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adarkroomandawallflower · 11 months

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Hey there! I love your writing so far! I was wondering if you would write a little something about Data and his partner choosing pet names for each other? I think it could be cute :)

Hello, I'm so glad you're enjoying my writing!

This is such a cute idea, and thank you so much for bestowing the honor upon me to write this lovely request!

I had a lot of different ideas for this, and couldn't settle on just one, so I decided to write this in the style of those "5+1" fics. I tried to choose older/more outlandish terms of endearment, in order to avoid potentially discarding a name that someone would actually want to be referred to by. Hopefully, I was successful in this endeavor (but my sincere apologies if not)!

The final nicknames I chose were based on Data's characterization, and what names I think would be most appropriate and fitting for him and his vocabulary. I'm not sure if anyone else will agree with these choices, but I hope they're still enjoyable.

Anyways, without further ado, here's the final piece! I'm so sorry for the wait, but I really hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it 😊

5 Times Data and His Partner Tried Out Pet Names (and the 1 Time They Stuck):

Although Data didn't quite understand the necessity for having a pet name for his partner, he did understand the appeal. It was another form of affection that couples demonstrated with one another; something special shared between both parties.

Frankly, Data hadn't even considered having a designated term of endearment for you. At least, not until Geordi and himself had discussed the subject after witnessing a couple in Ten Forward one evening using their chosen pet names.

"Why did Lieutenant Smith refer to his spouse as an overly saccharine pastry comprised of honey?" Data asked, bewildered at the exchange he just observed between the aforementioned crewmembers.

Geordi chuckled, "He didn't mean it literally, Data. He meant it as a pet name."

Data still looked at his friend quizzically, "'Pet name'?"

"Yeah, a term of endearment."

Finally, he understood, "Ahh."

"Don't you and your partner have pet names for one another?"

Data shook his head, "No, we do not."

Geordi raised his eyebrows above his VISOR, "Really?"

"Indeed...I did not realize this was a necessary aspect to couplehood."

"Well, it's not exactly 'necessary', but it is a fairly common thing between couples."

"Hm, I see..."

Later that night, while Data was running an internal diagnostic, analyzing the information he had collected during his Away Mission earlier that day, and reviewing the remainder of the day's events, he considered the conversation he had with Geordi. Should he have a pet name for you? If so, which one should he choose?

After some internal analysis, Data decided that yes, he did want to designate a term of endearment for you. He figured the best way to go about choosing a name would be to use a trial-and-error method of research:

First, he would conduct personal research about pet names. He would pay special attention to their connotations and popularity. Next, he'd construct a behavioral profile for you that he would then use to determine which pet names you would most likely appreciate. He would then test the chosen names by using them to refer to you. Additionally, he'd observe your reactions to each name, and internally record his observations. Finally, he'd compile all his collected data and analyze them to determine which term of endearment you appeared to enjoy the most.

The endeavor would prove to be more difficult than he anticipated.

1. Honeybun or Honeybunch

Since Lieutenant Smith and his spouse had initiated this experiment, Data felt it was only appropriate to test out their preferred pet name first. He tested it out a few days after he witnessed their interaction, one night while the two of you were snuggled up on his couch with Spot.

Data was sitting near one end of the couch, his body oriented straight ahead and away from you. You sat at the other end of the couch, facing Data. Your legs were stretched out across his lap, and one of his hands was draped along the arm of the couch. His other hand was affectionately rubbing your knee. Spot was curled up in your lap, purring loudly as you intermittently stroked her back while you spoke.

You were currently summarizing your day's events for Data, and he listened intently. His gaze was soft and adoring, and he was meticulously making internal notes about the way you gestured certain aspects for emphasis, how your chest shook when you laughed, and the way your lips curved upwards just a little higher when you returned his eye contact. Absentmindedly, he marveled at how beautiful humans and their behaviors were, and he wondered if he could ever come close to emanating that beauty himself.

After you completed your tale, you relaxed back into your corner of the couch, ready to answer the anticipated onslaught of questions from him. Once his queries were satisfactorily answered, it grew silent between the two of you, but comfortably so.

At this point, you were relaxed, and starting to succumb to the call of sleep. As your eyes started to droop, Data spoke softly, "Shall we 'hit the hay', Honeybun?"

Your eyes shot open. Now, you were wide awake, "What?"

"Your respiratory and heart rates have decreased by 3.7% in the last 4 minutes and 51 seconds, and you have been closing your eyes for intervals longer than necessary for blinking. You are demonstrating the initial stages of human sleep," he looked at you sweetly, "I believe it would be best if we went to bed now...Honeybun. You are welcome to spend the night in Spot and I's quarters."

You stared at him curiously for a moment, before you laughed, "Okay, honeybunch; let's go to bed."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise at your unexpected reciprocation of the pet name.

You carefully picked up Spot from your lap before slowly getting up. You and Spot made your way to Data's bedroom, but said android was still on the couch, processing your previous interaction.

Based on your expression and reactions, Data deduced that you did not particularly enjoy that nickname. However, did he enjoy being called a 'honeybunch'?

"You coming, honeybunch?" you called from his bedroom.

Again, Data reviewed the name, considering his perceptions towards it, before he grimaced slightly.

2. Snookums

The next time he tested a term of endearment on you was over a week later, during a double date between the two of you and the O'Briens in Ten Forward.

You and Data had arrived first, and were chatting idly as you waited for your friends to join you. Once Keiko and Miles arrived, you all greeted each other, and caught up briefly before Data got up to get everyone some drinks.

"I'll just have a plain ol' Irish ale," Miles said.

"Some tea would be lovely," Keiko added.

Data turned to you, "And what would you like, Snookums?"

Miles chortled softly, and Keiko lightly kicked him under the table, but she was holding back a smile herself.

Data, who was too focused on you and your reaction, thankfully didn't notice the O'Brien's' interaction. He studied you carefully, patiently awaiting your response.

You blinked, still processing the nickname, "Uhh just some water, please."

He nodded once, "I shall return in a moment with our beverages."

Miles watched Data walk away, waiting until he was out of earshot. Once satisfied with the distance between the three of you & Data, Miles then turned to you with a smirk, "'Snookums'?"

You raised your eyebrows and shrugged, "I have no clue where that came from...last week, he called me 'Honeybun'."

Again, Miles snorted.

"Miles!" Keiko scolded, "Don't be rude!"

He held up his hands in mock surrender, "I'm not! They're just...interesting choices for nicknames."

"I suspect he's up to something," you theorized, "This is probably related to some personal research he's conducting, or something. In any case, I'm sure it's just a phase," you hadn't been too concerned about this seemingly random development in his behavior, but you were curious as to its purpose. It was still a fairly recent alteration, so you figured you'd let him have his fun a bit more before you confronted him about it.

"Maybe he's trying to be more romantic," Keiko offered, "in his own way."

You pondered the thought, as you watched Data gather your drinks. He certainly was romantic, in his own way. You both had lunch together almost every day, something that he had insisted on. After he discovered the ancient invention of "Post-It Notes", he made it a habit to leave you handwritten notes with them throughout your office. Their contents varied, from jokes pertaining to your area of expertise to quotes from his favorite works of literature that reminded him of you. He even enjoyed reading some of his favorite novels and plays to you. These actions may not have been the kind of whirlwind, passionate gestures that most people equated to romance, but you knew they were his way of showing his fondness for you, and you loved them (and him) dearly.

You continued to watch him as he carefully placed everyone's requested drinks on a small tray that Guinan provided. You noticed how he was slightly more careful when placing your drink on the tray, and how he placed it in front of the others. You knew his actions were deliberate and calculated, but it still brought a soft smile to your lips.

"Maybe," you finally conceded.

"And maybe you should take some notes, Miles," Keiko teased her husband.

Miles sighed, "Oh, Hell..."

3. Sweet Cheeks

"Thank you for bringing me lunch, Data," you told him, sitting down in the chair he had pulled out for you. When you had contacted him earlier to let him know that you were going to work late and wouldn't have time to grab lunch with him, he decided to bring lunch to you, in your office. Data had also taken the time to replicate some flowers in a vase and cleared your desk of all clutter, so you could have a proper table setting for your meal.

"You are welcome," he said, as he gently pushed your chair back in.

Your shared meal was relaxed and calm, but the atmosphere changed when Data suddenly dropped his latest pet name for you into the conversation, "I believe your proposed solution to your current work predicament is acceptable, and will prove to be successful, Sweet Cheeks."

You then did what Data recognized from 20th century humor to be a classic 'spit take'. He was surprised, yet somewhat delighted by this, as he had never witnessed someone perform a spit take before. He considered inquiring about it, but decided against it.

You stared at him in astonishment, blushing wildly as you coughed, "I beg your pardon??"

Your reaction was quite unexpected, and Data scrunched his eyebrows in soft confusion as he attempted to ascertain the somewhat scandalized tone of your voice, "Did I say something wrong?"

Before speaking, you cleared your throat, and waited for the shock to subside, "No, Data, you didn't say anything wrong, per say...It's just that 'Sweet Cheeks' is a very old and sometimes offensive term, depending on the context, used to describe someone with a nice ass."

Data looked at you with surprise, and perhaps embarrassment. How had he missed that pertinent fact during his research? "I see...I apologize for offending you; that certainly was not my intent," he considered this new development briefly, before tilting his head softly and returning his gaze to you, "Based on this information, that term would also be inaccurate in describing yourself because you do not have a donkey."

You couldn't help but laugh softly, "Sorry, not that kind of ass, Data. I meant it refers to someone who has an attractive butt."

Realization dawned on him, "Ahh," he raised an eyebrow, "Although it would be accurate to describe your posterior as 'attractive', I would not wish to use an offensive term to convey that fact."

"Data!" you said, astonished and blushing once again.

Data was hopelessly confused anew, "Have I offended you again?"

"No, no, it's just..." you sighed, still flustered. "Nevermind..." you carefully stood up, "I have to get back to work, so I'll catch you later," you tidied up the remnants of your lunch, pressed a quick peck to his lips, and somewhat hurriedly left your office.

4. Dumpling

"Alright, Lieutenant," Dr. Crusher said as she completed healing the large gash that ran along your forearm, "I think that just about does it. Can you wiggle your wrist for me, like this?" you watched as she moved her wrist, and you replicated her movements. Although you were able to repeat her actions, you felt a small pinch somewhere in your wrist, causing you to wince.

Dr. Crusher noticed this, and gently took your wrist in her hand, "Let me take another look," she scanned your wrist with another handheld medical scanner, "Ahh, it looks like the fracture I repaired earlier is applying excess pressure on your radial nerve," she smiled reassuringly, "It's just a pinched nerve, but I'll need to go get a different tool to repair it," she gently released your wrist, "I'll be right back."

As you waited patiently for her to return, the doors to Sick Bay opened. You looked up and saw Data making his way over to you.

Having not seen him all day, you were elated that he was here, "Data!"

He smiled faintly at your enthusiasm for his arrival, somewhat perplexed at how your mood always seemed to improve almost immediately upon the sight of him, or mention of his name. His smile widened just slightly when he reached his hand out to you, and you eagerly took his hand in yours.

After a few moments, his expression became serious, "Commander Riker informed me of the injuries you sustained during the Away Mission," he frowned slightly, "I apologize for not arriving sooner, but the Exobiology team required my assistance in analyzing the samples you and the remaining members of the Away Team collected."

"No apology necessary; I understand."

He performed a quick visual inspection of you, before his eyes met yours again. It only lasted a second, but you could have sworn you saw something akin to concern swimming in his golden irises, "Are you alright...Dumpling?"

You took a moment to absorb the new nickname before replying, "Yes, I think so...Dr. Crusher healed all of my cuts, and repaired my broken wrist. She still has to alleviate a pinched nerve, but other than that and a few scars, she says I'll be just fine."

"I am...relieved to hear that," he squeezed your hand gently, "When Commander Riker explained to the Captain and myself that you had directly thrown yourself in front of an incoming boulder, in order to displace Ensign Diaz out of its path, my mind was..." he paused pensively, as he searched for the most appropriate term, "...uncomfortably preoccupied with the prospects of how extensive and detrimental your injuries could be," his thumb rubbed the back of your hand affectionately, and his eyes appeared almost sad. "The possibility that you sustained serious injuries, or could have lost your life was rather...distracting to me, and made it difficult to complete the sample analysis."

You brought your intertwined hands up to your lips, and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand, "I'm sorry for worrying you," he looked as if he was going to remind you that he was incapable of worrying in any fashion, but he didn't vocalize the correction, "I didn't intend to land directly in that boulder's path. I was only trying to push Ensign Diaz out of the way, but I miscalculated the boulder's velocity."

His expression became neutral, "Regardless, your actions were admirable, and I am pleased that your injuries were minimal," suddenly, he gave you a pointed look. "However, as your partner, I must sternly remind you not to knowingly put yourself in unnecessary danger again," his expression softened slightly, "Dumpling."

A soft laugh interrupted your moment, and you both turned towards the sound, "Well, don't you worry, Data," Dr. Crusher had returned, a new tool in hand, "In a few moments, your Dumpling will be as good as new," you blushed at her use of the moniker, and Data took mental note of this.

Dr. Crusher held the tool against your wrist. It tingled slightly, but otherwise you felt nothing. After a few minutes, she turned it off and removed it from your skin, "Alright, move your wrist for me again?" you repeated the same motions she had shown you before. This time, there was no pain at all. She smiled, "Better?"

"Much better; thank you."

"You're welcome. I suggest you don't put too much strain on that wrist for a couple of weeks," she began to put away her tools and instruments, "If you notice any more pain, please come back to see me."

You nodded, "Thank you, I will," Data helped you carefully hop down from the Bio-Bed, "Do you want to grab some dinner now, Data?" you asked, "I have a sudden, inexplicable craving for dumplings."

Dr. Crusher held back a laugh.

5. Love Bug

"So, Reg will take care of Spot, Keiko will water and watch over our plants, Beverly and Geordi will keep tabs on our ongoing research experiments..." you reviewed the checklist on your PADD for the umpteenth time, "Okay, I think that's it...am I forgetting anything?"

"Negative, Love Bug. It appears you have everything 'under control'."

You peered up from the PADD to look at him, an eyebrow raised questioningly, "'Love Bug'?"

Data nodded, "That is what I said."

You sighed, but smiled softly, "Okay, Data; what's going on?"

"To what are you referring to?"

"In the past month, you've been calling me various nicknames. What's all this about? Are you conducting some kind of research?"

He looked at you, accessing your reaction for any kind of anger or discomfort. When he saw nothing but confusion and curiosity in your eyes, he sighed softly, "It had been brought to my attention that couples tend to utilize terms of endearment for each other," he blinked, "I did not wish to neglect one of my expected duties as a partner, nor did I wish to make you feel as though you were 'missing out' on an aspect of couplehood, simply due to my ignorance."

You softened immediately at his admission, "Oh, Data," he looked away briefly and somewhat sheepishly, "Being in a relationship with you doesn't make me 'miss out' on anything. In fact, I've gained much more from being in this relationship with you than I would from being in a relationship with anyone else."

His eyes locked with yours, and they were noticeably brighter than before, "Truly?"

You placed your PADD down on a nearby table, and took both of his hands in yours, "Truly," you repeated, before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. When you pulled away, you flashed him a reassuring smile, "Everyone else are the ones who are missing out."

The corners of his lips curled just faintly upwards, "Thank you for alleviating my vexations in that regard," he raised his eyebrow in thought for a moment, before he looked back at you with an inquisitive expression, "Based on your reactions to each of the names I chose, I gathered that you did not particularly enjoy any of my selections. Is that an accurate conclusion?"

"I mean, they weren't necessarily bad choices, they were just...a bit dated, and neither of our styles. But yes, you're correct that I didn't particularly like them."

"Hmm," he bowed his head down slightly to better meet your eyes, "Do you have a preferred term of endearment you would like for me to use?"

You pursed your lips in consideration, "Well, I do have specific names that I do like...but I don't think I'd want you to use those, either."

He tilted his head softly, his eyebrows scrunched in slight confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Well, I think that pet names chosen between partners should be somewhat unique, in the sense that they should relate to something only the participants of that relationship are aware of, like an inside joke of some kind," you paused, "I think those names should also match both partners, not just the recipient of the name. I don't think my current preferences fit you because they aren't necessarily terms you're likely to use."

He took a few moments to analyze this new information, before he nodded, "Yes, I believe I understand. In essence, you would like for me to choose a term of endearment for you that is both unique and relatable to you, but also representative of my vernacular?"

You smiled and squeezed his hands, "Exactly, yes."

"Hmm," he blinked, "I shall take this into consideration, and 'return to the drawing board'."

You laughed softly, "Sounds good," you leaned in, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, "Thank you for being such a sweet and considerate partner."

"You are welcome."

"What about you?"

His look of confusion returned, "What about me?"

"Is there any particular name you'd like for me to use for you?"

He thought about it briefly before raising his eyebrows, "Truthfully, I had not considered requesting a term of endearment for me, from you...Although I do not have a preference for any particular term at this time, I believe I would like for you to bestow one upon me."

You nodded, "Okay. I guess I'll have to go back to the drawing board, too...but for now, let's go enjoy our Shore Leave, Love Bug."

+1. "Dearest" and "Sunshine"

As Data's eyes flickered between his canvas and you, he could tell that you were getting restless. You had remained in your current position for the last 2 hours, 47 minutes, and 13 seconds, relatively unmoving. You had not complained once about your discomfort, but he could tell from your slight fidgeting that the required stillness was getting to you.

He reviewed the state of his canvas one more time, adding a couple more strokes of paint, before gently setting his brush down on his easel, "Would you like to take a break?"

You immediately sighed with relief, "Yes, please," you began to move, but stopped, "if it's not too much of an inconvenience for you?"

"Not at all. In fact, you have been an excellent muse thus far; much better than Spot. You are more than deserving of a break," he set down his paint palette, and tilted his head as he reviewed his progress. He was able to get a good portion of your silhouette and distinctive features outlined onto his canvas. He would only need your assistance for another session or two before he could complete the painting on his own.

"Can I see it?" you asked excitedly as you made your way over to him.

"Please," he said, and stepped aside to allow you viewing space.

You looked it over, and smiled widely, "Wow, this looks amazing already, Data! You're definitely going to get the highest marks from your art teacher for this," the two of you continued to admire the beginnings of his painting in comfortable silence for a moment, before you broke it, "Can I ask you something?"

Data turned to look at you, "Of course."

"Why did you decide to paint me for this assignment?"

"In my art course, we recently discussed the Aestheticism art movement. The core belief of this movement was 'art for art's sake'. In other words, it prioritized the aesthetic value of art, rather than the common belief at the time of the movement's introduction that art must serve a particular, didactic purpose," he paused, and inhaled sharply before continuing, "For this assignment, my instructor desired for myself and my classmates to create a work of art, in the tradition of the Aestheticism movement."

You absorbed all the information he just provided, attempting to determine how it related to you. After realizing you still didn't understand the connection, you asked, "That's all really interesting, Data, but what does it have to do with me?"

He eagerly continued, "After careful consideration, I realized that you embody Aestheticism. Although you can and do appreciate the hidden meanings of not only art, but many aspects of life itself, you also recognize the importance of creativity with no inherent purpose," he looked at you softly, "During one of our thoughtful, evening conversations we shared in the initial stages of our relationship, when I had explained to you my confusion as to my purpose of being, you responded that perhaps my father had no true purpose in creating me. Perhaps the only reason he created me was because he wanted to produce something beautiful, simply because he could. Perhaps he merely wished to add something of aesthetic value to the universe. Perhaps he was an artist, just as much as he was the forefront of cybernetics."

He inhaled sharply again, still looking at you, "I have found myself revisiting that conversation consistently and frequently, as frequently as the rate at which you are a part of my thought processes. This lesson, in particular, had triggered my memory banks to replay this memory 3.27 times more than usual. Thus, I deduced that you would be the most appropriate topic for this assignment."

You blinked, staring at him in complete bewilderment. You certainly weren't expecting that answer! Your brain felt like it was malfunctioning, uncertain how to process all this information.

As your brain melted inside your skull, you felt him gently take your hand, "Additionally, this assignment has also made me realize how...dear you are to me. You are always willing and eager to assist me in my hobbies, activities, assignments, and other endeavors. You have never expressed agitation nor annoyance with me, and always allow me to 'babble' to any length or degree. You have always encouraged myself and my passions, even when they potentially served an inconvenience to you."

He squeezed your hand gently, "The term 'dearest' refers to someone who is: loved and cherished, greatly valued, precious," he exhaled softly, "Although I am incapable of love, I am capable of cherishment, and seeing the value in others and objects. I certainly cherish you, and see how invaluable you are to many individuals, including myself," he looked at you with pure determination, and maybe a hint of pride, "Therefore, I believe the most fitting term of endearment for you is 'Dearest'."

At this point, you were short-circuiting, and your brain was absolute mush. Data was always eloquent with his wording, but this was definitely one of the most eloquent things he had said to you. It made his earlier statement of being incapable of love seem completely impossible. No one could speak in such a way about anyone or anything, if they weren't capable of love in some capacity or degree.

He watched you cautiously and patiently, his eyes moving slightly from side to side as he awaited your response. Your brain was still unable to form coherent thoughts, and no words escaped your lips. As his words sunk in and settled as warmth in your chest, all you could do was beam at him as you threw your arms around his neck, and pressed your lips to his in a deep kiss. He was frozen for just a moment, evidently surprised by your reaction, but gently moved his hands to hold your waist and returned your kiss.

After a couple of minutes of eager kissing, he pulled away, "Based on your reaction, I assume that you find this an acceptable term of endearment for yourself?"

You laughed softly, "Yes, Data, I do. It's perfect."

His lips curled upwards into a faint but bright smile, "I am glad you think so, Dearest."

You played with the ends of his hair that tickled his collar, still beaming at him, "You know, this just confirms my theory that 'Sunshine' would be the most fitting pet name for you."

He tilted his head, analyzing the moniker, "Intriguing. What is your connotation of this nickname, as it pertains to me?"

"Well, ever since I met you, you've brought so much light and sunshine into my life. You're a very bright, and warm person, both literally and figuratively, that you are an embodiment of the sun and its sunshine. I realized I've come to think you of as my personal ray of sunshine," you wished you could convey your thoughts and ideas as refined as the manner in which he just did, but the state of your mind was still too slushy to do so.

At your admission and unexpectedly sentimental token, his expression softened. You could tell he was analyzing and processing your sentiments with a fine-toothed comb, no doubt for further review later.

He was quiet for a long time, or at least, a long time for an android, and you began to shuffle nervously, "Do you find the name acceptable?"

Again, he was quiet as he mulled over your query. Finally, his eyes met yours, "Yes, I believe I do. I never considered the similarities between myself and the sun, but I can understand how you came to those conclusions," he blinked, "Yes," he repeated, "I do 'like' it, Dearest."

Your lips brushed against his once again, "Glad to hear it, Sunshine."

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