#So I had to clear out my cache if I wanted to use more than one app at a time or else I'd only have 100mb available
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Working on lots of stuff that I look forward to finishing...... here's a sneak peek of one of them
#v.png#Not related to the post but I had to uninstall the Tumblr app so I'm on chrome right now#Because one of the system apps on my phone is nearly 2 GIGABYTES for no discernible reason#And I can't do anything to make it smaller or prevent it because I don't know what's causing it#It just grows in size randomly#So it kept getting bigger to the point where my phone constantly only had 400mb available#So I had to clear out my cache if I wanted to use more than one app at a time or else I'd only have 100mb available#And even after uninstalling Tumblr and Discord which are 300mb together#My phone still won't go lower than 15.4gb out of 16gb no matter what I do#It'll be fine but I just wanted to talk about it#Sighhhhhhhhhh#So if I'm not interacting with my mutuals a lot (bc Tumblr on chrome doesn't like putting your mutuals on your dash) that's why
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How I got my Sims 2 game working on my new Windows 11 laptop, step by step.
OKAY. Gadies and Lentlemen.
I have seen plenty of these around, but I wanted to share my process!
So I bought an MSI creator laptop. The specs are as follows:
CPU: 13th gen Intel i7-13700H
RAM: 16 GB DDR5
GPU: NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4050 laptop GPU
Step One: Fresh install. I used the EA App to install the UC version on my new laptop.
Step Two: Download and install RPC launcher. This will automatically apply the 4gb patch. Run as administrator, but not in any kind of compatibility which renders the 4gb patch useless.
Step Three: Download and install Graphics Rule Maker. I used all of the recommended settings, aside from texture memory which I set at 2048 mb for reasons that will become clear later.
Step Four: Memory allocation fix (empty standby list). Explanation here.
Step Five: Setting virtual memory. I used instructions from this post at MTS - My virtual memory paging file is now minimum of 25000 and maximum of 30000. You'll need to adjust to your system's own specs.
Step Six: In game settings. Shadows Off. Neighbours Off. Lighting Medium. RPC Settings. Apply 4GB patch. Automatically Clean Cache. Lot Imposters Optimized. Sim/Object Shadows Classic. I also have lot view ocean reflections ticked.
If your game works like this with no flashing and crashing, awesome. Mine did not. I firstly tried several different texture memory sizes, but they had 0 impact.
I believe the next step is only for NVIDIA cards, but may be wrong.
Step Seven: DXVK. The most recent version from, here. There are plenty of instructions on how to install out there. But make sure you install the 32bit version. I have these two following lines in my DXVK.conf file (and do make sure it is saved as a conf file, NOT a txt or similar).
d3d9.maxAvailableMemory=2048
d3d9.presentInterval=0
The first line corresponds to the texture memory mentioned earlier. DXVK installs won't recognise more than that and having it higher can cause crashes apparently. The second line... No idea what it does but it was mentioned in several guides and reddit posts.
I don't know if the newer versions of DXVK allow fullscreen mode as the older ones did not, but I play in borderless mode anyway which works.
I also delete my thumbnails folder every so often.
I hope this helps someone, this silly old game can be cantankerous but I was determined to get it running again!
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This is just a random snippet that’s been rolling around my brain.
***
He hated fighting magic users.
As the explosion cleared, Dick looked around trying to get his bearings. The surroundings had shifted. Dirty snow lay on the ground. The everpresent glow that surrounded Gotham at night was oddly absent. The air tasted slightly of smoke. And the skyline…Dick knew that craggy, broken skyline.
No Man’s Land.
Beside him, Jason started muttering. “I hate dimensional travel.” Damian had drawn his sword and was gripping it the way he tended to for comfort. And Tim? Tim’s eyes were flickering from building to building, cataloguing everything, before catching on the spraypainted territory marks and sticking.
Get up and go, Nightwing, Dick told himself. This is a bad place to be. You need food, shelter, and a read on the exact territory rules right now. And you’re too far away from Leslie’s hospital to get in safely tonight.
“Robin.” They both looked at him. “Damian, watch the sightlines. Tim. I know you spent more time with Oracle working on the earlier maps than I did. Can you get a read on exactly when and where we are?” Tim nodded and headed straight for the graffiti, tilting his head to look at the obscured tags.
“It’s some post-apocalyptic Gotham universe, Nightwing,” said Jason grumpily. “What’s he going to be able to tell?”
Tim snorted and turned back to the group. “Upper East Side. Somewhere between about 130-150, but probably closer to 130 given the snow and the blood on the wall isn’t that old. Pretty near the Two-Face territory border too; we’d better keep an eye out for the Bat.”
Dick flicked back through memories he’d suppressed as no longer relevant, especially the early moves he’d not been present for. He wished for a second Barbara was here, then suppressed the thought guiltily. She’d be so much more across this.
“Mask?”
“We’re far enough east to be out of his territory right now but I wouldn’t want to risk it. And of course there’s the usual issue with Leslie.” Tim was stating the obvious, in his worry. Dick could feel how much he could no longer remember. It was too early in the period for proper stability, he’d spent most of his time based in the south near Blue Boys territory once he’d left Blackgate, and while he still remembered where all the satellite caves were, there was always the issue that Bruce would notice.
“Faith sector?”
“Probably our best bet tonight but I don’t like taking resources from them.” Tim’s forehead wrinkled. Dick didn’t like it either, but needs must. They could resupply from a cache.
“What the fuck are you two talking about?” Jason was getting more aggravated.
“There’s movement on that broken roof,” muttered Damian, tilting his head to indicate which one.
“Shit.” Dick could see the flap of a black cape as well as the rest of them. There were two options right now and both of them were going to be a problem. “Hood, I’m going to need you to keep quiet. Little D, stick close to me. I’ll explain in a moment. Tim?” Tim looked Dick in the eye for a moment and nodded.
“Yeah, it’d better be me.” He cracked his neck, idly drew out his staff to use as a walking stick, and headed straight for the building.
“What is this?” Jason hissed. “Why are you two acting so weird. And…fuck is that Batgirl?” A familiar black shape had dropped from the roof to land in front of Tim, full face mask and all.
Dick sighed. “No. It isn’t. And please don’t call her that. Robin is about to have to talk very fast. This is almost certainly time travel, not dimensional travel. We’re in No Man’s Land.”
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yknow i really like the headcanon where addisons, when they're tired or otherwise out of energy, can plug into some sort of cable and recharge at the end of a long day. but i also like the headcanon where their main source of energy is money. while they can eat anything, from regular human food to magic food to shoes, usually the most important nutrients an addison can get is from any type of currency. and i thought, why not both? humans do the same. addisons use food as the main source of energy, and connect themselves to a cable so they can clear their caches and be more ready than ever to be able to sell and work, which is all that they're supposed to be able to do.
and that made me think a little more about addispam's place in all that.
you guys know about the right to repair, right? that ever-looming fact that as consumerism becomes more and more dominant in our lives, and as corporations strive to make more and more money, the things we buy are reaching new levels of craptastic that they're basically made to break, and that older tech, while durable as hell, is basically totally accommodated for in the modern day.
and what about addispam in that context? in my fanon, he's a much older model of addison that accidentally rebooted, meant for the dump but is now roaming cyber city trying to fulfill the one purpose he was made for. but of course, the world isn't made for him anymore. maybe it never was
i'd think it'd really click for him once he tried to plug into a cable to recharge. it's practically necessary for any addison these days: if you want to sell properly, you need to clear your cache, or else your head will be swimming with endless noise that'll just fuck you up the longer it's allowed to accumulate. so, spamton bought itself a charging cable with the little money it had, after asking around to figure out what it was supposed to do (cause no one ever gave it a rulebook). but as soon as he tried to do it, the charger wouldn't fit. it went back to the store. tried another cable. didn't fit. turns out they don't sell chargers that fit its model anymore. nobody does. so addispam has to deal with a cache that keeps building and building.
and what about other things? updates are crucial to addisons. you HAVE to keep up with the styles, you HAVE to keep up with the trends, and you NEED to mimic every single little thing a lightner does but not TOO much or it might be too uncanny. so when a new update comes out, everyone's getting it.
except spamton. its model's far too old to receive such updates. it's not even on the table anymore. the last update for a model of his kind was probably a decade ago, and of course, there's no way to modify him to receive one in a way that won't kill him.
and modifications are another thing. as lines of code compressed to form sentient artificial organisms, cyber citizens can modify themselves in any way they want. tall, short, thin, fat, long hair, short hair, eye color, fingernails, even down to the way your voice sounds, you can modify yourself in any way you want. isn't that the dream? and hey, they still have modifications available for spamton's type of model? isn't that fantastic?
except they cost money. way too much money. these are the types of mods that if spamton had them, he'd probably be able to make a few sales, but he can't, because he doesn't have MONEY. and that's the thing that's fueling all of this.
everyone needs their cache cleared so they can make sales. everybody needs to update right away so they can make sales. everyone needs to modify themselves in just the right way so they can make sales. keeping everyone on their toes, their nerves ready to explode once the right mistake is made, is just the way an addison's world works. you wouldn't want to fail at your one and only purpose, would you? you wouldn't want to end up like that guy, you know him, everyone knows him, and everyone knows how much they DON'T want to be him. because they'd be failures if they were anything like him.
anyway i hate consumerism bye <3
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Kit’s Essential Mods to Enhance your Overall Gameplay
I really love The Sims 4, but I love The Sims 4 because I play a heavily modded game. This is a list of all the major mods I currently use to ✨ elevate ✨ my TS4 gameplay.
This does not really include anything for family gameplay or occults -- I tried to stick to “core” gameplay overhauls. You can find my list of recommended mods for school years here.
This list was last updated 19 February 2023 / 1.95.207.1030
Preface
I wanted to put this at the top because it’s a really important step but so many people don’t know or forget about it:
Whenever you are changing out mods, adding new ones, or updating, always remember to clear your caches. So many miscellaneous problems are solved by deleting two little files in your TS4 folders: avatarcache and localthumbcache.
Also always, always read what the modder has said!!!
MC Command Center
MCCC is such a far-reaching mod that I honestly believe it should be in everyone’s mod folder by default. It added Story Progression before we had Neighborhood Stories. It allows editing of career outfits without an extra mod. It has a teleport sim option so you can pose sims together off lot. It’s more of a what CAN’T it do sort of utility mod. It even makes cheating in game easier!
TwistedMexi’s Better Exceptions
This is another “utility” mod, which is why it’s at the top before we start building a mod folder that is disgustingly huge. Better Exceptions finds those Last Exceptions, pinpoints their cause, and helps you fix the problem. It also runs a report after each patch to check for mod compatibility. Another “must have” to make your modding experience simpler.
The latest public release also helps you track down bad outfit CC so you can finally find that item that keeps attaching itself to each sim walking by or while they’re in the shower. See what I mean? Immensely useful, must have mod.
Wicked Whims OR Wonderful Whims
I’m not here to kink shame you. I’ve used both, depending on what sort of gameplay I’m in the mood for. Both WWs add an attraction system based on appearance, ‘reward’ personality types that are automatically assigned to sims based on their CAS traits and menstrual cycles. One adds NSFW animations, some of which are weirder than others. Use at your age-appropriate discretion.
If you do get Wicked Whims, I advise you also immediately grab the CAS Default Underwear add on so you aren’t surprised by your Sim’s Bits and Bobs while you’re dressing them.
Kuttoe’s Keep Sims in Home Region
I hate walkbys. Like. I hate random walkbys. There is nothing in my game worse than a sim in Oasis Springs just strolling on by in Windenburg. Stay in your freakin lane, Nancy Landgraab.
This is great because 1) it keeps sims designated in certain areas for walkbys, 2) it allows you to assign the world homeless sims should be in and 3) you can allow some worlds to have some crossover. Like, in my mind, Oasis Springs, Del Sol Valley and Strangerville are all pretty close to one another. I allow them to have some overlap. I do not allow Henford on Bagley and Windenburg sims to randomly show up in Strangerville, because in my mind, they are overseas.
There’s also a custom lot trait to allow sims from all over to show up, so tourism can still boom in your worlds.
Language Barriers by Frankk
But now that you’re keeping their sims in their area of the sim globe....
After all, it’s sort of silly that every single sim speaks the same language from the suburbs of Newcrest to the jungles of Selvadorada to the peaks of Mt. Komorebi. Oh no. We have to make this harder on ourselves.
This mod adds 7 languages to the sims universe: Simlish, Windenburgish, Selvadoradian, Toki Sulani, Komorebigo, Tartosiano and Sixami. Your native language is based on the world you live in, family, occult, etc. It limits communication between sims who don’t speak the same language. But! You can learn new languages by studying them... If you have High School Years, you can even pick what language you learn in class? Like? Why wouldn’t you want this??
Lumpinou’s Mod Suite
Lumpinou’s mods are at this point so essential to my game that I don’t know how much farther I could go on this list without naming them.
Mood Pack & Custom Moods for some Moodlets: tons of new moods in game. The Mood Pack is required for some of the other mods on this list [not just Lumpinou’s!]; Custom Moods changes some of the in-game moodlets to match the custom moods.
First Impressions: This nifty mod adds First Impressions to the game--sentiments the second sims meet based on traits. First Impression sentiments can be positive or negative... and maybe for some sims, it’s even Love at First Sight 👀 I’ve recommended it before for Bachelor/ette Challenges, but it’s honestly a mainstay in my regular gameplay. I love when sims are tense around each other because their first meeting went so poorly.
Talents & Weaknesses: Traits can affect how fast sims learn certain skills but isn’t it boring that all creative sims are going to be good at every creative skill? This mod adds innate talents and weaknesses to your sims. It reminds me a lot of Freetime’s One True Hobby, giving a boost to the things they’re naturally talented at doing, but it also does a bonus of giving you skills that they’re just not good out
Road to Romance: This mod overhauls the romance system, adding a romance skill that unlocks more and more interactions the better your sim gets at romancing. It also adds rabbit hole dates for sims to go on together, as well as Couples Counseling!
Open Love Life & No Strings Attached: Open Love Life adds a preference for relationship types (exclusive, non-exclusive or indifference). You can even have a throuple if you like (there’s also basically a ‘hall pass’ option which I think is hilarious but I digress)! No Strings Attached added FWBs before EA added Woohoo Buddies, but it works better... And sims can even eventually catch feelings. Another really really fun storytelling mod.
✨ Relationship & Pregnancy Overhaul: This is one of the crown jewels in Lumpinou’s collection. A whole wide-reaching overhaul of the relationship system. Plays exceptionally well with the above romance-related mods but can be used alone. It adds pretty much everything you could think: preferences on having kids, pregnancy interactions, fertility, woohoo transmitted diseases, fights over unplanned pregnancies, an overhaul of cheating, options for breaking up, custody battles... I’m absolutely missing stuff here. It adds SO MUCH.
✨ LGBTQIA+ Gender & Orientation Overhaul: The other crown jewel imo. This is a complete overhaul of EA’s current system that works alongside the EA one. It allows your sims to fully identify as non-binary sims (as well as agender, genderfluid and transgender). It allows them to question their sexuality and gender. If you want to tell the story of a closeted sim, you can. Sims can come out to one another. There’s queerplatonic relationships. Sims can get unexpected crushes when they thought they were straight and maybe aren’t! It’s INTENSE. Especially as a legacy player, I don’t always go into my saves saying “yes today I think my heir will be nonbinary”... I roll with the punches. This punches me right back.
LittleMsSam’s Mods
Another modder whose wide array of mods are so widely used... It’s hard to imagine my game without them. These are the big ones I use, but I also use a few of her smaller mods (Brush Teeth After Puking and the Wake Up Overhaul are SUPER recommended. Especially the Wake Up Overhaul! It’s so small but adds so much ok moving on)
Pregnancy Overhaul: changes the size of belly, walkstyle when pregnant, and unlocks some interactions -- I usually go for the smaller belly in the 1st trimester only, allowing it to grow larger over time, as well as all the “pregnant sims can do more”... I also add the chance of death. What can I say, I like to live on the edge. Also goes perfectly with Advanced Birth Certificate, if you’re like me and likes that there’s special birth certificates for special occult babies.
SimDa: a dating app for your sims! Find the love of your life, your next one night stand, or just get a blind date.
First Love: for your child sims to have little childhood crushes 🥺
Sul Sul Weather App: don’t you hate when you travel to Sulani for a beach day in game and there’s a full on monsoon happening? This app lets you check the weather before going.
21 Day Seasons: why did EA go from 14 to 28.... why....
Calm Bees: if you’ve ever given in to your sims’ desires and bought them that fucking bee box in spring... you know why this is essential
I also use the following mods for holidays: more holiday icons, holiday traditions, no school tradition, no work tradition, wellness traditions.
MissyHissy’s Hopes & Fears Mod
This is a complete freaking overhaul of wants and fears. In addition to adding whimsets for the later packs that didn’t have them because EA was busy working on the new wants/fears system... It actually upgraded the whims Maxis forgot into wants and made sure there’s sets for children, toddlers and elders. Because y’know. EA “kinda forgot” about those life stages.
Helaene’s Preferences Plus + Preference Bomb
First of all, shout out to Helaene for truly being a real one in terms of sims community longevity. I remember being a kid and downloading their TS2 stuff.
Preferences Plus adds TONS of new likes/dislikes for your sims, some with their own custom interactions--things like which outfit they prefer, favorite flavors and drinks, and more. Preference Bomb then rolls them for all sims in your game--with actual logic applied. Really cool!
Have Some Personality Please! by PolarBearSims
The main draw of this mod is that it completely removed the goofy idle chitchat of nothingness that sims do, along with the increased autonomy to do stuff that makes sense. I love when my sims do things of their own accord! It makes it more fun, more exciting! Otherwise, what is the point of traits anyway.
ChippedSim’s Graveyard, Paws & Claws & Lively Towns
Three mods that add some life to your town.... Well, sort of life....
The Happy Haunts Graveyard mod adds the graveyard lot type, along with appropriate NPCs, moodlets, and some new interactions related to tombstone... But because it’s modular, it also adds some additional paranormal gameplay if you have that stuff pack, some grieving interactions and more. I really like having graveyards in game [especially for my vampire slayers to lurk in].
Paws & Claws is based around animals, naturally--stuff for your pets, preferences for animals besides the cat/dog person traits... But the module I’m really keen on though is the Animal Shelter part! You can build and run your own Animal Shelter in game 🥺
Lively Towns is actually an object based script mod--it allows you to build multi-purpose lots. There are three shops so far (flower store, arts and crafts, and bookstore) but for those lots you see on the gallery that have multiple stores in one... imo it’s invaluable.
Kuttoe’s Random Calls & Texts and Lotharihoe’s Phone Call Overhaul
These two mods add some better... phone usage to your sims. The Phone Call overhaul makes the stupid phone calls you receive way less intrusive and just smarter in general. The additional “delayed invitations” add on is ALSO great for when your sim is invited on a date and you can... you know... get ready for it.
Kuttoe’s Random Texts adds a bunch of new calls and texts messages for your sims (one of my favorites is a call from a parent and they give you some extra money 😭 like how sweet is that?). I’ve had both in my game for a while and they play nicely together from my experience.
ADeepIndigo’s Healthcare Redux & Family Therapy
“Kit if you like traditional The Sims style silly gameplay why do you get these realistic mods” ............. because I like to make the gameplay harder, ok. I like to make my sims suffer. I like the chance of death around every corner for these goobers.
Healthcare Redux does... well... overhaul healthcare in the game. It adds a bunch of more realistic diseases, as well as allergies and injuries, and even medical emergencies. There are also a few new deaths (yay new deaths!).
Family Therapy adds an option that pops up when sims in the same family have negative sentiments towards each other... They can try to work through them and repair relationships with the help of a trained professional. I think that’s super cool tbh??? Like Lumpinou’s mod has couples counseling as a rabbit hole but this also adds a therapist that can make house calls. And it has some functionality for Basemental so..............
ADeepIndigo also has Dental Care and Eye Care mods which I have been... eyeing, but have not played with extensively yet, as well as some mods like Simulation is not Free and SimNation Travel that add to difficulty!
There is also now a Self Image mod, but it comes with the warning that yes, it does delve into EDs. I played with it a bit, and it can make gameplay a lot harder.
Custom Traits
I know not everyone enjoys custom traits--right now, I still use the regular three traits per sim--but sometimes I get a little bored of the same ones, and EA really dropped the ball on traits this game so...
New Emotional Traits by Kuttoe: adds emotional based traits--some are just additional new traits to match the emotions that don’t have them (like Coward) but some are extreme versions of the ones we already have.
New Hobby Traits by Kuttoe: We add movies, we don’t add a Movie Buff Trait. Make it make sense, EA.... There are way more than that though. It also adds a Technophobe trait which I also really missed from TS3.
New Spa Day Traits by Kuttoe: two new traits that play nicely with Spa Day.
Traits by Scarlet: Photographer’s Eye and Socially Anxious! Again! Traits we probably should have but alas!
More Traits by Maplebell: even MORE traits for your sims--these are also very maxismatchy--there is some overlap with some of Kuttoe’s, so ymmv. I use all of them because I like chaos.
Offspring of NPC Traits by Baniduhaine: this one is a little different than the others, as they aren’t CAS traits at all. If you’ve ever played TS3 you might know that offspring of NPC sims would have hidden traits... And if you’ve ever had a kid with Father Winter, you know his kids have a special trait in TS4. This adds inheritable gameplay traits for lots of different NPCs! It adds a little something extra to gameplay, it’s pretty cool 🤓
The Personality Mod and The Hobby Mod by MissyHissy: these are two trait packs that add reward traits inspired by TS2. The Personality Mod adds ones inspired by the 6 TS2 Aspirations, the Hobby Mod by TS2 Freetime. Another one that just... adds a little something more for whim-driven gameplay. I know they aren’t called whims anymore but I’m pretty sure the game strings still call them whims so.
Vegetarian and Lactose Intolerant Overhaul Mods by Robin: another reward trait change--these don’t take away the traits and hide them in CAS, but they make it so that you can simply... choose to be vegetarian. And while your sim probably wouldn’t choose to be lactose intolerant, you can, of course exercise your Watcher-given powers to MAKE them be lactose intolerant. I mean... Why waste a trait slot on either when you could simple be?
Custom Aspirations
I used to use Ky-E’s Aspiration Overhaul, which was fun--it’s now being updated by NC4T and you can find it here--which did what it suggests. It completely overhauls the Aspiration system, making them more lifetime worthy, instead of “extended tutorials” as Ky-E eloquently put it. There were also 38 new aspirations added by the mod.
That said, because I do like to make and share sims with my friends, it’s just been easier on me to switch away from the overhaul to custom aspirations. These are what my game currently has. Ilkavelle made the bulk of these, so I specifically marked other creators.
Applied Animal Behaviorist
Certified Breeder
Dr. Doolittle
Simternet Conquerer
The Mother Plant Resurrection [more Strangerville gameplay? sign me tf up]
UFO Investigator & Art of Flower Arranging
Music Producer
Dedicated Environmentalist
My Own Business
Ultimate Stan - so you can experience the allure of celebrity but not be a celebrity
Voice Virtuoso
Perfectly Balanced
ADeepIndigo’s Platinum Artist
ADeepIndigo’s Blog Star (and blogging hobby!)
MissBee’s Self-Sufficient
Child Aspirations
Teen Aspirations
KiaraSims4′s Twilight Years - this requires a custom event but honestly... worth it just to have something for elders
Mods I am not currently using but still recommend:
Slice of Life: Kawaiistacie’s Big Ass Mod that overhauls... so much. Like. So much. I do really recommend trying it out to see if it works for you, but it’s a bit too much for my games on top of everything else I have--I don’t need two menstrual systems, you know? One is enough.
Lifetime Aspirations: As I said before, it’s easier to pick and choose custom aspirations at the moment than overhaul everything completely. But I do eye it up occasionally and I enjoyed my time playing with it.
ADeepIndigo’s Education Overhaul: the main reason I don’t play with this one is because it’s a bit too much of an overhaul for me--every big overhaul mod runs the risk of incompatibility of other mods, and Zer0′s Required Degrees for Promotions is my preferred mod of choice here.
Kuttoe’s Career Overhaul: ...see above. It’s incompatible with Zer0′s so I don’t have it in my game, but I’ve tried it before and liked it a lot. If you aren’t using Zer0′s Custom Degrees/Required Degrees for Promotions I absolutely recommend it.
Reshade and Gshade: actually I AM using ReShade but I don’t want to call it an essential... Making your game “prettier” isn’t an essential but I do like to have a “brighter” game and I hate editing so I play with ReShade. But I’m not calling it essential so it’s sneaking into the bottom of the list down here.
Basemental Drugs: use at your age-appropriate discretion. I’m still in the “testing it out” phase which is why it hasn’t been bumped to Essential Mod, but I am enjoying it. I am also Very Much An Adult.
#ts4#wcif#simblr help#mod list#mod recommendations#ts4 mod list#the real reason i made this is so i can link it in my resources
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Witnessing you play pathologic 2 is such a fucking trip bc like?? I own both 1 and 2, but I’ve only actually played pathologic 1 and like?? How in the blue fuck do you have 15 shmowders????? I think I got like- 6 in my entire playthrough- I was not doing well with my quests tho so that probably contributed but??? 15??????
16 now just baught some from my buddy ol'pal dead items shop man on day 7
But if you want an actual answer
Shmowder kid
Find a building with shmowder kid in it, exist and enter until they have the shmoder in their inventory for trade. 10% spawn chance.
Rare cache farming
I save before 7:30 when cache reset. Then I go and check all the assigned "rare" caches with a chance of spawning shmoders, usually 3-6 each day. They're scripted so they never change locations. I reload until I'm sure at least two of them have shmoders then bag it quickly. 20% spawn chance per rare cache.
Rob people
You don't find shmoders, but you aquire nut funds for your shmoder supplier kid. Basically get the cape and all the protective gear, waltz into infected houses with at least 8 immunity boosters then go haywire and grab all nuts you can find.
Quests?
Only two give a guarantee Shmoders so uhh...maybe if you feel like it? I did them either way.
Here is my progress so far
I could squeeze 3/4 more shmoders out of my plug girlie, but I'm running low on food, so I rather trade them for eggs instead. Plus, I'll get 2 more when it hits 7:30 from caches.
I'm saving up for the shotgun! Maybe a revolver too idk.
I found out brewing antibiotics is annoying so I rather trade for them instead, but + immune boosters are a must.
The town so far is good, I gotta start repairing water sources.
I think Peter's infection is scripted because he had like 75% chance to NOT get infected, lost twice in a row when I reloaded.
Eh, he's not one of my bounds so Imma wait for Daniil to come begging on his knees for a shmoder.
Side note, Artemy is so fucking stunted when talking to women he is attracted to. It's almost hilarious.
Meanwhile, compare it with his flirting with men, and he becomes as smooth as silk.
Artemy is so down bad for Rubin it's sad and funny at the same time.
It's like a love triangle i can't. Artemy wants childhood sweethearts romance with Rubin, but Rubin keeps rejecting him for big city dandy educated Bachelor of medicine, but Daniil is tripping over his own feet trying to subtly (failing) to get closer and more intimate with hunky bottom surgeon Artemy.
Making us "indebted" to him.
Trying to get us to be his "Aide"
By day 6, we're drinking buddies. He even ADMITS how his arrogance hurts him and is a bad trait. IN LESS THAN A WEEK OF MEETING US.
DANIIL ADMITING A MISTAKE, A FAULT, BY HIMSELF AND NOT UNDER THE THREAT OF A RIFILE.
I'm still not over how he invites us to EVA'S house, doesn't tell her and doesn't inform the hunching brooding gaint Artemy that a soft hearted woman lives where he's squatting at for free and instead let her panic at seeing Artemy bust in unannounced.
"The milkman" I FUCKING CANNOT. Daniil is the roomate who's late on rent, keeps flirting with you to make you forget that he is late on rent, then his grinder date shows up unannounced.
Daniil is so much nicer than people made him seem? Idk, maybe I'm too autistic to pick up on his normie passive-aggressive condescension-which feels very in character for Artemy-but also, he just seems like a decent swell guy!
Kinda useless, but he's trying his best without time turning protagonist active player powers!
If anything, he's too friendly. He asks US to be his aide? Even when it's clear that Artemy didn't attend a single day in school all of his life.
Because let's be real.
"Where did you graduate??"
"Medical...school"
ARTEMY YOU DUMB BITCH I LOVE YOU BUT IT'S TIME TO BEG FOR SPARE BRAINCELLS ON THE STREET.
Daniil's "you don't have to watch your tongue with me" omfggggf
The sabotaged water sources must be getting to Daniil's head for him to act this thirsty in a makeshift hospital IN PUBLIC.
Artemy is clearly someone that Daniil would absolutely look down on MORE than he would to the average person, and yet how does he treat us?
Like what the fuck were those youtubers about???? Daniil is so nice oh my god. I had completely the wrong idea. He is so helpful and friendly, not once did I feel antagonised by him.
Also, I didn't insult him, ever. So he never replied with any insulting comment. You treat him with respect, and he does the same. It's endearing!
He entrusts us and confides in us! He clearly values our input and help. He vents to us and listens to our theories!
Side note, people's reaction to Artemy's height and gaint size is gold.
Also, I think they have a kink for his hands because of the whole surgeon thing, like come on, it gets mentioned TWICE?
there is also this time where Artemy had a nightmare that he was sleeping through class, and for some reason, Daniil was just ???? In the corner ??? For misbehaving?
He barely met the guy and he already figured out how 90% of his time in the education system must have went.
also Artemy REALLY likes cats and dogs.
First he calls himself like a Kitten, then he says Murky is like a cat and finally:
Artmey is just phenomenal in this.
I bought the first Pathologic HD Classic today, too! It was on sale for so cheap my god it felt like highway robbery.
See this loser wet cat kiddo right here?
I will behead every man, woman, child and elderly in this entire town with a rusty Axe if even one of them touches a single hair on his head.
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Exclusive Interview with Spamton G. Spamton
Date: October 12th, 2131
Today Papa and Dadaton have mostly been sorting out logistics stuff, figuring out how the whole Spamton situation is gonna work, some ground rules and expectations, some schedule stuff to make sure some one's around to watch him and figuring out days for regular check-ins/therapy talks... it all seemed really boring to me and I didn't get half of it so I decided to go do something else.
Specifically, I decided to have a little interview with Spamton. There were a lot of questions I felt I needed answers to, however I knew it'd be rude to just jump straight into sensitive topics. Additionally, I felt since its gonna be living with us now for the time being, I may as well try to get to know my puppet pal a little better.
So here's how that went.
Q: Good morning Spamton. How are you doing today?
A: HEY H3Y IF IT ISBT ThE [City in a Garden]]!! WHUT CAN [Yours truly] DO YA 4 KID?
Q: I just had a few questions for you, if you don't mind. Sorta like an interview.
A: AN [Exclusive interview with] ME?!? AHAJEHAHAHA!! OF CORSE [[Little City]]! [Send your questions below]!
Q: Awesome! Then let's just start with the first question I got down here. Your full name is Spamton G. Spamton, correct?
A: U BET UR [[Low rank currency]]!SPAMTON G. SPAMTON! EVERY 'S FAVORIT [Number1RatedSalesman] [[circa1997]]!
Q: Putting aside the fact your first and last names are the same for now, what does the "G" stand for?
A: TEH [[G]]? AHAHEHAJAHA! I HAVE N0 CLUE. [@gmail.com]? [The Greatest th1ng you've seen on ]? Y? WUTS THE [g] IN [Chicago, IL] G BLU K STAND 4?
Q: Oh, what's MY middle name? Uh, Ghost. Well, that or Garamond. My dads couldn't really decide when I was born so it sorta stands for both.
A: THEN SHUDN:T IT B CHICAG0 [[GG]] BLO0K?
Q: Gyeh heh! Maybe. Anyways, next question. So you've mentioned a few times that you used to be a "Big Shot", or some big and famous, kinda like my Dadaton is out here in the Light World. Can you tell me a little bit more about that?
A: AHEAHAHAJA! OH B0Y CAN I EVR!! BACK IN TGE [Good ol days] I USED 2 BE ON TOP OF THE [[World Wide Web]] KID! BIG [Deals] BIG [Cars] BIG [All included stay at] QUEEN'S MAN SION! I WAZ FINALLY A [Big Shot], I HAD IT [[All u c0uld want & more!]] AND I DID IT @LL W/0UT TEH [Help Wanted] OF THOSE [[Backstabbing]] GELUS [All we do is ] 2!
Q: Riiiiiight. The Addisons. I heard you were like them though, before your rise to fame at least. What was your relationship like with them before everything went down?
A: K1D UR GONNA NEED 2 BE A LOT MOAR [Item specifications]. THEREZ AL0T OF [[Your Ad Here!]]
Q: Fine. Specifically the ones you worked with. Click? Flash? ... (I didn't get the names of the other two...)
A: ... [Clear Cache] & [[Ad Banner]]. I D0N;t WABT 2 [Talk 2 a licensed prof3ssional] A BOUT TH0sE [[Traitors]].
Q: Okay, fair, fair. Touchy subject. Should've probably expected that. Especially after what I heard about your guys fall out and how they sorta... um, abandoned you. I, my bad. L-let's just move on to another question.
A: AHAHAHEHA! Y3S! LET'S.
Q: Um, okay, here we go! You seem to like cars alot. You've especially mentioned them in great lengths when talking about your "Big Shot Era". Do you have a favorite model?
A: Y MY FAVRITE IS N0NE OTHER THAN TGE [[Brand New!!!]] [Ride around town in our] SPECIL [[1997 Cungadero]]! THIS [Sweet Ride] WILL MAKe ALL UR [Hopes and Dreams] COME TRYE WHILE [Ride] LEIK A [[Sweat Dream]] 2! FOR ONLY [10 easy payment of] [[666]] KROMER TGIS [Dalmatian puppies] CAN BEE YOURS 2DAY!!
Q: Ah. I've uh, never heard of that car but, um, cool! So then, hopping back to before your Big Shot days real quick, what did you used to do before selling cars and stuff?
A: THAT'S [Lemon Squ33zy]! I USED TO BE NOTHING BUT THE E_MAIL GUY, NOW I'M THE [[It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!]] GUY!
Q: . . . Ooookay then. I think that moves us to another question I've been curious about. What... what's with the burning?
A: WHAT [[Oh God! Help! Please stop! Help! It Burns!]]ING?
Q: That! I... Spamton. Yesterday you stared directly at the sun for several minutes. That HURTS. I know from experience that staring directly at the sun will like, burn your eyes.
A: AHEAHAHAHA! [[Amazed at thi5 amazing transformation? You too can]] HAVE A [[Communion]] WITH [[Unintelligble Laughter]]!
Q: I... (Now I'm even more confused...) okay let's just move on. Okay um... no, no, deeeefinitely not... I... what was your with last night?
A: L4ST [Alone on a Friday Night?]
Q: Yeah. Do you remember what happened last night? When you woke me up?
A: AHEAHAHAEHAHA! KID I HAVE NO [Inn0vative new ideas] WHA uR [Chat w/ our esteamed representative!]
Q: The- the ringing? You mentioned ringing. You said it would stop and told me not to pick up, you don't remember that??
A: . . .
Q: S-spamton?
A: ... Don't pick up the phone.
After that, Papa came into the room and asked if he could borrow Spamton so they could discuss stuff, to which Spamton immediately switched demeanor and rushed off with him.
... I think I'm left with even more questions than when I decided to start the interview.
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zanna made me watch national treasure and all i got was riley poole as my new blorbo
@zannolin, a riley ficlet, this is ur doing
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it’s like a math problem. if riley poole has an event that starts at 3:00 PM EST and ends at 4:00 PM EST, and riley poole has two friends who are either “working, i’m so sorry, but have fun, okay?” or just “busy,” then how many people are expected to arrive at riley’s event by 3:30 PM EST? the answer, of course, is none. just riley himself. just him, hidden away at the back of the bookstore, tucked between the cookbook and magazine sections.
the only people he’s seen today were one harried mom in yoga pants looking for better homes and gardens and the store owner themself who came to inform riley that the bathroom on-site was out of order and if he needed to use it any time, he should go to the café across the street. it’s probably the best crowd riley’s drawn yet.
ben and abigail think it’s an ego thing. they’re not completely wrong, because he does like it. his name on the covers, the enthusiastic 3.35 by 4 inch newspaper reviews, the flourish of his signature across the front page. but most of all, it’s because he isn’t like them. he can’t do the genius never to be understood thing. he wants— he needs to be seen. riley poole, in ink, proof that he was here at all.
so riley, sitting in the back of a bookstore even quieter than the museums and mausoleums he’s adventured to, takes an extended course in perseverance.
no matter how many of these he’s had to suffer through—the “are you ben gates?” questions and the driving back home with his own cardboard smile in the backseat—he’s not ready to quit. he’s not willing to be the guy who helped find two lost caches of priceless treasure, but then gave up because nobody came to his book signing. he’s not the last kid alone on the playground anymore. he’s got a cool car and recognition from the white house and two friends who he loves almost as much as they love each other.
give it ten more minutes, he decides. ten more minutes and then he calls it a day. ten more minutes and then he goes home to chalk up another failure on the riley poole is a big loser board.
three of his allotted ten minutes pass by, the hands on his stupid fake rolex limping forward like he’s listening to one of ben’s colonial architecture tangents. he blows invisible dust from a cover. he taps his fingers across the table surface. he sits.
he thinks about doing this for seven more minutes. he thinks about doing this for twenty more events. he thinks about doing this for the rest of his life. the future stretches out before him, an endless aisle of waiting at empty tables for people who never planned on coming.
oh, who is he kidding?
riley kicks his foot under the table, shoving out the empty cardboard boxes so he can sweep the unopened, unsold books back into storage. it’s gonna be a pain getting it all back into the ferrari, like the world’s saddest game of tetris, and even afterwards he’ll have to reconfigure all the boxes to fit into his living room. his living room, which has become somewhat of a monument to his oh-so-successful writing career. stacks and stacks of cardboard boxes, taking over the space, bursting to overflowing. well, it’s not like he has guests over anyways.
empty tables. full boxes. riley poole’s life.
somewhere in front, footsteps pad down the carpeted floor. he doesn’t look up. it’s not for him.
the steps come to a halt oddly close to the table. someone clears their throat.
a familiar voice, “am i in the right place?”
riley’s head jerks up, nearly clipping the edge of the table. from behind a pile of books appears the face of the fbi’s very own special agent sadusky.
“agent sadusky?” riley shakes his head. “sorry, the self-help section is over there.” he points aimlessly. it’s only then that he notices the item in sadusky’s hand. instantly recognizable, given the dozens he has spread around him right now. a copy of riley’s book, coffee cup ring on the cover and the jacket dented. sadusky grins when riley meets his eyes.
“sorry i was late.” the agent shrugs. “we got a tip about somebody trying to steal the constitution.”
it’s 3:41. something lifts in riley’s chest. he settles into his chair and matches sadusky’s smile. “guess originality really is dead,” he says.
#blu writes#national treasure#riley poole#peter sadusky#sorry these two characters who barely interact just mean the world to me#okay so like when does this take place idk
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Comin' Back For More - Joel Miller x Reader
Title: Comin' Back For More
Characters: Joel Miller (The Last Of Us) x AFAB Reader
Warning: 18+ smut - handjob/blowjob/fingering/f receiving oral/so much dirty talk/Calling Joel "Daddy"/age gap/Joel being a cold bastard/graphic talk of sex. Mentions of guns but no violence. No use of y/n. No physical description of the reader except having long enough hair to grip. Intended for an adult audience. 5.4K words.
Summary: Long after the outbreak, you find yourself entangled in a trade agreement with increasingly salacious terms. All you want from Joel Miller is something he's unwilling to give, until you try backing out of the deal.
Note: It has been over half a decade since I wrote for a new fandom, so I hope this goes over well. I just cannot get enough Pedro Pascal and Joel Miller is Daddy, idec. I'm on this thirst train so damn hard.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
"You like bein' a fuckin' whore for me?"
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
+
Life had stopped caring about the little pleasures long ago. There was no time to admire the Spring blossoms while you trudged through the wild landscape to the next pile of rubble, searching for pills. No room for new mouths when the ones around you went without. Even if you stumbled upon a cache of faded tin cans, celebration and indulgence only lasted until you were full, then it was back on foot.
You missed homemade apple pie, getting your hair done, taking time in the grocery store, and getting to know your neighbors. Card games, beer on hot summer nights, fireworks in July, soft vanilla ice cream... But all these things diminished in the shadow of what you missed most: a man's not-so-soft touch.
Sure, there were men around, but they wore assault rifles and army fatigues and had the same amount of time as everyone else— little to none and even less patience for flirting. Who could think of courtship when there were fences to mend, detritus to clear out, and those godforsaken mouths to feed? Not to mention a population of feral infected winding through the country, growing bigger each day in number.
All you had to distract you from the world's cruel fate were your memories, and even those had begun to grey.
In a place with no rules or structure, it was still all work, work, work.
A contact set you up with a new source of meat. They promised more than rabbits if you brought medical supplies and medicine to the trade. The details were murky except for the meeting spot—an area crawling with trigger-happy FEDRA keen on confiscation and worse. The location was far off the main streets, which made your job even more difficult. With only a backpack's worth of supplies, you set out to meet this new contact between an abandoned office building and a half-collapsed warehouse.
Under cover of night, you scurried through the back streets with a pack full of metaxalone and amoxicillin to the spot where the fallen law office billboard faced a mountain of scorched concrete shards. You had no idea who you were meeting, only that they were late. As the minutes ticked by, you worried you had been set up and kept your hand on your hip, near your pistol, ready to draw. Though the night air was cool, you perspired under your hoodie.
Scraping boots on the ground approached, and you snatched up your gun, pointing it into the shadowy alley. A single shape came into view— a man with a dirty bandana covering the lower half of his face. He held out two crossed fingers, and you released your pent-up breath. Crossed fingers were the signal among traders.
"You're late," you said.
"By my watch, you're early."
You threw down your pack, and he threw down his.
"Painkillers?"
You cocked your head. "That's not what was agreed."
"Ten pounds for antibiotics, muscle relaxers 'n painkillers."
"Well, your contact must have missed the memo."
The man studied your uncovered face, eyebrows pinched in the center, lines around his eyes deepened. You both stood rigid, waiting for the other to concede.
"You can put your gun away." His voice was gruff, his stance unyielding. You mirrored him. Showing weakness was not an option.
"I think I'll keep it handy," you said.
"Smells like this deal's gone rotten, then."
"I wasn't told about painkillers. Do you understand how hard they are to come by? I'd need double what you're offering."
"D'you know how hard it is to get fresh meat?"
You scoffed. "Raising livestock has nothing on what we do to find medication. Take the pack, or leave it. Keep your food, and I'll keep my supplies."
The man relaxed his shoulders and dropped his hip. Even with a gun pointed at him, he seemed unmoved by the threat of a weapon in your hands. This frustrated you even more. Traders were always cocky, always male, and always unwilling to budge. You gripped your pistol harder.
You stood in stalemate, stomach rumbling loud enough that he heard it and sighed.
"This can't happen again," he said.
"Guess that's what you get playing broken telephone."
"You can have it, but you owe me."
The nerve of this guy. You lowered your gun and shook your head, smirking indignantly.
"You think so? Well, how about this... I owe you fuck all because your guy gave me the wrong information. So either take the fucking pack and call it square, or piss off and stop wasting my time."
He drew his gun fast, pointing it straight between your eyes. "Looks like you're prone to makin' mistakes. You really wanna die for this, sweetheart?"
"Woah, woah... Easy now."
"Get me the painkillers." He was calm as stagnant water, inching toward you and the packs.
"I don't fucking have any!"
"Keep your voice down."
"Look, we can work out a deal, eh? You don't want to shoot your only source."
"You ain't the only one."
"How about this... We take a little walk behind that billboard there, and I can pay you some other type of way? How long has it been for you?"
"Not interested," he said.
"I get it. You're into men."
"No."
"Just not into me, then?"
He went silent. The barrel of his rifle trailed from your head to your neck, then your chest, and finally, pointed at the ground.
"Grab the bag and get the hell outta here," he dismissed you with a wave.
You stooped to grab the pack and looked up at him. "So, does this mean same time next week?"
"Make it two weeks, 'n bring painkillers."
"Yessir," you said, shouldering the bag and rushing away.
So began your bi-weekly encounters with the "meat man," as you referred to him only to people who needed to know. Every fourteen days, you'd meet him in front of the same rusty billboard and exchange food for medical supplies. He wasn't much of a talker and resisted any attempts at conversation on the nights you exchanged bags. That was alright. You were used to strangers rejecting niceties. After all, there was no time, no space, no room for new friends.
Things changed one night when you came to him short. The recent hunt had been paltry. You had ransacked every derelict town within a twenty-mile radius, leaving nothing behind—not even a single unbranded pill. Without a vehicle, you had to take off on foot for days on end, and your boots were wearing thin, your motivation even thinner. But you needed that food.
You lowered your head as the familiar gait alerted you to his presence. He wore no bandana this time. Struck by the unfamiliar face, you bit your lip and nodded at his crossed fingers.
"Why d'you look sorry?" He asked.
"I, uh... I couldn't get what you needed."
He reached for his gun, paused, and changed his mind.
"Why not?"
"Not sure if you noticed, but this side of the border has been pillaged beyond pillaged. I'll have to head up North to see what I can come up with. That'll take weeks."
"But you still have the usual?"
"Not the painkillers."
"You didn't answer the question."
"Yeah, I got the regular stuff."
His silence was extra frigid now that you could see his mouth beneath a full mustache. The same couldn't be said for his short beard. It was patchy and greying.
"Guess that means the deal is off?" You asked.
He stayed quiet, analyzing you, weighing his options. The question hung stale in the air. You itched but kept your arms at your sides while he looked around and considered the billboard—a convenient cover.
"So, you've had time to consider my offer from the first time we met?"
"Shut up and follow me."
Your heart slammed, skin buzzed with goosebumps.
The billboard offered an even darker corner to hide what was about to happen. His shadowed face was more obscured than before. You could barely see, but you didn't have to. He unzipped his pants, found your wrist, and before guiding your hand, stopped.
"You can back out."
"If this gets me off the hook without a bullet in my head, I'm all for it. Plus, you're kinda cute underneath the bandana.
"Shut your—don't talk. Just... Get it over with."
"Yes, sir."
"What'd I say 'bout talkin'?"
"Not to."
He led your hand to his groin and had you take hold of a warm fleshy mass that dwarfed your palm. He would have seen your eyes bug if you had been in the light.
You whispered a low "sheesh" to avoid angering him further.
The silence spread as you massaged up and down his shaft, feeling the veins and the ridge of the head. Muscle memory from the past told of his girth. You had never been unable to fully wrap your hand around a cock before. Under the makeshift lean-to, the world was so quiet it became a dream, eerie and detached from reality.
His whole body was rigid, almost like he wasn't enjoying himself, but that couldn't be true. He stayed hard and only grew harder. After an excruciating minute and wondering if you were doing it right, his arm shot out, and he planted his hand on the gritty brick wall. No sounds came from his mouth, not even a low grunt, a sigh, or a breath.
His flesh was warm, and the act triggered you between the legs. The meat man wasn't bad on the eyes. Maybe a little war-torn and tired, but who wasn't these days?
You bent at the knees, and he drew breath through his nose.
"What are you doing? No... No, no," Joel said.
"No?"
"No."
"You don't want a blow—?"
"Just," he spoke through his teeth. "Keep going."
You twisted and pulled, alternating between pumping his shaft and massaging the tip. Before your arm got tired, he stuffed two knuckles into his mouth and grunted, hips snapping back, though it was too late to save you from a handful of warm, stickiness.
He reached into his back pocket and handed you the bandana he used to wear on his face to clean up the mess. How gentlemanly, you thought, as he tucked himself away and reclaimed the soiled cloth square.
"How long will it take you to get the stuff?" He asked.
No thank you or anything. You both emerged from behind the board and stepped back into the murk.
"No clue. Like I said, I have to go up North, which could take weeks."
"I ain't got weeks."
"Good, because I didn't want to go up there anyway."
"Can you get peroxide and bandages?"
"Sure. On top of the usual, minus the painkillers?"
He nodded
"What's your name, meat man?"
He grimaced. "Joel."
"Good to formally meet you, Joel."
"Right."
Footfalls alerted you to a new presence, and Joel pushed you back into the shadows, his gun in hand before you could blink.
"Shit. Thought this place was clear."
"It was supposed to be," you said.
From the hidden spot, you watched two pairs of boots walk by, passing where you had dropped your packs. The two soldiers noticed the loot and picked them up. You winced as they rummaged through the valuable contents and laughed about their luck, making off with ten pounds of food and a healthy medicine supply.
"Fuck! That's two weeks' worth of work gone!" You said after the soldiers were long from earshot.
Joel wasn't outwardly upset as he assessed the situation. The meet spot was compromised, and your trade carried off into the night.
"You know where the old paper mill is?" Joel asked.
"Sure, I think I remember."
"Meet me there in a week. Same time. Bring what you can."
There was no use arguing. You had to save your defenses for those expecting you back with salted pork and venison, who would question how you misplaced your packs.
The handjob was a terrible idea, but it didn't stop you from touching yourself later that night when you returned to your bed, thinking about Joel and his warm thickness, a phantom sensation in your palm.
The paper mill still smelled like pulp and paste, despite its crumbling west wall and the birds who had turned the rafters into an aviary. Nature had forced its way into the mill, weaving through machinery, green tendrils decorating the metal staircases. The reclamation was beautiful and terrifying.
The building was too big to know where to wait for Joel, so you traversed the perimeter, checking behind doors with your gun ready, your new bag packed full and strapped to your back. You'd never leave your supplies unattended again after last week, just like you'd never enter a new place without checking for clickers. And when Joel found you snooping, he performed his own preliminary checks despite you saying the building was clear.
Without a word, you traded bags, his significantly lighter than usual.
"Woah, partner. What's the deal? This is nowhere near ten pounds."
"Yeah, I know."
"I went out of my way to find you a handful of painkillers and even threw in some extras because of last week. This... This won't do."
"Supply is short this week."
You chuckled, though you weren't amused. "If that were my answer, you'd already have your gun to my head."
"I can get you more in two weeks."
"Now you're fucking up my schedule."
"It's rough out there."
"You're telling me, buddy. But I seem to recall your pointed lack of sympathy when I said the same thing last week."
"Maybe we can come to an understandin'," said Joel.
Your mouth opened into an O-shape. Joel rolled his eyes.
"I see what's up. You've come back for more. You liked what went down last week."
"Sh—"
"And before you tell me to shut my mouth, let me just say... Boy, I had a nice time, too. Although most guys I jerk off in alleyways tend to say thank you and, uh, return the favor if you catch my meaning."
It had been a while since you made a man blush.
"Are you saying you want to add another layer to our arrangement? Maybe something a bit more permanent? Something just for us and not the people we provide for? Little bit more selfish. You know, something special just for you and me—"
"Enough, already," Joel cut in. "Are you willin' or what? Don't need to hear no speeches."
"You're certainly a charmer, Mr. Joel. Such a way with words."
"Hmph."
"Tell you what, let's make it mutual, and you have a deal."
"Fine."
"And I wanna blow you this time."
He shook his head slowly, the notion seeming like a joke until you pushed him.
"Sit on the step, and take out that nice big cock."
Carnality took over, like drops of blood in a shark tank. You were feral again, like in the past when you had brought guys home from the bar after a night of merciless teasing. This time, Joel didn't just slip it out of his fly. He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down just enough that you saw the tops of his thighs, the hair on his groin... The whole package, balls included. Your mouth watered in preparation. Before you knelt before him, you kicked your bag beneath the first step for safekeeping.
His jeans acted as a barrier, and you grabbed them and yanked them down to his knees, exposing more skin than he was comfortable with. You looked up and licked your lips.
"Come on, Daddy. Spread your legs for me."
Joel was visibly disturbed by the words leaving your mouth yet obeyed all the same. He shimmied the denim to his ankles, and when you took hold of his cock, he leaned back on his elbows and watched, fighting his jaw to remain attached.
You kissed the tip first, all eye contact, and hummed against the frenulum. These kisses trailed down and were erased by your tongue gliding back up and over the head.
"Fuck, you have a great cock," you said before making the top half disappear.
Joel froze like the first time you touched him. After just a few seconds of watching you, he melted back against the steps, lashes fluttering, a ghost of the word "fuck," leaving him.
You couldn't help yourself. His taste was so familiar. It brought you back to simpler times when seduction was a game you played on the weekends, seeing how poignantly you could make a man explode and remember you as the girl who threw the bar to the sky for their new standard of blowjob.
Joel was a tough nut to crack, but once you incorporated your hand around the base and dropped to suck one of his balls into your mouth, he broke like all the rest.
"Jesus Christ, sweetheart."
"Mmhmm, eyes on me, big boy."
He pulled you off his balls with a wet pop and replaced you on his shaft, hand stuck in your hair as he drove one shallow thrust to the back of your mouth, then let you take the hint.
Watching him relax—his jaw tilted toward the ceiling, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat—made you want to take him down as deep as he could fit. You never let go of the base, and soon he was fully ensconced and fighting not to writhe.
"Good lord," he whispered.
You paused to say, "fucking cum down my throat, Daddy."
He threw you a warning look that he'd be talking to you afterward about your choice of words, but you just giggled around him and got to work pumping him into your mouth, moaning for extra sensation. It wasn't long before his balls tensed, and he bit down on his knuckles again, watching the last moments before he came with a low groan and shudder.
You made a show of playing with his cum in your mouth, a satisfied "aaah" proceeding the swallow. Joel looked angry, but only as angry as a man could be after having his cock devoured.
"You like bein' a fuckin' whore for me?"
The line slapped you, got your blood boiling, had you scrambling to pull down your pants just as Joel pulled his up and came after you. His fingertips, rough and ample, found your clit and drew just a few circles before dragging down to measure how wet you'd become. He backed you into a wall, caressing your outer lips before rubbing your clit again with two well-placed fingers. Joel pressed his forehead to yours and held your eyes. When you tried to kiss him, he pulled away but didn't stop teasing your pussy.
"Come on, Daddy, is that all you got?"
He pressed his jaw against your cheek, stubble scraping your skin, whispering, "for a lady, you have a real dirty fuckin' mouth."
"Well, yeah, I just sucked your cock, so what do you expect?"
Joel looked at you in disbelief, fingers stalling as he processed this new information. It was clear you weren't doing this for supplies. You were doing this because you wanted to. For pleasure. To remind yourself that you could still bring a man to his knees. Although Joel did not bend for you. He kept your eyes pinned, his left hand cupping your mouth shut as he pressed his middle finger into you, thumb resting conveniently on your clit where it rubbed in a fine, circular motion until your moans seeped from between his knuckles. Joel stoked a fire between your legs that spread throughout your body. The pressure on your mouth, paired with his dark eyes demanding compliance and the deft way his hand played with you, made your thighs shake. He pressed his weight against your torso to keep you from sliding down the wall.
"Mmmph! Mm... Mmm," your muffled groans vibrated his hand.
"Gonna cum for me now?"
You nodded desperately. Joel smirked.
"Go ahead, sweetheart."
He increased his motion, dragged his hand from your mouth to your collar, and gripped hard. With your mouth now uncovered, you were free to speak.
"Fuck, Joel."
"I know, I know, sweetheart."
"I'm gonna... Oh, I'm gonna—"
"Yes, you are. Cum for me."
It was less the direct stimulation and more how he commanded your stare, used his entire body to incapacitate you, the way he called you sweetheart. It was the decayed surroundings, the near stranger telling you to cum, the smell hanging in the air, and the amount of time it had been since someone gave you this kind of attention. It all amalgamated in your groin and peaked when Joel nodded, giving you permission, demanding your orgasm with no words.
You rutted your hips and ground against him until your nerves sizzled, snapped, and flared red hot. Lurching forward, you rode out your orgasm with your face pressed into Joel's shoulder until he removed his fingers and put a foot of space between you. Joel might have been finished, but you grabbed his hand and took his moist digit into your mouth. The whites of his eyes flashed while you sucked your juices, giggling.
"You're some kind of twisted, aintcha?" He said, pulling his middle finger from between your lips.
"Sorry. It's been a while. Did I get too carried away for you?"
"We should get out of here."
"When do we meet up again?"
Joel left you against the wall to retrieve your bag, swung it over his shoulder, and took in the sight of you before saying, "one week?"
Evil spilled over your face into a grin formation. "No more every two weeks?"
"Don't get too wet over it, sweetheart."
With that said, Joel left you to do up your pants and swoon in the paper mill among the overgrowth and puddles.
These weekly meetings continued, and you soon learned new, weaponizable things about what Joel liked. You realized he secretly loved it when you called him Daddy, but would never admit it, that his whole body would shiver if you kissed the ditch between his pelvis and thigh, that he'd bite his lip if you ran the tip of your tongue over his cock slit and that stroking his thighs would make him fuck your face with his hand on the back of your neck. The fourth time you met in the paper mill, Joel agreed to go down on you, and that was the closest you got to convince him to actually fuck you. When you had opened your legs and let him see the hole he had been fingering for the last month, he looked like he had seen God.
"Don't you wanna fuck it, Daddy?" You had said.
"Shut your filthy mouth."
"Maybe you can shut it with yours."
"Don't push your fuckin' luck with me, sweetheart."
No matter how hot the oral sex, it never persuaded him further. And Joel never kissed you. You couldn't figure out why until one night when an unprecedented event occurred in the newly erected town hall.
Your community had devoted a team of volunteers to clean up the once overrun building and converted it into a center where people gathered and participated in social activities. The building was still a little ramshackle, but there were arts and crafts for the kids and a few folks playing acoustic versions of old radio hits that got everyone dancing and smiling. It had been so long since you heard music or anything but your own singing voice, and as you danced on the warped wooden floor, old memories clouded your eyes with joyful tears.
Those happy tears soon turned to blinding salt when a split in the crowd revealed the man you had been fooling around with sitting on a bench next to a woman with her hand on his thigh and her lips pressed to his temple. Joel saw you too, and the hint of his smile evaporated. You dropped your arms, your heart sinking into the fiery pit of despair that was your stomach.
How had you not seen it before? Joel shunned all notions of romance whenever you tried to initiate a little more intimacy than just his fingers inside you. That's why he wouldn't kiss you. He had a girlfriend. Or a wife. Whatever she was to him, you were no replacement.
The cool night breeze whizzed past your ears, obscuring the rushed footsteps coming up from behind you. The town's power had been restored, so when you felt a thick grip on your elbow and whipped around, you saw Joel there, bathed in the orange glow.
"Get the fuck away from me, Joel."
"Listen—"
"The least you could have motherfucking done was tell me you had someone else, so I didn't spend every night wondering why you won't kiss me. Or... or—"
"It ain't like that, understand?"
"No! I don't understand."
"She's not... Look, I don't... Fuck. We ain't goin' steady, me 'n her. I don't kiss her either."
"But you'll show up in public with her."
"She found me, and we got to talkin'. That's all."
"So, you'll talk to her, but whenever I speak you tell me to shut my fucking mouth."
"'Cause you and I weren't ever supposed to start foolin' around. And you talk too damn much."
You backed away from Joel and relaxed your face as a couple walked by, enjoying the night, unaware of the squabble taking place. You waited until they passed to punch Joel in the chest. He absorbed the blow like it was nothing. This angered you, and you drew back to hit him again, but he caught your forearm in his grip and squeezed.
"Look, I don't need you thinkin' I'm gonna be your boyfriend or somethin'. I'm not gettin' serious with anybody. Hear me?"
"Then why do you do those things to me?"
Joel sighed and released your arm. "I'm only human. Who's gonna turn down a... Nevermind. It doesn't matter. You don't get what I'm tryin' to say, sweetheart."
"Explain then."
"You don't know how to just take what you get. You always want more."
You scoffed in disgust. "Excuse me? You don't know how to just take what you're given! You held a gun to my head, remember?"
"If we take it further, you're gonna get attached, and I can't have that."
"Oh, what? You think if you bless me with your godly cock I'm gonna melt like a popsicle and start following you around everywhere? Get over yourself, Joel. It's not that good."
"Not what you said last week when you were beggin' to sit on my lap."
The reminder lit a flame between your legs. You suppressed your immediate reaction to grin between your teeth, but Joel already knew he was right. You hated the smug look on his face. Why were you so enamored with the much older man? The answer lived in the back of your head where you banished thoughts you didn't want to bear fruit. But it was there. You wanted him because he was experienced. Because he had age showing all over his face, yet the stamina to rival any young guy you had ever fucked. You loved his salt and pepper hair, his stupid green-brown jacket, how his mustache felt when he whispered against your neck, how he called you "sweetheart" and how he bristled when you called him "Daddy." His big hands felt good in your pants, but you wanted them on your bare breasts, sliding down your naked back, gripping your ass. His facial hair tickled your cheeks, but you wanted the abrasion on your lips. The cock that made you salivate when you tasted it made you wet elsewhere. You wanted the stretch, the kisses, the spanks and slaps, and a hand around your throat and for him to lose control and take you like you were prey.
Fuck, it had been so damn long since you wanted someone this bad.
"We should stop trading," you muttered.
"No. We should go back to the original agreement. Goods and that's all."
"I don't want to anymore. I don't wanna see you, Joel."
"Why not?"
"Because you're right. I'll always want more. And I don't want to want more from someone unwilling to give it. I need to stay away from you. Give myself time to get over it. Maybe find someone else to... Whatever."
Joel flinched. He finally fucking flinched.
"I don't wanna stop," he said.
"W-what do you mean? You don't wanna stop trading, or you don't wanna stop doing... You know."
"Both."
"Well, I don't want to suck your cock if you're not gonna kiss me!"
"Would ya lower your goddamn voice?" Joel paled, looking around to make sure nobody was listening. "I'll do it. I'll kiss you 'n all that."
"What's 'and all that'?"
Joel sighed. "You know what I mean."
"No, I don't. Because you don't know what I mean. I don't want no gentle little love-making. I wanna fuck. Hard."
"Good lord," he said, rolling his eyes. "Who made you this way, huh?"
You had him. You fucking had him, and you knew it, and the feeling tingled throughout your whole body. It wasn't Joel worrying about you catching feelings. It was him. Oh, the satisfaction, and oh, the way he tried to play it off. He looked worried as you stepped closer, trailing your finger down the buttons of his work shirt.
"I want you naked," you began. "I want you to fuck me like you're paying for it."
"Christ," he murmured.
"And I don't want you to call me 'sweetheart.' I want you to call me your baby girl, and I want you to call yourself my Daddy."
"You're fuckin' vulgar, you know that?"
"I know I am. And what else... Oh, I want you to get rough with me."
Joel was nearly sweating, his chin to his collarbone as he watched you touch his chest and pop one of the buttons. He clasped your hand to his sternum to keep you from undressing him further.
"Yeah? What else d'you want, baby girl?"
Your skin rippled like all your nerves had gone to sleep and awoke violently. TV static in your legs, a tingling between your legs so fierce your panties would soon cease to contain your liquid arousal, your chest inflated with intrigue. Joel now understood how to wield true power over you, and it wasn't a rifle. You had handed him the keys to your weakness, and he jingled them in front of your face.
"Want me to kiss you? Say your pussy doesn't belong to you anymore? Tell ya it's mine now."
You nodded mindlessly, swallowing drool as Joel continued.
"You want me to pound you nice 'n hard until you forget your name?"
"Yes, Joel."
"Yeah? 'N what should I do to that dirty fuckin' mouth?"
"Anything you want."
"Is that it?" He squeezed your hand, moved it down, made you feel him getting hard in his jeans. Now it was your turn to look around to make sure nobody was watching. "Eyes on me, little girl... Let me tell you what I'm gonna fuckin' do to that pussy."
Joel backed you off the street, turned the nearest corner, and firmly held your neck, but not hard enough to deprive you of air. He tilted your face to his and licked your lips. Before you could open your mouth to taste his tongue, he was already speaking.
"M'gonna split open that tight little cunt, hear me?"
"Yes!" You rasped.
"Gonna make you cum so hard on my cock you fuckin' cry. Then, I'm gonna fuck you even harder."
"Joel, please. I want it right now."
"No, no. You're gonna go home tonight thinkin' 'bout what I'm tellin' you now. Yeah, you'll ache for me. Gonna want it so fuckin' bad by the time I give it to you."
"Joel," you whined.
"M'sorry, what was that? The correct answer is yes, Daddy."
"Yes, Daddy!"
"Attagirl," He said, then kissed you long and hard. "Now, go home. Think about what I told ya. Play with yourself. I don't care. Nothin's gonna feel as good as when I finally have you on my dick, sweetheart."
You stood on your tiptoes to kiss him, but he swerved and cupped your jaw, his thumb caressing your cheek.
"Now, now. No more kisses. Gotta keep you comin' back for more, right?"
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Happy WIP Wednesday!
Have another bit of the TBB AU!
Still don't know where the AU starts other than Tech not dying!
I'm flying by the seat of my pants!
Enjoy!
*******************
“I’m fine sharing with Hunter. Not like we don’t just have bunks in the hallway on the Marauder.” Echo swept the cards into a pile and passed it to Zara to shuffle. “Hope we don’t all have to go on a run on the old girl. Tight fitting us all in already, plus you. Unless,” he side-eyed Crosshair sitting at the workbench and cleaning his rife piece by piece and raised his voice a little, “Crosshair wants to share his bunk.”
Crosshair glared up wordlessly.
Echo chuckled. “We’ll sling another hammock. Or put you up with Omega, she’s got a little more leg room than the rest of us.”
Crosshair gave Zara a leisurely up-down, drawling around the toothpick, “Though, I’d say you wouldn’t take up much of that, would you?”
“Kriff you, personally.”
“I would literally rather be water boarded.”
Echo looked sharply at him and Zara felt a lurch of surprise in the Force.
“Haven’t—Have—?”
“And I have been water boarded.”
Echo nodded and went back to the cards.
Zara frowned. “I—I don’t know—how… Uhh…” She cleared her throat.
“It wasn’t fun. Which puts it on a level with—”
Echo cleared his throat just as Omega came in with a plate of pancakes courtesy of Wrecker.
“What’s not fun?” she asked, sliding in next to Zara.
“Fu—” Crosshair said at the same time as Zara started to say “Tor—”
“Reprogramming maintenance droids.” Echo glared pointedly at Zara, then at Crosshair.
“Yep,” Zara said. “No fun. None at all.”
“So horrible I’d rather be water boarded.”
“Really, Crosshair?”
Crosshair smirked back at Echo, then stood up. “Deal me in.”
“Kriff, now I would rather be water boarded. He always wins Fours.”
Echo scooted to the next chair, putting him and Omega across from each other. “Not if we play partners. Omega and I have been working on our hand signals.”
“Yes!”
Zara frowned as Crosshair sat down at Echo’s newly vacated chair across from her, twitching this morning’s toothpick to the other corner of his mouth and giving her a menacing smile.
****
“You are—!” Zara groaned through her teeth as Omega swept another pile of cards into her and Echo’s cache. “You’re losing on purpose! Just because—!”
“Because you implied that I cheat?” Crosshair purred. “What kind of petty asshole would I have to be to do that?”
Zara swung a reckless kick at him under the table, which he must have anticipated, as he was already scraping his chair back from the table, legs braced wide.
“You know,” Zara growled, conceding her loss and returning to the cards as Crosshair’s chair slid back to the table, “I agreed to stay on purpose, and I was prepared to like all of you—to get along, even—and you’re just being—Oh, damn it all to—!”
Omega gleefully swept another pile of cards to her side of the table as Wrecker’s head poked out of the kitchen. “You guys good out here?” He glanced around at them.
“Zara’s a really sore loser!” Omega giggled, dealing out the next round.
“I thought Jedi were all about inner peace and serenity and—”
“Oh shut up!” Zara snapped at Crosshair, glowering at her cards. Echo and Omega were both laughing now.
Something bumped her foot. She glared at Crosshair. He glared back. Four quick bumps, a pause, then what felt like a foot leaning against hers three times in a row, dot dash dot dot—
How long had it been since she’d used dadita? And how the hell did he know it?
But it did preface a remarkable change in their ‘luck.’ He wasn’t necessarily better at cards than she was, but he was certainly better at math.
“What?” Echo spluttered at the eighth round in a row of complete annihilation. “How could you know I had that?”
Zara shrugged back at him. “Always save your fours.”
A corner of Crosshair’s mouth twitched up in a smile.
#echo and zara are besties#crosshair deals with his trauma like an ADULT#by deflecting through sarcasm#clones speaking mando'a? no!#clones knowing dadita? yes!#because it lets them cheat at cards#wrey writes#wip wednesday#star wars#tbb echo#tbb omega#tbb crosshair#oc zara
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I guess it's just not "exciting" to have a character who is "good" without also being somewhat bitter and badass (i.e Katniss Everdeen) or a rage filled warrior (as was the case with Nesta).
I feel like I'm in the minority where I actually love the thought of someone outside of the typical warrior heroine mold making a difference through things like intelligence and love. Who would never choose violence unless it was a last resort in order to protect a loved ones. Who, despite the fact that other characters understand the need for darkness to get things achieved, still prefers to look for solutions that avoid it. There has to be balance and for all the awesome but somewhat jaded (though brave) warriors in this series who are willing to do WHATEVER is necessary to protect others, I love that there is a character like Elain who chooses to focus on the good. She's not naive like Feyre once thought, she's fully aware of everything going on around her but still tries to focus on the positive.
Elain sometimes just … didn’t grasp things.
“People acted as if we’d all just been ill for eight years, or had gone away to some distant country—not that we’d been a few villages over in that cottage. You’d think we dreamed it all up, what happened to us over those years. No one said a word about it.” “Did you think they would?” If we were as rich as this house suggested, there were surely plenty of families willing to overlook the stain of our poverty. “No—but it made me … made me wish for those years again, even with the hunger and cold. This house feels so big sometimes, and father is always busy, and Nesta
“Nesta,” Elain said again, twisting her hands. “If … if we do not help Feyre, there won’t be a wedding. Even Lord Nolan’s battlements and all his men, couldn’t save me from … from them.”
if Feyre needs to be in and out for meetings, she’ll send word ahead, and we’ll clear them out. Make up excuses to send them on holidays. Father won’t be back until the summer, anyway. No one will know.”
“Feyre gave and gave—for years. Let us now help her. Help … others.”
“And as for Feyre’s hunting during those years, it was not Nesta’s neglect alone that is to blame.
"we failed her. Both of us.”
“His father has high walls—made of thick stone. With space for plenty of people and supplies.”. They have defenses, stores …” A shallow breath. “And a grove of ash trees, with a cache of weapons made from them.” “There are escape tunnels.
“If—if you and … they”—a glance at Rhys, my friends—“come with me, your Fae scents might distract the dogs.”
Just long enough to convince him to open his gates to those seeking sanctuary. Perhaps even let you set those wards around the estate.”
“It’s already ended badly. Now it’s just a matter of deciding how we meet the consequences.”
Elain seemed to realize it, too
Elain silently surveyed the tent.
Elain offered a half smile. “I suppose that war makes wanting things like that unimportant.”
Elain had seemed more than content to simply watch the humming city, to take in the sparkling strands of faelights strung between buildings and over the squares, to sample any tidbit of food offered by an eager vendor, to listen to minstrels busking by the now-silent fountains.
“It’s their tradition, though,” Elain countered, her face still flushed with the cold. “One that they fought and died to protect in the war. Perhaps that’s the better way to think of it, rather than feeling guilty. To remember that this day means something to them. All of them, regardless of who has more, who has less, and in celebrating the traditions, even through the presents, we honor those who fought for its very existence, for the peace this city now has.”
“Because you’re the foundation, the one who lifts us. You always have been.”
“No one but the King of Hybern is to blame for that.”
You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”
“I am not a child to be fought over.”
“I always thought she was born on the wrong side of the wall,” Elain admitted. “She made ballrooms into battlefields and plotted like any general.
“The duke was vain, and Nesta played into that.
“Nesta never spoke of it afterward,” Elain said. “I just observed.”
I’m very pleased to hear of this Valkyrie business. I’m happy that Nesta finds interest in something again. And might channel all of … that into it.”
Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why.
“Maybe you’ll become interesting at last, Elain.”
those years of poverty hadn’t stripped away that light from Elain. Perhaps buried it a bit, but she was generous, loving, and kind
Elain had said she missed it, and I wondered what she saw when she looked at the cottage. If she beheld not a prison but a shelter—a shelter from a world that had possessed so little good, but she tried to find it anyway, even if it had seemed foolish and useless to me. She had looked at that cottage with hope; I had looked at it with nothing but hatred. And I knew which one of us had been stronger.
She had been always so full of light.
"What can I get you, Elain?" Elain shook her head once more. “Sunshine.”
She was a rose bloom in a mud field.
Elain was a blooming flower in this army camp.
“Grab onto him!” Elain ordered. Elain screamed at her, “If you want to live, do it now!” Elain’s pale hands lurch—gripping the girl by her neck, holding her as tightly as she could. The girl screamed, but Elain moved. My sister sent a fierce kick into the beast’s face. Its eye. Another. Another. It bellowed, and Elain slammed her bare, muddy foot into its face again. The blow struck home.
Elain threw her arms around me. I did not remember when I began to cry as I felt those slender arms hold me, tight as steel.
Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, “Don’t you touch my sister.”
found her so lovely it had wanted to give her something …
Elain quietly washed his face. Combed out his hair and beard. Straightened his clothes. She found flowers—somewhere. She laid them at his head, on his chest. We stared down at him in silence. “I love you,” Elain whispered, voice breaking.
a rose carved from a dark sort of wood. “He made this one for Elain
the carved wooden rose she’d placed upon the mantel, half-hidden in the shadows beside a figurine of a supple-bodied female, her upraised arms clasping a full moon between them. Some sort of primal goddess—
she pulled the small, carved rose from her pocket and set it upon the gravestone. A permanent marker of the beauty and good he’d tried to bring into the world.
It was a small, flat rose fashioned of stained glass (glass is fragile, breakable, exactly how others view Elain), designed so that when held to the light, the true depth of the colors would become visible.
There are people like this in real life too. Where you hear about the horrible things they've experienced in life and you're amazed that they greet every day and every person with a smile. Who choose to focus on the positive rather than be held back by the past. I find that inspirational.
And when it comes to Mates, I love that Lucien compliments her personality because he's the same way. He's had so many horrible things happen to him yet he's not bitter or angry (to an extreme amount). He's still a good friend, a voice of reason, a logical observer and someone who doesn't want to resort to violence.
There are so many references to Night and Shadows, Darkness and Rage in this series and that has been great for the characters we've read about so far. But I LOVE that Elain and Lucien are the power couple representing the balance to all that. Light and Sunshine and a bit of necessary softness and understanding which can be just as much a measure of strength than even the strongest of warriors.
#pro elucien#elain archeron#elain x lucien#lucien and elain#lucien vanserra#elain and lucien#lucien x elain#pro elain archeron#pro elain#acotar
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addison lore? I cannot find any thing about their relationship or backstory or junk? Seems like a lots going on and I wanna know
OHOHOHOHOH THIS IS GONNA BE FUN!
Okay, the little bit I have got on them I put on their AddiName polls back when I was coming up with their names. So, let me go grab those real quick but we're gonna also get into some other stuff about them too. Banner (Blue), Cache (Orange), Click (Pink), Flash (Yellow)
Whenever I think about the Addisons, my head canons end up coming from the HotSpots (aka Chicago's friends who mirror them). This is only because I thought of the 'Spots first, and based them off any loose head canons I had of the canon Ads. My brain is weird, I admit this!
So, I've already mentioned the age order I see them in. Which, ironically, ended up being a complete coincidence that it also lined up with the HotSpots, though I can guess because I likely used the same method when figuring out age order, which was searching up "when did x advertising thing become a thing." Technically speaking, with that method I also should've had Spamton be the oldest (first spam email sent in 1978 while first ad banner was 1994) but I wanted him to be the youngest. But! Just to refresh, Banner is the oldest while Flash and Spam are the youngest! Cache is the second oldest and Click is right in the middle! However generally, they're all around the same age, and I don't see any of them being related.
I already mentioned some stuff about them as individuals/how their Addison types work, so lets focus a bit more on relationships! Which I only skimmed in the previous posts, mostly focusing on their feelings towards Spamton. (But also we're still gonna get into a bit more of the individuals because I feel it's a little necessary)
So! Starting with Banner, I've mentioned previously how Banner is often the most responsible and level headed of the group, and sees himself as some what of the older brother of the group/responsible for everyone else. Though, ironically, doesn't tend to be the one to clear up arguments, instead is often instigating them by arguing with Flash for slacking off or something. To Banner, Flash is like an annoying younger sibling who never listens to what he's supposed to do, and is just a bit more energetic than Banner would like. In the past, Banner often found it bothersome how much Flash would be a bad influence towards Spamton, with the two often doing reckless and stupid shit together and getting in trouble. You know that comic I posted earlier? Banner would believe it was mostly Flash's fault. (It wasn't. Spam was the one who caused the two to start getting chased.)
When it comes to Banner's relationship with Cache and Click? Eh, it's sorta so so. Banner often works with Cache as they both advertise fashion, though now I have the idea of Cache getting annoyed at Banner for either trying to eat some of Cache's work, or sell it as something edible. That may work for Banner's shoes and stuff, but Cache is very much of the mindset that her fashion is art, not food. As for Banner and Click, they don't really have that much of a relationship outside of work now a days but I have a sense that back before all the Big Shot drama stuff with Spam, they hung out. Likely talked over tea and stuff. As of right now, I don't imagine Banner really with anyone (If I'm being honest, the only Addisons I ship are Click and Spam, with maaaaaybe Cache and Flash being a thing at some point), but I do imagine Click teasing or getting on the Banner's back about relationships (which he probably does for a lot of people. I mean, Click's a pink addison! It's what they do!) ... Okay maybe now that I think about it, I may have some ideas for relationships with Banner, but they aren't within the main Addigroup.
Next up is Cache! The second oldest the one who takes their job seriously to a fault. Banner might be the most responsible, but Cache is the most hard working, to the point he over works himself. She didn't always, mostly because Flash would always find some way to ensure she didn't, though after Spam left... Well, you know. Asides from being a workaholic though, Cache is very fashionable and a bit eccentric. They always love trying out new things with their fashion lines and if you get them started on whatever they're working on, they likely will not stop, and will actually likely talk their way into making something for you. Now a days, I feel he doesn't like others modeling for him though, preferring to stick with his mannequins, but there was a time when Spamton was his favorite model/one of the only people she'd get to model her work.
Asides from that, I mentioned a bit of Cache and Flash's relationship previously, and the more that I think about it, the more I find them an adorable couple. If not currently, then definitely they were dating at some point. For the other Addison's though, I mentioned Banner and Cache's relationship. To this day, they refuse to ever dabble in any edible clothing, maybe out of respect for Banner, maybe out of annoyance for Banner continuing to try and eat her clothes. Likely the latter. (Idk why I'm latching onto that so much. Idk, just, no one talks about the Blue Addison in game with their edible shoe samples and telling you to try a bit of some clothes on a mannequin in Castle Town. It's very funny, it has potential.)
As for Cache and Click? I feel they have a bit of a rivalry? Like I think at times they're like the "I can't stand his fake ass. 10 minutes later me and the bestie" meme. Mostly though just... I wrote an interaction into a future chapter when we're more properly introduced to the Addisons, where Cache is just roasting Click while working on a design.
Anyways, speaking of Click! Let's talk about ol' Clicard. Click is the middle one and though he acts all nice and sweet with customers, the others know he's not as cut and dry as that. Click can honestly be a sassy little bitch and Banner, Cache and Flash are well of this. Click often finds herself being the mediator of arguments within the group (at least when she's not the one arguing) either just due to circumstance, or because there is a customer around and she's trying to save face. I find this incredibly ironic considering, hey, you know when Spamton became a Big Shot and the group kicked him out/sorta broke up? Yeah? Click instigated that. While none of them really liked Spamton's success, either being annoyed with how much he kept talking about it or being concerned about the phone, Click was absolutely bitter and jealous. He ended up calling Spam out on everything one day and fought broke out and Spamton left/was kicked out. To this day, none of them are over this, no matter how much Click defends that she feels nothing and has pushed everything down. For an Addison type attuned to emotions of customers, Click sure likes denying his own!
Speaking of denying feelings! I mentioned how Click will tease people about relationship stuff. She will do this with all of her friends, as well as give others pretty good relationship advice, however when it comes to Click's own relationships, yeah. Yeah he's terrible at that. This Addison does not know how to process her emotions. Like. Pretty much at all. This gets even more interesting when it comes to his feelings around Spamton. At the same time, bitter and jealous still from the Big Shot era, but also misses it, but also is kinda heart broken over everything, but also still has feelings for Spam. Just, one big ol mess of feelings. This makes when the Addisons and Spam finally reunite very interesting, but we won't get to that until Chapter 23. I'm still writing it.
What we will get to much, much sooner though is Chapter 12, set to release tomorrow morning. Where Chicago is going to meet the Addisons for the first time. I can't say much, but I just want to share this interesting tidbit from the Chapter which I find very interesting.
Yep. Just that.
Anyways, Click's relationships with the others. I've mentioned most the others already, but for Click and Flash? Click finds Flash to be an idiot. That's pretty much it.
Now last but not least, Flash! Second youngest and most energetic of the bunch! Back when Spamton was around, Flash was one of the closest to the littlest Addison, the two often getting into trouble, much to the other's dismay or annoyance. Now a days, Flash is just a little less energetic. Everything that happened hit them hard, and they're still trying to come to terms with it all like everyone else. Flash was the only one of the Addisons to ever go looking for Spamton after the eviction, though the fact he was never able to find his little buddy, led him into a bit of a depression. Cache pretty much being the only one to get them out of their slump and even back out advertising again.
As for Flash's relationship with Banner and Click? Flash finds a bit of enjoyment in annoying both of them, mostly Banner, but also he finds it funny when he can get Click mad. Most the time they're doing it in good fun, but there are also times when they don't know when to stop. Which can often cause problems.
#the addisons#addisons#pink addison#orange addison#addison headcanons#spamton x pink addison#addispam#blue addison#yellow addison#spamton g spamton#banner#cache#click#flash#banner s addison#clicard m addison#flashiell c addison#cachemer v addison#petra's headcanons#the puppet and the real boy#TP&tRB#undertale ish#jugglebuggle
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Sims 3 Memory Freer
Been kinda busy so I haven't had any sims3 time lately :( but I'm back at it and lookin' at Error 12 again, this time with an ASI file you can use!
Here is a link to the memory "freer", spoilers, it doesn't really free memory. Please read the readme, but basically it just shows a message box/alert when you're getting close to the cap, and has a hotkey (f8) for setting max detail lots to 0 (sometimes helps free memory in a pinch).
To use it you'll either need the smooth patches ASI loader or dxwrapper's (recommended), then just pop it into your Bin directory (make sure LoadPlugins is set to 1 if you're using dxwrapper).
I'm also going to update my performance tweaks post to fix some of the now-inaccurate information, but most of the stuff there I still recommend (just not dxvk).
If anyone knows anything that triggers a purge/cleanup lmk! It would fix literally all of this. I've tried traveling to other maps, entering into various editors, changing settings, chanting hymns etc, but nothing seems to work.
Unfortunately nothing I've tried on the memory-freeing front has really panned out, but I still have some avenues that I want to check out. The issue seems to be lot objects not being fully unloaded once the lot is no longer high-detail loaded, which causes memory to balloon over time as more lots are detail loaded.
Here's some things I've tried, in typical rambling fashion, a lot of this will be meaningless to 99% of people:
DXVK…. Nooooooo…. It seems like it does increase overall memory usage. I'm not sure if I've just stuffed a config option up or something, but it seems to have a substantial impact. I'd recommend just sticking with d9 for now, or using dxwrappers 3D9On12 (idk if it actually works tho)
HeapCompact/Clearing working set. Clearing the working set will let you save, however it wont actually remove that memory, you'll just crash instead of getting an Error 12
Obvious memory leaks. Sadly every alloc has a free assigned to it, so there's no easy, obvious memory leaks.
Setting D3DPOOL to DEFAULT, game no like, textures don't display
Manually clearing textures. Kind of worked, but there's no real way to selectively know which textures are safe to unload, because the game often reports things wrong. I might revisit this failing everything else
Deleting cache files/save cleaning. Not a fan, doesn't fix the issue, merely delays it and makes your game look like glitchy garbage in the meantime. If you're going to clean your save, just delete the _objects file in WorldCaches and then mark it as read only. The sims one isn't worth the limbless horrors that await you, and sims load in much faster than objects, which can sit grey'd for minutes (or until you save your game and they all load in at once and crash you)
Various config options and settings. I did find some neat hidden options and some useful settings, but nothing that really has a huge impact. I found ForceHighLODObjects which is what I was looking for in my initial performance tweaks post, which basically cures stutter, at the cost of much higher memory usage. Useless until there's an object free-ing fix, and even then probably a very bad idea on maps like Alpine County.
Anywho, that's it for this post. Remember to always save in the map screen!
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I am drowning in paper…I want to blame my addiction to back-to-school sales, but tbh…
1) I can only blame 3 of these on a back-to-school sale, and
2) I have a few more elsewhere, in odd sizes. (Not even counting the half-composition books I’ve decided to draft short stories in).
In my defense, I bought six of these (the purple ones on the far right and the first three red ones on the other side of the five pale blue ones) in threes on purpose; no part of FWJB perfectly fit a notebook (I wrote bits of two or three shorter pieces in the back of IV’s book, then tore out the perforated pages at the very back to donate to IE’s, which ran way, way over the length of the volume; the book for IG still has about 30 pages blank, as about half of it was only composed on the computer after I kept moving the order of scenes around, which made keeping them in a bound notebook…fun), but I got attached to the idea of writing in threes. Both the original three FWJB notebooks (3 is pictured in the foreground) and the purple ones are Leuchtturm’s; I got them half-price from a webshop that was no longer going to carry the brand, and this made them fall into the happy space between “nice enough to feel a bit special (and to handle the abuse of being lugged around in my purse for all that time), but not so nice or unique that I don’t feel like I can actually, y’know…write in them.” Four blue ones and four red/burgundy ones are from a Walmart brand, Exceed; same number of pages as the Leuchtturms, and share the fun trait of numbered pages, but a bit taller and broader and with heavier paper which is lovely to write on, even though they’re less than half the price of the Leuchtturms. Mostly got those on clearances too, though, as apparently I’m very odd in liking ruled notebooks and loathing dotted ones, so the ruled ones were cleared out. I don’t remember where the one with constellations on it came from, only what I had planned to use it for, but one of the two non-Exceed red ones came from a Tuesday Morning (a dumping ground for unsold upmarket materials at very low prices, like TJMaxx; I buy an odd amount of tea at those two shops, as they almost always have some of these really lovely English-blended Ceylons available, and I can’t find anything anywhere else quite like them). The constellation notebook was meant for a loose collection of short stories with Future Dipper that probably won’t happen; the purple ones were for another AU trilogy which also probably won’t happen…there’s 18 of them here. I wrote FWJB in about a year and a half, I think? So if I get back to writing at that speed again…geez, what, roughly ten years of workspace are currently in my kitchen? I gotta come up with another series idea…or, like, shake my head, point out to myself that the very idea of eventually writing 21 Gravity Falls novels is insanity, and dedicate myself to trying to write something original that I can at least attempt to make money with, but let’s be realistic, here. I’m probably a lot more likely to a) still be obsessed and b) still have an audience to inflict my obsession on when GF turns twenty than I am to straighten up and do something sensible. Not a terribly sensible person, me, as this hoard no doubt helps illustrate ;)
Moral of the story, though, kids: just because it is on clearance isn’t a good reason. Do what I was smart enough to do *before* I started my first trilogy, which was “only buy the notebooks when you have thoroughly committed to writing the book, have a plan already in place and etc.” Start thinking about the future and what you might do and next thing you know, you end up a) with a dragon’s cache of books to fill and b) eventually have an odd mood and decide confession is good for the soul and show said cache to the Internet at 11pm on a Thursday.
#writing#writer problems#fanfiction#real life#notebook#notebooks#rambling#seriously though even pros rarely write 21 readable books what is even wrong with me
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intermission
masterpost
---
The next time they woke, it was much more gradual. Sound, again, trickled in first: hissing and clicking, rhythmic and soothing, familiar but faded in their memory. It sounded like home, it gave them a sense of safety.
They remembered pain, from before they passed out - but it was gone, their body not signaling anything wrong right then. They jerked a little at the realization, and became aware of their position: kneeling on a hard floor, again.
Vision flickered on, as it had before, and if they'd had eyelids, they'd have blinked at the interior of the Orbiter.
"Operator, you're awake again!" Ordis said happily, too loudly, too energetically for how sluggish they felt. "Finally," he glitched, and followed that up with an apologetic: "Sorry, Operator, it would seem Ordis sustained damage on more than one level from the Grineer scavenging."
They raised their head at that. They might have been feeling a little slow right then, but from what they could remember from before, their head was much clearer now. "More than one?" they signed at the ceiling, tilting their head questioningly.
"Did you not notice- ah, yes, the Grineer stole several segment modules and left the ship in disarray," Ordis said, shame and dejection clear in his voice, as if it was somehow his fault. "You already helped to recover the modules, but- I can't work like- Ordis would appreciate it if you could acquire materials for the rest of the repairs too, sometime soon."
They looked around. A thick layer of dust covered the interior, clearly marking footsteps from marines and jagged stripes where components had been dragged across the floor. A broken cable sparked half-heartedly at them from the shadows.
"It is done," they signed, the usual sign for agreeing on a plan of attack when used in missions with other Tenno. A second after making the sign, they were hit by the familiarity of it - and how rusty the recall of the memory felt. They still had the meaning and motion of the sign in their memory, but they couldn't remember actually using it. Other Tenno?
Ordis seemed to recognize it too, because he gave a happy sigh of relief, and said: "Oh, thank you, Operator! Ordis will be glad to be- capable of eviscerating- restored once more."
They had a plan once more, then, and so they set about gathering up their gear and mods - they could swear there used to be more of them - and had Ordis set a course towards the nearest supply caches.
Over the next several missions, he would noticably try to steer them away from Corpus hotspots, despite the fact that they knew they could find the specific cabling that Ordis needed there. A blurry memory from when the Ascaris was still on them niggled at them from the back of their mind, so they asked him about it.
"You have something against the Corpus, too, now?" they signed at the camera he had pointed at the nav console.
"I- well, that is- do you really not remember what Darvo suggested, Operator?" Ordis asked, sounding small.
"I was barely conscious," they reminded him. "I really don't."
Ordis took a moment before responding, as if fortifying himself. "He, erm, suggested you acquire a new Cephalon, once you have the funds. Which, which would be entirely understandable, and perhaps even wise, for the Operator to do! I- Ordis is rather broken- scarred and ugly- after all, and-"
"Whoa!" they interrupted him with a broad handwave, to get his attention. What the hell? Where'd that come from? "Why do you think that?"
"Ordis has been experiencing glitches, Operator, you must've noticed," he said, voice tight, "I can't possibly serve you well like this."
The Operator thought on this for a moment. "I think- I don't remember much, but from what I do remember, we've been through a lot together, yes? I don't think I'd want another Cephalon, at all. It hadn't even crossed my mind, and the thought disturbes me a little, to be honest."
"Well, if you're sure," Ordis said, badly hiding how pleased he was. "Thank you. Ordis will try his best."
They shook their head, amused. "Now, let's go rob some Corpus. You said they had lots of credits?"
Ordis laughed and marked the coordinates.
Later, once the crack in the Liset's glass is fixed and there are no more sparking cables, and all the dust has been cleared from the various surfaces, the Operator will raise a hand to brush off a final speck of dust on the nav console, and halt - looking at their sword-steel hand in several shades of grey, covered in many minute scratches, and one half of them will recoil, and think - that's wrong, that's not mine. Taken aback by the unexpected reaction, they will twist the hand, curling the fingers into a fist and stretching them again, examining. The feeling will remain, but the other half of them will reply - no, this is correct, this is mine.
They will file away the consideration for later, as a message from the Lotus comes in right then, an intercepted letter from Tyl Regor, about one Maroo stealing something from him.
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WP: Your roommate is the serial killer on the news. One day they say "I'm bored, got anyone in mind for me to... y'know?"
“I’m bored, got anyone in mind for me to… y’know?
It was a loaded question. There were, of course, some people I would like to see murdered. Every day you read about corrupt politicians making disgusting decisions against humanity. Beyond that there were a few criminals I could think of that were deserving of some karmic justice. But when Aida asked me this question, there was only one person I could think of, one person who needed to hurt the way I do.
It was another hustling day under the scorching California sun when I found out my roommate was a serial killer. No like, I actually found out Aida was a serial killer. I read plenty of reports online: “The Marigold Murderer Strikes again!” The M.O. was quite simple: a body would be found, usually within 3-5 hours of the death. The victim laid in pristine condition- always made to look like they were asleep. And while the scene would always be cleared of any sort of evidence that could identify such a murderer, there would always be a perfectly laid marigold, right on the heart of the victim.
“I wonder why they used a Marigold… doesn’t seem very intimidating to me” I once posed to Aida.
“Well I heard Marigolds are used to honor the dead. Maybe it’s some weird way of saying sorry?”
At first I had no reason to suspect Aida of such crimes. After all, we’ve lived together for about a year. I had seen her at her best- cleaning the apartment while blasting 90’s power ballads. And I had also seen her at what I assumed to be her worst- puking in my toilet after margarita night went beyond saving. I had grown to respect Aida and learn how to live with her. I never imagined she would be capable of doing anything as insane as committing a string of murders.
So imagine my surprise when I walked in her room last week, and found a cache of marigold petals, reposed in her closet. An odd sight to be sure, but that alone was not enough. I decided to check what the police had published on the Marigold Murderer. Virtually no identifying information, and the list of victims had almost nothing in common. A churchgoing mom who was adequately respected, a single business man who lived more to be an influence than for himself, a graduate student with a habit of getting wasted at college bars and harassing undergrads. Nothing linked these people with one another, nothing but Aida.
At least that’s what Aida told me when I confronted her. To my surprise, she didn’t deny it. She didn’t try to excuse it or make it sound like it was any better than it was. Aida owned up to every bit of it and told me if I wanted to report her, that it was my choice. She said it started as an accident, but when she never got caught, it became a habit. But she didn’t just choose anyone. She chose only those people she had interacted with and determined that those in their lives would be better off without them there.
“The Marigold is the flower of the sun” she said… “It also represents good fortune and optimism. I’m optimistic that those left in the wake of my crimes will have their chance to grow”.
So maybe it was that thought that led Aida to ask me the golden question: “got anyone in mind for me to, y’know?”
I’m not entirely sure why I never turned her in. Maybe a part of me still refuses to believe it. Maybe the friendship I had developed with Aida made me overlook it. Or maybe… dare I say… I did have someone in mind I needed Aida to help me with. Someone who deserved to hurt the way I do.
“Aida… you know there’s only one person I wish would drop dead. Miguel… after all this time together, he has the audacity to go out and pose with every cheap floozy that lives in Orange county. It’s like I meant nothing to him. Every now and again he’ll like one of my posts… maybe leave an emoji as a comment… but I’m sick of it. I am sick of being reminded by how perfect he exists and how he doesn’t want me anymore. How can someone change their mind like that? It’s only been a month since we broke things off… but every day I carry the pain of what we were and every day I see him weightless. I wish I could be like that.”
“...Do you think killing him could be the answer?”
“Aida-”
“I don’t mean to judge. I’ve done it for less than that. I just want to be sure it’s what you want.”
“What I want is for Miguel to love me again. What I want is to bring our love back from the dead. Do you think you could do that?”
Aida sighs and responds, “Now you know just as well as I do… he needs to be alive for that to happen.”
The silence grows between us. Of course it’s true. I want Miguel dead, not because he hurt me, but because seeing him alive knowing I’m not with him is the cruelest kind of hell. Maybe without Miguel… maybe then I could grow. Or maybe I would spend every day of my life thinking of him in a completely different way. They say time heals, but I can’t help but wonder how long it will take.
The silence continues, but as though she read my mind, Aida hands me her wine. I take a solemn sip and lay my head on her shoulder. It’s crazy to think I could trust a serial killer, but right now, there’s nothing she can do that would hurt more than the pain I’m already feeling.
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