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moongothic · 5 months

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i would love trans crocodile but im very cynical that oda would write him in a respectful manner. thats not even thinking of how horrible that one portion of the one piece fandom would treat him

Yeah the fandom sucks and I'm going to strangle everyone (including the cishets who claim to be trans allies and then use "Crocomom")

But with Oda it's weird because like. The more I think about it, the more I'm like... 50/50 about Oda being able to actually deliver good, respectful trans masc rep.

Like I've posted about this before but One Piece does have this on-going theme of having characters "stuck in wrong bodies" or "having one's body changed" (sometimes reversably, sometimes irreversably; sometimes against their will, sometimes consentually). Which, in theory, in my mind, does kind of signal that on some level Oda understands the idea of being "the wrong sex" (whether or not that's a good way to explain The Trans Experience™ is a whole different subject but it's an old fashioned explanation that Oda would probably be/is familiar with) But at the same time, while the concept pops up again and again in One Piece, Oda doesn't really dwell too deep into the idea of what that's like. Like, emotionally. How it feels like to like, get turned into a toy or be a child who gets aged 20 years or to get turned into a cyborg or a giant child or have parts of your body permanently turned into animal parts (sometimes with a will of their own) etc

And like. Part of me understands why, Oda does tend to want to focus on writing a story he thinks teenaged boys would be interested in reading, and he has often stated he wants to have fun with his story too (like that's partially why Luffy's a Rubber Man, because Oda thought giving Luffy a ridiculous ability would make him more fun to write and draw long-term, which is valid as hell) This is why for example Oda has avoided doing any romances in OP, and while there are dark themes in the story, often he has done his best to avoid making them too blatant, as some things would be too mature for his youngest readers (like, for example until Kuma's backstory, it was never explicitly stated what would happen to the slave wives of the Tenryuubito, even saying it was "implied" would be pushing how that subject had been treated until now)

So like. Because of that, I understand why Oda hasn't dwelled into The Feelings™ part much/at all despite the "stuck in the wrong body" narrative appearing time and time again

Either Oda thinks it'd be too boring either for himself or his readers, or he hasn't dwelled into it because he doesn't really understand gender dysphoria and can't relate to the experience (despite how often it shows its face in OP). Or it could be both, even

The thing is though, as OP has gone on, while I wouldn't say Oda has "broken his writing rules", Kuma's backstory alone has pushed them to a new limit with the love-that-never-was story and the all-but-explicitly-stated storytelling.

So a part of me wonders, if Crocodile is trans, could Oda actually like... take a slightly deeper look into his feelings and explore his queer experience? ('Cause god knows, if Crocodad Real, then there really would be a literal coming out-story built into his backstory that would be extremely unavoidable, and as I've mentioned before, the fact that we haven't gotten to learn almost anything about his backstory yet is Kinda Fucking Sus)

Also I do want to mention how... like Oda gets a lot of bad rap when it comes to queer rep in One Piece, but the more I think about it, I think it's more an issue with the terminology and how translators have gone about either localizing it, or more often than not, leaving it unlocalized 'Cause like. Yes the "okama" would be horrible trans rep but... really... they're not trans representation. They're representation for draq queens. Piss poor draq rep, but still, they're draq queens. And just like our very real life drag performers; some of them are cishets. Some of them are gender non-conforming gay men. Some of them are nonbinary*. Some of them are trans women. Obviously lumping all of these people into one group is kinda offensive (which is why "okama" is (as far as I understand it) such an unpopular term even amongst queer people in Japan), and the way Oda often chooses to draw these characters looks no different to how gender criticals choose to present trans women in their propaganda.

*Like Bon-chan, who explicitly states they are both male and female. And Iva-chan, who switches between boy-mode and girl-mode from time to time, could arguably be called genderfluid (though any specific terminology is up to debate). Both are nonbinary draq queens.

And yet, despite all that. It can not be understated how if you put aside the nameless background gag-characters, Oda does treat the actual, proper queer characters with respect. Everyone would agree that Bon-chan is an absolute hero, we would all die for them. Iva-chan (and Inazuma too) is explicitly presented in a heroic light, seen as someone who helps people and fights for justice (with the Revs)

And then there's the first binary trans characters we've actually gotten, Okiku and Yamato. And I'm pretty sure we would all agree Okiku is 10/10 perfect trans fem representation (I am not entirely serious, I'm not trans fem so I can't speak for trans women here, it's just that I can't see anything Horrendously Wrong with how Okiku is presented within the story- not actually perfect but all things considdered, damn good). She is stunning, people around her (INCLUDING SANJI!!) don't just view her as a woman but would go out of their way to date her (as in, she is seen as "desirable", and not as some kind of a disgusting freak to avoid), she is heroic and sweet and kind and just. IDK I love her And while I'm sure many trans mascs would agree Yamato may not be how they want to be seen by the world (though having Yamato ID as a man while having the biggest moobs is surely validating for a lot of people, including anybody who might not want or be able to get top surgery and/or HRT), again, he is only presented as heroic within the narrative and respected by the characters around him, Luffy especially, which is by far the most important part; the protagonist going out of his way to be respectful of trans characters does represent the values of the story.

And like.

Think about how Oda has treated Crocodile so far.

Like, although we're all having a bit of a laugh over the whole Cross Guild thing, Oda is still treating him as a cool character whom he presents seriously and treats with respect. Like Oda wants the readers to see Crocodile as at least a little bit cool. So I can't imagine him pulling a full 180 with how Croc would be treated in the story if he was revealed to be trans, especially when the potential foreshadowing for that was laid out in the story years ago already.

All this to say; Oda is not perfect at all, but considdering the things he has gotten right so far, I think there is hope he could pull it off. Because Oda is for Queer Liberation.

Really, my only concerns would be whether or not there's a risk Crocodile could get somehow detrans'd during the story (I'm praying the Haki theory isn't an option, really Doc Q might be the only true risk here), if he's stealth and that got presented as "a wrong thing to do" (which I'd hope not, like our previous queer characters have been okay with being openly queer but that may have been more for the readers than anything else. At least, I hope, god knows if Crocodile is and wants to be stealth trans then that's his right and he shouldn't have to out if he doesn't want to, and yeah, I don't want him to be demonized within the narrative for being stealth (if he's stealth, for all we know he could be out)) and like, most importantly, what'd end up being Crocodile's "motivation" for transitioning in the first place

Like. God. I just. I don't want there to be a twist where Crocodile transitioned because "being a woman was weak" or because he "wanted to be acknowledged by Whitebeard" ('cause WB doesn't take women into his crew) or "the scar in his face made him so ugly he decided he should be a man instead" (seen unironic Redditors suggest that. Almost lost my mind) or something

Like I hope someone's at least tried to explain gender dysphoria to Oda. Like the man does have actual queer friends in real life (some of whom inspired characters in OP), so I'm hoping at least someone's tried to explain the feelings that come with The Trans Experience™ to him so that, if Crocodile's trans, then Oda can actually try to base his reasoning to transition on those feelings instead of any stupid "reasons" that no actual queer person would relate to

But it all just boils down to... Is Oda willing to actually dwell into those feelings and explore them in the story.

It... it really could go either way with Oda

So yeah. Anon, I'm with you, I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was at least A Little Worried. But also... I want to be hopeful. Because I do believe there is reason to be hopeful.

Only time will tell how it'll go

#Moon posting #Asks #Sir Crocodile #OP Meta #OP Spoilers #Long post #CW Discussions of transphobia #For the record- cishets using ''crocomom'' for like fandom tagging purposes is fine #But outside of that. P e r i s h #Literally no need to misgender him.#(And obligatory disclaimer: yes if you're trans masc you get a pass on misgendering Crocodile. I'm @'ing the cishets not you)#(Also I'm not dead serious. It's just a pet peeve and god dammit I need to complain about it somewhere djkfghdskfgh)#While I'm at it with the tagging complaints please for the love of god tag your genderbends so people can blacklist and avoid them #Your Cross Guild Yuri is fun and fine but for some people having a trans man get presented as a woman in fanart #For no other reason than “girl pretty” pretty much #Can be just really emotionally draining and painful when the world so explicitly **does not want you to be trans**#Just. It'd be The Nice Thing To Do. You can draw your fem Croc just. Please tag it. For the love of god.#These tags are an absolute mess yeehaw

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it-is-i-zim · 9 months

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A little bit of a rant but I really don't like it when non-Captain Boomerang try to portray Captain Boomerang as this like cold hearted, stone cold killer. I understand why it could possibly appear that way to someone who knows absolutely nothing about Captain Boomerang, outside of this one character in 2 different comics, but like as a fan of him, it's getting annoying to see people act like he goes around murdering people on purpose. Hero or not. Presumably he'd probably be more uncomfortable with killing children or teenagers.

"But what about Hack???" I hear no one yelling but just to cover all of my bases... HE CANONICALLY FELT LIKE SHIT AFTER THAT!!! He literally states "I can't believe I just did that" with a clear look of shock, and possibly horror, on his face. He literally cannot believe he killed someone. But he feels that he has to because he's "the bad guy." And bad guys kill people. That's what they do so he feels that in order to be a good criminal, he has to kill, even if he fuckin hates it. Even if he feels bad about it.

And not too much longer after this, Harley notices that it's eating away at him. She doesn't know what specific, but she knows he's distressed about something. So she asked if he was okay.

His response is very telling, "... I did a bad thing, Quinn." He looks so guilty about the whole thing. It's also clearly meant to sound like he genuinely feels bad about what he's done.

"What about Jack Drake" I hear probably no one asking still, but just in case, again, covering all my bases here. This is a bit more of a complicated thing. Especially considering the fact that the comics was written 15 years ago by this point but it's recently come to people's attention as a result of a new comic called Robin: Knight Terrors, where issue 5 of Identity Crisis is referenced in issue 1 of Knight Terrors: Robin.

I want to make something very clear. Knight Terrors isn't meant to be taken absolutely literally. It is simply exploring character's fears through the lense of a character's nightmares while at the same time trying to tie it to this new villain, Insomnia or whatever his name is.

These aren't meant to be taken as what literal canon events. These don't accurately portray what happened in the slightest. These are just Tim's perspective on the events, combined with the trauma that Tim Drake received because of his father being murdered.

First thing I'd like to point out, no words were said at all. Captain Boomerang literally didn't even see it coming until it was too late. He was only really there to break in, steal stuff, and leave. Still not necessarily something Captain Boomerang would do, he's more of a bank robber kind of guy. This is something well established but I don't want to waste everyone's time showing every single time he's robbed a bank or a jewelry store or convenience stor. Cuz that's what Captain Boomerang does. He steals from establishments, not individuals.

In Identity Crisis, Captain Boomerang is literally falling over after being shot 3 times in the chest as he's throwing the boomerang at Jack Drake. Jack Drake fired first. It was not Captain Boomerang's intention to kill anyone here. Cuz that's not what Captain Boomerang does. He doesn't kill unless he's trying to defend himself or he feels like he has to. He's not a killer.

To add to this, in issue 6 of Identity Crisis, Tim literally did not get there until after his father was dead for some time. He did not witness the events that took place at all. Knight Terrors: Robin is based on how Tim would view the situation though a nightmarish lense by having his father die essentially on loop.

In short, Captain Boomerang is a thief, not a killer. He doesn't kill unless he feels it's necessary for one reason or another. He's still a bad guy, I understand that, but he's not murdering people at random and I'm kinda tired of hearing people thinking that that's his thing. Cuz believe it or not, Hack and Jack Drake are literally the only 2 examples I have for Captain Boomerang that aren't specifically part of a Suicide Squad assassination mission. Which if you don't know anything about the Suicide Squad, they literally have to do so or their head gets blown off. I guess technically Hack was killed cuz Harcourt and Captain Boomerang are working for The People, an organization trying to be just like the Suicide Squad, so presumably, the brain bomb situation still applies here, but on the other hand it established that I guess he volunteered or something like that? But my point still stands. He's existed since at least December of 1960, the publication date of his first appearance.

If Captain Boomerang was an actual killer, you would have definitely heard about it by now.

And I haven't even gotten into the fact that, at least like... 10 years ago or whatever, that Flash Rogues kinda have a code against killing and doing drugs and such. And Captain Boomerang is a Flash Rogue. It's not really physically shown anymore, but he still is. I mean just look at Aquaman and The Flash: Voidsong, issue 1. Right there, he's back with the Rogues.

And even then, this isn't the best interpretation of the Rogues. Because contrary to popular belief, they don't kill Speedsters. This is yet another one of their established rules. They just don't kill. It's not at all what they do.

I feel like a broken record having to explain this time and time again. Because these guys are riddled with writers who just don't understand them. Writers often just use them as Bad Guy Numbers 1 through 15 or whatever, despite the fact that they are Flash's (at least Barry's anyway) main villains. And all they do is rob from banks mostly. Maybe a jewelry store. They don't go out of their way to murder people for no reason, even during a robbery. They don't go out of their way to kill heroes for no reason. I don't even think they've gone out of their way to even fight the Flash for any reason. He just shows up when the commit crimes. That's it. They aren't trying to kill him. They aren't trying to actually put people in danger. It's not what they do. And once again. Captain Boomerang is still one of them. Therefore he's not doing any of those things either.

This honestly wasn't necessary to explain, but I feel the need to share by perspective as a Captain Boomerang fan. There seems to be a Captain Boomerang Misconception™ that I've kinda witnessed within the Captain Boomerang tags alone with a bit of discussion involving Knight Terrors: Robin from Tim Drake fans in particular and Captain Boomerang isn't portrayed very will in comics about Tim Drake.

#captain boomerang #george harkness #digger harkness #jack drake #tim drake #idk does anyone want me to add any other tags???#I'm not used to putting characters that aren't Captain Boomerang or Riddler in the tags so idk what people would want me to tag tim with #tw blood #cw blood #blood #Do I tag the other Flash Rogues as well???#I know they're in the one image but this post isn't about them so much as Captain Boomerang is one of them #And even then that's not what this post is about #This post is about the fact that Captain Boomerang doesn't go out of his way to kill people #Hero or bystander he's just not going to murder them #long post #tw Captain Boomerang #cw captain boomerang #Last to tags for all the Tim Drake fans who are triggered by Captain Boomerang

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popsicle-stick · 1 year

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People who say "I wish Jack Seward was the same except he wasn't running a lunatic asylum and being a problematic psychiatrist :/" you don't want Jack you want a The Big Bang Theory character.

i think, for me, he's just utterly, painfully human. i've said the same about jonathan before, but if you're not taking the whole of the character, malpractice and all, what IS the point lol.

the internal war that jack seems to be constantly fighting feels like a shadow of the myriad self-arguments that stoker seems to be making within the novel dracula itself. which is interesting! and implies that, along with multiple other characters, that a fair amount of stoker himself went into him - and really uh. recontextualises some of his relationships with the other characters.

like i DO emphathise deeply with his reclusive, obsessive nature, love him for his loyalty to his friends and genuinely selfless actions, and yet the deeply uncomfortable parts of his character - the parts that stem from the obsession and reclusion and self-dislike - are just as as integral to him, and make him a far more interesting character to pull apart. his selflessness is real! yet the other side of it - the separation of self, the self loathing, his self destructive habits - tie deeply in with this. the fact that they manifest how they do - in his use of renfield, a powerless individual obstensibly miles below him in the asylum's social ladder, as some kind of unwilling sounding board for his own mental illness illustrates the mundane nature of evil that lurks, whether stoker intended or not, at the edges of the book. not only does he not recognise the humanity of those in his power - he often refuses to recognise his own. his examination of renfield comes across as a kind of self-examination, in which renfield himself is purely the neglected victim in the fallout. he keeps trying, but his attempts to divorce himself from his own humanity - the good and the uglier side - belie just how agonisingly human he is.

tl;dr: he contains multitudes

#dracula #dracula daily #obsessed with how this ask was blocked because it contained the words 'big bang theory' which i think shows my opinions towards That Show #like yeah. my tldr view of seward is that he's not bad. he's not evil. but my god are his actions human #and IN that humanity lies the capacity for great evil. as it does in everyone. not that he truly goes there! he says this as much himself #and it very much shows in his role as a doctor and his use of power or lack of it #it has been Some Time since i had to write an academic essay on dracula so please forgive me for this GCSE-esque breakdown #but yeah. if he was real i would probably be a seward (the man) hater. however this is fiction so i am a seward (the concept of) lover #fuck it i'll risk putting this in the tags #medical abuse cw #i guess??

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davlucies · 2 months

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taako rescuing lucretia frfom the depression nexus because otherwise there's no way he and lup can pull off this prank 🌶

#taako #lucretia #taz balance #stolen century #comic #negative self talk cw #referenced abuse cw #very much inspired by how badly i spiraled recently after someone i don't even know projected a ton of weird shit on me #they insulted me with the exact kind of language my family used towards me as a kid and i was like oh my abusers were right #everyone does hate me i should die there is no good in the world all other people will hurt me i will never be safe #i love being mentally ill and so fragile and depressed shit like that fucks me up so badly but yeah #i dont have any hope. it will never get better. people will always hate me and insult me and trigger me on purpose bc #im not a human to them.. rhere's nothing i can to do keep people like that away from me as long as im alive #we live in a terrible world #but at least davenport's eating that hot sauce cookie for sure now. he won't suspect a thing

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snzluv3r · 20 days

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3. How often do you blow your nose?

so ridiculously often like probably a lot more often than you’d imagine it’s embarrassing.

i am shy about sneezing in front of other people and will absolutely run into another room to have a sneezing fit in private but when it comes to nose blowing i can no longer afford to be shy and within the past 6 months have started blowing my nose whenever i need to at work, which is so often my nose is just permanently red and sore.

i still cringe every time i have to pull a crumpled up tissue out of my pocket to wipe at my nose with on the train or really anywhere public, and i definitely still find myself going to the bathroom to privately and properly blow my nose into some paper towels way too often, but sometimes it is simply a battle between what feels less embarrassing at the time (and sniffling every five seconds tends to be a lot noisier and attention grabbing than blowing my nose as quietly as possible every fifteen minutes)

so yeah i blow my nose a lot

#cw not even necessarily mention of mess but allusion to it? idk #sorry for going on such a useless tangent but #yeah i absolutely hate blowing my nose or using tissues in public just as much as i hate sneezing in public #if not more #but it simply cannot be helped anymore #sniffling is cute on other people but on me it is incessant #and annoying and it makes me sneeze more than wiping my nose does so #constantly shoving used tissues into my pockets in public in shame it is #my asks #sneeze asks #i’m feeling too chatty rn #also thank you for asking!!

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cookinguptales · 5 months

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always so funny to me that ketamine in tv and movies is always like "omg party drug... but watch out!" meanwhile IRL I am preparing for my biweekly ketamine dose by wearing my softest jammies and cuddling up in a fluffy blanket with a heating pad and firing up stardew valley.

really living life on the wild side over here.

#it's doctor-prescribed but #I've been on very heavy and very light doses for pain & mental health and it never feels very fun #I don't get the emotional/psychedelic/dissociative effects as much #which mystifies my doctors #but it does help VERY much with my pain and a little bit with my mood so #I just put up with feeling dizzy and heavy and unpleasant for an hour or two twice a week lmao #and I just switched doctors and it's going from $90 a bottle to $60 thank god #cw:#drug use #I am actually amazingly good at playing stardew while high now #I kept running into walls and stuff when I first started #both... in the game and in real life #but concentrating on something light and repetitive helps with the dizziness #and I can even catch fish and do the skull mines in stardew now lmao

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nutmegdoggy · 3 months

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if you guys wanted to see how bad the tom macdonald and ben shapiro rap is but didn't wanna give them a view, here ya go

normally I'm against distributing shit from horrible people even to hatewatch it, but this is just so embarrassingly awful that I think the entertainment value is worth it

#i cannot BELIEVE ben shapiro raps in this #it doesnt even feel real #hes been memed so much it feels like a deepfake #there are so many insane bars (derogatory)#I ASK MYSELF WHAT WOULD BEN DO #(while ben makes the most uncomfortable face possible)#LETS JUST KEEP IT REAL FAGS #IF YOU WANT MY PRONOUNS IM THE MAN IM THE MEN WHO DONT RESPECT YOU (???)#bens lines are my favorite #HOMIE IM EPIC DONT BE A WAP #HE ALSO DIRECTLY DISSES NICKI MINAJ LATER ON??#my favorite part of this video is ben's awkward little wave at one minute in #he has no idea what to do #he doesnt REMOTELY know how to look cool #so he just does the tiniest friendly little wave #uncertainly hovering near the bottom of the frame as if it cant decide whether it's appropriate or not #I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE MATCHING HOODIES #btw even i didnt have to give this a view on youtube #a friend used ffmpeg to download it and post it in a group chat #cw homophobia #cw transphobia #cw queerphobia #cw f slur #cw islamophobia #cw conservatives #ben shapiro #tom macdonald #conservatives

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your-local-grinning-cat · 3 months

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SOOOO CHENYA WHAT IF I SAY THAT CHESSIE HAD CATNIP NOW SHE'S STARTING TO SEE RAINBOWS? :3

Ahhhh, catnip! *grins*

Is it her first time on catnip? I wish her well! She’s in for a fun time! Rainbows are a fun treat!

#the fun thing about catnip is that even though it’s a drug for us kitties it’s also just… a plant #so while of course we shouldn’t have too much of a good thing it isn’t going to HURT us by any means #in other words - all of the ‘fun’ of regular drugs with NONE of the horrible side effects #that make regular drugs things you should NEVER partake in #this of course does not include prescribed medications or recreational drugs 👍#I’m talking about like LSD or heroin or meth #don’t do drugs kids #but catnip is fine! 😸#che’nya chats #twst rp #che’nya rp #Cheshire Cat family reunion #tw drugs #cw drugs #<- ooc: just because of the tags oop #ooc: also I have no idea the difference between cw and tw so they both go on sorry 😭

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trashlie · 1 year

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ILY FP 220

CW for abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, etc. Sorry for the minor spoiler, but we’re digging into the way Yui has manipulated and abused Kousuke since he was young and that might be triggering to some readers.

Whoo BOY! Idk about you guys but I loved this episode (I keep saying this every week lmao). Again, there’s so much confirmation of things I’ve been saying/believing, and I find it really funny that this arrived on the cusp of a related discussion I’ve been having lol. This time, I’m also going to link to some interesting posts/threads from the 220 discussion post on the reddit, because they are presented really well, and while I’ll talk about them in this post, I want to highlight the comments that have furthered my thoughts and commentary! The reddit discussion posts are really what helps me put my thoughts together!

I am a big fan of this comment and the subsequent replies between them and cheeselounge; good explanation of exactly how Yui’s manipulation/gas lighting/abuse works and why it maintains a compelling hold on Kousuke, as well as some good food for thought about black and white vs shades of grey, the ableism that runs rampant when people on a whole talk about Kousuke, and how harmful it is to view characters as 100% innocent or guilty. Also really fantastic points on the parallels of how Shinae, Nol, and Kousuke are shown waking in the hospital. Just an all around top tier comment!

This is my own comment lol but what is important is not the comment itself but the discussion in the replies. I’m not a medical person so everyone’s input on what it means for Yui to shut down Hansuke’s tests is invaluable to me lol. Someone also brought up blood type - and while I don’t think that’s something Hansuke would be testing, it does bring up interesting thoughts re: Kousuke’s parentage.

So let’s get into it!

I know it’s tacky to be an “I told you so!” person but this episode, besides making me feel incredibly unsettled and angry, absolutely made me feel I TOLD YOU SO! Yui is SO skilled at manipulation it’s like second nature to her. Every now and then I still see people defending Yui as loving Kousuke so much that the way she treats him can’t possibly be manipulation, and that you can’t prove it’s manipulation - and like. THAT’S THE THING LOL Textbook abuse is often met with people who don’t believe it because they’ve never seen it, because you’re being so dramatic, because it’s not big deal. That’s how abuse WORKS. The abuser is seen as someone who couldn’t possibly be abusing you, because they do so many nice things or they seem so lovely and they just don’t seem like an abuser~. That’s why it works!!!! Because they have created a reasonable cause of doubt. Because they make YOU look like the liar, like you’re dramatic, like you’re just making a big deal out of things that aren’t.

Also, people can say they love you and still abuse you, still hurt you, still use you for their own gain. And Yui does just that.

It’s been a source of great ire to me that so much of what Yui has done has been swept under an umbrella of “she just loves him so much of course she wants the best for him”. But it’s not about him, and we can see that now! Yui doesn’t respond to Kousuke with love or affection. She has NO CONCERN about what happened to him. In fact, even as Hansuke tries to argue in favor of running tests on Kousuke, Yui tries it on him. “He’s dramatic, you know that. I know him well, and I know he’s fine. You are making a big deal out of nothing. We don’t want to make him think something is wrong with him do we?” Hansuke is the only one showing concern for Kousuke. It’s not just about him hitting his head - it’s about the unresponsive state in which he found Kousuke. It’s that HE knows Kousuke and HE knows something happened, something set him off, and that he responded to it in a worrying way!

Yui SHOULD be concerned about Kousuke. She should want to understand, she should worry that something is going on with him. Instead, she just tries to pretend it’s nothing, to sweep it under the rug, to hide it not just from everyone else but from HIMSELF. “We don’t want him to think something’s wrong with him, do we?”

But it’s not just that, it’s the way she operates! For so long I’ve been trying to say that while Rand is very much responsible for his choices, I believe Yui absolutely has affected his relationship with Kousuke and encouraged/fostered the distance between them. If Kousuke ever got close to Rand, maybe he would have laid off, calmed down, felt that he’d reached his goal and now he didn’t have to run so hard. But as long as that goal is unmet, as long as Rand is distant from him, Kousuke would have to keep pushing until he reaches the top, just like she wants.

It’s the way she took Rand’s real gift and threw it out and replaced it with some random cardigan that looks like it’s not up to Kousuke’s standards. “How sweet of him” so sweet that he doesn’t know what his son likes, right? So sweet that he just got you whatever and you’re supposed to like it. She’s further fostering that divide. Not only has Kousuke not reached Rand, but he looks like he doesn’t know anything about him, like he doesn’t even care. And that’s further supported by the reality of the night - Kousuke knows Rand is with Nol and while on some level he understands why (even he was concerned about Nol being hurt) eventually he might internalize it as “Father chose Nol over me.”

How many times has Yui intervened? Swapped out gifts? Relayed the wrong information, just FORGOT to relay the right information. How convenient, that Rand was never around for Kousuke’s birthday because he had meetings elsewhere. How convenient, that Rand never knew when Kousuke’s recitals or EVEN GRADUATION were. I want to reiterate I think Rand deserves critique. He has made his choices, he could have reached out to Kousuke, could have inquired about when his events are. But also as we’ve extensively discussed, Yui absolutely has and continues to weaponize what Rand loves and cares about against him. She’s weaponized it against Kousuke in how she commodified the concept of love and Rand’s love. She’s done it to Nol. At some point, people give up. There’s only so much misery they can endure. It’s very likely that Rand made efforts, in the beginning. We’ve seen him talk to Kousuke before about how he doesn’t have to follow in his footsteps, that he’s allowed to be whatever he wants. We’ve seen him try to instill little life lessons in Kousuke, only for Yui to swoop in and contradict him. At some point a person is going to burn out, grow tired. It’s unfair to Kousuke, because as his father, Rand still has a duty to him. But he’s also a human and we can only take so much.

Rand and Yui exist in a toxic relationship, and Rand has spent so much of that time in a state of misery. We’ve seen it in Nol, how at some point he thought maybe he should give up, maybe there’s no point in fighting, maybe he just needs to let it go. We’ve seen it in Shinhan, who was overwhelmed by stress and his job and schooling and didn’t have the time and energy to be a present father and at some point turned to alcohol for comfort even at the expense of their funds.

People can only endure so much. That’s the tragedy of Rand and Kousuke - that Rand was eventually worn down to such an extent that he didn’t have it in him to keep trying, that he was sapped of everything, that it was used against him time and time again, and that in the end it hurts Kousuke. That there were two children involved and impacted by this and both have come to meet danger and harm.

I have so many thoughts about Rand, and Rand and Yui, and I’ll have to save them for another post. I don’t want to absolve Rand of his crimes against his children, but I also think it’s important to consider the circumstances, because at the end of the day that’s why this is so tragic. It’s so real. Yui is not the first parent to ever pit her child against her spouse, she isn’t the first person to manipulate others in her life. It doesn’t absolve the other parent, but we have to acknowledge the circumstances, because I don’t believe this is the father Rand wanted to be. I think he wanted to have a relationship with his son, but that Yui made it a difficult task, and after some time, he gave up on it.

Anyway that’s a whole sidebar lmao the point I REALLY wanted to make was: seeing Yui pull this, swap out the gift, replace it with something that is unsuited for Kousuke just further fosters that distance between Rand and Yui. And because Yui is the one who is here when Kousuke wakes up, it further perpetuates the belief that Kousuke is not good enough for Rand to care about him - especially given the circumstances in which Rand found Kousuke.

Do we ever get to know what’s going on in Rand’s head? What did he think, when he found his sons out there in the snow? What did he think, when it looked like Kousuke was running away from Nol left bloodied and bleeding out in the snow? What did he think about this scene, after the phone call he had earlier that night with Kousuke and what he overhead. We still don’t know what Kousuke said the night he was drunk and left his father a voicemail, but we can deduce that it probably had to do with this - with his relationship with Nol and the hate and the jealousy and the fear and the desperate want to be loved, to be good enough?

The blood is on his hands both metaphorically and physically.

Something I want to stress is how grey I find this. Kousuke acted on Nol’s goading. If he hadn’t pushed Kousuke’s buttons, Kousuke would not have done it. Punching him as he was leaving the room was a fight or flight response - I don’t think it was his intention to knock him off the balcony - but I also think in that moment he didn’t feel guilt. Likewise, when Nol left the party, Kousuke chased after him, caught up in his fears and jealousy, the paranoia that stems from it. In so many ways, Kousuke does believe Nol is better than him. Nol’s ability to walk away and not fight back not just at the party, but even after he chased him, infuriated him, because he was goaded into chasing and attacking and yet Nol didn’t even choose to defend himself. Did he intentionally slam Nol like that knowing the glass shards would dig in and tear him up? Did he even register the glass?

What really strikes me is that when Kousuke realizes Nol is injured - badly - it doesn’t come across to me like he’s afraid of getting in trouble for it. He seems genuinely concerned that something has happened to Nol, that he’s bleeding. He wanted Nol to fight back, but I don’t think he wanted to HURT him like that? His reaction is so different from back at the party, where paranoia clouded logic and that flashback returned to him. I think yes, Kousuke wanted to hurt Nol, but I don’t think he wanted it to be like this?

Idk they’re complicated and it’s why I enjoy getting to see these kinds of scenes.

But again, this is a tangent I didn’t mean to go on, but I think it’s important to state so that you guys understand how and why I interpret the scenes as I do. There is no one who is 100% guilty or innocent.

I definitely think we are meant to dig in to Yui’s actions and understand the manipulation and gaslighting that has gone on for the entirety of Kousuke’s life. That it isn’t solely about Nol, that even before him, she was doing this, that Kousuke as her son has always been a means to her self-serving goals and ambitions, that he was never a child to her but this extension of herself, this opportunity to go after what she wants, a way to cut Rand out of the picture so that everything falls back into the hands of her family. Though Kousuke she is able to orchestrate everything she wants and needs because he is solely at her mercy.

Look at how deftly she discredits Hansuke while ensuring she is seen as the one who has the most concern for him. Look at how she makes it look as though Hansuke was trying something shady, to run tests on him without his consent, how can he overstep those boundaries - as if she doesn’t do that very thing at every opportunity. That’s how it works! You isolate your victim by making them believe everyone is out to harm them, that no one is trustworthy - no one except yourself, of course. It’s how she remains that safe shelter to him. Even though she does overstep his boundaries, even though she inserts herself into his business, she’s also the one who brings him “comfort”, the only one who he can trust. And it’s why he is unable to part ways with that manipulated reality he adheres to. It’s why, when other people speak the truth to him, he cannot believe it if it contradicts what he knows and believes, and that’s why no one is able to get through to him.

Kousuke is a textbook victim of manipulation - he can never grow and progress as long as Yui exists.

And something that someone pointed out (in the first link I included above!) is the visual progression of that. While we knew Kousuke would likely regress and everything he confronted and admitted would be out the window if Yui shows up, it’s further illustrated at the beginning of the episode and how it’s juxtaposed against the last scene we saw.

From Nol and Shinae standing together, hands clutched and Nol resting on her shoulder with the sunrise and light, the clocks turn back and grow darker and darker, until Kousuke awakes. His moment of illumination is over, he’s back to the dark. Yui’s arrival represents that darkness, and how it undoes every moment of truth he had prior.

As long as Yui remains in Kousuke’s proximity, he will always be in the dark, unable to reach the light.

In that same comment, they talked about the parallels in how we were shown Nol, Shinae, and Kousuke all waking up in the hospital.

Shinae woke to her father and his love and care. There was never a moment she had to doubt him. I still can’t get over that little snippet of Minhyuk in the hospital before she’d fully woken, how feral he sounded, how upset he was about what happened - that he knew he was one of the only people who actually cared about her and his anger at how she was hurt. There was never a moment that Shinae had to doubt these people. Even though her mom has left and took her sister, too, Shinae has never had to feel entirely alone.

On the flip side, Nol didn’t wake up to relatives, to his parents. He woke up to panic and fear and his fight or flight senses kicked in - until he noticed Shinae asleep at the foot of his bead and realized he wasn’t alone. His friends showed up despite the way he had treated him to celebrate him, to make him feel special, to make him feel better in the ways that they can. Nol has spent a lot of time alone, but he’s not. He has people at his side.

But Kousuke also wakes up alone - no peace, but instead a hard to make out argument outside his door. Isn’t that awful? At least Shinae and Nol wake up to a sense of comfort, but Kousuke wakes up to people arguing about him. When he fully wakes and sits up, there’s no one in the room. Just him. And then in sweeps Yui, paying off a nurse to trash Rand’s gift, ready to spin a new web to further ensnare Kousuke.

As long as Yui remains that safe place, that comfort to Kousuke, he cannot be free.

That’s the power of isolation, that’s the power of discrediting the people around him, of ensuring he believes only her words, convincing him that only she knows him well enough, that only she can help him, only she will tell him the truth.

“They were all superfluous. Don’t worry, I told him to stop. It’s best to save resources on patients that actually need it, right?”

We know Hansuke is in the right mind, wanting to run tests on Kousuke. He is rightfully concerned that something is going on with Kousuke and hopes tests could be indicative of something. He’s a doctor and thus believes in science and if there’s scientific evidence, maybe THAT could sway Kousuke, maybe THAT could convince him to listen. But not only does Yui put a stop to it, but she manages to discredit his intentions. She conveys to Kousuke exactly what she needs to - of course there’s nothing wrong with you you’re just fine don’t listen to what anyone else says because they don’t know you like I do. They’re all just being so dramatic.

And the next time Hansuke dares bring up to Kousuke that maybe he needs to get checked out, Kousuke will double down against him, will continue to believe Hansuke has a vendetta against him, will add him to his growing list of paranoia. The one person who is actively fighting for Kousuke is a big threat to Yui, so she has to ensure that Kousuke won’t trust him.

But that begs the question then. Is she putting a stop to the tests in effort to discredit Hansuke, or is it more than that? I am not a medical person, so this is not my area of expertise and I can only go off of the input others have put out there. I do personally think that whatever Kousuke is dealing with is not so much a mental illness as much as a response to the various stressors in his life, and while I do think a psych evaluation could at least better pinpoint a way to help Kousuke, that’s not the kind of test that Hansuke could have run while he was out.

But what could be gleaned from simple labwork and urine analysis? If what Kousuke is dealing with is his stress levels and his response to internalized fears and jealousy resulting in paranoia, if it’s his body’s reaction to dealing with a past trauma, if it’s his body shutting down when he can’t deal with something, that’s not something blood is going to show right?

There’s a lot of theories.

The first assumes both the rules of the mukoyoshi theory and that Kousuke is not, in fact, Rand’s child. It would go like this: because Rand was adopted into the Hirahara family by his marriage to Yui, it means he is treated as much as a blood relative as Yui is, and because the family business passes through the males, it means Rand’s progeny are the next in line for heir. This theory can branch off a couple ways.

The first is obviously if it’s found out that Kousuke isn’t Rand’s child - but from simple labwork, would that even be possible? Unless Hansuke is checking Kousuke’s blood type AND knows the blood types of Rand and Yui, how would he be able to uncover the truth? But still, Yui would want to cover that truth at all costs, so maybe stopping Hansuke before he gets further and digs in deeper?

But there’s also the fact that if it was believed Kousuke was not fit to be CEO, that his mental state was worrying or they couldn’t trust him to carry out the necessary duties, he could be stripped of his role - and it would go to the next in line, and as a blood-relative of Rand, that would be Nol. Thus, it would be very important to cover up any indicator that Kousuke cannot handle his role as heir. While we know Kousuke’s stress responses are directly related to unassessed psychological triggers, it would be easy for someone on the outside to look at him and go “He can’t handle stress and he lashes out at people, he isn’t fit for this.” And I don’t think that stress response is new to Kousuke. Though we didn’t see it really take affect until Nol and Kousuke were working closely together and Kousuke’s fears and paranoia were reawakened, we can assume from what little we saw of Kousuke’s recollection of the night Nol was taken away that this was another time he reacted to psychological triggers and shut down.

@poisonheart pointed this out and it really put a lot of things into new light. It would also lend credence to Nol being unstable - ensure that he never stands a chance, that no one will ever think he’s fit for the role.

Anyway, that brings us back to: Yui cannot have anyone, and especially not Kousuke, thinking there’s anything wrong with him. It’s not that she believes he’s perfect and thinks anyone who wants to run tests is insulting. It’s that she knows Kousuke is not perfect and she cannot let anyone find out. It would be so easy for the company to swing to one of her sister’s husbands if it turned out Kousuke and Nol were unfit and she absolutely cannot have that. That’s HER fortune, that’s HER business and she will not let it fall into the hands of another man.

I want to make it clear that when I say something is wrong with Kousuke, I mean that when his triggers stress him out too much, he goes on spirals. I don’t think it’s something like “Kousuke is bipolar” because we can see clearly WHAT affects him, WHAT sets him off, and why it sets him off. I think, in an ideal world where it as easily possible, Kousuke was able to make peace with his feelings about his father, he’d be able to make peace with his feelings about Nol, and he’d be able to eventually reduce the probability of getting swept into these spirals. If Kousuke had no reason to fear Nol, to feel jealous of him, the intense need to best him at every opportunity, if he didn’t see everything Nol does as being an attack against him, as him plotting against him, as him trying to overtake him, he wouldn’t get so worked up.

I also think making peace with Rand and Nol means whatever it is Kousuke is protecting himself from, whatever it is that happened in his falsified memory, would have less power over him. It’s not that Kousuke would act like this regardless - it’s that he is actively responding to things that trigger these reactions.

I think I lost track of where I’m going lmao the point is: Kousuke is a direct result of the manipulation he’s experienced, and every time he experiences a truth that goes against the world Yui has gaslighted him into believing in, he cannot process it and it breaks him down. It’s a normal reaction! He’s not reacting like this because there’s something “wrong” with him, he is responding to high levels of stress and his brain wants to maintain the truth he knows. Certainly he needs therapy, but we all do. They all do.

And this episode illuminates WHY and HOW Kousuke remains trapped in this state, and why any attempt at showing him the truth goes awry. Kousuke doesn’t put his beliefs ahead of other peoples’ solely because he has superiorlistic feelings about himself - it’s because he has to, in order to continue what he knows.

Yui offering him tea is also a chilling moment, because we know the way Nol reacts to tea. He knows - he understands. But on the flipside, Kousuke doesn’t have the same reaction to it. He may even associate tea with comfort. I think this difference is VERY important, because Nol is aware of the witch Yui is, he probably is aware of the ways she has hurt him. Kousuke, though, isn’t. He still seeks comfort from her, and the tea theory, that maybe it’s laced, that maybe it is something his body responds to in order to placate him, is an important one. I don’t think this theory goes as far as some people think - I don’t think he’s being constantly drugged by his personal chef, for instance, nor do I think he ate or drank anything that night that would have triggered how he acted this night because a. Yui was surprised when he showed up to the party at all and b. Again, everything about Kousuke’s reactions are perfectly in line with the things that tip him off. He didn’t get worked up because he was drugged, he got worked up because he was responding to the dissonance between what he believes and what he sees, the stress of what Nol did and how Kousuke fears it will reflect on him, and his desperation to never disappoint Rand.

HOWEVER I AM very much on board with the idea that after very traumatizing moments, perhaps Yui has placated Kousuke with a special tea that would calm him down and interrupt the dissonance, something he would come to associate as calm and safety, and thus further push her goal of ensuring Kousuke only feels safe with her, that she is the only one he can trust and seek refuge in. Everything going wrong and then mommy shows up with nice special tea and suddenly he’s calm and all those questions have been tucked away, there’s a new memory in its place; that’s not how that played out now is it, dear, wasn’t it like this?

Something else about Yui worth noting is that she is VERY unhappy. There’s something so jarring and uncomfortable about the way she reacts when Kousuke tells her he was looking for Nol and Rand, that Nol has been hurt. That eerie smile mask of hers and how it closes in on her, that she came not because Kousuke needed her but she needed something from him - she needed to know Nol’s whereabouts, she needed to know where her scheming husband has gone. And Kousuke has no information for her. She is ANGRY but it’s also an opportunity to further drive that wedge. Rand isn’t here - not only does that mean he’s not here to check on Kousuke but it also means someone lied, whether it was Rand or Jayce, and it doesn’t matter which it was because Kosuuke will internalize it in the worst possible way. Why didn’t they come here, why did they hide their location? As readers we know exactly why - Rand is protecting Nol from Yui. But in doing so, it looks like he’s hiding things from Kousuke and he will not be able to rationalize it any other way.

Even his reaction to the fact that Rand isn’t here shows that - he’s starting to get worked up again, he’s agitated, he doesn’t know where they are and Nol was hurt and Yui is grabbing his injured hand and trying to placate him. There’s something about Kousuke’s “You don’t believe me...?” that REALLY hurts, because it’s all a part of her manipulation. He’s in a vulnerable state, he’s confused and instead of receiving clarity, Yui is muddying the waters. If Yui doesn’t believe him, does that mean he could be wrong? Does it mean that Jayce was wrong?

Again, in the end, he can rely on and trust only Yui.

I really love that we also got to see Meg and Jayce! What an unlikely duo! I have this hope that one day Meg and Kousuke can become unlikely friends - as much as anyone can be friends with Kousuke lol. I think we’ve seen that, like Hansuke, she is someone who at least likes Kousuke for something attributed to who he is, rather than chasing him for the fortune and power. I think that could have added fuel to the fire, but we’ve seen that Meg’s interest in Kousuke was rooted in him being one of the only people in her life to cheer her on, to make her feel seen and like she can do what she sets her mind to, unlike her parents who encouraged her to give up and go for something easy. I don’t want to downplay her harassment and stalking, because it was very much so out of line but I’m glad she seems to be coming around and I think from that, if Kousuke can ever learn to be comfortable around her, we could see a really interesting dynamic of friendship. I think Meg has a lot of potential to have a similar relationship as Kousuke and Shinae have had, where Shinae calls out Kousuke and tries not to let him push her around and make her feel small. Clearly there’s a lot of things Meg and Kousuke both need to work through and it’s not something that would immediately happen, but I think it might be a series of incidents that could build up to them being able to trust each other, maybe?

Meg finding the gift that was thrown out fuels that hope, at least. I know right now she takes it as Kousuke choosing to throw it out, but I wonder if we won’t get to see a scene where Meg mentions the gift he threw out and makes Kousuke go “Excuse me? What? I would never throw out something from Father” and create that little seed of doubt. That’s the biggest issue with Kousuke being caught in Yui’s web - no one can get through to him. But if that seed of doubt is planted, if could lead to Kousuke questioning the things he needs to. Because if she’s thrown out this gift, what else has she thrown out. What else has she prevented? What else has she lied about? Maybe he can reach that conclusion that it wasn’t that he was never good enough for Rand, but that she continued to make that gap wider and wider and to destroy every bridge before either Kousuke or Rand ever had a chance to cross them. Even if it’s not the case and she hasn’t actually interfered as much as we think, it still creates that doubt, because it still means she lied and that she isn’t the only pillar of truth in his life, and there’s still a question of what else he’s lied about.

I love that we get to see Meg hanging around that long, too. I mean, I’m glad she’s getting a wuber and will go home, but I just can’t help but feel like we will get to see a lot more of Meg and Kousuke - after all, just like her unlikely appearance with Yujing, they DO have a lot of mutuals, and Meg has become much more important to the story than anyone could have accounted for. Now that she holds the actual key to possibly unlocking some doubt in Kousuke’s mind, I think we will get to see more of her. Again, I know at the begnning her harassment was treated as a tasteless joke, but I love Meg because of how much we’ve already seen her change and grow, her decision to love herself and stand up for herself. I think in time we might get to see Kousuke develop a sense of respect for her, as he kind of has with Shinae. I like to hope that she might be able to eventually bring some comfort to Kousuke, in the way that maybe she can be someone who brings him truth and honesty. I don’t mean this as a shippy thing, but just in the sense that Kousuke is very much alone. Shinae has people who love and care about her. Nol has people who love and care about him. Kousuke doesn’t have that as much. Having someone who has your back is vital. That’s what makes it so hard for victims to leave - where do they go? who do they turn to? When for so long their abuser has been their only sense of comfort and shelter, when their abuser has made everyone view the victim as hysterical and dramatic, when they are left all on their own, isn’t that scary?

This isn’t a “they can fix him” thing, but rather for Kousuke to grow he needs to escape his mom, and for him to do THAT he needs to understand who she is and what she’s done to him. Hansuke is doing his best, but maybe having someone else on his side would be beneficial. These are complex stories and it’s not enough to just have someone at your side, there’s a lot of psychological recovery for Kousuke to work through - but it’s not as daunting when you aren’t alone.

Idk, I say it every week but I just. I have a LOT of feelings. I’ve really enjoyed the complexity of the pain train that is Kousuke (I took that from @poisonheart lmao) because it’s so well done. He is a man who has been manipulated his entire life, he’s felt neglected by his father, he’s been isolated, everyone who cares about him has been discredited, he’s been trapped in this web and haunted by his jealousies and fears and he’s lashed out every time he feared he was losing his place, every time he worried Nol would best him. Just like how tragic it is that Yui was able to drive that wedge between Rand and Kousuke, it’s tragic that Yui has been able to do this to Kousuke, that as a result of the seeds she’s sown, he’s grown up to be this kind of person, to do despicable things, to break someone so that they never had the chance to grow.

Nothing ever happens in a vacuum, nothing is ever black and white. Kousuke is both a victim and an abuser. Rand is both suffering from Yui’s games and a bad, absent parent. Nol was hurt over and over by Kousuke and still reached out, still tried to help, tried to bond. I think we absolutely have to acknowledge that Kousuke is dealing with something that is very difficult to escape, that is very psychologically damaging. That’s why we can’t look at him and go “I can’t believe a grown adult is acting like that.” There’s always more to the story, and it’s unfortunate that the pain inflicted on these characters has caused them to hurt someone else.

Rand’s misery led to him giving up and hurting his son, which lead to his son living with so much fear and jealousy that he hurt the only person who tried to reach out to him over and over again, which lead to that person hurting the people who loved him and wanted to help. It’s an endless cycle, and even though it begins with Yui, I’m sure she has her own hurt, too, that she’s turned on everyone else.

#I love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #Kousuke Hirahara #Yui Hirahara #Rand #manipulation and abuse cw #abuse cw #please let me know if you want me to use any other tags for this btw!#i think it's important that people know this episode and thus this commentary deals heavily with the discussion of parental manipulation #i don't want to spring that on someone and awaken their own struggles :(#this is also why i'm very adamant that we talk about Yui this way and understand how she operates and that this is not a case of mommy just #wuvs her baby boy so much that she'll burn down the world for him and that it's never been that way #and denying the abuse and adhering to this instead just further demonstrates how deft her tactics are #it denies the reality of kousuke's story and why he is the way he is why he does what he's done #we cannot understand kousuke without understanding how Yui has hurt him and what a damaging hold it mains on him #anyway i love this episode so much because it validates so many of my theories lol #but i really do feel for Kousuke and again i think that is the best part of ily #there are no shades of grey #kousuke's circumstances have affected other people in a terrible way #but i can still empathize with his circumstances #i can still wish for him to get out of there so he can grow #i can still wish for him to find real comfort and happiness because he isn't inherently evil #there's room for him to grow and i look forward to that day #i want the best for most of these characters

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