Grey World AU - Visit from the Moon 3

Aaaand the ninth part of this AU. Things are slowly calming down...

Finally done it. A week later than I thought. But with this we have finished Moon's "little visit".:D

Could you expand a bit on the "death of expertise"? It's something I think about A LOT as an artist, because there are so many problems with people who think it isn't a real job, and the severe undercutting of prices that happens because people think hobbyists and professionals are the same. At the same time, I also really want people to feel free to be able to make art if they want, with no gatekeeping or elitism, and I usually spin myself in circles mentally thinking about it. So.

I have been secretly hoping someone would ask this question, nonny. Bless you. I have a lot (a LOT) of thoughts on this topic, which I will try to keep somewhat concise and presented in a semi-organized fashion, but yes.

I can mostly speak about this in regard to academia, especially the bad, bad, BAD takes in my field (history) that have dominated the news in recent weeks and which constitute most of the recent posts on my blog. (I know, I know, Old Man Yells At Cloud when attempting to educate the internet on actual history, but I gotta do SOMETHING.) But this isn’t a new phenemenon, and is linked to the avalanche of “fake news” that we’ve all heard about and experienced in the last few years, especially in the run-up and then after the election of You Know Who, who has made fake news his personal brand (if not in the way he thinks). It also has to do with the way Americans persistently misunderstand the concept of free speech as “I should be able to say whatever I want and nobody can correct or criticize me,” which ties into the poisonous extreme-libertarian ethos of “I can do what I want with no regard for others and nobody can correct me,” which has seeped its way into the American mainstream and is basically the center of the modern Republican party. (Basically: all for me, all the time, and caring about others is a weak liberal pussy thing to do.)

This, however, is not just an issue of partisan politics, because the left is just as guilty, even if its efforts take a different shape. One of the reason I got so utterly exasperated with strident online leftists, especially around primary season and the hardcore breed of Bernie Bros, is just that they don’t do anything except shout loud and incorrect information on the internet (and then transmogrify that into a twisted ideology of moral purity which makes a sin out of actually voting for a flawed candidate, even if the alternative is Donald Goddamn Trump). I can’t count how many people from both sides of the right/left divide get their political information from like-minded people on social media, and never bother to experience or verify or venture outside their comforting bubbles that will only provide them with “facts” that they already know. Social media has done a lot of good things, sure, but it’s also made it unprecedently easy to just say whatever insane bullshit you want, have it go viral, and then have you treated as an authority on the topic or someone whose voice “has to be included” out of some absurd principle of both-siderism. This is also a tenet of the mainstream corporate media: “both sides” have to be included, to create the illusion of “objectivity,” and to keep the largest number of paying subscribers happy. (Yes, of course this has deep, deep roots in the collapse of late-stage capitalism.) Even if one side is absolutely batshit crazy, the rules of this distorted social contract stipulate that their proposals and their flaws have to be treated as equal with the others, and if you point out that they are batshit crazy, you have to qualify with some criticism of the other side.

This is where you get white people posting “Neo-Nazis and Black Lives Matter are the same!!!1” on facebook. They are a) often racist, let’s be real, and b) have been force-fed a constant narrative where Both Sides Are Equally Bad. Even if one is a historical system of violent oppression that has made a good go at total racial and ethnic genocide and rests on hatred, and the other is the response to not just that but the centuries of systemic and small-scale racism that has been built up every day, the white people of the world insist on treating them as morally equivalent (related to a superior notion that Violence is Always Bad, which.... uh... have you even seen constant and overwhelming state-sponsored violence the West dishes out? But it’s only bad when the other side does it. Especially if those people can be at all labeled “fanatics.”)

I have complained many, many times, and will probably complain many times more, about how hard it is to deconstruct people’s absolutely ingrained ideas of history and the past. History is a very fragile thing; it’s really only equivalent to the length of a human lifespan, and sometimes not even that. It’s what people want to remember and what is convenient for them to remember, which is why we still have some living Holocaust survivors and yet a growing movement of Holocaust denial, among other extremist conspiracy theories (9/11, Sandy Hook, chemtrails, flat-earthing, etc etc). There is likewise no organized effort to teach honest history in Western public schools, not least since the West likes its self-appointed role as guardians of freedom and liberty and democracy in the world and doesn’t really want anyone digging into all that messy slavery and genocide and imperialism and colonialism business. As a result, you have deliberately under- or un-educated citizens, who have had a couple of courses on American/British/etc history in grade school focusing on the greatest-hit reel, and all from an overwhelmingly triumphalist white perspective. You have to like history, from what you get out of it in public school, to want to go on to study it as a career, while knowing that there are few jobs available, universities are cutting or shuttering humanities departments, and you’ll never make much money. There is... not a whole lot of outside incentive there.

I’ve written before about how the humanities are always the first targeted, and the first defunded, and the first to be labeled as “worthless degrees,” because a) they are less valuable to late-stage capitalism and its emphasis on Material Production, and b) they often focus on teaching students the critical thinking skills that critique and challenge that dominant system. There’s a reason that there is a stereotype of artists as social revolutionaries: they have often taken a look around, gone, “Hey, what the hell is this?” and tried to do something about it, because the creative and free-thinking impulse helps to cultivate the tools necessary to question what has become received and dominant wisdom. Of course, that can then be taken too far into the “I’ll create my own reality and reject absolutely everything that doesn’t fit that narrative,” and we end up at something like the current death of expertise.

This year is particularly fertile for these kinds of misinformation efforts: a plague without a vaccine or a known cure, an election year in a turbulently polarized country, race unrest in a deeply racist country spreading to other racist countries around the world and the challenging of a particularly important system (white supremacy), etc etc. People are scared and defensive and reactive, and in that case, they’re especially less motivated to challenge or want to encounter information that scares them. They need their pre-set beliefs to comfort them or provide steadiness in a rocky and uncertain world, and (thanks once again to social media) it’s easy to launch blistering ad hominem attacks on people who disagree with you, who are categorized as a faceless evil mass and who you will never have to meet or negotiate with in real life. This is the environment in which all the world’s distinguished scientists, who have spent decades studying infectious diseases, have to fight for airtime and authority (and often lose) over random conspiracy theorists who make a YouTube video. The public has been trained to see them as “both the same” and then accept which side they like the best, regardless of actual factual or real-world qualifications. They just assume the maniac on YouTube is just as trustworthy as the scientists with PhDs from real universities.

Obviously, academia is racist, elitist, classist, sexist, on and on. Most human institutions are. But training people to see all academics as the enemy is not the answer. You’ve seen the Online Left (tm) also do this constantly, where they attack “the establishment” for never talking about anything, or academics for supposedly erasing and covering up all of non-white history, while apparently never bothering to open a book or familiarize themselves with a single piece of research that actual historians are working on. You may have noticed that historians have been leading the charge against the “don’t erase history!!!1″ defenders of racist monuments, and explaining in stinging detail exactly why this is neither preserving history or being truthful about it. Tumblr likes to confuse the mechanism that has created the history and the people who are studying and analyzing that history, and lump them together as one mass of Evil And Lying To You. Academics are here because we want to critically examine the world and tell you things about it that our nonsense system has required years and years of effort, thousands of dollars in tuition, and other gatekeeping barriers to learn. You can just ask one of us. We’re here, we usually love to talk, and we’re a lot cheaper. I think that’s pretty cool.

As a historian, I have been trained in a certain skill set: finding, reading, analyzing, using, and criticizing primary sources, ditto for secondary sources, academic form and style, technical skills like languages, paleography, presentation, familiarity with the professional mechanisms for reviewing and sharing work (journals, conferences, peer review, etc), and how to assemble this all into an extended piece of work and to use it in conversation with other historians. That means my expertise in history outweighs some rando who rolls up with an unsourced or misleading Twitter thread. If a professor has been handed a carefully crafted essay and then a piece of paper scribbled with crayon, she is not obliged to treat them as essentially the same or having the same critical weight, even if the essay has flaws. One has made an effort to follow the rules of the game, and the other is... well, I did read a few like that when teaching undergraduates. They did not get the same grade.

This also means that my expertise is not universal. I might know something about adjacent subjects that I’ve also studied, like political science or English or whatever, but someone who is a career academic with a degree directly in that field will know more than me. I should listen to them, even if I should retain my independent ability and critical thinking skillset. And I definitely should not be listened to over people whose field of expertise is in a completely different realm. Take the recent rocket launch, for example. I’m guessing that nobody thought some bum who walked in off the street to Kennedy Space Center should be listened to in preference of the actual scientists with degrees and experience at NASA and knowledge of math and orbital mechanics and whatever else you need to get a rocket into orbit. I definitely can’t speak on that and I wouldn’t do it anyway, so it’s frustrating to see it happen with history. Everybody “knows” things about history that inevitably turn out to be wildly wrong, and seem to assume that they can do the same kind of job or state their conclusions with just as much authority. (Nobody seems to listen to the scientists on global warming or coronavirus either, because their information is actively inconvenient for our entrenched way of life and people don’t want to change.) Once again, my point here is not to be a snobbish elitist looking down at The Little People, but to remark that if there’s someone in a field who has, you know, actually studied that subject and is speaking from that place of authority, maybe we can do better than “well, I saw a YouTube video and liked it better, so there.” (Americans hate authority and don’t trust smart people, which  is a related problem and goes back far beyond Trump, but there you are.)

As for art: it’s funny how people devalue it constantly until they need it to survive. Ask anyone how they spent their time in lockdown. Did they listen to music? Did they watch movies or TV? Did they read a book? Did they look at photography or pictures? Did they try to learn a skill, like drawing or writing or painting, and realize it was hard? Did they have a preference for the art that was better, more professionally produced, had more awareness of the rules of its craft, and therefore was more enjoyable to consume? If anyone wants to tell anyone that art is worthless, I invite you to challenge them on the spot to go without all of the above items during the (inevitable, at this rate) second coronavirus lockdown. No music. No films. No books. Not even a video or a meme or anything else that has been made for fun, for creativity, or anything outside the basic demands of Compensated Economic Production. It’s then that you’ll discover that, just as with the underpaid essential workers who suffered the most, we know these jobs need to get done. We just still don’t want to pay anyone fairly for doing them, due to our twisted late-capitalist idea of “value.”

Anyway, since this has gotten long enough and I should probably wrap up: as you say, the difference between “professional” and “hobbyist” has been almost completely erased, so that people think the opinion of one is as good as the other, or in your case, that the hobbyist should present their work for free or refuse to be seen as a professional entitled to fair compensation for their skill. That has larger and more insidious effects in a global marketplace of ideas that has been almost entirely reduced to who can say their opinion the loudest to the largest group of people. I don’t know how to solve this problem, but at least I can try to point it out and to avoid being part of it, and to recognize where I need to speak and where I need to shut up. My job, and that of every single white person in America right now, is to shut up and let black people (and Native people, and Latinx people, and Muslim people, and etc...) tell me what it’s really like to live here with that identity. I have obviously done a ton of research on the subject and consider myself reasonably educated, but here’s the thing: my expertise still doesn’t outweigh theirs, no matter what degrees they have or don’t have. I then am required to boost their ideas, views, experiences, and needs, rather than writing them over or erasing them, and to try to explain to people how the roots of these ideas interlock and interact where I can. That is -- hopefully -- putting my history expertise to use in a good way to support what they’re saying, rather than silence it. I try, at any rate, and I am constantly conscious of learning to do better.

I hope that was helpful for you. Thanks for letting me talk about it.

I like-like you

AU: Zuko becomes the Fire Lord at an even younger age and when he finally meets Chief Hakoda’s daughter, he is struck by her beauty, power, and poise.

Or, Zuko has his first crush and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. 4.8k words

A/N: hi HAHA I’m still very dedicated to the sasusaku fandom, but I wanted to post zutara fics too now that I’ve been rewatching avatar hope no one minds T-T so obviously this is my first zutara fic hope it turned out ok!

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Zuko sighed as he dropped to sit on the foot of his bed, taking down his hair and removing some of his outer layers of clothing. He was in trouble.

Fire Lord Zuko, the young and pure Zuko who had been thrust into power after his father and sister met their mutual demise in an explosive Agni Kai. Zuko had sustained injury, resulting in his prominent scar, when he tried to put a stop to their duel. But the battle raged on, both family members too incensed by uncut ambition to listen to reason. Uncle had to drag him away from the scene to protect him further. It made sense that two of the strongest fire benders would be the ones to extinguish the other’s light.

Fire Lord Zuko, who wasn’t ready to take power and still heavily leaned on his uncle’s wisdom and support. Fire Lord Zuko, who was hardly an adult and still had plenty of growing up to do. Fire Lord Zuko, who was panicking at the strange feelings bubbling up inside of him — his first crush.

He had been notified that Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe was a formidable, but modest man and would be traveling with his two children as his main companions. The two leaders had yet to have the pleasure of meeting, so Zuko could not have predicted this, could not have prepared himself to be faced with the most beautiful girl in all the nations.

If someone had just told him, “By the way, Katara is stunning and will rip your insides apart both literally and figuratively, so watch out,” then maybe Zuko could have practiced his introductions more carefully and avoided stuttering like a bumbling fool.

But he was born unlucky, cursed to be...like this.

“Chief Hakoda,” he had greeted easily upon the family’s arrival, “I’m pleased to meet you and welcome you to the Fire Nation. I hope your travels were smooth.” But as the party drew closer, close enough where Zuko noticed the particular shade of blue in the girl’s eyes, he stumbled. “I see you’ve brought your...your, um...your family. They are also most, uh, honored. Honored guests. Your two children. Both of them.”  

Hakoda must have chalked his bumbling speech up to nerves — Zuko was so very young — and he chose to greet him warmly.

Oh spirits, he knew how to greet other leaders, but how was he supposed to greet...a girl?

Luckily, her brother gave a rather informal introduction and promptly asked where he could locate a snack or, if Zuko was feeling generous, a seven course meal. “Oh yeah, and this is my sister, Katara.”

“You’ll have to excuse my brother. If you’re wondering, yes, he’s always like this.”

Zuko was wary of sisters, he had been royally screwed over by his own. He was even wary of girls in general after seeing how crazy his sister and her friends were.

But he could tell immediately that Sokka and Katara were dramatically different from Azula and himself. His heart squeezed a bit at the thought of what could have been, but he pushed it aside and transitioned into the welcoming host that he had been training to be. He really was glad to have them there — it was a true benchmark of the peace and cooperation spreading across all four nations.

Thankfully Uncle, always there to save the day, came around the corner and offered tea like it was the most natural thing in the world. (And to him, it probably was.)

“How was your trip?” he asked warmly while guiding them in the right direction. “Not too bad, I hope. It must be nice not getting seasickness!”

Hakoda chuckled, “Yes, it wasn’t anything that we’re not used to. The Fire Nation is a bit far, but the journey was worth it.” Crossing the open ocean with his two children was really only missing one thing.

Pulling a piece of jerky from seemingly out of nowhere, Sokka joked, “Yeah, sometimes the water got a little jerky,” and then remembering where he was he became serious, “but nothing the Water Tribe can’t handle.” He took a bite of his snack and Katara rolled her eyes.

“Even when the sea isn’t feeling kind, Sokka and I are able to steer easily thanks to Katara’s help.”

Zuko spoke up, “Oh, are you a ship captain?”

Katara smiled at him, “No, I’m a waterbender.”

Duh. Of course she was a waterbender. But also, why didn’t anyone tell him that not only was she pretty but she was a waterbender too? Those lengthy council meetings couldn’t have included just a little debrief on this girl?

“Oh. That’s cool. I’m a firebender.”

“Makes sense.”

He needed to get it together before someone would be able to waterbend the sweat off his palms.

Thankfully the conversation was cut short by their arrival to the tea room. Surrounded by red, black, gold, and the smell of herbs, Zuko felt instantly comforted. As they settled around a low table, he found himself wondering what Katara would look like in Fire Nation red. Probably cute.

He was shaken from his daydream by his uncle asking the room if they preferred jasmine or chamomile. “Even though this is supposed to be an official trip, I hope you can still enjoy some more leisurely activities during your stay. All work without play makes your day become gray,” he said wisely.

“Tonight, we have a banquet planned in your honor,” Zuko chimed in, “but the meetings tomorrow should only take up part of the day.”

“I’d hope so,” said Hakoda good-naturedly, “this tea is fantastic and I’ll need some more in the coming days.”

“It’s Uncle’s specialty, I’m glad you enjoy it. We’ll have to give you a tour of the grounds.”

“Speaking of a tour, wouldn’t you say the garden is very nice? Rather romantic don’t you think? Why don’t you take Katara there, she’d certainly enjoy the, uh, water in the pond!” Iroh wore many hats: loving uncle, wise advisor, fierce warrior, and now, insightful matchmaker.

But Katara didn’t sense the awkwardness, her face lit up at the mention of water, as if they hadn’t spent ages at sea. “A pond! I’d love to see it! Oh, and I’m sure the garden is lovely.”

“Excellent! Zuko, why don’t you guide her there? I can show our other guests the weaponry.” This time, it was Sokka’s turn to light up like a firecracker.

While normally Zuko would find it very sensible of his uncle to delegate tasks like this, he was feeling a little resentful that he was forced into a situation that made him so unbelievably nervous.

Alas, he had a duty to perform. He stood up and gestured, “Let’s go.”

Katara made small talk the whole way, asking questions about the palace and its history and the weather. Zuko was relieved that he knew all the answers. He should show her the library too.

“Do you come to this pond often?” She cringed, feeling like she was dropping a pick up line, but she really did want to know why Iroh suggested it out of all places.

“Not so much lately, but I used to sit in the gardens all the time with my mother.”

She didn’t respond except to smile at him with a genuine, meaningful warmth in her eyes.

The garden was even more breathtaking than she expected it to be, and the glittering pond was just begging her to come closer. It was so lush and just different from what she was used to (snow, snow, and more snow) that she couldn’t help but let her mouth hang open in awe.

Zuko led her to the usual spot without thinking much of it. She gasped in delight when she saw the little creatures gliding through the pond, “And just what do we have here?”

“They’re turtleducks. They’re cute, but don’t mess with them too much. The mother turtleduck can be feisty.”

But Katara was only half listening, having fun making little waves to gently lift the babies. They kept swimming up to the edge of the pond, quacking as if they were saying, more, more, more! Their mother watched safely from the other side of the pond, but she never swam over to intervene. “They are really cute!”

“Oh,” he said, sounding clearly surprised, “they like you.”

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The dinner that night was festive and bright, but left Katara feeling pretty tired. While foreign, the Fire Nation palace was rather comfortable. After such a long trip to get there, the riot of new sights, sounds, and smells, and perhaps a little too much food all at once, gave Katara the sense that she’d sleep easily that night.

She had a certain amount of trepidation visiting the Fire Nation, but it really was nothing but pleasant so far. It didn’t hurt that the Fire Lord, rather than being old and stuffy and weird, was very cute. He was probably also, uh, really good at his job and at firebending. Or something.

As she settled into the fluffy pillows and drew the deep red comforter closer, she thought that if she saw him in her dreams, she certainly would not mind. She counted turtleducks in her head before drifting off.

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While Uncle’s company was normally more than enough (and on a bad day, too much), but the morning after meeting the lively Water Tribe family felt distinctly empty when they had yet to arrive at the table.

Zuko sipped his tea, not yet cold, but it felt like so much time had passed since he sat down that it might as well have been. “Where are they? It’s been...many minutes! Do you think they just decided to jump ship and head back to the Southern Water Tribe?”

“Patience, patience. I’m sure once the scent of breakfast and the greatest tea in all four nations wafts over to their rooms, they will come running.”

“Maybe we should wake them up.”

“Why the rush?”

“Shouldn’t we at least check? What if they died?”

“I would hope not.”

“What if a faction is conspiring against us and killed all of them — and will frame us for the murder?! This will launch another war that we are responsible for.”

“That would be very bad!” He could see the gears turning in his nephew’s mind, so he decided to play along to help placate him.

Zuko stood up abruptly, shaking the table, “We can’t just sit around and wait. I’ll check on Katara. You go look for the others.” He stormed out of the room before Iroh could even object.

Not that he would, though. Seeing his nephew take action was very pleasing.

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He marched all the way across the palace to the guest bedrooms, but before he knocked on Katara’s door, he stopped in his tracks like an invisible wall was in his way. Initially so confident in his decision, he was now filled with uncertainty. What would he do if he really found Katara’s limp, poisoned body laying on the bed?

Or worse: what if he barged in and she was naked because she was in the middle of changing?

He took a deep breath to center himself. There was no use in panicking. He could do this. He had faced more intimidating enemies, more foreign situations.

But the longer he thought about it, he realized he had never had to deal with a girl.

Best case scenario, she was in there with a great explanation as to why her family was late to breakfast and his nerves would be soothed like putting aloe on a sunburn. Yeah, he would go with the most ideal situation for now.

Maybe he should still practice, just in case.

“Hello, Zuko here!”

The looming wooden door didn’t respond.

“Good morning! Um, no, that’s not right. What if she’s having a bad morning? Uh, how do you do there? How is the Fire Nation treating you? Too formal, she’s not a dusty old diplomat.” His shoulders drooped. He needed to get this done before Uncle (or her own family members) came and interrupted him. This was his chance. His chance at what exactly, he wasn’t sure, but he was just going to go for it.

He knocked sharply, loud enough to wake any long-slumbering air bison. Just for good measure, he called out, “It’s Zuko!” And all his hemming and hawing and practicing was really for nothing because not long after, Katara flung the door open.

Without her hair tied back, it ran wild and curled around her face. Her eyes, normally so wide and crystal clear, were half shut and bleary with sleep. “Yes?”

“Yes! Hello. Uh, good morning. I just wanted to see if you would be joining us for breakfast this morning.” He added a little more quietly, but also a little more like himself, “I was getting worried.”

“Good morning,” she nodded. “What time is it?”

Zuko glanced around, “I’m not exactly sure, but the sun is up.”

Katara gave him a small smile, “I see. Well, have you ever considered that not everyone rises with the sun?” Or code for, firebender, can’t you see I’m tired?

He immediately started apologizing, feeling a blush creep up his neck. He had interrupted her hopefully peaceful sleep because he was missing her at breakfast. Nice one.

Katara held up a hand to stop him, then scrubbed it over her face to wake herself up more, “It’s really fine. We’re guests here and should be running on your schedule. I can be ready in a minute.”

“We’re hosts and should be more accommodating. I’ll leave you to it, breakfast won’t go anywhere without you.” He turned away, feeling a little silly for freaking out, but Katara’s voice stopped him.

“Actually, Zuko?”

“Yes?”

“Can you maybe wait here for me? I don’t want to get lost on my way to breakfast. You know, that would just waste more time,” she laughed awkwardly, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“I’ll be here.” He was still smiling widely when she shut the door in his face.

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“Your first full day here, is there anything else you’d like to do?” Iroh asked when everyone was finally gathered for breakfast. The meetings were purposely scheduled for after lunch when the sun was high in the sky and all the grumpy old advisors were in their best moods.

Sokka attempted to be casual, “Well I don’t know about everyone else but I’m feeling like I could stretch my legs some more. Like, sure, we got to see the armory and it was super cool. But! It would be infinitely cooler if we could actually, you know, play.”

Zuko lit up like a match, “We should spar!”

Sokka backpedaled, waving his arms around, “Woah, woah, woah! Nonbender versus Fire Lord? Do you see the problem here?”

Iroh spoke with pride, “My nephew here is not only a talented firebender, but he is also trained in the art of the sword, the dao sword.”

“So he can make fire and he has two swords? Kind of unfair, but not scary enough for me to decline. But no bending!” A true warrior never backed down from a challenge.

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While a club and a boomerang might not seem like much, Zuko quickly realized he’d have to keep his guard up if he wanted to put up a decent fight. And it had absolutely nothing to do with looking cool in front of one out of the three members in the audience. Wouldn’t any sister want to see her brother get it handed to him anyway?

By the time they threw the towel in, Zuko could feel the sweat dripping down his back. So much for being invigorated by the sun. It was reassuring to see Sokka crawl back to sit next to his father.

As he put away his swords and took a refreshing drink of water, Katara stood up, “Don’t think we’re done here.”

He raised his eyebrow, “Your waterbending versus my firebending? You’re on.” He was tired but definitely still had some fight in him. It would be dishonorable to refuse.

As soon as they started, Zuko’s eyes widened. Okay, so by now he knew she was a waterbender, but seriously, why didn’t anyone tell him that she’s a master waterbender? Honestly, you’d think this girl would have built up a reputation across the nations. Based on the wide-eyed palace staff watching from the corners, she was definitely going to earn one in the Fire Nation.

Giving as much as he got, they danced around in circles for what felt like ages. Katara was a resilient, dynamic fighter and Zuko hadn’t felt so challenged in ages. He didn’t want to end the match because he wanted to keep studying her. It was rare for him to be able to battle a waterbender, let alone one so capable.

But Zuko’s fire had caused most of Katara’s water supply to evaporate and she was running out of places to draw from. In a last ditch effort to come out on top, she quickly made a razor thin water whip and managed to land a hit on the side of his face. His fire faded away into shimmering heat almost immediately.

He didn’t see it coming — really, the whip was so thin and came on his scarred side, so he was mostly stunned when it cut into his cheek. Katara gasped as she saw rich red blood start to drip out of the wound.

Gathering what was left of her water, she rushed up to him and immediately got to work healing, “I am so, so sorry. I wasn’t seriously trying to hurt you, I thought you’d block it like you blocked everything else. I’m really sorry, Zuko, I feel terrible.”

But he harbored no resentment. It was an exciting match and he was still too shocked to feel real pain besides the soreness in his muscles.

And the cut had landed just beneath his scar, so Katara’s hand covered the bottom part of it too. No one had bothered to touch him there in a long, long time, let alone heal him.

“Katara,” he said softly. She was so focused on apologizing that she hadn’t realized the cut was long gone. Healing water was useless on his scar at this point. But he didn’t mind anymore. The burnt skin was less sensitive than the rest of his face, but he could still feel the cool relief seeping into him.

She jumped back, letting the water splash to the ground between them. “Right, sorry. Again.”

He chuckled, “It’s okay. I didn’t know you could heal. What can’t you do?”

“Uh, firebend. I’m no avatar! So that means I can’t earthbend or airbend either. Would be awfully convenient if I could.”

“Right, me neither. I mean, I can’t waterbend, that is. I can firebend. But you already knew that.”

“Yes! I did, I did. You can also fight with swords, though, and that’s another thing I can’t do. So I think a better question would be what can I do, you know?”  

Sokka, growing tired of their lame jokes, interrupted from the side, “So who’s hungry?”

Zuko, though worn out, wasn’t feeling particularly hungry because it seemed that a colony of butterflies had decided to occupy his stomach.

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After cleaning up and taking a quick lunch, they sat through a series of meetings that left Zuko a bit weary, but hopeful. The nations working together peacefully was truly a dream come true. He had watched wistfully as Hakoda encouraged and listened intently to the suggestions of his two children. At least Uncle always valued his opinion.  

Before dinner, the young man was finally allowed to have a moment alone with his thoughts, and they turned to Katara. He wandered aimlessly through the palace halls. Maybe he should seek her out? But for what reason, didn’t they just spend hours together?

The decision was made for him, though, when he nearly bumped into her as he rounded a corner. He reached out to grab her arm to steady her. For a waterbender, her skin was awfully warm.

“Oh, Zuko! I was actually just looking for you.”

“You were?” He couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice even though he was too, kind of.

“I had a question for you. The Southern Water Tribe is expanding at a pretty fast rate, but I still feel like we’re missing something. And I think it would help if we had some sort of library, you know, for future generations to look at and learn from. I’ve been gathering things, but most of our history has been told through oral histories. Would the Fire Nation happen to have…?”

It was a valid question, given the way the Fire Nation had plundered the other nations. Zuko nodded in understanding, “I can show you the library. If you see something you think would be helpful, it’s yours.” It was the least he could do to start making up for years of mistreatment. Ozai had done so much damage.

The royal library was truly worthy of marvel and Katara probably could have spent ages inside, but she had a mission. Without her needing to ask, Zuko led her to the relevant section. The fact that the library had a section at all was pretty hard to wrap her mind around.

“Wow, if I were you I’d just spend all day in here.”

“Yeah, I wish. But I’ve got a job to do and I don’t know how much a book can teach me about it,” he said with a hint of bitterness. He knew there were plenty who opposed his rule, criticized his every move, but he couldn’t hide from them.

“Well I think you’re doing a great job,” she said with an easy smile before pulling out a title. She gave out compliments like water, but it still felt nice to be on the receiving end of one. Despite it being a passing comment, Zuko couldn’t help but dwell on it as she scanned the pages. The sincerity of it struck him most acutely.

As they went up and down the rows, Zuko toyed with the idea of offering to carry her growing stack of books. Would that come across as polite or suggest that she wasn’t strong enough? Is it hot in here? Would his hands singe the pages? Do they have to be quiet since it was a library? Should he say something?

Luckily, Katara swung around to look at him sheepishly, “If you don’t mind, can I take these home with me?”

“It would be my honor if you took them back to their rightful place.” It was a good thing his father never decided to burn down the library.

.

Zuko’s eye sockets hurt. He had experienced a lot of kinds of pain during his young life, but this was a new one. He kept trying to look at Katara during dinner without actually looking. He couldn’t put his finger on why he was so interested in looking at her rather than something like his plate of food, but it was hard to balance normal conversation with the desires of his eyes, traitorous things.

It had been a long time since so many people he actually liked were at the dinner table. Of course Hakoda, Sokka, and Katara would have to go back eventually, but he would miss them. If anything, he definitely made some friends.

.

Uncle tried to get everyone to play pai sho that night, but it only stuck with Hakoda and Sokka. While their strategizing was admittedly impressive, Zuko just didn’t have the patience to keep watching. He noticed that Katara had stepped outside for some air, so he decided to join her.

She sat on the ground looking up at the sky — brilliantly clear with bright stars and an even brighter moon.

“Can I join you?”

“Of course.”

Zuko nodded and settled himself in a similar position to Katara: cross legged, face turned towards the inky night sky. While not the familiar warmth of the sun, the moon really was beautiful. He turned to look at Katara and was struck by the way her profile looked illuminated by moonlight. He noticed that her hand was up by her neck, playing with the necklace she never seemed to be without. She wore a thoughtful expression and Zuko had to take a deep breath before speaking again. Despite the success and geniality of the trip, he could imagine that her family had mixed feelings about coming to visit.

“Katara?”

“Yeah?” She turned to look at him. Another breath.

“How are you?”

She smiled faintly. “I’m alright.” She let her hand drop to her side.

.

Zuko shuffled into his room, feeling very ready for a nice night of sleep after such a long day.

He removed his crown, his hair falling loosely around his face like a waterfall. When he took off his headpiece, he was really just a teenager, not even an adult yet. He changed into pajamas and laid back on his bed, allowing himself to think teenage thoughts, ponder teenage problems. What was he to do about Katara? Or, how would he confront his feelings for Katara?

Zuko was, in a word, confused. He wasn’t sure what these feelings even were, let alone how to deal with them.

There was no one he could turn to; his options were severely limited. Ask Uncle? Yuck, never. Besides, he’d say something that Zuko wouldn’t be able to puzzle out until after Katara had left, like reading the tea leaves. Sokka was near his age, but he was Katara’s brother. When he asked Zuko for tips on landing “the Fire Nation’s hottest babes,” it was cemented that Zuko could not ask him for anything, really.

And then there was his greatest challenge, Katara herself. He couldn’t force her to return his feelings, and she very well could want nothing to do with him beyond a friendly political alliance. Even if his mother, father, or sister were here, he wouldn’t be able to consult them. No, this was something he had to figure out on his own. This time there was no war to be won, no battle to be planned. This situation was like a fire lily: if it wanted to bloom, he would be pleased. But he couldn’t do much besides water it and hope for it to respond.

But the more he thought about it, the more he was certain that he liked Katara. Like more than a friend. He had a crush on her. He had feelings for her. He like-liked her. Whatever you wanted to call it.

Oh boy.

.

He woke up from a restful night’s sleep thinking about her. He groaned.

Oh yeah, he was in trouble.

He stretched and got dressed. Might as well go to breakfast with a smile on his face, even if he probably looked like an idiot. While still pleasant, the morning meal was quieter than their other ones. It felt strange to have to say goodbye already. And, oh-so-conveniently, right when Zuko had a better grip on these feelings of his…

But just like that, the visitors’ time in the Fire Nation had come to an end. For now.

Zuko was confident that their visit created a strong foundation to build a better relationship on. They would probably be seeing each other some time soon. And they could send letters, friendly ones that lacked the normal formality of political correspondence. This was far from the last they’d be seeing of each other, something he found great comfort in.

“Thank you, Lord Zuko, it’s truly been a pleasure. It brings me peace of mind to know the Fire Nation is in good hands. We’ll see you again.” Hakoda’s words were brief but Zuko couldn’t deny the wave of validation he felt after hearing them. Maybe he was doing a half decent job after all.

“Now that we’ve been here, don’t be surprised if we pop in every so often. Oops, lost control of the ship and ended up on Zuko’s door step! Don’t blame me, blame the ocean spirit! Thanks, buddy.” That morning’s breakfast spread alone was enough to keep him coming back. And Katara didn’t seem to mind, so all was well, right?  

“I’ll keep the rooms ready for you,” Zuko promised while shaking Sokka’s hand. The boy followed his father onto their ship, leaving Zuko to face Katara. As much as she looked forward to returning home, she was glad she was the last one to get on board.

“So…”

“You got everything?”

“Seems like it.”

“That’s good. Even the books?”

“Yup, even the books.”

“Good, good. Well...I’ll see you...later?”

“Definitely. You’ll have to come visit the Southern Water Tribe soon,” Katara said sweetly, playfully.

The promise dancing in her eyes made Zuko feel something undeniable: hope.  

.

.

A/N: Yes I conveniently had Ozai and Azula take each other out HAHA now I don’t have to deal with them. I don’t know if I’ll post another chapter because I /could/ write about them visiting each other but idk. I’ll mark this complete for now, thanks for reading!! Idk if it’s too long but at this point I’m just like :] Also, if you have a zutara twitter pls lmk/give me account recs!! I want to see more on my tl but it’s hard to find people esp when the zutara search is mostly people arguing lol and hopefully you either have a neutral or positive opinion of sasusaku <3

Fallingwater

Steve Rogers x reader

Summary: A whirlwind romance takes you on a roller coaster of emotions. 

Word Count: 2,555

AN: I know it’s NYE and I should post a story about NYE but this was due and I’m so proud of it. This is for @nacho-bucky​‘s writing challenge! Thank you so much for hosting Cait, I had so much fun writing this. My prompt was the song Fallingwater by Maggie Rogers (one of my favs songs ever, it was number 2 on my 2019 most listened). I legit did about 5 outlines before i realized I hated them all, and then listened to the song on repeat for a day before coming up with this. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Slightly angsty and mention of sexy times. 

“The moment I set eyes on her, I knew she was the one. I thought I was doing so well, but then I met her and it was like everything was under a spell.”

It was probably too early to be doing shots, but you couldn’t care. You slurred your way through a speech, how hard you worked, how much you sacrificed to become the Director of R and D at Stark Inc. Your friends cheered loudly, some whooping, before you tilted your head back and let the alcohol burn its way down your throat. 

Your face hurt, but you couldn’t stop smiling. Everything you had worked for just came true, and now you were the youngest co-Director of R and D in the company’s history. Drinks with the girls seemed like the only fitting way to celebrate. 

Your friend, Natasha, was letting everyone know how much you deserved this promotion when your eyes caught his. Suddenly, every word Natasha said was drowned out, and the whole bar became fuzzy expect for him. 

His full lips formed into a smile, and he tilted his beer your way. Quickly he turned to his friend before sliding off his chair and walking towards you. Somehow you managed to meet him in the middle, not even sure when your legs had moved.

“Hi” you breathed. 

“Hey, you’re the new co-director or R and D at Stark’s right?” and his charming smiled almost laid you flat on the floor.

“Yeah... that’s me” surprised he recognized you.

“Sorry, I just realized how creepy that must have sounded, I just work there too. Name’s Steve, I’m the director of graphic design. Tony and Bruce were gushing about you at our meeting today.” he chuckled to himself. “I have to say, you’re a very impressive person.” 

“Thank you! It’s been amazing to work at Stark Inc and I still can’t believe I got promoted. It feels like a dream, to be honest.” 

“Trust me, from what they told me, they would be crazy not to promote you.” 

The moment of silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable. You took the time to really get a good look at him. Dimples, blond fluffy hair, and a jawline that could cut through pizza. Meeting his eyes again, you blushed at being caught. 

“Do you wanna dance?” he asks, hopeful. All you can do is nod. 

The night passes by fast. One moment your dancing and laughing at the bar, and the next, your kissing his luscious lips and pulling off your own shirt. 

Rolling over the next morning, you were met with the glorious sight of a naked and sleeping Steve Rogers. His hair was fanned out, and the sunlight peaking in hit him in all the right spots. It was torture getting out of bed and putting on your clothes, you wanted to stay and trace his freckles all day. 

The sound of the front door clicking shut woke him up. Squinting from the intrusive light, he blindly felt the bed for your soft figure, wanting to curl up with you and fall back asleep. The paper on the pillow pulled his attention and he opened the note enough to read. 

Thanks for the magical night! Call me sometime XXX-XXX-XXXX.

“She’s the light in the dark places in my life. No one could compare to her.”

Just like that, you’re hooked. 

The next time you meet is at your first meeting with the rest of the Directors at Stark Inc. Excited to be formally introduced, and wanting to make a good impression, you had arrived early with bagels and coffee for the meeting. 

You’re busy thanking Peter, the intern, for helping you, when he waltzes in. The navy suit he’s wearing does nothing for what you know is underneath. Most things don’t do him justice, it’s like he was carved by Michelangelo himself. And just like that, you’re brought back to Friday night, sweaty bodies and sultry kisses played in your mind. 

You jump slightly as Bruce comes in and begins to chat with you. He’s already talking about making improvements to the new AI you’re building, but you’ve zoned out too long to really catch what he’s saying, so you simply nod along

Steve’s eyes flicker to yours, and you can see the mirth behind his smile. Busted. You hope the office lighting washes out your blush. And just as Bruce segways into another project, Tony Stark himself waltzes into the room, officially saving your ass. 

Everyone takes a seat, and the meeting commences, but you’re far less energetic about it now. You try to focus on what Tony is saying, you really do, but you can’t stop thinking about the blue eyed man sitting on the opposite side of the table. It’s hard not to look at him, even his profile is drool worthy. 

Hoping to god your bsing skills are up to par, you ohh, ahh and nod at the right times. Chancing another glance Steve, you find he’s already looking at you. The smile comes easy to your face before you hear Tony clear his throat. 

Looking around, you realize that everyone was looking at you, and you’re racking your brain to see if you remembered to put on deodorant this morning. 

“Y/N, do you want to introduce yourself, or do you want to keep ogling Steve there?” Tony asks, and you’ve never wanted the ground to swallow you more than you have in this moment. 

Clearing your throat and sneaking a sip of water, you gather your wits quickly and introduce yourself, and also give a brief overview of the projects you have and are working on. 15 minutes later, you’re pretty sure everyone had forgotten about Tony’s snide remark as you give the floor back to your boss to wrap up the meeting. 

Everyone takes turns coming up to you and congratulating you, shaking your hands and other pleasantries that you really don’t care for. Of course, Steve is the last person to approach and your heart skips a beat as he pulls you in for a hug. God he smells amazing. 

“You were great! I really can’t wait to work with you.” he states earnestly. You give a weak smile, and chastise yourself for being so smitten with someone you just met.  

“Thank you, I had a lot of great mentors.” you say, cursing your voice for breaking at the end. 

Steve’s hand falls to the small of your back, and guides you out of the conference room. 

“I’m really impressed with the latest model vibranium shield, looks like it could really be useful to someone in combat.” the mention of one of your projects has you lighting up, and chatting up a storm as you enter the elevator

“Yes! Bruce told me you were the one to sketch the design first, and I have to say that it inspired us to go sleek and lightweight. We really wanted--” but you don’t get to finish because his lips are on yours. It takes you a moment to process, but then you kiss back with as much fervor as you can manage. 

His hands find your waist, and work their way up, while yours find his hair and neck. Anything you both could do to get closer, full on making out like high schoolers in the elevator. 

The ding alerts you that the door is about to open, and you break apart. Your struggling for breath, and your lips feel swollen. The women that entered the elevator takes a moment to take in your ragged breathing and Steve’s messy hair before smirking. “I’ll take the next one.”

The moment the doors close, you both burst into laughter. 

“Well, she sure won’t be forgetting us” you giggle. Steve hums in agreement before taking a step towards you and kissing your forehead.  

“10 bucks says that Tony’ll know before lunch” he chuckles. 

“Oh, I’m sure he already knows.” you states, pointing up to the security camera in the corner. 

Steve groans before burying his head in your neck. “Worth it” you hear him murmur. 

The following weeks follow much the same.

Stolen kisses and little notes are passed between the two of you in the halls. Flowers show up more in your office, and Steve has never had as many baked goods in his life as he does now. 

You make a point to keep it casual, not referring as dates, no staying over at each other’s places. It’s supposed to be light and breezy.

Take out when one person is working late, breaks in each other’s office to rant or feel each other up, bubbles baths after a stressful day. It all falls into place and becomes domestic, and you never even realized the moment it had stopped being casual. 

It’s a whirlwind that becomes too much when you hear three words from Steve. 

“I love you” 

“It feels like I’m stuck upstream without her.”

You’re still panting, and you can feel it in your bones. His skin is glistening with sweat, and you both revel in the afterglow. You know the moment can’t last forever, but you hope to stretch it as long as possible. 

You sigh before pressing one last kiss to his lips and throwing the covers off your legs. You can feel his eyes staring at your back as you gather your clothes from the floor, cursing yourself for so carelessly throwing your bra somewhere you can’t find. 

“Stay” he states, and you’ve never wanted anything more. 

“You know I can’t” you say as you pull up your pants and button them, ignoring the way your hands shake.

“It’s getting late, just stay the night.” he begs, sliding from the bed to pull you into an embrace. He knows how to play dirty.

“I need to go Steve.” you state more firmly, his arms dropping from around you as he takes a step back to study you. After his gaze feels too strong, you start to throw on the rest of your clothes, hoping to leave before doing something you’ll regret. 

“Is this because I told you I love you?” he asks, and your heart leaps into your throat. The feeling of panic begins to ebb into your bones, the same feeling you had when the words left his mouth the first time. 

You had gotten ice cream stuck in your hair. He was helping you get the liquid out of your hair while you lamented about good ice cream going to waste. It was so quiet and inconspicuous that if it weren’t for the panic forming, you would have missed them. 

Laughing nervously, you thanked him for his help and made some dumb excuse to go home as fast as possible. The week that followed was so normal that you were sure he forgot the incident. 

Apparently not.

“No, I just need to go home” voice shaking. “Why are you ignoring this?” he asks. 

“I’m not.”

“Stop denying it! I’m sorry that this freaks you out, but I’m not sorry for you knowing how I feel about you!”

“You can’t actually feel that way! We’ve known each other for 2 months!” you yell back.

“It doesn’t matter how long we’ve known each other because I know how I feel. I love you!” he shouts back, arms gesticulating wildly, it would be funny if you weren’t drowning in the moment.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Say how you feel, say you love me or that you don’t. But say something!” and now he’s pacing back and forth, hands running through his hair. You can tell he’s frustrated, but you can’t seem to feel anything but cold. It’s moving too fast and starting to spiral, and you just want it to stop for a moment. 

“You always tell me just what I’m supposed to say, as if it could be any other way.” you say quietly. It’s not true, you know it’s not, but in the heat of the moment, it’s all you could do to defend yourself.

It’s silent for a moment, he’s stopped pacing and you just stare at each other.  

The stand still is getting to you, and you can’t bare it another second. Grabbing your bag from the chair, you practically run to his door and throw it open. 

The sound of the door shutting feels more like a knife severing your relationship. 

“So, to most amazing woman in the world, I love you Pepper, and I will never stop.”

The applause brings you back to the moment, Tony and Pepper’s wedding reception. Tears you didn’t notice slide down your face, and you dab them away quickly, hoping no one noticed.

Since that fateful night one month ago, you’ve replayed your relationship multiple times. Every time you see him in the halls, you recall a night of passion. Meetings were spent thinking about jokes that you and Steve would have passed back and forth. Laying in bed, you thought of all the things you wish you had said on that final night. 

You excuse yourself from the table, feeling claustrophobic, and make your way towards the bar. You had already seen Steve at the wedding, and if he was going to look so gorgeous, you were going to get drunk enough to forget. 

An arm catches you on the way, and the way goosebumps rise on your skin, you know it’s him. Turning to face him, you could cry at how much better he looks up close. He had grown a slight beard, and the black suit fit him like a glove. You were sure everyone would be staring at him. 

“Hi, dance with me?” he asks, so simple, so loaded. 

You think for a moment before nodding. He gently sweeps you into his embrace, and you melt into him. It feels right, like everything before was unknowingly wrong. 

“I miss you” you breathe, not wanting to disturb the moment. 

“Me too” He hums, the vibrations tickling where your forehead meets his cheek. “I think about you all the time. Life is much more boring without you by my side.”

You both continue to sway, to content to do much else. There hasn’t been a moment that felt as warm and safe as this, this was home. It’s where you wanted to be for the rest of your life, and you’re not scared anymore. 

“I never meant anything I said that night, I was terrified Steve. It was all happening so fast and it was overwhelming. I never loved you fully in the way I could.” tears welling up in your eyes. 

He pulls his head back far enough to look at you before bringing his thumb to wipe the tears that escaped down your cheek. 

“I pushed too hard. I didn’t think about how you felt. I was scared of losing you, and I thought that fighting for you was the way to go instead of catching you.” 

You shake your head and let out a laugh, “we were both idiots.” His arms wrap around you tighter, pressing a kiss to your forehead, he laughs along with you. 

“I’m not scared anymore.” you state. Before you know it, his soft lips are back on his. 

Breaking apart, you know you have the biggest grin on your face.

“I’m like fallingwater.”

~~~

Thank you so much for reading! Feedback is always welcome!

Introduction!

This is all the information you need to know for this AU thingy!

So this AU is gonna be huge. All the hetalia characters I can think of will make an appearance. Now this will be mature, so if you are not comfortable with DARK topics, do not read it. This is my warning. 

Ships that will be in this (in no particular order):

Alfred x Arthur

Matthew x Gilbert

Ludwig x Feliciano

Lovino x Antonio

Yao x Ivan

Kiku x Heracles

Roderich x Vash

Feliks x Toris

Matthais x Lukas

Berwald x TIno

Emil x Li

Vladimir x Milen

Romeo x Anthony 

Some ships may be added or removed.

World Academy is a school in Washington D.C. It strives to be very accepting and very open, having many different people from many different countries. It has amazing sports programs, as well as art and drama programs. It's a huge school filled with different people, all with different interests. Because of this, the school has many sports from all over the world, such as soccer/European football, American football, and Australian football. The school has the highest grades in the area, and most students are well behaved, thanks to the high discipline by students and teachers.

Now I will give a little blurb about each character in the context of this AU.

Alfred F. Jones(America)- Alfred is an energetic young boy, your classic jock. He is a big sweetheart, with a heart of gold, and would die for his friends. He loves to cook, but enjoys some good chicken nuggets from McDonald's every once and awhile. He is also a VERY big fan of American football, and loves to play with his buddies. Despite being a popular jock, he would never bully someone for anything, especially for their sexuality, since he himself was bi. His life seems perfect, but is there something dark under the surface?

Arthur Kirkland(England)- Arthur is a prim and proper young man, with a bright future ahead of him. He is the student council president, and is feared throughout the school, since he holds the power of a staff member when it comes to punishing misbehaving students. He also has a secret sporty side, not playing on the school's official teams, but for fun on club teams. No one knows about this side of him, and he'd prefer to keep it that way. Very very gay for all the jocks in the school but refuses to admit it.

Matthew Williams(Canada)- Matthew is timid. You could tell from a mile away, if you could spot him. He was shorter than his older brother, Alfred, and is outshined by him in every way. The one thing he had a better grip on were his grades, which mattered very little to his parents. He too had a secret that even Alfred didn't know about, and he knew if he revealed this secret, Alfred would be pissed. Likes to refer to himself as demi, but is more gay than he realizes.

Gilbert Beilschmidt(Prussia)- Gilbert is a very loud and obnoxious boy, constantly harassing both boys and girls about numbers and flirting relentlessly. He hated following rules and would often disobey dress code, and be disruptive during class. Sometimes he'd straight up ditch class and waltz back in the food with no care in the world. He's protective though, especially of his little brother, and who he thinks needs it. He's pansexual, like the entire BTT.

Ludwig Beilschmidt(Germany)- Ludwig is serious and tough, not taking shit from anyone. He is the student council's vice president. He doesn't hold as much power as Arthur, therefore is less feared, but he makes people aware that they shouldn't break rules. He's a hunky man, and attracts many suitors, but he only has his eyes on one boy. A certain art student with a cute curl, and adorable smile. Demi sexual (or felisexual)

Feliciano Vargas(N. Italy)- Feliciano was an art student with an uncontrollable love for pasta. He is a bubbly and happy boy, and is rarely seen without a smile. He is one of the best artists in school and is commonly tasked with making murals and posters for events. He is quite popular for it. His best friends are Ludwig and Kiku, though he feels guilty about Ludwig. He won't deny that Ludwig looked a lot like his old crush from middle school, and kept him around for the fuzzy feeling. Though, he loves Ludwigs company either way. Gay for Ludwig, but doesn't really know yet.

Lovino Vargas(S. Italy)- Feliciano's meaner and more aggressive brother. He is considered by many to be an "evil twin," since his and his brothers personality clash. He does have a few soft spots though. He loves tomatoes, and his love for pasta is almost as big as his brother's. He is outshined a bit by his brother's artistic skill, and his ability to speak to others. It made him feel he was lesser, and he lashed out because of it. He still loves his brother, despite the fact he feels inferior to him.

Antonio Fernandez Carriedo(Spain)- Musical nerd. He loves the classic musicals, and the new musicals as well. Often found singing in the drama room and will no doubt perform any musical song you ask him too. He can play the guitar, and likes to learn his favorite songs and Lovino will play tambourine along with him. One of the happiest and positive boys in school. Pansexual, like all of the BTT, but really likes Lovino.

Yao Wang(China)- Secretary of the student counsel so he is very serious about rules. One of the oldest kids in school, but pretty short. Most people know not to mess with him though, because he takes karate classes, and already has a black belt. He's kind of a neat freak, and wants everything to be perfect. Spends most of the time in the library organizing books and gossiping with the librarian.

Ivan Braginsky(Russia)- Ivan is one of the tallest and scariest guys in school, but is honestly very sweet. He doesn’t try to scare people, but ends up accidentally doing so because he is bad at anything social. He has a few issues, but is genuinely trying to fix himself, and understands people’s views of him. He has a big attachment to his sister, Katyusha, and keeps the scarf she made for him when they were children.

Kiku Honda(Japan)- Kiku is an odd boy. He has a fascination with art and mythology of all cultures. He also values his own life and culture and will happily tell people about it. He is the treasurer of the student council, and is pretty closed off, thanks to his massive love of anime. He tries to not let it bother him too much. His favorite mythology to learn about is greek mythology, since it is so far from his home country and is so different .

Heracles Karpusi(Greece)- A quiet and reserved boy, but incredibly horny all of the time. Often thinks of his friend Kiku in sexual ways, but is often unfazed by it. He quite enjoys these thoughts. He is Kiku’s main source of mythology information, since he himself is greek and they share a mythology class. He hates this guy named Sadik, and has hated him for a really long time because they were an item at one point. He doesn’t like to think about it.

Roderich Edelstein(Austria)- One of the most snobby rich kids you’ll ever meet. He thinks he’s better than everyone else and really only cares about himself. He was the previous president of the student council, but lost the election to Arthur this year. He is still upset about it. Now he spends most of his time playing the violin and piano. At this point he is only concerned about his image to colleges and nothing else.

Vash Zwingil(Switzerland)- Gun crazy, and very protective of his adoptive little sister. He has been in love with Roderich for years, ever since they were children, but has started to hate the person that Roderich has become, but is still madly in love. No one except his sister knows, and he would like to keep it that way. He does get it through to Roderich that he should treat people a bit better.

Feliks Lucasiewicz(Poland)- Very… comfortable with himself. His family is very christan, and he knew he was gay from an early age, and knew his family wouldn’t be supportive. So to give a gainate middle finger to his family, he began to cross dress, and ended up really enjoying it. He often gets mistaken for a girl, and is flirted with. He finds this cute, but usually tells them there’s no point. He is quite desirable among gay boys in his school.

Toris Laurinaitis(Lithuania)- The main writer of the newspaper club, and very shy. He was abducted by Feliks, and has grown a weird crush on him. He thought he was straight for the longest time, but this boy confuses him. He is slowly opening up more because of Feliks, and they go horse riding together a lot. He loves these rides because it’s an excuse to get even closer to Feliks.

Matthais Kohlar(Denmark)- A literal crackhead. He is often caught either in the middle of something bad, or about to do something dangerous. Whether he is always high or just reckless is never clear. He has broken practically every bone in his body, at least once. He is a massive headache to take care of but he's a pure hearted guy who loves his friends. Like this dude should jump off a cliff for the sake of friendship.

Lukas Bindevik(Norway)- Reserved and closed off. He is very mysterious and is often caught talking to himself. He grew up without siblings or friends, and his parents are divorced. He had no contact with his father, and only grew up with his mother, and therefore grew mother-like tendencies. He can be very protective, and is good at talking people through their problems, even with his minimalistic speech.

Berwald Oxenstierna(Sweden)- The tallest and most terrifying guy. He's 6'4 muscular and has this resting bitch face that could strike fear into the hearts of WWE wrestlers. But he is actually a giant teddy bear when it comes to the people he cares about. He's big and buff, his hugs are great. He likes to sing to himself while he's working or lost in thought, and many find this charming, earning him many suitors in the process. He's too dense, and too gay for a certain Finn to realize how popular he is.

Tino Vainamoinen(Finland)- One of the most positive and loveable boys in the world. He is only 5'2, and a little on the cubby side, but he is very confident, not afraid to show off his body. He may seem innocent, but on the inside is one of the most kinky shits. He loves a good pounding and will let you know. He will go into heavy detail about his sex life when he's drunk, making people laugh, or be uncomfortable. He's got his eyes on a certain Swede though. He’s also on the hockey team.

Emil Stielsson(Iceland)- Emil is a new kid. He had lived with his single father since he was an infant, not knowing anything about his mother. His dad never told him. But he came to this school this year. He was very awkward around new people, but found comfort on social butterflies talking to him. He is lowkey kinda emo and is stuck in his emo middle school. He is learning how cringy he had been.

Li Xiao Chun(Hong Kong)- A social butterfly. He somehow ended up being friends with every clique in his school from his broad range of interests and friendly personality. Though he does sometimes get fought over because of just how loveable he is. All the different cliques he's friends want to hang out all the time, but because he has so many friends, his schedule is usually filled. He never fails to make time for his newest friend, Emil.

Francis Bonnefoy(France)- The. Biggest. Man. Whore. He has been with practically everyone in school. Most notably his friend with benefits for 2 years, Arthur. Francis had fallen in love, but Arthur never returned the feelings. He always pressed a bit, to see if there was a chance Arthur changed his mind, but never forced him into it.

Alory Kirkland(N.Ireland)- In college. He’s the oldest of the Kirkland siblings (26). He’s very annoyed most of the time, the simple sound of people talking can make him angry. His little brother, Arthur, is the worst. For some reason that boy in particular could be breathing too hard and it would annoy Alory. He’s so glad to have moved out, away from his loud chaotic family. He loves them but he prefers it quiet.

Allistor Kirkland(Scotland)- The second oldest of the Kirkland siblings (24). He's also in college, but constantly visits, unlike Alory. He’s also much happier and peppy. He was never a role model though, always getting in trouble when he was a kid. But, he was the fun one for sure. He also likes to take his siblings golfing, since that is something that he does love to do. He can get competitive with everyone there.

Reuben Kirkland(Wales)- The most chill of the Kirkland siblings. He’s 22, and will visit every once and awhile. He doesn’t talk a lot, and really only spoke after he turned 16. He and Allistor got into all kinds of trouble as kids. He is an actual role model though and would apologize. When he doesvist, he likes to cook for the whole family, since he’s the one who can do it correctly in their family.

Dwight Kirkland(Hutt River)- He is LOVED by his grandparents and aunts and uncles because he sucks up to them when he’s with them.Because of this he is always sent piles of money, and ends up with about ~1000 dollars a year. He loves to flaunt his money in front of his other siblings and spoils himself with it. This is why no 16 year old should have this much money. They’ll use it on stupid things.

Jett Kirkland(Australia)- The athletic one of the family. He loves to swim, surf, and to play australian football. He has broken too many bones to count and has almost died multiple times thanks to being reckless. Kaelin had to perform CPR one time because he almost drowned. He still continues, even if he almost dies. He is quite dumb and will tag along with Alfred. They have many… misadventures. Let’s hope he doesn't die before he goes to senior year (hes 18)

Kaelin Kirkland(New Zealand)- One of the only people who can keep Jett from actually killing himself. He is a movie review youtuber, and spends most of his time in his basement, researching and recording for videos. He is also lowkey obsessed with sheep. His entire room is sheep themed, and it has caused every friend he’s invited over to laugh and call him cute. He doesn’t like being called cute. Acts older than he is (17).

Peter Kirkland(Sealand)- In middle school(12). He is still obsessed with disney and princes. He is convinced that Alfred is a hidden prince and will try to expose him. Also crushing hard on Alfred. He tries his best to be recognised by his peers, but his efforts are futile, since he just annoys the people around him.He trie ]s to ot let it bother him but he’ll be the first to admit that it did hurt him a bit. 

Wendy Kirkland(Wy)- She is quite aggressive. Jett taught her different ways to pin someone to the floor, and she’ll test these ways on Peter. Arthur tries to stop them, but Jett and Kaelin will make bets on these kids. Wendy always wins, because Peter doesn’t know how to fight back. Other than that, Wendy is very artistic and draws a lot in her free time. She impressed the people around her.

Romeo Vargas(Seborga)- Similarly to Matthais and Jett, he can’t keep himself out of trouble. He got stuck in a tree, and the fire department had to get called to get him out. He may have done this on purpose just to get carried by buff firemen, but that’s unclear. He’s the youngest and most reckless Vargas brother, but spends his time volunteering at the middle school as an assistant, and met Peter and Wendy through it.

Im Yong Soo(S. Korea)- He’s sorta a perv. He can get a little touchy at times, and will constantly flirt with any living breathing human. Kiku finds this annoying,but he knows Soo means nothing by it. He has a tendency to grope when drunk, resulting in a hard slap to the face from Kiku, who was not so nicely touched. Soo apologies\es profusely after he sobered up, knowing that what he did was wrong.

Natalya Braginskaya(Belarus)- Very creepy and has… incestous tendencies towards her brother. She is the one personwho can scare him and is constantly pestering Ivan to date her in secret. She hates Yao’s guts since she knows that Ivan has a crush on him. Thankfully weapons aren’t allowed on campus, otherwise Yao would not be alive. Seriously the girl is unhinged and needs help.

Katyusha Braginskaya(Ukraine)- She’s a very loving and caring big sister, but after a long series of events, she barely speaks to Ivan anymore. She knows he still loves her though thanks to him wearing the scarf she made for him when they were kids everyday. They are slowly working on rebuilding their relationship, but it’s a slow process. She desperately wants that relationship with her brother back.

Sadik Adnan(Turkey)- He absolutely hates Harecles’s guts from some stuff that happened in middle school. They constantly fight, usually behind the school, but sometimes find hospitality while bathing. They have normal conversations in the showers, but are at each other’s throats any other time. He breaks the dress code a lot by wearing a hat to hide his face most of the time, and refuses to take it off.

Gupta Muhammad Hassan(Eygpt)- Selectively mute. He can hear just fine but he doesn't talk at all, preferring to speak over text and emojis. Even then, his monotone personality shows through his texts, where he gives single word responses only. He's very reserved and all that's known about him is that he had something to do with the Heracles and Sadik drama that happened. He refuses to talk about that, text and all.

Lillia Zwingil(Lichtenstein)- Vash's younger sister, and the light of his life. She is very loving to her brother, making food for him every day and seeing new clothes for him in home economics. She also likes to go hunting with Vash, despite her dainty and cute persona, she has a wicked aim, thanks to Vash teaching her. She's also the only one to know his crush on Roderick.

Eduard Von Bock(Estonia)- Hacker man. Well sorta. He likes to work on computers but he'll admit that it's hard for him to work. Not necessarily because he's bad at it, but because his internet is slow. He does his best, but sometimes downloading a file tha tag takes three days only to be told you don't have enough space makes you want to punch a hole straight through the computer.

Ravis Galante(Latvia)- He small and just pushed around by the bigger boys a lot. He is often bullied for his height and shy stutter, and had no way to stand up for himself. He'll begin to speak, but either get shut down or chicken out. So he spends most of his time in the library, sitting in the loneliness. He did like friends, it just made it hard when the entire school hates you.

Gianna Bonnefoy(Monaco)- She's Francis's half sister and is just as flirty. She loves to make everyone around her blush in her presence, either by radiating beauty or making inappropriate comments. Francis will tell her to stop, which is really code for, keep going it's entertaining. She liked to braid people's hair, weather they're boys, girls, or anything in between. If you had hair she wanted to do it up all nice.

Vladimir Popescu(Romania)- Obsessed with everything paranormal. 100% believes in ghosts and likes to go out ghost hunting. He will go to abandoned asylums or hospitals to try and find spooky activity. He can get extremely jumpy and scared when it comes to ghost hunts, and has screamed like a girl on multiple occasions. When he's not doing that, he plays D&D, and is very good at it. He DMs.

Milan Hinova(Bulgaria)- He really likes yogurt. He and Vladimir go on ghost hunts and he is actually very calm. He doesn't believe in ghosts and will brush any sort of paranormal activity off as wind or the state of the building they're in, and is like Vladimir's protector. They'll often record and post videos of these ghost hunts. He doesn't play D&D, but will come to the sessions to hang out with Vladimir.

Anthony Gunner Jones(Molossia)- A sweetheart around his parents and when he's alone, but foul mouthed and angry with his friends. Alfred and Matthew's cousin, who they really like. He will get very flustered and embarrassed if he's complimented, and will punch people in the arms when he feels it's appropriate. He also volunteers at the middle school as a gym assistant, and has a GIANT crush on Romeo.

Thank you for reading.

tell me about the bmc deh crossover!

send me the title of one of my deh wips and I’ll share an excerpt/tell you a bit about it

oh absolutely!!! I’ve got BIG plans for this one, so it’s going to take a while to finish, but I think it’s going to be worth it :)

The concept is very straight foward and I’m sure has been done many times before, but basically the bmc and deh kids go to same school, and the musicals respective storylines occur simultaneously.

Honestly I can’t tell you much about the actual plot yet because I’m still working it out, but the squip and connor project storylines will be very intertwined. The plan is for it to be very character-driven so I can tell you about the pre-existing relationships between the bmc and deh kids instead!

Jeremy and Jared

so I made a post about this a little while ago because I just can’t get the idea out of my head but, Jeremy and Jared have a very antagonistic relationship. I can’t explain why but I feel like Jeremy just... irrationally hates Jared. Like, he has no real reason to hate him, he doesn’t bully him or anything like Rich does, but Jeremy just doesn’t like him. It’s mostly because Jared’s shitty sense of humour and the asshole persona he puts on at school but yeah, Jere just doesn’t like him at all.

On that, Jeremy and Evan are kind of friends, and since Jeremy doesn’t like Jared’s sense of humour he definitely doesn’t like how he talks to Evan sometimes

Teachers always mix them up (wrol Jere rights baby!!) and it drives Jeremy crazy lmao

Also Jared is sort of friends with Rich so like... that understandably doesn’t sit well with Jeremy either

And Jeremy’s irrational hatred of Jared is like... extra funny because Jared is completely oblivious lmao. He barely even knows who Jeremy is.

Also, Jared is pretty friendly with Michael, and Jeremy doesn’t quite realise this yet but perhaps... he is jealous 😳

Jared and Rich

Rich and Jared is an interesing one. I mean, Jared is kind of a loser so originally after getting the SQUIP Rich bullied him too.

Except unlike Jeremy, Michael or Evan, Jared actually talks back to Rich and gives him shit too. We know Jared’s not particulary great at jokes under pressure (what are you, like...an acorn??), but he manages to be snarky enough/put up enough of a cocky front that Rich finds him funny and lays off him a bit

So whilst the SQUIP strongly discourages it, he ends up being sort of friends with Jared. Rich’s SQUIP actually kind of uses it as bribing material a little bit, it will let Rich keep being friends with Jared if he does X task the SQUIP wants him to do. That kind of thing :(

The bullying becomes more friendly teasing that goes both ways. Although sometimes Rich’s SQUIP will make him say some homophoic shit that really fucking hurts, but Jared just lets it slide. Partially because he’s still kind of scared of Rich, partially because he definitely doesn’t want to out himself, but mostly:

Jared’s realised that in addition to not being bullied by Rich himself anymore, his semi-friendship with Rich means Rich tends to leave Evan alone now. Which to Jared is definitely worth half-heartedly laughing at whatever hurtful shit Rich says in order to maintain the friendship.

Jared and Michael

Ok so I also said Jared and Michael are kind of friends.

They’ll become much closer later on in the fic when they can bond over their only friend ditching them for popularity/a chance to be with the girl they’re crushing on and are lowkey obssessed with

But at the beginning they’re not quite friends. They both do IT and they sit together in class, but they don’t really talk about much besides their work.

They do have a bit of a rivalry going on though. They’re the top two students in their IT class so they’re very competitive when it comes to tests/assignments/grades.

Also Jared can tend to be a bit of an attention seeker in class, so he’ll make a lot of stupid remarks and jokes that sometimes Michael can’t help but laugh at. He tries not to though because he doesn’t want to give Jared the satisfaction of knowing Michael thinks he’s funny.

And yeah competiveness/rivalry? Could definitely be interpretted as flirting so I can see why Jeremy might be jealous lmao

oh my god why does literally every character so far have some kind of rivalry with Jared ?? What it is about that boy that made my brain go “yeah all the bmc kids just lowkey wanna throw hands with him” ? idk but the idea is making me laugh. I love Jared but he does get on people’s nerves sometimes

Alana and Jenna

Now THIS is a friendship (or who knows, maybe something more??) I’m very excited about

Just think about it, both girls are actually so similar. They both feel invisible and lonely and like no one really cares about them. And unlike say Evan, who doesn’t really actually try to make other friends, both girls make SUCH an effort to be loud and be seen. Jenna with her gossip and Alana with her extremely bubbly and friendly persona.

I think it’s just a really interesting dynamic since they have very different personalities, but deep down they're both struggling with the same feelings of being invisible and unwanted.

Unlike the other relationships above, Alana and Jenna don’t actually have much of a pre-existing relationship. Mostly because Jenna is popular by association with Chloe/Brooke/Jake/Rich, and Alana is defintely not popular.

But, they grow closer working on The Connor Project together, which Jenna is going to play a big part in.

Jenna is the one who records Evan’s YWBF speech and helps it go viral. Alana then suggests they recruit her to join the project as their social media manager. Evan and Jared are freaking out because the last thing they need right now is for the project to go viral and risk the truth coming out, but eventually they see how much good the project is actually doing and realise that this is so much bigger than themselves now, so agree to let her on board.

Ok this is getting very long now lmao so I’m just gonna share a few more quick thoughts

A lot of people don’t like Alana because they find her very intense. Most people she tries to talk to (eg. Evan/Jared/Jeremy) don’t really engage with her, they’ll just make half-hearted conversation as if they’re just waiting for her to leave already. But one of the few people who is genuinely kind to her and actually listens and doesn’t just brush her off is Michael. So they’ve got a nice relationship. (Connor is one of the other people who is kind to Alana. Ooh also probably Christine too, because I can’t imagine her being anything but kind to anyone)

No one else really knows this, not even Jeremy, but Michael is actually quite affected by Connor’s death. They definitely weren’t friends, Michael honestly knew nothing about Connor, but sometimes if Michael’s having a bad day he likes to skip class and smoke behind the school. And often when he did he’d find Connor there too. They never talked much, mostly just sat in comfortable silence, but sometimes it was nice to just have someone else there. Michael doesn’t like sneaking out to smoke during school anymore because he really feels Connor’s absence. And he can’t help but wonder if anything would be different if he ever made a genuine effort to talk to Connor on those days.

Christine and Jared. That’s it, that’s all I have to say lmao. They’d have the same chaotic energy as post-SQUIP Rich and Jared. Jared’s parents have been bugging him about trying to join some clubs this year, or just do something that will look good on his college applications. Obviously later on that becomes The Connor Project, but at the start of the year he signs up to do tech for the school play. So, that’s how Jared and Christine meet. Jared being Jared does his best to push her away and avoid getting close, but this is Christine we’re talking about, she’s not gonna let that happen that easily. So, they end up becoming friends.

Alright I’m gonna stop this here or else this post will never end, but I’m definitely excited about eventually finishing this one!

Dance on a Tightrope of Weird

really recently, @ichlugebulletsandcornnuts​ and i wrote this absolute mad lad, as you can tell from the title. 

it’s a lot. and i love it.

nobody is quite sure how the events of the 26th April came about, but it’s definitely not something any of the queens would forget in a hurry.

it seemed as if it would be a normal morning. jane wakes at a reasonable hour and stretches, staring up at the barely-lit ceiling above her. she spots something bright and pink out of the corner of her eye and she smiles softly, assuming katherine had come in at some point in the middle of the night. when she rolls over, however, she spots katherine’s teddy bear but no katherine.

she frowns and sits up, and it’s at this moment jane suddenly realises that this isn’t her bedroom.

she tries to rack her brain, thinking of how on earth she got into katherine's room in the middle of the night. did she sleep walk? no, no she wouldn't have?

as she thinks, she reaches up and starts twirling a lock of hair around her fingers...

and it pulls in front of her eyes.

and it isn't blonde.

it's dark brown and pink. unable to make a sound, she stands and rushes to katherine's vanity.

she, somehow, someway, is katherine.

she stares at her reflection for several moments, completely unsure of what to do. a thought strikes her; if she was katherine, did that mean katherine was...

well, there’s only one way to find out.

she tiptoes out of katherine’s room, not wanting any of the others to hear her, and opens the door to her own room. there, asleep on the bed, is herself.

but not herself.

this was getting more confusing by the second.

she didn't really want to wake katherine this early, but she needed answers. she gently shakes katherine's shoulder, ignoring how utterly odd it feels to be waking herself.

"kitty-kat," she murmurs, brushing some stray blonde hairs away from katherine's face. her own voice surprises her too. she sounds exactly like katherine.

"five more minutes, mum," katherine drawls, her voice heavy and sleepy and very jane.

"i need you to wake up, love," jane continues. "it's urgent."

katherine sleepily blinks her eyes open, squinting slightly as the world comes into focus. her eyes widen when she sees jane- or rather, herself- leaning over her, and she closes her eyes again.

“i’m still asleep,” she mumbles disbelievingly.

“i’m afraid not, love,” jane says softly, and katherine’s eyes snap open again.

katherine looks like she's about to immediately freak out, so jane sits down and holds her hands. "i don't know what's happened, but we'll figure it out-"

"what the FUCK?!" a distinctly aragon-sounding voice rings through the halls, but considering aragon's refusal to swear, jane starts to think it isn't aragon at all.

"we may not be the only ones," she comments quietly to katherine.

katherine nods, and it’s almost strange to see the very katherine-like look of worry on jane’s own face.

jane holds out a hand to katherine and the two make their way into the hallway.

aragon is standing there, although who she really is isn’t clear until she opens her mouth again.

“is this some kind of fucking joke? why did i wake up as this bitch?”

“good morning, anne,” jane takes a strong guess, and boleyn-in-aragon’s body turns to her.

“how did you know it was me?”

“lucky guess,” jane shrugs. “and also because you’re not the only one this has happened to.”

boleyn looks between katherine and jane, the pieces finally fitting together in her mind.

“how the hell did this happen?” boleyn demands, but katherine and jane can only shrug. they go to say more when a very boleyn-sounding screech comes from aragon’s room.

she bursts into the hall, looking at the trio desperately. “what is happening?” she nearly shrieks again.

boleyn just shrugs, excited to mess with aragon. “just a body-swap. nothing major.”

aragon almost chokes on her words. “nothing major?!”

“calm down, both of you,” jane says gently but firmly. aragon looks at her in shock, then it dawns on her.

“whatever... strange event caused this happened to you two as well?”

katherine nods and aragon’s lips purse in thought.

"i wonder if that means..." she trails off and looks towards cleves' room. as if she knew, cleves walks out the door and looks at them. she smiles. "i like being tall," she comments.

"hey, parr," jane greets, and the smile falters just slightly.

"i guess we all have this affliction?" she asks with a quirked eyebrow.

“however it happened, it hit all of us,” aragon nods.

there’s a loud clattering from parr’s room and a very dishevelled-looking parr rushes out (or rather, cleves in parr’s body).

“what the fuck is happening?” she asks bluntly.

"hey," parr says, looking down at her with a pointed eyebrow, "no swearing in my body."

"same to you," says aragon to boleyn.

"how on earth did this happen?" katherine asks.

"i don't think any of us really know, kid," says parr. "but i think we should figure it out."

"wait," boleyn suddenly says, "are we supposed to go on for our show like this tonight?"

silence falls over them as this fact slowly sinks in.

“maybe we’ll be back to normal by then,” jane says slowly, as if trying to reassure everyone, but parr sighs.

“if i had to guess, whatever strange magic did this will probably last the day, at least.”

“how the hell do you know that?” boleyn frowns, and parr blushes slightly.

“it tends to work like that in the books i read.”

whatever it was, jane finds she’s incorrect about it. because showtime comes, and they are all still trapped in each other. they know it would sound crazy to try and cancel a show because they somehow swapped bodies, so they spend the half hour before the show studying each other’s lines.

for kat and jane it’s fairly simple, they know each other’s parts inside and out, but both are somewhat worried about the songs. how can they pull the emotion the other always does?

aragon and boleyn are ready to murder each other if a single thing goes wrong, parr is stressed trying to perfect her mannerisms, and cleves is just very, very relaxed.

the show opens well enough; boleyn almost forgets she’s ‘divorced’ instead of ‘beheaded’ but manages to cover it in time.

they manage to get through the entire first number without incident, although their usual energy is slightly lacking as everyone concentrates as hard as they can on not forgetting the words to each other’s roles.

boleyn purely on accident and based on what she thinks of aragon sometimes, makes ‘no way’ sound a bit too bitchy and bitter.

aragon, in retaliation, sets up and delivers ‘don’t lose ur head’ as if boleyn was a complete airhead.

the tensions are rising as it comes to katherine’s number, and her anxiety shakes her bones.

having to give the speech beforehand about loving henry, even in character as jane, makes katherine’s stomach twist and feel nauseous. she pushes through it, wanting to do jane’s story justice as well as she possibly can.

she’s listened to the words of the song hundreds of times before, but there’s something about singing them that makes them hit slightly differently.

hearing jane’s voice come out of her own mouth sounds weird, but she focuses on the words, imagining she’s singing them back to jane, the woman she never truly could live without anymore.

she hears the harmonies building behind her as she grows closer to the iconic riff, and before she fully knows how she’s doing it, she’s hitting the whistle tones and singing like it’s all she has.

then she realizes she’s crying.

she manages to get to the end of the song before her sobs catch in her throat and constrict her voice. the audience cheers and applauds and after aragon delivers boleyn’s beheading-related punchline the queens exit the stage, except parr who prepares to introduce haus of holbein.

katherine tries to hurriedly wipe the tears from her eyes when suddenly jane appears in front of her, arms outstretched and pulling katherine into a tight hug. they don’t have much time, not with the show still ongoing, but jane still holds katherine close for several seconds, taking the rare height advantage to press a kiss to the top of katherine’s head.

haus of holbein is always chaotic, just as nature of the song, but tonight was a bit wilder as usual as they all tried to remember what the lines of the others were.

katherine would later say that parr had ‘the time of her life’ during get down. there was a seemingly calculated form of seduction to her words, as opposed to cleves’ normal sort of party-time fun.

jane realized immediately after that it was her turn to perform.

she goes through katherine’s monologue at the beginning of the song, drawing on all kat’s sassy little mannerisms, but her mind is occupied with anxiety.

katherine’s song was intense. not only was it by far the longest with some of the hardest vocals (although katherine would insist it wasn’t and that aragon’s and jane’s were harder), but it was the content jane feels most nervous about. katherine’s story deserves to be done justice.

when the song starts, she does what kat seemed to do effortlessly every time: start with the innocent, childlike excitement at being called beautiful and saying they had a connection, no matter how many times she thinks she wants to murder mannox with her bare hands.

same with dereham’s verse, keeping it light and fun. feeling the other queen’s hands on her is an uncomfortable experience, but she feels a hand lightly and comfortingly squeeze her shoulder and she knows it’s katherine.

when it ramps up to the verse about henry jane feels that familiar creeping sense of guilt.

this was the man she had loved, preying upon katherine as she tried to navigate the difficult world of court, and she can’t help but feel incredibly sick.

then, of course, comes the dreaded culpeper verse. anger starts to bubble in jane, coupled with anxiety and an overwhelming feeling of sickness. they mix and become so horribly strong that jane collapses to her knees during the final chorus, lyrics clawing out of her throat as she finishes the song.

as she kneels there, panting for breath, part of her wonders if this is how katherine feels every day when she sings her song, having to relive all the traumas of her life one by one.

she remembers, suddenly, that first week of rehearsals, of katherine having an anxiety attack in the stairwell but pushing onwards because she needed to tell her story.

with one final gasp of breath, jane gets to her feet, delivering the comic line designed to alleviate the tensions built by the song. “and then i was beheaded.”

cleves takes parr’s role with ease and swagger, adding a suave bit of depth of parr’s song, especially during the uptempo.

but it’s during ‘six’ that jane nearly cries, as katherine looks her dead in the eyes and sings, “since my first son, my family’s grown,” with the tiniest of smiles.

when the show ends, everyone frozen in their end poses before cleves grabs a camera from the front row, there’s a moment of sheer relief that they made it through the show without any incidents.

once everyone is backstage cleves pulls them all into a group hug, and despite their annoyance at each other even aragon and boleyn join in.

it’s an odd experience for sure, the whole day had been a trip, but jane still is feeling the lingering anxiety from her performance, and katherine is still somewhat emotional from performing as jane and watching jane. neither were easy, and it makes her pull her mum into a quiet area to talk.

“are you alright?” they ask each other in perfect unison, both in a soft and caring voice.

katherine replies first, shrugging her shoulders slightly.

“i’m fine, mum. it’s not the first time your song has made me cry onstage.” she gives a small, slightly awkward half-laugh. “but how’re you feeling? that looked... rough,” she finishes, slightly quieter than before.

jane gives a forced chuckle and looks down. so perceptive, her katherine was.

“i wanted to do you justice,” jane admits softly. “and then i started just... thinking about it all.” she gives a small sigh, then looks at katherine oddly shyly. “i didn’t want to let you down, love.”

jane barely realizes katherine is moving until she’s pulling jane into a tight hug. she’s taken aback for a brief moment but then wraps her arms around katherine.

“you didn’t let me down,” katherine mumbles. “you did amazingly.”

hearing those words, so similar to what she would say to katherine, in her own voice, makes jane’s head spin. but she holds on to her daughter, running her fingers through much shorter and thinner hair than normal.

“you were the real star of the night, love,” she whispers, “you were amazing.”

she can feel the warmth of katherine’s blush against her shoulder, through the costume that’s much less... substantial than the one jane normally wears.

“i didn’t do anything,” katherine says slightly shyly. “it was your voice. i could never hit those notes otherwise.”

jane gives a small chuckle and presses a kiss to her temple. “even if it was my voice, it was still your singing. and you did so well, my kitty-kat, you blew me away.” she strokes katherine’s back lightly, then, “i’m so proud of you, like always.”

katherine grins, pulling away slightly. “i’m proud of you too, mum.”

jane finds herself unable to stop smiling at that.

the door suddenly opens to reveal cleves, who pokes her head around the door. “sorry to interrupt,” she says. “we were gonna head out for a celebratory drink after we’ve changed. do you two wanna come with?”

jane and katherine look at each other and smile. “if we can’t figure this out, may as well make the best of it.”

as katherine would find out after her second drink, her tolerance for alcohol had not come with her, and she was already feeling pretty tipsy.

jane is still sober, the only one and the designated driver, even as several men she’s never met try to buy her drink after drink, and she refutes then every time.

a slightly worrying point comes about halfway through the night, when a man doesn’t quite take the hint of jane telling him she’s not interested.

both katherine and cleves notice, and before katherine can say anything cleves jumps to her feet, the alcohol clearly making her forget she’s now a lot smaller than she usually is.

“hey!” she calls. “she said to leave her alone!”

the man, leaning on the counter pretty close in jane's personal space, looks to cleves with a menacing grin. "what are you going to do about it, kid?"

"kid?" cleves sputters. "i'm no kid!"

the man rolls his eyes and presses himself a step closer to jane. "now where were we, darling?"

jane puts her hands up. "please, i'm not interested. just leave me alone."

he sets down his drink and takes both of her hands, sweeping her out onto the packed dance floor, a solid wall of people between them and the rest of the queens.

katherine’s mind slips into panic so quickly that she acts on autopilot. before anybody can stop her she’s making her way into the dance floor, physically pushing past people in her search for jane.

she finally spots her own distinctive pink ponytail and forces her way through the crowd to where the man had dragged jane.

jane, frankly, wishes that katherine had just stayed put. she could deal with this guy, but she didn't want katherine getting involved in this.

before she reaches them, the man pulls her against him in a lewd dance. one of his hands roams down and settles on her back end, and that's when she shoves him away with all the might she can.

it only takes him a second to react, and the back of his hand connects with her cheek, sending her spilling to the floor.

katherine gasps at the sight and all she can do is act on pure instinct.

she screams as loudly as she can, the piercing sound cutting through the music of the bar and making people turn and stare. the man looks between jane, still sprawled on the floor, and katherine, currently screaming her head off, and he takes a step backwards.

a hand suddenly clasps over katherine's mouth, and boleyn's voice, meaning aragon was truly behind her, starts hissing in her ear. "you aren't a teenager anymore, katherine. get a hold of yourself."

katherine turns sharply to face her. "that's my mum he was manhandling."

"i know, katherine," aragon says, slightly calmer, "but you have to act like jane. an adult."

"what the fuck is wrong with you, lady?" the man calls. he hauls jane back on her feet, still dazed from the blow that apparently no one saw, too busy dancing, and starts to bring her towards the door.

now well aware of the situation, boleyn and parr step in his way as cleves rushes off to find a bouncer, cursing her new decidedly non-intimidating frame with every second.

“excuse me,” boleyn says firmly. “take your hands off her right now.”

the man rolls his eyes, clearly frustrated at the amount of people trying to get in his way today. “she can make her own decisions.”

“she can,” parr adds, folding her arms and glaring at him. “but you don’t seem to be letting her.”

jane vaguely hears familiar voices, but her head is still ringing from the impact that she can’t place them.

“i have done nothing of the sort yet,” the man defends himself. “she’s gone with me willingly this whole time.”

“bullshit,” boleyn challenges. “you have not, and you can’t even say you have.”

the man finally gets too fed up to continue with this. maybe getting laid tonight just wasn’t worth it. he releases his grip on jane’s waist and rushes out of the bar as she crumbles to her knees, dazed and unable to see straight.

boleyn and parr immediately rush over to her, boleyn supporting her under her arms and helping her over to the booth in the corner where they could have some space.

“jane? jane, can you hear me?” parr asks softly.

“jesus, he must have done something,” boleyn murmurs to parr, clearly worried. “she didn’t have anything to drink so there’s no other reason for her to be this out of it.”

katherine finally breaks away from aragon and rushes over to the corner booth, where parr and boleyn are both trying to get jane’s attention, but her eyes are far away and she seems very unreactive.

“mum?” katherine whispers, settling into the seat beside jane, but there’s no response. “i saw him hit her,” she says to parr after a moment. “but that doesn’t seem like enough to cause this!”

“it might be a side effect of... whatever happened to us this morning.” parr looks grim, her frown looking out of place on cleves’ usually amused face. “or maybe the show is still affecting things.”

she gives katherine a look which lets her know she’d picked up on jane’s anxiousness during and after the show too, and katherine gives a small nod.

boleyn gives her a gentle pat on the back. “if anyone’s gonna get through to her, it’s gonna be you, kitty. if not then we’ll have to call an ambulance.”

katherine gives a firm nod of her head and looks at her mum, staring blankly at the table. feeling very awkward but knowing what she needed to do, she reaches out and taps jane’s shoulder. “mum? can you hear me? it’s kitty.” she swallows hard. “i need you mama, please come back,” she pleads quietly.

there’s a twitch in jane’s nose, then suddenly she inhales like she’s never been able to before. “what happened?” she mumbles out, eyes half-closed.

“there was this guy, he wouldn’t let you go,” katherine’s eyes are wide as she grabs hold of jane’s hands, so thankful she’s awake. “he hit you, and then parr and annie confronted him and he left but you were out of it and-”

“kat,” jane interrupts, voice hoarse. “calm down, love.” even though she’s much less lucid than usual and she’s still slightly dazed, her first concern is to stop katherine’s panic. she reaches up half-blindly and places one hand on katherine’s cheek, hoping the contact would soothe her daughter.

it’s an odd experience, looking at her own face and feeling her own hand on her cheek, but for a moment she forgets that she sees herself and imagines it’s really jane, because it is. jane is in there, trying to help her.

katherine shoots forward and leans against jane, resting her head against her shoulder as she tries not to get more upset. “i was so worried about you,” she mumbles.

“it’s gonna take more than that to take me down,” jane says with a weak chuckle. “besides, i had you to look out for me, didn’t I?”

katherine feels a wave of guilt run through her and she curls up against jane even more.

“i didn’t do anything,” she admits. “i tried, but i was useless.”

those words must have triggered something in her head, because suddenly jane feels more awake and she pulls away slightly. “listen here, katherine seymour,” she says quietly yet firmly, hooking katherine’s chin with a crooked finger so their eyes meet. “you have never been and never are useless. you’re the one who brought me back, love, and i don’t want you to ever think you’re useless because that’s just not true.”

katherine doesn’t seem entirely convinced and she shrugs weakly, the familiar expression of youthful self-consciousness and anxiety clear even using jane’s features.

“i wish i could have done more, though,” is all she says, dropping her gaze from jane’s.

jane leans in to softly kiss her forehead. “you did everything you could, love, and i hold absolutely no resentment about anything, i promise.” she catches katherine’s chin again. “i love you, kitty-kat, in this life or any other.”

“this is touching an all,” boleyn interrupts, “but we should probably start heading on. don’t want any more of this happening.”

“i’m not sure jane should drive after what just happened,” parr adds. “we should probably take a taxi home.”

parr rounds everybody up and they’re soon waiting outside for the taxi they ordered, specifically one with enough seats for everyone.

katherine hasn’t yet let go of jane, clinging to her side and shivering slightly in the cold evening air.

jane takes advantage of her newfound height to let katherine curl and rest her head on her shoulders. “i’ve got you, love,” she murmurs, hoping the familiar words ring true to katherine even though they come from a different voice. “mama’s got you, kitty-kat.”

katherine clings to her even tighter, seeking as much comfort as possible. when the taxi arrives katherine ends up settled between jane and boleyn and she closes her eyes, resting her head on jane’s shoulder.

after a few minutes jane seems to think she’s asleep and she presses a kiss to the top of katherine’s head. “that’s it, love, you rest now.”

“how are you doing, jane?” aragon asks seriously from the front seat.

jane shrugs slightly, aware of katherine against her. "i've been better," she says quietly. "i've just been so nervous all day. i didn't want to mess up at the show." she looks down at her daughter on her shoulder, complete with a content smile and close eyes. "she deserves to have her story told right. i didn't want to mess that up."

“do you think this is going to stick? the whole body swap thing?” parr wonders out loud, and the rest fall silent.

none of them were quite sure how they’d cope having to stay in someone else’s body for much longer. performing one show was difficult enough, but living as them? having to pretend in every interview and show and social media that they were another person?

it's a bit scary to think about, truthfully, and jane fights off a shudder at the thought of it.

they are all incredibly silent the rest of the ride home, boleyn and aragon not even in the mood to bicker.

katherine refuses to leave jane's side when they get home, inviting herself into jane's bed for the night and jane, of course, agrees.

katherine instinctively collects her warmest most comforting pair of pyjamas to wear before suddenly realising she couldn’t, not while she wasn’t inhabiting her own body. she clutches her pink bear to her chest instead to provide some comfort, hands uncomfortably playing with the sleeves of her borrowed pyjamas until jane climbs into the bed and opens her arms for her daughter.

katherine immediately curls into jane's embrace, although it feels radically different with their new body structures, but she tries to ignore that, especially as jane hums a soft and familiar lullaby. it's higher than it normally is, but the notes are the same, and soon katherine is drifting off to sleep, jane following her only a moment later.

---

the next morning when jane wakes up, the first thing she notices is her head is on someone's shoulder.

she sleepily opens her eyes and recognizes she's being held. with a smile, she sees katherine, the real katherine, still fast asleep, and jane smiles as a familiar lock of blonde hair drifts in front of her eyes. they're back.

when katherine stirs a while later her eyes drift half-open, and a slightly quizzical look crosses her face.

“mum?” she asks, voice thick with sleep. jane smiles softly at her.

“i’m here, love. back to normal. and so are you.”

“good,” katherine yawns. “no offence, but i kinda like living in my own body.” jane laughs at that, her smile growing.

“no offence taken, kitty-kat.”

15.4 Thoughts

Well... at least this episode didn’t destroy me, which is something... I guess. Gosh... this season WILL be the death of me. At least they didn’t make us watch the break-up again. I was worried that was going to be in the ‘Then’ opening of the show... 

Anywho, here we go, episode 4 thoughts!

Here are the things I liked (& my feelings didn’t mind): 

HOT DAMN bearded Dean being all sexy and rugged and badass in that red lighting

BENNY!!! (let’s ignore the context of Benny for now... we’re keeping my feelings happy here)

The whole veggie bacon ordeal

the way Dean mouths the quote along with Sam

the way they argue about Dean being the ‘meat man’

Sammy realizing the bacon is real - & Dean being all proud ‘damn right it is’ because he’s the meat man

I’m sorry but that tiny coffee cup in Sam’s huge hand is just adorable

Getting back to the good ol’ days:

Finding a case, “sounds exactly like our thing, so let’s go check it out”

Sam’s face is so DONE with the parents saying the lacrosse game getting canceled will be the end of the world - “The end of the world IS the end of the world”

Dean’s obsession with this mascot lol

Also, that ‘someone has a fetish’ comment about the cheerleaders

The fact that Dean’s eating in almost every scene (do you think Jensen was just super hungry? Since he was the director?)

BECKY!!

Chuck acting like a crazy, desperate, pathetic ex

Becky’s etsy site for unofficial spn merch

Becky putting Chuck in his place about writing/his writing

THE FACT THAT BECKY WRITES #DOMESTIC FANFIC

Let’s be honest - Becky TOTALLY ships Destiel 100%

I need to read all of Becky’s domestic destiel fics (or all of them in general)

All of Becky’s decorations - the spn christmas poster, the Funko figures, the plushies of Sam, Dean, & Cas on the shelf (I totally have that Dean plushie - thank you @foreveranonymousuniverse for that), the mini Harvelle’s Roadhouse 

Is it just me, or is Becky’s wallpaper in her living room exactly like the wallpaper in a lot of the boys’ motels in the show?

“You want me to fluff you”

Becky defending fan-fic “writing is writing”

Her rant about Chuck’s bad story - “Nobody even mentions Cas!”

I wrote poor Billy down because he seemed to have these crazy, overbearing parents, and he clearly doesn’t want to be this great Lacrosse player they want him to be, and I was getting total Dean vibes from my fic Lucky Charm.... but poor Billy for so many other reasons now that I’ve seen the whole episode... just... poor Billy

Dean calling that girl out on her fake speech (& then the super awkwardness of the boys when they have to slink away because she has braces) - more on the speech below

Here are things I liked (but hit me right in the feels...):

BENNY

I’m so thankful this wasn’t a Dean dream, because if Dean was dreaming this, the moment with Benny would have wrecked me completely

Still, though, that “I’ll see you on the other side brother” came close to killing me. 

The whole dream with Dark Sammy 

Sioux Falls mention! Bobby! Jody!

Dean telling Sammy this isn’t him, it’s the demon blood

SAMMY KILLED DEAN. KILLED HIM. HE KILLED DEAN. 

It’s almost worse that the dream is Sam’s instead of Dean’s, because Dean fearing for his own safety is one thing, but Sam fearing for other people’s safety is heartbreaking. 

Sam in this episode... (no wonder Jared’s mental health isn’t the best right now, jeez...)

His speech about the white picket fence ‘bubble’ that the town gets to live in

His comment about how they have to carry the weight of everything

Dean pulling out his flask as he listens to Sammy say things that Dean has always said - because it’s usually Sam’s job to talk him out of this dark place, and now Dean doesn’t know what to do

Later, Sam admitting he feels empty, and he misses Jess </3

Dean trying to talk Sammy out of it, saying they’re free with this relieved kind of smile, saying they need to keep doing the hard job for the people that cared about them, for Jack and mom and Rowena and everyone else.

& Sammy saying “I don’t feel free” & “Sometimes it’s like I can’t breathe” & when Dean asks what happens if that feeling doesn’t go away, and they silently exchange that look... 

BECKY DON’T TELL CHUCK TO WRITE WTF ARE YOU DOING

At least Chuck admitted to not being able to see them anymore... that’s a plus... 

Chuck’s comment “I’ll give you danger” - gosh Becky, why did you push this man?!?!?!

That girl’s speech: did anyone else see Destiel parallels? It’s literally a speech about how she misses her best friend. How life won’t be the same. Etc. Sure, it’s clearly fake, but that seems to piss Dean off more when he calls her out on that - & Dean can tell it’s fake because he feels those things for real. He has his own special ‘ghost orchard’/’snowflake’ that he’s missing. 

SPEAKING OF DESTIEL PARALLELS

Dean talking to Sammy about ‘moving on’ & he has to pause before saying that, and he looks pained like he’s remembering Cas saying it to him

& Sam putting Dean in his place, shutting that idea down, saying he can’t move on. It’s impossible. 

The scene with Dean, Sam, and the parents. When Dean comments on their ‘awesome parenting’ & the dad says “you don’t have children, do you?”

The look on Dean’s face is heartbreaking... 

& later, when they both admit that they’d do the same for Jack... it hurts. It hurts a lot. 

OF COURSE they have to turn the classic ‘let’s just get back to what we’re good at and try to move on’ episode into something SOUL CRUSHING. 

Poor Billy (I know, a broken record, but omg)

And the fact that Billy just gives himself over, and he sits on his knees crying, and Dean has to execute the poor kid like that, and Sam can barely watch

Chuck is seriously fucked up (I mean, we knew this, but still... my god - pun intended - this dude is fucking crazy)

The ominous ‘ending’ he wrote

How he doesn’t know how he’ll get there, but he’ll get there somehow

Becky saying it’s dark. Saying he can’t do it to the fans. “What you did to Dean... What you did to Sam...” “It’s awful, horrible, hopeless”

"Oh Becky, I can do anything. I’m a writer”

Chuck envisioning “Supernatural: The End” with the gravestone on the cover that just reads ‘Winchester’ (btw, if it’s jut one gravestone, do you think only one of them died? Or are they buried together? Or were they given a hunter’s funeral, and the gravestone is just there to commemorate them???)

Chuck making Becky’s family disappear! Making her panic and cry! Then doing it to her! al;do’rihigjsgk’dma I HATE HIM

Chuck at the very end, writing so hard that Dean & Sam’s figurines are bobbing. “Oh yeah, this is gonna be good”

Yeah... not looking like it’ll be good Chuck. NOT LOOKING LIKE IT WILL BE GOOD AT ALL!

I guess now I’ll go write the CODA... I’m thinking I might take the Becky road and give the boys some good ol’ domestic fluff. Don’t they deserve that? They deserve that. 

** Thanks for coming to my ted talk. If you enjoyed it, or enjoy any of my stuff in general, please consider becoming a patron [HERE] or buying me a quick coffee [HERE]! Every dollar helps <3

March 28th-April 3rd, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble   chat that occurred from March 28th, 2020 to April 3rd, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

How many hours do you work on your comic per week, and how do you manager to balance that with other responsibilities?

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

heheh So we are.. cheating a bit Both me and my coworker are unemployed, and is working on hour comic, like was it a full time job. It is our passion project, and dream that we can work and live of makeing comics. In Denmark you can apply for grants from the government, but you need to have releashed a book before that is possible. We are useing the comic, to show potentional clients in the future what we can do. For now we are working on it from 09:00-17:00 ish (with a long lunch break) while applying for other kinds of grants, and also does all the things we are supposed to to get our unemplyment money, and searching for jobs, and freelance gigs, gathering the courage to start our own small company (not right now though) and yeaah time will tell

carcarchu

@Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS that doesn't sound like cheating to me? more like using the tools at your disposal to turn your passion into a viable career

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

hehe it feels a little like cheating! there are some debates about if it is okay or not, but we think that strengthening our skills is a good use of our time

eli [a winged tale]

Haha also not cheating! It’s great you’re using the time to chase the dream I’m curious what’s your breakdown for those time working on the comic? As for me, usually 1-2 hours a day with a bit more on the weekend if time permits. These days with the quarantine it’s about 2-3 h a day

DanitheCarutor

Since I'm unemployed until who knows when I've been working on my comic between 40-50 hours a week about 6 to 7 days a week... most weeks. Some days, like update day or chore day, I hardly work on the comic or don't work on it at all. Admittedly I'm not the best at balancing drawing with other responsibilities, sometimes I get so into it that I forget about daily house chores, other weeks I do the opposite and only do house chores which makes me totally behind of comic stuff. I can't seem to find a good middle ground, it always turns into completely focusing on one or the other.

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah when I get in the zone, time flies and life gets put to the wayside

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

So I have no school or work, so the webcomic has become almost a fulltime project for me

I average about 10 hours per day working on it, not counting on chores and exercise

Another thing I worry about is the possibility of carpal tunnel syndrome, which is why I've been relentless with exercise, too

I guess it's just a combination of relentless reminders and also sheer willpower that gets me to do other responsibilities haha

@eli [a winged tale] also I know that feeling

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

So since my school had to cancel, I have to be more responsible for my online course. Sometimes I give myself 2 days off each week to work more into my upcoming webcomic but I have to switch my mind for school work, online classes. Also extra time for food. I need to get back into exercise or I feel exhausted more easily. I keep a wall schedule so that I make it a routine to write what I'll do every 3 or 5 days, to keep my active brain reminded(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I spent the majority of last year (fun)employed (partially by choice, partially not! my previous job let me go rather unceremoniously... and I needed a hiatus anyway... so it worked out) so I poured a lot more hours into that chapter of Phantomarine than I usually did. I worked on it almost every day - at least for a couple of hours, but sometimes up to a full eight-hour day. That number has dipped tremendously since I’ve gone back to work, but I’m spreading the same amount of time out in a broader way. I’m trying to get a good buffer during my hiatus, so I can work and draw in a healthy balance. I don’t have crazy overtime at my current job like I did at my last one, so that’s already a comfort. I’m confident I’ll be able to hit a good stride once the comic returns in June (edited)

eli [a winged tale]

Can’t wait Lady!!

Feather J. Fern

Two part time jobs, and school killed my comic, but I been working on getting one panel done a day, which is around 30minutes to an hour if possible.

eli [a winged tale]

My routine used to be rendering on the commute but now just once in am and once pm until this limbo time is clarified

That’s awesome Feather! It’s so rewarding when everything comes together after putting effort everyday

Feather J. Fern

Once school is done in two more weeks I will be more free to do things so I hope to get maybe two panels done in a day XD

Online school, stupid quarantine

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Due to the pandemic im mostly off school and my part time job so i spend like 4-5 hours on my comic per day. Still would like try to get a page done per day but lmao digital painting is slowwww

eli [a winged tale]

What’s everyone’s tips for breaks/stretches/balance? I feel like I certainly need to revisit these to avoid burnout and continue feeling motivated!

Feather J. Fern

Actually there was a cool manga artist who's tip was literally he only worked working hours. His mornings are free and since manga was his job, he worked form 12-6, giving him 2 hours to do other work he needs to get done, and takes morning walks and stuff.

Another person I know had "No working weekends" as a thing becuase they are a freelancer.

I personally have try to make sure I ahve a routine, and actually, stretch before drawing.

Streetch before, during a break, and then after, to keep that body nice and warmed up

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Health-wise there's this hing for your : every 20 minutes, look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds. I'm not good at following this, but when I do it, it helps a lot.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Despite the current pandemic, my work-life hasn't changed much (unless you count stress getting in the way). I am currently "unemployed," but I do consider comicking my full-time job. I am also not very good at balancing work and life. Something's always gotta give. Last year, I worked at a job that basically ruined my ability to work on my comic. I worked 30-40 hours typically, ruined my sleep schedule, took work home sometimes, and was constantly exhausted. This is what resulted in my year and a half long hiatus, and it's what drove me to work like hell on my comic when I quit. Now (when I'm in the groove and not suffering from art block), I typically spend 60-70 hours on my comic and get 2-3 pages done: - 30 hours sketching (I know, ridiculous) - 5 hours filling in base colors - 20-25 hours painting - 5 hours adding text, speech bubbles, sfx, and finishing touches - 1-2 hours formatting for Webtoon I also spend some time throughout the week typing up the script, doing concept art for things coming in the future of the comic, and preparing for conventions, but I can't tell you exactly how much time.

eli [a winged tale]

Thanks for the breakdown! I’m always keen to learn from everyone and seeing how the workflow is like for different people

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

oh don't forget to do wrist stretches!

eli [a winged tale]

Ahh formatting time is always so tedious for me!

Yes wrist exercises! Any recommendations?

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

hmmm well the easiest one is literally just shaking it out

like every hour

and I also like to hold my arm out parallel, point my fingers up and using my other hand to pull the fingers back so i'm stretching the wrist

then I point the fingers down and pull on the fingers until my wrist is stretching

eli [a winged tale]

Awesome. Will be adopting those!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I'm pretty fast. 2-6 hours per page, depending on how detailed it is. Average of 3-4. I could probably do 2 pages/ week easily enough, but don't want to do more than that. I'm the kind of person who always needs to be doing a million different things. I need to leave time for my other hobbies and my paintings and my academics and extracurriculars. Otherwise I'd get burnt out doing one thing only

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

@eli [a winged tale] So since it is both me and @Q (Wayfinders: Off Course) working, we start with working on a rough each, our goal is one step (so rough, ink, color) for two pages pr day, pr person. So in a weak the goal is four finished pages a week, and then we upload 3 pages per week. So it is divided that in the morning we start at 09:00 in the morning, maybe checking mail, being practical or whatever. Then we work until 12:00 were we eat lunch, go for a long nice walk and then we go back to work between 13:00 and 14:00 ish and then work until 17:00 when we begin to prepare dinner. Then of course breaks inbetween

Q (Wayfinders: Off Course)

It’s pretty wild to be able to dedicate your entire day to comics like that

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

damn you all work fast

do you guys have any tips on how to work on a webcomic faster?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Lol, I wish!

Still looking for those magical secrets

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@shadowhood (SunnyxRain) You know the 80-20 rule? You can get 80% of the result with 20% of the effort? My comic is very messy if you zoom in. I don't spend time making sure the linework or the coloring is perfectly clean. Also, I'm pretty fast at drawing figures. I used to practice figure drawing a lot by rushing to draw strangers irl before they moved, or by drawing a bunch of fast figures from the free figure drawing model websites online. I've also taken a figure drawing course (didn't even have to pay because it was part of my university! Even if you don't have that option you can probably find free life drawing sessions on Meetup or similar!) which really helped me streamline my process for drawing people

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Oh I see! Yes, I used to take life drawing classes too! And your response makes me feel a lot better

I tend to be a bit messy with inking, and since i'm a perfectionist a lot of my time is wasted on editing/clean up

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've seen cronaj draw, and while I think the results look excellent, I think her method is a kind of inefficient. She draws like a printer, nearly finishing one detailed body part before moving on the the next. I think maybe if she drew in a more classical way, going from a gesture drawing to progressively more detailed, it might help her be faster and her poses more cohesive and dynamic. Maybe working on 1 or 5 min figures would help? Practicing things like this?

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah I try to do figure practices for efficiency

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I heard that there are some online life drawing vids you can follow too

but what are your experiences with online life drawing vids versus the real thing

like is there a real difference?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

found some of my old 1 minutes

To me there's not too much difference

I've heard some people say that life drawing is either way easier or way harder though. Because of your depth perception when looking at a real person

But the bruises on my legs can attest to my horrid depth perception haha. That might be why I don't notice a difference

Actually those previous sketches might be 30 seconds? I don't remember

I would recommend you try both but right now we pretty much only have the online option haha

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah I’ve done both and I think irl creates complexity with depth and the interactions with others etc is helpful but online is my go to for flexibility

I think having a process streamlined will make things more efficient. The downside is that it might feel tedious and I do switch it up from time to time for variety

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Might feel uncomfortable but that's how you know you're improving

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There is a TON of difference for me. I HAVE to look at a physical model in front of me.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Can't get better if you always do the same things

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

This is what my brain does.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I wonder- could drawing yourself in a mirror be a decent substitute?

If youre lucky you might also be able to ask an SO or roommate to model for you. Should probably pay them back by cooking for them or something though

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Brain: sees a real model in front of me Brain: translates 3D to 2D, result: drawing Brain: sees a photo/video of a model Brain: SHIT. That's supposed to be 3D, isn't it? Brain: Translates 2D to 3D (basically re-constructing it in my head, or attempting to re-construct) so that it can translate it back to 2D Brain: BSOD

There's some online resources out there that have "3D" photos... you know, two near-identical images side by side, so if you look at it cross-eyed, it becomes 3D?

But I can't do those because I get a headache X'D

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Just thinking about drawing from that makes me dizzy

eli [a winged tale]

Oh interesting!

Yeah maybe looking out the window to draw people would be the way to go...

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But maybe figure drawing in VR exists?

eli [a winged tale]

Balcony figure drawings

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I live on the top floor so those are going to be some very small figures

eli [a winged tale]

For ants

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Once this coronavirus thing is over, there's lots of ways you can do gesture drawings from just random people -- bus stops, cafes, museums (I have not done this, but people who have done this report this is really good because others assume you're drawing the artworks. XD)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've done this a lot

Sometimes I've even shown people drawing of themselves if they've turned out particularly nice

They've always taken it well

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I like drawing my professors because they use hand gestures a lot when they talk

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Airport was REALLY good for finding people stuck in one pose indefinitely

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

they alwayas laugh when I show them

eli [a winged tale]

Shadow omg I do that too

Draws classmates

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

yeah the only issue i have with drawing classmates

is that they're always doing the "i'm using my phone" pose

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Become the master of drawing people on their phones

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Maybe try drawing children on the playground?

This works better if you're a woman

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

oh thank jesus

I also like going to the zoo or the museum

or the aquarium if i'm feeling adventurous

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I am a University student so I also have some pretty interestng drawings of people asleep in weird poses

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I really need to start going to weekly figure drawing sessions once this is over (there's one here... 20 min drive... 8AM Saturdays )

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

ditto or just go to the park and draw

and @Eightfish (Puppeteer) I've had some.....weird poses from all my profs

one guy was incredibly hard to draw; he was VERY enthusiastic about showing us knife skills

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The parks here are too spacious, to a degree where it's weird to get close enough to people

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Bring binoculars

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Don't worry ma'am I'm an artist

nothing sketchy

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

(except my sketch)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

A+ pun right there

another place to go for figure drawing

theaters

like.....opera/plays

I once tried drawing the men dancing in the Newsies musical

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Tried that once, but it took me out of the performance

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

same i was dazzled by dancing men

aaaaand then i abandoned sketching at all when they started throwing newspaper strips into the audience

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But they were giving you free paper!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

THEY WERE

i'll take what i can get

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) While I agree that my method of drawing is "inefficient," I do not draw like a printer. There are videos of people drawing like a printer and it's not what I'm doing. I have done gesture drawing before, but it always looked incredibly abstract, and not quite like people, which is fine, but not what I'm going for. I treat gesture drawing like a warm-up exercise. It doesn't really do anything for my end result, but gets my drawing muscles stretched out.(edited)

eli [a winged tale]

Gesture drawings are definitely a good warmup!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Perhaps it was an inappropriate analogy. What works for me I guess wouldn't work for everyone. I was trying to offer advice because whenever you talk about how much time you spend on art and you work life balance it's commendable but also dismaying. I hope you find something that works for you in the future

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Oh god.. I sometimes work 6 hours a day. I guess thats like 30 hours a week? Crazy to think about, it's like a full job

Oooh you guys are sharing figure drawings... I swant to show some of mine

Behold

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My figure drawing usually breaks down into like, medical anatomy study. I feel like I understand body shapes better by including the muscles & bones

carcarchu

ABS the most important figure study

Deo101 [Millennium]

ah figure drawing? I love figure drawing ^^

I do like a lot but this kinda thing is most of it

anyways as for the question at hand, I do a lot of different things for my comics weekly. My millennium pages take me 2-6 hours i would say, but I also have patreon things I need to do so I'd say i spend 10-15 hours on it a week. for my other comic, I spend about 6 hours an update, and it updates every other week. but honestly, all of my free time goes to assorted comics. If i'm not working on school work or chatting with people, I'm working on things for patreon, potential merch, or other comics I want to start sometime.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Oooh nice poses!!’

Deo101 [Millennium]

thanks!! I have a ton of gesture/figure drawings but these ones are my most recent that I have saved to my computer i think

10 minutes im pretty sure. very good for speeding up

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Those look really nice, good values

Deo101 [Millennium]

thanks ^^ I really hate working in charcoal honestly, it kinda always winds up hurting my body somehow, but its very quick sooooooo

kayotics

My answer for the prompt question has changed a lot since I started quarantine lmao... I used to do about 10 hours of work throughout the week on my comic page (usually after work, I have an office job) but ironically it’s gotten harder while I work from home. I’ve been struggling to find time since I don’t have a separation between work and home now, and putting the boundaries up of “I’m not always available” to coworkers is difficult.

Also on figure studies: they’re a great way to practice speed. I use the concepts of figure drawings all the time.

RebelVampire

@kayotics As someone who always works from home doing remote contract work, I have to say I think this is something a lot of people underestimate about work at home life. In that it's sometimes really difficult to establish boundaries with ppl and make them understand you aren't always available and also aren't gonna work billions of hours of overtime. So I'm sorry to hear that's affecting your comic work.

Shadowmark Productions

I work anywhere from 6-8 hours a day on comic stuff. That’s an average though. Sometimes I slack and need to pull all nighters to make up for it. Yes, I am terrible at time management. They say entrepreneurs are the only people willing to work 80 hours a week for themselves so they do not have to work 40 hours a week for someone else. I guess webcomic creators are the only people willing to work 80+ hours a week so that they can... go to work for someone else afterwards

AntiBunny

4 days of procrastinating, 1 of procrastinating and hating myself, and 2 of actual comic drawing seems to make up my weekly comic making schedule. :p

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I can only imagine how stressed I would be if I forced myself to update weekly

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

This is a hard question to answer because it varies a lot depending on my energy levels. Ideally I’d spend several hours a day on comics, but realistically I draw as much as possible when I have the energy (5+ hours a day for as many days in a row as I can handle it) and then go weeks or months too tired to do comics. On average, barring any long periods of exhaustion or other interruptions from RL, I spend about 20+ hours a week making pages for my comics.

sagaholmgaard

I prefer to work on my comic for about an hour ever morning and maybe 2-3 hours in the evening, that's the ideal routine for me. Right now I sadly have a lot of schoolwork to do (writing my thesis) so i might get less than 30 minutes in the morning and then feel rlly tired in the evening so I dont get as much time then either. but oh well!

I can still work for 4-5 hours on the weekends so I manage ^^(edited)

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

The whole stay-indoors order's currently completely wrecked my pattern, but before that I did between 3-4 hours a day.

Shadowmark Productions

Can’t imagine the stress of a daily or even weekly posting schedule. Hats off.

Answer all the OC questions Erika. D O I T

Alright then! lol I’ll do Persedimun Rigas as he is currently in the rp thread I have with my friends🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?

Percy feels most at home on his farm and anywhere in the ocean. He made the farm his own after he had been in hiding for centuries, and as a water dragon, he and the ocean are one. Percy was born up north somewhere deep in the ocean but left when he was old enough to separate from his family. There is absolutely someone who makes him feel at home, and home to him means somewhere he feels safe, happy, and can just be himself without holding anything back.🍄 What are your OCs favourite snacks? Their favourite comfort food which always cheers them up when they’re down? Favourite meal to make? Do they enjoy baking and cooking and are they any good in the kitchen?Percy has a sweet tooth and he’s not picky either, the man will eat about anything you give him. He’s also a big fan of soup, and any soup he can fix up is his go to in order to cheer him up, the same goes for favorite meal to make. He adores baking and cooking and he’ll tell you that he’s alright in the kitchen.

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themself? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favourite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

Percy doesn’t have many places to escape to, due to needing to keep himself inconspicuous from higher beings, and he doesn’t need to for the most part because his safe place is on the farm. If that place is compromised he disappears into the ocean for awhile.

🍂 Does your OC enjoy hugs? What do they do as a show of affection for: their friends, their family, their significant other(s) or for strangers? Over all what are they like with recieving affection from others?

He adores hugs and will readily give them out whenever it is needed. For friends and family he shows the same type of affection for both. He’s a very touchy guy, lots of pats and jokes, always ready to do something for them. The same goes for significant others actually, but more kisses involved, hand holding, and lingering touches. Does not hold back from PDA. For strangers he’s less involved with the touches. Percy loves receiving affection, and depending on what it is, may become bashful.

🌻 What little things do they notice about people or the world around them that make them happy? What tiny little treasures do they find in the normal every day that makes the world seem a little brighter for them?

Percy is a bit of a cheesy sap, and smiles and laughter really brings him in. The sounds of happiness really strikes him. The soft eyes of his cows, his dog, and the soft pattering of rain calms him.

🌾 Describe your OC through the eyes of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them

Persedimun is warm and soft, as well as a big boy who’s chest serves as the best pillow. He’s super goofy, adventurous, caring, and has incredibly kind eyes and gives the best hugs. Percy is a cheesy romantic and its adorable, his hands are rough but they hold what they cherish so delicately and tenderly, with every ounce of love and admiration he has to offer. He’ll hang on to every word you say and will say your voice is one of his favorite sounds.

 💐 How does your OC handle being unwell or forced to rest in bed? Who cares for them and in what ways? Does your OC enjoy being doted on or are they a terrible patient? Reversed: is your OC good at taking care of others who are ill or in need?

He’s not particularly a fan of being sick and he’s usually the one who takes care of himself, since he was a rogue dragon for a long time and he’s also by himself for the most part. He does, to an extent, like to be doted on, though he’d rather do the doting to the ones he cares about himself. He’s an excellent caretaker and usually stays by their side unless asked otherwise.

🌿 What way does your OC show that they care without using words? What way do others show your OC that they’re cared about without using speech?

As stated above, he shows that he cares about someone by always being willing to help them out, no matter what he’s doing or may want to do. Percy likes to take care of people. He also likes to give gifts, things that remind them of someone or he creates something.

🌳 What is your OC’s favourite way to relax after a stressful day? Do they have a favourite book to curl up with? A hobby? Or do they have a nice bubble bath and have an early night to bed?

He draws, paints, or naps, for the most part. If he could, he’d morph into his dragon form, hop into the ocean and sun himself on the surface like crocodiles do. Or he sits under a tree in the field, surrounded by cows and sheep and just looks out across the moors and into the trees, perhaps doodling. Percy’s an artist, and likes creating paintings or sketching, perhaps writing as well.

🌲 How deeply does your OC feel? Are they typically empathetic or do they have a hard time connecting with others in this way? What are they like when offering support and comfort to someone they care for?

Persedimun cares perhaps too much, sometimes. He’s incredibly empathetic and sympathetic, always available to lend a hand and help someone, whether it be an innocent bystander or someone they care about. Him caring about the wellbeing of his people led him to where he is now, shamed and hiding in the middle of Scotland by himself.

🌺 What does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? Do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? How do they handle this if they’re alone?

He usually stays up, gets out of bed and just looks outside and thinks to himself. Or he’ll go outside and listen to the sounds of the night, sit on the porch and just contemplate. He’s not too keen on asking other for help in this situation, and usually deals with it by himself unless they find out. He will accept help at that point, and contact is great at calming him down.

🌸 What are some of their favourite things and why? List as many as you can think of!

Naps, eating, shiny and pretty things, painting, the ocean, rain and storms, cows, being cozy and warm, sweaters, animals in general actually, flowers (specifically gladiolus).

🥀 How would your OC decorate a notebook or journal? What kind of things are written in there? Could you give an example of a nice entry?

If he can, will doodle on the cover and within as well. Would write about random thoughts and rambling, notes about what he’s learned about his curse, notes about his art, things for him to remember and things he does remember because if he’s not careful with his protection spells or forgets to bring his charm, he’ll slowly forget things that he should remember. An example of a nice entry would just be him rambling some random fact he learned today from one of his friends and a silly doodle at the end. 

🌼 Who are this characters friends and found family? How did they meet, how long have they been friends for, could they ever be something more than just friends? What do they look for in a friend or a romantic partner?

Percy’s new friends would be Matteo, Artemis, and Killian, who belong to @sanguinemori @cacticouture and @technologicalnoiz respectively. As it currently stands in the thread, the closest Percy is to any of them is Matteo. They technically first encountered each other in a seedy bar when some werewolf decided to insult Matteo’s sister and Matteo pulled a sword on him. Percy interceded before things got too crazy, as well as the other two. They haven’t known each other for long, but their chemistry is perfect, and there is definitely a chance that they could be more than just friends. 

What he looks for in a partner and in a friend is not much different from each other. He loves to hang out with adventurous people, people who know how to get rowdy and have fun, people who can be as goofy as him and don’t mind that he tends to ramble about things that sometimes don’t matter. And people who care, who are warm.

💫What is your favourite fact about this character and why?

My favorite fact about Percy is that when he became a god he was like “fuck hanging out and hiding in the clouds, I’m staying right here and interacting with my worshippers as if they were family and helping them directly” and I love that because how easy would it be if you were some guy in ancient Greece and you could just walk over and ask your local dragon god if he could make it rain since your crops aren’t getting enough water and he’s like “yeah no problem dude” and then it just happens. No middleman, no catch, nothing, just straight up answered.

☄️ Does this OC deserve better treatment from you? Do you make them suffer just a little bit too much? Be nice to them!

As of right now, his backstory takes the brunt of the suffering, but hey, there’s always room for more >:)

🌠 On a scale of 1 - 10 how Baby is your OC? 

on a scale of 1-10, Percy falls on a 6. He is baby to me, but I’m not actually sure how much baby.

💦 If you as the writer could erase one traumatic event from this OC’s life what would it be and why?

His rebellion caused a whole string of traumatic events, just one after another, but I’d take away him losing his first friends, where they were captured, stripped of their godhood and are now being tormented. Percy didn’t deserve to lose them, and there could’ve been a very high chance they all made it out alive. The man would probably be in a better place if he still had their support.

God this is a lot, sorry about this but those are all the asks Aary XDD as you requested! I had a lot of fun doing this!

Heartbeat: A Fragile Reminder

TITLE: Heartbeat: A Fragile Reminder

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 13 / ?

AUTHOR: brightsun-and-dark midnight

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki falling in love with a Midgardian and his words to Thor about Jane during Dark World coming back to haunt him. “It would be a heartbeat. You would never be ready.”

RATING:  M for Mature

NOTES/WARNINGS: ~▪︎~FOR THE WHOLE STORY~▪︎~

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Check Masterlist. It's going to be a long read. I try to keep each chapter around 3,000 words.

My Ao3: brightsun_and_darkmidnight

!-!TRIGGER WARNING(S)!-!

So many triggers, read ALL of them!

Swearing. Angst. Death. Depression. Violence. Self-harm. Regret. Carelessness for safety. Doubts. Torture. NSFW. Smut. Fluff. And Of Course- Mischief.

Summary: Out in the open.

 ~ ~ ENJOY  ~ ~

Many more weeks passed. The Avengers and civilians knew about their relationship since they went on more dates, took walks and browsed stores together. During all hours of the day when both of them were free from duties. 

Alicia went to press conferences to support him. They tried to question her, Alicia held her hands up as if to stop the questions, shook her head. Then pointed at the Avengers or Asgardians. "I'm not the one here to be questioned."

However things got really personal when a reporter asked, "How did you get a woman like Alicia? Especially with your history."

The look on Loki's face was confident but at the last statement she saw his eyebrows furrowed for a second. Then complete mischief in his eyes. "You think I had her fall for me?" 

Everyone was silent besides a few clicks of cameras. "Well yes," the waver in the reporter's voice was a stark contrast from the confidence he displayed earlier.

Alicia bit her lip trying not to laugh and to stop from smiling too big in anticipation.

"Well you all have seen her charm." Loki waved his hand towards Alicia. She shrugged dramatically at the attention and the room filled with laughter.

Every one knew of Alicia. The sweet girl with the God of lies.

However only Loki and SHIELD agents were aware Alicia was apart of SHEILD and was trained to protect herself. It was agreed among those people Alicia would be transferred to the Avengers and become part of that team soon.

Targets were on her head even more with their relationship official. There was a group chat found by SHIELD that people were planning on using her to get to Loki as revenge for New York. People had approached Alicia while Loki was, and was not present. Alicia used her wit and calming charm to keep the situation non violent as possible. In other words preventing Loki from killing anyone.

There were people who supported the relationship because they saw how happy both of them were. Alicia had won the hearts of those people herself, mostly. Loki had acquired several fan bases at how protective he was over her. Innocent chats had that perspective. 

Then, dark chats among the BDSM community made their desires for the dark prince unashamedly clear. People tried to flirt with both of them, Loki got jealous when Alicia was flirted with while Alicia found it amusing, greatly loving the sex after those encounters. No matter of how gentle or rough the sex was: Loki was persistent of being on top to be able to satisfy her.

The times when they both consented to rough love making Alicia loved reminders. Loki was very hesitant about not healing her but came to the agreement to leave his mark on places no one would see. He also made her agree to letting him heal her to a subtle discomfort. Loki knew by now how to handle her subspace and the aftermath that sometimes followed. A ton of cuddling, warmth, chocolate, and if they had time he would read or talk to her until she fell asleep.

The Avengers were fiercely protective of Alicia. They might have "happened to be in the same location as them." Loki held her close when Thor was around, those nights were particularly possessive. Loki loved to take her slowly but with dirty talk.

"You love when I take you like this?" Loki demanded in Alicia's ear, thrusting deep into her from behind and pulling on her hair. The other hand between her legs, fingers rubbing her very sensitive nerves as his arm pulled her backwards. She often was too wrapped into pleasure but Loki continued with his observation. "Love to have me absolutely crazy while you are so friendly with all those idiotic pursuers. And you don't want me to do anything to them. Yes, I know you love those encounters because you are always drenched with anticipation. Even now you are dripping down both of our thighs." 

Loki would roll his hips more dramatically that she loved, "ooh Darling. Are you so close now? I can feel you rippling with need. Maybe I should stop and leave you frustrated as I am-" 

Alicia would beg urgently for release, telling him she wasn't flirting. Loki knew she never flirted, but her being nice drove him insane. She did decline their advances and got closer to Loki. Of Course he would hold her and glare at the brave individual.

With a slap to her rear and a tug on her hair, he growled loudly,  "Must you always use the same excuse?" 

Alicia would apologize with her promise that he was the only one for her. 

"You be sure to remember that." And Loki would give her further reminders as to who she belonged to.

Loki did not need to worry so much when they went to Asgard. She was dressed in his colors which marked her as his. No one dared to step out of line like the disrespectful Midgardians.

Alicia wore the armor the first few times she was at Asgard. She complained a multitude of time and then completely refused to touch the metal. Alicia swore up and down that she was never going to wear armor ever again because it was uncomfortable. Even after Loki had many designs for her, she refused. Once Loki explained that armor is just part of Asgardian culture she gave lean way… but she was somehow winning the battle with less protective armor with each visit.

On days filled with pure joy like today. They caught the most attention by everyone because they were like young lovers. Loki had her by his side as he spoke with Thor, Jane, and others about matters of Asgardians. Alicia gave him a kiss on the cheek and excused herself.

Alicia walked towards the direction of the bathrooms and disappeared into the crowds. Making a huge loop around to children playing with bubbles. She wanted to have fun with them and asked for their assistance in mischief. She guided them down wind from the group she just left and told them to produce as many bubbles as they could. 

The bubbles were carried by the gentle wind and caught everyone's attention. The children squealed when they were caught and laughed as Loki chased a sprinting Alicia. Loki yelled at her for disturbing the conversation. Then caught her from behind and spun her around. 

Alicia was trying to pry his arms away from her, "Loki put me down!"

"No Love. I think I might just carry you all day."

Alicia laughed at the suggestion. "Loki! People are staring!"

"So let them," purred into her ear.

Loki carried her back to the group despite her vocal protests. Her premature laughter gave away her plans. As soon as Loki set her down she tried to get away. Loki pulled her close and held her firmly against him so she could not cause more mischief.

 Everyone knew it was all good fun and were laughing at the couple. Loki's smug look turned into a forced seriousness, which furthered Thor's laugh. Loki's voice was low and authoritative, "Now Jane was just discussing about making a new bifrost on Earth before the disruption."

Alicia pushed on his chest with a teasing huff.

Alicia admired the beautiful light elf woman that spoke up, "It would make it much easier for us and other realms to keep in contact. Traveling from Alfheim is very long and dangerous." Her light-hearted facial expressions turned hard as she was in thought. Her very tan skin and long lighter hair color glowing in the sunlight. 

She and her companions looked heavenly. Her once bright eyes were clouded with thoughts that Alicia felt were dark in nature.

Thor crossed his arms and looked down in thought. "We will need similar materials as the one we had in Asgard. We would also need to convince the people of Earth to let such a powerful machine be built. SHEILD would be difficult since it would open more travel to Midgard."

"In order for us to start, all travelers to Midgard should be instructed to bring supplies." Alicia watched Loki rub his lips in thought, "do we have the instructions or designs for this? It will take an immense amount of magic to get the bifrost up and running."

"There is knowledge on the subject but it is kept among the older architects and sorcerers." Thor spoke again, "I have discussed with them and naturally they are weary to share the information with non-Asgardians." Thor made a displeased sound, "should the bifrost fail it would cause mass damage damage to Earth."

Alicia had a quick idea and spoke fast to keep the vaguely preplanned speech from fleeing her mind, "Could it be placed in space? Travel could be restricted to Earth because transportation would be needed to even reach the planet. I imagine placed further away the catastrophic damage would be less than if placed on the actual planet." She felt Loki rub her side with his thumb as praise.

Jane was filled with excitement. "She could be onto something. The materials would not take up space on Earth and would already be in the location for easier placement. We would need to figure out the perfect spot to minimize potential damage. We could make simulations to get a better idea."

"We still need to discuss the idea with Midgard to maintain the peace we have." Loki looked confident but Alicia saw his forced worry.

Alicia spoke up, "Given the fact that travel is still going to happen without the bifrost, that could be the best leverage we have. As well as it would keep the peace between all other world's. Thus resulting in more treaties and less war."

One of the Asgardian advisors laughed with amusement, "these two have switched mindsets since they got together."

Alicia smiled at Loki, "I think we bring out all aspects and compliment each other."

The other advisor that was significantly older spoke up with pure joy, "It's as if Loki is a millennium younger."

A heartbeat.

Loki did not want to be younger.

Alicia poked his side with a gleam in her eye. "He brings out my younger self too."

Thor smiled but he sighed heavily.

Valkyrie spoke up, "We will prepare a speech for a live broadcast after running through simulations, list of supplies, and talking with the elders."

"For now let everyone rest. It was a long day and we all have an abundance of things to think about. We will be in touch." The light elves left without another word.

"Ladies how about you go ahead of us. I would like to speak to Loki."

Loki rose an eyebrow at Thor.

"Do not fret brother we will be close behind them."

Loki watched as the elders walked away and then Alicia go with Valkyrie and Jane in another direction. Alicia and Jane talked excitedly about something and Alicia gestured widely around her. The shoulderless cape that started at the intricate gold metal around her shoulders as well as around her upper back. The metal was connected by a lace that was woven criss cross across her collar bones. Down and around her shoulders hung chains. The cape connected a small amount in front to the armpit and as well as the place between her shoulder blades, of course to the metal shoulder protection. The pieces were connected by golden metal bracelets. Anytime she moved her arms the sheer fabric moved with her. 

The dress she had on was strapless and brought the attention to the bare spots of chest, shoulders, and shoulder blades not hidden by the poor excuse of protection. Of course she refused to wear armor so Loki had the designers come up with intricate designs of metal. Even if it was not really going to help in defense in anyway. Metal was common in Asgard. 

Alicia's dress flowed with the wind as well. The silk dress had a variation of green shades but stayed close to his emerald color. There was a black sash blowing to the side and Loki remembered it hanging loosely around her hips, capturing the lower half of her body due to the vertical ripple of dark and lighter greens of the dress.

The sun broke through the clouds and everything glowed. Her skin. Hair. The metal caught in the more pronounced areas. From his spot behind her the dress was even able to catch some light through the sheer black cape. Loki wished he could be in front of her as she walked, see that smile playing on her face as she talked to Jane and her eyes lit up as bright as the sun.

"You really love her don't you?"

Loki's face turned but his eyes stayed on her till they no longer could. "You have heard me tell her that many times."

"I think you should officially court her. Ask her."

"Thor. It is only a mere two months before our year anniversary. Midgardians do not get engaged in a short amount of time."

"Well… some do after a few hours."

Loki scoffed as Thor started to walk to follow the women, "and the sooner they are engaged the less success the marriage has." Loki looked at Thor, "and what about you? When is your ceremony?"

Thor's smile was nervous, "I was actually planning to ask her during dinner."

"You two get along well enough... I suppose if things don't go well I could veil you in smoke, if that would help."

"Loki.."

He snickered at Thor's nerves. "I jest. Really brother you two do well together. Asgardians will thrive with her by your side at the throne."

"What? No plans to rule yourself?"

Loki faltered in step as Thor pushed him. "I wouldn't mind but Alicia wants a simple life as possible."

"I heard her say she sees you as Loki. No titles. Although. People say she lies, she wants your wealth and the attention the comes with royalty." 

Loki could not help but laugh. "She refuses to call me anything besides my name, gets into a big fuss when I gift her things. As you have seen she hates the media attention and waves the reporters away." Loki shook his head, "gossip is very terrible on Midgard. Not even based on facts and spreads as quick as Hel's fire on dried grass."

Thor chuckled quietly, "you are right about something, brother."

Loki rolled his eyes, "you act as though I'm not capable of coming up with well thought out plans-."

"Tricks."

Loki wanted to hit that smug look off of his brother's face. Then smirked, "Must I get my Lady to remind you it takes a sharp mind and skill to use those tricks?"

It was as if Loki was seeing Thor going through all of the times Alicia stabbed him with her wit. "She is a very fierce one.. I can only imagine how our parents would have liked her."

"Odin would lock her away." Loki felt his nails digging into his fist and wanted Alicia's gentle touch with a face full of calm affection.

"Mother would love her. I'm sure. You were her favorite." Thor continued after Loki gave Thor a look of disbelief, "it showed in the way she would try to get you out of trouble you caused." Thor clapped Loki's shoulder, "Both mother and father would approve of who you are now, loving her in an extension of you."

Loki watched his love as she was approached by a group of young children and their parents. Alicia got down to hug each one of them. The children took turns hugging the three women walking together. Loki stood behind her, "love.. did you get another dress dirty?"

Alicia turned to face him with a toddler in her grasp, "oh Loki. It will wash out." She was smiling widely until the little one pulled her hair. She muttered an ow and Loki laughed but moved to untangle the little fingers. "She has a strong grip" Alicia's laughter turned into more quick mutterings of pain as the other hand held more hair.

"I am so sorry! She really loves to hold things" the mother scrambled to help Loki with the little girls hands. Once Loki got her fingers untangled the little hand curled around his finger and she babbled at him. Alicia held the other hand and smiled at Loki. 

The mother spoke quietly, "She likes both of you. Especially you Prince Loki."

Alicia grinned, "she has good taste."

Alicia shivered as a vision was about to come true. Loki's worried eyes were on her when they made eye contact. Alicia heard a sound she dreaded. An object whistling, moving through the air so fast due to the thrusters attached. 

5:32 am

I need to reflect. I’m sorry followers but this is gonna be a long one.

Love makes you do crazy things. If there was something I could do to get you back right now I would do it in a heartbeat. I tried everything I could until the end and beyond rationale and that’s enough for me to be at peace with myself.

Logically I know that I have to give myself some credit. I’m not actually the bad guy that you made me out to be, because I helped you as much as you helped me. I helped you see the world in a positive light. You were so pessimistic when I met you, and now you’ve become optimistic. You used to be afraid of the future and now you’re embracing it. You were so hesitant with life’s uncertainties and now you dance around the shards of glass that life throws at you. I remember you used to say “no” to a lot of things, but now you say “yes” more and look where it took you. It took you to amazing places and all you had to do was say one little word. I pulled you out of your comfort zone to experience life and be more adventurous. When I met you, you didn’t know what to do with your career and I helped you decide on one. I helped you get into professional school and I spent so many hours doing MMI questions with you for your interview. And on the days where you felt bad about school, I was your cuddle fortress that you could rely on. My arms were ready to hug you and wrap you in my embrace whenever you needed it. I brought you food when you needed it, heck sometimes I surprised you with your favorite meals when I came to your house. And on days where we planned to binge our favourite netflix shows, I made sure we had our favourite snacks and candies within an arms reach. And when I know you’d have a bad day at work dealing with customers, I’d randomly drop by your work and surprise you with your favourite drink from Booster Juice. You always loved food and that was our thing. I remember introducing you to the gym to help counteract all the cute dates I’ve been taking you on. Haha, we were amazing. I was there for you even during the scariest moments of your life. When your grandparents passed away I was there for you in every shape and form. When your heart started to give you problems, I drove you to the hospital and to see a specialist and waited hours with you. My shoulder was there for you to lean on and my ears were there to listen to anything you had on your mind - both good and bad. I let you yell at me and take your frustrations out on me because I thought you were worth it. When school gave you hell I gave you motivational speeches to help push you through it, even though I sucked at giving those speeches. My favourite days were when I got to cuddle and play with your hair until you fell asleep, especially after a long day. The way your bare legs wrapped around mine like we were meant to be. My arms around you until you felt safe and secure. I was there to wipe every tear off your cheek, I was your rock. I kissed your forehead until your heart fluttered. I gave you so many cheek kisses until your cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing so much. We were in our own little bubble, and away from the chaos of the world.

After our breakup, you always said it was one-sided, that it was only you putting in the effort. I can confidently say that you’re wrong. I put in just as much effort as you did and I loved you with every bone in my fucking body.

I don’t know if the universe will bring us together again, maybe I want it to. I believe there’s a reason why we had such a deep connection with each other. That’s the type of shit only soulmates have. We were good for each other, we had everything. I was so stupid to think that we were just waiting for each other, waiting for the right time to get back together. We could’ve moved in together and we could’ve had everything. I really wanted to work things out with you today. I imagined a happy marriage with you - a house, kids, a dog, and a fucking garden. I was ready to build with you again. To have a solid foundation and grow roots that were impenetrable. I wanted to travel the world with you and make memories so that when we grow old together, we’d have so much to look back on.

You started to see our dates as just “dinners” and it fucking hurt me when you said that to my face. I took the time out of my busy schedule to see you. Those weren’t just dinners to me, it was time I dedicated to see the love of my life. You stopped listening to me when I tried to talk to you about my feelings. There were many times where you said that I don’t have feelings, that they don’t exist. That I’m just an Aries boy who’s just out to get you. I only wanted your love and support and when I told you about the things I was going through, and when I did you kept insisting that we weren’t on the same page anymore. We were on the same team for fuck sakes, I just needed to vent and for you to listen to me. I wanted you to help me through the process just like I did with you. When I didn’t have the time to deal with my own problems, it was sooo fucking hard to continue helping you with yours. These problems used to be ours, but they became individual and that’s when things started to fail. I started to feel exhausted and absolutely drained. I started asking for space because I craved it, I needed to heal because you kept drinking from my cup. Whenever I asked for space you didn’t give it to me in the way I needed it. You disrespected my space and privacy, even drove to my house when I told you not to. I needed time to heal, time to calm down, reflect, and think about things. You couldn’t even give me a night to myself. Whenever I had a “night” to myself, it started at 3am because we were fighting. There were so many days where I was at school and felt like an absolute zombie because of how little sleep I had. You took me for granted and you walked all over me.

I wasn’t the perfect boyfriend either. There were many nights where you needed me, you’d call and text me, and I would ignore you. I wouldn’t answer you because I was so fed up with you. I wonder why I developed that habit? If you put the time into listening to me you would’ve cared for me in the way I needed you to. I craved so badly for you to understand me but you chose not to. We would’ve been so much better if you just listened. And it would’ve been better if I listened to you too.

When professional school started I had to give more attention to studying, which meant less time for you. You wanted more time, and with school and everything going on in my life - I couldn’t balance it and I collapsed. You complained when you should’ve supported me through it. Part of me thinks that if it wasn’t for school, we wouldn’t be in the position that we’re in right now. I like to think that if we lived together, we would’ve easily got through it.

Things became a battle of fulfilling each other’s needs. We became toxic for each other. At that point, I didn’t care about who won the argument or fight. I ended up just letting you win and giving up my own needs because I know I’d be happy at the end of the day if I was able to cuddle with you. Giving up my needs made me feel miserable all the time but I know it would be worth it if I was able to spoon you under the blankets. I gave you everything I could offer and it wasn’t enough for you. I was never enough for you. 

You keep saying that I’ll never change. But I changed for you. I changed so much about myself during our 5-year relationship so you could be happy... So we could be happy. When we broke up, I forced myself to change again and I bettered myself. I was whole on my own, and when you asked to meet me 3 weeks ago I saw that you weren’t. Leading up to our meetup, you texted me saying that I suck and that you’re getting triggered. I was so fucking ready to get back together with you when I saw you that day, but your actions leading to the meet up told me otherwise. When I saw you that day I still thought you were the most beautiful person on this planet. I wanted to get back together with you so badly but I didn’t want us to repeat that fucking cycle. You were still damaged and I don’t blame you because I put you through a lot. I couldn’t get back together with someone just so they could reap the benefits. You needed to be whole on your own too. I didn’t want you to drink out of my cup again, especially when yours wasn’t full. If we were going to get back together we had to do it right. I was waiting for you.

Today was a setback for me. It sucks that I had to test the waters to see that we were meant to be together. The raw and instant connection with you, I know I won’t find in anyone else - especially because you were my first love. Sometimes I wish you weren’t my first girlfriend, because I would’ve realized these things sooner and I would have been more mature about how our relationship was progressing. You taught me a lot about relationships and love, and I can’t thank you enough for that. I learned so much from the mistakes I made with you, and I’m really sorry that I hurt you in the process. As fucked up as it sounds, I wish I made these mistakes with someone else because right now I feel like you’re the one that got away.

Reconnecting with you today reminded me that I loved you and that’s why I let you go. I wanted what’s best for you and I was right about not being good for you at the time. And you weren’t good for me at the time either. Am I good for you now? Probably. Being six months apart from you gave me a lot of time to process life and mature. But it’s too late for me now since you found someone new. I was lucky to have 5 years with you, and I’m so thankful for all the memories we made and shared together. I’m thankful for all the life lessons you taught me.

Despite today’s setback, I know that I’ll be back on my own two feet in a couple days. I had 6 months to learn and grow into a better person, and it’s easy to get back where you left off. I know it’s going to take time, but I’m ready to be happy again. And I know you’d be proud of me for saying that. I always wanted your best interest and you always wanted mine. At the end of the day, I just wanted you to be happy and it’s nice to see that you’re doing well without me now.

I still want you back. But like I said, I tried everything beyond rationale and with that I know I can move on. For some reason knowing that I did every possible thing to try and get you back gives me peace within myself.

I don’t know if we’ll end up together again in the future. Part of me hopes that we do because I miss you. But I also don’t know if I’ll end up with someone else in the future. However, whoever I’m with, I know that the next time around will be different because of what I know now and what I’ve learned.

Reflecting like this really helped me. It made me clearly see both the good times and the bad. It also made me realize that I wasn't as bad as you made me out to be. I’m a good person and anyone would be lucky to have me. I am whole on my own, and I have my life together. It also reminded me that you are an awesome person and I know you’ll do big things in life. Thanks again for everything. You were my best friend, I miss you, and it’s okay for me to feel that way.

Aonu

Forty-eight Forty-seven Forty-six I definitely caught him off guard, but now he’s starting to struggle. Reflexes and quick thinking are something you either have or you don’t. You can teach skills but you can’t teach instincts. Up until this moment I would’ve sworn I didn’t have them. But now when I actually need them, here we are. I guess I’ve never been put to the test like this before. It’s the first time in my life that so much depends on me, so in the moment I acted without thinking. My reaction was quick, but was it the right reaction? I don’t know what came over me. If I can hold him I should be able to keep him down here until he passes out. I figure I can hold my breath for at least a couple of minutes, and we’ve been down here for almost a minute now. I didn’t think to start counting right away, though, and this isn’t exactly water we’re in. I have no idea what happens when someone inhales blue snow. I hope I don’t have to find out the hard way. Forty-five Forty-four Forty-three Blue snow isn’t really snow. It isn’t really blue either. It’s sort of a pale cyan color that becomes translucent when the light hits it right. And its structure is more like a bunch of semi-solid glass spheres all about the size of your fist. It’s like water, but somewhere between liquid and solid state. It’s like bubbles filled with water on the inside and air on the outside, not the other way around. Its true name is Qae, and it’s the sacred element of my people, the Aonu. We’re the only ones who call it blue snow, and we’re named for it. In the ancient language “Ao-Nu” meant “children of elemental water.” Each race has it’s own name for elements based on how it affects them. We call it blue snow because when it touches us our skin turns the same turquoise color, and it feels cool on our skin. That’s not all it does, though. It makes us more alert, quicker and stronger when we’re exposed to it. It helps us hold our breath longer, too, which I guess is why we’ve always been much more amphibious than the other races. The more blue snow we’re exposed to, the quicker our pulses and the faster our metabolisms go. The other races seem to have the opposite reaction. Touching it only creates a  mild effect - consuming it multiplies the reaction. If you’re not careful you can overdose and your heart can give out. No one I know has ever been exposed to a huge amount of blue snow, though. They say it would make you chronicly sick and eventually you’d lose your mind. Half an hour exposed to blue snow is  about like 5 shots of espresso, and a couple shots of liquor. An hour or so could make your heart beat so fast you’d pass out, or even worse. That’s the other reason I’m counting. We were already wading in the blue snow for about 20 minutes before we heard the Aiju. Forty-two Forty-one Forty The Matriarchs tell stories about ancient zerkers who would expose themselves to Qae before battle. It would make them fierce and almost invulnerable. Some say the zerkers would eat it to metamorphose into hybrid creatures. That seems outlandish, but blue snow is definitely a mysterious and magical substance. Our fishers use tiny amounts to help them stay underwater when hunting. Blue snow in small, controlled doses also helps control the symptoms of a lot of chronic diseases. Healers use it to soothe pain, slow infections, and help patients with vision and hearing problems. It won’t completely restore someone’s sight, but it definitely helped me. When I was young I wasn’t able to see well enough to read or recognize faces from a distance. But now my vision is almost normal. We also use Qae to keep our food cool so it doesn’t spoil, and purify the salt water so we can drink it. Some of our tinkers have been figuring out how to harness its power to make motors and engines and things. Blue snow has other mystical uses that most of us don’t know anything about. And the Matriarchs sometimes drop hints that the ancient Aonu used Qae for a lot more than we do now. Thirty-nine Thirty-eight Thirty-seven This Aiju kid is struggling hard now, but I definitely have the size advantage on him. I was a late bloomer. I went from a scrawny little kid to a broad-shouldered, barrel-chested adult. I wasn’t able to join the military because of my poor vision. It’s a good thing too, because I was so week and skinny I never would’ve survived initiation. My muscles didn’t kick in until several years later. Now I’m almost twice as heavy as I was then. Not actually fat, but heavier than average. And I’m thankful for the extra bulk right now because it’s definitely helping me keep us under. He’s strong, but I’m a lot bigger than him. Why are you here, young Aiju? The Qae mountain has been ours for centuries, and must be very far from your borough. Zaiku must be at least 4 days journey west, and I know that’s the closest Aiju borough to here. I once hiked up Zameru peak, the highest point in the archipelago, to watch the moonrise. I could see light from Zaiku off in the western distance, but I’ve never been there. If the Aiju are harvesting here they must be desperate for pure elements. Could they have depleted their own supplies of elemental Jyo?. When pure Jyo is like a semi-liquid form of light. It flows from streams that come up from beneath the ground. The Aiju have built most of their boroughs nearby a major Jyo stream. They collect it and use it much like we use Qae, and it affects them in similar ways. I’ve heard that the Aiju call it “Pink Juice.” Thirty-six Thirty-five Thirty-four I’ve never even seen anyone else at the Qae mountain before. It’s only been my family members and me before. Each of the 8 islands has their own day to harvest the blue snow. Today is the first day of Neptember, so there shouldn’t be any other Aonu harvesting. Our family and the other three harvesting families on our island keep a strict schedule. No other Aq’omi should be here. When we got to the mountain today my niece, Naia, wanted to climb up to see if she could see Aq’oma from the top. I told her she could try, but not to climb too high. The Qae is much less stable up near the top, and I didn’t want her to start some kind of avalanche. But I figured it couldn’t hurt, since it’s her first time. and we were moving much faster today than usual. Naia walks much faster than her grandma. She got about 10 fathoms up when she said she thought she heard voices. I started climbing up to tell her she was crazy and she needed to come help us harvest instead of making up stories. But then sure enough I thought I heard them too. At first I thought it was some kind of echo, but then I heard a few words in a language that was definitely not Aoni. In a whisper I told Naia to slide back down near her mother and hide in the blue snow. The voices coming from the other side must be from another race, or from one of the nomadic tribes. Either one is a dangerous situation. Thirty-three Thirty-two Thirty-one In the tetraverse the four core elements make up everything. The first element “Xuu” is the densest and most solid. It’s the primary element in soil, rocks, minerals, metals, and our flesh. It symbolizes strength, defense, construction, and growth. The second element “Qae” is fluid. It’s the primary element in water, blood, and other liquids. It symbolizes speed, communication, health, transition, and adaptation. The third element “Zai” is gaseous. It’s the primary element in the sky, space, and in our breath. It symbolizes speech, music, wisdom, vitality, sanctity, and leadership. The fourth element “Jyo” is the most plasmic and energetic. It’s the primary element in light, heat, and fire. It fuels our hearts and symbolizes power and war, love and violence. These four elements compose all things in various proportions. Some things like clouds, lava, mud, and lightning are composed of only two or three elements.  Boulders, rivers, wind, sunlight, and a few other things are primarily one element. But the four elements are rare to find in their pure forms and are treasured. Each element is sacred to one of our races and we have fought many wars to protect our rights to their pure elemental forms. Thirty Twenty-nine Twenty-eight It takes three of us to carry enough Qae back to the island each week. We fill up our packs with five and half gallons each, to replace the octave our island uses up every eight days. It’s about an hour hike, a two hour paddle, and another hour hike up to the mountain. Getting here and back usually takes all day. Aq’oma, our island, has a small storage in case of emergencies. But we depend on the weekly journeys to the Qae mountain to keep our island healthy and thriving. My sister, my niece and I are on harvest duty today. Every 16 weeks it’s my family’s turn. Naela and I have been harvesting for our family since we became adolescents, but this is Naia’s first time. When Naia finished the academy last month she became one of our family’s three harvesters. Ceru, my mother, will now get to spend more time teaching. It was a relief to Naela and I, because Ceru was trying to do too many things at her age. I’m glad she'll get to focus on the difficult task of teaching our culture and history to the kids back on Aq’oma. Her specialty is language and traditions. Other teachers focus on botany, engineering, mathematics, and philosophy. I remember my old teacher, Achelon used to bring samples of Qae and the other elements into lessons for use to see. It was too dangerous for us to touch them as kids, though. We have to gradually build up our tolerances to pure elements. And each race can only handle one element safely. We all have drastically different reactions to touching other elements in their pure forms. What will happen to this young Aiju after this much exposure to the blue snow? I hope it doesn't kill him. I only want him to pass out so I can protect our Qae. Twenty-seven Twenty-six Twenty-five This is only the second Aiju I’ve ever seen. When I was a kid there was a meeting of the four races to reconcile our differences and promote peace. Each race elected a representative to negotiate trade, territories, and diplomacy in the Tetrarchy . The Tetrarchy granted exclusive rights to harvest pure elements to each of the specific races. Only Aonu can harvest Qae. Only the Oq’uta can mine for Xuu – elemental glow crystals. Only the Qexaal can gather Zai, element harmonic wind. And only the Aiju can collect Jyo. As a show of solidarity and peace, the four representatives went on a global procession after the Tetrarchal Convergence. My family went to the festival when they visited our island.  I remember seeing Aonu Senator Qamaera, her husband Jaenbu, and a girl about my age up on the platform. They were next to a strange rose-skinned man that my mother told me later was Senator Ryuji. His wife and family weren’t part of the visiting party. No other Aiju have ever visited the archipelago since then, and the Aonu and Aiju have preseserved a détente. It’s not exactly peace, but we stay out of each other’s way. Aonu visit Oq’uta and Qexaal territory all the time. I’ve been to Ptaeryx, Qyntaan, and Ytza many times to trade for our Qae for their Zai. I often go to Kiibo, Mawenzi, and Zira to trade for their Xuu. Oq’uta and Qexaal merchants even live on our Aonu islands and in their Aiju boroughs. But no Aonu I know has ever visited a Aiju borough or had direct contact with one before. Trade and business between Aonu and Aiju is always done through a third party in a neutral district. As far as I know this young Aiju is the first one to set foot on the Archipelago in at least a generation. But if he’s here, does that mean there could be others with him? How would an Aiju even get here by himself? Twenty-four Twenty-three Twenty-two We Aonu from Aq’oma have always practiced, safe, sustainable harvesting. After filling our packs we measure the size of the Qae mountain to make sure it hasn’t gotten any smaller. This is Naia’s first time so she’s supposed to do the calculations. I’ve been measuring the blue snow with the octant and qubit for decades. Naela doesn’t like doing it. She never minded the hiking, paddling and harvesting, but she was never interested in math. Math comes easy to me so I’ve always done the calculations when it was her turn. We always get the same answer for the volume of the Qae mountain, within standard deviation. I don’t know how the mountain replenishes itself, but somehow it makes about 16 gallons more each week. If we were to harvest more, it wouldn’t make quite as much, and the next week the mountain would be smaller. Forty years ago my grandfather figured out that the blue snow pile had been getting smaller. Rebels from Ma’ano, the island to the east of ours were harvesting extra blue snow in an attempt to overtake Hae’ea, another Aonu island. After that the Matriarchs started regulating the days each island can harvest, and how much they can take. Since then none of the Aonu islands have fought for dominance, and the Qae mountain has always stayed the same. I wonder what kind of regulations the Aiju have about collecting their sacred element, Jyo? If they’re desperate enough to invade our mountain there must be something wrong with their Jyo streams. Twenty-one Twenty Nineteen The Aiju and Aonu have a long, very complicated, very contentious history. The four races are very different, but Aiju and Aonu are complete opposites in many ways. Aiju have rosey pink skin with magenta eyes and orange hair. They never grow beards and the women never cut their hair. Aonu have skin the color of seafoam and jade green eyes. Our hair is olive, but most men shave their heads and grow long sea-green beards instead. Aiju prefer to live in large boroughs and rarely travel. We Aonu go all over the archipelago and travel to other places often - except to Aiju boroughs. Aiju men are aggressive, loud and belligerent. They always try to have the last word and attempt to sound like experts in whatever they talk about. They’re very short-tempered, especially when someone implies that they are wrong. The Aiju women never speak to anyone but their fathers, husbands, and female relatives. Aonu men and women see each other as equals, but the women take more of the leadership roles. Aonu women are more dominant than Aonu men, and we men honor and cherish our women. All Aonu understand the importance of equality and treating everyone with respect. Aiju believe in strict monogamy and mate for life. Most Aiju have arranged marriages via a contract between the two fathers. Infidelity is punishable by sterilization or banishment. Our Aonu society is structured quite differently. because we live in large families with many partners. Aonu women often have several male consorts and the men usually help raise the children too. Most Aonu nuclear families are part of large clans under a consortium of Matriarchs. My mother’s mother is a member of the Matriarchal Consortium for Aq’oma, just like her mother before her. Eighteen Seventeen Sixteen I am named after of my mother’s father, and like him I am a storyteller. I don’t know much about my father’s family, so I am a lot closer to the grandparents and cousins on my mother’s side. Mindaro, the man who helped raise me, is my father, but not in the way most Aonu think of fathers. Like all Aonu I actually have two fathers. Aonu females develop eggs in their wombs without any genetic material, so we mate in trios. Aonu males have one of two different genes necessary to fertilize eggs and create children in the female’s womb. To get pregnant an Aonu woman has to mate with one of each kind of male within about four days or the egg doesn’t fertilize. Aonu men are either yin or yang depending on what kind of genes they have. Yin Aonu men are more sensitive, compassionate, quiet, intelligent, and creative than others. Other Yang Aonu men are more aggressive, athletic, independent and louder than others. Some folks refer to the Aonu trio as Male, Female, and Threemale, since the yin male is the third most important. Most Aonu females are dominant, but let the yang males feel like they’re actually in charge. Yang males are usually referred to as “father” because they dominate the less-assertive yin males. That’s why Aonu yin fathers are often called “uncle” - their status is less important than a father. My sister and I call Mindaro “father." For many years we’d assumed he was our yang father and that our uncle Nyanza was my yin father. As I grew up, though, we learned that Uncle Nyanza was actually my mother’s brother and Mindaro was my yin father. A few years ago I figured out that my yang father, Khombu, left my mother, the night my sister and I were conceived. He never came back and Mindaro had to help our mother raise us. He struggled in the father role without the help of assertive yang genes, and got very depressed. Eventually he felt he’d failed us all and withdrew from our family socially. He still lives in the house with my mother, but they rarely speak except when my mother sends him to do errands. I’ve never met Khombu. I’ve always longed to have a yang father to teach me how to be more masculine and assertive. I have no idea where it came from today when I dove into the blue snow and grabbed this Aiju. Fifteen Fourteen Thirteen I can feel the young Aiju’s pulse slowing down. He’s either getting weaker or I’m getting stronger. Probably both. I hope he’ll stop struggling and pass out before I need to come up to breathe. Not that I can’t keep holding my breath. Somehow it’s actually getting easier the longer I’ve been down here in the blue snow. I’m worried I'll go crazy, though, or my heart might burst if I’m down here too long.  What happens when you’re submerged in blue snow for 10 minutes? What am I going to do with this Aiju once he passes out? Will he pass out? I hope I’m not killing him. I’m not a murderer. I’m  defending my home, my family, and my culture, right? Aonu learn from an early age about defending our way of life, especially from Aiju. Maybe that’s what kick-started my attack earlier. But I have no idea what I’m doing, though, or if it’s the right thing. I know this Aiju is not supposed to be here, and I have to do something about it. We can’t let the Aiju steal our blue snow, but is that really what he was doing? I hope this only knocks him out and I can figure out what to do next. I doubt he was here all alone, though. There’s no way he wandered here all by himself, and he was talking to someone else earlier. The other Aiju have probably noticed that he disappeared and are searching for him right now. An Aonu his age would never make a trip like this alone, so I can’t imagine why an Aiju kid would be here with no one else around. Twelve Eleven Ten At the start of adolescence each Aonu takes a small sample of blue snow and swims to the Kermode atoll for a vision quest. We spend the night alone with our thoughts and listen to what the ocean has to tell us. We swim back in the morning and choose our new names and societal roles. That was when I took the name Aavri after my mother’s father. Mindaro wanted me take the name of his fathers, Otari or Zalo, both of whom were warriors. My father always wanted to be a warrior, but was too meek. He also had to spend a lot more time working after Khombu left. I never wanted to be a warrior. I’m not much of a fighter, and I’ve always been much more pacifistic. I’m more creative and communicative than athletic and aggressive. I’m pretty sure I’m threemale – a yin male. I’ve never gotten tested. And none of my past partners have ever gotten pregnant, so I can’t compare myself to their other partners. But I am definitely more on the sensitive side. Being threemale is tough, especially without a strong father figure to raise you. It seems like women tend to be more attracted to males who are assertive and athletic. I’m pretty strong, but awkward and uncoordinated. Some  yang male-female couples invite a yin male to mate with them for reproductive purposes. But that has always felt like a shallow reason for an affectionate relationship. Nonetheless I keep ending up as the third wheel in most of my relationships. I make closer friendships with women because we’re both communicative and compassionate. Yang male friendships feel shallow to me so I don’t have many. But I’ve made deeper friendships with a couple other yin male friends who are always single like me. None of us have much luck attracting women. We tend to be most attracted to assertive, dominant women who aren’t afraid to speak their minds. Unfortunately most of those women are attracted to yang males, or to each other. We yin males are much more sensitive, and it often takes me months to recover after a heartbreak. As I’ve gotten older I’ve decided to put less energy and emphasis into sexual relationships. I'm tired of being hurt and disappointed. There's not much chance I'll ever have children at this point, but I’m already a real uncle to Naia. If I were to have my own biological children they would only call me uncle anyway. I hope Naia and Naela are ok over on the other side of the mountain. Nine Eight Seven The Aiju kid has stopped struggling, but he’s still breathing. I hear something strange, though. There's a distant sound that feels like it’s coming from inside my own head. I’ve been concentrating so hard on holding my breath and staying under that I didn’t notice it at first. It’s like a rhythmic wave and a whisper at the same time, but I can’t understand it. There are no words, but the voice feels familiar somehow. Now that I’m paying attention, I can hear other noises outside my head but nearby, like ripples in the river. I hear movement to my left. Yes, it’s definitely coming from that direction. There are long shadows moving around a little ways away. The blue snow is somehow translucent even though we’re on the opposite side from the sun.  And I can see now that those are definitely legs wading through the blue snow towards me. But not moving directly at me, so I don’t think they know we’re here yet. That other sound in my head is getting louder, though, and more familiar. Not just familiar… familial. Almost like when my sister and I were in the womb together - no words, only sounds and feelings. Naela must be trying to tell me something. If they’ve been hiding like I told them to, she and Naia are also submerged in the blue snow still. All our senses must be heightened now, and it’s like she’s using some kind of mental sonar to communicate. There’s no time to figure it out now, though, because I have to do something about this Aiju before the other two find me. Six­ Five Four

Crash Course in Dialogue, Part I

Writers tend to stress a character’s actions as the most important way to show who they are, but creating effective, interesting dialogue is just as important to a great story. Good dialogue can illustrate interpersonal relationships, reveal fears characters don’t even know they have, show development, and so much more. At the same time—and maybe more importantly—bad dialogue sticks out like a sore thumb, making readers uncomfortable and unwilling to get invested in your narrative. Your prose might be amazing, but if your characters can’t communicate, it’s going to put people off.

But never fear! Here are a few handy tricks to writing amazing dialogue that will get your characters saying what they mean or misdirecting like a pro, all while drawing your reader successfully into the story.

Creating Unique Voices

When you start writing dialogue, one of the most important things to keep in mind is that your characters should all sound different from one another. Just based on their words alone, a reader should be able to tell whether your character’s personality is bubbly or gloomy, if they feel comfortable with the people around them, if they’re in pain, what kind of education they have, and so much more. You want these factors to be unique for each character, even if they were raised together or come from a similar background.

A great test is to write down only the spoken part of your dialogue, without any speech tags (he said/she said, etc.). Does each character sound distinct? Can you tell whose lines are whose just based on what they say, without the surrounding context clues?

If not, try some of the techniques below. There are so many ways to say the same thing differently—and reveal your characters’ history, personality, and quirks at the same time!

Techniques

Using lots of big words like abysmal, paramount, satiate, ubiquitous, etc.

This can make a character sound more educated, imply a wealthier upbringing, or show the care he puts into communicating. Or, it can make him sound pretentious, and become a trait that annoys your other characters. Just be careful your character doesn’t come off like a weirdo carrying around a thesaurus in their pocket (unless that’s what you’re going for, of course!)

Character 1: His rant was just the shameful rambling of a crazy old man. Character 2: The display was simply the ignominious drivel of a deranged geriatric man.

Using clipped speech—only a few words at a time, monosyllabic answers

Quiet characters, characters who don’t like their companions, characters who are in pain, and characters with something to hide might not want to have long conversations where they bare their soul to others.

Character 1: I really don’t think so. I’m sure I’d remember an intense reaction like that. Character 2: No.

Using terms of endearment or pet names—babe, sweetheart, bro, dude, pal

Depending on how these are used, your character can come across as warm and fuzzy, sarcastic, flirty, or evil and taunting.

Bonus: if your character is angry or distracted, they can leave off the pet names they usually call their friends. This is a good way to reveal to a reader—and other characters—that something fishy is up.

Character 1: Can you toss me that pencil? Character 2: Hey babe, be a sweetie and toss me that pencil? Character 3: Uh, that’s my pencil, pal. Character 4: Toss me that pencil, bro!

Speaking formally versus informally with contractions

Is your character uncomfortable around present company? Are they trying to act extremely professional to prove they’re qualified for their job, or still recovering from a strict, affectionless upbringing? If so, making their speech more formal can help convey what’s going on.

Character 1: Admittedly, I have been wondering much the same thing. I will look into it. Character 2: Yeah, I’ve been wondering that too. I’m gonna check it out.

Swearing

Depending on context, characters who curse can sound meaner, rougher, cooler, more laid-back, and even funnier than the people around them who don’t.

When using curse words, be aware of your audience. If you’re writing for kids or younger teens, you may get some pushback.

Remember that these words are sometimes at their most powerful when they’re not overused. When your sweet character finally snaps and mutters something really strong under her breath, you’ll know she’s at the end of her rope.

Think of Simon finally confronting Martin in the movie Love, Simon—if Leah (who swears all the time in the book’s sequel) told Martin to f*ck off, it wouldn’t have anywhere near the same impact.

And yet, in The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater, Ronan’s glee at swearing is one of the things that sets him apart from the more polite Gansey and Adam.

Try this:

Sit in a public place where people talk—a coffee shop, a food court at the mall, a break at school—and listen to a conversation. Write down what you hear—every little um or ah, pronunciations, pauses, stutters, repetitions. How do words, fillers, and phrases shape the distinct voices of the people you’re listening to?

Using Accents and Dialects

Another great way to make characters sound different is to give them accents or let them speak in dialects. If your character is from the South, he’d have a Southern drawl; if she’s from the India, she’s not going to sound like your classmates from Connecticut. But how can you capture a voice like that without making your writing sloppy or distracting (or exaggerating it into an offensive caricature)? Passages like the following, from Huckleberry Finn, certainly take a lot of concentration to read:

“Oh, Huck, I bust out a-cryin’ en grab her up in my arms, en say, ‘Oh, de po’ little thing! De Lord God Amighty fogive po’ ole Jim, kaze he never gwyne to fogive hisself as long’s he live!’ Oh, she was plumb deef en dumb, Huck, plumb deef en dumb—en I’d ben atreat’n her so!”

A general rule, using features other than phonetic spelling to show how characters speak differently can communicate the same information in a less distracting way:

Diction/word choice: Taylor from New York eats fries for lunch and chips as a snack, but Henry from London eats chips for lunch and crisps from the vending machine during his break at work.

Syntax/word order: Someone whose native language is English will likely say “the brown shoes” or “the white fence,” but if your heroine was born in France and learned English not long ago, she might say “I was wearing my shoes which are brown” or “the fence that is white stands behind the house”

Idioms: Different places have different expressions that mean more than what they look like. While you’d say you’re “buttering someone up,” someone who speaks Spanish might say they’re “stroking his beard.” Research idioms that would be a natural part of your character’s speech—or, make up your own!

Some phonetic spellings and slang, every once in a while, do a great job of signaling a continuing accent: s’pose, ain’t, ya, dahlin’. But if what you’ve written takes any amount of real concentration to decode, it’s going to be annoying, not helpful or cool. In other words, if your main character has a lisp, tharting every thentence like thith ith going to get really fruthtrating, really fatht. An’ writin’ an o’er-exaggera’ed Cockney accen’, owr a loooong Suthen draaaawl, is sure to get on your reader’s nerves as well.

If your protagonist’s baby sister with three lines has a lisp and says, “Thamantha, read me a thtory” or her great-auntie from Georgia bemoans, “Lawdy-me, it shaw is hawt in hea today” once in 300 pages, though, you’re probably good.

If you want an example of dialects and pronunciation done really well, check out the Chaos Walking series by Patrick Ness. Protagonist Todd Hewitt grew up in a primitive settlement and can’t read—while always completely understandable, he does say “ain’t” all the time, and occasionally throws in misspellings like “creacher” and “recognishun.” The sections narrated by his friend Viola are more grammatically correct, because while Todd was doing farm work, she was attending school. And people Todd meets with even less schooling than him talk like this: “Ah kin give y’all a ride thrus. If ya want.” (But these characters don’t pop up very often, so the style doesn’t become distracting—instead, it highlights the differences between outsiders and the protagonists.)

A note of caution:

Remember that African American Vernacular English, American Sign Language, and other variations/translations of English have their own complex rules. If you aren’t familiar with a dialect you’re writing, don’t just simplify standard English, throw in an extra “be,” or take out some helping verbs. If your character uses one of these, do some extra research to make sure your dialogue is accurate.

Include the Right Kind of Content

So now you’ve decided how your character talks—but what should they say? Here are a few things to avoid: small talk, excessive info dumps, drawn-out background information, and background conversations. (Like most rules of writing, these can and should be broken if you have a good reason, but in general, they can be helpful in moving a story along and keeping it interesting.)

Instead of the characters taking up valuable space and audience attention on pleasantries, focus on the real meat of the conversation. Alfred Hitchcock once said something to the effect of, “Drama is real life with all the boring parts cut out.” Which would you want to read about? A character describing her brunch of thick, fluffy pancakes to her mother in mouth-watering detail?* Or the moment she asks her mother for $500—the third time this month—to cover her outrageous credit card debts? As the writer, you have the privilege and responsibility to pick the important moments to pass on to the reader—the ones that are important to the plot later, that develop the characters, that are memorable and exciting. Be kind to them—and yourself—by carefully judging what’s worth everyone’s time.

This then gives you an opportunity to work something else essential into your conversation—conflict. It’s very hard to make a compelling conversation where each character agrees with everything said before them. Just because “yes, and” works for improv, doesn’t mean it’s the best strategy for dialogue in fiction—instead, put your characters against each other. If they have opposing goals, or even slightly different takes on a situation, you’ll be able to flush out both viewpoints and push them to an interesting breaking point much easier than if they simply build on whatever the other says.

It can also be tempting to save long, detailed explanations for dialogue—especially when it comes to worldbuilding in sci-fi or fantasy. If you have a physics professor who’s perfected time travel or an old witch who’s worked out everything about magic, it would be easy to give them a few pages to give the specifics to your clueless protagonist. But unless you can’t get your story to work any other way, try not to do this—long descriptions tend to end up pretty boring, and hard to follow and remember. Instead, let your reader pick up fewer details at a time from different people, or see how things work for themselves. In the first Harry Potter, Hagrid doesn’t explain everything about being a wizard to Harry—readers get to experience the many magical details firsthand through Harry’s eyes in Diagon Alley, and then later at Hogwarts.

*Note: If your character is a cook and criticizes the pancakes because he could obviously do better, or if she grew up in poverty and is promising her mother she’ll move back home and take her to brunch every morning once she gets one more paycheck, this is obviously fine. So is her describing how great she thought the pancakes were if it turns out they were actually poisoned, and next thing she knows she’s waking up from a 10-year coma. And so on... Find exciting exceptions!

Try this:

Listen to a scene from your favorite movie and think about what’s included and what’s not. Do both characters greet each other and ask how the other has been, or do they jump right into the deal they need to make? Does one character agree with everything the other says, or do they disagree frequently?

Have more questions about writing dialogue? Leave us comments for Part II, coming soon!

1. “You scared I am going to out finesse you?” (Lovecraft AU)

@djinmer4  @dannybagpipesarecallingN/A: Not sure if this has to do with the ask, either way, I saw a bunch of horror stories on youtube and it leads to this idea, I love to make Lovecraft Kitty, but…what if Kitty is just a regular human for once?

Meggan takes Kitty to have her future reading by a famous seer, a Canadian woman named only Boa, who has a reputation to always be right. Kitty is sceptical but decides to go anyway, it will be a fun way to pass time. Many things were said about Boa, thanks to the internet, many say she is the scariest person you’ll ever meet as her predictions are always true.

Boa, in person, is nothing more than a gentle old lady, making Kitty remembering her own grandmother, none of them is scary at any level. Boa takes Meggan´s hand and reads her future.

“You will be married to a man you love deeply, it will be a good a good live, two kids, a nice house, the man will be sick in a few years and things will get tougher but you´ll found a way to care for them. Your love will change the lives of many people” Boa explained and when Meggan asked who the man´s name is the old lady smiles “Brian Braddock, congratulations, Gloriana. Your future will be lovely”

Meggan is overjoyed. In fact, it prompts Kitty to ask to have her own future reading, when Boa takes her hand the woman immediately takes out as it scorched the woman´s skin. That wasn´t expected.

“You…you will have his eyes, all of his eyes are under you, he knows, he always knows,  chaos and darkness will follow you as not even death dares to take you, he sees, he knows and you can´t escape him” the woman speaks in a frightened tone.

Kitty and Meggan leave with a bitter taste in their mouth. Meggan´s future is wonderful, yet, Kitty´s future is …cryptal to say the least.

“Oh, nevermind, she was just trying to scare us,” Kitty said. Meggan nods trying to agree with her thinking but Boa was never wrong before._________________________________________

Kitty is an X-men, so, of course, the woman is used to her own share of bizarre events, yet, Kitty has to admit, lately everything is way off than usual. Jubilee becomes a vampire thanks to kitty´s blood(it was black for a moment and then is normal), Beast becomes crazy over spirals almost going too far in this obsession (Kitty doubts any student will feel safer with Hank again), Wolverine becomes a literal animal…that is always looking at the shadows in fear and Jean…Kitty prefers to not think about the horrid woman, maybe it was karma finally giving the woman a payback.

Thinking about Karma, Kitty takes her cell phone and text Karma, Xian and the other New Mutants have a sort of book club where they relax and make fun of the most atrocious books ever.

The world won´t be perfect, that´s a given, prejudice lurks around in several forms, but, mutants are allowed in many places and Kitty is in a coffee shop where the staff is made by mutants(she asked them if they are being treated alright and they confirm that) and no one has any objection to the mutants working.

Kitty text Xian.

“Hey, the book club is still up? Kitty asked

"Sure, by the way, the new book we will talk is a bit different from our usual session” Xian replied with a few emojis.

“Oh, is erotic?”

“No” Xian replied and send a picture of the book provokes to Kitty jump of her chair, no one seems to care, this coffee shop has few clients today.

“Xian, why this book?” Kitty asked.

“I saw and…thought in to give to you, ” Kitty ponders in to tell the rumours of the book, yet, Xian continues “it was a gift to you”

“Thank you, Xian, but this book has  bad fame, where did you get it?”

“I don´t know, I was walking with my brother and when I realize the book was already in my plastic bag wrapped nicely to you”

One of the mutants, a green man, is pouring more coffee for a man wearing a suit that is reading the newspaper, no one is looking at Kitty….the woman can feel eyes on her.

The woman leaves the coffee shop._____________________________Yana arrives in the New Mutant´s headquarters and looks at the book, Kitty is holding the book for her own life. Karma explained once again how she got the book, it was easy to deduce that the woman was not possessed, but, persuade in a way that no one saw this before.

It was sort like Killgrave, but, it was so natural…it scares Xian as her twin brother, Tran, made a scan on her to see if she is being controlled. No, she is free. There´s no trace of manipulation left(unlike Killgrave)

“And the book?” Kitty still holding the book dearly contrasting her horror expression.

Magik look at the book and immediately avert her eyes.

“The legends don´t come close to the truth, Katya, this is not a normal book, nor a mere evil book….is much more” Magik then use a spell to violently yank the book out Kitty´s hand(it bruises her hand a little but Kitty is not caring) and put the book in a bubble as slowly darkness surround the space of that bubble.

“Katya….the book…it has eyes on you,” Magik said and Kitty remembers Boa´s words but shakes her head at this, no, Boa is just an eccentric old lady, right?

“What we do?”

“Nothing, for the love of God, no one enters in this room, nor even look at this book, I think I know what this is …but I hope I´m wrong,” Magik said and leaves the New Mutants plus Kitty with more questions.

It has eyes on you.________________________________Kitty´s dream are often too lucid, sometimes making the dreams being amusing, other times, make the dream being anything but pleasant. Tonight, the dream is odd and very lucid.

A man in a white suit is in the centre of the large table, the said table has a perfect set tea party that any little girl would love. Kitty looks at the man and somehow she feels compelled to run…but nothing happens.

“Is you, isn´t it?” Kitty asked.

The creature only smiles with sharp teeth.

“Is you?” Kitty asked again.

“Eat something, then we talk,” the creature said amusingly.

Kitty is about to refuse when she, without realizing, already give a big bite on a red apple. The woman wakes up confused and scared.____________________________________Kitty is hardly someone that likes to jog, but, after the last dream, the woman can´t stay in bed. The park is empty, actually, since when this little park was so big and dark? Is her mind playing tricks on her, she was sure the park was smaller.

Bumping in a man is never a good signal for Kitty as she was expecting the man to be furious, instead, the man with dark hair and white streaks seems to not mind.

“Is a bit too earlier to jog or maybe I´m mistaken” the man gives his name and Kitty realizes how is good to talk with someone in this big(?) park.

“I like to run” Kitty jokes as they talk idly. The man likes to feed the birds and Kitty only nods, nothing unusual for this park.

“Bad dreams?” the man asked politely.

“Odd dreams, what eat an apple could mean?”

“Acceptance, at least, that was I have been told, I could be mistaken” the man replied and Kitty nods politely, she then is about to leave when the man gives another advice “don´t stop thinking about it, if you want to know about this dream…then keep thinking about and eventually you will know” the man said pleasant and Kitty only nods politely.

When she starts jogging again, she notices something, the man said he wanted to feed the birds…but Kitty saw no bird food with him, and as she looks around the park looks bigger and different by each minute.

“Maybe I´m in the wrong park”______________________________“I know it´s you” Kitty points at the blue fuzzy man wearing a white suit, another lucid dream “Stop, why are you doing this?”

“Because I got my eyes on you, Katzchen, and you are worthy” the creature speaks happily.

“Of what?”

“Of getting your deepest wish, I´ll grant it”

Kitty wakes up sweating again. She mutters that is only a dream, but, when a student complains of getting bruises in his back prompts Kitty to take care of…she takes a huge shock.

Is not a dream anymore. Is written in the Student´s flesh.____________________________________________Magik is back with bad news, well, the woman didn´t need to try to hide as the X-men are mutating into something that sure is not part of the grand speech Magneto is always giving.

Scott and Rogue are intact by sheer luck. Ororo did leave the X-men(it was a suggestion made by Kitty, something is wrong here and if Ororo has the chance to leave, she should go…Ororo invite Kitty to go with her, but…Kitty declines as IT HAS EYES ON HER)

“Katya” Magik speaks looking at the sky, there´s a moon now, but…is still day, Magik is pale now. “I know what is causing this…but I don´t think we can defeat him, the best case scenario is put wards and hope for him to get bored”

Magik offer no other explanation as she created wards blocking the moon, which is now red, as the wards are ready the place turns into a hellish dimension. If even Illyana is scared, then, the situation is bad.

“Belasco talks about him” Yana speaks"he has many names but we never dare to say the name so freely"

“I know…I know it´s him” Kitty revealed as the book is back with Kitty “and I know what he wants” she hugs Yana as another golden moon shows up.“Sorry”

She said running away from the wards.

“I´m here, you won, just please, leave them alone, is me you want, right?” Kitty shouts to the moons, yet, something lightly touches her shoulder.

“Of course, I want you, but I admit, it was a fun mess with you X-men” the creature speaks and seems pleased that Kitty is with the book “Good, you take it back, it was really rude not to use my gift, but, I forgive you, no one ever gives you such gift”

“Gift?” Kitty´ll hardly think this book as a gift but better not anger the monster “Are you going to eat me here now or later?”

“Is that a sexual innuendo? Well, I´m a bit shy to do this in front of an audience but if you prefer”

“Stop joking, just ends this already”

“I want you! only that” a tentacle wrapped around her waist gentle “and I think you humans prefer a more direct approach, here I´m, now Katzchen, I said I´ll make your dream come true, you want to see more of life, I can show you.”

“All I have to do is saying your name?”

“Yes”

Kitty now looks at the X-men then to the entity in front of her.

“Nyarlathotep” the name wasn’t spoken as the entity was hoping, either way, her mind and feelings are focused on him…that´s more than enough.

New Year's Eve Prank

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Word count: 2k

L/N: your last name

Fun fact?: This was originally planned to get posted on the 01/01 at 12:00am, then it became 31/12 at 10pm and then I switched it to 10am, and it ended up being 12pm... I couldn’t wait for it to come out! 

A/N: Agkdlghkefgkkljfkjfj (this sums up the whole process, I’ve edited like a 10000 times, and I'm still not convinced, though) / The Marauders are such good characters to put on paper, but I still prefer the Weasley twins. Anyway, may this post bring you a happy, happier, happiest New Year! 

Being in couple with one of the Marauders is quite difficult, but having the handsome, hilarious, and turbulent Sirius Black as a boyfriend can be exhausting! What if he decides to ruin New Year’s Eve countdown? Hopefully, he knows a good way to be forgotten.

“Did you see his face?” bursts a loud male voice from behind the corner. Its tone is very jovial, which says much about its owner's personality.

“Of course I did! I was sitting right in front of him,” answers the buoyant boy's  friend. He’s taller than him, with a few scars spread across his face.

“D’you reckon he knows we did it?” asks the smallest one. He’s on the right side of the group, and he’s having a hard time to keep pace with the others.

“I don’t think so. We’ve never used pink sticky glitter before,” assures the fourth, pushing his glasses back on the top of his nose.

The boys chuckle.

The four Marauders, the worst troublemakers and best pranksters that Hogwarts has ever known, are on their way to the Great Hall, discussing about their latest joke.

They’re on their seventh year, but instead of fully focusing on their N.E.W.T.s, they prefer to give the school the best - or worst, it depends of the point of view - ten months it has ever had. Basically, they want to seal their educational years with a loud bang.

Of course, yesterday’s Christmas banquet could not have been left out of their record.

“I’ve never seen old Dumbdy looking so astonished,” says the dark-haired one.

“Mind you, with sparkles all over his beard, he didn’t look as solemn as usual,” adds the one with extremely messy hair. He has nothing to envy to his other friend: they’re both extremely good-looking.

“You had the best idea, Prongs. Offering him a Liquid Sticking Glitter Spell in a flask of one of your father’s beard lotions was brilliant. Not that difficult to figure out, but too simple to think about when you’re about to use it, ” reflects the most serious-looking of them. Many get confused by his looks of responsible young adult, but he is as mischievous as his friends.

“Yes, but still. He wasn’t so amused after all. Are you sure he doesn’t suspect us?” asks the plump boy with a worried look on his face.

“Oh, come on, Wormy. Don’t ruin the mood. Plus, he was too occupied by rubbing his beard to see us cackling madly.”

Sirius’ reprimand ends the conversation, but not for long.

As soon as the four young men step in the Great Hall, an angry voices rings in the room. “James Fleamont Potter! What have you done?”

As a rush of long, red hair, storms toward the group, several people at the nearby table giggle. Obviously, the rest of the Marauders shot them angry looks and they quickly get back to their porridge.

“How. Dare. You?” shouts Lily, so close to James that he is squinting to look at her. “I was talking about it with Y/N and…”

Your friend can’t finish her sentence as Sirius pushes her away to get to you. In two steps, he reaches you to leave a loud kiss on your lips, playing with your tongue for a few seconds. That is how you like to start a day.

“Anyway,” continues Lily. You were so absorbed by your boyfriend that you didn’t noticed her speech has been going on. “What you did was just stupid. It was not funny, it was-”

“Hilarious,” you conclude. She turns toward you, and a shadow of relief on her face proves that your suppositions were right: she is not really upset about her boyfriend’s behavior, she just wants to avoid him getting into more trouble. “Come on, Lily, let’s say it. Pink just suits Dumbledore perfectly.”

“By the way, you should be happy, we were reasonable. This time we didn’t prank Sniv-Severus,” remarks James

“So you aimed for the most powerful wizard of all times. Very reasonable, indeed,” you sigh.

The whole group laughs, and James kisses his girlfriend on the cheek. The peace is back, for now at least.

“What about that Hufflepuff boy from third year?”

“He’s too short, wouldn’t be noticed in the crowd.”

“So Helena, from Slytherin?”

“Are you crazy, Pads? Last time we pranked her we got body binded for the whole charms class! She said it was a mistake, still Flitwick couldn’t find a countercurse. We better leave her out of this.”

“We said we wouldn’t bother the first years, and we can’t target Ed and Maddy again, we’ve done them three days ago!”

“That’s the problem, Moony. We’ve pranked half the world, who’s left here in Hogwarts?”

“McGonagall!”

“We can’t do this to Minnie, Wormy.”

Just like you thought, the quiet couldn’t last long.

As the six of you walked to your favorite spot on the grounds, the tree next to the lake, Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter were already discussing about who their next victim would be.

“Why don’t you guys take a few days off,” you suggest.

“And leave everybody else a rest too,” adds your redheaded friend.

The four boys look at you as if you had just proposed to cut their hands off.

“We can’t,” says James.

“It’s a matter of principles,” agrees Remus.

“It’s funny,” pipes Peter.

“Everybody knows that a prank is the best way to end the year,” finishes Sirius.

You scowl at your boyfriend. How irritating he can be sometimes. “For you, maybe, but not for the poor person that will be bathed in pumpkin juice or whatever else you’re planning.”

Kissing your hand,  that he was holding in his, he chuckles. “No risk that we’ll bath somebody in pumpkin juice, darling, I promise. That’s too simple-minded. We want something bigger for New Year’s Eve.”

You were about to fake hurt because he called you simple-minded when a bell rings in your head. “You won’t do it during the countdown, will you?” You frown, afraid that the answer may contrary you.

“And why not, sweetheart?” His raised eyebrow just makes your anger get worse.

“You’re- You’re supposed to… I don’t know… People just…” you mumble.

The silky black hair of your loved one dance in the air as he laughs. “You mean, I have to kiss you?”

“That’s the idea,” you agree. “So we can get a- a good start.”

Your boyfriend gets silent for a moment, which leaves you the opportunity to shoot a glance at Lily and James. They too have stopped talking. The girl is looking at her partner rather indignantly.

“Sirius Orion Black, if you prank anybody during the countdown, I swear that I’ll never want to hear about you again.” Your tone clearly demonstrate that you won’t accept to come in a second plane after a stupid joke.

“That goes for you too, James.” Lily doesn’t sound very friendly either.

Remus and Peter haven’t said a thing since the beginning of this conversation, and their facial expression translate their relief to be single. However, they’re used to supporting their friends, so they don’t last long before opening their mouth.

“Maybe there is no reason to be this categorical, you know,” points out Remus. “You can put up a bet.”

James’ girlfriend was visibly interested. “What kind of bet?”

“Well, let’s say that if your boyfriends don’t resist the urge to prank someone during the countdown they will owe you, well, we can say-”

“A ton of cookies!”

Peter’s idea is quite funny, but both Lily and you nod. If there is something that these guys hate more than boredom, it’s cooking.

“Seems fair, but what if we do resist-”

“Now don’t make me laugh, James. You guys never miss an occasion to make somebody else look like a fool.”

And after Lily’s honest and, you unfortunately have to recognize, accurate comment, the conversation switches to more frivolous topics.

“Ten!” That’s it. A new year is about to start. The whole lot of students that stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays are watching the sky apprehensively, waiting for the fireworks. Peter is among them, his chubby face lightened with happiness. Remus is among them, holding hands with a girl you’ve seen a few times in the corridors. James and Lily are among them, in each other's arms.

“Nine!” And what are you doing? You’re watching the happy crowd from a dark corner. Not so far, though, just a few feet away.

“Eight!” How did you get here? Easy, Sirius’ ultimate idea of a prank. 

“Seven!” Couldn’t you say no? Of course, you could!  But he just insisted so much, and he put on that puppy face. He’s such an idiot.

“Six!” Right now he is pointing his wand at something that’s floating toward the crowd. It looks like a gigantic soap bubble. He will make it pop so slug slime will splash on everyone.

“Five!” Now that you come to think about it, the plan feels a bit blurry. You’re not really sure it will work without harming anyone.

“Four!” Maybe you should stop this, you’re running out of time.

“Three!” You turn to warn your companion, but he squeezes your arm to reassure you.

“Two!” The voices become louder, if it is even possible, and you can barely hear the music in the background. This is not going to end good.

“One!” Your boyfriend is about to-. Why did he drop his wand?

“Happy New Year!”

Is the crowd still shouting? It’s impossible to know. Things fall in your hair - confetti? coils? probably both - and people pat your back, but you vaguely feel it all.

Sirius’ lips on yours make the rest of the world disappear. It’s just the two of you in your bubble, floating like on a cloud.

You are not sharing the usual sticky, wet kiss. This one is soft, delicate, tender. It almost feels like your boyfriend is trying to apologize for all the pranks you had to suffer, the admonitions and the warnings you had to give. It almost feels like a promise to always try to make you happy, to spend the rest of his life with you, to share your days and your nights.

But deep inside, you know that this kiss not about the past, nor about the future. These are not the tenses you are living in. It is not about yesterday or tomorrow. This kiss is about how much he loves you, and how well you complete him. It’s about now.

With your eyes closed and your fingers running through his always perfect hair, you try your best to say that yes, you feel the same way. You love him. He completes you.

After a few moments of this mute talk, when the bubble bursts and the loud cheering make its way back to your ears, you open your eyes to take in your first vision of this new year. Sirius is looking at you, smiling, saying with his gaze what he was saying with his lips some seconds ago. It couldn’t be better.

“So what about that, L/N? Is this start good enough for you?” he asks, tightening his grip on your waist.

“Yes, I guess it’s okay,” you answer in a playful tone. “But that’s not what I’m thinking about right now, Black.”

“Oh, really,” he whispers, still grinning. “Then what are you thinking about, darling?”

“I’m thinking about…” you pause, wanting to add as much suspense as you can to your words. “The huge amount of cookies that you’ll have to bake for me. You pranked me, you... you daring... piece of clown. I thought I wouldn’t get my kiss!”

His reaction comes as a roaring laugh. “ I just wanted you to think that we were going to ruin everybody’s countdown. But fine,” he says. “I’ve lost the bet. But I hope that you’ll help me. I’m not good at cooking.”

“Of course I’ll help you! I don’t want to eat carbonized biscuits for the rest of my life!”

There is more laughing, and you know that you’ve said the right thing. Sirius much prefers a well shot sarcastic comment rather than a long and dull declaration of love. After all, you’ve just said that you want to spend the rest of your life eating his cookies.

“I love you,” he breathes. “Happy new year, Y/N.”

“I love you too,” you murmur between two kisses. “Happy new year, Sirius.”