Captain of Squad 12 "I'm not a doctor. If the subject is still alive, don't call me". Lieutenant of Squad 12 “Please call for any reason.”

🔥 Idia and Ortho Shroud 🔥

Requested by: @comingyourlugubriousness. I'm so sorry for the long wait.

[ Part 2 of this. yes, part 2. ]

🔥 Curiosities:

🔥 Captain almost never leaves his laboratory or visits the human world unless the event is related to experiments. His lieutenant usually goes.

🔥 Idia's zampakuto are twin katanas, and curiously Ortho's are too. Both are related to the Ignis Fatuus.

🔥 Idia mostly uses his creations to fight. At the same time he tests them on his opponents. (Mayuri energy).

🔥 Ortho usually brings human technology and Idia "adapts" it to Soul Society: Televisions, cell phones, video game consoles, microwaves. Idia hates this, but finds video games interesting.

🔥 Experiments + Video Games: Idia never sleeps.

🔥 The captain talks excessively through messages or cell phone audio.

🔥Idia usually talks to Captain Azul, because Azul insists.

🔥 They belong to one of the Noble Families of Soul Society, along with Malleus, Kalim, Leona and Sam. They usually meet every certain time and are a very chaotic group.

🔥 Ortho walks around Soul Society all the time and visits other squads. He also looks for places that sell sweets, and then drags the captain away by force.

🔥 Among Idia achievements is changing the shape of the Zampakutos. However, it is a long, dangerous process.

🔥 Lieutenant Ortho is actually his Zampakuto, who took shape and accompanies him. Only the other Captains and Lieutenants also know, since their brother died a long time ago.

🔥 Ortho will protect Idia at any cost and against any loss, whether enemy or even another shinigami.

🔥 His brother, Ortho, was reborn into the Human World as Quincy.

end note: 2023

i'm like 21 days late for this closure for 2023. but its taking me awhile to accept 2023 as a whole.

on the bright side, i've managed to settle myself fully and be contented with the life path i've chose towards the end of 2023 and i'm glad i still have the same people i trust and love since the start of 2023. to me, that is the most rewarding part.

somewhere in the almost middle of 2023, i went through a break up with someone whom i saw a future with. but little did i know that that person would go. leaving me in a spiral for three months. though, i did managed to move on during those 3 months while making the wrong choices too. its a habit for me to stay after breaking up as i did foresee a future with him and i thought there was hope. until that one day i drew such a hatred and my body rejected him - which was its way to tell me that its time for me to leave. took awhile for my mind be okay with that. to whoever you are, i hope you're happier without me and i'm sure you can be. i hope you and your family are healthy. i do miss your mother at times and yes, i'll fulfill the promise i've made with her when the time comes. this relationship that was built is still the most bitter to me. anyways, stream typa girl by blackpink.

work wise, i've managed to learn to love my work again with my new role. my team is so lovely even though i'm the only sgrean and the rest are in kl. but the dynamic the 4 of us have is just impeccable. though, i still do have the intention on leaving the company even when i love my team and my job. the company, she ain't it. too many unpredictable changes and sometimes too forceful for results.

family wise, i lost two of my elders on my maternal side in july and in october. i miss them dearly especially my grandfather, whom has protected me and shower me countless loves. hope he's happy up there. his passing was definitely one of my biggest points in 2023. i never thought i would lose him but god loves him more than anyone will ever. everytime i speak about him, i get choked out because there was a period whereby i had to be strong and i didn't process it yet, truly indenial of it. oh on the bright side, my dearest uncle is back. the only sad part about him being back is i am not sure if he knows my grandfather has passed on or not. but i am proud that he is back to civilization now.

friendship wise, i am glad that i managed to hang out with my friends lots in 2023, especially towards the end when i've managed to find balance and be happy again. yes, when i'm upset, i tend to disappear as i don't want anyone to worry about me nor see me in the state of agony. thankful to my two brothers who always entertain my cravings of acai and much impromptu meets by randomly going to changi airport or even vivo for no apparent reasons. thankful to vg always and forever for being my girls till today and being there for me when things get super hard. so blessed to have witness one of the heartfelt weddings ever - i couldn't control my tears, she has certainly went through alot and i am so happy that she's happy and love the life she is in right now.

you thought i was done? nah. guess what? i am blessed to have met someone yet again. when i say again, yes, he was my 2020 valentines date and my only ns girlfriend era i had. we met again in 2023 and we clicked really well. he did something unexpected as others would ask the person they like to be their girlfriend but no. he took out the 'do you want get a bto with me?'. surprise! yeah, we're on that now. wish us luck! still learning about one another because its been 3 years since we last met but boy, i am happy. he treats me kindly and even holds me softly. he reminds me of my 21 self who was still in school - just freedom with a little sprinkle of school stress. so blessed to be working at serangoon so i’m lowkey near him and sometimes i get free rides home hehe. thank you to my man for entertaining my jb staycays. may we go cruises this year. oh & we’re celebrating 2024 valentines together again! anyways, insyaallah we'll get the bto.

also, i've reconciled with the people i fell off friendships with in 2021 and i'm so happy i get to see them again and talk to them again. their humour are apparently all still the same. sending each other failed covers and stupid satire jokes. it makes me feel somewhat wholesome that i'm friends again with the people who were there for me when i was myself completely.

i am contented that i am myself, i am happy and i do not need to lead nor be strong for anyone anymore. i do not associate with the me in may 2023 to august 2023 (sadly my birthday month too) as i genuinely don’t know her. she’s a broken girl who leaned on people who were never meant to stay in her life and for that, i don’t know her. but all i know is, i’ll fight for the people who will fight for me. i’ll support you as much as i can. however, once you give up on me, i’ll only give you A Chance to redeem yourself or else, goodbye.

to my daddy, what the heck man. i haven’t seen you in two years and when my grandfather passed, he came. now he sees my family members more than me?! literally met my uncle before i meet him? chile. but yeah, my situation with daddy hasn’t change. it might when i want to get married but just for the camera, daddy!

lastly, my mom and i rarely fight, which is literally my biggest goal in 2023. so three cheers for me! thank you to my mom for being my biggest life supporter, life advisor, pillow to cry on. to more trips for you, mama!

if you read this until here, thank you for existing and thank you for being there for me.

i love you.

love, nini.

SPIRITUALISM People often ask me about ghosts. Since I spend a lot of time with derelict human history, I'm assumed to have contact with that secret, supernatural side of things. People will point out shapes in windows from my photos, and suggest that they represent a spectral figure. I'm forced to point out that I know better, and it's just a curtain, chair, reflection, or other corporeal explanation. I've received requests from TV programs and podcasts centred around "ghost hunting", and turned them all down. We all want to believe we're not alone, but it's too easy to manipulate feelings of isolation and loneliness for cheap entertainment – and I'm not inclined to encourage those who do so for my own advancement. If I were willing to play that game, I'd be making the big bucks by now. I've got all the applicable elements already in play, with years of experience as a photographer, and an encyclopedic knowledge of all the creepiest places in my county. It would take just a couple simple changes for me to put on a show. Some well-executed edits could easily convince thousands that I've been regularly encountering the dead on my travels. I could do more of the work with my writing. Maybe I'd start talking about noises I'd heard, unexplained creaks, bumps, or thumps in the shadows. Heck, I could straight up say I'd started hearing voices, and those who didn't declare me insane could be convinced I'd been entertaining spirits. There are plenty of ethical reasons why I wouldn't engage in that level of manipulation. But beyond the obvious concerns, I'm already wary of the power in suggestibility. When I was growing up with the dramatic spiritualism of my youth – born again, holy roller, filled with the holy spirit, whatever you might call it – I watched countless people succumb to the peer pressure of shared experience. Of course, you could argue that anything they think they felt, they felt indeed. After all, what is the difference in the final result? Nothing immediate, I'd say. Somewhere down the line, however, you might start attributing those moments to a gift or power in the facilitators. Those churches, pastors, or visiting speakers rarely placed adequate concern on what was ghost and what was man. Those discussions were seen as distractions from the moment. It's been seven years since I last sat through a service, but not a week has passed without a visit to a church. Some sit unlocked, some abandoned, and one I have the keys for. Wherever I wander, I go inside and sit in a state of silence. I've never felt any kind of buzzing or shiver up my spine. Sure, I've got all that glorious sensory input – the smell of old lumber and musty carpet, the warmth of sunlight, the feeling of raw wood on my skin. That impacts my thoughts, and improves my state of mind. If this exact experience was ever followed by a seemingly supernatural occurrence, well, you can be sure I'd talk about it. But I won't presume to describe anything I haven't seen or felt for myself. If that was a criteria most ghost hunter folks followed, I suspect that their twenty-four episode seasons would be shortened to twenty minutes of content. I've never been interested in telling people what to believe. It's not my job to say that "ghosts aren't real" or to claim that they are by some abstract definition. I'm only good at sharing stories compiled underfoot. You know by now how it goes – one half history, and one half me. I'm driven by the solidness of gravity itself. Hammer of my soles on the floor underneath, solid walls restraining. While I grapple with the intensely abstract nature of emotional expression, all I'm seeking is a way to share it better. I've found it almost impossible to have meaningful revelations vicariously. It's like writing romance novels when both the reader and writer have never been in love. Humans function best with personal context, and I won't provide a context for someone else if I'm missing my own. October 27, 2023 West Dalhousie, Nova Scotia Year 16, Day 5829 of my daily journal.

Lucidity

A WandaVision oneshot (SPOILERS!) Words: 1,623

Summary: When White Vision leaves WestView and discovers that Tony Stark is dead, he starts to realise that he is very different to who he used to be, but isn't sure how.

Read on AO3! (check reblog for link)

Lucidity

He is Vision.

That was the one clear thought in his mind. It pierced through the stitches of the (now unfamiliar) mismatched coding, giving him clarity and yet confusing him at the same time. The overwhelming instinct to destroy The Vision and Wanda Maximoff slowly began to recede, leaving behind only the memory of an order and a small urge to comply.

It would be wrong to terminate Wanda Maximoff, would it not? He recalled telling her that he loved her. Loved ones do not harm each other, do they?

(“I love you,” he grits out, as her magic finally manages to penetrate the stone. The tiny sliver or relief overpowers the immense agony he is in and he releases the breath he has been holding, drinking in her features one last time before squeezing his eyes shut to embrace his fate. The last thing he knows is pain beyond imagination as she destroys all that he is.)

Or perhaps they do, depending on the circumstances. He felt like he should know the answer. He did not.

As the last of his new programming was broken apart, the order itself did not leave him.

Terminate Wanda Maximoff. Neutralise The Vision.

But he was The Vision. So… he must destroy himself, correct? That was the logical thing to do. So then why was he feeling hesitant to do so?

He flew straight upwards to set about to accomplish this, surpassing the strange red barrier of Wanda’s creation until he was far above it. Since the sky was clear that day, from his perspective he could see that it was hexagonal. He then angled his body so that he was upside down, decreased his density to more closely match that of a human’s, and let gravity do the work.

Eyes closed, he started to fall.

(“Mr Stark, there is something I have been meaning to ask of you.” Tony turns to him in surprise, but that surprise quickly morphs into that odd, warm expression he wears whenever he talks to him. He tells him to continue, so he does. “I have discovered that… that you and Dr Banner have programmed me in such a way that I am unable to bring harm to myself.” Tony’s eyes widen and there is an unspoken question which he does not answer. “I was wondering if you could change that. If I were to be corrupted in some way, I want to be able to stop myself before I hurt others.” The reasons he goes on to detail are perfectly logical, but he does not understand the heartbreak written on Tony’s face.)

He stops himself just as he is about to enter Wanda’s domain.

Life review is a phenomenon encountered by those having a near-death experience where it is said that their life “flashes before their eyes”. Not once did Vision ever think he himself would experience it. He did not when he was being killed by Wanda, he did not when he was being killed by Thanos. So it stands to reason that he should not in this situation, either. And yet he did.

Countless vague memories of Tony Stark. Much clearer memories of the destruction of Ultron and Sokovia. Of stolen moments with Wanda Maximoff. Of the mind stone communicating with him. Of Thanos.

He no longer had the mind stone. Wanda Maximoff was somewhere beneath him that very moment, appearing to fight a witch. The last he saw of Tony Stark was when he was on a news broadcast somewhere in New York. The last he saw of Thanos was when his hand was clawing through his skull in Wakanda.

He tried to access the Internet to find their whereabouts, but rather jarringly realised that he was completely cut-off. Unlike his memories that had simply been blocked from him, connecting to the Internet was now something he was physically unable to do.

He grimaced. That could prove to be a problem.

A problem that Tony Stark could fix. As the world appeared to be in no immediate danger, he could only assume that Thanos was not currently a threat. Once his disarranged mind had been mended, he would then go to Wakanda to assess the situation. Until then, he had to find Tony Stark.

Being restricted from using the Internet felt akin to the loss of a limb, which is why it took him a few moments to search through his memories and decide that the most rational place to start looking would be the Avengers Compound.

(“I never thought I would share a house with Tony Stark.” Wanda tells him after he asks her if there is a difference between a house and a home. “But I’ve always thought of a house as just where you live. A home is the people and memories attached to it.” He is still confused. He supposes that the Avengers Compound is his house, but is it truly his home if he has never lived anywhere else? Wanda seems to sense his doubt, as she always does, and she takes his hand comfortingly. “Vision… I think this our home now.”)

And so he began his flight, as fast as could, to New York.

~-.-~

The Compound had been destroyed.

Where the New Avengers Facility had once been were acres of flattened forest. From where he was hovering, he could see the teems of teams of people, all hard at work completing various tasks. Some were clearing the remainder of rubble, others were attempting to rebuild the facility from the nothing that was left, and, perhaps the most curiously, in the middle of it all there was a large group of journalists surrounding a small monument.

What had happened?

Unlike the rest of the facility, that mysterious monument was the only thing that appeared to be fully built. In an attempt to better understand the situation, Vision moved closer and partially phased into a tree to privately see it more clearly.

He waited for the crowds to move in such a way that he would be able to see what was written on the metal pillar, and when he could finally read it he felt his whole body tense.

(“Listen V, it’s my will and I get to decide who’s on it. Clue’s in the name.” He tries to argue but Tony interrupts him. “Nope, not gonna hear any of your ‘ohh but I’m not human’ bullshit. I had JARVIS down to inherit a bunch of stuff before this, and- yes, I know you’re not him, this is just to prove a point.” He listens in silence, still disagreeing with Tony’s decision. The man’s voice takes on a solemn tone. “I want you to have this much because believe it or not you’re like a son to me, Vision.” All of a sudden, all of his questions regarding his and Mr Stark’s relationship are cleared up. Having Tony say it himself helps it all make sense. Their bond had grown to be more than just inventor and creation. It was that of a father and son. “And I’m gonna treat you like one, even on my will, alright?”)

Tony Stark was dead. Anthony Edward Stark was… dead. If the words on the plaque of red and gold were to be believed, he sacrificed himself to save the universe on October 17th, 2023.

2023? He had lost 5 years?

Vision had felt different since the moment he was rebooted. It was not an unpleasant feeling. Just… different. And that difference had not been more noticeable to him than it was in that moment.

This was because a part of him (the JARVIS part of him) was stunned with disbelief. Then that disbelief was gradually replaced with other sensations. It was as if the voice in his head (he was uncertain if the voice belonged to him or JARVIS) was screaming in the confusion of what could have happened, the guilt of not being there to prevent it and protect him, and the overwhelming grief of losing the closest thing he had to a family member. His father. Sir.

But that’s all it was: a voice in his head. Outwardly…

He felt nothing.

He absentmindedly wondered if that should worry him.

With the knowledge that Tony Stark was dead and therefore could not help him, Vision decided to find someone who could. As far as he knew, Dr Banner was still missing and he was strangely hesitant to seek out the help of Shuri. So perhaps he could attempt to help himself?

No, stay! Stay and ask these people what happened! Ask if they need help! Find the other Avengers! Find out how Mr Stark died!

He left New York.

He had the memories of who he had been. He was not the same. Using those differences he could try and piece together an explanation. The world did not need saving at present, which meant that Thanos had most likely been defeated. And as Vision had nobody and now nowhere to go to, he would just have to wait until the world needed him.

(“Just so we’re absolutely clear,” the man says, “you are to terminate Wanda Maximoff and neutralize The Vision by any means necessary. She’ll be powerful, so be careful. And The Vision will match you for every move you make. After that, you report back to me and wait for your next orders, understood?”

“Understood.” He affirms, and for the smallest of moments his voice sounds wrong.)

Yes, he will wait. He will be useful again. They will need him- who? Humanity or those that weaponised him? Who was the old Vision loyal to? Is he truly Vision anymore? Why doesn’t he care?- and until they do… he will wait.