriel confirmed, popping the 'p' as he twisted around to lean his back against the door jamb so he could see Castiel and Dean while still keeping partial attention on Sam. "Kind of a two-fold solution. First part is I take you all to one of my properties to hang out, untwist, decompress, stretch your legs or leg equivalents--"

"Hey!" Dean protested, getting a very unimpressed look from Gabriel.

"Unclench, buccaneer," he said flatly. "Seriously, we get it, you fucked up, and at least this time it's not actually the end of the world. Besides, I'm pretty sure all three of you would have tried testing me with silver if I wasn't making jokes about it, especially when I can fix it."

"Then why haven't you?" Dean demanded, crossing his arms.

"If you would shut up," Sam piped up from inside the bathroom, "he was about to explain. And I'd like a bit more information on the stretching of leg equivalents, if it's all the same to you!"

"Thank you, Salmon," Gabriel smirked, not even phased when Sam splashed water at him in retaliation. "As I was saying, step one is taking you to one of my properties which, in addition to the usual human-safe entertainments and amenities, also boasts a nice, big salt water infinity pool that will be, heh, infinitely more comfortable for our fine-finned fellow to reside in while I go on a little scavenger hunt of my store rooms to find the ummyndun hafmeyjunnar amulet I picked up about a thousand years ago."

There was a long moment of silence while the Winchesters processed his words and Castiel gave Gabriel a small, relieved smile. And then Dean said in an entirely too calm voice, "Are you seriously telling me that while I've been running around going out of my mind trying to find an impossibly rare piece of jewelry and getting my face slapped by a blonde in a bikini, you've had one of those damn things the whole time?!"

"See what happens when you don't think to call me about something like this right away?" Gabriel couldn't resist snarking cheekily.

"Son of a bitch!"

#supernatural fic #heavenandhellbingo #may trope mayhem #mermay #sabriel

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antigonewinchester · 1 year

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sorry to bother and do not feel pressure to answer if you don't feel like it this is just something i’ve been thinking about, and i didn’t feel like going through all of post-s5 to try and satisfy my curiosity, but are there any instances where sam actually talks about how long he spent in the cage with lucifer? because i see people throwing around numbers a lot, from 200 years to thousands of years, and idk are there any moments where the amount of time sam spent getting tortured is actuallly talked about? or are people just extrapolating from what we've been told about hell+time in s4? what do you think🤔

Not a bother at all! :)

From what I can remember & from checking the Supernatural Wiki, Sam never got a specific number for his time in Hell like Dean did, so people have taken to guessing and extrapolating out how long he was trapped there.

Since we know the Cage was in Hell, I tend to use Dean’s time in Hell as a way of approximating how much time Sam spent there, too. In 4x10, Dean says his 4-ish months in Hell felt "like 40 years”, meaning 1 month on Earth is approximately 10 years in Hell. I actually did some calculations once to see if I could get a specific Time on Earth vs. Time in Hell ratio, and came up with this: If approximately 4 months (120 days) = 40 years (365 X 10 = 14,600 days) > 1 month (30 days/month) = 10 years (3,650 days/year) > then 1 day on Earth = approx 121.6 days in Hell. Based on when Dean died and was resurrected (May 2nd and Sept 18th, respectively), this accounting would technically mean he was there for more than 40 years, as if he’d been in Hell for 138 days, then 138 X 121.6 = 16,780.8 days / 365 days/year = 45.9 years.

Taking the 1 day = 121.66 days and looking at Sam’s time, he went to Hell (also!) on May 2nd, 2010, and then his soul was pulled out of Hell in early December, 2011. (I’m not sure on these exact years within the show, but it is implied that Dean spent a year with Lisa, met up with soulless!Sam after that year, and then timing of the plot approximately followed the timing of the show’s airing.) Let’s say December 2nd, 2011, is when Death pulled Sam’s soul out of Hell, just to keep it simple. That would makes Sam’s time in Hell 365 days + 215 days = 580 days. 580 X 121.6 = 70,528 days / 365 days/year = 193.2 years.

I suspect where people are getting the ‘Sam spent thousands of years in Hell’ idea is from 6x14, where Sam remembers his time in the Cage when he’s unconscious for 2 – 3 minutes and then tells Dean that this time felt like “about a week.” If 3 minutes = 1 week (or 10,080 minutes) > 1 min on Earth = 3,360 minutes in the Cage. 60 mins X 24 hrs = 1,440 mins / day on Earth > 1,440 X 3,360 = 4,838,400 mins per day in the Cage as 1 day on Earth. 580 days X 4,838,400 mins = 2,806,272,000 minutes / 60 mins/hr = 46,771,200 hrs / 24hrs/day = 1,948,800 days / 365 days/yr = 5,339.17 years in the Cage.

Now, I don’t think the writers were likely thinking of Sam or Dean’s times in Hell is this specific detail. Dean’s “40 years” in particular feels like it’s meant to evoke Biblical stories, like God telling Noah it would rain for 40 days & 40 nights during the flood, Moses being on Mount Sinai for 40 days & nights, or Jesus wandering the wilderness and rejecting Satan’s temptations over 40 days. Dean’s “40” being years is a way of further emphasizing the horror of Hell & his experiences there, as well as more metaphorically evoking the time dilation of trauma & traumatic events.

Imo, this kind of metaphorical read also applies to Sam's 3 minutes = 1 week in the Cage flashback. I do not think this was intended to line up with Sam's actual time in the Cage, as Sam isn’t physically going back to the Cage but only remembering his time there. This kind of time disparity again evokes traumatic events and how someone’s experience of time can be affected by both trauma and their remembering of it. It’s also another way the narrative can emphasize why getting rid of Sam’s wall would be a really really bad idea… which then makes Cas breaking Sam’s wall at the end of the season such an Oh Shit!! moment.

#asks #sam #dean #dean & hell #sam & hell #thank you for the ask!#also i really really hope i did my math right here lol #personally while it's fun to try to get specific numbers i don't think there's a 'real' answer here #and it's enough for me to know that sam spent A Long time in Hell and it was Bad; that's its importance w/in the story #also tbh 5000+ years just feel. kind of absurd. hard to take seriously as compared to 193 yrs you know?

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