Hey. Thank you so much for writing amazing stories. Do you ever consider writing more of Bite Marks. I just think that chapter 1 is one of the best first chapters you've ever written. Much love.

Hey. I'm definitely not opposed to writing more BM!!! and I definitely want/plan to have it finished some day!! I just have to find the motivation to do it (and also remember wtf was going to happen in the story lol).

much love to u too <3

So, now that we know the context that Lucy was doing better on the 5th and is worse again on the 6th, I want to go back to take a look at Renfield's behavior on the 4th-5th and see if we can extrapolate what Dracula's been up to.

There haven't been any anti-vampire methods taken yet, and contrary to media adaptations, van Helsing isn't some elite vampire hunter that the Count would recognize. And yet Renfield's behavior changed on the day of his arrival (the entry on the 4th specifies Renfield's midday outburst was 'yesterday')*. That was at the stroke of noon for Renfield; we don't know when the doctors visited Lucy exactly, but it was approximately lunchtime, since Mrs. Westenra "lunching out" was the reason she wasn't around. So it's possible the timings overlap. (I know the concepts of "lunch" and "dinner" have changed over time/place, but from what I'm aware of, it would have been around noon to one or so in the late 1800s.)

I don't think that there is really any in-universe reason for this coincidental timing. As already stated, they didn't do anything that could deter a vampire, and it's not like Dracula would be likely to have even known about their visit if he usually rests during the day. However, it is still interesting to notice that while Seward, van Helsing, and Lucy are gathered together and trying to be open with one another/learn more, at the same time Renfield is extremely distressed about vampirism being denied him. Then he calms down the next day when van Helsing has gone. If you were to assign any meaning to those particular characters' movements, I'd say it reflects how Dracula's power is greater when people are divided, and how the sharing of knowledge weakens him. But that's only symbolic, and doesn't quite line up with Lucy's continued health the next couple of days, so I don't put a ton of stock in it. Just wanted to note it briefly.

Anyways, Renfield calms down the next day at about 5pm. Of course, he's not really calm so much as resigned here. He decides that Dracula has deserted him and he has to resume his efforts with flies, etc. Seward's next entry is written at midnight, a significant hour, but is talking about something that happened at sunset (the irony of him writing at midnight and musing about the possible significance/influence of certain hours... if only he knew). Renfield has a view of the sunset from his window, and he once again starts yelling, only to quiet as the sun sinks down, even to the point of collapsing on the floor briefly. Then he recovers and is done with his flies, fully ready to rely on Dracula once more.

Put all together, it looks something like this:

2 September - Seward visits Lucy, and she's very ill. He sends for van Helsing.

3 September - at lunchtime, van Helsing and Seward meet with Lucy. At noon on the dot, Renfield's outburst begins, lasts five minutes, then he sinks into a sullen silence.* That night, Lucy's health is good.

4 September - At 5pm, Renfield gives up on Dracula. At sunset, he begins to yell again, then calms down and resumes placing his hopes in Dracula. That night, Lucy's health is good.

5 September - Seward reports that Lucy is fine during the day. Nothing from Renfield. That night, Lucy's health abruptly gets much worse.

6 September - Seward learns about the change in Lucy's health in the morning and sends the news to van Helsing and Arthur.

*This is contradicted in the same day by Seward saying "there may be a clue after all, if we can find why to-day his paroxysms came on at high noon and at sunset." at the end of his final entry. If so, then the line at the beginning of the day's entries was mistaken, and all the Renfield mood changes happened on the 4th.

The reason I like to assume Renfield's noontime despair hit on the 3rd is because it makes everything work better with the Lucy and Dracula timelines. During the entire time Renfield is distressed about being abandoned, Lucy remains undisturbed by Dracula. It's only on the night after he settles down that Dracula comes back for her. That said, it could still work if his events all happened on the 4th, just a bit less neatly.

I've speculated before about Renfield being more aligned to the supernatural world/time with his reactions to the moon. And here the trend seems to continue with his greatest distress beginning at the height of the day, and eventually calming after the sun has set. But the question of what prompts it is still there. Just looking at these times, I've got a suggestion...

What if Dracula left for a couple of days? Say, he left on the night of the 2rd and returns on the 4th after the sun has gone down? This would mean he didn't visit Lucy, and Renfield freaked out when the daytime hit the hour when vampires are weakest and Dracula still wasn't back in his chapel. (If Renfield's distress was all on the 4th then it would just have taken him longer to panic about the Count's absence.) As the night went by with no return of his Master, he decided he had been abandoned and decided to resume his solitary efforts. But Dracula did return as/just after the sun set on the 4th, and so Renfield calms down again. Dracula stays in that night. Then, the next night he resumes his typical schedule with a visit to Lucy's window.

Renfield's distress at sunset after he's been quiet throughout the day is a little harder to explain. Maybe, by giving up on Dracula, he's become slightly more aligned with the daytime/mundane world, and the sunset marking the vampire's return pulls him back to the nighttime/supernatural side of things in a way that is initially distressing or almost painful? At least until the sun is gone and his transition is complete. ...I dunno, I'm kinda spitballing here.

Anyways, if we do go with this assumption that Renfield's actions and Lucy's health reflect Dracula's absence from Carfax, it begs the question of where he went. I admittedly don't have any real answer on that. Perhaps he went to go visit his other London correspondents:

One of the letters was directed to Samuel F. Billington, No. 7, The Crescent, Whitby, another to Herr Leutner, Varna; the third was to Coutts & Co., London, and the fourth to Herren Klopstock & Billreuth, bankers, Buda-Pesth.

That might explain why he had to remain out during the day, if he had to meet with some people. Doesn't quite explain why he would have been gone multiple days though, or where he spent his vulnerable hours. If he wasn't able to rest properly while gone though, it could explain the way Lucy wasn't bothered on the night he returns (instead of drinking her he just napped hard for a night) and then her health takes such an abrupt dive the night after (he drinks a lot to get his energy up again). I guess my best suggestion is that...

(spoilers below)

Dracula was seeing to something involving some of the other properties he's bought. He isn't moving any boxes yet, and doesn't seem to be in a rush to move, but maybe he's beginning to get things set up. Doing property walkthroughs, that sort of thing?

Interesting. Welp, lots of thoughts about HSR 2.2 below.

Lots of thoughts so Ill start with a checklist.

Firefly: good so far. It doesnt seem like she hates her life being trapped in the SAM suit, and thats good. I was worried they were going to make her despise having to be Sam. Seems that she can survive for a while without the suit, which I find fine.

Now as long as they make her fight AS Sam and they wont really have screwed up anything with her. Not everyone needs to have superpowers. Let Firefly's powers come through Sam. She'll be a really unique character that way. Seriously, who else fights using a mechanical body armor like an anime Iron Man in a Hoyoverse game? I'd have no issues with Firefly then.

Well, except one thing, but I'll get to that later.

Now, the fucking plot twist? Holy shit. This really went from "that was kinda anticlimactic. We really went from "we do the cool thing" to "someone else does the cool thing" to "we pass out before we see the cool thing" like, really? Everythings solved and we're already ready to leave? We get on the train, have a chat with everyone, vote on where to go. And (presses hands together in front of my mouth) holy fucking shit.

My one issue is that I wish they actually ended the 2.2 story after the plot twist reveal. Of all the "cliffhangers" and "plot twists" they have tried to do, THIS WAS THE SPOT TO DO IT. THIS WAS IT. This was HUGE. Its in the third Penacony mission, so it would have avoided that thing with "oh yeah you totally wiped out the Herrscher of Dominance halfway through the second chapter" thing. Like, this is the end. We're done. We won and are leaving. In the 3rd story mission. This was THE moment to reveal the plot twist, just barely start it to not leave everyone confused, and then end it and save it for a 4th story mission in 2.3

But it was way too short. It was way too easy to just, get all the crucial pieces and solve the puzzle. We started Act 3 of the story and it only lasted like 20 minutes. It really could have done with SOME difficulty in getting all the important pieces to solve everything.

But we just learn about the plot twist, everyone important groups up, and we fight the final boss. Just like that.

Next on the list, Acheron! Or should I say, Raiden Mei? When that shadow asked for her name, I was PRAYING that Hoyo knew what they were doing, and they did! They didnt skimp out on it! Didnt go the whole "I have lost my memory of it" which would have been such a cop-out. But nope! They did it!

And the Honkai music? Fuck I had chills. And this is pure nostalgia of the best parts of HI3. Those parts were so good that you remember the music and the feelings you had with those notes.

I cant remember much of the music at the later stages of HI3. The story just hasnt grabbed me like chapters 5 to 25 did. (Hoyo should take notes of their own work, ngl)

Now... onto "Death"

"Death" might be the WORST character design I have ever seen. Not from the looks, but from their role in the story and how Hoyo uses it.

A shady character shows up, pulls out a gun, and shoots another character in the head. And later you tell me that that wasnt actually a murder? Bullshit. Get that garbage out of here.

And you know the worst part? ONE SCENE is what ruined "Death" for me.

Firefly's "Death" scene. Delete it. It ruins so much. She is the only one we see "Death" "killing". Why. She's not dead. Why did you show that "Death" "kills" like that? Who sat down and wrote that part? Literally just make us not see this scene and heavily imply that it killed her like they implied that "Death" killed everyone else and this would've been fine!

I can buy that Robin and Sunday are alive because we see neither of them dying. Robin is off-screen and Sunday is hidden from the camera.

But we saw a death when it killed Firefly.

Next time someone is shot in the head on screen I will be expecting it to be an imposter, a stunt actor, an illision, or WHATEVER ELSE. BECAUSE EVEN WHEN THEY SHOW DEATH THEY CHICKEN OUT. AND ALL THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF FIREFLY'S TRACES DISAPPEARED RIGHT BEFORE WE COULD SEE HER. WE COULD EVEN SEE "DEATH" SNEAKING AWAY AS WE ENTER THE ROOM. BUT DONT SHOW THE DEED BEING DONE.

...

Onto the final boss. ... Its... I mean, the boss fight is neat. Um, not sure if Hoyo now thinks that "big thing is intimidating" but this boss was just kinda, eh.

We've already defeated two big things with Cocolia's (now our) mecha, and then Phantylia. And now this sympthony thing.

Uh, Hoyo does know that big doesnt immediately equal "intimidating" or "scary" or "impressive", right? I just wanna be sure. Because this boss is none of that.

Uh the music also get a bit too pop-star-y? Its not bad, I just feel like it goes against the tone of what the story wanted this moment to feel like.

I also wish that Acheron actually did something to help in the end. She kinda just "eh well you can fight now. Me? Byeeeee~" I know that she had a glory moment in 2.1, but like, come on. Sunday just gives up fighting because we told him that people dream in order to wake up. Which doesnt sound philosophical enough to me to make Sunday have a freaking reality check and fall from the platform in shock and defeat.

Hoyo has really been trying to make so much of their stories in the Honkaiverse have a higher meaning and be a matter on philosophy, and then they keep asking why birds fly and I am so fucking tired of it.

Like, this is all they got and its not even a joke.

So, yeah. I kinda really wanted IX to show up and just, consume Penacony. That would've been cool and been decently foreshadowed. Could have had everyone go numb or like, whatever happens to us when we get close to IX in the Simulated Universe, and then have most people try to scramble to the ships to gtfo, and then have IX appear and consume the place.

But as long as we head to the Edo Star next, I'll be happy.

A place under attack by the Antimatter Legion and their distress signal recently went out? Send me there. Right now. Not even a question. I want to see the Antimatter Legion actually live up to what everyone has said about them. Dont fucking bait me on this Hoyo.

Oh yeah, another thing before I finish this!

Where are our ability to hear Stellarons? Did Hoyo forget that we can hear the voice of Stellarons? That is like, one of the most interesting parts about the Trailblazer!

Imagine a world where we get to Penacony in 2.0, and everything's fine and the same as it was. Except... we can hear the voice of a Stellaron. But, there's no signs of it. There's no Fragmentums. There's no sign of it at all. But we keep hearing its voice.

It could have slowly told us the story of Penacony over the course of these three patches so that we didn't have to get a history lesson before the climax of the story.

It would have easily added some mystery and questions while basically requiring no changes to the current story. Is there a Stellaron on Penacony, or are WE the only Stellaron on Penacony?

Speaking of the Stellaron inside of us... It has barely mattered after Belobog...

Hoyo... This should be a big deal throughout the story. Herta is shocked that a human body can host a Stellaron. We can hear the voices of other Stellarons. We could go nuclear if it goes out of control. Why has it not really mattered after Belobog? Hoyo, this isnt something you should just wave off like you have been doing with the Traveler's ability to wield 5 of the 7 elements. Dont make the same mistake twice.

This is dragging out, but I just keep remembering more things!

Hoyo, please dont tell me that you are unable to make long-term stories anymore. Everything has been self-contained recently. And sure, you've TRIED to make it feel like it has a larger impact, but in the end it always hasnt.

HI3 Part 1.5? It MIGHT be important later. I dunno if Vita has any importance at all to part 2 so far. All the regions in GI are basically self contained. You could take Mondstadt Traveler and toss them straight into Fontaine and you would basically not have to change them at all. All of HSR has also been rather self-contained. Happy that Dan didnt actually call the Luofu, that would have just made this all seem even more miniscule and also extremely convenient.

But... Remember when Himeko fucking died and the next 16 chapters was the fallout of that? Remember when we could have big story moments that still mattered for more than 3 months of real time?

Penacony's story is over, and I dont think that anything that happened here will have any impact on the next destination. Did we even actually pick up any new crewmembers?! Please tell me that the cowboy and Black Swan actually joins us for a while. You Chekhov's Gun'd it all the way back in Belobog!

So in short. I liked Penacony act 2 and 3 a lot. Not close to anything in HI3 chapters 5 to 25, but it was good. Could have been a lot better with (imo) rather small changes.

Also wtf is up with Hoyo's budget allocations? They put so much budget into the filler generic battle part of act 3. That was so much effort put into just filler. What's up with that?

Had our 3rd agility class (technically the 4th) and it was it actually good!

Did a pre class hike with Forte again and I feel like that's definitely the right move.

There were only 3 of us instead of 6 this week so we each got more time to actually train. The instructor was far less snappish. I think having more one on one time allowed them see each student is listening/applying feedback. I could be totally wrong but that's what it seemed like to me.

We crated the dogs in between turns and I think I'm the only student who liked this. Forte is very familiar with the crate in general but he's also super used to being in the crate while watching other dogs do things. For him it's a chill out cue and I think watching the other dogs perviously was loading him and contributed to him much more quickly tipping over threshold arousal wise. I wasn't initially pleased because it meant I wouldn't be able to train through that. But since it ultimately helped Forte keep his brains mostly in his head I'm for it.

On a side note, I think it gained me some favor with the instructor. It was very apparent that Forte is comfortable in the crate. At one point another dog was right at his door barking at him and Forte looked at me, I told him good boy, and he remained laying down. The instructor seemed impressed with how at ease he was and told me every Belgian they know would have blown up at that.

We did two jumps in a row in the ring to start and Forte did not zoom off at all. In fact I only had to recall him once because he automatically returned to me every other time. The one time he didn't he went to the instructor to get some love. They indulged him a little and said "he's really just a big, sweet baby" which is facts. I recalled him and he pranced over to me no issue.

Next we worked on the teeter and I think this is where Forte really stood out in a good way. He pivoted up onto the contact perfectly each time. The instructor adjusted how far down they were holding the end and after three reps let it be all the way up. Forte never hesitated when it moved underneath him nor was he bothered by the sound of it banging down. Also it made me really happy to hear the instructor tell the other two students that it's fine to take the teeter slow because it is a scary obstacle for most dogs. (I was first in the cue.)

Last we introduced weaves. Honestly I struggled more than any other dog or person. The instructor kept telling me to stand in the channel but the way the weaves (2 sets of 2 by 2s) were positioned it wasn't clear to me what that meant. The instructor ended up physically moving me to the right place. They did say "sorry, but you weren't getting it" and I responded "no, I wasn't so thank you for being more direct in showing me". I find vague directions, especially literal (like stand there then turn right etc) directions really hard to follow unless someone makes it clear where exactly I stand, when I turn, etc. I think they thought I'd be offended and were surprised when I wasn't.

At the end of class the instructor told me Forte is special and it's not just because they have a bias in favor of Belgians. They noted that he's very much a teenager but he has good foundations and that it's clear he's starting to understand what being here means.

Some notes I don't know where else to fit in:

I doubled down in my self appointed role as class cheerleader. I made it a point to compliment both my classmates on something specific after each of their turns. They didn't reciprocate but one did say thanks and that I made them feel better. So I'm definitely sticking with this.

For the teeter the instructor had me help the other two. I stood at the end of the teeter and rewarded the dogs for being fully on the contact and then led them off. It was a two person job for their dogs because both of them were nervous and needed help side loading on it and then being brought off in controlled way. The instructor mentioned that I was good at being an assistant.

I'm still not really enjoying this instructor's teaching style. But I do think the more we practice in this environment the more Forte is keeping his head. Also I'm not sure he actually enjoys agility just yet. But he does like learning new things and doing a team thing with me so I'm counting it as a win.

4 year old autistic toddler Lucian Munguia, still missing.

Update: FOUND!! 12/30/2022

Linked at the end of this blog

Forensic astrology/date missing chart wheel👇

When I found out about what happened to this boy I was instantly attached to this case. Bc I also have an autistic toddler and can't imagine how I'd feel if this happened to me... so here is my effort at trying to see what could of happened to this poor baby.

What happened?

I guess the father left lucian and his brother playing at the park while he went to change his daughter's diaper in the car nearby. When he got back lucian was no where to be seen, the last known location of lucian munguia was him alone walking away from the park on cctv. It's assumed that he was exploring and wandering around...

In criminal astrology the missing person is always ruled by the ascendant and co-ruled by the moon, for children the moon is the main ruler.

So in lucians case the moon was in pisces in the 1st house.. what's crazy to me is that the last seen footage of lucian was him walking alone. He was not taken or anything like that atleast not on the video, he willingly left and wandered off by himself.

The pisces moon here to me represents someone kind of being in a dream like, imaginative, creative state of mind and in the 1st house is literally him being adventurous and bold, alone. Maybe at the time he disappeared, he could of been distracted by something.. it could be that he's been to that park many times before and got bored so he started wandering off. I feel like he was just taking in everything, observing his surroundings, the trees and everything in front of him. Autistic children are not reckless, depending on how severe/not severe... his mom said he does speak and can tell you what he wants. So he def was able to understand things, my toddler is the same way. Autistic children like this are very careful and they will try to beware of possible falls or anything that could hurt them. But accidents do happen

Position of the planets on the date missing:

Something to note is that the moon was pretty close to transiting into aries, not only that but the ascendant is in Pisces as well as neptune. Moon is conjuncting neptune and close to the ascendant.

Lucian munguia is the moon, the sign of the moon is in Pisces so now we look to neptune since that is the planetary ruler of Pisces. To me this is not a good sign, he could of slipped and fell into a body of water or drugged or got lost. Let's take a look at the houses and aspects tho..

This is just my interpretation, and I'm mostly just brainstorming and leaving myself some "sticky notes" so when I look back at this I have some clues to go off of. If you see anything I don't please lmk.

House placements/asc/aspects:

(Click to zoom)

Mars in the 3rd house: Could of got hit by a car while traveling. Maybe hit his head.

2nd house in taurus: Sad to say this and I hope I'm wrong but someone, a stranger could have seen him as a person of value, he could of been snatched/possessed. (Animals? Taurus, bull) uranus is also in the 2nd house so unexpected loss or gains? What was valuable to lucian at this time was gathering things to make himself be secure, he was lost in an unknown place so maybe he was trying to find shelter.

8th house in scorpio: Trafficked possibly?

3H + 4H in gemini: neighborhood, siblings.

4th in house gemini, end of the matter: Could be in a car or was hit by a car and placed somewhere else a short distance away. Maybe the surroundings of the location of lucian is in a busy, heavy traffic place, lots of communication/connections around. In a chaotic, messy area.

Something that also comes to my attention is that the dad, who was changing his daughter's diaper couldn't have been gone for long or not keeping his eye on lucian for longer than 5 minutes, unless he was just that neglectful. But if he was gone for just a minute or so then lucian couldn't have gone that far? So he could be either nearby, which I heard they checked everywhere for him so I'm not sure about that.

With moon conjunct neptune maybe he's in the water, maybe he was contaminated in some way? He could of started to feel ill/sick/vulnerable, extra sensitive to his surroundings. Maybe he slipped on something and fell into the water. There is geese around and apparently poop everywhere so he could have slipped on that. At this time lucian would have been very mentally confused and lost, so there could be no logical reasoning for what could of happened.

Another possibility is someone from the party is responsible for him going missing. Maybe multiple people are involved.

I went to Google maps to see what the area looks like and I came across these comments above.. not a good sign at all, the most recent homeless activity was 4 months ago so that could be a possible danger. I can def see that happening with all the neptune in lucians chart.

Neptune=drugs, gasses, alcohol, delusion, misty, contamination, shady characters, fish, animals.

If this is a possibility then and if homeless people have campsights around the area and know the area well, they would know exactly where to hide someone or keep themselves hidden. Since the end of the matter is in gemini then there is no question that he's somewhere close by, I'm just not sure exactly where.

It's a large park with lots of activities around so he could be hidden somewhere, easily overlooked bc there's a lot going on. There's a Walmart nearby so that tells me this isn't in the middle of nowhere and there's people/cars coming in and out of the area constantly.

There's mixed comments about the conditions of the park, some say it's very clean and others say it's very dirty and run down..

Since the 3rd house + 4th are both in gemini could it be possible that he's in an abandoned car? Or even trail.

Moon conjunct neptune: Deep imagination, defenseless, trying to identify with things he knows or familiar with, having fun exploring.

Neptune conjunct ascendant: He was visibly lost, distant towards others, possibly walking near corners.

Moon conjunct jupiter: He was walking far distances, to an unfamiliar place, big imagination, maybe his mindset at the time was that he could do anything and had unlimited possibilities in that moment. Maybe a large area of land

Moon conjunct ascendant: There was a party going on at the park, where he went missing from.. to me, I could be wrong but the moon conjunct ascendant is lucian alone but it was also obvious to others (strangers) maybe someone with bad intentions could tell that he was lost and alone, young, in need of help.

I put a question mark in my interpretation of this aspect in the screenshot bc I'm not sure what it could mean, there's a lot of conjunctions I'm seeing.

Sun opposite ascendant: He could be out of sight, hidden. Opposite direction from where he was expected to be found.

Sun opposite moon: Found in an unexpected place. The sun could also be the perpetrator, if there is one. So the perpetrator would be represented by the Sun in Virgo.

When there is exact aspects to the victims ruler that's a sign that another person is involved.

Neptune square MC: Public/searchers/law enforcement confused, victim in a hard to reach/hidden area.

Moon square MC: the public/searches/law enforcement will have a hard time finding lucian..lack of support, evidence, uncomfortable place.

Moon sextile pluto: He could be somewhere deep

Location where lucian was last seen + astro chart map:

Here is the location 111 S 18th St, Yakima, WA 98901 if you want to see street view on Google maps, I recommend that to get a better idea of the place.

Here I have mapped all the possible locations, each one shows the most significant planets imo that I converted from degrees to distance.

The park where he was last seen is right in the middle, the starting point for all the lines.

You can see on the top half, the ascendant line, moon line and neptune line are all super close together. Looks like they are behind buildings? I looked them up, the building closest to the park is a truck stop production area and the building further up is a hotel..those are probably the most important lines

The mars line is also important bc I realized it is right in the 4th house, the end of the matter. Doesn't look like there's much there so idk. There has been reports that there's dangerous people on Yakima Greenway area, gangs, assaults and homeless people.. if a child were to wander off it would be very unsafe place to be.

The pluto line is at a car dealership area.

The MC line is closest to Walmart, it's the white building at the bottom corner by Chalmers rd.

Sun line is in the water.

I highlighted the direction he was seen walking, it's not exact but it should be close. They said he was heading south east towards the bodies of water, so that would be towards the bottom of this map above. Further down is the Yakima river and another large body of water.

The sun line should be going directly through the Buchanan lake.. I'll be back with more maps and info soon

Update:

So sad.. he was found underwater, all that was left was his skeleton and that's what they have confirmed to be his remains. Poor baby, it was worrying me so much what could of happened to this sweet boy. I'm so sorry lucian, I'm glad your family and all of us are able to have closure now.

I left up all my interpretations, some of them were off but I did mention he could of slipped under water (in between the sun and venus line is where he was found).

Astrology is amazing. What's interesting as I'm looking at the chart of the day lucians remains were identified, mars gemini 9°15 is now in retrograde closely conjuncting where mars was in the 1st chart (day he went missing) and jupiter is now direct in aries 1°03, coming out of retrograde closely conjunct where jupiter was.

That's crazy to me, it's becoming very clear that retrogrades play important roles in cases like this.. as I mentioned in jolissas chart reading. Please go check hers out if you haven't. For now that's all I've got, thank you for reading.

RIP Lucian mungia🩶

✨️Nine Of Pentacles✨️

Being a fan of crossovers, this movie was pretty exciting for me to check out. Definitely didn't disappoint!

Lupin the III vs Detective Conan: The Movie is sort of one I wasn't sure how to feel about since I think I've only watched maybe one season of Lupin and it was definitely one of the more "modern" seasons.

That said, while I knew what to expect considering I do at least know the general direction the series takes, I feel it's fair to warn people who aren't familiar with the series to tread lightly.

To sum it up, it's, well, raunchy. There's sex jokes and lots of seeing women in provocative ways (especially Fujiko, my god that woman is the poster girl of extremely sexual women, even in this movie). Tons of cleavage. A bathing scene. It's very adult. Haha.

Which normally isn't a problem, but...I wasn't too fond of the fact Haibara got dragged into it. I just think when you're discussing certain things about the woman body and it's addressed toward a child (regardless of how old she is mentally) it feels a little wrong. Especially with an adult implyingly getting handsy with said child while making said comment.

So just...keep that in mind if you're like me and you're a little put off by it.

The humor of the series was a very good addition to this movie. I really do enjoy some of the gags of the Lupin series and it certainly delivered in this movie.

The characters were all really fun. I think my favorites were Jigan and Inspector Zenigatta.

I love Conan and Jigan's little playful banter of "being father and son". It was very precious.

By the way, there was a tv special before this one (Same name, just doesn't have "the movie" added on in the title). I would highly recommend watching it first as it provides a lot of context for the movie. Not to mention they do bring up some things from the tv special in the movie.

That said, you CAN watch the movie without the context. It's not like it's hard to follow otherwise.

I also want to say that Satou was an absolute delight in this movie. I love how she's willing to admit Lupin was her first childhood crush, but has no issues taking him down. She's hilarious and I just really enjoyed her in this movie. I kind of wish there could've been more of her.

It's rather funny to me as well that you can easily pick out which designer was doing which of the background and side characters. Like, I do think the Lupin series and Detective Conan mesh pretty well, but there are VERY MUCH artistic differences between the two that can be spotted at a glance.

Now before I add this to the rankings, I would like to note I'm not going to add a movie number to it since technically "Dimensional Sniper" is considered the 18th movie. But since this one came out after the last one, I figured I'd watch and write a little something up.

1.) The Raven Chaser (13th Movie)

2.) The Fourteenth Target (2nd Movie)

3.) The Lost Ship in the Sky (14th Movie)

4.) The Time Bombed Skyscraper (1st Movie)

5.) Magician of the Silver Sky (8th Movie)

6.) Captured in Her Eyes (4th Movie)

7.) Crossroad in the Ancient Capital (7th Movie)/Lupin the III vs. Detective Conan: The Movie

8.) Quarter of Silence (15th Movie)

9.) The Phantom of Baker Street (6th Movie)

10.) Countdown to Heaven (5th Movie)

11.) Strategy Above the Depths (9th Movie)

12.) The Private Eyes' Requiem (10th Movie)

13.) Full Score of Fear (12th Movie)

14.) The Eleventh Striker (16th Movie)

15.) The Wizard of the Last Century (3rd Movie)

16.) Jolly Roger in the Deep Azure (11th Movie)

17.) Private Eye in the Distant Sea (17th Movie)

Perhaps it doesn't make a lot of sense, but for some reason, it just feels best to give it tie status with another movie. It could just be laziness on my part so as not to have to fix the numbers, but I kind of feel like this is the way to go.

Especially since it feels almost like an unofficial official part of the Detective Conan Movie saga.

I don't really expect anyone to know what I'm talking about, I already know how confusing I must sound.

Either way, ending notes, great movie! Highly recommend when you just want a fun watch to give you a few laughs

7/5/23

Oh it's even more dead than it was Monday, I guess everyone is all partied out. I'm not cuz I didn't do shit for the 4th. Though right now I feel a bit nauseous cuz I haven't eaten yet today. Last night was bad cuz of my period but I had that sick gut feeling that something bad was happening. Nothing came of it that I'm aware of, but it's been months since I felt it. So it was kinda startling. I know I blabbed on about how I'm not into other worldly shit, but IDK, my guy usually isn't wrong with that exact feeling of pure dread. It's been a few months since we've seen (Friend), rationally I know he's fine but that fight was absolutely brutal. If we had both just kept our cool [Friend] wouldn't have had to do what he did. It's scary watching someone fall like that. Don't fucking make that joke about the situation, oh my god why would I think that? Probably because it is a little funny with context. Let's just say that [friend] is good at pushing people out of his space like that. At least I made that joke now and not the minute after like {friend} did. Though she was being completely genuine saying it was a " Mario 64 moment" and it's funny bc she wasn't wrong tbh. Aside from my regulars who said that they'd be here today I really don't think I'm gonna have anyone today. Which is good cuz I don't feel good. Am I scared? I've been dreading seeing the security guard again, he left me alone Monday but I still have the whole summer ahead of me. I can't let my paranoia get the better of me I have to get mad and stay mad and stand up for myself. I mean that's what I told myself the last time I needed to confront someone who could physically harm me, and then I just froze. I always freeze. It's instinctual and it's dangerous. It's not logical for my body to think if I just stay still and stay quiet nothing bad will happen to me. Off topic but I'm wondering if I'm autistic again. And I feel bad cuz before when I was wondering out loud it probably sounded like I didn't want it/not open to the idea of having it/ thought it was bad/ ect when really I was just worried that if I was wrong id be invading that space on accident. But there's a lot of things about myself I'm cross examining with other autistic people that are making me think so. I know I'm feeling a hell of a lot better now that I've stopped masking a lot of things (though yelling in the middle of the city while vocal stimming might've been too much that one time) Paul Mccartney what the fuck are you doing here? Man it's only been an hour. Don't know why I'm surprised this usually only takes one hour. The lot is kinda filling up now. I should put my sunscreen on. Anyways right, Autism. Lots of things I did when I was younger kinda point to it; even though I was checked twice I don't think either count. The first one was in the 2-3rd grade and they were mainly focused on me just not falling behind, they didn't care about behavioral things bc I was a kid they thought I'd grow out of it. The other was primarily to get my ADHD diagnosis, he wasn't looking for Autism. So yes I fully believe I should get re-tested, no stupid online quizzes, I need an actual doctor who preferably has autism themselves to help me find out. I need to make a list of traits I've noticed so I can remember what to tell them.

Notes: Can people stop leaving thier cars running near me? It's already hot as shit today.

- I wanna steal that pretty green car over there, it would be easy the windows are down. It's probably a standard tho.

- Punch buggy dreams slightly restored, second time around it's easy to drive.

Alright then, to take it from the top... here’s some things I’ve done here or there for this dang game, from oldest to newest. With a big chunk of months starting with the margin Floofty there. Much is traditional and such, which is not my most practiced medium. Details on each below, just because I like over-explaining and it helps my nerves about posting.

1st: Fairly certain this Gramble is the first thing I did that was OK enough to show. Or, at least close to the first. He was one of my favorites and still is for his kindness(though he also can be really mean and paranoid, also a reason why I like him), so I wanted to get around to em. Also he’s very cute, I love my little malewife. I wanna scoop him up and hold him. Trouble is, Gramble has to have some of the most awkward proportions I’ve yet experienced while trying to draw a grumpus, I swear. That, and the more I looked at it, the more I grew to be unhappy with it. That generally applies to basically all of the drawings from last year, I find them to be “eh” at best. But it is what it is. 2nd: Second up is Flooftyyy, my most favorite. Intelligent, well-spoken, morally ambiguous, NB... and an asshole. But one with a cause they believe in that’s ultimately well intentioned, which they’ll go to self-destructive lengths to fulfill. And it’s clear they struggle to really get a grasp on how to treat people and have learned to cope with their frustration by shutting everyone out and believing them to be ignorant. While still obviously playing favorites between Eggabell and Triffany :p But by the end of the game, they’re learning that in order to really do what they want, they’ve got to really try and understand others. They’re the sort that I’d love to keep following to see their development. The awkwardness, the uncomfortable apologies and attempts at empathizing or opening up, the potential for blossoming relationships and a connection with others that, maybe, they’ve never quite experienced before. Their character is one that’s kind of close to my heart for being interesting and also quite similar to one I made and roleplayed for years. Add in the fact they’re NB and that just sealed the deal, that’s some fucking gender goddamn euphoria right there. So I had to draw them. 3rd: This one also mostly falls under the same explanation as above, except it was an effort as really figuring out grumpus bodies and proportions and stuff. Albeit in the form of solely Floofty, but my mental bandwidth for anything more than a drawing or two at a time is zilch. After that I’m spent. It was the first thing that I felt even marginally satisfied with, however.... I just feel like I’m in danger when looking at it. Like I’m gonna lose my way of things and habits I’ve built now from observing it too closely. Did keep the eyes, however. Kind of. 4th: To be real w you I just felt like drawing a Filbo after seeing a Filbo. He’s cute and I’d put a smooch on his dumb little head. Also more practice w grump stuff, but with some intentional attempts at stylization. I guess it didn’t stick, but who knows, maybe I could pick some of it back up?  5th: THE FIRST NEW DRAWING FROM A FEW DAYS AGO and it’s FLOOFTY, of course. It’s not really the first, there’s a few other things before it, but they suck so... yeah. I’d crawled out of the Bugsnax hole somewhat after a few months and failing to really do anything I actually wanted to do before, but a particular fic conked me right back 6 ft under. Piled the dirt over me and packed it in tight. So here I am again. And not only is it like that, but after binging a whole nearly 60,000 words in a night/morning, I was struck with the inspiration to actually write myself. Or try to, anyway. I have experience in RPing, but not a whole lot in actually... making a story myself. It’s not been going well, but I’ve talked plenty about that already... I’m sure it gets annoying for the whole maybe one person whose seen most of it to witness. And I’m still having fun. I’d mention the fic, but considering it’s NSFW and I’m officially tagging this... I don’t know if they’d want me advertising it as such. But surprise surprise, it’s Floofty related. And don’t get the wrong idea, while it covers explicit subject matter, that’s not entirely the point. Not a bad thing if it were, just that it’s more than that. I just like good character writing over all else, which is something liking this game to begin with heavily reinforced.... 6th: Heeeere’s Gramble, again. I’d been doing some little drawings for character profile stuff in my notebook, but I started to run into some difficulties when I got to him. This here is one of the results of the couple of little draws I did to try and understand. Again, his proportions are so *weird*. He’s just a little guy.... 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th: Here marks the first impulse draw after considering Buddy/Filbo/Beffica poly stuff. As well as the sudden Buddy drawing in general, which came as a big shock to me. These draws are suuuper rough, but I like the concepts. And goodness has this stuff been a whole ‘nother tangent... I did a fair amount of talking about it here. I’d do more, since there were TONS of details I still wanted to mentioned, but... my hands are starting to hurt. So maybe later. I realized that I kinda of messed up their design in my head bc I thought they had more similar teeth to Clumby. Whoops. That’s what I get for not using reference and same with FlooFTY’S TEETH AND THE WATCH NOOOOOOOOOO- .... *Ahem* I reckon the design is subject to change. Gotta make some little adjustment here or there, like maybe different eyes to distinct them from Floofty, but I actually rather... like the look. The hat, tie, and maybe a change to a bag on the side look nice... if totally not canon. But I will have just a little break from canon, as a treat. Otherwise it’s canon or bust. Personally, at least. I don’t really hold others to that standard unless they say they’re trying to follow canon or diverge so badly that a character is unrecognizable.

Background pt.1

• • • • • •

Trigger Warning: childhood abuse, mental abuse, abortion, self-harm, depression.

• • • • • •

When people say, "I was abused as a kid", most would think it started when that person was 4-6 years old. For me, it started before I was even out of my mother's body.

Her name was Amanda; she and my dad met when she was 24. Amanda found out she was pregnant with me in May of 2001, she was not too happy seeing as her and my father had been together for only 6 months. She talked about having an abortion all the way until I was born, saying she didn't want kids, telling my father she would never love me. After I was born via c-section, obviously my dad gave her time to heal. He did everything while she slept and refused to even hold me. This continued all the way until i was around 5 years old.

My dad was a police officer, he worked almost 24/7, aka i was left at home with my mom most days. I have many memories from ages 5-7 years old where I would be minding my own business & she would come out of nowhere, getting as close as she can to my face and scream as loud as she could. This stopped once I learned how to talk to my dad about it, he always protected me the best he could. My grandmother took me to school every day once I started 3rd grade, though there would be days where she wouldn't be able to. On those days, my dad would try his best to make time to take me but being a cop, it was hard for him. So that being said, the days my dad couldn't, my mom would have to. Every time my mother took me to school, she made it a point to ruin my day. I remember, I was in the 3rd or 4th grade and as she was pulling into the parking lot, she turned to me and told me, "You ruined my life, you should've died before you were even born". I went to school crying that day and had to be sent home.

Fast forward a bit. Our relationship wasn't always bad, there were good times. Don't get me wrong, she used our relationship as punishment. Seeing as I never grew up with that bond with her, I always wanted it, I'd do anything to get her approval and love. I was 12, almost 13, and had just gotten my first phone. Seeing as i was a preteen, obviously I went boy crazy. This was when Kik was the best thing in the world. Well, I had been texting some random boy online for a while now and somehow my parents found out about it. Turns out said boy who was saying he was my age, was actually in his 40s. My dad being a cop, wasn't upset with me but he did take my phone away for a handful of months. My mom on the other hand, called me "whore" "slut" and "tramp" for months. Even going as far as to ignore my complete existence for months. There were times where I would scream and cry right in front of her, begging her to talk to me and she would show no emotion, turn around & continue to ignore me. This became a regular occurrence, every time I got in trouble or pissed her off, she would ignore me for weeks to months. When I was 13 & went into 8th grade, I started experiencing depression. I would self-harm and I started writing about it. Well, when I wrote about it, I just happened to tell one of my friends about how I kept the journal in my bag. Telling her I contained all of my deepest secrets, not realizing she would get curious and read it, not realizing I had written about my self-harm. About a week after, somehow, she had gotten it (I didn't know she had it). I got called into the office because the counselor wanted to chat with me. Long story short, I walked in, and she had my journal sitting on her desk. She told me she had no choice but to tell my parents as she was calling my dad. After that, my dad got me into therapy, it was the best thing he could've ever done for me.

As I was going to therapy, i got more and more comfortable. I should note that my dad went with me to every session I had, no matter what. He was my bestie and basically 2 parents in one. Back onto the topic, in these sessions, my mom started coming up more and more. So, my therapist wanted my mom to join the sessions. My dad eventually asked my mom to come with us, she replied "I'm not going, your daughter is clinically insane and needs to go to the hospital". Me being 13, I was clearly upset, and that one sentence cause a lot of harm. I couldn't get over it for months.

• • • • • •

Thats all for now! I will post a part two as soon as I can <3

1/21/2022

Precursor note: this “boy” needs the word “fuck” in front of it. He’s a loser. He took advantage of my heart break from 10YDB just to slide in the DMs and lead me on and then dropped me like a hot potato out of no where then had a new girlfriend 2 weeks later. He literally runs away in public with his tail between his legs. He’s gross. Big mistake but good lesson.

Hey there world, lets chat.

I've got some things on my mind and facebook or snapchat are not the places to share it all. I tried pen and paper and sometimes it works but sometimes I want somebody, ANYBODY to see whats on my mind. I naturally, as an emotional mellenial born in 1992, have this undying pre-teen angst of being misunderstood. I know someone here will totally get where I'm coming from.

Currently, I am feeling so defeated in this ongoing failed attempt to sway this boy. I say boy, he is a man. We are almost 30 for fucks sake.

After everything I have been through in relationships for the last 15 years, I really find myself in a place where I need to have someone who just wants to say "Fuck it, let's get married and live happily ever after no matter how miserable it may get sometimes." Because realistically, who the fuck really believes in fairytales at this age? Ideally, we would like to, but a real relationship is built on a foundation of, "Hey , this thing your doing is really upsetting me, can we talk about it?" And honestly, I could be with just anyone but I'd rather be with the guy I've crushed on for 9 years, who apparently crushed on me too and our lives lined up just so perfectly for us to finally have an opportunity to be together. Unfortunately, his ex is a psycho and he fell for the wrong girl and is still healing from the bullshit she put him through.

I am surprisingly already over my ex of 10 years. Granted, he made it very easy considering he was never really in it to begin with. Trying to get my significant other to pay attention and just talk to me became very annoying and he didn't realize it but he pushed me away and rejected me so much that it was over years ago.

Also, within that time, my first love from diapers finally came back into my life and impacted it very heavily. Even telling him we can't be too romantic because technically I was still in throes with 10 year douchebag, keeping it friendly I still fell for him. And he fell for me. Finally, I felt like I was headed in the right direction. Taking the time I needed to build on something and I think he needed to do the same. As much as I didn't want to, as soon as I realized I was falling for him, I made space between us. I went about 6 weeks without speaking to him at all and in that time he moved to ABQ, NM. I hate that he left. I told him in May how I felt about him. 2 days later I told him I had to choose 10 year DB because he was in NM and wouldn't be back until November. He was crushed, told me he stopped using, told his friends and co workers about me and I made him actually want to settle down. He wasn't the settling type so the fact that he wanted that was a BFD. After that, our talks weren't as every day as they had been before. I thought about it long and hard. I decided when he came back in November I was going to make the move. I decided leading up to his return date, we would revisit the idea of being together. He texted me June 10th and it was my son's graduation day for 5th grade and I had this big day planned. He wished us well and a "Congraduation" to my boy. I focused on my kids for the summer and still thought about him every day. In my thoughts, I fell harder and harder and confirmed that my decision was made. I wanted to be with him and him only. I texted him July 2nd, "Hey boy heyyy" and he replied with "lol wyd" and I was working so I didn't get a chance to respond. I texted him on July 3rd and told him I was working like crazy, sorry I hadn't replied. I didn't hear from him again. July 4th I was so overwhelmed at work all day and I couldn't stop crying. That night around 9:45pm something hit me really really hard. Like I knew someone was gone. I remember stopping dead in my tracks and my kids asked me what was wrong and I remember thinking "I guess we will find out." On July 9th I found out that he died.

I have grieved him every day. I didn't start to feel better until I started talking to this current guy.

I just wish he would want me back. I know God's timing is everything. I'm sure that this is all part of the plan. I just feel so defeated and confused. Typically by now I would have just given up and walked away, but what if he is the one? But then again what if he isn't? Would God really give me all these signs if he wasn't who I need?

This morning I went to get coffee and I felt this inner urge to get him one too and I just went with it. I got him the coffee, I put a note on it that said, "Dearest you, Good morning ☀ <3, Me." I was going to leave it by the back door I know he walks into but there were two big trucks in the way so I left it on the outside bar. He didn't get it for an hour but I really hope it made his day. He apparently had a not so great morning.

So the trucks.. I've noticed lately there have been a lot of giant trucks blocking my path lately. Like within the last 4 days there have been trucks stopping me from moving forward some how. I wait patiently and then I make my way through. I feel like it's another sign from God. I interpret it as Him telling me to slow down, be patient and then I can go.

It's always amazing the difference you feel between starting to write something and when you've written it all down. It's freeing to let it out. To share. And to actually share in the sense that you know someone is going to read it. Anyone.

I think I'm going to be okay now.

Thanks for listening.

<3, Me

voltage » peter parker au [part one]

hi! i published this on wattpad as well, so if you see a repeat don’t worry, i own both:) the only change is i’m styling this more as an imagine, rather than as an actual fanfiction, so the main character will be Y/N instead of Valentina, like it is in the Wattpad version.

word count: 885

warning(s): none

-

Y/N wasn't staring at Peter Parker. She was just admiring the way he smiles when Ned tells a stupid joke, how he always blushes when someone brings up something dumb he did two weeks ago, and how he fiddles his fingers when there's an awkward silence.

So she likes Peter Parker. Big deal.

Lots of girls like Peter Parker. Actually, only two girls like Peter Parker. Her and MJ. And MJ doesn't even know if she really likes Peter. It could've just been an off day for her.

But Y/N knows she likes him. She's liked him since 3rd grade when he came to school with an animal themed bandaid on his chin after falling off his bike.

Of course, she doesn't spend all her time thinking about Peter Parker. She reads, plays the saxophone, and helps her batshit crazy dad electrocute things. It's been his life long passion to become the Dr. Frankenstein of the 21st Century.

His goal is to be able to bring back a person from the dead after more than 24 hours with an electric current. His current test subjects? Rats collected from Queens very own subways. She finds the whole "coming back from the dead" part weird, but she figures it could be worse.

Her gaze leaves Peter and falls down to her buzzing cellphone.

Pa [11:52am]:

Be home on time today. I got some exciting stuff.

Y/N [11:53am]:

k u freakin weirdo

Pa [11:53am]:

Love you spawn.

Any other teenage girl would be mortified to spend most of their time with their dad, especially when their dad loves to play with hundreds of volts of electricity. It's not Y/N's favorite thing, but her and her dad stick together, they always have ever since Y/N’s mom died, and they promised they would never let each other down.

"Why don't you just TALK to him already?" Tia groaned as she plopped down next to Y/N, snapping her out of her trance.

"Yeah, and say what? 'Hi Peter I know you don't know me, but I love the way the light glistens in your eyes, you look like an angel on earth!'" Y/N flatly responded.

Tia rolled her eyes, "Stop being so dramatic. Introducing yourself to another person isn't that hard..."

"It is when you have zero people skills." She responded

Tia shot Y/N a glare before smiling, "So, any exciting plans after school? It is Friday you know, football game? You should totally go! I'm always there with the girls!"

The girls and Y/N did not get along. Tia was friends with a lot of people, including girls who dislike Y/N for being Y/N.

"Can't T, Dad needs my help today."

"Seriously Y/N, just one day...for me?" Tia said, sticking out her bottom lip.

Y/N scratched her head in thought, "Hmm, sweaty teens, shouting adults, shitty football team? I'll pass."

Tia opened her mouth but the bell rang just as she was about to say something.

"Thanks for the invite Tia, but it's just not my thing. I appreciate you thinking about me, and we should definitely hang out soon!" And with that she walked away, leaving an annoyed Tia behind.

*

4th Block Physics with Mr. Brown. And with Y/N and Peter Parker sitting only tables away.

She could hear Ned whispering to Peter, well everyone could hear Ned whispering something to Peter. Even Mr. Brown could and he was starting to get fed up.

"Coulomb's Law. Can anyone tell me the definition of this term?" Brown asked.

"Right. It was crazy! And I couldn't believe-" Ned was interrupted by a sharp voice.

"LEEDS! How many times must I ask you to shut your trap in one class?" Brown questioned.

The class chuckled as Ned turned bright red, "Sorry sir."

Brown looked at both Ned and Peter, and it was almost as if a lightning bulb went off in his head

"Leeds, switch with Y/L/N."

Y/L/N.

Y/N looked at Brown and he made a motion for her to get up.

In her 11 years of going to school with Peter Parker not once had she sat next to him. She would've remembered it if it actually had happened.

She could feel the gaze from her classmates burning holes into the back of her head as she hurried across one side of the room to the other. Peter gave her a weak smile as she sat down next to him.

"Sorry about that." He said.

Val returned a nervous, giddy smile, "It's okay, it's not your fault."

He nodded and turned his attention back to Brown, who was droning on and on about whatever the hell a coulomb was. Y/N turned to a page to start taking notes, but she could feel Peter staring at her notebook. She looked over at him and saw his eyes focused on one of her doodles.

"Do you like Spider-Man?" He asked, pointing to her drawing of the spider that's on Spider-Man's suit.

"He's pretty cool I'd say."

He laughed, "Yeah, he is isn't he?"

With that, Peter turned his attention back up to Brown for good, gazing at Ned every once in a while, who was making weird hand movements trying to communicate with him from across the classroom.

Y/N’s focus on anything disappeared the second Peter Parker told her he was sorry.