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lover-of-trash-and-people · 3 years

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shadow and bone rewatch s1e6 while drinking mid-range scotch

I wish I have a face that is as unlined and pretty as Ben Barnes' when I'm 39

Arken you dirty dirty liar

the face Alek is making at his lies that he knows are lies firstly because he knows the art of lying so well and also because he can read people very well

okay Ivan is kind of a bad bitch with his smirk at Arken's lies

alek's eyes narrowing and his little smile when Arken says 'im an entertainer' bitch I love this show

*grabs hand, pulls up sleeve, and discovers Arken's hand is full of marks indicating successful passages through the fold* 'well, that is certainly entertaining' I love this man with all my heart

him screaming is so fucking hot, is that weird for me to say

Nina being the Darkling's spy is quite interesting

Ben giving the Darkling crazy eyes when Arken owns up to his guilt is so cool

also wtf is Arken a fool trying to negotiate with possibly the strongest man in the world

kind of loved the darkness literally eating him

also love Alina learning to use her powers better when she is alone than when she is with anyone else, wish we got to see the cut in this season as per the books, ah can't have everything I guess

the camera pan to Jesper's gun at his side, amazing

god Jessie is literally so beautiful I need to see her bring Alina to the peak of her power so bad

netflix you better renew this series to let the plot run to its completion

HOW THE FUCK DID THEY CAST THE CROWS SO PERFECTLY

INEJ FUCKING TREMBLING JUST THE TINIEST BIT AS SHE BOWS SLIGHTLY TO ALINA SGSHSBSJJSJSSJ MY TWO QUEENS

'And where is my Summoner?' my little Darklina heart ouchie I really wish you hadn't used and manipulated her like this Alek it was incredibly fucked up especially considering you actually caught feelings

'Ivan and I won't fail you' oh Fedyor my baby, my angel, you don't deserve what is coming

Helnik literally recreating Titanic lmao stop this is a joke

I too would jump off the raft if I came to consciousness to see a gorgeous woman with magical powers with her hand on my back

omg but why is ryevost so pretty though

'I know exactly how she felt. The King's soldiers treated me the same way... I'm not myself today.' why must you do this to me, why must you fuel my darklina soulmates agenda idiocy

I don't quite think I have a problem with the Zoya Darkling relationship as much as I have a problem with the line they chose to reveal it to use with.

my drink's over and I don't know if I should have another, considering that it's 7 am

the tenderness with which he looks at Zoya and takes her hand and then when he says 'I shall relax when I have Alina' makes me believe more that the man that is reduced to tears time and again in front of Alina could in fact be the master manipulator I know him to be

god I can't wait for Zoya's character arc

'I speak six languages, it's part of my job' why is Nina literally the fucking coolest

Alina blinding the oprichniki was so hot, I can't wait to see more of her power and her ruthlessness

I know I've said it before but good god is Jessie Mei Li gorgeous

HER LITTLE SMILE AMONGST ALL THE PANIC AS SOON AS SHE SEES MAL, THE AUDACITY OF THIS SHOW TO MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY

THE SCORE COMING IN AT THE RIGHT MOMENT, THEIR HANDS MEETING, HER SMILE AGAIN DHDHSBSNSNSNSNAN IM IN PAIN

REALLY?! YOU'RE GONNA GO DIRECTLY FROM MALINA TO HELNIK WITH NO CONCERN FOR MY HEART?

I simply cannot get over Calahan's accent lmao it's really funny

'im not afraid of you' he says to the insanely gorgeous girl with magic

HIM HANGING HIS HEAD IN DEFEAT TO INDICATE NINA HAS MADE VALID POINTS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I CAN'T BREATHE

'You're just a man. Like all the others.' she says and then forgets her train of thought looking at him as he strips. god I love this

not sleeping all night and then scotch is not a good idea, I think

'I promise not to ravish you' 'I hate the way you talk' her hand on his chest, his hand gripping hers, my fucking heart feels like it's about to explode

good god these shooting locations and sets are so beautiful

Alina throwing the flask at Mal and Mal going 'OI!' I fucking can't, I guess I am a

simp for childhood friends to lovers, give me more of that banter and childhood friend energy, I am thriving

wow it literally seems like they took book! Mal sl*tshaming book! Alina and made show! Alina sl*tshame show! Mal, hmm, interesting

'They would have split us up!' MAL'S LITTLE SMILE AT THIS, and the 'You wrote me letters?' Mal's nod, the Malina yearning stare, the Malina hug, 'thank you for finding me' 'always. I'll always find you.' NO MALINA YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE MADE ME ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FERAL

I understand they had to split time between my ravkan babies and the crows and that is why there were several aspects that were sort of not reflected on enough but Alina's training at the Little Palace, Alina's cut, Mal's personality, a teensy bit of backstory for the crows, maybe one lockpicking scene from my boy Kaz

random note: we have far too many idols and paintings and pictures and whatnot of Hindu deities in our house apart from the specially designed temple (we are Hindus, so maybe it's not that weird but it's a little weird)

Kaz's cane is a literal star, it's so beautiful my heart wants to explode

'Why would Heleen get the Crow Club?' *literally fucking gets up and walks aways instead of answering the fucking question* I LITERALLY CAN'T BREATHE I'M LOSING MY MIND

'I know that voice' WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO MAKE ME FIGHT FOR PLATONIC SHIPS IN FANDOMS

'We won't starve' omg get you someone who packs food for you when you go on the run together hiding from your ex who wants to capture you and use your powers as a weapon against your consent

Mal looking surprised at her summoning sunlight, Alina looking cautiously at him waiting for him to disapprove or run for the hills in fear or smth like that, 'I'm sorry it took me this long to see you... But I see you now' my dumb little shipper trash heart ouch

they really said we're gonna feed you this part asian couple as the protagonists in this show in 2021 and guess what I'm eating it's really tasty I'm very satisfied as a south asian

NINA'S LITTLE SMILE WHEN MATTHIAS WAKES UP WITH HIS ARM AROUND HER

'I can feel how much you hate sleeping next to me' 👀👀👀 BITCH SAID IMMA SPILL THE TEA AND THEN SHE DID

it's 8 am and guess what I'm getting another drink my parents have c*vid and are in govt qu*r*ntine centres there is nobody to supervise or stop me

I too say 'Why do you have to say things like that?' to my pretty crush when she flirts with me

Nina smiling at Matthias bragging about his conservative ways is my aesthetic

'No, it's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall and yet, oh, there you stand.' MY FUCKING QUEEN

Matthias laughing uncontrollably at Nina saying something which isn't even that funny is a whole ass vibe

Kaz Brekker saying 'The Black General' ooh fuck yeah

YESSSS STEP OUT OF THAT CARRIAGE ALL SEXY BLACK GENERAL

isn't alcohol supposed to like kill germs? well, the amount in my system definitely will

I love my crows so much (always but this time particularly for setting that alarm in the stolen carriage)

ooh Polina recognising Inej by the knife yesss let's go writers

this Ivan Jesper showdown is all I needed from life and yet did not know about

Ivan taking off his cloak was, um, sexier than I wanted it to be

I just realised how thirsty I am going to sound in this post

'Has no one told you that keftas are Fabrikator-made and resistant to bullets, hmm?' 'Oh, I do love a challenge' LITERALLY EVERYTHING

im sorry to be pointing out flaws in a perfect show and adaptation but the line delivery on 'You robbed me of my brother, now I'll rob you of your life' from Polina was kind of weak

'You're a-' *gets knocked out with the back of a gun* LMAO we love the hints

got excited at the prospect of kaz v. zoya until I realised they will not be letting the opportunity of kaz v. darkling pass up

my goodness is Amita Suman a splendid actress

I AM NOT KIDDING WHEN I TELL YOU I SQUEALED WHEN I SAW DARKLES EMERGE OUT OF THE SHADOWS IN FRONT OF MY BABY BOY KAZ

THERE BEING ACTUAL FEAR OR ATLEAST DOUBT ON KAZ'S FACE, THE LITTLE BACK STEPS AS

THE DARKLING WALKS TOWARDS HIM, AAAAH I CAN'T

THE DARKLING STOPPING AT KAZ SAYING 'SHE FLED ON HER OWN' AND THE HINT OF TEARS THAT WE SEE IN HIS EYES

'IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR SHE WASN'T INTERESTED IN BEING A CAPTIVE ANYMORE' YOU TELL HIM, KING

*ACTUAL FUCKING TEARS IN THE DARKLING'S EYES AS THE SHADOWS APPROACH*

NOT ME YOWLING LIKE A HYENA THAT THIS CHILD OUTSMARTED THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN EXISTENCE WITH A FAKE MAGIC TRICK

'Are you sure you added enough cloves?' literally warranting a wide ass smile from my queen Alina making my entire fucking day

for some reason, no matter how much I push it from my mind, Ben Barnes dressed up as the Darkling, dancing to 'push it' keeps coming to mind, it's absolutely ridiculous

I got somehow distracted with interviews but good things came out of that as it gave my body the time for the booze to kick in

and I would just like to say that I love Leigh for all she has given me

Alina is so fucking compassionate, I have no much love for her. I can feel her guilt and her sorrow as Mal talks of Mikhail and Dubrov

don't particularly like how the stag plotline is woven in, could have been executed better

'You're afraid you might start to like me?' *flaps furs like a bird's wings in frustration*

'I DO like you' my fucking heart you idiots

the sexual tension is so palpable and the moment is so intimate I simply cannot

OMG SHE FUCKING FELL

that moment where you think he might let her fall despite having read the books and he doesn't and he tells her his name I- <3

YOU DARE TRANSITION FROM A HELNIK SCENE TO A KANEJ SCENE YOU REALLY HAVE NO MERCY FOR MY HEART HUH

people have talked about this endlessly but Freddie's little jaw tic after he says Inej because Inej is wounded and he can't physically bring himself to help her I fucking cannot

THE MUSIC PICKING UP AS KAZ LOOKS TO THE DARKLING'S CARRIAGE I CAN'T WITH THIS SHOW ANYMORE

and now for one of my favorite scenes in television and cinematic history, David Kostyk throwing a book at Jesper Fahey without even knowing who he is merely because he opens the door of his carriage and says hello to him before getting knocked out by Kaz Brekker while trying to run away

Immediately followed by another, the scene with David Kostyk raising his finger to put forward his point in front of the Darkling and the Darkling trying to let him know he doesn't have to before obliging is one of my favourite scenes in the world

also sir please stop being devastatingly attractive in your glorious appearance with your face and your black kefta and cloak because all that comes to mind is Ayesha Erotica's Emo Boy and I'm afraid that is terribly inappropriate.

'No, you look great.' *literally looks down from embarrassment or blushing* MALINA RIGHTS?

THE LOOK ON THE DARKLING'S FACE BEFORE HE SAYS 'NO ORDINARY TRACKER, NO ORDINARY GIRL' BITCH IM OUT OF BREATH

'ORPHANS OF KERAMZIN, REUNITED.' 'ADORABLE.' HE FUCKING SNEERED IRL I FUCKING CANNOT

GOD IT'S SO GOOD

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xaidyl · 4 years

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You could explain individual stuff! I find these explanations very fascinating, actually! OwO

okay! lets do this (this may be a very long post with lots of my random opinions but we’ll go with it) (and also please bear in mind these are jokey and in no real way a representation of these real people with real actual lives.)

***spoilers for most D20 seasons with this cast***

1.The babysitting

Actual parent:Brennan

From my experience DMing, you are effectively a parent to the players. He would also be an excellent dad

Wine aunt: Siobhan

Siobhan gives me vibes of someone who would take a bottle of wine to go babysit, then sit and tell the kids stuff about cults that they weren’t meant to hear. She would definitely teach the kids swear words, and they would love their cool auntie

Great at babysitting: Lou

Part of the key to babysitting is being relatable to the kids, but also self assured enough to get them to behave. the person who holds that key is Lou Wilson. He also has played dad-energy characters, and that is the kind of vibes that you look for in a babysitter.

Mediocre at babysitting: Murph

This scenario needs some theatre of the mind. Imagine Murph, he’s read all the babysitting books, he knows everything he could need to know, he lives with Emily Axeford. He’s more than prepared for this task. He tries so hard. The kids love him. The kids also walk all over him. They don’t get to bed in time. He wanted to do a good job. He tried so hard to do a good job. Yet somehow, luck is against him.

The house is on fire, God is dead: Emily

Fig. Sofia. Jet. All three of these characters would set a house on fire without hesitation, and not one fears God. What does this have to do with Emily’s babysitting ability? Well, all these characters are teaching us to be chaotic beings, just like Emily. We are the children, and D20 is our babysitter. Emily would only replicate the same thing in this babysitting scenario.

The children: Zac and Ally

I believe it was episode 9 of the unsleeping city. Neither Zac nor Ally were involved in the scene in question. Siobhan makes a reference to Eliza Doolittle, to which Zac makes a Dr Doolittle joke. Beardsley then shouts ‘I can see my dick’, a reference to a different film. This is fairly normal behaviour, and would not make either of them children in this scenario, had they not continued to hysterically laugh for the next ten minutes or so. Sat at opposite sides of the table. I think Zac starts crying at some point. They are absolute children, and also both have strong baby energy. Neither babysit, they are the ones that need babysitting.

2. Can they be killed?

Cannot be killed: Brennan

The man is a God. Enough said. Also I’m pretty sure your body would reject your soul before it allows you to kill him.

Can only be killed by one thing: Siobhan

You would be tricked into thinking Siobhan would be easy to kill- her constitution score is so low, after all. However, you would be wrong. The low constitution score has only made her stronger. More aware. What is the one thing that can kill her, though? Nobody knows, she’s only told those she truly trusts. It could be the most rare poison in the world. Or it could just be Mike Trapp. He (allegedly) has previous.

Can be killed but it won’t last: Emily

It is not anything to do with Emily that her death won’t last. In fact, Emily would be pretty easy to kill. However, if you kill her, Murph will do everything in his power to bring her back. He travels to the end of the earth, and then Emily Axeford is back and gets her new death date in a fancy gothic necklace.

Can be killed but at what cost?: Lou

What cost? The cost to the world. The world would be significantly worse off. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. It’s not worth it.

Can be killed but it’s not worth it: Murph

It’s not worth killing Murph because you would have precisely 0.7 seconds before you were killed by Emily. There is no way you can profit from this scenario, you would be dead before you even realise you’ve been successful.

Can be killed and it would be pretty funny: Zac

I feel like we don’t discus the correlation between Zac Oyama characters and dying enough. Gorgug was the first D20 death. Lapain was the first D20 perma death. Ricky just like had a weapon that causes him to die. If you killed Zac, it would just be funny because its happened so much. Sorry Zac.

Can be killed but why would you, you monster?!?!: Ally

We’ve already discussed this. Beardsley is Baby. Leave them alone.

Please kill them they suck: Box of Doom

I dont trust them

3. The fitness gram pacer test

this is definitely the most controversial of the charts, but there’s three of things you need to understand about my reasoning.

1. Zac is fast at running

This has been seen a couple of times, namely: adventuring party, where Zac tried to tease Brennan about showing off how fast he his at running, but it turns out it was just Zac speaking his mind, and he is the one who always shows off at how fast he is at running. Also, the video on Siobhan’s instagram of Zac jumping over that table.

He is also very bad a squats. Why would you be bad at squats? Bad knees. Why would you get bad knees? Running without sufficient warm up. Why would you skip warm up? Because you are very focussed on being able to run fast.

2. Zac is willing to defend his title of running fast

The way he accused Brennan on adventuring party, he knew what he was doing. Sabotage. Brennan may also be able to run fast, but Zac would prevent him from getting a good score. How? He has his ways. Zac is a good boy, but not when it comes to running fast.

3. I felt bad

I had to give Zac at least one good one :)

Anyways onto the other choices:

Actually tried and got a low score: Brennan, Murph, Siobhan

We’ve already spoken about how Zac sabotaged Brennan to be the best at running. Murph is here because he would try really hard but something unlucky would happen. His shoelaces come untied. He accidentally gets caught in the Zac/Brennan feud.

Siobhan started off with the intention to try, but after Lou, Emily and Ally had all done, she realised they were in fact much more interesting than the fighting going on. She walks out mid lap

Didn’t try, got a low score, doesn’t give a shit: Lou and Emily

Its important to understand that both Lou and Emily are capable of getting a high score, they are just better than the whole thing. Why is their DnD group doing a pacer test? Why did Zac suspiciously force them to do this whole thing?

The difference between them is Lou knows the feud is stupid and has like actual work to do? He sits and auditions for some other big film. He still watches over his laptop.

Emily however, simply wants to watch the world burn.

Despite their different approaches to the situation, they both have a bet going on who’s going to be the fastest runner.

Ran one singular lap and finished: Ally

Ally Beardsley shows up at the track wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt that is impracticable to run in. They have a llama with them. At no point do they explain this. They walk round the track once, drink their water from a plant pot, then spend the rest of the time cheering on the others with words that don’t quite make sense.

4. Storming Area 51

They cant stop us all: Zac and Brennan

Neither mean it maliciously, but both believe entirely in what they are saying.

Brennan is definitely the guy to go mad over a conspiracy theory. He made all the crown of candy NPCs. He is basically betraying himself. He knows not to trust anyone. He doesn’t trust area 51. The next season of dimension 20 is this as a subliminal messages all the way through.

Zac says it accidentally. He’s making a character for the charity livestream. He’s still got a hundred hours of character making left. He’s done so many bad squats. Unintentionally, he makes a character that forces all the zesbians to storm area 51.

Have fun getting shot, dumbasses: Lou

The rest of the cast are being weird again. Lou is equally as capable of being weird, but sometimes they need to chill. It starts with Emily talking about diner ice. It finishes with Brennan wearing a foil hat at all times.

You guys stop, someones actually gonna do it: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy.

Actually shows up: Emily and Siobhan

They ride a motorcycle there together. They wouldn’t have gone alone, but as a duo they are an unstoppable pair. Emily wants to break into a government facility. Siobhan desperately want to be in the real life x-files.

One of the Aliens: Ally

Emily and Siobhan open a door at area 51. Behind it is Ally Beardsley. They are wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt. They have a llama standing behind them. This is not explained at any point. They drink from a flower pot and eat a quesadilla that appears out of nowhere.

5. Stabbing

Would never stab anyone: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy

Would stab in retaliation: Lou, Murph, Zac

Lets be honest, the entirety of a crown of candy so far has been these three taking stabs (or metaphorical ‘where is your bulb now’ stabs) as retaliation for a stab another one of these three had done.

Yells “I won’t hesitate bitch” first: Ally and Siobhan

I can’t really explain this one much more other than i’m pretty sure both these people have said this phrase at least once in their life.

Would stab as a warning: Emily

This would be promptly followed by Murph getting her to stop stabbing. Or, depending on the situation, encouraging her to keep stabbing.

6. The water fountain

Fills up a bottle and drinks from it: Lou and Siobhan

This is the normal way to drink from the water fountain. They were also both very concerned at watching Beardsley’s various different drinking apparatuses in adventuring party.

Bought 4 water bottles so this wouldn’t happen: Murph

He is prepared. Something probably still goes wrong, but at least he’s got three water bottles left.

Drinks straight from the tap: Brennan

Brennan is a busy guy. The tap is there, it’s convenient, he needs to get back to planning. There’s so many campaigns, so many characters, so many voices.

Dehydrates: Zac

Honestly I’m not sure if this man would drink water if nobody told him so

Drinks from a puddle: Ally

like they drink from a vase with a flower, a puddle really isn’t that much of a stretch.

Licks the tap: Emily

She just wants to see the world burn. Also, she knows Brennan drinks straight from the tap. She has to get payback somehow.

7. A child starts crying

Makes the child laugh: Lou

We’ve already discussed how Lou has dad energy. I feel like he’s know exactly what to say and how to act to get the child to stop crying. This is less stupid than the rest of my explanations, but I always love how expressive Lou is when he plays dnd. I’m not sure whether its the way he holds himself or the way he gestures, but I’m pretty sure if I was a crying child, I would stop crying if Lou Wilson told me a joke in that very soothing point.

Tries to play with the child: Siobhan and Ally

These two kinda give me older/younger sibling vibes. As a team I recon they could create a game that would calm this child down. Also Ally knows techniques to help adults calm down, they could probably implement these ideas into a game for children.

Gives detailed instructions: Murph

His knowledge comes from the books he has read to learn how to babysit, and the one time he babysat. His explanation is rather frantic however, mostly because he is trying to defend Emily in his answer.

Cries with the child: Zac

He’s sad because all his friends are speaking to this child an nobody noticed how fast he just ran.

He’s also baby, as we’ve said previously, so he probably relates to the child somewhat

The reason the child is crying: Emily and Brennan

The child just watched episode 9 of a crown of candy.

#long post #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #a crown of candy #fantasy high

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blankdblank · 4 years

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Hobbit Soulmate Pt 23

Near daily in trips to meet with Jennifer at her home gym you helped to tone her up a bit more like a fighter in time for filming kept you busy. And you breezed right through the maze of sets and pair of films filling up nearly a month and a half to complete your roles while the other actors finalized the rest of the film.

Maid in Manhattan was a lovely couple of weeks, and for the shadowing of Natasha on a few scenes you at least got to meet Ralph, who was thrilled to have your paths cross on set after having heard about you being a fan of his through your father. “Hello, you must be Jaqi.” With brows lifted mid sip of your absurd latte that one of the assistants got for Natasha in a variety of four choices she usually ordered she passed onto you the voice on your right turned your head to the familiar actor.

Lowering the cup after swallowing and licking the adorable shudder from you had Ralph smiling wider followed by a wide smile from you, “Yes, Jaqi, that’s me.” Nervously you took another sip only to make him chuckle at your clear distaste of the drink you had been given. “Nice to meet you, Mr, Ralph.”

“Just Ralph is fine. Your father told me about you, that you are a fan and you’ve seen a lot of my work. I believe he said you saw Wuthering Heights five times in theater.” Again he smiled seeing you taking another sip trying to hold back your reaction to that.

“In my defense we are from a one horse town and we only get three films a season in our old theater house.”

Pointing at the drink he said, “You don’t have to drink that if you don’t like it you know.”

“No, well, you see they got it for Natasha and her and Jennifer took two of them and they said I could choose from the two but the other has almond milk. Plus it’s $6,” His brows lifted again as you took another sip and added, “$6 could feed me three weeks when I went to Julliard.”

“Oh,” it clicked in his head the full reason why you were drinking the drink you clearly didn’t want or ask for. “In that case, at least let me have a sandwich or something with some substance ordered for you because the coffee in that will hit you hard.”

Smacking your tongue you said, “Only thing hitting me is an odd aftertaste of garlic. Wow.” Making him chuckle again. “Sorry, having fun? I saw you have such a sweet dog to work with.”

“Yes,” he chuckled out, “Yes, it is fun today, I get to do the park scenes. Changing from one suit to another and back again. What are you up to?”

“I get to watch Natasha and Amy do some exercises and then I get to change and take notes while Natasha is meant to show up at the hotel.”

He turned his head hearing his name being called and in looking back to you he said, “Sandwich, on the way, promise.” He said and you nodded after taking another sip of the drink that would keep you up all day only to make you crash hard to sleep once you got back to your apartment after eating out with your dad.

A good impression was formed by all between stolen chances to play with the dog Ralph would be pretending was his in the film only luring some more attention to you for the already friendly rest of the cast bringing a few to try and include you a bit more. While Natasha claimed a near daily lunch slot with you to keep getting to know you better than just the young woman she had helped pick out a sweater once then helped into a few new jobs.

Two Weeks Notice was brief just under a week, and limited to random costume changes behind a desk and crossing through the office. Somehow always ending up on the table near to the lead cast on lunches and breaks, who after one had noticed your eyes in passing had taken a chance on asking you a few questions when the got the chance to get to know you better. Realizing that a few of them were also working on Maid in Manhattan as well deepening your conversations on that project too. Each a bit puzzled on why you had been keeping to yourself even with a wedding scene you were added to filling an extra bridesmaid slot.

Weekly reminding Richard that you would be tuning in to his latest, Sparkhouse, that was to be airing soon on BBC, a fact that Ralph on your final days took mental note of after your having shared who was in it to build up your anticipation for the nod to the classic Wuthering Heights he promised to keep a look out for as well.

For Enough, while Jennifer delved deeper into her own character bringing it to life you continued to help her train to keep up her figure until the filming had ended and England came calling. Your role was much smaller than your father had expected, but at least you had some lines and had the chance to build some semblance of a character for the little bit you were there. While trying to aid your new friend through her lead role in this slightly disturbing thriller testing her limits.

Right on the back end of his play while your father flew with you, smirking at the way you managed to sneak back to Richard’s place in time to change and hurry off to catch one of the final dates to his play. You sat all the way in the back for it in some of the last available seats and waited outside for when it was over leaning against his car. Out of his downward gazing stroll he snapped seeing the body leaning against his hood, ready to yell out of all his pent up frustrations that instantly melted away in seeing you. “Hey Richy Rich,” squeaking giddily in his lifting you into a tight hug your giggles erupted in his content hum and burial of his face in the side of your neck. “Oh I missed these arms.”

Warmly his lips found yours and chuckling through your muffled giggles he held you on the few steps to the door of his car he pressed you against then hummed in breaking the kiss to hold his forehead to yours, “I love you, Dearest. More than words, and you’re here now.” Pulling back he asked, “How long are you here? Joe too?”

“Well, The Fellowship premiers in New Zealand in December, London right after, I have been ordered to be at both, as have you and Dad, so, through to December. Might make a Christmas of it. Just in time for your show to air, which we are having a party for.” Spreading a grin across his face ending in his next fiery kiss. “And yes, Joe too.”

In a grumble he replied breaking the kiss, “We can be quiet then,” Making you giggle again in his next kiss and tight hug before driving you home to greet Joe warmly as well.

“So, let me see the stack,” he chuckled out talking about your scripts you giggled and brought out of your bags to set the scripts you had been given on the table explaining each he loved hearing about. Knowing fully you would be sneaking his own stack to hear about while cuddled up in bed excited to see what he had chosen. “No tv offers yet?”

“No, not exactly, though I did hear from a friend that the guys in one agency scouting for some shows had talked about me, hearing that I was good to work with and I had a spot on About a Boy. A second film with Hugh Grant.”

“Have you met him yet?” Richard asked.

“No, he’d already flown back here, but I did get to meet Sandra Bullock. She’s nice.”

Richard, “That’s good. If it helps even my agent has heard some whispers about you, building interest even out here. He knows we’re together so he said he’d make sure you know if there was anything serious.”

“I don’t think I can afford him, I won’t be paid-,”

He shook his head, “Not like that. As a friend, his idea is that if you have friends then I have friends. Possibly do some couply things.”

Joe chuckled, “No doubt you will be paired up soon enough on film after you were photographed at that film premier. It made the papers and it has been added to the wall.”

Richard looked at you, “There is a wall?”

In a giggle from you he replied, “Back in Texas they have been chronicling Jaqi’s career. There is a wall and books for the articles and magazines.”

Richard’s smile split wider, “Well I am flattered to have made the wall.”

Joe, “No doubt your family has a wall of their own.”

Again Richard chuckled, “Mum has a trunk for my things. Tends to keep my things from school up on display to keep me from being embarrassed. I have a piddly award from grammar school on a poem I wrote and read in an assembly and she has the picture and statuette up I tend to try to scoot behind one of Chris’ spelling awards. You can barely tell what the statuette is for but all the same Mum ensures the little bird is in full view.”

Joe, “The little ones are the best. Pumpkin won seven spelling bees in a row, adorable little sheep statues,” making you both chuckle, “Got all the way up to the bronze bull from the state wide championship. Even won a challenge for crosswords in her last year in high school, oddest little jenga block looking statue, still, on the wall.”

Richard, “So, is your home just empty, back in Texas?”

“Oh, no, it’s all connected, a big house for my brother with the most kids, and the other three have homes on the land and ours is the mother in law cottage attached to the big house. Everyone back home is making sure that when we need it we have a have a home to come back to. So if you two ever find your way back near Texas I think you’d like it.”

Richard glanced between you two asking, “Do you miss it? I know you’ve been home recently, I don’t think Jaqi’s been home in a while.”

“A lot of my spot in Daredevil is shot in Texas actually, so I can visit family then. Show them pictures of Misty for when filming is done and she gets flown out. Darkness Falls is all over, Maine, Vegas, Australia. Everywhere.”

Richard hummed out, “That one’s a horror film?”

You nodded, “Yes, but I am a fleeing nurse from what I can tell, they have one of the cast from Buffy to head it.”

Joe, “Well it certainly sounds good. I can’t wait to see it.”

Richard chuckled, “I may have to wait until it is out, then I can watch it from behind a couch cushion.”

With a giggle you replied, “Who knows if screaming nurses get invited to the premier, doubtful.”

Joe, “Be a shame not to invite you.”

Finally Hugh got to run into the woman who Natasha had recommended for the job. One of the women mingling through the final stretch of the filming. Complete with a blond bob wig you melded into Susan, the single mom who he dated the longest on film. It was only a couple weeks but the curious actor clearly saw what he had been told about his last minute love interest number four. One who following Natasha’s comments was abundantly charming, granted a little star struck at first but no less lovely to work with. Though stunningly young, nearly half his age easing the decision of noticing there was nothing romantic about your scenes past a possible hand holding scene easing a bubbling friendship between the pair of you leading to his own interest in seeing the BBC show that you had been anticipating yet to be promoted yet. Even more so once he found out the real reason you were so thrilled for it to air making you even more adorable in his eyes at being so proud of your mate’s arguably largest role to date.

Through which those feelers Richard’s agent had passed on about shows that could be interested in hiring you. However once you got there the first involved close to full nudity which had you politely turning down the roles. Refusing to be limited to showing all of yourself since you had shown some skin in Chicago which had Velma singing about boozing and being casual in sleeping around. That wasn’t the route you wanted to go down in the start of your career, sure to be a plummet after being in something so tremendous as Lord of the Rings. The others a couple period pieces that you were given scripts to look over while they finished the details to start filming that would take a few months at least.

“We don’t have to do this,” again Richard half heartedly whined while loving the fuss of having you all in his parent’s home in their living room for the mini premier party for Sparkhouse. Right in front of you sunken down into the lounger end of their couch with feet up on the foot rest smiling at your arms and legs draped around him.

Chris laughed curling around his girlfriend who was holding their bowl of popcorn while Margaret came back into the room passing him a bowl of chips while she kept her own to pass to her husband who had their fish and dips, “Oh psh, now all the girls are tuning in as well and I won’t be the only one who shows up to book club not knowing how my baby boy did on BBC.” Luring out a proud smirk making your dad chuckle to himself smiling after glancing your way on his left nipping at your lip in excitement.

A gasp came a few minutes in from you seeing his entrance into the show, “Those curls,” Richard chuckled hanging his head a moment only to look up again at your peck on his cheek. Silence for his parts came with hushed comments while others spoke, mainly the female lead character you all loathed right off for how she treated your lovable Richy. From being shunned to the squeak inducing sausage nibbling door answering scene had Richard absolutely loving that you were here to be with him through this.

So long he’d seen the work you were linked to, so glamorous and assured to success even in your extra roles. Beamingly proud of your success and wishing for so much more in the years ahead, yet while he still felt to have no leverage at all having you here so proud and confident he was gaining momentum himself to greater things he’d dreamed of. Always being his reminder to be positive and have hope seeing fully the reasons why he had chosen each role and his own take on them you assured him he had lived up to the plans set down for them in his researching bouts.

All the way through his makeover and the adorably sheepish wedding registry scene down to his jealousy you cuddled around him more stealing more kisses on his cheek while his hands smoothed across your legs still looped across his lap and tangling in the fingers on the arms draped across his chest. Post hard fight scene you all praised the lovable giant who was throwing his weight around and shared how his on screen nemesis for his terrible wife’s attention hadn’t expected him to be able to just pick him up and slam him around by his usual demeanor. Said nemesis dies in the end and scoffing slightly at poor John Standring’s fate for a loveless marriage to a terrible selfish woman living off conning others you all had a bittersweet opinion of wishing better for him while praising your blushing cuddle buddy hiding behind a pillow still in your hold. That even your dad complimented on his great choice of a role, stunning him by sharing that he’d seen more of his guest roles on tv he had also seen with less chance to thrive.

Off the ground as a blanket of snow had begun to fall you were back on a plane to New Zealand. Nearly all day the flight went smoothly and between your father and Richard you remained giggling and surprisingly calm for the momentous premier. Again you were back, not for long, but just as anxious the rest of the cast was jittery to see what Peter and the team had finalized for theaters. It would be shorter than planned, with an expected extended cut released later on you all couldn’t wait to see, but for now this would be enough, for you and the thousands lined up to greet you all.

Once landed you three joined the rest of the cast back at the studio where Peter would be waiting for you all to speak to you all about what would be happening. For a greeting music and pictures were captured of you all varying from bubbly and ready to the groggiest Andy who had just gotten off his third flight this week. Though all that faded once the speech was through and Peter was done thanking you all for your patience and diligence to making this first installment so magical. Brunch followed after through a reel of footage he had put together of you all comprised of candid shots and images of you being helped into costumes or led between scenes on what to do. Stuck in the limbo of time until you would have to leave to get ready at your table with the Fellowship the suggestion was made, “We should get a tattoo.”

Around the table eight of the nine including Ian were all in with the exception of John, who said, “Now, I have made it this long in my life without a tattoo, and I am not caving into peer pressure now. Besides, after all that glue and course materials I doubt my skin could tolerate much more irritation between now and the next round of filming.” That seemed to deflate the mood until he reached over to pat your shoulder, “If anyone should be getting this tattoo it should be Gimli herself.” Grinning awkwardly at his offer the men smiled wider at his offer only to glance at your father with you as if to ask permission.

Joe, “Not anything massive I hope.”

Ian, “What about ‘nine’ for the Fellowship.”

Elijah, “The number?”

Dominic, “Doesn’t seem very special, just a nine.”

“Quenya, possibly?” You mentioned and that had the group looking at you, “The Elvish script, get the word ‘nine’ in it.”

Ian nodded, “Now that is sensible. Could be very discrete as well, and very beautiful, I believe the door at Moria was in Quenya script, very elegant.”

The plan was made and before anyone could chicken out a relative of a crew member with a tattoo parlor was called up to expect your group heading over. A quick stop to consult your books for the proper word had the men in agreement for the simple design. Exhaling softly you watched the artist copy up nine tracing slips of the word to add to each person and Sean broke the ice, “I’ll go first, because I am not going last.” Lifting his pant leg he said, “I think on my ankle would be fine.” Some shaving and a climb onto the table he was watched through the application and tattooing process and smiled as his little girl got a temporary copy of his tattoo on her ankle as well from the artist’s assistant at her curious question to get one too.

Billy as well went for his ankle, followed by Dominic, Viggo and Ian on their upper arms. Sean had the group chuckling and jeering at removing his shirt to get the back of his shoulder tattooed. Orlando chose his wrist seeing that you were still muddled on where to get it watching the others admiring their little wrap coated tattoos, save for Sean who couldn’t see his without a mirror.

Richard lowly said, “You could try your hip,” glancing up at him he said, “Just a simple cover with your waistband.”

Your father nodded, “I like that idea, nice and small all to yourself out of sight from cameras.”

Elijah next to you said, “How bout this, you get it on your hip I’ll do the same.” With a nod hoping to build your confidence he said, “Nice and subtle.”

With a nod you said, “Okay.”

Pulling out his wallet your father found a little slip of paper he’d used to trace the design on the center of the front of your helmet. Peter had tagged along and wanting to join in on the fun had convinced your father he should join in too.

Once Orlando was done you were next and flashed a grin to the artist who asked you, “Decided, Deary?”

You nodded and said, “On my hip,” brushing up your shirt on the right side under your navel in the dip by your pelvic bone with your waist band brushed down he nodded adding the design to your skin peeling back the wet transfer paper ensuring it wasn’t disturbed as you laid back on the table you hopped up onto. Keeping hold of your hand Orlando smirked through the picture captured of the moment muttering things threatening to make you giggle hinting after your months of wooing him on set that you’d get tattoos before sailing off to the Undying Lands. Chuckling himself Richard watched, patting your leg opposite the artist at work as the ink settled the well deserved marker into your skin soon coated with a pinch of goop and a corner of a clear wrap taped to stay in place.

Elijah was next saying, “Same spot,” flashing you a grin as Richard looped you in his arms kissing your forehead as John praised your choice and saying you handled the task in stride.

Peter came next and in his waiting your father had spoken to the assistant who had copied the sketch for him onto transfer paper he passed to the artist who nodded and smirked seeing the design coming up next. Peter was another to ink his upper arm and around the next sketch the others mingled seeing what was up next. Sitting on the table when it was his turn your father grinned saying, “Here, under my elbow.” Allowing the artist to line up the almost arrow head shaped emblem with what looked to be a Dwarf styled flower in the center of it above ‘Gimli’ in the proper font with your double sided axes for the I’s. The placement granting ample size to do the image justice and keep it close. Right in the spot where he nestled you each night as a baby and little girl sharing several tales, including Tolkien with you. It was larger than the other tattoos, closer to a Reeses Cup package, but if he had felt the urge he’d go for a full back piece to honor his time with you here.

“Dad,” you said moving closer to lean on his side stroking his free arm while he got the design inked into his arm, with purple added into the black outline of the flower over the golden name and axes. Everyone had to admire the design, including John, who mentally decided if he ever would get one for the role he would probably get that helmet emblem later on. Just below his elbow was coated in goop and wrap and once paid fully it was just close enough to head to your house to change for the big premier.

Mainly in suits the guys had an easier time. While digging into your shoe supply you pulled out tall black heels with thin strips coating the tops to go under your off the shoulder tan dress with a thin layer of black sheer material coated in embroidered black leaves with a chunky black rectangular tiled belt for your hips to under your bust. Perhaps a bit extravagant for your next to invisible role. However Peter asked you to dress up close to how you did for the Tony’s as there would be ample big names in the film world coming who would wish to speak to whomever he put in their path surely aiding you onto more projects when you surely won them over.

For miles the red carpet stretched and was lined with ample people in costume. Between your father and Richard you smiled for pictures watching while the main cast arrived and mingled with the fans waiting. Though once Peter had finished his posing he smiled moving over to you guiding the first of your people to meet your way, each of whom smirked in hearing who you had spent the most time portraying leaving them eager to see the final product for themselves. John was the first to join you in what would be the large ensemble photo.

Inside you went and near to the middle you were settled smiling all the way through the film after the couple speeches to open the event. From the Shire, where through the fireworks your face was spotted stirring up whispers of ‘Gimli’ upon seeing you front and center without a disguise, to Arwen’s entrance your fingers rose to your lips signaling Richard to take your hand folding his around it kissing your cheek as you remembered just what you had faced with your father’s being hurt and flown out through filming this chase. Every scene and in between all the way to Moria where even up to losing Gandalf you had to adore how your movement had shown through to the final edit. Lowly at your squeezing his hand and leaning into his side your father chuckled seeing himself. Bitter sweetly it came to an end though with Sam and Frodo off alone while the Three Hunters were off to save Merry and Pippen.

The break was brief soaking in the lavish celebration of the beginning to the epic trilogy still in the making. Parties and dinners filled the next two days and sore cheeked you napped through your flight back to England where more would be waiting for you. Already pictures of your place among the cast had made papers here leading to more whispers only added by your next dress, a bright yellow looser skirted gown with a fake diamond belt that matched the accent to the deep neckline feeding up to the strap holding the corseted top that hugged you to perfection. Another silver pair of shoes were found, this time heeled boots covering to your ankles and glittery to go with the white shimmery clutch you had found at a second hand shop no less fancy for it.

Peter had hoped for the image to be enough, and lit up in flashes in your brilliantly yellow dress with perfected curls brushed over one shoulder you screamed starlet of old, just right. He was up to something and by the way he seemed to speak about and with you to the heads sent from the production companies there was no doubt about it. Although as you were just a couple weeks from turning 22 it was hard for them to see you as anything more than a supporting actress for all you could tell just making Peter seem like he was ready to double down on his pressing. Mention of your roles from Richard however had them looking you over hearing the ties to more roles funded by their companies or those of friends. Just a mention of the amount of roles seemed to stir some curiosity at least Peter let fester in them luring stares your way and bringing more of the cast to murmur that they had caught onto a plot as well.

Twenty two as 2002 kicked off and stopping in New York you switched a few things in your bag and was off to catch the train to guide you up towards the bus that would take you across the border to Canada. The papers weren’t hard to settle, though the travel was tight. You couldn’t fly direct as the date had you landing no matter which airline you took before midnight leaving you to the extra stops. Yet huffing in a plop onto your bus seat the finish line was in sight and adding your headphones to distract yourself with some travel tunes on your walkman you readied to block out the world around you and calm down before finding your way to the hotel you were booked at. Already you missed Richard and while your father had headed to Texas for your aunt’s labor to send word on your new cousin whenever they decided to arrive you were traveling alone again.

Ample jobs while a good thing also grew to be a lonely one. Meaning more time apart for now until you could be more choosy on which role and location it could send you to. The only glimmer being that for how small your roles were it wouldn’t be time apart for long. Suddenly a slap on your arm had your eyes open and turn to the little boy with one of those goop hands on a strand of goop he was playing with. Peeling it off to his wide eyed stare covering his mouth you passed it back grinning at him then turned back to the window in his grinning rush away to keep playing. Another border crossing agency had stamped your passport and with a grin you readied to head to buy a ticket for another bus letting out by your hotel.

A bit remote the city the hotel was in happened to be at the opposite end of a long stretch of road looking to head into the hills stretching of forever in your view of it. Shouldering your bag ignoring the line of three taxis charging absurd amounts only to turn seeing a car pull up and the driver pop out looking at the picture he was given before heading over to you taking hold of your bag. “Apologies Miss Pear, there was a moose.”

You nodded and smirked following him to the back he opened then closed for you before adding your duffel bag to the trunk. Two weeks you would be here, most of the final week merely to wait until your flight to Maine would leave finding you in another hotel. The cabin like hotel you were let out at was more stunning and cozy inside than out. Almost eager to ensure your comfort the staff had you settled with ease into your little apartment like room.

Heavily you exhaled sitting down on the end of your bed only to roll your eyes at the clench of your stomach craving something more filling than the dollar bag of animal crackers you got from a vending machine at the border while the bus was being confirmed permission to cross. Hanging your head back you grumbled remembering the funds you had deposited from your porn man stash wouldn’t be fully available till morning in your bank account. An out of place knock at your door however had your eyes open and head lift to look at the door. Once on your feet you took a step at the triple knock following that tapped somewhat playfully.

A peek through the peep hole had you grinning and opening it to find Ian and Hugh there, both who hugged you tightly, with Ian saying, “There you are. I know you are hungry we are out to lunch and you are coming with us.”

Hugh said, “Just fly in?”

“Bus got in a bit ago.”

Hugh, “That a price issue?”

“No, timing, none of the flights fit in my visa timeline. I like the bus anyways. Only got slapped the once by little kid with one of those slime hand things. Good time, all around.”

The pair grinned at you stepping out with room key in hand you pocketed to join them. Nodding his head Hugh said, “Got a car outside.” Settling his hand on your upper back guiding you through the mildly busy street to the waiting car taking you to meet the main cast.

And by dinner you had found out your first tasks in your call sheet not growing more complex than filling an empty seat or few inches of screen time. Geeking out fully in your mini glimpse into the X-Men world, especially the jail cell for Magneto Ian gave you a full tour to before it was being disassembled followed by a stolen full tour of the school sets to get all the details the film wouldn’t show. No less bubbly for what little work you got to do on the film, however you made a tiny mark and enjoyed your free days before your flight to Maine.

Pt 24

All –

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @c-s-stars, @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore, @mariannetora, @shes-a-killer-kween, @ggbbhehe4455

X all Rich. A - @abiwim, @deepestfirefun, @thestorybookmistress

Hobbit – Soulmate - @evyiione, @deepestfirefun, @rhaenaatargaryen, @anastasialovers

#Richard Armitage x Reader OC #lotr #filming #Meeting New People #Famous Friends #Premiers

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palettepainter · 4 years

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(IMPORTANT UPDATES) Look back at 2019

Big changes for 2020! Hey there everyone! 2019 has come and gone, another year passed and a new chance for me to try and improve myself when the new year starts! As far as I know me and my family don’t have plans to celebrate New Years other then of course spending time together, but I want to post this now just so that it’s out of the way it’s posted and I won’t have to worry about. If I can be honest, 2019 towards the last few months of the year has been a real punch in the face..multiple punches. I’ve broken off connections with people who treated me wrongly in the past, had random breakdowns at school (don’t worry they weren’t seriously bad), had trouble with siblings - it’s been overall, a very up and down year for me, but sadly towards the end and in the running up to Christmas, it was mostly down. But hey, 2020 means the start of a new year and a new chance to grow stronger as a person and an artist!..Seriously though 2020, please be kind to me- As you can probably from what’s in the title, there are going to be a few big changes to my characters and stories going into 2020. I’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot ever since mid August, it’s been something I’ve mentioned to one or two people, but ultimately I had to make the choice. And now with 2019 gone and done and 2020 being the opportunity to start fresh, I think it’s a good time to make these announcements. I understand that this may upset a few of you and yes it is going to make things a bit confusing for my NGAU, but this is my choice and I’m confident that making this choice will lead to me being much more happier with what I make. 🔸I will not be continuing my Zoophobia: Next Generation book series To anyone new who doesn’t know what I mean, Zoophobia: Next Generation was a book series I started back in December 2018, which included my own NG’s and one or two OC’s from the fandoms Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel. Since the first book the series has since gained a lot of attention on Wattpad, and believe me when I say that I am truly grateful for how much positive attention the series got! It was my first time ever writing something on my own and it felt really special to know so many of you liked what I was doing! But as the series went on, I slowly began to loose my drive to continue writing. This is something I’ve admitted to close friends, but now that I’m older and I’m more aware of errors in writing and certain ways in which writing can be written to be better, I realise that the series isn’t up to my current standards. The story itself isn’t one that I’m proud of, and as my first book series, I feel like I was biting off more then I could chew when I first started writing this series. Ive realised that the story line I had in mind would be too hard to work into both Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel without me having to make very big changes to either of those fandoms current stories and/or certain characters personalities, and though yes it is my own AU so if I wanted I could change the characters to fit better with my story, but honestly, I don’t want to change the characters. The characters from Zoophobia and HH I absolutely adore and there isn’t much I want changed about them, so I don’t want to alter the characters drastically to the point where they become an entirely different character. The main drive of the story with the main characters didn’t pick up till around the second book, and when I first started writing, the story line wasn’t even finished, I was just going with the flow and linking one thing to the other, hoping people would like it just as much as I did at the time. And lastly, this is probably the biggest reason why I’m no longer going to be continuing the series, but the first couple of chapters of the first book where too heavily inspired by another book series: I don’t want to continue to create something, when I feel as if it’s been too heavily based around someone else’s work. I want to create my own stuff and I feel as though the first book just isn’t that, it’s not my own work, and that’s leaded to me viewing the first book as my least favourite. This means that from now going forward, any events that took place in the book series is now no longer cannon. Some headcannons will be changed and altered due to this, for one Eve’s Headcannon will be changing as she will now most likely be alive in my NGAU now, so the stories I had planned for her such and the stories I already posted are no longer cannon either: I will say also that this also counts for my Eve X Hatchet NG Diego, he will remain cannon and will most likely be alive also. As for the characters that where involved in the books such as Lucy, Maggot and Bumbuss, I’ll figure out what to do with them. I defiantly want to keep Lucy as she was the very first OC I ever made for the Zoophobia fandom that wasn’t a NG, but I’m unsure on what to do with Maggot and Bumbuss. As much as I now don’t enjoy the series, it was fun to write while it lasted, and I cannot stress enough how grateful I am too everyone who ever read, liked, or commented on the series! But from now on, I won’t be returning to the series. I held off on announcing this and the reason it took me so long to decide this was because I didn’t want to leave you guys without a conclusion to the story, the series was only one book away from completion and I didn’t want to cut off the series so close to it being finished. But again, the book series isn’t something I enjoy anymore, so I hope all of you can understand and will hopefully look forward to the further projects I have planned 🔸New books to come Though my main book series will now be ending, I have a lot of ideas for new book series. Since the second and third book I had been having ideas for stories that could take place after the series, and the reason I kept doing the series for as long as I did was because I really wanted to start work on the stories that would take place after the series was finished. One of my goals for the new year is to try and push out more stories and book series for you guys, I feel like I’ve defiantly been lacking in the story department, mostly because I couldn’t find any ideas for illustrations to go with the story, and because I always felt too tired to ever finish any stories or illustrations. None of these story ideas yet have fully scripted out story lines, so far they’re just ideas and until I can get a script done for them, I won’t be starting work on them. I want these books to be as great and they can be, and not only do I want to make something that I can be proud of, but something that you guys will enjoy as much as I do. These ideas are in no particular order, and I haven’t decided if I’ll defiantly be doing all of these just yet, but here are some ideas I’ve had for books/book series for the future: -A book with my NG Box explaining her past before she came to live with Ribbon -A book with my OC Willem and how he discovers another hybrid like himself -Nidra’s story as she grows up to accept a new family, while letting a beloved friend go to persue their own life -Junior reapers: a story/series of stories involving Lotus, Charcoal, Parfait and Rae as they go on a quest to become junior reapers Maybe a MHA + Dragonous story *Dragonous is a Villainous dragon AU created by shabiest (Instagram), I will need to get permission from them if I want to write a book with this AU* Recently I got into My Hero Academia, and you can all blame that on my cousin When I first saw the series I kinda rolled my eyes at it, I’ve never really been a big anime fan the style never grabbed me when I was younger: and all I can say is that I should defiantly have given the series a try sooner MHA is a series I’ve come too really enjoy and love, I love the characters the story the dialogue, everything about this show! I’ve said this before but what I love about the show is how it’s great at showing us a large range of characters without straying too far from the main plot, and how this show makes me feel: there have been times where this show has had me emotionally frustrated, sad and happy, and if a show or a movie can make me feel a powerful emotion (angry sad or other), then I’m down for it. I’ve since made a few OC’s for the fandom, and I’ve been thinking about making a book about it. It’s not scripted out yet, and some of my ideas play into some events in season 4 - but if you guys enjoy MHA and you enjoy my OC’s, please let me know your thoughts! And Dragonous, a Villanious AU I’ve come to adore! I’ve always been a big fan of dragons, they where my favourite mythical creature growing up! (And still are to this day), with the creators permission I’d like to create a book with the few OC’s I’ve made, this one may not happen because again I need permission, but tell me your thoughts! Merch Again, something I’ve mentioned before, and something I’ve been really wanting to do! Me and my dad have made a shirt design with one of my OC’s, so far it’s only black and white (we’ve decided to go simple black and white since it’s my first time making merch), and hopefully if all goes well we can start to make more colourful merch However this all depends on you guys: I may be opening up commissions in the future, though I can’t say when, but this will depend on you: I have a PayPal and a KoFi if you guys wish to support me and my work (no pressure though!), every little bit counts and it would mean so much to me if you guys would consider supporting me and my work, even if it’s something as small as a pound! 🔸Collabs/art trades/design trades/RP’s There’s nothing really big to say about these things, but I have decided that from now on that I will only do these kinds of things with close friends.

Finally, I want to say a big BIG thank you to everyone who has stuck around on this crazy train ride to support me. This year as I said at the beginning, has not been the best for me towards the end, and I am so grateful to all the support you guys gave me. I know that I'm not very good with replying to comments/messages, and I'm so sorry if I never got round to replying to your message or comment, but I do read the comments, I do see the wonderful things you guys say, and it's absolutely delightful to see the nice things you guys say! I want to give a big big BIG thank you to these wonderful people who have been there for me, whether it was to geek out over a show to if they where there for me when I needed support: @hazbinextgeneration - You've been an amazing pal right from the beginning, you where one of the very first people I met when I first got into the Zoophobia and HH fandom and you've been an absolute gem! You've been there for me when I was down and you've listened through out all of my nerd outs about characters and shows, and to have someone listen to me meant so much! You comment on nearly every piece of my work and you're always so kind and giving! Not only to me but to so many others! You've made me a lot and fanart and I'm sorry I don't nearly do enough for you in return, going into 2020, I want to change that! @cosmic-artzz - If you hadn't been there to listen to me and help me out, I honestly don't know what kind of situation I would be in now. You helped me cut off ties with people I honestly wasn't happy talking with, and despite being dragged into my drama over and over again, you where still there to listen to both sides of the argument and give advice on how I could make things better. You've always been a delight to talk to and I'm so happy we had the chance to become friends! I'm so sorry you get dragged into my troubles as much as you did dude! Going into 2020, I promise you I'll be more confident in putting my foot down when I feel as though I'm not being treated fairly! And lastly, I want to thank all of you! For sticking with me on this crazy journey! Here's to 2020 and hoping its a wonderful year!!

#Goodbye 2019!#Ready for 2020

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bibliothesoph · 4 years

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Neverland, Soaring (part 3)

Simon is having a lot of fun watching Baz pace around his room muttering to himself. He seems to be going through a list in his head of pros and cons for going to Neverland. Penny, who is sitting next to Simon on the window sill, is not pleased about this situation, but she's given up trying to fight with Simon about it. Simon's got his legs inside now because the whole floating outside the window thing was making Baz extremely nervous.

"You can't force him to come," Penny says.

Simon sighs. "I know. I won't. I just...I really hope he does."

Baz looks back at them and stares for a moment before he clears his throat and walks towards them. Simon finds himself sitting up a bit straighter in anticipation.

"I'll come. Is there...do I need to bring anything? Toothbrush? Change of clothes?"

Simon shrugs. "Whatever you need. Pack light, though. It'll slow you down if you've got big bags."

Baz frowns at him. "Slow me down?"

"Yeah, when you're flying. Too much drag."

Penny hums in agreement. "Simon always complains about the drag when I make him carry books back for me."

"I'm sorry, I'm confused. We...we're flying there?"

Simon looks at him with a knowing grin on his face. "Come on, Baz, you know the story! Second star to the right, straight on 'til morning, yeah?"

Baz's face pales. Simon starts getting nervous that Baz will change his mind. He really, really wants Baz to come with him. He wants to show him all of his favorite spots. He's never been able to show anyone around before.

"R––right. Okay. Just...I'll get some things together, okay?"

Simon nods and watches as Baz gets a backpack and starts filling it with clothes and other random things. He notices Baz take something off his bedside table, a small boxy thing. Simon is at his side in an instant.

"What's that?"

Baz raises an eyebrow and looks down at the object in his hand. "Are you joking?"

Simon shakes his head. He usually is joking, but not now.

"It's a mobile, Simon. A cell phone?"

Simon sighs and shrugs, uninterested. A part of him wishes that he was more involved in normal life. That he had been around to watch things change slowly instead of being thrown into a whole new world at one time. When had the horses been put inside of the carriages? Why did Baz have a bunch of wire things by his bed coming from the wall? When did the lights become magical? He has so many questions but he isn't sure if he wants the answer to them. He thinks about how long he's been gone, but time passes differently in Neverland somehow. It moves faster because he's always having so much fun, but that isn't how he remembers time moving here in London. It was always so much slower in London. And people age right before your eyes. And new things happen all the time.

He doesn't want to know how long he's been in Neverland. That's the whole point of Neverland. If you're never going to grow up and have responsibilities, what's the point in keeping track of the day or month or year? It snows sometimes and then it gets hot, but that's about all Simon's had to go off of there. Penny might have an idea of it because she likes to keep track of things like that, but he's never wanted to ask her. He knows when he was born––June of 1885––so what does the rest matter if it's just going to make him sad?

"I'm ready. How does it work?"

Simon gestures to Penny who flies over Baz and sprinkles some of her fairy dust on him. Her's is purple, like her hair, but Simon has seen other fairies who have dust of all sorts of colors. He likes Penny's best, though. It feels and smells really nice, too. Like a sage-y hug.

Baz squeezes his eyes shut and clenches his fists by his side. Simon watches him for a moment, trying not to laugh at him.

"Am I flying?"

Simon does laugh at that. "No, you have to think of a wonderful thought. Something that makes you happy. Like, really happy."

Baz frowns. "I...is it weird if I think of you and Neverland?"

Simon chuckles. "I think about your stories, sometimes, so no."

Baz grins at him and suddenly his feet aren't touching the ground anymore. Simon squeals in excitement as he watches Baz get used to the feeling of flying. He watches him rise in the air a bit then come back down.

"Ready?"

Baz nods.

They follow Penny to the window, watching her fly off into the night. Simon is half out the window himself when he feels a tug on his hand. He turns back around and sees Baz looking at the window like it might bite him.

"You okay?"

Baz nods. "Just...can you hold my hand? I'm kind of terrified."

Simon grins and gives his hand a squeeze. "Course."

It doesn't take Baz long to get the hang of it, but he still holds onto Simon's hand as they soar above the London skyline. Simon looks at him every few moments to make sure he's okay, and every time he sees him he's got a huge grin on his face and the wind sweeping through his long hair. It makes something inside of Simon bubble with excitement and warmth. He's never felt a feeling like this before.

"I was nervous the first time I flew," Simon says after a few minutes.

"Really?"

Simon nods. "Yeah. I mean, it was all so new to me."

"How did you end up in Neverland?"

Simon grins again. He's never really been able to tell anyone about his life story. Most people, the mermaids, especially, just want to hear about his adventures. They want to hear all of the heroic stuff like about the time he had to save that princess from the Humdrum and his crew or the time that he had to escape a werewolf den. No one's asked him about his life before. Or about him as a person. He hasn't really put much thought into it, honestly.

"I was seventeen and my father was...he was still grieving, I guess. In his way. Which meant a lot of alcohol and yelling and fists. I remember wanting to run away but not knowing where to go. All I knew was that I didn't want to grow up and become anything like him."

Baz squeezes his hand.

"I was living in Hyde Park for a bit. Thought it was fitting since I was hiding or whatever. One night, it was really cold and raining buckets and Penny found me crying on a bench. She'd been going to London to get some books and said she felt my sadness. I told her everything and I think she was just so relieved that I wasn't like, weirded out by her that she decided to take me back to Neverland with her."

"What was your life like before?"

Sometimes, Simon forgets what his life was like before Neverland. Before he was The Simon Snow. Vaguely, he thinks that he might have been actively blocking out that part of his life. Or maybe too much time has passed for him to really recall anything specific, but it's always there in fragments in the back of his mind. His old life. His courtship with Agatha. His father's drinking and their old house. And Simon has never really wanted to tell anyone about it because it feels like that was all from another life or someone else entirely, but he wants to tell Baz. He wants to tell Baz because he knows that Baz cares about him as a person and not just as a story.

"My mother died in childbirth," he starts. "So it was just me and my father. We didn't have a lot of money because he lost his job, but we still had my mother's family home. It's actually where you live. That's how I found you. I went back looking for him but I guess too much time had passed. I found you in my old room."

Baz grins at him. "I can't believe I've been living in your old room my whole life."

Simon grins back at him. "No wonder you're so obsessed with me."

"I'm not obsessed." He sighs.

Simon notes that he looks so lovely right now with his hair being pushed up by the wind.

"My mother used to tell me stories of you. Every night before bed. I would get so excited to sleep because it meant another story."

"How'd she know about me? I didn't think I was, like, a character."

Baz stares at him. "Are you kidding, Simon?"

Simon furrows his brow. "What?"

"You have a bloody book."

Simon freezes, making Baz pause mid-air too. He never knew that there was a book about him. Surely Penny would have mentioned it. Why didn't Penny mention it? With all the time she spent in bookshops, she clearly had to have seen it. Although, maybe it wasn't a popular book.

"Is it any good?" He starts moving again.

Baz shrugs. "I like the play better."

Simon's eyes widen. "I have a play?"

Baz laughs. "Yes, you idiot. You have a play. The play was first, actually."

"Do you know who wrote it?"

"Uh, James Matthew Barrie, I believe."

Simon groans. "That twat? Christ, of course he'd get all the fucking glory."

"You knew him?"

"Yeah. He was always super into the girl I was courting."

"Courting?"

"Yeah, you know, like to marry?"

Baz frowns at him. "Simon, how old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"No, I mean, when were you born?"

Simon doesn't want to have this conversation. Instead, he lets go of Baz's hand and starts to show him some tricks he's picked up over the years. Some flips and turns. Something to distract Baz from that question. It works because Baz smiles at him and attempts his own turn and then the two of them are laughing again.

Simon hates it when people aren't smiling or laughing. After all, isn't laughter part of the fun of not growing up?

#simon snow #baz pitch #snowbaz #fan fic #rainbow rowell #carry on #peter pan #penny #neverland

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metalgearkong · 4 years

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The Last of Us Part II - Review (PS4)

8/14/20 ***SPOILERS***

Developed by Naughty Dog, released June 19th, 2020

The Last of Us was a game I wasn’t originally a huge fan of when it came out in 2013. Despite it receiving astronomical praise by fans and critics, it took me a couple times completing the game before I fell in love with it. What truly made The Last of Us special was not necessarily its concept or gameplay, but its storytelling and characters. The depth of the interpersonal drama and raw emotion on screen was the true core of the game, with the stealth-action, zombies, and other aspects more like icing on the cake. The Last of Us ended up being one of my favorite games of all time strictly based on execution, even if the game as a whole still isn’t perfect.

The Last of Us Part II was my most highly anticipated game of 2020, and it feels strange to be on the other side of it finally. This game has been polarizing for fans, and as it turns out, I feel conflicted on the game as well. I finished it a month or so ago, but only now getting my thoughts written out. While some aspects are daring, jaw dropping, and gorgeous, other aspects detract from what is an unexpected story not quite living up to its potential. I respect this game more than I love it, and while I do think critics have been too kind in review scores, the exceptionally low user reviews have been far more incorrect. This is a solid, epic, deep, beautiful, emotional campaign which will deliver its money’s worth, but many contentious points will dictate how much you enjoy this blockbuster of a video game.

One of the aspects I like the most about this game is how similar the gameplay is to the original. Many people I suppose would want more change or innovation in the 7 years since The Last of Us, but personally I’ve always been a fan of sequels that retain what I like about a series. If it changes too much, it becomes too detached from what I enjoyed or got used to. Changes Part II makes are subtle, but natural for the genre and world. The player can duck and go prone in waist-high grass to conceal themselves, a dodge button has also been added, and a huge addition to combat and stealth is the addition of attack dogs who patrol with their owners. Dogs can pick up your scent until you distract it, adding to a lot of tension anytime enemy K9s are around. And yes, I found it difficult to shoot the first couple of dogs I encountered as they yelp out in pain when they get hurt or die.

Part II picks up I believe 5 years after the original. Ellie and Joel live in Jackson, the town they town the become a part of at the end of The Last of Us, and seem to be thriving in a community with food, power, and systems in place for relative safety from the outside world. The story is told in a much more chopped up chronology which I found to be detrimental to the pacing. The first game had a straightforward narrative and it worked very well, and this game has to dice up its story to make it seem more complex, but just comes off as pretentious. For example, by the end of the prologue (about a hour and a half) you play as three different characters. This leads into the strange structure of this game’s story, aside from having the linearity chopped up at times.

The most controversial moment of the game is the moment of Joel’s death and how it occurred. While this event was not unexpected for myself and others, the manner of which he died is what’s justifiably pissing people off. A brand new character is introduced named Abby (and one of the three characters we briefly play as shortly before) and without any background or indication of who she is, brutally tortures and executes Joel in front of Ellie’s eyes. It’s not difficult to see director Neil Druckmann cackling with satisfaction of his subversion of expectations. It’s simply toying with the emotions of fans, and he has to expect and stand by any criticism he’s gotten for how this scene went down. However, this moment does make more sense as the story unfolds, but its no less a heavy handed and manipulative move for the sake of auteur video game storytelling.

Ever since I witnessed the brutal death of one of my favorite video game characters of all time, my only though was “they better justify this.” It was never “this is horrible and irredeemable, and “Naughty Dog is off its rocker,” like many people seem to have reacted. It was gut wrenching, but I knew Naughty Dog has a pension for organic characters, and in the back of my mind I knew I had to give this game its fair shot, and see if and/or how Naughty Dog justified a scene liable to piss off virtually every single fan of the original game. This is a poor spot of the game, but the structure of the game itself is, for me, the biggest issue of Part II. In the end, I don’t mind Joel’s death as much seeing the context surrounding it, although it still should have been handled entirely differently.

Neil Druckmann proudly pulls a Metal Gear Solid 2 move, and entirely switches protagonists for a huge portion of the game (about 45%). Abby turns out to be the main character once the halfway point of the game hits. Following Joel’s death is about 9-11 hours playing as Ellie on her revenge quest to find Abby and kill her. The motivation is justified, being in the room with Ellie as she watched her father figure die in agony in front of her. Ellie’s portion of the campaign makes sense, Abby’s makes less. The structure of the story comes to a high point mid way through, where Abby and Ellie finally meet to clash. After all this build up, and around the same time of the game where the first game had its conclusion, everything halts and resets.

We are suddenly dropped into the Abby story, showing her side of things, and why she would want to kill Joel. I do think the story directly surrounding her motivation is well done, but the problem is, a large portion of Abby’s story has literally nothing to do with Joel or Ellie. We effectively see why Abby would want revenge on Joel, but then we have to tag along on a major side journey while Abby helps a trans kid and his sister escape the cult they grew up in. I get that it helps develop more empathy for Abby as a character, but Abby’s story should have been at least cut in half to keep the overall story more focused and flowing. Many times while deep into Abby’s story I honestly forgot what the point of what I was doing is, and was getting confused on which events had happened and which hadn’t.

Abby herself is a good character, and after all has been said and done, she is the third best character in this series so far. It’s a shame though that so much of her story is a direct waste of time, despite more of an excuse for more of the same great gameplay and set-piece moments. Empathy and perspective are the two big themes of this game. The best thing I can say about Part II is it convinced me of something I thought was near inconvincible: it made me like and root for Abby after the scene of Joel’s death. However, while the theme of the game is “all of your enemies have their own backstory,” Par II doesn’t teach us anything new whatsoever. Abby’s father was the surgeon Joel killed upon saving Ellie from the Fireflies at the climax of Part I. But Joel (and Ellie) killed a lot of random enemies in the first game, most of them players won’t even remember specifically.

The fact that we have an entire video game showing us the perspective of one single person who wants revenge on Joel is a story that doesn’t need to be told. Any NPC we killed in the first game had family or friends who would also want revenge on Joel as well. We don’t learn anything new. This whole series is just marauder against marauder. Joel has never been a good guy, and that’s never been a secret. Joel is shown as an anti-hero even before the conclusion of the first game. It’s partially what makes him such a cool character. We only rooted for Joel because we were seeing things from his perspective. If the first game was entirely about Abby and Joel was framed as the bad guy, the results would have been the same: Abby would be our point-of-view “hero” character, while Joel was clearly the villain. Part II is not the epiphany Neil Drukmann likely wanted his audience to experience.

As anyone can see, the graphics and performances of Part II are incredible. While the story and structure are nothing too special (because it ruins its great moments by long drawn out heavy handed moments), at least the game itself is engaging to play and is gorgeous to look at. Growing up in the Pacific Northwest myself, and the game mainly taking place in Seattle, I enjoyed being totally waterlogged throughout the entire experience. If the story isn’t depressing enough on its own, the weather will certainly get to you. The core characters themselves are portrayed extremely well via motion capture and voice acting as well. I’m wondering why Neil Druckmann didn’t just make a Netflix series beings he is clearly so focused on the character’s interpersonal relationships. This is especially true for Joel and Ellie once again. Side characters are well acted, but have less of an effect on the core story, which is a huge tragedy when so much effort was clearly put into bringing them to life.

There’s no doubt Naughty Dog accomplished their specific goal in making you as depressed as possible. To be honest, it reminded me of some of my favorite books about stories of conflicting emotions and ending on depressing notes. Even though Part II is far from perfect, it’s still a juggernaut of a single-player game with amazing graphics, acting, responsive gameplay. I like the ways it proved me wrong on stuff I thought was unchangeable, and for that, it has my deep respect. It may not be for everyone, not even fans of the first, but if you come at it with an honest open mind and let yourself drop your ego enough to take in this entire story, I think it’s a daring piece of media that might age very well in time.

7/10

#the last of us part ii #naughty dog #ellie #abby #video games #review #ps4 #playstation 4

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penjenkins · 4 years

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Character Name: Howl Pendragon (though this is an alias for his real name, Howell Jenkins)

Series: Howl’s Moving Castle

Point taken from: mid Ghibli movie ( I have yet to read the books )

Do you allow canon doubles to app? Yes | No: N/A

Link to stats page: HERE

Short character about:

Personality: Howl is prideful, his ego highly buoyant. This is a man who has accomplished much in his 27 years on the planet, and he knows it. Intelligent and talented, Howl achieved his Ph.D at a young age, completing his dissertation. Somehow he additionally managed to find his way to a magical land – possibly through his studies, though the book never indicates exactly how – and built himself up as one of the most powerful wizards of the realm. He has made a contract with a powerful fire demon, allowing him to increase his magical stores exponentially. He is easily able to capture the attentions of women – and in truth, has probably never been refused. Life is going well for Howl in the beginning of Howl’s Moving Castle, and he would like to keep it that way – in spite of all that conspires to change that. Control is an issue for Howl. He is someone who is used to having control over his own life. He uses all his magic, all his skills, in order to keep everything going well for himself, keeping enemies at bay by means of the giant, malevolent moving castle he builds, his reputation of being a heart-eater, and his habit of ducking out of relationships when the girl actually falls for him. Howl is someone who likes having control over his environment and who is able to attain it through his magic. He is also a (self-professed) coward who seems to be afraid of committing or attaching himself to anyone or anything. If he attaches, then he will have to start to care, and that will upset the world he’s built. It’s difficult for Howl to be vulnerable. Howl is also vain. Extremely. Paraphrased from Calcifer, “For a plain man with mud-colored hair, he’s quite vain about his appearance.” Howl never likes to appear as he truly is; he dyes his hair, fusses over his skin and clothing, and scents himself with a variety of perfumes, handing out false names when it meets his fancy. In his own canon, he’s known by a different name for each venue his castle door opens onto, and likely more besides to the ladies he courts. Howl is a flirt; he becomes quickly infatuated with a woman, leading her on until she falls in love with him in return, then promptly drops her and can’t be bothered with it or the consequences of his actions. Howl is, in certain ways, highly childlike, prone to bursts of temper and dramatic temper tantrums which would rival the best angsty teenager. When not getting his own way, he can make himself thoroughly annoying and unlivable with, prone to angsty statements, gusty sighs, and, if it goes far enough, torrents of green slime. Again, this attitude goes to show how self-oriented Howl is – once again, he tends to think more of himself than of others. Melodrama is strong in this one. However, this is not to say that Howl is completely a lost cause, either. At particular odds with the rest of his actions in the book, Howl is prone to random acts of kindness. For instance, he will create a spell for someone for almost nothing with the knowledge that they can barely afford to pay him (even though he will ridiculously overcharge those who can). He attempts to remove the curse on Sophie several times throughout the book without her knowing about it. He took in Michael as his apprentice and dotes on his niece and nephew. As Calcifer indicates, his heart is quite soft, really. But again, Howl doesn’t like to put it out there. Last of note may be the fact that Howl enjoys a challenge. Like a child with a candle flame, he seems unable to resist attempting to touch fire, only pulling away when his fingers singe. It is perhaps for this reason that he begins to form a relationship with Sophie; she draws him in as a challenge, dancing in front of him . . . and by the time he realizes he’s grown attached to her, it’s far too late to do anything. (This is not to say that Howl does not genuinely care for Sophie – only why, in the wake of him trying so hard to avoid entanglements with anyone, he comes to care for her in the first place.)

Abilities:

It’s never explicitly stated in canon exactly what the extent of Howl’s abilities are. He is a wizard, and quite a powerful one, able to open doors between worlds and affect an entire city’s weather patterns while angsting. Howl is partially this powerful because of his contract with the fire demon, Calcifer, so his reserves will be diminished, but in the book, it often seemed that Calcifer allowed him to do more at once and/or reserve his own power for other things. By himself, Howl is still likely to be extraordinarily powerful. His teacher, Mrs. Penstemmon, noted him to be powerful and talented even before his contract with Calcifer. This said, of course Howl’s ability to open portals between worlds will not work in Siren’s Port. . . . However, this will not keep him from trying. It’s a challenge he probably won’t be able to resist. Aside from the more extreme abilities, Howl also specializes in more minor cantrips and charms, such as ones to protect a boat on the sea from storms. In canon, he sells these to the public for minor prices.

Weapons/important items:

OOC contact and your name:

Other characters in Isola: 0

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hms-chill · 5 years

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The Dewey Decimal System, and Other Love Languages

Alternate Title: Love in the Time of Midterms

Summary: A few weeks into his job at the library, a patron asks Henry where to find “the gay books”, kicking off half a semester of pining.

Henry is finishing shelving a cart of large print books when his life changes forever.

"Excuse me, hi. Do you have any gay books?" The boy asking is around Henry's age. He's short, and he's dressed casually in a polo and jeans, dress shoes and backpack categorizing him as a student at the local college. Henry's brain notes that he's attractive, though Henry refuses to acknowledge that thought.

"Of course! Fiction or nonfiction?"

"Oh. I... I guess either one? I wasn't sure I'd get to pick." Henry isn't offended that this handsome college student wouldn't think there were queer books in the library. He isn't, not in the slightest, offended that he seems to think the library is stuck in the 1940s. He refuses to let the other boy see how not offended he is, and he certainly doesn't use the excuse to show off a bit and display just how many queer books the library has.

"Alright, well, for nonfiction, you're going to want the early 300s for books on gender and sexuality. I believe it's somewhere between 303 and 307, and I want to say 306, but I've only been here a couple weeks and don't know the Dewey decimal system as well as I'd like to. I don't get to shelve much nonfic. If you're looking for fiction, we don't exactly have a queer section, but I could direct you to some that I've enjoyed or heard about."

"That would be good."

"If you like Greek mythology, Madeline Miller's A Song of Achilles is very queer. So are most of Rick Riordan's books, especially his later series. If you like travel novels or adventure books, Mackenzie Lee's The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue has a bi lead, and the sequel focuses on his aro/ace sister. If you're into fantasy or fantastic realism, Maggie Stiefvater's The Raven Cycle has queer characters, and Leigh Bardugo's Six of Crows is a heist story with a bunch of queer characters. There's also How to Fix a Mechanical Heart, Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit, and Kiss Number 8 in YA, though I haven't read those. In sci-fi, I haven't gotten around to them, but the Welcome to Night Vale novels under Fink would almost certainly have queer representation. The main character of the podcast is gay. He wrote an Alice Isn't Dead novel, too, and that podcast is about a woman looking for her wife, so I can't imagine the book would be... Sorry; this is probably more than you want." The other boy is typing furiously on his phone, brow furrowed just a bit as he tries to get everything down. The way his tongue pokes out the side of his mouth most certainly isn't the cutest thing Henry has seen all day. He has a dog, after all. David is, objectively, much cuter than a handsome boy seriously taking notes on queer fiction that Henry likes.

"This is good. It's perfect. Thank you," the boy says, still looking at his phone. He looks up a moment later, suddenly quieter, to ask, "Um, another question; do you have any books on mental health?"

"Mid or late 100s I think. They're before mythology in the 200s, but I'm not entirely sure where, sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. You're new. That's perfect. Thank you. Have a nice ga-- day. Have a nice day."

"You, too. If you need anything else, I'm working until six, and I spend a lot of time shelving in the kids room. I'd be happy to help."

"Okay. Yeah, thanks. Have a good one." With that, the boy turns to leave, and Henry finishes shelving his cart, trying to forget the other boy's smile and the way he'd furiously typed every book Henry recommended. He tries to forget the other boy's hesitation to ask about mental health books, the endearing shyness that most definitely did not tug at Henry's heartstrings. After all, there really isn't a point pining over a patron he'll never see again.

As it turns out, Henry does see the patron again. He's back a few days later, and Henry looks up just in time to see him dump a massive stack of books into the return slot. He smiles at Henry, making a beeline over to where he's shelving.

"Hi again, um, do you have any cookbooks?"

"Upstairs; 641."

"What the fuck. Hod do you do that?"

"We have a lot of cookbooks, and they're popular. I reshelve them a lot." It's really not that impressive of a thing to know. Some of Henry's coworkers know the Dewey decimal system forwards and backwards, but the other boy is looking at him like he's just done something incredible."

"What else do you have memorized?"

"Um, let's see. World War II is in the 940s. Current politics are in the 900s; The Meuller Report is in the 990s I think. I shelved that a lot. Mythology is in the 200s, folklore and fairy tales and stuff the late 300s. UFOs, cryptids, that kind of thing in the 90s, and computer stuff before that. Hobbies are in the 690s or 790s. Animals are 590s; sharks in particular are... 597? No. 587. I think. Airplanes 626. 808 is short stories, poems are after that and then by 811 you're into plays. Workout and health stuff is before cookbooks, so 639 or 640. Queer and gender stuff 306. Biography 900s is princess books, and 400s are foreign language. Travel is the late 800s or early 900s I think; they're in the back somewhere."

"That's incredible. I thought you said you were new. How long have you been here?" He's so impressed, and Henry isn't sure he's ever felt so proud of something so simple. The fact that this random patron is one of two people in the city to actually compliment him recently certainly doesn't help with the crush he's working hard not to develop.

"About three weeks."

"Holy sh-- cow. You're so smart. How are you this smart?"

Henry feels his face start to go red. "It's just one of those things you pick up."

"Still, it's incredible."

"Thank you. But you needed a cookbook? Any type in particular? We have a pretty large collection, so I can show you the online catalog if you want. It can give you more exact information than I can."

"Yeah, but if you teach me to use the catalogue, I won't have an excuse to come bother you." He winks, leaning against a shelf, and he really doesn't have any business looking so carefree and handsome. He came here to check things out, not get checked out. Not that Henry is doing any checking out.

"Well, I wouldn't mind if you still come bother me. It's a nice break from the monotony. The catalogue could just help for when I'm wrong or not here."

"Alright, fine. I'm not sure how much help a search is going to be, though. I doubt there's a book called What to Make When You Invite Your Family to Your College Apartment to Tell Them You're Bi." He freezes for a second, and Henry knows all too well the sudden nerves, the tense moment of waiting for a reaction.

"If you find one, let me know. I'm sure I could adapt it for being gay," he says, and the other boy relaxes. When he looks up, his smile is back, and he follows Henry to a computer catalogue.

He comes down from the cookbook section nearly an hour later, three cookbooks in his arms. He's headed for the checkout, but he turns when he sees Henry with an empty cart.

"Hey, hi. I, um, well, I found a rainbow cookbook. I'll have to change the colors and things, but I thought maybe I could do something from that? Like a layer cake with a pride flag or something? I mean, I know they'll be okay with it. At least I think they will. My... my dad's pretty catholic, but we have a family friend who's gay and my dad's done a ton to look after and fight for him. We all love him. And my best friend is bi, and they've practically adopted her so it should be okay. I don't... I don't think it'll go badly, but... sorry. This isn't part of your job."

"I don't mind. You're making a cake with a pride flag; what else are you going to make? Would it help to talk it through?"

"Sure. Yeah. I'm thinking elote, since we made that a lot growing up, and one of these has a recipe for doing it on a stovetop instead of a grill. And then I was thinking ribs, but I don't have a grill, so I thought instead I'd make some pulled pork? It's got that barbecue thing that'll go well with the elote, and it's really easy to make a lot, so I can just tell everyone at once and get it over with. And if there's extra I can freeze it."

"I think it sounds good, and it sounds like they'll be happy to support you. I can tell they mean a lot to you; you're lucky to have them. You'll have to let me know how it goes if we bump into each other again."

"I will, yeah. Thank you. You've been wonderful."

"Good luck."

The other boy smiles and goes to check out, and Henry takes his cart back to the staff room, hoping he'll get an update soon.

On Monday, the other boy is back, and he comes up to Henry with a giant grin.

"It went well! It was so good. My mom got a bunch of brochures about staying safe, which was awkward but it's how she shows love, and my dad didn't care, and my sister won't stop trying to get me to join tinder so she can set me up with someone. They... they love me, and they don't care that I'm bi. It doesn't matter."

Henry grins. "I'm so happy for you. That's huge."

"Thank you so much for everything. Seriously, talking to you helped a lot."

"It was the least I could do."

"No, it-- I'm trying to say thank you; just let me."

"Alright."

"Thank you for letting me talk to you about coming out. Was that so hard? You're more important to people than you give yourself credit for. Anyway, I've got to run to a thing, but I wanted to stop in and see you. And update you. And thank you. You helped."

He's gone before Henry can respond, but he's surprised to realize he can't stop smiling for the rest of his shift.

Over the next few weeks, Henry sees and hears a lot of the things that happen in the library. He hears a little boy complain that there's loud noises in the library, and he hears the woman with that little boy explain that by yelling, he is the loud noise in the library. Henry sees a little girl falling asleep on a parent's lap as they read to her. He sees the handsome boy from before help a fourth grader through her math homework in a tutoring session and hears him talking to a little boy about Nancy Drew. He doesn't see everything, though. He doesn't see the mystery patron re-shelve some of the books that are out of order, making Henry's job easier. He doesn't hear the other boy call his sister on his way out to gush about the cute librarian he just saw teach a mom how to find Percy Jackson books so she could teach her son. What he does get used to seeing, though, is the same cute boy, settled at a table that Henry walks past regularly.

By the time midterms roll around, Henry's gotten used to seeing the other boy in the library. On the first day of midterms week, he's already there when Henry's shift starts. Henry, who has three essays due soon and only one started, plans to stay in the library when he gets off work. If he can't find any open tables, well, it must be due to midterms. He certainly didn't avoid looking in a few less popular places in order to justify going up to the table where his mystery patron is sitting. The other boy looks up with a smile.

"Do you mind if I sit? It's full everywhere else. I swear I'll be quiet; I've just got to draft an essay."

"Not at all. Here; let me slide some stuff over. What's your essay on?"

"Identity and fluidity in Virginia Woolf's Orlando. What are you working on?"

"A study guide for the politics of international economics."

"Sounds thrilling."

"What are you writing on? A book about Florida?" and god, Henry has to fight not to laugh just a bit.

"A book about Virginia Woolf's girlfriend."

"No way. Wasn't she like... old?"

"The 1920s aren't that old; we have examples of queer folks going back to the 400s BCE. Sappho's poetry would be in either the 200s or 808 if we have any, and tons of queer folks from Julie d'Aubigny to Alexander Hamilton are in biographies."

"Maybe later. Tell me about your essay; I can't study anymore."

"Okay, so, this book is a fake biography of a person named Orlando who, halfway through, changes from a man to a woman. I'm arguing that by using water to symbolize major change, Woolf signals to readers that their sex change isn't actually a big deal in their identity. Basically, every time Orlando gets a new opportunity or something else major happens, there's water involved somehow. But when their sex changes, which at first glance is the most drastic thing that happens to them, there's no water anywhere. In fact, there's fire, and that fire is mentioned a few different times. So I'm arguing that this shows readers that gender doesn't actually have that much impact on who someone is, but it's instead just how we present to the world. Therefore, it shouldn't matter if Virginia's in love with a woman, because Vita's just another human, and this whole thing is just a massive love letter to Vita and also a screw you to everyone else, because they all knew it was about Vita and Virginia didn't care."

"Wait, people knew? People knew they were lesbians."

"Well, they were probably both bi, and Virginia was probably demi-romantic, but it's not fair to put labels on them because all of those terms are more modern than these women. But yes, people knew they were dating. Vita's mom complained that Virginia stole her daughter."

"That's incredible,"

"Portrait of a Marriage by Nigel nicholson, Vita's son, is probably upstairs in biographies. Chapter five especially goes into detail on their open relationships."

The other boy laughs at that, throwing his whole body back as he does. He has the weight of five midterms on his shoulders, but for the duration of that laugh, he is happy and free and light as a feather.

"You're amazing. I'll let you write your essay, but just know. You're incredible."

Henry pulls out his laptop and opens the file for his essay, but it's a good five minutes before he can start to actually write anything. When he's finished, he nearly asks the other boy to get dinner with him. He doesn't; he can't. He's not confident enough. Instead, he just wishes the other boy good luck on his test as he says goodbye.

When Henry gets to work on Wednesday, it doesn't look like his patron has moved. When Henry gets a bit of a break, he texts Pez, who responds immediately with a series of emojis. The man is an enigma, but fifteen minutes later, he's arrived with two of the cookies Henry made them the night before. Henry takes them to the table where his favorite patron sits, the eye of a storm of notes, highlighters, empty coffee cups, and granola bar wrappers.

"Hello. Sorry to bother you, but you look like you could use these," Henry says, setting the cookies on the table as he passes.

"What... thank you! Thanks."

Henry is gone before the other boy can say more, his face going red. He doesn't see the little smile that spreads across the other boy's face or the way his whole body relaxes as he bites into the first cookie. When he passes the table again, though, he does see an empty bag and a somewhat refreshed patron.

As midterms pass and life settles down a bit, the table where his patron sits starts to be empty occasionally. Henry tries not to miss the boy who used to sit there, surrounded by clutter and wearing adorable glasses. He must have other things happening, a life outside of class work and study sessions. Still, it's a bright spot in Henry's day to see the familiar backpack in a chair, even without his patron at the table.

He finds his patron a few minutes later, or more accurately, his patron finds him.

"Excuse me, hi. Do you happen to have any books about how to ask out the hot librarian who's super smart and puts up with my constant nagging and helped me come out to my family and brought me cookies during midterms?"

Henry freezes, then says, "If we did, I would assume the first suggestion would be to tell this person your name." He's doing his best to stay calm, but the other boy isn't making it easy. He's leaning against a bookshelf, casually, like asking to date another boy in a public place is the easiest thing in the world.

"Did I not... fuck, I-- I'm Alex. Alexander Claremont-Diaz. Sorry. Shit. Yours is on your nametag and I just kinda assumed we... sorry."

"Alex, it's nice to meet you. I'm Henry. Back to your question, if we had such a book, I would assume it would also suggest waiting until the person you want to ask out is off work. But, when he's not on the clock and can be his own person, you shouldn't have any problem. You're smart, and you're nice, and you're good looking."

"You think?"

"I do. And you didn't ask, but I get off at six, and I don't have dinner plans."

With that, Henry finishes sorting his cart and walks away to shelve it, leaving Alexander Claremont-Diaz, mystery patron, grinning behind him.

On AO3

Notes:

To my knowledge as someone who's worked at a library for a month, the Dewey decimal numbers in this are accurate. 306 is definitely gay books, and that'll be the case at any library that uses this system. Also, the fiction books mentioned are all real and queer. Especially Orlando. - Speaking of Orlando, read it! It's so good! I'm working on the play (adapted by Sarah Ruhl, who's incredible) and I'm in love with it.

#henry fox mountchristen windsor #henry fox mountchristen windsor x alex claremont diaz #alex claremont diaz #rwrb #rwrb fic #my fic: rwrb #red white and royal blue #it's the library au #library au #FirstPrince #rwrb au

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fanfic-scribbles · 5 years

Text

Dragon Princess

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: You don’t let anybody in easily. Steve doesn’t mind a challenge. Hopefully he also doesn’t mind getting his armor singed in the process.

Quick facts: Romance – Steve Rogers/Reader – female!disabled!Reader]

Warnings: Female pronouns for reader, reader uses a wheelchair, reader is a Grumpy Gus (with a heart of gold), some ableism

Special Disclaimer: Reader is in a (manual) wheelchair for an undisclosed disability. I don’t use a wheelchair myself, I just go behind one, so if anything I said is offensive then message me and I’ll try to edit it. I did my best but unconscious bias is a bitch and trips up even the best of us.

Words: 2903

A/N: I love. Writing grumpy characters. Who are secretly soft. Can’t stop won’t stop. Anywho; this didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted but I quite like certain parts of it, and I’ll never not love writing troll-Steve, especially with cranky reader-characters. It’s just fun.

It has been a long day and you just want to go home. So it’s with no small amount of delight that you tear down the open space between bookshelves and tables and make a spectacular turn down the aisle you need– only to come to a complete and sudden stop.

That guy.

It’s a little harsh, but he’s standing right in front of the shelf you need. Captain America is a regular around here; so much a fixture that you can pinpoint the newbies and the visitors by how long they stare at him. Right now you stare a little too because, hey, you actually haven’t really interacted with him– it’s not like you have the time normally, but your co-workers won't shut up about how wonderful and nice the guy is. Nice, maybe. Easy on the eyes, certainly.

But not nicer than your bed and definitely not easier to look at than the inside of your eyelids.

You roll up next to him and find the spot where the book goes. Blocked by his thigh, of course. Grayson owes you big time for this ‘real quick favor.’

You clear your throat and steel yourself. “Excuse me.”

Captain Rogers blinks and looks down at you. Like he can’t fathom what you're doing here. You realize he’s zoned out just as a spark of life returns to his eyes. “Oh, um, can I help you with something?” he says. He then scans the upper shelves and looks down at you, meaningfully.

You sigh but temper yourself. “No, I know exactly where this goes.” You give him your brightest smile and hit the epic tome against your other hand. “On the shelf right above your kneecaps. Both of which happen to be at the perfect level.”

He jumps back and you’re able to slip the book right into its spot. He actually looks pretty amused. Since he’s a good sport about being threatened with a hardcover edition of “The Tale of Genji” (which might have to be registered with the state of New York as a deadly weapon, you’re not sure,) and since you’re only a week away from beating your record for number of days gone without a complaint, you sit back and say, “Since I’m here, is there anything I can help you with?”

“No ma’am, I’m just browsing. Thank you,” he says and goes back to staring at lettered spines, leaving you free to escape work for the day.

That went pretty well, all things considered.

It’s another long day when you come across Captain Rogers again. (Mr. Rogers? Captain America? Whatever.) You’re cleaning up the tables and he’s sitting at one, quietly reading. He’s got a small stack of nonfiction, the titles of which are all so boring that your eyes glaze right over them. As you get closer he raises his head and smiles at you. You’re not sure what your face does, but his lips twitch up against his best efforts and he looks caught between laughing and being concerned. “Sorry, did I do something…?”

“Other than be a nice guy to exactly the wrong person? No, you’re…fine. I guess,” you say. “If you want a smile you’ll have to go to the front desk; I’m the only one in this area.”

He laughs, which isn’t a half-bad sound. You roll your eyes and gesture at his stockpile of Boring Nonsense. “You done with any of those?”

“Yes,” he says and immediately puts two of them next to you. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” you say, grab them, and leave him be.

For a while. He’s still working on something that makes him scowl like he’s going to start fighting it when you come back over and drop a book right next to him hard enough to make him jolt. You smile. It’s the little things, sometimes. You pat the cover. “This is my favorite piece of trash. It has dragons and swords and is basically the book version of the most terrible-wonderful fantasy movie you can imagine. Give your brain a break before it goes on strike.”

His smile broadens, and he pushes the other, actual trash away so he can put your beloved trash in its place. “Enjoy, Captain,” you say and start to turn.

“Steve,” he says as if instinctive. But then he looks at you. “If you don’t mind.”

You shrug, but since you’re trying to be polite you tell him your name before leaving him to read in peace.

“Can I ask you a question?”

That’s as good as a loaded gun, as far as you're concerned, but you’re in a marginally good mood today so you face Steve with as much patience as you can hold at any one time. “Yes?”

He frowns. “Do you…” He sighs. “This is so random, but do you have any recommendations for books on food?”

That’s…not what you expected. “Huh,” you say as you actually have to think through the card catalogue of your mind. “I guess, but I think I should ask Grayson about–” Steve’s face does something terrible that is also delightful. “You already asked him.”

“He has to be joking,” Steve says desperately.

You crack a smile, already aware of the sorts of things your more exuberant and…adventurous coworker likely said. “Some, yeah, but probably not all.” You think you know what Steve’s aiming for. “Hold that thought.”

“If it’s too much trouble you don’t have to–”

You shush him– this is a library after all– and continue on your mission. You have to wave off one of the volunteers at one point but you manage to retrieve the book you’re looking for. When you return, Steve is focused on his book again– the poor, trusting fool. Nobody else is around, so you take great pleasure in making it slam right next to him. This book being bigger makes a louder sound than the last– he jumps, you laugh, and the day has gone from good to great.

“You like making me jump,” he accuses, poorly hiding a smile.

“My coworkers say I’m a sadist. Too bad for them I’m good at my job.” You flip open the book you brought him. “Ta da. The modern American cooking bible. Enjoy.”

Steve is immediately fascinated, leaning over and flipping through. “Betty Crocker is still a thing?”

“Oh yeah,” you say. “Still in grocery stores and the books get revised all the time.”

“Wow.” He smiles at you. “Thanks.”

You wave him off. Just as you’re about to go, though, you think of another possible concern. “By the way, Grayson talks a big game but he’s not serious. I mean, if he were single, yeah, but he’s got a wife and kids he loves more than anything. His flirting is all in good fun.”

Steve nods like it doesn’t bother him, but stops mid-motion. “What about Alex and Martha?”

You snort. “Good luck.”

He rolls his eyes. “Wow, thanks.”

You smile sweetly at him. “Always here to help.”

“Ooo,” Alex says under their breath and straightens their shirt.

You’re too annoyed to ask what they see. You find out anyways when Steve strolls up to the counter and says hello to Alex and then pointedly does the same to you, smiling like he’s gotten the best news of his life.

It’s fucking irritating and you wave him off like the obnoxious fly he is. Like the obnoxious fly he is, he remains. You give him a dirty look. “Away with you and your happiness.”

Steve laughs, showing his true colors for all to see. He leans on the counter closest to you. “That kind of day already, huh?”

You turn in the stool to properly glare at him. “I have great arm strength and three complete editions of “The Lord of the Rings” as well as the rest of our Tolkien collection. Do you want to find out how many copies of “The Silmarillion” are needed to take you out?”

Steve is unaffected. This is what you get for being nice– burning irritation and the blood of Captain America soon to be on your hands. Not to mention how all of your coworkers are probably going to give you the cold shoulder. Or worse– make you man the information desk.

You shudder. No, even Steve’s stupid fat head getting clocked by elven moping isn’t worth that.

“No,” he decides, smiling bigger as he watches you. “But I’ve been meaning to read “The Children of Húrin” if you happen to have it.”

You grab the book and…hand it to him, because you aren’t really a monster who would harm an innocent book just because someone else was irritating you.

Steve beams, the bastard. “Thanks!”

“Ugh, your sunshine hurts. Go away you fucking sadist.”

“We have that in common then,” Steve says and honest-to-god winks before strolling away to his area in the back. He’s so fucking jaunty that if he wasn’t in a library you’re pretty sure he’d be whistling.

“Nerd!” is your parting shot before you turn back to the task at hand. Alex, however, is gawking. Fucking great. “What?”

“‘Your sunshine?’” Alex points at you. “You were flirting!”

This might be the day you murder someone. And not a patron– that’s unexpected. “I was not!”

“And he was too oh my god.”

Blood rushes to your head. “Is this really how you want to go out? I made three 16 year old boys cry because they drew dicks in our books, my blood is pumping, I could fight a bear, don’t test me.”

Alex runs. To gossip; you’re not fooled. You shake your head. The problem with threatening people all the time is that eventually they find out you’re not actually violent. Not that those teenage brats know better, thankfully.

On that note, you do hope Steve enjoys their artistic interpretations of his text.

It’s too late to be irritated by the morning and too early to be irritated by the rest of the day, so you’re at the front desk, doing busywork to while away the slow mid-morning.

“Hi.”

You lift your head. “Do you live here now?”

“I wish,” Steve says. Your boss, William, is off to the side with Martha, and Steve politely greets them before focusing on you. He puts two books on the counter. “I wanted to return these.”

“Book drop is right over there,” you say.

“And deprive you of something to complain about? I would never,” he says.

Martha snorts. You magnanimously ignore her. It was pretty good, and you notice the first book you gave him sits on top. “How’d you like it?”

“It was fun.” Steve brings out a piece of paper. “I wrote down the author’s other work if you want to take a look?”

You take the list and give it a look-see before going at it with a pen. Some of the titles get stars, some get a ‘meh’, some get crossed out, and some of them get Sharpied out of existence.

“Do you need help?” you ask as you hand it back.

“No; I’ll just browse,” he says and holds it up. “Thanks,” he says, nods at the two useless observers, and goes on his way.

You open the first book to check it in and see a piece of paper folded in half. “Hey, you–” But Steve is gone. “Jeeze; even his bookmarks are dumb and big.”

You unfold it though and it’s– it’s a drawing. A really nice ink drawing of a snake-bodied dragon, fierce and blowing fire but…coiled at the bottom to sit on a throne of books that floats above the ground. Next to the picture is calligraphy that reads, ‘Thank you for always helping me.’

William and Martha crowd in, so you put the picture on the counter to let them see. You don’t look away from it but you can hear them admire it (as they should).

“Is…is he calling you a dragon?” William asks warily.

“This…” You breathe. “…Is the nicest thing ever.”

Martha and William scuttle off to gossip like the tweens they secretly are. You appreciate the drawing for a little while longer before you carefully fold it back up and slip it in your notebook under the counter.

God damn. He is flirting.

And god damn, you’re into it.

If you’re being honest, you’re not really that rude to strangers. Not most of the time, anyway. You know some who might argue that, but you love reading and books and stories and libraries and you want other people to love them too.

Some people, though, are hopeless.

“Here?”

“Next shelf over,” you say. “Left–” The guy moves his hand down and you sigh. “To the left, sir.”

He moves his hand, somehow, just over the book. “Yes! Th–” aaaaand he passes right by it.

Short of magically teleporting the book out of its spot and into his face, you're not sure what else you can do.

“Why can’t you just get it for me?” he whines.

You’ve had people practically strain their necks in effort not to look at the chair, but this is ridiculous. You rub your temples to ease the stupid. Someone is hovering in the aisle on the opposite side of where you’re trying to direct this disaster of a puppet show. Hopefully whoever is waiting has more patience than you. “I’m sorry sir but I don’t know how to be any clearer about it; you’ve literally passed over it–” Wait a minute. “Twice…” Wait a minute.

His mouth hints at a smirk even as he tries to look annoyed. Really? This is how he wants to harass you? This is weaksauce. He could have gone to Martha and done the same thing, she’s so short.

You smile politely. With fangs. “Sir, given our interaction here, I have to say I don’t think that book is right for you. The library has a great children’s section; I could show you the books for new readers. They’re well suited to your reading comprehension and your maturity level.”

It takes him a second. Unsurprisingly, he has the gall to get offended. “What did you say to me?!”

“We both know what you’re doing,” you say flatly, losing the gracious veneer. “Are you going to waste more of my time or can we stop pretending?”

He flounders for a moment, obviously too shocked by the turn to process. “I– I want to speak to–”

“His name is William and he’s at the front desk. Knock yourself out.” Please.

Asshole storms off and you sigh. It doesn’t seem fair that your ‘days without a complaint’ is about to get reset because of that, but maybe you can argue it. William is a reasonable guy. If he wasn’t you’d have been fired your first week when you heard someone making fun of their friend for reading Laura Kinsale and you signed the jerk up for every romance newsletter you knew of.

Steve steps out from the next aisle over and walks down to you. “Ah,” you say. “I should have known that particular looming.”

He blushes. That shouldn’t be legal. “Sorry; I wanted to talk to you so I decided to wait.”

Oh. “Then…thanks for not stepping in.”

“You had it handled. In fact…” He cracks a smile. “You were surprisingly patient.”

“I have to be.” You shrug. “My job involves dealing with the public. You know how it goes.”

“I do,” he says, smile growing. “Would you like to commiserate? Maybe over dinner?”

You try very hard to clamp down on your own smile. It peeks through anyway. Traitor. “Misery does love company.”

“Is it okay if I don’t think I’ll be miserable?” he asks.

“That’s fine, I can be miserable enough for the both of us,” you say. “You sure you want to go on a date with a dragon? You seem more like a princess kind of guy. White horse and all.”

He laughs and puts his hand to his chest. “Don’t let the suit of armor fool you. Besides, there’s more than one kind of princess.”

You shake your head. “I guess we’ll talk about it,” you say. “Over dinner.”

“Thursday?” he suggests.

“I get off work at six.”

“I’ll pick you up here then.”

“Cool.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

There’s an awkward moment where it feels like there’s something else– or should be something else. You know what you want, but…

Fuck it. You crook your finger to bring him in and Steve obeys, until he’s close and bracing his hands on the arms of your chair. You move to the side of his face and place a very light kiss on his cheek. He lingers for a moment and then stands, radiating carefully muted joy with a small smile that looks ready to erupt.

He’s going to ruin your reputation as a hardass. That doesn’t bother you near as much as you think it should. “Thursday,” you say and swallow. “It’s a date.”

He grins, like a sunbeam through the cloud. Yep. Ruined. “I’ll let you get back to work then,” he says and steps back. “Try not to set anyone on fire?”

Your smile shows teeth. “No promises,” you say and turn your throne around. This hoard isn’t going to manage itself, and you can’t just wait around for your knight– you’re not that kind of princess.

#steve rogers x reader #captain america fanfic #captain america reader insert #avengers fanfic #avengers reader insert #troll steve rogers #grumpy reader #tw ableism

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bevioletskies · 5 years

Text

if i could fly

summary: Scott’s freshman year in college is going like pretty much any other - his roommate is a little eccentric, he has a huge crush on the girl sitting next to him in his bioengineering lecture, and he absolutely can’t stand their professor. Meanwhile, Hope is just wondering when she can have a moment for herself, when to tell Scott that she knows and she feels the same way, and when he’s going to realize that she’s Dr. Pym’s daughter.

a/n: Fic title is from the song If I Could Fly by One Direction because I need to stop picking songs from before 1988. Also, this fic is slightly more of a Hope character study than a Scott/Hope fic, but they're still a very central part of the plot!

word count: 8.1k | ao3

The moment that Scott and Hope met was...memorable, to say the least - Scott practically fell right through the doors of the lecture hall, stumbled over his own feet, and stubbed his toe on the back row of seats. Every last person turned to look at him, because on top of everything else, he was ten minutes late (he blamed Luis for convincing him that he “didn’t need an alarm, man!”).

He sheepishly made his way down the stairs, scanning every row for an empty seat, his heart sinking when he realized the entire hall was at full capacity, save for one seat at the very front. He felt decidedly more optimistic once he laid eyes on the girl who would be sitting next to him. “Sorry,” he whispered, sliding past her to sit down. She merely huffed and waved him off. Good start, Scott, he internally berated himself, and cracked open his textbook, quietly wondering if she already thought he was a completely hopeless case. Everyone went back to their own books and laptops, but he could still feel the professor’s eyes trained on him, judging him in stone-faced silence.

It wasn’t until they took a short break between lecture slides that Scott decided to try for a second first impression; if nothing else, he knew it would help to find an accountability partner for each of his classes (and not one who told him he didn’t need to set an alarm, Luis). “Hey, I’m Scott,” he offered.

The girl turned to look at him, allowing for a far better look at her face - mid-length dark hair, inquisitive brows, and a piercing gaze, her eyes similar in their shade of hazel-green to his. “Hope,” she said shortly, turning back to her screen. “Dr. Pym hates latecomers.”

“Yeah, I figured,” he chuckled sheepishly. “You’ve taken a class with him before?”

An odd smirk formed on her face, a quirk in the corner of her mouth that only intrigued him further. “Sure.”

“I read some pretty bad reviews of him, but he’s the only one who teaches some of the 300-level stuff I need. Wanted to get onto his good side early, but now it might be outta the question,” he continued, undeterred. “Any suggestions?”

“I know it’s bioengineering, but it’s not rocket science. Show up on time, do the readings, study for thirty hours a day. You just might scrape by,” she drawled.

“Well, when you put it like that,” Scott said, leaning back in his seat with a grin. “And while you’re giving advice, where’s the best place to study on campus?”

Hope finally looked at him again, her eyes flickering briefly across his face; he felt like he was being evaluated for something, but what, he couldn’t be quite sure. “Main library, third floor, by the windows. I’m usually there on Sunday mornings by ten, since everyone else is still sleeping.”

He met her gaze, his smile spreading. “Good to know.”

Once class was over, Hope remained in her seat until the entire room was empty, save for Dr. Pym at the front, packing up his things. “Any potential takers, or were you too busy batting your eyelashes at the boy sitting beside you?”

Hope rolled her eyes, shutting her laptop with a snap. “Don’t patronize me, Dad, I can have a life outside of your recruitment program. Why don’t you offer internships like every other CEO-slash-professor?”

“Because I’m not like other CEOs-slash-professors,” Hank insisted; Hope had to choke back her laugh at how absurd he sounded. “What, you think I’m going to stick just any random intern in the Ant-Man suit? No!”

She clicked her tongue dismissively, hoisting her bag onto her shoulder, and began making her way up the stairs to the exit. “If you ask me, Scott seems like the best choice.”

“For me, or for you?” he called. All he got in response was the loud clunk of the doors swinging shut.

Hope was not one to be told what to do, and never had been. She’d been a stubborn child, a stubborn teenager, and despite her parents’ best efforts, became a stubborn young adult. Despite Hope’s best efforts, however, she ended up following in their footsteps anyway, contrary to her bouts of teenage rebellion. She’d gone through her phases of wanting to be a veterinarian, a writer, a martial arts instructor, but ultimately found herself right back in the sciences under the loving tutelage of her genius parents. Still, now that she was in college, or more specifically, the college her parents taught at, she refused to tell people they were related. She had no intention of letting people immediately form opinions of her that she didn’t have control of. It didn’t help that Hank was constantly hovering over her shoulder like he didn’t already keep tabs on her phone’s GPS or put sensors in her car (which he didn’t know that she knew about).

“Can you not let our daughter be a normal student without dragging her into another one of your schemes?” Janet had protested when Hank first brought up his recruitment plans. “Just get an intern, Henry!”

Now, Hope sat at her favorite table in the library, drumming her pencil against its surface, considering all the things her father had told her to look for. Someone clever, hardworking, focused, adaptive. She couldn’t help but scoff at the last attribute he’d asked for - in other words, someone who will listen to you no matter what, Hope had wanted to say. Typical. She wasn’t even sure why Hank was looking for a successor, given that he and Janet had retired from their other lives by the time she was sixteen, but she knew questioning him about it would only lead to another eventual shouting match. Nothing made him happier than finding something to be angry about.

“Hey.” She looked up, both startled and pleased to see Scott smiling back at her. “Fancy seeing you here. Mind if I join you?”

She gestured for him to take the chair across from hers. “Please,” she said, finding his grin infectious and returning it with a small one of her own. “Don’t tell me you’re already having trouble with the material.”

“Dr. Pym sure has some different ideas about what a ‘first week’ looks like,” he sighed, unloading what seemed like the entire contents of his book bag onto the table. “The guy’s smart, but someone’s gotta tell him to relax.” Hope’s brow shot up at the offhand comment - maybe it was a strike against Scott for Hank’s purposes, that he wasn’t capable of meeting his demands. For her purposes, however, anyone who was willing to call out her dad’s...quirks was a person worth getting to know.

She reached across the table for his workbook. “May I?” At his nod, she pulled it towards her, scanning across the pages. “For someone who’s complaining, you seem to know what you’re doing.”

“I like learning about this kind of stuff, it’s just his teaching style. Dude’s gotta lighten up,” Scott shrugged, though his cheeks warmed at her sort-of compliment. “Hey, I never asked, what’re you majoring in?”

“Biochem, minor in commerce,” she replied. “You?”

“Engineering,” he said, taking his workbook back from her. “So I guess we won’t see much of each other outside of some general sciences stuff.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” she hummed. They exchanged somewhat shy smiles over the top of her laptop before resuming their work in comfortable, amiable silence.

Later that afternoon, she returned to the family townhouse - situated close to campus, where Hank and Janet (and now Hope) lived while they taught during the fall and spring semesters - with a slight spring in her step, feeling oddly optimistic. Hope had never put too much stock into relationships of any kind, preferring to focus more on herself, but she found Scott charming in a way she wanted to explore further. As for Hank’s intentions -

“Where have you been?”

“Really, Dad? What am I, seven years old?” Hope kicked off her shoes and hung up her jacket in the hall closet, deliberately keeping her back to him. “I was studying at the library, okay? Nothing scandalous.”

“Don’t give me attitude, Hope, it was just a question,” Hank grouched. “You got some time to join me in the lab? I have something to show you.”

“Fine,” she sighed, following him down into the basement suite, which Hank had transformed into a condensed version of his far more advanced laboratory at Pym Technologies. “What’s this about?”

Naturally, he didn’t answer, instead leading her to the back of the room where he kept all of his ant specimens. Hope tapped gently on the glass in greeting, and some of them wriggled their antennae back at her; she smiled, knowing it was really Hank who’d told them to. He then moved to knock on the back wall, a hollow metallic echo resonating back to them. Slowly, it slid open, revealing a glass display case behind it, illuminated so brightly that she could barely make out what was inside.

“Of course you have a secret door - wait, is that...is that a new suit?”

Hope moved closer, all the dry wit in her tone gone, now replaced with wonderment in her eyes as she stared at the unfamiliar suit before her. She could tell by the shape of its chestplate and the width of its hips that it was for a feminine figure, but it didn’t look anything like her mother’s suit. It was a silver-gold unlike Janet’s red; it was sleeker, a little more modern in comparison. She turned to look at her father in disbelief.

Hank smiled. “Congratulations on getting into college, honey.”

Hope let out a quiet gasp, then flung her arms around him, burying her face in his neck. “Dad,” she breathed, tears forming in her eyes. “How long have you been working on this?”

“Long enough,” he said, sounding both world-weary and proud, and he wrapped his arms around her in return. “Hope, that’s why I wanted you to help find my successor. They’re going to be your partner.”

She let go of him and stepped back. “What?”

“I know better than to pick for you,” Hank chuckled, rocking back on his heels. “Made the mistake of trying to tell you which extracurriculars to take when you were younger, and we all know how that turned out. But this is important, Hope. For me, sure, but really, for you.”

She walked back up to the case, splaying her palm open against the glass, still starry-eyed. “Partner,” she repeated.

“So, did you find anyone yet?”

Hope thought back to half an hour ago when she’d left Scott in the library, how easy it had been to work and chat and laugh with him, how she wasn’t quite ready to leave when she did. Then she tried to picture him standing in her father’s lab, the two of them arguing over the schematics of the suit, or the formulas they used, or just anything, really. She internally blanched.

“No, not yet.”

Sunday mornings at the library very quickly became a thing for Hope and Scott, where she stopped being surprised by his arrival (he made a point of promptly being there by ten) and he stopped needing to ask whether he could join her. He soon learned what her coffee order was, too, making a habit of bringing her a drink and a danish or donut, somehow always knowing which one she wanted every single time.

“Good memory,” he had shrugged when she asked him one time how he remembered she’d been craving something cherry-flavored, watching in astonishment as he deposited a small paper bag of a sugar-coated cherry strudel beside her laptop. Her first bite was more satisfying than she expected, trying not to make a show of it while he watched her with a sort of half-smile and a soft twinkle in his eyes.

Even stranger was the first time Hope ever saw Scott outside of the classroom or the library: at the on-campus gym, of all places, circling a punching bag. She took a moment to admire his arms (and silently criticize his footwork) before approaching him. “You really need to work on your form.”

He startled slightly at the sound of her voice, then laughed once he realized it was her. “Yeah, I’m not - I’m more of a runner type of guy, not a boxer. Didn’t know you were here, too.”

“I was over at the weight machines and I thought I saw a familiar face, though more sweaty than I’m used to,” she teased, walking around the bag so they were face-to-face. “I think you could use some advice.”

“You know this stuff?” he asked.

“I’ve been doing martial arts since I was eight,” she replied, shrugging easily.

“Didn’t know that.” He briefly bent to pick up his water bottle and take a long, generous swig; Hope briefly averted her eyes, not wanting to become too fixated on the way his throat moved while he did.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” she said instead, gesturing for him to follow her over to the mats. She then came to a standstill in the middle, holding up both of her hands so her palms were facing him. “Gloves off. Show me how to punch.”

“I was in - I mean, I know how to punch,” Scott hedged. She narrowed her eyes at his hesitation. Finally, with a sigh, he got into position, then threw a couple of punches, striking her hands half-heartedly.

“Terrible,” she said, lowering her arms, though she kept her tone light.

“You wanna show me how to - ” Scott let out a noise he wasn’t proud of as Hope knocked him right in the chest. He fell head over heels quite literally, stumbling backward over his own feet. “Oh - ”

“You asked.” Hope put her hands on her hips, smirking at Scott’s half-impressed, half-terrified expression. “Come on, back to work.”

After an hour-long impromptu bootcamp, they were both drenched in sweat and sore to the bone, him far more so than her. On their way to their respective locker rooms, Scott decided to strip off his T-shirt entirely, causing several heads to turn their way. He grinned when he noticed Hope keeping her chin a little too high in the air, her eyes practically glued to the ceiling. “What’s up?”

“No one likes a show-off,” she huffed, disappearing into the women’s showers.

The two of them ended up going to a hole-in-the-wall dive that was about a five-minute drive outside of the university campus, the kind of place that Hope admittedly would have never tried herself, having spent her life going to restaurants with more than one crystal chandelier and waiters that had been calling her “ma’am” since she was five. She remembered sitting between her parents, tugging uncomfortably at the runs in her tights, barely able to follow the conversation happening with the executive or researcher or whoever happened to be their plus one for the night who sat across the table from her, occasionally cooing at her like she was a newborn baby. Scott, meanwhile, looked right at home sitting across from her on a scratched-up booth bench that had certainly seen better days, his arm thrown over the back, his other hand drumming out an offbeat rhythm on the table’s surface. There was a quiet confidence to him that she very much envied, the ease in the slump of his shoulders painting a stark contrast to the tightness in hers.

“So what don’t I know about you?”

Hope was taken aback. “What?”

“You said there’s a lot I don’t know about you, and I can’t not ask after you say something like that,” he chuckled. “Like, what made you do martial arts as a kid? Why’re you majoring in science and minoring in business? What classes have you taken with Dr. Pym?”

She winced a little at the last one. “Why do you want to know?” she asked. “Is it because - ”

“Just curious,” he said, holding up his hands defensively. “But if you don’t wanna tell me, it’s cool. I’ve got my secrets, too.”

“Really, because you seem almost too transparent,” she said dryly. She leaned forward to rest her elbows on the table, then regretted it instantly when she realized how sticky it was. “Martial arts is something my parents thought would be important for me to learn, I want to - ” destined to, more like, she thought “ - work at a scientific research company, and Dr. Pym used to do summer workshops for high school students.”

He nodded slowly, absorbing her words, the words that she knew were half-truths at best, lies of omission at worst. Then: “I’ve been learning how to do close-up magic.”

“What,” she repeated, though flatly this time. He leaned in, his face startlingly close to hers, and she felt his fingers briefly brush against her earlobe before he triumphantly brandished a quarter in her face, his grin impossibly wide.

“I guess it’s not really a secret, but I’m getting pretty good at it,” he said, taking her hand and unfurling her fingers so he could press the coin into her palm. His hands were warm, his fingers unusually calloused for someone who supposedly didn’t work with much more than a keyboard. Hope wanted to ask, but she wasn’t even sure what to ask. She hadn’t exactly forgotten his comment earlier, either, whatever he was going to say before failing spectacularly at punching. Maybe his secrets were like hers - not shameful, exactly, just not something he wanted to talk about yet.

“I’m impressed.” She half-closed her hand around his, then leaned back so she felt like she could breathe again. “So is that just for fun, or...”

“You could say that.” He averted his eyes a little too quickly, finally sliding his hand away, back to his side of the table. “I’m still trying to figure out what kinda stuff I’m into, what I wanna do in like, life. I know, I know, it’s the most...typical college student stuff. But that’s what it’s all about, right? Figuring out who we are?”

“Going to the gym on a regular basis is definitely a good place to start,” she mused. “What else have you been doing?”

“Haven’t really had the chance to do much in the last three or so years,” he said mysteriously, resuming his drumming against the table. “And hey, I could use a personal trainer.”

Before Hope could reply, her phone went off. She glanced at Scott apologetically before looking down at her screen, groaning when she realized who it was. “Dad, I’m - no, I’m out right now, I can’t - I’ll be home - Dad, seriously - ”

While she talked, keeping her voice low and her mouth covered, Scott’s gaze wandered off around at the gaudy posters and neon signs, the leaky ceiling and the rusty window panes, before his eyes went back to her. Her hair was still somewhat damp, her brows were knitted together in clear frustration, and he could see the slight chipping of her fingernails, probably from the rough-and-tumble they’d had earlier. Scott wanted to take her hand again, to find some other magic trick or silly excuse that would allow him to do so without weirding her out. That is, he hoped she wasn’t put off by what he knew was his sometimes strangeness, little things and moments of “immaturity”, as his ex had so nicely called it (and it was nice of her, considering some of the things her current boyfriend had to say about him). He turned away when she started to hang up, certain that his face felt just the slightest bit warmer than it had a moment ago.

“Is he expecting you home right now?” Scott asked once she pocketed her phone. “If you have to go - ”

“I’m just fine where I am,” Hope said shortly, though her expression softened once their eyes met again. “What were you saying about a personal trainer?”

“Well, if you’re up to spending more time with me…” He trailed off, looking at her expectantly.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt,” she teased, grinning. Once more, they found themselves exchanging promising glances, barely breaking eye contact, even when their waiter came around with a plastic basket of oily nachos.

“So, I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s not - well.”

They were about two months into the semester, with the weather gradually getting colder and crisper, and classes getting progressively harder and deceptively longer. Scott and Hope were bundled in their thickest coats and walking across campus together, coffee and buttery pastries in hand, on their way to Hank’s class. It had become routine for them, to the point where Scott’s roommate teased them every time she dropped by their dorm.

“Hey, Hope,” Luis would say with a knowing grin. Then he’d turn into the room and call, “Scotty, your girl’s here to walk you to class!”, much to Scott’s embarrassment. Ruddy-cheeked, he would always push past Luis and mutter unintelligibly under his breath, then gesture for Hope to follow him far, far away.

“Luis and I actually knew each other before coming here,” Scott said. Strangely enough, he seemed to be avoiding her eyes. “We, uh, we met in jail?”

Hope stopped in her tracks. “Is that a question?” she said shortly, her breath stuck in her throat, fearing the absolute worst. “What were you in for?”

“Theft,” he admitted. She internally exhaled, though she remained wary. “Few months after graduating high school, my girlfriend got pregnant. I was doing an internship at a security company to save up for college, and then, y’know, the baby. All I saw were these guys in nice suits, bragging about vacation homes, golf scores, the usual. But then I heard ‘em talking about screwing over their customers, skimming money from their accounts. Figured it wouldn’t hurt to steal it back. Got caught, dumped, thrown into prison - in that order. I was let out early on good behavior, but if I wanna meet my daughter, my ex says I gotta prove that I’ve changed.”

Hope fiddled with the sleeve of her coffee cup, wearing away at the thin cardboard until the edges began to fray. “...oh.”

“I just didn’t want you to hear about it from someone else,” Scott continued, shooting her a strained smile. “I wanna be there for my daughter, I wanna be a good person. Honest, reliable...all that.”

She cleared her throat, giving him a small smile of her own. “What’s her name?”

“Cassie,” he said quietly.

“That’s a pretty name.” Her eyes dropped to the lid of her coffee cup for a moment, contemplating. “From what I can tell, Scott, you’re already honest. You just need more focus. Once your ex sees that, how badly you want to see Cassie...it’ll happen.”

“I sure hope so,” he said, his eyes softening. “Thanks for, uh, for hearing me out.”

She nodded. “Of course.”

Hank’s class was the usual long-winded lecture, filled with convoluted definitions and complex equations. Near the end, he handed back one of their reports before dismissing them. Hope immediately had to stash hers in her bag the moment she laid eyes on it, realizing he’d written excellent work, proud of you at the top of the front page, right next to her A-grade. Hank had never been one to express sentiment through writing (Janet had once shown Hope the love letters he’d written to her when they were young; they both had a good laugh at his earnest, but ultimately poor attempts), and it made her tear up a little at the last three words. Still, she didn’t want Scott to see. Scott looked confused at her erratic behavior, but merely grinned his easygoing grin and said his goodbyes, once again leaving her alone in the lecture hall with Hank.

“You’re getting pretty close to Lang, aren’t you?” he commented, eyeing her knowingly.

“We’re friends,” she replied tightly. “You don’t have to punish him for whatever imaginary rivalry you’ve got going in your head, by the way. I’ve seen the marks you’ve given him. He’s smarter than you literally give him credit for.”

“You know, I just can’t tell if you want him to be your partner or not,” Hank scoffed. “You’ve told me about his many supposed good qualities - his intelligence, memory, agility - and yet you also tell me you haven’t found anyone - ”

“I just haven’t, okay?” Hope interrupted. “Just - Dad, can you please just let me live my life, separate from yours?”

“Then why did you enroll in the very school that your mother and I work at? Why didn’t you go clear across the country like every other teenager?” Hank retorted, folding his arms across his chest.

“Sometimes, I really don’t know.” With that, Hope turned and stormed out of the lecture hall in a huff, some of her residual childish temper still lingering inside. Hank stood there, staring after her with the same fire in his eyes, simultaneously loving and hating the fact that she’d turned out to be a little too much like him.

Hope found herself spending more time in the gym or Scott’s dorm room than her family’s townhouse as the semester dragged on, avoiding her father’s stern looks and her mother’s placating smiles. She knew she was being immature about the whole ordeal, but it was hard not to feel stifled and cornered into bursts of anger when it seemed like they were constantly sitting on her shoulders. Something about seeing all the other college students going around campus, getting to truly be themselves for the first time, made her burn with a quiet envy she didn’t realize she had.

“I know it sounds like the dumbest thing to complain about, but I’m so sick of my parents always...being there,” Hope admitted one afternoon while she and Scott were sprawled across his tiny bedroom floor, lazily making their way through their homework. After he’d opened up about his time in jail, she wanted to return the favor and tell him more about herself, though she still tried to keep it as vague as possible. “It’s not like I want them gone or anything, but sometimes I wish it was like when I was little, and they’d go on business trips out of the blue. I’d be at home with a sitter for weeks at a time, wondering if they’d ever come back. Now, I...almost want that distance again. Just enough so I don’t feel like I have to live up to something.”

Scott hummed thoughtfully, his head tilted in a way she somehow found more charming than cloying. “Have you told them how you feel? I’m sure they’d wanna know if they were pressuring you, they sound like good parents.”

“If you knew them, you’d know it isn’t that simple,” she sighed.

“Can I? Meet them, I mean,” he added.

She quirked an eyebrow. “And...why do you want to meet my parents, exactly?” Scott could only look at her dumbfoundedly, as if he’d just realized the weight of what he was asking for. Hope smiled, shuffling closer to rest her elbows on top of his knees, her bright-eyed gaze meeting his. “Is it because - ”

Scott kissed her before she could finish her sentence. She let out a startled noise before returning the kiss, pleased that she hadn’t been imagining things, that it wasn’t just her wishful thinking that he’d been offhandedly flirting with her for the past few months.

Knock knock. “Hey, Scotty - ” before either of them had time to react, the door swung open to reveal Luis standing there with a plastic bag overloaded with takeout containers “ - whoa, what’s going on?”

Scott broke the kiss first, shooting her a faux-stern look. “Really, Hope? I thought we were here to study and then you go around kissing me like that, honestly - ”

“You are so full of shit, Scott,” she retorted without missing a beat, half-sighing and half-laughing in exasperation. She moved to gather up her things from around the room, pointedly keeping her back to Luis, who was snickering behind his hand. “I should get going, I promised my mom I’d hang out with her tonight.”

“Wait, I’ll walk you out,” Scott called as she swept past him. He got to his feet and grabbed his room key, then turned to fix Luis with a pointed stare. “Dude.” Luis merely shrugged, chuckling, and sat down at his desk like nothing had happened.

“I mean it, I have to get going,” Hope said, though she was still waiting for Scott while he closed the door behind him. “Mom’s probably waiting for me.”

“Sorry about, y’know, him,” Scott said, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder. The two of them quickly fell into step like they always did, walking down the hall to the building doors. “I meant it, though. I haven’t really had a relationship with my parents since I got sent to jail, so...it’d be cool to meet yours. And…‘cos of the other thing.”

“Someday,” she hummed noncommittally. “And the ‘other thing’? I’m not sure what you mean. I thought we were here to study.”

“Now who’s full of it?” he grinned, coming to a stop right in front of the exit. He leaned in, his nose brushing against hers; she was the one to close the gap this time. “Have a good time with your mom.”

“Have a good time with your...Luis,” Hope said, smirking in the way he adored, and she disappeared through the doors. Scott stood there for a moment longer just to chuckle to himself, shaking his head in awe, before returning to his room.

Once Hope returned home, she quickly changed into her workout clothes and went down into the other half of the basement suite - the makeshift gym - to find Janet already there, working with the speed bag. It was one of their rare nights alone together since Hank was doing a talk at a conference two towns over. According to a string of text messages he’d sent them both, it was ‘one of the most inane things’ he’d ever done and reportedly made him miss the days of endless bureaucratic SHIELD meetings. “Sorry I’m late,” Hope said by way of greeting.

“That’s alright. You have a good time with Scott?” Janet asked, stopping to grin at her daughter.

“Don’t,” Hope sighed. “I already get enough of that from Dad, I don’t need to hear it from you.”

“Speaking of your father...I told him to stop asking you about that whole partner thing, and...he agreed.” Janet nodded at Hope’s surprised expression. “You don’t need that going on during your very first semester of college. You’ve already got plenty to worry about.”

Hope smiled gratefully. “Thanks, Mom. I don’t want you guys to think I don’t want this, you know I’ve been wanting my own suit my entire life. But...this isn’t just something I can ask of someone out of nowhere. And I need someone who can be my partner, not his. I need time.”

“I know, jellybean,” Janet said, her voice soft. “Even then...you just focus on yourself, alright?”

“Easier said than done,” Hope sighed. “Maybe Dad’s right. Maybe I should’ve just gone to school somewhere else. Make my life my own for a little while instead of getting angry at you both for...well, for being good parents.”

“Oh, Hope…” Janet removed her gloves entirely so she could properly wrap her arms around her daughter, bringing her in for a tight hug. “We are so proud of you already, you have to know that. We don’t need you to be perfect, we just need you to be yourself. And if you need some space so you can do that, take it, okay? No matter what your father says.”

“You know he wouldn’t like it if I left,” Hope chuckled, burrowing her face into Janet’s shoulder. “Both of you would be calling me every single day.”

“We would, wouldn’t we?” Janet chuckled. “But seriously, jellybean, promise me you won’t be worrying about what we think. Let it be about you.”

Hope’s smile broadened, and she stepped back to meet her mother’s gaze, bright and wise and warm. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “I will.”

Another week went by, then two, then a few more, and suddenly, it was the day before Scott and Hope’s last final, which happened to be for Hank’s class. They were studying in the library, occasionally looking up to exchange warm smiles before returning to their notes, Scott playfully nudging Hope’s foot underneath the table every now and then, basking in the comfortable silence.

Then: “So, my ex called today.”

Once again, Hope found herself caught by surprise. “Oh?”

“We made a deal,” Scott continued, flipping the page of his textbook, making a point of not lifting his head to meet Hope’s steely-eyed gaze. “If I get at least Bs in all my classes and get a job or an internship or something in the next six months, I can see Cassie as often as I want.”

“That sounds reasonable. You’re getting As in all of your classes, Scott,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, but it’s the job thing I’m worried about. You know how hard it is for ex-cons to find work? Especially for a guy who got jail time for messing with his last workplace?” He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I wanna be responsible, I wanna be there for her, but...I’m basically screwed.”

Hope chewed her bottom lip in deep thought, guilt beginning to settle a little too comfortably in the pit of her stomach. The solution was right there, right in front of her face, while Scott was completely unaware there even was a solution to be had. Part of her wanted to be selfish, to keep Scott to herself, to not let her parents take over yet another aspect of her life. All she could think about was Scott’s irritation with Hank’s personality and Hank’s vitriol for Scott’s...existence. At the same time, considering how things were going, the tip-toeing progression of their relationship that was moving (in her opinion) at just the right pace, he was going to find out eventually, wasn’t he?

“I can get you a position at Pym Technologies,” she finally said, closing her laptop so she could look him straight in the eye. “When can you start?”

“Wait, what? How? Dr. Pym didn’t say anything about internships - ”

“Neither did I. And he’s been looking for a while now, he just didn’t want people to know.”

Scott’s brow furrowed further. “Then...how did you find out about it?”

Hope sucked her breath in between her teeth. “I’m his daughter.”

Scott’s mouth almost comically dropped open, gaping at her like a fish. Just as quickly, his jaw then clicked shut, clenching tight. Hope had never seen his eyes grow so cold; she shivered. “Hope.”

“Scott, I - ”

“Hope,” he repeated. “Come on, why didn’t you tell me? All semester, I’ve been talking so much crap about Dr. Pym, and this whole time you’ve been listening to me, and, and...and lying to me?” She glanced briefly over his shoulder to see students at the other tables beginning to turn and stare at them, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“I know it was wrong, okay, and for that, I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “But...you have to know why I did it, Scott. I’ve spent my whole life being told that my parents are geniuses, and that I have to live up to those expectations and be one myself. I have to be well-rounded but focused, social but disciplined, all these...things that eventually became too much for me. I’m better at balancing all those things now, but I still wanted just one thing to be my own, and...I wanted it to be you. I didn’t want you to think anything of me because of them, but...I guess I was the only one who didn’t think this through. It was selfish. I was selfish.”

“No, it’s not - ” Scott inhaled sharply, then reached across the table to take her hand and give it a brief squeeze. “ - it’s not selfish, I mean, I get it. I didn’t want you to know about my criminal past for sort of the same reason. First impressions, right? Having all these ideas about a person before you actually get to know them.” He smiled in the sort of crooked way that made her let go of the breath she didn’t realize she was still holding. “So uh, were you serious about that Pym Tech internship thing?”

Hope chuckled, simultaneously burnt out from worry and relieved by Scott’s easygoing acceptance. “Just like that, huh?”

“Sure,” he shrugged. “And at least it explains why Dr. Pym seems to side-eye me more than anyone else. I didn’t think I was doing that bad.”

She smiled, her shoulders finally relaxing, and glanced down briefly to their still-intertwined fingers. “It might be a little more...involved than you might expect, but I think you can handle it. Also, I never said it was an internship.”

Hank’s final went about as smoothly as expected, which was to say it didn’t go smoothly at all. The problem wasn’t the test itself; both Hope and Scott were diligent students with a good understanding of the material, but there was a tension in the lecture hall that hadn’t existed before. Scott took one look at Hank, now having mentally labelled him as Hope’s father, and it made him more nervous than the essay questions ever would.

“Something wrong, Lang? Your eye is twitching,” Hank observed while he distributed the test papers.

Scott gave him an awkward double thumbs-up. “All good here.” His voice was at least an octave higher than its usual pitch. Hope held back her usual eye-roll.

After their exam was over, Scott went back to his dorm room to sleep off his post-finals week exhaustion, but not before giving Hope a brief kiss while Hank was packing up his bag. “Hey, good luck,” he murmured. “You got this.”

Hope squeezed his arm in return, enjoying the fact that she didn’t even have to turn her head to know what Hank’s expression looked like. “I know I do,” she replied quietly, smirking.

The car ride back to their townhouse was silent - for once, Hope had allowed Hank to drive her to and from class instead of taking her own car - save for the college radio station, where the monotonous host droned on about the last stretch of the semester. It was only when they arrived that Hank wordlessly gestured for her to follow him into the basement laboratory. She winced in anticipation of what was to come.

Hank opened the secret wall once more, calling the display case forward, and Hope went to stand by his side. It took her a moment to realize there was another mannequin on the other side of the glass, this one donning a masculine suit with similar design lines and detailing to match hers, but rendered in her father’s preferred red-and-black color scheme. Goosebumps went up her arms as she stepped closer, the glass sliding open so she could gently run the tips of her fingers across the material of her own suit. It was then that she could truly feel how solid it was, how real her childhood fantasy had become. “So...what do you think?”

She turned to look at him. “They look amazing, Dad. But I really need to talk to you about something.”

“So do I,” Hank sighed, sinking down into his chair. “Hope, I...realize that I may have been pushy about you finding someone to work with. I know we’re not exactly on the same page about the progress of your...let’s call it your career, shall we?”

Hope smiled. “Let’s. And I know that you and Mom mean well, and I don’t want you thinking I’m not grateful for everything you guys have done for me. But...I don’t want to end up resenting you both for making my life fit into yours.”

“We just want what’s best for you, Hope,” Hank protested. “And you’ve proven yourself over and over again. It’s why I made the suit.”

“I get that.” She sat down in the chair opposite him, reaching across to rest her hand on his knee. “I’d just like it if my life was my own sometimes, or else I’m going to be left wanting. Wondering what it could be like.”

He went silent for a moment, contemplating. Then, he placed his hand over hers. “You know I’m no good at this kind of thing,” he said gruffly. “But tell me what we can do.”

“Trust me?” It came out more of a question than a statement. She cleared her throat. “And I mean really trust me to make my own choices.”

“I do,” Hank said automatically. When Hope fixed him with a look, he also coughed, leaning back into his seat. “More than you think. And if this is about your taste in partners - ”

“ - I don’t need to explain myself to you,” she interrupted, her voice hard. “I’m not a child anymore, Dad. If I bring him here to put on the suit and train with me, I need you to respect him and our relationship.”

He held up his hands in defeat. “Alright, alright, I hear you. But I’m glad to hear you’ve made your decision.”

“I wanted to keep him away from you,” she admitted, finally withdrawing her hand. “I wanted my college experience to be just like anyone else’s, and I didn’t want to pull him into our world when he’s been one of the most normal things about my world that I’ve ever had. But I would’ve just been delaying the inevitable, and...I really want to put on that suit.”

Hank laughed, getting to his feet and gesturing for her to follow. “I know you do. Why do you think I’ve been working on it for so long?” Hope smiled, standing as well and moving to wrap her arms around him. He hugged her in return, pressing a kiss into her forehead. “You’re really running things around here these days, aren’t you? Just like your mother. Too damn clever and stubborn for your own good.”

“Always,” Hope replied, grinning.

“Is the blindfold really necessary? I feel like I’m gonna trip.” As if on cue, Scott’s foot slipped out from under him; Hope caught him by the waist before he could fall any further.

“Dad’s the kind of paranoid who thinks the neighbors steal our mail, do you really think he’d be okay with you entering his lab without one?” she drawled, straightening him up. “Just a few more steps.”

Once they reached the bottom, Hope briefly let go to type in the code on the door’s keypad, her heart thumping wildly against her ribcage with anticipation. The door slid open to reveal Hank and Janet sitting by one of the worktables, poring over blueprints for a new model of the quantum tunnel. They both looked up at the sound of Scott and Hope’s footsteps.

Hope helped Scott remove his blindfold, watching him blink blearily into the light, squinting, before his eyes landed on her parents. He blanched slightly. “Dr. Pym...Miss Van Dyne, it’s so nice to meet you.” He held out his hand to shake, though he nearly tripped over his own feet in doing so. Hope nudged him upright with her shoulder. “Hope talks about you all the time.”

“All good things, I assume,” Janet beamed, getting to her feet so she could return the gesture. “She’s briefed you on what’s going on around here, right?”

“NDA and all,” Scott said, laughing awkwardly. “I also read up about you guys after she told me. Really impressive stuff.”

“I hope it wasn’t just my reviews on that professor rating website,” Hank grouched, though he motioned for them to join him at the display case, which had remained in full view since his conversation with Hope from a few days ago. It was the weekend after exam week was over, and the Pym-Van Dynes had spent the last couple of days mulling over Hope’s decision, weighing the pros and cons of bringing, in Hank’s words, an “inexperienced civilian” into their fold, eventually agreeing that a quick background check, typical of any normal employer, would do the job (Hope drew the line at trying to contact his family as references, though; she got the impression that his parents would have nothing but thinly-veiled insults to offer). Scott had spent the last couple of days sleeping.

“Oh, wow…” Scott was speechless as he approached the glass, his starry-eyed expression reminiscent of Hope’s. “This is so cool. It’s like a, a motorcycle suit or something.”

“It’s not - ” Hank cut himself off with a huff. “It’s for you, Scott.”

“Really?” Scott turned to look at Hank. “Can I try it on?”

“Not yet, we have to measure you and make some adjustments,” Janet piped up, pointing toward a small platform for him to stand on. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all,” Scott grinned, hopping up with all the enthusiasm of a child getting to try on their Halloween costume for the first time. Janet went to grab her measuring tape and tablet, while Hope smiled up at Scott, the discomfort in her stomach slowly ebbing away. Hank still looked as sour as ever, but Hope spotted a twitch in the corner of his mouth that suggested maybe, just maybe, this was going to work.

A few hours later, after Hank and Janet had rattled through what Hank called the introductory course to, among other things, Pym Particles and the Ant-Man suit, Scott and Hope sat on the living room couch together, watching a movie, while they waited for her parents to finish preparing dinner for the four of them.

Hope soon noticed Scott seemed to be sending off a series of texts, though she bit her tongue before her curiosity could get the best of her. “Thank you,” she murmured instead, gently prodding his leg with her toe.

“Of course,” he said, immediately pocketing his phone. He turned to fully face her and propped his elbow up on the back of the couch, tilting his head down somewhat so their foreheads brushed. “Hey, this is the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me. This is gonna be awesome.”

“I’m glad it’s that simple for you,” she replied, mirroring his movements; their elbows met in the middle. “It’s going to be a lot of work, Scott.”

“I know,” he shrugged. “But it feels like the right thing to do. I really needed this, after all the crap that’s gone wrong in my life. A chance to prove myself.”

“You’ll have plenty,” she promised. Then, she couldn’t help herself, finding her gaze flickering to his phone; she could see its screen lighting up over and over again, silently chiming in with more notifications. “What’s going on there?”

“Maggie, my ex,” Scott said, sitting up so he could pull it out of his pocket. “I told her I got a job, she’s been bugging me with questions ever since. Told her I’d tell her more later, once your dad gets me up to speed on what I can and can’t tell people.” His grin broadened. “She did send me a couple pictures of Cassie, though. Wanna see?”

Hope nodded almost shyly, her heart melting when Scott turned the screen in her direction. “Oh, Scott, she’s adorable.” It was a series of photos of a little three-year-old girl in a high chair with the biggest, roundest brown eyes Hope had ever seen, grinning toothily at the camera, the majority of her face covered in chocolate cake. “It’s a good reminder - you’re doing this for her.”

“And for me,” he added, tucking his phone away. “And...a little bit for you.”

“Is that so?” she teased, leaning in closer once more. “Just a little bit?”

“Teeny...tiny...ant-sized bit,” Scott whispered, bringing his mouth to hers. Hope groaned, though both of them shook a little with silent laughter as she pulled him in closer, winding her arms around him until their legs were fully intertwined, him pressing her into the couch. Much to Hank’s chagrin, she barely moved to break the kiss when he entered the room and cleared his throat.

“When you two are finished, dinner’s ready,” he said tightly, then turned on his heel and walked right back into the dining room. Hope finally pulled away so she could laugh into Scott’s shoulder, delighting in how pink his face had gotten (though he didn’t look too ashamed of himself, either). Yes, it was more than a maybe; things were going to be just fine.

a/n: I love a good ol' college AU, and getting to do some character exploration of what Hope would be like if her parents were around for her entire adolesence was pretty interesting! And, of course, writing overly-confident, kinda-awkward flirting between these two is one of my favorite things about the Scott/Hope dynamic. I think I'm starting to get the hang of the Ant-fam's characterization?

Thanks so much for reading, likes and reblogs would be much appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed :)

#langdyne #scotthope #hopescott #langdyne fic #scotthope fic #myfic #marvel #surprise i guess?#i wrote this one super fast #and honestly i've been in far more of a langdyne mood lately #(and also carol/valkyrie but i'm not sure what to write for it yet)#(and i will get back to ATU i promise!!)

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florrickandassociates · 5 years

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TGF Thoughts: 3x01-- The One About The Recent Troubles

HI GUYS I WROTE A LOT

New season, new naming convention. Well, it’s either that or Diane Lockhart’s joined a reboot of Friends. Jokes aside, I don’t love the new naming convention (I never watched Friends) but I don’t dislike it either. It’s fine. What I do like is that we’ve dropped any sort of counting (unless you consider “the one” counting). (I am just now realizing that last season’s episode titles were more in the TGW tradition than I thought-- they were just another form of counting). Three seasons in, TGF is its own show (with its own titles!), and that makes me very happy.

I’m about to hit play on my third viewing of this episode. I watched at 5 am on the day it was released (worth it, tbh), then again with my roommate after work that same day.

This year’s previously montage works better than last year’s, but I still don’t love it. The selection of clips seems a little random at first: Liz talking about her father? The Assholes to Avoid case that I was hoping to avoid thinking about ever again? Okay…?

It’s time for some tone-setting! “I’m happy,” Diane states as the season opens. She’s in bed with Kurt, waking up in the morning. This is one of those statements that becomes important mostly because it’s so prominent. I believe that Diane’s happy with her life and happy waking up next to her husband, but I don’t think Diane is trying to make a Thesis Statement. I think she’s just expressing that she feels good. The writers, however, definitely want us to note that Diane starts out the season in a good, happy place. This is because they are going to slowly complicate and destroy Diane’s happiness. That’s not a spoiler-- it’s a prediction.

Kurt laughs. “You like narrating your life,” he comments. Interesting.

“You know, there are psychological studies that say, when people are happy, they look desperately for things to make them unhappy. But that won’t happen to us, will it?” Diane wonders. Of course it will. I know these writers. If there’s one thing they hate it’s writing more than a few scenes of a healthy marriage.

Diane and Kurt’s new bedroom confuses me. It has an arch that seems very low and I can’t tell if that’s the angle or not. Also, we only see the area with the bed, the bathroom, and a large sitting room in this episode. It would make sense for Diane to have a bedroom suite and a separate living room/dining room/kitchen, but the way this episode is shot makes it feel like Diane and Kurt only have that one space.

Now Diane’s asking Kurt for reassurance that everything’s going to be alright, and she seems moderately worried that he doesn’t sound certain when he responds. Maybe there are still some issues there…?

“What could go wrong?” Kurt asks, and right on cue, shit starts to blow up. (By which I mean the title sequence rolls.)

New objects/shots this year include: A tea set, aerial shots of a wine bottle, coffee cups (they discovered aerial shots this year and clearly liked them a lot), the same four purses from last year but arranged differently (looks cooler now), new images on the TV (bye, tiki torch nazis), and the entire set where they staged the explosions.

The third co-creator is still listed, because his name will be attached to this show for as long as it runs, but I really want to know: what did Phil Alden Robinson even do to create the show? Invent the basic sketch of the premise and the new characters? Just today I saw him credited in an article praising season 3, and it’s my understanding that he hasn’t even touched TGF since the pilot, back before the Kings signed on.

The Kings wrote this episode, but I didn’t need the credits to tell me that. Robert directed, too, which is only surprising because I wasn’t sure if it would be him or if it would be Brooke Kennedy.

Complaining about this now before I get any farther into the episode: CBS, FIX YOUR CLOSED CAPTIONING. Someone over at All Access doesn’t believe in apostrophes and it’s driving me up a wall.

After the credits, we resume with Julius talking about Carl Reddick, founding partner of RBL and civil rights icon. Julius has to be prompted to add on that last part, but Lucca doesn’t: she read about Reddick in history books.

Lucca’s dress for the interview shouldn’t work, but she pulls it off. It has several different colors and patterns, big gold buttons, and a ruffle down one side.

Here’s Liz’s comment on her father: “When my father died, I could think of no better way to honor his life than by taking over his partnership here.” We know that’s only partially true.

Next up is Reddick’s secretary of 15 years. She refers to him as “Mr. Reddick” instead of “Carl” and seems uncomfortable talking about her experience. Jay and Marissa, who have for some reason been tasked with creating promotional materials for the firm, notice her hesitance. Marissa asks what a typical day was like, and the secretary-- Cynthia-- starts to cry.

Cut to the RBL website, which is very boring and generic. “Who are you?” a publicity consultant asks Adrian and Liz. This reminds me of two things: one, Diane and Will’s conversation in season 4 about firm identity, and two, the fact that Hitting the Fan started off with the line “You’re stable.” Isn’t that very reminiscent of this episode starting off with, “I’m happy.”?! Yikes, we must be in for a ride…

Adrian’s answer is that they are a “mid-size Chicago law firm.” Really? That’s all you’ve got? The consultant pushes further-- he wants their story. Liz says their story is that they’re growing with new hires and a new floor. The consultant isn’t happy with that, either, because he seems to believe there’s only one right answer: they’re an African American firm, and that is their entire identity. Ugh.

When TGF first started, RBK felt like a firm that had an identity and a mission-- a commitment to giving black lawyers opportunities for success in an environment where no one would be a token, coupled with a strong focus on civil rights cases (particularly police brutality cases). I assumed that was the shared goal of Carl, Adrian, and Barbara, but the firm’s gone through enough changes that I’m willing to accept that RBL might now be struggling for an identity. Carl’s dead, Barbara was always the one who would actually put her money where her mouth is (sorry, Adrian), Diane is (as always) interested in being profitable while looking like a liberal legend, and Liz accepted partnership because it was a lucrative offer that fell into her lap right when she lost her job at the DOJ.

Adrian says he doesn’t want RBL to be sold as an African American law firm. Hasn’t he pitched it as such in the past?

“Diversity is in right now. Black Panther. Black-ish. And diversity is something you have in sp-- in abundance,” the consultant says. My God, he’s terrible. He’s also using “diverse” and “black” as interchangeable words.

Adrian gets a reprieve when Jay and Marissa call him out of his meeting, but it doesn’t last long. Cynthia, Carl’s secretary, told Jay and Marissa that Carl repeatedly sexually assaulted her.

“He forced her for 15 years? Why would Cynthia stay for 15 years?” Adrian asks incredulously. “Seriously?” Marissa replies. Woah there. I agree wholeheartedly with Marissa but just because I’d write “SERIOUSLY?” in a recap doesn’t mean I’d ever say it to a name partner with that tone! (But really: Marissa’s very right. “Why would she stay?” is a terrible argument. Cynthia had bills to pay and a family (or at least a daughter) to care for. She likely didn’t have the luxury of looking for a new job. And that’s setting aside the fact that for decades, language around sexual assault wasn’t widely known!)

Adrian asks Marissa and Jay to keep quiet, and Marissa pushes back, asking if it’s so they can cover it up. Marissa! You’re not helping your cause here!

“Marissa, I don’t have the luxury right now of being outraged. That doesn’t mean I’m not outraged,” Adrian explains.

In the hallway, Jay suggests that Marissa give Adrian (and Carl) a break, since the Reddick name brings in half of their business, and if Reddick’s name becomes toxic, the firm could be in trouble. “Well, then, maybe it should be,” Marissa responds.

I loooooooove Diane’s new hairstyle! It’s been ten years; it’s time for a change.

Diane is about to head into the office when she notices Kurt went hunting the previous night with a gun he hates. And to make matters worse, there are blonde hairs on his jacket and Kurt won’t admit he went shooting with anyone. Well, I guess Diane’s happiness didn’t last very long at all.

Maia has a scratched cornea, so she’s wearing big sunglasses. “I wouldn’t wear those when you meet with the partners,” Marissa says, planting a bad idea in Maia’s mind. The sunglasses take two seconds to explain, and no one is going to fault her for this. If Maia didn’t get fired for not doing any work over a two year period, she’s going to be just fine wearing medically-required sunglasses to an internal meeting.

Julius wants to talk to Maia and explains that on the new website, they’re adding associate and partner bios. They just might not be adding Maia’s. “Don’t take it as a criticism. You’re doing a great job,” Julius says. This is basically the only circumstance in which I understand giving Maia praise: trying to keep her from causing a scene by stroking her ego.

Since Maia took off her sunglasses, she now appears to be crying. Since Maia lacks common sense, she does not explain why she is crying, leading Julius to keep heaping on the praise and explain the obvious (it’s about her parents’ scandal). Maia says she understands and that “this is all medical.” THAT’S SO VAGUE, MAIA. You’re looking for the sentence you just said to Marissa: “I have a scratched cornea.” I know this moment is supposed to be funny. It just makes Maia look impressionable (she took off the glasses) and slow (she can’t easily navigate out of this situation when the exit route is obvious). I already think Maia is both of those things, so I’m not complaining about this scene (I did laugh!), it’s just… Maia, why???

Julius is so confused by Maia’s odd reaction that he goes straight to Lucca’s office. Lucca is pumping and doesn’t care who sees, because she’s the fucking best. Julius asks Lucca to talk to Maia about the website.

Diane’s still thinking about the hair when she arrives at RBL. Marissa greets her with an empty mug, I mean, with coffee. Diane asks what Adrian wants to talk to her about, and Marissa says, “I’ve been told I speak too much, so I won’t handle that.” If Marissa weren’t so good at her job she’d need to watch out.

Marissa tries to join Adrian and Diane’s meeting, and Adrian slowly closes the door in her face. Marissa walks away. I love it when this show emphasizes that their main players aren’t all of equal status at the firm, and this episode does a fantastic job of showing it.

Adrian explains the Reddick issue to Diane. He’s (wisely) chosen to go to Diane before Liz about this.

Adrian’s plan is to have Cynthia sign an NDA, and now there’s a “Good Fight Short” to educate us about NDAs. God, this show is weird and I love it.

“Think they’re maybe always in a red folder but I didn’t do my research that well” cracks me up.

“Let’s try to count all the red folders in the show today. You know what who cares just pay attention, put your phone away,” the song continues. Okay, show, I’ll listen to you and put my phone (on which I’m watching this show) away and go run my errands. That’s what you wanted, right?

A storm rolls in as Adrian and Diane pay Cynthia a visit. Thunder is dramatic, in case you were unaware.

Adrian tells Cynthia he knew nothing about Reddick’s behavior. He reaches for the NDA a little too quickly and Diane slows things down.

Adrian promises they’ll have sexual harassment training moving forward. Cynthia reminds him that they’ve always had that-- but partners never attended. Or, apparently, remembered that it existed.

Diane and Adrian hear pots and pans banging in the kitchen and realize that Cynthia’s daughter is home. That complicates things because the daughter anticipates the NDA and doesn’t want her mom to sign.

When Cynthia leaves the room, Adrian comments to Diane that “this house, it reminds me of my aunty’s house.” Diane just smiles, probably because that’s a reference she can’t understand.

The partners hold a secret meeting without Liz, which is certainly a way to handle this but probably not the optimal way. Liz should know what’s going on before any NDAs concerning her firm are created.

Liz notices that the offices are empty, and asks Marissa (who’s walking past) where everyone is. “I have no idea. I’m just staying on the sidelines today,” Marissa says unhelpfully. Great attitude. Very professional. As you’d expect, Liz is not satisfied with that answer.

Downstairs, the MANY partners of RBL are debating next steps. Why do they always pack these partner meeting scenes with so damn many extras? How many partners am I meant to believe they have?!

As we learned in the Assholes to Avoid episode, the most interesting thing about #MeToo is that it’s controversial and leads people to talk over each other. That’s what’s happening in this scene, but it works far better than the show’s last attempt at showing this idea. Unsurprisingly, when they have more to say than just “controversial topic is controversial” they do better.

And, I’m not sure where to put it so I’ll just say it here, I think the Kings have more to say about #MeToo, and a new (and better) angle on it because it hit closer to home. This plot isn’t a reenactment of what happened with Moonves, but the ideas it explores? Once you think about Moonves and the role he had in bringing TGW to life (and keeping it on the air), it’s all you’ll see. This plot is the Kings reckoning with how to move forward and create distance after a powerful man in no small part responsible for their own success turns out to be a serial harasser.

And that’s so much more interesting than “what if we took the Aziz Ansari thing but removed all nuance?” TGW, and TGF, wouldn’t have existed without Les Moonves. I’m pretty certain I’ve heard the Kings and Julianna-- and probably other cast members-- speak glowingly about him (before the allegations, obvs). He allowed TGW to flourish (and TGF to exist, which is kind of amazing when you think about it) while also enabling sexual assault all throughout CBS.

The reason for this meeting? Now they want to pay Cynthia off. Diane suggests letting the story surface, emphasizing that Carl did good things and bad things. Diane also, wisely, notes that if they pay someone off, then it becomes the whole firm’s problem. But it seems they might have already paid someone off, so it’s too little, too late. RBK had, in 2012, agreed to cover all of Reddick’s sexual harassment suits. (This is, apparently, “standard” for CEOs, barf.)

I’d still like to dig into Diane’s “just own it” idea a little more, but I do see why the other partners (the ones who were actually there for the bulk of the time Reddick was) shut it down.

Then Wendy, the stenographer, speaks up: Carl Reddick assaulted her, too. If there are two, there are more than two, and I’m surprised that Liz is the first person to suggest this.

At home, later, Diane scrolls through Netflix (not a streaming site, this is Netflix’s layout with different shows), unable to decide what to watch. I’m sad to report none of the fake shows are any fun, and none of them are Darkness at Noon. I guess Darkness at Noon is probably on AMC All Access, behind a paywall…

Kurt arrives home and asks what Diane’s doing. “Figuring out whether to watch a German series about serial killers or a Scandinavian series about serial killers,” Diane replies. Haven’t we all been there? That’s scrolling through Netflix in one sentence.

Diane has “helped” Kurt pack for a trip, and THANK GOD, she’s not kicking him out (that’s how scenes where the husband arrives home to find his bags packed always go). She’s passive-aggressively packing for his upcoming trip she discovered on their credit card account.

Kurt’s going on a safari. Diane says she doesn’t shoot anymore (I guess since 2x10?) and wants to know who Kurt’s going with. Shouldn’t Kurt be telling Diane if he’s going to go on a safari?

Kurt senses something’s up and asks what’s wrong. Diane says work has her thinking about “men.” Then she tells Kurt she doesn’t think he’s being honest and says she doesn’t like pretending to be the “cool wife who overlooks lies.” Is “Cool Wife” a variation of “Cool Girl” and if so, can we get a Gillian Flynn novel about it, please?

Finally, the truth emerges: Kurt isn’t hiding an affair (though Diane briefly suspects he’s seeing someone named “Holly Westfall” again… idk, have we ever heard that name? Nothing’s coming to mind, because Kurt never cheated on Diane and Peter’s trial never happened.). He’s giving private shooting lessons to 45’s sons.

My GOD, Diane’s reaction.

I love how every time Diane says “safari” she says it with a little more disbelief in her voice.

Kurt says this is just a job; he’s being paid. Can he take someone else’s money then? How strapped for cash is he? This is like the “we’re defense attorneys!” line Diane always goes back to. SURE, but you don’t have to take EVERY case to be profitable.

Diane proceeds to start BANGING HER HEAD AGAINST THE WALL, REPEATEDLY. This scene is simultaneously comedic, dramatic, and ridiculous and I love it. I’m not sure how it manages to feel far-fetched and also character-driven at the same time, but hey, it works.

Diane storms out, saying she’s going to do something she should’ve done nine months ago: conjure up space bugs. Okay, no, she’s making contact with her FuzzyFuzzyCuteCute friend, but she’s doing so in a way that involves moving lots of flowers to her windowsill, and THAT’S HOW YOU DRAW IN THE SPACE BUGS.

In case I haven’t said it enough times, TGF in some ways seems more like it’s a continuation of BrainDead than TGW.

Diane talks to Tara and asks her to break her NDA (some legal nonsense) and come forward with allegations that 45 paid for her abortion. Tara asks Diane why now, and Diane’s answer is kind of bullshit: “because now it’s personal.” And it wasn’t before?! And that matters?! (I believe it from Diane, but come on. You need it to be personal to fight this as hard as you can? The fact that this administration’s policies are having catastrophic effects on families isn’t enough?)

Adrian finally shows Liz the interview with Cynthia, and Audra McDonald could win an Emmy for her reaction shots alone (I can’t say enough times how pleased I am with the addition of Liz). Adrian draws the curtains of Will’s office, I mean Liz’s office, to give them some privacy. Good move.

Liz wants to know if Adrian knew, and she has good reasons to believe he might have. For one, when they were married, Adrian asked how her parents were doing-- suggesting they might have reason to not be doing so well.

Liz goes into her bathroom (first time we’ve seen this set, though we’ve obviously known it existed from ~Willicia sexytimes~) (Not to derail this recap entirely, but does anyone else ever wonder how Willicia would’ve played in this day and age? I wouldn’t consider it assault or harassment because it was obviously consensual, but I don’t know that you can do a boss/employee romance plot as easily today as you could in 2011.)

Liz, through tears, confesses that her father didn’t always treat her mom (or “us”-- I assume meaning Liz and any siblings she may have) well. She’d always rationalized it as the part of “sharing him with the world” while he was “fighting,” but “he was just here.” God, this is devastating, and this scene is spectacularly done.

Adrian tries to comfort Liz, but she realizes something: Adrian put in the glass walls. She wants to know why. Was he trying to force Carl to be more transparent about something? Liz remembers her dad complaining about the glass walls. Adrian says it was just a design choice. Liz doesn’t believe it, but she’s moved on to other things. She’s putting on her jacket and trying to decide her next move. She angrily opens up the curtains even though she’s about to leave her office (just to show that she values transparency) and marches down to the partner’s meeting.

Everyone quiets down when Liz walks in. She grabs a notepad and a chair and begins to take an active role in negotiating payouts. Julius mentions Wendy, and Liz didn’t know about Wendy yet. Her reaction? A long pause, and then: “My dad raped the stenographer?”

Have I mentioned yet that Audra’s great? She delivers the line with a fantastic blend of anger and resignation. And I love the line itself, particularly the use of the word “rape.” Aside from Cynthia’s daughter, Liz is the first person in the episode to call Carl’s actions what they are, and it’s meaningful to hear the word from her. Liz isn’t shying away from what her father did; she is trying to figure out how to name it and address it. Pretty remarkable.

Liz volunteers to make the deal with Cynthia. She immediately begins to ask Jay for help, but she thinks again and goes to Marissa instead (and says “rape” again) to find out if there are any others. Adrian and Diane should’ve had Marissa on this yesterday.

LUCCA!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I’m just happy to see Lucca Quinn, who is the best and does not get nearly enough screentime. Because Lucca is the best, she’s meeting with the partners. She thinks something must be wrong-- that she’s about to be fired (no!!! I don’t even like thinking about that!!). But nothing is wrong. “In fact, consider this a promotion,” Adrian says. He offers Lucca the position of head of divorce law. (What are the odds we get through this arc without a cameo from David Lee?)

People who know more about the law than I do, is this even remotely plausible? Shouldn’t this be Lucca’s specialty if we’re going to see her head it up? Have we ever seen her on a divorce case?

The guy they had hired to head up divorce law had “harassment issues at his last firm.” “And that’s a problem these days?” Lucca jokes, not knowing just how bad her timing is. No one else laughs. (I! Love! Scenes! That! Show! That! Some! Of! The! Characters! Are! Junior! Staff!)

Lucca does not seem to want this promotion, but she realizes she’s being told, not asked.

Meanwhile, Maia’s spending her work day staring at the company website. Adrian stops by to see her (guess Lucca didn’t talk to her) and console her about the website. Maia now chooses to explain her scratched cornea. She doesn’t explain it clearly, so Adrian continues with his speech. “This is not a reflection of how we feel about you. It’s a branding thing.”

I suppose the same could also be said of the fact that the main poster for this season of TGF features Diane, Adrian, and Lucca when the first two seasons had posters featuring Diane, Maia, and Lucca. Maia adds less value, to the show and to the firm!!!!!

(I don’t hate this Maia plot, I just think it’s silly and unnecessary, and Maia’s still done nothing to prove to me that she’s interested in her job and/or good at it.)

“You keep up the good work,” Adrian says. Forget good work. What WORK?

The partners fussing over the website has made it a Big Deal for Maia, and now she’s pissed! Luckily, Marissa’s there to teach her how to be a badass.

“I’m a third year associate, and they are treating me like I was hired yesterday,” Maia fumes. Well, are you doing the work of a third year associate, or are you doing the “work” of a new hire who hasn’t yet been staffed on projects and just stares at the company website all day? Hmmmmm?

Marissa blames this on “the curse of short people.” Is Maia short? She’s never seemed short. Rose Leslie is, according to Google, 5’6”, which is hardly short! Then Marissa starts rambling about “the volcano of Vulcan” and, whatever, Marissa, I think Maia’s problem is that she has scumbag parents, not that she’s short.

Marissa’s advice-- which is basically to be more confident-- isn’t bad advice. But that’s not why Maia’s not on the website. Maia could be Lucca levels of incredible and her name would still look toxic on the website.

Maia’s so awkward she makes me look confident.

Marissa commands a “tall lady” not to wash her hands after using the bathroom and what, that’s gross, why are you doing this Marissa?

Marissa has a gift for Maia: Sunglasses that are “cool.” Marissa then breaks the doctor-approved sunglasses. Seems… unwise.

New, cool Maia gets a theme song and a leather jacket. She makes quite an impression on the image consultant in the elevator, and he asks her out. She rejects him. Ha ha.

Liz and Jay head to Cynthia’s next. They remember meeting each other before. Liz mentions the NDA, and Cynthia responds, “Your father wasn’t a bad man.” “I don’t understand how you can feel that way after everything that he did,” Liz replies.

Liz seems like she’s close to getting a signature on the NDA when Naomi Nivola, the reporter from 2x05, appears at her door asking about sexual harassment. Cynthia’s daughter tipped her off. I’m very happy to see Naomi again, not because I think she’s a wonderful character but because I thought Adrian’s “starfucking” excuse was too weak of a conclusion to her plotline last season. I’m almost glad to know she still holds a grudge, because it doesn’t let Adrian off the hook for some shitty behavior. Adrian isn’t Carl Reddick levels of disgusting but he’s done some troublesome things (and the way he talks to the female characters is a little condescending, no??)

(I went to re-read my thoughts on 2x05 and Naomi as I was writing this, and apparently I said I thought an episode about NDAs as they relate to #MeToo would be interesting. Hah!)

It’s still raining.

“I’ll talk to Naomi, find out what she knows,” Adrian decides. “You?! No,” Liz replies. Adrian actually asks why not!!!

Liz goes to settle with the stenographer next, and, again, she insists on doing it herself.

Maia is holding an NDA and sitting out at one of the associate desks, surrounded by a bunch of black men (does the firm have female associates?). Maia’s holding a red folder, and while that should mean she’s working on a case, she probably just picked it up because it was BOLD LIKE HER. What are work files if not accessories to make you look badass?

Maia’s also got her feet up on the desk. YOU’RE AT WORK, GIRL.

Julius asks Maia to move her feet. “Yeah? What do you need?” she replies. Julius is too stunned to actually play rank. Maia takes this as a victory. She shouldn’t. She can do this once, maybe twice, before it stops being cute and confusing and starts looking like what it is: an entitled white girl acting out and being disrespectful. If she wants to create distance from her parents’ scandal-- the actual issue here-- then she needs to be mature and develop a plan to work around it. She could, for example, take on lots of charity work and write an op-ed about deciding to help turn her dad in, and what she’s learned about the world from having her world crash down. Acting out in designer boots, red lipstick, and sunglasses is going to make Maia look like the oblivious child of privilege she is.

Why does this show insist on saying that Maia’s biggest weakness is her lack of boldness? She’s just awkward. She’s plenty confident. She just expresses it poorly.

I know this is a comedic subplot but Maia does not really behave like a human being??? Who would have that interaction and then feel self-satisfied? This is her place of work!!! She looks ridiculous!! She just talked back to a partner!!

Wendy doesn’t want to sign the NDA, and she doesn’t want any money. She says she’ll never tell anyone, because “there are so many people who want to destroy men. Black men.” And she doesn’t want to be a part of it. Interesting perspective, not one I agree with but one I’m pleased the writers included because it adds some nuance to the episode’s exploration of #MeToo.

Naomi and Jay talk in a not-very-interesting scene that includes some weird and unnecessary close ups of Jay. Main takeaway: Naomi thinks it’s Adrian who assaulted Cynthia.

Don’t really get why it’s great that Naomi thinks it’s Adrian. I suppose she’s a good enough journalist she wouldn’t publish a story there was no evidence for, but Adrian being able to deny it without lying hardly seems like cause for celebration. And would Naomi really drop it if Adrian said he didn’t rape anyone?

Eric and Don bailed on the safari, so Kurt’s still around. He winces when Diane hugs him, and Diane doesn’t let it slip. Kurt, being Kurt, says nothing is wrong.

He goes to the bathroom, and Diane’s phone rings. It’s Tara saying she won’t come forward.

Diane joins Kurt in the bathroom (lots of scenes in bathrooms this ep) and notices he has a huge bruise on his shoulder because Eric or Don shot him. We don’t get to find out-- and neither does Diane-- because Kurt’s signed an NDA about the incident. HAHAHA!

Adrian has his interview with Naomi. He denies they’ve asked Cynthia to sign an NDA, and denies he harassed her. And that’s it, until Naomi reveals THE REAL STORY: Assholes to Avoid.

I wonder, IRL, how much this would hurt the firm. I also am still not sure why they took that damn case. 2x05 and whichever ep was Assholes (I mentioned I’m glad we’re not counting days anymore, right?) annoyed me more than basically any other s2 episode because they were tied up so neatly, so I’m happy to see both cases come back to complicate things.

Now shit gets weird. I assume this next scene is one of the “soliloquies” the Kings mentioned that the season would include, and I like the idea more than the execution. The characters taking turns verbalizing their inner thoughts in eloquent speeches to no one? Sure! I’m down! Diane suddenly beginning to talk to a Trump-shaped bruise THAT MOVES AND TALKS in the middle of an episode? I’ll just say I hope they’re not all like this.

“The footman to the king. I am married to the footman to the king,” Diane starts. Then TrumpBruise talks back (don’t love this impersonation). I think this would work just fine as a monologue, and I definitely don’t need the animation. I couldn’t see it the first time through and the episode was better for it.

Anyway, Diane’s upset that Kurt’s become a worthless servant to a family she loathes, and she connects this to her ongoing thoughts on the State of Masculinity.

“What has happened to men? Where did the real guys go? Why do we now have these snide little creatures with slicked-back hair and cologne? What happened to Paul Newman and Burt Lancaster? What happened to men who were slow to anger and responsible and who didn’t cry like whiny little bitches? When did Trump and Kavanaugh become our idea of an aggrieved man, quivering lips, blaming everyone but themselves? You’re not fit to kiss my husband’s feet. A truthful man, uncomplaining, never passing the buck, never punching unless he’s punched. When did he become the exception?” Okay. But toxic masculinity is not a new thing. This isn’t insightful enough for me to applaud it and it’s not offensive/wrong enough for me to actually want to dissect it. I like that the show’s taking risks and like the soliloquy idea but this is… meh.

Bruise starts talking about how happy he is. He’s taunting Diane (well, technically, Diane is criticizing herself) because she was happy earlier, and now she’s not and this asshole Bruise is sooooo happy.

So Diane’s solution is to leak Tara’s abortion. Interestingly, she imagines TrumpBruise calling her out on breaking Tara’s confidence. Implying that Bruise has a conscience (or enough savvy to push her buttons), even one fueled by Diane’s imagination, feels weird to me. Diane’s imagining Bruise has a conscience?!

FRANCESCA IS STILL AROUND!!! My wish to ditch Colin and keep his mom came true!

Francesa is singing “I Wanna Be Sedated” to her grandson. Of course she is.

I’m unclear on a few things with this scene: who is Francesca talking to? Does Francesca know them? This must be Lucca’s house (?) if Francesca is leaving and taking calls for Lucca, but why does Lucca have a land line, and why would a client be calling her on it?

Francesca has an Instagram. God, I would love it if that account existed.

Lucca’s baby is really cute. What’s the kid’s name? Is it Joseph?

Francesca tells Lucca she’s the perfect divorce lawyer. Anyone else feel like we missed a scene or three with this Lucca/divorce law plot? Why would Francesca say that? Does she know about the opportunity? Was Lucca working divorce cases and doing great? MORE LUCCA NOW.

Maia’s still wearing her sunglasses the next day (unclear if this is for medical reasons or because she doesn’t know when to just stop). She’s sitting in on a meeting of the partners about the new Assholes scandal.

Adrian says they need to get their story straight, that they didn’t know they were taking down the site. That’s blatantly false, and Maia speaks up to say so. Adrian says they didn’t. Um, they did. Julius asks Maia to step out, and Lucca, who has a seat at the table, defends Maia. Julius says “this should be a partner thing” and Maia gets up to leave. Lucca, who is also not a partner unless we did, indeed, miss multiple Lucca scenes, asks Maia for her opinion.

On her way out, Maia says RBL should “own it. Our client wanted us to take down a #MeToo site. We didn’t agree, but we took it down. Because we’re that good.” Meh. That’s really the only way out of this. But as a client, I would not be reassured by that, especially not if I had brought my business to a firm specifically because of its values.

Adrian takes Badass!Maia’s advice, word for word. And it works. This particular client also wants to know who Maia Rindell is. He typed in ReddickBoseman.net instead of .com (but WHY) and it landed on a “really really cool” page about Maia.

Liz and Adrian immediately go to find this cool site, and Adrian shows how hip he is by typing a url in the search bar. What pops up is a site with the RBL logo and several ~fashionable~ pictures of Maia and her Miraculous Sunglasses. It’s hilariously terrible. They’re not bad pictures, but it’s sooooooooooooooooo inappropriate and ridiculous. It’s also unnecessary, and I know I’m overthinking a sight gag (and it is an effective sight gag) but if Maia wanted to be on the website that badly, she could have, you know, SAID SO instead of making a fucking website.

Lol @ Maia staging a photoshoot at the office. Why wouldn’t she?

The website has the tagline “younger-tougher-smarter”. Well, one of those things is true, and you all know which one it is.

Cynthia’s back, in the office, to sign the NDA. She does.

Marissa’s prepared her research on Carl Reddick. She leaves it with Liz, in a green folder.

Diane goes to Naomi with Tara’s story. We don’t hear her tell it, so there’s a chance she thought better of it, but omg, how shitty, Diane!!!!!

Liz and Adrian share a drink. Adrian says he did suspect that Carl might have been having an affair, he just never thought it was assault.

“Your dad was really good to me, Liz. He’s the reason I have a career,” Adrian explains. “Me too,” Liz says, raising her glass. Damn. I don’t think those words were chosen unintentionally. Lots of layers to this scene.

Adrian decides to lighten the mood by mocking the image consultant. Liz, who’s wearing heels similar to the ones Maia was wearing earlier and has her feet up just like Maia did, comes up with an identity for the firm: “We’re a firm with no past. Not anymore. We’re starting over. That’s refreshing.”

Then they toast to Peter Florrick’s State’s Attorney campaign slogan/the writer’s perpetual favorite phrase: “New beginnings.” But it’s still storming, and the folder with all of Carl Reddick’s past misdeeds is sitting feet away. Dramatic!

As the credits roll, there’s an actual count of all the red folders in the episode. Heh.

I’m very on board with this season so far. Can’t wait to see what happens next!

Couldn’t all the episodes of this show (and TGW) be called The One About the Recent Troubles, though???

#the good fight #tgf thoughts #i feel so out of practice. what are words and how do i make them go together?!

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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Whats Nightwing and Deathstroke's dynamic? Why does it make you wince? Im not very familiar with it.

Nightwing and Slade actually have a really interesting and compelling dynamic in a lot of ways, that can be really good when written well and really terrible when not. My biggest issue is it is that its not sexual in the comics (Slade is a good thirty years older than him) or in other adaptations that have a version of it, like the Teen Titans cartoon. But fandom being fandom, Dick/Slade is a bigger ship than like, half his actual canon ships, so any new take on it always comes with a big sigh at all the new Dick/Slade shipping that’s gonna crop up or have a resurgence cuz of it. And I’m annoyed enough with YJ right now that I’m not giving them the benefit of the doubt that they’ll do anything new or interesting with it that’s worth having to wade through pages of new Dick/Slade noncon in the months afterwards. Its a ship that generates a lot of non-con fic in particular, or at least my old favorite, ‘dubcon’, with the dubious part of the consent referring to the fact that it usually involves mind control or brainwashing, both tropes that show up a lot in their interactions anyway. (Not that there’s anything dubious about this NOT allowing for consensual anything, just that people love to call it dubcon because….fuck if I know).

But anyway….in the comics, Deathstroke is a mercenary who’s one of the Titans’ earliest and most iconic enemies. Though at various times and depending on who’s writing him, he’s sometimes an antihero and even a semi-trusted ally of the Titans (usually with Dick specifically), other times a villain but with his own personal code of honor that means he won’t help the Titans or other heroes but he’ll refuse to take jobs that would pit him against them, and other times he’s full on remorseless and sadistic villain who hates them all and wants them all dead.

He also had three kids, his son Grant (the first Ravager), his younger son Joseph (Jericho) and his youngest, their half-sister Rose (the second Ravager). Basically, the first time he interacted with the Titans was when the supervillain group HIVE put out a contract to have the Titans all killed. Slade turned them down cuz of his personal honor code and how young the Titans were, but his son Grant accepted the contract in exchange for HIVE giving him superpowers to help him fulfill it. The process didn’t work right though, and when fighting the Titans, Grant’s powers overloaded and killed him.

Slade blamed the Titans for this, and vowed to finish the contract and kill them as some twisted way of honoring Grant. He doesn’t do Logic so good, well no, its more like he doesn’t really do parenting so good, as in he tends to have fuck all to do with his kids 364 days of the year, but then something bad happens to one of them and suddenly he thinks he’s Dad of the Year and going 0 to Homicidal in six seconds flat is the way to make up for all the times he’s let them down or screwed them over, instead of just…not Doing That.

So Slade recruited a young meta named Tara Markov (yup, that one) and trained her as his apprentice specifically to help him get revenge on the Titans. At his prompting, she joined the Titans as a spy for him, feeding him intel and plotting against them in one of the best known comicbook storylines of all time, The Judas Contract. It was up there with some of the X-Men’s best known stories like the Dark Phoenix Saga and Days of Future Past. (In the 80s actually, the Titans comic book was almost as popular as Uncanny X-Men at the time. Like way more than the Justice League. They were DC’s big hitters, popularity wise - specifically the lineup that for the most part was centered around Dick, Donna, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg and Raven, with other members like the original Titans and later ones like Pantha and Wildebeest coming and going at various points in the 80s too).

Ultimately, Tara made her move and betrayed the Titans, enabling Slade to kidnap each of them one by one and turn them over to the HIVE….all except for Dick. In the meanwhile, he was approached by Slade’s ex-wife Adeline Kane - who has an equally all over the place dynamic with Slade, like sometimes she’s his worst enemy and other times she’s manipulating events behind the scenes to help him without him knowing, because she still loves him…it basically just depends on who’s writing her, same as with Slade. Also, Kane is Adeline’s maiden name, she’s distantly related to Kate Kane aka Batwoman in some extremely complicated manner I can never remember, but that’s mostly just trivia. I can’t remember a time its ever been relevant to a story, and it has nothing to do with Slade’s interactions with Dick.

ANYWAY. Point being, so Adeline, who blames and hates Slade at this time for their son Grant’s death, along with their other son Joey, seek out Dick and offer their help rescuing the Titans and defeating Slade. Joey is a metahuman as a result of Slade’s altered DNA (he has regenerative powers and is actually immortal, due to experiments the army did on him while he was a soldier). So Joey was born with powers although they didn’t activate until he was a young adult. His codename was Jericho and his power lets him possess peoples’ bodies. He’s also mute, and I’m half expecting him to show up in YJ fairly soon. If not this season then hinted at by the end of it. Also wouldn’t surprise me if they had plans to have him be gay in the YJ universe. He’s a character who was coded as gay practically from his debut. Joey/Dick is actually probably Dick’s oldest and most enduring slash ship, for the record.

So Joey works with Dick to rescue the Titans and defeat Slade, who’s captured and goes on trial for kidnapping the Titans. Joey ends up joining the Titans in the aftermath, and Adeline’s yay good, this was my Sekrit Plan all along, I did all this solely in the hopes that you would end up a superhero and have positive influences and not end up a murdering douchebag of flexible morality like your dad cuz fuck that guy, am I right Titans?

Did Adeline really just do all of that because she wanted her son to have more friends? Like…idk honestly it could go either way. Like….it IS the kind of thing she would do, tbh, so its as likely she was telling the truth as it is she just wanted to screw Slade one last time to avenge Grant and then was like hey if I take credit for my kid ending up a Titan now, I could probably play the “you owe me one” card later if I ever need to. Addy does like handing out “you owe me one” cards, just to be safe. Never know when you might need one.

The thing all this has to do with Dick is like, so it basically ended up being Dick versus Slade in the big finale, while Joey was rescuing the others and helping them face off against Tara. And for whatever reason - with multiple takes on this offered by multiple writers in the decades since - something about Dick just stuck with Slade and he’s had a kinda fascination with him ever since. Like he’s always talking about how much more he could teach Dick than what he already learned from Bruce, trying to convince him he’s got a killer instinct that Bruce just suppressed and its holding him back, blah blah, like saying he’s good, but Slade could make him great, so he surpasses both Bruce and Slade. TBH, he spends WAY more time obsessing about Dick and getting Dick to join him than he bothers paying attention to his own kids.

It really isn’t inherently sexual though, its a weird kinda pseudo father/son, pseudo mentor/mentee type thing. And its not entirely one-sided, because Dick at various times IS…tempted? Kinda? Like whenever Dick’s having some kind of crisis of conscience, or he’s pissed at Bruce or is questioning the effectiveness of superheroes or why they do the things they do or what does it all matter blah blah blah like omg I love you Dick, I really do, but sometimes you are such a drama queen, my god, blast some My Chemical Romance, experiment with drugs and chill out already, its not that deep. (LOL I kid. Well mostly). But point being, every once in awhile something happens that puts Dick in a funk and makes him second guess himself, and he spends like….a month being convinced he should reinvent himself as the anti-Bruce, that’s the solution, and this usually sends him in search of Slade except he’s always like ‘OH FANCY MEETING YOU HERE, THIS IS TOTALLY RANDOM AND NOT ON PURPOSE’.

And Slade likes to take any opportunity to try and convince him like BE A BAD GUY DICK, KILL PEOPLE FOR MONEY, ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT. Except inevitably Slade does something that pisses Dick off and Dick snaps out of it and is like NO, IM A HERO AND THIS IS BAD, I REMEMBER NOW AND I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD I HATE YOU! And then they fight again, but with swords, not words, and then they’re like crap, we’re too well matched, this is going nowhere, you’re a worthy opponent, the only one I can truly respect, blah blah and then they call a breather and Slade’s like hey kid, wanna grab a beer and Dick’s like yeah but only if you promise not to kill anyone. And Slade’s like ugh fine.

And then Slade’s all, look kid, its been fun but its time you went home to your real family and your real life, this isn’t you, you’re a hero, I can’t try and turn you into something you’re not, its Wrong. And Dick’s like….umm yeah, I know, I literally JUST said that, how hard did I hit you? And Slade’s like NO SHHH, DONT TRY AND ARGUE, GO, YOU GO NOW, GO ON, LIVE YOUR LIFE, YOU DONT BELONG HERE IN THE DARK WITH ME, YOU’RE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES, GO BACK TO YOUR OWN KIND.

And Dick’s like no seriously dude, I already called my dad to come pick me up, what are you even on right now, are we having the same conversation?

Slade, sobbing paternally: I HAVE TO LET YOU GO, ALL I EVER DO IS HURT MY KIDS, I’M A TERRIBLE FATHER, ITS NO WONDER JOEY HATES ME.

And then Dick awkwardly slips out while Slade’s mid monologue, with his head thrown back yelling up at the sky and shaking his fists like WHY GOD WHY IS THIS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN WHY - because the thing about Slade is he’s actually even MORE of a drama queen than Dick, he just hides it better. Most of the time. But seriously tho.

Anyway yeah, this is like…a pattern with them basically. And Slade’s like, you’ve inspired me, I see in you the man I could’ve become, maybe even that I can still be, and he like doubles down on his personal honor code and becomes a Mercenary With A Heart for a couple years and even helps out the Titans every now and then (basically just whenever Dick’s in trouble and he goes on a killing spree, like NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO MURDER MY KIDS BUT ME - also by this point in time, Joey had died because Slade literally killed him, I forget why, it was a dumb story, but its okay Joey came back, its not like his name is Uncle Ben. But yeah, killing his kids is kinda a thing with Slade too, and he’s very proprietary about it).

And then he falls off the wagon and is like fuck, I forgot how much I like murder, ugh, you should have never tried to make me change, THIS IS WHO I AM, and Dick’s just like….I literally do not know where you’re getting these conversations from, like am I there when you think we’re having them, am I just blacking out…do I need to see a doctor??? And Slade’s like YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU EVER MET ME, GRAYSON, FROM NOW ON I AM THE TITANS’ MORTAL ENEMY and runs off all dramatically while Dick’s like…..wut, and all the other Titans are like srsly, dude, what is WITH you too, and Dick’s all I DON’T EVEN KNOW, HE’S JUST LIKE THAT.

In all seriousness though, ultimately my take on their dynamic is that for Slade, Dick’s a combination of seeing himself and Grant in Bruce and Dick’s dynamic, and its like….all about his regret and missed opportunities. Like, he tends to be super judgey of Bruce and critical of how he trains (and raises Dick) and passive aggressively like *I* would never do that and Dick just kinda lifts an eyebrow and is all, you’ve literally killed two of your three kids.

But like, Slade kinda views himself as the anti-Batman and thus Dick is inadvertently cast as Grant, but its like Slade can never decide if he thinks Bruce is actually holding Dick back from his full potential and he wants to push Dick the way he thinks Bruce refuses to, or if like, he blames Bruce for getting Dick involved in this life, the same life that got Grant killed, and wants to protect Dick from Bruce and from the same thing happening to him. So its this weird mix of Slade manipulating Dick sometimes and pushing him way further than even Bruce ever does and saying its for his own good, but also randomly mixed in there are these bouts of extreme protectiveness, and there’s like zero rhyme or reason to which he is on any given day and there’s never any way to predict where Slade will land and so it always fucks with Dick’s head in a big way, he’s like…I’m getting whiplash.

And then on Dick’s end, like, the thing about Dick like I’ve mentioned before is he’s a huge people pleaser? Like he’s a very empathetic caretaker type personality who sinks a huge amount of his identity into being everything for everyone, to the extent that he tends to lose sight of himself in the process, sometimes. And he’s also a perfectionist who was raised with the most demanding father of all demanding fathers ever, and has a lot of abandonment issues and insecurities that Bruce’s mutant power is to trip over and set off in the worst possible ways.

And so I think the reason Dick keeps seeking Slade out every now and then is not because he ACTUALLY wants to ever take Slade up on his offer and genuinely become his apprentice or partner and like, turn his back on how he was raised. I think the point of it for Dick is the fact that each and every time he ends up affirming for himself no, wait, this ISN’T actually what I want, I just needed to be reminded of that, to remember that. That he always pulls himself back before going too far. And at the same time, I do think on some level he likes that Slade is this kinda constant in his life, that at the end of the day Slade is like…so fixated on his potential and his achievements and his worth as a fighter and a hero, because like….Dick Grayson is a person who craves validation but will never ask for it ever.

And he’s one of those people who everyone is just so USED to liking without even thinking about it that it never occurs to them when talking amongst themselves about how great he is, that they forget to say this to his actual face? And so he never hears it? And never asks for it, because gasp, then people might think he’s needy, and that would be bad, so he mostly just goes and sulks in his apartment about how nobody likes him and he’s terribad. Except for Slade. Slade always compliments him on what a good fighter and what a good planner and what a good leader he is, so hmm wonder what he’s doing. He hasn’t committed any crimes in six months and I can’t find any reason to track him down and bring him in? Ugh, that asshole. Okay, ummm, I guess I could tell him I’m thinking of turning evil again, I haven’t done that in a couple years, he’d probably buy it.

And then later Bruce is pacing around the Batcave wrathfully shaking his fist, like “Damn that man and his sick hold over my son, if only I knew how he keeps getting his hooks into you!”

And Dick basically shrugs and plays games on his phone. “He mostly just tells me I’m special, and that’s nice to hear.”

Bruce, still pacing and ranting and fist shaking: “What kind of evil genius is he, how master a manipulator he must be to be able to get inside your head and upend your normal views of right and wrong, to make you entertain these ideas of working with him, learning from him…”

Dick: No its seriously just the saying nice things about me bit. I like that.

Bruce: If only I had a code word or phrase I could use to snap you out of whatever brainwashing he seems to be able to affect you with any time you come near him, perhaps some kind of alien tech….

Dick: You could try “I’m proud of you, son.” I mean if you’re taking suggestions.

Bruce: There’s also the possibility of a magical component to consider, blast, I hate working with magic so of course he WOULD do something like that, ugh I suppose I could ask Zatanna or Jason Blood for help there…

Dick: Cool cool, well this has been a fun and productive chat as always, so you keep doing…all that…and meanwhile I’m gonna go ponder my fixation on father figures who are 100% more committed to obsessing over their failures as a parent than like…actual parenting of their actual kids.

Bruce, ten minutes later: Dick? Where are you? DID SLADE GET TO YOU AGAIN? RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE? CURSE THAT MAN AND HIS UNNATURAL SKILLS, HOW DOES HE DO IT??!?

Anyway, that’s Slade and Dick. There’s also the whole Renegade thing, when Dick asked for Slade’s help in infiltrating the Society of Super Villains in his fake villain identity as Renegade, with you know, lots of Slade trying to corrupt him and also trying to murder any supervillains who looked as his not!son the wrong way.

And then there was the time Slade brought his daughter Rose to Dick to train and said he couldn’t teach her himself because his track record with training his kids and them not ending up dead is like, not good, and he’s superstitious or something? Idk, I forget his logic, it was probably bad though.

And Slade was like, I only trust you to be a competent teacher for my daughter, I want you to teach her everything you know! Except for like, being a hero. None of that nonsense. I FORBID you from trying to make my daughter into a hero or the deal is off. (The deal being that if Dick did this, Slade would not do crime in Dick’s city for a year).

And Dick was like, you got a deal. I will train Rose but there will be NO trying to make her a hero, I swear. /he said while crossing his fingers behind his back because duh.

And Slade was like okay, fine, you got a deal, I will absolutely still do crime and be villainous but only in every place except for Bludhaven specifically. /he said while crossing his fingers behind his back because duh.

And then Dick tried to make Rose a hero and then Slade blew up Bludhaven and that was definitely a thing, so…yeah.

In summation, Slade and Dick are weird but also very interesting but also if we get another rehash of the Renegade/apprentice arc aka the Teen Titans cartoon adaptation of that story aka the single most popular Dick Grayson fic trope of all time, like….I swear I will probably get a brain bleed.

#Anonymous

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mimiplaysgames · 6 years

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Strength to Protect the Things That Matter (Ch. 14)

Fanfiction: Kingdom Hearts III Rating: T Pairing: Terra/Aqua (eventually) Other characters: Sora, Riku, Lea, Eraqus, Xehanort, Yen Sid Word Count: 2,997 In-progress

Summary: Terra has prayed for years for relief from having no one to talk to in the dark, except with the monster of a man who stole his life. He gets his chance - less than a week - to set things right before he loses everything again.

AO3 FF.net

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long! I had to fly to my hometown to deal with family stuff, and this seriously delayed all of my writing plans. Thank you SO MUCH for your patience as I trudged through this chapter. I did design the flashback scene of this chapter on the flight back, so it wouldn’t have existed otherwise. A small silver lining, I guess? Thank you guys again for your patience!! I promise that the next chapter won’t take so long to come up. This one is quite angsty, but it’s necessary to move everything forward. It’s shorter than what I have been writing lately, but the next one is probably going to end up being gargantuan.

Lies

Riding the glider comes more naturally than Terra expected. Out in the lanes between, he directs the glider, with the gummi ship following close behind him. His armor fits the same as before, a reminder that time, for him, never really passed.

Unlike the gummi ship, which needs a directory and a highway to travel, the glider is guided by the heart. This is what the Master used to say, since it is formed by the Keyblade, a literal extension of the wielder’s deepest thoughts and spirit of character. All Terra needs to do is think about Yen Sid’s tower, focus on it, and eventually the glider will take him there. If he wants to wander around, he can choose to do so, and the heart will direct him to where he needs to go.

For now, Terra chooses to ride the glider on his own, needing some time and space to think to himself after what had happened.

Sora got back to his normal mood in no time, and Donald was already prepared with a long lecture. Goofy was as warm and comforting as ever. Riku had been a bit distant, lost in his own thoughts. Your armor said it recognized me, which really confused me at first, he said at the time. Anyway, I want a concrete plan of action to see what else we can do to find your friends. I’m sure with you here, we can finally get closer to them.

Terra jets through the open space around him, at war with conflicting feelings that are threatening to overwhelm him. On one hand, he wants to be close to Sora and Riku. Something about them makes him feel comforted and like he belongs. Which makes the guilt that he feels because of the fight with his armor all the harder to deal with. It’s been a long time since I have felt peace, but around them, it comes easier. I need to make it up to them.

On the other, he needs to run away. To just leave, because it seems safer for him that way, even though he doesn’t know where to. Something tells him that wherever he is aching to go to isn’t good for him; it would only good for Xehanort. Is he getting stronger? Does that mean I’m running out of time?

And then there are the random bursts of intense rage that make him want to destroy the handlebars of the glider he’s riding on - surely the emotions that he picked up when connecting with his armor again. It’s difficult to adjust to, and it’s a sore pain, but he’s at least grateful that he’s whole again.

Yen Sid’s tower slowly appears in the distance the closer he gets, a jutting tower cutting up against a sky half lit by a sunset – the rest a warp of night into outer space. Terra lands, and both the glider and the armor dissipate. Sora and the rest jog out of the gummi ship.

“We need to get Yen Sid to give us one of those,” Sora says, referring to the glider, and with that scheming smile he normally wears as usual.

“You ready?” Riku asks Terra. “We’ll show you to your room, and then we can meet with him later.”

The inside of the tower is the same as it used to be. A single spiral staircase at the entrance that leads above, as though the top of the tower is much larger than the bottom floor. The décor is quirky yet foreboding, as if he stepped into a space that is dedicated to those interested in the occult but has a history of funny magical mishaps.

“Well, you guys took your sweet time to get here.” The voice comes from above, slick and snake-like, with a genuine yet monitored sense of enthusiasm. It can only come from one person.

“I wondered if I would find you here,” Terra says as he looks up to see Lea and a girl with burgundy hair, who emitted a bright light - a tremendous one. It’s been a long time since Terra has felt something like this.

They stand at the top of the spiral staircase, looking down on them. Having yet another good friend around deepens the comfort that Terra needs to feel relaxed in this place.

Lea waves his arm around as if to showcase the grandeur of the castle. “Welcome to our humble abode.”

Riku leaves Terra to tend to himself in his room. Bigger than the bunker he slept in at Tifa’s, the room is lined with gray bricks. A very large mirror sits under the window on the opposite side, and a small bed with a nightstand lay in the middle. Terra can see that he looks like a complete mess, dirt covering his face and his hair disheveled. There is a door which leads to a small bathroom, and Terra prepares a hot shower for himself, needing the heat to soothe his sore muscles. However, Terra is not yet aware of all the nicks and scratches he collected during the fight, and the water stings immensely.

The heat of the shower leaves the room steamy and the small mirror above the sink foggy. Terra wraps a towel around himself, and notices the sound of dripping water. Hypnotic and completely annoying. He rushes back to the shower to tighten the knob as much as he can, unable to bear the sound. It’s a wonder why it bothers him, it never used to be a problem before.

He stands in front of the mirror above the sink, and wipes the fog away, to see his darkened face, white hair, and intensely yellow eyes.

He jumps back and yells, terrified of what he had witnessed. He gazes back to the mirror to see his own face, normal as it should be. A headache starts to beat a rhythm into his forehead.

Remember: I can’t allow myself to freak out. It’s going to ruin me and take away any chances I have at finding them. I need to give myself as much time as possible.

After getting dressed, he takes a small sip of Tifa’s potion, which he left on the bedside table, along with Aqua’s docile Keyblade. He then heads out to explore the tower.

He reaches a room with shelves of books, like a small library. There is a rather large desk that spans the entire room, and a piano in the corner. He approaches the piano, where a vague sense of familiarity washes over him. He hears faint footsteps behind him, as if they are lost in time. He turns to see a young man, his hair donned in a ponytail, wearing a white robe. This man is there, and yet not really there, and Terra’s heart sinks to depths of his stomach as he tries to stop himself from despairing. The sound of a piano playing starts to get loud in his mind.

Master?

He turned away from Eraqus and focused on the piano. Two hands, dark-skinned, stroked the keys. A focus on the deeper base notes as he played gentle chords. The mid-range notes served as flairs of a melody. The song was beautiful and reflective, as if the keys themselves imagined a solemn fantasy story of a legend that depicted the enchanted death of a genius after he achieved peace, sinking deep into a lake thickened with snow.

“Not a bad song, Xehanort.” He heard Eraqus sit on a chair close by, but he refused to distract himself from the keys until the melody was fully played once through.

Only when he was finished that Xehanort finally turned to face Eraqus, who had a large book open in front of him.

“How did you do?” Xehanort asked.

“I passed. Master Yen Sid is a bit cooky, but I find him a much more difficult grader than our Master.” Eraqus looked no older than seventeen.

“Surely, then, it’s a testament to your intellect if you passed.” Practice. It was practice that made this statement seep through his lips so easily, because there was no emotion aside from a lingering, genuine respect for his younger comrade there.

Eraqus snorted. “That must mean yours is superior above all else since you passed this exam apparently with a perfect score. Yen Sid was certain to remind me of that before I took it.”

No emotional response. It was as if Xehanort knew he was superior, and no amount of compliments would be sufficient enough to make him feel grateful for it. There was a calculated attempt to construct a reply, as if he was trying to think of the most acceptable thing to say.

Xehanort took a seat in front of Eraqus and said, “Where did you think you went wrong?” He sounded sweet and concerned in a way, but curiosity was the bigger motivator here.

“It seems Yen Sid and our Master are very much in agreement over the existence of darkness, but it’s difficult for me to grasp. I don’t comprehend how one can be a great Keyblade Master if he can’t control his own darkness. How is a peacekeeper supposed to keep balance if he follows all the fluctuating whims of his desires? The heart is our guide, but it can be fickle.”

“I couldn’t agree more over the fickleness.”

“It’s just hard to determine what our intuition is and what our desires are telling us. There is so much capability for light in our hearts, but they can lead us astray if we don’t recognize it. This is where I have to disagree with our Master.”

“May I contribute a different perspective?”

“Go ahead. I always enjoy them.” Eraqus had excitement in his eyes, eager to hear what his friend had to say.

“How do you expect to fully understand the difference between our intuition, or what our hearts truly want us aligned to be, and desire if you don’t take the time to understand our darkness?”

“What if you were led astray in the process?”

“If our hearts are made to guide us on our destined path, what’s the harm in understanding them? Surely, they can’t fail us.”

“Hm.” By this point, Eraqus had completely forgotten he had an open book. “I’ll have to think of a rebuttal for that one. I always appreciate your input. You keep me on my toes, Xehanort, that’s for certain.”

Xehanort looked down on his hands.

“These moments I share with you give me hope that I can one day be Master, just as I am sure you will be. I wouldn’t be where I am now without you, my friend,” Eraqus continued.

And here was yet another compliment, one that was truly genuine. What was the most sincere thing Xehanort could say in return?

“An achievement we both strive for, of which you are certainly capable of accomplishing. You never cease to amuse me, friend,” Xehanort said.

Terra is breathing heavily, a complete swath of rage threatening to overflow him. “Amusement? That’s all he was to you?” he asks out loud.

The headache gets worse. Rage is the last thing that Terra needs right now, but memories of his Master’s death at the hands of Xehanort hijack his mind. Damn you, Xehanort. Having a home, having a friend who loved you and looked up to you, meant nothing.

Terra attempts to breathe heavily to calm himself. I wonder if he’s doing this to me on purpose so I would lose control.

Just focus on the breath. It will go away.

When Terra finishes his breathing exercises, he feels slightly better. The headache, though, keeps pounding. He wipes the sweat from his face, now noticing the heat that spreads through his body.

Riku walks in, but Terra cannot tell if he notices his mental state. “This was where you were. C’mon. Yen Sid is ready.”

Terra stands in front of Yen Sid’s desk, the wizard giving off a severe, stern vibe. But Terra knows from before that Yen Sid is gentler than he looks. Sora and Riku casually stand beside him. Lea leans against the wall with his arms crossed, and the girl, Kairi, keeps herself off to the side. She is very inclusive and welcoming to Terra, and he has no doubt in his mind after having a small chat with her that she is a Princess of Heart - conscientious, curious, and kind, with a light strong enough that it pierces his heart, making him feel like he has done no wrong. All the wielders here, eager to get information with their new comrade.

Terra bends over in respect. “It’s an honor to see you again, sir.”

“That’s so formal,” Sora chuckles.

“Sora,” Riku whispers in an almost-scolding tone.

“And you are welcome here, my boy. I have to say, this meeting is like having an audience with a ghost. I’m sure you are fully aware of the predicament we are all in. How we are gathering Seven Guardians of Light against the oncoming offense that Master Xehanort has prepared.”

The headache pounds louder at the sound of his name. “Yes, sir. I was fully briefed.”

Yen Sid clasps his hands together and hums loudly, giving the impression that he is trying to determine how to best approach a sensitive subject to Terra.

“Tell me, Terra, what is it that you achieve to accomplish, now that you are back with us?”

Terra swallows the lump in his throat. What is the correct answer to this? That I should follow my duty as a Keyblade wielder and be a Guardian? That I should do whatever it takes to protect the light? What about my heart? Is what my heart wants the right answer?

“I want to find Aqua and Ven, sir.”

“I see.” Yen Sid takes a long pause, long enough to make Terra wonder what is going on.

“I need to ask everyone in this room. Who is it that you see standing before me right now?” Yen Sid finally asks.

The room is quiet, uncertain why such a question is even pondered.

“M-master? It’s Terra.” Riku is the first to speak.

“Yes. But that is not what I see,” Yen Sid replies with a slow shake to his head. “What I see standing before me is a ghost from long ago. A young former pupil of a friend, who had strong ambitions which inevitably led us to the catastrophe that we are facing right now. I see a young Xehanort standing before me.”

Terra takes every ounce of energy in order to stop himself from shaking, but the build up of bile in his throat is horrendously difficult to ignore.

Yen Sid continues, “I have always wondered what had happened to you, young Terra, but a part of me never expected this.”

Sora interjects. “That sounds crazy. I just see Terra. What are you trying to say?”

Yen Sid ignores what Sora has to say. “Tell me, my boy. The entire time Xehanort served as apprentice to Ansem the Wise, that was you, wasn’t it?”

Terra’s voice shakes incredibly, his efforts to even it failing. “M-my body, sir. I had no idea what was going on.”

Sora and Riku stare at Terra, their eyes a heavy burden. But Terra refuses to acknowledge them. He can’t.

“To think we have been fighting a part of you all this time. I’m so sorry I have not realized it before,” Yen Sid says, another slow shake to accompany his words.

Terra nods meekly.

“Tell me, Terra, about your Master, Eraqus.”

Terra grimaces, unable to control his composure anymore. The headache is getting to the point that it is becoming unbearable. “Sir, it was-”

“I do remember what the stars have told me all those years ago. Were you an accomplice to his murder?”

Terra can hear Lea groan in protest to the question.

Tears swell in his eyes. Weak. Traitor. “Sir, actually-”

Yen Sid brings his hand up to silence Terra. “Calm yourself, my boy. No matter your answer, which I can clearly see causes you severe grief, the only thing I have to say is that you cannot be a Guardian. Not in your condition. Not when you endanger us all here.”

The tears start to fall, and Terra bends over so that no one would see them.

“Thank you for your time, sir,” he forces himself to say. Then he turns quickly and storms from the room so that no one can see his face or stop him, rushing down the stairs.

“Terra!” he can hear Lea call out above him, but he ignores this.

He storms into his room and shuts the door. Failure. Traitor. Weak. Unworthy. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

He holds his head as he can barely manage the pain, and he yells out. It deteriorates into sobbing, heat spreading over his body.

He takes several short, but intense breaths, and gazes at his reflection on the large mirror. He sees himself, sweaty. And behind him, a figure forming. Xehanort as Terra.

Before he can scream, Xehanort grabs him from behind with such a blunt force that it almost takes his breath away. Covering Terra’s face and pulling at it. Oppressive heat surrounding him. They struggle, and when Terra pulls out of Xehanort’s grasp, he stumbles onto the floor, and scrambles to the bedside.

He opens the jar of Tifa’s potion, and swallows the largest gulp he can muster. Xehanort just stands there, looking at him.

“A simpleton at the whim of his emotions. Uncontrollable rage which makes you a governable puppet. A pathetic crush on a girl which makes you weak. This is why my mind will always be stronger than yours. Because you care to the point that it is of detriment to you,” Xehanort has a smirk on his face, his deep voice bouncing around within Terra’s mind. “I only have to wait until you finally break from it all.”

Terra feels dizzy, struggling to stand straight. A weakness in his knees bucks him, like he’s being drugged. Did I swallow too much of that potion?

Sleep. He tries to stay awake. Sleep.

He falls backwards onto the bed, the potion sending him off to slumber, a reprieve from the pain whirring in his head.

#terraqua #terra #kingdom hearts fanfiction #kh fanfic #terra fanfic #sora #riku #lea #yen sid #xehanort #eraqus #so angsty #but it's necessary angst #very necessary #it will be lighter next chapter i swear #my fic

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renlyisright · 3 years

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Season 8 Predictions Reviewed and A Retrospective

It’s over. The last season of the throne-game-series has ended. The surviving characters continue their lives to new adventures. I have some final thoughts before I drop the curtains myself. First, reviewing my predictions from before the season:

No, the White Walkers won’t kill everyone. A bold prediction but I stand by it. The Night King dies and with it the majority if not the whole army, and that’s it. The insta-win button gets pressed.

Correct (easy) prediction is correct.

The defense of the North will be the doom of many many characters. I’ll say that the Stark family is quite safe excluding Bran, who may die because he’s too big a weapon. Edd survives because that’s what he does. If Beric is still alive he gets a final death. Jaime does something stupid and glorious and dies, which doesn’t do any good to Cersei’s thinking. The rest (all the various side characters in Jon’s and Daenerys’ groups) I can see either way, depending on the circumstances. Some shock deaths, some last stands, some sacrifices, the usual.

Shock death: Edd, check. Last stands: several, check. Sacrifices: several, yep. But Bran survived, Edd didn’t, Beric didn’t and Jaime did, so ¼ of those was correct (and Beric was the easiest one).

Sam, Gilly and little Sam all live happily ever after. Lalala, I can’t hear you.

THEY DO! This was the best part.

Qyburn goes all Frankenstein with the body of the wight and ends up doing something stupid right in the capital. He won’t survive the season, there’s a Hand pin on his chest.

Qyburn did die, but he didn’t do any experiments with the body of the wight. That would have been a fun if time-consuming way to tie up the two plotlines of the Dead and Cersei. After saving the world, the heroes come to King’s Landing, where Qyburn is just testing out stabbing someone with a knife made from the weird substance found in the wight’s body...

So is on Tyrion’s chest. Hmm. But I don’t see him dying. As I said, I’m optimistic. The world will need clever emphatic people after all this. Bronn retires with a box of treasure.

Tyrion didn’t die, and he still has the pin on his chest. Bronn’s box of treasure is Highgarden and a position as the Master of Coin.

Cersei is far too dramatic to leave the throne alive. Her baby will get born before that happens, and Daenerys has to decide what to do with her. I’m thinking that the baby is a girl. Send her away? But what if she grows up to gather an army, just like her? Can she take that risk? And if she can’t, how is she different?

Nope, Daenerys attacked before the birth happened, and what would another dead baby have mattered in that attack?

Daario Naharis shows up leading the Golden Company. Elephants on an open field, thank you. Team Jon and Team Daario will have a bitter fight, which ends with Daario’s death.

Daario didn’t show up, not even to fight on Daenerys’ side. But his Second Sons will have work to do, on one side or another, once the masters hear that the dragons are gone. And I don’t feel bad about missing the elephants. Daenerys would have just burned them.

Speaking of Jon, since him and Daenerys ruling together would be too simple, I’ll throw a curve ball and say that Jon will sit on the throne, as going from a bastard to the king of seven kingdoms would be a nice escalation… but Daenerys has worked so hard for it, Jon has never wanted it, she deserves it more… hmm… maybe have a vote? Jon winning the game of thrones without ever wanting to would be funny, I’m not going to lie.

You sweet summer child. Oh boy oh dear. Still, there was a vote, and someone won the game of thrones without ever wanting it.

Theon will rescue Yara in a final triumph after a large PTSD attack. Euron dies, Yara rules the Iron Islands. This happens early in the season as Euron is such a nice mid boss before Cersei and the Night King.

Euron lived for surprisingly long, and neither Yara nor Theon ever confronted him again. Yara got the Islands back off-screen.

The Hound and the Mountain almost have the duel the Hound promised, but something zags instead of zigging. The Mountain dies anyway, but the Hound doesn’t.

Here I was trying to be clever, and see where it got me?

Was that everybody? Melisandre predicted that both her and Varys will die on Westeros, but didn’t specify the date. I don’t think Varys gets to see the world he has spent his life trying to create, and Melisandre goes down while keeping the Dead at bay with the Lord of Light’s powers, because she has fulfilled her purpose or something like that. I would like for the Lord to stop treating people as his pieces on a game board.

Yeah, Lord of Light, stop that.

So, picking five deaths now is like shooting fish in a barrel (not that I have ever tried it), but that’s the tradition here. More main characters give more points. Let’s see, Cersei, Jaime, Qyburn, Euron, The Night King. Plus as a bonus Beric, The Mountain, Daario, Varys and Melisandre. Very conservative choices, says I. Random generator picks the following out of 31 names (for the record, two seasons ago it was 50, and now I tried to list absolutely everyone still alive): Daario, Cersei, Jaime, Qyburn, Tormund. Once again the random generator copies my answers. Least likely to die, it says, are Robin Arryn, Gilly and Lord Royce.

As Daario didn’t show up, he also couldn’t die. Computer also guessed Tormund’s fate wrong. Otherwise we were both correct, but they were easy choices. See how I didn’t pick anyone from the Stark family? I would have been wrong but that would have been bold.

And the final big thing: What’s the ending? How does this end? Things may go super bad in between, many will die horribly or get tortured, but in the end Westeros will survive. My ending would be that the Dead are defeated, but the Winter is still on, and the food shortage will be a very big problem. One character will say to another “We will survive this if we only work together”, and fade to black. The end. Then the audience can review the rest of the show and come to their own conclusion of whether these people are doomed and will all die, or if they have learnt something in these eight seasons.

That last Small Council scene was the closest to this, but it wasn’t underlined. Tyrion pointed out how they have poor to feed, but the talk quickly turned into the usual small council squabbling. So… have they learnt something? The last scenes with the Night’s Watch and the wildlings working together did end with a positive note, but I’m not so sure about the South…

So it’s over now. Laughs were made, tears were shed and faces were palmed. And finally, I can’t no longer be spoiled. I have lived in my own bubble where I watch an episode (a year or more later than others), write my own commentaries, make my own theories of all the mysteries, come up with my own inside jokes and then move on to the next episode. If someone said something about the show I quickly nope’d out. It’s been fun.

So, now that I am done, will I travel to the wonderland of the Internet and read stuff about the show? Maybe some analyses, to see if I thought the same as others? Maybe there’s some funny memes? Do I feel like finding out?

Nah.

I have some idea about the general opinion of the show in the Interwebs (I believe the proper expression is “burn it with fire”), and don’t feel like negative engagement is my thing. It’s the whole “Nobody hates Star Wars more than Star Wars fans”-thing which didn’t sit right with me even when I was a big-time SW fan, and I don’t want to step into that again. Covers of the score, art, yes, bring me that, but otherwise I feel like I can continue to enjoy this show as only a viewer, without lateral engagement.

There’s going to be a spin-off series, House of the Dragon, starting in 2022. Will I do the same with that series? Never say never, but I grew almost nine years with this show, I don’t know if I will have time in the future to spend a work day’s worth of hours per episode. And I’ll likely have read the general lines of that series from all the tie-in-books of ASOIAF, which will make theorizing either super easy or super frustrating, the latter if the makers use the written stuff the same way the makers of period pieces use history books.

Speaking of that, these last two seasons had that sort of feeling. Like, if you read actual history books, obviously what really happened was a lot more messy, with continuing small skirmishes, less intense interpersonal drama, many more claimants and bannermen, and Daenerys was actually three different people composed together (one of them died of pneumonia between important stuff), that sort of thing. When the historical events were divided into 13 episodes, the important battles stayed (in a simplified form) and other details were scooped around them.

As a final bonus, some superlatives.

Best character: Olenna Tyrell. No contest. The Queen of Thorns, now and always. Not someone I’d like to spend time with but extremely entertaining when on screen.

Best main character: Oof, this one is much harder. Generally I let main characters do their main character stuff and attach myself more to the side characters. Those who are not chosen ones or master assassin trainees. Is Sam main character enough? He had his own plot lines. That’s good enough for me. Being a coward is not easy, and by still doing brave deeds he was braver than most. He valued knowledge and earned his happy ending with his family. And he was just so charming. So Sam is my pick.

Character whose death I most enjoyed: The choice is between Joffrey, Stannis and Ramsay. With Joffrey and Ramsay I was just so happy that they were finally out of the show, and seeing Stannis get executed by Brienne for killing Renly was really sweet. Tywin’s death was almost this. First he gets smacked by Cersei’s confession that the kids are not Robert’s, and his precious legacy is a lie, then his hypocrisy with Shae is shown, and finally he gets shot while in a privy. A big contender there, but losing him from the show was a big loss, so that drops points.

Best episo… no, that’s too hard, best season: Season 4. The King’s Landing stuff that season was just superb. Tyrion, Tywin, Olenna, Oberyn, Varys, Littlefinger, Cersei, everyone was at the top of their game. Losing most of them by either death or exile was a big loss. And the battle on the Wall was great.

The element I could most do without: Boobs on the screen just to have boobs on the screen. I like boobs as much as anyone but I prefer lore lessons and boobs separately, mixing them together didn’t enhance either.

Most visceral reaction to death: Oberyn’s death. It was just… eww. Of all the horrible deaths that one was the most awful in the way it was depicted.

Biggest surprise: The Red Wedding. So great, so awful. In the book universe: How much the fourth and fifth novels differed from the show. I don’t envy anyone who, after adapting the third book, had to adapt essentially two road trip novels with several new plotlines started and nowhere near resolved when the books suddenly just stop. They were nice reads and hooked me, but I don’t feel anywhere closer to the end after them than I did after A Storm of Swords.

Best king/hand -combination: If Stannis would ever in any possible reality agree to it, I think Renly as the king and Stannis as the Hand would have been a good combo. Renly being the charismatic second Robert with some reforms (he complained about Robert only hunting in his last years), and Stannis as the one leading the boring administrative work.

Most useless gods: The Seven. For the most wide-spread religion in Westeros, they certainly didn’t do much. Or if they worked in mysterious ways, they sure were glad to give all the credit to the

Most frustrating god: The Lord of Light. Aargh.

Character most likely to have just walked to the wrong set: Mace Tyrell. I’m not sure he ever figured out what kind of show he was in. But he was glorious.

Best battle: Blackwater gets points here for being the first. I was used to Rome-type fade to black (which the first season used too), so an entire episode spent in one battle was something great. And the wildfire explosion was just awesome.

Best example of season one’s budget: The royal hunt of the great boar consisting of the king and three others walking in a forest.

Best beard: Ser Rodrik Cassel. Eight seasons and none could surpass him.

Best dresses: I liked Daenerys’ dresses this season, but now that I’m refreshing my memory with pictures, she also had a great blue one in season 3 and a white one in season 5. I also liked Cersei’s wide-sleeved red dress in season 2.

There, the end has come and I survived the game of thrones. Does that mean that I won it? Now I have several seasons’ worth of Blu-Ray bonus materials to watch, time to get on that. If you read this far, thank you for sticking to it.

Even if you supported another claimant. Now that every claimant is dead, it’s time to put old quarrels to the rest and work together. Dreams of spring to everyone.

#game of thrones #renly is right

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fhujami · 7 years

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My other half | Chapter 2 [Sam Drake x Reader]

Pairing: Reader x Original male character, Samuel Drake x Reader

Summary: When destiny chose to call you, in the middle of the wedding hassle, you were excited to went to your last adventure before settling down.

You thought, that after going on the last adventure, you might realise that your life as a treasure hunter was over, and maybe you were ready to start live a ‘normal life’.

But when you had been sucked in to adventure to find Henry Avery’s treasure with your long time friend Nathan, and his mysterious brother Sam, you started to wonder that if stable life was what you were meant to have.

Especially when Samuel Drake felt like he was the missing part of your soul. And you truly needed to fight with yourself and find out what you really wanted with your life.

Words: 1600

A/N: Cursive words between ‘these’ are your thoughts.

Tags: @jodiereedus22 @random-aya

A/N: I was so sure people does not want to read another fic around Uncharted 4, looks like I was wrong, or my idea was just too good so people want to read this XD. But THANK YOU! So here is chapter 2. (I have to say, this story is almost ready in my files, I only need to re-read the chapters, made some changes and post them to you ^^ so i guess i’m gonna post chapters every day, so there’s no too much waiting to you.[and meanwhile i can try to work slowly with HWSS]) ENJOY!

My other half

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - 19 - Chapter 20 - 29 - Chapter 30 -

Chapter 2

When you were heading to the airport on the next day, you couldn’t stop thinking that maybe you should had tell Jason the truth about where you were really going. But you were afraid that he would have say no, if you had told. Even he knew about your past and your background with treasure hunting, but this close to the wedding, he may not want to let you go. Even you didn’t even knew what was waiting for you in Madagascar.

You were sure about one thing in life; every lie will reveal some day. And you’ll probably get caught with your lie, in a way or another. But before it was time to that, you chose not to worry it too much. Maybe when you get back home you tell him yourself where you really were, after you had come home in one piece.

You met Elena on the airport. You hugged her deeply, you had missed her and she surely had missed you. When you got on the plane you asked her what she was thinking what Nate is doing in Madagascar.

“I don’t know. Something tells me he’s after some artifact again.” She sighed.

“Well, it was his life for a long time. Maybe he has some kind of mid-life crisis.” You tried to joke and it worked since Elena chuckled to it.

“I missed the adventure too.” You continued. Elena turned to look at you.

“On the other hand I understand Nate if this is what we think it is. I wanted to go adventure for a long time Elena. Stable life maybe isn’t for me.” You sighed and looked down in your hands.

Elena followed your gaze and noticed that something was missing.

“Wait, did you broke up?” She said while taking your hand raising it up showing your ring finger where was no ring. You shook your head.

“No, I took it off so I won’t lose it.” Elena left a relieved sigh from her lips, while starting to play with her ring.

Elena had tracked Nate’s cell in the city close to King’s bay. You two found the motel where he was staying and booked yourself a room. Elena somehow manage to get the key to Nate’s room and you two stepped inside.

He wasn’t there. But what you found there shocked you both.

“What the fuck...” You gasped when you saw the wall and table, beside the bed full of guns. Nate has returned his old life. You were little disappointed that he hadn’t ask you with him. In the past he had always asked you with him. Why not now? You stepped closer to the table and looked at all the maps, pictures and notes all over the table and wall.

“Henry Avery’s treasure?” You heard Elena saying while she went through the notes too.

“I guess that’s why the town is full of Shoreline soldiers. I had a bad feeling about this Elena. Nate’s in deep shit.” You said and turned your gaze to Elena. She looked disappointed. And you didn’t blame her. You could only guess how long Nate has been lying to her about where he was. And who knows if he’s even coming back to his hotel room.

But in a moment you heard people talking outside of the room. You turned to see to the door when the door got open, you saw Nate coming inside. And when he saw you two he was shocked. When you saw Sully coming inside behind him you shook your head, he was in this too? Why he didn’t ask you to this? You noticed that there was a third man walking behind them, but you didn’t recognized him.

You were little disappointed. Nate had asked Sully to this trip - and some other man which you didn’t knew - but not you. Why he didn’t ask you to come along?

“Hey Nate. How’s Malaysia job doing?” You asked and crossed your hands on your chest. You had time to ask him why he didn’t invite you, but first you needed to know what he was up to.

“Elena, [Y/N], it’s not what it looks like.” Nate said and you turned to look at Elena who was fighting against her tears.

You listen how Elena started to ask Nate what the hell he was doing. And you eyes wandered to the mysterious tall man behind Nate who was leaning on the wall. Who the hell was he? You noticed he was staring at you, and when you looked at him, you realized he looked little familiar… Have you met him at some point? Have you been working with him before long time ago or something? You felt how you cheeks blushed when his eyes were locked at you. ‘Why he stares me like that?’

Nate stepped further from Elena and turned to that mysterious man, raising his hand to him.

“This ah, is Sam. Sam Drake. My brother.”

Your jaw dropped and your eyes widened.

“What?” You couldn’t believe your ears. Nate turned his gaze to you and you saw sorrow in his eyes. You had seem that sorrow in them long time ago, when you first met him and started to get to know him. You always wondered what was the reason to that sorrow what was shimmering in his eyes almost fourteen years ago.

But, Nate has a brother? How you didn’t knew about him? After knowing Nate for almost fourteen years now, how on earth he never mentioned him?

“I thought he had died in Panamanian prison.” Nate continued while turning his gaze back to Elena. You shook your head. Yes, Nate had told you that he has been in Panamanian prison when he was younger, but never ever he had mentioned about having a brother. Nothing just didn’t made any sense. Why he never talked about him?

You turned your gaze to look at this ‘Sam’. He was clearly his older brother. Has he been in jail all these years or something? And how long has he been away? And how Henry Avery’s treasure had to do with anything? You mind was full of questions which needed answers.

You listened how Nate told you two about Hector Alcazar, who helped Sam out from prison and now they need to find the treasure to pay the debt. You hide your face into your palms. Everything sounded surreal. This just couldn't be true.

You watched how Elena left the room and you raised your gaze to Nate. He looked after his wife but didn’t go after her. You sighed and walked to him, hitting him on his shoulder.

“Are you fucking serious? Go after her!” You pointed to the door but Nate turned and started to head to the table without saying anything, without meeting your eyes.

“Nate what the fuck?” You followed him and tried to get eye-contact to him. Was he serious? He really just let Elena walk away from him? He really was going to do this her again? Sully stepped forward and joined you.

“She’s right, it’s not worth it. Go after your wife.” He said while placing his hand on Nate’s shoulder. Nate mumbled something under his breath, and you hissed between you teeth ‘asshole’ and rushed out of the room to run after Elena.

You runned after Elena who was already opening your room’s door. You grabbed her arm and turned her to face you and she rounded her hands around your neck and cried on your shoulder. You hugged her and smoothed gently her hair.

“Hey. Shhh, it’s okay.” You tried to calm her. You felt how your shoulder was getting wet from her tears. You hated to see her like this. She was one of the strongest woman you knew, and you knew also that Nate was her weakness. You wished your feelings had been as strong to Jason as Elena’s were for Nate.

You heard steps behind you coming closer and soon you heard Sully's voice.

“You okay there kid?” he asked and Elena withdrew the hug, wiping her tears away.

“I’m done, I’m coming home with you.” He said, placing his hand on Elena’s shoulder as she nodded.

You started to think. This wasn’t exactly the adventure you were hoping, but it sure was something. You really needed to get back to the game, for the last time, and that was the reason you came here in the first place. You bit your lower lip and wonder if it was okay to Elena if you stay with Nate and make sure he’ll come home safety?

“I’m staying.” You said before you think it better and change your mind. Elena’s and Sully’s heads snapped to you. You furrowed your brows and looked at Elena.

“I’m gonna make sure he’s coming home in one piece. If Sully isn’t going to be there, someone has to.”

“He has Sam.” Sully interrupted to you. You turned your gaze to him.

“Well I don’t know Sam. I don’t know if we can trust him, even though he’s Nate’s brother.” You said and raised your hand to stop Sully to interrupt you again.

“And hell, I - I really need this guys. I need to get away from that fucking wedding hassle. I need to have one last adventure, before I settle down for good.”

You turned to Elena again, looking deep into her eyes and waiting for permission. In a moment she nodded to you. She knew she can trust you, and she knew that you really needed this. She knew you too well.

#fhujamiwritings #My other half #Sam Drake x reader #Samuel drake x reader #samuel drake #sam drake #reader #fanfic #fanfiction #uncharted 4 fanfiction

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