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astroboots · 6 months

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period sex with soft marc☹️☹️🥺🥺 him being so sweet n praising you😭😭😭😭 hed take such good care of you<3 i need him

Take Care of Me

CO-WRITTEN WITH @THIRSTWORLDPROBLEMSS

Content: explicit as fuck. Period sex, Marc's competence in overdrive.

Word count: 3k words

ASTROBOOT’S MASTERLIST | THIRSTWORLDPROBLEMS' MASTERLIST |MOON KNIGHT MASTERLIST

Painful is an understatement.

If you had to describe what your period felt like to an alien who had no understanding of human biology this is how you might describe it:

Imagine a battalion of tiny sumo wrestlers duking it out inside your uterus.

Imagine a never-ending game of tag between a horde of stomp-happy elephants using your stomach as the running ground.

Imagine the two allegories combined, but multiple it with three, and imagine having it every month from the time you're a young adolescent until (if you're lucky and god is merciful) it will end when you're in your fifties.

As you lie in your bed, curled up with a hot water bottle tucked to your lower belly, and whine into your pillow, you are convinced that this is some kind of divine punishment. You must have been bathing in virgin's blood to retain youth in a past life. Because you don't know what else you could've done to deserve this. And if you weren't, then if there is a god in heaven, they had better beg for your forgiveness when you get there.

"Want me to make you a cuppa love?"

You drag your face from where it's buried in the pillow to peek up at Steven's worried face.

Big brown eyes gaze down at you with so much concern, he must think you are on your death bed. He's been taking care of you all day. Pampering, coddling, and fussing over you.

He's been refilling your tea before you have time to even empty the cup. Reheating the hot water bottle every twenty minutes before it even has a chance to drop in temperature.

It's incredibly sweet. But you're so tea-ed out at the moment, you think 90% of your body composition is tea at this point.

"'m good."

He frowns, biting down on his lip, and you can sense his worry from bed. "If you don't want tea maybe some hot chocolate? I can even toast some marshmallows on top and I have a packet of biscuits."

You consider his generous proposal for a second or two.

In all honesty, you feel too sick even for chocolate, but you have a feeling that turning down chocolate will truly make Steven think you're dying and try to call the ambulance. So instead you answer, "that sounds lovely Steven."

His whole face brightens up, and he leaps to his feet and darts towards the kitchen.

You close your eyes to the raucous sound of pots and pans being pulled out. In the background, the sound of something crashing clanks out from the direction of the kitchen. It's followed by Steven's familiar comforting voice cursing "bugger" and "oh no," but you're too tired to check for yourself what's going on, as you drift off to sleep.

In your dream, you're wrapped in a comforting warmth. There's a gentle pressure on your stomach and limbs that takes all the pain away. Strong and tender, all at once, you want to linger in this sensation forever.

It's not forever, of course. But your nap lasts long enough that you get a bit of respite from the pain. When you wake again, it's to the distinct smell of burnt sugar lingering in the air.

Strong hands traverse over your hips and stomach, kneading at your sore and aching muscles with a perfect pressure that feels like heaven.

He's sitting at the foot of your bed, with a posture so upright, it's almost militant. The man doesn't need to open his mouth with his Chicagoan accent for you to know it's Marc who's sitting next to you right now.

"Where's Steven?" you ask.

"Put him on a time out. Nearly burnt down the place, trying to torch some marshmallows."

You smile at the image Marc is painting for you. That explains the burnt smell.

"How are you feeling," Marc asks. His hand roams from your stomach to the plane of your thighs. It has everything tingle pleasantly inside of you.

"Better," you tell him. "It feels really good when you do that."

His hand stills for a second, eyes drifting to his own hands. "Want me to keep going?"

You barely have to nod before he starts up again. Large hands covering the insides of your thighs as he presses down with just the right amount of strength.

The sensation spikes across your nerves and rides up your spine until the tense knot in your stomach that has been terrorizing you all day unfurls.

You gasp at the sensation, back arching into his touch for more. "There, there, don't stop."

It's maddening how good it feels. Marc knows your body like a map of a continent that he's explored every corner of. His hand drifts ever so slightly, fine-tuning his touch that has your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

It's the relief you've been begging for all day. Each press of his hand erasing the blunt ache that's been digging into your flesh since you woke up this morning.

That large hand of his, smooths over your bare stomach. The sweet warmth of it soothing any leftover pain that is still there until he cups over the soft fabric of your underwear and replaces it with an altogether different ache that has you squirming and squeezing your legs together.

His hand stills. "You want me to stop?"

"No!" you shout, louder than you intended or expected.

You clutch at his wrists to keep them on you. You're pretty sure that if Marc stopped touching you, you'd combust and die from frustration on the stop. Pretty sure that whatever the equivalent of blue balls is for ovaries is about to descend upon you.

"No, I just..." you flounder for a minute, not entirely sure what to say. Face warm as you say try to find the words. You don't know why the thought is so mortifying to you.

"I'm on my period." You manage to mutter out.

Marc cocks his head to the side, one eyebrow raised. He looks genuinely puzzled at what you've just told him. "I know...so?"

"It'll make a mess," you tell him, and you don't know how he's so casual about this. God knows your neat-freak of a boyfriend hates a mess. "I don't want to ick you out".

Ick him out? Why do you sound like a kid on the playground talking about cooties?

There's no worry in Marc's eyes as he observes you. None of the big round doe-like eyes of Steven. His eyes are narrowed, honed in on your face.

"Fuck the mess," he says.

There's a simmering heat in his voice as he says it that makes everything between your legs slick and achy as he leans even closer to you. "I want to make you feel better. You okay with that?"

You nod and the tip of his fingers skirts the edge of your panties before slipping inside. Despite your earlier embarrassment at the idea, your breath stutters with anticipation.

You're so fucking wet. Slick and hot, as his thumb presses down and has sharp electricity crackle down your spine. You find yourself spreading your legs wider for him, and Marc is more than happy to take it as an invitation.

Two fingers slide inside you, filling you perfectly, until you realize you feel a slickness trickle down the heel of Marc's hand.

"Fuck, Marc-- wait, it's--" you squeak in alarm as you feel it drip between your legs. "It's gonna get on the bed."

He doesn't stop, fingers continuing its languid pace on your clit, as he keeps stroking it to the pace of his liking. His mouth is on your neck, hot and humid as he murmurs into your skin.

"You really think a little blood is gonna keep me out of that pretty little pussy? Open up for me baby, let me take care of you."

And god...

You do. Of course you do, you'd do anything Marc asks and wants from you when he speaks to you in that tone and register. Your legs spread even further, tilting into his doting touch as he slides his fingers deeper.

Heat simmer all along the length of your spine, brandishing it with pleasure that has you struggling for breath.

His other hand comes to cup your face, while his fingers are still busy circling and gently strumming at your clit. He makes it seem so effortless as he does it.

There's no hesitation in his movements, two fingers bracketing your clit and he gently slides and teases you there that has that all familiar warmth already furling in your lower abdomen. Insistent and never rushed, you feel his fingers everywhere, until he brushes over something devastatingly good that has your vision go white for a brief moment.

"That's it baby, you're alright. So good for me, you don't have to think about anything else. All I need is for you to feel good. Come on my hand," his voice rasps in your ear.

Smooth and calming. Loving and commanding.

You don't stand a chance.

It's all it takes.

You drown in it, your climax claiming your limbs as the sensation streaks down your legs and wraps around your bones. You shake and jolt in his arms but he holds you there to him, not letting you pull away as you squirm away from the overstimulation and makes you ride the high against the palm of his reassuring hand.

He comforts you through it. All gentle caresses and soothing hushes as he presses his soft lips on your forehead.

"That's my good fucking girl."

Through the haze of your bliss, you reach for him. One finger hooking onto his belt to drag him closer.

You're too out of it to fully register what you're doing or properly express what you want. All you know is you want more of him. More of Marc. More of his sturdy firm weight on you. The warmth of his skin pressed against you. Of him, inside you.

"Want my cock baby?"

You nod, and much like before, Marc immediately complies.

He always does. Never does deny you of anything.

One hand comes to the front of his jeans, and you don't have to wait long for him as he pulls himself free of his jeans. Cock hard, and jutting up proudly that has you salivating at the sight of it.

Gripping his cock in one hand, Marc kneels over you, notching the fat tip against your entrance. The moment you feel him, you forget about any shred of hesitation you had just moments earlier about making a mess.

Because right now you don't care if you ruin Steven's sheets and leave a crime scene behind you. Every single thought in your mind has been replaced by the overarching need to have this man inside you.

He leans over, arms bracketing you in as he presses into you, stretching you, inch by perfect, beautiful, fucking, inch that has you seeing stars even in the daylight.

You feel him everywhere, every slow thrust and cant of his hips pressed so deeply into you, you're not sure you can breathe. You cling to every inch of him, legs wrapped around his waist, not wanting to let go but not sure you can take more of him either.

Full, you feel so fucking full.

"Too much?" Marc asks, eyes examining you, making sure you're alright.

You don't know how to answer him. It is a lot. So much, with all of him, every perfect inch of him filling you to capacity. It's too much and yet you want all of it and more. Want more and want him to never stop. So you tell him exactly that.

"No. Don't stop, don't stop," you beg. "Keep fucking me, please."

One big, warm hand settles low on your stomach, before it wanders, brushing teasingly through your folds and oh-so-gently over and around your clit until you think you might scream.

You bite down on your lip, worried that if you actually do scream, he'll stop out of worry. You squeeze your eyes tightly shut, trying to calm yourself but it only makes it all the more intense.

Behind closed eyes, the pleasure surges through your chest, and you can feel every careful and calculated movement that Marc makes as he slowly drags his cock out of you, until only the fat head rests inside you. Then he pushes back inside again, just as slow and it has tears stinging your eyes.

Slow and thorough. Deep and controlled. He's murmuring in your ear the whole time, his voice low and rough.

"Relax for me baby," he tells you, "I'm gonna take care of you like I always do. Fill your pretty pussy with my cock until you feel all better, okay?"

Better doesn't begin to describe it. You feel good. Feel so good you're overripe with pleasure that seems to be bursting along the seam of your skin.

The hand on your stomach, presses and holds you in place as you start to squirm against him to goad his fingers to where you need them.

But even when he complies, giving you what you like he always does, zeroing in on your clit, his caresses stay light and gentle. His thumb barely brushes over you, as he keeps the pace agonizingly slow and soft that have you shivering and shaking in his arms.

The taunting pleasure builds ever so slowly in your core. The light and teasing touches too much and not enough all at once, and your oversensitive, overwrought cunt clenches and flex endlessly, squeezing down around the thickness Marc’s cock.

You can feel his body jerk over yours each time, and you revel in the soft grunts and gasps you’re driving from him, because surely, surely now he’ll let go and fuck you fast and hard until you're crying.

But he still doesn’t. Doesn't lose control. Just presses gentle kisses to your shoulder, murmuring over and over again. "It’s okay, I got you, Going to make you feel so good".

He says it like a promise. As if he isn't already doing exactly that. He's making you feel so fucking good. So good that you can hardly stand it. So good that you're writhing in his arms, clutching and clawing at his arm and hand and wrist, not sure if you're trying to push him away or pull him closer. But it doesn't matter, he might as well be a stone statue for all the hope you have of moving him anywhere he doesn't want to you be yet.

You can feel the all too familiar tension in his body. Those strong thick thighs as hard as iron between yours. You swear you can feel the furious pounding of his heart where you're pressed back against his chest. Or maybe that's your own pulse pounding loud and frantic in your ears, but it doesn't matter, because you know he's close too.

"Fuck you feel so good," he murmurs into your skin and if you didn't know better you'd think he sounded shaky.

The pleasure builds, streaking up your torso in little lightning bolt pulses that tighten your nipples to achingly hard little points and steal the breath from your lungs.

The heat of Marc's body against you is unbearable, his hot breath and lips sliding over your shoulder, your neck, the curve of your jaw, and all the while, his fingers, those clever, competent fingers keep up their slow, ruinous circling, driving you higher inch by devastating inch.

You can't breathe anymore, can't see, can't think to the point you're pretty sure you can't feel your feet. Do you even have feet anymore? The only thing that's grounding you is the security of Marc's arms wrapped around you, the quiet cadence of his voice, whispering low and soft and still oh so sweet in your ear.

It's too much. Everything in you winding higher and tighter, filling you so full of pleasure that you swear you'll burst, but somehow still you don't. Can't. You need–

You clutch at Marc, gasp out a garbled sound that might be his name. You want to tell him that you can't stand it, that you need more, need all of him, everything that he has to give, but you've lost the ability to speak.

Instead, your body tells him for you, your cunt squeezing down around him, and refusing to let go. All of you drawn tight, tighter, tightest.

There's a breathless, "Oh. Baby. Fuck." in your ear, and Marc's hips jerk against you. Just once, the tiniest upward hitch. But it's enough. It's more than enough.

The unbearable, blissful tension holding your body hostage shatters, and wave after wave of unparalleled rapture roll though you, sharp and sweet and endless. The breath you didn't think you had left leaves you in a loud keening cry, that's echoed by a low, pained groan, and you can feel Marc's cock swell and pulse as he spills inside you, unable to resist the calling of your body's climax.

You ride out your orgasms together, your hips grinding needily into his, his fingers gripped harshly into your flesh, until the seemingly endless pleasure finally releases you both from its grip and you collapse back against Marc's solid bulk.

The arms around you relax, his clean hand smoothing over your belly and thighs. His voice hoarse and low, but still so, so syrupy sweet and gentle as he reassures you that you're okay, that he's got you, that he'll always be there when you need him.

You're boneless against him. Arms lying limply by your side on the damp mattress. Every bit of tension wrung out of you, like an old flannel that been wetted and twisted dry one too may times; worn out, but warm and cozy and relaxed.

"Feeling any better?" Marc asks eventually, arms tightening ever-so-subtly around you.

You don't have it in you to answer him with words, but you manage a small, contented giggle, snuggling back further into his embrace and tilting your head back to nuzzle his jaw.

That seems to be enough for him. He cranes his neck to press a soft kiss to your lips, then settles back, and the two of you stay there, cuddled together, warm and content and sated.

Content... just so fucking content, except...

Content is an understatement to what you're feeling wrapped in Marc's arms like this.

If you had to describe what your period felt like to an alien who had no understanding of human emotions this is how you might describe it:

Imagine snow falling outside and you are wrapped up safely in a heavy blanket around your tired limbs.

Imagine the smell of freshly made pancakes and coffee brewing (just the way you like it) in the morning after a hangover.

Imagine all of that combined and it still wouldn't even begin to do it any justice.

A/N: Thank you nonny for this ask, literally when you sent it I was having the period from actual hell and was in tears and wailing and crying in bed. This was a really nice escape to write this oneshot with TWP.

#oscar isaac #moon knight #marvel mcu #marc spector x you #marc spector x reader #moon knight fanfiction #moon knight fic #moon knight fanfic #marc spector #moon knight x reader #moon knight x you

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cuffmeinblack · 1 year

Text

Between the two of you

Sebastian Sallow x gn!reader

Tags: fluff | jealousy | misunderstandings | first kiss

3k words

Summary: Rewriting of the events of the Shadow of the Study/Discovery quests. Sebastian is jealous, paranoid and stupid, and definitely into you.

Sebastian stood in awe at the ornately decorated door in front of him, with the unmistakable serpentine detailing one would expect from Salazar Slytherin’s imagination. Y/N was talking to Ominis, trying to figure out the way forward, their low conspiratorial whispers were getting on his nerves as he tried to block out the conversation and concentrate on the problem in front of him, to no avail. Ominis had heard a voice, and Sebastian could see his mind working, putting together the clues. Of course the door could only be opened by a true descendant of Salazar Slytherin himself.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this," Ominis muttered.

The high hiss that erupted from Ominis' mouth filled the room, sending a shiver down his spine. Sebastian had heard Ominis speaking Parseltongue only a handful of times before, many years ago. They had encountered snakes whilst exploring the countryside around Feldcroft and Ominis had been able to converse with them, inviting the creatures along on their adventures. Only in the years of his adolescence did Ominis decide to stop using his ability, associating it only with dark wizards—Sebastian thought this a shame, and it irked him that Ominis wasted his inherited gift.

"Ominis, you possess a rare ability indeed," Y/N said, eyeing him in astonishment. The look she gave Ominis lingered, her mouth parting slightly. Sebastian felt his stomach lurch uncomfortably, a feeling he recognised as jealousy, though of what, he wasn't sure. He had no time to dwell on it.

"Between the two of you, I'm starting to feel left out," Sebastian muttered before he could stop himself.

"Between the two of us?" Ominis asked.

"I…never mind," Sebastian muttered, watching the two enter the newly revealed room. He shook his head and followed, banishing the intrusive thoughts for further evaluation later.

It was a full week after the events in the Scriptorium when Sebastian was reminded of the conversation. The days following the adventure (for lack of a better word) had been tense and full of a frantic need to push forward. He had studied Slytherin's spellbook during his limited free time, taking the tome to bed with him to pour over its pages before his eyes could no longer stay open. His search for answers to Anne's plight had so far proved fruitless and his mood soured with each progressive day.

Y/N had been spending more and more time outside of the castle and Ominis refused to help Sebastian after the events in the Scriptorium. Sebastian wasn't entirely unsympathetic, he knew of Ominis' deep aversion to the dark arts—but this was for Anne. All in all, Sebastian felt incredibly alone, and the late nights were beginning to take their toll.

When he'd returned from a late night of reading in the library, he'd spotted his friends in the common room, sitting on a sofa and talking. She had that glint in her eye again, the one Sebastian thought she'd only had for him. His chest tightened as he approached and she noticed him as he came into earshot, quickly ceasing their conversation and giving Sebastian a nervous smile. Sebastian returned the smile, trying to hide his suspicion that he had walked in on something private.

"How are you, Sebastian?" she asked.

"Fine," he replied, far too quickly. "You?"

"Well, thank you. I'm sorry I haven't been around much. Do you want some help with your research?"

Sebastian's irritation waned as he looked into her eyes and considered the kind offer. He nodded and sat opposite her in a plush armchair, his eyes flicking to Ominis who was yet to greet him, yet Sebastian swore he had the trace of a small smile on his lips. Irritating. What had they been talking about?

"Thanks, not tonight though. Will you be here tomorrow or are you off on another adventure?" he asked, trying to appear nonchalant.

"I can be here," she said softly.

The answer made Sebastian's stomach flip over as he smiled and leaned back in the chair, casually resting an ankle on the opposite knee.

"Anyway, I'm turning in now. Good night," she said with a yawn and a small wave.

Ominis and Sebastian said their farewells and Sebastian watched her leave, before turning to Ominis.

"So…," Sebastian started.

Ominis sighed. "I still don't want to talk about your research, Sebastian."

"Actually, I wanted to know what you two were talking about when I arrived," Sebastian said, rather more coldly than he'd anticipated.

Ominis cocked his head to one side. "Nothing, just idle chit chat."

Sebastian knew when Ominis was lying, and this was definitely one of those times. Either they had been talking about something private—and what did they have to talk about privately?—or, they were talking about Sebastian. Either way, he didn't like it. He knew Ominis wouldn't betray her confidence, and he didn't want to fight so he decided to let it go, just this once.

The following evening, Y/N kept her promise and followed him to the library after dinner where they settled into a quiet corner and pulled out the old spellbook. Sebastian flicked to the page he had read to, summarising what he'd found. They huddled around the book and lapsed into silence as they both read, Sebastian's eyes blurring as he struggled to concentrate on the text. He ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his eyes, willing himself to carry on, for Anne's sake. His eyes would drift to the hand placed above the book, idly tapping the wooden table, wondering what would happen if dared reach out and take it.

"You should rest, I can carry on and let you know if I find something?" she whispered.

Sebastian chastised himself for wasting the opportunity to spend time with her and progress his research further, but he was so tired from the late nights and poor sleep. His mind raced as he tried to drop off, always working on the problem.

Sebastian shook his head. "I'm sorry, I've not been sleeping well."

"Hmm. Well, I can help you with that," she said, standing up and nodding her head towards the door.

His interest piqued, Sebastian packed up the book and followed her, out of the library and along the winding hallways until they reached the Potions classroom. Sebastian raised an eyebrow in question and she put a finger to her lips in answer. She pushed the door open, peeking into the room before pulling him inside. Sebastian's heart thumped wildly at the touch and he had half a mind to draw her into a kiss, until she pulled her hand away and motioned to Professor Sharp's office.

"What are you doing?" he whispered.

She was already withdrawing her and pointing it at the door lock.

"Alohomora," she muttered, as the lock sprung open.

She rushed into the room, walking straight to the potions store cupboard and scanning the shelves for something.

"Aha," she said, pulling a small purple bottle from the top shelf.

She placed it in Sebastian's hand and he looked up at her smiling face, trying to remember what the familiar little potion was.

"Dreamless Sleep. You sounded like you need it," she said, brushing past him towards the door.

Sebastian huffed amusedly, turning the little bottle over in his hand and following her out of the room.

"You inspired me the day you helped me sneak into the restricted section," she said as they walked back to the common room.

"Glad to be such a bad influence," Sebastian said with a smirk.

A moment of silence passed as they watched each other, they were walking so close, their hands almost grazing. Sebastian's gaze dropped to her parting lips, when he remembered the moment in the Scriptorium when she had looked at Ominis in the same way.

Sebastian slept soundly that night and returned to his research with renewed vigor the following day. It was a Saturday, and instead of indulging in his usual pursuits of jaunts around Hogsmeade and general mischief about the castle, he buried his head in the spellbook in the library once again. Scribner had taken to eyeing him suspiciously whenever he entered the room, likely confused by his newfound studiousness. Around mid-afternoon, he found the answer he was looking for—the spellbook mentioned a lost relic which had the power to reverse dark magic curses. His heart thumped wildly as he read, his mind getting carried away with the possibilities. He felt one step closer to a cure for his sister—all he needed now was to find it, but first he needed to tell Y/N.

Tearing out of the library, he headed to the common room and searched frantically for signs of her, instead finding Ominis with a book on his lap, deep in concentration. Sebastian wanted to avoid any further conversation about the spellbook and what he had discovered with his best friend. The thought made him sad, that he felt he couldn't share such a remarkable discovery, but Ominis wouldn't understand—he was so staunchly against all forms of dark magic, seeing it as inherently evil rather than a necessary tool that Sebastian believed. Sebastian turned to leave, but it was too late.

"Sebastian," Ominis said.

Sebastian had no idea how Ominis knew he was there, he suspected Ominis knew him by scent.

"Ominis," he replied. "I was looking for Y/N."

"You've just missed her, I believe she went to see Imelda about a broom trial."

"I see. Were you with her all morning?"

Ominis gave Sebastian an irritatingly sly smile as he closed the book on his lap.

"Only a little while."

Sebastian wondered why his friend was being so vague, and the jealous lurch in his stomach returned once more. He decided to leave before saying something he'd regret, bidding Ominis goodbye and heading to the Quidditch pitch, hoping that she wasn't at one of the other courses outside of the school. He was in luck, as he approached on foot he saw her whizzing through the air between the hoops, all grace and elegance. Sebastian marvelled at her skilled flying, wondering how she had managed such a feat in such a short amount of time. She was incredible, and Sebastian felt thoroughly substandard and undeserving of her attention. Little wonder she had found an interest in Ominis, the descendant of Salazar Slytherin, heir to the old house of Gaunt and resident Parselmouth—they were extraordinary together.

Sebastian sighed as he settled onto a bench to watch, Imelda glaring at her from below on the pitch. As she came to land, she caught sight of Sebastian and broke into a wide smile, which he couldn't help but return. He waited patiently as she spoke to Imelda, who seemed infuriated, then made her way over to him.

"Nice flying. Imelda didn't seem too happy," he said.

"I don't think she appreciated me beating her time on my first try," she said with a small shrug. "What brings you here?"

"You. I have some news, if you have the time."

She nodded, and Sebastian rose from the bench, falling into step with one another as they walked across the grass towards the castle. They agreed to talk in the Undercroft, away from prying eyes and ears.

"I found what I was looking for. A cure for Anne," Sebastian said as soon as the door closed behind them.

She looked at him, stunned. Sebastian was bubbling over with enthusiasm and energy as the knowledge he had learned poured out of him.

"Evidently Slytherin encouraged teaching dark magic at Hogwarts, neither the Imperius or killing curse was unforgivable in his time. He believed students should be prepared to use dark magic when necessary, not to fear it. That's why we had to use Crucio to gain access to the Scriptorium. He didn't want his knowledge shared with anyone who was afraid of the power of dark magic."

"We did what we had to do," she agreed.

"And I'm glad we did. In the spellbook I found reference to a relic, with the power to reverse dark magic curses. I plan to search for this relic but I don't think we should tell anyone, especially Ominis. He wouldn't understand," he said.

She seemed to consider this, a slight frown on her face. She shuffled her feet and sighed, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of being secretive.

"We need to tell him. He's the reason we found the book and he deserves to know."

The reason? Sebastian thought that was a bit of a stretch. He'd been the one to cast the curse to open the final door, Ominis had only refused. If it were up to Ominis, they'd still be trapped in the Scriptorium.

"You've seen how he frets about the dark arts. I'll tell him when I've found the relic," Sebastian said shortly.

She looked taken aback and a little hurt, and Sebastian regretted his tone—his jealous hurt was getting the best of him, he needed to regain his composure.

"I'll let you know when I have more news," he said reassuringly. "And don't worry about Ominis, keeping this to ourselves for now is for his own good."

She relaxed and nodded, her eyes finding his as she dipped her head, looking through her eyelashes at him. Merlin, that look. Sebastian thought himself a charmer, he had a way with women and was usually self assured and some might say, cocky. But somehow, he found himself completely tongue-tied, and his pulse seemed to quicken as the look lingered on in the silence, neither of them wanting to break it.

"I'll decide what's for my own good."

The voice echoed in the room, startling Sebastian as he looked around frantically for the source. Ominis stepped out of the shadows, looking livid. Sebastian had forgotten how well Ominis could stay quiet, he was a master of staying hidden—something he learned at a young age for staying out of sight of his family. He'd heard everything, naturally. After a tense exchange, Sebastian cast another glance at Y/N, who was nervously watching Ominis, he strode out of the room and disappeared into the throng of the castle.

Sebastian sat next to Y/N in the common room, idly chewing on an apple as he mulled over all the information he knew about the relic he sought.

"We might be further along if Ominis would agree to help," he muttered bitterly.

The rift between them had grown over the past few days since the encounter in the Undercroft. Sebastian missed his friend, but their anger at each other's differing opinions just led to more arguments.

"Ominis is just worried about you, Sebastian," she said.

"There's nothing to worry about."

"I know, but…"

"Why do you always side with him? No, don't tell me, I don't want to know," Sebastian said, immediately regretting the words as they left his mouth.

"You don't want to know? I just think he has a right to be worried, given his past," she said tersely.

"Has he told you everything, then? I didn't realise you'd become so close, though I wondered what you were whispering about that day in the common room."

Sebastian looked at her, her beautiful face now one of anger, her eyebrows knitted together in a deep frown.

"You're wrong."

And with that, she was gone. Sebastian grimaced and shook his head at his own stupidity. The stress of his strained relationship with Ominis and the urgency of Anne's situation was getting to him, and he had taken it out on her—she didn't deserve that. He ran across the room and out of the door, taking the steps three at a time and almost toppling a first year over as he tore past. Where would she have gone? His mind raced as he touched on the possibilities, and landed on the most likely scenario. He hurried all the way to the seventh floor, trying to ignore the painful stabbing in his side, when he saw her marching along the corridor in front of him.

Sebastian called her name and bent over against the wall, trying to catch his breath. She turned and looked at him, surprised, her expression softening as she walked toward him.

"I'm…sorry," Sebastian gasped.

"Clearly," she said with a smile.

"I didn't mean to sound so…jealous," he said, straightening up.

"Why would you be jealous?" she asked, her head tilted to one side.

"You and Ominis. You're both so…extraordinary."

"And here you are searching for a way to cure your sister after being told it was impossible, unearthing Salazar Slytherin's secret Scriptorium, researching the answer to a lost relic. Don't think you're not extraordinary, Sebastian."

Sebastian's throat was dry as he took in her words, the tenderness completely unexpected.

"I believe in you, Sebastian," she said, almost a whisper, holding out her hand to find his.

Her skin was warm and soft and she stroked the back of his hand with her thumb, sending shivers up his spine. Sebastian had been wrong, he realised as he studied her face. The way she looked at him, he'd been an idiot not to see it.

Sebastian pulled her towards him and drew her into a kiss, placing a hand delicately behind head. Her lips pressed into his, small and soft, the perfect fit. His anger and stress seemed to melt away as they stood holding each other in the quiet corridor, her hand had tentatively made its way to his head and her fingers ran through his hair. She pulled away, smiling at him with a twinkle in her eyes. He returned the smile, tracing her swollen bottom lip with his thumb.

"Beautiful," he whispered.

#sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow imagine

2K notes · View notes

spatialwave · 1 month

Note

I can’t stop thinking about Angus with a childhood best friend!reader. (I imagine she would go to a different private school so they could only see each other over the summer and talk through letters and calls)

oh my god this is soooo good! you, my dear anon, have a beautiful mind. 🤍

𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐧𝐨 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐧𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐰.

notes: angus tully x fem!reader || 3.1k words || dividers by @cafekitsune

you and angus had been best friends since kindergarten, inseparable through hundreds of playdates from the ages of five to fifteen. you two were attached to the hip and anyone could see the bond that blossomed between the two of you. he was everything to you and you were everything to him.

you remember the first day you met, early november and a chilly day on the playground. you were bundled up with a big coat and mittens while poking and prodding at some flowers that were slowly dying—signalling the freezing weather that would arrive at any moment.

"my mom told me those kinds of flowers are weeds." a voice spoke from beside you, a boy your age with wildly, curly hair and big brown eyes. he wasn't looking at you, but at the wilting flower.

"pretty weeds," you murmured as your gaze turned back to the same flower.

"yup," he replied, the two of you kneeling there in silence as the school bell rang. neither of you moved until one of the teachers found you both and ushered you inside—you sat next to each other for the rest of the year; the history of your friendship.

angus was there when you were twelve years old and experienced your first adolescent heartbreak. a boy one year older who had kissed you and told you he loved you; then kissed one of your other so-called friends the same day with the same words. back then it shattered your entire being and angus was there to help you pick up the pieces and put your poor little heart back together until it was beating again.

and whenever he was feeling sad, which happened a lot after his dad was put in a sanitarium, you were there at his house with some popcorn and ready to watch whatever movie would air that evening. sometimes you two would listen to a record and simply exist together—being near each other made him feel better.

hell, he was even there when you got your first period when you were visiting his family. you remember how both of you started screaming when you told him you were bleeding, crying as you convinced yourself you were dying until his mom came to the rescue. she had to explain biology more thoroughly than your health teacher did, which only embarrassed you and made angus start asking a flurry of questions about it. from then on, once a month, he'd be there with whatever you needed; junk food, chocolate, and a hot water bottle.

your lives were so intertwined that you knew every little detail about each other. well, mostly. there was one moment that you kept from him in the vastness of your relationship, how his first kiss made you boil with jealousy.

you pushed that feeling far away and focused on the positives of your friendship as years passed and life slowly felt more and more complicated.

it was in your freshman year of high school when he first started acting out, even when you offered all the support you could muster up. he was kicked out of your school at fifteen, then another in the same year. the following year he almost made it the entire schooling term before he was finally sent off to a private boarding school—completely uprooted from the friendship you two had together.

that was your first real heartbreak.

his too.

angus beat himself up about it during the sleepless nights at barton, devastated that he couldn't even see you on weekends like he used to. knowing that you were in your senior year and he was lagging behind as a junior because of his expulsions. there was a drift happening in your friendship and it was because of him. all because he couldn't keep his emotions in check.

you couldn't blame him and you wouldn't, you made that apparent with the letters you sent him. making sure he never once felt alone in his struggles.

"𝙷𝚒 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚜,

𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕. 𝙼𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚂𝚌𝚘𝚝𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚜 𝚗𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚢 𝚊𝚜 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚕 𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢. 𝙳𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙿𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚊𝚛 𝚢𝚎𝚝? 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚊 𝚌𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚌𝚊𝚗, 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚖𝚎 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚊 𝙲+. 𝙸 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚝, 𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚂𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝙺𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝙲𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢?

𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝚈/𝙽."

it was these letters that kept him afloat during those days in the week that made him want to give up and run away, or worse, get expelled and sent to fork union. he kept every single letter from you and hid them underneath his mattress. if kountze were to see them that would be the end of it, so he made sure to read them only when everyone was asleep—he always had the best dreams after.

"𝙷𝚒, 𝚈/𝙽,

𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗'𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚢𝚎𝚝, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚏 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝙼𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚂𝚌𝚘𝚝𝚝, 𝚜𝚘 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙. 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝙾𝙺, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚏 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗. 𝙸 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚎𝚝 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚂𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝙺𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚜. 𝙼𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚠𝚎'𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊 𝚏𝚎𝚠 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚘 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛�� 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚘𝚗, 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜. 𝙸 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘𝚘.

𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚜."

hearing from him always made your stomach flutter and left your heart aching deeply for him. it was melancholic, wishing more than he could be back by your side while trying to be content with a letter from your love... your love?

those feelings had been building up inside you for months—years.

it left you awake at night, wondering if angus felt the same or if you would remain nothing more than friends for the rest of your life. you couldn't be upset with the latter, angus was your best friend and you would never let yourself lose that.

yet, you yearned for him. for the possibility of something more. you dreamt of what it would be like to kiss him, but those thoughts diminished quickly because you felt guilty. you shouldn't have those feelings for a boy who's only your best friend.

a few weeks had passed and you hadn't written a letter back because school was hectic and the gloominess of winter had left you with little energy. you and angus could sometimes go weeks without hearing from each other, but it was never intentional. it wasn't until your first night home during the christmas holidays that you realized you'd never written him back. you had only started scribbling a letter when the phone rang.

"it's angus!" your mother called from the kitchen on the first floor. that's when you remembered the promise he made in your letters. he'd be visiting soon!

"coming!" you called back as you rushed down the stairs so fast your mother had chastised you for nearly running your little brother over. you pressed the phone against your ear, lips curved into a big smile as you caught your breath, "angus, when are yo—"

"i won't be visiting," his voice said quietly, a bit crackly through the phone and deeper than you remembered it being when you last spoke. your brows furrowed together at his words and you were filled with nothing short of confusion and disappointment, hand clutching tight the phone in your hand as your other absently fidgeted with the cord.

"what do you mean? you promised me you would, angus." you said to him, your voice sharper than you meant for it to sound, "is saint kitts really that much more important?"

silence.

"my mom and stanley are going without me," he replied and it was then you could hear in his voice that he was fighting back tears. his heart was broken and you weren't there to pick up the pieces. you filled with dread and guilt for your snappy words, feeling the aching of his heart in your own.

"what?" you questioned, leaning back against the wall and tilting your head up, eyes fixating on the ceiling where you could see a water spot forming from the old piping in your home.

"yeah, they decided now was the fucking time to take their honeymoon. can you believe that? they ditched me and went to saint kitts without me and left me at barton," he said, his voice growing angrier with each passing second, "the worst part is that i didn't care about saint kitts, i just needed to see you," his voice cracked again.

tears pricked at your eyes and your mom, who had been eavesdropping, had decided to let you have privacy in the kitchen as she escorted your brother to the playroom. you sniffled and wiped away the tears with the sleeve of your sweater, shaking your head in disbelief.

"i miss you so much, angus, it physically hurts," you whimpered into the phone and it was then you couldn't help but start crying. the sounds made his heart ache.

"i know, i'm so sorry."

the two of you were only on the phone for a few more minutes because angus had heard one of the other holdovers coming down the hall. you didn't question it, a school full of boys meant that crying around others was asking for a death wish.

when all you could was hear the dial tone, a quiet 'i love you' escaped your lips.

pathetic.

four days passed and tomorrow was christmas eve; you'd never felt so empty in your entire life. you hadn't heard from angus since your last phone call and it was like all joy and happiness had been sucked out of your soul. your mother, who often liked to call you dramatic, didn't dare say a peep.

you had been laying in bed all morning, doing nothing except falling back asleep or staring out your bedroom window and watching a soft flurry of snow falling. you promised yourself to write angus a letter today, but you weren't entirely sure that you would be able to without breaking down and sobbing. your eyes were already puffy from crying yourself to sleep, you couldn't risk them hurting anymore.

"sweetie?" the voice came with a knock on your door. your mother, her voice as sweet as cinnamon. you didn't answer as the door creaked open.

"i'd like for you to come for a drive with me, if that's alright."

"no."

"i'm not leaving until you come with me."

"fine."

you were bundled up in a big coat as you sat in the passenger seat of your mother's station wagon, your forehead pressed against the window as you watched the snowfall. you hadn't really been paying much attention to where you two were going or how long you'd been driving, figuring that sooner or later your mother would pipe up and ask about you. this was always her way of understanding your emotions, it always worked. you always managed to spill your guts to her while in the passenger seat.

"do you love him?" she asked quietly, her eyes flickering toward you.

"what?" you became defensive, sitting upright and glaring daggers at her, "no. i mean yeah. of course i love him he's my best friend. just... nothing more. nothing like that!"

"so you do." she smiled, admiring you as she focused her attention back ahead, fingers gently tapping against the steering wheel as she hummed softly, "i'm taking you to barton."

"what?!" you screeched, your heart pounding hard in your chest, "you're telling me that now? you should've let me get ready! god, he's going to think i'm a mess!" you grumbled as you pulled down the visor and looked into the mirror, trying desperately to make your hair behave and wipe away the tiredness from your eyes.

"he's not going to care what you look like, darling." your mother said with a sigh.

"okay, well i care what i look like!"

"stop being so dramatic."

—

on the way to barton, your mother told you what she had planned behind your back, she called the school and managed to speak with a lady named miss lamb and explained the situation. according to your mother she sounded very excited that you would be visiting angus—it was likely that he was being just as pouty and sad as you were, if not more.

it made you wonder how lonely he'd been. should you have called more?

your hands were shaking as you pulled up to the school, your entire body nearly vibrating as you stepped out of the car and did one more fix on your hair. you were excited to see him, but why were you nervous? you had never been nervous about seeing him, why was this different?

an older woman who you could only presume was miss lamb greeted you at the main entrance, ushering you in quickly. you sighed softly when the cold air was no longer nipping at your skin, but instead, you were filled with that familiar feeling of nervousness once again.

"i think angus is up in one of the classrooms right now. he's been hiding himself away since he's been here with just me and mr. hunham. the poor boy got left behind here while the other boys were able to go spend the holidays at a ski hill," she said, glancing at you a few times as you followed her, fidgeting with your hands nervously. you hadn't realized until now that your mother had stayed in the foyer. miss lamb spoke up again, disturbing your thoughts, "he mentioned you the other day at dinner. was complaining to us about his situation and how he was supposed to visit his best friend... you know, i expected you to be a boy."

"yeah," you murmur as you ascend a staircase, "people always say that. a girl and a boy could never be just friends."

"mhm, it's hard for people to think that when they know what young love looks like," she hummed, avoiding your piercing gaze as she led you through the halls, "angus!" she called out as you two reached a hallway on the second floor, "where are you?"

"what do you need, mary?" his voice echoed from the last classroom on the right, his voice whiny and pouty.

you hadn’t moved so fast in your life. your legs picked up speed and mary turned the other way, satisfied with what she'd seen so far. she wasn't going to impose on a special moment. this was the happiest she'd felt in a long time, too.

"angus!" you called out as you sprinted ahead, nearly missing the door as you made a full stop under the door frame. you watched him as he turned his gaze, eyes moving from the window he'd been peering out of and over at you. you were blessed with the sight of seeing his big brown eyes soften and how a weight eased on his shoulders. he was gorgeous, the most beautiful man in the world and you weren’t going to leave barton until he knew that.

"what the hell are you doing here?" he asked, blinking a few times, as though he was hallucinating and afraid you weren't real, "christ–get over here."

he met you halfway as you bolted toward him, arms outstretched and wrapping around his waist as you buried your face into his chest. “i missed you so fucking much,” you whimpered, fingers tightening into fists as they gripped the back of his jacket. he smelled nice, like the cheap cologne you bought him last christmas; musk, cedar & notes of vanilla.

his own arms were around your shoulders, his face nuzzling against the top of your head as you two relished in each other’s presence.

it had been months. months that felt like a millennium.

“i missed you too,” he whispered against your hair, arms tightening around you briefly before easing up, “you look so pretty.”

you tilted your head back to look at him, your eyes glossy from the tears that spilled down your cheeks. you had parted your lips to say something back as your cheeks reddened from his compliment, but he didn’t give you the chance—rightly shutting you up with his lips.

it was then you fully understood how much you loved angus tully, less as a friend and more as a partner. a soulmate.

your lips moved together in desperation and need, kissing each other like you were lovers that had been separated for years. one of his hands had moved up to the back of your hair, fingers tangling, while the other gripped at your hip. both of your arms snaked around he neck, pulling him down so you didn’t have to stand on the tips of your toes to meet his lips.

this lasted for awhile, stopping only when you two had ran out of breath and were panting together.

“i love you,” you said first, your forehead pressing against angus’ as you looked deep into his brown eyes, “i’ve loved you for a very long time... too long.”

“me too,” he murmured in returned, the hand that was on your hip now caressing your cheek, his thumb gently grazing over your soft skin, “you’re the only reason it’s lonely here. seriously, i think i’m going mad without you,” he laughed breathily, bumping his nose playfully against yours.

“then i’ll make sure you don’t have to go without me too long,” your voice was soft as you spoke, unable to rid yourself of the big smile that plastered your lips, “maybe we can convince your teacher to let me stay for a night… or maybe you can spend christmas with us.”

“i want to go to boston with you,” he said quick, like he’d been waiting to say it.

you knew exactly what he meant. you knew everything about boston—you knew who was waiting in boston.

“okay,” you murmured, “let’s go to boston.”

you couldn’t promise that it would actually happen, how on earth would a chaperone let their student travel miles away to a city without them? you didn’t care about that right now. all you cared about was making sure that angus knew he had your support. that’s how being best friends worked.

you were there for each other. you were always going to help pick up each other’s pieces.

“kiss me again, angus.”

#angus tully #angus tully x reader #dominic sessa #the holdovers #angus tully fic #the holdovers fic #wordsbyspatial #spatialanswers

170 notes · View notes

bengiyo · 9 months

Text

The Knowing: Being Queer in BL

I’ve been talking about The Knowing a lot lately with @lurkingshan @waitmyturtles @ginnymoonbeam and @shortpplfedup and so I felt it was time to gather all those thoughts into one place.

I define The Knowing as “growing up and suffering with the knowledge that you are queer (specifically that you are not like other kids) and understanding that you must keep that knowledge to yourself.”

Part of what initially drew me to BL was how often many of these shows took place in what @absolutebl calls “The Bubble” where cultural and structural homophobia is less prevalent or nonexistent. Many of these stories are about guys learning something about themselves for the first time when it comes to being attracted to other men. However, I always find myself drawn to the characters that clearly Knew who they were a long time ago. What’s interesting about these characters is that many of them carry an intense sadness and loneliness that plagues them and their relationships.

I am in my mid-30s. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of language over the decades. When I first realized I was different from other kids I was eight years old. I was a lot like Chiron in Moonlight (2016) asking the question, “What’s a faggot?” I wish I’d had someone like Juan around to say, “A faggot is a word used to make gay people feel bad.” To which Chiron asked, “Am I a faggot?” and Juan quickly corrected. “Nah. You can be gay, but you ain’t gotta let nobody call you no faggot.” I know it’s hard for some of you to read slurs written out so plainly, but I grew up with them being part of the day-to-day language used by kids around me. If you instinctively recoiled at me typing the word four times, imagine experiencing that constantly for your entire adolescence while also fearing the consequences of being discovered by your peers. That’s what I survived. That’s what some of these boys survived.

Before I learned other words, I thought I was weird or broken. I knew I was drawn to boys before I even hit puberty, but I didn’t have language for existing on the ace-spectrum until I joined Tumblr in the early 2010s. Before that I just thought there was something wrong with me. When we see a character in BL who has clearly been gay for a long time, I find myself examining the environment around them to see if they suffered The Knowing.

The worst part of The Knowing is for the boys who can pass as straight if they try hard enough. I always talk about how I think femmes are stronger than those of us (like me) who can pass. They face the public scrutiny of being queer and the danger of that constantly. People like me often go unnoticed unless we’re amongst our peers or explicitly tell people who we are.

I’m writing this post as a love letter to the boys who suffered the Knowing. Sometimes these characters get a bad reputation in fandom for being boring or sad sacks, but they are the characters I love the most. I’d like to talk about some of my favorite boys who Knew. Unsurprisingly, the exact kind of melancholy Japan is willing to play with means they have strong presence on this list.

Korn (Until We Meet Again)

Korn is the character who began my discussion about this in a conversation with @wen-kexing-apologist about Kao’s acting. I pointed out that the saddest thing about Korn in Until We Meet Again is that he knew what he was going to do the entire time. The tragedy of UWMA is that Korn loved Intouch and let him in, and unfortunately learned that Intouch’s love couldn’t fix the horrors that plagued him. You can see it in Kao’s eyes for the entire show whenever we see the In and Korn flashbacks. He suffers under the weight of masculine expectation and crumbles.

The Entire Cast of What Did You Eat Yesterday?

WDYEY is all about characters who Knew. Kenji and Wataru may have been unable to pass and have chosen to accept who they are, but we know Wataru suffered for it because of his feelings about family. Shiro hid who he was for a very long time, and still hides it from most people. His trauma from The Knowing regularly threatens his relationship with Kenji. Kohinata also clearly knew who he was the entire time, and works diligently for the life he’s built for himself. So much of this show is about being gay in a world that does not value us.

Book, Christina, and Yok (Make It Right)

Book is actively victimized because of The Knowing. He left his previous school and doesn’t live with his family because he was outed by a past boyfriend, and is disowned after revenge porn of him is posted.

Both Chrstina and Yok are femme and cannot pass. Unlike many of the boys in this show figuring out who they are, they are trying to survive without losing themselves.

Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)

Li Ming has a gay uncle and still suffers The Knowing. He is hiding his attraction from everyone until he develops feelings for Heart.

Itou Akira (Life: Love on the Line)

We experienced the entire arc of this man’s life and how much The Knowing crushed him. This is probably the most The Knowing character on the list.

Oumi Mitsuru (Eternal Yesterday)

Oumi has such a frank expression of The Knowing and how much it hurts that he likes Koichi but feels like he can’t express it.

Takahashi Satoru (Koisenu Futari)

The man literally blogs about The Knowing, and it’s how Sakuko began to understand herself. He has a questionnaire prepared to help you figure out how long you’ve Known.

Ren (Tokyo in April Is…)

I wrote multiple posts about Ren and his experience with The Knowing. So much of what goes wrong for them is because Ren couldn’t believe that Kazuma could like him, too, and he knowingly faced the consequences of being discovered to save Kazuma’s life.

Pete (Love by Chance)

Pete knows who he is and can’t change it. Trump uses this against him. Pete doesn’t want Ae to be gay like him and suffer with the realities of being a Known Gay. Pete has one of the first coming out scenes in BL that I really enjoyed.

Cairo (Gameboys)

Cairo was clearly struggling with Knowing, and his close friend took his coming out from him. Cairo is a brat, but goddamn do I appreciate some of his angst.

See-eiw (My Only 12%)

He watched The Love of Siam (2007) and had a complete emotional breakdown as he was finally able to name his feelings for Cake. Top-tier expression of The Knowing.

Shin (3 Will Be Free)

I mean, we don’t have to look much further than his entire sad existence and being pushed into sex with a prostitute in the first episode. Also there’s, “It wasn’t that you didn’t like boys. You just didn’t like me.” Shin is the only boy in BL-adjacent media to suffer a specific version of The Knowing: being rejected and discarded by your own people in a homophobic way so they could stay closeted.

Phupha (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Phupha’s entire romantic angst is built around The Knowing and what others seeing him for who he is will do for him.

Pran (Bad Buddy)

Though Bad Buddy exists in The Bubble, Pran has one of the most painful versions of The Knowing I’ve ever experienced because his is wrapped up in family angst and an unrequited crush.

Lee Wan (Our Dating Sim)

Lee Wan suffered The Knowing and broke things with his best friend after confessing. The Knowing destroyed his ability to see a version of his life where he and Shin Kitae overcame the upcoming challenges together and so he takes that choice from Kitae. Crushing.

Ueda Minoru (Our Dining Table)

Minoru is so familiar with The Knowing that he preemptively breaks up with Yutaka after kissing him.

Kiyoi (My Beautiful Man)

The reveal that Kiyoi already knew who he was and noticed Hira the entire time? Beautiful. One of the best reveals in J-BL history.

Minato (Minato’s Laundromat)

This man is one of the sadder examples of The Knowing because he’s in a place where he understands who he is now, but the internalized homophobia cripples almost all of his romantic and closer relationships.

Han Baram (Sing My Crush)

This boy is suffering so much from The Knowing that his love confession song is literally titled “Letter of Apology.”

Oh-aew (I Told Sunset About You)

He Knew. “Are you proud of me?”

Noh Shinwoo and Shin Daon (Light On Me)

Noh Shinwoo clearly suffered The Knowing and was discovered. His bullies still plague him on the streets when they see him. Shin Daon was not surprised by his attraction to Woo Taekyung; he struggled with his parents expectations.

Nagisa (His: I Didn’t Mean to Fall in Love)

Nagisa definitely Knew who he was and was probably going to stay quiet about it until Shun showed up in his life. What upsets me so much about Nagisa is that he is the one who leaves Shun later in the movie after pulling queerness out of Shun.

The Secret Crush on You Quartet

All four of them get a spot on this list for The Knowing. Toh, Kaojao, and Daisy clearly suffered The Knowing, and Som has clearly taken care of them for a long time.

Rocky and Judah (Quaranthings)

I love that these two explore The Knowing from a class perspective. Judah is wealthier and eventually comes out, but Rocky is poor and struggles with it a lot longer.

Han Tae Joo and Kang Gook (Where Your Eyes Linger)

The Knowing, bodyguard edition. The yearning between the two of these is palpable. It hurts that they can’t even talk to each other about it.

Mafuyu (Given)

He Knew and lost his boyfriend to The Knowing.

Kim Dong Hee (Unintentional Love Story)

He won’t acknowledge Go Ho Tae’s feelings because he feels a sense of loyalty to Ho Tae’s mom for taking care of him after his parents disowned him over the gay thing. Huge case of The Knowing.

Edit: New Additions October 7, 2023.

Nekoyashiki Mamoru (Kabe-Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized)

He describes a textbook case of the Knowing and finding community at the convention.

Zo (Hidden Agenda)

He definitely Knew, and got messed over by his friends badly for it.

Yuuki (Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend)

We almost lost Yuuki to the Knowing.

All of the Eclipse Gays

Literally all of them. The entire show is about how fascism turns queer people into agents working against their own community.

Joe (The Warp Effect)

He clearly Knew before his encounter with Army, and he also suffered for being outed.

#Ben writes #The Knowing #too many shows to tag #what did you eat yesterday?#until we meet again #bl series #thai bl #japanese bl #korean bl #filipino bl

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sorrelchestnut · 8 months

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I think everything about Astarion is perfectly explained by the fact that he has siblings.

I mean, yes, centuries of torment and trauma, grasping at power to make himself feel safe, blah blah blah: that part was immediately obvious all the way back in EA. But he's also genuinely selfish and petty and spiteful, seeming to delight in people's miseries and sulk at their joys, in a way that doesn't come off as "traumatized sadboi" so much as "spiteful bitch." Which I enjoy tremendously as a character, don't get me wrong, but like. He does cackle in joy when you accidentally (or "accidentally") send that poor gnome flying into oblivion. He is not a nice person.

But! The second you learn that he has siblings, everything makes sense! He wasn't tragically wandering the halls of a big Evil Gothic Mansion alone with his master and tormentor; he was locked in a fucking dormitory with six other spawn of indeterminate age who are encouraged to compete and sabotage each other for Cazador's favor. (There were fucking bunk beds, y'all. Just imagine.) I spent years going to sleep-away camp for the summers and usually came back meaner and that was with dozens of counselors attempting to teach us the value of friendship; of fucking course Astarion is the most miserable, spiteful little bastard (un)alive.

Some of it is the very specific trope they used to write him: he's the very model of a regency rake, not the "dark powerful reformable bad boy" kind but the drawling, pissant little dandy fortune hunter, who ingratiates himself with the dowagers by way of his cutting tongue and seduces young ladies of means to live off their dowry. But the rest of it is very definitely the two centuries of social reinforcement by his equally miserable and hateful siblings. He's every mean girl from every teen movie who got that way by climbing to the top of the pack, allergic to sympathy and sincerity because any hint of it has been consistently mocked and punished and inflicting that mindset on others in turn.

As usual none of it actually excuses his bad behavior, blah blah blah I'm not interesting in legislating the crimes of fictional men, but it is excellent character writing. None of what I learned about him later ever contradicted any of my first impressions, only informed and enhanced. And it says a lot that he does grow so much more sympathetic and sincere by the end (if that's the example you set) because it really reinforces just how much he's influenced by his social circle. When he's surrounded by a pack of perpetually-adolescent squabbling murderchildren, he's... habitually unkind, let's just say. When he's away from that environment and rewarded with kindness and validation for behaving like a moderately functional adult, he finally gets a chance to prove that he just might actually be one.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #meta #baldur's gate 3 spoilers

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cursedvida · 7 months

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SAD EYES, BROKEN SMILE V (Buggy x f!Reader)

PART IV // PART VI

WARNINGS: Smut, Minors DNI please go away. I mean masturbation, dirty talk, vaginal fingering and a lot of +18 things babies.

N/A: From now to the end the series are starting to be very hot, sorry not sorry. But yeah porn with feelings.

The confrontation with the marines was not complicated, it was just a ship without a very powerful captain, so it was quite easy to finish them off. As everyone witnessed -part- of your skills, you decided not to hold back in a battle anymore. You didn't show your full potential either, just enough to get rid of a few cadets while leaving Buggy free to show off in front of the whole crew.

At the end of the battle, Buggy decides to celebrate the victory using the barrels you stole from the navy ship. Another party of many on Buggy's pirate ship, it almost seems like a habit to end up all drunk on beer and rum. You must admit you've never drunk so often before.

While the musicians begin to play a song and you hear the laughter of some of your crewmates, you feel that someone is watching you. Buggy has his eyes on you, those eyes that you like so much and that you have imagined looking at you that way a thousand times. You feel the lust and desire in them, which excites and overwhelms you in equal parts. Buggy pretends to listen to his subordinates while still paying attention to you, he takes a sip from his beer mug without taking his eyes off you. You watch him from the corner of your eye, not taking your mind off what has happened this morning: the wet taste of his mouth, his hands roaming your body, his fingers in places no other man has touched. You swallow saliva, you want him as much as he wants you, you feel a tightness in your chest too great, you feel like something inside you is going to explode.

You need some air, so you decide to withdraw for a moment, get away from the people. You go down to the cellars so you can breathe for a moment. You think that you are being unconscious, that you are getting too carried away. Who is this person non capable of thinking clearly? Since when do you let yourself be carried away by absurd desires and give up a mission on a whim? That's not you, you don't recognize yourself. You've never had time for that kind of nonsense, why is it different now? Why with him?

"Do you like to meet in this place?"

You recognize that voice instantly. As you look up there is Buggy, your captain, standing in front of you with his eyes bright from the contrast they make with the dim light in the room. You keep wondering what his face must look like without so much makeup, what his lips must taste like without the aftertaste of face paint. You lose your senses again and all the questions and reproaches you asked yourself earlier disappear.

"I thought you wouldn't remember" you say in a whisper "you were really drunk that night."

Buggy approaches you slowly, never taking his eyes off you. When he's at your level he lifts your chin gently with his fingers.

"Not that much" he admits, cocking a smile.

Your heart starts pounding at the thought of him maybe kissing you at a moment's notice. At times like this you wish your life had been otherwise, more normal, less violent. Then you could have had an ordinary adolescence, met some boys, had some experiences. So, at least now you wouldn't feel so ridiculous for not knowing how to react when a man calls out to you.

You look away, somewhat self-consciously.

"You fought very well today…" You comment shyly, radically changing the subject.

"I admit I went too far" he forces your chin to look back at him "but it's just that those suckers interrupted me at a very important moment, and I really can't stand that."

A nervous giggle escapes you. God, what a fool you are. You feel ashamed of yourself.

"Buggy, I…" You move closer to him, melting into an embrace. His smell makes you feel good, in a safe place.

The captain doesn't know how to react, after your hot encounter this morning he thought you were going to go on the lust attack without too much thought, but that embrace so warm, so intimate, has caught him totally off guard. Today he watched you fight, he watched with pleasure as you knocked out those navy pigs without ruffling your hair, it made him even hornier than he already was. But when you hug him like that, like someone holding on to an iron beam so as not to lose his balance, he realizes that maybe you were right and he was really underestimating your feelings. That maybe not a purely sexual attraction.

"I don't know what's wrong with you" you confess, hiding your face in his chest so you don't have to look him in the face "But you make me feel so silly."

"Well, that happens to a lot of people when they discover my incredible wit" he boasts, trying to take the intensity out of the situation.

"It's not because of that" you reply softly "it's just… I really like you a lot. I'm not playing games."

And he realizes then how vulnerable you are being in his arms. Your honesty about emotions is something that always catches him off guard but at the same time touches him. How can you be so insanely honest? Fuck, it feels like you're playing at leaving him unarmed.

"I want you so badly," you tell him in a whisper, and it unleashes all his most primal instincts.

Buggy lets out a sort of wild animal-like growl. You then notice how he lifts you into the air, sitting on one of the barrels in the hold. You are now almost at the same height. He looks you in the eyes again, his nose brushing yours.

"You're a dangerous little girl" he strokes your hair with an open hand and a certain paternal air "very dangerous."

At that moment you give him a gentle kiss on his nose. It's something you've wanted to do for a long time because, contrary to what he thinks, you don't find it horrible, but appetizing in a way. You don't know how he's going to react to such an action, but when his gaze changes, turning wild, you know you've pressed a button from which there's no turning back.

The next thing you know, Buggy has taken hold of your neck, kissing it, biting it, leaving a trail of red paint on your smooth skin. You've triggered his wild side, his hands are no longer as soft and slow as they were this morning, now they don't hesitate to strip off your shirt, leaving you in your bra. His mouth runs down your collarbones, down your chest and finally you notice how his tongue begins to slurp the top of your breasts. On the other hand, his hands run along your waist, down to your buttocks to remove the shorts you are wearing. Before you know it you are almost naked in front of him, noticing how your cheeks suddenly turn red.

You grab his hair, pulling off his hat and then his bandana to realize that his hair is actually longer than you imagined. Strands of blue hair falling over his face. You notice your cheeks red again, for some reason you find him more handsome than ever.

"Buggy, I've never…" you're embarrassed to even say it, seeing him so thrown. He looks at you, his pupils dilated with excitement "I've never… been like this with anyone."

The idea of being the first one able to go that far with you doesn't seem to disgust him, quite the opposite. There is a smirk on his face, he feels so full of himself. He knows that you are giving him a privilege that you have not wanted to bestow on anyone else, only him, which swells his pride considerably.

"Then I'll have to make sure you have a great time," he replies to you, mischief in his gaze.

He spreads your legs then and bends down slightly, removing your panties to expose the most intimate part of you. You notice your cheeks light up just before you feel your whole face burning. Buggy is kneeling, staring at your crotch with an almost famished expression.

"Don't do that, I'm embarrassed."

He lets out a laugh just before he approaches your wetness. That's when you gasp at the contact of his tongue with your intimacy. Buggy starts to move his tongue expertly, trying to find your clit, while you do your best not to lose your balance. One of your hands goes to his hair, while the other tries to hold on to the barrel. You feel totally vulnerable, exposed to this man who has decided to make of you whatever he wants because you let him. His tongue running along your pussy, finding that sensitive area that makes you let out a huge moan of pleasure.

"Mmm, there it is" he relishes, looking at you for a moment.

You watch him, panting, spread-eagled in an absolutely obscene position that, at the same time, excites you enormously. You love being at his mercy, moaning every time his tongue caresses your clitoris, sucking expertly as you let out sighs and sounds you never thought could come out of your mouth.

"Fuck little girl, it's fucking wonderful when you growl like that" he comments just before he starts eating you again.

You notice how he has pulled his hands away from your body. As he continues to lick your pussy, he removes his gloves in midair. His hands go to your back, unclasping your bra. You are now totally naked before him. Your breasts glisten in the light of the room, your nipples are erect and Buggy's hands begin to caress them, pinching them as his tongue works faster and faster.

You let out a cry of pleasure, you can't repress it, there are too many sensations at once.

Buggy makes one of his hands reconnect with your arm, pulls his face away and starts stroking you with one of his fingers. As he jerks you off, he sits up slightly, moving closer to you. His makeup is smudged. He gets close to your ear as he inserts one of his fingers into your vagina.

"You have no fucking idea how you have me right now" he comments, as you hold your breath as you feel him insert himself into your cavity "Fuck, gorgeous, you're so tight. I think we're going to have to do some work on this."

You hold onto his neck so you don't lose your balance as you feel his finger advance inside you. Buggy grabs your wrist, pulling your hand to his crotch. You can feel the huge bulge, hard and throbbing, noticeable under his pants.

"See?" he asks, staring at you before kissing you. His mouth is salty, tasting of your own fluids, something that manages to turn you on even more "That's how you got me. That's how you get me my little minx."

"Buggy…" you moan. Slipping your hand under his pants to touch his erect member. You've never done anything like this before, but instinctively you begin to move your hand, guided by the expressions of pleasure he puts on "Like this?"

"Perfect. Mmmm... good girl" he growls, sinking his head into your neck.

He pulls his finger out from inside you and starts stroking your clit while you do the same with his member. You both start moaning at the same time, Buggy looks at you then, notices your half-open mouth, your burning cheeks, your watering eyes. He revels in that virgin face discovering sex while you try your best to give him back all the pleasure he's giving you.

"You're a insane craziness" he whispers to you without taking his eyes off you "you're going to fuck my life".

You are not able to answer him anything, you notice that you are close to orgasm, each time the waves of pleasure are bigger and bigger.

"Buggy, I think… I think…"

"Hold on a little, baby girl. I'm almost there."

You try to hold back, biting your lower lip trying to stifle your moans. You wiggle his cock quickly, noticing how he gasps slightly. He wiggles his finger more as well. You both start moaning at the same time.

"I'm going to fucking cum" he gasps.

"Me too" you moan, almost unable to hold it in.

"Fuck!"

At that moment you notice how pleasure invades your whole body, rising from your lower belly to all your extremities. Your legs even tremble, you can't modulate your moans, you start to scream disconsolately as your body fills with spasms. You feel your vision blur for a few moments and, when you want to realize it, you are half dead on one of his arms while the hand holding his cock is completely stained. He has also cum and his face is resting on your tits, breathing heavily. You feel your heart racing.

"Fuck me" he sighs, looking up.

For some reason you see him looking more handsome than ever, more attractive than any other time. At that moment, if he asked you for anything, you'd go to hell itself. He gently pulls you up. With the hand that was holding you so you wouldn't fall, he pushes your hair away from your face. He smiles then, looking quite pleased.

"You're definitely going to ruin me."

And then he lets out a tremendous laugh.

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cringe--is--dead · 1 year

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Peaceful Paradise Interrupted

Type: One Shot

Gohan x Reader, Reader is the adopted daughter of Vegeta and Bulma

Summary: Your peace wasn't often challenged, but when someone came to earth to challenge your father and/or Goku, you end up more annoyed being in the middle of it than fearful.

Your life had settled into a routine, though after most of your childhood and adolescence, you weren't complaining. The structure gave you a peace of mind, minus the occasional extraterrestrial being hell-bent on revenge against your father or challenging Goku.

Those spats, at this rate, lasted a day at the most, an hour at the least. You hardly ever knew of them until after the issues were resolved.

Safe to say you enjoyed your peace, you enjoyed your routine, you enjoyed everything your life had become. Minus this.

The barrel of some weird, foreign gun looking at you had become your new common view. The alien man who had broken into your home, looking for one of the several (like five) Saiyan life forms, only to find you lazing around in your pajamas while attempting to finish some paper due for some class you were beginning to hate.

You craned your neck to peer around at him, studying him as he spoke into whatever communicator his people used, before speaking up, more annoyed than anything, "You realize how stupid this is right?"

He blanched, taken aback by the calm demeanor in which you spoke. He barked some orders before turning his full attention towards you, "Excuse me?"

You shrugged, "This was dumb of you to do." Your legs were beginning to cramp up under you, and you were at least grateful you had worn longer pants, "Haven't you even heard of what happens to people who come to earth looking for a fight?"

He sneered, "They end up choosing life forms far beneath them, yes, little lady, I've heard the stories."

Rude. "I'm just saying - "

"You are not the one I'm after."

"I kind of figured," He narrowed his eyes at you, pressing the gun closer towards your face, "I can't imagine I did anything wrong enough to piss you off."

"Do you know of the Saiyans Vegeta and Kakarot?"

"Hard to not know them," Your voice was dry, and you knew that after the scolding your mother would unleash on you, she'd have some pride in how you were keeping your cool.

"My readings had indicated that they had been here, though upon arrival, I only found you. What is a weak, earthling like you doing around two of the most powerful beings on this planet?"

"Don't let them hear you say that, my father's ego is large enough already."

His eyebrow, or where you would assume an eyebrow would be, twitched, "Your- your father?"

You hummed, introducing yourself casually, before sending a sarcastic smile, "Vegeta's oldest."

"Your power levels are far too weak to be - "

"Adopted," You could feel the energy before anything else, the feeling of your hair standing up on end alerting you that your fiancé had gotten the emergency signal sent to his phone, "But, still."

You braced yourself, the door launching open with the sounds of splintered wood falling all around. Gohan was standing in the doorframe, hair still black, but eyes livid. You glanced at the shocked man before you, if Gohan didn't feel the need to power up than this guy was weak- what had he been hoping to do?

You watched as your fiancé smiled, something cold and dark, a look that was so foreign to see on him. It sent chills down even your spine, "Hi," The cheeriness was forced, "Honey you didn't tell me we had guests."

"Surprise visitors." You glanced sadly at the remnants of the front door as Gohan walked inside, you'd have to ask Goku to fix it again.

The energy coming off of your fiancé was beyond suffocating, and the blaster fell from where it had been pointed at you, trembling in the alien's hand.

"W- Who are you?"

"I should be the one asking you that considering you're in my house." Your fiancé's anger was getting harder to hide, the smile bordering bloodthirsty.

You flexed your hands from where they were bound, sighing, catching his attention, "Please don't destroy anymore of the house."

Gohan didn't look away from the man, who was frantically trying to contact some of his men. You assumed they had all scattered- and odds are some ended up coming across your father and Goku.

They might fare better than this man was about to.

"Of course," You blinked and he was across the room, grabbing the man by the front of his tunic, before lifting him up, the gun dropping to the floor.

"Let's take this outside, shall we?"

Just as quickly as he had gotten across the room, your fiancé had taken the offending man outside, the sounds of shouting growing muffled as they left your home.

You sighed to yourself, twisting further as you remembered the self-defense classes your mother made you take. It felt almost pointless at the time- who was stupid enough to do something to piss off your family? But as you managed to free your sore wrists, you were grateful.

By the time you moved on to untying your legs, Gohan strolled back in, not a hair out of place. He smiled at you, moving to crouch down in front of you, softly batting your hands away to undo the rest.

"Are you alright?"

He paused, laughing softly at the question.

"I should be asking you that," The rope fell, and he helped you stand, hands moving softly across you, feeling and searching for any indicators that he should go out and end that man.

"I'm alright," You smiled, "You got here just in time."

Gohan nodded, eyes falling shut, and he leaned down, forehead pressing against yours. You remained quiet, letting him process everything.

"I was so scared when you sent me that signal," He spoke quietly, eyebrows furrowing as if reliving the moment, "I wasn't sure what to expect. And dad and Vegeta were already dealing with their own stuff at the moment."

"He didn't hurt me," You reached forward, pulling your fiancé closer, allowing him to burrow into you as best he could, "I think he was more confused than anything to find a human here."

Gohan laughed, a wet sound from the back of his throat, "Right. Not the terrifying Saiyan legends he was expecting."

"Just a human college student who probably would have hit him with a frying pan had I been in the kitchen," You glanced at the dishes laying in the sink- had you been closer you definitely would have.

"I assume the others are taken care of?"

Gohan nodded, "Dad and Vegeta are on their way here - "

The sound of your name being shouted outside alerted you that more company had arrived, and the sounds of an engine being killed let you know your mother had arrived with them.

You watched as Goku made his way to the front entrance of your house, peering down curiously at the broken door, hand rubbing the back of his head, "Aw man, I feel like I just fixed - "

He was interrupted by your father barging by, snarling an, "Out of the way Kakarot", before he made his way inside. You saw your mother trailing close behind, eyes wide and worried, hand clutched to her chest. Goku had enough smarts to step out of the way, moving to stand where you saw your brother and Goten in the yard, the later of the two poking the unconscious assailant with a stick.

"Oh, my baby! Are you hurt?" Gohan stepped back, hands up in defense as you shot him a glare.

Your mothers arms wrapped around you tightly, your ribs wincing at the strength of her hold, "I'm fine mom, he didn't do - "

"And this is why I still think you and Gohan should have taken one of the homes near us!" She huffed as she let you go, arms resting on your shoulders as she glared at you, no malice behind her eyes, "My security would have ensured that that man never even looked at you - "

"She moves back in and Gohan can go home with Kakarot, everyone's happy," Your father snarked, arms crossed over his chest.

"Vegeta," Your mother turned to glare at him, arms never leaving their place around you, jerking you forward with her.

"To be fair dad he was the one who got here first," You rolled your eyes as your father pointedly ignored this remark.

"Still - with the damages done I think it's best if you two come stay at home for now!"

"Mom, it's literally just the front door - "

"Perfect!" She squeezed you tighter- a warning not to argue.

You glanced helplessly at your fiancé, who only shrugged in response. The man who more than likely stopped himself from killing moments ago, fell powerless in the face of your overprotective mother.

#gohan x reader #dragon ball x reader #dragon ball z x reader #dragon ball super x reader #adopted reader #briefs!reader #gohan x briefs!reader #vegeta and reader #bulma and reader #vegeta x bulma

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mchib · 2 months

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‘We need more bipolar characters’

YOU COULDBNT EVEN HANDLE HIM

first of all i think this is common knowledge but he exhibits a complex and erratic personality which i think could potentially be interpreted as symptom of bipolar disorder - bipolar is a characterized by extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania) and lows (depression) - throughout the series and manga (i think the manga shows this better) mellos behavior fluctuates dramatically displaying periods of intense energy impulsivity and irritability which align with manic episodes,,. - in the manga mellos depicted as ambitious driven and sometimes reckless in his pursuit of catching Kira. he has a chronic case of impulsive decision making such as kidnapping poeple and hijacking a character showcases a lack of regard for consequences which is a hallmark trait of manic behavior - i also think mellos extreme emotional responses ranging from fits of rage to moments of despair mirror the intense mood swings characteristic of bipolar disorder. he also struggles with self esteem and identity also point towards bipolar disorder... individuals with bipolar disorder often experience fluctuations in self esteem oscillating between grandiosity during manic episodes and profound self doubt during depressive episodes - mellos constant comparison to near (who he he and only he sees as his rival) and his need to prove himself could stem from underlying insecurities exacerbated by his mood swings

him developing bipolar could totally be a normal trauma response from literally a lot of abuse that he has faced, most of the main characters from wammys house show no signs of like rebellion or outlandish behavior like he does but that doesnt necessarily mean that nothing happened and i think the author gave characters such as near and the other orphans way too much mental fortitude. bipolar can be developed at any age and its especially common between ages 15-19. not to mention other than it being genetic, theres a huge link between bipolar and childhood trauma. like imagine being groomed your whole childhood into this competitive environment with other 4 year olds to be the smartest toddler so u can substitute this crazy genius when he dies. and think of it like come on theres no chance all of these kids desperately wanted to be detectives when they grew up there was definitely like some sort of foul play. L is an exception obviously since the orphanage became abusive after he came and he was treated like a king basically while the other orphans mental state was completely disregarded because they were only brought in from several corners of the world solely to be his successor. in fact the first generation orphans were literally expected to kill themselves because of the pressure and A killing himself literally was not a shock at all to the orphanage in fact i suspect that a lot of the first generation orphans made to succeed L had a horrible mental state and also killed themselves which if you think about it B (which stood for backup) losing his mind was completely normal even if the way he went about challenging L was not. not to mention how he had to live with shinigami eyes but thats for another post lolol.,,, anyways yeah mello's behavior is actually justified when you think about how much of an abusive household he lived in even if its kind of obvious that the author disregarded coming up with an explanation for the orphans mental wellbeing and how it would have affected their adolescence except from the character of mello and even when they show mello they basically make him seem insane and watari like an angel . reading the la bb murder cases from mello's perspective really opened my eyes to like how it actually was in wammys house u can really understand it from his tone and stuff also with that one page hold on lemme find it

'but what if they could copy him? what if they could make a backup? that was us. L's children, gathered from all corners of the world. children gathered together, never told each other's names. but even for a genuis like watari, creating a fake L was easier said than done. even for near and i, who were said to be the closest to L... the more we tried to be like him, the closer we got, the farther away he was, like chasing a mirage. so i hardly need to tell you what it was like when wammy's house was first founded, when he was still experimenting. the first child, A, was unable to handle the pressure of living up to L and took his own life, and the second child, beyond birthday, was brilliand and deviant. B stood for Backup.'

'L was the goal of everyone in wammys house. everyone one of us wanted to surpass him. to step over him. to step on him. M did, N did and B did. M as a challenger, N as a successor. B as a criminal.'

sorry for my complete lack of spelling punctuation and grammar but i think i got my point across and also big thanks to @monards who helped me finish this draft by giving me the energy to continue and also encouraging my crippling death note addiction by feeding into it with questions and remarks like 'woah!' and 'eureka!'

#death note rant for my three followers :33 #i feel like i made sense #to some extent #i had to scroll on pinterest for a while to find a picture of mello where he doesnt look like hes a crack baby #why does he look like he was rolled around in 🌿 in his infancy #i love my wammy house kids #crack theory #crepe tag #death note #labb murder cases #beyond birthday #l lawliet #miheal keehl #mail jeevas #nate river

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lara-cairncross · 18 days

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Heey! First of all, I love your pixie au sm, I'm glad you're okay with us asking questions and stuff. I was a little unsure about asking

Anyway, I saw your last post with April and I had to ask, do you intend to show us what their first meeting was like? Like, have they known each other since April was a child? I suppose they were already that size since they were born that way, but what about April? Did she "kidnap" one of them like in the movie? If so, which one?

It would be so cute to see the others on a "rescue mission" for their brother. I was thinking about Donnie being the kidnapped one, maybe in a fight with Leo? Idk, but I would definitely love if Donnie and April had a moment together

I'm sorry for the long ask, hope it's okay :]

Happy to hear you love it 🥹🩵🩵

Uhhhh, eventually, yes! I would definitely like to write/draw out the boys' first meeting with April! I'm not sure how likely that'll be to actually happen, but I'd love to do it at some point :D

Yes, they've known each other since April was aboutttt eight maybe? And the boys were quite young for fairies too! I've changed D*sney Fairy canon a little bit by giving fairies more of an adolescent period, since I liked the idea of fairies being "raised" for a handful of years by the whole community until they learn the ins and outs of the world a bit more! Plus I wanted an excuse to draw the boys at slightly younger ages hehe

I'm not sure about the kidnapping arc, honestly? If it did happen, it would be a very short-lived affair lmao. The boys met April when they were still new enough to not really fear humans yet, so it wouldn't be much of a rescue mission-- more like, "Oh hey! You met a human!!! New friend?" from the other three turtles! They'd all think April was the coolest thing ever from the moment they met her :D

Donnie wouldn't be the one to be kidnapped, either. I was thinking Raph instead! He has a history of getting tangled up with a whole slew of dangerous animals because he finds every single one of them absolutely adorable-- I can imagine him doing the same when he sees April, and her accidentally "kidnapping" him because of her own fascination! Kind of a mutual big-sibling adoption process ❤️💚

#fairy au #rottmnt fairy au

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goldenchunkycat · 1 year

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First time with aged-up!Lo'ak

[I know some people don't feel comfortable reading smut about aged-up!Lo'ak so please don't read it, there's no need to comment :)

I thought about that all night long and decided that I would just give it a try, I'm probably not going to write others smut for Lo'ak, but I really wanted to write at least one because like I said before I think that it would be a nice experience, seeing that Lo'ak is really different from his brother.

Well... Enjoy I guess ?]

So it happens years after atwow events. The Sully family is still living with the Metkayinas. I think that with Lo'ak it would definitely be a 'best-friend to lovers' kind of situation. No matter if you are a human or an Omatikaya, you guys are best friend since childhood - if you're human you're probably the one who taught him the 'middle finger'. You, him, Kiri and Spider were menaces when you were younger. People often came to Jake to complain about your antics, you really had a great childhood.

Your dynamic what funny to others and they often asked themselves how you, who were shyyyyy, could be hanging out with someone like Lo'ak, let alone be his best-friend. They eventually get used to it.

Be friend with Lo'ak would be: tiring, exciting, sometimes annoying, but overall it would be a great experience to learn about yourself. He would always encourage you to do things that you don't usually do. The Iknimaya for example... But this is a story for another day.

When the sky people came back, you and Lo'ak were thirteen years old. Leaving your home, the forest, was devastating, but thanks to the other it was bearable. You were there for him when Lo'ak was being reprimanded by his father, he was there for you when he found you crying over the fact that people told you: 'No, you can't bring the Pa'li up here.' You guys could have pretended to be twins, people would have believed you.

Anyway ! When the Sully family said that they were leaving you made a hunger strike in order to go with them. You could not leave your best-friend like this, who was going to comfort him when he's mad. Eventually, they agreed. It was hard fitting in and learn the Metkayina's ways, but you still got the hang of it, faster than Lo'ak - he was mad when you teased him about it so you had to gave him 'private lessons' -he said, where this mf would just try to drown you. Well, fourteen yo Lo'ak wasn't the kindest. But he was still the nicest best friend ever. He often got into arguments with the Metkayinas teenagers because they picked on you. Then you two would make fun of them in the Marui.

"Fucking moron, telling you that you're ugly when his lips are nowhere to be seen."

"I swear that if they ever make fun of you again im gone beat them up. Again."

"No but have you seen his face you slapped him with your tail ?" "..." "An accident ? A good one, his face was fucking hilarious."

Those were the good times. Then the sky people came and destroyed everything. Luckily you guys were able to stay safe. But when Lo'ak almost lost his brother (Neteyam lives here, like come on...), he changed. Well, he tried, hard. Took him two years actually. It's Lo'ak, it was hard for him to associate a 'No' with 'I can't do that'. He was stubborn. Neytiri once told you that he was just like his father before. It was hard to believe, Jake was so... strict ? You ended up spending your adolescence living with the Metkayinas.

When you were eighteen, Lo'ak eventually asked you to be his girlfriend and, obviously, you said yes. Nothing changed between you two; he was still the funny and annoying friend you grew up with. You two were more comfortable with skinship and Lo'ak would always rub his relationship to his brother's face. But no one was surprised when you told them that you were going out, it was predictable, they were happy for you and his parents asked you to keep him safe. But who were you to prevent him from doing what he wanted. I don't know why but I imagine Lo'ak as a very romantic lover. Like, walking with his arm around you shoulder, resting his hand on your thigh whenever you two are sat next to each other.

"Do you- Maybe- Hanging out ? Going out...with me ?"

"I'm definitely going to tell Payakan that you are now my girlfriend. He's the one who encouraged me to ask you out." "..." "How ? Don't ask questions I can't answer."

Now the juicy part. Despite being together for one year you two actually did it when you were both nineteen years old. Your first time was...awkward. Cute but awkward. Like I said before he would want that to be something unforgettable so he would probably bring you to his favorite hidden area of a beach were everything glow during the eclipse. Once you're comfortable on that cover he brought, I think that Lo'ak wouldn't know what to do. Whee should he touch you first ? Is is alright if he lays his hand on your hips ? He would be so attentive to your needs. But you two would be two shy beans. It would give sub x sub vibes.

Now let's be REALISTIC, the prep would be rushed. Like, the boy really wants you to feel nice but you really don't know anything about the other's body. He would prep you and you would try to touch him. The boy would would come from feeling your mouth around his dick, you can't change my mind. Lot of apologizes later, he would make you cum with his fingers. Lot of praises and kisses from both of you. You two would be inexperienced so expect messy kisses with saliva and mistakes - like when he pulled your hair to hard of when you accidentally scratched his forearm while he was trying to finger you. Once he would be in your private part he would come IMMEDIATELY - don't worry about protection there's some Tsahik magic awaiting for you at the Tsahik's Marui. He would be mortified. But don't worry, one look at your pretty face, at your glowing freckles, at your glistening lips and at your twinkling eyes, full of love for him, would make him hard again. He would make you cum at the third attempt, pretty good nah ?

"I'm sorry, I came. Again. I'll do better."

"I can't help myself you're just so pretty..."

"I wouldn't have believed myself if I told the young me that we would b" together, I'm so lucky to have you in my life."

"Yeah ? I'm doing good ? You too baby."

You would spend the rest of the night looking at the glowing fish and the beautiful biodiversity while talking like to best friends and lover. But don't worry, you two are young adults, you will often disappear in order to sort out Lo'ak' little problem ♡ . Hormones.

Masterlist

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kwillow · 3 months

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People are too nice to me and send me so many intriguing and prescient questions and scenarios about my imaginary friends. Some of these I would have a hard time responding to with drawings, so I've gotta just use my words (SO MANY WORDS) instead!

So, for all interested parties, in response to those questions, here come some LORE RAMBLES: THEO EDITION.

Asks and answers under the cut!

Thank you! “Strange but interesting” is what I aim for with him.

I don’t think I’ve talked about Theo’s voice before! To be honest, I often struggle to imagine precisely what my character’s voices are; the qualities of my mental performance for them varies from day to day. Still, I think with Theo I can formulate a description of some kind.

I imagine his voice to be on the higher end for a man, though not exaggeratedly so, along the tenor range. He can deepen his pitch purposefully to sound more imposing or masculine, but his voice tends to rise in pitch further and further when he’s tense, like a violin string on the verge of snapping. He speaks clearly and distinctly, sometimes to the point of almost biting off the ends of words rather than having them sloppily run into each other, and only rarely uses contractions. His voice has a slight nasal quality to it at times. When he’s angry, a bit of a rattling growl can edge the end of his words.

When he was young, he was a terrible stutterer. He made a concerted effort to train himself out of stuttering in his adolescent years, but he will still lapse into r-ruh-ruh-repeating his syllables if anxiousness gets the better of him and makes him forget to swallow those extra sounds.

He is an expressive speaker, far more so than he’d prefer. Like his pitch varies, so too does his volume, and he can swing from speaking so softly as to be almost inaudible to screaming with all the volume his lungs can muster in a moment. His cadence is full of exaggerated pauses for effect mixed with swift traipses through less important words said simply for the music of reciting them to himself; his conversational tone sounds more like a performer going through a soliloquy than casual speech. In large part, that’s because he’s had more pleasant experiences with theater than conversation.

As many have noticed, he has also a vocal tic. He makes nasally sounds and guttural grunts and growls involuntarily, more often when he’s nervous or upset about something. As he gets older and his body is less able to shrug off the effects of his little smoking habit, he wheezes and coughs in the middle of his sentences as well.

For most settings, I imagine him speaking in a highly affected Transatlantic accent, but in Amaranthine (which is what I assume people are asking about and what I’m defaulting to for these answers), his accent might be more typically British posh-y, like Received Pronunciation. Or maybe not, I mean, it’s a funny animal fantasy setting, so he could have any accent I like. :P

If you want auditory examples, I think something mixing the high-pitched, sibilant, nasally breathiness of Peter Lorre with the refined yet expressive voice of Vincent Price would get you pretty close to what I imagine. To break from the classic horror actor category, you can also throw in this animated series’ depiction of Doctor Octopus to add the all-important ingredient of “nerd factor” to his voice, haha.

He’s a bookworm, yes, but that means he likes to learn! In his case, he’s also someone who enjoys mastering (or at least getting competent at) new skills and is extremely likely to learn to do something well just because someone thinks he can’t. He also has the benefit of being kicked out of school and extremely unemployed, so for most of his life he had lots and lots of free time to take on all manner of niche hobbies if he so desired!

His drive to learn a new skill is motivated by a combination of practicality, gentlemanliness, a need to know how to handle his own business to have as little outside interference as possible or simple intellectual curiosity (which itself is often a cover for boyish whimsy about Cool Stuff). To give examples of practical skills he taught himself: most people probably wouldn’t expect him to be a good cook, but he learned to do that because his family lost their household staff, and someone had to figure out how to cook beef – and because he wanted to take better care of his mother after she fell ill. He’s a great seamster because he wanted to make alterations to his clothes to better fit his unusual proportions without suffering the indignity of being prodded and measured by some nosy tailor. Where he lives, engines are extremely uncommon, being used only for agriculture if at all, but if Theo did own his own automobile, he would learn how to fix the thing himself as best as he could because he wouldn’t want some stranger poking around in his precious baby. He does know how to repair basic clockwork mechanisms, though! (Even if he won’t fix his own pocket watch for weird sentimental reasons.) He taught himself to be ambidextrous purely because he worried about losing a hand in a freak accident one day. He never wants to be caught unprepared or feel like he can’t handle something on his own if he needs to.

For skills in the “oh but if I could do this it would be so cool – I MEAN GENTLEMANLY” camp… yeah, actually, he does like to fence. He might not be able to hold his own all that well against a trained opponent, partly just because of his own physical limitations, but he knows the footwork and he certainly enjoys fighting stationary enemies while role-playing in his head as a knight. (He would be exceedingly embarrassed if anyone knew that part.) He can dance – but only as half a pair – and play the piano – or at least the chords his fingers can reach. He makes model ships and is familiar with all their parts even though he’s never seen the ocean. He knows a fair bit about women’s fashion and could probably help a lady pick a flattering dress for a gala… if she didn’t mind dressing about decade out of style. He’s a fine marksman, though that does overlap with “practical skills” when you live in a world with monsters creeping around on the edges of towns. And that’s not even getting into his self-taught anatomy lessons! But maybe we shouldn’t get into that, for the sake of our stomachs.

I could keep rambling, but to summarize, Theo lacks worldly experience, but he is a curious little guy and has all kinds of weird skills rattling around in his skull. You never know what he’s gonna know! Except for anything involving successfully interacting with other people. He’s never going to know how to do that.

Theo is the sort of person who enjoys collecting things, in that he is often captivated by the history and sentimental value of objects that catch his eye, likes to have a little hoard he can lord over like a dragon, doesn’t see value in minimalism and is loath to get rid of anything he owns.

However, he’s a homebody who rarely traveled far from his hometown of Northcrest, a small and remote barony, and his family (and therefore he) did not have the kind of financial situation that allowed for many frivolous expenditures. Therefore, he cannot regularly obtain new items for his collections because he would quickly exhaust everything that caught his eye in his own town, and he would be wary of spending his family’s dwindling funds on something that only served to satisfy his own whims. If he were in different circumstances, able and willing to travel more broadly and possessing the kind of wealth that allowed him to fully indulge his fascinations, I’d imagine he’d have quite the collection of art, weapons, antique books, clothing, and other fineries. As it stands, he only rarely adds a new object to his own collections, and he instead contents his inner dragon by attempting to maintain and catalogue the acquisitions made by past Norths that have accrued in their manor over the generations. Still… a toy store in his town has made quite a profit off him by having new model trains in stock around his birthday and holidays.

I don’t think he’d be terribly enthused with an insect collection, regrettably. At least not a live one. Preserved, exotic kinds might at least hold the intrigue of far-off places, but something more mundane (and wrigglier) would repulse him more than fascinate him.

I’m going to say somewhere along the line between “absolutely not” and “it’s complicated.” Theo obviously gets fulfillment from looking after the people he cares about, and in Amaranthine, he’s been in a caregiver role for so long he takes a certain amount of comfort in it. Even so, if he somehow knew people thought that he “wants” the people he’s close with to fall ill, or have chronic poor health, he’d be horrified. Theo’s not exactly the most hale and hearty fellow himself (and he’s also made his health notably worse through the years via his own actions, good job on that bud), so he knows first-hand how miserable frequent illness is. He wouldn’t want someone to suffer through that. Also, witnessing his mother’s slow decline and death was harrowing for him, and part of why he flings himself into caring for Hyden is that he doesn’t want to see something like that again and is doing all he can to keep Hyden stable. It brings him comfort, but the stress of feeling responsible for someone’s health – and the stress of only being able to manage their symptoms and never fix the problem – takes a toll on him, too, even if he wouldn’t say so.

So, he wouldn’t blame a sickly partner for their condition, and he’d be willing to care for them and want to help them, but I don’t think he’d ever say he “wants” someone he cares about to be sick. Would he nonetheless be more likely to get close to someone sick versus someone well? Well, maybe. Theo has a bit of a dependent streak, not in that he needs someone to dote on him, but that he doesn’t feel like he has any worth in a relationship unless he can provide protection or assistance. But someone could easily satisfy his need to be needed in other ways, too. Like someone being clumsy and needing their clothes mended regularly, or having a deadbeat husband they need murdered, you know, stuff like that.

He doesn’t know much, and never cared to ask much either, like you imagine. He mostly just knows they’re not nobility, they do have some mage ancestry and ability, and beyond that aren’t important (according to Jocosa). Besides, as a history nerd, he has little interest in learning about his father’s side when his mother’s side has biographies, tapestries, records of badges and achievements and personal spellbooks in such great measure that he couldn’t hope to go through them all in his lifetime. Does Leonard’s side of the family have even one tapestry? No? How dull.

For his part, Leonard isn’t close to or fond of most of his family and isn’t very candid about his past life before becoming successful, so he was amenable to not talking much about his childhood or ancestry. He would prefer if Jocosa was similar restrained and didn’t extoll the virtues and history of her bloodline constantly, but alas, no. One of the consequences of marrying into snotty nobility, I suppose.

Oh, you’re on to something there! :)

Now, with someone like Theo, whose brain is a Gordian knot of congealing gray matter basting in a cerebral soup of self-deception, neuroticism, and concentrated hatred, it’s hard to point to one thing as the sole cause for any of his many issues. At the same time, I don’t want to just dump the entirety of Theo’s issues with his family and how they impact him psychologically because I worry that I could write a thousand words about it and still have five thousand more in me, and we all have other things to do with our time than read all that. That said, to briefly (ha) touch on what you’ve mentioned…

Many of Theo’s problems with intimacy, with needing to feel useful, with fearing connections with others, and so on do stem from his troubled family history. At least some of his self-loathing is borne from him, at a glance, looking more like the man he most despises instead of being the same long, slim, elegant creatures that form the roots and branches of his mother’s family tree. Although, the irony in that is that all the “bad” genetics that cause him grief and suffering come from his mother’s side – but he alternately blames the cruel gods and himself for being a freak, not his mother or grandpa or any of his weaselly ancestors for that.

It’s also true to say that Theo’s self-sacrificing and self-effacing acts of kindness towards his mother and to others he cares for are done in part to make up for the fact of his own existence. The fact that his beloved mother had to couple with a disgusting, loathsome, degrading, unfaithful cur of a man (have I mentioned Theo really hates his dad yet?) in order to bear him weighs heavily on his mind and warps his self-concept. As much as Theo knows his mother loves him, he also knows – and despises – that he if he’s his mother’s son, he’s also his father’s spawn.

Jocosa doesn’t talk at length about her problems to Theo, or anyone – she wouldn’t want to make Theo feel responsible for her woes and she isn’t the kind of woman to whine about her life’s tribulations besides – but Theo isn’t so ignorant that he can’t pick up on the tension in other’s conversations, read meaning into words left unsaid, or work backwards from what he is told to deduce the rotten truth behind what little he’s told. He knows that everything involving his conception was hard for her, even if she doesn’t say it, and he feels he needs to do everything in his power to make up for the suffering bringing him into existence put her through. ...And I could go on but I think that’s enough to get the picture for now. Have I mentioned I can write a lot of words about Theo??

I think Hyden would know better than to say something like that – out loud. Hyden does try to push Theo into a personal valet role. But Theo has his limits and Hyden is smart enough to not press them (too much, right away). Being referred to as a kind of servant is one of those limits that really pisses him off and would be a one-way ticket to not getting any more pillow fluffing. Also, for as much as he helps Hyden with daily tasks and provides whatever dotage he feels is required of him as an apprentice, caregiver or host, there are tasks a manservant would be responsible for that Theo categorically refuses to do (even though Hyden wishes he would).

I am greatly amused by the thought of someone trying to get a flower crown on Theo. I can’t imagine it’d ever go much better than people trying to put shirts on their cats. He just really doesn’t like situations wherein Stimulus I Have No Control Over Is Happening To Me.

He does tend to flip from fury to (relative) calm depending on the circumstance and the source of annoyance, so you’re spot-on with the variable reactions he could have to a floral intrusion. I would say he isn’t likely to use “witch” as an insult for the same reason as he wouldn’t use “harpy” or “ice queen” as an insult, which is that any kind of derogatory comment his mother was ever called might as well be a compliment in his books. “Harlot” is completely fair game, though.

Thanks a bunch for the kind words on my weird rat guy. So happy you like him!

(Also “dark fantasy rose type flower” made me laugh. God. He’s such an edgelord. Emphasis on the “lord”, with a title and arms and everything.)

Glad you like seeing him! I guess one of the benefits of me not getting particularly exotic with the colors or markings on my furry designs is that you can find associations to actual animals like this! I hope your pet rat had a better temperament than Theo does, though.

…Which sounds a little stupid considering quite a lot of these answers involved me talking at length about Theo being sad and self-sacrificing and crap like that. I swear to God he’s a nasty little bitchboy most of the time. I need to draw him biting someone on the face or insulting someone for being poor or eating someone’s eyeball or something again to balance the scales here.

Note to self.

#WHO WANTS TO READ 2800 WORDS ABOUT THEO?? WAIT COME BACK #i wrote this joke about anonymous letters but actually looking at these -#like half of them were actually sent by people non-anonymously #YOU ARE ALL SO BRAVE #also sorry to those of you who sent in asks months or years ago who either are in this or are worse AREN'T...#i do have plans for the asks I get but well #timeliness is not one of my skills #my draws #doodles #asks #theo #amaranthine

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makabray · 3 months

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some postal dude gender headcanons since someone was interested hehe (i'm mostly talking about p2 here, but these could apply to any of the dudes probably)

trans postal dude is really fascinating to me cause i think he'd be quite a different character from a lot of modern trans rep. like, dude is a (relatively) older guy from from rural arizona, who was likely raised in a fairly conservative and religious household, so i think it's safe to assume that he wouldn't have access to much of the resources or terminology that we have now. growing up, he might've known a little about queer people from word of mouth and the few magazine articles he could find on the topic, but for the most part it was a lot of figuring things out on his own.

his adolescent years were really messy and all over the place, he definitely did a lot of experimentation during that time. a lot of sneaking out of his parent's house after dark to hang out in the back alleys with the other weirdos like him. during this time he was still closeted and figuring things, i don't think he really started presenting and identifying as a guy until his mid 20s when he moved away from his parents, and even then he had to go stealth. though keep in mind that's he's a broke bastard living in the middle of nowhere, so he had to DIY a lot of shit.

surgery of any kind is not an option, so that meant he had to work with what little he had. fortunately for him, he's able to pass fairly well with a sports bra, some rolled up socks, and baggy clothes. it's why he almost never takes off that huge trench coat he's always wearing, aside from it just generally being a source of comfort and pride for him. he also started taking hormones when he moved away from his parents, which i like to think uncle dave helped him acquire (albeit through dubiously legal means).

so maybe dude wouldn't make for "good" trans rep, but he's alive and himself against all odds and that's what i love about this headcanon

for dude, transitioning has its ups and downs. on one hand it's incredibly liberating to dress and act and be the way you've always wanted to, but on the other hand it can be quite lonely and difficult too. dude already has to constantly keep his guard up, constantly be vigilant of the people around him and how he's being perceived, but being one of the few queer people in a small town compounds that even further. plus i imagine that he probably has a lot of complicated feelings about his gender and sexuality that he doesn't really know what to do with on account of being really repressed and all that.

#postal #maka mumbles #i have more thoughts but this is getting really long so i'm gonna end it here #i have many hcs but this is one of my favs #it brings me a great deal of comfort as a queer person who spent a large portion of their life in the conservative south #i also have some art related to this hc i wanna clean up and post sometime... maybe Soon #SORRY IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE BTW its late and my brain is kinda scrambled #anyways. yea. i'll stop rambling now

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sarucane · 6 months

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OFMD Spiral Parallels 53: Ed's Suicidal Spiral

Intro: What I love most about how season 2 builds on season 1 of OFMD is the spiral narrative structure. Ground is repeatedly and explicitly re-trod from s1 to s2, but in s2 everything goes deeper than s1. Meanings are shuffled, emotions are stronger and truer, and transformation is showcased above everything. The first season plucks certain notes, and the second season plucks the same ones--but louder, alongside some new notes, and then weaves them all together to create a symphony.

---

"Shouldn't let go/ if I let go/ all will fall

Fingers bleeding/ down to the bone now...

hold on/ hold on/hold on"

Ed says those lyrics to Lucius in S1E10. And in S2E3, he falls.

In ep 10, Ed's song comes across as a fairly straightforward adolescent break-up song. But when Ed tells Lucius about the lyrics, he says the alternative to holding on is to "curl up into a ball and die." Ed's looking at living as a binary choice: one or the other, be strong or be dead. And in season 1, Ed thinks rather a lot about death.

But as Lucius points out: maybe letting go now won't be real death. Maybe being in pain isn't the only way to be. Maybe he can survive this pain that feels un-survivable. Maybe falling isn't death. Maybe this is all more complicated than he thinks.

Ed embraces this as best he can. Tries to believe it. He adds lyrics asking himself to let go. He embraces vulnerability, embraces a purely metaphorical death that breaks down the life and death binary ("life's a hard sad death"), and tries to move through this towards life "beginning again"--but this time a life on his own terms, the rebirth he's been seeking all along.

But then Izzy tells Ed what he really fears deep down: this is wrong. That actually, things do make sense, and there is a binary choice: he can be strong and hold on to Blackbeard--can hold onto Izzy, who will not change or accept change--or he can be worthless, and fall.

But accepting Izzy's worldview there means, right from the beginning, embracing death. Because as long as Ed's holding on like that, fingers bloody to the bone, all alone, he is going to fall. Sooner or later. And that's going to be death.

Because he isn't the kind of person who gets to be reborn.

For the next two episodes, Ed is torn between wanting to hold on to the pain that means strength...

...wanting to let go of everything...

...and wanting to believe there might, somehow, be another option than being a devil or a weak human. And yet, even then, all he can imagine is constant motion. Flying, forever, above everything that brings pain.

Unable to let go himself--still too conflicted and fearful of the reality of death with no hope of rebirth--and unable to fly forever, he sets out to be forced to let go.

And since he doesn't believe Lucius's advice about rebirth anymore, letting go means dying. He isolates himself until he's sure no one will try to make him hold on like Izzy did. He sets out to get himself into a situation where he isn't stronger. Where he can't hold on anymore.

And then he ends up in the gravy basket, and he's stuck alone with a version of himself he hates--and which has the power of life and death over him. And Hornigold tells him the ugliest truth Ed himself believes about what it means to be a human man: that in the big picture, there are only two choices. Anything else is just delay.

"Strength" or death. And Ed already knows he isn't strong enough to stop feeling, to just move on, to keep holding on. Worse than that, deep down he doesn't think someone like him is worthy of living.

Ed doesn't want to die, but he also doesn't believe a life after letting go is possible for him. And in the gravy basket, where the impossible is inevitable, he can make himself let go.

So, finally, Ed falls.

and falls.

But here's the thing: Ed was never as bad as he feared he was. He was never unworthy of rebirth. Holding onto strength was never in itself living, and falling was never in itself a death.

And not only is there someone waiting for him, there is in fact someone desperate to see him. Ed's core fear of worthlessness...

...the rock that drags him down and makes him fall in still waters, is wrong. Because sometimes life isn't strength: it's weakness. And that's where help comes in.

Underlying this entire binary of "strength or death," and even the possibility of being reborn, is the idea that Ed is alone in this. He doesn't ask Lucius for help, he just accepts it when it's offered--and even that was enough for him to want to kill Lucius later. He doesn't ask the crew for help, even when he's being his most open right after the breakup. All the help he seeks is connected to being killed. All the help he thinks he's worthy of--or feels safe enough to dare seeking--ends with death.

But when he's underwater and he hears Stede, Ed opens his mouth as if he's shouting--and the first finger that moves is his ring finger, knocking against the wood.

And just like that, Ed isn't holding on. He's being held.

By the person who first showed him that "hold onto this pain or die" was wrong.

And he isn't falling. He's floating.

The only binary that matters is literal life and death. Rebirth and transformation are bigger than that--and they're always possible, as long as living goes on.

Ed's let go of what he was holding onto. And now life begins again.

#ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd meta #ed teach #stede bonnet #blackbonnet

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thelunarfairy · 6 months

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Holaaa, First of all I want to tell you that I really like your account and your analysis💖Your points of view are very accurate and you give me my daily dose of hananene, so thank you 🫶

Now let's get to my question, it is not new that AidaIro makes "jokes" about Hanako harassing Nene, however this usually reaches strange limits, let's say, that Hanako tells Kou that he has touched Nene's breasts (clearly a lie) wanting to see up her skirt in a final comic of the Guardians of the Clock arc, hinting at her a lot, in another final mini comic he imagines what it would be like Nene if the water won't affect her (She would clearly be naked and he knows it) I even once saw a user of this app talking about how there is a fairly old mini panel drawn with a pencil in which Hanako wants to imitate a scene with Nene from the romantic movie Ghost (a scene that ends in something sexual) and the most famous imagen:

Clearly if you see this scene without having some context you are going to think badly, everyone thinks badly, the link I am leaving you is an analysis in which it is mentioned that eating and sex go hand in hand in the manga.

https://www.tumblr.com/theevilthatismokke/698270204867788800/the-myth-of-sumire-and-hakubo-jshk-chapter-94-and

And so we could continue talking about the many times that Hanako makes advances to Nene, to which I asked myself this, is Hanako sexually attracted to Nene? Maybe my question makes you uncomfortable, so if so, don't answer it :), even I feel bad and uncomfortable asking you this, I would just like to know your point of view, I also analyze these characters.

Many greetings from Mexico ☺️

Aww I'm the one who thanks you for your kindness, I'm very happy that you're enjoying my posts >.<

This answer was a little long, so I'm going to put fewer images to avoid making it twice as long, I'm going to rely on your memory on this one haha

Finally someone asked about this, and I'm immensely happy because it's a subject I've wanted to address for a long time. It turns out that I never really went into depth about it because I didn't know if people would feel uncomfortable.

JSHK has very strong and heavy themes, so I try to be cautious when talking about some things, even if I have theories about the topic. But to be honest, I'm thinking about talking to people about it.

Some of these themes are important to the main plot, and their analysis has a very important outcome for us to draw some conclusions about the characters' behavior, but anyway, returning to your question, let's talk about two of these themes, and one of the most controversial.

Hanako died at age thirteen, but he maintained his consciousness and physical presence for over fifty years. People still debate his mental age today, some say he has a mental age equivalent to the age he died, others say he already thinks like an adult.

Hanako has a duality, he will never be just "one" thing always, he is not just a good boy, but he is also not just a bad boy, I can spend hours exemplifying this, but that is not my intention, making it clear that this applies to most of the characters, so since we're talking about his mental age, this applies too.

He acts like a child, not like Tsukasa, but you still see him playing with toys or playing with other people, Hanako likes to have fun. He also has some childish thoughts about some things and does wrong things like a child. Tsuchigomori is sometimes seen teaching him things, as if he were responsible, like when the boy wanted to sell Tsuchigomori's objects without permission to buy a hat, the teacher teaches him that this is wrong and he understands.

We can clearly see that there is a very childish side to him, but at the same time he also has a more adult side. Let's consider him to be a side younger than an adult properly speaking. Hanako was thirteen years old so he was in puberty, about to leave pre-adolescence and enter adolescence. In fact, sexual desires are common and very latent at this age.

But, we are already talking about two topics, I will separate them so that we can better understand the connection that sex has with hunger.

Let's start by talking about sex.

Hanako clearly has strong and very latent sexual desires, this was made very clear from the beginning, what happens is that the "comic" side of the series leaves this as a situation that is supposed to be "funny" as if it were just a joke. It is common in works to see perverted characters being used as comic relief, but this does not apply to JSHK.

Hanako does indeed have latent desires, the way he acts, the way he behaves and the way he looks at Yashiro is almost always with a lot of desire. Just look at many panels of the manga, the way Hanako looks at Yashiro with desire, as if he was always about to kiss her, the way he is always touching, hugging, putting his arms around her, it's because there is a desire he tries to control.

The face he made when she was touching him

I talk more about his desire in this post here

Make no mistake, Hanako has actually touched her breasts a few times, I talk about that in this post here

Hanako doesn't just feel desire for Yashiro, he has a sexual desire that is natural to him, that is, this desire didn't start because of her. He always walks around or finds some suggestive items.

Erotic books (whether with girls in bikinis or magazines teaching what to do at "the right time" such as the magazine that teaches how to reach your girlfriend's G-spot)

Books teaching how to win someone over (like the one he used to help make Yashiro's wish come true) the book was very worn out, which means he read it very often. This indicates that he was wanting to learn to do it with someone (conquer someone).

The Kokeshi doll.

Let me tell you about this doll. There are some meanings behind it, such as the fact that it is used as an amulet to guarantee the protection of children, but at the same time the doll is also associated with sex and the sexual desire of boys, due to its shape.

On some Japanese sites I found it being linked to use for boys' sexual "relief", if you know what I mean. Not only does Hanako have a kokeshi doll, but he also thinks it's "Sexy." Again, people associated this moment where he says this as comic relief, but the signs are there.

See other examples

So, let's move on to the sexual desire he feels for Yashiro.

When Hanako was a child, he said that Yashiro was his type, that is, he had been attracted to her since that age (even though he was so young). When Nene met him again when he was older, the first thing Hanako did when they formed a bond was flirt with her, and he flirts very often.

His flirtations are different from those we usually see in other works. He always uses touch when he does, and Nene has noticed this to the point of claiming that he sexually harasses her. Do you see that Yashiro herself noticed this? At first Hanako had no criteria, he actually didn't care about touching her or imagining her naked, trying to look under her skirt or watching her take a shower (despite her turning into a fish).

And he didn't care because it was purely physical, he actually felt a strong sexual desire for her, even though she wasn't the only one. Yes, Hanako has also touched Aoi-chan, and even talked about the size of her breasts.

Then, Hanako falls in love with Nene and his way of acting subtly changes. We saw how he was reluctant to go after Yashiro when she went to take a shower with Sumire because he was afraid Yashiro would be mad at him. Do you think he would do this before? Hanako now has feelings for her, so he starts holding back.

Holding back is something that represents Hanako well.

And we see this all the time, the confirmation that he holds so much back came precisely in the chapter on the mokkes of the dead. Hanako doesn't have his normal consciousness, he's letting himself be carried away by his desire, in this case for sweets, but did you notice that he recognized Yashiro's voice when she called him? And the way he "attacks" her is different from the way he attacks Kou. We clearly see the sexual connotation here, Hanako's desire for Yashiro, and he pursues her until the end.

The way he "attacks" Yashiro

the way he attacks Kou

see his eyes of desire in this last panel

In this chapter we see that just by "relaxing" a little, he already tried to fulfill one of his own desires. Hanako already had several opportunities to kiss Yashiro but he was always holding back, he couldn't hold back any longer during their reunion because he hadn't seen her for a long time, because she risked her own life to see him, she saved him from Teru and She still confessed that she loved him. He couldn't hold back any longer and kissed her.

So, I've been thinking about this whole situation and whether Hanako would start putting pressure on Yashiro if they started dating. If Nene is his girlfriend, he'll be able to tease her, right? I was wondering if this possibility could happen and I started to think so after what happened between Hakubo and Sumire.

So, after an intense kiss between the two, would we see Hanako trying to touch Yashiro? Or even succeeding? Nene is not difficult to convince, and she must know that when she wanted to have a boyfriend, sex would be part of the relationship, the question is, how long could Hanako stay before he started wanting to consummate with her?

This is where I start to talk about the second theme, "hunger".

You sent me the link to a post (very good indeed) talking about the relationship between eating and sex, which are directly linked to JSHK, and it actually makes perfect sense. Aidairo made it very clear that this duality exists and the constant use of this metaphor.

That's because sex and hunger have one thing in common, desire

Everything in JSHK is about desire. Make wishes, fulfill wishes, always wishes.

Hunger and Sex are represented by the desire to obtain, to consume, to obtain something at will. Or are you going to tell me that you don't feel pleasure when you can eat delicious food when you're starving?

Eating is a word that actually has a sexual representation not only in JSHK but also throughout the world. I'll give you a personal example here.

In the country where I live (Brazil) the word "eating" is almost a synonym for sex, depending on the context in which you use it. If you say that you desire or want to "eat" someone, the person listening to you will SURELY understand that you are going to have sexual relations with the other person and that you will be the one who will be on top (active). So, if you come here haha, don't use that term because people will interpret it as being about sex.

I want to eat someone is the same thing that I want to have sex with someone. It's a very popular term even though a lot of people hate it (especially women).

I imagine that in other places in the world the word "eating" could be related to sex too, not just here in Brazil.

So back to JSHK, let's talk about hunger. We know that cannibalism is present in the work too, in addition to the extra arts in which the characters are represented as food or something like that.

We see Hakubo and Sumire's relationship, and we have to admit that the moment Hakubo went to "destroy" Sumire, he ate her. It was very obvious and very clear that it was a sex scene.

Obviously not in the most common way, but remember that Aidairo literally uses eating to represent sex itself. This is the most explicit example we have in the work (for now).

So let's move on to another topic, the way supernaturals relate to humans is different, of course it's different. Supernaturals like to devour humans and the way they deal with feelings is different but at the same time similar to that of humans.

Hakubo was a supernatural, he was born that way, and he reflected what was part of his nature. He did it the way he liked, he could have destroyed Sumire in any other way, but he chose to eat her, to consume her.

Do you know who is also a supernatural?

Hanako

Even though he was a human and understands better how relationships between humans work and that he can actually fall in love, he is still a supernatural.

Hanako is also hungry, and the whole time he is next to a kannagi girl, and he said that kannagis are delicious for supernaturals.

Hanako feels desire for Yashiro, he is a supernatural, she is a human with that title, with the blood that supernaturals desire. So, Hanako wants to eat Yashiro?

What if in the end Hanako has to "consume" Yashiro in the same way as Hakubo and Sumire? It's a possibility.

He has to stop himself from doing that. Which brings me to another point that people don't really like to think about

Hanako's relationship with Tsukasa.

Have you ever stopped to think? Tsukasa is Hanako's yorishiro, and if Nene doesn't remove Tsukasa's seal, will Hanako have to "eat" Tsukasa too?

Tsukasa seems to be looking forward to it.

What kind of relationship did these two have?

I won't delve into that now, let's get back to Nene and Hanako.

Their relationship is troubled, not only because he is supernatural and she is human, but also because of the way this relationship develops. There is a supernatural side to dealing with "love" and "desire" that we don't know about, but which is dangerous.

Hanako desires Yashiro in human form (sexual) and also in supernatural form (hunger), he wants her in the same way that Hakubo desired Sumire. Hakubo was supplying both, wasn't he?

It could be the same thing with Yashiro, it will depend on Hanako and how much he can control himself, which side of him will speak louder? the human side or the supernatural side?

This is the question he fears so much, he is afraid of his supernatural side, and the proof of this is the desire he has to remain sealed because he can control himself.

Hanako's human side wants to touch every part of Yashiro's body, wants to take her as a wife, wants to give and feel the purest pleasure with her, but the supernatural side actually wants to consume her, wants to devour her.

Which of these sides will be able to win in the end?

It's like I said, everything always begins and ends with a wish.

Hahaha the answer was longer than it should have been, sorry, but I loved finally being able to talk about it. There are a lot of things I think about these topics, but I'm still thinking about whether I'm going to talk about it or not, I need to know if the public is okay with it.

A big hug to Mexico from Brazil \o/

I hope you liked it, thanks for the ask! ♡

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dyushas · 5 months

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I return two months later with another people standing image but this time it's Younger Character Designs for the Wayfinder Trio, because I don't think they should look exactly the same for four years straight of their adolescence. So this is how I imagine them when Ven had only just arrived in the Land of Departure

Thought-process notes under the cut (mild spoilers ig):

Terra:

-I think Terra is a creature of habit and has been dressing mostly the same since at least puberty, especially since his style is the most like Eraqus' (in my opinion) and I think most people would copy their parents less as they get closer to adulthood instead of more, but what do I know? Idk what I'm even talking about half the time. It's ultimately vibes, I just think that's his brand of autism. But I had to do it at least a little differently to justify the drawing

-Obviously he is like four years younger or something here so he's not as good at things yet or he would've just taken the Mark of Mastery then, so he's got a wrist brace to show he has fucked up his wrist. To show he's still not good at things. I am very intelligent

-I didn't want to draw the full arm piece but I pretend it's because he hasn't worked his way up to handling that much extra weight on one side yet

-I think the red shirt and the patterns look nice so I also did that

-Aqua cut his hair and she isn't that good at it

-I think he's meant to have brown eyes

Aqua:

-She's got so many flowy bits in her canon outfit and I think it probably took her awhile to achieve the kind of control needed for those to not just be a hazard, so at this point she's a younger teen and she isn't there yet, but she can still afford to add a bit of flair

-I was looking at ballet warm-up clothes like those trash bag shorts cause she's got this dancer thing going on

-She and Terra have the same style of shirt because I thought it would be cute and emphasize their closeness as well as the fact that Ven is somewhat of an outsider here at this point

-She has a knee thing. She hurt her knee. She probably fell trying to figure out that fuckass twirl she does sometimes or something

-She cut her own hair but had Terra help with the back. Mistakes were made

-Terra's nails are painted, too, I just drew him with the wrong hand position to show it. The two of them have been the only other kids around for a good while so they hang out when they're supposed to be asleep sometimes to study their keyblade stuff and then get distracted with something silly and joke back and forth, and they paint each other's nails and share clothes sometimes, although this is getting harder cause they're less and less the same size. And then the next day, Eraqus has to tell them off because Aqua is mad Terra's hogging the bathroom and now they're at each other's throats. Just the way it is

Ventus:

-I can write off everyone looking the same in the flashbacks in BBS cause it was a PSP game and they'd already made a lot of new character models so like. I can think "it was just a practicality thing, they probably didn't actually look the same back then" but Ventus also has the same outfit in UX and I pretend I do not see it. There's no way. He needs something else, his skin is sticking to his clothes. It's just not right, it's not ethical, he's only a boy

-I let him keep the waistcoat though cause it feels SO UX era, everyone in that damn game has a little waistcoat and then no one (?) in the console games does. So my thought process is that this one thing is for SURE from tha past and he just keeps wearing it. He's a little vintage

-He has shorts because ummm :P

-Sora had shorts both as a little baby in BBS and a larger baby in KH1, and then as he's been depicted as less kiddish and more teenaged they have him in those cropped pants now. So it's a Sora parallel. Shorts are just the little boys garment

-"But what if his legs get cold?" Well clearly I thought of that

-He has no armor bits because at this point in time he's just been through a lot of trauma and has only just woken up from a mild coma (for him), so he's all kinds of unwell and I don't think he's really doing any proper training yet. Eraqus already kind of babied him in the main story, so he was probably truly swaddled back then. He's dressed for COMFORT

-This meant he also needed different shoes so I drew some. They're not very remarkable

-I gave him a little jacket because I tried drawing him just without one and I didn't like it, he didn't look enough like he spends his days skulking around and looking sad and not getting to hit things with his keyblade, so I gave him something haori-adjacent like it's maybe something Eraqus had lying around and let him wear like how my mom starts putting her jackets on me when she thinks I'm acting sick. But it has black and white checks on the sleeves because I had to put them SOMEWHERE or else it wouldn't be right and every other option I could think of sounded ugly

-I CAN'T EXPLAIN THE LEGWARMERS, I just wanted him to have a unique silhouette that makes him look like he's been sitting the fuck around

-He just has the same hair as he had in UX, which is his original hair but shorter

That's it unless I forgot something in which case you can ask and I may or may not have an answer.

I might also draw Vanitas in this time period even though I'd just give him the same outfit he always has since it's a magic outfit or whatever, but like for the sake of imagining him Small. Vote now on your phones if I should or not so I can disregard it and do whatever I feel like anyway

#kingdom hearts #kh terra #kh aqua #kh ventus #wayfinder trio #birth by sleep

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