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#Stop Apologizing Audiobook
archangeldyke-all · 4 months
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Butch trucker Sevika? 👁️👁️
sugar......... your mind.....
men and minors dni
she drives an 18 wheeler across the country. she loves the job. it's just her (with little slayer by her side) ((yes i'm bringing slayer into this i love that little imaginary dog)), and it's always quiet, just an audiobook playing in the background, and she gets to travel and see places she never would have before. she loves it.
you work at one of those mega gas station/ rest stops in the middle of nowhere. your job mainly consists of selling people various snacks from the convenience store or checking out shower stalls for various truckers that come through or re-stocking the spinning hotdog rollers.
sevika stops at your gas station one day to fill up and grab some chips for the long trip ahead of her.
when she sees you, she's starstruck.
she's absolutely silent at the register as you ring her up, just flabbergasted by you and your beauty.
you seem to barely notice her, exhausted at the end of your shift. sevika's grateful for this-- because she's absolutely mortified by her behavior. she's never been this flustered by a girl before.
but she makes it her life mission to get you to notice her.
any time she's even in your state, she makes a long detour to go see you at the gas station.
half the time she goes you aren't even there. she ends these trips cursing herself for being so stupid. but when you are there, she promises herself she won't stop visiting you at the gas station until you tell her to fuck off or she makes you hers.
she quickly becomes a familiar face for you.
you always smile when you see her, asking her how her route's going. she answers honestly, getting tiny giggles out of you when she starts cursing out stupid drivers and the rain.
you think she's fucking adorable. she'd hate it if she knew that's the first word that comes to mind when you think about her.
sure she's ripped and handsome and looks like she could fuck you for days at a time, but she's always stuttering and cursing and stealing glances at you from the aisles of the gas station.
sometimes, late at night she'll come in and stay for a bit, just watching you work, making sure nobody gives you trouble. you always notice. you think she's the sweetest woman you've ever met. (even though you haven't really met her)
one night she catches you after your shift, sitting on a bench outside of the gas station and having a smoke. she pauses on her way in-- not sure if she should act like she really comes here for snacks or just give up her act and talk to you.
she doesn't have to make a decision though, because you decide for her.
"hey." you say, giving her a friendly smile and a wave. she gulps.
"hi."
"long night?" you ask her. she clears her throat and nods.
"yeah. how about you?" she asks. you giggle and shrug.
"the snow's got everyone staying inside so it was pretty slow. good to see you though, i was wondering when you'd come around again." you say, giving her a sweet smile and fluttering your eyelashes at her.
sevika melts.
you offer to share your smoke with her and she takes you up on it. you guys sit on the bench for hours, chatting and giggling and getting to know one another.
at one point, sevika walks you to her rig to introduce you to little slayer. the dog absolutely loves you (she can tell her mama likes you so she's on her best behavior,) and you think little slayer curling up in sevika's big burly arms is about the cutest thing you've ever seen.
at some point, sevika's phone starts ringing-- she's running behind schedule for her shipment. she apologizes and waves goodbye to you, and as she goes, you call after her.
"come back soon!"
she grins the rest of her ride.
sevika finally works up the nerve to ask you out a few months later. you giggle when she does.
"don't you live like, ten hours away?" you ask. she shrugs.
"i could drive here, like in my car. or i could get a delivery here, spend a few days here before i gotta make another. up to you." she says. you giggle and agree.
but when the big day comes, a blizzard rolls through town. you text sevika asking if she'll be able to make it, but don't hear back. you spend your shift depressed and a little heartbroken, missing sevika and knowing you likely wont see her for another week or two.
but as you're wrapping yourself up in your layers getting ready to go home, sevika's rig comes pulling into the empty parking lot. you gasp.
sevika comes tumbling out of her truck, sprinting up to you with a wild look in her eye.
"you're still here!" she exclaims. you let out a disbelieving laugh.
"what are you doing here?!" you ask, wrapping sevika up in a hug. she's just in a wifepleaser and sweats-- she hadn't grabbed her coat before running out in the snow to greet you. she sighs against you.
"i'm sorry i missed your text. i had no signal with all the snow." she says, bashfully rubbing the back of her neck. you giggle.
"you're adorable." you say, shooting up to kiss her. sevika's shocked against you, sighing against your mouth and wrapping her arms around you.
you guys end up spending the night in her truck, talking over chips and sodas, watching the snow fall and cuddling together on the little twin bed in the back, slayer sleeping on top of you.
it becomes a pretty frequent occurrence, even without the snow.
sevika will come by to visit you while you're finishing up work, perfectly timing her mandatory 8 hour break so she can spend time with you.
sometimes you'll take her into town and show her around.
sometimes you guys just chat in her truck.
(sometimes you take her back to your place so you guys can fuck in a bigger bed.)
but eventually, you and sevika are going steady.
it's pretty hard, with only being able to see her once a week and the two of you living across the country from one another. but on your one year anniversary, sevika comes to visit you at work when you aren't expecting her.
she grins at the sight of you lighting up behind the counter, barely able to contain your excitement as you check out the guy in front of her. when it's her turn, you jump over the counter and into her arms.
"what're you doing here?!" you ask as you pepper her face with kisses. sevika giggles.
"i got a surprise for you." she says, shrugging. you pull away from her with a grin.
"well, show me!" you exclaim. sevika giggles as she presses a letter into your hands. the letterhead is from her company, and you furrow your brow as your eyes scan the text, then suddenly, you burst into tears.
sevika takes it the wrong way.
"i can reject it, you know." she says uncertainly. "i don't have to..."
it's a permission slip, allowing sevika to relocate her primary location to your town. you giggle at her words and wrap her up in a hug.
"don't you dare." you whimper against her. she melts in your arms, pressing kisses to your head. "will you move in with me?" you ask as you pull away. sevika grins.
"i was hoping you'd ask that. nobody's renting around here." she admits. you smile.
"my landlord doesn't like dogs, but slayer's not really a dog. she's like a fiesty gerbil." you say. sevika laughs.
"i'll just fight 'im if he gives us shit." she says. you grin.
there's a line forming behind sevika, and her truck is burning gas as it idles in the parking lot, but you don't care about either as you lean in to capture her lips in a kiss.
taglist!
@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian
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pls give adhd tips that have worked for you 🤲
Oh I do not think we can say that ANY of the way I live this life is recommended, but:
✨ Attitude ✨
I blamed myself a lot for not 'bucking up' or "buckling down" or "just doing it"
It never improved anything and it makes me sad. I stopped doing that and I achieve the same about of shit but I'm happier
💩 Boring tasks 💩
It is simply not a choice between "get it done properly right now" and "get it done half arsed at a weird time while wearing a silly little hat, singing a silly little song and rewarding yourself with a silly little sticker"
Its either half arsed or it's not done, so I'm half arsing it. My apologies that your task is boring as shit, I did what I could to make it bearable and you'll be thankful that I did that (me to me about the dishes)
🔊 Sound 🔊
I have a bell in my keys so when I think 'do I have my keys tho' for the 50th time I can just shoggle my jacket and know they're in there
I set a 30min audiobook timer, I can tidy because I can't watch anything because someone's talking, when it ends I can guilt free stop or I can ego boost keep going, but doing it often enough means sometimes I finish BEFORE THE TIMER (unmatched smugness)
I sing the "got my (something) got my (that thing) got my (thiiiing)" song while pating important things like dog lead poop bags headphones before I leave the house
Work video conferencing filters out background music, you can just play tunes all day and it makes 'tell me when you can see my screen" silences bearable
🦄 One little thing 🦄
Every work day I set myself one task I WILL do today, it needs to be no more than 20mins with no pre work
No matter what happens that day I can take 15 and achieve one actual small useful thing and if I do I put a little "good job" sticker on my to do list notepad.
I am both the struggling student and the teacher cheering her on. I have the power to buy £1 unicorn rainbow motivational stickers and by God I will use that power to email Ken from statistics
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lauraroselam · 10 months
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So I wrote this weird book about queer dragons. It came out the same day as the other dragon book everyone talks about. It was a Sunday Times bestseller in the UK, though, which was incredible!
However, I'm not sure how to continue to promote this book--people either seem to really like it, or not quite get it. Or it just wasn't what they expected. Which is fine, no book can please everyone, and I knew I'd made some unusual craft choices that was going to make it more marmite. (Or, as my brain tells me at midnight, I'm just a bad writer). However, there's that librarian saying "every book its reader" and the people who love this book REALLY love it, and that makes me so happy. So I decided to write this post and explain its weirdness and lay out what you can expect if you do pick it up. Maybe you're my kind of odd, too. :-)
Short pitch: 800 years ago, dragons and humans were bonded, then humans were dicks, stole the dragons' magic, and banished them to a dying world. But humans have short memories, forgot, and now worship dragons as gods. The dragon "gods" remember, and they do not forgive.
Thief Arcady steals their grandsire's stone seal (which helps them funnel magic) from their tomb. Their grandsire supposedly released a magical plague that killed a proportion of society, and Arcady is locked out of society as a result. They perform a spell to rewrite the seal to have a new identity as they want to go to university at the Citadel and also clear their family's name. Problem? The spell also accidentally calls through Everen, the last male dragon, trapped in human form. Everen has been foretold to save his kind, and now he has a chance: he just has to convince one little human to trust him mind, body, and soul, and then kill them. Then he'll be able to steal the human's magic back, rip a hole in the Veil, and the dragons can return. Good news for dragons, less good news for humans. As you might expect: this does not go to plan. Because emotions.
Grab it now. (Note: there's still a contractual delay so it's not available in US audiobook yet, annoyingly. Hopefully soon). (If you are like "weird queer dragons?! Sign me up" but aren't interested in hearing why the author has made certain decisions and want to go into the text cold, stop here! Death of the author/birth of the reader, etc. Otherwise, carry on.)
You should pick up Dragonfall if:
You like experimental narrative positions! It's all collected by an unnamed archivist who has access to both first person narratives (Arcady, the genderfluid human thief, Everen the hot dragon) and can scry into the past and draw out third person narratives (Sorin, hot priest assassin. Cassia, Everen's sister, who is also hot. Spoiler: everyone in this book is hot). Then to make it even weirder, Everen's bits are technically in first person direct address, so he's writing it all to Arcady (the first chapter ends with: "For that human was, of course, you. And this is our story, Arcady.") I ended up writing it this way for a few reasons, even though it probably would have been simpler to just stick to straight up third throughout, like most epic fantasy does. The big one is that Arcady is genderfluid and uses any pronouns (I tend to default to they when I talk about them outside of the text), and constantly gendering them in the text felt wrong whether I used he, she, or they. This way bypasses that a lot in the first volume, so it's up to the reader to make up their own mind. I also just really love first person direct address as a narrative position. It can be a little confronting, and it makes Everen the dragon sound a bit more predatory at the start. But it's also quite intimate. Is he writing his sections as an apology, or a love letter? Both? You find out at the end. So if your green flag books are: The Fifth Season, The Raven Tower, or Harrow the Ninth, this might also be your jam.
You love classic 90s fantasy. This is in many ways an homage to all the stuff I read growing up: Robin Hobb and the Realm of the Elderlings (the book is dedicated to Hobb in particular), the Dragonriders of Pern, Tad Williams, Lynn Flewelling, Robert Jordan, Mercedes Lackey, Tamora Pierce, etc. But I wanted to give it a more modern twist. I'm NB and growing up I didn't see a lot of queerness in fantasy, and I clung to the examples I did find (Vanyel, the Fool). Also, not 90s fantasy, but I also freaking loved Seraphina by Rachel Hartman and Priory of the Orange Tree, so those were influences too.
You're not put off by Worldbuilding(TM) and a slower pace. Probably because I grew up on the likes of Tad Williams, I honestly love slow-paced fantasy. I love to luxuriate in a world and take my time getting to know a made up world. In Assassin's Quest it takes over 100 pages for Fitz to leave the forest. Love it. I have a more lyrical writing style, I guess, and I'm pretty descriptive. My stuff always tends to start off slower, set the stage, and then ramps up the pace as we get further along. So yes, my book starts out with some infodumping, depending on your tolerance level of that sort of thing. I worked with a linguist and they made a conlang for the dragon language (hi @seumasofur). There's a map by Deven Rue (cartographer for Critical Role). I got nerdy.
You love queernorm fantasy! This is set in a world where it's considered rude to assume a stranger's gender and so you tend to default to they/them. If you consider someone much higher in status than you, you'd capitalise it to the honorific, such as They/Them. Once you get to know someone, you tend to flash your pronouns to them with a hand signal, since a sign language called Trade is also a lingua franca in the world. 99.95% of all the dragons are also lesbians, BTW. Everen is the last male dragon.
You like frankly silly levels of slow burn. Everen and Arcady can't physically touch without it causing Everen pain while they're half-bonded. They may or may not find creative loopholes. But it's not mega mega spicy, if you're expecting that. I expect the spice levels will gradually go up as the series progresses.
Alright, I think that's more than enough to give you a sense of what you'd find in Dragonfall. If you're open to sharing this post so it reaches more people outside of my little corner of the internet, I'd really appreciate it. Whenever I do any bit of self-promo, I'm always so anxious and worry it'll get like, 2 eyeballs on it anyway or that I'm just annoying people by mentioning that my art even exists. And if you end up liking it, please tell a friend.
I'm loving the recent dragon renaissance! Long live dragons.
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bonkers-4-hatter · 3 months
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@sacredwarrior88 asked: Welcome back my amazing buddy! 😊 May I please request headcanons for Nana, Nobu, and Yasu finding out about their female S/O having PCOS which causes various problems including weight gain?
Hello buddy! <3 of course you can! As someone who has PCOS myself and is currently going through trying to regulate my hormones through my diet and medications this hits home. I hope you enjoy the headcanons hun!
Headcanons for a female S/O that has PCOS:
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Nana Osaki (I picked her, since it didn't specify which one):
She never thought about you gaining weight in the first place.
When you told her what your doctor said, she hugged you, not really sure what else to do.
When you start your new medications and your mood swings go in different directions, she doesn't take it to heart and will give you space and time for yourself unless you tell her you want her there.
She even cuts out her beer and cake so its not around the apartment in case you get a craving. She knows you're cutting your sugar intake as your doctor suggested to help balance out your hormones and you can't drink on the current meds you're on.
When you feel sad, no matter if it's your mood swings or just feeling down through this whole process, she holds you close making sure you know she's there for whatever you'll need.
Nana even starts making sugar free or low sugar sweets for you two to share.
Does her best to make you your favorite dishes that go along with what your doctor suggested. Cooking and baking for you are her love language so get ready to be pampered with delicious dishes.
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Nobuo Terashima:
Adored you with your current weight and doesn't bat an eye when you seem to gain more weight or stay the same.
Is initally confused when you told him you had PCOS, but tries to be a supportive boyfriend in his own way.
Knows you want to do some form of movement to help and he finds fun ways to do that with you. Through doing dancing games with you, to Zumba, even taking you to puppy yoga one day.
When you tell him it's hard to lose weight when he notices your weight staying the same especially with PCOS and its due to you having more male hormones instead of female hormones that hold onto the weight, but you assure him you feel better with all the movement activities you've been doing with him and that makes him happy.
It's hard for him, but he stops drinking and having booze in the house. He likes drinking and it helps relive some stress he has some days, but since you can't drink, you both find new ways to deal with stress like reading, listening to audiobooks and his favorite which turns out to be plants/gardening.
Does his own reasearch into PCOS and sees what vitamins and such would help you and buys them for you and presents them in a cute basket along with some new foods and drinks that go along with your changes.
He'll always be supportive during your journey with this and will help in any way he can.
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Yasushi Takagi:
Didn't care about your weight and never commits on it even when he can see you've gained a bit more. He lieks you for you.
Knows what PCOS is and figured you had something like that with the signs. To be honest, he already had things ordered like vitamins and low sugar snacks and drinks for you. He got them the day you went to the doctor.
Doesn't bat an eye at your mood swings and takes it all in stride. When you come to him afterwards, he'll cuddle you on the couch as he brushes your apologizes aside. He knows it's not your fault, its the medications and that's the truth.
Goes on walks with you every morning to get you moving a bit more and he'll listen to you talk about what's new at work, or with your friend groups and the latest from your doctor. He likes to see you happy and content like this.
Meal preps for you with foods that are packed with what you need and will give you energy even if its just for a little bit.
With your memory not as good as it was before the new medicines, he makes sure to write what pills you need to take and when on a whiteboard he bought so you can remember. He knows you can't miss a single dose of them.
Makes sure there's extra blankets and warm socks around the apartment. With your hormones starting to balance out, you're not hot all the time and start to get cold more frequently. He'll make sure you have everything you need and more.
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Teenager with generalized anxiety disorder and ADHD. Some time ago, I purchased some of those bone conduction headphones that leaves your hearing unimpaired so that I could keep quiet, unobtrusive music (think like, elder scrolls traveling music) on in the background of social situations to keep me from being overstimulated and to stop panic attacks. I have never had issues with paying attention in class or in any other circumstance as my hearing is fully present. All of my teachers have understood, and none have tried to prevent me from using it.
This summer, I started working reception at a clinic. It paid well, and I know my boss since I was little. The place has its own music, so I see no need to use them except when there are long hours with no clients in which I listen to audiobooks and the like. Just came back from lunch break, and had been watching YouTube. The headphones were on my head, but were turned off. I returned to my desk and had opened my phone to restart my wage tracker (I have to calculate my own pay) when my boss asked me a question. I had heard her, but her words didn’t process. I asked her to repeat the question.
She proceeded to berate me in front of two clients to “take off your damn headphones”. In defense, I snapped at her back, saying that they were off, and that my hearing was fine. Now she’s pissed, and I’m worried she’ll revoke my ability to use them. However, I refuse to apologize. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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zensations35 · 11 months
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A Sneeze Wav Audiobook
So, I've been wanting to do this FOREVER but I wasn't sure about the reception of it. But I spoke with a couple other snzfuckers and they encouraged me to do it. This is a story narrated by me with actual sneezing for the sneeze dialogue.
The lovely @sfblah has graciously written a short story for me to use as my first narration. This story stars (my favorite of his) OCs Abby and Jana.
Wav here, and story below. Enjoy!!
Normally, traveling down an empty road was business as usual for Jana and Abigail, but these past few days had been rather different. A typical adventure consisted of journeying to whichever cave or ruin the pair had heard of most recently, clearing it out, and then teleporting back to town with their spoils. Being forced to make the return on foot was the result of more than a few unfortunately-timed sneezes, each one causing Abigail’s magic to go haywire. 
“hhh… hih… eht’CHU!��
Even now, poor Abby just couldn’t stop sneezing. She straightened up with a sniff and a shiver, dismayed but quietly thankful that she didn’t accidentally cast a spell every time.
“Bless,” said Jana, looking back over her shoulder with a sympathetic smile. “Let me know if you want to take a rest.”
“I’m okay. Thanks though,” the mage replied, forcing herself to keep trudging forward. She sniffed again, giving her outstretched index finger a slow, firm rub back and forth under her nose. Just what had gotten into her? At least Jana had allergies as an excuse. Abby felt as though a hundred tiny feathers had gathered around her nostrils, and no matter what she did, they refused to stop tickling.
“hih… hehh… hhhh-! haa’SHUU!”
Over the last couple days, Abby had realized she could sometimes feel it coming when she was about to sneeze out a spell. That was frustrating enough, but the real danger was less that she would sometimes cast while sneezing, and more that she would always sneeze while casting. Pausing to rub her nose again, Abby gave a little sniff and an almost inaudible whimper.
“Alright, how about this?”
The mage’s eyes fluttered open to see Jana standing over her. Before Abby could protest, she found herself being hefted onto Jana’s back. Her arms limply flopped over Jana’s shoulders to steady herself.
“A-are you sure, Jana?” Abby finally mumbled after her companion had already resumed walking.
“Yeah, no problem,” Jana replied, brimming with confidence. “Now you can take a nap, or-”
“aah-CHU!!”
“...Sneeze on me.”
Too embarrassed even to apologize, Abby looked off to the side and dejectedly rubbed a finger back and forth under her tickly nose. Jana gave a chuckle a moment later, lifting her spirits somewhat.
“Bless. Just give it a few more days and I’m sure you’ll be over that wizard cold, or whatever it is you’ve got.”
Abby smiled timidly, flicking the tip of her nose up with the side of her finger before finally slumping against Jana’s back.
“I’m pretty sure a wizard cold is just a cold, Jana,” she said, punctuating her statement with a sniff. “And aside from being all stuffy and sneezy, I actually feel fine. Do you think I could be -” Sniff  “-allergic to something?”
Even with Abby’s weight on her shoulders, Jana shrugged effortlessly.
“You’re asking the wrong person, Abby. Just ‘cause I get hay fever doesn’t mean I know anything about it.”
“I just wish I could stop sneezing so much.”
“Hah, now you know how I feel.”
Abby straightened, giving Jana an almost offended stare.
“But you did stop! You haven’t sneezed all day!”
Sneakily reaching a hand around Jana’s shoulder, Abby stuck out a finger and began to tickle the underside of the orc’s broad nose. Jana immediately snorted in protest, scrunching up her face.
“Gnuh, Abby!” she snarled, glaring back at her passenger. “Do that again and I’ll… I’ll… hih’knxxt-Choo!”
The sensation of Abby silently giggling behind her made Jana hot with embarrassment, but she supposed she was glad to have improved her mood a bit further. As she tried to think of a clever, playful way to tell Abby off, she found herself slowing to a halt at the top of a hill. All other thoughts vanished from Jana’s mind, and for a moment she could only stare in awe at what lay ahead.
A town. Finally, a town! And a big one, at that. It didn’t seem familiar to either of the weary travelers, though given that it wasn’t in ruin or actively on fire, it more than met their requirements.
“Haha, yeah!” Jana cheered, taking off down the slope at full speed. “I still have no idea where we are, but we’re sleepin’ in beds tonight, Abby!”
While the mage was equally excited at first, she quickly grew distracted. That feathery feeling under her nose was back.. Abby withdrew one arm from around Jana’s shoulders and nervously scrubbed a finger back and forth across her nostrils. It quickly became clear that this wouldn’t be enough, and with a distinct tingle in the back of her mind, all she could do now was try to warn her companion.
“Jana, slow down… I… I…”
But, Jana didn’t seem to notice. While the hillside was beginning to level off, they hadn’t quite reached flat ground yet. The thud of each heavy footfall gradually faded away, and before long Abby had lost all awareness of anything that wasn’t her oncoming sneeze.
“hh… hih! Uh oh… Ah…. Aahhh…”
“Abby?” Jana choked, finally noticing her friend’s urgent mumblings. Before she could think to slow her pace, Abby’s resolve gave out.
“hhaaaAAA-CHHUUU!!!”
This particular sneeze was already enormous by Abby’s standards, but nothing could have prepared her for being propelled skyward by an accidental spell. The duo didn’t fly particularly far, but in the heat of the moment they both felt as though they had been shot into the sun. Jana and Abby both cried out in shock, and they suddenly fell silent as they plopped face-down in the middle of the road.
After laying still for an awkward moment, Abby rolled off of Jana’s back and curled into a ball. The orc peeled herself off the ground, face caked in dirt and dust though otherwise unharmed. She stretched an arm out toward the town’s front gate. Surely the guards were laughing at them, but Jana didn’t care, at least until…
“hh… hhhh-! knnxt-CHOO!”
Jana let her face fall back into the dirt, and then she too rolled over and stared up at the sky. Her gaze slowly turned to Abby, who was once again trembling with barely-contained laughter.
“Alright, you’re walking from here.”
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genericpuff · 5 months
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Cait comp'd her book to The Locked Tomb. THE LOCKED TOMB COMBINED WITH LORE OLYMPUS. NO. NO NO NO. IN WHAT WORLD ARE THESE TWO IN THE SAME SENTENCE. I NEED TO SCREAM.
Apologies in advance, but these are two polar opposite series and it's a joke Cait thinks she can combine the two without Gideon Nav manifesting in her apartment and throwing hands. Oh my god.
I won't try to do spoilers here because I think you would personally vibe with the series, it's right up your alley and I highly recommend the audiobooks, especially while drawing. It's currently three books and the last one (the fourth book) should be out in Fall 2024. The Locked Tomb is starkly gothic and dark (gruesome death, resurrection, body horror, weird twins, turbo cancer (an actual quote from the books), and so much more), full to the brim with horror, sci-fi, and modern-day political commentary, and is apologetically queer as fuck. I'm talking lesbian enemies to friends to lovers, I'm talking Maori-coded rugby player who loves to talk about her porn magazines while trying to keep her homeless chihuahua of a girlfriend from getting herself killed (said chihuahua controls skeletons), I'm talking using clever ways to sneak in memes, I'm talking loving the side characters as much as you love the leads and the author loves them all too, I'm talking Catholic guilt but make it sexy and gay, I'm talking a literal ghost shows up with a fucking gun. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's a series you need to re-read multiple times to try and figure out every little detail and people to this day are still finding out foreshadowing from the first book alone. There is no random lines or dropped ideas, every little detail is planned out and connects. It's great.
To compare a series made by an insanely smart and openly queer woman (who is also from New Zealand, shout out to Tamsyn Muir) to a series that obsesses over a straight couple down to making it a Blue Boy and Pink Girl, a series that acts like putting in queer characters are a chore, a series that treats sexual assault like a minor inconvenience at worst, a series that can't even plan a week ahead much less years, a series that is written by an immature woman-child like Rachel, is so offensive to me.
Well damnnn I'll take this as a glowing recommendation! It def sounds like something I'd enjoy. I've been wanting to get more into audiobooks so maybe I'll make The Locked Tomb my first stop ;3 If/when I do get around to it, I'll definitely let y'all know my thoughts! <3
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alexihawleys · 1 year
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Chenford + “What are you doing here?”
Lucy doesn't give him the opportunity to ask anything else – she pushes past him and walks through the entry way, patting Kojo absently on the head as she makes her way through to the living room. She realizes it's rude, but this is Tim and she's about to say something big, so she figures it's alright to be a little rude right now. She can apologize later, if he's mad about it.
God, she hopes he's not going to be mad about it.
She listens as Tim closes the door and makes his way back into the house, poking at his security panel before he turns and looks at her. His eyes bore into her back and she whirls around on her heel, pressing her lips together. "It doesn't feel like effort, with you."
Tim squints at her and she holds her hands up for a long moment, meeting his eye. Please let me, she urges him with her gaze and he takes a second, but nods in concession.
"You said I deserve someone that's worth the effort, and I was trying to figure out what the fuck that meant, because I...I put effort in, you know? I always do. I...I try to be what the person I'm with needs, and do things for them, and show them how much I care. And it occurred to me that maybe I've been wrong in thinking that is effort – because," she lets out a soft, breath-filled laugh, looking down at her feet. "Because it's not effort with you. It doesn't feel like effort, at least."
"Lucy-,"
"Let me finish," she nearly snaps, then recoils. "Sorry."
He smiles at her, tentative, maybe a little nervous – but underneath it all, it seems like he knows. She hopes he knows. It would make her life a hell of a lot easier if he just knows. “Go ahead,” he says, his voice gentle as he raises a brow at her.
“Thank you,” she offers, then presses her hands together. “It’s not effort with you. I...I think that’s why I didn’t recognize it, because it doesn’t feel like putting in work, the way people say it can. It doesn’t feel like I’m running myself ragged when I remember that you like that seasonal Thin Mint creamer and buy a bunch at the grocery store so you can have it longer than it’s out. I don’t notice I’m doing something when I pick a lunch spot you like more than I do because you’re having a shitty day. I...god, I went hoarse for a whole weekend recording you an audiobook because I wanted you to do well on your Sergeant’s exam and I didn’t even bat an eyelash. I like talking,” she looks up at him to find him smiling tentatively at her. “I really like talking, Tim.”
“I know you do,” he chuckles, nodding.
“I get that it’s not just that stuff, that...obviously relationships are more than just favors and niceties. But I can’t imagine lounging around watching football with you all Sunday would be a sacrifice. And I...I can’t imagine being anyone but myself with you, which is terrifying – because I don’t think I’ve ever fully been myself with anyone I’ve dated before.” Lucy stops herself, shutting her eyes. “Not that we’re dating. I’m not saying that.”
“Lucy,” he’s soft, a little closer than she expects.
“I broke up with Chris,” she says, hurrying through it. “Not for you. Just...not not for you.”
Tim’s breath is shallow and she opens her eyes to find him standing in front of her, staring at her softly. “What’d you do it for, then?”
Lucy swallows. “I want to put in the effort,” she murmurs, looking up at him with wide eyes. “And I think I want to put in the effort with you.”
“Yeah?” He can’t hide his smile and her heart clenches in her chest, beating hard against her ribcage.
“Yeah,” she nods, a wet laugh lodged in her throat.
Tim steps forward tentatively, his hand finding her elbow, cupping it gently before he slides his fingers to her waist. She feels her skin warm to his touch, blinks up at him slowly. “We shouldn’t rush it,” he whispers, and his mouth is close to hers. “I’m not going anywhere. Are you?”
Lucy shakes her head, her fingers reaching for his forearm, pressing into his skin gently. “I’m right here.”
Tim nods, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. Lucy shuts her eyes and leans into him lightly. “Good,” he murmurs, and she lets herself relax for the first time in ours. “We’ve got time, then.”
For once, she thinks, sliding her arms around him and letting her body sag against his own, time might actually be on their side.
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Wash Day With Matt Murdock
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Black!Reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: none what kind of warnings would I even need here hehehe
Genre: fluff of course
Summary: What wash day looks like when your boyfriend Matt surprises you with a visit
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***
The familiar knock on your door as you walk from your bedroom to your bathroom stops you in your tracks. Your boyfriend usually knocks in a particular patern because he knows how unlikely it is for you to open the door when you're not expecting company. You detour to your apartment door and swing it open for Matthew.
"Hey Matty." You say with a smile.
"Hey, I hope it's alright that I uh came by... are you doing something with your hair? It smells like that... oil you usually put in like once a week."
"I didn't expect to see you today but it's totally fine that you came over. You know you're always welcome here baby, and there's probably some oil on my fingers I just took my braids down, I was planning to wash my hair today." You tell him, grabbing his arm to lead him into your apartment. You know very well that he's familiar with the layout of your place but you like to use guiding him as an excuse to touch him.
"Oh- sorry I disrupted your plans I- I would've called first but I just thought I'd come by for dinner since it's been a few days since we've spent time together. I've been so busy with this latest case I-"
"If you're going to apologize for having to work darling you don't have to. You also don't have to apologize for 'disrupting'. I'm always happy to see you." You cut him off.
"I mean if you have to wash your hair though-"
"If you can entertain yourself for an hour, I'll be yours for the rest of the night once I'm done." You kiss his cheek.
"An hour?"
"Yes, I'm sorry. It takes a while. Do you want an audiobook or something?"
"An audiobook? Did you get new ones?"
"I did yeah, here I'll get the kindle."
"Just pick a random one for me!" Matt calls out as you head to your room quickly. You set up a book and pass it to Matt.
"Alright, I'll be back in like- an hour." You kiss his cheek.
"Should I order food?" Matt asks.
"Oh I've got a pizza I was gonna make but if you'd like to order something else be my guest." You say going into the bathroom to wash your hair. Between shampooing, conditioning, and detangling your hair the process can be pretty lengthy. On a good day it takes 45 minutes but if the tangles are particularly tough or you need to do multiple shampoos you could easily be in there for almost 90 minutes total. The universe and your tempermental collection of curls seem to be very much on your side today as you're out of the shower in just less than an hour. You wrap a shirt around your hair and dry yourself off before going to your room to put on lotion and find something to wear. You throw on a pair of sweats and a shirt before padding back out to the living room to Matt.
"You're done?" He asks passing the kindle to you. You pause the book that you'd played for him and set the tablet on the table beside the couch.
"Yep, just to dry it now." You hum.
"I ordered takeout while you were in there by the way." Matt says gesturing towards your coffee table where an unopened bag of food sits.
"Oh! Cool, well let's eat then." You say sitting beside him on the couch and opening the boxes. You hand Matt his food and utensils before tucking into your own order.
"So- why does your hair take so long?" Matt asks you with a curious look on his face.
"Um- I know I've pretty much always had it in braids every time we see each other but it's actually pretty thick and tangles easily so I have to take some time to work through it or else it'll get real bad." You explain.
"Oh okay, is there a reason you always wear braids then? Is it less maintenance?"
"In some ways. Doing the braids is time consuming but once they're done I can, pretty much not do anything to my hair for a while, besides oil it." You shrug.
"Are you- going to put it back in braids now then?"
"No I actually think I'll wear the curls for a little while. I like my curls."
"Can I- is it okay if I feel your hair?" Matt's question is hesitant. You've told him enough stories of people treating Black people and their hair like spectacles that he knows it can be an offputting request. You giggle a little at him, you're glad he understands the plight but feeling is one of the ways he can see- you'd never berate him for that.
"Well let me dry it a little first and then you can do whatever you want." You say unwrapping the shirt from the top of your head and running it over sections of your hair until it's not so damp.
"Is that- is that a t-shirt? Do you not use a towel?"
"Did you just- hear the fabric against my hair or something?"
"Something like that- why are you using a shirt?"
"Much like your sensitive skin, my hair does not react well to certain things and towels have a tendency to be too harsh. So I use a cotton t-shirt. Like how I wear a silk scarf or a bonnet to bed. My hair has very special requirements." You tell him. The bonnets and scarves conversation had been another interesting dive into Matt's cluelessness but he was nothing if not understanding albiet a little curious about it when he'd first slept over.
"Fascinating." He muses.
"The roots are still damp in some places, it'll take a while for the whole thing to dry, but it should be dry enough for now, just- since I just washed my hair, go wash your hands before they go anywhere near it." You tell him. Matt laughs but stands up and makes his way to the sink without protest. His hands are washed and dried a few minutes later and he's back at your side, gently threading his fingers through your hair.
"It's very soft." He mutters.
"Yeah, shout out to my conditioner." You hum contently. You don't really have many opportunities to have some play with your hair this way, it's actually very soothing from the right hands apparently.
"How often do you have to do this? I can't imagine spending an hour washing your hair every other day is practical."
"That's because I don't. My hair doesn't get greasy the way straight hair does, in fact I have to put stuff in it to make sure it doesn't dry out, so I can go a lot longer than a few days without washing it."
"I should really do some research on this stuff." He hums.
"What for?" You laugh.
"Well I feel silly having to ask you these things I mean- you shouldn't have to sit here and explain how you wash your hair like I'm a child."
"I mean the answers would be slightly different for everybody so the best way to find out about me would be to ask me. Like, I wouldn't go asking Foggy about how you write an opening. You're both lawyers sure but I've seen first hand that your processes are not the same." You shrug.
"I just know that being interviewed about your haircare isn't exactly an enjoyable way for you to pass the time." He frowns dropping his hand as you sit up to cup his cheek.
"Matthew, if I ever have a problem with a question you ask me, I will be the first to tell you it bothers me- but you trying to learn about your girlfriend is not the same as microagressions in the workplace. If you cross a line I will let you know, but I was well aware there were be things you'd probably have to be taught when I decided to date you. There are lines, you haven't even approached them yet." You say looking at him intently, he can't see you but you're positive he can tell.
"You're sure?"
"Listen to my heart yourself if you don't believe me but I'm being honest with you." You say.
"I'll still do some more research on my own I think." Matt says after a moment and you can't help but chuckle.
"Suit yourself baby. For now, you can tell me about the book you listened to." You say, leaning your head on his shoulder.
"Have you not read it?"
"No I bought it for you to read." You tell him. He sighs so sweetly before he launches into a synopsis of what he read. The two of you spend the rest of the evening talking, first about the book, then about work and from there it spirals outward until you're both half asleep shuffling to your bed and falling asleep. You'll admit, dating Matt wasn't necessarily something you thought would go far as your track record with white people doesn't lean positive but you know Matt tries really hard to make sure he's the best partner he can be to you; he insists it's the very least he can do for you accepting his double lifestyle, not that you find that to be something worth complaining about, still it's something others haven't given and you do love him more for it.
***
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arasnealashandr · 9 months
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Get To Know Me
Tagged by @wisismydumpstat, thank you! <3
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Last song: as of typing this, Dragonsong. which, is very much up there among the top of my favorites!
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Currently reading: I've not actually read anything is a while, mainly listen to audiobooks and even that has been some time ago. I think the last book I finished was The Last Wish (Witcher) for like... the fifth time because I love that series and cannot help myself from listening to it again and again and again...
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Currently watching: shows? in this economy? I joke, the last show I watched was either Supernatural ooooooor Babylon 5. either way, an absolutely fantastic show and I cannot recommend either of them enough!
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Current obsession: FFXIV. like, cmon. you've seen my blog, have you not? I've sold my SOUL to squenix and happily so. I picked up this game in January and have been nonstop going at it since then. I might do some Pathfinder GMing on the side (totally not in the middle of readying myself for tonight's session right now) and that is fun! but mainly its just FFXIV with no signs of stopping.
it might be an addiction, I'll get back to you on that.
•°•°•
Tagging: @poetikat @uldahstreetrat @arcane-circles @arinaxiv @scintillatingephemerality @alexissero @xmimiteh @swishysword @thefinalwitness
apologies if you've been tagged already!
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newtonsheffield · 1 year
Note
You don’t have to answer this, but I had another question (and I’m sorry if this is weird, but from your blog you seem like a cool, levelheaded person, which is why I reached out for advice/tips- idk, it’s just been a really lonely holiday season). Do you have any tips for getting yourself to do things you don’t want to do? Like dragging yourself out of bed or going to work?
Also, I think you mentioned you live on your own, so do you have any advice for filling your life with things that make you happy and feel not lonely? I have yet to live on my own yet (but it’s inevitable, later this year I almost certainly will be) but wherever I’ve been, I’ve felt pretty isolated (whoever I live with has been gone all the time/busy/there are days where I don’t see them at all). I’m just searching for ways to enjoy my own company and enjoy the idea of living by myself. I’m sorry, I know you’re not a mental health blog, I just appreciate your perspective (and I promise that I receive lots of professional help, just looking for ways to shore it up by asking people I admire)
Hey!
First of all I am obviously giving people the wrong impression on this blog if you’re under the misapprehension that I’m in any way cool and I apologize for that 😂
So… I do live by myself and I actually really enjoy it, but it does mean I spend probably… 95% of my time outside of work alone. And this is something that… it takes practice. It’s not easy to be by yourself especially when we’re under a lot of societal pressure to always be coupled. Even if we’re just with friends. And it takes a lot of practice to unlearn that.
And yeah, I’ve been grappling the last few years with the fact that my life is really different than the way I thought it was going to be. I… guess when I was younger I thought I would have found someone by now and I haven’t and I’m coming to terms with the fact that because of almost everything about me (my personality is I think a bit off putting and I am not pretty enough to get away with that) I probably won’t. But I’m not going to let that stop me from achieving things I want to achieve.
First of all. It’s worth noting that I’m an extreme introvert in a lot of ways and I enjoy time by myself. My first piece of advice would be: put on the TV, put on music, put on an audiobook. It stops the eerie quiet that sort of feels overwhelming at first. Even If you aren’t watching. Just background noise is nice sometimes.
My next piece of advice is: try going somewhere one time a week by yourself. Go to the cinema, go out to eat. For me at first, I felt awkward even going into a shop and ordering coffee by myself because it felt weird. So I forced myself to do it once a week. I forced myself to go to the cinema and sit there alone and watch a movie. I chose something I knew I’d like so that wasn’t a factor and I went by myself and now I can do it without feeling weird about it. Just do it once a week, and I promise it gets easier.
With regards to doing things you don’t want to I have to say the easiest thing for me has been having pets. I need to get out of bed to feed my pets. I need to take Greg for a walk. He needs to go outside for the bathroom. I have to get up. But the other thing is: Find one thing about going that you like. For me, it’s doing my makeup. I like that, so I’ll leave the house.
This probably isn’t good advice but if you want to talk, let me know.
All the best.
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miradelletarot · 5 days
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Hi! This may be weird, and if so, please just ignore this message. I was scrolling through the For You tab when I came across a post of yours where you were wondering about reading your fics aloud like an audiobook, but being worried about not being able to do the voices or get through the, uhm... spicy bits haha
I was just wondering, how would you feel about other people doing that? I'm looking into doing more voice practice (trying to kickstart a voice acring thing, sort of), I'm Dutch with an English language degree and can do a British accent, and I have... very little shame ^^;. Also, a very big Gale fan, if that helps.
Like I said, this is kind of out of nowhere, and if you're weirded out by it, please accept my apologies and feel free to ignore this message, but I had to ask!
not weird at all. thank you for asking! I'll be honest though and say I'm not sure. It's not even something I am sure I'll consider diving into anytime soon as i want to maintain my focus on finishing the series first. Plus...and maybe this is weird...but I am very protective of Sagora. She's my main OC after all, and as much as i hate to admit it, I think I would be a massive control freak over how she's portrayed/voiced. In a way, she's as much a part of myself as she is a separate entity if that makes sense. I just have a very big emotional attachment to her, and I think I would honestly be a freak about it lol
But truly. thank you for asking. I'm honored. I wish you the very best luck with your career. Don't stop trying. Don't give up on that dream.
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little situation | part 3.
Summary: For years, HYDRA had been trying to use the samples of Steve’s DNA to make another super-soldier. They finally succeed and when S.H.I.E.L.D. breaks her out, Cap is forced to come face to face with his kid and figure out parenting on an Avengers’ lifestyle.
Warnings: maybe potential childhood trauma but nothing really
Pairing: Steve Rogers x blackdaughter!reader, avengers x child!reader
Word Count: 2.4k
Previous Part | (Series Masterlist) 
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While Steve was so close to getting his license, a week was not enough despite how hard he tried. So Nat picked you both up and the three of you headed to S.H.I.E.L.D. Your backpack was filled with supplies and a change of clothes. Steve tried to put his foot down but like Nat predicted, they wanted you in training. However, they could only manage to squeeze out two hours in the gym.
Steve threatened to snap someone’s neck if they did more or even thought about taking you to the shooting range. He also had the second condition that they moved his training schedule up earlier so he could be in the gym at the same time you were.
“Okay, Miss Rogers, we’ll start you off light today. Just tests to find your baseline.”
Steve watched from the corner of his eye while he did his own training. The trainer sent you to wash up in the locker rooms and walked over to where he was running on the treadmill— his attempt to makeup for his lack of morning run.
“Captain. Miss Rogers’ test yielded interesting results.”
“Interesting?”
“Every single one of her scores is exactly one-fourth of yours.”
“What does that mean for Sarah?”
“Whether she gets better or not, Miss Rogers for a girl her age is peak human, dare I say super like you.”
Steve finished his run and left to go change in the locker rooms. You waited outside so he tried to be as quick as possible. The trainer’s words weighed heavy on him. There was something unspoken but he knew it. He knew it when Nat had said it. You were more than likely going to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Steve led you to his office.
Desk work, not something he liked but for this week he was grateful. He still had to figure out school for you which, based on your talks sometimes, might be tutoring. In this moment he wished he knew Elise, had some insight into how smart she was really was. Bruce Banner, IQ 180. Tony Stark, 189. Your mother, Elise, IQ 193. Steve Rogers wasn’t stupid by any means but he was also not close to 180.
And then after figuring out school, he was going to need to figure out a babysitter for when he went on missions. He had considered asking his neighbor but then the nurse would start to ask questions about his job. And what if he found himself gone for weeks instead of a simple few days? Steve was stressed. He honestly would rather be back on the day Peggy walked in on that one woman making out with him. Dodging bullets from Peggy Carter seemed a lot less stressful than thinking of a babysitter for his genius child.
Nat and another agent walked into his office with a mission report. They stopped in the doorway when they noticed you on the floor with red, white, and blue ribbons as well as clear plastic straws. They also heard the audiobook about space, that Steve had tuned out by this point, playing loudly from his computer. Steve looked up and stepped out of the office, closing the door.
“She’s making an icosidodecahedron… I know, just go with it. She thought it was pretty. Is that from the Mexico mission?”
“No, the Candian border. Mexico is actually still there, said they need a few more days.”
“We’re pulling them out if it takes over three days. I rather lose our lead than some agents.”
He looked behind him as he heard the door open. When you saw him and the other two still there, you immediately apologized and slammed the door shut. Steve held up a finger to Nat and the other agent before opening the door and beckoning you over. Steve bent down when you didn’t speak right away, putting himself below you to make you feel safer. He just had a feeling that one wrong thing was going to start the water works again.
“What made you feel like you had to close the door?”
“I wanted to ask but you were talking. I didn’t mean to…”
“Hey, what did I say last week?”
“We’re not with HYDRA anymore.”
“So what do you want, Sarah?”
“I got hungry.”
Steve had to stop himself from laughing. He stood up and pointed you down the hall.
“You see the elevator? Press the button labelled ‘LL’, cafeteria’s on the right.”
The three adults watched you walk down the hall and get into the elevator. Nat was going to say something and then decided against it. The way you and Steve reacted to each other on pins and needles, she didn’t want one of her side comments— even a compliment— to make Steve doubt that he could parent. So she went back to discussing the mission report.
“And the kid’s going to need to be watched. They’re requesting you on this upcoming one, four days. You leave this weekend.”
“Can you?”
“I’ll be in Moscow.”
“Okay, I’ll figure it out.”
When you came back, you said nothing as you set the can of soda and salad on Steve’s desk before sitting down at the single chair on the other side of the desk. Since you said nothing, he didn’t mention it either. He also didn’t mention that he actually wasn’t hungry and popped open the tab on the soda can anyway.
~~
“Hey kiddo!” Clint greeted you happily at the airport despite the ungodly early hour that it was.
“Thank you again, Clint,” Steve said as he placed your small suitcase in your hand.
“No problem, I said any time.”
“I’ll see you in four days, Sarah.”
“Okay Ste— Da— Bye.”
“Bye.”
Clint watched you sigh as Steve walked away. You immediately took out the hearing aids and tucked them in your hoodie pocket. He understood and so he just scooped up your suitcase and led you through security, letting you sit in the silence that you wanted now that Steve was gone. When the plane landed, Clint drove for what felt like eternity to you.
As he left the airport area and it got more rural you seemed to perk up. Clint watched you stare in amazement out the window. You rolled it down and slipped in your aids to hear the nature sounds around you. Clint’s heart almost broke when he realized you had never seen any of this in real life. You were kept at a HYDRA facility and it’s not like D.C. was full of farms.
“Laura! Our little situation’s here,” Clint called as you entered the house.
Right away, his wife came from downstairs to greet you. Clint’s two children were there shortly after. You were shown the guest room and told to wash up for breakfast. As breakfast was coming to an end, Clint tried to bring you into the conversation since you had silently listened to the family talk.
“Steve said you’re making an icosi— icosi— what is it?”
“Icosidodecahedron.”
“Yeah, that.”
“That sounds fun,” Laura offered, not really knowing what you were talking about.
“We’re making it out of straws and ribbon.”
“Did you bring any of it with you? Maybe Coop and Lila want to help?”
The kids agreed and you smiled as the three of you jumped up and headed to the guest rooms for the ribbon and straws. Clint and Laura exchanged looks when you walked away. Was this the first time you interacted with children close to your age?
Lila and Cooper helped you make the triangles and pentagons until Cooper got bored and suggested you play outside. Cooper set up the bases while Lila dug through the garage for what they were looking for. You stood there, not knowing how to help. Lila taught you the very basic rules of how to play baseball. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to always catch or let them win so you did half and half. Sometimes catching the ball after Cooper hit it and sometimes letting it go.
“Alright, Sarah. Your turn to pitch. I’ll bat and then when you bat, Lila will pitch.”
“I just throw it at the bat?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
It seemed simple enough. You went to mimic Cooper’s stance when he was pitching to Lila. You geared up and threw the ball. The loud crack rang out as the ball you threw completely shattered the wooden bat as it made contact, the splinters barely missing the boy. You dropped the baseball glove and started apologizing while backing away.
“Clint’s going to kill me. He’s going to be so mad” you thought before turning on your heels and running, ignoring the shouts of Lila and Cooper.
All you could think about was how mad everyone would be. And the panic only got worse when you heard Clint and Laura calling for you. So you kept running until you reached the lake edge. Sitting down, you took out your hearing aids and prayed that you wouldn’t be found.
Clint began pacing the house and even Laura couldn’t get him to sit down.
“I had one job, watch Steve’s kid. I told him that we could’ve taken her if he wasn’t ready and I lost the kid.”
“Clint, we’ll find her.”
“It’s getting dark. I’m going back out.”
Clint grabbed his phone and a flashlight. There was no way you’d run off of the property, right? He headed to the edge and spotted you, dangerously close to the lake edge. He called out your name and you barely turned to your left. Clint sat down next to you and waited patiently until you put the hearing aids back in. He could talk to you and focus mainly on your left ear but he knew that it would be easier for you if you could read his lips and it was too dark for that.
“Gave us quite a scare, kiddo.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to break it, I swear I wasn’t tr— please don’t tell my dad.”
“Sarah, relax. It was an accident. But you can’t run off like that, okay? That made us very worried. And I’ve got to tell Steve, but he won’t be mad either.”
“Promise?”
“Promise. We have dinner being made if you’re hungry.”
~~
Steve slumped back to the crusty motel room after the second day of stakeout. He was tempted to not even shower as he flopped on the bed when his eyes flashed open. Sarah. He hadn’t called you and it was already the second day. Steve still had to remember there was someone else he was responsible for now. He sat up and wiped his face before grabbing his phone.
“Hi, Sarah, did I wake you up?”
He hadn’t accounted for the time difference. You nodded and yawned, grabbing one hearing aid and sticking it in.
“Sorry, I can let you go back to sleep.”
“It’s okay.”
“You don’t sound okay.”
“I broke a baseball bat yesterday,” you mumbled.
“What?”
“I broke a baseball bat.” You decided you wanted to tell Steve before Clint did because you didn’t believe that he wouldn’t be mad.
“What happened?”
“We were playing baseball and they told me to throw and it hit the bat.”
“And the bat just shattered?”
You nodded. Steve watched your hand snake up to the hearing aid, ready to turn it off so the yelling would be harder to hear. He quickly spoke before you did anything.
“Accidents happen. I accidentally broke the window of a wedding shop running down the street.”
Your hand fell to your side and you looked at him in surprise.
“Yeah. It happens. We’ll buy Clint a new bat. Are you having fun?”
You nodded and proceeded to talk his ear off about the outside drive on the way to the farm. Steve’s eyes were getting heavy but he kept them open. You seemed to get very excited and come out of your shell when explaining things to him before immediately shutting down again. He caught your yawn and used this time to cut you both off.
“Someone’s tired. Okay, Sarah, I’ll let you get back to sleep. See you in two days, alright?”
“Alright, bye.”
(Part 4)...
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cauldronoflove · 6 months
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JJ, my favorite nonfiction reader, I seek advice! I've been trying to branch out in my nonfiction reading journey which to this point has been celebrity memoirs and true crime primarily, and I've been stuck on my current read for MONTHS. I just don't know how to tell when I should keep pushing through in order to learn something and when I should throw in the towel because it's actually just a bad book and not me giving in to the urge to read something I don't have to actually think about
bec i have absolutely no idea how long this has been in my askbox because tumblr never notified me my apologies 😭 feel free to ignore if this isnt needed
i think one of the biggest things when you're trying to get into any new-to-you genre, but especially something like denser nonfic, is picking something youre really really interested in and using that interest to acclimate yourself to the style and expectations of the genre. like there are some key differences in what, for example, a high sci-fi author expects their reader to bring in with them in terms of mentality and knowledge vs what a meticulous biographer expects, but there are still so many areas of overlap too and you have to let the dials adjust as they may
that said like any genre god love 'em sometimes the book is just ass and no amount of acclimation can change that. some key points to look out for in nonfic are a) are you noticing a lot of repetitive information and dont feel like youre learning anything new or the narrative isnt progressing b) do you find yourself thinking 'thats just the authors really bad opinion how did they even get that into this format' a lot or c) does your disinterest/distaste outweigh what you should conceivably be leaving this book with
if you really want to finish the book out of genuine interest or even just spite, try picking up the audiobook if its available bc i do find that helps me if something just isnt clicking and sometimes getting that human intonation helps greatly. if it isnt or you dont do audiobooks, pick a small amount of pages to read every day until you finish it. 5 pages or 10 or whatever (though for the purpose of this exercise i wouldnt go more than 20) and then stick to it. by giving yourself a sure start- and stopping point it alleviates a lot of the dread and also is a nice little accomplishment for the day. and if you end up wanting to read a couple more pages to finish a chapter or just put a bow on the author's current thoughtline, even better. for that reason i find that setting a specific time period like "oh i'll read this for 10 minutes or 20 minutes" or whatever does not work bc i zone out so much all the time when im reading and if i do that in the time frame i generally feel worse at the end bc i didnt "get anything done". if something youre reading in nonfic makes you stop and think and consider what youre feeling or how it fits in with things you feel you already know or has you forming opinions thats good! thats part of the function of nonfic! so if it takes you longer to read a nonfic book than something you dont have to think about that means youre doing it right
and finally if youve been, as you have, slogging through something for months and just cant get there, give yourself permission to put it down for the time being. if you find yourself wanting to get back to it after a while, then it just wasnt the right time which is something i find happens a lot for me with nonfic. if you dont go back to it and the thought of having to makes you want to hit your head against a wall, then that answers that and you can move on to greener pastures
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theliterarywolf · 1 year
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He took his seat on the plane: a window seat with an empty space next to him in first class. A flight attendant walked by, her face squished up with mutters of 'fat-asses too lazy to wipe their own shit'. Jericho got out his phone and earphones; there was an audiobook of a hydrocephalus study that he had been meaning to catch up on. The flight attendant stopped on her heels three seats back and made a sudden about-face back to Jericho. “Is there anything I can do for you, sir? Make this...” She plucked at one of her shirt buttons before leaning in, her words a low rasp, “Trip more comfortable?” Jericho clicked his seat-belt. He looked the flight-attendant straight in the eye and said, “Gin.” “I'm sorry?” Said she, though it clicked after a moment. “My apologies, sir, but it's a bit too soon for hard beverages to be offe--” Jericho rolled his eyes and brought a fifty-dollar bill out of his wallet. He slid it into her exposed bra, right in between her tits, and repeated, “Gin. Now.”
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olivieblake · 1 year
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OLIVIE OH MY GOD I LOVE THE ANSWER YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IS YES SO MUCH LIKE SO SO SO MUCH. I loved each individual story and this book is tabbed an insane amount and sometimes there are 4 tabs per page- hold on I’ll include a picture at the end so you can see-lol I feel like normally I don’t show you because honestly no one should see evidence of my brain’s insanity but idk I feel like sharing this time? (Also please note I am Aries so just depending on my chaotic energy that day I will tab anything that I want. Sometimes it’s stuff that makes me laugh, things that I’m like oh maybe this is important, quotes I’m obsessed with, things that make me think, etc, I really just tab anything I want plus it helps me focus. I also just have some good old OCD that makes my brain decide that if I skip over tabbing something I even thought for one second should have a tab then the world is going to punish me somehow so then I must go back and tab it so that the obsession stops and the world (or at least the world in my brain) is at peace (love brains woo). This collection had me swooning at times, screaming at times (in both a OH MY GOD kind of way and an angsty my heart hurts kind of way), sad at times (I did tear up), laughing at times, and it just made me so happy. Anway, this book was truly the perfect way to end what I’m calling my Olivie year aka 2022 in general (I finished it on NYE it was perfect). I have not stopped thinking about this book since I read it. Writing this is going to be so hard because I have to leave out so many things that I loved just for the sake of space and time and everything, but hopefully one day I’ll get to see you on one of your tours again and talk your head off about it. (P.S please come to Pittsburgh for your TAC tour and celebrate in Libby’s hometown please-I know,I know you go where your publishers send you but still please)
I will say I will always have a special connection to this book (and the audiobook of LPM which I also listened to in December which was amazing the narrator was so good with all the accents and everything-refueled my love of Elisabeth and I still want one of the romance books on her and Jack hahah) just because December was an awful month on the top of an awful year and this book was really here when I needed it most. 2022 for me was a year of grief (it’s true what they say it always comes in 3s), failure, and just Murphy's law. Not one of my favorite years (I survived though as always so we are good now haha),but reading your books/watching your success this year were some of my happiest parts. I know I haven’t been here since the beginning or anywhere close to it but still seeing all your success made me so proud and so happy for you, you deserve it <3. I think fate let me find your books in 2021 because it knew I would need them in 2022. Enough with the mush for now, also you told me not to apologize about my rambling and I am holding my tongue not to, but I think I might make this one two parts-well three because Saints and Liars is going to get its own so if you have only time to day to read one part I suggest that one-to make it not so overwhelming (because I am incapable of just liking something to a normal degree)-but I should have said it towards one of the first ones please never feel like you have to actually reply to these they have always just been to hopefully bring you some happiness and appreciation that I hope you can feel through the screen more than anything. Also spoilers of course for any other people in the universe that may read this.
Oh wait I didn’t share but one of my best friends and I have a tradition of sending each other one of our favorite books of the last year and this was actually the one I sent her! I needed someone to obsess over it with me. She loved it too btw she texted me how obsessed she is with margoalec and cecilyporter she loves them so much.
Stone’s Throw: I was automatically intrigued just based on “trips and falls into another realm”. This felt very atlas vibes with all the dimensions/portals/ley lines. I just loved Salim and Jenny together, their relationship felt very soulmates/invisible string/the universe just drawing them together and you know I love those. The theme of them being mirrors of each other in some ways and two threads through the eye of one needle ugh I just love stuff like that I ate it up. From the moment she got the fax from the other dimension I was trying to figure out who it was from. My first thought was “oh wouldn’t it be cool if it was from his brother” and then slowly in the story I convinced myself that was not  going to be it, so I was very proud of myself when it was finally revealed. This story just felt so unique and I love jumping portals and alternate universes and stuff so it was so fun! 
-Some moments I loved: Jenny putting an exclamation point in her email to prevent herself from sounding as irritated as she felt because I do that very frequently too haha. The way you wrote how it looked and felt going through the portal was so cool I could really see it in my head and was like “woah this is trippy”. HOW HE WAS HER ONLY TRACE OF FAMILIAR AND THAT SHE BELIEVED HIM WHEN NO ONE EVER DOES. And of course it was your signature horny characters hahah. The title of the book and the story appearing THE BEST. 
-Some quotes I enjoyed/reactions to them:
“Whatever it was, it was destructive and cruel even while it was handsome. It treated flattery like a noose and wielded poison like a blade.” I just really like that line. I don’t really know why but idk it resonated somehow with me. 
“Is he yours?” AHHH
“Sleep was not an option. Jenny let her restless feet carry her elsewhere, to the only place she felt even remotely recognizable as herself” AND IT'S TO HIS ROOM AWWW
“His kiss, when it met hers, was fragrant with gratitude, lush with it. He opened for her as she had for him, and suddenly she thought she understood it. Portals and passage. She pulled him closer the way she would have sprinted towards something unmissable, a train leaving the station. She pried open the doors of his reservations and in response he was alight, whisking her off the platform. She felt the edges of herself blur with his, his sadness becoming hers, his loneliness cloaking her shoulders. She bled her hope into his mouth, her art, her practiced hand at beauty. She poured the meditation of her entire being into his soul.” THEM THIS AHHH LOVE
“Jenny looked up, catching his eye as Salim drank what remained of his wine, and the corners of her lips flicked upwards, helpless to a smile. He could feel himself smiling broadly at her in return, everything suddenly dulling to singular, undeniable clarity. I understand, he wanted to say, I understand now what it means to search, and he reached out, taking her hand and observing the way surprise registered on her face.” he understands what it means to search and it’s to her I’m emo 
“Jenny felt Salim's chest hitch at her touch, his sharp inhale errantly mislaid. "I didn't expect it," he said hoarsely, apologetically, and she knew he meant I didn't think we would be like this, two threads through the eye of one needle. She knew he meant: I would have liked to have offered you less, to have asked for nothing in return.” SCREAMING I LOVE THIS
“It was hard to explain what happened when she met Salim. She took one look at his face, far younger than she'd expected, and felt something she could only call a sensation; another sign. Some intangible sense of purpose, of destiny and satisfaction, absolution and relief. She looked at Salim Amrani and knew, somehow, that the answer to her question was yes. “ DESTINY AND HE WAS THE ANSWER UGH OBSESSED
"We are always only a stone's throw from collapsing into another form of ourselves, in versions of lives we cannot relinquish. Luckily, the world has a way of showing us where we belong." LOVE THIS LINE SO MUCH
The Immortality Project:
One of my insta friends that I actually made through our love of your books, Katie (gingko.reads), put in one of her posts about this story that “Vigilante Shit” is the perfect song for this story and I AGREE. Actually, I think Taylor wrote the song after reading this story tbh. We love reading about two women finally getting revenge on a world/on men that took advantage of them. This story was also so funny I laughed out loud several times. The legal document format was so fun and unique. I feel like you always throw in some unique formats in your anthologies and it always makes it so fun! Loved Saffron and Nikita’s friendship in this too, felt like it showed the power of female friendship very well. 
-Some moments I loved: LOL she is such a ranter but so funny (she’s me ❤️). I just have “YES GIRL GET YOUR REVENGE” in my notes 100 times hahaha. Her name on false papers to get out of the country is Cinnamon (omg just realized two spices Saffron and Cinnamon I love it!). The whole VIP thing with Dick being the VIP and the “naughty boy” things from Saffron LOL LOVE HER. And the employee telling Saffron her friend might have murdered someone and her just saying I’m not worried I’ve seen death and it’s not as cute as her haha so good. “We are advised not to die” hahaha. She thinks saffron drugged her but Saffron insists she didn’t hahahah. “Aggressively writing things down” LOL. HER WISH AWWW I LOVE IT SO MUCH WHAT A GOOD ONE, THIS IS WHAT I WANT TOO. Saffron coming to visit her at the rehabilitation center awww. Tbh I can’t tell if the story was really just a mental break for her or if the wish she did with the witch came true because Saffron has money now and is successful while the dick and all his friends are either dead or going to jail. I like to think it is the latter. The ending being that quote reemphasized ugh perfection. 
-Some quotes I enjoyed/reactions to them:
“Am once again sober although not for long, ha ha. Have rung Idiot 1’s private security (once lent her a tampon & now we are of course Best Friends) asking where he’ll be and she has informed me he will be in a meeting, which means he will be in a disgusting “ ”gentlemen” “ (double quotes for Extreme Skepticism)’s club.” “It has occurred to me since awakening to a vicious sight (i.e. my face) that perhaps seduction is a method better outsourced. Will find accomplice and report back soon.”  SHE IS LITERALLY SO FUNNY I LOVE HER SO MUCH
“Thus fair it is unclear where the project is based, though I assume it is a tax-sheltered island because billionaire fuckbois unimaginatively love island and boats.” LOL they do  
“Things don’t always get better, she says, sometimes they just stay the same and sometimes they get worse, and she didn’t really expect to do anything or see anything and now she has.” sad but so true 
“Therefore I will travel to what is inevitably an island and infiltrate it to discover the source of The Immortality Project. Once there, I will destroy it. I will destroy it with my bare hands, and then I will return to give Dick the following message: You are a small man and worse than that you are a mortal one. You will die someday though no fault of mine-I will of course outlive you because I am a woman and this is what we do-but when you do, I want you to know that I could have saved you. Instead I sat in the sun with a beer in my hand and I laughed.” YES
“It has occurred to me since awakening to a vicious sight (i.e. my face) that perhaps seduction is a method better outsourced. Will find accomplice and report back soon.” HAHAHA I love her
“I am taking a moment to myself to reflect on the fact that Dick has stolen my life from me. Worse is that I let him do it. Why have I always cared for other people over myself? Why have I nurtured a bunch of meaningless stocks instead of my own desires? It occurs to me that at least if Dick lives forever he will do something with his life, even if that something is just being egregiously bad in bed with women who don't deserve him. If I could live forever, what would I do with the rest of my life? I've lived more in the last three days than in the entirety of my prior lifetime. If I died tomorrow nobody would even remember me. The most important thing in my life is to destroy Dick for what he stole from me, which for the record wasn't my job. Dick stole my whole life right out from under me. And I didn't even notice until after he'd already fit the whole thing into a cardboard box for me to find outside my office.” ugh relatable 
“It infuriates me that Dick has wealth enough to ensure that a hundred million Saffrons never see another bad day and yet he clings to it like he deserves it more than anyone.” THIS!!!
“So I say the first thing that comes to my tongue, which is: I wish that things were different. As in, I wish this were a different world, one less dominated by dicks and idiots and shitbags and more rewarding of Saffrons instead. I wish girls who didn’t quite know their own power yet would not get swept away by boys who did. I wish a man could not claim all my success for his own, just as I wish he could not simply point at me and diminish me to nothing. I wish I had allowed myself to be a little more difficult a little bit sooner in my life, because it seems like only once I got angry did my life actually start to begin.” SUCH A GREAT WISH I LOVE THIS VERY MUCH
Here is the picture of my insanity as promised:
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-Amanda ❤️
well obviously I love the insanity (I always love seeing tabs, it’s such a wonderful compliment, like people who close their eyes when they eat your cooking, so validating) and I love that tradition with your friend. and I also know it was a hard year for you, and I’m so honored I was able to give you something that brought you joy. it’s nice to feel together in the ether etc etc
and thank you so much for your love for the immortality project! people don’t usually mention that one to me but I really love it. I mean, it was obviously super fun for me to write, I’m sure you can tell just by the style, but it’s really nice to see it called out in any way. I appreciate how attentive you are to every line of all my stories. thank you so much for the way you love my work!
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